#will have to do the final stats roundup!!

[nametakensff]

I am still alive 😭

[anincompletelist]

2023 writing roundup :D

hi all! thank you to @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @rockyroadkylers @songliili @littlemisskittentoes for the tags on this! I loved getting to go back through all of the works you guys have shared with us this year (and hearing about some of your upcoming projects as well!)

I realized that I did do a year in review post, but that was mostly stats, so I figured I'd participate in this one as well since it'd be nice to have all of my fics linked in one place for organizational purposes!

thank you guys for everything this year, I can't wait for all that's coming in the next one! <3

sarah / anincompletelist xx

Sure As The Stars in the Sky | E | 20k

It shouldn't matter that Alex has been present for each and every one of Henry's most important life milestones, sometimes the singular catalyst for them. It shouldn't be important that he's grown to be more familiar to Henry than even some of his own family members, that part of him is burrowed so deeply into Henry's subconscious that he can taste it sometimes, that even when Alex crashes in, spirited and passionate, it feels like an easy exhale; like coming home. It shouldn't matter, but it does.

praying our bridges don't make waves | E | 82k

When June gets sick, Alex knows he'll do whatever it takes to make sure she gets the care that she needs. Even if that means convincing his nemesis/sexuality-crisis-inducing/clandestine hook-up partner/somewhat of an actual friend to pretend to be his soulmate in order to pull it off. It's both more and less complicated than it sounds.

kiss me like you've got nowhere to be | M | 3k

In the three years they’ve lived together, he thinks it’s safe to say that he and Alex have gotten… close. The kind of close that other people like to point out sometimes when they’re in public, and not just their overinvolved older sisters and overly suggestive friends. A few of Alex’s colleagues have made comments when Henry shows up at the holiday parties or after a stressful work day to make sure Alex is eating and staying hydrated, just the same as Henry’s clients each know little bits of odd Alex-facts that he lets slip sometimes in his sessions. Regardless, it’s all terribly domestic, and the twinge of satisfaction Henry gets when Alex’s dates don’t go well is most definitely not appropriate, even if they are kind of in a weird, probably mostly platonic, very codependent relationship. If he’s not careful, Henry’s going to get himself so, so hurt one of these days.

I feel the beating of your heart, I see the shadows on your face | M | 18k

It’s certainly not what Alex would have predicted a few days prior. If someone had told him he’d be tenderly embracing his self-imposed enemy after switching bodies with him for seventy-two hours and embarking on an unintentional journey of self discovery and then finally finding their way back to each other to ask for a True Love’s Kiss that may or may not break the curse that flipped their lives upside down - Well, Alex would have told them to fuck off.

but I can count on you to tell me the truth when (I've) been drinking and you're wearing a mask | M | 8k

The room goes quiet again, Alex too focused on the sound of his own breathing. He’s already started, he figures, and the person still hasn’t left. But this next bit is a little more personal, and Alex isn’t positive what the parameters are for one-sidedly conversing with a masked stranger about your best kept secrets at a halloween party when you’re so drunk that the floor is beginning to look like it may open up and swallow you whole. Isn’t sure if that might be better anyway.

who ya gonna call? | M | 7k

Henry is a ghostwriter. Alex is a little confused on what exactly that means.

I'll bet it all on me and you, I'll bet it all you're bulletproof | M | 11k

“Let’s do this,” he says. “Let’s,” Alex agrees, pushing down on the handle until the door swings open. “After you, boyfriend.” This is most definitely not his finest idea. Henry usually practices much better self preservation skills. Much better common senseskills. He steps over the threshold of Alex’s room and it feels like sealing his fate. They’re doing this for Alex to win over their bosses in a lighthearted game with a harmless lie, but Henry can’t fight off the bitter knowledge that, regardless of how tonight goes, Alex will be fine, but Henry has so much to lose.

(+ listen to the podfic here!)

but if you could see us from a distance you'd know I've always been so close to you | E | 10k

Objectively, standing half-soaked from rainwater with a stitch in his side and an uncomfortable, raging hard-on outside his worst enemy’s door is not Henry’s finest moment. It’s not even on the list. [or, henry is afflicted with a curse-gone-wrong that stipulates that only his sworn enemy, alex claremont-diaz, can touch him.]

you make it look so easy, I know it's not | T+ | 8k

Bea’s to his left, speaking frantically on the phone with who Henry hopes is the fire brigade or someone else trained to deal with these— situations. In front of him, Pez is fumbling frustratedly with the water hose, showcasing his colorful vocabulary with a flourish of jerky hand movements and chaotic pacing. On either side of the fence, his neighbors are peaking over the sides to ask if everything’s okay, and Henry feels the resolution to make a good first impression crumbling and slipping rapidly out of his grasp. Even David watches on from inside the house, his sage eyes and patriotic bowtie appraising the scene and looking back to Henry as if to say I told you so. And the fryer — the fryer itself is up in flames, thick gray smoke swirling up into the air and soaring high above the tree line now. In the distance, the echo of sirens. Henry may faint right here, in the middle of his backyard at his new home before he's even unpacked, with all the neighbors and his family and friends watching on, on his first official American Thanksgiving. It is, by all means, not what he’d envisioned for the day.

somehow I'd get by (part one) | E | 13k

Henry should have known, probably, that accepting a job offer from Pez would have its nuances. It’s his own fault that he hadn’t asked more questions, that he hadn’t regarded it as a red flag when he’d had to sign several very thick NDA’s at the onboarding, when Pez had smiled so big and so secretively when they went out to celebrate afterward that Henry had to physically look away from it. Though he’s new to the city, he’d thought that working as an accountant wouldn’t offer all that many opportunities for any sort of overly odd, eclectic jobs. So he’d shown up on his first day at the provided address, a big, nondescript brick building in front of him with a duffel bag full of his sign-on papers, his computer, and a framed photo of his dog, David, ready to take up its rightful place on yet another boring, blank desk. He’d made it all of two steps inside the door before realizing that he’d just accepted a contract working for some kind of sex club. He’d stood his ground despite the burning flush that bloomed on his cheeks and then, miraculously, he’d stayed.

take my hand if you can take me as I am | E | 14k

It would hurt less, Alex guesses, if he wasn’t head over heels for the guy he’s supposed to be fucking through an ancient one-sided sex curse with that was partially — a lot, actually — his own fault. But. It’s not like there’s a fucking handbook. Alex has looked. 

if you take a life, do you know what you'll give? | M | 9k

It would have been one thing had Alexander’s job description been simply to stay in his hotel room and operate the funds covertly, an exceedingly safe distance away from Henry and any of Le Chiffre’s men. As it is, they’d instructed Alex to play the part of Henry’s date for the night, subsequently granting him the access he’d need to the private cardroom within the casino in order to report back to headquarters the funds needed in the precise moment Henry would need them. It's too dangerous, and he knows it. Henry's had a lot of blood on his hands in this life, but he refuses to have Alex's as well.

miles to go, but we're almost home | M | 5k

Texas is a bit of a last minute decision. As in, at the actual last minute, Henry had begged them at the station for whatever ticket they had left to get out of the city, shoved his credit card at them expeditiously, and promptly boarded the vessel just as the doors slid closed behind him. Turns out it’s the best decision he’s ever made.

something borrowed, something blue | (to begin posting jan 1!)

dom!alex part two

dom!henry

+

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE TO WITNESS ME SCREAM INTO THE VOID! this space has meant so much to me since I first read the book when it came out, but even more so once I started writing again these last few months. 2022/2023 was a very long, very lonely time in my life and I just didn't have words for a while. when the movie came out, I remembered how much I loved the book and finally opened a blank page again! I needed an outlet, and I found so much more than that <3

PLEASE consider this an open tag to brag on yourselves, but also (no pressure) --

@firenati0n @affectionatelyrs @kiwiana-writes @daisymae-12 @read-and-write- @inexplicablymine @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @wordsofhoneydew @nocoastposts @firstsprinces @sparklepocalypse @ninzied @getmehighonmagic @iboatedhere @magicandarchery @matherines @zwiazdziarka @raysletters @cricketnationrise @xthelastknownsurvivorx @gayrootvegetable @lizzie-bennetdarcy @eusuntgratie @whimsymanaged @priincebutt @duchessdepolignaca03 @leojfitz @user-anakin @anchoredarchangel @tinyarmedtrex @rmd-writes

cheers to a wonderful year, friends! I am so grateful for all of you and for this space that we've created to share and connect with each other and the art that inspires us. here's hoping 2024 has a lot more of that! <333

xx

[handwrittenhello]

FAQ/PLMM ROUNDUP

Will you do another poll with [x]?

Maybe? I totally understand the desire for an unofficial do-over without Vriska, which is the most likely to happen out of all possible options. Please don't ask me to run one just for two characters you want to see go head-to-head, though. Contrary to popular belief, I do use this blog for stuff other than ridiculous polls 😂

I've also been asked to run polls with other themes, like blorbos/

If I do end up running something, it won't be until next week.

I'm really mad that there was suspected botting/interference with Vriska's polls!

Me too, bud. Without being able to see exactly who voted what and when, though, there's no way to prove without a doubt that there was. I believe there was, other people believe there was, some people don't believe there was. That's all fine.

Just don't let this color your enjoyment of the competition or other fans/fandoms. Don't let the minority ruin the reputation of the whole.

How do you know the results/it was a tie/it says the final round was 50/50?

Tumblr doesn't show exact percentages or exact vote counts. Supposedly there's a way with API to show it, but I'm not that tech savvy. The way I made decisions was based off of Tumblr highlighting the winner green after the poll ended.

Various messages of support, saying you had fun, saying you're sorry about botting, etc.:

Thank you! I hope you all had fun as well. And thank you for making this silly contest as popular as you did; I didn't expect this to become SO popular and contentious! To everyone who created fanart/shitposts/meta/etc. about the contest, you're great! I and your meow meow thank you for your service.

If you want to unfollow me now that the PLMM contest is over, bye! Hope you enjoyed :) If you want to stay, I'm mostly a fandom blog, some shitposts here and there. I write and make art too.

Under the cut: the full stats spreadsheet, with some notes.

Fun facts: Harry du Bois ended up with 103,156 total votes across all five rounds, the most out of any character. In second place is Vriska Serket, followed by Howl Jenkins.

The hottest race was the final round. The second-hottest was Harry du Bois vs. Howl Jenkins, and the third-hottest was Prince Zuko vs. Vriska Serket.

I'd have loved to have created a graph plotting the contestants' rise and fall, but frankly, that's way too much work lol. If you happen to do so, tag me!

[lumosatnight]

Year in Review 2023

I did this for 2022 and I couldn't pass up the opportunity for more stats. Thanks @oknowkiss (x) for the tag! Here is my year in review: 2023 edition 🥳

Stats

Word Count: 339,585 (86,974 new)

Hits: 136,378 (68,393 new)

Number of Fics started and finished: 12 over 1k and 49 under 1k

Number of WIPs started: idk... like 10? 20?

Ships I wrote this year (not including background ships): Lots and lots and lots but mostly Drarry (8), Snarry (2), Drarius (2), Fleurmione (2), Lunansy (2), and Cissamione (2)

Favorite ship(s): This year maybe Narlily, Snarry, Luther, Mollytrix

Least favorite ship(s): This year I was introduced to Marylily and Rosekiller and idk they just don't vibe with me.

AO3 Fic Writers/Artists/Creators/Readers who have inspired me and my writing this year:

@itsphantasmagoria for their incredible Drarry video game

@sleepstxtic for her incredible range of fic and nuanced depictions of canon including my fav fic of the year!

@anaxandria-writes for binding my fic!!! I am so grateful and inspired.

@givereadersahug for organizing @hprecfest and always being so joyous and enthusiastic about rare pairs (you will be very missed, my dear 💗)

Countdown

5️⃣ Top 5 works I’m most proud of from 2022 (not necessarily my most popular)

For I have Found Salvation [Snarry, E, 7.1k] — for @snarryauctoberfest with priest Severus and parishioner Harry. My very first Snarry fic!

Of Dreams and Death [Dronarry, T, 2.3k] — for @dronarryfest and had so much fun plopping the characters into the Sandman AU.

up here, i'm floating [Mollytrix, M, 1.2k] — for the @hpsaffics Secret Santa Exchange. This is possibly one of my fav ships. I'm glad I got the chance to write them as angsty as I wanted.

Such a Sweetheart [Fleuratrix, T, 2.4k] — for the HPFC server Untagged Fest. A horror coffeeshop AU!

Kinktober 2023 [Multiship, E, total 15.5k] — technically a series but my first time participating in Kinktober. I was worried I wasn't going to finish all the days in time.

4️⃣ Top 4 current WIPs that I’m most excited to release in 2023

Honestly no idea yet. I have a lot of ideas on the back burner but none that are MUST DO RIGHT NOW. But I will say that I'm excited for bunch of fests like @hptransfest @ladiesofhpfest @hptriadfest and @hp-rarepairs

3️⃣ Top 3 biggest improvements in my writing over the past year

Smut!! I've developed my smut writing a lot. Kinktober really opened my eyes to a lot of kinks as well 👀

Tone: I think I'm getting a lot better at matching tone in my writing for consistent characterizations and building atmosphere

Estimating word count: I've gotten so much better at looking at an idea and predicting how long the final story is going to be.

2️⃣ Top 2 resolutions (ways I wish to improve my writing/blog) for the new year

FINISH A LONGER WORK!! This was on my resolutions from last which I didn't complete lol. It's okay, I'll try again this year.

Create a more consistent writing schedule

1️⃣ Number 1 favorite line I’ve written this year!

Harry Potter has a tiny dick. It’s just a fact of life. The Chosen Microdick, the Small Saviour, the Boy with an Itty Bitty Package. And oh, how Draco loves it.

From The Chosen Microdick [Drarry, E, 500], part of my Kinktober 2023 series and I just love the play on words here. A banging start to a banging series 🤣

Not sure who has already done a stats roundup/fic review/2023 thingy, so I'll leave the tag open.

Happy 2024! 💖

[donnerpartyofone]

4, 7, 15

Thanks pal!

4. I'm looking forward to a bunch of things I guess, although also everything makes me so nervous that anticipation is never untainted! I'm looking forward to my book coming out, even though it has all sorts of little flaws that I can barely prevent myself from spontaneously defending/confessing. I'm looking forward to a blu-ray commentary I'm gonna record soon (can't announce yet) plus a bunch of writing I got assigned, all really cool things but I know how much work they are and I wonder if I'm going to survive it every time! I'm looking forward to a horror event I have to host in a couple weeks; it's insanity, I'm paying $$$ for travel and lodging to be on a stage for probably ten minutes to just sort of be the face of the event and provide "support", but that's what it means to me apparently. I think that I should try to find some longer term things to look forward to, but that will be a whole project, I've always had a lot of trouble with goal formation. I'm always doing one short-term thing at a time and feeling like I barely got away with it.

7. 2023 was really insane. My mental health was crumbling really badly in tandem with our tiny, ridiculous apartment where we had lived for ten years. There were huge ups and downs with the big TBA project I basically gave my life to, that I may never be able to "A" but hopefully some day someone will tell me if it is officially cancelled so I can at least talk about it a little. I also wrote my book and I got a chance to go to London to record my first blu-ray commentary, which was a huge adventure and it happened amidst a bunch of really complicated dramatic events I don't have the space for; it was like, we moved out of our apartment, and somebody died, and I had to get on a plane to another country immediately, and I still have this feeling like I went through a portal to another dimension and when I landed at home again it was in another universe and that's where I've been ever since. I got to do some major writing projects that kind of felt like, well OK I did THIS, maybe it will be alright if I die now. I got to be on the jury of the local horror film festival and that was really awesome...and I'm starting to realize that this roundup makes it sound like I'm an incredibly ambitious and busy professional person who is fulfilling her dreams, but none of this stuff pays the bills and I am chronically unemployed, and I seem to have a lot of cognitive and intellectual problems, and I'm just terrified that I'm going to have to starve to death eventually. Toward the end of the year I tried to go back into therapy (round 3) and the search itself was really frightening, but when I finally picked someone I had made a really bad choice and the ~3 sessions I had with her fucked up my mind so badly, I wasn't OK for like two months. I still need to figure that out though, there's a lot of stuff wrong with me.

15. Personality description, wow. Maybe it would be fun to do one of those Marvel cards with all my "stats". How do I answer this? My instinct is to list all my pathologies, but then I think I should say what I'm like socially, but then I remember that I'm pretty different from one situation to another. I have incredible anxiety and I'm always tired from a lot of heavy duty masking, but the masking is 1 part survival instinct and 1 part compassion for others I would say. Almost all of my relationships are these intense one-on-one bonds, I don't do well in groups or with people who can't sustain a long conversation about one thing. But even with people I really know and love I have trouble being spontaneous, I have to script all my phone calls just in case I suddenly lose my mind. I think a lot of people perceive me as like really tough and self-possessed and even ambitious, which blows my mind; I've had a number of relationships that fell apart because the person came up with the fantasy that I was this bad bitch and then they were disappointed that I'm actually really vulnerable and nervous and incompetent. I'm not completely sure what that's about, but I think it could be partially a "social cues" problem; like sometimes I don't realize that I'm being inappropriately harsh until it's too late, and other times I'm like daring myself to be more honest and frank because I think that I'm too meek and it's not normal and people don't like that and I should practice having more self-confidence...and then I'm mortified when I find out the hard way that I was being inappropriate. But the one thing I can probably say without reservation is that I have a great sense of humor. It's like my prized possession, an incredible survival tool, and it keeps me entertained even when I have nothing else.

[illusivesoul]

2023 Fic Roundup

Was tagged by @imakemywings Thank you :) I'll tag @alyssalenko @celemee @tungstenb @marythegizka and @quietborderline Only if you feel like doing this, of course.

I'll put the blanks here and my answers under the cut. Repeating what imakemywings said: Please note you are by no means required to follow my template or include individual fic stats at all! You can just answer the questions if you prefer .

Total Words Published at end of year: 

Fandoms:

Highest Everything (raw kudos, hits, comments): 

Hits:

Kudos: 

Comments:

New Things I Tried:

Fic I Spent the Most Time On: 

Fic I Spent the Least Time On: 

Favorite Thing I Wrote: 

Favorite Thing(s) I Read:

Writing Goals for 2023: 

.

Total Words Published at end of year: 20,727

Fandoms: Dragon Age and Mass Effect as usual. Started writing some other things for other fandoms but haven't posted them yet.

Highest Everything (raw kudos, hits, comments): 

Hits: I have a big femslash collection that I've been doing since 2022, so I'll ignore that one and use the fics that I posted this year alone. Kinktober 2023 - Day 1: "Flashing" (222)

Kudos: Kinktober 2023 - Day 1: "Flashing" (15)

Comments: Neck Massage (3)

New Things I Tried: I wrote a short fic from the perspective of Rendon Howe, which is something I never thought that I would do. But I had fun getting to delve deeper into his character. Also got to write for some new ships like Vido and Zaeed and Bela and Josie.

Fic I Spent the Most Time On: Of Paragons and Dusters. Exchange fics always take a lot of my time lol.

Fic I Spent the Least Time On: Neck Massage \ A short Kaidan\Steve fic.

Favorite Thing I Wrote: A Divine's Hand \ A Leliana\Justinia fic that I really like how it turned out.

Favorite Thing(s) I Read: "Suitable Indeed" A Leliana\Vivienne fic I got for an exchange.

"To Truly Live" a Maric\Loghain fic

"Royal Flush" a collection of Aria\Jack fics

Writing Goals for 2023: To finish some fics I started in 2020. Hoping to finally close them up and have a sort of blank slate lol.

[lucigoo]

Weekly Roundup: 1st Jan - 7th Jan 2024

Welcome all to the first weekly round up of the year. Hope you all had a good new year ❤

So, I joned the @fanfic-reading-challenge this year, so some of the recs may be out there at times becuase Im dipping my toes in unusal fandoms (for me) but Wolfstar and Bagginshield are still my heart and my beloveds!! So, this week i managed to write 8,543 words, and it doesnt seem a huge amount compared to some weeks for me, but i finished 5 wips. That includes the editing and uploading. Its been a big fiished fic week for me.

So firstly, rec's then mine uner the cut off. Hope you like at least one of all of these! The Haven Hotel - NikiAlex03 (Sirius/Remus, very smutty so mind your tags, but very well written)

Below the Belt - LordOfTheRazzles (Bilbo/Thorin, also smutty but done in such a sweet way twards an injured Dwarven King) @lordoftherazzles

The Elder's Mate - Skadi_Gemini (I dipped my toes into the Yutja/human tag, and i am not disappointed, the world building is amazing!)

kissing lessons - raggedypond (A little oneshot, perfect for looking into a new fandom, YellowJackets)

So, thats the recs and stats, now for mine. 1) We Will Find Our Own Herd, Our Own Family (Sirius/Remus, James/Regulus, Peter/Sybill) The Animal Au ive spoken about before is finally finished, whoop.

2) Lily oh Lily (Mary/Lily, unrequinted) A new sapphic mini series ive written for a friend, only another 16 to come lol

3) Sleep Paraylasis (Sirius/Remus) This was supposed to be for the @hpsnooze but i was sadly too late, but finished it anyway. 4) We Could Do It If we Tried? (Alice/Narcissa) Sad ending, also part of my sapphic mini fics.

5) Defying Death (or at least the ones in charge) (Bilbo/Thorin) this one is precious to me, but i love sassy Bilbo, so im not suprised lol. Anyway. see you next week, happy fandoming!! (PS. If anyone ever knows anymore @s for the recs let me know so i can @ them if they have tumblr 💕)

[catty-words]

finally back home from my family's and ready to put last year to rest with the

2023 fic writing roundup

Total 2023 Word Count: 95,451 published words, but 116,360 words written for the year   Total 2023 Hits: 25,513 Other 2023 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1,272; Comment threads: 198; Bookmarks: 252; Subscriptions: 158.

Total 2022 Word Count: 36,969 published words, but 132,549 words logged for the year Total 2022 Hits: 17,797 Other 2022 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1,910; Comment threads: 111; Bookmarks: 259; Subscriptions: 20.

links and titles to 2023 works

[cw's nancy drew] couldn't help noticing the gold mines glistening in your skin (3,966 words) - a birthday gift for bethany! what if nancy and ace hooked up pre-canon?

[never have i ever] one more last try (4,323 words) - for the girlies* who were/are incensed that the nhie writers had the audacity to make bad benvi sex canon and then UNINTERESTING. *it's me, i'm girlies

[cw's nancy drew] first contact (849 words) - nancy and ace texting can be poetry if you hold my hand and just believe!

[never have i ever] answering machines & how your voice says it’s gonna get back to me someday (3,163 words) - devi and ben's relationship through their first year at university as told by the voicemails they leave each other

[never have i ever] a lie away from getting you into the mood (77,482 words) - i mean. how could i possibly sum this one up? d/b FWB, sure, but also so much more than that. bitty spark 'verse pt 2.

[never have i ever] to nestle deep into the safe-keeping (3,440 words) - in a now time-honored tradition, i wrote rose some smut for her birthday! d/b being soft and in love their first year of university.

[cw's nancy drew] it’ll hurt like a mother when your foot comes out (2,228 words) - drew crew hike to commemorate a real life hike! fun!

Favorite Fic: 'gold mines' is a strong contender, but. you know it's 'lie away'. how could it be anything else? i spent a year and a half writing it and i finished the fuck out of it despite the tornado that stirred up my personal life this year. i don't know that i've ever been prouder of a fic. almost certainly not.

Hardest Fic: also 'a lie away'. the amount of material that i wrote and then scrapped because it wasn't right was A Lot.

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2024? haven't done a prompt game in a while! think it might be time to pull out that song lyric one, i've been gifted some exceptional music that way.

that said, though, when i do have all day to sit down and write, i've found myself more interested in chipping away at something longer-form. then again, it's been a while since i exercised the prompt-filling muscle in my writer brain, and i don't want that muscle to lose definition entirely. we'll see, i suppose.

What was the best thing about 2023? I FUCKING FINISHED 'A LIE AWAY' I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT

What was the worst thing about 2022? woof. i sure did split from my partner of a decade. which has actually been incredibly good for me, but living through it was a bit fucky, as you can imagine.

which makes this a great time to nod at 'answering machines' for being perfect creative fun and getting me out of my head during the worst of the breakup. looking at the title alone can make my brain stutter, though, it's a time capsule from such a tumultuous period in my life. probably doesn't help that i used a song from my unofficial breakup album to title the fic. i love you, 'answering machines'. i cannot fathom rereading you at this time.

Any last thoughts for 2023? i am content. the year was good to me, all things considered.

Goals for 2024

fuck around with devi the vampire slayer

original fiction???

fall head over heels for another show

continue writing devi/ben even if the audience for it dissipates entirely

[zahlibeth]

2023 bingo roundup

new years resolutions don't work for me, but having a bingo card to check every month keeps me thinking about new things. I managed triple bingo this year?! Thoughts about all of them under the cut - may not be of interest to anyone other than me, but it is my blog so

Random other stats books: 17 (+1) most recommended: Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir (sci-fi. man in rocket trying to save earth. best read without further spoilers. enjoy?) most loved: the Rebel Kings MC series by Garrett Leigh which has sent me into full brain rot. queer biker brotherhood - romance and found family and trauma and violence

movies: 21 new favourites: Dungeons & Dragons, Nimona, Red, White and Royal Blue.

tv: 29 different shows, 34 full seasons. 8 partial seasons - some affectionate (actively watching Succession S2, Sons of Anarchy S4), some derogatory (gave up on Picard S3 and Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S1)

Bingo squares A&E visit - read "ER visit". put this one in because up until this year kiddo had found herself in a&e at least once every year. this year? no, husband had a weird heart thing that resolved itself (??? bodies.) and i fucked my wrist by falling over while running with kiddo on her bike, to the point where i needed it x-rayed (it was fine)

appearance change - fucked around with my hair a little, cut it fairly short over the summer, braided it a bit, currently growing it out

redecorated - god so many things. i re-organised the bathroom to be somewhat tidier (and easier to clean!) and also bought a snake plant (she's doing lovely). we finally put up the border in kiddo's room. (she's 5. we bought it 7 years ago. 2016.) and then also bought and put together a bedside table and reading lamp for her. we hung curtain rails and put new blackout curtains in her room (grey) and ours (beautiful bottle green). decluttered half the kitchen and the sides are clean??? and staying tidy??? and then i had a december meltdown and we put together a little bookshelf upstairs to hold puzzles and two giant ones downstairs, ditching the sideboard via facebook marketplace and finally decluttering the living room. we have an ikea trip planned for tomorrow to get a million baskets to organise said bookshelves. also we reorganised the cupboard under the stairs and got a new shelf thing in there, made possible by the clearout i did earlier in the year. and i framed and hung kiddo's amazing penguin on the wall. phew.

new favourite foods - discovered 3 new takeaways that do incredible things + fries. very dangerous. one is colombian street food (loaded sweetcorn dirty fries, tostones), one is straight up fried chicken (spicy fries with hot sauce, cheese sauce and crispy onions), one is asian fusion (chili brisket noodles or hoisin crispy duck fries. plus gyoza). also husband discovered rasperry frangipane tarts at the shop and they are the perfect sweet and sharp deliciousness

happy news - new nephew! the recipient of The Baby Blanket, he is three months old now and the cuddliest delight

good surprise - surprise flowers from husband and kiddo. surprise birthday wishes (and gifts?!) <333 and in reverse I also snuck a needle minder on to husband's cross stitch and pulled together a couple of little surprises for kiddo. i think we're going to do an easter egg scavenger hunt this year.

self knowledge - no big revelations this year, thank fuck (and uhh sorry to those few of you that i might have nudged into revelations of your own.) I DID discover a couple new ways to get a brain reset when needed though

new routines - bread making, skincare, trying to be more organised about cleaning the house, got a little library routine with the kiddo, got interdental brushes back into the teeth routine, kiddo has her own bedtime routine by herself

apologised for a fuck up - yeah i had a couple of these, including one i just. ignored. for a month or so. not proud of that. glad i cleared the air

caught covid - for the first time! kiddo's final gift out of pre-school

got dressed up - kiddo came out with us for dinner on my birthday, that was a lot of fun, glad she's old enough to do this now! couple of other dinners, christmas etc. nothing big. waiting for the day she and i can wear matching dresses to a wedding

new skills - bread making, various knitting techniques (flat, in the round, intarsia, some cabling, pattern drafting, various increases and decreases, colour changing etc), but also: french and dutch braids (mostly on the kiddo, growing my hair out a little more for me) and photoshop giffing just about

survived a bad decision - not sure i have much specific to point to for this one. i fucked up a couple of times and recovered in a couple of ways. i did also figure out how to fix a complete brain meltdown so that helped a lot.

cried - yeah, a bunch of times actually. some fic that destroyed me. some complete emotional and physical exhaustion. and then the time my bastard husband (affectionate) made me sit through "slipping through my fingers" from the mamma mia soundtrack. a song that made me emotional before i had a kid and now d e s t r o y s me. but we were listening to the soundtrack in the car and he didn't skip it so i just sat there in floods of tears until it was over. cathartic

misc favourites - new fandom in Rebel Kings MC <333 and all that goes with that: new characters, new ships, fic that looks into my soul, you know, the usual.

being brave (blank) - left two blank, have decided one of these gets to be filled for being brave - spotted something at work that's ethically and legally dodgy, so had to speak up and get it agreed that we would remove something from a couple of systems so we're not violating anything. I think i railroaded everyone into just agreeing with me by turning up well-informed and determined? I had to re-explain it again recently, but at least people seem inclined to agree.

new friendship - um. this one is hilarious in retrospect? I have made several very lovely tumblr friendships this year but i don't think i initiated a single one? beyond commenting occasionally on posts, I think all of you have messaged me first so. thank you <3. and if you've been in my DMs this absolutely includes you fyi. I also managed to make friends with a couple of different parents at kiddo's school so that's good! not close friends, but at least someone i can talk to at the inevitable events. (and then there's you, who i didn't anticpate at all <333)

bad recipe - actually only one on my list this year? I tried to make potato rosti and it was just ??? burnt and also raw??? so unappealing i never even tried a redo

new craft - well. knitting. not much else to say here!

other thoughts - the fact that i don't have any new tech says something about the brain space I DIDN'T have this year. badly need to upgrade my desktop but i can't face the research right now. my kindle battery is also dying a death but then i have to think about non-amazon alternatives and blah.

don't know if this should get its own square, but i got to meet another discord friend this year and take her for a walk around York city walls, so that was an unexpected delight.

over all it was a much more productive year than i expected, and it's nice to think about the progress i made, especially when a lot of things still suck in a lot of ways and are hard to deal with. trying to carry that energy into 2024 and maybe we can also fix some of the harder things too

(if you read this far i love you. if you just skipped right to the end i still love you. wonder what i should put in the bingo this year)

[incandescentflower]

2023 Fic Roundup

I've been doing this for the last few years and it's been a satisfying exercise so time to take a look at my AO3 and see what I did this year for writing.

A full list of all my fic can be found here on tumblr or on my AO3. (sometimes I forget to update my tumblr list but I end up catching up eventually). I also tag posts about my fic with the incredibly creative tag "my fic."

After a few absolutely maniacal years of writing, this year slowed down. I missed it, but life and more responsibilities at work got in the way. Still, there were some satisfying accomplishments.

Words posted: 178,315

Fics posted: 14 - less than half of what I wrote last year :'(

Fics completed: 13 (still one wip nagging at me, sigh)

Fandoms written in: Cherry Magic Th, Bad Buddy, Be My Favorite, The Eclipse, My Tooth Your Love, Never Let Me Go, Our Dating Sim, Semantic Error, Word of Honor

Fandom most written in both word count and fics:

Bad Buddy with 3 fics (1 wip) and 59, 071 wc

Fic with most hits, kudos and comments: Somebody to You for Semantic Error - an arranged marriage AU

Other notable fics I wrote this year:

I finished Echoes in the Dark, a fic I started about a month after Word of Honor aired and then I was distracted by some other fandom events. It's an AU where Zhou Zishu is also kidnapped by the Ghost Valley master when he and Wen Kexing were children. There's great art for it from the wip big bang and I'm really proud of it.

I also wrote sending wishes into the sky, a fic focused on Wen Kexing's relationship with Gu Xiang and processing her death for a discord exchange that I ended up fully outlining in a few hours and finishing at warp speed because I knew exactly what I was trying to do with it.

And a few one shots for Our Dating Sim that I even feel warm and fuzzy when I read them.

Plus finally finishing the Semantic Error fic I linked above that I started in 2022.

My writing this year was dominated by thai bl shows, which is interesting since I had not written for any thai bl until Bad Buddy. But I did a few exchanges (one in bbs fandom and one in GMM fandom) so that definitely made it more likely for me to write them.

Last year I said my writing goals will be to continue to work on finding a balance between catching inspiration when it comes and keeping going when a story requires more detailed work and sustained attention. This remains a continued goal. I finally finished two long standing wips this year and I have one more to go.

Also, related, getting better at outlining longer plots. haha.

For 2024, I will finish The Triple N Project if it is the last thing I do. I would also like to write some more for Cherry Magic Thailand and go back to a reincarnation AU I started for The Devil Judge long ago.

(all stats are for fic finished in 2023 only, my 2022 and 2021 posts are here)

[smallblueandloud]

2023 fic roundup

2023 was the year of the comeback. in 2021, i wrote about 25k; in 2022, i didn't even keep track. meanwhile, my total wordcount last year was 119,226 words. while that doesn't come close to my 200k from 2020, i am arguably prouder of last year and what it represented. my writing isn't dead! my abilities haven't vanished! i can have fun making art again :D

as always, the summer was the most productive for me. you can see that i wrote more in the spring than the fall -- this roughly corresponds to how i was doing during those times, lol. i had a Much Better spring semester than the fall. september was very rough, i had a very bad time, and it meant my mental health suffered for the rest of the year. but hey, at least i was writing essays :')

some more scattered thoughts:

i was arguably pretty consistent this year? may/june/july all had about the same wordcount (roughly) and i think that's cool. my goal isn't to be doing NaNos, it's to be writing consistently, so i'm very happy with this

ao3 says i published 67k in 2023. minus the first chapter of something out of a dream, which was published in 2020, i believe that's 65k or so total. i wrote 72k of fanfic last year, meaning that there's about 8k from last year still sitting in my google drive (a rough eyeball at my WIPs folder confirms this). these numbers don't QUITE make sense to me, since i used a fair bit of old material in what i published last year, but i'm not going to think about it too hard

i published fic for a whopping fifteen fandoms in 2023. nine of those were fandoms i'd never published anything for before! i am so, so proud of this stat. i remain multifandom as all hell and seeing that represented in my work makes me really :D

two fics -- be amazed by the sky and i got your back (and you got mine) -- were crossovers! i'd only ever written one crossover before (stay all day in the sun, which i still love dearly) and it was fun to play in these playgrounds (mostly by sticking the librarians into other universes, xD)

i published 25 fics last year! and five of those fics were less than 1k, which i also really love. this year i really tried to let go of my idea that my fics Had to be more than 4k (and super polished) before they could see the light of day. i think my writing has been more fun and less stressful because of that.

i polished off 4 multi-year WIPs last year: but the verse is sweet, something out of a dream, don't wanna see you go (but it's not forever), and all we can do today. it felt so, so good to finally get those out there. the only one i have left from The Great Hiatus of 2021-2022 is éponine de bergerac. i will finish that someday, but i'm letting her take her time, because she deserves it. (i DID make good progress on that fic, which is something at least!)

most popular fic of the year was sit there in your heartache, which. is a spirk fic written right after a relevant episode, so not a surprise lol. the fic that surprised me most is actually the sisterhood of the travelling main character plotpoints -- i kinda expected that one to vanish quietly, but the hatchetfield fandom is WAY more active than i expected! which is very cool :D

the fic with the fewest hits was sidenote, which doesn't surprise me, since the librarians isn't a very active fandom and it's a rareship within the fandom anyway. the people who DID read it were very sweet, so i am very grateful for them. (i'm doing fic with the fewest hits because i feel like it's better to focus on that than What Didn't Get Kudos)

i started 2024 with 5 WIPs. i actually already finished one (and then immediately started its sequel, whoops) (shoutout to the ds9 modern au, i'll make a real post about that sometime). none of these fics are particularly progressed, but i'll keep working on them and try to find the Finishing A Project Dopamine from ficlets if i need it.

i didn't really have any Writing Goals for 2023 aside from doing any writing at all, lol. i think for 2024 i want to try to get more consistent with my writing -- instead of doing x number of words per month (which usually happen over 3-4 Big Writing Days), i'd rather try to write for 5 days out of every week, or something like that. we'll see what i can get done.

in the meantime: thank you guys for listening. i'm proud of what i did last year, and i'm excited to see what happens next year :D

[callunavulgari]

Year in Fic | 2023

How many fics did you write this year? What was your total wordcount?

This was a very, very depressing year for me fic-wise. I didn't think it was possible, but not only did I write less that I did last year, but I wrote SIGNIFICANTLY less than I did in 2022.

In 2023 I wrote 11 fics, for a total of 39,450 words. Which is uh, almost half what I did in 2022. And 2022 was a slow year for me. But! I will give myself a bit of grace considering I spent most of the year being neurotic about wedding planning.

Fic Roundup!

so damn sloppy | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 4,557 words | Steve smiles, leaning forward just a little bit, and is rewarded by the sight of Eddie swaying towards him as if hypnotized. “We gonna stop pretending that I’m here just for a movie?”

into the unknown | LoZ | Zelda/Ganondorf/Link | 8,017 words |  “What do you think, princess?” Ganondorf asks, cocking his head. “Would having your young knight here with us make the marriage bed more palatable?”

just a little bit closer, baby | Stranger Things | Chrissy/Eddie/Steve | 2,734 words | “He’s sure, Chrissy,” Steve says, voice warm.

Ghost Story | Stranger Things | Eddie/Steve | 2,559 words | Eddie wakes to darkness. 

mommy don’t know daddy’s getting hot | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 1,611 words |  “Just— Christ, Steve. Fuck me, already. Fill me up, put a baby in me or whatever weird hetero bullshit your brain has a boner for, just do it.”

the icarus to your certainty | Marvel | Loki/Thor | 1,687 words | “Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?” Loki asks softly, his mouth twisted into a strange, sad little smile.

build your altar here | Star Wars | Reylo | 5,486 words |  When Leia had first offered up Ben’s condo as a place for Rey to stay while she got back on her feet, she’d foolishly assumed that it was some kind of subletting situation.

for years or for hours | Loki | Loki/Mobius | 1,677 words | “What the shit are you doing?” Mobius hisses, and Loki— Loki is tired.

touch-a, touch-a, touch-a, touch me | Stranger Things | Steve/Eddie | 2220 words | “God,” Steve murmurs into Eddie’s mouth. “You look— I cannot deal with how you look right now.”

these, our bodies, possessed by light | Shades of Magic | Holland/Kell/Lila, Athos/Holland | 2,134 words | Holland tells her simply. “I want to go home.”

this house says your name like an elegy | The Untamed | Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang | 6768 words | “Good night, ghost,” he says. “We can play tomorrow.”

Best story I wrote this year:

In my opinion? into the unknown was the only fic that I was TRULY proud of this year. Which isn't to say that the others were awful, but into the unknown was my passion project of the year. I saw a thing on twitter that made my brain go ping, and I sat down and said, yknow what, I'm going to write political marriage Ganondorf/Zelda. And then, I went, yknow what would be great? If we added Link, poly, and a great heaping pile of yearning. And it was! Great that is! It was fun to write and I'm really glad that I put it out there.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Honestly, into the unknown IS probably my favorite - BUT! A very close second is for years or for hours, which I wrote after watching the Loki finale a totally chill amount of times. I couldn't get over the idea of Loki and those timeloops, how lonely it must have been. How he could technically have everything that he wanted and then wipe the slate clean again hours later. I was also planning on writing another Loki fic, one where Sylvie and Mobius end up hooking up and living? traveling? together AFTER, but it just hasn't happened yet. Two people fucking because they're yearning for the same third is just catnip to me.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

This is actually interesting because my stats are pretty wildly different for kudos vs hits. Normally they're at least in the same ballpark. BUT! for years or for hours was definitely my top fic as far as kudos go by a pretty wide margin, coming in 742 kudos, 217 bookmarks, and 2,397 hits. so damn sloppy (a title that i hated IMMEDIATELY after posting) comes in second when it comes to kudos at 239.

But! If you measure by hits- build your altar here, otherwise known as the excessively smutty reylo fic that i wrote actually comes in first. Which is... weird? But hey, what do I know. Numbers are bonkers.

Story of mine most underappreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

While I'm honestly always a little disappointed by the traffic my SXX Exchange and Yuletide fics get (I get it, they don't show up at the top of the page because they spend weeks unviewable before being revealed), I think my actual answer to this question is Ghost Story. It's one of the shorts that I did for my October challenge this year. 2.5k of Eddie waking up in the Upside Down undead, of him finding Steve's house and hesitating there on the threshold, of Vecna in his head, of him CHOOSING Kas as his own storyline, grasping at straws in the hopes that he'll be able to pull it off. I never go into something expecting kudos because that way lies madness, but I got... 11 kudos. No comments. And I don't know, that's always at least a little disappointing, but especially because I was proud of this one. I liked getting into Eddie's headspace in a horror setting. It was great! It was tragic! And I don't know, it just didn't get love. Such is life.

Most fun story to write:

Okay, so like. I wrote A LOT of smut this year. Almost every single fic that I wrote was either PWP, fix-it, or both. And almost every single one of them came easily (ha). The plot bunnies didn't fight me, they just happened. Which means that a lot of them were fun to write! The one where I got to work in Steve's breeding kink in the most hilarious way cracked me up. BUT! I got to write Steve/Chrissy/Eddie this year! I've been wanting to write it for ages and this year, for the first day of kinktober, I got to write Chrissy pegging Eddie while Steve fucks his face. That was just... an absolute dream.

Story that could have been better?

Maybe these, our bodies, possessed by light ? My Yuletide recipient's requests were of a crueltide variety. And I don't necessarily have an issue with writing that. I wrote it and I liked the end result, but where it comes down to it I'm still pretty uncomfortable writing non-con, even a character that is slowly healing from it. I do actually like how it ended. I think I conveyed what I wanted it to, the style was exactly what I was aiming for, I just haven't been able to shake the feeling that it could have been more. But if I'd made it happier or longer, I think I would have taken away from the point I was trying to make.

Story I wrote to fix things:

Definitely the icarus to your certainty. Some of the others are fix-its in the sense that certain characters are alive, others are fix-it fic not because they changed anything about the canon but because of the sense of catharsis. But the icarus to your certainty was a fic that I've been wanting to write for a while, one where Thor and Loki meet again. I've told this story a couple different ways since End Game, but this one feels more complete because I used TVA Loki. It wasn't just me talking out of my ass about suspected ways that Marvel could fix it, it was about the exisiting character meeting back up with a post-Love and Thunder Thor and going hey, I'm here, I'm not the same brother you watched die, but I'm still a Loki, I still miss you, I know what you lost. I did write it before watching the finale, so there's probably at least one more Thor and Loki reunion fic in me, but we'll see.

Longest completed fic this year:

into the unknown was my longest this year at just over 8k.

Fandom you enjoyed writing for most this year:

The fandom that I wrote the MOST of was Stranger Things, because Steddie is still dogging me even now, more than a year later. And it is certainly the fandom that I enjoyed reading the most, but I also really loved playing in the Tears of the Kingdom sandbox.

Favorite character you wrote this year:

I did like writing Ganondorf in into the unknown a lot, but this pleasure has to go to Eddie. He's just so fun.

Most memorable comment(s) this year:

I really loved all the comments that I got on for years and for hours! The comments from my recipients for the SXX exchange and Yuletide were amazing! I got a comment on the Silena and Clarisse fic that I wrote well over a decade ago! I got an adorable comment on the monsterfucking fishsex one earnestly telling me to keep doing what makes me passionate, even if it's... yknow, fishsex.

But honestly, this comment that I got on Rubatosis takes the cake. It just completely blows my mind that even know, almost a decade after I wrote the fic, I am STILL getting comments on it. And not just the comments that other older fic of mine get, but comments that are so heartwrenchingly genuine, thanking me, weeping and happy about it. I actually did a reread of it after I got this comment and while I can see all the places that could be improved on, I'm just still so floored, so PROUD, that it's something that came out of my brain.

Fics you wanted to write but didn’t:

I DO have an entire graveyard of fics in my googledocs that I've started and haven't finished but, in no particular order:

the steddie one where they hook up pre-series when steve is still king steve and eddie is dealing at one of his parties

the steddie hitchhiking one

the steddie coffee shop one that no one asked for

the gloryhole steddie fic from kinktober

ugh the akuroku farmer's market one about being punk and then getting older

the bodyswap geraskier one

the ust filled one-shot of Jericho and Sam Lloyd from the Diviners

the random plot bunny i got after reading hell bent where i wanted to write alex fucking darlington after the howling

the cnc sxx fic

the uh, vaguely necrophiliac sxx one because xue yang is a freak

the *cough* incest ship one where they find out they're related while fucking and neither stops (i may have entertained this as a han/luke/leia one-shot)

the alex/jonas oxenfree one that i wanted to write as a yuletide treat

the anastasia/dimitri one that i wanted to write as a yuletide treat

Oddest story:

god, probably the breeding kink one. mommy don't know daddy's getting hot. it's not even super intense! i just feel like eddie would be absolutely IMPOSSIBLE if he found out that steve had a breeding kink.

Hardest story to do:

I did fret about this house says your name like an elegy a little. I kept getting stuck describing the house and had to force myself past it.

Easiest story to write?

Again, most of the fics came pretty easily this year. build your altar here may have been the easiest? I'd just finished love theoretically by ali hazelwood and while i'd always known they were a reylo i didn't realize that i'd actually read some of their fic! anyway, read a couple reylo fics for nostalgia and then realized that i wanted to write a free use fic. All 5k of it came out in one sitting, it was nuts.

Most mining of your own history in one story:

I don't think any of them? I mean, maybe so damn sloppy if you count the fact that i've actually been in a family video before, but other than that? yeah, nothing.

Themes, or absence thereof:

A lot of smut, tbh.

Where did you publish/archive your stories?

Ao3, as per usual. I didn’t crosspost too much this year.

Story I haven’t yet written, but intend to:

i REALLY want to write the steddie ones that i didn't write this year, specifically the hitchiking and the pre-series one.

Sexiest moment (excerpt):

He fucks Eddie breathless. The corset isn’t helping, the pearls like a collar around his throat. He wants Steve’s hand in his hair, wants to be fucked until it hurts, but Steve is so gentle with him. 

There are tears in Eddie’s eyes when he finally surrenders, gasps quietly into the dark and says, “Please, harder.”

Steve doesn’t get a hand into his hair, but he does splay his palm out over the curve of Eddie’s throat, just under the pearls. The hold isn’t a tight one, his fingers loose enough that Eddie could slide right out of the grip if he wanted, but Eddie sobs a little, bucking up, wanting wanting wanting—

Steve fucks him harder. 

.

“Would you like to have him first, then?” Ganondorf asks her, a low whisper in her ear, and her legs clench tight around him, making them both groan as his cock jostles between them. 

“Please,�� she says, and he makes a sound like a laugh, and pulls back, away, moving them so that he’s propped up against her headboard and she’s reclined against his front, her back hot where their skin touches.

Ganondorf makes an amused sound when Link hesitates, and his hands take hold of her hips and — mortifyingly — spread her legs open.

“Do you need me to tell you where it goes?” Ganondorf asks, almost conversationally, and Link narrows his eyes. 

It’s not— there was a moment, when she was younger, when she’d thought of this. Of what would happen if she could just take what she wanted. If she could have Link on his back in the hay of the palace stable or if he’d ever bear her down into the fragrant grass of Hyrule Field.

It was a silly dream. A girl’s dream. She’d never imagined this, her husband holding her open as Link pushes into her, but perhaps that was a good thing. She’d been an excitable girl.

He makes a noise when he first pushes into her that she’ll remember forever, even if they never get to do this again — a slight hitch in his breathing, like a hiccup, then a moan so soft it’s almost a whine. They are green, untested, so very new to this. She’s wanted this for so long and so hard that it doesn't even hurt. The rhythm is rocky and awkward when they start, but Ganondorf helps them find it quickly, his hands reaching out to steady Link's hips, coaxing him into a better pace.

It is perfect, even if it wasn’t what she’d dreamed. She gets to bury her face in his neck the way she’d wanted then, gets to hitch her legs up around his hips and clench him tighter, deeper, his fingers threaded with hers.

But it is over too fast, and her eyes are wet when he goes still inside of her. It’s too much. It’s not enough. 

Ganondorf gives them a minute, lets her shake, lets Link breathe. She hadn’t expected patience from him, but then, there’s a great many things about this night that she hadn’t expected.

“Okay,” she tells him when Link is collapsed backwards beside them, watching with hazy eyes as Ganondorf turns her to face him. His cock is between them, hard against her belly, and it’s so big that for a moment, she wonders if she’s ready for it. She can feel Link’s spend licking the insides of her thighs and knows that Ganondorf can feel it too. 

She looks at Ganondorf, chin held high, and says, “I’m ready.”

He is big.

His cock inside of her is such a tight fit that her breathing goes ragged as he’s fitting it into her. She’s sweating all over and it’s so much that she worries it will break her, that she’ll never be the same again. Link had felt good inside of her, a perfect fit, no pain, just frissons of pleasure up and down her spine as he moved inside of her, but this — this is nearly too much.

“It’s okay, princess,” Ganondorf tells her, petting her back once he’s completely inside. “You did good.”

.

Against all odds, the noise is what wakes her. She would have thought— well, she would have thought that she’d have woken to other things. The gentle rocking of the bed. The weight on her hips. Rey had assumed that if anything were to wake her, it would have been that first slow press inside her — her body yielding slowly to the blunt press of him between her legs. 

However it happened, the noise is what wakes her. She surfaces slowly, first latching onto the sound of the rhythmic thumping of the headboard striking the wall over and over again before her brain wakes enough to take note of the rest of it. 

She’s warm, that’s the second thing that she notices. Most of the time, Rey wakes with her fingers and toes freezing, and she’ll have to spend the first thirty minutes of her morning huddling for warmth beneath her blankets. This morning though, she’s overly warm, her blood already running hot, her chest and belly slick with sweat.

That’s when the rest of the details come to her. The heavy breathing above her. The warm sticky skin pressed to the bare stretch of her back. The creaking of the bed. Her own shallow breathing, little noises escaping her even as her brain comes fully back online. And of course, the feeling of a cock stretching her wide. She must have been wet, she thinks hazily, still halfway between waking and dreaming. Had she been dreaming? Or had he put his mouth on her before he’d bullied his way inside? They hadn’t really discussed the mechanics beforehand, only their wants and limitations. She’d wanted this, she remembered confessing. This specific thing, mentioned in the late hours of the night, her face flushed.

But he’d done it. She hadn’t thought that he would.

She’s still sluggish, but her body is already lighting up from the touch. Already awake and responsive, even as Rey starts to slowly stretch, her toes curling against the sheets as her palms scrabble for a grip to ground her. Ben rocks into her again, a particularly deep thrust, and a noise punches out of her, shocked and urgent.

She hears a chuckle from above her, and then his mouth is dropping to press against the sharp blade of her shoulder, lips dragging indulgently across her skin.

“Good morning,” he whispers, his own voice gritty with sleep. She whines under him, her fist finally getting a hold on the sheets, and he laughs at her openly, rewarding her with a particularly ruthless grind of his hips, pressing so deep that she rocks forward into the pillows.

He works a hand into her hair, and she’s— god, it’s so much so fast that she’s actually dizzy from it, so when he drags her up to her knees, she’s reeling, wobbly like a newborn animal. Her breath catches in her throat, her stomach tensing as he slides his palm down to cradle the shallow dip of her pelvis.

She doesn’t have to enjoy it, that wasn’t part of the bargain. The deal was anytime, anywhere— within reason, of course. She’d thrilled at the idea of it, imagining him bending her over the back of the couch, over the kitchen counter, imagined crawling into his lap during one of his shitty zoom calls and having him like that, where any one of his sleazy corporate overlords could hear her panting for him if he decided to unmute them.

She hadn’t thought that this would be his first move on the chessboard, that less than 24 hours after shaking on it she would wake to him inside of her, stretching her wide, the very first thing that she’d told him she wanted.

Anything, though. And just because she hadn’t imagined this happening the morning after they discussed it does not mean that she can’t enjoy it. 

He fucks her hard and fast after that, as if her coming awake beneath him has made him desperate for it. Her scalp aches under his grip, but the pull is a good one. She’s wet and aching, his cock so good, pressing so deep— she’d forgotten what it was like, what he could be like. 

She makes a noise, something quiet and pleased, and he must like it because he moans for her, his grip turning harsher, his thrusts more punishing. She wants to ask him for it, wants to tell him harder, but he hasn’t said that she can talk yet, so she bites her lip and holds on for dear life.

He comes inside her, letting out a long and guttural groan, his hips pressed flush against hers.

She’s trembling and she doesn’t want him to pull out yet, wants to come with him still inside her, but doesn’t—

“Touch yourself,” he tells her, his voice strained, cock still buried to the hilt inside her. She lets out a breathless little sob, already reaching, and it barely takes more than the press of her thumb to her clit before she’s coming, so hard that knees go out from under her. She bites down hard on her pillow to muffle the helpless little keen that makes its way out of her. 

Crackiest moment (excerpt):

Eddie is giving him shit when it happens. It’s been a little over a half hour since Eddie turned to him, bored and pouty about it, and asked if Steve wanted to fuck him.

“Obviously,” Steve could pretend that he’d replied, because that was smooth and cool, and not the reality of the weird grunting noise that he’d made in response, as if his brain had briefly forgotten that it was human and not still ape.

Eddie had snorted, but forgiven him this, and Steve had gone to work dutifully, because the reality of getting to fuck Eddie was still new and visceral. But then here they are, well past foreplay, and Eddie is giving him shit, cracking jokes, and Steve is still somehow completely hard. Which is to say, Steve is buried all the way inside of Eddie, balls flush against his sweaty ass, and absolutely breathless with laughter, trying to muffle the sound of it into Eddie’s shoulder when Eddie throws his head back theatrically and moans, “Yes, daddy, yes. Harder, please. Yes, Steve, put a baby in me already.”

And it’s—

He’s joking. Neither of them ever get even close to brushing against their mutual daddy issues. It’s a joke, the same way that the theatrical porn star moans he’s been driving Steve crazy with for the last half hour have been a joke. The same way that his nicknames getting more and more absurd every month is a joke. 

But Steve’s breath — it catches. He’d been halfway through another shaky thrust, tears still in his eyes, and then, at Eddie’s words, his movement stutters. He doesn’t quite gasp, but his exhale comes out shaky, a nervous huff of a noise.

Eddie goes still under him. He twists, peering around his own shoulder at Steve, his eyes wide and dark. He blinks and asks, “Really?”

.

“Fuck,” Eddie says again, voice thready. Steve tugs on his hair again, just enough to hear him hiss. “Just— Christ, Steve. Fuck me, already. Fill me up, put a baby in me or whatever weird hetero bullshit your brain has a boner for, just do it.”

Steve’s breath catches, his brain abruptly knocked offline. He doesn’t— later, he’ll try to wrap his brain around why this works for him. Try to figure out whether it’s the daddy issues, the unspoken desire for a kid, or just the idea of filling Eddie up with his come, but in this moment, the only thing that he can think of is those words in Eddie’s mouth, the reality of what he’s about to do. 

Steve’s a good, smart boy. Smart about this, at least. He likes to have sex. He’s safe about having sex. Even with Nancy, he’d never—

He fucks Eddie until he’s wailing, working his way up from the slow grind. Short, slow strokes, hard and deep. Harder, a little faster. It’s so much harder to fuck Eddie right like this, but it’s so intimate, tucked so tightly together that he can’t make himself move.

“Please,” Eddie is saying, and Steve isn’t even sure if Eddie’s aware that he’s talking out loud. He’s got his head buried in his arms, his body rocking forward every time Steve fucks into him, and his voice is throaty, his body shaking with every thrust.

“Please Steve,” he gasps, breathless, sweaty. He lets out an uneven moan at Steve’s next thrust, hard and deep, just the way Eddie likes it. “Do it, just do it, pump me full of your come, do it, please.”

Favorite dialogue (excerpt):

“Good morning, Princess,” Ganondorf tells her, still smiling. “That isn’t your usual guard.”

“No,” she tells him, and leaves it at that.

He hums thoughtfully, his eyes going to the guard again, and for a moment, she thinks that he may press the matter, as if it’s any of his business where Link may be, but after another moment, he drops it, leaving it with a polite nod.

They watch the birds in silence for some time. 

Ganondorf, as it turns out, has a bag of feed with him, which he offers her when the robins have finished what's on the ground and turn to eye them expectantly.

She dips her hand into the bag, delighting in the cool press of seeds against her knuckles, and comes out with a palmful, which she gently tosses to the grateful birds. As she watches, a few more descend.

“Do you come to this spot often?” Ganondorf asks as she brushes the lingering kernels from her hands.

She looks at him, wondering if she should say. If he does mean her harm, this place that she only comes to when she means to be alone would be a delightful place for any would-be kidnapper. But, on the other hand, if he is to be her husband, he will learn soon enough.

“Yes,” she tells him, reaching to brush her knuckles across the rose nearest her, the last few drops of morning dew clinging to the downy softness of its petals. “I love this place.”

“It is lovely,” he says. “Quiet, peaceful. I was happy to find a place to myself.”

She turns to look at him, curious despite herself. “Do you have a place like it? Back home?”

Ganondorf is still watching the birds, but as she speaks, he turns to her, his expression soft. 

“I do,” he says, sounding pleased. “We have orange trees growing in what passes for our garden. They grow in a small alcove tucked away from prying eyes. There’s a fountain there. It’s peaceful.” He seems to hesitate, then adds, “They smell divine when they’re in bloom. Perhaps one day I can show you.”

“Perhaps,” she replies, for politeness sake. She is her father’s only heir. He would never let her venture out into the desert, not even if she had all the guards in Hyrule with her. 

Perhaps, she thinks, when she is queen. If her husband has not attempted a coup by then.

They have drawn an entire flock by now, not only robins, but jays and turtle doves. They bicker amongst themselves for the seed, their chatter light and easy. She only wishes that her entire day could be this quiet.

“Are you looking forward to the feast tonight?” she asks, only half listening as she watches one of the larger jays wallop one of the doves with its wing.

“I never look forward to feasts,” Ganondorf tells her gravely, which surprises her enough that she lets out a sharp bark of laughter.

When she’s done laughing, she looks at him, tears in her eyes, and confesses, “Neither do I.”

.

“Looking for your knight, princess?” Ganondorf whispers out of the corner of his mouth. He doesn’t duck his head towards her, but there’s a barely noticeable tilt to his head that means he wants to, that he wants his lips pressed right up against her ear, where he can speak truly to only her. The whisper, she thinks, will have to suffice.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she whispers back, her eyes finding Link’s even as the words leave her mouth. He is watching them, but there’s a faint crack in his mask, a flash of pain bare on his face for all of Hyrule to see before he catches her looking and schools it into careful blankness once more.

Ganondorf chuckles, a warm rumble that she can feel through her entire body, from head to toes.

“Of course, you don’t,” he tells her, something faintly mocking in his voice. It makes her hackles go up, spine straightening as she lifts her head to look at him.

He is looking down at her now, and on his lips is a smile that she hasn’t seen from him yet. It isn’t the soft private smile from this morning, nor is it the polite smile that he gives her father and the rest of court. This is a strange smile, just for her, and it appears entirely genuine. 

“Are you mocking me, sir?” she asks him.

“Perhaps,” he tells her, unexpectedly lifting her into a spin. She reels, a bit dizzy when he sets her back onto her feet. He smiles again, as if he’s laughing at her, and ducks his head to whisper in her ear, “Is it working?”

She blinks hard, finding Link over his shoulder again.

“Is what working?” she asks breathlessly.

She can feel his smile against her ear, the feel of it curving upwards. She shivers.

His lips move against her ear, his breath warm against her throat. “Am I making him jealous?”

She flinches. Not hard, but just enough to make her misstep. She corrects herself, but people have already seen.

There will be whispers. Rumors.

She huffs, and looks away from him, careful to keep her gaze away from Link.

“I told you,” she says coolly, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He laughs again, but obligingly straightens, taking his mouth far out of her reach.

They dance in silence until the music stops.

Favorite lines (excerpt):

“You can, you know,” Mobius tells him, and Loki wants to ask what, wants to ask if that’s freestanding permission— to take anything he wants, anything he needs. 

“Can I?” Loki asks, his voice a rasp in the dark.

Mobius nods, his nose sliding against Loki’s. He’s holding his breath, Loki thinks, and that won’t do. Loki needs him to breathe. 

He kisses him. 

Mobius makes a thin noise, like he hadn’t really expected Loki to do it, then something heavier as his mouth slides open under Loki’s. 

Loki reaches, curling his fingers against Mobius’s cheek, pulling him closer, until they’re almost on top of one another. Loki wants— he wants a great many things. He wants to kiss Mobius until his breathing goes erratic. Wants to crawl backwards onto the desk and let Mobius have him there, just like this. Wants to touch him all over, map out every square inch of his body until Loki knows every whorl of hair, every wayward freckle.

“Mm,” Mobius hums as Loki breaks the kiss. Their lips make a wet sound as they separate. The sound of it is thrilling. It makes him want more. Mobius clearly is on the same page, his eyes flickering open slowly, watching Loki through slitted eyes. As Loki watches, he smiles and asks, “Feel better?”

He does, actually. 

The panic is ebbing, his heart regaining its normal rhythm, his vision no longer tunneling. He doesn’t feel as out of control now, like time itself is slipping away from him.

Loki licks his lips, ignoring the way that Mobius’ eyes linger on his mouth, and nods. He leans in for another kiss, this one shorter. He is very aware of the light of the loom, going ever brighter outside the window. Not long now.

“Don’t worry about it,” Mobius tells him, leaning smugly back against the computers when Loki has finished with him. He looks rumpled. His hair askew, his lips bruised. Loki wants to wreck him.

“Don’t worry about what?” Loki asks, distracted. 

Mobius jerks his head towards the loom, the timelines, the constant writhe of them against the blackness of the void. “That. Don't worry. You’ll get it right next time.”

Loki hisses, his head jerking up. He meets Mobius’ laughing eyes. Says, “When did you figure it out?”

Mobius shrugs, flashing Loki a look. “You didn’t get that good at physics overnight, Loki. Come on. How long have you been at this?”

Loki doesn’t know. Not really. He’s lost count. Lost count quickly even. “Too long.”

Mobius eyes him. He’s still reclined back against the computers, his elbows planted firmly under him, legs slightly splayed. Loki can see the length of him, hard in his slacks. It’s tempting. He is tempting. If they had more time, then maybe—

Mobius is still watching him, like he can see Loki's every thought printed out and set before him in real time. Who knows, maybe he can. 

“Next time,” Mobius tells him, like a promise. 

The light outside the window is growing brighter, the rattling of the entire structure around them getting louder.

Loki breathes. 

“You won’t remember,” Loki says, feeling a tug of… something at that. Hurt, maybe. Grief, perhaps— for this version of Mobius that his hands have touched, this version who won’t exist five minutes from now.

“Maybe not,” Mobius tells him with an unconcerned shrug. “But I can promise you I’ll be receptive.”

Loki snorts. “That sure of yourself, are you?”

Mobius’ smile goes soft, secret. A little sad around the edges.

“With you?” he says. “Always.”

.

Ganondorf is enormous, well over seven feet tall and thick with heavy, corded muscle, the bulk of him great enough that in the months prior to his arrival, the castle staff had seriously considered widening several doorways around the castle. And while she is glad to know that he is able to fit through their doorways without issue, his size is… intimidating.

His hair is swept up into a glinting gold crown, the color a deep russet red that’s several shades darker than the rest of his kin. He's bare from the waist up, his naked torso heavily adorned, golden hoops in his ear lobes, a heavy looking necklace of gold and ruby draped around his throat, intricate designs swirling down to just above his navel. Delicate chains link the neck piece to golden cuffs squeezed tight around his biceps and then, even further down, another pair of arm guards that run from forearm to wrist. There is even, she realizes, her face going red, a pair of simple golden hoops through two brown nipples. They glint back at her in the afternoon light, mocking.

Zelda, who had missed the first of the introductions during her inspection of her betrothed, blinks hard, head jerking up when she hears her own name echoing through the chamber. She turns towards her father, who is looking back at her expectantly. She has no idea what he’s said, but she can guess. 

She clears her throat, stepping forward until she is at the very edge of the dais. Her eyes find Ganondorf’s. 

His eyes are warm. Gold. There’s intelligence there – slyness and cunning, yes – but even as the force of his gaze holds her in place, she recognizes something more there. A challenge. The potential for cruelty, perhaps. It will be a game, she thinks, looking at him. He will do his duty. He will wed her and unite their peoples, even swear fealty to Hyrule. And yet, she’s somehow sure that he will spend the rest of their lives testing her, looking for cracks in her armor, waiting and watching for a chance to usurp her throne.

She watches as he goes down to one knee before her, and finds her mouth wet as he reaches for her hand, saliva pooling against her tongue. Suddenly, she is very aware of everything. Her father beside her. Link at her back. Ganondorf’s kinsman watching her with a careful blankness masking their curiosity. There are wolves in the castle and they are hungry.

“Hello, Princess Zelda,” he says, mouth quirking upwards into something that’s more smirk than smile. His voice is warm, smooth like liquid honey. 

“Ganondorf,” she makes herself say, willing her voice not to waver as she gives an estimation of a curtsy. It isn’t quite proper, but it is within the polite boundaries of etiquette. No one will be able to fuss.

His smile grows as his gaze flicks over her right shoulder, to where she knows Link is standing. She cannot allow herself to look, but she can guess that Link is likely standing there, his face carefully blank, the perfect soldier. She wonders what drew Ganondorf’s attention – a tightening of Link’s fingers around the hilt of his sword? A flicker of an expression around his mouth?

Whatever it is, Link holds Ganondorf’s attention for several long moments. Zelda can feel her hand begin to sweat against Ganondorf’s palm and longs to withdraw it. Then, Ganondorf’s smile goes a touch crooked, showing teeth, and still holding Link’s gaze, he ducks and presses his lips to her knuckles. Only then does he return his gaze to hers.

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Ganondorf tells her, releasing her hand at last. Zelda can feel the burn of his lips against her skin, warmth blossoming outwards, sending seeking tendrils crawling down her wrist. She has to fight the urge to hide her hand behind her skirts.

She swallows again and makes herself smile, even as a shiver runs through her. “The pleasure is all mine.”

.

A hand touches her elbow and she flinches, expecting Link, but when she turns, it’s Ganondorf. He’s looking at her seriously, his heavy brows knotted. There is no calculating or cruelty on that face, only understanding.

“Wife,” he says, and that’s a little stab of agony as well, knowing that it is done, knowing that she is as good as shackled to the man next to her. “We don’t have to do this tonight.”

Her head jerks up, mouth parting. She’d expected cruelty, she realizes, looking into his eyes. Never in her wildest imaginings had she thought that Ganondorf could be kind. 

It is a sweet offer, but a barbed one, as well. Even if she were to put the night off – how long would he wait? A week? A month? Years? What if she never wished to bed him? Would he allow that or would he go to her father and declare the marriage contract null. 

No, better to get this over with.

Zelda swallows and shakes her head. Her eyes go to Link, standing just to the left of Ganondorf. His face is like stone, still refusing to look at her. He will hold vigil, here at her door. He will… hear. She’s known that all along, but now, it’s like an arrow in her gut. She shouldn’t have kissed him. 

There’s a soft sound in the hallway, a quick inhalation, and her eyes go to Ganondorf, who is looking down at her with something like realization. A knowing. Even a soft smugness.

“Oh,” Ganondorf says, voice thick with understanding. Her heart drops as Ganondorf looks between them, face creased. “It is like that, then. I had wondered.”

Link doesn’t look up at either of them, his jaw merely tightening as he stands straight under Ganondorf’s gaze.

Ganondorf laughs, a soft thing, colored with amusement, as he leans back against the door to her rooms. Light from Zelda’s candle glints off of his crown, off of the plate of gold laid over his chest. He’s still looking between them. 

“Hm,” he says once he’s finished laughing, reaching for Zelda’s hand. She gives it to him, her heart hammering in her chest, and sucks in a quiet breath when he steps forward and gently draws her over the threshold to her rooms. He takes the candle from her, setting it into the waiting sconce, and looks back over his shoulder at Link, who is still stone-faced and silent at the door.

He quirks an eyebrow at him and says, “Well, aren’t you coming?”

Shock explodes across Link’s face, blue eyes going wide as a ruddy blush instantly colors his cheeks. His mouth drops, lips parting as a huff of surprise leaves him. He stares at Ganondorf, open-mouthed, the emotion bleeding back into him all at once. 

He glances towards Zelda, as if looking to confirm what he’d just heard.

Zelda, who finds that her mouth is also open, only shakes her head in disbelief. 

Link’s eyes go back to Ganondorf’s, only to dart away again, skittish.

Ganondorf chuckles again, stepping forward until he’s once again looming in the doorway. He cocks his head, as if curious, eyes running up and down Link’s body, heavy with intent.

“I will admit,” Ganondorf tells him, that same strange smile playing around his lips as he reaches out, brushing a wayward curl from Link’s face. “It’s been some time since I had a boy in my bed, but having the both of you won’t be such a hardship.”  

He casts a glance over his shoulder towards her even as his palm slides up to cup Link’s cheek, an almost proprietary grip, his thumb coming to rest at the corner of Link’s mouth. She’s shocked to realize that she wants to see what would happen if Link opened his mouth and sucked it in. 

Ganondorf must see something of her thoughts on her face, because he laughs again, louder, a rumble deep in his chest. 

“What do you think, princess?” Ganondorf asks, cocking his head. His smile is wide, knowing. “Would having your young knight here with us make the marriage bed more palatable?”

Fic goals:

No goals this year, I don't think. Only to write what I want to write. And as per my resolution, work on the original work as much as I can.

[raviposting]

Decided to do a reading roundup, inspired by @batmanisagatewaydrug​ ‘s own one here! Posted uhhhh like two and a half weeks after January but hey, it’s my blog and my roundup. 

January Stats  Books Read: 30-31, depending on how I rank one book Average Rating: 3.49 Top Genre: Mystery  My storygraph if you wanna follow me and see my reviews (though I’ll link them for each book in the ratings) :) 

This month I read a ton of books but none of them really hit for me - not to say these books were bad (well. Some were LMAO), just probably not the proper time for me to read them lmao. All the books will be listed under the cut (some with comments) but here were the ones that really stood out! 

Standouts: 

As Good as Dead by Holly Jackson: 4.75/5 This was the end of the Good Girl’s Guide to Murder trilogy and GOD what a great series! I’m not going to sit here and pretend this is high art but there’s this special something in this series that makes me love it SO much. Is it Ravi Singh? It might be Ravi Singh. It’s probably Ravi Singh. 

The Wonder State by Sara Flannery Murphy: 4.5/5 I don’t wanna spoil this one because it’s an ARC but I was so pleasantly surrpised by this book. I just think it fucks.

The First to Die at the End by Adam Silvera: 4.5/5 The first book made me sob like a baby and this one did make me cry I admit it. :’) While the first book is probably always going to have the biggest place in my heart, this was a fantastic read, and I LOVE that he went back to show us the very first Death Day and how it impacted the first person who was ever called for it. I definitely have more questions on the actual process so if he wants to pull back even further to the creation of the concept I’d gladly take it lmaooo

The Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams: 4/5 So this is why I’m at 30-31 books - I read The Ultimate Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy that has all five books in the same book; since I finished the first book in January I’ll go add it here and it was just *chef’s kiss*. Zany, funny, I finally get that damn “the answer to life is 42″ joke. For some reason I’d die for Arthur Dent. Etcetera. 

All Other Books: 

Non-Fiction:  I didn’t have a number scale for two of them; I felt a little bit weird rating both of them, so I’ve just linked my reviews instead!

The Rose That Grew From Concrete by Tupac Shakur: Review

Spare by Prince Harry: 3.25/5 Sometimes he has points but good lord the privilege was ;aklfj;lafka;;flakj bro can we stop defending the monarchy lol

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou: 4/5 I don’t know why but I thouhgt these were fiction until I actually went to go check out the book lmaoo

Naturally Tan by Tan France: 3.75/5

If You Tell: a True Story of Murder, Family, Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood by Gregg Olsen: Review

Fiction: 

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett: 3.25/5 I know, I know, I’m sorry. Just wasn’t really for me. 

This Spell Can’t Last by Isabel Sterling: 3/5 It’s a short prequel book for a series I really had fun with called These Witches Won’t Burn! The prequel was fine. I wouldn’t suggest you pick it up without knowing the series but yeah

The Paris Apartment by Lucy Foley: 3/5 I’m kinda surprised I rated it that high in hindsight lmao

Gaslight by J.E. Rowney: 2.5/5

Paper Planes by Jennie Wood with Dozerdraws: 2.75/5 (the art was lovely though)

The Aosawa Murders by Riku Onda with Alison Watts (translator): 3.6-3.75/5

Burn the Negative by Josh Winning: 3.5/5

I Was Born for This by Alice Oseman: 3/5 (again, sorry lmao)

Not By Blood by Chris Narozny: 3/5 

Miss Muriel and Other Stories by Ann Petry: 3.5/5 I think I need to stop reading short stories because they’re always at around a 3 and it’s just not always a fair rating. Some stories I absolutely LOVE. Others? Ehhhh not so much. 

Why Are You Like This? by Meg Adams: 4/5 

It Starts With Us by Colleen Hoover: 3.75/5 tbh, I think the more I think about the book the lower I’m going to rate it, but for now I’ll keep this original rating

Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion: 3.75/5

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen: 4.75/5 Beautiful art as well <3

The Private Apartments by Idman Nur Omar: 3.5/5

I Know What You Did by Cayce Osborne: 2.75/5

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll: 3.75/5

Trouble in Mudbug by Jana DeLeon: 3/5

The Last Man by Vince Flynn: 2/5

All Your Perfects by Colleen Hoover: 3.5/5 This couple needed hardcore therapy and most importantly a divorce 

The Devil’s Music by Nathan Page: 3.75/5

Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder: 3/5

[crystalelemental]

It's that time once again, lads.

EX & 20/20 Current 5* powerups: 240 Current spirits: 890 5* powerups available: 61 (20 lodge, 5 event, 4 CS, 20 exchange, 12 MF pulls) Spirits available: 425 (85x4 CS, 85 LCS) Total powerups: 301 Total spirits: 1315 Total that can EX: 10 (150 powerups, 500 spirits)

Our targets for EX this run are Rosa, Viola, Lodge Jasmine, and Lorelei.  I'm not sold on Nate and am skipping Sycamore.  Jasmine is one of my favorites, I will support her even if Clemont is better.  Lorelei is a terrible, terrible idea, but in for a penny.  This leaves a whopping six EX to work from, before even accounting for how many 5*s we draw on the way.  Which, if we're lucky, will be many.

Anni Steven - It's time.  I wrote about him in a teambuilding guide again, and he's my favorite Liza partner.  We're doing this.

Alder - Extremely tempted.  With Viola dropping, Alder is her optimal partner, and I do love Volcarona.

Classic Blue - Roxanne/Lodge Steven/C!Blue is a favored comp.  Powering up Blue feels justifiable, even if sync isn't really his deal.

F2P Supports Roundup

BP Morty - probably not necessary but is funny

BP Surge - would really help his survival

Lodge Blue - not necessary, but Grass HS

Lodge Elesa - not necessary

Lodge Raihan - don't use often enough

Lodge Morty - sees a lot of F2P use, the bonus stats would be great

Lodge Acerola - seen rarely, but is nice when she's there.

Lodge Adaman - Not actually good, but Eeveelution and Hisui.

Lodge Leaf - I wasn't too impressed, I think she could use better bulk, but hard to justify at present.

The 20/20 I have a few pairs that are sitting at 20/20, and would just cost spirits.  The spirit game is way ahead of the powerup game right now, to an order of almost six pairs that just need spirits without powerups.  Which is wild.  Our current 20/20s are:

NC Marnie - Is 20/20

SS Ethan - Is 20/20

Victrier - Is 20/20

Victrier is technically F2P and I do love Spectrier, so I'm tempted.  Ethan and Marnie are hard sells because it's just so unnecessary.  Not saying I won't do it.  I'm saying it's not relevant.

CANDY SITUATION Strike (5) It's concerning how low my Strike Stash is too...

Rose - 2.  He gets a lot stronger with it.

SS Ethan - 2.  Full sync privileges, if that's a thing we care about now.

Tech (3) While there are plenty of Techs, there's only one under consideration. I finally waited out SC Ingo until a more desired Bug Zone pair came out.

BT Leon - 2.  I did EX him, and Dragapult has grown on me tremendously.

Support (3) There's only one, really. But...

V!Lorelei - 1.  I really want that built-in Vigilance.

NC Rosa - 2. Let's just...let's just be honest with ourselves, yes?

General (12) "Hey, didn't you used to have like 20 of these?" Yeah dude, the Eevees, including Penny, kicked my fucking ass. Sure hope Viola goes well!

Rei - 2.  He's really strong, so this is a fairly sane investment overall.

W!Viola - 2.  She'll behave though, promise.

Role Cakes I had one Strike, one Tech, and one Support, all just from pulls. With this month being when we get the first daily cake coins cash-in, as well as the first introduction of 100 daily tickets for a full cake, I figure it's time to look at options.

Strike Akari, Penny, and Rei are the options. I don't really care to give it to any of them. Penny sucks with it, Rei is competent but I feel like his Buddy move already handles AoE, while Akari's sync is bad so I'm not sold on that kind of investment. Best to hold onto this one, I think. Tech/Strike is one of the two most powerful combos, after all.

Tech I can't justify anyone. There are plenty who could use it, but they're all Support, and no. No to that.

Support I told myself that should we get to this month and have no sub-Supports I wanted, I'd give one to NC Leaf. That duty will be fulfilled. I did consider SS Serena, but I've kinda decided against. Better to save the new one.

Sprint Literally only NC Rosa, and trust me, there will be cake.

Field Literally only NC Nate. If I pull him I'll do it, I actually think it's well worth it.

Level 150 (415 certificates)

SS Diantha - Probably extremely unnecessary, but Diancie

Bede - Mostly unnecessary but justifiable.

Shauntal - Pretty great F2P Ghost pair, really enjoying it. Feels justifiable.

The Eevesi - Like, the Variety ones. It'd cost 50 to upgrade all of them, but like. Come on. Eevees. Eevuses. Eevesi.

NC Rosa's a given.

Lodge Jasmine is a given.

[here4theheartbreak]

2021 Writing Roundup

It’s become a tradition for me to sort of reflect on the writing I did throughout the year and gather it into one place, so I’m continuing that now that 2021 is ending.

Below this cut is what my fandom year amounted to. Fics, opinions on my writing, breakdowns of things I’ve written, etc. I took a new mindset to writing this year – taking it far less serious and just having fun with it, so it was interesting to read last year’s roundup as I wrote out this one to see what’s changed. Hopefully y’all find it as fun to read as I did to put together.

Under a cut because long, long, long. – I didn’t tag folks this year; if you’d like to do it though, feel free!

Fandom(s): BTS and Shinee

Total Fics: 45.5 (The 0.5 is because Moonlight Remains the Same started publication in 2020; so while I published the bulk of it in 2021, regarding stats I’m not including it in anything but total word count.)

Total Words: 359,559

~SHIP/CHARACTER BREAKDOWN~

Main Ships (I’m only doing main focus ship in the fic, not the side ships.)

Hoseok x Jungkook (1 fic – ~2.6k)

Hoseok x Seokjin (1 fic – ~3.6k)

Hoseok x Taehyung (3 fics – ~10.3k)

Hoseok x Yoongi (3 fics – ~17.2k)  

Jimin x Jungkook (4 fics – ~8.5k)

Jimin x Seokjin (1 fic – ~51.9k)

Jimin x Taehyung (2 fics – ~6.5k)

Jimin x Yoongi (3 fics – ~41.1k)

Jungkook x Namjoon (2 fics – ~12.2k)

Jungkook x Seokjin (3 fics – ~14.8k)

Jungkook x Taehyung (1 fic – ~3.4k)

Jungkook x Yoongi (1 fic – ~5.1k)* (2 if Moonlight is     included, ~82.8k)

Namjoon x Yoongi (1 fic – ~2k)

Seokjin x Taehyung (2 fics – ~15.9k)

Seokjin x Yoongi (1 fic – ~1.8k)

Taehyung x Yoongi (2 fics – ~17.7k)

x Agender Reader (1 fic – ~7.2k)

x Fem Reader (2 fics – ~4.4k)

x GN Reader (1 fic – ~2k)

x Male Reader (1 fic – ~2.5k)

Polyam Ships

Hoseok x Jimin x Jungkook x Taehyung (1 fic – ~3.2k)

Jungkook x Seokjin x Yoongi (1 fic – ~15k)

Jungkook x Namjoon x Taehyung (1 fic – ~1.2k)

Jungkook x Jimin x Yoongi (1 fic – ~8.5k)

OT7 (1 fic – ~7.3k)

Crossover & Non BTS

Jimin x Taemin (SHINee) (1 fic – ~6.5k)

Kibum x Minho (1 fic – ~2.7k)

Kibum x Taemin + Jinki (1 fic – ~5.9k)

Minho x Taemin (1 fic – ~3.8k)

Character Frequency:

Namjoon Ships: 4

Jin Ships: 11

Yoongi Ships: 12

Hoseok Ships: 10

Jimin Ships: 15

Taehyung Ships: 12

Jungkook Ships: 17

Minho Ships: 2

Taemin Ships: 3

Kibum Ships: 2

Jinki Ships: 1

Character POVs:

Namjoon – 1

Jin – 8

Yoongi – 6

Hoseok – 4

Jimin – 5

Taehyung – 7

Jungkook – 6

Minho – 1

Taemin – 1

Kibum – 1

Reader – 5

Did you seem to prefer any particular member/ship/pov? Is this different from earlier years, expected? Why?

Definitely preferences, though the division in character frequency isn’t as drastic as I thought it would be. I had anticipated mostly Jungkook or Jin fics, and I tend to always pick those two in terms of POV when they’re in the ship, so it makes sense – I didn’t realize I’d written so much from Taehyung’s POV this year though – he tends to be one that’s give or take. Especially glancing back at the fics where I did his POV, it’s a whole variety of ships, so I didn’t expect that.

I felt like I wrote a mountain of JinKook and JiKook this year, so that final breakdown is surprising; despite having 4 JiKook fics I only wrote about 8.5k words for them – not even near my top 5 ships by word count. JinKook is higher at 14.8k, but it’s still not top 3, or even top 5.

Top three by word count are JinMin with 51.9k, YoonMin with 41.1k, and TaeGi with 17.7k – but the JinMin is only one fic while the others are multiples, so I’m not sure it’s a fair place – so #4 by word count is Sope with 17.2k. (I’m leaving out Moonlight’s words in this one too since it skews the entire thing – adding in Moonlight puts YoonKook at 82.8k but I know realistically it’s not an accurate representation of my normal ship dispersal; I just really loved writing that fic.

~GENERAL QUESTIONS~

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than, or about what was expected? Why?

I think that I’m actually right on par with 2020’s fic output. My word count is a little higher, but I didn’t actually go into 2021 with any definite set goal. I had a vague word count goal of about 200k because that’s what I reached last year without burning out.

Looking back at the year’s output versus how I felt the output was throughout the year, it’s definitely more. There were times I didn’t write for weeks, and I felt like I was spending a whole lifetime on my one massive fic. So I honestly thought my output would be super low, but really it’s splendid considering my real life this year.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? How was it?

No new fandoms, but in terms of fics/pairings – reader insert. I have written fanfic for literally over a decade (actually almost 15 years holy crap) and haven’t ever delved into reader insert in any fandom. So, it was definitely a new thing, and I had no inkling that I’d ever even try it. I wrote 5 this year, both fluff and smut, with female reader, male reader, gender neutral, and even an agender tentacle monster. While it’s not something I think I’ll write more of in the future except perhaps for a friend, I am super glad that I gave it a shot and got the experience from it, it was a good learning experience.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest. Why?

This year I worked really hard on being happier with my writing, so I’m happy to say that there aren’t a lot of fics that I’m not happy with from this list. Sure, some that I think needed a little more work, but overall I’m happy with almost all of my output this year.

In regards to favorite, I really really love Moonlight Remains the Same, I know I started publishing in 2020, so using it is sort of cheating, but it really is my most meaningful and satisfying fic of any I’ve written in this fandom. It took so long and I ended up putting so much of myself into it as a person that I just can’t imagine a fic ever being as important, or making me as happy as this one has. It is the longest I’ve ever spent writing a single fanfic as well – just under a year.

If I need one from 2021 only though, I think probably When Your Nightmare is a Fantasy. I had a lot of fun with this one and the content is leaning more into dark/taboo/Dead Dove category, which I finally started experimenting with this year. I wrote it super-fast on a whim on Halloween, which I rarely have a chance to do anymore, so it was nice. In the same sort of realm as that, I think is Falling is really satisfying too; while I don’t reread this one as often; but I wrote it out of a burst of inspiration and passion and it was out of the realm of my normal stuff, so just a really shining moment when I think back on good writing this year.

Okay, now what’s your most popular story with readers?

So I divided this by Tumblr and AO3 since the readership is usually different and the general algorithms are different.

- Top 3 Fics by Tumblr note counts as of 12/31/2021:

Isn't Nature Beautiful? (Jimin x fem R, smut, 201 notes)

Happy Ending (trans!JK x male R, smut, 167 notes)

Bewitched by Babysitter (NamKook, smut, 130 notes)

- Top 3* Fics by AO3 kudos counts as of 12/31/2021 (*4- because tho Moonlight is the top, due to it being partially in 2020 I wanted to add in an extra 2021 only fic):

Moonlight Remains the Same (YoonKook, slow burn, 570 kudos)*

Night Sparks (JinKook, hybrid a/b/o smut, 545 kudos)

Bewitched by Babysitter (NamKook, smut, 434 kudos)

Handsome & Free (OT7, smut, 274 kudos)

- Top 3* Fics by AO3 hit counts as of 12/31/2021 (*4- because tho Moonlight is the top, due to it being partially in 2020 I wanted to add in an extra 2021 only fic):

Moonlight Remains the Same (YoonKook, slow burn, 15973 hits)*

Handsome & Free (OT7, smut, 7550 hits)

Night Sparks (JinKook, hybrid a/b/o smut, 4456 hits)

Bewitched by Babysitter (NamKook, smut, 4125 hits)

So, both platforms seemed to like my NamKook fic, and the hits and kudos are similar enough that my top 3-4 stay in the same general grouping. Unsurprisingly the mxr did far better on Tumblr than AO3.

Story most underappreciated by the universe? Why?

I scanned my masterlist repeatedly thinking of this question and I honestly couldn’t think of one. Looking at it realistically, my favorite stories all have done decently this year (when looking just at my fics – I'd love more traffic overall on most, but when compared to the traffic I do get on average, they did well).

Obviously, the ones I adore will usually not do so great on Tumblr; but those ones that lacked here all did decently on AO3, so I think this was a good year overall. Of course, ones like When Your Nightmare is a Fantasy and Night’s Delights aren’t smash hits even though I love them, but I acknowledge they’re niche and honestly, even then they aren’t too low on my stats list on AO3 in regards to Kudos and Hits.

So, yeah – I truly cannot complain. Except maybe about note counts. Really – please, please reblog your favorite author’s fics – the likes to reblog ratio is abysmal, folks - while I don’t care much, it is nice to see reblogs now and again.

Story that could have been better? Why?

Sharp Reproval. It’s not a bad fic by any means; I actually rather enjoy it, but I really rushed it. I was short on time and running into the week of my surgery and this fic would just not end. Normally I’m fine with that – (which is why my “short holiday fic” this month turned into a 50k monster.)

But because I knew I’d have this surgery and possibly be laid up for quite a while unable to write, I really desperately wanted to get it out beforehand. So I rushed the ending when really – it had the set ups of being a really, really good slow burn. I’ve considered yanking it down and pulling the ending, reworking it to be a long fic, but I hate doing that (I have a severe aversion to sequels and continuations of my fics – I blame old fandoms lol).

What was the easiest fic to write this year?

The easiest fics are always my pwp smuts, of course. Generally, I can write most of one of those short little ones in an afternoon or two. So excluding those – looking at my longer-ish ones… Honestly probably my most recent – All I Want for Christmas is You (And a Ticket Out of Here). I hadn’t planned on it being a long fic. Honestly, I had plotted for about 10k, maybe 15k max. But as I wrote it, the words just sort of kept coming. I’m the type of writer where I “let my characters take control” and I actually prefer that. It keeps me interested and engaged in a way that I’m not if I have to sit and really think about who’s gonna do what.

With this fic, I really struggled when I started – like before I started writing, to sort of plot it out so it wouldn’t take too long, since I was under a deadline with Jin’s birthday and Xmas. But once I started writing it, it just took off from chapter one. There were very few times where I had to stop and think about what needed to happen next (though I did try to encourage a different route at times – the characters opted not to take it).

So, that one and probably Black Rose which I’d add because because it surprised me. It’s not my normal genre or tropes (it’s MCD and I tend to avoid that trope both in reading and writing) but it just worked and flowed so well, it was a breeze to write.

What was the hardest fic to write this year?

The Hand of Fate. This was one of my early 2021 fics; I had binged the first season of The Witcher with my aunts and it’d become a new hyperfixation. But I had a lot of trouble with getting the ideas on paper. And once they were out there, the fic felt… Not great. I spent a very good chunk of time considering not even publishing it once I finished it, actually.

Looking back on it, I realize that my issues surrounding this fic weren’t related to the fic at all, but rather my own personal mental blocks and anxieties that I’ve worked to really move past throughout 2021; so I think if I wrote this now I’d have a lot of fun with it. Re-reading it tonight as I’m working on this, I’m realizing that I do actually think it’s a darn good fic, and I shouldn’t have been so hard on it, or myself.

What was your most productive days/day of the week/month, etc in terms of writing?

While I averaged relatively decent counts over the course of the year, my most productive month was October (72.1k) - definitely due to Kinktober writing; and my least productive was June (1.6k) – probably because I was super stressed and moving that month.

For weekdays, Monday and Tuesday tended to be the most writing productive, averaging out to about 1.2-1.3k on those days; while Wednesday and Friday were least productive with an average of right around 530 words those days.

Of the whole year, my most productive day was actually 12/28/2021 – but this was 100% because I was down to the wire writing my holiday fic and needed to finish it, so I pushed out about 15.7k in one night (0/10 do not recommend).

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

The biggest risk I took this year was just… Writing for myself. Obviously, everyone says you should write for yourself, not care about what others think, etcetera – but we all know it’s just a line. We all crave validation and we get upset when people dislike the things we worked hard on, this is just a part of being an artist. I didn’t stop craving that – but I stopped letting that craving hold me back from writing things that I assumed wouldn’t get me it.

Up until 2021, I’d not written Dead Dove or “taboo” topics, I’d avoided dark fics and niche smut areas, avoided angst without a happy ending and fics that focused on unpleasant parts of life. Not because I don’t like reading them or writing them – I rather enjoy many of those topics; but because I know that these topics don’t get one readers or kudos or notes or comments. They could instead get one anonymous hate or other upsetting things. And I was so, so worried about how I was perceived that I didn’t write things even if I thought it was a good idea.

But this year (about ¼ of the way through it maybe? I’m not sure) something changed and I decided I simply did not care. I don’t know what it was, but it was for the better both in my fandom existence and real life, because it’s translated quite stunningly to me finally having a voice when it comes to real world things and how I’m treated (or, how I used to let people treat me).

That was definitely the biggest risk I’ve taken this year, writing for fun, for myself, and not letting the worries of how others will perceive it (or if I’ll get notes or attention) stop me. And I learned quite a bit, actually. I didn’t lose friends putting out these works, I didn’t get piles of hate mail, I wasn’t shunned by readers – quite the opposite. There were actually a good number of folks that seemed to really like these sorts of darker, angsty, or more taboo fic topics.

Ultimately, it seems like I was worried for nothing. There’s not much attention at all to them on Tumblr, but I hadn’t expected it – there’s also not any negative attention, which is even better. And AO3 they’re doing quite well. I know they’ll never reach 1000 kudos or whatever, but I liked them and I had fun with them, and that’s what matters.

Name one thing you improved on this year in relation to writing. Either an actual technical writing thing, or even a mental approach to writing change.

The risk question above covers most of it – while I don’t think I changed any technical thing, I feel like everything about my writing has improved because I’m not so worried anymore, I’m writing out of the joy of it, rather than for others.

That, and I have worked on not letting the notes/numbers or others’ response dictate my own enjoyment of the fic. I used to hate 99.8% of my writing. I’d get upset while writing it because it did something weird, publish it, and be done. Except to occasionally glance at the notes/kudos and get more upset because it wasn’t doing well. The random hate or rude comments would have me considering a full deletion.

And of course, I still have moments like that, especially if it’s a close friend that’s made a comment about it; but for the most part now – I don’t hate my stuff. Rude readers’ comments get deleted and hand-waved, and I’ve worked on adopting a much more realistic outlook on my writing and the numbers. I realized that once I did that, they really aren’t as bad as they seemed when I was comparing myself to others.

All in all, I think my writing has improved a lot this year just due to me shifting my mindset away from the negative, self-depreciating train of thought that I’ve spent most of my life in and working toward a healthier outlook overall.

Name one thing you'd like to improve on in the future? Why, and how do you think you could do it?

I’d like to work on improving my ability to write humor with confidence – though I’ve tried it, I’m insecure about it, and worry it comes off flat which makes me dislike the fic. I’d like to practice at it more and get more confident in writing it so I can enjoy the humor fics I do put out (albeit rarely). I know I have moments of good humor, and I think channeling that and working at it will really help.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

I’d like to keep a similar goal as this year; 200k seems to be a pretty attainable goal without burning myself out, so that’s probably where I’ll put the goal next year as well.

In regards to fic writing itself, I’d like to play more with Dead Dove and dark topics, I really love exploring them and now that I’ve dipped into it I want to do a lot more.

I’d love to write more transgender character fics. I love writing them, and there’s so little well-written (and not kinda icky/lowkey -phobic) fics with trans members, I feel like it’s one of those times where I really do need to be the one to write the stories I wanna read, so I hope to put out a few more in the upcoming year.

I’d also like to play more with other groups that I’ve gotten interested in; I’ve done a little SHINee, but I want to do more, as well as possibly fics for Pink Fantasy and Astro. They’ve made some small appearances in my fics, but I wanna give them as a focus in a fic a shot too. And finally, I also want to find another chapter fic idea to really pull my focus like Moonlight Remains did this year. I had so much fun writing it and the payback I got from it – even if it was difficult to write such a long piece – was just so rewarding. I want to try that again.

~AND FINALLY, FICS WRITTEN IN 2021~

Namgi

🍭 An Erudite Brick Wall - Yoongi is a brick wall professor. His spouse, on the other hand, is a blabbermouth. (Fluff, Slice of Life, College Professors, Drabble)

Namkook

🔥 Bewitched by Babysitter - Namjoon is a young, single father who is set up on a blind date. He needs a babysitter, and his friend knows just the man to help. (fluff, getting together, dad Namjoon, college student Jungkook, dirty talk, rough sex)

🔥 Weak - Jungkook is determined to make Namjoon’s most hidden fantasy come true for his birthday. (PWP, cuckolding, consensual humiliation, degradation, dirty talk, name-calling, rough sex, bareback, coming untouched, crying, multiple partners, voyeurism, Jungkook x Yoongi, Jungkook x Jimin)

Yoonjin

🔥 Desire of the Morning - Yoongi and Jin get a nap in while filming Run! BTS. (PWP, Frottage, Masturbation, Dirty Talk, Light Exhibitionism)

2seok

🔥 Debuting & Dating - Jin’s had a crush on Hoseok since he met him, and it finally paid off. Now if only he could get more than a minute alone with him. (PWP, makeshift sex toys, face fucking, dirty talk, clothed sex, semi-public sex)

Jinmin

📚🔥💔 All I Want for Christmas is You (& a Ticket Out of Here) - Seokjin returns to his small hometown after a decade, hoping for a Hallmark holiday romance. He learns he didn’t have to go so far from home for it. (Angst, Fluff, Holidays, Homophobia, Hallmark Trope, Angst with a Happy Endings, Past Relationships, Past Bullying, Chapter Fic, Smut, Rough, Dirty Talk)

Taejin

🔥 Night’s Delights - When Taehyung finally managed to summon an incubus, the last thing he expected was for him to be his half brother. (Dead Dove, Half Sibling Incest (Consensual), Double Penetration, Tail Sex, Excessive Come, Dirty Talk)

🔥 Early Morning Workout - Jin has some new ways to motivate Taehyung in their morning workouts. It goes better than he could have imagined. (PWP, Dead Dove, Deepthroating, Facefucking, Watersports, Wetting, Vomit, Emetophilia, Dirty Talk, Omorashi, Rough Sex, Choking, Gagging)

Jinkook

 🔥 When Your Nightmare is a Fantasy - It’s Halloween, and Jungkook convinces Jin to go to a haunted house. But everything isn’t quite as innocent as it seems. (Dubious Consent, Horrorporn, Fear Kink, Masked Sex, Knifeplay, Bloodplay, Breathplay, Dirty Talk, Roleplaying, Rough Sex, Sex Toys)

🔥 Warm Beach Afternoons - It’s far too hot for any sort of nonsense, Jin thinks. Jungkook has other ideas. (PWP, cockwarming, dirty talk, watersports, Omorashi, deepthroating, semi-public)

🔥Night Sparks - Jin can’t stand the dragon living next to him; he’s loud and obnoxious and gorgeous and smart and funny and– He’s nothing but trouble. (Hybrid AU, Neighbors AU, Enemies to Lovers, Non-Traditional ABO Dynamics, Alpha/Alpha Relationship, Breeding Kink, Dirty Talk, Aggression, Displays of Dominance, Fist Fights, Name Calling, Submission, Knotting, Rough Sex)

Sope

💔🔥 Black Rose - He was beautiful and deadly. Just like the thorns of the black roses he left behind in his wake. (angst, major character death, vampires, blood drinking, biting, illnesses, supernaturally induced amnesia)

💔🔥 Late Night Comfort - After a particularly intense scene, Hoseok pulls away. (D/s, Dom Drop, Subspace, Aftercare, Arguing, Crying, Bruises, Panties, Light Bondage, Oral Sex, Dirty Talk)

💔 Posthumous Proposal - The world had never been very kind to Yoongi. (Christmas, Pre-Fic Death, Major Character Death)

Yoonmin

🔥💔 The Hand of Fate - On Jimin’s 18th birthday, he’s given to a cruel king via the Law of Surprise. But the tides of Fate may yet turn in his favor… (Smut, The Witcher inspired au, royalty au, arranged marriage, angst with a happy ending, Physical, Verbal, Mental Abuse, Slavery, Starvation, Humiliation, Degradation, Cruelty, Blood, Gore, Violence, Implied/Referenced Incest, Attempted Rape, Implied/Referenced Rape, Monsters, Minor Character Death)

🔥Maid in Hollywood - It’s 2014 K-Con and Yoongi has a surprise for his boyfriend. (pwp, hybrid au, dirty talk, maid outfit, rough sex, tail pulling, dirty talk, panties, heels, makeshift anal plugs)

🔥 Afternoon Naps - Jimin finds out his boyfriend’s biggest secret, and reveals his own biggest kink. They realize that this can benefit both of them. (Smut, Consensual Somnophilia, Vampires, Dirty Talk, Biting/Blood Drinking, Sleeping Medication, Consensual Necrophilia (Technically), Temporary Character Death)

Taegi

🔥💔 Mountday Afternoon - Taehyung has a secret that’s kept him from dating for most of his life, but Yoongi’s presence makes him wonder if it might be time to share it. (Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Past Trauma, Body Shaming, Anxiety, Crying, Arguments, Micropenis)

🍭 Sharp Reproval - The nobles shouldn’t mingle with the commoners. Otherwise they might get some of their opinions. That’s exactly what Yoongi is hoping for. (Slice of Life, Historical (albeit inaccurate), Daechwita inspired (loosely), Enemies to Friends to Lovers)

Yoonkook

🔥💔 📚 Moonlight Remains the Same - Jungkook spent his entire life forced to be someone he wasn’t. Enrolling in an all male college where nobody knows his old pronouns, he finally has a chance to be the guy he’s always been inside. Jungkook only has two goals his first year: excelling academically and keeping his past private. But his plans get a little tougher when he ends up rooming with Yoongi, a basketball star with a rotten attitude and a superiority complex. Can Jungkook keep the turmoil in his world (and his heart) to a minimum as he learns there might be more to Yoongi than meets the eye? Or will it all come crashing down around him? (chapter fic, slow burn, college AU, transgender character, enemies to friends to lovers, To the Beautiful You AU, angst, homophobia, transphobia, bullying, smut, happy ending)

🔥 Rest, Relaxation... And Exploration - Jungkook knows that Yoongi needs a break, and wants to help him relax. He just hadn’t planned on THAT kind of relaxing. collaboration with @i-live-so-i-love (friends to lovers, Nephilim Jungkook, monster/human romance, mutual masturbation, tentacle monster)

Vhope

🍭 A Calculated Risk - When Hoseok sees the crying young man on the plane next to him, he wonders if the calculated certainty of his life is really worth the loneliness. (strangers to lovers, anxious Hoseok, fluff, slice of life)

🔥 High Tide of the Afternoon - Taehyung and Hoseok are spending the day at the lake when Taehyung’s shy bladder becomes a problem. (PWP, Watersports, Wetting, Desperation, Semi-Public Sex)

🍭 The Bugbear & the Barista - Taeyung is Hoseok’s loyal customer. But boy is he strange. (Slice of Life, Coffee Shop AU)

Hopekook

😂 The Chili Accident - Jungkook and Hoseok get a rare day off and know exactly what to do with it. Unfortunately for Jungkook, Hoseok was in a hurry. (Fluff, Slice of Life, Humor, Enemas, Pain (not the sexy kind), Food (again not the way you think), Crackfic)

Vmin

🔥 Afternoon’s Sunshowers - Taehyung had been warned to stay away from humans, but this one was just so fascinating. (PWP, Strangers to Lovers, Fantasy Creatures AU, Dryad AU, Tentacles (Vine Tentacles), Outdoor Sex)

🍭 Inane & Anonymous - Jimin is the subject of anonymous online hate. Taehyung learns why it affects Jimin so deeply. (Slice of Life, Light Angst, Coming Out, Anonymous/Online Hate, Twitter Hate, Nonbinary Character, Gender Dysphoria)

Jikook

🔥 Wolf Boy - Jimin has a very specific kink. Jungkook decides tonight’s the night to oblige him. (pwp, werewolf au, rough sex, sex with a sentient animal, sex in shifted form, consensual sex, knotting, begging, overstimulation)

🔥 Thighday Morning - “Yesterday Jimin and I were drinking and playing around. I picked him up and swirled him and he got dizzy, so he bit me.” (PWP, Intercrural Sex, Thigh Kink, Alcohol, Non-Penetrative Sex)

💔 Falling - Everything was empty. Jungkook couldn’t take it anymore. (Angst, Post-Breakup, Fighting, Idolverse, Closeted Character, Alcohol Use, Ambiguous/Open Ending)

🔥 Morning’s Sound - It’s Jimin’s birthday and Jungkook’s gift is his biggest fantasy. (PWP, Sounding, Omorashi, Watersports)

Taekook

🔥 Breadsticks & a Boyfriend - When Taehyung took a simple order of pizza, breadsticks, and a soda to a customer on a rainy day, he had no idea how good his tip would be. (PWP, strangers to lovers, rough sex, sex toys, face fucking)

x Reader

🍭 Neighbor Troubles (Hoseok x GN Reader) - Your cat was an escape artist; your neighbor was a devil. What could go wrong? (Fluff)

🔥 Isn’t Nature Beautiful? (Jimin x F Reader) - You and Jimin go for a walk on his day off, but all he seems to have eyes for is the trees.(PWP, public sex, jealous reader)

🔥 Green with Envy (Taehyung x F Reader) - Taehyung is a little jealous of your friends. He decides everyone needs to know who you belong to. (pwp, jealous!Taehyung, hair pulling, thigh sex, clothed sex)

🔥 Happy Ending (Jungkook x M Reader) - Jungkook had a bad day. It’s up to you to make sure he relaxes. (PWP, squirting, dirty talk, tentacles, tentacle monster!reader, transgender Jungkook, vaginal sex, multiple penetration)

🔥 My Tentacle Romance (Seokjin x Agender Reader) - You didn’t mean to scare him. You didn’t to fall in love with him, either. (agender reader, tentacle monster reader, meet weird, cum inflation, excessive cum, gagging, choking, dirty talk, oviposition, multiple penetration, mild bondage (but with tentacles))

Polyam BTS

🍭 Snivel While You Work (Jungkook x Namjoon x Taehyung) -  Taehyung should know better to make bets he may not win. (slice of life)

🔥 Sweet Cream Nights - The local video game arcade owner is in love with the local barista who is also in love with the local baker. What could go wrong? (smut, fluff, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers, bakery au, coffee shop au, arcade au, food play, dirty talk)

💔🔥 An Inconvenient Attachment (Jimin x Jungkook x Yoongi) - When Yoongi agreed to go on a two week winter getaway to the mountains with his roommates, he expected peace, quiet, and plenty of alone time with his roommate with benefits Jungkook. What he did not expect was to be handcuffed to his worst enemy for the duration of the trip. He figured it couldn’t get worse… Until it did. (snowed in, handcuffed together, friends with benefits, polyamory, past violence, past murder, past abuse, discussion of murder, semi-graphic descriptions of violence, blood drinking)

🔥 Lazy Dog Mornings (Hoseok x Jimin x Jungkook x Taehyung) - Taehyung brings Jimin to spend a lazy Saturday with Hoseok and Jungkook for a puppy play date. (PWP, puppy play, dirty talk, rough sex, knotting cock rings, discussion of breeding, D/s relationship)

🔥 Handsome & Free - Seokjin had a very specific kink he wanted to try out. His boyfriends were more than happy to help out. (PWP, free use, multiple penetration, degredation (consensual), watersports, face fucking, light pet play, light D/s, consensual somnophilia, distracted sex, cockwarming, dirty talk, consensual objectification)

BTS x SHINee

🔥 Creature of the Night (Jimin x Taemin) - Jimin’s cousin steals a box from their neighbor. Their very attractive, very sexually adventurous neighbor. (Meet Cute, Sex Toys, Anal Gaping, Anal Play, Bad Dragon, Dirty Talk, Anal Training, Neighbor AU)

SHINee

🔥 Morning Tangles (Minho x Taemin) - Taemin loves taking Minho to new heights and pushing new limits. Will this finally be one step too far? (PWP, dirty talk, overstimulation, bondage, light D/s, Bottom Dominant, Teasing, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Ruined Orgasms, Begging, Sex Toys)

🔥 Voyeursday Afternoon (Kibum x Taemin + Jinki) - Kibum and Taemin spend some quality time alone together. At least, they thought they were alone. (PWP, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Rough Sex, Light D/s Themes, Dirty Talk, Bondage, Spanking)

🔥 Mid-Afternoon Dispute (Kibum x Minho) - It’s a love/hate relationship. Kibum loves to remind Minho how much he hates him (even if they both know it’s not really true). (Love/Hate, Arguing/Fighting, Bickering, Teasing/Name-Calling, Friends with Benefits, Hate Sex, Dirty Talk, Rough Sex, Choking, Biting, Breathplay, Light Bondage, Scratching, Light Painplay, Cock Slapping)

And that’s that! Here’s my full masterlist if you want some more of my stuff; and my AO3 if you prefer to read over there.

My ask box is always open for questions, comments, or chatter!

Thank you to everyone that has been so lovely this year; readers, new friends, friendly anons in my inbox. You’ve all been a huge comfort and support and I hope we continue to share great memories into 2022 and onward.

[a-shrieking-cloud-of-bats]

so earlier this year I attempted to stop buying so many video games because I thought I needed to finish the ones I have and while I still believe that, that attempt has absolutely imploded and I’ve given up for the rest of the year

which means it’s time to go over steam summer sale games that I bought, click the names for steam pages.

listed in no particular order

this is not an extremely in depth review set and I haven’t finished most of them (but I have played most of them long enough to get a handle on them)

so yeah

Steam Summer Sale Roundup 2022

The Last Spell - this was a game I was sort’ve nervous about getting and god damn I am so happy I got it; easily my number one

turn based strategy game (think fire emblem, isometric though), the hook is the in depth character creation, loads of stats to pick from, and while it’s a fairly difficult game and there are some clear winners, but I’d say none of the stats are useless, which is nice

additionally, weapon type determines your moveset, for instance...

one handed swords have a lot of mobility based moves, the attacks move you, you get more damage on one of their attacks depending on how many tiles you moved prior to using it

one handed axes are “cleave” focused, with a lot of skills that hit a small area (its basic attack equivelent hits 3 tiles, which is nuts), in exchange they are inaccurate

one handed hammers are big on single target damage and stuns

and so on; you can see how this variation would encourage you to build characters differently based on the weapon they’re using, I’m sure

with this said most weapon types must be unlocked, but the game is hard enough that I think having an introductory period where you’re racking up currency/getting achievements that unlock stuff is reasonable enough

unit death is permenant and in fact, damage is semi permenant; you go through multiple nights on stages and damage carries over between the nights, along with spent MP. This does two things, it puts a lot of focus on HP regen/MP regen when picking stat ups (not my favorite thing but I accept it as a quirk of the system they put in place), and makes you think about how often you’re using those big fancy skills that stun and do huge damage, a big part of the game’s difficulty is resource management, which leads into the next (and final) mechanic, town building

you’re defending a town in this game and it starts out mostly fucked up, every day (as opposed to night) you pick upgrades, build new buildings, and tell workers what to do for the day, there’s stuff that generates gold (needed to build buildings), materials (needed to build walls), stuff that gives free armor and weapons, stuff that restores HP/MP for gold cost (there are upgrades for freebies)

overall the game offers a load of depth and replayability and even as much as it’s twisting my balls I’m enjoying it quite a bit, it’s giving me darkest dungeon vibes

the plot is nothing to write home about but it works, basically wizards made a spell that fucks up towns, it’s used in military action, the spell creates purple mist that zombifies the dead, the rest is history, medieval zombie apocalypse plot take it or leave it; also as a result of this event mages have been spurned and are now forced to end the concept of magic, hence the title, you’re protecting a mage that’s working on a segment of the spell

there’s also some weird stuff going down with the upgrade vendors and how the MC seems to be resetting time but I dunno nothin about that yet

at any rate if you love difficult turn based strategies and character customization, you could hardly do worse!

Earth’s Dawn - Japanese Indie side scrolling beat-em-up, basically aliens invade earth and humans get beaten back but there’s a secret project that you’re a part of that makes you into a robo human that can kill the aliens and like I said with the last spell, take it or leave it; this shit ain’t shakespeare. what it is though is a surprisingly simple beatemup with some heavy focus on upgrades, you can upgrade your weapons, you can upgrade your armors, you can unlock new skills, and this is overall sort’ve a grindy beat-em-up where you’re doing a lot of little random stuff to get Points to Get More Upgrades to Do More Stuff, etc

that’s the draw of it anyway, I personally love this shit

the progression is a little funky in places (there’s an early game mission that puts you up against an extremely tanky basic enemy that you are basically guarenteed to die to) and I think the bosses are too tanky overall but death does nothing significant

not a bad beat-em-up, nothing groundbreaking, a lot of where it is on this list is due to my personal affinity for a good grind and beat-em-ups

Mind Scanners - this is a game a pal recommended to me because it looked like papers please (and it does! It was clearly inspired by the game), however it plays significantly differently. Less paperwork, more warioware. We’ll touch on the plot first though.

The game starts with the local oppressive government taking away your daughter because she’s got a rare form of infectious mental illness. You become something called a Mind Scanner, which is a sort’ve futuristic kinda campy form of psychologist where you determine if people are mentally ill and then administer treatment if so through various tools at your disposal (these are the warioware microgame things). As the plot progresses you learn about a revolutionary group that’s attempting to free the city from the reign of an oppressive government.

The second half of that paragraph obviously sounds familiar, it’s a fairly common concept for a game these days. But mind scanners works with it remarkably well. When you’re treating individuals, failures will build stress, where max stress makes the patient freak out and run away from you (and probably get you taxed the next day), and there’s a sanity bar, as there’s a subplot about how the tools can erase people’s minds or something, it honestly never gets explored particularly well. Regardless this sets up a few potential outcomes for various patients.

either you think the patient is sane, and let them go, this gives you a few bucks, you find them insane and treat them, this gives you a larger paycheck, or you find someone insane, think they’re not worth letting exist (or you erase them on request from someone), and erase their brain on purpose. This gives you a paycheck for treatment but if done on the wrong person can have consequences. Money is used on rent and buying new tools. The game tends to make you feel bad for erasing minds, obviously, and the revolutionary group doesn’t like it when you do it either.

All this lines up to make an interesting game that’s attempting to tell a story that’s way too long for it to sustain. The story isn’t bad; I especially appreciate that this is a game plot like this that doesn’t beat me over the head with how the fucking government is evil; I hate that; but ultimately 6 minigames with some side ones you can do to get minor auxilary benefits is not a lot of content. Additionally I think the game tries a little bit too hard to be “difficult”, because some of the later patients can take like 2 days to treat entirely, and it’s kind’ve hard to optimize the minigames you use. The game ends up dragging on for a plot that’s heading towards a pretty obvious direction by the time it starts dragging on.

It’s not bad and it’s pretty cheap; worth picking up if you’re looking for a decent plot and a game that doesn’t take itself too seriously mechanically. There was definitely interest in getting new tools and seeing how they worked, but the game ran a bit too long for me. Will definitely finish it eventually, but the repetition does make it hard to push through.

Full Bore - I am not a puzzle game player. Full Bore is a block based puzzle game. Full bore is Extremely Good. Full bore is also abandoned by its dev and has some bugs. They don’t seem to be game breaking, and I’ve never heard of them halting progress in the game, but it’s also not exactly a super popular game. They are Definitely Noticible, and Definitely Stress Me Out. Take note. Game would probably be higher then mind scanners if I wasn’t so concerned about the bugs.

Full Bore is a game about a boar that stumbles into a minefield that explodes, tossing him underground, which leads to him getting into a rocket that takes him to a Place, where the dominant species is boars. He’s also framed for a gem heist. There’s some time/location ambiguity going on with the plot, and while the plot is obviously not the main focus, is interesting.

Game is quite simple, you can dig blocks, blocks react in certain ways depending on where they are, what they are, and what they are surrounded by, in some cases. Rock falls slowly and digs slowly, sand and silt fall quickly and dig quickly (and can be broken from a distance by a stomp), that sort’ve thing.

Your goal is to get gems to pay off your debt. On the tin, anyway. The real goal is to dig down, find terminals explaining the plot, and eventually reach a culmination of said plot. Saying more would be too much. If you like block based puzzle games, check it out, I really think it stands out from what I’ve heard of the genre. If you like weird sci fi, consider it. It’s not a primary focus, but the plot might hook you. I’m certainly interested. The game doesn’t let the fact that it’s a puzzle game keep it from doing interesting narrative stuff, which I appreciate, I feel like a lot of puzzle games resign themselves to being a quirky vector for Weird Tetris. Or whatever. Anyway.

Skul: The Hero Slayer - Skul is another roguelite in a long line of roguelites. I keep buying them and I’m not sure why, but I’m not letting that effect my opinion of Skul. I initially thought it was pretty bad, but ultimately it’s a platforming action roguelite that has some excellent pixel art, a solid difficulty curve, and.. not as much variety as I’d like.

The game revolves around a little skeleton by the name of Skul, who works for the demon king. The First Hero captures the demon king in the intro and your job is to rescue him. Along the way, you and a witch that also works for the demon king learn the heros are using something called dark quartz which warps creatures into abominations and removes their will. Moral Ambiguity Plot

the plot is not incredible. Not a big deal, most roguelite plots aren’t. It’s a cute concept, but it’s mostly a surface level thing, beyond the primary gimmick. As a skeleton you can swap skulls. This gives you new movesets and gimmicks. This was part of the reason I didn’t like it initially; these skulls have A Lot of work put into them. They are all upgradable, which unlock additional mechanics in the skull, and you can generally think of a skull as a class moreso then a piece of gear. You can carry two skulls, somehow, and swap between them, with a cooldown preventing you from spamming it (many skulls do something unique on swap).

There are also passive items, and if you’ve played a roguelite you already know what they do. Increased attack speed, increased attack power, chance to stun, yadda yadda.

This overall makes skul a roguelite more about good execution rather then getting a series of items that makes something insane happen that wins you the game. To compare it to its contemporary, Dead Cells, Skull is more about precision platforming and dead cells is more about getting through stages as fast as possible, while killing as many enemies as possible. At the end of the day Skul feels like an odd combo of slow, careful platforming and replayable, six runs an hour roguelite stuff. I frequently feel more hampered by my ability to platform, which is weird. When the platforming and combat are put in the same place, enemies are frequently put in places specifically to make you approach things slowly and carefully, which is also weird, because the game is very fast when it doesn’t do that. It’s not a bad game. But it is a weird game. I suppose it’s to be expected from a genre as populated as this one.

Ultimately my beef with skul is that the platforming is Very Finnicky. The number of times I’ve bopped my head into a spike ceiling and lost a tenth of my very important health pool is absurd given I’ve never gotten past the first world. This frequently happens even when enemies are not present, and while I might just be bad, I also think that “be careful don’t jump too high ha ha” is a messy design concept to begin with. I’ll probably play it more but I can’t shake the feeling that it’s more because it’s designed to tug on my endorphin glands rather then a legitimate desire to play that game specifically.

Shiren the Wanderer: The Tower of Fortune and the Dice of Fate - Look I could keep you for like 4 paragraphs but Shiren the Wanderer is the grandaddy of mystery dungeon games. If you’ve ever played Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games, they’re similar, though it’s not pokemon so it has to get the Pokemon Variety from somewhere else, namely gear and items. You have usable items that cause effects, equipment that applies passive effects/has super effective hits on certain enemy types, and the game is tough as nails and more of a long burn thing. If you’re looking for a roguelike that doesn’t have a page of DnD stats on every item and does have a graphical interface, you could do much much worse.

Hellsinker - Hellsinker is an extremely fast top down shmup that will probably blow you apart if you’re not used to shmups. It probably will even if you are. It is also a historic game within the genre, and lead to a load of innovations in other games within the genre.

The game starts with 3 selectable characters and more unlock as it goes along. There’s a surprisingly in depth plot that’s mostly kept in the manual, and I don’t understand any of it because I’m still working on stage 2.

Mechanically it varies by having two meters on the left, sol and luna, which determine how much damage your primary shot does and how fast it fires, respectively. Luna depletes when you shoot, sol depletes when you bomb (which can only be done at 3 or more sol, both meters cap at 5).

So, yeah. Shmup! You either know how they work or you don’t. If you don’t I highly reccomend another shmup. I’ll reccomend Zero Ranger. Nice, easy going, and not too esoteric, but also won’t just give you the win.

Video James; the sale is still going on as of now so most of these games should still be on sale! Check em out. Or don’t. It’s not like I spent an hour and a half typing this up. (seriously though don’t feel obligated)