#Rimster

[yaminerua]

Literally a whole year after I did that one page for last year’s smegtober I finally did the other two pages I meant to add back then lmao

to quote Holly: I may not be fast but I get there in the end

lmao

[miniherodesktales]

A one-shot about Lister's first night on the Dwarf

Sleep:

When Lister had been assigned to the Dwarf he had been rough sleeping in a storage container while scraping a living as a cab driver - frankly, anything was a step up from that. The Dwarf may have had a reputation for being a creaky old, comfortless rust bucket but it was safer than being on the street.

And, yet, he hadn't anticipated how "small" space could feel once you were stuck onboard a ship that wasn't scheduled to dock on Titan for another six months. There was no getting off the ride until the ride had come to a complete stop.

Somewhere in the decks below them, an alarm blared. Lister flinched, just as he had done at the buzzing sound of a scutter rolling past the bunk room door, the clang of a door shutting, the beep beep of the elevator at the end of the corridor...He clutched at his duvet a little tighter. This was madness. Pure madness, what he was thinking? How was anyone supposed to sleep like this? He rolled over, shutting his eyes tightly. Even the darkness felt suffocating.

Six months, six months, just another six months to go before he would see a blue sky again, feel a fresh breeze, only six little months...

Lister couldn't stand it any longer. He lent out of his bunk and stared up at the one above his.

'Rimmer,' he hissed. 'You awake?'

There was no reply from his bunkmate and supervisor, but Lister could hear the gentle rhythm of his breathing.

Lister swallowed, hesitating. He was sure that Rimmer was mad on some level: his eyes often had a manic look and he was always bouncing his right leg up and down. He was petty, small minded and forever starting arguments wherever he went, but right now he was only company that Lister had.

So....'Rimmer! Rimmer, wake up!'

Rimmer bolted upright.

'Wha - argh!' He had just slammed his head on the ceiling. 'Lights, lights!' He slipped down to the floor and began inspecting his forehead in the mirror for signs of injury. 'What is it, Lister?' he snapped.

'I can't sleep,' Lister said quietly.

Rimmer turned on him.

'What? You woke me up at 3am and gave me a concussion just to tell me that you can't sleep? Is this a joke?'

'No,' Lister gulped. 'It's this place...it's so cold in here...and we're stuck in space where no one can you scream and everything is grey and cramped and noisy and smells and the walls are closing in! The walls, Rimmer!'

Rimmer looked alarmed. He held up his hands hopelessly and then began waving them at Lister, like he could waft away Lister's panic.

'It's OK,' he said. 'Just -just look out the window!'

Lister shut his eyes again and shook his head.

'No good,' he muttered. 'I just want out this spaceship...'

Rimmer folded his arms, looking incredulously. 'You signed up to the Space Corp...and you can't cope with being on a spaceship? You may have a made a poor career move, Lister.'

'I didn't know I was claustrophobic.'

'Really? I'd have thought agoraphobic the more accurate label. After all we have plenty of room in here and oxygen. You, my friend, are scared of being in a situation you can't escape.'

'Whatever!' Lister shouted. 'Just help me take my mind off things - please!'

'How?'

'I don't know...talk to me, play a game...how about the Shopping List game?'

Rimmer sat on the bunk next to him, his face screwed up in undisguised disgust and leg bouncing nervously.

Eventually his face cleared and he said 'Just take it easy. No one sleeps on their first night. I didn't.' It was the first kind thing he had ever said to Lister. 'Just think of it being like...like it's your first night at boarding school.'

'I didn't go to boarding school.'

'Oh. How old are you anyway?'

'22. I've got nowhere else better to be.'

Lister felt Rimmer staring at him, but avoided looking into those mad, brown eyes.

'Oh,' Rimmer said quietly.

'Oh' just about summed up Lister's life up.

'Why is it so cold?' he demanded, pulling the standard issue JMC duvet around his shoulders a little more tightly.

Rimmer shrugged. 'Whacked out old heating system competing with the whacked out cooling system. No one wants the engines to overheat so it's better to keep them cool than to worry about our comfort. It's always a bit nippy in here. But, not to worry, Lister, you're talking to a boarding school veteran and a gentlemen who was sent out into the world aged 16. Rule 1: always know where your blanket and ear plugs are.'

'Shouldn't that be two rules?

'Shut up.'

Rimmer bounded across the room to Lister's locker and began rifling through it.

'What are you looking for?'

'Your winter blanket. Ear plugs.'

'I don't have those things, man.'

Rimmer turned to give him an appalled look.

'This -' he pointed back at the locker. 'This is all you have? It's just rags.'

'That and my guitar,' Lister muttered as he flopped back on his mattress.

'Oh,' said Rimmer again. He hesitated before going to his own well-stocked locker. He pulled out an old, tatty brown blanket with Titan Hospital printed on it. 'Here,' he said nobly, throwing it at Lister. 'I won't want it back.'

'Oh, cheers. man. Why'd you have it?'

Rimmer suddenly looked embarrassed. He shrugged, hugging his arms around his body tightly.

'C'mon!' Lister pleaded. 'Look at me, I'm the on the edge! Talk to me!'

Rimmer shrugged.

'Someone was nice to me,' he said weakly, his face red.

'What? What you talking about?

'I was like you when I first joined,' Rimmer said thickly. 'Well, actually, I was bit younger than 16...I had permission to sign up early...so I did...'

Lister sat up. 'What ,your parents let you join the space corp while you were underage?'

'Hmmm, anyway, I was on my own, didn't have much with me...I fell asleep on the Starbug at the end of a long shift and the woman next to me was the first aider. She'd been a nurse back home. Anyway, she looked out for me, wrapped me in that blanket until we got back to the Solar Flare. Made sure I had everything I needed to survive my first tour. She was the motherly type, you know? In her 40s, had teenage kids somewhere. Always fussed over the newbies, especially me. I hated her.'

'Hated her? But she was nice to you!'

'I know. I never said thank you.'

Rimmer was staring blankly into the past.

He suddenly twitched. 'I'm going back to bed,' he said thickly. 'Take the top bunk.'

'What?'

'I don't want to bang my head again.'

'You said the bottom bunk was too near the toilet.'

'It is, it's disgusting. Wake me up again and I'll throw you out the airlock.'

Lister mocked saluted him. 'Yes, Mr Rimmer, sir.'

He tried to settle, but he couldn't get back to sleep even with the blanket. It did help that the top bunk was a little roomier.

[smirk-mode]

Lister: Did Rimmer just tell me he loved me? Kryten: Yes sir, he did. Lister: And did I just do finger guns back? Kryten: Yes sir, you did.

[red-wop]

Not sure if anyone's made a post like this before but Red dwarf really is the show of all time

It's got a genderswap episode, its got a bodyswap episode, it's got multiple clone episodes, plenty of alternate universes and a simply iconic musical number despite the fact that its not a musical show by any means

theres a trans computer, two counts of mpreg, insane levels of homosexual behavior and a robot who goes through a midlife crisis

it's got the most repressed man in existence who also happens to be dead, literally the most optimistic last human alive (seriously, how is he so positive all the time) and a dude with frankly the best wardrobe ever who also happens to be literally a cat

Theres dodgy BBC budget practical effects (which I love), copious moments which are insane in and out of context, sets that are held together with blu tac and a cult following that could probably once destroy anything

It's got that season which not many people like to talk about (cough 8, cough), one of the creators left halfway through and they've all been doing It for over 35 years and are still going somehow

God I love it so much, it really is the show of all time

[o-bromio]

Red Dwarf as text posts part 2

(part 1) (part 3) (part 4)

[castingrunes]

something something red string of fate something something

(bonus lineart version under the cut)

[pavlien]

[therealsullivan3000]

OHHH YEAHHH RED DWARF TEXTPOST TIME :D

[deepseastranger]

[thatsnoneofurdamnbiz]

some little drawings I've done over the past couple of weeks-

[sophiemcswag]

don’t mind me yet again crying over the audiobook 💔

(posted this on tiktok but forgot to put it here soz gang)

[miniherodesktales]

I just assume Rimmer's parents gave him a lump of coal for every Christmas.

I also assume that Lister put his knitting/crocheting talents to good use by knitting Rimmer a jumper for Christmas one year.

From this I make the assumption that the gift sent Rimmer into emotional overload. He hated the jumper but he was so touched to have received a gift at all that it made him cry...which made him angry....which made him freeze up as his Light Bee struggled to process all the conflicting emotions...and after that a massive migraine.

Hence why every Christmas he takes some down time alone when the others watch A Wonderful Life together and why he writes overly formal thank you letters to Lister detailing precisely why he both loves and hates him.

Forget Schrodinger's Cat, Lister's Hand Knitted Christmas jumper may or may not be in the box at the back of Rimmer's locker. It's both loved and loathed.

[zamppera]

Enjoy this pic of Craig and Chris hugging while Danny is filming it XD

[lizardthelizard]

forever obsessed with their later series dynamic

[timelydoseoflister]

Anyways, Rimster