#why social be so draining

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[enden-k]

loses energy and joy to draw → recovers for days → slowly finds energy and joy in drawing again → has to go to work → loses energy and joy to draw → recovers for d 🔁

[sporeclan]

Hey y'all, I promise I'm still working on the next moon! I've just been super busy lately so it's taking longer than usual :')

[triglycercule]

ok ok you dont need to threaten me here's some art ☹️☹️☹️

appreciate now while you have it because doodles are rare coming from me (only tri-yearly. i cannot doodle for the life of me its hard 🙁)

[scary-monsters]

i wanna quit my job so bad :((( im so tired of living like a husk. can’t even call it ‘living’ tbh. ive never been so burnt out and miserable in my life. im only happy when im creating something and i rarely get to do that anymore. im trapped in a cycle that i genuinely don’t know how to get out of and im scared i never will bc i’ve spent over a year of feeling like this atp.

[autisticlee]

i'm so tired. year after year i've posted on facebook/Instagram where I have irl people, begging for someone to come hang out and do fun summer activities i've wanted to do since I was a kid but never got to do. year after year i'm ignored and don't get to do anything with anyone. this summer i've been trying they bumble friends app. but it's the same there. I have to try to initiate things and don't get much response and don't know how to plan anything. if I do plan, i'm afraid i'll waste the little time and energy I have on nothing. I doubt strangers will agree to meet up when I can't even figure out how to get to know them properly....

"ask people people directly instead of making a broad post" i've been told. i've tried that too, over and over. it always ends in rejection and excuses. i'll ask, they'll say they can't because they're busy. so I "put the ball in their court" as they say, and ask them if we can plan another time. more excuses or getting ignored. tell them to let me know as soon as they know. but if I don't ask them again, they will never speak to me again. they never let me know. they forget i exist, or simply avoid me on purpose. they do things with all their real friends instead, because they can always make time for them, even after I was told they're busy this weekend with work, I find out they went out with friends all weekend and didn't actually have work or plans at all before that. if I ask too many times, they eventually ghost me and don't even give excuses anymore. they don't even have the kindness to tell me they don't want to see me so I can stop wasting my precious time and energy on them.

"people like to be asked directly because it means you want to meet them specifically and they feel special, so theyre more likely to accept" or whatever, I don't remember the exact words I was told, it was something like that. but I can get that. that's why I will try a few times before giving up. that's why I wait endlessly year after year for someone to reach out to me first for once to do things or even just chat. it's always expected that I always reach out first, ask first, plan everything. i'm not good at that. is that why I always fail at it? the rejection affects me more than for others. trying to plan things is exhausting and overwhelming. especially when I plan a while thing and get canceled on or rejected, time after time. yet I still try and keep waiting, wasting my time and feeling more alone.

why do I have to always be the one to reach out? why can't I expect someone to one day respond to my broad posts? why do I have to ask directly every time and do the socially draining song and dance just to be met with failure? they're so quick to push me away. I don't think asking directly does anything at all to benefit me or them. I don't think they actually care or need or want my attention, because they all have their people. me asking directly doesn't make them feel special at all.

"it's a two-way street/you don't have to do everything/find people who will put in effort too" i'm told these things. it sounds good in theory. but I can't control what other people do or think or feel, so it isn't helpful. go tell that to the difficult people I know and keep meeting. tell them how to communicate properly, because i'm sure if I give them a lecture on proper communication and how to treat me better, they will block me immediately. people have a bad habit of refusing to listen to me no matter how hard I try to communicate with them.

"as people directly" feels more like a lie I was told. a thing told to me to say i must not be trying hard enough and that's why I fail. a lie to remind me that i'm socially unacceptable and do everything wrong. they don't need me to ask directly. they aren't going to accept anyway. but what about me? what if i'm the one who wants to feel special that I was chosen by someone directly over others, that they thought if me, wanted to give their precious time to me? instead of being their last choice, hoping they accept because they have no one else, because all their real friends and favorite people are busy but they need socializing. the reality is, i'm usually not even a choice at all. I've seen their posts where they're bored or want to do a thing but don't ask me like I asked them to. they get responses from their real friends and set plans and don't have space left for me. I want to feel the thing i'm told other people are supposed to feel when I ask directly. they don't seem to feel that at all because it's me and i'm not people they like. I can't ask too much or ask to join in. desperate people are never wanted. maybe I still look too desperate once or twice a year.

it sure would be nice to be liked. to be on someone's mind when they want to invite people. to get invitations to things, to be included in plans, to get people to accept my invites. to have someone to actually want you around and ask you suddenly without warning, making the plans, without you having to do anything but show up and join them. instead of being forced to spend my life alone, I want to feel what it's like to actually be wanted....

[fallenoutoflove]

It’s hella wild to me that some people don’t understand a person being socially drained.

[tyrramint]

Hello, all!! I know I haven’t been as active over the past bit, but I just wanted to pop back in to let you guys know that I’ve decided to go on an indefinite hiatus again (nothing happened and I’m okay, I just know that I need a break for right now for reasons that essentially boil down to attending to my mental health and self improvement lol :) It could be for a few months, it might be much shorter than that, it’ll just kind of depend on how I’m feeling. I’m already excited to see all of you guys’ lovely posts and creations when I get back, and I’m wishing you all the best!! <3

See you in a few!! :)

[augustinewrites]

i am so sorry for being so behind on asks 😭 i am gonna try to get through them this week as best i can over the next few days

i appreciate every ask i get, whether it’s a little blurb or questions about the fushigojos or a kind comment! if you haven’t been told today, please remember that you are so so loved and appreciated!

[cconfusedkat]

I woke up 30 mins ago i am Not ready to socialize even if its just for 15 mins... Eegdudogordygorfg

[delicatetaysversion]

i have done everything to make myself as tired as possible so i can sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow but im wide awake😭

[orcelito]

The good news: I will have Chinese food tomorrow

The bad news: I have to see my mom as part of it :[

[calico-kiwi]

gave my number out to someone (god i wish i’d come up with a good reason to say no) and reeeaaaaaalllllllyyy wish i hadn’t but wouldn’t dare make the social faux pas of ghosting them because that’s mean and also i see him almost every day of the week

[causenessus]

Omg i live in nyc!

I hope you have a grand time, and from a local; dont be afraid to venture out into the other boroughs. Brooklyn is wonderful!

THAT'S SO COOL!! anon i'm ngl ur a soldier bc maybe i'm just not built for new york bc i could not survive walking around so many people i get so scared of everyone but it is such a cool city at the same time thank u so much for ur advice!! i want to say i went to brooklyn today and it was a lot more peaceful <3 but i was vv out of it at the same time 😭

[sunkingwrites]

Aie aie aiieee

[seilon]

so I’ve never worked in food service or hospitality (technically? not sure what my last job counts as but functionally it was more like security than anything) does anyone have any tips or anything for being a restaraunt host/server (in a hotel but that’s not that important here)