#Rimmer becoming a hologram after the leak makes the AU a bit odd bc why would it still work on him in that form

[yaminerua]

I once read a soulmate AU for a different fandom where the way the connection eventually manifested was that whatever someone wrote or drew on their own skin, it would transfer to their soulmate’s. And I was thinking of the applications of it for Rimster given that time Rimmer resorted to scrawling revision notes on his arms and legs.

Like, Lister’s probably used to occasionally seeing some exam notes and other things pop up on his skin from time to time given how often Rimmer takes exams but usually it’s been within relatively normal boundaries. He’s not gonna judge. He doesn’t know much about the person on the other end of their inked connection but he hopes with all the tests they seem to take that they’re doing well. Sometimes he’ll even scrawl a little ‘good luck!’ on himself as a kind of encouragement to them.

The very first time something like this happens, Rimmer freaks out. Because oh holy smeg he has a soulmate! There’s someone out there for him! A real honest to god person!! Meant for him!! All the years of his brothers teasing him, acting like the universe would just skip bothering to assign him one, are washed away to be replaced by an initially heart-bursting glow of elation, but it’s followed swiftly by a deep-seated dread. Because oh god anything he writes on himself will be seen by this other person. What if he smegs the whole thing up!? He’s already caught their attention with his revision scrawlings, he’s going to have to tone it down to something that won’t be off-putting…

Fast forward and Lister has joined the Red Dwarf crew and it’s like any other day. He’s left his annoying bunkmate to stew in pre-exam nerves and he’s out and about on the ship, maybe trying to flirt with some of the lady officers when suddenly he notices his hand rapidly becoming covered in words, scrawled in a panicked frenzy, first across his palm, then the back of his hand and down onto the forearm. And yeah, sure, this has happened before, it’s no big deal. Except this is the most chaotic it’s ever been, especially since it’s now trailing right up his arm and if he doesn’t get out of public view people are going to notice.

So he runs back to the bunk room, hoping to grab a jacket or something to cover it up but he freezes as soon as he’s half-pulled it on because he spots Rimmer. Smeghead Supreme, Arnold Judas Rimmer, sitting with a textbook on his lap and his shirt sleeve rolled up, utterly engrossed in his pre-exam stress-induced frenzy of copying as much of the text from the book onto his own skin as possible.

The realisation hits like a truck and Lister cannot believe it. He refuses to. It’s gotta be a coincidence. Rimmer wouldn’t be the only person in the universe cramming for an exam, surely! Just because he is doesn’t mean what he’s writing is the same as what’s still being hurriedly scrawled up the inside of his left arm. The universe wouldn’t play that cruel a trick on him! Surely!

Rimmer hasn’t even noticed him come in and he’s muttering out loud each word as he copies it out from the book and Lister can only watch in horror as he sees the exact same words blossom across his own skin and oh this CANNOT be happening!!

So now you have Lister knowing that the universe has somehow, bizarrely, chosen to pair him up with Rimmer, and Rimmer blissfully unaware of the fact that the soulmate he’s yearned for his whole life is the lazy gimboid who just interrupted his revision by tossing an unwashed shirt at his head.