#with a touch of vent I suppose

[indiestsnake]

woof. im like. actually emotionally tired tonight?? like mentally whooped. and uh. I think it’s from playing five hours straight of In Stars and Time.

spose the math checks out

cut cuz this got long, the post from here is just rambles

it makes sense for ISAT to do this, it was such a massive hit for a reason. but for me this is a lil weird. I’ve never had a game have such an… effect on me. like, pushing past the borders of healthy enjoyment effects. is this normal? do yall get this with media? Im usually pretty detached to the stories in games I play, I’ve- literally never cried over media. somehow. gotten watery at times but never shed a full tear. And im a pretty emotional person, but it’s just never happened. so im not exactly used to thinking about a story so intensely even after ive turned off the screen.

I’ve also never played a game that is this… brutal to its characters, to be fair. or character, rather. the first person dialogue certainly doesn’t help, and something about Siffrin and his reactions to things just sticks with me. plus I’m playing on my new pc instead of my switch, so that probably adds to it. bigger screen, and I’m up in my room instead of on the living room couch, so I’ve got a lot more room to emote and feel and immerse myself in the story.

tldr this game is uh. doing things to me. I really, really, really hope it gets better for Sif. part of me is scared it won’t. It probably will. but nonetheless.

happy to see such a big (in the indie game scene at least) game have such an effect on me. usually I find the big indie hits dont resonate as much as more niche things because. well. hits are hits because they do a lot to a lot of people, not because they do a loooooot to one specific person. but it seems I am a specific person this game was made for, so.

okay I think that’s all.

I’m gonna go to bed. read something fluffy and think about characters I like bein cozy. and. maybe praying that Siffrin somehow finds his way out of this hell. lol. Night, yall.

[niranutcake]

The... The compelling urge to write that x y/n fic with Mr Puzzles... To insert the two of them in every meme, pose reference, dialogue prompt and tiktok you saved in your gallery...

But the lack of time (and experience), dammit

Curse you, winter exams! Curse youuuuuuuuu!

[qcomicsy]

Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.

[sappho-favourite-pupil]

at some point i'll address [both on this blog and with my psychologist] the fact that i love the feeling of someone eating me out but i entered a thinking spiral that makes it impossible to let it happen. that's why i never post about it, because the thought makes me nauseous and sad instead of horny.

[tpup]

having such an absolute shit time which is horrible because I had put so much effort into making this week bareable only to be fuckin stranded in the worst place I could be rn because my health was so bad I couldn't leave i feel so fucking bad and helpless and fated to having to suffer over and over and over

[j-esbian]

i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of y’all act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.

that’s fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and don’t know any other way. like yeah i’ve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i don’t understand what i’m missing. and it’s frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like “uwu embrace weirdness!!” where they’re like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and can’t figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.

weirdness is value neutral. let’s stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, it’s not a choice for everyone. it’s fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and they’re going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. it’s difficult to talk about this without feeling like you’ll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining “no one understands me” but the thing is. sometimes you don’t grow out of feeling alone and different, and there’s no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think you’re just fishing for pity.

[transsexualraskolnikov]

my bisexual tendencies were kicking in (i’m ovulating) so i went on a date with a guy but all he talked about was his previous dates and sexual enterprises. unfortunately he had the hottest german porn moustache i have ever seen so i sat there for five hours and listened in his car while he smoked (yes, inside the car). then i asked him if he finds me attractive and he said he needs to get to know me better in order to say that, after which he went home and texted me he has a fever. it does not get better than this

[lovsome]

am i so hard to care about?

[rocking-freakshow]

I'd prepare a pomegranate for you, oranges as well. I'd be gentle and I'd smile when the juice hits your chin. I'd do it forever.

I don't hope that you'd do the same for me. I know I'd feel some weird sense of fear where I think you believe I'm incapable and I couldn't do it myself. I'd think you hated my hands as much as I did, and my arms and the little sights of blood that cover my body and all the strange looks I give myself throughout the day. I know you don't hate the hands that feed you or whatever phrase you'd create to reassure. I know you can't but, in short, tell me it's bad to hate my hands. Reassure me and my problems. Fucking be there, and maybe hold me through the night. Or cut my gloves for me (I wear gloves after I put on the medication so it stays there longer). Let me know you don't think I'm as disgusting as I think you do, or, as disgusting as I think I am.

[dragonji]

have to be honest guys its actually going Really Badly again.

[catboytenya]

butters is soooooo shiny rn

[squirrelno2]

Actually no it pisses me the fuck off when people are like "this is for kids we can't hold it to high narrative standards" yes the fuck we can??? That's when we should??? And that's definitely when we should examine the implications and impact of a work, not just the intent behind it or the surface level stuff, because it's for children. They do not have the critical thinking skills that adult readers (hopefully) have developed, they are learning, and they will absorb a fuck ton of learned behaviors from story without ever realising. You have to look at kids media like "this has to be that deep actually" because kids are going to listen! Adults tell stories! Adults are authority so story is authority! There's an entire Sondheim song about this!!! ("Careful the things you say, children will listen" anybody???)

Cressida Cowell is my favorite example of this because her How to Train Your Dragon books almost definitely Weren't That Deep to begin with. (With the caveat that I am not her and so cannot be sure.) The first few books were very much "haha funny dragons, isn't it fun they can talk" - and then you can kind of watch in realtime over the course of the books as she realised the implications of having an entire group of sentient beings with their own language and culture be regularly kidnapped as infants by people who keep them as pets/weapons/tools - and instead of asking her child readers not to look at that, to pretend it's not that bad, she turns around and asks us to look closer. To consider what all this means, that the characters we know and love who don't seem like bad people have also participated in this all along. There are no easy answers! It's absolutely stomach turning, and though she speaks simply to the child reader she never pulls her punches! I'm sure there are people who have issues with her execution and I'm not here to say it's perfect but god. That's how to handle children's media with unfortunate implications. Lean into it, don't tell the kids to ignore it. That's how they learn to ignore all the real world shit, they end up with so much practice.

Just because something is how it is doesn't mean it's not worth looking closer. Teach children that from the start. Don't shy away from your characters participating in fucked up systems just because you think they need to be the good guys. If they're going to be good, make them good, and make them deal with the fallout when they're not.

[binders-and-beanies]

Doin bad again folx

[hairenya]

I HATE discourse about makeup and plastic surgery. Like yes you all have very real feminist concerns and whatever but it’s my face, not yours, and if I want permanent eyeliner I will get it.

[catzgam3rz]

Love sensory overload at work it makes everything so much easier when the only thought you can have is *get me out get me out get me out*

[gently-decaying-flowers]

how am i going to wake up, go to school and pretend like nothing is wrong tomorrow?