#why does it make me feel embarrassed
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captainhysunstuff · 1 year ago
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19 more images below the cut (WARNING: Some PG-13 saucy shenanigans ahead)
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Part three of their date: an unconventional visit to a nearby alley so Light can clear his head and try to get to the point of the outing. The events lead him to becoming confident enough to move onto the next stage...
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moeblob · 3 months ago
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Despite charisma being a pretty important stat for paladins, Paul has no charisma in the base plot. So I decided it would be really funny to have him have super low charisma in game, too.
So the whole "roll a save" in town is because Karen and Paul want to visit a tavern for info and Chris thinks it would only be fair to bully Pauladin with an NPC version of his hot bartender depending on the save.
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britt-kageryuu · 2 months ago
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So I was writing something out, and wanted to try out something I've read before, but never wrote myself. Slight content warning, just letting you know.
So let me know if I should change anything!!
The reason I'm putting the 'keep reading' is I kinda don't want you spoiled. I think.
Unless you came from the link, and it's gone.
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A stream started out of nowhere.
But what was on screen was just Leo's Shell facing the camera. And while he was mostly still, he would shift a bit, or move forward and back. He was kinda shaking aswell. His arms aren't in frame for some reason.
He apparently accidentally started a stream by sitting and leaning back on the desk. Probably accidentally hit a key or button that started the stream. Though the audio isn't connected so whatever might be happening is not very clear when the only thing you can see is a turtle shell with 3 blue circle/square rings.
The first number of veiwers are because they had their alerts go off that the VTurtles! started a stream. They're all very confused, and some wished that there was audio, if only so that there might be some context of what's going on. And the stream had already been going for a few minutes.
Then Leo seems to slip downward suddenly, but an arm with a white hand, covered in a blue shirt, wraps around the lower back area of Leo's shell, stopping him from falling to the floor. The owner of the arm lifts Leo up a bit, back onto the desk, and now his tail is visible to the camera.
After a minute Leo is moved away from the camera, and shown to be being lifted into the arms of a rabbit wearing blue samurai style clothes, and ears tied with a blue cloth.
From this new visual, we see that is seems Leo has hurt his leg, and the rabbit was putting a splint on it. Judging by the slightly awkward way Leo's model has his leg sticking out.
And the studio is decorated a bit differently than when the guys streamed themselves putting up Halloween decor.
They both turn their heads toward something or someone off camera, then toward the camera, both with a bit of a blush. The rabbit quickly leaves while carrying Leo.
Donnie walks into veiw, and turns on the mic.
"Awkward Cough. Hello Balemates. Please excuse this sudden stream. I hadn't realized that there was a hot key for starting a stream. Awkward Laugh. Now before anyone jumps to any conclusions. Blue was showing his boyfriend what changes we made to the studio, and tripped on something in the room." Donnie explains quickly and of course awkwardly, "I don't know if this will be turned into a VOD, but again Sorry for the sudden unintentional stream. Good Night!"
The stream ends as abruptly as it started. And the audience was still not sure if they want to believe what Dee said, or just twist it into something else.
A number of peoples accounts got banned for inappropriate memes, up until it got too inconvenient to even ban anyone, because some fans for some reason are taking ban time as a bragging right.
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Masterpost
If you thought this was going a certain way, then well that was my intention. It's kinda terrible, but I have never really written something like this before.
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phagodyke · 27 days ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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toddtakefive · 6 months ago
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btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage
#and him trying to stop neil from asking if todd not reading at the meetings is okay isn’t him wanting not to go#its him not wanting neil to ask because (as someone with social anxiety) it’s EMBARRASSING ASF for someone to ask for things on your behalf#literally just think about it as the meme of ‘when i tell my friend im hungry and he tells his mom that *i* want food instead of both of us’#and the whole ‘neil not knowing how to take no for an answer’ thing…… dont get me fucking started#the kid who’s had to take no for an answer his whole life? the kid whose first proper scene IS him taking no for an answer? are you serious?#being encouraging and accommodating and (admittedly) a little pushy when he’s got his mind set on something—#—is NAWT the same as not being able to take no for an answer or bulldozing through conversations with people#he and todd DO listen to each other in those conversations theyre just on opposing sides—#—because their understandings of the world don’t fully align at that point in time/the movie#which is totally fucking normal?????? because later on they DO properly align?????????#i feel so crazy about this every time i see someone say todd didn’t want to go the dead poets meetings because it’s so obvious he DID#he was just scared#and you know what maybe it IS a little forceful#but given how dedicated todd is to shutting off and hating and isolating himself he NEEDS a little forceful to be broken through to#if no one ever pushed me to do things when i was scared (as irritated as it can make me) i’d never do SHIT dude#and obviously todd is the same way because he ALL BUT OUTRIGHT SAYS AS MUCH#‘i appreciate this concern but i’m not like you’ IS about neil’s voice and opinions mattering to people but it’s ALSO about—#—him being outgoing and trying new things and putting himself out there#WHICH TODD WANTS TO BE ABLE TO DO!!!!!!!!#the moral you take away from todds growth is NOT that he has to change to be accepted because he DOESNT#its that he has to gain the confidence and belief in himself to grow and become the version of himself he WANTS to be#he NEVER changes on a fundamental level to make others happy (although his growth does make others happy) he just opens up more#and i dont know WHY some people think his arc is becoming a completely different person#like yall PLEASE#this isnt even an anderperry thing this is an issue even if you read them completely platonic#i blame the FUCKASS novelization…. dps book you will always be hated by ME#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson
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blujayonthewing · 5 months ago
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one problem with felix is that I keep going 'oh you know what would be a completely logical consequence of the life circumstances he's experienced which are completely different than mine' where the answer is something I almost immediately recognize as being devastatingly relatable to myself
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bunnihearted · 4 months ago
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ᡣ𐭩 🍓。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
#unrequited feelings are so embarrassing T-T#like idk theres just smth so so shameful and pathetic abt it for me#the person whose voice who feels like a safe haven and that makes my heart feel safe and calm.. feels that with someone else's voice#the person i want to talk to everyday and talk abt our days and share pics and rambles and say gn/gm to.. is doing that with someone else#the person i think of and wanna share myself with.. does that w someone else#the person i wanna know everything abt and ask thousands of question to does that w someone else#the person i wish to talk to with my voice even if that in itself is smth anxious for me.. does that with someone else#just all ofthe feelings i have. all of the wishes i have. about them. they feel and think about another person in their life#idk it just feels so so so humiliating#to long and ache and want for a person and they feel those things mutually with someone else#and itisharder when it wasnt a 100% unrequited crush from the beginning#but in a moment in time many of those things did occur and there was a hope that more would occur#iamlike a snailand it takes longer for me to warm up and i hate that. i hate that im so slow and it takes so long bc like#why am i so scared??? why am i especially scared of things that feel good??? i WANTED all of it but i was too scared for moving quick#and then when my desire was overriding my fear ://// idk... idk ....#i just dont know how i fucked it up but i did#and now having these feelings is humiliating and painful bc they couldve been requited if i hadnt messed it all up#so now instead of feeling smth amazing for the first time in my life im once again stuck with pain#not knowing if it'll ever go away. if i can feel this way for someone else who will feel it for me as well. will i always be alone?#and when u are in love it's also *that* person. i cant just transfer these feelings onto someone else :///#ijust dont know but it all sucks sm and i think abt every fucking day every single second and i wish i didnt feel anything#i wish i didnt feel so deeply bc it hurts too bad#knowing that i couldve had all i dream of and more but i lacked too much and was too scared... fucking hate myself so much bro
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guppygiggles · 4 months ago
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😵‍💫 Ehe...
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heirbane · 1 month ago
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Love it when I stumble upon a new blog for someone I used to write with like, five years ago, and find out I'm still blocked. Homie. Was the beef that bad.
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calamitydaze · 8 months ago
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long tag ramble below u have been warned
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#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again#but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags#(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now#but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao)#so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t#anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable#and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it#her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night#but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt#or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort#and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person#and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal#as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward#i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer#but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been#either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing#i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever#also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway#sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation#i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me#but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still)#plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down#so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again#but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to#anyway. i think that’s all i have to say!#i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open#love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶#bella talks
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primus-why · 21 days ago
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#i ran out of tags on my last reblog.#but yeah basically i wish the high guard leaned more into that toxic masculinity that they had going on#you know the type of masculinity where guys egg each other on to be more an more aggressive/violent/strong etc#the type of masculinity where... when asked ''how did it get like this? why did you and your friends take it so far?'' the guy doesn't know.#they get swept up in. let megs get swept up in this shield of strength and power which makes him feel (in the moment) not helpless.#but it goes too far. he does things he can't take back. his best friend is horrified by him-- doesn't ACCEPT him anymore.#he and Orion argue and instead of defending Sentinel Orion defends a random cronie and gets shot.#cue that moment of regret. except in this case he wouldn't catch Orion and go ''why... i'm done saving you.''#instead he'd go ''why...'' notice the cronie is trying to flee and Orion begs him to not become the monster Sentinel was.#but Megs takes offense to that. is he for real?? ''I am nothing like Sentinel. and I thought you of all people would know that...''#''... I'm the only one strong enough to fix things. It's what's best for everyone.'' ''D... no...'' ''Sorry Orion. Cybertron needs me.''#*drops him to shoot the cronie trying to escape*#Orion is so hurt. his sense of jutice is wounded but so is his spark. he dies and comes back as prime. and megs isn't happy to see him.#Starscream stands behind him emboldens Megs. the High Guard refuses to bow to another Prime. Megs now stands firmly in opposition to Optimus#this is because Starscream sees Megs as strong but easily manipulated. he thinks with him at the helm that he'll have a shield#while he basically runs the HG behind the scenes#Optimus and Megs fight. Megs loses. all his blustering about being the savior of Cybertron is thrown back in his face#it's embarrassing. he feels helpless. he never wanted to feel helpless again.#instead of banishment Megs shoves Optimus' outstretched hand aside-- he KNOWS he is in the RIGHT.#and just UGHHH THE HIGH GUARD CREATING THEIR OWN MONSTER BY SPURRING HIM ON!#no one is able to help Megs regulate his emotions he just feels bad and his new friends tell him to punch someone about it! it's not healthy#I WIIIISH I COULD LIKE IT MORE
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linabirb · 22 days ago
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if anyone's curious i do really like the *looks around* thaaaaaaat game where you *looks around* wash your.. oh god how do i even say it *looks around* mouth but i also refuse to interact with the fandom in any way because. good job guys you fandom-ified everyone these are not even the canon characters anymore i will not be elaborating
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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months ago
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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zedif-y · 9 months ago
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sometimes its like my life is just one big call for help
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alogias · 1 month ago
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Having such a hard time feeling like I’m both being perfectly reasonable in my needs and also like I’m demanding far more than I am actually worthy of
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smuggsy · 11 months ago
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i can't believe after five seasons and so many theories and anticipation, the captain's death was the most anti-climactic thing in the whole bloody show sjsjsjsj
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