#why not smile

[girlstressed]

can’t stop smiling in inappropriate situations

[rickollie]

Reflecting on My Radiation Therapy Journey

Repost from January 2024 Hopefully you've read my last 5 blogs on radiation therapy (if not they're at rickollie.com) Here's my post therapy follow-up with oncology #cancer #cancersurvivor #helpingothers #oneyearanniversary #caringissharing #loveyourself

Post Therapy Follow-up January 11, 2024      Below is a reenactment of me ringing the bell after my fifth radiation therapy treatment, right before Christmas. The nurse asked me to ring it after that last dose. At that moment, it hadn’t dawned on me how important of a tradition this is. Now I know. 11:00 AM      Arrived at the hospital early as appointment wasn’t until noon. Last time I…

[chloesimaginationthings]

Glamrock Freddy's life is so hard in FNAF...

(Based off @/sweepswoop’s comic)

[reineydraws]

this is a scene from opla s2, black leg gazpacho told me himself!!!

src by @op-trash-blog-of-hell

[pissfartboy]

Ist es over für mich?

[p4nishers]

ok so this is diabolical

jayce's memory reality

[datcravat]

Ace Attorney Investigations Collection X Among Us Collaboration promotional artwork by Datcravat (me haha)

[demaparbat-hp]

She will (and he'll let her)

[hinamie]

big fan of panels where they look like they wld beat me up

[zillychu]

human form reveal! he wears his hair in a variety of styles, which include: whatever Sam or Tuck want to do that day (if left alone he will simply do nothing and get it caught in everything)

[lizzybeeee]

When you spend 20 years attempting to bring down the child slavery, murdering, human trafficking exploitation ring that stole your childhood, murdered your friends, and killed countless innocents only to have them rebrand as 'Noble Freedom Fighters™' off-screen.

[heph]

Before -> After Wilson calling him a "Limping Twerp"

[rickollie]

A 'Million Dollar Baby' Story with Song Lyrics

A 'Million Dollar Baby' Story with Song Lyrics #storytime #songs #lyrics #music #NeilDiamond #CyndiLauper #Cher #MarvinGaye #TammiTerrell #RichardMarx #TommyRichman #Whodini #EltonJohn #JamesTaylor #writerslife #heatwave #CancerSurvivor #HeartDDisease

I use them ‘Time after Time’ We all have our take on our favorites, and non-favorites, when it comes to songs but how much stock do you put into the lyrics? If you’re following me on Instagram, you’ll notice I share ‘a lot’ of stories and posts with music. I believe my followers find them more interesting with songs attached and I do go lyric hunting before doing so. Neil Diamond As to never…

[bangboa]

INSERT COIN 🪙

[bixels]

Happy post-relationship Sunset.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.