#with a human family no one really understands her

[muffinsin]

Hi, hello muffin! So I was reading your long lost daughter hc’s for Cassandra (love them🙏). Since little child reader is like half human, half infected, do you think they would show more of Cassandra’s inhuman abilities as they grow older/ and or inherit Cassandra’s height?

Also Cassandra is def like one of those super over protective moms, like in the blink of an eye(for her), her little baby was not even a quarter of her height! And now they have the nerve to be nearly as tall, if not taller than her! It makes her a little bit miffled and upset, you were supposed to stay tiny forever! It’s just not fair in her opinion. And she absolutely does not want her baby dating! Doesn’t matter if they’re from the village or an outsider, she just doesn’t want you dating.

I have also come to the conclusion that cassandra is like those dads who say they don’t want a pet but ends up loving the pet. That bunny is probably spoilt rotten.

(Also can I be 🧸 anon if it’s not taken?)

🧸 anon is all yours, hon! :)

OG Post can be found here: https://www.tumblr.com/muffinsin/757434230111354880/ooh-muffin-muffin-i-just-got-this-idea-from

Let’s get into it! Sum thoughts below :)

I think they’d for sure grow to inherit some of Cassandra’s traits and abilities, which would really only be sharpened by their mama and aunts. I see especially Daniela playfully teaching them a lot of things and even helping them become faster in time, while Cassandra is sure to train her little one (all in due time, of course) to become a strong and cunning warrior, if only to rest easy knowing her child can protect itself.

Biologically speaking, I absolutely see them inheriting her strenght very early on and eagerly showing it off at every opportunity.

Oh, absolutely, hon! Cassandra is incredibly possessive of her little one (even when said little one is not so little anymore) and will not let anybody but her family come near, and perhaps a few friends after Bela spent hours rambling to her how important it is for one’s mental health to have friends. (Though she does not understand why the corpses in the cellar or animals don’t make for good friends..!)

Any lover is a complete no-go for her, really. She’ll scare all potential suitors off, insisting you will always be her little one and no one could possibly be worthy of you.

100%! For every annoyed growl she lets out when yet another pet is brought home, she forces a maid to make a little bed for it. She has to admit, they’re pretty cute, when she takes the time to get to play with the animal, rather than eat it.

[archivewriter1ont]

Shep-Centric Thoughts...

I'm plotting out a Shep-centric fic and I have come to the conclusion that this man is amazing, awesome, and doesn't get enough attention in the fandom.

Bullet points on why below...

One: His relationship with Phee.

Are they actually, biologically related? Was she instrumental in helping him and Lyana find Pabu, this safe place away from the Empire? Has she saved his and his daughter's life and now he feels like she's the greatest person ever? Was she a stray he found with a bullet wound in her side and a machete sword in her hand, snarling and snapping until he and Lyana "tamed" her? We don't know...but we're durn sure they're close and that for all anyone knows, they're family through and through.

Two: His willingness to accept Phee's friends.

Now, Phee might have called ahead to tell our friendly mayor that she was bringing friends, but even if she did Shep is so freaking welcoming. He doesn't ask how or why she came into sudden possession of three muscley ex-commandos and a smol danger child but you know what? He doesn't really care either. They're Phee's friends and so they're his friends, full stop.

Three: His eagerness to make the Batch feel accepted.

Throughout his scenes, Shep is going out of his way to make the Batchers feel safe and at home on Pabu. I ADORE that he seems to give extra attention to Hunter, who has the hardest time adjusting to a non-combat life and who is constantly on edge regarding the safety of those around him. Shep is also a leader in a way, so I feel like he understands a little of where Hunter is coming from, but because he's a normal human, he recognizes that Hunter's obsession with keeping what is left of his broken family together is breaking the sergeant. Because his accelerated life has been spent as an experimental soldier who may or may not see tomorrow and who must constantly be on guard, Hunter doesn't know how to be safe. He can't accept it because it goes against his very DNA. I think Shep clocks that and is trying to reassure the tracker that he can relax on Pabu - -that they're not threats, but also that Hunter and his brothers and sister are not a threat to the Pabuans, either.

Four: His insistence that they stay.

Shep isn't blind and I'm sure that little things reveal to him that the Batchers have all had very rough lives. Instead of pushing them away and being unwilling to take on their issues, Shep is completely sincere in wanting them to stay on Pabu, to build a new life for themselves despite what they've already been through.

When Wrecker says he's never full, what does that trigger in Shep's mind? I think he would instantly realize that these are survivors, but because he's around them, watching them, he also notices that just because they know how to survive doesn't know they know how to actually live. The Batchers are still adjusting to not being soldiers and now they're fugitives, castaways. Even before the war ended, they were experiments and viewed as canon fodder, created for a war that they didn't get to choose to fight. But more than pitying them, I think Shep would just be that much more eager to set their minds at ease and help them adapt to civilian life. That's certainly what he seems to be doing in the buildup to Season Three.

And now we just have some more pics because I love Shep so much.

[galaxymagitech]

cassandra cain for the character ask game? :0

For this ask game!

@birdiedoesdc asked for Cass too!

My first impression: Autism allegory. Also way too OP, she’d fix everyone’s problems.

My impression now: Wow, if the Batfamily ever acts like a cohesive nuclear family unit, that girl will develop Eldest Daughter Syndrome before you can even blink. Also, she is epic and human and I can empathize with her even though she’s not actually an autism allegory. Although I have to write her out sometimes because she would solve my fanfic’s central problem, I have to do that for everyone sometimes. And overall, Cass causes just as many interpersonal problems as she fixes.

Favorite thing about that character: She’s great at reading people and yet not too good at emotions. I think it emphasizes the plexiglass barrier between her and the world—she can see, but never quite touch.

Least favorite thing: Her brain was “fixed” by a telepath so she could understand language. And I get it, I do. Scientifically, Cass’s language deprivation was probably too severe for her to naturally learn spoken language in her late teens. Without some sort of magical intervention, she wouldn’t learn to speak, and that would make it difficult to narrate from her POV. But it still feels icky.

Favorite line/scene: Her stating she’s loyal to the Bat symbol, rather than Bruce. I think it emphasizes the clarity of her moral compass.

Favorite interaction that character has with another: Same as above.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: Dick Grayson. I think their views on love and empathy are very interesting to compare and contrast, and their fanon versions could bond over eldest daughter syndrome. Plus I think they both have a history of challenging and fighting Bruce that’s really interesting. And finally, they both have the expectation on their shoulders to be a better version of Batman—kinder, stronger, brighter. Perfect.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: Ava Orlova from Forever Red, which is an obscure Black Widow YA novel. Their personalities are nothing alike, but they have the backstory and vibes. El from Stranger Things for a character people are more likely to know.

A headcanon about that character: She has a very distinct but unplaceable accent when she speaks due to her lack of practice coordinating her mouth. Mostly because I have a slight mystery accent, and I think Cass should have one too.

A song that reminds of that character: People Watching by Conan Grey

An unpopular opinion about that character: Cass should be a Gordon, not a Wayne. Yes, she is a Bat, through and through. But I think civilian-wise, she should be attached to Barbara, not Bruce.

Favorite picture:

[gold-pavilion]

Belonging and humanity (some more Ivan thoughts)

There's a big difference between knowing for a fact that you're a human being and getting to FEEL part of humankind. That's a thing that I feel Ivan sorely lacked. Some of his issues can definitely be traced back to it.

There's three things we know for certain about Ivan's early childhood nowadays, so let me start from those:

There were other humans around him in the slums, at least other children (for now it doesn't seem there were adults around, or none who would approach or care for the children).

However, we also know Ivan did not learn social behavior properly; for example, how or when to smile.

Going by the lonely tone of the song Nowhere and its emphasis on having no one, plus the previous point, we can infer there was no meaningful social contact with any people he knew/saw.

Ivan has been described as someone who is always learning to survive and his time in the slums must've been the same, after all; it's most likely that the other kids were competition to him (for food or other resources), threats or simply strangers with whom connections were never made.

That's to say, there were humans around Ivan but no "human community".

And that's the thing: take someone who went through a critical developmental stage with no one to care for or be cared by, learn social behavior with or practice the emotional exercises of understanding and empathy - ask that someone what "being a part of humankind" feels like, and what can he even make of it? It must not mean much more than categorizing a species, no feeling involved. And anyway, what difference does it make if there's anything else to say or not?

It's not like those are easy questions. None of the ALNST cast, with all their limitations, would be able to respond comprehensively.

But it changes things, the differences are there.

There are things that Till knows, from having a mother, learning from her and being enriched emotionally by their interaction, that I don't think he could describe but certainly has within him. Or Hyuna, who had a brother to feel that family bond and sense of community with, learning all sorts of positive social skills and having a heart full of room for empathy as she always looked out for the little Other Person next to her.

Beyond knowing their species, they know what it MEANS to be the rare and amazing human creature from these experiences of connecting, teaching, being taught, holding things in common, giving and receiving love. On an instinctual level they accessed what it feels like to be "part of humankind", which is so cool about them!!

Then you have cases like Mizi being too trusting of aliens because she was raised to feel community with one, Sua being mostly withdrawn because she didn't have a lot of warmth and community around her, Luka who was deprived of everything and then clung too hard to his first proper bond...

And Ivan, with his empty circumstances. There are a million things Ivan didn't learn and doesn't KNOW he lacked.

Of course that with his background he'd end up 1: being defensive by nature, having selfish tendencies, trouble processing emotion and socially weird habits and 2: feeling like a twisted being because of it, which is such a core aspect of his character. A human with less humanity but no idea why or how.

He adapted himself a lot once adopted, of course, and caught up an even bigger lot in his time in Anakt Garden. But I don't think he ever understood why he was "more twisted than others" and honestly, his intelligence and observance doesn't do him any favors on that front; on the contrary, I think it made him more aware of the gaps between him and other people.

And I really have to wonder if his experiences around the segyein are all that different, emotionally speaking.

I mean, of course objectively they have to be, but… his adopted life was a matter of observing his new environment, feeling like an absolute stranger because he's another species, but learning and adapting as quickly as possible in order to make himself a desirable pet that would be kept around. His experience being sent to Anakt and put in a human group was, again, feeling like a stranger because he's different to others of his own species, but learning and adapting as quickly as possible, eventually making himself an "acceptable", charming, absolutely cagey but near-perfect man. He succeeded both times.

He never did get rid of that awareness of being "twisted", though. After all, he also didn't unlearn all his survival patterns or fix the weak spots in his emotional development. As much as he progressed, the sense of not quite belonging and the faint relationship with his own humanity stayed. (With one big exception, but I'll leave that thought for the end of this ramble.)

In a way, I feel like this is exactly what made him so successful in segyein society as far as he lived. So adaptable that beyond being a good pet, he could also be trusted with and hold down an actual job, decent (faked or not, still good) relationships with segyein and, if he had any chance of survival, probably the capacity to live in their society with moderate perks.

Being an adaptable stranger who belonged nowhere in the first place… I think it's what made him more willing, more capable and more okay with mixing with the segyein like that, paired with his intelligence to pull it off.

No human pride to sacrifice. Not much humanity in the first place.

Except for the one noteworthy exception that shifted Ivan's growth: his relationship with Till.

Not only did Till embody things that Ivan lacked, which fascinated him from the start, but through his bond with him Ivan developed a lot of those traits and sensitivities that constitute peak humanity. It's a bit of the "love will make you human" trope, but on god does it apply. Ivan learned to care, to feel and to love, at times selfishly, at times messily. Buth he got pretty good at it; so much that love made him selfless and sacrificial in the end. He became a little more human for the object of his feelings. It didn't't erase all his struggles or fix his issues at large, but it was a lot. Of course he'd die thanking Till.

Anyway, that's all I wanted to get off my chest!

Humanity is a tough theme with Ivan, so I hope my thoughts about it were an interesting read.

The usual disclaimer: I've talked about 1 aspect of Ivan in this post, which does not mean this is all there is to his character or that I aim to invalidate other aspects. Just rotating this one in my head.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

snap's uber cringe vampire cherik rambling !!!!!! read at your own risk of charles/erik origins But If They Were Vampires and more !!!!

very simple makeshift vampire age map for the sake of understanding this vague timeline i have (hint: just multiply by ten) this is all subject to change because time is mean and im indecisive

infancy - 0 - 40

childhood - 50 - 120 years

adolescence - 130 - 170 years

emerging adulthood - 180 - 240 years

older adulthood - +250 years

elderly - +700 years

about dhampirs: they're not immortal like vampires, they just have a (much) longer life expectancy than humans (they really are just like 'weaker' vampires in this, only possessing half of their strengths and weaknesses)

'what's our time period' EXCELLENT question brother.

jk i think the main events will be set victorian-edwardian period (1850's-1910's) but charles and erik are at least a couple centuries old- probably born amidst the late 1500's (1580's-90's more specifically), maybe meet during the 1800's

charles' profile

charles heralds from a wealthy vampire family whos had their influence in england for centuries (maybe established roots during the 5th century), the general public none the wiser to their vampirism. at most there's rumors, but the family's charismatic enough to keep the murmurs at bay

brian is like. a little less evil to charles in this timeline. most of their time together being brian teaching charles how to run the family's business and whatever else vampires do to balance the life of a vampire and a human. at most, brian emotionally neglects charles as he stays vigilant in ensuring the xavier family can prosper for centuries. sharon xavier would be the one to instill all that is good and human in charles despite her own vampirism (most likely turned by brian before they had charles)

brian xavier is murdered by human kurt marko once the latter figures out his vampirism right before europe's widespread vampire hysteria (so maybe late 1600's)- not for any heroic purposes but so he can steal the xavier family's wealth of course.

he holds the xavier's vampiric origins over them until his eventual death (maybe early 1700's).

considering the idea charles' accidentally summons a pack of wolves to the house during a heated moment and they tear him apart- maybe kurt tries to protect cain and charles idk. charles wouldn't realize he caused this until much later while learning about his vampirism, BUT im still chewing on this so don't take this as 100% canon to this au.....

kurt never discloses the true nature of the xaviers to cain while he's alive, but as the boys grow older cain figures it out for himself and decides to dedicate his life to hunting down charles- how much of it is to rid the world of one less vampire or to vent the unhappiness he experienced growing up in the xavier household onto his brother is unclear

while kurt was alive, he experiments on charles in an attempt to understand his vampirism in an attempt to achieve eternal life without the drawbacks of vampirism. but i mean how good can your science be: evidently he fails vjELKJALKJ

as an adult, charles is curious about his own vampirism as he attempts to live amongst humans and perhaps help them (maybe not give them eternal life but at least how to extend life). he doesn't seek to 'cure' himself, only figure out how his biology works to live comfortably and safely: after all, there must be a reason as to why he was born this way, he reasons

he pursues a life of medicine to do this and along the way meets moira mctaggart (around late 1700's/early-1800's), a scientist working closely with the occult and isolated from general society. after some time, he reveals he's a vampire to her and they effectively become partners to further understand vampirism (but not romantic partners)

most of their work concerns why vampires 'need blood' and how to find a suitable substitute ('surely it's not blood itself that satiates vampires but a property within it?'), but they also look to find out why vampires can be weak in the sunlight and why they appear immortal (aka: they're purely scientific in their approach to the vampire phenomena instead of thinking it's magical, charles reasoning that vampires are just humans with a type of evolved biology. time will tell if he's right or wrong in this approach, and brother he has plenty of time)

erik's/max's profile

compared to the house of xavier, the house of eisenhardt- while not as wealthy- still maintained some sort of reputation in east prussia. however, the news of their vampirism easier leaks amidst the mid-1700's heightened paranoia of vampires (probably a domino affect of the rumor of Renowned Xaiver Family being one of vampires expanding after kurt's death), and he finds himself to be the only survivor amidst the violence against his family

fleeing further east and with the benefit of his youthful visage despite his real years, max has no problem using his intelligence and experience to find work to support himself and manages life alone until he eventually meets magda (maybe around the same time charles meets moira, 1790's). with her being human, it isn't long until she and max introduce little dhampir anya into the world

he tells magda of his vampiric origins (after all, if they were going to have a baby it'd prob be best to let her know the baby's gonna be part vampire right..), but whether it's disbelief or not fully grasping the implications of such, magda accepts and loves him. max vows never to feed off his wife, mostly feeding off hunted animals to satisfy himself

for a while, max was content to live in relative solitude with his family: he wouldn't bother the humans, and in turn they shouldn't bother him. but soon enough (talking Ten Years Later soon enough), the true nature of max and his family is uncovered in the quaint town they lived in, and history threatens to repeat itself as a growing mob attempts to torch their home. they can't succeed before max makes a bloody example of the mob- a display that frightens magda and has her flee with anya in her arms. that would be the last time max sees his wife and child. he effectively repurposes the site of where he lost his family as a quaint memorial to them and the grounds remain relatively untouched bar his annual visits (the common people more often rumoring it to be cursed as a result)

max would change his name to 'erik lehnsherr' as a way to bury his past and move on with his new, less-human-sympathetic life. uttering his real name weakens his power if not strips them away for some time entirely, so he's greatly secretive to who he tells it to (spoilers: he never tells anyone). he spends most of his time alone in his castle, going out at night to feed off late-night wanderers in nearby cities

as for wanda and pietro, debating on exactly what to do with them and if they're blood related to erik or not. considering having pietro be a dhampir that maintained his superspeed while wanda's still just a witch. not sure what to do about lorna either. at the very least, if they do live with erik, he's greatly protective and overbearing about them (a possible blend of keeping them close to use their might against humans, and not wanting to lose any more of his family)

The Part People Are Here For charles and erik interacting

How Do They Meet wow great questions today !!!

around 1810's, probably during one of erik's Feeding Nights he bumps into charles and attempts to make dinner of him, charles at this point passing far too easily as a regular human. the ensuing encounter/fight eventually leads to charles having to reveal himself also to be a vampire (probably as a result of having to resort to using telepathy to keep erik at bay and thereafter explaining himself)

despite the rocky start, neither can hide the fact they're ecstatic about meeting another vampire and become fast friends. Yknow. After overlooking the Sorry I Tried To Eat You part

so now charles spends his mornings with moira and his humanly duties and at night he sometimes spends time at erik's abode and with his children (if i decide they live with him of course).

moira can't ignore the way charles lights up when talking about erik (and how could she: even if he was candid with her about his experiences, it was an entirely different feeling talking to another vampire who already understood- and perhaps understood better). as such, she doesn't let charles forget erik could potentially be a danger- something charles can't forget if he wanted to (see again: them meeting the first time. still, he chooses to believe in the better parts of erik)

of course charles tries to dissuade erik from seeing humans as purely food or menaces and encourages him to work alongside himself to find more 'ethical' ways to be a vampire, but of course erik is resistant to the idea and at times admonishes charles for his thinking.

Everyone's Favorite Part: The Divorce

for a while- maybe five years- erik isn't aware of moira's existence. but on a night charles neglects to visit him he spots the pair walking to moira's home. following them, he's quick to discover moira's lab and realizes charles has been cooperating with a human this whole time (how much had he told her about erik? how much of their weaknesses did he expose to her? why wouldn't he tell erik about moira sooner if she wouldn't be an issue?)

enraged, erik doesn't wait for an explanation as he barges into the small shack and barks accusations of betrayal at charles. it only gets worse when moira is puzzled that charles didn't tell erik about her when he was more than happy to tell her about erik, only reaffirming erik's suspicions charles was attempting to doom vampires as a whole

what happens next im still up in the air about, but it'll be how charles loses the use of his legs in this universe

scenario a is while erik and charles brawl in moira's shack, she hurls holy water onto erik and disfigures his face. while he's down, she attempts to throw more holy water on him to at least give her and charles more time to escape only for charles to shield him at the final moment. while he's mostly unharmed, his legs get burnt as he pushes erik out of the way and finds he isn't able to regenerate the damaged limbs

scenario b is moira still gets erik with the holy water, however charles drags them out of the shack and tries to break for the nearest town. unfortunately, during their escape erik finds one of moira's silver-tipped crossbows (or something to that affect: still deciding if he should have control over magnetism in this but Details Details) and shoots charles in the spine ultimate style. going off the myth silver is Not Good for all 'unholy' and dead creatures of course, charles' nervous system isn't properly able to regenerate for Above Mentioned Reasons (his body's so 'dead' the antibacterial properties of silver eat away at him). the cruel irony of it all really (or silvery... heh.. metal...)

as a result of being burned by the holy water, erik would wear his helmet more often- at least until he feeds off enough humans to regenerate the damaged tissue (note: only human blood can restore holy-artifact-induced wounds, which means charles won't regain the use of his legs because of his refusal to consume human blood)

either way, once she and charles escape erik and relocate, moira stays with him for some time- at least long enough for charles to get used to his new way of life without his legs and figure out what they should do next, maybe two-three years. eventually, charles and moira agree it might be safer to work apart from each other and effectively split. probably leads to charles moving to america to keep an eye on vampires on the other side of the globe while moira keeps an eye on europe

after the encounter with moira and charles, erik becomes more active and now seeks out other vampires (or humans to turn into vampires), fully intending on converting the world to become a vampire's (and hell why not monsters in general) paradise

Things to iron out

the difference between animal and human blood

Whats the benefit to drinking human blood: is it tastier? More nutritious? Evidently its restorative properties are more potent for vampires than animal blood

Maybe more animal blood is needed to supplement human blood (i.e. one human may need the blood of- say- five pigs or something yk what i mean)

Maybe its possible for a vampire to live off animals only, it’d just be more difficult and they might not be as physically strong as vampires who feed off humans

Would they eventually cave into craving human blood? Is it a conscious effort to Not feed off humans? Curious….

Perhaps moira tests the effects of human vs animal blood on charles, offering blood from her arm both directly from her and extracted first to then drink. He cant argue its wrong if she’s offering for science no…. Its For Science Charles its ok…

Another thing i want to solidify is time period: on one hand i wanna do this modern-ish period but im also thinkin bout the 14th century…. Shrug i still have a lot of finer details In General ill work out with myself. For now it’ll prob remain around 1700’s-1900’s

A final minor thing i wanna work on is erik’s ‘real’ name and his name situation in general, mostly how magda knew him. Maybe changes his name to ‘erik lehnsherr’ after the eisenhardt incident, and goes by ‘magnus’ after magda, her knowing him as ‘erik’ while charles mostly knows him as ‘magnus’. ‘Count magnus’…. Hm…. Dunno if i wanna reintroduce ‘magneto’ into this or not …… ill figure it out at some point …

Perhaps other vampires and dhampirs saying his real name doesn’t negatively affect him and it’s strictly only if humans/non-vampires say it

[skadee17]

The Wrath of Rome

PART1, PART 2,PART3,PART4

PART5

pairing: Emperor Geta x F!OC x Lucius

summary: Adona, was once promised to Lucius, son of Lucilla. But when Lucius disappeared, presumed dead, Adona’s future was sealed. Forced into a marriage with Emperor Geta to secure her survival, she struggles to find meaning in a world where her own desires and dreams are crushed by Rome’s brutal power. With no family left but Lucilla and Acacius, Adona must navigate the ruthless politics of the empire while facing her uncertain future.

word count: around 4200

warnings/notes: 18+, unprotected sex, domination, first-time, kind of forced sex but not really (at the beginning but turns into concensual) love hate relationship trope, slow burn, angst,mention of child abandonment, mention of death, loss, forced marriage,

The days stretched on, marking the passage of time without ever really dispelling the tension that hung between Adona and Geta. Their initial hostility had transformed into something more complex, more intimate. They continued to clash, through intense glances, words laden with subtext, but now there were silences that spoke louder than their disputes.Their marriage was not one of obvious love, but it had become something else: a fragile balance between distrust and tenderness.The first time Geta stayed until dawn, Adona woke in the warmth of his arms, surprised by the peace she found there. It wasn’t premeditated, nor was it weakness, still less a political manoeuvre. Just a shared weariness, a silent need for comfort in a world where each person had to always be ready to strike first.They never said it aloud. They would never admit it. But some nights, it wasn’t only loneliness they were fighting.Adona, whether she liked it or not, had started to see something else in Geta’s eyes. It was no longer just the gaze of an Emperor watching her with demands or anger. No. There was a tender gleam in his eyes now, a mixture of irritation and concern that didn’t easily fade. Despite everything, Geta seemed more attentive, more human. Adona, for her part, felt herself increasingly entangled in an invisible web she couldn’t untangle.She had never tried to get close to him. She didn’t need to. She knew that the Empire, power, and intrigue were at the heart of his concerns. But with each meeting, each silent conversation where their eyes met, she felt something stronger settling in. A small throb in her chest she didn’t immediately understand. An impulse, an attraction, even though she refused to admit it. She had never thought she could feel that for the man who had given her a crown but also a gilded cage.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Nights When Everything Changes

One evening, after a tense night in the great hall of the palace, a strange silence fell between them. It didn’t have the coldness of other nights, where words were weapons. No, this one was different. It was charged with implicit tension, a kind of unspoken expectation.It was Geta, as always, who broke the silence, his voice low, almost hesitant.— Why are you silent, Adona?She slowly turned her head towards him. Her heart tightened, but she didn’t immediately reply. Her gaze wandered to the shadows dancing on the ceiling, and for the first time in a long time, she surprised herself by wanting to share her thoughts with him. To offer him something more than barbs or defiant gestures. But she also knew it was dangerous to expose her weaknesses.— And you, Geta? she replied softly.He stood up slowly, crossing the room without really knowing where he was going. Then he stopped right in front of her. There was a certain tension in the air, a kind of unease, as if they both were aware of what was happening between them without wanting to admit it. Geta stared at her intensely, and for a moment, he seemed to hesitate before asking a question he had never dared to ask.

" Do you hate me, Adona?It wasn’t the question of an Emperor, but of a lost man, seeking an answer to a feeling he dared not understand. She raised her head, her eyes shining with a soft glow, and a barely perceptible smile appeared on her lips.— "No, I don’t hate you, Geta. Not as I would hate an enemy. But sometimes… you are everything I can’t understand.He moved closer to her, one step, two, until he was right beside her. This closeness wasn’t accidental. It was like a kind of silent rapprochement. He stayed there for a moment, observing her face, noting every detail as if trying to unravel a mystery, to understand what lay behind the unspoken words. And Adona, too, found herself staring at him, this time without the hostility she had always felt, but with a deeper curiosity.And then, there was Caracalla.He didn’t interfere between them with hidden intentions. He sought her out for other reasons, finding in her a rare presence, an ear that was neither submissive nor falsely admiring. Adona had never imagined becoming this for him: a confidante, an outlet. And yet, there she was, listening to what few dared to hear.

“You know, Adona, you’ve become much more amusing since your marriage,” he said one evening, lounging casually on the cushions in his chambers, a cup of wine in hand.Geta was there too, sitting beside her, idly playing with a strand of her hair, though his gaze betrayed a certain watchfulness.

“Or perhaps it’s the two of you who’ve become more bearable,” she replied, raising an eyebrow slightly.

Caracalla burst out laughing, a rare, unforced laugh.These moments of lightness were precious. A fragile illusion where the tensions of the Empire seemed distant, where betrayals and intrigues no longer carried weight. Yet, they always came back, like a shadow that relentlessly followed them.On nights when Geta didn’t come, Caracalla sometimes appeared, silently, his gaze lost in the dancing flames of the brazier. He didn’t always speak. Sometimes, he simply sat there, cross-legged on the floor, arms folded across his knees, as though Adona’s mere presence was enough to calm an invisible turmoil.One night, she had watched him longer than usual before breaking the silence

“You’re very quiet tonight.”He shrugged, a fleeting smile brushing his lips.

“You know, there’s something… different about you, these past few months,” he murmured, breaking the silence.

Adona looked up at him, but he didn’t seem to be looking for a response. He seemed more serious, less inclined to play his role as the teasing brother.“Is that bad?” she asked with a lightness that betrayed the underlying intensity of the question.Caracalla shrugged, still caught in his contradictions.“No. But you seem less tired. Less… trapped.”She smiled gently. He had never been wrong.In this world, where everything was power, suspicion, and pretense, she had understood one thing: it wasn’t her status as Empress that made her important in their eyes. It wasn’t even her beauty, although neither Geta nor Caracalla were indifferent to it.It was something else.She had become an anchor in their respective storms. And perhaps she too found something in them that she couldn’t name.But Rome was not a city that allowed for softness.

_____________________________________

Reunions and Memories

The sun was still low on the horizon when Adona quietly entered Lucilla’s chambers. The scent of lavender and wax lingered in the air, filling the room with a familiar warmth. Lucilla, sitting by a small table, looked up as she heard Adona’s soft footsteps. For a moment, her face relaxed, but the worried gleam she had carried since Adona became Empress didn’t completely fade.

“You’ve come early,” Lucilla murmured, gesturing for Adona to sit.Adona closed the door behind her and sat down across from her friend. A silence stretched between them, peaceful but heavy with unspoken thoughts.Then Adona exhaled gently, her fingers brushing the rim of a cup of herbal tea that Lucilla had just handed her.

“It’s today.”Lucilla didn’t ask any questions. She didn’t need to. She knew exactly what Adona was referring to.Lucius.Today would have been his birthday.Lucilla looked away, her hands tightening on the fabric of her dress. She had never forgotten, and she knew Adona hadn’t either.Lucilla turned her gaze to the city awakening outside the window. She hadn’t forgotten. She would never forget. A faint, almost imperceptible laugh escaped her, trembling under the weight of nostalgia.

“I remember…” she said softly, her eyes lost in a long-gone past.Adona looked up at her.

“Of what?”Lucilla smiled tenderly, as though, for a moment, she was reliving those carefree days.

“Of the way he followed you everywhere.”Adona lowered her head slightly, a sad smile forming on her lips.

“He never wanted to leave me alone…”Lucilla nodded.

“I remember the two of you in the gardens. He always wanted to play with you, challenge you in races or imaginary duels. He said no one could catch him, and yet, you always did.”Adona let out a soft laugh.“I pretended to chase him slowly, so he’d think he could outrun me. But in the end, I always caught him. He laughed so much…”Lucilla placed a hand on her arm.“He adored you, Adona.”A silence settled between them, heavier this time.Then Lucilla spoke again, a tender smile at the corner of her lips:

“Do you remember what he used to say?”Adona looked up, intrigued.Lucilla let out a small laugh.

“He used to say he’d marry you one day.”Adona blinked, surprised by this buried memory

.“Oh…”Lucilla nodded.“He was convinced you would be husband and wife. He said you were the most beautiful, the strongest. He often came to ask me if you would accept.”Adona felt her heart tighten.

“And what did you tell him?”Lucilla smiled gently.“That you were far too stubborn to accept a proposal so soon. And that made him laugh, because he said he would convince you one day.”A silence fell. But this time, it was filled with a soft, poignant warmth.Adona took a deep breath.“We were so young… so innocent.”Lucilla nodded.

“Yes. And he loved you.”Adona fixed her gaze on an invisible point on the table.

“I loved him too.”

She had never known how much she would miss these memories. But today, in this moment, she allowed Lucius’s memory to fill her, unrestrained.Lucilla placed her hand over hers, a silent gesture of comfort.

“He would have wanted you to be happy.”Adona closed her eyes. Happy. She didn’t know if she could be truly happy. But she knew Lucius still lived, somewhere inside her.And today, she wanted to honour his memory.Lucilla squeezed her hand a little tighter.

“Will you stay long?” she asked softly.Adona looked up, and this time, a different light shone in her eyes.

“Not long enough.”But today, for the first time, she wasn’t running from her past.She was embracing it.She rested her head against Lucilla’s lap, and the two women gazed at the sky.

_____________________________________

The Return of Acacius

The air burned with excitement and golden dust under the blazing Roman sun. The streets were packed with people, the rooftops covered in citizens eager to catch a glimpse of the returning victorious general. Flower petals swirled in the wind, spreading a sweet fragrance that mixed with the summer heat."Acacius! Acacius! Acacius!"But soon, another name joined his, shouted with equal fervor, vibrating the air between the marble columns of the palace."Adona! Adona! Our Empress!"On the steps of the imperial palace, Geta and Caracalla observed the scene in silence, standing stiffly, their only expression a subtle appreciation of the spectacle. But between them, Adona felt her heart beat differently.She was no longer just an imperial wife, a silent woman trapped in a gilded cage. Since her marriage, she had conquered Rome in a completely different way. She had listened to the people when others had paid only distracted attention. She had descended from the steps of power to hear the complaints of the citizens, to visit the poorest districts, to ensure that the Empire would not forget those who were its foundation.And today, Rome was not forgetting her.Draped in a white toga embroidered with golden threads, her diadem gleaming like a star under the sun, she watched the procession slowly advance. But her gaze sought only one figure.And then, finally, she saw him.

Acacius.

Tall and imposing, his armor marked with the victories of Namibia, the dust of his journey still clinging to his boots. His face bore the marks of exhaustion, but also of quiet satisfaction. He had returned.And as soon as he met her gaze, he knew.Without hesitation, Adona left her place between Geta and Caracalla.The movement did not go unnoticed. Whispers immediately spread among the senators and nobles assembled. It was rare—unthinkable, even—that an Empress would be the first to greet a general returning from a campaign.But she didn’t care.She descended the steps slowly, letting her toga flow over the marble like a stream of light. The crowd held its breath when she stopped in front of Acacius.He didn’t move, scrutinizing her with his piercing gaze, as if ensuring she was real, that she wasn’t just an illusion born from fatigue.—

You’ve finally returned, she whispered.A tired, sincere smile spread across Acacius’ lips.—

And you’ve become the ruler Rome was waiting for.The words struck her more than she had expected. They carried the weight of years, of trials, of absence.

_______________________________________

The smell of dust and sweat hung in the heavy air, mixed with the roar of the impatient crowd. The people had gathered within the Colosseum, shouting cheers that reverberated against the marble walls. Adona, silent, watched the scene with apparent calm. Beside her, the two emperors sat, their imposing presence, their gazes piercing the crowd with authority. Geta on one side, his gaze as cold as stone, and Caracalla, ever effervescent, seemed to devour the entire spectacle with his eyes.Adona stood between them, the gladiators waiting in the wings, ready to enter the arena. The tension in the air was palpable, but Adona paid no attention to the sounds around her. She knew it was all just entertainment for the people. What troubled her was the fact that her thoughts wandered back to the past, to the memories of games long gone, to the time when she was a child and Lucius’ laughter still illuminated her life.On the other side of the arena, Hanno stood, ready to enter, the gladiators lined up behind him. He looked through the large door that separated the wings from the arena, observing the spectacle before the fight began. His gaze first fell upon Lucilla, his mother, whom he recognised instantly, but before he could turn away, something caught his attention.A figure stood out among the imperial box.

Adona.

Her gaze, precise and deep, seemed to pierce the space between them, catching him in its breath. Hanno stood frozen, as if hypnotised. He looked at her, dazzled by her beauty, as if he knew her, as if a part of him had always been waiting for her. Her eyes, a captivating blue, locked with his, filled with emotions he couldn’t understand, a reflection of something lost, something past, yet deeply present. When the gladiators emerged, Adona’s heart raced. A gladiator named Hanno was staring at her. Those eyes... They reminded her of a distant memory, almost erased. A memory of Lucius. The deep blue, almost identical to the colour of her lost love. Her breath caught for a moment, a feeling of dizziness swept through her. It was as if fate were confronting her with something unresolved, with a page of the past she had never been able to close.Time seemed to stop, but the noise of the crowds around them suddenly snapped her back to reality. The arena gates slammed shut with a deafening noise, marking the beginning of the games. The gladiators, one by one, rushed into the arena under the crowd’s cheers. Hanno turned on his heel and moved away, preparing to enter the circle of violence.A deep roar was heard as the scene took a more dramatic turn. One of the gladiators, armed with sword and shield, had to face a soldier in armour, riding a huge rhinoceros. The animal, massive and powerful, bellowed frighteningly. Its thick hide and imposing stature made the fight even more perilous.

The noise of the combat, the hooves striking the ground and the clash of weapons, now resounded through the arena. The crowd jumped to their feet, cheering for the gladiators, while Adona and Hanno’s eyes met once again, just before the chaos unfolded.Adona felt a strange disturbance inside her, as if the sight of Hanno, and this resemblance to Lucius, had awakened something ancient, a pain she thought she had forgotten, but which resurfaced in a new form.The battle raged on in the arena. The gladiators fought with impressive brutality, but the eyes of the spectators, including Adona’s, were fixed on Hanno. He fought with a cold ease, his movements precise, calculated, almost as though he knew every part of the human body, every vulnerable point. But it wasn’t this that caught the crowd’s attention. It was a gesture of his, a gesture that evoked the memory of another, a legendary gladiator—Maximus.As the rhinoceros leapt, its broken horns charging towards him, Hanno didn’t attempt to defend in the usual way. He drove his sword into the sand of the arena, a swift movement but one filled with an indescribable determination. With a sharp motion, he let his gaze fall to the ground, and in one fluid movement, he grabbed a handful of burning sand, cold beneath his fingers but symbolic of the moment. The crowd fell silent, curious, a palpable tension in the air. Adona turned slightly towards Lucilla, she knew of only one person who had made that gesture—Maximus. Her stomach twisted at the thought that this “Hanno” might actually be someone she had known well.

He raised his hand, and in a theatrical yet controlled movement, he threw the sand into the air, as if using it to veil his figure. The grains lifted in a mist that seemed almost magical, forming a cloud of dust that filled the arena in an instant. In this sudden smoke, Hanno blended in, almost disappearing from the view of the crowd and the soldier on the rhinoceros. The rhinoceros charged at Hanno, but he stepped aside at the last moment, and the animal collided with the Colosseum wall, leaving all the spectators stunned and shocked.Adona, a shiver running through her body, let out an involuntary gasp of fear, her gaze fixed on the scene. The tension was palpable, and the situation was taking a turn no one could have anticipated. Caracalla and Geta, their eyes scanning intently, both hurried to the front of the box to observe the fight up close. The gladiators continued to move with speed and precision, but the majesty of the rhinoceros, now disoriented and enraged, added an air of uncertainty.Meanwhile, Adona’s eyes never left Hanno, and her heart raced faster than ever. There was an intensity in his movements, a determination in the way he defended himself that felt familiar. A chill of recognition washed over her as memories of Lucius resurfaced, but she shook her head, trying to push those thoughts away. Hanno was not Lucius, and yet, a strange connection seemed to form between them in this moment of action.

“Could it be the poet from the other night, my brother?” Geta asked suddenly, his eyes focused on Hanno’s agility.Caracalla, arms crossed, turned to him with a cryptic smile, though his gaze was still filled with curiosity.

“I don’t remember, that night is very vague,” Caracalla replied, sitting back down, a faint laugh in his voice despite the palpable tension in the arena.Adona turned her gaze towards him, not immediately understanding what they were talking about. She had heard this conversation before, but it seemed so distant from the present moment, so unclear.

“The poet?” she asked, intrigued.Geta, still focused on the action, slowly recited the words he seemed to have memorised.

“The gates of hell are open, night and day, smooth is the descent...” He paused for a moment, as if trying to recall the rest of the phrase, before continuing in a more solemn tone. “I’ve forgotten... swift is the descent...”Lucilla, silent up until then, spoke in a low, almost melancholic voice, repeating her husband’s words.

“Smooth is the descent, easy is the way...”

The words echoed in the air, like an incantation from another time, a murmur of the past that seemed as elusive as mist. But in the arena, the fight continued to rage. Hanno, having dodged the rhinoceros, now faced the soldier with formidable vigour. His movements were of surgical precision, each one more assured than the last. The spectators were hanging on the outcome of this battle.Adona, growing discomfort in her chest, briefly turned her eyes away. The repetition of the poem she had heard the night before, between dreams and reality, resonated within her with strange force. This link between Hanno and the poem troubled her deeply, as did the intensity of the fight.When Hanno was knocked to the ground by the soldier, a heavy silence fell over the arena. The crowd, hanging on every movement, awaited the decision, the crucial moment that would determine the gladiator’s life or death. The cheers began, but they were tinged with hesitation, as if the people themselves could feel the tension in the air.Adona, sitting between the two emperors, couldn’t take her eyes off the young gladiator. A cold shiver ran through her as she watched Hanno, lying on the ground, covered in blood, yet still ready to rise. Her heart pounded in her chest, but it wasn’t just the violence of the fight that affected her. No, it was something else, a strange feeling twisting her insides.

She found herself searching for signs, for clues, for fragments of a bygone era. Hanno’s eyes, deep and piercing, seemed familiar, almost frightening in their intensity. Something about his gaze unsettled her, a pain she thought she recognised, a memory she couldn’t quite grasp. She didn’t dare believe it, but a twisted thought slowly made its way into her mind. What if this man... this man was the same as Lucius?Her hands gripped the armrests of her seat, and a growing discomfort took hold of her. She turned her eyes away, but the sensation persisted, more insistent, like an unspoken truth. It wasn’t the first time she’d encountered such eyes, but this gaze... This gaze was no longer Lucius’ gaze. It was impossible. Lucius was dead, buried beneath the dust of Rome. And yet...Geta, watching the scene closely, noticed the change in Adona’s behaviour. He had seen that glimmer of uncertainty in her eyes, that fragility she tried to hide. He didn’t understand what troubled her, but he sensed something was wrong. An unease that had been present since the fight began.

“Adona... life or death?” Geta asked, his voice sharp, yet tinged with an almost imperceptible curiosity.She hesitated for only a moment. Her thoughts were in turmoil, but the decision was clear. Even amidst the horror of these blood games, she wasn’t ready to turn her back on this gladiator’s humanity, on what he represented. Perhaps he had made a choice in coming here, perhaps he had accepted his fate, but she couldn’t condone death without thought.“Life,” she answered, her voice lower than she would have liked, a shiver of anxiety accompanying her words.

Geta, with a swift gesture, gave a thumbs-up, his sly smile stretching his lips. The crowd erupted in joy, cheering the decision. But Hanno, teeth clenched, fury in his eyes, did not accept the mercy.“No mercy!” he shouted, his voice broken by pain and pride.Geta looked at him, amused by the gladiator’s resistance, but he didn’t lose his composure. “Your life has been spared by the gods,” he replied with a mocking tone.“Rather face the blade of your sword than accept that a Roman spares me!” Hanno spat, a challenge thrown, a glimmer of heroism igniting in his eyes.The silence fell for a moment, suspended by these words. Then, in a movement as swift as it was fatal, Hanno rose and, in a final act of bravery, drove his sword into his opponent’s body. The head rolled in the sand, splattering the arena with warm blood that shimmered under the scorching sun.The crowd, after a brief moment of stunned silence, erupted in cries of admiration. “Alive, alive!” they chanted, as if Hanno had become their hero, a champion in this macabre dance of survival. Adona, however, still couldn’t tear her eyes away from the young gladiator, a feeling of unease overwhelming her.But that wasn’t all. It wasn’t just Hanno’s heroism that disturbed her, but the way he looked at her, an intensity in his gaze that suggested things she wasn’t ready to hear. It was a gaze that Geta immediately noticed. He turned his eyes towards Adona, observing the silent exchange, and the agitation that had taken hold of her.

Without a word, Geta made a subtle gesture, his gaze sliding towards Caracalla. The latter, indifferent to the scene, seemed more interested in the spectacle than in the dynamic between the two protagonists. But Geta, more observant, felt that something was happening that he couldn’t quite grasp. Why did this gladiator seem to look at Adona with such intensity? Why had such unease settled between them, as though a secret was buried beneath the sands of the arena?The crowd, however, knew nothing of this. They saw only the heroic gladiator, the struggle of the gladiator against death, and the cheers of a people ready to venerate their new champion.

[mabari-nation]

Okay I am not done with the series but I've gotten to Blackwood farm so I'll give a summary to there. Also sorry for grammar I'm typing this out quickly and not checking for it.

QUEEN OF THE DAMNED: Armand and Daniel get together. Marius and Armand reunite as well and live together on Night Island.

TALE OF THE BODY THIEF: During Tale of the Body Thief we don't know what's happening with them Other than everyone left Night Island other than Lestat.

MEMNOCK THE DEVIL: During Memnock we see Armand again and he tries to kill himself in the sun because Lestat comes back from hell with Veronica's Veil. Everyone thinks he's dead. The side book Pandora also happens around this time and yeah they all think he's dead.

THE VAMPIRE ARMAND: Armand doesn't fully understand how he met Benji and Sybelle but he saved them from Sybelle's abusive family member a bit after he threw himself into the sun. While recovering from his burns he calls out telepathically to Benji and Sybelle and they help him. After recovering he starts to live with Benji and Sybelle. He spoils them completely and Armand is really starting to be content with his life and enjoy it. Armand hears about how Lestat is in a vampire type coma and goes to see him. He leaves Benji and Sybelle with Marius to look over them and protect them because no one is going to fuck with Marius. Armand and David find each other and Armand tells his tale to David. Armand confirms in it that he and Daniel are no longer together. Afterwards, he goes back to Marius to find Sybelle and Benji as vampires. He's very upset and finds a depressed Marius. Marius admits he doesn't know if being a vampire is worse than being human anymore and he knows Armand would never turn Sybelle or Benji so he did. Armand and him argue and talk for a bit before they all are together again for a while as Sybelle plays her music.

MERRICK: no info on them

BLOOD AND GOLD: Daniel is with Marius after Armand dropped him off here because Daniel kinda lost it mentally. Daniel is really into making model cities and stuff, and they live together. Marius is still in his depression era and is taking care of Daniel.

BLACKWOOD FARM: nothing so far

BEYOND WHAT IVE READ: I know Armand, Sybelle, and Benji stay together and are spotted together in the final book in the series. Benji makes a podcast. Marius becomes a part of the vampire government as well cuz that becomes a thing. At some point Daniel recovers and Marius and him travel to Brazil and I think are a couple. Idk what else because I haven't finished the books yet.

somebody please sit down and hold my hand and give me a really good timeline of wtf happens with marius and armand and daniel, and benji and sybelle pls because marius left a LOT out of his book. I read only the gayest bit of queen of the damned also. like can i please sit in somebodys lap and can you draw it for me :((

[wishchip106]

imagine what the xmen would be like if charles and erik were human

i’m imagining more movie version of xmen with this

if we look at first class moira did originally reach out to charles because he’s a genetics professor and not a mutant

when charles was doing his presentation at the CIA they were not convinced until he and raven showed their mutations

honestly don’t know how raven managed to tag along maybe charles convinced everyone she could come

but like without his telepathy he probably gets rejected and he likely leaves with raven

now erik was only taken in by shaw because he bended the gate so we just got to hope he survived the ‘average’ camp experience

although nothing about the holocaust is average

it could be likely he still becomes a n*zi hunter just without the advantages of his mutation

or he just tries to live his life after that insanely traumatic experience

who knows but basically its unlikely these two will ever meet unless we pull out a romance movie type meet cute thing

now onto the actual xmen starting with the first class mutants they’d likely still live their average lives in hiding (and alex in solitary confinement)

jean would likely be going through foster systems until she’s old enough to live on her own or she gets adopted but without the shields charles put in place her powers would likely take over her and she might end up causing a lot of harm to a lot of people

storm would either been in cairo still or somewhere else but if we’re focusing on the movie timelines, her power would be very minimal

she would likely grow up living on a thief’s wage until she finds something else to do with her life (i wouldn’t know what honestly)

scott would be walking around blindfolded 24/7 as he didn’t have hank to make his glasses for him. if alex continued to stay in solitary confinement he probably had no one to feel connected with

logan would still be fitting into his ‘wild animal’ thing and just moving around bar to bar trying to find something worth doing in his life

rogue would likely of died in the van explosion

a lot of the mutant kids living in the x-mansion wouldn’t have a place to call home and the majority of them would be living on the streets getting persecuted

there would be no brotherhood OR xmen to stop humans from wiping out mutants completely

sure maybe some mutants rise up to make they’re own groups but they likely don’t have the influence of a rich old white guy

crazy how much impact these guys have on the world

both with they’re influence on mutants AND their insanely dramatic romance that lives across the ages

[doverstar]

actually I love Tentoo and he is the Doctor and it was the only ending for Rose that worked and it is a huge gift to be able to have the man she loves grow old with her, they were always heading for that, y'all be quiet. I 100% understand the angst but it's okay, they're okay, good ending-

[eikichi-supremacy]

okay maybe an unpopular opinion but i think shiori shouldn't actually like hiei that much

[genderqueerpond]

The first Doctor had two companions die horribly, in a row, in quick succession. This really upset Steven, who was there for all of it. Steven is grieving. Steven is, possibly, blaming him a little bit.

When faced with the prospect of adopting a new companion, he won't. Traveling with him could just get her killed, and Steven will be terribly upset about that. If she dies off his watch, that's not his fault and not his responsibility. Steven can't blame him for that. This is where she belongs, therefore it is best to leave her here, no matter what may happen. He hasn't stolen her. Stealing people away only to get them killed far from home is wrong. See, he's finally learned that! He is not doing it this time. He has such good self restraint! Steven will be proud of him for this. Steven will be pleased that he is being responsible.

But Steven is angry.

It doesn't make sense, he's doing the Right Thing! It's very confusing.

Better take the next girl to come along. Now Steven is happy. Humans are so inconsistent and impossible to understand!

[hauntingblue]

Oh now the villagers know..... and arlong burned the town to punish her..... for some reason

[makotonaegiunderstander]

do you ever go do autism crazy for something you can feel it in ur chest. like it’s hard to breathe almost it’s making you gasp for breath and jump around physically. got an adrenaline rush thinking abt Kirigiri.

[turtlemagnum]

when i was younger and hung out around my uncle a lot more than i do now, i remember whenever he referred to things regarding his native heritage, he always just called it "indian". called himself an indian, called the words he taught us indian, so on. since i was a little kid who didn't know any better, i didn't know that "indian" in the context of indigenous americans was a very broad, frankly bastardized term to paint a vast variety of cultures spanning two whole damn continents with one brush. it only occurred to me as i got much older than i was at the time that there'd be more than one "indian" language, and up until now since i had no idea what tribe(s) he even is i couldn't even begin to know where to look unless i found a download of every goddamn interlingual dictionary available and painstakingly checked every godddamn one for what their word for "thunder" is

the word he taught us meant thunder was hiloha. i didn't even know how to spell it until now, because he only ever said it aloud. literally just a few minutes ago, i decided to ask my grandma (his sister) if we knew what tribe(s) he belonged to. and apparently he's a mix of choctaw and makah. which gave me a lead, which led to me finding a dictionary on libgen, which led to me word searching "thunder" in the choctaw to english dictionary. it's the only word i remember him teaching us, and i'm unsure if he ever tried teaching us others. but it was his dogs name, and he was a damn good boy, so i remembered it clear as day. though, they normally shortened it to "hilo".

so, i guess what came out of this is that i now know a bit more about my uncle's heritage, and where to look for more research. so, if you're gonna have a takeaway from this, i'd appreciate it if you remembered the word "hiloha". it means thunder. and aside from being the name of a very good boy who deserves to be remembered, i think it's even more important to remember the histories, cultures, and of course the languages of all the indigenous folks who came before us and did their damndest to preserve their cultures in spite of it all.

[ciderjacks]

always “boy moms are sexist enablers” never “boy dads are sexist encouragers”

always “annoying tiktok girls are promoting EDs and unhealthy skincare routines” never “adult men are intentionally using teenage girls insecurities to groom them into this shit”

always “annoying housewife woman putting herself in a dangerous situation where she has no freedom” never “her bigot of a husband who now has control over her and almost certainly lured her into this”

always “teen girls are fucked up for seriously saying they wish they didn’t have rights bc they’d rather be property than deal with college” never “men are literally at fault for this in every single way imaginable. Also she’s probably not actually being serious dude.”

always “ugh annoying entitled Karen being rude to the employees” never “jfc a man harassing female GameStop employees being rude and sexist and then waiting for them to get off work to do God knows what”

always “ugh white women suck they’re so annoying” never “ugh white men are entitled brats and are infinitely more annoying than any white lady”

always “straight girls are the worst” never “straight boys are insane and violent with their homophobia in a way straight girls are not often”

always “women need to be more careful in bars” never “maybe men in bars need to be more monitored or given a different section if they Really just cannot stop fucking raping people.”

always “yoga moms soccer moms boy moms almond moms” never any derogatory terms for fathers.

Like is anyone else seeing a pattern

[pawphin]

long ramble in tags tldr: kindness rules