#just like how I call them shape shifted into Finn ‘Finn-poster’

[ki1ldeer]

I forget a lot that Emmeline can shape shift and they’re a menace about it and that’s like so fun I love shape shifters

[lallivaesterstroem]

Emil and Lalli. Stargazing. Emil tries to name all the constellations he knows. Lalli knows all of them, but listens to the Swede anyway.

ANON ILUSM FOR ASKING this is such a wonderfully sweet prompt i just had to take it the extra mile and it got away from me once again :’)) so this is waaaay too long for a ficlet LOL but i hope you enjoy it anyway!

EDIT: A BETTER VERSION OF THIS IS NOW UP ON AO3, GO GIVE IT SOME LOVE this will stay up for posterity tho<3

quick summary: Emil and Lalli meet up in a a dream. The night sky is too beautiful to ignore.

--

Lalli knew the colours spilling around him as well as he knew himself. He blinked once, twice, watched the familiar forest and lake take shape, molding slowly into a place he called his own. Then came the gentle noise of water, the rustling of branches and chirping of birds, and he could smell the pine surrounding him. He could sit here in silence, look into the water, wait for a sign and hopefully receive none. And so the mage sat up, arms resting on his knees and head hung low, listening to the sounds of forest, waiting for-

Someone else was here. Not a spirit, he could feel that much, a someone.

He stood up quickly, hoping to all the gods that it was neither braid guy nor Onni- he wanted nothing more than to be alone tonight- which only left the category of ‘things that want to kill him’ open. One hand reaching for his dagger, the other pushing his fur coat away, he spun around, looking for the source of the disturbance.

Emil was standing on the shore, glowing in the speckles of light passing through the branches, confused but smiling, and the moment he saw him, the ground opened up under them.

Once the dust had settled, he found himself on a grassy cliff with a steep slope, overlooking nothing but darkness, one of thousands around the world, yet somehow still familiar. Emil was a few feet away from him, looking around frantically. It dawned on Lalli that it was probably that hill they climbed in Reykjavik, that long day in the pouring rain, but he couldn’t think clearly enough to wonder why they ended up there, why it seemed to have been split in half, why it was the dead of night. The shock still hadn’t quite worn off. Emil had never appeared in his dream before, not like this, not in his dream. They’d always end up in a place like this, in-between together. Never in his space.

When he turned to Emil again, just to make sure they were both still in one piece, his friend was looking up for some reason.

“Your dream has a sky?” he said, and it sounded less like a question aimed at Lalli and more like thinking out loud, as if he were trying to get to the bottom of a problem. 

“Of course. Everything has a sky.”

“I guess I just never thought about it before,” Emil said, still craning his neck, still in that distracted tone, his eyes wide in a strange sort of wonder. Lalli didn’t get it, really. He could see the real light-speckled veil covering the Earth any time he wished, and there was nothing special about the one appearing in dreams. The stars, glittering gold forged by the sky-smith, were now a mere image in their minds, dream-approximation, not worth dwelling on this much.

Lalli looked into the distance instead, trying to make out the shapes- houses but no lights on, a village, indiscernible layout, shifting in the darkness. He couldn’t tell if it was the Icelandic village, or his own hometown, or something else entirely, perhaps a fragment of Emil’s memory. It was like the houses were in the bottom of a murky lake, roofs submerged, waves distorting everything, and by the time it reached his eyes they were unrecognisable. He didn’t dare to peer over the edge of the cliff, didn’t want to look straight down at whatever may be there. The wind whipped around him, against his face, and for a moment he felt completely alone.

A rustle coming from behind startled him out of his thoughts- Emil, sitting down on the grass, still looking up with that smile on his lips. He said something about knowing ‘a thing or two’ about the stars, pointed upwards at nothing in particular, and Lalli decided to join him. It seemed that there was nothing to look at beyond the dark plunge beneath the cliff, which he’d already scrutinised, and the stars in the sky. He sat next to Emil. He waited.

“See that one? That’s the big dog. Those three stars are the head, and then these are the tail,” Emil gestured, eyes fixed on the night sky.

Iso koira. The easiest to spot, with the brightest star at its head. Emil’s struggle to point it out was a little pathetic and a little adorable, depending on whether Lalli was looking at his fumbling outstretched hand missing the mark or his excited expression, squinting to see better. And then he turned to look at him and that excitement was gone, replaced by a frown.

“You can’t tell where I’m pointing at from there,” he said, fake-upset, “look here.”

Emil’s face was suddenly right next to his, an arm around his shoulder and the other still pointing at the sky, and Lalli froze. Perhaps it was the unexpected touch, the closeness, but something about it made him jump. To his credit, Emil noticed, letting go and moving away, an apology already on his lips. But before he could get to it Lalli inched closer, at his own pace, wanting to say that it’s okay, just let me, hoping his expression would do the trick instead. He just needed to ease into it, and soon enough they were close once again, so Lalli looked up, pointedly avoiding Emil’s gaze, in order to urge him to do the same. Back to the stars. 

“And the little dog- huh, shouldn’t it be somewhere around…”

Pieni koira, just a little off to the side, trailing behind Orion. Kaksoset, Härkä, Yksisarvinen. The stars were his constant companions, by his side every night when no one else was. Köli, Ajomies, Virta. His gaze swept across the sky. He knew them by heart.

Not that he’d say a word of it to Emil. It was much more amusing waiting for the realisation, that moment he stops talking and lets the cogs in his head turn: hey, what if that silly Finn who spends all night outside, where the stars are, maybe knows a couple things more about them…

But this was fine too. He didn’t have to think as long as he kept talking. Emil’s hair looked grey in the moonlight but with that same shine, messy from the wind, and Lalli couldn’t help but reach up and tuck a lock behind his ear, just so that it doesn’t bother him. No other reason. Emil turned to look at him for a moment, not enough to read his expression, and then quickly looked away.

“Orion is also, ah, somewhere,” his hand was now flitting between several constellations, none of them the one he was looking for. “This sky is weird. Did you ever notice that? That the dream sky is weird. But you probably already know, because you’re… you know. And I’m so new at this. Not at dreaming! Just, this whole...”

He decided to let Emil ramble nervously until he tired himself out, ending his rant with a frustrated little groan. It was strange that he couldn’t quite focus on the sound of his voice, how he could feel that lilt all Swedes had to their words but still understand him- another peculiarity of dreams he never really noticed until he and Emil became connected like this. Then they were quiet for a couple of heartbeats, taking in the view.

The corner of Lalli’s lips twitched into a smile, as close to softness as he could get. Emil was too busy staring up at the sky to notice. Lalli was too busy looking at him to care.

But something changed moments after. He could feel it in the air, creeping in slowly. Emil’s expression turned melancholy, resigned, and when he finally spoke, he echoed a statement he made a long time ago. This time, he said it with a smile, almost sad, mostly distracted, like he didn’t know the words would come out until he said them: “Makes me not want to wake up tomorrow.”

In the resulting silence, Lalli could hear something from the depths, from the village, and when he looked down, he saw a sliver of orange in the distance, like the stroke of a brush, a splatter. Fire. Emil’s fire. An uncomfortable feeling settled in his gut, a pain for someone else, something tugging at his heart.

“Why? You’re safe now. You have food and shelter,” he said instead, trying to keep him occupied. Steadying his voice took more effort than he expected, but he didn’t want Emil to notice anything was amiss. It was Lalli’s fault that his dreams were no longer silly meaningless thought-leftovers that played during the night. It was Lalli’s fault he was here in the first place.

“But I’m not… like this. With you,” Emil sounded distant, and he was looking away now, not at the stars and not towards Lalli, but at the ground next to him. Like he was trying to hide his face, but didn’t want to go too far, move too much. Like he was counting the blades of grass beneath them.

Lalli knew that he probably wasn’t talking about… whatever it was that they were. He was surely talking about the feeling of safety, the freedom of dreaming- the fact that they were in it together was simply a byproduct of an accident, his own mistake, surely not something Emil looked forward to, surely-

Lalli bit his tongue. He had to force himself to say it while he still could, before the connection that kept them here crumbled again. Before he had to deal with pouring his feelings into words, then forcing those words into the confines of a language he barely spoke. The wind whistled around them and he knew this was his last chance. He put his hand on top of Emil’s, caressed it with his thumb, not quite knowing what he was doing.

“You could be, if you want to.”

And then the world was plunged into darkness and he could feel reality looming in the edges of his consciousness. He’d deal with the consequences when he woke up.

[starwrite-er]

Poster Boy [Chapter 23] - Poe Dameron x Reader

A/N: oh, hey, look, it’s The Force Awakens. Also this chapter references chapter 4 if u need a memory refresher.

Tag List: @firefeatherx @plethora-of-things @britishteahater @umbrellabrass @purple-skeleton @winchesterandpie @the-creative-lie @i-alrightokaycool @definitely-nota-fangirl @purelittleblueberry @gemmielii

As the colony of Tuanal comes into sight, I feel my heart sink. The lack of movement as far as I can see is a horrific indicator of what occurred here.

I bring my X-Wing down, and climb out so very slowly, feeling sick at the sight before me; the X-Wing Poe took lies obliterated beside the corpses of every villager in the settlement. If everyone here is dead, the chance of finding Poe, BB-8, or even the map is slim.

I force myself to walk though, trying and failing to ignore the stench of burns and death emanating from both civilians and Stormtroopers. It’s clear that this is the First Order’s doing, but I can find no sign of Poe or BB-8.

“BB-09, where would you go if you survived an attack like this?” I ask. The droid beeps in response, rifling through its database in search of information on Jakku. After a minute I get an answer. “The Niima Outpost, hey?”

I tread carefully through the village, not sure of what I’m looking for. I make my way to the wreckage of the X-Wing Poe borrowed for the mission. He wasn’t amongst the bodies of the innocents in the centre of the colony, and after an inspection of the Starfighter, I find no sign that he was near when it was destroyed.

I feel guilty that, despite the many dead bodies scattered around, I’m hopeful of Poe’s survival.

“C’mon, ‘09. Let’s see if your hunch was right.” I return to my ship, having found nothing of use here. I feel bad, leaving the civilians like this, but I have no time to give them the ceremony they deserve.

I take to the air, BB-09 helping me locate the Hutt-founded settlement. If it really is Jakku’s most prominent point of interest, then I pray I have more luck there.

As I fly, my thoughts on the lacklustre planet are reinforced. There truly is nothing here but sand and scavengers. I dread to think how my life would have turned out if it was here I was born and raised.

Eventually, on the horizon I can see the Niima Outpost, but against the vast expanse of nothing it’s all too easy to spot the familiar shape of incoming TIE Fighters. They aren’t a sight I particularly want to see, but it’s a sight that lets me know I’m likely on the right track.

My X-Wing is over the settlement in seconds, arriving alongside the enemy ships. For a moment, I focus solely on engaging with the enemy, the S-Foils of my Starfighter locked in attack position. When I realise they’re shooting more at something on the ground than at me, I shift my attention downward. There, two people run from the First Order militia, with a particularly recognisable astromech rolling along just behind them.

Plumes of sand erupt into the air as the TIEs fire blindly. By my hand, a handful of the enemy ships explode in the air, but by now they’ve noticed who’s responsible and a few set their sights on me. I can’t hold them off for long by myself, and much to my inconvenience, I’m soon hit. It’s only at this point that I open my comms, hoping I’m able to send a message back to base. “This is Ivory Leader. We’ve located BB-8. I’m fine, but the First Order is looking for the droid too, and my X-Wing has been hit - this is likely going to be the last communication I’ll have with base until I get back,” The ship the three were headed towards is destroyed, and they turn to another ship. “BB-8 and the two civilians the droid is with look like they’re going to board a light freighter.”

I call out for BB-09 to drop out of the ship as the thrust engines fail. My astromech protests, but still ejects, hitting the sand and rolling towards BB-8. I follow suit, jumping from my X-Wing at a forgiving height mere moments before it crashes. From there, I sprint towards the old looking ship, kicking up sand in my wake.

Upon noticing me, BB-8 whirrs and chirps, bringing me to the attention of its new friends. “Yeah, it’s good to see you too, buddy, but we’re kind of in the middle of something right now!” I yell back to the orange-and-white droid.

The ramp into the freighter is already down, making our lives easier as we haul ourselves inside. “Gunner position is that way!” The girl points to a ladder, her pace not slowing for a moment, and the man she’s with takes off in that direction. I follow her to the cockpit, the two BB-units hot on our heels.

“You ever fly this thing?” The guy yells to us.

“No, this ship hasn’t flown in years!” The girl calls back.

“That’s always reassuring.” I say, my voice laced with sarcasm. The girl glares at me, clearly not understanding my presence. Rather than focusing on that, though, she starts flipping switches, mumbling encouragements to herself. I follow her actions.

The ship violently jerks up and to the side, dragging along the ground as we try to take to the air. After crashing through a a roughly built archway, we’re flying upwards.

“Wait, stay low, stay low!” The man shouts to us over the ship’s comms. “It confuses their tracking!”

“BB-8, ‘09, hold on!” I call back to the two droids, knowing the direction this is about to take.

“I’m going low!” The girl in the seat beside me warns, and the freighter suddenly plummets, swooping along the sandy terrain of the desert planet. The TIEs screech through the air, still hot on our tail. When they fire and our ship doesn’t return it, the Jakku girl is understandably frustrated, shouting to her friend over the comms. “What are you doing back there?”

“Are you ever going to fire back?�� I yell at him, flicking a switch to my side to activate the shields. “Light, have you ever even done this before?”

“Once!” Is his short reply, and I can’t help but groan, truly beginning to hate this clunky old freighter.

Finally, our ship begins to shoot at the oncoming TIE Fighters. The shots miss, but it’s a start at least.

“We need cover!” The man calls to us.

“We’re about to get some!” Responds my co-pilot, but I catch the look of doubt of her face as she mumbles to herself. “I hope.”

“We’ve made it this far, we can make it ‘til the end.” I tell her firmly. She glances at me and nods, the ship swerving around a towering sand dune and into a starship graveyard. Here lie the broken remains of one of the Empire’s last stands against the Rebellion.

The broken bodies of Star Destroyers litter the landscape, and though they do offer some protection, they prove to be equally as dangerous. The sides of the freighter scratch painfully against the old tech, the TIEs barely avoiding them. The man manages to shoot down one of our enemies, but the moment is cut short as we’re hit.

“Uh, the cannon’s stuck in forward position, I can’t move it. You gotta lose him.” He tells us over the comms.

“Light, I wish I was in my X-Wing.” I mutter to myself. I keep my eyes forward, but as we approach the particularly large ruins of an Empire ship, I exchange a look with the girl beside me as we wordlessly formulate a plan.

“Get ready!” She calls back as we swerve, changing course to fly inside the wreckage. Her friend’s questioning of her words goes unanswered.

“Are we really doing this?” The man shouts as the scenery goes dark.

“Sure, why not, right?” I reply, adrenaline pumping. “It’ll be fun!”

The passage is narrow, and balls of fire obstruct our view as shots from the TIE behind us destroy old parts. After flying in darkness, our path is blocked, and we turn sharply, narrowly escaping through a gaping hole in the side of the craft. Still, the enemy pursues us, but the Jakku girl pushes our ship to the max, taking us high into the sky before cutting the engines completely. My heart pounds as the freighter falls through the air, but as the ship tilts I realise her plan.

Behind us, the TIE is hit by blasts from our locked cannon. The girl reactivates the ship’s thrusters, causing us to narrowly miss the ground below. We set our sights for the sky as the man whoops, the girl and I laughing in victory.

As we exit the atmosphere of the planet Jakku, the astromechs beep to one another in conversation alongside the pair of humans that I’m accompanying. For a moment, I stay in my seat, taking a minute to breathe and process the situation.

I join the others in the corridor in time to hear the girl reassuring Poe’s droid. “You’re okay, he’s with the Resistance. He’s gonna get you home. We both will.”

Immediately I know this is lie, and I’m ok edge. Organa didn’t issue a rescue - I had to directly disobey her orders to come here. Still, the First Order was after this man, so he must have something to say.

“BB-8, buddy! I was so worried!” I coo, dropping to my knees as the astromech notices me and excitedly rolls into my open arms. My own droid beeps indignantly, feeling left out. “C’mon, ‘09, you’ve literally not left my sight. I knew you were fine.”

“You know each other?” The man asks me, and I stand up.

“I’m Commander Y/N Y/L/N of the Resistance,” I introduce myself, and I see him swallow thickly, averting his gaze. “I don’t know your names.”

“I’m Rey.”

“Finn.”

I nod, repeating their names to myself. “Finn, could I talk to you for a moment? Alone?” I request. He and Rey exchange a look, but agree nonetheless.

Rey leaves us, ducking into a nearby room out of politeness. I watch her for a moment before turning my attention back to the liar in front of me.

“Who are you really?” I question, my voice low. He hesitates, nervously looking away. “There was no rescue mission issued. I had to disobey direct orders from the General to come here. I know you’re lying, so who are you?”

He sighs in defeat, looking guilty as he answers my question. “My name’s FN-2187. I... I’m a - I was - a Stormtrooper.” Something about his face, his name, it’s familiar. I frown, trying to place it.

BB-09 beeps in alarm, and my eyes widen, my mouth falling open. “Oh my- oh my stars, I know you.”

“What?” Finn looks confused as I pull him into a brief hug.

“Do you remember when Captain Plasmium was found dead on one of the First Order bases?” I ask, pulling back, and he nods. “I took her armour. You were in the infirmary, getting a physical examination or something when I walked in. Light, you pretty much helped save my friend.”

“That- that was you?” Finn drops his gaze, processing the situation.

“Finn, how - why - are you here? And where did you get that jacket?” I ask, already putting together the pieces.

“I was at Tuanal when they killed everyone. I- I couldn’t do it, though,” He looks distraught. “I knew the prisoner they took was a pilot-“

“Poe.” I murmur.

“I helped him escape in one of the TIEs, but we crashed on Jakku,” The pity in Finn’s eyes tells me what I don’t want to know. “He- he didn’t make it. I’m sorry.”

For a moment, I’m still, replaying the Finn’s words over and over. My throat is tight as I slide down the wall, almost numb. Even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to choke back the tears.

“Are you done- oh.” Rey catches sight of me. I pay her no mind, my thoughts consumed with regret.

The two astromechs roll over to me, their whirrs imitating the sound of crying. BB-8 seems to be hit the hardest, as ‘09 tries to comfort me. While Finn quietly explains the situation to Rey, BB-8 gives me their side of the story, and my droid displays a holovid.

Tears blur my vision, spilling over as I watch the recording. Of course BB-09 was in the room when it happened, but I assumed they were off and charging. The holovid of Poe and I dance together breaks me down. Rey and Finn give me a look of pity and sorrow as I sob, the holo eventually flickering out, ending in our kiss.

Poe’s dead, and our last two weeks together were spent uncomfortably avoiding each other. How could I have been so stupid as to have just let him go?

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E2 (Showmance)

Mama Mia, here I go again!

Please don’t tell me this GROWN MAN had his license plate changed to “GLEE” to reflect the high school club he runs. PLEASE.

Rachel brings a whole-ass SUITCASE to school? I know she’s extra by nature but PLEASE.

Finn just Doesn’t Know What Things Are! I adore him. 

You’re really just going to walk by Kurt hanging out by the dumpster with a bunch of dudes who harass him in the hallways? AGAIN? Nice one.

“One day, you will all work for me” I doubt these guys are going to be working up the ranks at Vogue.com, Kurt, but I rate the energy.

Emma you’re better than this dude. Run. Run as fast as your hollow bird pelvis will let you.

SANTANA’S FIRST LINE!!! You’re right, they should get a room. 

For all the creepy obsessing Will’s done so far over the glee kids, you’d think HE would be the one to notice how they don’t have enough members to qualify

Sue points out a bunch of special ed classes, and yet I’m pretty sure she says McKinley has no real support available for special needs students later on? They must be whack classes

These people are really acting like all Will does is coach the glee kids even though he’s literally a Spanish teacher

Early Quinn may be incredibly mean, but like, I’d say thanks if she killed me 

Rachel really has a whole spare outfit ready to change in to post-slushying? I guess that makes sense if it happens that regularly

Cory Monteith REALLY couldn’t dance and we love him for it

Disco didn’t suck until Mr Schue got his grubby little mitts on it

I almost forgot about Kurt’s selection of hats. What is this one? A fez? It’s fez shaped

Why is Kurt so sure they’ll throw fruit specifically? Is that McKinley asshole custom?

Terri’s actress, once again nailing the act of making me want to throttle her

Kendra also nails that.

A “used” house oh my god

THIS ARGUMENT BETWEEN KURT AND MERCEDES IS GOLDEN. “You need to call me before you dress yourself. You loo like a technicolor zebra.” They REALLY match. God I hope they ad-libbed that.

It’s the first rap of the show, folks. 

I hate Mr Schue doing Kanye, I really do, but imagine Finn doing it instead like he planned. Better? Worse? I can’t even tell anymore. 

The LOOK Kurt gives Mercedes when she starts belting out the Jamie Foxx part... Don’t be jealous hon you’ll get your bars. For real though his face is hilarious, he looks like he’s worried she’s about to burst a blood vessel with all that TALENT

Sign #5 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Get your hands OFF of Kurt Will Schuester he doesn’t want to dance! Tbh though I love season 1 Kurt during the group numbers because he just always looks SO done.

Mr Schue’s also wearing a T-shirt that says “DITCH PLANS” on it. Please DITCH the state instead?

KEVIN MCHALE IS THE UNSUNG VOCAL HERO OF THIS WHOLE SHOW AND I WILL NEVER LET ANYBODY FORGET IT

Watching them all sing in a goofy, candid way is honestly healing. 

KURT’S DOING THE SINGLE LADIES RING-HAND MOVE IN THE BACKGROUND THIS BOY REALLY LOVES HIS BEY. Me too Kurt me too

They straight up gave Rachel no gag reflex and had her guidance counsellor make a joke about it? Ok RIB

“Have you ever liked somebody so much you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?” Same girl, same

AAAaaaAAALllLlLLLLLlll BYYYYY MYYY SEEEEeeeEEEEEEEELFFFF.........bY mYsEeElF i’M bY mYsElF

Ok I like Emma but she sometimes kinda sucks at her job

“He doesn’t even notice me” Rachel, hon, he’s probably already warned his neighbours about you

“Gay parents encourage rebellion” PICK A SIDE, SUE! I really can’t keep up with the convenient flip-flopping of her bigotry. And with Jean, you’d think she’d go off on Rachel for calling people “chromosonally-challenged”

Finn, of course you know who Justin Timberlake is... That’s Mr Schue’s hotter, less evil twin!

I love how they have to label Robin Thicke on the poster - you know, because of how awful and irrelevant he was even then?

Half the janitors are just gone. How has this school not been closed down already?

Sign #6 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Mr Schue: I want to build a club where people can express themselves musically Literally every single member: Hello Mr Schue, I’m here to express how much I dislike the music you’re making us perform. Mr Schue: Never talk to me or my fake-unborn-son ever again

Humble, modest Finn going d’aww shucks and telling Rachel to stop complimenting him is adorable. I love him!!!

How could I forget the celibacy club... I almost feel bad for Quinn, he’ like the only person there who genuinely cares about being celibate. I don’t buy that anybody’s convinced that Puck’s a virgin...

The fact that Finn thought joining the celibacy club would get him laid is just... Yeah. It suits him. 

Jacob Ben Israel you will die by my hand you slimy, unforgivable bastard. NOBODY IS OBLIGATED TO GET YOUR DINGER WET, SCUMBAG! Short skirts are not an entitlement!!!

I still don’t know what Puck means when he says “Those skirts are crunchy toast” and I don’t think I want to know.

OH GOD T H E M A I L M A N . . .

Finn Hudson has canonically nearly killed a man and I don’t think anybody talks about that enough.

I beg all of you to look up this scene and listen to the way Finn goes “Ahahaha... Driving’s fun...” Like it just brings me so much joy. What a doofus. 

Carole’s first instinct is to yell “OH MY GOD YOU’VE KILLED HIM WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!” Calm down queen he’s gon be fine

Quinn really hates contraception, huh!

I know your wife is a shit, Mr Schue, but it’s fucking reprehensible to lead on another woman. It’s clearly intentional at this point I’m sorry, you don’t put chalk dust on somebody’s nose like that platonically!

Rachel: We’re going to give them what they want! Kurt: Blood? God I love him

I do love the running gag of Figgins wildly overestimating the excitement for the assemblies tbh

This school doesn’t have working toilets but, hey, on the bright side, all you have to do to get expelled is shit yourself!

“Yay, Glee! Glee kids hooray!” Emma just warms my cockles

Will referring to the glee club and saying “We’re on our way back” like no, old man, you’re not getting clout for this. Then again, neither are any of the students until they’ve graduated...

AHH, PUSH IT! KURT’S HIPS. LOOK AT THEM GO. HE’S SO INTO IT.

I WANT THE FACE SUE MAKES WHEN SHE SEES FIGGINS TAPPING HIS FOOT TATTOOED ON MY HEART

Finn’s face as he gets ready to start his part... He’s so nervous. Bless him...

THE PERFECT TIMING OF KURT SLAPPING HIS ASS. And then the zoom on that fucking fanny pack going crazy this scene is so fucking iconic. That fanny pack has been burned into my retinas forever. 

AND THE WAY HE WOBBLES HIS HEAD AROUND AS HE STEPS BACK. KURT! FUCKING! HUMMEL!

Oh god, now he’s crawling across the floor to Mercedes. I can’t tear my eyes away he’s GOING for it!

They really had Finn and Rachel go that hard? Honestly up until that point, the routine isn’t too overtly sexual, but now I understand why they get in trouble 

I DON’T GET HOW THEY’RE STILL LOOKED DOWN ON AFTER THIS PERFORMANCE! Nearly everybody applauds! RIB just had to have that cake and eat it too. 

I demand Will’s resignation too, Sue

Ah, the approved songs list... That they will proceed to ignore for the rest of the season post the Unholy Trinity’s audition

Sign #7 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He has NO PLACE to be mad at Rachel here. You didn’t listen to any of your students, you wouldn’t compromise, and now they’re going on a sex riot. You did this!

Ken Tanaka you cannot undermine a woman’s self esteem and convince her to settle for you as a second choice, and then complain about feeling like a second choice... WHY do they ever act like he’s a victim here?!

Finn saw that whole-ass picnic set up and didn’t think to ask about it? King. I love one (1) himbo. The way he says “You’re cool, Rachel” just fucks me up every time...

She pours him the TINIEST drink in the world? Girl the cups not even a tenth full and he’s a big boy...

The real OTP is Finn x Airplane Cups

Why does Rachel lie down for the kiss... Is it solely so Finn can have his little overflow at the mayo factory or???

THE MAILMAN SCENE HAPPENS EVERY TIME HE KA-BLAMOS OH MY GOD HOW DID I FORGET...

Look, Rachel, I get that it sucks that he ran away, but he literally has a girlfriend? You couldn’t have expected things to go that well...

THE UNHOLY TRINITY FORMS... I’M QUAKING

Throwback to how blatantly obvious it was that Santana and Quinn weren’t singing at all. How did they think they’d get away with that...

Brittany’s original sideswept bangs? Ugh. Giving me LIFE.

Dianna’s voice turned me gay. I’m genuinely convinced my sexuality is Quinn Fabray’s fault and I’m not even mad?

By this point we know next to nothing about Santana’s character, but the second Sue suggests sabotage, her face fucking lights up. She’s living for it already 10/10

Will you can’t make Emma tag along to all your janitorial shifts I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re married. And a jackass. 

I know Rachel went behind his back, but there’s no real reason to give Quinn the Don’t Stop Believing solo? She’s talented and incredible and I love her, sure, but it doesn’t suit her voice at all my guy, if you didn’t have biscuits for ears you’d know that...

Is this the only instance where Will takes actual responsibility for the glee club’s actions rather than blaming it all on the kids? Wow... A rare gem.

The way he says “I should never have pushed disco so hard...” All serious like... Get a fucking grip

I can believe that Rachel’s neighbours would sue her for singing all the god damn time

Rachel singing “Take A Bow” is more fitting than I realised. At first I was like, “that’s dumb, Finn doesn’t really realise what he did anyway” but it fits her character to use a song and spin it so she feels empowered by it in the end. Or at least, tries to feel that way.

So there’s episode 2! What a hot mess. We love our hot mess.