#with Ratio as the big spoon here

[amethystleslie]

Bought this at work cuz it reminded me of Ratiorine.

[creamflix]

Can I request Ratio + warm, fuzzy blankets (nice) please? Thank you and enjoy your holidays!

you’ve received a gift! ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ want to check out other gifts? ・:〃➜ click here! 

"veriiiitassss," you whined, dramatic as ever, arms outstretched like a desperate villager begging for salvation. 

“i’m freezing over here! c'mon, you’re practically a furnace. just lemme —”

“no.” his response was swift and firm, his usual tone laced with the faintest hint of exasperation as he glanced up from his book. “you’re perfectly capable of using the blankets you insisted on buying last season.”

you gawked at him, scandalized. “blankets don’t have body heat, veritas! i need you. this is life or death!”

“if you were truly freezing, you wouldn’t be standing there flailing like a lunatic,” he said, snapping his book shut and resting it on the table beside him. 

his reddish-pink eyes flicked over to you, sharp and piercing. “stop being dramatic.”

“dramatic? dramatic?!” you clutched your chest as if he’d mortally wounded you. “this is betrayal. betrayal of the highest order. i’m your lover, veritas. you’re supposed to keep me warm. isn’t that, like, a rule or something?”

“the only rule is to use common sense,” he said, standing and gesturing toward the blanket pile in the corner of the room. “go. wrap yourself up. weighted blankets exist for a reason.”

defeated but not willing to give up entirely, you stomped — childishly, admittedly — to the pile and dragged out the heaviest, fluffiest blanket you could find. muttering about boyfriends and their frigid hearts, you buried yourself in the cocoon of fabric and plopped onto the bed, pointedly turning your back to him.

“i hope you’re happy,” you sulked, voice muffled by the blanket. “your poor, freezing partner is left to fend for themselves. what a cruel, cruel world.”

the room was silent for a moment, save for the sound of pages turning as he resumed his book. 

then, you felt it — the bed dipped under his weight, his warmth radiating against your back as he laid down beside you.

“your attitude is appalling,” he muttered, his voice low and gruff as his arm snaked around your waist, pulling you flush against him. “you sulk like a child.”

your pout morphed into a smug grin as you wriggled against him. “says the one who gave in.”

“i didn’t give in. i’m ensuring you don’t suffocate yourself in that ridiculous blanket,” he retorted, though his hand rested on your hip, fingers curling possessively.

“mhmm. suurrre.” you craned your neck to glance at him, catching the faintest hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. 

“admit it, you missed me.”

“missed the silence, maybe,” he replied, though the way he pulled you closer betrayed his words.

you snuggled deeper into his chest, grinning like you’d won the lottery. 

“you’re warm,” you murmured, your tone softening.

he huffed, the sound almost amused. “you’re insufferable.”

“and yet, here you are,” you teased, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “spooning me like the big softie you are.”

he sighed, resting his chin atop your head. “only because you’ll never stop complaining otherwise.”

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[twilghtkoo]

pairings. jungkook x reader (f)

genre. fluff, established relationship

warnings. mentions of the anime jujutsu kaisen, reader is a tease, one use of the word d3ad

notes. i’m still thinking about this live and i keep seeing clips of him on my fyp and i got an idea 💡 so enjoy this brain dump of vivian loving jungkooooook :3

[ masterlist ]

—

the sight you walked into was an amusing one, because why is your boyfriend in your kitchen vacuuming the air?

“what in the world are you doing?” you laugh out loud, startling him before he whips around and the loud noise of the appliance stops suddenly.

he relaxes once he sees it’s you, placing down the vacuum in its rightful spot.

“there was fruit flies in here, i told myself i’m not eating my lunch until all of them are gone.” he tells you, dragging his feet towards you to embrace you in his arms.

he dramatically drops his dead weight on you making you grunt. “oof- my big boy.” you coo, one hand is placed on his hip while the other is patting his head affectionately.

“always taking care of the critters in here, my hero!” you praise the man in your arms, knowing he thrives off it.

he giggles at that, releasing himself from you before sitting himself at the kitchen table. uncovering his plate of food that you assumed was to protect it from the annoying flies.

“you want some baby?” he generously asks you, his big doe eyes staring up at you patiently.

you hum, stepping towards him to peek at his food. “that does look yummy, can i just have a bite?”

jungkook scoots his chair back and widens his legs before patting his thigh for you to sit on.

you shake your head. “i just want a bite, i don’t want all of it.”

“i’m not giving you all my food dummy, i just want you to sit with me. please?” he pouts.

you roll your eyes but take a seat like he asked. he carefully picks up a ratio of each meat and rice before feeding you.

he doesn’t feast on his own til he sees that your satisfied with his creations, carefully gazing up at your eyes for any reactions.

“mmmm,” your eyes light up. “that’s delicious babe.”

he grins at that and eats a spoonful for himself. you throw your arm over his shoulders, rubbing his back and shoulders.

“we can start our anime today.” he says with his mouth full, something you always nag at him for because it’s gross. you don’t even have to say anything because you stare at him and he just quietly apologizes with his bunny teeth peeking out.

“oh yeah, jujutsu kaisen. we can watch that when you’re done, prepare snacks and everything and cuddle on the couch.” you clasp your hands together with excitement.

your eyes roam down to the silver chain dangling from his neck, a familiar silver ring hanging in the middle.

“oh you put it on a necklace,” you let out a small gasp, picking up the silver band from the chain with your thumb and pointer finger as you look closely at it.

the ring you gifted him on his birthday last year. not an engagement ring and not really a promise ring. but it does hold a lot of love from you to him.

“yeah, i didn’t really wanna wear rings today but i always wear this one so i decided to put it on one of my chains.”

you nod your head in a fond manner. “reminds me of yuta and rika.”

“except you’re not dead and i’m not cursed.” he points out.

you chuckle, “exactly.”

with the ring still between your fingers, you mindlessly loop your finger through it and lightly tug at it.

“baby, i’m trying to take a bite and you’re pulling me.”

you smirk, “give me a kiss and i’ll let you eat.”

you don’t have to tell him twice. he’d do anything to kiss you.

without a thought, he leans in and kisses you quickly, ending it with a loud ‘mwah’.

you scoff, tugging him with his necklace still looped around your finger. “what kind of kiss was that?”

“a jungkook one.”

you roll your eyes, tugging at the chain again to pull him closer towards you, both of you were so close that you just had to pucker your lips for yours to reach his. jungkook’s breath was wavering as he stared at your parted lips.

smirking, you slowly tilt your head and lean in watching as his eyes flutter shut and his lips parted, ready to kiss you the way you wanted to be kissed.

you gazed at him with a slick grin, enchanted by the look of lust on his face. when he kept leaning in, chasing for your lips until he couldn’t feel yours he pulls away frustratingly, opening his eyes.

he pouts, “what’re you doing? kiss me!” he whines out, poking your side making you jolt on his lap.

“okay, okay, sorry. you look cute before you kiss me by the way.” you grinned widely.

jungkook dead stares at you, growing impatient by the second.

“sorry baby,” you muttered before pulling him in for a hard kiss.

[ametistacollinsworld]

♡ Uzi x Reader x N Cuddles hcs ♡

My eighth request! Hope you like it! <3

✥------------------✥------------------✥

Oki doki! Look at what we have here-

☠ Uzi:

For me, Uzi says that she is the type that hates physical contact, but the truth is that she only gives this "power" to those she has a lot of affinity with...with you and N being the only ones allowed to hug her. (Sorry dad-)

Uzi would never admit that she likes to hug you, and if you questioned she, you would get a big: " BITE ME! " with embarrassed shiny cheeks.

If Uzi is having a bad day, she would immediately come to you, demanding hugs, which you would never mind bringing the drone to your lap, hugging the drone affectionately while stroking her hair and massage her back.

Uzi would definitely want to watch anime cuddling you, resting her head on your shoulder in a pleasant silence.

If you were short like her, she would sometimes pull you into her lap to hug you.

Now if you were tall- Get ready for a flying hug attack! That drone would lunge towards you and grab you like a gremglin lmao-

✿ N:

I see N wanting to take every opportunity he gets, like:

>Has he not seen you in a while? Hugs!

>Did he literally see you yesterday? Hugs!

>Did he see you literally an hour ago?! Hugs!

Surprise hugs! He would sneak up behind you and give you a surprise hug, scaring you in the process but in the end you always forgive him- he's just too adorable-

N would like to pick you up if you let him! Let the boy pick you up please!- He'll be so happy-

If you were shorter than him, he would give you hugs where ever you were lifted off the ground, not that you're complaining lol-

Now- If you were tall- N wouldn't really mind after all he loves you for who you are! Please pick this boy up and let him lie in your lap too! He absolutely loves it!

♥ Uzi and N:

Constant fights between these two to see who will hug you first (Being started by Uzi most of the times-)

Congratulations! Now whenever you go to sleep, you'll be hugged by a worker drone and a murder drone! Yipee!

If they were both hugging you at the same time, Uzi likes to rest her head on your chest or shoulder, while N likes to rest their head on your head or the side of your face.

Sleepy Cuddles Sandwich! + lots of kisses on the cheek and forehead! (+ slow kisses on the lips and neck too maybe-)

In spoon hugs, you would be Uzi's big spoon, while you would be N's little spoon! (Very comfortable!)

If N is feeling really needy and wants hugs, he'll "steal" you from Uzi and hug you upside down vampire style- (would Uzi be really upset and give you a pouty look- cute?)

If Uzi is feeling really needy and wants hugs, she'll act meaner and shun you- (Logic? Lol-) she wants you to notice that she's needy and give her a hug- (Uzi doesn't like to seem " weak" or "too sentimental" but she's always act like this for you lol-)

+ BONUS +

V looked at the three of you with an expressionless face, then rolled her eyes.

" Can you guys do this somewhere else? This is annoying- " V spoke with an annoyed tone looking at you.

You looked back at V while still being hugged by Uzi and N.

" Damn...bacause of stuff like this you get no bitches + ratio + That's why I get all your bitches " You replied with a grim smile.

" HOOOOOOOOOOOOO " Thad yelled as he cupped his hands to his cheeks dramatically. XD

[themirokai]

I did my at-least-annual tradition of making my family’s chicken soup recipe on Sunday, and I took process photos, so I thought I’d share. Here’s what I have written down but for all its vagueness it’s still not accurate.

I think every generation has modified some stuff about the process and tweaked it for their particular tastes.

Instead of using a whole chicken, I use a split chicken breast (2 halves) plus a pack of chicken thighs (4). I like this better because the ratio of meat to fiddly bits is better and Surfski likes CHICKEN soup (lots of chicken per bowl). You could easily use half a breast or one or two fewer thighs, but I think the mix of white and dark meat is important for flavor.

Next is something I added to the recipe after reading Salt Fat Acid Heat. I salt my raw chicken and let it sit out for at least half an hour before I put it in the water. I think this helps the chicken hold flavor through the cooking.

While the chicken is sitting (so a change from the order of the recipe) I chop a large sweet onion plus the carrots, celery, and parsnips. I think I used 5 skinny stalks of celery, 4 carrots and 5 parsnips, but especially given the size variability you’ve got to judge this based on vibes. How much of each vegetable does your heart tell you that you need in your soup? The one exception to this is if you are not familiar with parsnips and you are considering skimping on them or leaving them out. That is not your heart. That is the devil and you must resist. Trust me on this and use about as many parsnips as carrots.

The next step was added by my great aunt who was a genius in the kitchen (also very good at refurbishing antiques but that’s less relevant). You heat up some butter and olive oil and sautee your vegetables in it. Yes it makes another pan to clean but it’s completely worth it. You don’t cook it for long! Just until the carrots and celery get bright and the onion is just starting to get translucent and everything is a tiny bit soft.

Ok, set the veg aside but I highly recommend snacking on some of the parsnips at this point. Every time I make chicken soup it always makes me want to make roast parsnips and I always forget when I’m meal planning.

Next it’s chicken time! Load your chicken into a big heavy pot and cover it with water. I just barely cover it because I’m going to need room for lots of veg.

Put that on your biggest burner and boil it. It will take a while to come up to a good boil. Once it’s boiling it will start to foam. This stuff.

Ick. Skim that off and throw it away.

Now, when the foaming is done, turn down the heat and dump in your veg. Mix it all in there then put your bunch of dill on top. Make sure you take off the twist tie or anything else holding the dill together.

My mom added this next step which she got from a friend of hers. It’s this shit called Better Than Bouillon.

You can use the plain chicken variety. Roast chicken is just what my grocery store had. I’m not 100% sure what it is but it really does add gorgeous flavor to the soup. I put one big spoonful in a big pot. This is what it looks like out of the jar.

Now you let everything cook together until the chicken is cooked. How long will that take? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Depends on the size of your chicken pieces and how high you have the heat, etc. When you think it might be done, pull out your biggest piece of chicken and poke it. It should be white and firm. If it is, pull the rest of the chicken out too and turn the heat way down but leave the veg and the dill in to simmer.

Now you walk away. Go scroll tumblr. Read a chapter of a book. Draw something. But you gotta let the chicken cool down.

Why? Because you’re going to shred that with your fingers and you don’t want to burn your fingerprints off. Or maybe you do. I don’t know your life.

Anyway, this is a good spot for me to stop and hit post because I’m on mobile and I’ll run up against the 10 image limit.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this so far! The rest of the recipe and the end product will be in a reblog.

[mistresslrigtar]

Chapter Nineteen: Secret (written of @zelinktines24 day 19 prompt)

Read below or HERE

Star’s escape and Tulin’s sudden arrival curtail any further discussion regarding the secret stones for the immediate future. Zelda still isn’t sure what she’ll say to Link, and is happy for the reprieve, especially when a knock on the door, reveals Riju standing on the other side. Beyond them, Riju’s entourage is already erecting a large, colorful tent that will be their quarters while they are in Akkala. Her guard, Buliara stands by the front stoop, spear in hand observing the operation and barking commands when the workers aren’t doing something to her satisfaction.

Riju throws herself at Zelda, her anklets and bracelets jingling pleasantly when she pulls Zelda in for a firm hug. “It’s so good to see you! Thank you for inviting us.”

Zelda doesn’t bother to correct her that it was Link’s initial idea, and smiles warmly at her friend when they part. “Of course. Please, come in. You must be tired from traveling. I’ll brew us some tea.”

Riju makes herself at home on a cushion by the table and gazes out the panoramic windows. “I’ve never been this far from Gerudo before. It’s so different out here — it feels wild and uninhabited.”

Aside from the garrison that had been stationed at the Citadel, there weren’t very many people in the past who made the region their home. Zelda has noted that the trend seems to be changing as travelers visiting Tarrey Town discover the beautiful, lush green countryside.

“It’s a hidden gem.” Zelda sets the kettle over the cooking fire, and rifles in the cupboard for the tea tin and her delicate porcelain cherry blossom tea set she reserves for special occasions.

“Indeed.” Riju turns away from the windows to watch Zelda work. “Where’s Link?”

“Oh, Tulin arrived yesterday, so Link took him out to show him the surrounding area and hunt. I imagine they’ll be back shortly.” Setting the tea set on a tray, Zelda sprinkles tea into the pot before removing the kettle from the heat and adding water. She carries it to the table and sits down before serving the tea.

Riju accepts the cup Zelda offers and plops several sugar cubes from the bowl in until Zelda is certain the sugar to tea ratio has dipped strongly in favor of the sweetener. Stirring it with a spoon, Riju takes a sip, lightly smacking her lips and declaring it delicious, before folding her arms on the table and leaning toward Zelda. “I’ve got a secret!”

“Oh, what’s that?” Riju’s excitement is infectious and Zelda smiles as she pours a splash of milk in her tea, forgoing any sugar.

Red lips curving into a big smile, Riju’s eyes brighten. “I’ve found my true love. Of course, Buliara doesn’t approve,”—Riju rolls her eyes—“but I don’t care what she thinks. My love’s name is Alaura, and she’s intelligent, strong and gorgeous. I don’t know how I ever managed before without her.”

True love. The words tumble over in Zelda’s mind. Riju makes it sound so simple and easy to be with the person she loves. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

Eyes brightening, Riju’s smile widens. “She’s helping set up camp, but I’ll introduce you and Link to her later. Speaking of, how are you two doing?”

“We’re all right…” Her eyes flick to Riju’s earring and sees her amber stone sparkling innocuously in the sunlight streaming through the windows. Link said he wanted to speak to their friends about the stones, so… “Link has asked me to consider destroying the secret stones. He’s afraid of them falling into the wrong hands again.”

“Hmmm.” Riju sets down her cup, and rests her chin on a closed fist, a thoughtful look in her eyes. “That is a troubling possibility, but you seem to disagree with him.”

“I am hesitant to take such a drastic action,” Zelda agrees, glad she decided to bring up the subject with Riju, and garner a third, perhaps more unbiased opinion. “Don’t you need it to utilize your gift fully?”

“No.” Riju reaches a hand to lightly finger the stone dangling from her ear. “Link is the one who helped hone and harness my gift. The stone merely allowed him to call upon my power when he was searching for you, and I wasn’t able to physically be by his side.”

Riju leans back on her cushion, her eyes thoughtful as she studies Zelda. “If it’s validation you’re looking for to help make the final decision, I agree that the risks outweigh any further benefit they offer. We didn’t need them before, and in the end, they aren’t what helped us defeat Ganondorf and his forces. It was teamwork, and that we have in spades, no?”

Zelda nods, realizing what Riju is saying is what Link had been trying to articulate yesterday. “When he suggested it, I shut down. I keep hoping I’ll sense Rauru or Sonia through the stone.”

Frowning, Riju’s brows pull together. “We’re in the land of the living, Zelda. The ghosts of the sages, Rauru and Sonia have done what was needed and hopefully, have found peace in the spirit realm.”

Riju’s words make Zelda pause, the rim of the cup at her lips, warm steam misting the skin beneath her nose. Her heart clenches in her chest, recalling the hurt look in Link’s eyes when she’d said she would have to think about it. Her consummate love for Link had initially unlocked her power, and now she realizes it was her filial love for Rauru and Sonia that had helped her hone it, not the stone. Love has always been at the core of her power. How could Zelda have forgotten that?

[pb-littleverse]

little!Hyunjin's Part 2 to the previous request, little!Heejin and little!Hyunjin both in different girl groups now and feeling miserable not being able to see each other as much.

Part 1

--

Tensions have been high today in the Loossemble dorms, and Kahei is only a few steps shy from the end of her rope.

She had already had to put Hyeju in timeout today. Her baby wolf once again decided to mock Chaewonnie until she cried tears of frustration.

Now, it’s Chae’s turn in the corner, having left teeth marks in Hyeju’s hand in a disagreement over a game, and then biting her on the ankle to try and stop her from tattling.

She loves her little girls, even when one lives to antagonize, and the other likes to act out as a literal ankle biter. She loves all of them fiercely.

But with Chaewonnie acting up more than usual lately, Hyeju taunting her for it, and Yeojin sleeping like a baby (literally in her baby headspace), Kahei can’t deny that some help at a time like this would be appreciated.

But through everything today, Hyunjin has been suspiciously quiet. She had wanted time to herself earlier, as she often does most free afternoons. But it’s now past dinnertime, and Kahei realizes that she hasn’t seen Hyunjin for hours.

Worry sparks through her when she knocks on her bedroom door, only to get no response. Conflicted relief takes over when Kahei finds her facedown on the living room sectional instead.

She’s wearing her kitty collar, which means she’s little. While Hyunjin is one of the most reliable caregivers, the tradeoff is that Aeongie can be one of their most unpredictable littles–hence the agreement to put a bell collar on her.

What’s concerning, however, is that she hasn’t heard that bell ringing once today, which means Aeongie has either been cooped up in her room, or else moping here on the couch all evening.

Kahei’s heart aches for her little girl, but she can’t repress a sigh. She’s tired, and consoling Aeongie is always a tossup.

Still, Kahei shakes herself into a steady, gentle tone before confronting her sulky darling.

“Aeongie, baby, are you doing okay?” she asks.

Aeongie huffs, blowing a big, grumpy breath out of her mouth.

“Wan’ cereal,” she pouts.

Kahei has to strain to hear her. The corner of her mouth quirks up into a smile, and she has to hold her knuckles to her own mouth to keep from giggling.

There’s no question: it’s terrible seeing Hyunjin upset, but Kahei can’t always help her urge to laugh at inappropriate times. Here with Aeongie’s head crammed between the cushions of the sectional is no exception.

“Cereal, really?” she asks, raising an eyebrow fondly. “For dinner?”

Aeongie’s furious nodding is hard to argue with. Kahei isn’t normally one to indulge demands that are made without a “Please” before them, but since she’s the one who didn’t think to check on Aeongie at dinnertime, she accepts it as a fair enough bargain.

Kahei prepares Aeongie’s favorite mix: Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Lucky Charms, with a generous marshmallow-to-cereal ratio as a treat, and doused in cold milk.

“It looks like my kitty cat could use a pick-me-up,” she muses, setting the bowl down in front of Aeongie and taking the armchair at the end of the coffee table.

“T’ank you,” Aeongie mutters.

“You’re so welcome, baby.” Kahei smiles, pleased by Aeongie’s manners and rocking in her chair to give her time to eat.

Only after a wild descent upon the bowl does Aeongie cough up what’s bothering her.

“Miss Heekkie,” she grumbles, her spoon roughly clattering as she drops it into the cleared bowl.

“You miss Heekkie?” Kahei smiles. This is about what she expected. “That sounds like something a good playdate at the ARTMS dorm can help with, no?”

What surprises Kahei is the stormy conviction on Aeongie’s brow only hardening at the suggestion.

“Don’ wanna,” she hisses, swiftly shambling across the floor and plopping herself down in Kahei’s lap.

If there was a fight between her and Heekkie, Kahei knows nothing about it. She racks her brain, knowing there’s no chance of prying further while Aeongie is like this. She’s at least willing to lean into Kahei’s touch while she strokes her hair. That’s a good sign, anyways.

After giving it some thought, she switches her tactic.

“Do you need to get some energy out, baby? Do you want to play in your box?”

The box came with their dorm’s new refrigerator. Their company had it delivered not long into everyone moving in, after the girls agreed to let ARTMS keep LOONA’s old one. The day that Kahei and Hyeju managed to get it running, no one could locate Aeongie.

After a thorough search of the dorm, they found her napping in the box. She looked even more precious and peaceful than if she had been in her own bed. As such, they kept it around as a sort of playhouse for Aeongie.

But now, something pitiful crosses Aeongie’s face at the mention of the box. She buries her face in Kahei’s lap and frantically mumbles something. Worry flares up in Kahei.

“Speak up for me, honey?” she coaxes.

“I put a hole in it!” Aeongie bawls, suddenly banging her fists against the arm of the chair and threatening to fall out of Kahei’s lap.

And that throws Kahei for a loop. She wants to ask Aeongie what in the world happened to get her this worked up. But first, she allows her little girl the space to cry herself out.

“Oh, kitten,” she hums. “Can Momma touch your head?”

Aeongie nods vigorously, throwing herself in a wild, sprawling adjustment out in Kahei’s lap. Once she’s settled, Kahei presses her fingertips into Aeongie’s scalp and massages in slow circles. Tears slide down her cheeks and onto Kahei’s pants as she lifts herself higher onto her lap.

After a minute of gentle rocking in Kahei’s hold, Aeongie finally spills.

“Don’ wan’ Heekkie to see me when I’m not fun,” she blubbers.

Hearing it just about cracks Kahei’s heart in two, but she remains steady.

“But, baby, don’t you think Heekkie is sad too?”

Aeongie shakes her head with a grunt, smudging more tears into Kahei’s shirt. But after thinking about it a little longer, she relents.

“I don’ know,” she murmurs.

They stay like that, Kahei holding her close, until Aeongie eventually grows restless. She rolls down and onto the floor, tugging insistently for her Momma to follow.

With Kahei’s help, Aeongie trudges along to show her what happened to the box. Kahei finds that she had indeed punched a hole through in a moment’s tantrum, and even flattened it some as well.

Aeongie’s lip quivers as she surveys the damage. Kahei shushes her comfortingly, and they gradually work towards a solution that Aeongie can agree with.

She allows Kahei to cut a bigger hole in the side of the box. When it’s ready, Aeongie sits pensively in the cockpit of her new “spaceship,” assessing the changes to her favorite toy.

Kahei chews her lip as she watches. This is Aeongie, or Hyunjin– always their brave commander. This is Aeongie/Hyunjin, who went through every phase of grief to secure the formation of this group.

This is Aeongie/Hyunjin, who stayed behind with Kahei and saved her from being stranded alone at their old company.

After looking the box over from every angle, Aeongie turns and stares up at Kahei with big, pleading eyes.

On cue, Kahei pushes up against the back of the box, driving her around on the carpet. Aeongie bursts into squeals and Kahei, feeling gratified, finds the nerve to add sound effects.

Aeongie will still need time and space to wallow. Kahei will cherish moments like these in the meantime, taking any opportunity to put a smile on her face.

Their brave commander will pick herself up when she’s ready. Of that, Kahei has no doubt.

[honeykngdom]

𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚢 | 𝚎. 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 | 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎

Pairing: Embry Call x Original Character Summary: Join Ainsley and Embry as they embark on a journey where they are forced to question everything they thought they knew, and embrace the pain that is inevitable to avoid in love. An imprint story. Self-discovery. Angst and romance. Word Count: 5.3k Warnings: acts of violence, mentions of blood, angst. so much angst. Taglist: @leilaniers - message / comment if you’d like to be tagged in new chapters (or for Embry content in general)!

𝙴𝚖𝚋𝚛𝚢

Embry’s body ached in places they hadn’t ached in years. He groaned slightly, stretching his arms out in front of him as the joints popped loudly. He was sore, he was tired, and he was hungry. As much as he wanted to sleep, he needed food far more. Working a double patrol was not something commonly heard of amongst the group – so, it’s safe to say Leah and Seth were a little more than surprised when Embry had joined them the previous night to run their shift around the border. 

In all honesty, Embry hadn’t thought too much about it. Jacob hardly ever asked anyone for favours, let alone Embry. But lord knows he had asked for plenty. Seeing no reason to say no, Embry agreed to the extra shift and called in sick to his job for the night. As unhappy as Dan had been about it, he allowed it. 

His fingers worked aimlessly, pulling a clean bowl from the dishwasher and loading it high with Ainsley’s sugary sweet cereal. After digging through the heaping pile of dirty utensils in the sink, Embry found a spoon big enough for his appetite, cleaned it thoroughly and wandered into the living room with his breakfast. 

Once seated on the couch, he propped his feet up on the coffee table – something Ainsley usually never allowed – and flipped the television on. He searched for something while he shovelled spoonfuls into his mouth, pausing momentarily to watch the headline on one of the local news channels circulate across the screen. 

𝑻𝑯𝑹𝑬𝑬 𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑭𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫 𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑫 𝑰𝑵 𝑺𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑳𝑬

Embry sighed; it was difficult trying to find the remaining nomads in the area. He knew fully well that they were preying on humans in other cities, that the odds of them returning to the reservation were slim to none. That typically infuriated Embry, moreso when Jacob dismissed his futile efforts in trying to convince the pack they should go to Seattle to try and hunt them, rather than wait for them here. While it seemed like a practical idea, Jacob had also pointed out that the forest to city ratio was leaning in favour of the latter, which would make finding and killing them more difficult. 

They were unable to cause any real damage while in human form, but were also unable to wander the streets openly. 

Embry placed the empty bowl on the table, swinging his legs over onto the couch as he belched and settled into the cushions. With being unable to be home over the last few weeks, Embry had decided it would be best for Ainsley if she stayed at Jennie’s. He couldn’t decide if leaving her alone was any better than sticking her with her family. If he came for her, he’d surely kill the others, too. 

Jennie. TJ. Travis.

Trent. 

Leah, however, seemed less pessimistic than Embry and had seconded the idea. It brought them more peace in mind to know where they were, and that they were together when neither Leah nor Embry could be around. It had been a few days since Ainsley had slept in their bed, and her absence made Embry feel less at home.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, staring at the illuminated screen that showed a photo of the pair making silly faces in their ugly christmas sweaters – his home screen featured a photo of their matching Halloween costumes. He had gone as Danny and she had gone as Sandy. Embry wore a leather jacket and a tight fitted pair of black jeans with his hair (prior to the accidental buzz Ainsley had given him) slicked back. She wore a homemade Pink Ladies jacket, paired with a cropped white tank and leather leggings. 

He let his eyes close, only momentarily, the weight of his exhaustion finally creeping up on him. 

The sound of a car door slamming from outside the front door brought him back; he slowly opened his eyes, a growl rising in his chest as he turned his head towards the television and read the time – 2:38 PM . Well fuck , he thought as he sat up, I guess I was out longer than I thought.

He had barely gotten the chance to remove the eye sleepies before Jacob barged through the door, “Dude, what the fuck?” Embry grumbled, rubbing his fists against his eyes. “Close the damn door, it’s freezing -”

“Embry, we need to talk.” He said firmly, slamming the door shut behind him. Embry paused his movements and watched Jacob as he began to pace back and forth in their living room uneasily. 

His face was pulled together and tight. Like he had something to say, he just didn’t know how to say it. Like it left a bad taste in his mouth. He’d wander just into the hallway towards the kitchen before he’d come back and pass the television to stop short of the recliner Embry’s mom left behind. Jacob’s arms were folded, his hand covering his mouth every so often. 

After about sixty seconds, Embry rolled his eyes and slumped back into the couch. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” he grumbled, almost exasperated. “I just – I need to make sure I’m doing the right thing.” 

Embry watched his alpha pace again, only stopped every so often to place his hands on his hips and stare down at him. He half expected Jacob to just say something at some point, and was fully prepared for it to be completely stupid and not worth disturbing his sleep. “Don’t you always do the right thing?” He asked, cracking his knuckles. 

“This is different,” Jacob sighed, letting his head fall back. “This is about loyalty and family and –”

Embry raised his brow, lifting his eyes just enough to watch Jacob’s face contort again. “Somethings really eating you up, huh?”

“Emb –”

“Jake, just spit it out. Not to be rude, and I’m going to be rude – I’m fucking tired and you’re kinda being annoying.” Jacob collapsed onto the couch next to his brother; Embry sighed and leaned forward on his elbows, “So, either you say something or you get out of my face. Please.”

𝙹𝚊𝚌𝚘𝚋

Jacob pressed his lips together and inhaled deeply. The part of him that wanted to protect his cousin was screaming somewhere in the back of his mind. She was his family. His duty was to protect her – even if it meant lying to the pack. He had considered it. Considered having people fill his shift, even considered having a meeting to address that the nomad issue no longer threatened the reservation and therefore seemed useless to have his pack strain themselves. 

No one would have to know what he knew. Eventually, it would come out. And when it did, it was possible that the Cullen’s could take complete responsibility for Maddox’s presence. No one would have to know. He wouldn’t have to preoccupy himself with other thoughts because he physically was unable to think about anything other than Ainsley and Maddox and what road lay ahead. 

On the flip side, he thought about Embry. 

Embry was his brother. Ainsley had been absent for so many years, and their relationship came through blood. Blood may be thicker than water, but Embry had been there for Jacob. Despite not liking Bella, despite being a complete asshole, he had earned Jacob’s respect – and Jacob respected Embry enough to not let something as big as this slip past him. 

He feared that his brothers would question his loyalty and decision making should they ever find out. 

Despite everything Carlisle and Jasper had said, Maddox was still a nomad vampire, that had fed on humans, that could still pose a very dangerous threat to the tribe and the townspeople.

“I can’t choose,” he said finally, shaking his head. “She’s my family, and I love her, I really really do.”

“Who?”

“Ainsley.” 

Jacob watched Embry’s face carefully. Several different emotions crossed his face, never able to cling to one. Worry pulled his brows together and pulled his lips taunt, “What about her? What’s wrong?”

𝙴𝚖𝚋𝚛𝚢

“Maddox is residing with the Cullen’s.” 

Embry almost had to ask Jacob to repeat himself – because for a moment, it sounded like Jacob had just informed him that the nomad vampire that had previous relations with his girlfriend was living with the one family he couldn’t touch. That the one vampire he had dreams of tearing into pieces was within walking distance and no one had even known. 

He wasn’t sure if he should be angry at himself or at the Cullen’s. 

“Emb.” Jacob turned to look at his brother fully, “Ainsley is the one who brought him there.” 

He blinked, his face releasing all tension. “That’s not funny.” He snorted, standing on his two feet to bring his bowl into the kitchen. Embry shook his head, his lips pulling into a smile, half expecting Jacob to start laughing with him. When he didn’t, he pulled his brows together again. “That’s not funny.” He repeated, this time a little harder. 

If Jacob was playing some sort of sick, practical joke on Embry, now was the time to say ‘haha’. 

Jacob stood slowly, his eyes carefully watching the tremors vibrate Embry’s chest. “Emb,” He said quietly, firmly. “Ainsley’s been hiding him.”

His voice broke around her name, “Ainsley?”

Jacob nodded. 

The glass bowl shattered instantly under the pressure of his palms, leaving the ceramic in a billion tiny pieces on their living room floor. Embry’s shoulders heaved with each breath he took, the shaking pulling a loud growl through his chest. 

There were many emotions Embry had mastered over the years - loneliness had been one of them. When Ainsley had come into his life and fully welcomed him with open arms, Embry thought he’d never feel anything other than happy for the rest of his life. He had never expected his other half to help aid and bed a vampire. Another emotion Embry had grown accustomed to was disappointment: for weeks, he had been trying to push the thought from his mind. That reliving the Bella-Edward-Jacob painfest was a possibility between he and Ainsley and Maddox. Disappointment because he believed her every time she promised him everything would be okay – he knew why, now. 

It wasn’t easy to admit defeat for Embry, but what was he to do? He couldn’t kill Maddox now – as much as he wanted to, there was no way he was making it near the Cullen household without one or more of them putting him down.

There was a very large part of him that wanted Jacob to be wrong. More than anything, he wanted Jacob to be lying. His feet moved without consent; Embry found himself darting to his front door, breaking the wood from the hinges as he pulled it open. He didn’t even bother with his pants, didn’t bother with his boots – his body convulsed roughly, the heat scorching his spine and shoulders as he fell to the forest floor with a loud snarl and exploded into the part of him he had grown with the most. 

His paws pushed him forward, ignoring the presence of every other brother’s worry and question that flooded his mind. Embry was fully aware that crossing the lands without general permission was frowned upon; the Cullen’s agreed to stay off their territory so long as the wolves stayed off theirs. 

Today, Embry didn’t care. 

Today, Embry had his own agenda. 

𝙰𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚢

The snow fell outside the Cullen household slowly and gently as I sighed in frustration for the umpteenth time. Over the last few weeks, I stopped viewing Maddox as a chore. At some point, we had moved past what had happened. I had never fully forgiven him for what he played part of, but could live with the decision he made to become a monster, I suppose. There were questions I had that would be left unanswered for quite some time, and I couldn’t be bothered to push. I became so incredibly drained both mentally and physically, I could barely stand on my own two feet. 

Edward handed her a mug of steaming liquid; in the last two weeks, Edward and I had been working on our differences. Part of me constantly wanted to thank him, for forcing Embry to tell me. While unconventional, I was still certain I had him to thank. The other part of me wanted to punch him in the nose, but I was aware that my hand probably wouldn’t win that battle. 

Maddox and Jasper were outside, doing whatever it was that Jasper was good at. They had gotten particularly close since his arrival at the Cullen home – not that I minded. It meant he spent less time bugging me and more time occupying himself.  

“Why aren’t you home with Embry?” Edward asked quietly, settling into the opposite end of the couch awkwardly. 

I cocked my brow, looking sideways at him. “We’re not attached at the hip. I do have a life outside of him.” 

Edward pursed his lips and sighed. “Wish Renesmee had that mindset.” He mused, staring at the floor, “Hardly even bothers trying to talk to anyone anymore, just wants to see Jacob.” 

I smiled, trying to hide it behind the red mug, “They’re besties,” I reminded him, stifling a yawn, “get used to it.” 

We spent the better part of the following twenty minutes in silence; neither of us felt the need to talk much, just simply enjoyed the silence. I learned the hard way that Edward could read my mind – and regardless of how unsettling it was, it proved useful. He knew when I was uncomfortable, when Maddox wasn’t going to be in control – he always made use of it by stepping in whenever he seemed fit. 

“Embry?”

I looked over at Edward, his face pulled together.

There was a loud growl, followed by a boom and crack. 

We stared at each other briefly before Edward disappeared, leaving me sitting in the living room alone. I rushed to the window, looking down into the white abyss of what they called a backyard. Maddox stood on one end of the clearing, snow littering his hair – on the opposite end, a large gray wolf crouched low and snarled. Just by the rigid posture and bared teeth, I knew Embry had come for Maddox and was solely intent on killing him.

Shit.

I bolted after Edward, jumping down the flights of stairs. Edward stood next to Jasper, Jasper yelling something about keeping control. “We have a treaty, Knight.” He reminded him, observing Maddox halt his movements and watch Embry in defeat. 

Embry took this as his cue. 

“No!” I shouted, watching Embry’s shoulder ram into the nomad’s body. Maddox went flying backwards into the bushes, his grunt echoing off the trees. I darted over to where Embry stood – having only seen him in this form twice before – and placed my hands on either side of his snout. “Embry, stop.” I whispered desperately, trying to force the wolf to look at me.

He growled, staring past me to where the vampire had disappeared. 

“Embry, please –”

“Ainsley, get out of the way.” Edward demanded while taking a slow, cautionary step forward. 

I shook my head, looking over my shoulder to where Maddox emerged from the forest. His eyes had darkened, his jaw was taut and squared. If I weren’t incredibly sure Maddox was a unicorn in a daredevils body, he might have actually been terrifying. 

Scratch that, he was definitely terrifying. And as much as I didn’t want Embry hurting Maddox, I didn’t want Maddox – or anyone else, for the matter – hurting Embry. The cold wind bit at my cheeks, eliciting a hiss from my mouth. I was being careless.

When the wolf moved forward, I dragged my feet back, bracing myself against Maddox’s body. “Embry, don’t do this.” I pleaded, pressing a hand to his muzzle. “You’re better than this, don’t do this.” 

I was only met with another growl. 

At a loss, unsure if I would be able to reason sense into my wolf, I turned and looked up at Maddox. “Run.” I instructed; when he failed to move, or make eye contact with me, I placed my hands on his chest and gripped his coat, “Maddox, I said run.” 

The next few moments happened very quickly; Edward’s face morphed into shock, dashing forward once realization had crossed his mind. My back crashed against the side of the deck forcing the wind from me, falling down onto my left shoulder where an audible crack echoed through the air. I couldn’t find my voice to scream – I couldn’t find the willpower to get up. Instead I lay there, sunken five inches deep into the snow, my arm bent backwards behind me as I struggled to find air to pull into my lungs. 

Embry towered over Maddox now; his muzzle pulled back over his teeth, his large paw pressed firmly into his chest as a familiar russet wolf nudged him roughly, trying to knock him backwards. 

No avail. 

Jacob whined loudly, looking over his shoulder at me, bringing Embry’s attention with him. Edward kneeled in front of me, mumbling something about a dislocation. He tried pulling me upright, apologizing meekly when I cried out in pain and shut my eyes. 

You will not cry, you will not cry.

The pain radiated from my shoulder into my back. I could move my arm, but something was definitely not right – not where it should have been. “It needs to be pushed back into place.” Edward said quickly, looking up at Jacob – a human Jacob – as he buttoned up the pair of jeans Jasper had tossed him. “I can’t do it, I’ll break her bones.”

𝙴𝚖𝚋𝚛𝚢

Embry swallowed the lump in his throat. He hadn’t meant for it to be as forceful as it was. He had only meant to push her to the side with his paw, just to move her out of the way so he wouldn’t hurt her when he finally lunged for Maddox – he hadn’t intended on sending her flying twenty feet and into concrete. 

He pulled the band of the sweatpants around his hips, standing behind Jacob at the deck. Ainsley sat in a pile of snow, her bare arms shaking visibly, her lips trembling while the others tended to her. Embry almost wanted to blame Maddox – almost wanted to say everything he wanted to say the entire run here, but kept quiet instead.

Embry and Ainsley would not get mixed up in a love triangle because Embry was certain Ainsley did not love Maddox; when Ainsley tried profusely to prevent Embry from doing what he wanted most (which she had been fully aware of for weeks now), something inside him snapped. That instantaneous feeling of isolation and loneliness sunk back into his bones: the one person he had assumed would always be on his side, had just forced him to question her loyalty. 

Ainsley whined.

He wanted to comfort her, but his mind raced back to the bruises he had left before. The guilt washed over his shoulders, and pulled him down onto his knees. New thoughts circled around his mind: you can’t be with her because you can’t keep yourself from hurting her.

“What were you thinking?” Edward hissed angrily, holding Ainsley’s arm steady as Jacob used his palm to press against her shoulder blade, sliding it back into place. 

Ainsley screamed. 

“I didn’t mean to – I told her to move!”

“She couldn’t hear you, Embry!” Jacob growled, wrapping an arm around his cousin's shoulder, holding it in place as he pulled her arm forward to pop loudly. 

Ainsley whimpered, tears streaming down her face. 

“Ains, honey –” Embry croaked, watching Jacob and Edward pull her to her feet carefully, trying not to move the left side of her body unnecessarily. They maneuvered past him, carrying her over the steps and into the house. He wasn’t entirely sure if he was welcome inside - that wouldn’t stop him from carrying his hollow body up the stairs after them and into the living room two floors up. 

Jacob settled her on the couch, using his thumb to wipe the excess tears from her cheeks. “It’ll be okay,” he cooed, rubbing his large hand over her spine comfortingly, “we got you.” His alpha turned to look over his shoulder at him, lips pressed into a tight line. 

Obviously not impressed with Embry. At all. 

“Jake,” he started, watching his alpha stand tall now, moving towards him quickly. “I didn’t mean it –”

Jacob’s right fist collided with the side of Embry’s jaw, knocking him backwards the slightest bit. He moved to face Jacob again, slowly bringing his hand up to caress his chin. 

Jacob punched Embry again. 

And again. 

And again. 

After the fourth hit, Embry found himself on his hands and knees, trying to breathe through the tremors. He would not let the animal win, he would not put Ainsley in any other sort of danger. The last thing anyone in this household needed was Embry and one of his temper tantrums. 

“I deserve that.” He said in defeat, sitting upright with his palms on his thighs. The blood trickled from his mouth – or nose, he wasn’t sure which – and the right half of his face throbbed tenderly. Ainsley watched the pair in silence, her face skewered in disdain. “Ainsley, I’m sorry –”

“Don’t.” 

Jacob turned to look at her now, the evident shock written clear across every face in the room. This was the part where Ainsley was supposed to say, ‘ Don’t apologize, you didn’t mean it ’. Instead, Embry’s stomach twisted uneasily.

Edward tightened the strap on her sling, his amber hues watching Embry carefully. “Ainsley, Embry really didn’t mean –”

“Don’t defend him.” She snapped, her blue hues narrowing. “He didn’t come here looking to kill anybody for any other reason other than his fucking jealousy – and look at what happened.”

“No one's dead?” Jacob offered optimistically

“No, but I am fucking immobile and won’t be able to do my job.” She shot back, glaring over to where Embry sat. “You’re aware this doesn’t happen in normal relationships, right? Insecurity and jealousy, yeah – but this?”

“We’re not exactly normal.” He mumbled, looking down at the floor.

“Not an excuse, Embry.”

This time, Embry winced. “I know.” 

Edward stood, placing a hand on Jacob’s shoulder, “We should go check on Maddox.” He mumbled quietly, the pair leaving Embry and Ainsley alone in the living room. 

Ainsley pulled her feet under her body, wincing slightly as she readjusted. They sat in silence for a while, neither of them not really knowing what to say or where to start. But not talking was killing him - they had sat in silence a great number of times, but none had ever been this uncomfortable. 

“Jacob told me – about Maddox being here.” He started, wiping the blood off his chin with the back of his hand. “And as soon as I knew that, I wanted to come here and take him out. Because he was the one nomad that had personal ties to you, and that made me worry about your safety all the time. Everytime you left for work, every time you drove alone – I couldn’t shake this feeling that he was going to come up out of nowhere and take you from me.”

Ainsley blinked, raising a brow, “And then?”

Embry sighed, “And then Jacob told me you were the one that brought him here.”

“He asked to be here.”

“But you brought him. You helped him. You knew how important finding him was to me and instead of just talking to me, you lied. For weeks.”

“Just talking to you?” She asked, leaning forward, “Embry, how was I supposed to talk to you about that? Go ahead, tell me exactly how that conversation was going to go. Because if you think it would’ve went smoother than this, you might be delusional.” 

“I didn’t say that –”

“What was I supposed to say?” Her voice was rising with each word, “‘Hey Embry, I know you totally hate him and on some level for whatever reason are completely threatened by him being here, but we’re going to be cool with Maddox and help him out?’ That wasn’t going to fly.” 

Embry sighed, rubbing his temples slowly as his head dropped into his hands, “No.” 

“Then what?”

“Who even is he?” He asked suddenly, looking up at her with hard eyes. “You spent all this time helping him. If he wasn’t important to you, you wouldn’t have lied to me –”

“I didn’t lie –”

“You didn’t exactly tell me the truth, either!” He growled. “So, who is he?” 

“You don’t get to know.” 

“Why?”

Ainsley laughed once, shaking her head angrily. “Because you don’t get to know, Embry. All of this is because of your insecurity in this relationship. I believe that you love me, but you seem to have a hard time trusting me when I say I love you, too. Maddox isn’t a threat to me, and he isn’t a threat to you –”

“Why are you defending him?”

“Because it’s not normal to want to kill people, Embry. It shouldn’t be important to find him –”

“Look at it from my perspective.” He interrupted, holding his arms across his chest. “Some random dude shows up in town, someone you very obviously had no interest in talking to. Trenton had made it clear he wasn’t good company – so, I had made my opinion on him very clear – supernatural aside. As a person, I’m not his biggest fan, because you aren’t his biggest fan. Him being the one thing my blood is literally programmed to kill was just a bonus.” 

“See, that’s what I mean. That’s not normal – that doesn’t get to be a bonus.” 

“Why not?”

“You don’t get it.” Ainsley let her head fall back against the couch, blowing out her frustration. “And if you can’t get it, then I can’t do this with you.” 

Embry paused. His eyes focused on her face, watching each detail carefully, trying to determine the exact meaning of her words and whether or not she meant them. He waited for her lips to threaten a smile, waited for her cheeks to flush under his gaze – and after several moments, he started listening for her heartbeat. 

Smooth and steady. 

Embry felt the first tug at his heartstring, and then another. In the next five seconds, his heart felt as though it were shrinking, physically causing his chest to tighten and his stomach to flip uneasily. He anticipated that she would be angry with him, sure. He deserved that. He expected that she would call him childish, and foolish – again, he deserved that. 

But Embry Call had not expected the one person on this planet he loved more than anything else to decide he was not worth fighting for. 

You were never good enough of a man for her. 

Embry felt the heat slowly release and disappear; suddenly he was freezing. His bare arms and chest erupted in goosebumps, his heart sinking into the pit of his stomach as he repeated it over and over in his mind:

You aren’t good enough. 

You can’t be what she needs.

You’ll never come back from this. 

Embry’s hands trembled, not in anger, but in sadness. He brought them to his face and tried to look anywhere but her eyes. 

A lot had happened to Embry over the last decade: he turned into a giant dog. He found someone he learned to genuinely love – and she broke his heart. His bones had been broken, he had been torn into shreds, he had recovered from everything he thought might break him and yet he stood, heartbroken with tears streaming down his cheeks in front of the person fate had decided was his forever.

And his forever couldn’t handle him. 

His forever didn’t want him. 

Couldn’t be with him because of who he was. 

Embry wanted to change for the better, to be a better man for her. But he was certain there were parts to him he wouldn’t think he should have to change – that he could change. He controlled his temper (for the most part), came home at half-decent hours and always ensured the pantries were full and stocked with food. 

But the part of him that wasn’t in his control, something that had to do with his biological DNA, was the part she disliked the most and it was the main reason why she still kept him at arm’s length. Maybe she had never intended on being his forever – maybe she only wanted to be his now. 

Embry pursed his lips, his hands running down his face, simultaneously wiping the tears from his cheeks and eyes. He exhaled slowly, trying to calm himself before he bothered speaking. “If that’s what you want.” He whispered, completely defeated. 

Ainsley didn’t respond. She tore her eyes from his and cleared her throat, looking down at the sling that her arm rested in. That was more than enough confirmation for him. Embry sniffled once, then stood and turned on his heels towards the stairway and shouldered past Jacob – who had been standing in silence behind him for God knows how long. Embry’s feet didn’t stop when he reached the forest – he didn’t phase, he didn’t let the animal take control. Instead he let the bitter air nip at his bare skin, feet dragged through the snow back in the general direction of the reservation. 

It took Embry three hours to navigate his way home. 

It took him another two before he landed on Emily’s couch, unable to speak or think. The pack gathered around him, offering him comfort and words of encouragement. This was his person – they were going to work it out. All he needed to do was remind her why she fell in love with him to begin with.

It wasn’t until the moon sat high in the sky that he decided to bring Ainsley the Jeep, hoping to utilize it as an excuse to talk to her. When he knocked on the door, it wasn’t Ainsley that answered. It was her brothers. If Embry hadn’t known any better, they could’ve almost passed for twins. When requesting to speak to Ainsley, Travis had plenty to say. 

Embry wasn’t welcome at the Black-Johnson household for as long as Ainsley deemed necessary. That she had no interest in seeing or speaking with him. Travis ensured that she had been very clear: no form of contact whatsoever. No texts. No calls. No contact via a third party member. 

It wasn’t until he closed the broken door to his house that Embry realized what exactly he had done, and what exactly he had lost. 

His body no longer belonged to himself. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of her. His heart would break all over again, pulling his chest painfully in all sorts of directions. His chest would tighten, he would struggle to breathe, and the only sort of relief was exerting his energy. His hands ripped at the photos lining the walls she picked out. He flipped the couch, he smashed the table into the television. 

The Keurig he had purchased for Christmas flew across the kitchen into the dining room wall. 

He could hear Jared and Seth outside.

As he made his way up the stairs, he knocked over every item on the steps between the railings. Glass covered the floor in the main hallway. His hands tore apart the sheets on the bed, tossing the shreds onto the floor. He used his lamp as a bat to smash the mirror on his wall, the blood was pounding in his ears as the heat finally returned to his body. He could barely hear the sound of his own breathing over the rushing in his body, his fist colliding with the back of his door four times before he ripped it off the hinges and turned to toss it down the stairs – narrowly missing Jared’s head. 

“What did I do?” Embry cried loudly, rubbing his head roughly before he returned to punching holes along the wall. 

What have I fucking done?

[thatpunnyperson]

Yo this should be made with lime juice instead of lemon. Also white onion instead of red onion.

I'm sure the red onion and lemon juice is some weird regional variation, but I have had lengthy conversations with folks from all over Mexico and they have been very firm about the white onion and lime juice aspects. (One of those convos was with a guy from Oaxaca and we talked for easily over an hour about regional cheeses. Man's family owned a small dairy with a dozen or so cows and was very passionate about the proper consistency of cotija lol)

But to anyone looking to make pico de gallo: this recipe is pretty solid. Give it a try! And then give it a try with lime juice and white onion! And see which your palate likes better.

Also, a quick quacamole recipe is:

1 avocado

half a lime

1 tablespoons each of diced onion, chopped cilantro, and tomato

1/2 tablespoon jalapeño

Salt and pepper to taste.

You can also add a clove or two of garlic, finely minced or squished in a garlic press. Also, you can literally just get A Spoon of any size and designate that as the tablespoon for measuring. It's all about finding the ratios you like, so if you make it and think it needs more spice or less tomato, make it different next time. I talk a big game here but there is no salsa or guacamole police who are going to come after you for not following a recipe.

[pokestiltzkin]

Before I left Ilex Forest that morning, I paid my respects at the shrine.

The forest seemed more well-traversed than usual, and I even found someone within who was teaching the technique Headbutt, for knocking Pokémon out of trees. A useful technique for catching Pokémon, but I wonder... Maybe more traffic through the forest due to Rt.36 being blocked isn't necessarily a good thing if it disturbs the biome.

Well, I emerged on the north side on Rt.34, and saw Goldenrod City in the distance. I've never been, so this is quite exciting. On my way up the route I tried to avoid unecessary battles, but did befriend a Picnicker, Gina, who had come all the way from Kanto with her bulbasaur, and I also found a wild Ditto.

Ditto are amazing creatures. They are usually found around Rt.15 in Kanto, but there seems to be a colony here on Rt.34. You would think that with the ability to transform into anything, they'd outcompete everything, but in fact it's quite the opposite. As lobg there're other creatures there, a Ditto can fit practically any ecological niche! I named mine Goop, for obvious reasons.

Once I got to Goldenrod, I headed straight for the skyscraper department store. Someone passing New Bark once told me that the internationally shipped Lemonades they sell both here and in Kanto's Celadon City had the best ratio, most healing for your pokédollar, of any commercially available potion. I'd been saving my prize money from trainer battles specifically to stock up here.

I also stopped by the Goldenrod Science Center. There was another move tutor there, this time boasting Dragon Claw. I told him I'd come back if and when Cloud was ready. He may yet decide to fly home once his wings are healed. We'll see.

Also at the science center was a man looking to trade a ditto for a ditto. His, apparently, was a slightly different color. A ditto's color isn't much of a factor for me, so I happily made the trade, Goop for Sparkles. Goop wasn't with us for very long, but I miss them already. But I think Goop'll be well loved by their new trainer.

As I was exploring around the big city I found the Game Corner, and ducked inside. I found that they were selling Pokémon. Well, there were Pokémon available as prizes if you won enough coins. I didn't gamble, but the Abra were cheap enough that I could simply buy the coins and immediately flip them for an Abra. Curious, they were also giving away Bagon, and another Hoenn Pokémon, Spoink. I wonder if that's where Axel got his...

Say hello to the newest member of the team, Spoons the Abra!

He doesn't know many techniques, but all Abra can teleport! How cool is that? Now, between Grade the Diglett's Dig technique, and Spoons the Abra's Teleport, I'll never have to worry about how far I roam, or how deep underground! It truly is an amazing Pokémon planet we inhabit.

Abra being so cheap speaks to a great availability to find them nearby Goldenrod, which will be a good opportunity for Embers and Naesthes to stretch their special talents to the limit. Normally, trainers don't train against Abra in the wild, but if I can track them down, I'll bet my guys are fast enough to make good practice out of it, even if the wild Abra short-range teleport.

But all that's for later. I bought myself and my team a lunch, and we enjoyed it at Goldenrod's public beach.

More to follow; I plan on challenging Whitney for my third badge this afternoon.

- Kris

[gayleviticus]

smth ive been lowkey thinking abt for a while is the difference between what I'd call 'Good Habits Theory' and 'Energy Theory'

if we take something like making your bed in the morning, Good Habits Theory would hold that even tho it's an action with virtually no practical consequence in itself, it's good because it builds a habit of being organised, and a small task you can do right first thing in the morning to start your day off right. Good Habits Theory reasons from the little to the big; if you can start to build good habits of organisation from small things, you can work towards the big.

On the other hand, Limited Energy Theory would be more inclined to go, well, I only have so much time and energy in any given day - why would I waste it on making my bed? There are a finite amount of things you can do in a day, and small, trivial tasks are an impediment to bigger ones. Energy Theory works by prioritisation; we focus on the big things and ignore the little things where the cost-benefit ratio doesnt work out.

now, ofc, for different people one Theory will be a lot more fitting than others. For people with serious disabilities and particularly chronic illness, Energy Theory is going to rule your life; you just don't have the spoons to be wasting them on making your bed unless you really want to.

but i've found it interesting to think about, bc i think whether you view something through Good Habits Theory or Limited Energy Theory is very subjective. some people think knowing what spoon to use for soup and what hand to hold the knife in is important bc it's building Good Habits; other people think it's a waste of time and limited energy (and again this is probably going to be heavily a disability thing - autistic ppl are much less likely to think there's any value in these arbitrary rules).

but even over time i think it can change. i recently had to start dressing in a long-sleeved shirt, long pants, and tie for work; i would say for a solid month the pressure of having to dress abnormally, find the right clothes, wear a tie, roll up sleeves, deal w restricted movement, having to constantly check your shirt's tucked in felt like a huge Waste of Energy, particularly coupled w acclimatizing to a new environment.

yet now having passed that initial stress, I can appreciate it a bit more thru the lens of Good Habits Theory. it makes me feel better able to adopt a professional persona, it makes me fit in, it makes a very clear distinction between work clothes and other clothes that helps switching off. But I also don't know if I totally swallow the Kool-Aid on Good Habits Theory here either; there are benefits to dressing formally, to be sure, but do they outweight the benefits of dressing comfortably?

i think it's thought-provoking to question all these little customs and think whether what really is promoting good habits, and what's just eating up energy better spent elsewhere

[heeeraldo]

people want recipes, I guess

so following up on the ol' food crimes post I feel like I should specify two things:

my ideal crime is, like, correct on a technical level but just a little upsetting (or more than a little, maybe)

half of those recipes weren't crimes, really.

with that out of the way, let's recipe!

definitely not a crime. these started out as a smitten kitchen recipe, with the following changes:

add a tablespoon or two of malted milk ovaltine to your butter after it melts but before it browns so that it (also) gets toasty.

when your butter has browned to your liking, turn down the heat and add two tablespoons of bourbon or rum or other not-smoky whiskey. allow the alcohol to cook off before proceeding.

add half a teaspoon of cinnamon to the bourbon-butter mixture before adding the marshmallows

melt the marshmallows on medium-low, to avoid breaking down the gelatinous in a way that causes them to lose their bounciness

use a 2:1 ratio of Rice Krispies to cinnamon toast crunch minis for your cereal.

also not a crime. here's a PDF of the recipe, from the "fabulous modern cookies" book. you'll need a thermometer. we didn't have dark corn syrup so I used british golden syrup (which I bought years ago for reasons I don't recall) and it worked out fine?

if you're wondering "why" all I can really say is that you should hold questions until the end. anyway: I've had a passing familiarity with the japanese confection kohakutou for a while but hadn't actually made it. I found a tutorial and a source for horchata flavoured extract and also stirred in powdered cinnamon (for versimilitude) and a little edible glitter (for flair). This one you'll want to make a couple days in advance (at least) so it has time to dry out and develop the crystallized sugar layer on the outside of the jellies.

honestly I was expecting this to be received with more, uh, general dismay but people seemed pleasantly surprised than anything.

I started with an NYT basque cheesecake square recipe but I didn't think there'd be quite enough demand for a whole 9x13 pan's worth so I halved the recipe and baked it in an 8x8 pan (big ups to this king arthur flour guide.) from there, i made the following changes:

in the crust, I swapped the graham crackers for low-sodium ritz, and added a couple teaspoons of everything bagel spice. I also left out the sugar.

in the batter, I halved the sugar, added a teaspoon each of garlic and onion powders, along with a teaspoon of sesame oil. I split the batter up and added everything spice to 2/3rds of it and poured it on to the crust first, the remaining 1/3rd I spooned on top partially to prevent the 500-degree baking temperature from burning anything that might have floated to the top but also to further the ruse that it was a perfectly regular plain cheesecake.

if you've made it this far, thanks for reading! tune in next time when I dig up the photo of neapolitan mashed potatoes and use it as a way to complain about caramelizing onions.

[thiscouldtastepresentable]

This will be my first recipe here. I know tumblr's an odd place to put recipes, but I thought why not anyway, you know?

Now for my lengthy life's story and how this homey, warm recipe was inspired by some old family dish that is close to my heart...Just kidding, I pulled this out of my ass the day before I made it for the first time. This version is slightly updated. It should be SCD (Specific Carbohydrate Diet) compatible, as my UC (Ulcerative Colitis) requires me to be on it.

Chicken and Veggie Stew

I would like to preface this by saying this is enough to feed probably six people one helping or two people multiple helpings. yyou will need to adjust amounts of ingredients accordingly if you are seerving a large group. Most people will be smart enough to factor that in, but I'm posting this on the internet where people are generally pretty damn stupid and need the painfully obbvious explained to them in great detail.

That said, in big noticeable text, if you are one of the smart few, enjoy the recipe. If you're one of the dumb ones, leave this post alone and just get take out, you shouldn't be playing with knives and stoves anyway. It's been a while since I've made it, but it's stew not rocket science. You can manage, I have faith in you.

Ingredients:

Celery (I don't actually like celery, so I only added a few stalks, but you can add however much you want)

Onion (a whole-ass, good sized one)

Carrots (you can use big ones and cut them up, or you could be lazy like me and just use baby carrots)

Mushrooms (I used shitake, but I doubt it makes too much of a difference. I don't cook enough with mushrooms to know for sure, though) (as an extra note, I used different mushrooms last time, and it made a difference. Use shitake)

Zucchini (three to four small or one to two big)

Squash (I used delecata this time) (you can also use butternut or acorn but I'd recommend dumping the squash in at the very beginning if you do to make sure it's really soft and starting to disintegrate, it is a natural thickener that way)

Chicken (if you're trying to be health conscious, use breasts. I, however, happen to have a surplus of thighs, so I used those. I think i ended out using eight very small ones to get a meat-to-veg ratio my fiance was happy with)

Chicken Broth (generally, it's recommended that everything is homemade, and that is normally best, but I didn't have any and I found a brand that treats me ok, so I used that.) (I used a 16oz container of Kettle & Fire Classic Chicken Bone Broth)

Olive Oil (I used extra virgin)

Butter (unsalted, half a stick. If you're trying to be healthier, use ghee, or i guess cut the butter completely, but that last one will affect taste)

Black Pepper (to taste)

Salt (to taste)

Italian Seasoning (be aware that different brands have different blend of spices in them. I used Simply Organic brand) (to taste...basically this whole recipe is to taste)

Taragon (to taste)

Minced garlic (measure that shit with your heart, not a spoon or cup. Galic powder to taste works just as well)

Here We Go, Everybody:

I had picures for this but they've been lost to the depths of my phone gallery, so, uh...we'll just go in assuming you have the ability to see to some extent. (Side Note: 20/20 vision and a neurotypical brain is not required to make this recipe work)

Roughly chop the mushrooms

Cut the rest of the veg and meat into bite sized pieces (about 1in chunks)

Heat the pot (medium heat I think) and put the butter in to melt

Cook the mushrooms, season with some salt and pepper

Add the chicken and minced garlic (and olive oil if needed, maybe a tablespoon max. I've mentioned this before, but I honestly measure nothing, so I can't be sure)

Season with the taragon, salt, pepper, and italian seasoning (again, I mention, all to taste)

When chicken is mostly cooked, add the celery and onions (add more oil if needed)

Cook for a few minutes, then add the carrots, zucchini, and delecata squash, cook for a short time, season more if needed

Add the broth (and extra water if you need it) and simmer until everything is fully cooked, adjust seasoning if needed

Extra Note: As I said above, if you use another type of squash-as I have had to use butternut and acorn before in this recipe-you will need to put the squash in the pot pretty much right away with the mushrooms or chicken to get it to the same level of squishy doneness as you would if you used the delecata.

[valgasnewsthings]

Sweet remedy for forces restoring.

 400 gr of nutrition lard, 400 gr salt free butter oil, 8 eggs, 100 gr of cacao powder, 100 gr of chocolate, 400 gr of honey,.Rub  eggs with honey, slowly adding cacao, after rub in mass butter oil, mix till same mass. All mix with melted lard .Shred  chocolate, add in mixed mass. Rub good all, cool, use within month one tea.sp. fir 3 times/day  after meal, in a month use dessert spoon, after on one tbl.sp. Use within  3-4 months, taste remedy, children's are enjoying, but result is perfect ,that for weak organism, for restoring , in bronchitis, cold.

Stroke prevent.

As today from 25-35 y.old are signs for atherosclerosis having, but better is prevent it and not lead till stroke.As of embolia, hypertension , cholesterol light, obesity, smoking,  thrombosis risk  a stroke happening and stress is importance factor.Stroke   happening very unexpectedly  ,like thunder, through clear sky, but symptoms before attack are headaches, weakness in hands, dizziness, shakiness for steps. And very hard and dangerous dizziness on lie position.

A put hand s of patient and own big finger on the top, direction is below, and check temperature by touching in three points as close to the wrist, middle, elbow close. If one hand is colder ,than other, thus a sign for non favourable a brain.

An importance here is meal, animal fats changing on vegetable as of liver, brain, caviar, fromage, creams, eat more greens, fruits, wild herbs.

Herbal tea strengthening vessels, vessels are elast, activating brain work.

With micro elements, bio active substances , and benefit tea with herbs as balsams.In porcelain teapot put chopped hypericum, coltsfoot, oregano, fruits hibiscus, tea as one to ten a water ratio, infuse 20 min, use warm with sugar or honey.

from Valga s health news,gardening,and cooking ,and beauty . https://ift.tt/wDH4BnC via https://ift.tt/7TEDMOP

[daily-coloring]

Best of 2022 - Songs

This year sampling came back and I’m grateful it did. More and more artists are using it in a clever way, which is great. Latino music also got a big part in 2022′s favorites and I’m happy for them. I’m still not really into many rap music, I think I just adore the old-school ‘90s style of rapping. Less anger, more melody, more instruments. 

01. Tove Lo - 2 Die 4 - “You don't look like in your photo. You're prettier than that. Now I kinda wish that you said so. Would've put in more effort ...” Oh, I feel her pain. I hate online dating apps so much.

02. Rosalia + The Weeknd - La Fama

03. Marlon Williams - Don’t Go Back

04. Royksopp + Jamie Irrepressible - Sorry - This song always makes me cry no matter what. 

05. Josef Salvat - The Drum

06. The Smile - Speech Bubbles

07. Tove Lo - No One Dies From Love - “ We were so magical, why end this way? I know you're furious, yeah, just like me. You got good reasons, but I do too. What really happened here? I wish I knew...” Exactly what happened this year with me. 

08. The Weeknd - Sacrifice

09. Walt Disco - Macilent

10. Tamino - The First Disciple

11. Thomas Azier - Pelechian

12. Beyonce - COZY

13. The Wombats - If You Ever Leave, I’m Coming With You - Somewhere I came across a review where they said, it’s the most toxic lyrics this year. Which part? I couldn’t find it. 

14. Belle and Sebastian - Unnecessary Drama

15. Blaue Blume - Country- “Wanna be a part of the hype, But I’m loosing balance. Fuck it I’m done trying to hide. Faking that smile. I just wanna go for a ride, Out of this city, When you put on “Wuthering Heights”. I can’t help flying...”

16. Charlotte Adigery + Boris Pupul - Ceci n’est pas un cliche - Best gig I have been in this year. Unforgettable. 

17. Daniel Avery - Ultra Truth

18. Fontaines D.C. - I Love You

19. Harry Styles - As It Was

20. Marian Hill - Visions of You

21. Empress Of - Save Me

22. Rosalia - Candy

23. MO - Kindness

24. New Kids On The Block + Rick Astley + Salt’n’Pepa + En Vogue - Bring Back The Time

25. Rina Sawayama - Frankenstein

26. Skunk Anansie - Can’t Take You Anywhere - “Can't take you anywhere, 'Cause you'll just do it again. I can't take you anywhere, 'Cause you'll get messy with all my friends....”  Second best gig this year. Loved every minute of it. 

27. Tove Lo - How Long - She did brake my heart so many different ways this year. Fuck you!

28. Tamino - You Don’t Own Me

29. Working Men’s Club - Ploys

30. Yves Tumor - Secrecy is Incredibly Important to The Both of Them

31. Sondre Lerche - Cut

32. Pabllo Vittar + Rina Sawayama - Follow Me

33. Nilufer Yanya - Chase Me

34. Moderat - Easy Prey

35. Mitski - Love Me More

36. Lyndsey Lawlor - Pretty - “My Job Is To Be Pretty”

37. Leila - Who We Be

38. Get Well Soon - One For Your Workout

39. Florence + The Machine - My Love

40. Elefánt - Tó

41. Everything Everyting - Leviathan

42. Spoon - The Devil & Mister Jones

43. Submerge + Virgil Enzinger - It’s Almost Like it Never

44. Beyonce - Break My Soul

45. Archive - We Are The Same

46. The Fear Ratio + Ella Fleur - Lacovset

47. Honey Dijon + Annette Bowen + Nikki-O - Downtown

48. Lake Haze - Xyleac

49. Madrugada - Nobody Loves You Like I Do

50. Marian Hill - Little Bit

51. The Smile - Pana-Vision

52. Men I Trust - Billie Toppy

53. Stabbing Westward - Cold

54. The Wombats - Worry 

55. Walt Disco - My Dear - “ I've learnt not to pretend, But I am sad that some things weren't said. I believe time was good for us And how we felt helped us love around here. My dear...”

56. Benjamin Clementine - Copening

57. The Weeknd - Gasoline

58. Belle and Sebastian - Talk To Me, Talk To Me

59. Polica - Alive

60. Romy + Fred Again.. - Strong

61. Pátkai Rozina + Benkő Dávid - Partokon

62. Shea Coulee - Let Go

63. Off Night - Young

64. Purity Ring - Neverend

65. Alice Boman + Perfume Genius - Feels Like A Dream 

66. Caterina Barbieri - At Your Gamut

67. Drool - Misery

68. Elefánt - Kardhal

69. Fontaines D.C. - Roman Holiday

70. Tove Lo + SG Lewis - Call On Me

71. Rosalia - Saoko

72. Orson Hentschel - Antenna Window

73. Oliver Sim - Never Here

74. Mykki Blanco + Diana Gordon - Your Love was A Gift

75. Marlon Williams - Promises

76. Local Suicide - Moustache

77. Billie Nomates - Balance is Gone

78. Caroline Polachek - Sunset

79. Cheat Codes + Space Primates + GASHI - Memory

80. Hot Chip - Hard To Be Funky

81. Kathryn Joseph - What is Keeping You Alive Makes Want To Kill Them For

82. Hercules & Love Affair - Grace

83. Jockstrap - Jennifer B

84. Florence + The Machine - King

85. Dillon - <3core

86. XVOTO - Catacumbas

87. Trentemoller - Glow

88. Tanya Tagaq - Teeth Agape - “ Touch my children And my teeth welcome your windpipe...”

89. TAAHLIAH + Tsatsamis - Fall Into Place

90. Sharon Needles - Flamin’ Hot

91. Royksopp + Astrid S - Breathe

92. Q - Stereo Driver

93. Orbital + Sleaford Mods - Dirty Rat

94. Ola Szmidt - C Tactile Afferent

95. Nerina Pallot - Alice At The Beach

96. MO - Live To Survive - “ Watch me, I'm back on my feet. Ready for the century...”

97. Maggie Koerner - Wasted

98. Kilo Kish - SUPER KO LOVE

99. Bodi Bill - Self Improvements

100. Beach House - Superstar

[yellowocaballero]

@anonymousalchemist

Finally finished. Unrelatedly, I got like four hours of sleep last night.

[ORV EPILOGUE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT]

First off I am really interested into your thoughts! I already knew hsy was the author, so I wonder if not having that spoiled would cause a different reaction, but miraculously that was the only spoiler I had. My thoughts are still percolating and I don't want to make a long post even longer. I can go into more detail later, but for right now my thoughts are closer to:

Reading ORV is like sticking your head into a fire hose. It hydraulic presses your brain. It is incredibly overwhelming, not just for the size but for the fact that it just has, like, everything to say. The epilogue stops and outright says all of these things, and the epilogue is also 5% of the book so that's like a 67,000 word epilogue and after like 200,000 words of insane climax, and I was feeling a bit emotionally wiped out by the end jalksdjf. The 'emotional' finale of the book for me was the discovery of the Oldest Dream, which I liked very much and which I felt like brought everything to an even circle. And then it got SO COMPLICATED JLKAJSDLF

The batshit density ratio was so insane I just started accepting it. Okay we are doing another Big Regression. YJH's first life was just fine actually and he went through millennia of hell because he wanted to meet KDJ and also discover the nature of his existence. Here is a closed time loop of creation. Like yes okay YJH is in space now and is mind-faxing the universe Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint. Yes, in case you were wondering, this DOES mean that YJH's existence is at least three different closed time paradoxes/time loops.

Maybe I can't give good thoughts right now because my brain is just like "that was so much". I have other thoughts on pacing and stuff but it is incredibly difficult to approach ORV from a craft perspective, because that means you have to make some sort of judgment on how serialized words maintain tension and good pacing in a story which is not designed to have an ending. I do want to say that I really hope a fandom for a story that spoon-fed you every message and theme and concept it had isn't devoid of critical thinking skills and that people aren't running around here with terrible takes but I do know better.

Also, on a purely narrative level, the way it is in the story, this is not an opinion this is fact, YJH/KDH/HSY is the only thing that makes sense. If that woman is not in this polycule then the time paradox explodes and the universe ends and the other two don't exist. The way these people feel about each other is so far beyond something as banal as being in love with each other they are experiencing human emotion that none of us have ever felt it's like obsession if the universe was obsessed with you in all three directions. They are not obsessed with each other in a human way they are obsessed with each other like we are obsessed with our own happiness or the functioning of our organs or the fight or flight instinct in our cnetral nervous system. They are obsessed with each other like living organisms are obsessed with eating and repoducing. Do NOT relegate hsy to an extra you bastards she is just as vital to the universe, narrative, meaning, and dynamics of the cast and story as YJH or KDJ.

Also ORV is just Homestuck.

dude psyched ur reading orv, insanely curious about ur takes

My friend @charterandbarter put it best.

ORV is pretty fascinating to me. It's really just a self-insert isekai OP webnovel, and it is nothing else. Its medium is trashy and lowbrow, and its genre is almost devoid of high art. OP isekais are 'id' stories, meant to be satisfying and fun and contain very little of substance. ORV is a very well executed OP isekai - it contains the elements of the genre that make it satisfying, it understands why people read the genre and enjoy it, it reproduces those elements very well, and it is very concerned with telling an enjoyable story. ORV really, really loves webnovels and isekais and shitty wishfuillment stories. There's a lot more to ORV than the 'fist pump' moments of kdj doing something cool or pulling a fast one on a shmuck, but those moments are the undoubtedly the point of ORV, as they are the point of all SIOC isekai OP webnovels. And that's the point of ORV.

Metanarrative stories are cheap. Neil Gaiman's written 30 and millenials love waxing philosophical about the power of narratives. These metanarratives tend to describe stories as a theoretical framework through which we understand the world and our lives. Therefore, stories are tremendously important and valuable because they contain the totality of religion, history, culture, relationships, and lives. ORV says this too. But this theory tends to land at mystifying and exalting stories on virtue of them being stories, which I think misses the point. Stories aren't special because they're stories. They're not more sacred for containing our lives. What ORV says is that stories are important, because our lives are important. I like that a lot more.

ORV says that stories are our way of ordering a disordered world. A history, culture, nation, and religion are stories. None of those stories are true or real, because histories/cultures/nations/religions are constructs - they're how we interface with reality. They're created with a purpose, told for a point, pulled together into a narrative, and are satisfying or dissatisfying based on certain factors. ORV's perspective on fiction is deeply seeped in its own nature as 'low art'. There's something very cynical and commercialized about narratives in ORV, and every narrative in ORV is being told for a quick buck or to try and spread an idea for an individual's gains. It's a very unromantic, unimpressed view of narratives and fiction. It's pretty much the only way a SIOC OP isekai webnovel like ORV can talk about it without being disingenuous. And it's remarkably raw and visceral as a result, because ORV loves SIOC OP isekai webnovels like kdj loves yjh. Fiercely, insanely, like breathing, exactly for what it is. No pretensions.

It's bizarre, because ORV is about love. It's not about love for anything that deserves it. Not for a story with a lot of literary merit, a main character who is a remotely kind or lovable person, or art itself outside of its commercial or philosophical value. kdj really, really, really fucked loved TWS - because it was there, and because it lasted 15 years, and because it was fake, and because it was what he had. He loves yjh because yjh was his only companion in a dark world. That's fiction. Fiction helped him survive, because love is a way of ordering a disordered world.

I'm still reading myself, but ORV seems to be about how we manage to live in a hard world, and how to find it within ourselves to love each other and find meaning in that hard world. I see why kdj's the protagonist: he can find merit in something for existing, and loving it for being there, and he holds onto something because he has it. He sees the value in that. He read it in a book.

TL;DR: ORV is well-executed trashy commercialized art that is so obsessed with trashy commercialized art that it's looped straight back around into being somehow the most raw and visceral depiction of love I've seen in a long time.