#why must you be a dumbass

[mocha-gladiator]

smh

[spamlets]

“you do things to me.”

TR: I hate you.

DF: I know.

TR: I want you dead.

DF: I know.

TR: One day, I’ll be the cause of your collapse.

DF: I know.

TR: I hate you, I’ll kill you, I’ll sabotage everything you stand for—

DF: I know.

DF: I love you.

TR: …

TR: I know.

[reinabeestudio]

Tfw the wind blows your hat away AGAIN and you gotta go find it in the middle of a blizzard atop a mountain by yourself

[ceasarslegion]

The leftism leaving peoples bodies when you tell them that literal terrorist organizations arent the good guys just because theyre against a bad guy

[daybreakrising]

@resolutepath: you are horribly old - fashioned ,  aren’t you ? [ childe to vautrin ]

There is a brief flash of indignation upon the captain's face, as though he couldn't quite believe what he'd heard from the other's lips. He draws up into himself, back stiff and straight like the soldier he was trained to be, and the beginnings of a scowl settle upon his features for a second before they then relax and soften into something more akin to... resignation.

Because yes, if he thinks about it, he is old-fashioned. How could he not be? He is a man displaced in time, suddenly and unexpectedly brought forth into a world four hundred years on from the one he remembers. He is still adjusting to the changes that have come about within those centuries - current fashions; tools, gadgets and mechanisms invented after his time; even the food has moved on from what he recalls.

And, not least of all, the behaviour, the language. People are so... informal, these days. There is something so casual about the way they interact with each other, and it is beyond anything he knows how to deal with. So... yes, he probably comes across as rather stiff and proper, he knows there is an agonising awkwardness to the way he engages with others beyond his rather small social circle.

But he didn't have to point it out like that.

"I like to think of it as gentlemanly." He remarks in response, head ducking just enough to partially hide behind the long fringe of his hair. To say he is embarrassed would be... well, accurate, definitely. He suspects he will never be able to catch up to the world around him, too rooted in the society and culture he was born and raised in, and he can live with that. But... can Tartaglia? Is it too embarrassing, too awkward, for him to be in the company of someone so... old-fashioned.

If a dark cloud could gather above his head, it would, but instead the suggestion of one merely lingers within his eyes. Tartaglia is not the sort of person he would have imagined feeling so drawn to, all things considered, but he has allowed himself to be pulled along with the current, and now that he has been carried so far downstream he's not sure he can make it back.

It is becoming a habit of his, it seems - discovering the depths of his feelings for someone right at the moment he risks losing them. "I'm... I'm sorry." Oh, how pathetic you truly are, Vautrin. "I am afraid that is... just who I am. I understand if that's too much."

[pastriibunz]

we do NOT like Kai’s bio parents in this household

so much so they don’t even GET designs thats how much we don’t like them

[special thanks to @local-soda-can for helping write this :3]

[jaggedwolf]

okay so I've been binging CSI: Vegas, because I used to watch a ton of CSI as a kid, and it's alright background television but I keep thinking of it as worse NCIS: Hawai'i. I swear I'm not just saying this because NCIS has Lucy/Whistler. Like,

both shows are 2021 spinoffs of long-running CBS procedurals

whose original shows had lily-white main casts but are now clearly trying to be more diverse

boss lady is a woman of color everyone respects and thinks is a badass, she's divorced with at least one kid

there's an asian woman who is the friendly, spunky one, relatively newer while still being on the A-team

more senior white dude agent who is tight with boss lady

unfortunately, csi is a sequel, and is weighed down by its legacy characters (who I mostly like! Grissom was a childhood fave, and I like listening to Sara's accent), and has 10-12 episode seasons which is a hard spot for a procedural. insufficient to care about the newbie's personal drama while dealing with OGs' as well.

....also no Kai with good shirts and T-shirts. No one on NCIS: Vegas has good fashion. No one.

[handcat]

back to the dating app 🚶

[jeans-marrow]

10:35pm. I'm going to die.

[masquenoire]

Icons Only - Roman can't find his fancy fountain pen and Marg's just no thoughts, starts lifting up heavier furniture with one hand that usually takes two men-

Send "Icons only" and something for my muse to react toAnd I will show my muse's reaction using only icons (1-5) and no text

[hauntingblue]

They don't dare hurt nassau's babygirl jack rackham

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Magnus helping his ‘friend’ Alec get ready for college graduation 😬

The link is broken :((((

[ozzgin]

I'm playing Crime Scene Cleaner and all that floor scrubbing got me thinking... Content: gender neutral reader, morally grey reader, organized crime, violence, murder

Yandere!Crime Boss who needs someone to clean up his frequent messes, and you happen to be in desperate need of money. He will reward your hard work handsomely; all he demands in return is loyalty. You quickly learn what it means to stray from his orders, carrying body after body, and mopping never-ending pools of blood.

Well now, you're not half bad, are you? He didn't think you had it in you. A regular, law-fearing citizen, now disposing of leftover bullets and hiding condemning evidence from the cops.

"What am I supposed to do with all these drugs and stacks of bills?" you ask over the burner phone, staring at the lavish table you'd stumbled upon during your latest cleaning service.

"Consider it your tip", he responds with a chuckle, somewhat taken aback by your honesty.

What a ridiculous twist. He finds himself trusting you more than his own men. You always do your job flawlessly, no questions asked, and for whatever reason you never fail to provide a full report of your findings. He couldn't care less if you left with a suitcase full of cash. He doesn't need the leftover scraps from some dealer who tried to turn on him. Bold of you to assume he even noticed anything of value in the first place. He merely drove over, pulled the trigger, and returned to his usual business.

"Did you bring enough body bags-" he begins, but his voice is cut short.

This must be the first time he's actually seen you in person. You're no longer a string of sentences over the phone. He certainly didn’t expect you to be this cute.

"Uh huh, it's all here", you state casually, holding a bucket of water. You gaze at the gory scene and whistle. "It's going to be a long night", you add.

"Do you have anything to do afterwards?", he asks with an unfamiliar hesitancy, swiftly recovering himself. "Actually, it doesn't matter. Finish here, and I'll pick you up once you're done."

"What? Am I in trouble?" you ask, eyes widening in fear.

"Dumbass! I'm inviting you out. It's my treat", he huffs with indignation.

What an absurd implication. Why would he have any reason to threaten you? Surely you must know by now that as long as you behave, you've nothing to worry about.

You won't regret your obedience. He'll make sure of it.

[Part 2] | [More yandere stories]

[autolenaphilia]

God, Matt Mullenweg is a dumbass. He could just have let his staff ban predstrogen, ignore her harassment and kept quiet, and he would have gotten away with it. She is a trans woman and people literally get away with murdering us, and the majority of the people who care are fellow trans women. Don't get me wrong, he will likely still get away with it, but he made this a bigger problem for him than it would have been otherwise.

Like this is more evidence that rich people are not smarter, they are often quite dumb. They don't work harder, and have quite easy jobs. Matt at this point has one of the easiest jobs in history, just let the money from wordpress being 40% of the internet roll into his bank account and relax. And he still managed to fuck that up.

That's because he took the quite minor controversy over Predstrogen being repeatedly banned personally for some reason. I'm not sure why, probably he thought his site being accused of transmisogynic moderation practices was a blow to his self-image as a cool tolerant dude.

And then he proved the critics point by repeatedly misgendering her, and singling her out by him, the ceo of tumblr, personally justifying her being banned. And then arguing about it with randos in replies and even dms. Like he points out himself that "We generally do not comment on individual cases." That's generally a good policy for a ceo of a social media site to have, Matt, don't ever make an exception to it, no matter how upset you are about "misinformation" that you are a transmisogynist.

Like his company's PR team must have been literally asleep or off the clock, or he didn't consult with them beforehand, because if they were in any way competent they would have told him what a bad idea this was.

[cathnospam]

Thinking about doing one of those 21 sex questions for couples with canon!Katsuki Bakugo aka your boyfriend.

Black!Reader, Virginity Loss Mentioned, Canon!Bakugo, Mentions of Sex, Slightly Smutty, Bantering

He thinks it’s stupid at first. Not wanting to engage in such a dumb activity, “For fucking what? I already know everything about your body.”

Bakugo was always the type to tell you no, as he was doing it, but this suggestion did take a bit of convincing seeing as he was never the type to be very vocal about the intimate moments with you both.

“C’mon…” You whine holding his strong bicep he had curled in with the other. You almost get distracted by his strength and began lifting your legs to swing on him as if you were a monkey.

“ALRIGHT!” He shrugs you off, sucking his teeth seeing how excited you were to finally wear him down. “What are the questions, dumbass.”

You both lean on the headboard of your dorm bed and scroll through the several ads and comments to find the section of questions.

“Okay, first question; are you and your partner sexually active—“

“Obviously.”

“‘Suki…”

“What?! It’s a dumbass question.”

You roll your eyes and scoff at your pouting boyfriend still with his arms crossed and eye’ing you down and landing his eyes back to the screen.

“Does your partner know how to satisfy you?”

“Well yes, I believe you do.”

Bakugo blows out his nose and looks away, not wanting to answer you almost took offense and your face must have shown it, because he gestures his hand out to you, “Of course you do, dumbass why do you think we do it a lot.”

“A lot is an understatement.”

“What?! Not even you idiot!”

“When’s the last time we had sex, ‘Suki.”

“…”

“Hellooooo.”

“Am I answering your questions or the fucking websites.”

“Question 4: How often do you and your partner have sex.”

“DON’T SKIP 3–“

“QUESTION 4–“

“THIS FUCKING AFTERNOON WE DID SO WHAT?”….”You were practically begging for my dick.”

“I wasn’t the one humping your ass when I got out the shower—“

“SHUT UP. And I wasn’t humping you I’m not a fucking dog.”

“Grinding whatever, your dick almost slipped inside from what you was doing!”

“AND?!”

“We have had sex about 4 times this week. It’s only Tuesday.”

Bakugo shifts around, cheeks warming up, he can’t help it. Honestly, it shocked him how much he enjoyed sex with you, you took each other virginity and through out the time you both were just having casual sex it was a lot of learning involved and it became addictive to him. It started off as him just wanting to learn to be better, but now the improvement is what also motivates him.

The way you scratch his back, the way you cream on his dick, your soft plushy body against his, the faces you make are all because of him. You subconsciously stroke his ego when you do that.

You became his best worst distraction. The main reason it became embarrassing for him is because you brought it out. He loves and hates you sometimes for it.

“Then we’ll cool down. I told you to always tell me no if you don’t want to.” He deadpans trying to ignore how shy I’m his body language is becoming.

“Who said I wanted that? I never told you no for a reason. Blondie.”

“Don’t call me that.”

You giggle, looking back at the dimly lit screen to scroll for more questions, “What’s something or somethingS your partner does during or after sex you can’t get enough of.”

You wait, turning your head at your Blondie, seeing as he is looking at your first to respond, “Ladies first.”

“You—ugh fine.” You sit up from your bent over position and Katsuki’s eyes couldn’t tear from yours. In all honesty he was curious to know too. “I love those…rare moments when you’re directly in my ear and you moan my name, you don’t talk often during, but it’s …hot or whatever.”

He huffs out a chuckle looking away for a moment, he figured from the way you clench down everytime he does.

“Anything else?”

You pause, poking your tongue through your cheek. “Yeah. When you hold my hand when you go down on me, you always act like I would hate your sweat on your hands when I really love it.”

“Because you’re gross.”

“Oh shut up!”

“….what else.”

His voice grew soft. You didn’t want to tease him about it, but you also loved when he became attentive to what you said, you knew by the twinkle in his eye he wants to know more, mainly because he definitely will be doing all those things you love even more now.

“I love when you slap my ass. It hurts in a good way.”

“I do too. Next time I might land an explosion on it—“

“You bet not, you damn pervert.”

“Shut up, what else.”

“…um….it’s embarrassing.”

“Just fucking tell me it’s just us.”

“….When you clean me up after, y’know either with a towel or in the bath. And sometimes in the bath it lead to you to …”

“To…?”

“Finger me.”

You notice the curl in his lip, it’s kinda hot to him how you’re admitting all of this. He wants to pry more, but from your embarrassment he will spare you…for now.

“Well, I guess I like how you get so clingy when you’re cumming. It’s hot. You act like a fucking koala and you just won’t let go of me.”

“Just Like…?”

“Tch.”

You teased him, you knew that word love is still hard for him to say, and you both knew what he meant, but it was worth a try to get him to say it.

“I ….enjoy when you demand what you want. Like the other day when you told me to lay back so you can ride my thigh.”

“….” You couldn’t say much but smile and feel shy. Honestly it was something you were terrified to do because who on earth tells Katsuki what to do?

“Good. Glad y’liked it.”

“Don’t make it a regular occurrence though you not in charge here.”

“Shut up!”

“Also when you kiss me all over after cumming. You’re such a damn sap after getting your brains fucked out it’s kinda hot.”

“Y’know….”

“What it’s true, dumbass.”

“Anything else.” You sang, seeing his flinch at you coming closer to his face he groans, “That’s all you can’t get enough of?”

“Tch…I ain’t telling you all of ‘em.”

“It would take all night.”

Bakugo prayed you wouldn’t hear that last part, but you did. Knowing he would probably walk out the room, so you don’t tease him, “One more. Just one more.”

For the first time in a while you seen conflict in his eyes, also similar to when you first asked him if he was ready to have sex with you.

The silence was loud, not awkward but it was enough to make you want to move on until he spoke—-

“The way you trust me.”

“…”

“You let me inside you, touch you, and all that mushy shit we have read in those books and knowing you let me is fucking…hot or whatever.”

“….”

“I say bend over you do it, I make you say my name and you do it, I say on your knees you do it….you just….trust that I’m ganna take care of you. Like you depend on me.”

You still didn’t have much to say, you realized being dependent on Katsuki was something he always took pride in. He may “complain”, but deep down he loves knowing he is the only one that sees you at your most vulnerable.

Bakugo hates the silence, throwing up all of that love knowing damn well he struggles to even say the word, he groans uncomfortably, “Fucking say something—“

You lean over to him, lips crashing gently with his, you taste the mintyness of his breath as he slides his tongue inside your mouth, a natural reflex he has a habit of doing whenever you two kiss.

“Of course I trust you. You’re Katsuki.”

His eyes widen for a second before pulling away, “The hell thats supposed to mean.” He says light heartily .

“‘Means you’re worth trusting….I hope you trust me too.”

You idiot. If only you knew he trusts his life with you.

You stretch back on the headboard and exhale and ease the tension, “Been knowing you and ‘Zuzu since elementary of course I grew to trust you.”

Bakugo groans at the mention of Deku and that damn nickname. “Whatever.” He blushes. “What are the other questions.”

“Oh so noooowwww you wanna know—-“

“WHAT ARE THEY?!”

[yanderenightmare]

♡ TW: stalking, yandere, anxiety, paranoia, isolation tactics

♡ GN reader

You’re anxious. You probably shouldn’t be, and you tell yourself that. You’re being silly. Utterly silly. It’s most likely just coincidences—a string of oddities, enough to freak you out. And you’ve always been too easily spooked.

You just happen to have the same situation and routine, is all. So what? You live in the same building, both of you grab coffee at the same cafe on your way to college, where you both happen to go, both of you get off at the same time despite having different classes, both of you go grocery shopping every Monday before coming home, and both of you do laundry down in the basement every Sunday before bed.

It’s not such an original schedule, you tell yourself. Jeez, he's not stalking you! No. It’s natural to buy everything at the start of the week and even more standard to do laundry at the end of it. It’s normal! Totally normal!

You’re just imagining the rest. The way he looks at you. You’re just freaking out because it’s your first time living alone, out in the big world, all on your own. He’s probably in the same shoes as you. New city, tiny apartment, big campus, long lectures, broke shit. 

Yes! That’s why he offered to do laundry together. One washer, one coin, one dose of detergent—that’s two for the price of one and half the price for both of you. Of course! That must have been it—and not any of the creepy things you’ve suspected. Obviously, he isn’t asking to do laundry together to steal your underwear like some freak—what are you even thinking!?

You’re such a bad person. It’s not like he’s done anything directly off-putting. Asking you over for dinner is a nice thing, after all. Again, it saves money and keeps you both company. It’s lonely living alone, after all. It’s not like you think it’s swell spending every evening with your nose in your textbook, just waiting for the school to plan a social gathering or something so that you can make some friends. 

You’re such a dumbass. Wanting to make friends, yet shunning the one friendly guy in your building just because he’s been a little too forward. It’s not as if he’s asked you out or anything! He’s just being nice! You’re the one being weird! Thinking weird things—condemning him of doing weird crimes he hasn’t even done!

“Hey, neighbor,” he says. Right on time, just like always. Doing his laundry at the same exact moment as you.

“Oh–hey,” you greet back.

It’s not weird, you have to remind yourself. You’re here on time, aren’t you? How come you’re allowed to be consecutive, but it’s suddenly weird when he is? How does that make sense? It doesn’t. You’re being paranoid.

Oh, but then he picks the empty washer right next to you, even though there are plenty of others to go around. No one else does their laundry at this hour.

He’s being friendly, you tell yourself. Neighbourly. It would be awkward if he chose a washer at the other end of the room, wouldn’t it? Yes. Yes, that would be awkward.

“D’you do anything fun this weekend?” he asks as he empties his basin into the tub, pouring a cub of powdered detergent over it—the same type you use.

Leaning against your machine, you watch him from out of the corner of your eye, trying to silence your inner thoughts—at least enough to not let any of your unfounded suspiciousness leak into your voice. “Mh-no, not really. I just studied. What about you?”

He turns the machine on, smiling lazily while saying, “Nah…” then turns around, mirroring your leaning stance, standing shoulder to shoulder. “Though I heard one of the frathouses had a party…”

He tilts his head down, looking at you—friendly-faced, asking, “You didn’t go?”

You try to stop yourself, but you blanche despite the effort. Head hot, you fold your arms over your chest, hugging yourself a little.

There was a party? When? This weekend? How come… nobody told you?

You swallow, unable to look back at him—suddenly feeling a little bit sick. 

“Uhm… no,” you say. “I didn’t feel up to it...”

His eyes slim at your obvious lie, but you don’t see it—now too wrapped up in your own embarrassment to pay attention.

His smile curls. You’re an open book if there ever was one.

But you don’t have to feel embarrassed. Of course, you didn’t go to the party. You didn’t even know there was one. And how could you? When he broke into your locker and took the invitation—just as he’s done with all the other party fliers every single week. 

“Not your thing?” he says, trying to hold back his glee.

You still don’t look at him—too chagrined—looking like you want to dig a hole and bury yourself in it. “I guess so…”

Oh, he could just lick that expression right off your cute little face.

“Not mine either,” he chuckles, rummaging through the bag at his hip, pulling out a book, and flashing the cover to you with a grin. “I’m more of a book club type of guy.”

You blink. Reading the title with big round eyes.

“Have you joined one yet?”

You look at him then, shaking your head, “Oh, no—uhm, I couldn’t decide…”

He hands you the book. You receive it in both hands. Your fingers brushing each other.

“You should join us then,” he offers. “You’re gonna get burned out if all you read is textbooks, y'know?”

He watches your eyes widen—looking like a peasant, beholding him as a saint who’s just offered you shelter from the storm.

“Thank you...”

♡ BNHA – Deku, Shinso ♡ JJK – Geto, Gojo, Megumi, Yuuta ♡ HQ – Sugawara, Kuro ♡ CSM – Aki, Yoshida ♡ AOT – Armin ♡ DS – Tomioka, Tanjiro, Zenitsu ♡ HxH – Kurapika, Leorio ♡ WB – Suo, Togame

♡ FEM x M INSERT masterlist ♡ GN x M INSERT masterlist