#with an expectation of being understood

[variousqueerthings]

There are, however, those for whom there is no other answer [other than to have surgery]. In my experience these people, both men and women, are asexual before they make the changeover and have difficulty in relating to others because of their own confusion which comes from deep within them. Once they have made the changeover, and they are what they have always felt themselves to be, their emotions are released and they become capable of a deep loving.

"Know Thyself" speech by Mrs Doreen Cordell at the 16th March, 1974 TV/TS UK conference, held in Leeds

Fascinated by the use of the word asexual here, definitely covering (if not actually mainly about) what we today would call "aromanticism" and the ways the conference/1970s attitudes towards TS/TV distinction takes on a pathologisation of various behaviours in an attempt to normalise the parts that individual activists/speakers related more to within themselves -- I am the normal trans, and you can tell because of xyz medically/psychologically measurable behaviours

I think this is a limitation that's deeply baked into 20th century trans histories and politics, which in no small amount came from the pathologisation of queerness (see how trans and ace are linked along the lines of mental illness) as a whole in the 1950s-onwards, specifically from the cis, white, male majority psycho-babble

It's important to unpack these limitations, especially as how they pertain to throwing others under the bus, in particular if we as a community want to better support anti-colonialist and anti-racist gender movements and our intersex siblings

The 1974 conference is an important moment in trans history, that undoubtedly contains within it a great deal of joy and community, as well as intersex voices (Miss Della Alexander was a pretty big deal in the UK community in 1974, although I wonder if some of her ideas aren't too radical even for today -- I think they're still very interesting and might share some of her words on here as well, they certainly make me think, even if I don't know where those lines of thoughts are going) but simultaneously reiterates or often struggles to have the effective words to challenge white, western-centric, passing-focused, pathologised, and intersexist ideologies

what parts of all of this muddle have we managed to challenge today, and what voices are we still not centering enough?

I do note, I know a few trans people who identified as ace pre-transitioning, as well as trans people who identified as allo in one way or another, and their sexuality changing with transition -- crucially, they didn't think of their pre-transition sexualities as a negative, but merely a part of their ongoing journey, and even if someone were to see it as a negative symptom (and I'm sure many do) it's not a generalisation of everyone's experience in the way one often risks seeing in some of these older takes (or... some modern takes)

(I deliberately didn't get more into the asexual/aromantic conflagration and pathologisation, because that's its whooole own post that I'm still thinking about as I continue to read the conference transcript. suffice to say, it's interesting to learn more and unpack a lot of what was said 50 years ago)

[shiraishi--kanade]

"It's so embarrassing to admit I only create art for validation" did paleolithic humans not paint for other humans to see. Does a child making their first drawing to show their parents makes it any less valuable. Do gardens arranged for the visitors' eyes make the roses any less beautiful. Do love poems written for one person alone to hear make your heart ache less. You're fine

[luridcomixofthenuit]

Me in my very first class as a substitute teacher after completely losing control of the kids in the first 2 minutes

[professorjirt]

listen it’s none of my business but when you say “Bilbo would have been better for taking the Ring” and then state “Frodo’s character was mishandled” I think maybe you like the Lord of the Rings inside your head more than the one actually written 💀 as if it wasn’t stated multiple times both in the text and by Tolkien himself why Frodo was the Ringbearer. Pleeeeeaaaase PLEEEEAAASE stop giving me gray hairs and take an interest in the text you read and it’s deeper meanings beyond power scaling characters, favoritism and finding the “most efficient way to take the ring to Mordor”. The debates about who should have taken the Ring are the exact same as “they should have flown the eagles to Mordor” except it’s spoken by people who genuinely are avid fans of the books and movies.

[rosekasa]

there is something so. intensely frustrating about feeling incapable of showing up for people the way that they want you to

[cesarescabinet]

Being a Skyvik fan gives me whiplash with how they've been handled I swear.

[hualianisms]

finding out that in the original script for mysterious lotus casebook ep 19, after FDB passionately argues that LLH wasn't arrogant, but had good intentions and simply wanted to establish a more just and moral sect in the jianghu and LLH says:

then in the original script deleted line, LLH calls FDB his 知交 zhi jiao*, not just "best friend", in this dialogue here:

*知交 zhi jiao is a term that has a similar meaning to zhi ji. something like a companion who Knows you on a profound level. for a detailed explanation of what zhi jiao means, see this twitter thread by forhenjun which talks about how zhi jiao is specifically mutual and reciprocal.)

so LLH called FDB his zhi jiao first, even way before FDB calls LLH his zhi ji... because FDB alone understood LXY's true character and intentions, unlike everyone around LXY who put him on an unfair pedestal, called him arrogant and unfairly blamed him for the fall of sigu sect. FDB, the only person who LLH felt always treated him like a regular *human being*, whether it was LXY or LLH.

(source credit: forayuarchive's translation of the ep 27 original script on twitter, which has a flashback to the original ep 19 scene with the deleted line saying zhi jiao)

[melmedarda]

Can't stop thinking about the thoughts Mel must have had after waking up to an empty bed. She had just laid her heart bare, given her body to Jayce and to wake up the next morning alone?

When he returns to her, she tells him there's a lot he doesn't know about her. She'd shared such an intimate part of her the night before, but she doesn't want Jayce to feel like he knows her. Because if he thinks he knows her, he must have not considered her worthy of staying for. She likely thought that he had gotten what he wanted from her and cast her off.

And why should Mel think this? A woman who is so wealthy, so beautiful, so accomplished and powerful? Because her mother had seen her and cast her off. Her family had disowned her because she was not good enough in their estimation. So all those twelve years that she's been in exile, and her mother has not visited her or called her back to her side, Mel likely thought she was not good enough. All those twelve years, she was just a girl trying hard enough to be.

And then Jayce comes, bares his heart to her as well. Lets her see him in his weakness, in his uncertainty. Shows her how much he values her, wants her around, how highly he holds her opinion. Even when he knows. Perhaps, because he knows her heart. Values it and the compassion she holds within her. And she finally feels good enough.

Only for her mother to come, and tell her it's time to come back home, to be at her side. Only after her brother is dead. When there is no other choice. So yes, of course Mel chooses Jayce, Piltover, and the legacy of peace they've begun to forge. Her family disowned her. Now, she disowns them too.

[suranastair]

Kestrel "Kes" de Riva 🐦‍⬛

🟣 Age || 31 🟣 Lineage || Human 🟣 Pronouns || He/Him ~ Transgender 🟣 Identity || Gay 🟣 Class || Mage 🟣 Specialization(s) || Spellblade 🟣 Faction || The Antivan Crows 🟣 Romance || Lucanis 🟣 Besties || Neve & Emmrich 🟣 Frenemies || Davrin

[dennisboobs]

my favourite thing about the always sunny podcast is listening to rcg all say something extremely neurodivergent and then agree amongst themselves and convince themselves its completely normal

[tenebrius-excellium]

Thinking about Httyd...hot and perhaps too personal take: To me, Httyd was more than anything else a movie about emotional starvation. And Forbidden Friendship was the sweetest, briefest celebration of relief from that.

Afterwards, everybody basically told Hiccup to man up “because that’s just life” and I will never forgive Httyd2 and Httyd3 for that.

[texeoghea]

kamen rider really is a series about women. with obstacles. to me

[tiredtriedfailures]

since it fits the "love interest randomly undresses for tension purposes" trope people miss that scenes full meaning, Dong Eun undressing before Yeo Jeong. Shes baring her soul, choosing to. pretty obvious visual metaphor of opening up fully to him. It went beyond just telling him the story, when the words fail to convey the pain she undresses fully. its not the weaponized show of arms for Do Yeong, that was meant to distress and shake him. neither is it for manipulating him! she wasnt even hoping to gain anything from it! she had already given up on relying on him (using him, in her mind) because he had his own share of pain in his life. shes ONLY looking to be understood by him. to be seen. SHES surprised he answers as intensely as he does.

that scene is her biggest surrender and open admission of being fond of him without expecting any benefit. her most vulnerable and human moment, only possible through her trust and affection for him.

[lacunasbalustrade]

went to an interview today and some parts were very nice but one part that had me looking for beef was me saying 'some people find me intimidating because I like to read' and that if I got in, I was looking forward to meet people who intellectually challenge me, and the interviewer went 'oh but are you going to just read and ignore people?' and the other went 'how do you know the other participants will be what you hope what if other countries are ✨ less stringent ✨ than Singapore and don't have our selection processes' which is just so silly because 1. I read to listen to people who write, and obviously if an interesting person is in front of me I'd set aside the book, and if they're insecure in themselves why am I supposed to approach them? they just assumed right off the bat that I am stuck up, wrong, I just want to talk to people who are confident enough to hold a civil conversation without making me tone myself down for them, it's my greatest wish actually. 2. He's saying that Singapore is the literal best country and we're going there to represent the best?? we're there to internationalise why are you saying I shouldn't have high hopes for other people?? then why would I even want to go??? and the kids going there are way more amazing than me which I know firsthand from research and communication with them on the discord server u didn't even know about! I brought cookies to the interview!! why are you assuming that I am not socially adept and that I am shy simply because I don't like talking to Every Available Person Around??! lack of reading comprehension in these guys. I don't wanna be elitist or rude but it is a fact that there r ppl u can't get along w because they include u for the sake of inclusion which is absolutely insulting and then there are lovely beautiful people who are nonetheless scared by you and it's important not to freak them out by pouncing on them.

[phagodyke]

I have a quick question what do mirrored pronouns mean?

it means referring to someone with the same pronouns you'd use for yourself! imagine it like a mirror reflecting your pronouns back at you... thanks for asking :-)

[freak1demon69]

Im mad asf bc i remembered something genuinely stupid and actually its a question that should be asked. what is with the hex fandom and on insisting on roleplaying domestic abuse and borderline s/a the second they get the chance bc brother you people need different outlets to channel this stuff