#I cannot word my thoughts for her nearly as coherently unfortunately so no paragraphs tonight. I’m just going to start growling like a dog | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

makotonaegiunderstander · 8 months ago

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do you ever go do autism crazy for something you can feel it in ur chest. like it’s hard to breathe almost it’s making you gasp for breath and jump around physically. got an adrenaline rush thinking abt Kirigiri.

#GODDDDD. I LOVE HER SM AUTISM WOMAN.#I go insane thinking abt her and her life and how she develops in THH and past it #and how Makoto and her literally bring out the best AND worst in each other #and her narrative parallels w Byakuya. the way they’re so similar that they’re hypocrites for disliking each other #at first and then the way they’re indispensable in that they’re they only other one that Understands why they’re like that #I cannot word my thoughts for her nearly as coherently unfortunately so no paragraphs tonight. I’m just going to start growling like a dog #the way she fucking commands so much respect and control and how strong she is #and the fact that she is constantly reinforcing that strength by shoring up any weakness or vulnerability with terrifying effectiveness #that leaves her invulnerable but completely alone. and for a long time that seemed like a good thing #and she may even believe it is #but you hear the way she talks about her father and you realize she’s HUMAN. she doesn’t want to be an island all the time.#she has emotions just like anyone else and being viewed as though she doesn’t is incredibly alienating and reinforces her isolation #if she really didn’t care she wouldn’t still be mad that her father left her alone. it wouldn’t still pick at her the way it does #it wouldn’t drive her to abandon the entire purpose of her family by revealing herself as the Ultimate Detective in order to get to him #and then there’s Makoto and Byakuya challenging those aspects of her all over again #Byakuya sees the worst of her. he believes what she puts forth as herself and sees that ruthless cold efficiency #and he isn’t wrong to believe those things. as much as she wears a mask it isn’t fake that she has those qualities #but then comes Makoto who doesn’t see through her mask either but chooses to believe she must be human somewhere even if he’s not sure #he continues to trust her with absolutely no reason to and it feeds into her own ruthless efficiency by making him her Guinea out of sorts #but it also means there’s someone on the shoreline of her island. they want to come in. Will she let them?#that island is painful but not more painful than being vulnerable.#hhhh #I’m crazy

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