#will i do the barneys? YES

[higgs-the-god]

what if they were xogs too........................

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Whatever dude

[pistachi0art]

based on real events

[xreanimatedcorpse]

Hi guys. Tucks hair behind ear. So there’s this 26 year old game and spin-off YouTube series…

[ratfromh]

theoretical physicist turned chainsaw wielding chainsaw ? okay man

[all-pacas]

how would chase react to a surprise baby from a one-night-stand/casual relationship? and then after his freakout, how would he actually handle it? (why yes, i am stealing barneys ending from himym)

"You need to get an abortion. My hospital does them, I can get you in this afternoon."

HAHA no seriously. Chase is a hot mess of abandonment issues and parental trauma: his parents were both neglectful and abusive and forced him to take care of his baby sister, and we can clearly see he's not over any of it: he still speaks with anger to Rowan in S1, he wishes his mother had died rather than force him to take care of her in S8. We see it also in how he chases intimacy and connection and wants desperately to be wanted and loved and falls for women quick, but mostly? I think if he found out one of his hookups was pregnant, he'd immediately have war flashbacks: he can't abandon this kid like Rowan did, he can't be a shit parent like his mother was (he can't run away like he did, with his sister), but as much as Chase wants intimacy he's also fucking terrified of it, he's actually kind of standoffish, he doesn't open up easily. He doesn't want to be a Bad Father, he also probably doesn't want to marry or date or be involved with his hookup: he's not Taub, who is a fundamentally decent person (who is just shit at relationships); Chase is a pile of insecurities and issues and throwing a baby at him would probably set off every last one.

We know that he does want kids, at least in the very abstract, but it's different to imagine your hypothetical three kids with your fiance a few days before your wedding when you love and trust her and have every intention of spending your life with her, you know? Chase doesn't really show much interest in getting married or relationships in the abstract (compare Cameron, who defines herself by her relationships, and Foreman, who is always dating someone). He doesn't open up easily. Once he's there, yes, absolutely, he'd be thrilled with a pregnancy. But with a stranger? I think that freakout doesn't stop. I think he immediately starts imagining the kid being left on his doorstep and him being forced to take care of it alone and it ruining his life. I think he remembers meeting his hookup at the bar and starts worrying she's a useless drunk. I think he starts thinking of his father and not wanting to abandon this kid, but also immediately hating and resenting it for needing him to not abandon it. I don't think he'd enjoy it at all. If the mom refused to get an abortion, I think his best case scenario is paying child support and never looking at or interacting with the kid because it brings up way too many issues. <3

[where-is-adrian-shephard]

Adrian is on a date with Gordon and Barney. Gee Adrian, how come Valve lets you have two boyfriends?

[duckapus]

Got an idea for a scenario in my Smash Academy thing.

The Mario Bros set up an obstacle course to teach the kids the finer points of platforming, and Elanore's certain she's got it in the bag since she's based on the Jumpman himself. In fact, she'll probably have the second-best time out of all the students (the best time is out of the question because Bullet exists). And in all fairness her pride is deserved, as she ends up going through the course with just as much ease as the Bros did when they demonstrated it...

...and then she misses the last jump and falls in a pit. It wasn't even a particularly hard jump, she just happened to misjudge the distance a little.

So. She just embarrassed herself in front of her idol after bragging about how easy it would be. And Rumble and Lester are ribbing her about it because of course they are. And somebody happens to point out that she isn't actually based on Mario the way everyone else is based on their counterparts, she just happened to kinda-sorta look like him either by coincidence or because her designer took some inspiration from The Company Mascot.

And, well, she's stubborn, so she tries the course again.

And again.

And again.

She ends up completely obsessed, running the course every chance she gets, filling notebooks that should have her schoolwork and invention ideas with diagrams and calculations to analyze her failed attempts and figure out the solution. Because there are a lot of failed attempts.

It gets even worse over time since the building frustration and stress and the eroding self-confidence and... just about everything else, means she starts messing up on the rest of the course too, until eventually she can't even manage the first jump, let alone finally reach the flagpole. By the end of what would probably be a montage of All That she's become a bundle of nerves who's convinced she can't do anything right, especially not achieve her dream of actually being in a game.

Obviously her friends have been worried about her this whole time, Barney especially, so they've come up with a plan to rebuild her confidence and skills.

...Said plan involves Rumble "kidnapping" Barney and luring Elanore into reenacting the original Donkey Kong arcade game.

Because 1) if she wants to be like Mario, why not start where he started, and 2) from what they can tell the root of the problem is that she started overthinking things after that first failed jump, and if she's focused on saving Barney and kicking Rumble's ass she can't be paralyzed by her calculations and insecurities.

This actually works, reigniting her confidence, and after actually taking care of herself and a quick training montage involving levels from other Mario games she's ready to give the obstacle course one last try.

She doesn't manage to do it as fast or flawlessly as she did the first time, but she still does pretty good, and she actually makes the jump and finishes the course this time.

[worldlydesiretemple]

cowboy barney is fun okay. it's cute as hell. bro drinks beer he goes out to the bar a night on the town with a cowboy hat on hes got gayass lil boots with spurs and has probably dreamed of wanting to own a horse

[probablyaseamonster]

Rewatching DE:PP has reenflamed my belief in the conspiracy theory that the common trope in children's media of evil alternate versions of characters being goth/emo/punk/other alt styles is essentially a psychological smear campaign; an attempt to imprint upon their viewers the message that alt people are mean or morally bankrupt so that children learn to look upon these people with disdain and suspicion and perhaps even a hero vs villain complex, all to prevent the new generations from banding together and joining the rebellion against the consumerist dystopia that the people who lord over the creators of those media want to enforce.

... I blame Netflix. DE:PP is too progressive for this shit.

[docnukes]

2 tickets to the barbie movie please

[angels-heap]

Another one of the AO3 comment hall of fame. None of these words are in the Bible.

[kiwiana-writes]

Fake fic title - Challenge Accepted

Title: Challenge Accepted

Summary: Alex narrows his eyes, shoving the rag he's holding in the back pocket of his jeans. If Fox thinks his sad little soc vibes give him a chance in hell of beating Alex in a drag race, he's got another thing coming.

[Fake Fic Ask Game]

[waloeders]

still ill but powered through work meeting can i get a yahoo and a barnabas kiss

[samaraxmorgan]

Crack JJK headcanons but it’s all early 2000s uncle Sukuna:

The spiritual successor to Crack JJK headcanons based on nothing but vibes. Send me your own silly headcanons I would absolutely love to read them!!

2003-2007

He desperately tried to make Yuuji’s first word be “fuck.”

He got so sick and tired of having to watch the same Barney VHS tape while babysitting that he ripped the film out and blamed it on toddler Yuuji.

Yuuji always begs him to draw his tattoos on him every time he babysits.

One time toddler Yuuji broke Sukuna’s flip phone in half. Sukuna was too impressed to be mad at him for it.

2008-2013

He brought five year old Yuuji to a Slipknot concert and had him up on his shoulders with big noise cancelling headphones on… and also “forgot” to ask Jin permission to bring him beforehand.

He tried to do a trick on Yuuji’s razor scooter and accidentally broke it.

He took Yuuji with him to Warped Tour.

He got really embarrassed when Jin showed Yuuji his high school yearbook photos of him with a mohawk.

He has a leather jacket with pins and patches all over it and Yuuji LOVES wearing it when he comes over.

2014-2017

He cut Yuuji’s hair when he got into middle school and told Jin “I’ll be damned if my nephew has a bowl cut.”

When Yuuji got into a fight at school he asked him “did you win?” When Yuuji said yes he took him to get ice cream.

He had a white iPhone and dropped it, cracking the glass on the back; Yuuji colored in the cracks with neon pink sharpie.

The first time Yuuji snuck out Sukuna chewed him out when he got back home, telling him “I don’t care if you sneak off, but you fucking tell me next time.”

Whenever Yuuji gets in trouble at school, Sukuna is always the one to pick him up because the principal is afraid of him.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

I was wondering if you can do Yandere dick and Tim with a Childe reader who seems to favor Tim over Dick.

Just imagine Tim finding this little Kid following him like a little duckling and thinking that he is soooo cool!

No matter how much Dick makes the kid like him Tim is always his favorite!!

(It will be funny if Batsis who doesn't like Dick at all is also around. He will be losing his mind!!)

A/N:Oh my gosh yes! Lowkey Batsis and Tim being co-sibling-parents lolll. Honestly Tim and Batsis duo is so iconic. I need to do more. I love them. look at him...he's such a good brother.

Here's the thing, Dick is the honorary dad of the family. Like he's changed diapers, taught how to tie shoes, walked his siblings to school and gone to graduations... All the siblings go to him with their problems before Bruce.

Now new baby alert,,,,Dick is in full papa mode and is ready to do the same with batchild and is so hurt when the kid screams in his arms. Like anytime he's near or picks the child up like this kid is in distress. O my gosh I feel so bad. Poor Dick.

Dick is seriously trying so hard to make batchild love him but nothing he does works. Dick could have cocomelon on full blast and wearing a Barney costume and this kid will be trying to get away.

Eventually like Jason has to be like..."dude, please just let someone else take care of em'. They need more time to adjust to you."

It's because of his blue eyes isn't it? Dick unintentionally has the Miley Cyrus blue eyed stare and the kid cannot take it. lol

All jokes aside it's really not that bad but it's clear that Dick isn't their favorite. There's definitely cute moments where Dick is sitting down with batchild in his arms and they are munching on some snacks. Or Dick is singing to them or doing a fun trick with them in the air. But ultimately the kid seems to gravitate to other siblings instead.

Dick doesn't really know how to function though. I mean we've seen just how insane he is with batsis. Only problem is he cannot be as forceful with the child in fear of scaring them.

I think the batchild and Tim situation won't get to him until he sees batsis, Tim and batchild all together.

The whole Tim obsession is out of the blue. Like Tim is almost always in his room or in a dark corner somewhere doing research. He decides to come out one evening as he had a bit of time after solving some cases...

I like to think Tim is a super geek who probably wears cartoon pajama pants or silly slippers and it caught the kid's attention so he's waddling towards him.

Tim is kind of like...what is happening? What do I do with this young human? He's kind of awkward with the kid at first but the kid is just loving himmm. Tim will try to explain the character that it is on his clothes to the kid, and they will try cutely mimicking him and Tim's heart just melts.

"Oh uhh...this is Link from..well Zelda.."

"lwink...frwum zweldwa..?'

The kid is dead set on sitting with him during dinner too. Like they climb into his lap and starting eating off of his plate. It's perfectly okay because Tim doesn't eat much at all so he didn't mind the kid messing the plate up.

He stays out in the living room a little longer than usual that night to play with the kid a little, it's super sweet.

I like to think Tim and batsis are rather close siblings so there are times where Tim will be coupe up in this room and batsis will come in with batchild and pull him away from his work. Batchild loves playing pretend with the two, specifically knights and dragons and hospital. It's nice seeing Tim a bit out of his element and having fun.

Sometimes batkid will just fall asleep in Tim's arms as he's working late. Speaking of, Tim takes to the kids like they're his little apprentice. Oftentimes you'll find them together with tons of case files out and the kid is grabbing items or pinning things on the board for Tim. Seriously that child's reading level went from first grade to 10th in the span of a few months lmaooo

But there's often times where batsis and Tim are with them. Quickly they become the kid's favorite siblings and they want them to do everything. Like when the kid is hurt, they'll cry for either. If the kid need to get ready for school, they want either to help. If it's movie night, the kid is squished in-between the two. You guys basically broke the honorary parents and it's so adorbs.

But this is where I said Dick is not having it. I feel like Dick was never threatened by Tim until now. Like sure Dick knew that Batsis and Tim were kind of close in a way and he was okay with batkid taking a liking to him...but all three of you being your own little squad is killing him.

He hates being excluded and not being needed so he's like ripping his hair out. He'll try inviting himself into the group and like the kid is just ignoring him...

Dick will try to open a juice box for the kid and now the kid doesn't even want it anymore like....bruh I wants Timmy to open it for me :(

Honestly I am not even sure really how Dick copes...Like I just feel like he doesn't explode because like I said he doesn't wanna scare the kiddo but idkkkk