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yaminerua · 2 years ago

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I once read a soulmate AU for a different fandom where the way the connection eventually manifested was that whatever someone wrote or drew on their own skin, it would transfer to their soulmate’s. And I was thinking of the applications of it for Rimster given that time Rimmer resorted to scrawling revision notes on his arms and legs.

Like, Lister’s probably used to occasionally seeing some exam notes and other things pop up on his skin from time to time given how often Rimmer takes exams but usually it’s been within relatively normal boundaries. He’s not gonna judge. He doesn’t know much about the person on the other end of their inked connection but he hopes with all the tests they seem to take that they’re doing well. Sometimes he’ll even scrawl a little ‘good luck!’ on himself as a kind of encouragement to them.

The very first time something like this happens, Rimmer freaks out. Because oh holy smeg he has a soulmate! There’s someone out there for him! A real honest to god person!! Meant for him!! All the years of his brothers teasing him, acting like the universe would just skip bothering to assign him one, are washed away to be replaced by an initially heart-bursting glow of elation, but it’s followed swiftly by a deep-seated dread. Because oh god anything he writes on himself will be seen by this other person. What if he smegs the whole thing up!? He’s already caught their attention with his revision scrawlings, he’s going to have to tone it down to something that won’t be off-putting…

Fast forward and Lister has joined the Red Dwarf crew and it’s like any other day. He’s left his annoying bunkmate to stew in pre-exam nerves and he’s out and about on the ship, maybe trying to flirt with some of the lady officers when suddenly he notices his hand rapidly becoming covered in words, scrawled in a panicked frenzy, first across his palm, then the back of his hand and down onto the forearm. And yeah, sure, this has happened before, it’s no big deal. Except this is the most chaotic it’s ever been, especially since it’s now trailing right up his arm and if he doesn’t get out of public view people are going to notice.

So he runs back to the bunk room, hoping to grab a jacket or something to cover it up but he freezes as soon as he’s half-pulled it on because he spots Rimmer. Smeghead Supreme, Arnold Judas Rimmer, sitting with a textbook on his lap and his shirt sleeve rolled up, utterly engrossed in his pre-exam stress-induced frenzy of copying as much of the text from the book onto his own skin as possible.

The realisation hits like a truck and Lister cannot believe it. He refuses to. It’s gotta be a coincidence. Rimmer wouldn’t be the only person in the universe cramming for an exam, surely! Just because he is doesn’t mean what he’s writing is the same as what’s still being hurriedly scrawled up the inside of his left arm. The universe wouldn’t play that cruel a trick on him! Surely!

Rimmer hasn’t even noticed him come in and he’s muttering out loud each word as he copies it out from the book and Lister can only watch in horror as he sees the exact same words blossom across his own skin and oh this CANNOT be happening!!

So now you have Lister knowing that the universe has somehow, bizarrely, chosen to pair him up with Rimmer, and Rimmer blissfully unaware of the fact that the soulmate he’s yearned for his whole life is the lazy gimboid who just interrupted his revision by tossing an unwashed shirt at his head.

#Rimmer becoming a hologram after the leak makes the AU a bit odd bc why would it still work on him in that form #but suspending disbelief and allowing it to happen that way allows for some fun stuff #where Rimmer is bemoaning the fact he never got to find out who his soulmate was supposed to be and Lister is there awkwardly like oh boy…#last two people in the universe and they’re soulmates and he still hates the idea but it’s really starting to look like it was always meant #to happen this way so he grabs a pen and writes Smeghead on his arm and Rimmer watches in HORROR #just absolute horror and then he goes full on into denial like no this isn’t right #it can’t have been you the whole time! You’re a man (he’ll figure out how he feels about that later) and also I’d have known if it was you!#he tries to convince himself the universe just reassigned them each other bc they’re the only two left #but lister has to reluctantly tell him about the exam revision notes and that he knew it was Rimmer since before the accident #also this only works in ur own dimension so Lister writing on himself will only show on his Rimmer but not Ace bc Ace has his own back home #But it means that lister is able to confirm that it’s HIS Rimmer returning from being Ace by seeing the text he writes appear on his skin #Rimster #Or it could happen during the exam where Rimmer has his I Am A Fish breakdown #lister just sees I am a fish appear on his arm repeatedly and only finds out later #when he gets told about Rimmer’s exam incident #red dwarf

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thelastharbinger · 2 years ago

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I'll preface this by saying OP's points are very valid. Peter B. standing by while Gwen gets forcibly taken back to her universe with audiences placing all the blame on Jess for doing the same is indeed fucked.

But.

We quickly forget that Gwen being sent home is easily the least egregious thing these Spider People have done given that this is an organization with literal blood on its hands. All of them serve an institution that exists to uphold the canon by any means necessary. The Spideys standing idle while Gwen is exiled is standard HQ protocol; standing by while tragic events unfold is literally the job that gets asked of them. We are seeing another variation of the age-old tale that there can be no good apples within a system that is built on the harm of others. That's why Hobie quits after he sees Miles be restrained for what was intended to be two whole days, with no chance of ever saying goodbye to his father. That was his last straw. And it's why Gwen and Peter dissent later because the Spider Society goes from caging anomalies (the ones they can catch anyways) to caging their own who dare to protest to deciding who can and cannot be Spider-Man, all in the name of protecting the canon. But let's be very clear, all the Spider People carry red in their ledger.

If civilians die in a Spiderman-related conflict, and that gets deemed a canon event, even though that outcome can change given the sheer number of Spider persons on deck and vast amount of resources/futuristic technology of Nueva York-2099, those lives are allowed to become dispensable because L.Y.L.A., a piece of A.I. tech, instructs them so. This is the moral-ethical dilemma that Miles argues with them against. Think of all the relatives that are ushered to their very preventable deaths because it "furthers Spider-Man's plot", the Gwen Stacys that are left to die over and over because her role is to only ever be the one that slipped away and nothing more. The majority of Spider-Man villains are just regular people who fall victim to accidents or experimentation, and then their lives forever afterward are altered because of it. Case in point, The Spot, Lizard, Green Goblin, Sandman, Electro, etc. The trajectories of their lives have already been determined (and enforced by the folks at HQ) because they have to play out the role given to them based on the very first ever Spider-Man to ever exist in any universe.

And the Spideys go through with it because they've all been indoctrinated into the belief that the consequence every time is world-ending devastation. So nothing you do could ever be worse than letting billions of people and life forms die, correct? Right before Miles escapes, they are all attempting to contain a quantum hole that is threatening Pav's earth.

A detail that gets quickly overlooked is that Peter B. was right beside Miguel to witness his alternate reality disappear into nothingness in real time, and that is a trauma and weighty guilt that the film doesn't sit with long enough. But an event like that would definitely radicalize anyone into upholding Miguel's flawed philosophy. To add, Pete sees Miguel lose his daughter in his arms so there's an added layer of understanding as a father that keeps Peter loyal at Miguel's side.

Also, for the record, I don't entirely believe that the movie seeks to plant the culpability of Gwen's excommunication all on Jess. To me, Jess' arc is that of a blind follower to skeptic, and Gwen is the test to her faith. Jessica Drew is Miguel's right hand and boldly follows wherever he goes, trusting in his stance completely without yielding, because again, the stakes are high, so everything must be worth it.

I think the movie lingers on Jess in this moment because that is where we start to see her belief crack. (Obviously it's also bc Gwen and Jessica are the mentor-mentee relationship focus in this film, and Gwen idolizes Jess so much from the jump.) It isn't until Gwen rebuttals against Miguel's tactics that Jess begins to ponder the possibility of another alternative. We see this turn solidified when she overhears Gwen talking to Rio and Jeff, saying that what she learned from their son is that "it's all possible."

What makes Spidey such a heartbreaking hero is that even their wins feel like losses. There's always an unfair hand that gets dealt and an impossible choice to make. It's the, do I tell the girl I like who I am and expose her to my double life or refuse any shot of romantic love in order to keep them safe? It's the fact that Spidey can never play a fair game in any sport because they'll win every time and they must act with principle. Do I show up on time for my dad's promotion party or do I take care of the person getting mugged? Do I act on my feelings with the boy I like or keep a distance because I might die and also I'm not allowed to? The concessions Spideys have to take are self-sacrificial. Jess knows this well, telling Gwen she simply "got over it" anytime she got too close.

Because she had to. There's little room for personal pleasure. Jess exchanges personal desires for the sake of something or someone else and will continue to do so because that is what they're called to do. The woman is fighting while pregnant when she could and should be resting, if you needed any other indicator. The world versus this one life is the classic Spidey conundrum just bloated and exacerbated to the largest scale possible. And here, without Miguel present to squash the idea that once in a while you can have two cakes, a jaded Jess is able to accept it as an offering. Ultimately, she'll choose it because I think she wants Miles' version of things to be true.

None of the Spideys are happy doing what they're doing.

They comply because they think they have to and don't believe there is another way to maintain the multiverse intact. Jess needed reminding that what makes a Spider-person who they are is that if there is even a sliver of a chance to save someone, to assume that responsibility, they'll take it. Because Spideys never give up. They don't have to become passive towards circumstance. Spidey always bounces back. That is their core.

The reason why I don't hate Peter B Parker is because where we meet him in this movie, he's resigned himself to the attitude of "that's just the way things go" and "you can't win here."

Peter B. has devolved back into a remixed version of the nihilism from the first film because he knows that there is nothing he can do within the Spider Society to end any of the unnecessary suffering. The only difference this time is the use of "comedy as crutch" so that he can cope.

All the Spideys are forced to create this deeper meaning around their grief, tying it to their character development because if not, how else would they go through with all of it? All of the Spideys go through a conditioning process when they arrive at HQ.

They get told that their tragedies had to happen and that they must commit to a life of actively working to ensure that the cycle continues each and every time. We also don't know how they key these canon events into play in the presence of an anomaly. Do they just sit back and watch to make sure that the people that die die or do they sometimes have to instigate the casualty that is supposed to happen that day? Do they become accessories to murder, and if so, how do they grapple with that? Plus, to top it all off: it all began with Miles.

To be met with this "truth" would be destabilizing for anyone, which is why we see all the Spider People surrounding Miles once he learns of the canon within the Spider Verse. In a way, I think our Humbling Reality Spider Man is more helpless in ATSV than he was in ITSV because his only silver lining is his daughter, MayDay, whom he only had because he met and mentored Miles who he is now being told he has to turn his back on. Peter B only has the life he has now because he formed a connection with Miles, who we know he loves, which he then discovers wasn't supposed to happen. It begs reminding that both Peter and Gwen volunteer to die in Miles' universe because they both feel they have nothing to go back to except their grief. My guess is he keeps MayDay close at all times because maybe he worries she's an anomaly and can be taken away at any moment since she's a ripple-affect of Miles becoming Spidey (or maybe he would have always ended back up with MJ but that anxiety could still be present).

When he goes back and has that conversation with MJ over whether he would be any good at this, I read that line of questioning as him reevaluating whether he can trust himself to make the right calls for his daughter because he's distressed by his inability to show up for Miles. This does further get complicated by my interpretation that Peter B. does garner some sense of fulfillment in being part of the society; he can rely on the fact that he has to take orders because he knows his track record of screwing things up and doesn't trust himself to do his best work alone. Peter needs the security of a team. With the Spider Society, he can be better, do better, or so he thought.

To OP's point about Peter demonstrating no remorse or signs of devising some sort of rescue plan for Gwen: granted that the timeline between Gwen getting kicked out, reuniting with her dad, and going out to recruit all of her friends happens within a matter of hours, I think we can give him a pass for not immediately jumping to action before finally putting his baby to sleep. It appeared to me at least that he was still processing all that had happened. At this point, he does know that he is wrong for how things played out. MJ's line about making adjustments at half-time is just as much advice for raising their child as it is the exact words of wisdom he needs to hear to fix up the situation with Gwen and Miles. I believe that was his signal to pivot, and he would've taken it if Gwen never showed up. Given more time, he would've mustered up the courage to challenge Miguel on his ideology and execution, and would've advocated for Gwen's return. But yeah, Gwen's situation gets resolved all in the same evening, so calling into question the plausibility of his inaction feels like nit-picking to me.

I'll also give him the benefit of the doubt of not knowing that Gwen was homeless given that Gwen would be spending most of her time shadowing Jessica, and he likely entered the Spider Society some time after Gwen given Miguel's reluctance to bring Gwen for the reason they both share, which is their affection for Miles. So who knows if they ever had that conversation, and if they did, maybe he assumed that this is how Spider Woman ends up in the sole care of Aunt May.

But regardless of whether he put up any sort of a fight, it doesn't entirely seem like the Spider Society has any real system of checks and balances to begin with. Miguel seemingly governs with an iron fist and goes unquestioned, as evidenced by the instance where he gave the order to "stop Spider-Man", and everyone blindly listened, asking who instead of why. Whatever he says goes. There is no winning here.

And it isn't until Gwen is forced home that we, as the audience, are freed of any doubt as to whether they are justified. We are no longer in alignment. Their goals are not worth retraumatizing our lead and countless others. The Spider Society as it currently exists is the worst reaction to the Trolley Problem. The big question this movie poses: is loss necessitated for Spidey to be Spidey? Can we remove the hero from its classic tropes, and if so, what are we left with? The answer is, endless opportunity.

Right now, our characters are playing catch up. They are making that leap of faith again. That they can sometimes, in fact, do/have both. Hoping to right their wrongs and save the friend that inspired them all to continue going on in the first place.

Wanna know why I don't like Peter B.?

Because when Gwen was actively forced into homelessness in front of him, he literally didn't help at all. And then it gets framed on JESS.

Gwen asks for help. And Peter says this:

Jess asks him to stop talking.

And from this moment forward, Peter makes no effort whatsoever to help Gwen.

Mind you. This is AFTER Miles' escape. After the whole 'shocked Peter' gif. Peter knows Miguel is willing to get violent.

But that line is his only attempt to help.

Even as he watches Gwen be fully restrained and physically forced into the machine. He stands there and watches.

He doesn't try to web her. He doesn't try to stop the machine or talk to Miguel. He stands there in silence. Watching Gwen get sent home to a universe he knows she is homeless in.

And the movie just lets him. Despite the fact he's known Gwen longer than anybody in this room.

Instead, Jess is the only mentor at fault. We're told to blame her.

During this scene we never pan to Peter, standing there literally motionless as Gwen gets dragged away. He's not panicking, or trying to talk Miguel out of it. We're just expected to absolve him of blame.

It's Jess' fault. Jess is her 'failed mentor' - despite the fact that Peter has known Gwen longer, is shown to have a better relationship with her, and we're given no reason as to why he wasn't her mentor to begin with.

Jess says this, and we're supposed to judge her for it. While Peter said nothing at all. At most he made a joke and then shut up when he was told.

Jess might've believed she couldn't help Gwen - but what was Peter's excuse? Standing there and watching this happen? He doesn't feel the need to do anything, say anything, or even leave the room.

For him, watching this is fine. And Gwen NEVER confronts him about it.

We're not supposed to blame Peter for letting Miles and Gwen down, repeatedly.

Even when Gwen is being physically forced into homelessness in front of him.

We're told to blame the black woman when the white man who has known Gwen longer literally stands beside Jess motionless.

Had Hobie not left Gwen the watch - We're left to assume that Peter would've just... let her be homeless in her dimension.

He watched her get sent home, said nothing, then went home to his wife and kid to ponder whether or not he was a bad mentor.

Not if Gwen was okay. Or whether he should go check on her????

That's NOT OKAY???!!!! THAT'S TERRIBLE!!!!!!! And this is the man we're supposed to be routing for? This, the dude who shows NO signs he was even gonna go and check on Gwen? The dude who lets child abuse go down in front of him TWICE and he just stands there blinking? That's our Peter Parker?

And I'm supposed to be thrilled to have him on the team??? Despite the fact Gwen had to come TO HIM. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND???? Gwen doesn't see a problem with that?????

I'm supposed to be happy he's here? Forreal???

Oh joy. Thank you so much, Humbling Reality Spider-man. We love you.

I hate Peter B. ALL MY HOBIES HATE PETER B. (Not a typo)

#like no. not all hobies hate peter b. if hobie can stand by gwen after she was willing to let inspector singh die #i think he'll give peter the same grace he's given gwen bc they are all in the wrong here #why would anyone hate on jess gwen or peter b when miguel's dump truck ass is right there???#re op's comment abt peter traumatizing mayday by seeing her go bye in the go home machine: she ain't gone remember that bbg i promise #she 2. she's seen her dad get into actual fights. she'll be alright #but yeah we got bigger fish to fry than to hold it against our good guys for being flawed #that's just me tho. yall can feel however yall want. its all good #atsv #across the spiderverse #itsv #peter b parker #jessica drew #spider gwen #miguel o'hara #beyond the spiderverse #miles morales #if you read all that btw here's a gold star #🌟

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sprinklethetangerine · 3 months ago

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I've personally never understood the sentiment that any kind of animal is "gross"

#i mean i get why you would say that but... literally i just dont see how anyone can hate worms or frogs or fish or anything in nature #i just love nature so much #everything has something to offer from microscopic organisms to elephants. everything does something.#i just dont think i could hate something so beautiful.#animals #sprinkles says shit

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babygirlfeidu · 5 months ago

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why did i get myself so upset trying to fish for thames kingfin in london life for don paolo

#b roll #i hate the random fishing and flower picking quests #especially when the RNG just. wont give you the item the requestor wants #WHY WOULD THE GAME BE DESIGNED LIKE THAT

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jheselbraum · 2 years ago

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#so the british putting vinegar on french fries #led to the rise of salt and vinegar potato chips stateside #I'm guessing based on the mutual that I reblogged this from that it's also popular in Australia #like this is not me hating on the concept of #vinegar on potato #I get why you do it and I get why it works #though limon chips are definitely an improvement on this flavor idea imho #still that is a fish and chips specific condiment choice #like vinegar is not going to pair well with a burger #like you might be able to get it to work because ketchup has vinegar in it #but if you're putting ketchup on your burger #then you might as well put ketchup on your fries too #i realize that not all ketchups are created equal but #tomato ketchup is an american invention #if your ketchup doesn't taste good on fries get good I guess #but yeah as far as I'm aware #vinegar and potato as a flavor combo is pretty specific to the anglosphere and even then exact specifics vary from country to country #most everywhere else goes with ketchup or mayo #depends on your mayo of course #as like ketchup not all mayos are created equal #and some would pair much better with a french fry than others #side note i hope to god y'all are using vinegar powder and not dunking your fries into #like #a cup of liquid vinegar #side note I'd bet money that most if not all of the people who picked mayo #are from europe but not the uk #using the uk and not england specifically because i'm not 100% sure #what scotland and wales do with french fries #and I'm not invested enough to find out #so I'm using including them in the vinegarzone just to be safe

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yukarinuniversaltraveler · 7 months ago

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Is "commission culture" a thing? Sometimes when I see art I can't help but doubt/wonder if the artist drew it because they liked it, or just so they could fulfill a quota or something.

#random thoughts #“why would anyone draw something they don't like” you ask?#well #*points at every Twitter artist who lives off commission work*#which i mean MORE POWER TO THEM RIGHT #and i myself have drawn stuff i don't like just so i could fish some attention #i guess you could call it that #but like #I'd be sad to think someone drew something abd didn't really enjoy it just because “it's their job”#*squirms* i hate that phrase #it's not all about money y'all

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sayangrafayel · 2 months ago

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LADS react to you asking them to set you up with someone else

This was a fun request. I might slip some dynamic duo rivalry here.. hmm.. maybe this is the same universe as loft talk. This is pre relationship prank!

Sylus, Xavier, Rafayel, Zayne, Caleb.

Sylus (Rafayel)

"Hey, Sy. Can you set me up with one of your roommates?" "I don't have roommates." "? What do you mean. You have four roommates. I want the artist!" "No I absolutely do not. What artist?"

Would NEVER let you meet Rafayel, no matter what it takes. Rarely ever bring you back to the loft anymore.

Considered moving out of the loft and everything but stopped once you tell him it's a prank.

Xavier (Jeremiah)

"Xavie, is Jeremiah seeing anyone?" "I don't know a Jerry." "Jeremiah." "I don't know who that is either."

He gets SOOOO jealous (that's why we like him)

Why would you ask him to set you up with someone else. He's right there. He's perfect for you in every way. 🥺🥺🥺 - Xavier, probably

Rafayel (Sylus)

"Can you set me up with one of your friends?" "I don't have friends." "Yes you do! That fruit guy is breathtaking!" "You know what else is breathtaking? If I were to hold his head underwater." "Sorry?" "I said I am also breathtaking!"

He fish. Fish forgor stuff. Roommate? Who? Sylus? Thomas? Who???? What are you talking about?

Becomes extra mean to Sylus the next day and Sylus was so confused as to why is his bestfriend who is not his bestfriend seems to hate him more than usual!?

Zayne (Greyson)

"Dr. Zayne, can you set me up with Greyson?" "Why?" "Because.. I want to?" "His name is Doctor Greyson, and do you really want to..?" "Yes please! Set me up with Dr. Greyson!" "...." "Zayne?" "If that's what you want."

I don't think he's gonna try to stop you nor does he realize you're testing the waters to see how he feels about you, defeatedly gives Greyson your number, but Greyson was so confused because why would he hit up Zayne's girlfriend???

"She's your girl, Zayne." "She is not." "Yes she is, she's just testing to see how you'd react, dummy. Now go and actually ask her out."

Caleb (Gideon)

Before you start pranking him, you prayed for Gideon's safety.

"Caleb, can you set me up with-" "He's gay." "I haven't even said a name!" "Yeah, everybody around me is gay. I'm their ally." "Caleb!!!"

He'd frown and keep telling you why would you need anybody else when you can have HIM. He's the one who knows you the best! He knows how to make you smile! He's 100% your boyfriend material! 😤

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purplecelestial-buddy · 11 months ago

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Enough of a people pleaser that if someone asked me if I would love them as a worm I would say yes.

But also

So freaking tired that if anyone asked more than once I would point out that I doubt worms know who loves them so they shouldn't worry

#I know I'm harsh but oh god #you cannot actually come at me and ask “do you hate me?”#i don't know but asking “do you love me?” and asking “do you hate me?” are two very different things in my head #if anyone asked if they are loved I'll take it as fishing for compliments and I'll take the hook and explain that yes I do and why #on the other hand “do you hate me?” feels accusatory #why would I? do tou think I got time and energy to invest in people that I hate?#god should allow me to (metaphorically) hit my friends with a bat (like the “honk” dog meme)#because how are they getting this thoughts?!?!

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itzpookiepooh · 6 days ago

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Gimme Kiss

You kiss him and then wipe it off

Zayne was about to leave for work when he kissed your forehead and you wiped it off. He stood there in confusion. Why would you do that?

“Im leaving for work.” He says slowly, his eyes not leaving your figure. “Okay! Have a great day, love you.” You kiss his lips only to wipe it off again.

The stare he gave you could put you in the hospital. He kissed your forehead again to which you wiped it off in disgust. You wiped your hands on your pants after as well. He just stared at you blankly, he doesn’t have time for this nor does he enjoy this.

The room felt icy as you look at your husband whose evol is 2 seconds from taking you out. You jump at his icy stare before rushing over to him and peppering him in kisses. He sighs in content his eyes fluttering shut as he finally places a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Have a good day!” You smile nervously as you fix his tie.

That’s what he thought.

You kissed him softly and stepped back to wipe it off. He tilted his head in confusion. Why are you wiping away his kiss? Did his breath stink? Did he stink?

“Why are you doing that?” He asks genuinely. He breathes into his hand sniffing it. He just brushed his teeth what was the issue?

“Doing what?” You ask genuinely confused as you put hand sanitizer on. You went to walk away before you were pulled back by his evol. He’s immediately peppering you in kisses every time you wipe it off. You are basically being suffocated in wet kisses, you think you might even drown.

“If you wipe it off again I’ll do worse.” He threatens as he’s dipping you. You were surely getting a core workout in this position. Your whiny tone breaks through his muffled kisses, “It’s wet!”

You unconsciously wipe off the wet kisses making you freeze. Do you know what you got in return? He licked your whole cheek like a damn dog. You were so frozen in disgust you didn’t even notice he kissed your lips and left for work.

You were never doing that again.

You placed a kiss on his lips before his meeting. He smiled softly at you which was immediately wiped off his face when you did what you did. You wiped your lips harshly before turning to walk away. His evol engulfs you as he pulls you back to him. He kisses you passionately leaving you dizzy.

“Now, try wiping that off.” His rich laugh filling the hallway before he places on last kiss on the crown of your head.

You were so dazed that you could barely register what he said. You were stuck in the hallway wondering what went wrong with your prank.

You wiped off about 12 kisses at this point and if you thought that was stopping this bunny you were wrong. Every single one you wiped he replaced. Not an ounce of annoyance from his side. It was just this intense stare waiting for you to wipe it off again.

“Xavier please.” You begged sternly but he refused to stop if you were just going to cancel it out. You were more surprised at how relentless he was. Usually people left someone alone if the problem kept occurring but not Xavier.

“Then stop wiping it off.” He countered and in the end he won because he pinned you down so you wouldn’t wipe it off again. As revenge he drowned you in kisses.

He’s dramatic so when you did it the second time he assumed you hated him. He got on his hands and knees and gagged and dry heaved. You just stared at him with wide eyes. There was no way he was doing this right now.

“She hates me! She wants me to die!” He mumbled to himself making him look crazy.

What fixed it? Kissing him correctly only to end with him kissing you over 800 times. A bit of an exaggeration? Perhaps but your face felt like it was burning at this point.

“Rafayel, enough!” You yelled but that didn’t stop that fish from kissing you anywhere else.

You asked, I delivered 🤍

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biosblades · 1 year ago

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This is literally a crazy stretch bc even if the vending machines did charge… that’s literally the same situation as getting this medication from the pharmacy and it’s CERTAINLY less expensive than calling in paramedics. Like unless it was ridiculously price hiked, all this does is make the medication more readily accessible

Idk, “sorry I’m cynical 🙈🥰” is just not an impressive excuse to me for not reading beyond the headline, making a snap reactionary judgement, and then bashing what’s objectively a good thing on a public forum

‘We put lifesaving medication behind a physical paywall because capitalism and fuck you’

#especially bc everyone KNOWS the busybodies are gonna have something to say about this #is medicine for an already super stigmatized condition #why add to the negative clamors #with a complaint that has absolutely no basis #even if you’re allergic to reading the whole article nothing in the headline suggested the price would be any greater than any other source #I just hate the trend of commenting on something without even skimming the actual article #what happened to simply remaining quiet when you don’t know wtf you’re talking about #idk hating bc of an imaginary problem you assumed was present is just crazy #for an initiative that you know is already gonna have the white pta mf’s in a tizzy #so much reactionary behavior all based on assumptions and misinformation #like it literally would’ve taken 10 seconds to figure out if your gripe had any actual basis before posting #and now people will see that post and assume you actually looked into it and know what you’re talking about #and for what??#I hate privatized medicine as much as the next guy #but this feels more like fishing for likes with a trendy complaint than real criticism #bc again to genuinely criticize something you have to ensure you’re not fighting an invisible boogey man #fear mongering #misinformation #reading comprehension site slowly becoming the didn’t read it at all site

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spider-stark · 10 months ago

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LADY STRONG

Benjicot Blackwood x Velaryon/Strong!Reader

Summary - Stuck in the Riverland's on a marriage tour, you pretend to be Lady Strong when Benjicot Blackwood doesn't recognize you as the Princess of the Seven Kingdoms

Warnings - none except not edited!!

Word Count - 3.1k

!MINORS DNI!

// masterlist // send me your thoughts // comments & reblogs appreciated! //

As if the prospect of a marriage tour was not horrid enough, your first stop was proving to be positively dreadful.

You had imagined the lands surrounding the Trident to be beautiful. A lush, verdant landscape—filled with fragrant herbs and bright, blooming flowers, painting the Riverlands in rich, colorful hues. You pictured babbling streams and plush grass, stunning castles and, perhaps, some equally as stunning men.

What you hadn’t imagined, however, was the weather.

Even from within the confines of Riverrun—the ancestral castle of House Tully—you still feel the effects of the merciless heat beating down upon the sandstone walls.

Your handmaids had tried to dress you accordingly, stuffing you into your thinnest—and, consequently, your least regal—gown, in hopes that it might prevent sunstroke. Yet still, even as three of Lord Tully’s own servants try fanning you while you sulk in the dining hall, you feel as though every inch of your body is drenched in sticky sweat.

“This is miserable,” you groan to Ser Lorent, the Kingsguard who had been assigned to your tour. Flanking your right, you spare the knight a pitiful, sidelong glance. “I believe I would sooner die a spinster than be forced to live in this sweltering purgatory!”

The servants, haphazardly positioned around the table, remain utterly stone-faced, not letting on if they found your comment about their homelands to be humorous or offensive.

Ser Lorent merely laughs. “The Riverlands are known for their humid summers, princess.” With a wink, he adds, “If you ever bothered with your studies, you would know this.”

“I study!”

“With the blade, perhaps,” Ser Lorent muses, his teal eyes twinkling with lighthearted mockery. “But certainly not with books, princess.

Rolling your eyes, you slump further into your chair, your body practically melting into the upholstery. “Leave the geography lessons to Jace,” you tell him, waving an idle hand. “After all, he's the heir to the Iron Throne. I am merely the prized broodmare—” focusing on your plate, and the half-eaten lunch upon it, you try swallowing the bitter tang now filling your mouth—“a royal womb to be sold off to the highest bidder.”

And, at times, you aren’t even sure if that is considered an honest truth… You’ve certainly never felt royal.

Like your brothers, you were born extraordinarily plain-featured. With no silver hair or lilac eyes, you appear more like a common-born peasant than someone of prized Valyrian stock—and it didn’t help that, unlike your brothers, you had no dragon, either.

Ser Lorent watches as you absently push a piece of seared cod around your plate, sighing. “That isn’t true, my princess.” His words are tinged with sympathy. “You are being sold to no one. Your mother wishes for you to have a marriage born of love—not duty.”

“Ah, yes,” stabbing the fish with the prongs of your fork, you bring it to your lips, “which is why I’m being forced to spend my summer meeting with the haughty sons of fat country lords—for love.”

His tongue clicks with disapproval. “Your mother has given you a choice in selecting your own husband, princess; which is a luxury not granted to many women.”

Frowning, you pop the piece of fish into your mouth, turning his words over in your head.

Gods.

You hate it when he’s right.

“Fine,” you relent, still chewing. Turning sideways in your chair, you raise your fork to him in a mock threat, “But my earlier statement stands! If I must take a husband, then it certainly won’t be anyone from here—lest I become no more than a puddle of sweat.”

Ser Lorent cracks a smile at you. “Should you turn to a puddle, princess, then I vow to mop you from the floor.”

“How valiant of you, Ser Lorent,” you laugh. “I’m unsure of how I might ever repay you for such loyalty.”

“I’m not sure you have to worry about that, princess—I don’t believe that puddles are much concerned with matters of debt.”

Turning back to the table, another soft laugh spills from your lips. “I suppose you’re right, Ser.”

All too soon, however, your amusement begins to fade. A warm breeze blows in through the many open windows lining Riverrun’s dining hall, the stifling air only accentuating the stickiness of your skin.

Sucking in a deep, heavy breath, you ask, “How long do we have?”

Ser Lorent doesn’t ask for clarification, knowing almost at once what you were asking him. “We’re expected back in the Great Hall in a little under an hour, princess.”

You blow the breath out, groaning slightly.

An hour—that's all the time you had left before you would be forced back upon the dais, expected to once again smile and be cordial as men and boys from all across the Riverlands made their case for your hand.

How many of them could possibly be left? This morning alone you had met with dozens upon dozens of them, their voices all blurring into a monotonous hum as they spoke of the history of their Houses—if one can consider nonsensical legends from the ancient Age of Heroes as true history, that is.

Noticing the dreadful pall cast over you, Ser Lorent clamps a comforting hand on your shoulder. “How about a walk before we go back? It might help to clear your head,” he suggests. Then, with a wry grin, “Perhaps you might wish to think back on the men from this morning—see if any of them might make you change your tune about life in the Riverlands.”

You pin him with a playful scowl. “There’s not a man alive that could change that tune,” you vow. “But you’re right—a walk might be nice.”

Rising from your seat, the servants around you lower their fans, silently dismissing themselves.

“Will you be accepting my company on this walk?” Ser Lorent teases—though you know what he’s really asking is: will you be accepting my protection.

“After this morning, I believe I’ve had enough company for a lifetime.”

The knight’s brow draws tight, an apprehensive frown beginning to pull at the corners of his lips. You roll your eyes.

“Oh, don’t worry so much, Ser Lorent. It gives you wrinkles,” you tease. Adjusting the slit running along one side of your dress, you reveal the dagger holstered on your thigh. “I assure you that if any of these Riverlanders dare lay a hand on me, they’ll lose some fingers.”

Ser Lorent snorts, head shaking. “It’s not you I worry about, princess,” he jokingly admits. “Just stay close by, understand? Your mother will have my head if anything happens to you.”

“Yes, yes—understood,” you dramatically gripe, already walking past him to the exit.

“Oh, and princess?” He calls out just as the guards pull the doors open for you to leave. You glance over your shoulder at him, brows lifted. “At least try not to injure anyone.”

With one last roll of your eyes, bright with mischief, you shout on your way out, “No promises, Ser Lorent!”

Wandering through the outer yards of Riverrun, the blistering sun beating down upon your skin, you find yourself overwhelmed by a sudden ache in your chest.

You miss home. Desperately.

You miss Dragonstone’s near-constant cover of clouds, forever shielding you from the heat. You miss the cool breeze rolling in off the Blackwater, the air peppering your cheeks with salty kisses.

But even as you dream of a reprieve from the muggy Riverlands, you can’t help but miss your family—your brothers—most of all.

Perhaps it is that feeling that led you here, to the training yard, guided by the familiar lull of splintering wood and steel slicing through the air, the sound offering a much-needed remedy to the homesickness twisting in your gut.

Smaller than the one at Dragonstone, Riverrun’s yard was no more than a cramped stretch of dusty-dirt, lined with old training dummies and archery targets. Mostly encircled by the towering sun-bleached stones of the castles, only a small part of the yard remained open to the sprawling gardens beyond, sectioned off by ornate iron fencing.

Striding over the open gate, your attention falls upon the lone boy standing in the yard's center.

As the sunlight beats down overhead, long shadows dance around his feet as he glides through a set of movements—each step calculated, every strike deliberate.

You step closer, keeping your steps light as you approach. With his back turned to you, you watch as sweat drips down his neck, glistening. It soaks into his tunic, the thin black material clinging to his lean, muscled back.

He’s talented—you think, studying his form.

Talent is something you're familiar with—intimately. You were raised around warriors—trained by the Rogue Prince himself. Yet never before had you found yourself so utterly bewitched by a fighter.

He didn’t move like other boys.

He wasted no time on the flowery style displayed by so many summer children—the ones who thought of battle as a performance rather than a matter of life or death.

Instead, he moved with the lethal prowess of an apex predator—his blade cutting through the air with a controlled ferocity that, while lacking the flourish of other warriors, was undeniably impressive.

Dirt flies as he throws himself into another set of movements—a series of strikes and parries, executing with unbelievable precision. With every twist and pivot, muscles tense and shift beneath his tunic, his body as powerful a weapon as his sword.

He lunges forward—and wood cracks! as he slashes his blade along the belly of one of the dummies, a move that would have disemboweled a living opponent.

Cutting through the sudden stillness, you bring your hands up to your chest, filling the yard with a slow clap. Back still turned to you, the boy's spine goes ramrod straight at the unexpected sound.

“Impressive,” you muse, taking another step towards him. Mere feet remain between the two of you, now. “You move well—better than most, I’d say.”

The boy spins around to face you, his once elegant movements now blundering as he nearly trips over his own feet. Biting your tongue, you try to hold in a laugh.

Big, storm-cloud eyes meet your gaze, pinning you in place as he blinks, visibly thrown-off by your presence. “Sorry-” he stammers, out of breath. “I didn’t think anyone else would be coming out here-”

You lift a hand, cutting him off with a smile. “Oh, no—don’t apologize on my account! I enjoyed the show,” you tell him. “Seems that you have a real talent for swordplay.”

His cheeks flush, his lightly sun-kissed skin turning a stark crimson. “Thanks.” His laugh is a nervous, awkward thing—endearing, too. He sticks a hand out towards you, the other still limply holding his sword. “Benjicot. Blackwood,” he introduces himself, fumbling over his words, “but you can call me Ben or Benji—or anything, really.”

You take his hand, biting your lip to mask your amusement. “Pleasure to meet you, Benji.”

A beat of silence passes before confusion finally tugs at his features, his hand falling back to his side. “Uhm—” another sweet, awkward laugh— “and you are…?”

Realization dawns on you, leaving your brows to shoot up to your hairline.

Seven Hells. He doesn't know, does he?

A sudden speechlessness grabs hold of your tongue.

You suppose you shouldn’t be surprised—after all, you aren't what many expected of a Targaryen princess.

Plain-featured and dressed in thin, common clothes, you imagine you likely appear no different than the servants surrounding you at lunch, fanning you to keep the heat from going to your head.

Even so, it's rare that you met someone who doesn't know who you are. And, selfishly, after a morning filled with insincere compliments from haughty Lord’s, you like the idea of remaining nameless—titleless—for the first time in your life.

“Wow—sorry—that was thoughtless of me, wasn’t it?” Tapping a finger to your temple, you laugh. “I’m Mylissa,” you lie, stealing the name of one of your handmaidens. “Mylissa Strong.”

“Strong?” He echoes, brow furrowing. “Strange—you don’t sound like you’re from the Riverlands. Your accent is—”

“Southern?”

Benji nods.

“Well, I’ve spent the better part of my life in the Crownlands, so I suppose I’ve picked up their accent,” you explain. “I’m here with the princess, actually—as her lady-in-waiting.”

The mention of the princess—you—turns his skin a pasty white.

Keeping a tight leash on your curiosity, you try not to sound too intrigued when you ask, “And what about you? Raventree Hall is a decent ride from here, is it not?” On horseback, the ancestral seat of House Blackwood was two days away from Riverrun, if not three. “Are you here to meet with the princess?”

Benji shifts his weight, leaning from one foot to the other. “Supposed to,” he begins, his words tumbling out, “but I don’t know—I’m not so sure that I’ll go through with it.”

Your expression falters, disappointment washing over you like a cold wave, combatting the intolerable warmth of the sun.

“Why not?”

He shrugs—a timid, shy gesture that feels so unlike the predator you had snuck up on. “There are over a hundred men in there,” he waves an arm to the castle, to the Great Hall within, “all waiting for an opportunity to impress the princess—meanwhile, I can hardly get out a single sentence without choking on my own spit.”

Your laughter bubbles up involuntarily, a few giggles spilling past your lips. The Blackwood boy shoots you a playful glare from beneath long, dark lashes.

“Well,” you begin, absentmindedly toeing the dirt between you, “perhaps the princess might find it endearing, don’t you think?”

Benji scoffs. “Doubtful. I mean, think about it!—she’s a princess!”

Your eyes widen, glimmering with mock-offense. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

Once again, that crimson tinge returns to his skin, crawling up his neck, this time.

“I meant no offense,” he defends himself, mistaking your expression for one of a Lady meaning to defend her princess. “But what could I possibly offer a princess?”

You tilt your head, pretending to think on his words. “Well, the Blackwoods do have a history of being valiant warriors, do they not? And you seem to be quite skilled yourself,” you say, daring to let your stare drift down to his arms, the short sleeves of his tunic revealing well-muscled, sweat-slick biceps.

He snorts. “I’m willing to guess that the princess would likely care naught for my skill with a sword.”

“Then you would guess wrong,” you retort, a faint, teasing smile on your lips. “Many say that the princess herself is quite skilled with a blade—I imagine she would quite like a boy that’s capable of challenging her.”

Benji’s eyes darken a shade, an unreadable expression crossing his features. “And what about you, Mylissa?”

The false name catches you off-guard, but you do your best to hide it.

“What of me?”

A bit nervous, he asks, “Would you like a boy that can challenge you?”

Your heart stutters in your chest—skipping several beats as his stare lowers, dipping past your waist and falling upon your thigh. On the dagger sheathed there, no doubt.

Heat begins to crawl up your neck, hotter even than the sun's blistering rays. “Oh—” You stutter, words lost upon you.

It’s true that you were used to the attention of men. After all, your morning has been filled with it, and soon enough the rest of your day will be, too.

But this was different.

Benji wasn’t giving you attention because you’re a princess, a mere royal womb to strengthen his House’s bloodline. Rather, he was doing it simply because he wanted to—a feeling that was utterly foreign to you.

Wiping a clammy hand on his sweaty tunic, Benji misreads your silence, taking a half-step back. “Apologies, my Lady—that was too forward and-”

You don’t let him finish his rambling. Taking a step forward, you close the gap he sought to create between you. “I’ll make you a deal.”

“A deal?”

You nod. “As you know, the princess will be in the Great Hall for the rest of the evening, holding court with the other Lord’s who’ve come for her hand. I'd like for you to meet with her.”

Benji cocks his head, confusion crinkling the corners of his eyes. “I truly mean no disrespect to your princess, my Lady, but I was asking if you might be interested in–”

“I know what you’re asking, Benji.” You lift one shoulder in a casual shrug. “And after you meet with the princess, if you still wish to inquire about my hand,” you say, placing a palm to your chest, “then I will happily hear you out.”

In the distance, a bell sounds out—signaling the time, you realize.

“If you’ll excuse me,” you start, already taking a few small half-steps backwards. “I’m expected inside.”

Letting his sword drop to the ground, Benji lunges forward to catch your wrist. “So you agree to meet with me after court, then?”

“If you’re still interested,” you muse, a tinge of anxiety laced through your tone, “then yes.”

The corners of his lips twitch into a bashful smile. “I give you my word that–”

You planned to interrupt him. To tell him not to make oaths he wasn’t certain he could keep, knowing that he may very well change his mind about you once he realizes who you are—that you’re not technically a Strong. But, before you can, another voice intervenes.

“Princess!” Ser Lorent calls out, exasperated, as he walks through the gate. “We must hurry, princess,” he continues, pausing only to give a wary glance at Benji’s hands wrapped around your wrist. “We’re late.”

Your pulse begins to pound, a surge of adrenaline coursing through your veins at being exposed as a liar by Ser Lorent.

Benji’s face goes blank—then his eyes go wide, big as saucers as you snag your wrist from his grip.

“Princess...” He utters, voice laden with disbelief. “Princess?!”

You can hardly bring yourself to do anything other than grin stupidly at him, nearly stumbling over yourself as you back-up to where Ser Lorent is waiting impatiently.

“It was lovely meeting you, Benji!”

You hope he can hear just how genuine your words are.

“I’ll see you in the Great Hall,” you call out over your shoulder, sparing him one last glance as Ser Lorent guides you to the gate, watching as he blinks in astonishment, still processing the revelation.

Walking back towards the inner-castle, Ser Lorent glances down at you with a knowing look. “You seem giddy.” There’s a teasing glint to his words that makes you roll your eyes, cheeks flushing. “So,” he continues, his brisk pace never faltering, “does this mean that your statement from lunch no longer stands? That, perhaps, this sweltering purgatory may yet grow on you?”

You bite your cheek, a permanent grin still etched onto your face.

“Let’s just say that I’ve decided it’s best to keep my options open, Ser Lorent.”

a/n - you may ask yourself: lainie, why would you refer to him as mostly BEN in the last fic and BENJI in this one??

and the answer? I have not ONE clue. my brain is rotting and benji is cute.

anyways, hope you guys enjoy this one! feel like I got to explore more of his personality here. additionally, I need HBO to know that if this boy ends up not being benjicot blackwood then I'm gonna fucking riot

benjicot blackwood tag list - @a-song-for-ages @ghostinvenus

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