#i’m always trying to be a perfect girlfriend and always feel like i’m falling so far short
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Having such a hard time feeling like I’m both being perfectly reasonable in my needs and also like I’m demanding far more than I am actually worthy of
#i don’t know#i don’t know who to turn to about this anymore#i feel embarrassed bringing it up to my friends even because like#why don’t i ever learn? why do i keep putting myself in these situations and dynamics that won’t make me happy#why does it feel like no one will ever want what i want to see me for what i am#i’m always trying to be a perfect girlfriend and always feel like i’m falling so far short#i’m not aromantic i don’t think but it feels like the love i want isn’t the love anyone else is looking for?#and that probably sounds vain and stupid but like#fuck#i just don’t know#personal
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you sometimes forgot how… slightly obsessive, violet could be. nsfw.
when you were younger you had a love hate relationship with her tendency to become so completely fixated on something. staying up for hours at night thinking about their next score, holding a grudge for years against anyone who got piss drunk and pissed off vander in the bar, planning and fidgeting over the perfect way to ask you out for weeks before you finally took the step yourself.
even if it got her into danger, got her and her siblings into a temporary struggle that made your heart stall with the thought of nearly losing them, you always reminded her that you thought her fixation on things was cute, and a useful tool about half of the time.
(you even said that the trait reminded you of powder, always blabbering to you for as long as she could talk about her new ideas for gadgets and bombs. the girl was overjoyed in sharing something in common with her big sister, immediately climbing on her back to ramble about something new.)
but then you actually you lost her. you lost all of them. and you wished you had told her that that insecurity she had, all the insecurities she had, were stupid and inconsequential to how perfect you thought she was.
but maybe you’ll get the chance to tell her (and tell jinx that yeah, you were right, i did start seeing ghosts too) because a scarily realistic replica of your ex is standing in front of you and before you can shoo it away she’s hugging you so tight you think your ribs will break.
you follow as ekko gives her the tour of the firelights base, admiring each and every way she’s changed. she’s taller, obviously stronger, wearing a prison uniform that you don’t if you’re allowed to say looks good on her and a red jacket she stole from some guy because of course she did. you stifle a laugh as she tells the story and she smiles at you, indiscreetly wrapping your hand in hers.
it’s obvious by the look on his face ekko is so going to tease you about this later, but you don’t get a chance to care when she turns to you and ask where she and her enforcer friend can sleep. and janna knows you want to offer for her to sleep with you, but it’s been years and you don’t want to make her uncomfortable so you lead her and caitlyn to the newbie dorms.
but it seems like you’ve forgotten just how damn stubborn she is, because not even half an hour later a loud banging at your draws you from your bed, her flushed and nervous face shocking you into silence.
she asks to come in, but with her it’s always more like a demand then a question. you try to ignore the burning feeling of her eyes trained on you as you lead her to your bed, rolling your eyes as she aggressively flops back onto it.
“holy fuck, i haven’t been on something this soft in years. i think i’m gonna fall asleep right now.”
“i wouldn’t be mad if you did.” well, you’d be a little upset. you have so much to talk to her about everything, anything that’s happened since she disappeared. granted a lot of it was bad but there were still a few things you think would cheer her up. she’d already told you enthusiastic she was to eat jerichos again, just wait till she found out that-
you must of zoned out for a minute because you’re shocked back to reality by soft lips pressed to yours, vi’s bandaged hand cupping your cheek like you’ll fade into dust if she lets go. you mentally kick yourself in the head for not responding quicker when she pulls away and looks at you with that sad puppy look she gets.
“i, i’m sorry. it’s just, you were staring at me for a while! and it’s been so long since i’ve seen you and i don’t even know what we are or if we’re still girlfriends but you’re even more beautiful than the last time i saw you-“
you cup both of her cheeks in your hands,(maybe a little too hard) give her a second to back away if she wants, and pull her back in. her arms wrap around your waist and she lets out a whimper when your hand travels to the back of her neck to pull her closer and closer-
and now it’s around one hour? maybe two? it’s a while later, and as her hand travels back into you for the fourth time, yeah, you’re starting to remember how obsessive she could be.
“vi, baby - oh my gods, y’know you can slow down!” your voice pitches when her fingers, her beautiful long and big fingers push up against that spot inside you, her other hand keeping your hips down when you involuntarily raise them off the sheets.
“don’t think i can, princess.” she groans into your breast as she sucks another path of bruises down your chest, slate eyes amused at how your hands grip the bed like it stole from you, how your mouth opens so cutely before you bite your lips to hold back your sounds.
her mouth finally closes around your clit and the increased sensitivity from your past orgasms combined with the almost growling sound she makes when she tastes you sends you right over the edge, thighs clamping around her head as she carries you through it.
the rubbing of her rough hands over your thighs and her gentle words of praise merry drag you into the beginnings of a soft slumber.
until you can feel the damn brute lift your legs onto her shoulders and stick her tongue inside you, laughing at your shocked squeal and resumed grip on her hair.
“besides, we’ve gotta make up for lost time, don’t we?”
writing a drabble based on the fic you’re writing instead of finish the fic i’m such a genius like 😍😍 glad her tag is coming back but i want content coming out like a factory line ok everyone get to work 🙏🏽
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𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 ─ 𝐨𝐩𝟖𝟏
summary: where oscar has done everything in his power to make his feelings for you as obvious as possible, but you are simply quite clueless to the poor boy’s advances pairing: oscar piastri x driver!reader warning: fluff, oblivious reader
note: i wrote this in two hours and it's purely for fun. i did not bother thinking about how realistic this could be at all so it's a bit ridiculous i think
masterlist
sometimes, oscar just wants to run into a wall and knock himself out.
maybe that would shake his brain enough for it to formulate a plan for you to finally realize all the oh so awfully obvious hints he’s been dropping. he’s been so obvious that the entire world knows it; all the other drivers, mechanics from practically every team, reporters, fans. literally everybody has picked up on his pitiful attempts at catching your attention but you.
or maybe he needed to push you down a flight of stairs and knock you out for you to finally figure out that he likes you as more than friends. because at this point, it’s starting to get ridiculous. he’s been pursuing you since f3. in every ridiculous challenge with prema to every track walks and everything in between, he’s done everything possible to show you that he likes you, fancies you, absolutely besotted to the sound of your voice.
that never seems to discourage him though, if anything, it only makes him like you more. robert once joked that you’d put a spell on him and oscar can’t quite deny it if he’s being honest.
“y/n, wait up!” he called to you right before the driver’s parade, leaving lando behind him, who whispered a quick good luck to him.
hearing your name made you turn to him, an instant smile on your face that made oscar’s heart violently lurch forward. most of the time, you preferred to keep your hair in a tight ponytail, wanting all the little strands out of your face when you’re on track but this time, strands had fallen off the paintail, framing your face in such a perfect way that knocks the breath out of oscar’s lungs.
you’re perfect in his eyes all the time of course; even in the few times you’d pushed him off track, but there’s something so ethereal about you when your smile is for him.
charles, your teammate, and lewis whom you were previously talking to subtle stepped away from you in order to give the two of you a moment. charles throws oscar a small thumbs up with that maniacal smile of his whenever he’s fortunate enough to be able to watch oscar absolutely get crushed by y/n’s cluelessness every time he tries and drops a hint to his feelings.
“hey, osc,” you greet, easily falling into step with him.
“hey, how’s the down under treating you?” he asked, trying to act casually as he buried his hands in his pockets.
he winced at his own words. how’s the down under treating you? really?
at least you seem to find it amusing as you award him with a chuckle, hand instinctively wrapping around his arm the way girls do when they’re really comfortable with you and don’t want you to get lost in the crowd. you only ever do it to him (and he’s made sure to check) and it never fails to quite literally turn him to mush.
“you know i’ve adored it!” you gush. you love australia, this is no secret to everyone , so much so that you’ve joked about it being your second home race, to which oscar have always enthusiastically nodded in agreement to. “charles, alexandra and i went cafe hopping all around melbourne yesterday.”
oscar hummed, trying to hide the hint of disappointment in his face that you hadn’t asked him to accompany you like the few times in the past but he knows that you and charles’ girlfriend have formed a very close friendship. “is that so? i’m glad you had fun.”
you smile up at him. “how about you? i reckon it’s nice being back home, isn’t it?”
“absolutely. the family’s been asking about you, by the way.” he just wanted you to keep talking. you could talk his ears off for hours and oscar would never complain.
you face instantly light up at that. “i’ll make sure to drop by the mclaren garage later. i miss nicole.”
“she missed you too,” he says before clearing his throat. “so um, are you immediately flying out tomorrow?”
you shook your head. “no, i’m planning to stay for a couple more days.”
“oh good.” he thanked god his hands were buried in his pockets so you can’t see how much they’re shaking. “you’re free tomorrow then?”
you nod and he nods back at you awkwardly. “yeah.”
“oh good.” stop. stop. he already said that. “do you want to check out that restaurant we went to during f2 maybe?”
your face lights up again and your hand that’s holding on to his arm squeezes it ever so slightly in excitement. “oh absolutely. maybe i can bring charles and alex along and you can bring lando and logan.”
oscar wanted the ground to just swallow him up. he could probably shout i love you at you while staring directly into your eyes and you’d think he’s talking to someone behind you. one time in f2, he wrote all his feelings for you in a note and gave it to you only for you to hand it straight to robert without even glancing at it thinking he just wanted for you to pass it along. another time, he spent hours and hours trying to gather the courage to wrap his arm around your shoulder only for you to grinned up at him and wrap your arm around logan’s shoulder thinking he’d just wanted the three of you to huddle around. oscar is running out of ideas if he’s being honest.
“that sounds…fun, but i was hoping, maybe, it could just be — you know, the two of us. like old times,” he manages to let out.
“poor oscar,” lando says as he, charles, max and lewis watch your interaction.
“oscar should just kiss her already,” max said.
charles cackled at that, shaking his head. “she’d probably think it’s a friendly kiss.”
“maybe he just needs to shake her shoulder and scream im stupidly in love with you right on her face,” lewis joked as they kept watching the two of you.
oscar watched as you let go of his arm, leaning onto the railing for the parade. you seem to take your precious time twisting the cup of your water bottle open and torturing oscar at the way your throat constricted as you drank water before you turned back to him with a smile. “yeah, sure, osc. i’d love that.”
oscar returned back to the group of boys with a dopey smile on his face, high off of you as lando slapped him on the shoulder in a small congratulations.
charles couldn’t help but laugh at the look of the younger driver. “y/n’s broken him, i think.”
—
logan tried to contain his amusement as his australian best friend fell on his hotel room’s couch with his face buried in his hands, groaning in frustration and looking red in the face. oscar wore a loose white button up with a dark pair of jeans. he’d even worn his nice shoes for the occasion, wanting to be as presentable as possible as he picked you up from your hotel room to see you in the prettiest sundress in the most beautiful shade of blue that contrasted perfectly with your skin.
the two of you ate and laughed and walked around with you holding on to his arm as oscar gathered the courage all night to tell you how he felt.
“and then what happened?” logan asked as oscar groaned, frustratedly running his hands through his hair.
“i told her i love her,” he muttered to himself and you smiled at him with that beautiful smile of yours.
“that’s great, osc!” logan tried to cheer him up, clapping him on the back as he remained hunched over the couch. “what did she say?”
that seems to be a sore spot as oscar only groaned louder, petulantly kicking his shoes off. he can’t quite fathom how such a perfect night turned to him crashing in his best mate’s room so he can vent.
“she said, and i quote ‘aw, osc. i love you too. you’re one of my best friends.’ and then i just about died on the spot.”
logan winced at that, his hand now rubbing on oscar’s shoulder in comfort. “well, maybe next time the wording should be ‘i’m in love with you’?”
but oscar only groaned again. “this is a lost cause. best friend? is that all i am?” oscar starts his rant. “am i just one the many best friends in her life? will we drift apart after we both retire? at this point, i’d count myself lucky if i ever get invited to her wedding. maybe if i want to push my luck, i could be the fucking godfather of her kids.”
and logan only winced again because he never even thought someone could be that clueless and oblivious.
—
“you look beautiful, y/n,” oscar tells you as he passes you by the media pen, ignoring the cameras and lando’s knowing grin.
“thanks, osc. you look quite handsome yourself.” a dust of pink covers your cheeks as you smile at him, hand reaching to squeeze his lightly as you pass him by, being led by your pr team.
for a moment, oscar freezes on the spot, unable to stop the way all his blood rushed to his cheeks and the smile that stretched across his lips.
“mate, pull yourself together,” lando teases, pushing oscar forward to get him out of what lando dubs as the ‘y/n l/n induced lovesick daze’.
a reporter who’d seen the entire interaction couldn’t help but laugh as she said; “y/n truly is quite a sight, isn’t she?”
oscar didn’t think his cheeks could get anymore red as he nodded. “she always has been the most beautiful girl.”
lando playfully rolled his eyes as he and oscar continued on. if he was being honest with himself, even he is getting tired with the constant pining between you and oscar. the boy could scream at the top of his lungs how in love he is with you and you’d still think it’s all platonic. this entire thing was getting a bit too pitiful for both of your friends to watch.
which is why charles and lando have taken it upon themselves to finally force you to see what’s right in front of you. oscar loved you too much to even think about putting you in any form of uncomfortable situation even if it comes at his own expense, thankfully for lando and charles, they don’t share the same sentiment and so the two got to planning.
it was simple enough really. lando grabbed oscar by his collar, dragging him all over the paddock towards the ferrari motorhome.
“lando,” oscar whined behind him. “what the fuck are you doing?”
“trust me, mate, this is for your own good,” said his teammate, ignoring all the cameras that had gathered around them, following along.
“can’t you at least let me walk on my own?” oscar complained again, hunched over as lando quite literally dragged him by his mclaren shirt’s collar.
lando shook his head. “nope. i legitimately cannot handle this not going the way it’s meant to again.”
in the distance, both mclaren boys heard you voice your complaints to charles as your teammate held you on the shoulder to keep you in place, a group of mechanics and engineers huddle around the two of you, watching in curiosity,
finally, lando let go of oscar, allowing him to stand properly as the younger boy threw a glare at him while fixing his shirt. then he found himself face to face with you, confusion all over your face as it finally dawned on him what this is all about.
“oscar?” you asked, looking between him and lando along with the group that had accumulated on their way to ferrari. “what are you all doing here?”
lando and charles folded their arms over their chest as charles motioned towards the two of you. “we figured the only way for you to finally get it is if there’s an audience.”
“get what?” you asked again and oscar, palms already sweating in front of you and looking as though he’d rather get struck by lightning awkwardly cleared his throat.
“well get on to it, oscar,” lando says though his accent makes oscar’s name sound like oscah and oscar almost wanted to punch him there and then.
again, oscar awkwardly cleared his throat as you finally face him. “y/n, i have to tell you something.”
you motioned for him to continue. “okay. what is it, osc?”
“i don’t know how else to tell you this without being upfront about it so—”
“what’s going on here?” and at the moment, fred vasseur stepped into the scene, confusion all over his face as he found practically half the paddock inside his motorhome, all of them crowding around you and oscar.
everyone groaned, charles threw his hands up in frustration and lando wanted to bang his head against the table. “fred, you’re my boss, but please stop talking.”
fred was just about to say something else when charles physically dragged him to his side to shut him up.
you turned back to oscar, encouraging him to keep talking even though you would have preferred more privacy.
“i like you a lot,” he finally blurts out. “ever since f3. no, way before that. ever since karting.”
you smile at him kindly. “i like you too, oscar. i told you, you’re one of my best friends—”
every one groaned, cutting you off and oscar shook his head.
“no, y/n. you don’t get it. i don’t just like you. i’m very much in love with you,” he emphasized, remembering logan’s words about wording it properly as he took her hand in his shaky ones. “like…i want to spend my life with you kind of in love with you.”
you eyes widened in surprise and a part of oscar had thought that maybe you were just in complete denial the entire time but he realized now that you truly, absolutely had no idea about his feelings. he doesn’t know which one is worse if he’s being honest with himself.
“well, why didn’t you tell me, osc?” you ask gently.
“love,” he starts softly, the nickname effortlessly rolling off his tongue. “i can’t count anymore how many times i’ve told you and how many times i’ve tried to tell you and how many times i tried to show you.”
“i never noticed.” for a moment, you seem completely dumbfounded and he couldn’t help the laugh that escaped his lips at the adorable way your mouth parted in surprised. you’re adorable, beautiful, gorgeous and every other adjective even if you unintentionally made his life hell the past few years.
“that’s alright,” he reassures you.
you couldn’t help but smile shyly at him as you squeezed his hand. “well, if it makes a difference, i’m very much in love with you as well. like…i want to spend the rest of my life with you kind of in love.”
at that, he laughed again, pulling you towards him as your lips crashed together.
and everyone fucking cheered at that.
general tag list: @ricsaigaslec @dragon-of-winterfell @coffeehurricanes @rdtbattinson @privcherry7 @miniminescapist @sebsdaniel @strelcka @writing-about-current-obsessions @amsofftrack @lostinketterdam @bisexual-desi @cialovessirlewis @multilovebot @lovelynikol16 @troybolton-14 @ohthemissery @dr3lover @myescapefromthislife @sunf1owerrq @the6ccnsp6cyy @t-nd-rfoot @navixfr @xjval @gridbunny @sunf1ower16 @lord-sharl-perceval @callsign-scully @saturnsrinqs @darleneslane @nmw-am @stopeatread
let me know if you guys want to be added to the general tag list or a specific driver's tag list or even if you want to be removed from the tag list because i get how annoying consistently getting tagged is.
#f1 x reader#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri fluff#f1 imagine#f1 smut#f1#formula 1#f1 one shot
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Slim Pickins (LN4)
Lando Norris x fem!photograpgher!reader
Summary: In which, she can't find a guy who's jacked and kind. Until she does.
Warnings: this is all fictional!, reader has a crush on Oscar in the beginning, Lily is an angel as always, swearing, bad jokes, suggestive at moments, Lando being a fuckboy, this is the end of this seriess :( It was so much fun, holy shit.
Wordcount: 9.1k
Masterlist, Short n'Sweet Series
Bright lights. Cars flashing by in a second before her. She made them brighter - more colourful. She made them come alive in a way only pictures could. She made them her own. Adding the preset she usually used and adjusting whatever needed to be adjusted. Whether it be the brightness or whites, darks, shadows, temperature.
The pillow behind her back made the position she was in feel more comfortable than it actually would be. Hunched over her laptop, the light of it illuminating her face, glasses on top of her nose. She had to get the pictures ready before midnight. Headphones over her ears to drown out the noises from the room next to hers. Girlish moans fighting the wall to get through her. But she wouldn’t let them. The loud volume of the music made it impossible for anything to get through to her. Not even the loud banging sound that was heard from the hallway.
Oscar furiously knocked his fist against the room of his teammate. He had a long night already, being dragged out by Lando for a couple of hours beforehand, exploring some clubs and bars and girls. It wasn’t in any of his interest. He had a girlfriend which he loved, he wasn’t in need for more than one. Not like someone else.
In the corner of his eye he saw a shadow slip out of the room next to Lando’s. He felt sorry for the girl, having to hear some kind of animal like Lando after a few drinks and in a horny state. It was unbearable to sleep at that.
“He won’t answer you any time soon,” the girl said, putting the headphones around her neck, stopping the music that was once playing in order to hear him in case he should answer. She hoped he would. She loved his voice. The soothing feeling of it, almost giving you the feeling of his mouth travelling up your skin. Speaking closely; calm.
“Yeah,” he agreed with her, snapping her out her daydreams. “But, thought I might as well try since I can’t sleep now.” He crossed his arms over his body, stepping towards her. Even if only a few centimetres, it was something. Still though keeping a respectful distance between them to not over step any lines.
How can anybody be so perfect? she thought. Her eyes trailing over his face, following his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose.
“No luck, apparently,” she said, leaning against the door frame next to her.
He nodded his head again, looking at Lando’s hotel room door once again. “Where are you off to now in the middle of the night?”
“Just getting a snack before going back to work,” she answered, holding up the wallet in her hand.
“You’re still working?” Oscar always believed that after 8 pm everyone - beside overnight jobs - stopped working, leaving the night to take over. Apparently not.
“That’s the disadvantage of putting it off for the whole night to meet up with friends. And now I’m in a rush and immense need of coffee,” she told him. She felt her eyes already wanting to fall shut.
The answer made him laugh, a breathy sound escaping his mouth. The amusement written clearly on his face. Y/n looked up at him at the sound of his voice a smile on her face, though it quietly faded as she saw the almost brother-like behavior radiating from him. He knew how girls could be, putting off everything until the last second to have a little more fun in life. He knew it all too well. His sister demonstrating her tactic more than often. The feeling of him seeing her as nothing more than just an additional sister weighted her down, the truth knocking on her door, telling her once again that there would be nothing more. She knew he was in a relationship. she wouldn’t wanna change that. Not after seeing how he talked about Lily, how he would mention whenever he could, how he still blushed at the mere mention of her name even after so many years of dating. The jealousy taking over the joy of being friends with him.
Though, the bigger hole she couldn’t fill, was that she didn’t want only him as a partner in particular, she wanted someone like him. Some guy who was willing to commit without fear, some guy who made her feel loved no matter how far away they would be from one another, some guy who saw her as she was, not what he wanted her to be.
It was a never ending story of disappointment in her life when it came to dating: finding a cute guy, going on a date, fucking, being told that it would only be something casual. What were guys so afraid of? Why did they make themselves look so insecure and frightened when it came to relationships? What did it even mean: casual? What was the purpose of dating casually if nothing would come out of it in the end?
Why did guys have to be so goddamn ashamed of love?
The door next to them opened, Lando standing in the doorway. Hair messy, grey sweatpants thrown on, his pupils were deflated, his breath still a bit heavy, eyes dancing between the pair in front of his door. A girl was heard inside, calling out to him with a drunk giggle, before she quietened down and fell asleep. He, himself, was hanging on to the door frame in a drunk manner. His eyes almost falling shut any second.
“What are you doing here?” he stammered, his eyes focusing on the girl for a bit longer before he let his head fell against the wood frame tiredly. His head was throbbing already.
“Getting coffee,” she answered.
“Thinking about handing in a noise complaint,” Oscar answered dryly, making the girl laugh at his answer.
Lando’s eyes flitted over to her frame, softening at the sight until he remembered she didn’t laugh because of him, she never did. She never found him funny, or so he thought. Truth been told, she did like his humour, finding it rather absurd than funny, but still. The only thing holding her back from laughing was the general distaste she had for the person telling the joke. Lando was the definition of everything she despised in a guy. He was a playboy, never taking on anything serious and having more than one girl at once by his side. It made her almost sick.
“Sorry for having a life,” Lando answered annoyed, staring at Oscar with bored eyes.
“You know not everything in life is about sex, right?” the girl asked him, growing more cold with him than she did while talking to Oscar.
“How would you know?” Lando mumbled, ready to head back to bed without further thinking about his behavior.
Y/n narrowed her eyes at him. Oscar looked between the pair. He knew they weren’t particularly fond of each other, preferring to distance themselves when possible, but this - the annoyance at the other’s mere existence or voice - was something he never thought to experience. Lando slipped back into the room, closing the door and leaning against the door. He could still hear them talk, bidding the other goodnight, Oscar apologizing for his behavior, Y/n waving it off as ‘classical Lando’ and probably rolling her eyes at the memory of their interaction. He could hear Oscar telling her, that he had no idea why he acted like that around her and that he didn’t do it with anyone else. To which she only replied, that it was because of the same reason she couldn’t handle him for very long: they were too different to properly see eye to eye. She also said, that she was fine with that and that she even preferred it in that way.
What were they too different in? Lando couldn’t help but wonder about everything they had in common and everything they hadn’t as he laid in bed that night, wide awake. The alcohol breaking down, making him able to think more clearly. They both liked photography, racing, friends, family, travelling. They were both adventurous, both keen to learn new things whenever they could, staying up late, going out, staying in every once in a while. He liked parties, she preferred alone time - maybe even with a possible lover. And that’s when it hit him. When his eyes drifted over to the girl laying in his bed, sleeping tight, naked. He liked the company of people, the roaring feeling of a new experience every night. She liked the image of having one person to feel excited about forever, stepping in and out of the house with them, holding hands, kissing softly in the morning, telling secrets, fears and dreams.
But both didn’t like falling asleep alone.
While he coped with it by never being alone - even when it wasn’t the same as how he’d want it - she let the weight of loneliness heave down her chest. She let herself feel.
Taking a shower at 7 in the morning and leaving his hotel room shortly after, Lando walked out on the still quiet streets, camera in his hands. He caught barely any sleep, always wondering instead. Worrying. About everything he feared he couldn’t make right anymore, that everything he did wrong was already too fucked up to make it stable again. The camera gave him a sense of security, being a reminder that even only one photo was the reminder of something good. But coming back an hour later with his SD-card still empty he lost all hope for a good day. Being depressed in the morning made you feel bad the whole day. That was just the way life goes. He had to accept it. He had to feel it.
With his head bowed low, gaze focused on his shoes rather than in front of him, Lando soon smashed into a body. Catching whoever it was before they could fall down. A light surge of hope rushed through his veins, thumbing to his heart as he imagined it being Y/n. Looking up, he was faced with the girl he went to bed last night. Eyes wide, mouth open in shock. Neither thought it would be the other. She mumbled a little “thank you,” offered him a smile and then hurriedly headed out the hotel, climbing in the uber that stood at the side walk, waiting for her.
“Lovely reunion,” Y/n commented sarcastically as she walked past him. Heading out as well.
She almost slipped away from him until he caught up with her step, exiting the building again. His hands stuffed in his pocket, camera dangling from his wrist. “Where are you going?” he asked. They walked down the street he came from before.
The girl stopped walking, holding up her own camera and taking a picture. It was a way smaller one then she normally used. A digicam instead of a professional camera. He had never seen it before, though it was rather an older one.
Indirectly answering his question, she asked one as well. “Where were you coming from?” They continued walking down the street.
Lando held up his own camera to her, not taking a picture like she did in the process. She knew he liked photography as well, finding his jpg insta account rather quickly after doing a deep dive into him on her first day of work - can’t a girl be prepared? He took good pictures, some great ones even, impressing her more than once when she saw that he had posted new ones. Always interested in others talent and passion, she started conversing with him about the topic at hand.
“What pictures did you take then until now?” She asked eagerly, waiting for him to hand his camera over to her.
“None,” he answered, making her frown.
“What do you mean ‘none’?” She never understood how someone could take zero pictures in a new place. Always being the one finding beauty in the ordinary she felt lucky for such a talent.
Lando switched on his camera and showed her the 0/0 and No Picture Available lining his gallery screen. It almost seemed like mockery in his eyes, how it made him look so boring. She was finally interested in what he was doing and now he had nothing to show her. Y/n frowned at the sight in front of her, her eyes slipping from the screen to the person in front of her. Shaking her head in dismissal of his failure. She couldn’t just sent him back his own way now, could she? Not when she noticed the dark circles under his eyes. Not when she saw the look in his eyes, a rather hopeful one for her allowing him to stay. And when he looked at her like that, how could she deny him? It wasn’t too hard to push away the persona he had at night and at least try to see the version Oscar had told her about - the version almost everybody else told her about.
Lando was sure she would sent him away, sent him back to the hotel. He was ready to turn around and go, leaving her to her peace.
“Looks like we need to change that,” she said, before beginning to walk again.
After looking at her back perplexed for a second, he quickly followed her. Catching up with her quick step. Catching a photo of her figure while doing so.
“What do you shoot besides fast cars on track?” Lando asked, intrigued at seeing her walking through the streets and mostly not even looking twice at the cars driving by.
“Men,” she joked, smirking at him from the side. Seeing the septic look in his eyes, she added, “Just kidding. Only in America.”
Lando cracked a smile at her humour, but the lack of laugh leaving her worried. “Sorry, was it too much?” She asked, turning her head to see him smiling at her, shaking his head. Most people didn’t found her funny. Most guys she was out with thought she was being mean and arrogant, when mostly it was just sarcasm.
“No, don’t worry,” he assured her. “I like your humour.”
“Well, thank you,” she said, hands behind her back, clamping together. Her thumbnail pressing into her palm to keep her from smiling too much. He’s not a good guy, don’t let yourself be fooled, she reminded herself. He wouldn’t want any more from you than all these other douchebags in your phone.
“I mostly just shoot whatever looks beautiful, anything that captures my eye,” she answered again, truthful this time. Lando nodded at her answer, he felt the same, always photographing whatever looked good, never because he felt the need to stick to a certain type of object or action.
“Yeah, it’s kind of the best way to go at it, right?” Lando said, scratching the back of his neck. “I mean, why capture something forever if you don’t like it?”
“Exactly,” she agreed with him. Her voice being barely a whisper now, thoughts coming through she wished to have pushed far away.
What’s the purpose of staying if you don’t even like me? A sentence she will never forget. The perfect guy - kind, sweet, alive, nice, respectful, hot - turned out to be another disappointment. That was a year ago, shortly after she was accepted by McLaren as a photographer. She told him about the news, thinking he’d be happy to hear her getting the job. Instead he accused her of not loving him because she would have to travel so much with all the races and not caring about how he felt about that. Was she really so unlovable to not get the one she wanted? The good guy. The one that felt as much a friend as a boyfriend. Was there really no way she could get someone she could truly love?
“Are you okay?” Lando asked, sensing her now stiff body and her sunken mood. Putting his hand on her shoulder to make her stop walking and look at him. He wore a frown on his face, some kind of worry flashing through his eyes when she faced him fully, eyes connecting.
“I’m fine, don’t worry,” she said, mustering a small smile.
Lando learned that, unless they’re your partner, you shouldn’t pressure anyone into talking about something they didn’t openly talk about first.
The longer they walked, the more the streets came alive. But she barely cared about them, she took pictures of the buildings. Doors, windows, architecture. That was what she thought had to be remembered, the things human build and that would eventually fall apart because of them.
“You don’t really like photographing people, do you?” Lando asked as they sat down in a cafe, getting a coffee before walking home again.
They were already two hours outside, finding new streets every few minutes and just walking wherever light shone. When a street would be too dark for her liking, she would just keep on walking, ignoring Lando who promised to protect her. She only said, that she didn’t really trust his martial art skills, so she refused.
“I do, sometimes,” she argued with him. Her eyes turning sharp and a frown came on her face. “I just prefer everything else.”
“And still you photograph me and Osc after every race,” he smirked at her.
Y/n’s face turned red, her eyes widening in surprise that he noticed. She wasn’t assigned to take photos of them after races all too often, being used more to take pictures of the cars throughout the race, qualifying or practice. Still, she would often use her camera to take pictures of them from behind everyone else. Catching angles and moments the assigned photographers weren’t so likely to catch themselves. They were focused on the Instagram account, while she was more focused on sending them to their families for enjoyment and memories. Sometimes she would sent them to Oscar as well, so that he could show them to his girlfriend. A bitter sweet reminder how he saw her.
After being left with silence, Lando continued, leaning forward to talk quieter. “You sent them to my mom, my dad, even Osc, but never me. Why?”
“I don’t have your number,” she said simply, not having another explanation. It was the truth, but she also wasn’t too keen on having his number in her phone.
“I could give it to you,” he suggested.
“You could,” she said back.
She couldn’t get the perfect guy, but Lando was willing to take her. And maybe that could be enough.
“It was nice today,” Lando said, stopping in front of her room at the hotel. Hands tucked in his pockets.
He took about 130 photos, a third of them being of her. The girl standing in front of him, smiling sweetly and nodding her head.
“Yeah,” she agreed with him. “It wasn’t too bad.”
They stood opposite each other for a while until Y/n cleared her throat.
“I’ll see you later tonight at the dinner?” She asked, reminding him off the plans the team had for the evening.
His eyes widened in remembering, “Oscar said, that you wouldn’t be there.”
“I wasn’t going to go, but my plans got cancelled, so I don’t have anything better to do.” She shrugged.
“OK, then I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She waved at him before closing the door as soon as she put a foot in her room again. Leaning against the wooden surface, she lets out a sigh. How did that happen?
Y/n pulled out her phone to look at the time, instead she was greeted by a dozen missed calls. All of them belonging to one particular person, Johanna, her best friend since kindergarten.
Calling back, she heard screaming on the other line: “Where were you? I thought you were kidnapped and killed. Holy shit, girl, don’t do this to me ever again.”
“I’m sorry,” she laughed at her friends exaggeration. “I was just out, taking pictures like usual.”
“For how long?”
“About 3 hours, I think? Maybe only two, I don’t really know,” she answered, falling down on the mattress.
“OK,” she squealed. “Who was with you?”
“I wasn’t with anybody,” Y/n defended herself, biting her lip to keep herself from saying more. To not unravel her lies.
“Sure you weren’t,” Johanna said, knowing she would get through to her in some way. “You would’ve answered my calls if you were alone, because you’d have your headphones on. But you didn’t. So, who were you with? Was it Oscar? Did you finally get him?”
“I was with Lando,” she confessed. Unable to keep anything from her.
Johanna gasped in shock, sucking in her breath while she spoke, “No.”
“We met in the foyer of the hotel and he just came back from being outside, taking pictures. Or at least, attempting to do so, because when I asked him about it, he confessed that he had taken no pictures. So, I offered him to walk with me again and we did. Taking pictures.”
“For 3 hours?” her friend asked, knowing how she could get annoyed very easily when having to pass by photo-possibilities in case of annoying the person she was walking with. That was why she always went out alone, until now.
“For 3 hours,” Y/n confirmed.
“Was he an asshole?” Being on the receiving end of most of the girl’s rants about how annoying Lando could be, she couldn’t stop herself from asking. Some things were just too bizarre to not be curious about.
“Surprisingly no. He was really nice, actually. We talked and when we got back, I asked him if he came to the dinner tonight.”
“He probably said no, because he hates those things.”
“He tried confirming that I came as well, because I actually had plans. Apparently Oscar told him about it.”
“You had plans? Why didn’t you tell me about those plans?”
Y/n sighed, not eager to share the news. “I was supposed to go on a date with this guy, nothing serious in the future, just something to get my fixings, you know? He canceled this morning, saying that he was back with his ex.”
“What an ass,” the girl on the other line said. She never understood why Y/n had to have such a bad taste in men, particularly because she deserved so much more. “Maybe you could use Lando to get your fixings?” she suggested, trailing off at the end of her sentence.
“I’m not gonna use him,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“What does he do with all the other girls? There isn’t much to it. It’s all the same, just you’ll get slut shamed if you’d do the same. Turn the tables,” she said.
Y/n shouldn’t listen to her, she knew that. Being the friend who had been through the most toxic relationships, and only barely holding onto her sanity because of the situationship she had at the moment, she wasn’t someone who should give out advice like it were pennies from her pocket.
“I’ll text you when I come back from the dinner, alright?” Y/n settled on the agreement with herself of leaving today to let things settle, maybe sleeping about it was the wiser choice.
The knock on her door was a signal that she should already be dressed and ready to go. Instead, she stood in front of the mirror for 30 minutes already, pondering if she should wear a jacket or not. She didn’t know whether they sat outside or not, most likely not. Shrugging the extra clothing off and throwing it on the bed, Y/n made her way to the door, expecting Oscar to wait for her.
“Lando, what are you doing here?” She asked the boy who leaned against the wall next to the door, fidgeting with his fingers. Waiting for her, she supposed.
“Waiting for you,” he confirmed. “I thought we could get there together.”
“I was actually already meeting up with Oscar.”
“Oh yeah, he had something he needed to talk about with Lily, so he will come after,” Lando said, scratching the back of his neck as if in need for a good answer to appear.
“Oh, okay,” the girl said, slightly disappointed, before turning around and locking her room.
“You look good,” Lando commented as they walked down the hall.
Standing in front of the elevator, she turned her head towards him. “Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.”
The dinner went by in mostly silence, besides Lando’s unusual presence and therefore also the unusual amount of bad jokes and laughter filled heated discussions about racing or video games. It wasn’t as irradiating as she thought it would be and the topics weren’t as confusing to her foreign mind as she expected them to be. All because, whenever Lando saw her eyebrows knit together and her lips parting in confusion, he would explain the subject at hand to her in the smallest detail to really make her understand what the conversation was about. Making it easier for her to follow than normally.
They stayed behind, engrossed in conversation with whoever was willing to talk about a certain topic, until even the last engineer decided to head back to their room and get their rest. Now, they were sat next to each other at the big table, all alone. The restaurant wasn’t empty by far, still enough people were talking and maybe even eating. Everyone paid for their own food and drinks, so now the only left open bill was theirs.
“I enjoyed going out to take picture with you today,” Lando confessed into their silence, sipping on his espresso.
“I did too,” she said back, surprised at her soft tone and faint smile. “You weren’t half as annoying as normally.”
He laughed at her answer, her smile growing bigger at the sound of it. “I didn’t expect any other answer.”
Their laughter died down with every passing moment, only smiles remaining, as the slow jazz music filled the place again. Cutlery on porcelain skimming through the air and conversation from different tables surrounding them once more. But in their heads, they heard none of that. All they were aware of was their heartbeat and the comfort they found so suddenly in the other. She felt his hand grazing her leg and he could feel her skin passing by under his fingertips.
“Maybe we could do it again in another city.”
“That would mean that you have to arrive earlier and spent less time in Monaco,” she reminded him, knowing how most drivers - him included - preferred to arrive at track the night before media day. He would never find the time go out with her and explore the city then.
“For you, I’m wiling to do that.” Lando leaned closer, his back against the chair he was sat on, but his hand now on her thigh.
“What a charming man you are,” she said back, mocking him in a way, but her cheeks still turned red at the contact.
“It’s natural,” he shrugged nonchalantly.
She scoffed at his behavior, turning her head away for a second before responding, “And the people on the internet call you Lando Norizz. I really understand it now.”
“Very funny,” he commented back. “Still I got you blushing.”
“It’s just very hot in here,” she brushed it off simply.
“Probably because of me, right?”
There it was again, the reminder why she couldn’t stand him.
“Dream on, Norizz.”
“I will.”
They drank their espresso before heading back to the hotel, walking side by side. With the restaurant being only one entrance next to the hotel, it made it all easier and faster to get back.
“Have a good night, Y/n,” Lando said as they reached her hotel room.
“Good night, Lando,” she said, her hand on the door handle and her mind gambling whether she should play the game or let it be. Turn the tables. She did, kissing his cheek and leaving him left standing with a deep red colour creeping up his neck, before slipping into her room and looking irritated by her own actions at the reflection in the mirror.
Sunday came around the corner and though she photographed Lando, she hadn’t talked to him yet.
Their conversation still hung in the the air every time they passed each other in the paddock or he smiled for a picture of hers. Receiving one in return when she looked at the photo appearing on her screen shortly after. She had never done it before, smiling at his face whenever she saw it, but now she couldn’t help it. Looking at Oscar photo bombing by accident made the picture just a little sweeter.
“You’re blushing,” a voice said from behind her. Turning around in a state of shock, she tried to hide the zoomed in on face on her camera from whoever was invading her private space. “It’s because of my face, right?”
“Oh, you wish, Norris,” she laughed back awkwardly, trying to slip into the easy banter as naturally as he did. Rolling her eyes half jokingly.
Slowly, bit by bit, they fell into a pattern. A pattern of meeting and kissing and flirting and growing closer. And no matter how hard she tried to convince herself that this was all for fun and that he was nothing she wanted, he seemed to become more perfect with every second she spent with him. He was gentle and kind. Funny, romantic, flirty, nice. A good listener and he watched movies with her no one was willing to watch with her before. He kissed her in the mornings and he held her at night. He took her out on dates and he made sure that everything was perfect for her. In his mind, a dream girl deserved a dream life. And he was willing to provide it for her no matter the cost.
She didn’t need much, but all his gentle gestures and romantic words. It was too much of all she learned to mistrust. He was a playboy, why wasn’t he acting like one? Why was he acting like this could actually be something?
She still posted more pictures of Oscar than him, even after they started seeing each other regularly. It had kept him occupied now for a while, the thought that maybe the woman he loved didn’t like him as much as she made pretend. Maybe, he wasn’t the one.
The tension in his apartment had never been this high. With her hunched over her computer, editing new shots from the weekend, which she didn’t get finished on the plane or before he left for his quick morning run she would never participate in, he could see Oscar’s smiling face look back. Trophy in his hand and victory in his eyes. He saw her smiling faintly every time she looked from the regulations of the warmth or colour to his face.
He definitely wasn’t the only one.
“You like him more than me, right?”
“What? Who?” She looked up at him. Confused and scared. Caught. He could see it in her eyes. How she prayed he didn’t ask her about the cards which were already laid out on the table, facing him. She prayed for him to see different cards, the wrong ones, but she knew that only one pair existed.
“Oscar. You like him,” he stated. “He has a girlfriend, you know that, right?”
“Of course, I do.” How could she forget?
“Why still sob after him then?” he asked, genuinely curious. He wasn’t as mad at her as she thought he would be. All that he felt was disappointment. In her. In him. In them.
Why still sob after him?
“He’s perfect,” she finally answered. She knew, being this honest would be a possible mistake. But what did she had to lose? Nobody else would know. As much of an asshole Lando could be, he would never betray someone like that, she knew that much. And they barely ever talked, so it wouldn’t be too awkward (she hoped). “He’s a good guy, with no problematic past. He’s nice and he knows how to be nice, which is even better. I mean, who wouldn’t want the nice guy?”
“You don’t care who it would be as long as they were a nice guy?” Lando asked, looking down at his cup.
“I will never get the nice guy,” she said back.
“Instead you took me? The guy willing to date you? You don’t even care about how I feel, do you? All that is important to you is not being alone, you don’t even care how it makes the others around you feel. God, you’re really an awful person, you know that? So self-centred and completely unaware about anyone else.”
“You aren’t really one to talk, Norris. In fact, you should be the one person to understand. Sleeping with random girls to fill in the void of your unbearable loneliness isn’t much better. At least I tried having something that could last.”
“I tried too, with you. I tried having something meaningful because I actually liked you and yes, I slept with many girls in the past, but at least I never lied to them. They always knew where they were at, they knew it was never meant for something more. I wanted something more with you.”
“Yeah, right.” She laughed dryly, rolling her eyes at his manners. He couldn’t be serious. Why would he want something more with her?
“Why can’t you believe me?” He seemed like he wanted to say more in his defence but she cut him off. Scoffing.
“Because, maybe, you are one of the most entitled people I have ever met. You see nothing more in life than adrenaline, in whichever way it’s closest. And when you want something, you get it. You are everything I never wanted in a man.”
“What?” His voice got quiet and suddenly time stopped. He was stuck there now. He was everything she’d never want, but she was everything he desired. She was everything he loved.
“You are arrogant and snobby and put your opinion above anyone else’s. Every time we went out for dinner with the team it was always you who was missing, out in a club or simply at home, probably with some girl too. You don’t care about the team.” Lando started walking around the living room, picking up stuff that was aimlessly laying around. “And when Oscar won, you weren’t even happy for him. I know they fucked up the strategy, I know that you were angry and I understand why. But god, he even felt sorry about winning. He was in pain the whole time - and I know you didn’t know - but maybe stop assuming you know everything about one’s life, because you don’t. You could’ve at least looked happy for him.”
“Yes, I was angry at the team. Yes, I may have been even a bit angry at Osc in that moment. Yes, I didn’t look happy then, because I fucking wasn’t. But after the race, I talked to him and we are great teammates. We talked it all out, I apologized and then I congratulated him.” He put the stuff into her arms, standing in front of her again. “So, maybe you should stop assuming you know anything about what isn’t happening in front of your eyes. Because you don’t.” She looked down at the stuff. It were a few books, a laptop, a shirt that was discarded on the floor the nigh before - all hers. He also brought a suitcase from the bedroom - hers.
“Leave,” Lando said, turning towards the big window, away from her. “Please.”
4 weeks. It had been 4 weeks already and the heavy feeling weighting down their hearts still felt the same. It felt like they could feel the other’s pain too, but both too prideful to admit that things could’ve ended differently. They should’ve ended differently. Nothing was making sense anymore. All of her pictures looked empty now without his face and huge smile covering half of the photo. All of his passions for racing felt dull now without the exciting ping of his phone whenever she posted a new photo dumb, the excitement of looking if there were any pictures of him in them was gone.
Both blamed it on themselves, but neither got over themselves to knock on the others door and apologize or talk it out.
Y/n knew she fucked up. She knew she deserved the reaction she received and she couldn’t blame him for it, having reacted the same when faced with that kind of situation. Though, for someone like Lando, who had to constantly live with the fear and possibility of being used by those people close to him, actually discovering such thing had to be much worse. He only selected a few people he trusted to be this close to him and she fucked it up. She fucked it up the moment she felt the same way he did, finally. The closeness and awareness she always craved to feel for and with someone was finally in the palm of her hands, until she threw it away.
Lando - though he was still disappointed - thought that maybe he could’ve waited with throwing her out of his flat after calming down and collecting his thoughts, though by the time that happened she was already gone, as was every trace of her. Almost every trace, he reminded himself as he looked at the small camera still laying on his bedside table. He hadn’t looked at the SD-card yet, neither did he tell her she forgot it when she left. He forgot to give it to her. But giving it back felt too real.
His eyes flickered from the TV to the camera every few seconds, the plot and characters only being a background story to his misery, a way of pretending to be alright. Although he would never say it out loud, he missed her. Every part of her, he missed it. And oh, how he hated that he did. Missing someone so cruel was the most devastating thing to happen. Missing the one who hurt you was never a good path to follow, but he did. It looked nicer than the shallow, lonesome one he took all these months before her.
From one moment to the next, the camera was in his hands and the SD-card was out of it, connected with his computer. Lando hesitated for a second before clicking on the folder titled with the camera model. It was the same one she took with her when they walked through Barcelona and the pictures on there were mostly, him. She still hated him then, so why did she take so many pictures of his body and face and shadow. There were hundreds of him, on the streets of Barcelona and after the race. Just him. No Oscar, no engineers or random people. The only person clearly visible was him.
Maybe there was more than she ever said.
God, he couldn’t do this now.
The Dutch Grand Prix was nearing. Practice 1 was good, though it could always be second. Racing on the track where his WDC rival won every consecutive race for the last 3 years, he couldn’t help but feel challenged by him every session he climbed into the car that weekend. If he wanted to stand a chance against Max, he needed to win this.
“People would just get more reasons to hate on me if I fuck this up,” Lando continued talking, oblivious to the stare of his best friend until he didn’t receive an answer. Looking up from his water bottle and stop picking on the straw attached to it, he tried catching Max’ gaze, though the Brit wasn’t focused on him or the ramble of words coming from his mouth, he was focused on something else. Someone else.
“I know you said, that she looked good, but man I doubt my knowledge of your taste now,” he answered without giving any context clues. Lando, slow as ever off track, was wildly looking around the area his best friend was looking at. Not finding what he he meant - or rather who he meant - until Oscar stepped aside for a moment.
There she stood, her face shallow, a forced smile on her lips (though it still looked scarily natural) and no life surrounding her once bright eyes. It all seemed empty now. The way she talked without any enthusiasm lingering in her words or the air around her, the way she shook hands so lazy and unmotivated, the way she stood more hunched over than normally, greeting Lily. Oscar’s girlfriend.
A few months - hell, even a few weeks earlier she would’ve lost her mind when the words left Oscar’s mouth after he called for her. “I wanted you to meet my girlfriend, Lily. Lily, that’s Y/n, the photographer you like.”
“Hi,” the young woman smiled brightly, extending her hand with excitement and looking genuinely happy to meet her. “I really love all the pictures you take, whether it be of Oscar, Lando or just the paddock. You really capture everything perfectly and naturally.”
“Thank you,” she said back, not being able to look past the fact that Lily was simply perfect. Not just from the way she talked or looked or was, she was simply perfect for Oscar. The boy looking at her like Y/n had never seen anyone look at someone. His eyes filled with love and passion for her. “Oscar, told me you were studying to become an engineer, that’s so cool. Like, we really need more woman around here, these blokes are just annoying.”
All three of them laughed and though - she hated to say it - it didn’t feel weird. Everything felt natural and nothing hurt. There was no jealousy or conflict building up inside of her, those people were simply great to be around. Especially together. Lily made Oscar talk more, urging him to answer questions or bringing up new conversation topics whenever the talk started to quieten down.
Though with all these distractions around, she still found him more often than she’d like to admit. In the garage, out on track, on the leader board, it was always his name, his face, his car that she seemed drawn to.
Meeting her eyes, Lando quickly turned around again, hitting Max’ leg under the table when he didn’t avert his eyes from her, but instead waved and smiled.
“What are you doing, mate?” Lando asked, slumping deeper and deeper in his seat as he felt her eyes still on the back of his head.
“What? I’m just being nice,” Max answered back, a smug grin on his face.
“Stop being nice to her. Start being nice to me.”
The drivers started getting ready for the qualifying, sitting in the car and waiting for the go. All eyes were glued to any sort of screen there was, whether it be strategy, the cars or simply the screen broadcasting the session.
Y/n and Lily were both stood against a wall in the McLaren garage, waiting for the cars to get out of the box and onto the track. The silence didn’t feel threatening, not after their conversation earlier, but it was still a bit awkward. Both girls were unsure of what to say.
“What happened between you and Lando?” Lily suddenly asked, breaking the silence and Y/n’s stare at the screen and that one car.
She noticed it, of course she did.
“Nothing,” Y/n quickly replied, a tad too quickly she noticed as Lily looked at her with unconvinced eyes.
“If nothing happened, then why are you so awkward around each other and stare at the other all the time?”
“We do not do that.”
“Yes, you do.”
Y/n took a deep breath; how was she gonna get this over with? She wouldn’t tell the Oscar part, obviously. But what other part wouldn’t be necessary and could milder the catastrophe they found themselves in again?
“Lando and I, we never understood each other much,” she started to explain, looking at Lily to see the focused look in her eyes as she listened to every word the girl had to say to give advice in the end. She knew it was needed. “But then, we went on a walk together, both taking pictures and something just clicked, I guess. We found something similar in our very different perspectives of the other. He kind of always seemed to be this fuckboy, dumb idiot that I could never get to like in my head and because of that, I never tried talking to him or anything. But after that walk, we talked more, on the phone and overall. I guess, we started dating sometime then as well. It was only like a month, but we grew really close until I completely fucked it up. We had a fight where he asked me if I even actually liked him and truth been told, I definitely only saw it as a bit of fun at the beginning, but then I started really liking him, but because of a past relation ship - that wasn’t the best example of healthy by far - I had a really hard time accepting that.” Sensing that she was already talking for far too long, she decided to keep the ending short. “I basically told him, that he embodied everything I never wanted in a man and then he threw me out of his flat, rightfully so.”
Lily was silent for a second longer, processing all the new information before she started to say something. “I think you should talk with him about it. From what you’ve told me, you really like him and pushing that feeling away is only gonna make it worse. You’re working with him, you can’t avoid it forever. And even when he doesn’t forgive you, it would still feel better to have it talked out for both of you.”
“Thanks, Lily,” Y/n answered, smiling gratefully at the girl next to her. She was truly a pure angel. “I just don’t think he wants to talk with me at the moment.”
“All you can do is try.”
He was back in again, looking at the data and thinking about how to get the fastest lap and pole. From Q1 into Q2.
And then it happened.
The garage came alive once more, when his name stood on top of all at the end of Q3. Lando Norris got the pole position for the Dutch Grand Prix, and he couldn’t fuck this up. He just couldn’t. All while she was watching from the sidelines once more with a small mile covering her face. Usually she would go out and take pictures for social media, but she wasn’t needed today. She was just another part of the crowd now.
Their hotel rooms were near once more, like they always were. She could hear the quiet music coming from his room as she sat on the balcony in a hoodie and sweats, watching the sun go down, seizing the moment where the clouds were gone from the sky, allowing it to be looked at by her. And him.
Lando watched her sit in peace from his balcony doorway. He wanted to go out, watch it with her, but then he had to face her and he wasn’t too keen on that. Not after the conversation he had with Max and how he overheard Y/n and Lily talking about the situation and her wanting to apologize. He needed to concentrate. But all his eyes were able to find was her.
Retreating back to his room, Lando put on a pair of his running shoes before exiting the room and building completely, letting his thoughts being swept away by the cold air and fresh breeze that flew through the city at this hour. He wouldn’t let her ruin this weekend for him too.
She watched his figure disappear into the night while he ran towards it. Snapping a picture of his back in the process.
Walking down the hall with her face stuck in her phone, Y/n didn’t notice the figure doing the same walking towards her. She didn’t notice him until he let his phone drop to keep her steady by holding her arms, pulling her towards him in the process.
“Uhm, sorry,” she mumbled, bending down to pick up his phone and give it back to him.
“Yeah, thanks,” Lando mumbled in return before he started walking away again. Ignoring her completely.
It was now or never.
“Lando,” she called after him, making him stop dead in his tracks. Fuck this shit, she thought as she took a step towards him and then another just to not having to yell all her feelings at him once more. Just now it’d be the truth. “I’m really sorry.”
“I wasn’t looking where I was going, don’t worry,” he brushed it off, facing her. He knew what she meant and she could see it in his eyes that it did. Part of him wanted for her to say it, but the other part knew he would run back to her immediately. That latter part knew it wouldn’t be wise to keep on listening to her.
“I’m sorry about what I said to you before Spa. I didn’t mean it, I truly didn’t.” She took a deep breath, collecting herself and trying to keep back the tears threatening to spill her every emotion. “I know I was a dick and I’m sorry about that, I know I’ve hurt you and I never wanted to do that.” He scoffed at her answer. “You were never what I wanted in a partner, but you’re everything I need. You’re really funny and charming and nice. I’m sorry that I took so long to notice all that when you were standing right in front of me all the time.”
She didn’t look up at him once while she was talking, her eyes were angled at the ceiling and when she walked past him, she did it in shame. Eyes on the ground and head low. She didn’t look at him, too afraid of his disgusted face she would receive probably.
But all Lando did, was standing there, in the middle of the hall, with his mouth agape like he wanted to say something in return though he was speechless. No words left his mouth until the elevator doors closed and made a ping sound he hasn’t heard in a long time.
“I’m sorry too.”
The garage was filled with anticipation, he could do this. He could win it.
She was ready for it, for the chaos that would break out and for the run needed to make when he actually crossed the chequered flag first and won. If he didn’t crash into a wall, he could do it. He could have a chance at being a world champion.
The chaos that broke out was worse than she expected, but she was there in Miami, so she had been through worse. The moment he was around the last corner, she started moving with the crowd, choosing another way than most of the engineers and team members to celebrate. She was still having to do her job. Photograph him. The moment Lando got out of the car, everyone seemed to explode in cheers and hollows. 20 seconds. Lando had a lead of 20 seconds.
Fucking amazing, Y/n thought, taking one snapshot after the other. Trying to hit all the angles she learned looked good on him over the last year. Or as in his words, simply lovely.
Lando jumped into the crowd, not as aggressively as in Miami, but the crowd felt the same nonetheless. Wild, ecstatic, prideful. He was so happy that, when he looked at her, he smiled, one finger next to his face and smiling at her. Not at the camera, at her. Y/n stood close enough to see the look in his eyes, he was forgiving her. After all she’d done to him, he was forgiving her and smiling while doing so.
And then he walked away, towards the cool down room, leaving her eyes to flicker down at the screen like she’d done so many times before. This was it. This was what she was hoping to receive, but better. She hoped for a pad on the back and a small smile, but when he looked at her, for a moment, it felt like nothing between them changed. It was still them, being reckless and in love.
The whole team gathered in front of the garage, celebrating the win like they’d always do. A big smile on Lando’s face as he sat in front of the sign with his P1 written on it, the trophies for him and constructor in front of them. The whole team was cheering and the moment the click on the camera went off, the champagne was popped.
It was more an instinct than part of a plan, though the moment Lando started to run away from the sticky liquid, running into her direction to shield her from the champagne. Hugging her waist and bending the part of his upper body what wasn’t already protecting her over her head to protect her hair. He felt her giggles against his chest. The champagne against his back got less and when it did near nothing, he took her hand in his and started running off from the crowd and into the back of the garage.
Letting his back fall against one of the walls, he pulled her in by her waist once more. Pressing their bodies together so they were breathing as one. Their chest heaving up and down from the adrenaline at the same time, both too excited still to process what they were even doing. The people outside were still heard cheering but to them that meant nothing. Especially not when one adventure swept right into the next one.
His lips crashing on hers like they were a lifetime separated. Like nothing they’d done before felt quiet like this and it didn’t. This was more. This was everything.
“I’m sorry for how I reacted and I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything yesterday,” he panted against her lips. “But I swore to myself that when I won today I’m gonna listen to the immature part of me and try to make you mine for real this time.”
“I just wanna be yours.”
#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando x reader#lando norris#dutch grand prix 2024#f1 fandom#f1 grid#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 x y/n#f1#formula 1 x you#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#formula one x reader#oscar piastri#slim pickins#sabrina carpenter short n sweet#short n sweet sabrina carpenter#short n sweet
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Out of the Pages
➳ Paige Bueckers x reader
➳ Navigation Post - here!
➳ introvert x extrovert - worlds meet
➳ Pure fluff, not proof read, idk guys, it's been a while. ➳ reader really is just me...
➳ Word count: 3.1k
The soft afternoon sun filters through the curtains of the small apartment you share with your girlfriend in downtown Storrs, casting a warm, golden light over the neat rows of books on your beloved bookshelf. Through the open window, you can hear the people talking on the street as they embrace the last warm days before it eventually gets colder.
October is halfway over, and it won’t be long until the basketball season starts back up again, leaving Paige and her teammates in a constant state of excitement as they are making the last preparations. But in this apartment, curled up in your favorite armchair, you are at peace, absorbed in the pages of your book as you try to solve the case alongside the main character—a stark contrast to the lively chaos your girlfriend thrives in. It’s that very difference that makes your relationship work so well, despite what other people say.
In one of the restaurants close by a glass is dropped, pulling your focus from the book. A quick glance at the clock tells you that it shouldn’t be too much longer until Paige comes home. Practice ended 20 minutes ago, but most days she stayed a bit later, getting some more shots in, trying to perfect them to the best of her abilities, before she finally walked the 5-minute way back to your joint home.
With a sigh you close your book, realizing that you should probably get a start on dinner. You had always been the kind of person who found joy in the quieter moments in life. Reading a good mystery book and savoring the stillness that came with an afternoon without classes. Paige thrived in the energy of the crowd and the adrenaline of the game, while you cherished the simple things. A nice, hot, cup of tea. The feeling of a brand new book in your hands. Rain hitting your window in the fall. Knowing that she will walk through your front door in a couple of minutes, happy to fall into your comforting arms and tell you everything that happened.
But even with you being a more private person, Paige loved you loudly. Nearly every second day she posts a pic of you on her Story. Sometimes she posts little videos of how you’re dancing around in the kitchen with her or how her teammates are interacting with you. In interviews, it’s hard to get her to stop talking about you, because no matter what the topic is, she is guaranteed to talk about you. And her fans love every second of it, and they love every bit of you. While she chases perfection on the court, you find perfection in the little things—in the way her eyes light up when she talks about her day, in the quiet moments when you simply exist together, side by side. And everyone loves watching you two be in love.
“Hi, Lovie!” Not once in your life has Paige walked through your front door quietly. So just like most days, the door flings open, as your girlfriend grins at you. “Oh, you look good, Baby!” And just like most days, she pulls the ‘o’s’ in good as long as she can. “Love, I’m wearing a sweater and shorts.” You deadpan at her while you drain the pasta and pour it into a pan. “I know Baby. But it’s my sweater and those shorts… Yeah, I don’t think I need to say it.” Warm arms wrap themselves around you as your girlfriend clings to you, looking over your shoulder and watching you finish the sauce. “There is no protein in there, Baby.” With a scoff you shrug her off, pushing her towards the bathroom. “Wash your hands, dinner is ready.”
A soft kiss was pressed against your cheek as Paige joined you at the table. “Thank you for cooking Ma.” With a soft hum you lean into her touch, a small smile playing at your lips as you reply, "Anything for you, Love." The blonde lets out a satisfied moan as she takes the first bite, “This is incredible.” As quickly as you can you pull a face, “There is no protein in there, baby”, mocking what she said earlier to you, in your best ‘Paige voice’. One of her eyebrows shoots up, daring you to test her again.
As the playful banter continues between the two of you, Paige's eyes gleam with a mischievous spark. "You know," she says, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms, "You can't stay cooped up in this apartment forever. How about coming out with me this weekend?"
You give her a knowing smile, already sensing where this conversation is headed. "Oh, Paige, you know I’d rather spend my time at home." She pouts dramatically, “But baby, it’s not just some loud party. It’s gonna be fun! Just a little get-together with the team and some friends. Nothing too crazy, I promise. Azzi told me about it.”
You roll your eyes affectionately, “I’ve heard that before. And I also remember how we ended up staying until 2 a.m. last time because you couldn't stop dancing.” Paige laughs, a sound like music filling the room, one of your favorite sounds there is. "Okay, fair point, but this time, I swear, it’s different. It's going to be relaxed—chill vibes, a few drinks, good music. Just a chance to hang out together."
You look at her skeptically, already shaking your head. “I don’t know, Paige… I’m really not the party type.” Your girlfriend leans in closer, her grin widening. "I know that, babe. And that’s exactly why I think you should come, just this once. It could be good for you to step out of your comfort zone. Who knows? You might even enjoy it." You laugh softly, but the idea still feels foreign to you. “I think my comfort zone is a pretty nice place, actually.”
“Come on,” Paige nudges you gently. “Just think about it, okay?”
You nod, more to humor her than out of any real intention of agreeing. "I’ll think about it," you say, and Paige gives you a triumphant little cheer, knowing that everything but a ‘no’ is a victory.
Over the next few days, Paige doesn't let it go. She brings it up casually while you’re both cooking dinner, or when you're curled up on the couch together. “You know, they’ll have those little sliders you love at the party,” she mentions offhandedly one evening. Another day, she adds, “It could be like a mini-date night… just us two, but, like, with other people.”
You can’t help but smile at her persistence, though you keep gently declining each time. “I’m really not sure, Paige,” you respond, even as she keeps layering on reasons and reassurances, each argument filled with her enthusiasm.
Finally, one evening, as you’re sitting together watching a show, Paige takes a more serious tone. “Listen, love,” she says, turning towards you and taking your hand. “I know you’re not into these kinds of things, and I respect that. I love that you’re different. But I think it could be fun for us to do something a little out of the ordinary… together. Just this once.”
You tilt your head, considering her words, but still unsure. “And if I don’t have a good time?”
Paige smiles, her eyes soft. “Then we leave. No questions asked. I’ll stay by your side the entire time, I promise. I just… I just want to see you in my world, even if it’s just for one night. We can leave whenever you want. I promise you won’t be alone in it. I’ll be by your side the whole time, and Nika is gonna be there, and Azzi and KK, the whole team really. You love them! Deal?”
Her sincerity touches you, and you feel a small tug at your heart. You know how much this means to her, how much she wants to share every aspect of her life with you, just as she proudly shares you with the world.
With a sigh, you finally relent. “Alright, fine. I’ll go. But I’m holding you to that promise. One step out of line, and we’re out.” Paige’s face lights up with a brilliant smile, and she throws her arms around you in a tight hug. “Deal, baby. And trust me, it’ll be fun. You’ll see.” You smile back, feeling the warmth of her excitement radiating off her.
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she litters small kisses all over your face, as the blonde just can’t help herself, hiding her face in the crook of your neck. “If you hadn’t said yes today, I wasn’t gonna go either.” The jerk of your head was exactly what she had expected after telling you her little secret. At your whines, she could only laugh, “Nuh-uh. you said yes. Now We’re goin'!”
The night of the party arrives faster than you expected, and you find yourself standing in front of the mirror, adjusting your clothes nervously. Paige, ever the enthusiast, had picked out a comfortable yet stylish outfit for you, something that she assured would help you “blend in but still look cute." You catch her reflection in the mirror as she comes up behind you, wrapping her arms around your chest, her smile warm and encouraging. “You look perfect,” she says, and you know she means it.
Your nerves build with every meter on the way to the party. The streets are busier than usual for a usual Saturday night, and you can already hear the faint thrum of music coming from a few blocks away. Paige’s right hand found its usual place, your thigh, as she rubbed comforting circles. “Remember,” she murmurs softly, loud enough that you can hear her over the open windows that let in the cooling evening air, “we can leave whenever you want. This is just for fun, okay?”
You nod, trying to take a deep breath and push down the flutter of anxiety in your chest. The music grows louder as you approach the house, the bass thumping through the walls as the blonde parks the car. Laughter and chatter spill out into the street, a warm glow radiating from the windows. Paige squeezes your hand one last time before opening her car door, jogging around, and helping you out of your seat.
Inside, the atmosphere is exactly as you imagined—people are scattered around, chatting in groups, dancing, or playing games. You immediately feel a wave of discomfort wash over you. It’s not just the noise, but the sheer number of people crammed into the small space. Paige senses your hesitation and keeps you close, her arm slipping around your waist protectively.
“Hey, it’s okay,” she whispers, her lips close to your ear. “Just breathe. We’ll find a quieter corner.” She guides you gently through the crowd, smiling and waving at friends as you pass by. You catch snippets of conversations and see faces turning your way, but Paige’s presence keeps you grounded. She introduces you to a few people, all of them friendly enough, but the whirlwind of names and faces makes your head spin.
How does this girl know everyone?
Finally, you reach a quieter spot near the kitchen, where the noise is a bit more subdued. Paige grabs two drinks, handing one to you. “Here, something light,” she says with a wink. “No pressure to drink if you don’t want to, but it might help you relax.”
You take a tentative sip, and Paige’s smile widens. “See? Not so bad, right?” You give her a small smile in return, still feeling a bit overwhelmed but comforted by her presence. For a few minutes, things seem to settle. Paige chats animatedly with a few friends who come by to say hello, and you listen quietly, feeling a little more at ease just being by her side.
But then, KK and Ice, two of Paige’s closest friends and teammates, approach with wide grins. “Paige!” KK exclaims, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “We’re about to start a game of beer pong. You in?”
Paige glances at you, “Nah, I’m good right where I am,” she says firmly, smiling at her friends. “I’m here to spend time with my girl tonight.”
KK raises an eyebrow, her grin widening. “Your girl can play too, you know,” she teases, glancing over at you with a playful challenge in her eyes. “Come on, it’s just a game. We promise not to make it too competitive… unless you want us to.” Ice laughs and nods, chiming in, “Yeah, it’ll be fun! You’ve got Paige on your team, so you’re already halfway to winning!”
Paige looks at you, her eyes searching yours for a moment. She can see the hesitation written all over your face, the way your fingers lightly grip her arm, not wanting to let go. You give her a small, almost imperceptible shake of your head, and she instantly understands.
She turns back to KK and Ice, flashing a charming smile. “You know what? I think I’m gonna sit this one out tonight,” she says smoothly. “We’re just here to chill and have a quiet night. Maybe next time?”
KK chuckles, catching the subtle glance between you and Paige. “Alright, alright, we get it. No pressure,” she teases with a grin. “You two are inseparable, huh?” Paige just shrugs, her grin widening as she pulls you closer to her side. “Can you blame me?” she quips back, her tone light but sincere.
KK and Ice exchange a knowing look, teasing her with playful jabs. “Oh, come on, Paige, you’re whipped,” KK laughs, but there’s no malice in it—just teasing their friend.
“Damn right, I am,” Paige grins, pulling you closer. “And proud of it.”
They laugh and shake their heads. "Alright, alright," Ice says, “we’ll catch you later then.” They wander off, leaving you and Paige in your little corner.
As they wander off to join the others, Paige turns to you, her smile softening. “I’ve got you, always,” she murmurs, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You feel the tension in your shoulders ease a bit, and you nod. “Thank you,” you whisper, and Paige leans in to press a gentle kiss to your temple. “No big deal Ma.,” she replies softly.
“Tell me about your book, baby. What happened in the last chapter? Did Pip figure it out?”
You can’t help but smile at her genuine interest. Paige has heard you ramble on about countless books, and every time she listens as if it’s the most important thing in the world. "Well," you start, your voice a little shaky but gaining confidence as you go on, "Pip thinks she has it all figured out, but there’s this new twist... the suspect has an alibi that throws her entire theory out the window."
Paige’s eyes widen dramatically. “No way!” she exclaims, leaning in closer as if this story was the most gripping thing she'd ever heard. “I was sure she had it this time. What’s she going to do now?”
You laugh softly at her enthusiasm, feeling more at ease. "She’s back to square one, basically. But she’s determined to find a new lead, and I think she’s getting closer to the truth."
Paige nods, fully absorbed in your words, her blue eyes fixed on you with a look of admiration that makes your heart flutter. For a moment, the noise and energy of the party fade away, and it’s just the two of you, sharing this quiet little world together. It’s these moments that remind you why you took the chance to come here tonight—for her, for this.
Just then, from across the room, Azzi catches sight of Paige and nudges Nika, who follows her gaze. They both burst into giggles, catching the attention of KK and Ice, who turns to see what’s so amusing.
“Look at her,” Azzi whispers to the group, a grin spreading across her face. “She’s got the puppy dog eyes again.”
KK snickers, “She’s totally whipped. She looks like she’s watching a sunrise or something.”
Nika laughs quietly, nodding. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look at anyone like that,” she adds, her voice filled with a touch of wonder. “It’s actually really cute.”
Ice chuckles, shaking her head. “That’s love, right there,” she says with a smile. “The girl’s completely gone for her.”
Meanwhile, Paige remains blissfully unaware of her friends’ teasing, still fully focused on you, hanging on to every word as you continue to tell her about the next chapter. Her hand finds yours, squeezing it gently, her thumb tracing light circles over your skin.
After a few moments, you catch sight of her friends watching from across the room, and you feel a blush creep up your cheeks. “Paige,” you whisper, nudging her slightly. “Your friends are staring.”
Paige glances over and catches their teasing expressions. She rolls her eyes with a grin, then turns back to you, unabashed. “Let them stare,” she says softly, her voice filled with warmth. “I’ve got everything I want right here.”
You feel your heart swell with affection as Paige leans in and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. The party continues around you, but it feels like the noise has dimmed just a little, leaving a bubble of peace around the two of you.
Eventually, the evening winds down, and as the crowd begins to thin, you realize that Paige is right. It wasn’t so bad—actually, it was more than that. You had fun in your own way, simply by being there with her, sharing in her world.
As you make your way back to the car, hand in hand, Paige looks at you with a triumphant smile. “See?” she says, her eyes sparkling with mischief and joy. “Told you it would be fun.” You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling, too. “Okay, okay,” you admit. “Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”
As you reach the car, she stops and turns to face you, her expression turning sincere. “Thank you,” she whispers. “For tonight, and for always being my safe place.” You lean in and kiss her softly, your heart full. “I love you, Paige,” you murmur against her lips. “Anywhere with you is where I want to be.”
And with that, you both get into the car and drive back home together, knowing that whether in a crowded party or a quiet apartment, you have everything you need as long as you have each other.
#Paige Bueckers x Reader#Paige Bueckers imagine#Paige Bueckers fanfic#Paige Bueckers x you#UConn Women’s Basketball#womens basketball#uconn wbb#uconn x reader#wnba#paige bueckers
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enough for you
wanda maximoff x fem!reader, natasha romanoff x fem!reader
summary: in which your girlfriend natasha makes you feel like you're never enough. (based off enough for you by olivia rodrigo)
word count: 2069
tags: angst, toxic relationship, insecurity, arguments, cheating, reader feels unloved (and unworthy of love), poor reader can never catch a break, cryptic mention of reader's mother being dead, self- hatred, reader's so sad, nat sucks (like a lot), but wanda comes through at the end like she always does and they have a little meet-cute :), i wrote this in one sitting while listening to enough for you on a loop
part two: so american
You sigh as you try to do your makeup in your mirror as flawlessly as possible. Every blemish or mark on your face needed to be covered up so you could look perfect for Nat. You were desperate to measure up to the gorgeous women Nat has dated before you and for that, you needed to look absolutely pristine.
In the past year, you’ve done so many new things you weren’t fond of just for Nat to like you. From nearly destroying every single muscle in your body at the gym just to measure up to her rigorous exercise routine, all the way to learning how to cook and bake every single one of her favorite foods until it was all you two ever ate despite your dislike for the majority of her preferred meals, you’ve tried so hard to be everything that Nat liked so she wouldn’t get sick of you.
You frown slightly, Nat has never once acknowledged your kind gestures and actions, nor reciprocated them.
“I’m just not the compliment type, Y/N, just drop it,” she had told you one time when you had confronted her on why she never acknowledged your efforts.
You bit the inside of your cheek and nodded wordlessly.
***
“I made you your coffee,” you told Nat as she entered the kitchen in the morning. 2 creams, no sugar, just how you like it.
Nat nodded and took the mug from you, sitting down at the table and barely paying any attention to your gesture.
Clearing your throat, you tell her, “I also got up early this morning to buy tickets for us to go to that band I know you’ve been wanting to go to for a while.” You cross your fingers behind your back, hoping for her to tell you you’re good enough for her just this once.
“Sorry, babe, Carol already got them for me,” she responds, your heart falling to your stomach. Putting her empty mug in the sink, she plants a kiss on your lips. “Besides, you don’t even know the lyrics to their songs.” She leaves you on your own in the kitchen.
I know all of them by heart because of you.
***
“Hey, Y/N?” Nat asks you one night on the couch.
“Yeah?” you respond, turning to face your girlfriend.
“I don’t really feel like myself these days.” Nat pauses. “Do you know what might help?” Despite the content of her question, you still smile, because this was your chance. This was your chance to show her that you might truly be worth loving.
“First, I’m always here if you need to talk,” you say softly, but Nat makes no sound of acknowledgment next to you. “And second, make your own decisions you believe will be beneficial to you, just for yourself, and do the things that bring you fulfillment,” you explain.
Nat finally turns and looks at you thoughtfully. “How did you figure that one out?”
“I read your self-help books,” you reply sheepishly. I read all of them.
“Wow, you’re pretty smart,” Nat replies, going back to the movie the two of you were watching together.
And you smile for the rest of the night because that’s the first compliment Nat has given you since you first started dating a year ago.
***
You and Nat had a fight. It isn’t the first time, but it’s the first time it’s hurt you this much as you truly take in your current reality.
You’re crying in your shared room, Nat leaving you to go out for drinks you assume.
Earlier tonight, you made the stupid mistake of asking why she was never there for you, it was during the heat of the moment, but your outrage felt justified due to the fact that she missed your award ceremony for your article in medical research (the third time this year she’s missed one of them but you did your best to forgive her before this), and she had simply scoffed at you telling you that it wasn’t even a big deal anyways.
But this one was a big deal to you.
It was research that could have saved your mother.
“I nearly get killed every time I go out on the job, Y/N! Some stupid neuroscience article is nothing compared to that!” she yelled at you, exhausted from her day at work.
Your eyes flooded with hurt as Nat’s filled with regret.
“Wait, I’m sorry,” she said remorsefully.
The first sign of remorse she’s ever shown you.
“It’s fine, Nat,” you reply, trying to keep your tears at bay. You weren’t even in neuro, but that didn’t matter. Not to her. “Just go out, like you wanted.” You wave her off to go upstairs to your room.
“Y/N, wait-”
You didn’t listen, shutting the door before collapsing to your knees as you started to sob.
Stupid, emotional, and obsessive. That was what you were.
***
Nat has been home late for the past few nights, your worry increasing with each passing day. It’s probably something to do with work, but something feels off.
“Where were you?” you ask Nat as she enters the front door. “I was worried sick.”
“I’m fine, Y/N. I just got held up at work,” Nat doesn’t make eye contact with you.
“Oh, okay,” you say softly, feeling oddly small compared to your girlfriend. “Couldn’t you have called?”
“For god’s sake, Y/N, my phone was dead. God, you’re so clingy,” Nat bites back, walking past you to go straight up to your room and slamming the door.
You sigh, heading for the guest room since you know Nat won’t let you sleep next to her tonight.
Suddenly, you hear Nat’s phone go off. And you realize that she had left it by the front door.
Picking it up, you notice, that it’s at nearly full charge.
Your brows furrow as you see the message your girlfriend received.
Carol: Had a great time tonight, Nat.
You don’t stop crying until the sun rises, one phrase ringing through your head the whole night.
What are you doing wrong?
***
“Am I not as interesting as the girls she’s dated before me?” you cry to Yelena as she rubs your back in comfort.
“My sister is an idiot,” Yelena mutters, seeing how your relationship with Nat is tearing you apart.
“What?” you choke out through your tears.
“I think you love her more than anyone she’s ever had, and she couldn’t care less.”
“She’s breaking my heart, Lena,” you sniffle. “But more than that, she’s breaking me.”
You cry harder into your best friend’s arms.
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” you sob into her shoulder.
***
“Where were you?” you ask Nat as she comes home past midnight once again.
“I was at the compound, we had a villain that got out so we had to take care of him.”
You nod, but Tony already sent you the camera footage for tonight after you told him about your issues with your girlfriend and you know she was with Carol.
“Are you sure?” you inquired.
“Yes, Y/N,” Nat says exasperated. “For god’s sake, why are you never satisfied with whatever I do?” she says walking past you.
“I don’t think that’s true,” you tell Nat from behind her.
“What?” she says, turning around to face you.
“You’re never satisfied with me,” you state. “The only thing I’ve ever wanted is to be good enough for you, but nothing I ever do for you seems to make you happy.”
Nat scoffs. “That’s ridiculous.”
“I know you were with Carol tonight,” you reveal.
“No, I wasn’t,” she denies.
“Tony sent me the footage, I know there was no villain. I know you’re cheating on me, and I know that you never cared about me,” you state.
“Fine, whatever, I’m going to bed,” Nat says, completely disregarding you and everything she’s done to destroy the person you once were.
“We’re done, Nat,” you tell her as she walks up the stairs to your once-shared room.
Nat waves you off like you’ve never meant anything to her.
And maybe you never did.
***
“I loved her so much, I still do, and all she did was use me, then throw me away like I meant nothing to her,” you tell Yelena at the drink bar. Nat was away on a mission, so Yelena thought it might be fun for you to join her at one of the Avengers parties.
“Don’t worry Y/N,” Yelena tells you. “I could tell her to apologize to you, but clearly she’s got some issues to figure out within herself before she can resolve any outside.”
You nod wordlessly.
What Yelena says then surprises you, “But honestly? She should be the one feeling sorry for herself.” You look at her curiously. “Someday, there will be someone out there who will love you as deeply as you love them.”
“I don’t know, Lena,” you say softly. “Nat was everything to me.”
“Someday, Y/N, you’ll be everything to somebody else.”
***
1 year later
You’re running late for work, rushing out the door of the coffee shop, and you don’t notice the fact that you’ve bumped into someone until your coffee spills all over the floor, making you gasp.
“Oh, my god, I’m so sorry,” you tell the figure in front of you, and suddenly you freeze, at the sight of her glimmering emerald green eyes. Like Nat’s, but eternally softer. Eternally more curious.
“Oh, no worries,” she says with a smile, pulling a few napkins out of her purse.
“I didn’t spill any on you, did I?” you ask the woman, your mind a mess due to your embarrassment at spilling your coffee, but still quite fuzzy at the sight of her undeniable beauty.
If you weren’t so much of a useless homosexual, you would bend down and help her clean the coffee she’s currently wiping away. Much like how she’s wiping away your ability to form any sort of cohesive thought.
“No, I’m ok,” she laughs, standing up once more once all the coffee’s gone. “C’mon, let me buy you a new one.”
Your eyes widen. “Oh, no, it’s not a big deal. Besides, it’s completely my fault for bumping into you-”
“I want to,” she cuts off with a soft smile.
“Oh,” you say softly. “Okay,” you finally resign to the comforting look she gives you.
“Let me just make a quick phone call,” you let her know, hoping she doesn’t leave.
“Take your time,” she assures.
You smile gratefully.
Your phone call was to call in sick to work for the second time in your life –you didn’t have a busy day today and you were running late anyways– and it was all to spend time with a pretty girl.
On any other day you’d probably laugh at how pathetic you were, but this woman made you feel an odd sense of uncertainty within your life.
Like nothing had ever made sense before her.
Once you hang up the phone, you turn to see the woman already standing there, a white to-go coffee cup with a bit of steam escaping the spout.
“Here’s your coffee,” the woman hands you the cup with a big smile as you pocket your phone. You inspect the label, your mouth parting slightly in shock once you see all of your preferred customizations. Done perfectly.
“How do you know my coffee order?” you ask.
“I took the label off the old one,” she says, showing you the sticker in the palm of her hand. “Want to sit?” She points to the array of round tables within the cafe.
“I don’t even know you,” you say slowly. I called in sick to work for you, it’s a little too late for that.
The brunette woman laughs before holding out her hand for you to shake. “Hi, I’m Wanda,” she says.
“Y/N,” you respond, shaking her outstretched hand as your face flushes slightly at its softness.
“See? Now we know each other,” Wanda says cheekily.
You nod with a shy smile, following her to the table in the back as the two of you settle down into a small conversation.
Somehow, the two of you spend the rest of the day talking and laughing, and you think it might be the best day of your life.
Little do you know, Wanda thinks so too.
part two: so american
#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda x reader#wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff fanfiction#wandamaximoff#wanda maximoff fluff#marvel mcu#mcu#wanda x you#wanda x y/n#wanda marvel#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader
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talk me down
3.7k / therapist!joel x f!reader
← masterlist
Summary: You’re finally ready to sit down and discuss your obvious daddy issues. Your therapist, Joel, has his methods.
Warnings/Information/Heads-Up: MA 18+ (minors DNI), NO OUTBREAK, abuse of position (therapist!joel), discussions of parental divorce, daddy issues, praise kink, daddy kink, pet names, cursing/swearing, age gap, handjob (for a lil bit?) unprotected p in v, cockwarming (if you squint?), breathplay (I’m running out of breath typing all this are we good to go?)
A/N: this is my first fic wow how exciting, I can’t thank my new friends enough for the brainstorming and helping make it to tumblr so let’s just get on with it yeah? tell me if you want more, my requests are open x
“Oooh, fuck,” you gasp, your head coming back up to watch as his hand disappeared under the drape of your skirt. Suddenly you felt him cup your aching mound, taking in a short breath at the feeling of finally getting some much-desired pressure down there. “So fuckin’ wet… were you this wet during our whole session, kitten?” He asked. It was sick and twisted, you knew it was. That’s why you let out a shameful little nod, your legs wanting to clench around his hand there. He let out a disgusted scoff, you deserved it. You wanted to fuck your therapist.
“So what brings you here today?”
Your eyes shyly evade his, instead choosing to graze over the belongings of your new therapist’s office. It looked like a small library the way books were lined up and stacked on the shelves. The desk behind him was a dark oak, and everything had its place, not a pen out of line. After you deliberately ignore his question, he probes you again.
“It says on your intake form that you have... A distant relationship with your father due to your parents' divorce. Is that something you want to talk about with me today?”
His voice is sweet like honey, but you’re the only one dripping. You failed during your extended research on therapists to check his picture because you had no idea you signed up for someone so fucking handsome.
Your jaw was tight as you clamped your legs tighter together one draped over the other, trying to conceal your growing arousal. Talk, or he’ll think you’re mute!
“Yes.” You say, clearing your throat as you readjust your skirt over your lap, tugging at the hem.
You confide in Joel about the hardships of your parents growing up. The house was never quiet, always fighting, tearing each other down, and it just wasn’t healthy. You thought you’d thank the lord the day they filed for a divorce. You didn’t expect to lose the relationship you had with your father in the midst of it all.
You were still young, trying to grow up and learn, his absence mattered to you, even if it didn’t to your mother. He came around a lot at first. He’d pick you up from school and steal you away for a few hours, getting ice cream to celebrate your reunion with him.
But then, he got a new girlfriend. You weren’t sure how she managed to replace both you and your mother, but she did. You saw him less, he started not meeting your expectations. Soon, he became a weird distant memory. Now, as a young adult, you combat all the unjust things the wake of his departure caused. You couldn’t bear the thought of dating someone your age. Everyone was young and immature, asking for nudes over text after the first date if they even got your phone number at all. Now it was all just over social media or dating apps.
“Older men are just more... Refined. They have their priorities and goals, and they’re like... Actually accomplishing shit. Guys my age are just..” You paused, your eyes meeting his own to fill in the gaps.
“.. Not meeting your expectations?” Joel asked, his pen clutched in his hand as he scribbled something in his notepad.
“Right.” You let out breathily, your eyes falling to the chest hair you could see exposed by his button-up shirt.
This was a perfect example because look at Dr. Joel Miller! His Ph.D. decorated the wall with numerous other accolades on his shelves, so you knew he was smart. Being a therapist made him a good listener, you’d never have to feel like you were the therapist to a frat guy again.
You let out an involuntary whimper, a white-hot flash soaring through the pit of your stomach. You were dripping for him, and you could feel it against your clenched thighs.
“I know talking about these topics is difficult, but you’re doing a good job.” He praised you as you felt your chest and cheeks flush red with his attention.
Your breathing was staggered, you needed to release the tension between your legs desperately.
“You-- uhm, you think I’m doing a good job?”
His eyes flashed up to you with the question, something dark and tantalizing about the way he looked over you now. It was like a predator meeting prey the way his eyes began to rake over you.
Your arousal was obvious in the way your knee anxiously bounced up and down, continuing to readjust in your seat, begging for him to tell you that your time with him was up so you could go home and use your vibrator on your clit, thinking about Dr. Joel Miller between your legs.
You watched as he stood up from his chair across from you, your eyes tracking him as he nodded slowly. He clasped his hands behind his back, his strong biceps fighting the material of his shirt for dominance. The hand closest to you came down and did a delicate sweep around the rim of the chair you were sitting in.
“You’re doing great, baby girl.” He praised again, stopping to stand next to you. You were eye-level to his waist, your lips parting at the sight of the bulge in his pants. Oh, fuck me, so that’s what he’s been hiding behind his notepad.
His hand gently reached out to you, two straight fingers under your chin as he tilted you up to look at him. Your long eyelashes batted at him, teeth piercing down into your bottom lip. You let out an involuntary sigh as his hand moved up your cheek, bringing you in to rest against his thigh.
He was warm, and he smelled like Old Spice, god, you could swear it was the same one your dad used to use. You whimper at the thought, digging your face gently further into his protection. You felt his hand gently caress the back of your head, stroking back your hair from your face.
You wanted him, your pussy wanted him, and the throbbing need for his attention and affection was incurable. You began to press kisses into the material of his pants, losing all pride as you fell to your knees in front of him and palmed your hand over his growing erection.
You braved looking up at him, his face watching you in adoration, like he was proud of you.
“Is this what you want? I’ll do whatever you want.” You say meekly, desperate to please.
“You know what I think you need?” He asks, his voice dropped an octave, and it was making you purr. He was more sultry now, his hands finding yours and guiding you up off of the floor. You finally shake your head, your hands gently moving up his chest and feeling his toned pecs and broad shoulders.
Seeing him this close made your heart flutter. He was so handsome, so grown. His wispy curls were adorning the same salt and pepper as his beard. He had worn lines by his eyes and on his forehead, his curious mind must always be causing his brows to furrow. He had you breathless at the mouth and achingly wet down below.
“I think you need me to take care of you. Is that what you want, baby? Someone to show you how much they care about you? Someone to be where you need them most?” His strong hand is traveling down your front now, Joel’s pointer finger curling into the front of your skirt. Your lips part as he tugs so hard that you’re falling into him, your small hands clutching the landscape of his biceps.
“Yes-- fuck, please Joel, yes.” You nearly beg. Be there for me, be inside me.
He let out a heavy grunt of satisfaction, closing the distance between you as he cradled your face in his big hands and connected your lips. You felt safe, letting your walls fall down as he took care of you.
You melted in his hold, Joel’s tongue carefully gliding over your bottom one in a request for you to part yours for him. You followed his lead, a whimpering moan leaving you as you felt his tongue invade your mouth. He was moving you backward methodically until the back of your thighs hit the desk you previously admired. Your hips shook the frame, hearing pens and some papers clatter to the floor.
You felt overwhelmingly hot, you needed to shed some layers. Like the mind reader he was, Joel’s hands moved down to the hem of your top, breaking your heated kiss to discard the material in his way.
He generously cupped your breasts held away by your bra, another desperate moan leaving you as you watched him through hooded eyes admire your body. His hands were quick to settle on your hips, fingertips burning into your skin as he lifted you up onto the desk with ease. Fuck, he had the kind of strength that looked effortless.
Joel was taking charge, and it was so nice, he knew exactly what he wanted to do, and you didn’t have to worry about anything. His legs nudged your own open, cool air finally greeting your needy pussy. The sensation had your head falling back, accidentally breaking your kiss once more.
“Oooh, fuck,” you gasp, your head coming back up to watch as his hand disappeared under the drape of your skirt. Suddenly you felt him cup your aching mound, taking in a short breath at the feeling of finally getting some much-desired pressure down there.
“So fuckin’ wet… were you this wet during our whole session, kitten?” He asked. It was sick and twisted, you knew it was. That’s why you let out a shameful little nod, your legs wanting to clench around his hand there.
He let out a disgusted scoff, you deserved it. You wanted to fuck your therapist.
“You want daddy to take care of that for you with his cock?” His foul words had you at a loss of your own, your jaw slack as he pressed his hips into yours and you could feel his dick pressed right up against your pussy.
“Take daddy’s belt off.” He grumbled his orders, a quick nod leaving you. You didn’t want to waste his time.
“Yes.” You whimpered.
“Yes, what?” His voice was stern and articulate, making you bend your will as his close proximity flooded your senses. You couldn’t find his belt soon enough. You popped the button of his jeans and nearly tore off the zipper at his ask.
“Yes, daddy.” You whimper, a greedy smile on your lips to see you earned his favor. He adoringly cupped one side of your cheek as both of your heads rested against one another’s to watch you pull down his dark briefs.
He let out a strained grunt at the release, his flesh going to slap against his tanned stomach. He was already unbuttoning his shirt as you made a fist around him, watching his face to see how he liked it. Too fast? A little slower? Too rough... You paused and spat down on him, your eyes darting back up to his as he let out a satisfied sigh. Let me do it perfectly for you, Joel.
“So good for me.” He purred, his thumb brushing down the slope of your nose and over your swollen bottom lip that you had bruised from biting down so hard on it. He pushed the tip of his thumb past your lips, the intrusion a surprise but you eagerly sucked to appease him. The action made him swell in your hand to fullness, even beginning to feel too heavy in your hand as you continued to work over him.
“Is this all for me?” You asked eagerly, a sweet smile gracing your face.
You watched as he leaned in, your eyelashes fluttering closed as he came to press his warm lips against the crown of your head. “All for you, baby girl.” He mumbled against your forehead.
“Oh,” you let out in a sweet surprised little moan, your hand working over him eagerly faster. You didn’t care if you got off at this point, as long as he did.
“Lie back, baby.” His voice was rocky like gravel, you could already see his chest heaving at the attention of your hands. You did as he asked, but not before he unclipped your bra so your tits were on full show for him.
You reached one of your hands back, already gripping the edge of the table as you braced yourself for him. He was so large, easily the largest you had ever been with. You wanted to feel every inch of man that he was inside of your throbbing cunt.
Your skirt was merely an obstacle in his way, watching him toss it up to show your lacey panties underneath. You bit down on your lip with a wide smirk on your face, he really liked the lace.
“So fuckin pretty,” he admired, your hands coming to rest over his own, your nails gently grazing down his forearms to his fingers. His pointer finger and thumb grazed over the soaked material, admiring how he could see your pretty pussy underneath it. The lace was so dainty and fragile in his hands, he could just--
You gasp as his large hands rip the delicate lace right open, a messy opening of broken threads but now, he had unlimited access to your sex. He was so strong, you hoped he would split you open the same way.
His hands took a grip on the tops of your parted thighs from the outside, taking one foul yank as you felt him press his cock between your wet folds. You were back to gripping and stroking over his forearms, your delicate hand coming up to feel his stubbled cheek.
“Joel please, I need you.” you whimpered out, his head nodding against yours as a few of the curlier strands on his head fell onto his forehead. He was so handsome when he was turned on.
Joel’s heavy huffs broke the eye contact of his cock gliding up and down your arousal, the slick lubing him perfectly. He was perfectly glazed over now, all because of you, his heavy thumb coming down to gently circle over your throbbing clit.
You let out a cry at the much-needed attention, your walls pulsing for him to fill you up.
“Joel!” You whined out in anticipation, your jaw dropping as he finally guided his tip to you without warning and slammed into your depths until he bottomed out in one thrust. His hand was quick to clamp over your mouth, stopping you from letting out a sobbing moan as tears started to swell at the brim of your eyes.
“Don’t want anyone to hear us, princess,” His voice was broken by grunts and loose breaths, his palm swallowing your hot high pitched whines. “Or else we’ll have to stop.” You did not want him to stop!
You quickly shook your head and clasped your wrist around his which kept your mouth shut. I’ll be good, I’ll be good for you Joel. A tear slipped as you peppered apologetic kisses to the inside of his palm, your eyes desperately connecting with his in a silent ask for him to please continue fucking you.
Joel swiveled his hips back, his jeans clinging to his upper thighs as he rolled back into you. You couldn’t help but clench your eyes closed and let out a broken moan. He filled you up in all the best ways possible, he was perfect inside of you, every goddamn inch. You didn’t realize how loud you had gotten, his hand pushing your head down further into the desk and squeezing into your cheeks until you snapped out of it.
“What did fuckin’ tell you?” He punched out. God, you could feel him pulsating inside of your tight walls.
“God, this tight pussy feels so-- fuckin’ good.”
You moaned quietly at the compliment, a blissed-out smile on your lips still against his palm as he started a steady rhythm rocking into you.
You whimpered as the desk started to creak with each of his heavy thrusts, pinching your ass against the desk but he felt too good to complain. Sure, you’d have a red line imprinted on your cheeks, but hell, it was so worth it. “Such a good fuckin’ girl, little angel for me-- fuck,” he grunted as he used the hand wrapped around your mouth as leverage, holding your head down as his hips snapped into you mercilessly. You were crying out moans into his palm, but nothing loud ever left the room, just like he wanted.
Your hands are clenching at the desk now, desperate not to fly off. Through blurry eyes, you saw his face, tight and twisted as he admired the way your breasts bounced with each of his thrusts.
You bravely reached up to take his hand around your mouth, shifting it down to wrap around your windpipe. You gave him an angelic little smile, biting down on your lower lip to hold in your dirty moans.
Joel watched you in awe, nodding with his sick little half-smirk as he started to squeeze at the sides of your throat. Fuck, he’s done this before, he knows exactly what he’s doing. The heightened experience turns you on, he’s not some 20-something idiot who cares only about getting his dick wet. Joel wants you to cum.
“You look at me baby.. fuck--, don’t break eye contact until you wanna breathe, darlin’.” His accent drawled in your ear and made your pussy even wetter for him. One of his hands squeezed at the sides of your delicate windpipe, his other hand snaking between you two as his electric fingers found your buzzing clit.
The attention was a lot, but you were a whore for it.
His thrusts grew sloppier, but he was pacing himself, Joel wants you to cum first.
You whimper at the idea of him putting you ahead of his own interested and needs, your head growing foggy as your wrist wrapped around his own that held you down but you didn’t look away from his amber eyes. He licked his lips in desire watching you, your lips parting for air as you finally looked away.
He followed through on his promise, his strong hands going lax as your head fell to the side, eyes closing in bliss while your pussy fluttered around his dick.
“Fuck baby girl,” he panted through a mumble as his spare hand massaged over your breasts. “Got me losin’ my goddamn mind.” He moaned something that resembled your name, pinching at your sensitive peaks until he had you whimpering.
“Joel I- oh god,” your stomach dropped as the tip of his dick massaged at your sweet spot, a cry threatening to spill from your lips but you knew he didn’t like you being too loud in his office so you hold it in, your cheeks going hot red.
It was all too much. Your foggy head, his hands on your sensitive bits, his fucking dick slamming into you. You felt so small in his hold, his body shielding you from the outside world as he drove you face-first into your earth-shattering orgasm.
“Joel-Joel please, fuck, I’m gonna-,” Your chin tilted up and your back arched, his hand instantly moving back up to your throat so you could feel even more floated during the crash of your orgasm.
“Cum for me princess. Cum for me now.” He demanded in a mumble.
It coursed through your body like an electric current, your body short-circuiting from the amount of pleasure it was receiving all at once.
Your lips were parted, but nothing came out. You couldn’t hear a thing, only Joel, only him as he ruts himself against your core and you feel him spill his hot cum into the depths of your sex. You lazily smirked as you made your walls flutter around him, your core pulsing. Could almost feel him in your belly.
His breaths were heavy, heavenly. It made your skin clammy, the both of you so fucked up that you were stuck in place. You didn’t realize it, but you had reached up to cup his face, your thumb gently gliding down the curve of his crooked nose. Your lips gently came together as your head came up, kissing the tip of his nose before going to lay back down on his desk.
“Oh, baby girl,” Joel purred in adoration, his mouth coming down to greet yours in a delicate kiss. “Did such a good job.” Both of you were so drunk on your orgasms, everything was so perfect.
You lazily kissed him back, your arms wrapping around the tops of his shoulders with your fingers lightly fisting the hair at the nape of his neck to keep him close as he softened inside of you. You could stay here like this forever.
You glanced over just in time, seeing the last grain of sand fall down in his glass sand timer. Your session with Dr. Joel Miller was over.
He helped you hop off his desk, your wobbly legs needing to find their strength again. His cum was already meeting the tops of your inner thighs, your face blushing at the feeling. You were quite literally gaping for him.
Joel cleared his throat and easily pulled his jeans back up to the top of his hips at his waist, securing his belt and zipper before he fisted your discarded, ripped apart panties.
“Oh,” you whispered a bit embarrassed at the sight of them. You had just finished pulling your shirt back onto your torso, stuffing your bra inside your purse. No way you were going to try and put that thing back on. You reached out for him to hand them over, your eyes widening as he pulled his hand away and stuffed them into his pocket.
“For safe keeping…” He trailed off, his eyes still dark as they looked down at your wide ones. Well, you weren’t getting those back any time soon. They were his now, your torn to threads black lace panties. You nodded and weakly smiled, still trying to catch your breath.
Joel walked you out, tapping his absentminded secretary’s desk to tell her to find something in both of your calendars for a future date.
“I think I can really help you work this out.” He told you on your way out.
As you left his office, you felt like everyone knew what you had just done. But for now, it was just a secret for you and your therapist, Joel.
---------------- taglist: let's be fr lol If you liked talk me down, check out pretty little thing!
#joel miller#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal the last of us#pedro pascal joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller one shot#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#therapist joel#tlou#tlou fic#the last of us#the last of us fanfiction#hellishjoel
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SEULGI- What Are We? (M)
There she was, talking your ears off. But you don’t mind, you love her. Your eyes fall to her lips, back to her eyes. The blue contacts add more to her already beautiful eyes. You stopped listening to what she is saying a while ago, getting lost in the scenarios of your mind. You notice that she stopped talking, looking back at her eyes, the beautiful eye smile that has your heart jumping over the moon is looking back at you.
“Are you even listening to me Y/n?” She asks giggling, as she swirls the straw in her drink.
“Of course I am, you know I always do,” you chuckle shyly, knowing that you have been caught by her again.
“Uh huh, you want to feel my lips don’t you?” She leans forward slightly, getting of whiff of her perfume that takes over your senses, “My lips on yours~”
“Don’t tease me Seul,” You look away from her for the first time since you’ve met up with her today. She knows long black hair and glasses is your weakness. You hear her giggling as the chair squeaks on the floor as her fingers grab your chin making you look at her.
“I’m serious,” She smirks as her lips come closer than they have ever been to yours. She giggles looking at your closed eyes, and runs away out of the cafe. You chuckle sadly to yourself as you take off after her.
“I told you not to tease me!” You yell at her as you catch up with her. She hides her face from your view so you move around trying to see her face. Getting a quick glimpse you see the bright red that has taken over.
“Leave me alone Y/n!” She curls into a small ball crouching down, you can’t help but think about how cute she is.
“Seul~” You call out to her, pulling her back to her feet, “Let’s get some ice cream, your favorite place, You coo trying to get her to stop hiding, only for her to hide more in your chest. You lift her up, hauling her over to her favorite ice cream spot. Sitting her down at a table, you quickly order, sliding the cup in front of her. A couple of minutes later she finally starts eating, still not looking at you, “Seul?” You say hoping she will finally answer you.
“Hm?” She stares at the melting ice cream, her hair hiding her face from view.
“What are we?” You ask, watching her, her spoon comes to a stop, finally she looks at you.
“I like you,” the conviction in her voice, you almost couldn’t tell that this girl was just the one hiding herself behind her hair a moment ago.
“I like you too,” Smiling at her,”Would you be my girlfriend Seulgi?” You ask her, seeing the bright smile take over her face, nodding eagerly she slides around the table, sitting on your lap.
“Of course I will be,” Her lips finally meet yours, a sensation you already know that you can’t get enough of. Pulling away, you smile at her, taking her hand in yours.
The next few months were the best of your recent years. Seulgi being your girlfriend finally, elevated your happiness. You watch on as she runs around the park chasing the bubbles, the brightest smile on her outshining the sun. She runs back to you, grabbing your hand and pulling you with. The bubbles add to the already perfect background. She pulls to a secluded area of the park, her lips mashing against yours. Your lips move in perfect rhythm with hers, her arms wrapped around your neck, your hands exploring her body. Electricity running through your fingertips, as they glide across her skin. Pulling away, you two pant, trying to catch your breath.
“Lets go,” She says, you quickly nod, taking off towards your car. The whole ride, her lips were latched to your neck, her hand on your bulge. Your concentration on the road falters more and more as you drive. Luckily, the lights were on your side, getting home in record time. The door was unlocked even faster as you two fell onto the couch, your lips still locked with hers. She makes short work of your button up ripping it open, her lips trail down your neck, grazing against your collarbone. The shivers that go down your spine, the goosebumps you get every time she kisses your body. Pulling your pants down, her slender hand wraps around your shaft, her touch is cold but soft. Her spit slides down your shaft as she uses it as lube, “Do you like that Daddy?”
You can only nod as she continues stroking your cock and kissing your neck, you thank god that she wore a skirt today. As you snake your hand under it and start pulling at her panties, she helps you take them off. Straddling you, she slides you in without any problem. She’s still so tight around you. “Fuck baby,” You mutter as her hips bounce slow on your cock.
“You feel so good Daddy,” She whispers in your ear, moving her feet flat on the couch putting all her hips into it, her grip around you is enough to make you cum but you hold out. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoes through your house, her legs are shaking. This is your favorite part, watching her unravel. She cums, “F-fuck! I’m cumming!” she collapses on top of you. You don’t give her a chance to recover and start thrusting up making sure you fill her with everything you have. Grasping her ass with dear life as her nails dig into your shoulders, you cum, as you keep thrusting, your only thought is her. You slow to a stop, trying to catch your breath. She sits up, your cock still buried inside, her eyes, her beautiful eyes that capture your soul with a single glance. Half lidded, dripping with her lust and desire, her hand placed on your chest to keep her balance. She starts grinding slowly, “I need more daddy~” She leans down, her lips nearly touching yours, “Please~?”
Who are you to tell her no, you couldn’t even if you wanted to. You watch as her abs flex each time she grinds. Your hand gravitates to her waist, guiding her hips. You feel her tighten as she cums again, watching her keep going on her own. She got hers, now she wants you to get yours. She quickens her pace, her hands sturdy on your chest.
“Please Daddy cum inside~,” She smiles, even more when she feels your warmth fill her, she rests her head on your chest, leaving small kisses, “I love you baby~”
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Just friends
Lucy Bronze x Reader
Summary: Lucy has been your girlfriend for three years already, but lately, she's spending more time with Ona than with you. Is she falling out of love with you?
Word count: almost 4.2k
A/N: I'm back with another Lucy fic:) Thanks to @helen-with-an-a for the inspiration:) I still have a few requests that I want to finish soon, but I'm currently swamped with uni stuff... so be patient with me. Also, there is a happy end cause my heart can't take pure Angst hahaha. I hope you enjoyy
Warnings: Anxiety, struggling with self-worth, concussion, vomiting, angsty in general, if I missed something lmk:)
Living in sunny Barcelona, playing for one of the best clubs in the world and all of that with the love of your life. A pretty perfect life one would say. Well, currently, you are feeling none of that.
You are insecure. You always have been, but normally, Lucy is quick to pull you out of that mindset. You’ve struggled with self-worth your whole life. Always thinking everyone is better than you. It has gotten better since you started dating Lucy over three years ago, but one of your biggest insecurities is still that she’ll get sick of you and leave you for someone better.
You know Ona is just a friend. She’s Spanish and they’re really close, so of course there will be lots of physical contact. You don’t mind that. You’re not jealous. You’re just scared Lucy will fall out of love with you and in love with Ona.
All the edits on Tiktok and insta were not helping. It got so bad that Lucy tried to block the hashtags on your accounts. It worked for a while but not long.
As Lucy spends the third afternoon in a row with Ona, you start to get even more insecure and a bit pissed to be honest. “Again? I thought we wanted to go to the beach today”, You ask a bit annoyed. “Am I not allowed to spend time with my friends anymore?”, Lucy asks defensive, not liking your tone. You just sigh and say, “Never mind, have fun”, you say and go into the bedroom.
Lucy doesn’t bother to come after you. You have been having the same discussion for days already. Lucy completely oblivious to the fact that your anxiety is bad at the moment, instead thinking you’re jealous. You change into some shorts and a crop top before going back into the living room, ready to take Narla to the beach instead. However, Narla is gone, too. Lucy must’ve taken her with her to Ona.
Great, you don’t even have your cuddle buddy now. Sighing again, you dry the tears that have escaped your eyes. You grab a hat and sunglasses and go to the beach on your own. Needing to spend your time somehow and the beach and ocean help clear your head.
You get home late, just needing the time to think. “Where have you been?”, is the first thing you hear when you get in before you come face to face with an angry Lucy and an excited Narla. “The beach”, you just say as you squat down to greet the dog. “Until now? You couldn’t look at your phone? I was worried out of my mind!”, Lucy asks loudly.
“I haven’t looked at my phone since I left the house”, you just say without looking at the brunette. “Y/N I’m talking to you! I was worried”, She says angrily. You flinch slightly at her tone. The tears you worked so hard to fight back threatening to escape. You look up and say “I’m sorry. I needed to think. I didn’t realize how late it was getting “, you say quietly, trying to stay busy with scratching Narla’s little belly.
“Next time, look at your phone”, Lucy just says and turns around before getting back to the couch. You cuddle Narla a bit longer, the Westie noticing the inner turmoil in you.
Eventually, you stand up and head into the living room as well. “How was your time with Ona?”, you ask quietly. “You gonna get jealous again if I say good?”, Lucy grumbles. “Lucy, I’m not jealous!”, you say defensively.
“Oh really? Then why are we having this same fight over and over again?”, she asks, looking at you. “Because you’re spending every free minute with her. It’s like you’re attached at the hip. I’m sorry I want to spend time with you too”, you argue.
“Yeah sure, that’s the reason. I’m sorry I’m spending time with my friends. Damnit, Y/N! It’s obvious you’re jealous, at least own up to it!”, Lucy yells, and that cuts deep. That sentence just lets something snap in you. “You want me to own up to it? Fine! I’m NOT fucking jealous Lucy! I’m scared. I’m scared you’re falling in love with Ona! I’m scared you’ll drop me as soon as she says yes”, you yell with tears streaming down your cheeks, letting yourself be vulnerable in front of Lucy.
“Oh don’t be ridiculous! Ona and I are friends, and that’s it! You should hear yourself. It’s absurd. Stop making a big deal out of nothing”, Lucy dismisses your fear. She has never done that before. She knows how your mind works and what she just said will make you spiral. Apparently, though, she doesn’t care.
You just look at her and dry your tears roughly. Giving her a nod before you head away from her. “Where are you going?”, Lucy asks, confused. She can see you’re still angry. “Why do you care? I thought I’m just being dramatic”, you snarl as she notices that her choice of words maybe were not the smartest.
“Y/N”, Lucy tries half-heartedly. “No. Not once have you treated me like this. You act like I’m not even here! You don’t pay attention unless I’m saying something about Ona. You know how much that hurts?”, you yell tearfully. “Now you’re exaggerating…”, Lucy says with an eye roll. You just look at her in disbelief and give her a nod. You swallow hard and say “I’m going to bed.”
With that, you leave her alone in the living room and head to the bedroom. Normally, you never go to bed angry. That is one rule that’s important to both of you. Well, tonight, the rule will be broken. By the time she comes to bed, you act like you’re asleep already. She still kisses your head, but you just pull away from her slightly.
You hear her sigh softly, but she doesn’t say anything. Eventually, you fall into a restless sleep.
As the alarm goes off the next morning, Lucy turns it off, and you just sigh. “Good morning”, Lucy says gently. “Morning”, you just grumble before you sit up with your back to her. “Seriously? You’re still pissed? Come on, it’s getting ridiculous”, Lucy says with an eye roll. You turn to her and say “Even if I wouldn’t be pissed anymore, I would be again after this comment. But yeah, of course I’m the ridiculous one. Because God forbid your stubborn brain could acknowledge that maybe you’re not as innocent as you tell yourself you are.”
You just get up and get into the bathroom. Lucy doesn’t say anything and just sighs. She really does not understand what your problem is. You get ready separately, but you’re not hungry, so you just grab a protein bar and gel to eat before practice.
The drive to the training grounds is quiet. You don’t say a word. Once in the locker room, you quickly change, but your teammates notice the tension between the two of you.
Mapi comes in just as you’re almost done changing. “Oh trouble in paradise?”, she asks with a slight tease. As an answer, you just grab your boots and drinks before walking out of the locker room.
Mapi just looks concerned at Lucy, the teasing smile wiped from her face. You normally enjoy Mapi’s teasing or at least chuckle slightly. “She’s been like that since we fought last night”, Lucy says with a soft sigh. “Last night?”, Alexia asks. Most of your team knew your rule to never go to bed angry. So as Lucy nods, most of them look concerned at each other. This has to be a bad fight.
Everyone can tell you’re not in the mood during practice. You play a lot more aggressively than usual. But not the type of aggressive that would hurt another.
You’re pushing yourself hard today, just needing to get out the frustration somehow. As you do a quick round of scrimmage halfway through practice, you run into the box to be on the end of a nice cross from Frido. However you’re a bit late, so you jump in at full speed, trying to find the ball and head it in. One of those flying headers Lucy is known for. Ona, however, is there to defend you, and since she’s running backwards, she doesn’t see you throwing yourself in for the ball.
You crash together, and the collision makes you hit the ball with your temple, unable to get it into the goal. You both land on the ground roughly, you a few feet away from Ona because of the speed you had come with.
You both groan for a moment, stars appearing in front of your eyes momentarily, your head throbbing. You close your eyes for a second, but as you hear Lucy’s voice, you open your eyes. However, her question, if you’re okay, is not directed at you. She is squatting next to Ona. That was it. Yes, Ona was lying closer to Lucy, but still.
“You okay?”, Frido asks you softly, and you just mumble “I’m fine.” You get up as Lucy walks up to you, resting a hand on your shoulder, but you immediately shrug it off and say “Don’t touch me. Don’t act like you care now.” The team has never seen you so angry. You just walk away from the brunette and make your way back to your position.
You high five Ona, not angry at her for the tackle. You squeeze the bridge of your nose slightly as you walk back. God, your head is throbbing. Your world is spinning, and you’re not feeling good at all. You try to shake it off, but Alexia can tell, so she rests a hand on your shoulder and asks “You okay, y/n/n?”
You don’t answer her trying to gather yourself. However, you only drop to all fours a few steps later as the dizziness becomes too overwhelming. “Y/N!”, Alexia yells and quickly waves the physios over.
“What’s wrong, Y/N?”, the Physio asks, and you can only mumble “Dizzy, head throbbing.” Your ears were ringing slightly as you struggle to keep your composure. They look into your eyes and can see that they are unfocused. “Where did you hit the ball?”, he asks softly, having an idea what might be going on.
Your hand moves to your temple and the spot right next to your ear as you almost lose balance and face plant the grass. The physios steady you, and he says, “Yeah, that might be a concussion, let’s get you off the field and checked out.”
“Let me help”, Lucy says, wanting to help you up. “No, please just leave me alone”, you shrug off her hands with tears in your eyes. Alexia steps in and pulls you to your feet before guiding you to the physio room.
“What happened between you? Talk to me”, Alexia asks on the way, knowing the tears are from the emotional pain, not the physical. “We fought badly. She’s been spending a lot of time with Ona lately and ditches our plans for her. You know I’m not jealous. I know they’re just friends, but I’m scared Lucy is starting to fall in love with her and just waits to drop me. However, she completely dismisses my concern, telling me I’m ridiculous and dramatic. I don’t want her here. It’s like I’m not even there anymore. It's always just Ona”, you tell her tearfully, she wraps you in her arms for a second while you sob.
After a minute, you get it together, and Alexia presses a kiss to your head. “I know me saying this won’t help, but Lucy only has eyes for you, but I understand. I tell her not to come in here, but you gotta promise me you’ll talk to each other, okay?”, She says seriously. You just nod before you lie back on the physio bed.
Alexia leaves, and the physio checks you for a concussion. “So you said you’re head hurts and you’re dizzy, any other symptoms?”, he asks softly, shining a light into your eyes. “Nausea, sensitivity to light. I feel a bit out of it”, you answer, and he just nods. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is a mild concussion. The ball really hit you on an unfortunate spot. You should feel better after a few days, but for now let’s get you home and get some rest. No straining activities, keep yourself hydrated, and get some sleep, alright?”, he asks, and you nod.
He helps you get changed before driving you home. The motion of the car makes the nausea so much worse that you throw up as soon as you're home. You try to rest and sleep, but your head won’t let you. The thoughts just crashing on each other making you restless, so you pull on your sunglasses and a hat, grab your headphones to dampen the sounds and make your way to one of your favorite spots at the beach. It’s not a long walk, so you’re fine. The area is usually not filled with many people, so you just lean against the railing and look out on the sea as you sink into your thoughts.
Meanwhile, Alexia walks back out to see everyone have a small water break. Lucy is standing with Keira and Ona, nibbling on the bottle nervously. “How is she?”, she asks Alexia, concerned. “She’s hurt, not just physically. Lucy, what the hell is going on with you? You know how Y/N is, you can’t tell her she’s dramatic and ridiculous, thinking she won’t spiral”, Alexia says a bit angry. Everyone on the team knows that you need reassurance, especially when those thoughts in your head get too loud. And they all could see that was the case lately. “What?”, Keira and Ona ask at the same time as they look at Lucy disappointed. “She was going on and on about how I keep spending time with you and never with her. I just figured she was jealous, and it isn’t a big deal. And as she told me she’s scared I will fall in love with you just something in me snapped, I couldn’t stop it”, Lucy tries to argue quietly as she looks at Ona, but she knows she’s in the wrong here.
Alexia just smacks her hard in the back of the head and grumbles “Estúpida!” “Lucy, her logical brain knows that there is just friendship between us. But you know how insecure she can get, and it’s been getting worse again lately. You should’ve been more attentive”, Ona says, disappointed. “Yeah you better fix this before it's too late”, Keira says seriously, and Lucy just sighs, realizing that she really messed up. “Right now she doesn’t want to see you, I think she has a mild concussion so give her some space, but you guys gotta talk tonight”, Alexia says and gives the brunette a little shove back onto the field.
At the end of practice, Lucy immediately runs to the physio room, but you’re gone. „Where is she?“, Lucy asks the physio as he comes in. „I drove her home. She needs rest“, he says, and she just looks worried at him. „Lucy, relax. It’s just a mild concussion. The ball just hit her at the wrong spot. She’ll be okay in a few days“, he says reassuringly, but it does little to calm her worries. She pushes her hair out of her face and takes a deep breath. „I know, I just really messed up. Thank you for driving her home. I gotta go“, Lucy says and jogs into the locker room. Changing with the speed of light before grabbing her bag and running out again. She doesn’t have time for a shower. She needs to get to you.
Speeding home, she runs in and looks around for you, but the apartment is empty. Grabbing her phone, she calls Alexia. „She’s not here“, Lucy says as soon as Alexia picks up. „Lucy, calm down. What?“, Alexia says, still in the locker room with most of the girls. Ona and Keira look up as Lucy‘s name falls, coming a bit closer so they can hear too. „She’s not here. Y/N is not here. She was told to rest, where is she? What if something happened?“, Lucy asks, worried. Rechecking all the rooms. „Hey Luce, calm down. Come on, take a deep breath“, Ona says, and Lucy rubs a hand over her face before taking a deep breath. „Think. Is there any place Y/N could be? Any place she likes to go to think?“, Keira asks gently but worried about you as well.
The line is silent for a moment as Lucy tries to think. „Isn’t there a spot at the beach close to your apartment that she likes?“, Alexia asks as she remembers you telling her about something like that. „Yeah, I think I know where she is. I‘ll keep you updated, thank you“, Lucy says and hangs up before she grabs her keys and phone and is out the door again. Leaving a completely confused Narla behind.
She sends a quick text to Ona and asks her if she could take Narla out while she was looking for you, which she, of course, does. She runs almost the whole way to the beach. As she gets to the part where it is quiet and especially during this time empty, she sees you leaning at the railing. She sends a quick „I found her“, message to the three girls and packs her phone away. Catching her breath, she slowly approaches you.
„What are you doing here?“, you just ask without looking at the brunette. You know exactly who it is without having to take a look. „I wanted to make sure you’re okay“, Lucy says softly, taking your headphones from your ears carefully. You look at her, your eyes hiding behind your sunglasses. „As you can see I’m fine“, you just say.
“Y/N, I’m sorry. Can we please talk?”, Lucy asks softly. “What? You just wanna tell me I’m ridiculous again? I can deal without, thank you”, You just say and turn to look out to the sea again. “Hey, no”, Lucy says and guides your chin back to look at her. She pushes your sunglasses up to look into your eyes and says honestly “I messed up badly, and I’ve been an ass. I didn’t pay attention and did not treat you like you deserve. I’m sorry. I know a simple I’m sorry won’t do it, but I need you to know that.”
“You know how disgusting it feels to be treated like you make a big deal out of nothing, when it’s all you can think about? When your insecurities and anxiety get dismissed with a simple, you’re being ridiculous? You know how I am Lucy. My logical brain knows that Ona and you are just friends. A simple reassurance and afternoon spend together would’ve fixed everything, but instead, you had to treat me like a piece of shit. Like I’m just this jealous clingy girlfriend. Do you know how much that hurt? To feel like you’re throwing three years away just like that? I’m not asking you to stop spending time with her or not checking on her when she goes down during practice, but, for fucks sake, don’t take me for granted. I don’t need much, but if you want this relationship, you gotta treat me with the respect and love I deserve. Because I can’t take whatever this is much longer. Love me or leave me, that simple”, you tell her as tears start to fall from your eyes. The more words leave your mouth the more tears fall.
She knows how fast you can spiral, but she hasn’t expected it to be this bad. She gently dries your tears as she starts to tear up a bit herself. “Y/N I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I acted like that. I should’ve seen how much my behavior hurt you. Instead, I just kept going and didn’t pay attention. I was wrong, and you didn’t deserve that. I never wanted you to even think about doubting that my love for you is still there. I messed up, and yes, I took you for granted without noticing, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. Y/N, I love you. I love you so much, and I don’t know how my head got so messed up that I stopped trying to show that to you. I’m truly sorry, I promise to make it up to you if you let me. I promise, I love you like you deserve because you deserve the world, my love”, Lucy says honestly, and you just hiccup slightly, trying not to sob. This is all you needed to hear, but you spiraled so deep you’re not sure if you can trust her words.
“Are you just saying this, or is this the truth?”, you ask tearfully. “It’s the truth, please let me make it up to you and love you like you deserve”, Lucy says softly, scared that she really messed up so bad that she’s past the point of a second chance. “Okay”, you mumble quietly, praying you won’t regret trusting her. You’re just in a bad place mentally, and it’s hard to even trust Lucy.
As she hears the okay, she’s quick to pull you into her arms and kisses your forehead. She holds you close, and you cling to her, crying into her chest. Tears are falling down her cheeks as well, but her focus is on you. She needs to take care of you now, treating you like you deserve.
It takes you a few minutes to calm down, Lucy’s heartbeat being able to pull you out of those dark clouds in your head and into a more relaxed state. But that also makes you feel the symptoms of the concussion again. It’s a blessing and a curse. You squeeze your eyes shut as your world spins.
Lucy can tell how unsteady you’re getting, so she just tightens her grip on you and says “Shh, I got you, my love. Let me take care of you.” You just clutch her shirt tightly, leaning on her heavily. Your head pounding. “Let’s get you home. You want me to call a cab to get us home?”, Lucy asks softly as she kisses your head. “No, the motion makes me throw up. I’ll be okay, just give me a minute”, you mumble and try to breathe through the pain and dizziness.
“Take your time, I’ll carry you if you need me too”, Lucy says, and you know she will, but it’s a 15-minute walk to your shared apartment. “Yeah and then you won’t be able to walk for the next three days because of your knee”, You tease weakly. Lucy can’t help but smile at this slight return of banter. “It’s worth it for you”, Lucy just says with a soft shrug and smiles before she kisses your forehead.
You just smile softly and rest against her for a moment longer, taking a few deep breaths. “Okay, I’m ready”, you mumble, and Lucy wraps an arm around your waist to steady you while you make your way home slowly. “When you need a break, tell me”, Lucy says and kisses your temple gently, and you nod.
To be fair, by the time you’re almost home, she is half carrying you. You’re exhausted and definitely pushed yourself too hard today after your concussion. The nausea gets worse the more you walk, so barely five minutes away you stop Lucy and start to throw up again into the grass without much of a warning. “Okay, I got you, love. Deep breaths”, Lucy says, gathering your hair and rubbing your back while keeping you steady. There is not much for you to throw up, so you calm down quickly, but your legs are threatening to give out.
“Do you want me to carry you on my back or bridal style? What do you think will make you less dizzy?”, Lucy asks, it’s not a question of if. It’s how you want to be carried. “Bridal”, you just mumble quietly. Being able to hide your face in Lucy’s neck sounds amazing. She picks you up immediately and carries you the rest of the way home. Did her knee protest a bit? Yes, but she’d do it all over again without a thought.
Once home, she carries you to bed, and you’re greeted by Narla, who jumps on the bed and showers you in kisses. Lucy sets up a bucket and enough water before tucking you in. “Get some sleep. Rest that pretty head of yours. I’ll be here when you wake up”, Lucy says, running her fingers through your hair. “Promise?”, “Promise. I love you”, Lucy says softly.
“I love you too, I missed you”, you just mumble before you doze off. The last thing you feel is a kiss on your forehead.
#lucy bronze x reader#woso fanfics#lucy bronze#woso angst#ona batlle#alexia putellas#keira walsh#woso community#woso fic#woso x reader#barça femeni
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i very much love the idea of steve with a shy! girlfriend because he is SUCH a caretaker and loves to look after her. i feel like he is also casually dominant in their relationship - he always has a protective hand on her, speaks for her when she’s overwhelmed, knows her triggers… and god forbid anyone say anything about his girl. i just think he would thrive in a relationship where he feels as though he is protecting her and serving a “greater purpose” does that make sense?
makes total sense, love! i’m painfully shy, so i get it.
steve is such a protective person, he loves so hard and he cares so much, so as soon as you met him you gravitated towards his dominant, caring nature… the way he’s almost parental, how perceptive he is to your feelings, how accepting of your shyness he is— he finds it endearing really!
so you become friends fast and fall for each other faster, and steve is always looking for ways to make your life easier and happier and brighter, to shower you with love and attention, and it flusters you so badly! steve loves how giggly you get when he’s extra sweet to you, trying to hide your pretty face from him, and he lives to see you smile. he’s so in love. fully believes you two are soulmates.
your stevie dotes on you and spoils you the way he knows you like and peppers kisses all over you and is so affectionate, doesn’t allow you to doubt your relationship or his love for you for even a second, he orders for you because he knows that’s something that gives you anxiety, he viciously defends you if someone is rude, he helps you get out of your shell as much as you’re comfy with, always tells you how proud he is of you and praises you. stevie is just so happy that he finally found his person, and that you love/spoil/adore/appreciate him just as much as he does you, that you praise him and hold him and love on him just as much as he does you. you’re his perfect match, his favorite person in the whole world, his angel. you two are definitely both touch starved for the other — you because you’ve perhaps never had romantic validation before given how shy and reserved and introverted you are, and steve because he’s never had someone that truly loves and appreciates him and isn’t using him to pass the time or for sex — so you’re both clingy and touchy and so unbelievably happy to be together, y’know? like you truly found your perfect match and there’s no fear of coming on too strong or of showing too much affection or being too needy, you’re both just right for each other.
oh! and everyone in town knows you’re steve’s girl and that he’s totally whipped for his girl, anyone interested in him is so jealous of you because steve only has eyes for you and let’s be honest he’s the perfect boyfriend blueprint to you.
steve finally receiving the love he deserves from his shy! gf and the two being so good and perfect for each other 😌
#fairy writes#boyfriend!steve harrington#lovesick!steve harrington#steve harrington#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington blurb#steve harrington thoughts#shy!reader#anxious!reader#soft dom!steve harrington
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─── ⋆ MY CHAMPION
✮ 𝐰𝐰𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫! 𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
The arena was electric with anticipation, the crowd buzzing as they awaited the main event. Abby Anderson, WWE’s reigning powerhouse, was about to step into the ring for what was expected to be her toughest fight yet. You stood in the front row, heart pounding, your hands gripping the barricade tightly. The lights dimmed, and her entrance music thundered through the speakers, sending the crowd into a frenzy. But while their excitement was for the match, your own heart raced for a different reason—Abby, your girlfriend, was about to take the stage.
When she finally emerged, every bit the unstoppable force she was known for, the crowd erupted. Muscles tense and eyes fierce, Abby looked like she owned the ring before even stepping inside it. But as she scanned the sea of faces, her gaze found yours, and just like that, her hardened expression softened for the briefest of moments. A small, private smile flashed your way—just for you—before she focused back on the task ahead.
You were a vision of softness in the front row, dressed in a pastel, sparkly outfit. The perfect contrast to Abby’s rugged, no-nonsense look. You could hear fans whispering around you, noticing the clear difference between you two.
“Is that Abby’s girlfriend? They look so different together.”
“Yeah, but she’s always watching out for her. She's a TOTAL softie when it comes to her.”
You smiled, a knowing warmth in your chest. It was true. Despite her fierce reputation, Abby was endlessly protective and gentle when it came to you. Even in the middle of a fight, you knew she was always aware of where you were, always looking to make sure you were safe and okay.
The match began, and your cheers joined the roar of the crowd. You called out Abby’s name, your voice filled with excitement and pride. Every punch, every slam—Abby was a warrior in the ring. But each time she glanced your way, you could feel the silent exchange between you. She drew strength from knowing you were there, cheering her on.
Near the end of the match, your breath caught as a hard fall sent Abby crashing to the mat, her face twisting in pain as she clutched her shoulder. The referee hesitated, concern flashing in his eyes, but Abby shook him off, refusing to stop. You knew that look, the subtle wince beneath her tough exterior—she was hurt.
Your heart clenched as she powered through, using every ounce of strength to win the match. The crowd erupted in celebration, but the worry gnawed at you. Ever the strong Abby.
Backstage, you rushed to her side the moment you could. Abby sat on a bench, still in her wrestling gear, her shoulder clearly bothering her.
“Abby, you’re hurt,” you murmured, kneeling in front of her, your fingers hovering gently near her injury. You give her head a kiss, rolling your eyes as she dismisses your worry.
“I’m fine, babe,” she grunted, trying to shrug it off. But the way her jaw tightened with each movement told you otherwise.
Without a word, you grabbed an ice pack and first-aid supplies. When you returned, she gave you that familiar mix of affection and exasperation—knowing she wasn’t going to win this argument. You carefully pressed the ice to her shoulder, your soft touch easing some of the tension in her body.
“I told you not to worry,” she muttered, her voice dropping as her eyes softened.
“And I told you to take care of yourself,” you countered, kissing her cheek gently. “You don’t always have to be the strong one, Abby. Let me take care of you too.”
She sighed, but there was a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she leaned into your touch. Abby might have been a force of nature in the ring, but here, in your hands, she allowed herself to be vulnerable, trusting you completely.
Weeks passed, and thanks to your constant care, Abby’s injury healed. Now, the biggest night of her career was here—the WWE Championship match. You stood in the front row, as always, but this time, the air was thick with anticipation. You’d watched her train tirelessly for this moment, and now everything was on the line.
The match was brutal, an all-out war between Abby and her opponent. Your heart pounded with every strike, every near fall. At one point, she was knocked down, and for a moment, panic flashed through you.
“Come on, Abby!” you shouted, your voice breaking through the noise. “You’ve got this!”
As if hearing your voice gave her the strength she needed, Abby fought back with renewed energy. In the final moments, she pinned her opponent, the referee’s hand slapping the mat for the three-count. The crowd exploded into cheers.
She won.
Tears filled your eyes as Abby held the championship belt high above her head, the crowd chanting her name. But her gaze wasn’t on them. It was on you.
As soon as she could, she made her way over to the barricade, pulling you into a tight embrace despite the chaos around you.
“I couldn’t have done this without you,” she whispered, her voice rough with exhaustion and emotion.
“I knew you would win,” you replied softly, pride swelling in your chest.
Later that night, back in the comfort of your shared apartment, the world outside seemed far away. Abby, freshly showered and wrapped in a soft hoodie, lay beside you on the couch. Her arm draped protectively around you, while your head rested against her chest, the steady rhythm of her heartbeat soothing you both.
“You were incredible tonight,” you murmured, tracing your fingers over her hand. “You always are, but tonight…”
Abby smiled, her fingers gently brushing through your hair. “I had a secret weapon.”
“Oh yeah?” you asked with a soft laugh, looking up at her. “What’s that?”
“You,” she whispered, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “You’re the reason I fight.”
Your heart swelled, warmth flooding through you. In that quiet moment, you realized just how perfect your dynamic was. To the world, you and Abby were opposites—she, the fierce WWE champion, and you, her soft, gentle partner. But together, you balanced each other. Abby was your strength, and you were her peace.
And that was all either of you needed.
✮ 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘳𝘩𝘦𝘢 𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘺, 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯, 𝘪'𝘮 𝘢 𝘴𝘭𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘣𝘶𝘧𝘧 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯😩
#lesbians#abby anderson x reader#alternate universe#abby anderson#wwe#fluff#modern au#abby anderson x y/n#abby anderson x female reader#abby x fem!reader#abby the last of us#the last of us
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yours
pairing: remus x reader
summary: after inviting remus's oldest friends to dinner to introduce his new girlfriend, a secret slips that could alter their entire relationship
warning: alcohol
a/n: it is my second fic as the first one seemed to go over well. also this was supposed to be just a happy dinner but I got carried away :)
The kitchen filled with the smell of sauteed garlic and onions, the sound of pots gently simmering on the stove as Remus bustled about, trying to prepare for the evening ahead. The soft, golden light of the afternoon sun was pouring in from the window as it helped illuminate the room. He was dressed the same way he always was, casual but put together, a simple beige jumper and his well-worn jeans. He rolled up his sleeves once more as they kept falling down his long arms, and pushed his glasses back into place so he could get a better look at the task at hand.
Despite his outward appearance, there was a certain stress that was palpable radiating off him. His eyes kept flicking to the watch on his wrist whenever he had to stir the pot on the stove, awaiting the arrival of his childhood friends.
You entered the kitchen behind him, now changed out of your pyjamas from that morning, you joined your boyfriend as he moved around the kitchen with practised ease. He flicked his hair back from his face with a sharp movement and you could feel the nerves he was trying to ignore, feeling the flutter of your own heart at the excitement of meeting his two closest friends.
“Rem, you need to sit down for a moment?” You ask with a chuckle as you place your hand on his shoulder. “You’re going to wear yourself out before they even get here.”
He glanced up from the stove, relaxing slightly as he took you in.
“You look beautiful, darling,” he said with a small smile. He gently kissed the side of your face before turning his attention back to dinner. “Just want everything to be perfect. Like you.”
You playfully tap his shoulder with a grin. “It will be,” you reassure him, squeezing the top of his arms. “I’m sure I’ll love them.”
The brown-haired boy let out a soft smile and shook his head. “They can be quite…boisterous,” he tells you after a little thought. “Don’t take anything that comes out of their mouths too seriously.”
You raise an eyebrow and lean against the counter, crossing your arms with a teasing smile. “Boisterous huh?” You smile at his wording as he frowns, cheeks spattering with red. “I’m sure I can handle that. Besides, if they’re anything like you, I might even enjoy it.”
He laughed at your confidence but he still had a hint of concern, he knew the two well. Very well. Their personalities were huge, and to the wrong person, it could really rub them the wrong way. “Well, I warned you. James is going to start with something juvenile about settling down, and Sirius—“
“—will probably give me all of the details about how you used to be a notorious prankster in your youth?” You completed his sentence with a smirk on your lips. “I can handle that easily, I’ve dealt with worse. Remember the time I accidentally stood on Flitch’s cat in front of him? I survived that…sort of.”
He laughed, a deep warm sound that flooded into the room, it never failed to make your chest feel warm. “Alright, alright. I guess you can survive anything then, dove.”
You gave him a playful wink. “Precisely. Now, why don’t you sit down and let me finish up in here. I swear I will not burn anything.”
He reluctantly strode over to the chair, pulling it back as he relaxed into it, watching you work in his absence. “You have my full trust. Just one thing ok?”
“What is it?” You ask, your eyes sparkling in the dim light, he can’t help but admire the sight of you. All dressed up pretty for this evening. All this effort for his sake.
“If they get too much, tell them to piss off. They can handle it.” He tells you are he rests his chin on his hand, his lovesick expression completely covering his previous stressed one.
You shake your head at him. “Stop worrying, I’ve got it covered,” you grin at him. “Just enjoy the fact you have having dinner with your best friends, please?”
The conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door that echoed through the flat, followed by muffled chatter. Remus leapt up and gave you a quick kiss to your temple before he made his way down the stairs to let them up. You smiled as you heard your boyfriend’s voice greeting your guests, the conversation was muted but grew louder as they made their way inside.
“Domestic life certainly suits you,” a voice called out, filled with playful disbelief.
“Gonna need the secret,” another chimed in, the tone equally light and teasing as the first. “Is it a charm? Potion perhaps? Is that how you got her to say yes?”
You hear a thunk and suppress a giggle, Remus had probably tapped one of them to shut them up. “It’s called ‘being patient’, you heard of it?” He asks sarcastically. “Behave, otherwise you are being kicked out the way you came.”
Only a few moments later, two men appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, their eyes glowing as they took in the sight of you and smiles growing even wider. The one with glasses, James you presume from the conversations you have had previously, was the first to speak.
“Well, well, well,” He began, entering the space. “Looks like Remus is a lucky guy. I’m James.”
He holds out a hand for you to shake, which you do with pleasure. “Lovely to meet you.”
The darker-haired man followed, his expression playful. “I agree with James here, you sure you didn’t use any spells here Moony?”
You lock eyes with Remus and look at him puzzled, he had never mentioned that nickname before and looked flushed. Oh, you were so going to enjoy finding out more of what your sweet boyfriend had kept from you, and you were going to love every second of it.
You shook Sirius’s hand and matched both boy’s expressions with a confident smile. “I’m afraid there was no magic involved,” you told them with a small chuckle. “Pure luck and fate.”
Remus rolled his eyes but his heart swelled with your admission. “Okay, okay, enough,” he placed a hand on each boy’s shoulder, ushering them to the dining table. “Darling, why don’t you go sit at the table? I can handle the rest.”
You nodded at him, not noticing James and Sirius sharing the same look as the pet name fell from their friend’s lips. You sit down at the table, which is still in the kitchen thank god, you were happy that Remus was still in the room and hadn’t left you to fend for yourself.
James and Sirius took their seats opposite you, glancing at your boyfriend with overdramatic smiles. “Settle down,” he said, his parental attitude had you stifling a laugh. “I hope you’re both hungry.”
“Starved,” James said dramatically whilst placing his hand on his stomach. “You have outdone yourself here Moony. Where have you been hiding your culinary skills all this time.”
It was Sirius’s turn to speak. “Yeah, I always thought you were more of a ‘charred toast’ kind of guy.”
You rolled your eyes at their antics. “It was a joint effort,” you pipe up. “I like to think of Remus as my trusted sous-chef.”
“Sous-chef?” James’s expression feigned surprise. “I didn’t know you had culinary ambitions, Remus.”
The man hovering over dinner scoffed. “I shall have you know I am very skilled with a spatula,” he waved it in front of him to emphasise his words. “Just don’t ask me to make a soufflé any time soon.”
Sirius laughed and leaned back in his chair, clearly feeling well at home. “So, what’s on the menu tonight, chef?”
“Ratatouille and herb potatoes,” you tell them. “Remus’s choice, he has been asking for it all week.”
“Sounds French so it must be fancy,” Sirius says with a more serious tone, making you giggle. “I shall see if it lives up to your praise.”
Remus made his way over from the kitchen counter, oven mits on as he delivered the steaming hot food to the table. He removes the gloves from his hands and throws them absentmindedly on the table next to him as he takes his seat next to you. He gave you a reassuring nod as he tugged his chair in, brushing his leg against your own, perhaps an accident but still the action made your heart soar.
“It looks lovely sweetheart,” he tells you softly, his eyes shining with nothing but adoration, looking proud, finally able to show you off to his friends. They both shared another glance as they witnessed the interaction.
“Well, Moony,” James said with a teasing grin plastered on his face. “Never would have pegged you for such a sap. It’s…nice.”
Sirius chimes in next. “You’re practically glowing mate, all loved up.”
His cheeks reddened slightly but his expression never faltered. “You are just jealous because you are the last bachelor,” he smugly replies.
You playfully nudge his shoulder before turning your attention back to the boys. “So, I’ve only heard bits and pieces from your time at Hogwarts. Care to share any stories Remus may have been keeping from me?”
A spark appeared behind James’s eyes, clearly ready to divulge precious information. “Oh, where do we even begin? What about the food fight in The Great Hall? Or the time we charmed the sorting hat to only speak Swahili during the sorting ceremony?”
Sirius barked out a laugh as the memories came flooding back to him. “And don’t forget the time we made everyone's hair turn red for the Quidditch house cup! That left everyone pissed for weeks!”
The boy next to you couldn’t hide the embarrassment on his face as he shifted in his seat. “Yeah, well…I didn’t really have a say in these schemes. I was just dragged along for the ride.”
You laughed gently, leaning into his side as to reassure him, trying to ease his mortification. “Oh, I bet you had a lot of fun, though. Sounds like you relished making mischief.”
He blew a large puff of air out of his lungs, amusement gracing his features. “I do admit, it was fun. But only because I was with these idiots.” He gave the two boys sitting opposite an affectionate, albeit exasperated look. “It got me out of my shell, that’s for sure.”
James lifts his glass as if making a toast. “To our precious Moony, then. For not only surviving our escapades but apparently, also surviving us.”
Sirius nodded along before raising his own glass. “And to his lovely girlfriend, for entertaining him in our absence. We are eternally grateful for your sacrifice.”
You laughed wholeheartedly at their words before looking over at Remus. He was entirely fixated on you, his eyes filled with the familiar warmth they always have when directed at you. “I’m flattered,” you say teasingly. “Glad to see my sacrifice has been acknowledged.”
You felt a gentle hand rest on your leg under the table, Remus’s gaze never leaving yours. “Thank you, darling.”
It was now your turn to blush, feeling a wave of fondness rush through you. The dinner flowed smoothly, with the boys speaking over one another in their attempts to relive their past misadventures. Remus’s hand never left your thigh, even when he waved an accusatory finger at Sirius trying to blame him for some previous mishap in a prank long ago. You rested your palm over his own, intertwining with his, letting him know you were right there with him, even among the raucous that was ensuing at the table.
Sirius, clearly merry on one too many glasses of wine, leaned back in the chair with a tipsy grin. “You know,” he began, his body now turned to face your own. “It’s really something the way you handle our Remus. Not everyone can manage his…unique schedule.”
You paused just before you were about to take another bite, the words hanging in the air, fork hovering above your plate. You turned your attention to Remus next to you and his expression made your nerves spike. His face was pale. Too pale. Like all of the blood had been drained from him. His eyes were locked on Sirius, who seemed oblivious to your boyfriend’s clear horror.
You placed your utensils down and frowned, confusion swirled around in your head. “Unique schedule?” You echoed his words, trying to make sense of Sirius’s previous comment. “What do you mean?”
Remus’s knuckles were turning a shade of white as he gripped the table, trying to keep his composure before clearing his throat awkwardly. “Sirius,” he said, but the strain in his voice was noticeable.
James picked up on what was happening and kicked the man next to him under the table. “Mate, I think you’ve had enough,” his laugh is fake as he taps the side of Sirius’s now empty glass. The action does nothing to lessen your clear confusion. You glance up at Remus as if to ask for an explanation.
“It’s nothing, dove,” he said, clearly trying to regain his composure. “Just an inside joke.”
Sirius and Remus share a quick glance, the darker-haired boy holds his hands up in mock surrender and begins to speak again. “Alright, new topic. Did we tell you about the time the Lily finally pranked James for the first time? If you thought he was head over heels before, nothing would have prepared you for how he acted after that.”
You shook your head and urged him to carry on, but you couldn’t help the seed of doubt that had just been planted in your mind. Questions buzzed around in your head and the fact that your boyfriend’s leg would not stop bouncing next to yours did little to calm you down. He was silent as Sirius dove into his story, not even smiling at the jokes he was sneaking into the tale. He just felt…frozen. As if all the joy had been sucked out of him in that moment. You weren’t sure if you even wanted to bring this up later.
The rest of the evening proceeded with a renewed focus on lighter topics, but the shadow of Sirius’s comment lingered in the air, adding a layer of tension to the otherwise warm and affectionate atmosphere.
After the plates had been cleared away, James and Sirius insisted on doing the washing up for the two of you. What would have been a thoughtful gesture was clouded as Remus refused to look in your direction for more than a few seconds. It was clear that whatever was brought up this evening had rattled him. He was scared.
The evening came to an end with James and Sirius gathering their things, still cracking light jokes about Remus and his new girlfriend, though the air was notably tenser than it had been earlier. Remus’s smile was tight as you both walked them downstairs and to the door.
Sirius lingered slightly behind, now looking a little bit more subdued, his earlier drunken state had mellowed out as he pulled Remus in for a quiet apology, one only he could hear. “I’m sorry, mate. I didn’t mean to—I thought—”
Remus just nodded solemnly, already dreading what might occur once the two of you were left alone. His jaw was clenched as he reached over to open the door, avoiding his friend’s eyes. “Get home safe, Pads,” he said with defeat, voice hoarse with emotion.
James offered you a warm smile as he passed you by, his face softer as he spoke to you seriously for the first time that evening. “It was great meeting you, I have to introduce you to Lily sometime,” he glanced over at Remus, his posture still stiff. “Take care of him for us, yeah?”
“Of course,” you replied earnestly, but when you looked over at the tall man next to you, he seemed completely detached from what was transpiring around him.
When the door clicked shut, the silence that followed was unbearable. He was the first one to move, climbing up the stairs back to your flat, waiting for you to follow. You both stood frozen in the kitchen, waiting for the inevitable conversation to start. He was rigid, his mind going a hundred miles an hour.
This is what he had been dreading, you finding out. There was no doubt in his mind. If he told you the truth, you would leave. You would shove all of your things in a bag and just leave. The only reminder that you were once here would be the toothbrush left in the bathroom which he would stare at in the morning when he inevitably got up. Taunting him about what he could have had.
You could feel the pressure in the room increase, and as much as you didn’t want to bring it up, you knew that there was no other choice if you wanted to get answers. You couldn’t live with the doubt you felt after seeing his reaction. Not when it seemed this important.
“Rem, what was Sirius talking about?” You ask cautiously, not wanting to scare him more than he already was.
His back stiffened even more at the question, he turned slowly to face you, his expression failing to mask the panic underneath it.
“It’s nothing,” he spoke too fast, too quickly, his words sharp and defensive. “He was just… drunk. You misheard.”
You frowned, trying hard not to feel hurt by the clear lie and dismissive tone. “No, I didn’t. What did he mean by ‘unique schedule’? Please, do not lie to me.”
“I’m not,” he said sharply, harsh tone making it hard not to flinch away. His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, his knuckles changing colour as he tried to keep his emotions from leaking out. “Just drop it.”
“Why are you being like this?” You pressed, your question valid. He had never acted this way before. Ever. He was always so open with you, even down to the most mundane things. This was the same boy who answered your every question, every query. Were all those answers just lies as well? “I just want to understand.”
But the poor boy couldn’t even look at you, couldn’t meet your gaze as he knew the expression you would be wearing. The one that would break him completely, especially with the knowledge that he made you feel that way. The fear inside him began bubbling over, his ribs tightened and his breath quickened, chest rising and falling rapidly as the facade he wore so well started to unravel. He shook his head and began to pace, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I can’t—“ his voice cracked painfully. “You don’t understand—I can’t lose you.”
The words caught you off guard, they were not the ones you expected. “Lose me? Remus, you are not going to lose me.”
“You don’t get it!” He suddenly burst out, voice ragged and raw. His breathing was erratic now, on the verge of hyperventilating and it took everything in your power not to reach out and touch him. Hold him. Tell him everything is going to be okay. “If you knew—if you knew what I am—you’d leave. You’d be gone, just like everyone else. And the worst part is I wouldn’t even blame you.”
You watched as the man you love completely shattered in front of you. His hands were shaking uncontrollably as he ran them over his face, a weak attempt to hide the tears that were already forming in his eyes. His breathing was shallow as if he was fighting against an invisible force trying to suffocate him.
“Remus,” you whispered gently, taking a step towards him, but he jerked backwards, scared of you touching him. He spoke, his voice was filled with anguish.
“I’m a monster,” he choked out, his words tumbling over one another as they exited him, rushing to get out. “W—werewolf.”
Pained, he managed to get the last word out, but there was no relief when it was finally uttered it. “Every month I turn into something dangerous, something that could—will hurt you, and I—I didn’t tell you because I was terrified. Terrified you would leave. Terrified that if you knew the truth, you’d see me for what I am. I know it’s selfish but—”
His voice broke completely and his legs gave out beneath him as he collapsed on the couch, his face now buried in his hands as his body vibrated with adrenaline. “I’m so sorry,” he sobbed, his body shaking more with every ragged breath that left him. “I should have told you, but I’m selfish. I wanted to keep you, even if that meant lying to you. Sweetheart I’m—I’m so sorry.”
Your heart shattered for the man in front of you, watching him fall apart, consumed with nothing but fear and guilt. You had never seen him like this, so vulnerable, so catastrophically broken. The sight made your own eyes sting with tears as you wanted nothing more than to reach out for him.
Without saying a word, you moved towards him, kneeling down slowly and gently prying his hands away from his tear-streaked face. “Remus,” you say shakily, cradling his face in your hands with all of the softness you could muster, forcing him to meet your eyes. “Remus, look at me. Please.”
His watery eyes met yours, filled with so much pain and self-loathing, it nearly took your breath away. He gazed at his sweet girl, too sweet for him. She didn’t deserve this burden. She didn’t deserve any of it. If he could take it all back and never have met her he would, the look on her face was almost too much to bear. He wanted to run away. Far away from here. But he had to listen, you deserved that. He would hear what you had to say. He would do anything you asked of him.
“I don’t care,” you tell him firmly, trying to keep the tears from spilling and your voice steady. He needed this right now. Needed you to tell him it was all going to be okay. “I don’t care what you are. You could never be a monster to me. You’re my Remus. You’re the man I love. The man who is kind to me, who is gentle. The man who treats me like I am the most precious thing in the world. That is all I care about.”
He stared at you with utter disbelief, not fathoming the words you just spoke to him. The words were spoken softly, as if they were the simplest of truths. “But—but I could hurt you. I could—“
“You won’t.” You interrupted him, brushing a fallen tear from his cheek with your thumb. “You would never hurt me. I trust you, Remus. I trust you with everything.”
His lip quivered again and more tears followed. “I don’t deserve you, you know that? Not in a million years do I—”
You lean in before he can continue his sentence, pressing a soft, reassuring kiss to his lips. Your hand cupping his face gently as you try to pour everything you felt into him, you feel his hesitancy as he doesn’t reciprocate. “Yes, you do,” you murmur against his lips, pulling back just enough to meet those amber eyes you have grown to love so much. “You deserve love, Remus. You deserve to be happy. I’m not going anywhere.”
He let out a broken sob, lurching forward and burying his face in your shoulder as he clung to you like a lifeline. Holding you close as if you would disappear from him. “I love you,” he whispered in your ear over and over again like a mantra, words slightly muffled against your now tear-soaked skin. “I love you so much.”
You run gentle fingers through his brown hair, shushing him and pressing soft kisses to the top of his head. “I love you too,” you whisper as you hold him close. You would tell him as many times as he needed to hear it, letting him cry until the storm inside him finally began to calm.
After a long moment, not that you minded one bit, you pulled back slightly. You brushed the tears from his cheeks with a tenderness he had long forgotten. “You know,” you said with a wet smile, trying to lighten the mood between you both. “For a self-confessed ‘monster’, you really are just a big softie.”
A watery chuckle escaped him and he shook his head at your audacity, his grip still holding onto you firmly. “Only for you, dove,” he murmured, his voice still thick with emotion, but at least there was a small smile playing on his mouth, tugging at the corners.
You grinned and pressed another firm kiss to his lips, this one he allowed himself to feel and he melted into you, arms tightening around you once more as if he was afraid to let you go. “I’m yours,” you tell him. “No matter what.”
Remus pulls back just slightly, gazing at your face with a mix of shock and adoration, his brown eyes softer than you’ve ever seen them and full of emotion. His lips twitched into a playful smile as he brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Mine huh?” He asked, his voice quiet but teasing. “Sweetheart, I have to warn you—it’s a terrible deal. Comes with occasional transformations and an excessive collection of books, overwhelming amounts of tea too.”
You laugh softly, seeing your Remus return with the same playfulness you were unaware you missed so much. He leaned in closer, his lips brushed against your ear, sending a shiver up your spine. “But I’ve got a pretty decent return policy. You’ll get a lifetime of love, some awful jokes and me being hopelessly, utterly devoted to you, sweetheart."
Your heart swelled at his words, but before you could respond, he pressed his lips to yours once again, this time slower, softer, and full of all the love he had just confessed. When he reluctantly pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, still keeping you in his arms. “I’m yours, darling,” he said with raw honesty. “For as long as you’ll have me.”
#remus lupin fanfiction#remus#remus x reader#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin#remus lupin headcanon#remus lupin oneshot#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin angst#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin hurt comfort#marauders x reader#marauders#remus lupin x y/n#remus x y/n
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babes ur writing is so good , can you write something where the reader is going to indiana with caitlin but is nervous that cait will forget about her ???
*i think i interpreted this wrong so i’m so sorry lmao
Champagne Coast . CC
pairing: caitlin clark x reader
synopsis: request ^
A/N: y’all i’m so sorry for how long this took me!! and i feel like my writing has really deteriorated so please give me feedback and let me know if you like it or totally hate it lmao, thanks for your patience!!
also sorry i had to use YN like ONCE !!
wc: 10.6k
Finishing eight or nine?
Tell me, what's the perfect time?
your bowl had been placed in the dishwasher long ago, countertop cleaned and leftovers placed in the nearly empty fridge. dinner was growing cold and you hadn’t cared to wait, opting to eat alone yet again before residing in the living room. the tv played in the background with some arbitrary doctors show from the 90s as you sat patiently watching the clock. the hands were beginning to collect dust, you noticed, though it had only been up for a few months upon your move to indiana. each tick seems to mock you the more time dragged on.
she was supposed to be home long ago. practice would have been done at 8 or 9 and it was now approaching 11. this is what it always was, waiting up for her well into the night when the street lamps turned on and the sky grew dark. and you’d wait up like you always did as you were unable to sleep without her. especially in this new home, new bed, new sheets, new life. it never quite bothered you that caitlin would show up late every once and awhile, but it had started to become a habit, and you were left cold and alone. pestering her about being home at a certain time wasn’t fair to her by any means, knowing that she was just going and getting to know her team some more. but recently it felt like you were navigating this milestone in your life by yourself-your girlfriend hardly around to comfort your racing mind.
when caitlin had been drafted, you knew immediately in your heart that it was going to be rough. change was something of a challenge for you and it terrified you more than anything. you recalled sitting at that table, hearing her name announced and the deafening cheers, thinking about how excited you were for her. and even though you were thrilled for her, you couldn’t help but think about how your perfect world was going to slowly crumble. caitlin insisted that things wouldn’t fall apart, just adjust for the future you were going to build together. but now you were here, in this house-not home-trying to convince yourself that all of it was true.
suddenly, you were pulled from your period of musing when the lock of the front door clicked. it was followed by the faint creaking of hinges, old brass from the 70s, your land lord had claimed. you thought she was full of shit. weary eyes traveled to the opening door to see a very tired caitlin walking in. her hair was tousled, post practice shirt just slightly wrinkled, the slightest bags under her eyes that she insisted weren’t there. she was struggling with the move just as much as you, though she’s never admit it.
“hey,” you uttered just enough to be heard over the television. feelings of your isolation had begun to dissipate the moment you saw your girl, relief running through your veins “you’re home”
“yea” she cleared her throat as she let her bag fall to the floor. the squeak of her shoes echoed against the walls when she toed them off, eventually setting them on the rack beside the door. there was an uneasiness laced in her voice you had picked up on. she didn’t seem angry nor irritated, but she was far from her usual self when she was home. she’d typically be thrilled to see you, ready to be in your arms again and let the stress from the day wash off. you were the first thing she’d looked for when she stepped across the threshold. but tonight, her eyes were hesitant to find yours.
“are you alright?” you watched as she shuffled into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, skipping over the leftovers that you had considerately set aside just for her. her favorite meal dished into the nicest tupperware you owned. her slim figure leaned against the cool marble countertop, taking a swig of the water “you seem a bit…off”
“just tired” she glanced at you, locking eyes for what felt like the first time since she’d been home. a weak smile made its way onto her lips as she studied your position on the couch. you couldn’t lie, she did look tired, but part of you couldn’t shake the feeling that had been consuming you for months. the distance that basketball had created made it feel like you and caitlin were living separate lives, when really, this should be something you tackled together. you couldn’t blame her for any of it even if you wanted to, just hoping that things would go back to the way they were.
you wished she were home more, that her presence would provide you some sort of reassurance. maybe just to convince you that you weren’t going insane, liked you were trapped within these walls for a reason other than her career. it had been a while since you felt like you were living a life that didn’t solely revolve around caitlin’s.
“okay” you smiled back bitterly without pressing any further. any energy you had for a conversation like that had left your body hours ago. reaching for the remote and lifting yourself off the couch, you motioned to the stairwell. considering she didn’t even acknowledge the food, you assumed settling down for the night was what you both needed “ready for bed?”
she blinked rapidly, kissing her teeth silently when she noticed the annoyance in your voice. guilt consumed her as she saw the look on your face, the twinge of desire lost from your eyes.
“mhm” she hummed in agreement as she followed you upstairs to the bedroom.
maybe you both just needed some sleep, caitlin thought. neither of you were mad nor cross with each other, but you’d be fools if you didn’t sense the tension in the air. things had been different for quite some time now, all of it too confusing to address, leaving you to wallow in the awkwardness for days now. but if there was any time, any place, where all that was left at the door? it would be here with each other in bed. it was something of a safe haven, nothing else mattered when you left your worries at the door and held each other tightly.
like clockwork, you stripped of your typical daywear down to your lace panties and one of caits t-shirts. it had a worn down high school logo on it, the design fading from the countless times it had been through the wash. she, likewise, pulled her sweaty gym shirt off her body to replace it with one from her closet. you crawled under the covers whilst you took off your earrings, setting them on the small tray on your nightstand-something you picked out at target when you and caitlin went decor shopping for the new apartment. you had barely noticed caitlin also climbing into bed as the memory of that day overtook you. no words were exchanged as you both settled into the sheets, pulling the thick duvet over your shoulders and finally letting your muscles relax. it was only when a pair of burley arms wrapped around your waist, a familiar nose prodding against your collarbone, did the silence break.
“love you” caitlin whispered, breath warm on your skin “m’sorry i was late tonight and that i missed dinner. i’ll make it up to you”
“s’ok cait,” you murmured, sleep tugging at your eyelids. you brought a hand up to her head as you raked your fingers through her hair, she always loved it when you did “i love you too”
it mattered not what she did to make it up to you. she could do anything in the world, buy you countless gifts, take you on a million trips, but it wouldn’t change the one thing your heart desired for.
her.
I told you I'll be waiting
Hiding from the rainfall
trying to navigate to the locker room was a difficult task, having to push past the cheering crowds in a stadium you weren’t familiar with. you were surrounded by a blur of seattle’s green and yellow jerseys as you looked for any sort of path to follow. indiana had just taken quite the loss against the storm and you knew, the second you heard the buzzer sound, that you needed to find caitlin as soon as possible. eventually, you found where you needed to be and beelined for the locker room, hoping she hadn’t already gone looking for you.
the large metal doors stood tall in front of you when you arrived at the locker room entrance. the shift from the excitement out on the stadium floor to this quiet displeasure was staggering and you weren’t even inside yet. whatever you were about to be faced with would break your heart, you could already see it now. you pictured caitlin sitting down, head in her hands as she tapped her foot anxiously and made her best attempt to hold back her tears. she had been struggling with everything recently-the move, the new team, the continuous losses-it was slowly chipping away at her.
however, after pushing the doors open and stepping inside, it was quite the opposite from what you expected. the doors clicked shut behind you, causing the noise to reverberate around the desolate room as you took in the sight before you. and just as you imagined, your heart slowly began to twinge. caitlin sat there on the bench alone, head leaned against her locker as her chest heaved up and down. tears cascaded down her face and her lip quivered the more she sobbed. wispy strands of hair stuck to her forehead from all the sweat and her hands clutched the sides of her head in frustration. you had never seen her in such a state. caitlin was typically reserved, even with you, not wanting to be open and vulnerable. but here you were, seeing her with all of her guards down.
“caitlin” you breathed, immediately rushing over to her. you fell to your knees, body slotting between her thighs. shaky hands came to rest on her legs hesitantly as to not make matters worse “hey, hey what’s going on baby?”
she made a weak attempt at looking at you, tears blurring her vision. a hiccup escaped her chapped lips when she felt your soothing touch on her clammy skin. caitlin couldn’t even manage the words, thoughts lost in her own mind, only tangling more as she continued her cries. she managed to push herself off the locker, letting herself collapse into you as she shook her head. something to signal her unwillingness to talk. her large arms and heavy torso clashed against you as you enveloped her into a hug. warm tears dropped onto your shoulder as she pressed her cheek into your clavicle, creating a damp spot on your indiana fever t-shirt.
“shhh, i know you’re upset,” you rubbed circles onto her back, palm running across the fabric of her jersey “but i need you to talk to me, i can’t make it better if you won’t tell me”
“i just-” she croaked, voice wavering “i feel like…like a failure”
your body went stiff, the movements of your hand stopping momentarily. you hoisted her back up to face her in disbelief. the confession had taken you aback-not that caitlin had been anything but humble, but she knew how amazing she was, of her immense impact on the sport. to hear that word tumble from her lips, masked by a series of desperate whimpers, was enough to break you.
“caitlin,” you dragged on, feeling yourself at a loss for words. everyone thought so highly of your girl and it crushed you to hear her say those words “you are so far from that”
you watched her throat bob as she swallowed harshly. she tugged at the bottom of her jersey, bringing it up to her face to wipe some of the sweat away. in reality it was just an excuse to hide her blood shot eyes. another shake took possession of caitlin’s head to deny your statement.
“yea well my performance begs to differ”
“one bad game isn’t-”
“it’s not just one game” she cut you off before you could even begin to disagree. she had stopped crying by now, intense emotions now overtaken by aggravation “it’s several games. i keep fucking up. missing shots, turning over the ball-shit”
her rambles trailed off in a rampage of huffs and groans, her breath hot as she breathed angrily out of nose. she was always too hard on herself, lost in the heat of the moment and not giving herself any grace for all the hard work she’s put in thus far. it was a topic that began to consume your daily life. caitlin couldn’t seem to shake off the struggles of the day, in turn bringing them home where they became your baggage as well. of course you didn’t mind being there for your girl-hell, you’d do anything for her no matter what-but it was all starting to get exhausting.
you hated that you had these thoughts in the first place, feeling like a bad partner because you couldn’t bare the repetition of these conversations. time after time after time again you’d beat yourself up over it. caitlin deserved the world and more, but you deserved that just as much and these restless nights weren’t providing that. you didn’t even know what to say anymore, torn between how you wanted to proceed.
“there’s a lot on your plate,” you reassured, getting off your knees and taking a seat next to her on the bench. caitlin’s head automatically went to your shoulder as you took one of her hands in yours “you’re just starting out…don’t be so hard yourself. i know it’s rough, but you’re doing what you can and that’s what makes you so amazing. give yourself some grace, babe”
“i know but,” she sniffled, feeling a sense of calmness rush over her as you toyed with her fingers. it kept her distracted, grounded her for the time being “i don’t know, i’ve just been wanting to be the best all the time-for everyone-and i can barley even keep my head straight”
“i think i can speak for everyone when i say you’ve blown us all away” you traced along her lengthy fingers “your fans, your family, me…we’re all so proud of how far you’ve come”
she sighed deeply, you could practically feel the relief dispersing in her veins. in trying times like this, this is exactly what she needed. you were the shoulder to cry on, the answer to all her problems.
“you always know what to say”
she was right, you did. you’d always have the most thoughtful response lined up, no matter the reason or time. partially because it came so naturally to you, having an empathetic heart since forever, but partially from the consistency of these conversations. you couldn’t even count on your fingers the amount of times you’d sit with caitlin on tough nights, rubbing her back and whispering softly in her ear to bring her back to reality.
“well it’s the truth” you chimed “i’m always going to be here for you, cait”
you always are.
she offered you a smile through puffy pink lips, sore from biting them in strain. caitlin found the strength to pull away from you as her hands left yours, only to plant them right back onto your cheeks. her hands felt heavy on your skin when she brought your face to hers gently. your lips met in a sharp yet delicate kiss, caitlin eager to feel you against her again. but it hadn’t felt usual to you, as your bottom lip caught between her teeth and as your tongue collided with hers. it lacked that passion, that thrill of reveling in your lovers embrace. what was once fire was now a mere ember is a pool of spreading ash. you had feared this feeling for quite sometime although you’d never admit it, it felt as if she was slipping through your fingers.
bit by bit.
Tell me, what's the joy of giving
if you're never pleased?
she had changed.
locking herself away and distancing herself further from you as the season went on. she had always been hard on herself, but even then, she knew when enough was enough and what her limits were. but it seemed that after each game, she lost control of herself more and more. you had never seen her be so critical, so judgmental about her abilities.
it was hard to watch one of the most important people in your life shut themselves away. you wanted nothing more than to be there for her, but she put on the same facade each time and claimed that it as a slump to overcome. but could you really call it a slump when it was starting to weasel its way into the foundations of your relationship?
you hated to think it, but you felt neglected; your wellbeing didn’t feel like it was a priority to caitlin anymore. she used to be so sweet, attentive and caring when you were back in iowa. you wished that you were just as important as basketball. but the mere thought of accusing her of abandoning you seemed harsh when you considered bringing it up to her, because in all fairness, she was undergoing one of the biggest milestones in her life. but that didn’t mean that pushing you aside was fair either. you were taking care of the apartment, running all the errands, helping her balance her schedule, comforting her every single night as she saught after you for solace…and then managing your own life on top of that.
some days it felt like she didn’t even bat an eye at the lengths you went for her. how her laundry was done and set on her dresser, how dinner was made each night, how you picked up her favorite protein powder at the grocery store because you noticed that she was running low? she had began to expect it the more you pushed, not even offering so much as a ‘thank you’ or any regard of appreciation.
you could only give so much with little in return, you need her just as much as she needed you.
On my last strength against you
Baby, tell me what you need
you were happy for her, truly you were. it was so rewarding to see caitlin bond with her team and start to navigate her place in the W. she was beginning to believe in herself and that’s all a girlfriend could want for her partner. but something continued to gnaw at you.
you were doing everything in your power to make more time for caitlin-even if it should be the other way around. maybe by clearing up your schedule, it would make it easy for caitlin to make time for you. but you were sorely mistaken, you couldn’t force someone to make time for something that barely crossed their mind. and perhaps it was a foolish thought. an accusation a bit too cruel, but it was hard to watch caitlin celebrate life without you when most of it was owed to you. no one else served as her backbone, her crutch as she climbed her way to the top.
it was a bittersweet feeling for the most part. you smiled when seeing all the team pictures posted on instagram, chuckling lightly when caitlin retold stories of practices as she got ready for bed each night-the only time you seemed to get with her nowadays. but then there were the tears when you ate meals alone at the head of the table, staring off into the empty seat where she should be sat. and of course the mornings where you didn’t feel like getting out of bed because facing reality of your crumbling relationship was too much to bare.
it was an unfair truth; as she glances off in another direction, you’ll be glancing back to her.
Young as I want to know
I will never let you go
“baby?” her voice felt foreign in your ear. you hadn’t heard that pet name in a while.
“hm?” you responded mindlessly, unable to form a genuine reaction.
you were sat on the balcony of you apartment, the sliding glass doors open behind you. it would let the autumn chill into the house, you told caitlin many times to not leave it open. but she disregarded your commands as she leaned against the frame of the door. you had a small blanket draped over your lap to protect your bare legs from the nippy weather of the changing seasons, your chin resting on your palm as you over looked the view of indiana. your mind felt blank and overcrowded at the same time and trying to clear your head with some fresh air didn’t seem to help at all.
you hadn’t realized she would be home so soon. after all it was 5:00 on a friday evening, you presumed she’d be out with the team or running extra drills with aliyah, hell even at a media event of some sorts. you never knew what it was anymore with her. she didn’t bother to text or update you, most times you only knew of her whereabouts from socials or her family.
“are you ok?” she asked again “it’s freezing out here, you should be inside”
“it’s too stuffy” you sighed, inhaling sharply as the breeze brought in another gust “i can’t be in there right now”
you felt her tense up behind you, the image of her shoving her hands into her pockets formed in your peripheral. this was the most you two had interacted in a while, but your moody attitude appeared sudden to caitlin.
“why not?”
“jus’ can’t”
an unsteady silence filled the atmosphere. the only noises left to be heard were the sniffling of your red and runny nose and the traffic blaring below the apartment complex. you had hoped she’d leave you alone and walk back inside. the optimism of trying had started to disappear and you didn’t think you had much fight left in you. you planned to savor the last bits of energy you had to keep this alive, although today didn’t feel like one of those days. you continued to look out into the distance when she finally moved. you felt the spot next to you plunge as she took a seat.
“you never answered me,” her hand came to rest reassuringly on your thigh. despite the blanket that separated your skin, the contact still felt cold “are you doing ok?”
she had already picked up on your weariness, you were never so shut off when you were with her. but you couldn’t pretend to care when she couldn’t either.
“mhm” everything in you fought to not make it sound so obvious, the sound of your heart breaking as you croaked out the words “i’m good”
caitlin was doing so well and you couldn’t bring yourself to be the bitchy girlfriend that was groveling for attention. you weren’t okay, your relationship wasn’t, but if you just sat in the quiet and let it blow over then maybe it would be. you feared being seen as selfish and you felt guilty as you pushed caitlin away with your short answer.
she huffed, pulling her hand away from you as she hunched over her self, elbows on her knees and head in her hands.
“weeks ago you were talking about how excited you were for fall” she muttered “so that you could put out decorations and we could cuddle up on the couch and watch those old scary movies you love so much”
you allowed yourself to look in her direction, noticing how her face was covered by her beautiful long hair. but you didn’t need to see her to know that she wasn’t pleased.
“but the house looks the same and you’ve been sitting on the balcony every day even though you know it’s gonna make you sick” she craned her neck to look out across the city and you could see the trail of tears in her eyes. just glossy, but not enough to fall “it doesn’t sound like you’re ok”
you couldn’t do this, not right now.
“i’m sorry” you breathed “i understand your concern. i just think i’m a little stressed is all you know? just got a lot going on right now and i guess my focus has just been elsewhere. i’m sorry”
a nearly complete lie, all your focus had been on her these days.
“no need to be, i get it, and you know you can always talk to me about these things. but you gotta come inside, babe” she prodded “you’ll catch a cold”
with reluctance, you gave into her request and pushed the blanket off your lap. caitlin watched as you folded it and draped it over your arm before taking your hand and guiding you inside. the warmth and the calming pumpkin scent of your candle enveloped you like a hug, putting you at ease for the time being.
the both of you fell back into your typical routine almost instantly. no words were exchanged as she headed upstairs to shower, and you moseying into the kitchen to start on dinner. some polite conversation was made when caitlin came back downstairs with wet hair and freshly moisturized skin to help you finish dinner, but that’s as far as it went. no hugs from behind as you stood at the stove, no kisses on the neck, no laughter that was pure enough to make your stomach hurt. but it was simple and it was nice, enough to hold you over until the rubber band holding you together finally snapped.
Trading a baseball lover as I face the snow
“alright,” you said as you walked into the living room, heels padding against the carpet of the hallway and your dress itching at the skin on your legs. your fingers fiddled with your last earring, making you huff in relief when the clasp finally shut “i’m ready!”
it was date night tonight, the first in what felt like years, and there weren’t any words that could describe how ecstatic you were. just the thought of some much needed bonding time with caitlin gave you hope. yes times have been tough, but there wasn’t anything a little quality time (and maybe some good sex) couldn’t fix. you had been planning this night for sometime, making sure you both had the evening off and meticulously scheduling every last minute of the night. you were optimistic that tonight would open up a new door for progress.
but when you walked into the living room, your heart sunk. here you were, all dolled up with the prettiest smile on your face, waltzing into the most disappointing sight.
caitlin sat on the couch, legs spread and back against the soft cushions. she had her phone in hand, hair pulled back like always…and most definitely in a dirty tee shirt from her hamper and a pair of sweats. certainly not date attire, you knew.
“cait” you stood blankly “it’s 7:00”
“uh yea” she responded, only looking up from her phone for a moment, then quickly doing a double take once she realized your physical state “what’s with the dress? i mean you look as beautiful as always but-”
“are you serious?” you scoffed. you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. never in a million years did you think this would happen in your relationship. caitlin wasn’t like that.
“what do you mean ‘am i serious’?” she was taken aback, frustration already evident on her face as her checks glowed a shade of red “i just asked a fucking question”
“you really don’t know?” shoulders slumping when you realized she actually did forget.
she shook her head, brows furrowing as she awaited your response. a quick “no” fell from her lips.
“is the 24th caitlin” you chewed at your lip nervously, trying to hold back tears. you voice wavered as it caught it your throat, making you sound weak and defeated “our date?”
the color drained from her face in seconds, gaze softening and lips downturned. she was off the couch in seconds as she stumbled towards you, bringing your hands into hers. but you pulled them away swiftly and shot her a glare. you were done with the excuses, done with being left in the dust
“babe, i’m so sorry” she shook her head and brushed off the sting that came with your reluctance to her touch “i totally spaced, i could’ve sworn it was next week”
“i’ve been talking about this for months, caitlin” the words stumbled out from gritted teeth, jaw clenched in anger. you had no idea what to say anymore.
she gulped deeply as she looked down to her feet, she was in the doghouse for sure. although you’d consider her fate to be much worse than that. you began to sniffle upon her silence. could she really not manage to say anything right now?
“let me make it up to you” she tried to compromise. part of her knew she’d never be able to outlive this, but she was delusional enough to still believe she could somehow fix it.
“no,” you breathed, bending down to take off your heels. there wasn’t even a point in salvaging this tonight “just forget it”
“no really, you’re upset and this meant a lot to you and i want to fix it”
that was your breaking point. perhaps she didn’t mean it that way, but did she really only see this as something important to you? did she care at all about spending time with you? you wouldn’t be dumb to think that she wouldn’t, she had hardly done anything recently to make you think otherwise.
“really?” you sneered again, there was nothing holding you back anymore. you tossed your shoes onto the couch, leaving them as a problem for later “you want to fix this because it meant a lot to me?”
caitlin tried to study your facial features as she said nothing yet again. she couldn’t tell if you were genuinely mad or just annoyed, willing to forgive or prepared to hold this against her. she noticed the deepened tones of your cheeks and nose, the twitch of your left eyebrow, and the motion of your tongue darting out to sooth the previous bites on your lip. she had never seen you this mad, not in the eternity she had known you. you were such a sweet and loving person, incapable of talking bad about someone or staying mad for long. but she’d be damned if it felt you hadn’t changed within a second.
“i thought you would’ve cared too” you continued “you know, since i’m your girlfriend and you should also want to spend time with me”
“i do spend time with you”
“the fuck you do”
“what the hell does that mean?” she questioned angrily “of course i do, i’ve just been busy”
“please enlighten me then” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes “when was the last time we spent time together?”
“well what about tuesday, huh? when we, uh..when we watched that movie before bed? or when we both went to the team dinner the other night? that was spending time together wasn’t it?”
“no i watched the movie, you barely talked to me all night and the crawled into bed and went to sleep with your back turned,” you choked up as you recalled the memory, you remembered how much it broke your heart. your fingers came to pinch the bridge of your nose as the familiar sting of tears washed over you. “and really, the team dinner? you call that spending time? is it really that if you just chat with your buddies the whole night? you practically ignored me the entire time”
she kissed her teeth at you, clearly aggravated, but deep down she knew you were right. she hadn’t been good to you at all these last few months. and if she were to really be fair to herself, she’d have to admit that it was taking a toll on her too. she didn’t know why she was doing this, why she was acting this way, but she had already made her bed and she’d have to lie in it. this was a habit she knew she’d been baring for quite some time, pulling away when things got hard, leaving her loved ones to cope with the pain from her mistakes. and it broke her heart each time, but with you, it was like she was losing air.
“i’m trying here, alright?” her throat was dry as she tried to give you some poor excuse. she was too caught up in her own shame that she was digging her grave deeper.
“look caitlin,” you glared “i don’t know what the hell is going on with you, but i’m tired. trying just won’t cut it. i know you’ve felt the distance too, we haven’t been normal for a while now and it’s killing me. i can’t eat alone every night, have you come home just to ignore me, and the only time i get with you is under the public eye or with your friends. i know you have shit going on, cait, but you keep pushing me further and further away from you and i don’t know how much longer i can take it. i’m here for you time and time again and you can’t find it in yourself to set aside one fucking night for me”
you chewed at your lip, carefully navigating your next move before continuing.
“i left my entire life behind for you, caitlin. my friends, my family, everything that i have ever known. i left it all to be here with you and support you. and the fact that i spend every day mourning you when you’re in the same house is suffocating, i just can’t do it”
body shaking with anticipation, you looked down at your bare feet. you couldn’t bring yourself to look her in the eyes anymore. before you could stop it, sobs racked your body, tears cascading down your face. the emotions were too much to handle.
“babe-” she cooed, voice softening upon your confession. she’d never felt so disappointed in herself.
“stop,” you said meekly, cutting her off through your own sniffles. you forced yourself to look at her briefly, wiping away the mascara that had definitely accumulated under your eyes. whatever she had to say, you couldn’t hear it tonight. whether it be an apology or total rejection, the end to this period of suffering was about to end and you weren’t ready to deal with it head on yet “i think we need some time, caitlin. i just-i’m too upset and i’m hurting and i think time will do us some good”
“wait what?”
“you need to work out your shit. i don’t know, i think i’ll go to one of my friends places or something for a while..because i can’t put myself through anymore of this”
“no,” it came out as a blurt, her mouth moving before she could think. although she wouldn’t want to think, the image of you leaving plaguing her mind already “please, no, we can figure this out! god, fuck- just please don’t leave me”
you watched her slowly breakdown, she was becoming increasingly hysteric as begged you to stay. you gulped hard when she started crying along with you, another one of the few times she had shown you this side of her. it pained you to see the sight, your instincts told you to take it all back and reassure her everything was ok. but you had to keep your head high and remind yourself that things wouldn’t be ok if you didn’t look out for yourself, even if that included stepping away from caitlin for a few days.
“i’m not…i’m not leaving you, cait. just gonna take some time away, we both need to think about how this relationship is going to continue. and i can’t have an open mind if the cycle continues. but i promise it’s not goodbye, ok?”
she breathed through staggered hiccups, trying to force her body to relax. she couldn’t stand to be without you, even if it didn’t seem like it these past few months. her calloused hand came up to run down her face, taking the tears with it in an attempt to calm down.
“yea” she agreed, her voice barely above a whisper. she hated this, but she knew you both needed the time. you were always right “yea, ok”
and with that, you reluctantly stalked to the bedroom to pack a bag for a few days. shoving random shirts and shorts into the small duffel, avoiding the ones that you’d previously stolen from caitlin over the years. she had opted to sulk alone in the living room, bracing herself by sitting on the couch. she still couldn’t process any of this, the fact that she wouldn’t be with you for more than a day made her sick. even more sick at the fact that you couldn’t talk this out right away, you’d both have to navigate your feelings alone for a while.
she was perched at the edge of the couch, knee bouncing at an alarming rate. her gaze was fixed at the wall in front of her, staring at the variety of pictures that you’d hung on the wall. some of you both when you were younger, others of pictures with your families, and a few from the vacations and holidays you two shared since you’d been together. but her favorite ones, the ones she couldn’t bring herself to look away from, where the one of just you both. her eyes flickered across each and everyone, looking at the way you smiled at her, eyes almost welling up again when she saw how happy you guys were. she’d do anything to have those moments back, go back in time and stop herself from treating you so horribly.
she was disrupted from her period of musing when she heard you walk down the stairs for the second time tonight. you came into view with a bang slung across your shoulder, high heels replaced with a beat up pair of converse. you grabbed your keys as you stopped momentarily to give caitlin a saddened look, lips drawn in an apologetic smile. but you had nothing to be sorry for, caitlin thought when she gave you a similar look in return.
“hey,” she said before you could reach the front door. you turned your head, hand resting on the knob. desperation lingered in her eyes “i love you, and i’m so fucking sorry”
you dipped your head and pursed your lips, letting her know of your approval before fully opening the door and beginning a solemn ascent to your friends apartment.
“i know”
On my last strength against you
Baby, tell me what you need
it had been 6 days. 6 agonizingly long days.
she had nothing but time to think, and yet, she couldn’t seem to gather her thoughts at the same time. her mind was everywhere, bouncing from regret and guilt, to anger and dissatisfaction, and of course the remorse and pain. this is what caitlin was afraid of doing, pushing herself so far away that it had finally gotten to you. she’d gotten caught up in her head so deep that she failed to realize how much you were hurting. she’d never forgive herself for this.
everything felt gloomier without you, she noticed that now. there was a certain comfort in you being there, even if she did ignore you and push you to the side, you’d always be there and she abused that luxury. from the moment you left the essence of your shared home shifted uncomfortably. it was like a storm had unleashed its wicked winds to reign terror over the household, dulling your spirt that had kept it so pleasant and welcoming.
but she had to admit, the time was good. she needed to sit and make a change, promise herself that she’d get better for you. even if that did mean she’d have to sleep alone for a few nights, order takeout because her cooking would never amount to yours, brush her teeth before bed and come home from practice with you nowhere in sight. it was a necessary torture, but only temporary, she reminded herself. maybe she’d never know why she was acting the way she was, have to come to terms with the fact that she’s a shitty girlfriend and doesn’t deserve the apology she hoped you were willing to give. but despite knowing or not knowing, at least she could catch the poison that was her troubled subconscious before it could sink too deep. it was time to give up the self loathing and internal ridiculing. she wouldn’t let herself hurt you anymore
caitlin had always struggled with holding herself to an unachievable standard, convincing herself that she would never be enough or worthy of all this attention. she couldn’t believe that so many people wanted to watch her play, that she was first pick and that she was finally playing pro like she always wanted-part of her thought it was too good to be true. but she didn’t want to wake up from this implausible dream, forcing herself to go above and beyond just to hold onto it. and in the process, she’d forgotten to make time for you too. it was foolish, to ignore you like she had, you were her everything. every waking moment, at every practice and at every game, you consumed the entirety of her mind. at the end of the day, she was doing this all for you.
it was easy to get lost in the fame and the excitement and the pressure, but it shouldn’t have been enough to make her neglect you. nonetheless, she managed to do it anyways. so she took these 6 days to reflect and really target why she felt like she needed to act like this. she would go to the ends of the earth for you, willing to pick herself apart if it meant making it up to you.
Come into my bedroom
Come into my bedroom
her foot tapped nervously against the coir fiber of your friends doormat. a faded “welcome” written in black felt contradictory as she tried to find the motivation to knock. you hadn’t texted or called, hadn’t reached out to caitlin at all to let her know you were ready. but she needed you like she needed air and just had to see you. she had to finally apologize for how terrible she was acting, beg for your forgiveness because being away from you was eating her alive.
she let out a shaky breath as her closed fist met with the white wooden door, sending a loud pounding noise through the other side. caitlin could hear your friends dog barking and scratching against the door, followed by rushed footsteps that got increasingly closer. she barley had a moment to regather her thoughts before the door was pulled open harshly.
“caitlin?” your friend came into view, disheveled as she tried to keep her dog from running out the door. she quirked her eyebrows at caitlin’s presence, shocked and confused-and definitely a little angry-as to why she was at her door “what’re you doing here?”
“i um,” caitlin cleared her throat as if to stall, wanting more time to think of the right thing to say “i was hoping i could talk to-”
“i don’t think she’s ready to see you, cait” your friend muttered, trying to keep her voice down so you couldn’t hear. and you probably didn’t, caitlin was extremely aware of that.
“i know i know” caitlin urged “but i just need to see her ok? i need to make this right”
your friend chewed at the inside of her cheek as if contemplating her next move. you were her best friend and she’d do anything to protect you. after a few seconds, she shook her head and began closing the door, offering caitlin an apology and a goodbye as caitlin continued to beg for just one chance.
“no please, just let me see her! just a few minutes!” she said louder this time, slotting her sneaker clad foot in the doorway “i just need a second i swear to god-”
your friend put all she could into getting caitlin to leave, trying to push her out the door as quickly as possible. but she was persistent and continued her pleas.
somewhere in between the endless banter, through caitlin’s desperate cries and your friends agitated dismissals, came the answer to caitlin’s prayers. you were napping in the guest bedroom when she walked up the steps to your friends home, having been exhausted from sobbing throughout the night. just like caitlin, you hated sleeping alone. but your efforts to seek out peace were quickly interrupted when you heard subtle shouts from the the other room. curious and worried when you heard your friend raise her voice, you hurried to see what the commotion was all about.
you were surprised to the see the scene unfolding in front of you. your friend wrangling the door shut as her legs fought to keep the dog at bay, cussing out whoever was behind the door. you could’ve about laughed at her antics until you suddenly realized who it was that she was trying to shut out. you had assumed maybe an ex or maybe even a family member would have been the culprit, but the long silky black hair that glimmered through the gap in the door quickly corrected you.
“caitlin?” you questioned just as your friend had before. you stood back a few feet front the door, although your voice was loud enough to make the both of them stop.
their heads both whipped in your direction, the door creaking open wider so you could see her in full view. your friend huffed, rambling about how she thought you were asleep and how she was sorry that they had woken you up. but you discarded her as your eyes locked with your girlfriends. there was a certain look of grief in her eyes, the color almost fogging over in despair. your head told you to look away, the sight too depressing to stand, but your heart yearned for her nonetheless, unable to tear your eyes from her.
“YN” she spoke. it was like a cliche movie scene, like out of a fairytale, when the prince sees his princess in her natural beauty for this first time. whist she was hardly a prince and you hardly looked the part of a princess, the feeling was all the same. that feeling of reassurance and love. you were here, right here in front of her in your pajamas and bunny slippers, and suddenly she felt some sort of relief wash over her.
you walked over to them, assuring your friend that it was ok and asking her to give you some privacy. she walked away hesitantly after giving your shoulder a supportive squeeze. she shot caitlin a disapproving glare as she disappeared back into the house. you ushered caitlin to follow you out to the front porch, motioning to the swing that croaked in the afternoon breeze.
“what’re you doing here cait?” you asked, not looking at her, as you settled on the swings cushion, using your foot to keep it from rocking back and forth “i thought we agreed to take some time”
she took the spot next to you slowly as if not to scare you off, she worried she’d mess this up with you. she so badly wanted to reach over, rest her hand against your thigh and feel the soft skin of your palm rest atop it. but she opted for her own lap, picking at her nails mindlessly.
“i know,” a sigh that had nestled deep in her chest had finally met its release when she began “but i couldn’t take it anymore. this week has been fucking torture for me…i had to see you”
sadness washed over you for a moment, like the sun in a day of mist when it has nothing to shine upon, only dissipating when you felt her shoulder brush against yours. there was almost a faint smile on the corner of your lips, you’d also missed her touch over these past few days. but reality was cruel as it brought you back to the present moment.
“it’s torture for me too” you admitted. you despised being away from her, constantly yearning to be with her whenever she was away.
“really?”
“of course” you snorted, shaking your head as you look out across your friends lawn. you eyed the hydrangea bushes that weaved its way through the porch railings, the patches of yellow that spread through the grass-what a statement to question “i always miss you when we’re apart, why wouldn’t i?”
it sounded stupid to say, you realized once the words left your mouth. nothing you had done would insinuate you missing her, especially leaving her to wallow in your apartment alone, if anything it did quite the opposite.
“cause i’ve been a fucking asshole” she blurted “i wouldn’t miss me either to be honest”
she wasn’t lying, she was an asshole. the pain and loneliness that you endured over the past several months were dreadful, and she was finally ready to admit that it was all her fault. there were no more excuses to hide behind, not when your relationship was at stake. as she reminisced on the many years you’d been in each others lives, she found no reason to validate her behavior. you were everything she could ever need, ever want, and she was taking that for granted.
“nothing could stop me from missing you, cait”
a bitter taste filled your mouth as you anxiously responded to her. you’d been biting down on your lip so hard that you had started to bleed, barely even noticing it through the stiff tension between you. it was silent again for a while as you both pondered on your next moves. should caitlin beg for your forgiveness, get on her knees in front of you and cry? or maybe it should be you, convincing the both of you it was a misunderstanding and you should just forgive her and go home? you’d been straining yourself with your own stubbornness and you didn’t know how much longer you could keep it up. part of you wanted to hold your ground and let her know that you wouldn’t except this treatment, but the other part of you just wanted to fall into her embrace and forget about the whole thing. but before you could conquer this battle within your brain, caitlin beat you to it with a rapid burst.
“baby, i-” she said, stoping herself to think-was she even allowed to call you that anymore? her tongue clicked and her eyes squeezed shut, this feeling of guilt was insurmountable “i can’t tell you how sorry i am. how much i regret everything”
she sounded defeated as she fought to get the words out, a whimper threatening to spill at any moment. her nose stung as she sniffled back cries. she thought she’d never get through this, that she wouldn’t even be able to look you in the eyes. but to much of her dismay, your delicate hand met with hers, forcing her fidgety fingers to relax. she turned her head to look at you through damp lashes, and finally seeing your sparkling eyes looking back at hers, found the courage to continue.
“i get so…caught up in myself, and i forget about what’s right in front of me. practice, games, all the hate i’ve been getting recently-christ everything just starts beating down on me and i get so lost. i isolate myself and i push away anyone who tries to break through this damn wall i’ve put up..and when they do..i just end up hurting them” she watched your face contort as she spoke, your lips turning downward to a sympathetic frown. you were always too sweet to her, too good for this world “and that’s what i’ve done to you, the most amazing person in my life and i won’t ever forgive myself for it”
“honey..” the pet named rolled off your tongue effortlessly. caitlin would be lying if she said that hearing it didn’t put her mind at ease. you stuttered, trying to find the words yet again, but she urged you to let her finish.
“i’ve let my shit get in the way of loving you the way you should be. there’s no excuse for how i’ve treated you since the move to indy-not tough games or being homesick or any of that-and i’ve regretted every minute of it. you don’t deserve to go to bed alone just because i was upset, o-or to feel like you have to deal with your stuff by yourself…i know moving has been hard on you, especially since your entire family is back home…and the fact that i haven’t been any support to you is unacceptable and i take full blame for that. and for everything else too, like making you feel neglected? it’s fucking breaking my heart knowing that that’s what i’ve caused, that i’m never around and that i’ve been the furthest thing from a girlfriend. we’re supposed to be a team, we are a team, and all i’ve done is let you carry the weight of both of us. i’m so incredibly sorry and i’ll keep saying it until you believe me”
her chest rose and fell ever so faintly as she breathed deeply. she had run out of air as the words left her in a haste, eager to get her apology out. these past days were spent planning each word, each motion, each action so meticulously and she needed it to work.
and with her final huff, there was a gentle silence again, the wind chimes hanging from your friends porch ceiling clinked softly together. you removed your hand from caitlin’s, letting it rise to her and face and resting it on her cheekbone. the pad of your thumb rubbed into her soft skin, feeling the prominence of her defined cheekbone. she felt warm, probably worked up from the heightened emotions, but it was soothing in a way.
“i believe you, cait” you breathed. you felt her instantly relax into you, the weight of her head pressing into your palm. her eyes fluttered shut and her brows furrowed, she felt undeserving of your reluctance “and i know you’re sorry, it’s okay”
“it’s not” she mumbled against your hand “it’s far from okay. and i’m going to do everything i can to gain your trust back”
“you’re right, it’s not. but i know you’re actually sorry…and you don’t need to gain my trust back, babe. you’ve always had it” her lips quirked when she heard the lighthearted tone of your voice “you really hurt me, and these past few days have been straight from hell. but the fact that you came and owned up to it all shows me that you’re going to work on it”
she nodded frantically, agreeing with every word. because it was true, she’d go the extra mile to ensure you never felt like this again.
“i can’t imagine a world in which i’m not spending eternity with you..so i’m willing to forgive, but my heart won’t be able to bare this again and i need you to promise me it won’t happen in the future. i know you have so much going on in your life, you’ve gone through a lot, but it can’t continue to get in the way of us. i’m here for a reason, to listen and to help in any way i can. please talk to me instead of shutting me out-i want to be there for you okay?”
“of course, i’m going to be better. for you. you deserve more than what i’ve shown you and that’s far from how i want to be, we’re in this together and i want to change. i love you so fucking much and it’ll never happen again”
with a hand still on her cheek and a smile tugging at your lips, you leaned in closer to her. the denim of your jeans rubbed against the swing cushions as you moved nearly into her lap, close enough to press your lips to hers. you could tell the kiss caught her off guard when you felt her body jolt, but quickly relaxing when she fell under your enchantment.
it was a feeling that was hard to explain, like a flame being reignited or a spark nestling in the depth of your chest. you hadn’t kissed caitlin in quite some time, and when you did all that time ago, it had felt meaningless. but here it was different, the taste of jovial tears mixing with that of your lips, creating a rejuvenated feeling of love and adoration. there as a kick to this kiss as she pulled you in deeper, her hand coming to the back of your head to cradle you. it felt good again and you couldn’t be more grateful.
“i love you too”
Come into my bedroom
Come into my bedroom
it had been about a week or so since you decided you were ready to come home and work on healing your relationship with caitlin, and it had already been going better than you had expected. even though the conversation on your best friends porch went smoothly, you had only imagined the fights and anger that would be exchanged once you came home. but caitlin had shown quite the change already and you could already feel the rips and holes of your relationship beginning to mend. she had been just as doting and soft as she was at the beginning of your relationship.
she was treating you to candlelit dinners, drawing you the most relaxing baths, and fitting time into her schedule for you no matter how long it might be. she even took you golfing with her and was dragging you along to outings with the team and occasional press events. you hadn’t felt this excited in a long time, it was like you were crushing on her all over again.
for the first time since your life started in indiana, the little things were beginning to matter.
and now it was a quiet weekend night in, the plushness of the living room carpet weaving between your bare toes as caitlin’s hands rested quaintly on your hips. the furniture had been been pushed off to the outskirts of the room in order to give your bodies plenty of space to sway freely. the overhead light fixture had been long forgotten once the evening sunset began to bleed through the window, creating the sweetest source of light. the old record player, the one you brought with you when you moved away from home, sat on the the table in the corner as it spun yours and caits favorite album. the tune hummed quietly as its scratchy notes bounced off the walls, yet it was perfect for a night like this.
maybe it was cheesy, the way you and caitlin rocked side to side as you danced in your pajamas to sappy love songs, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. it was like a page out of the romance novels you read in high school. you were convinced this was all you needed in life, no luxury clothes or fancy dates, just you and caitlin soaking each other in as you danced around the apartment. it healed something in you as she spun you in her arms, laughing heartily when you stumbled. she was finally back to being your caity girl once more.
“what?” you giggled breathlessly after catching yourself from almost falling, pushing a loose strand of hair out of your face. she was staring at you when you faced her again, dimples evident as she grinned at you. her eyes had a softness to them, similar to the softness of her hand that snuck under your shirt to lightly pinch your side.
"nothin'" she shook her head with a wavering sigh "you're just...everything i've ever dreamed of, and i don't know- i just can't believe this is real"
she seemed choked up, in genuine disbelief that you were standing right in front of her, and it made your heart melt. it was moments like these that you craved, where her walls came down and she was completely herself with you. no pressure to look strong or tough, no holding back tears or true emotions, just pure love.
"of course it's real cait" you titled your head with an appreciative pout. you pulled her in with a comforting hand to the back of her head, leveraging yourself on your tiptoes to place a kiss to her forehead "what do you mean, baby?"
"like," she tried to find the words as she cleared her throat "like i can't believe that you're still with me. i don't know anyone who would stay through anything like the pain i've cause you. and the fact that you're right here in front of me, been so patient with me and understanding...i just feel so undeserving"
"hey, of course you're deserving" you politely scolded "we all make mistakes and sometimes they're bigger than we intend. but i love you more than words can describe and i know you've been trying to mend them. everyone has rough patches in their relationships, but i'm here to stay, caitlin. i'm not going anywhere"
you watched as her shoulders fell drastically; it was apparent that your words meant more than you had originally thought. she had always need reassurance, having always doubted herself in anything she did, and it was an unmatchable feeling knowing that you were the one to soother her. she nodded, not saying anything as leaned into you even more. so, you confided, not prying for a response. this vulnerability was already a big step for her.
you rested your forehead against hers, arms coming to loop around her neck. her long lashes fluttered as they tickled yours. the music was still playing in the background, allowing you both to fall into another oscillating rhythm. although it was cut short again when you felt her lips part, a quiet voice barely escaping her.
"it was you" it came out almost inaudible, leaving you confused on whether you hear her correctly or not.
"hm?"
"it was you," she said clearly this time, foreheads till touching and eyes shut in romantic bliss "from the second we met i knew it was going to be you. like a soulmate or life partner..whatver you want to call it, i just knew that you were going to be it for me"
as you stand there, your heart races, the world about stops spinning. each syllable strikes a chord deep within you, resonating with the echoes of past moments you’ve cherished with her. you could hear those words over and over and never get tired of it. The weight of uncertainty from the past months finally lifts, replaced by an exhilaration that makes everything else fade into the background. nothing else mattered anymore, no stress and no disdain for the road ahead, just you, caitlin, and an eternity together.
"you're it for me too," you said "in every lifetime"
-
A/N: FINALLY!! it's finished!! i definitely didn't spell check this, so if you catch any mistakes, feel free to DM me so i can fix it! i love you and thank you for your patience with this fic :')
#caitlin clark#caitlin clark x reader#lesbian#wlw#foreingersgod#wcbb#wcbb x reader#iowa wbb#wnba imagine#wnba x reader#wnba#indiana fever#i love caitlin clark#cc#cc x reader#caitlin x reader#wnba basketball#wlw imagine#lesbian imagine#champagne coast#blood orange
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I NEED SOMETHING ABOUT FIRST KISS WITH KUROO BECAUSE I’M RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS, and you’re the only writer i enjoy sooo👀👀 love ya!!
⊹ ࣪ ˖First Kiss⊹ ࣪ ˖
Haikyuu boys x Reader
— Summary: Some hc about what your first kiss with him would be like!
— Characters: Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa, Atsumu.
— Tags/Genre: Fluff | Gn!Reader | Headcanons
— Warnings: None!
Kuroo Tetsurou
In my opinion, this is not his first time in a relationship, which implies that this was not his first kiss either. Even though his previous relationships may not have lasted as long as his current one with you.
But even though it's not his first time, it really seems like it is, because he's a bit nervous!!😭
He likes you so much and thinks you're so beautiful, that he can't stop thinking about what his first kiss with you would be like.
Sometimes there are moments when he would stare at your lips when you weren't looking, imagining what your lips would feel like on his.
His first kiss was definitely something spontaneous, and even though he already had this idea in his head, he didn't plan for this to be the exact moment.
HEAR ME OUT!! He LOVES watching you do anything, whether it's schoolwork, cooking, or even talking about your interests.
And he can't help but fall even more in love with you when you do something you like, the sparkle in your eyes and your bright smile make him all silly...🤭
He's looking at you with such admiration that he doesn't even realize he just said "I wanna kiss you so bad..."
After that he almost died of embarrassment, but at least he got to kiss you.👁👁
Bokuto Koutarou
This boy definitely kissed you within a second of you two deciding to date (if you were comfortable with it, of course)
To try to win you over and also understand romantic things, he spent a considerable amount of time watching romance movies and series, no matter how cheesy and cliché they were, for him it was all the same thing.
And he's definitely tried something embarrassing that he saw in one of these, like suddenly starting to sing in the school hallway while you were walking by.
Akaashi definitely put this on his list of his concerns for Bokuto, trying as much as possible to avoid him making a fool of himself in front of you and everyone who was there...💀
When you had your first kiss, even though he was very excited about the idea of kissing you, he was definitely embarrassed, very embarrassed indeed.
So it's to be expected that some accident will probably happen, like him accidentally hitting your teeth, or keeping his eyes open during it.😭😭
Oikawa Tooru
I think he's the only one on this list who I dare say has more experience when it comes to relationships, since it is actually canon that he already had a girlfriend.
So I think he would be a good kisser, maybe.
He would definitely be making jokes about how you want to kiss him so bad anytime you praise him or something like that(when in reality it's him who wants you SO bad)
Even if he made such jokes with you, Oikawa would definitely be very respectful towards you. He wouldn't be upset or sad if you're not ready for your first kiss yet, he would love you anyway!!!
But the moment you say or make some implied movement that you want to kiss him, he will freak out internally.
I imagine him being someone very vain, always leaving his hair impeccable and his skin always in perfect condition, then I think his lips would be very soft on yours.
After that he would love to grab any opportunity to kiss you again, he really has no shame in showing physical affection in public.😭
Atsumu Miya
If someone asked him if he had ever kissed anyone, he would say "Of course I has!!" with a smug smile, but the truth is that he has never even dated anyone in his life......
Every time Osamu remembers this fact, he always makes sure his brother remembers it too (which always causes a fight between the two)
The truth is he's a big idiot who's too focused on volleyball to think about anything else.
He really tries to come across as the nonchalant and charming one when he's with you, but the truth is he feels like he's going to faint at any second.
The moment you two are about to kiss, he'll be all red and a little nervous, but of course he tries to hide it from you (and fails miserably every time)...
But after you kiss, he'd shrug his shoulders and say: "I know I'm amazing," when in reality he had no idea what he was doing.
And get ready, because after that he'll seem 10 times more annoying than usual, wanting to kiss you at any moment and whining when you reject him.💀
— A/N: IT'S LESS THAN A WEEK UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY YIPEEE!!!!!😆😆
I hope you don't mind, but I added a few more characters to mix it up a bit!! But if you don't like it, I can change it for you, just let me know!
I didn't review what I wrote because I'm very lazy, so please forgive me if there are any spelling mistakes, and if you can point out what they are I'll be grateful!😭
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu headcanons#hq x reader#hq#hq fluff#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#haikyuu x gn!reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo x reader#bokuto koutaro x reader#bokuto x reader#oikawa tooru x reader#oikawa x reader#miya atsumu x reader#atsumu x reader
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hiii! could u write some head cannons for Caitlin?
DATING CAITLIN CLARK HEADCANONS
authors note : i’ve actually been wanting to do this for a while but procrastinating smmm. But thank you to the person who requested this ! And i’m making a tag list ! dm me to be apart of it <3
requested by : anon
caitlin clark x reader headcanons
warnings : none
• Overprotective girlfriend who hates when you give anyone else your attention.
• “Well it seems like your friends company is better than mine.”
• Her mind is full of smart remarks, always giving an attitude whenever something doesn’t go the way she planned
• You always catching her mid eye roll and scolding her for it.
• Caitlin would try and teach you every sport she’s good at. Or trying to teach you the basics so you’d understand them.
• You two most definitely have a secret handshake, which Caitlin spent hours perfecting
• You help her pack for away games because she has absolutely no idea how to pack a suitcase the right way
• Her camera roll being full of pictures of you, and her lockscreen being a photo of you two
• Caitlin gifting you a necklace with her initials for your birthday, never wanting you to take it off.
• Always having her arm around your waist when in public, giving every stranger that looks your way an intimidating look.
• Hating when you aren’t able to attend her basketball games because she considers you to be her good luck charm
• Caitlin would refuse to talk to anyone except you after loosing a game, too upset to conversation with anyone else
• She’s always quick to shut down any hate targeted towards you, not caring who’s feelings she hurts.
• Caitlin giving you unnecessary attitude for no reason
• “Well no duh. Who didn’t know that already?”
• Her bringing you up in interviews and loving to showcase your beauty during special events
• An absolute sucker for naps, she falls asleep on your chest while watching movies
• The two of you clearing your schedule to have saturday rest days, to just stay home and cuddle all day long
• Caitlin refusing to let anyone touch her hair except you. Not trusting anyone else to do her signature ponytail except herself or you
• Always trying to take you on surprise dates no matter what day of the week it is.
• Always buying you shoes that’ll match hers.
• When she gets a new pair of sneakers, she’ll see if you want them too
• Caitlin having you wear her jerseys at almost all of her games so people know you’re taken.
• Her trying to assemble every piece of furniture you guys own by herself and refusing help
• You two would definitely have promise rings that would never come off of your fingers.
• Caitlin refusing to let you open the car door yourself and always wanting to open it for you
• Asking you to do her makeup for special events, because she doesn’t want anyone close to her face except you.
• You two definitely being dog moms and spoiling the pets like they’re real children.
• Caitlin hating when it’s her turn to doing the dishes, and procrastinating when it’s time to do so.
• “Well, it’s not my fault the sink isn’t getting hot enough!”
• You buying matching pajamas for the two of you and Caitlin pretending to hate them when she loves them.
#anon <3#thanks anon!#caitlin clark x reader#caitlin clark#iowa wbb#iowa hawkeyes#wlw#caitlin clark headcanons
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Inhaled everything on ur masterlist in 1 night, my boss asked me why i looked like i got no sleep 😅. (it was WELL worth it) 😴 MAY I PLEASE REQUEST a Suguru Geto X chubby reader i am so normal for geto and ur fics plsplsplspls
You're writing is FANTASTIC it makes me feel all fuzzy jdjfjfjdkf
- 🍭
Berries and Chocolate!
Summary: Suguru loves summertime because his beloved chubby girlfriend wear a shorts!!
Characters: Geto Suguru x AFAB!Reader
Word Count: 2,163
Warnings: smut, making out, body worship, a little food play if you squint!
A/N: As a chubby girl myself I loved writing this! Sure fun sexy and sweet (edit: it would help if I posted the story!! Lolol I'm sleep deprived!!)
Geto Suguru loved summertime. He got to take trips to the beach with you and the girls, and work was less busy, and you wore shorts. Let’s rewind a bit. You rarely wore shorts, tank tops, or dresses, all because you were insecure about your body. You had a big butt, thick thighs, and a tummy that Suguru loved. He thought every inch of you was perfect. However, we’re still insecure despite that.
Suguru would always try to hype you up, telling you how beautiful you were and buying you dresses he thought would look amazing on you, but you never would cave. From fall to early spring, it was always tights and sweaters. Which you looked amazing in! You looked beautiful in a hoodie and a tank top. But your boyfriend would be lying if he said he didn’t love it when you were short and spaghetti straps.
There was something about seeing your plump skin, how your thighs rubbed together, how he could see your breasts spilling over your bra. Your tummy, your thick thighs were. Everything about you was perfection to him. Despite him telling you that on multiple occasions, you still got shy, insisting to leave your shirt on when you had sex. Of course, your boyfriend wanted to see every inch of you, but he wouldn’t push you if you weren’t comfortable doing it.
However, your insecurities melted away when the days got longer and hotter, and the sun would blaze down on you. Because in the summer heat, you wore the least clothes you could. Making your boyfriend go feral, seeing your plump, perfect body. Seeing you hardly usually played the same way it always did. You were thrown over his shoulder and getting fucked within an inch of your life. Even though you both ended up a sweaty mess afterward.
Today was the hottest day of the year thus far. It was hot and humid, making the temperature rise. Thank God he always carried an extra hair tie because sweat was running down the nape of Suguru’s neck, making him groan. The heat was almost unbearable, but the prospect of getting inside the cool apartment had his feet moving faster across the hot pavement, longing to get inside and cool off, climb the stairs, hurry towards your shared apartment, eager to see you and chug down an ice cold glass of water.
“I’m home,” he announced as he kicked his shoes off, dropping his jacket to the floor before locking the door. We need an answer into the cool apartment, looking around. “Princess?”
“In the kitchen!” Chances were, if you were in the kitchen making dinner, there was a 50-50 chance you were using the stove or oven. If either of those were involved, he knew the apartment would increase in heat. After a long day of being out in the sun, he had had enough to last the whole week.
“Hey.” Rubbing his hand at the back of his neck, he said, “Maybe we could buy something for dinner?”
He found it as chili as the rest of the apartment. “Oh, I’m not making dinner!” His eyes followed the sound of your voice, and holy fuck; you were hot.
You were standing at the kitchen island in Black booty shorts that rode up, showing the curves of your plump ass. The band of your shorts dug into your hips, making some of your spill over the edge. You were topless, literally topless, with no shirt, no bra, just a white apron hooked over your neck and tied around your waist. Seeing your bareback on full display, Suguru’s jaw was on the floor.
“I’m making some chocolate-covered strawberries.” Your thighs jiggle as you reach over the counter, grabbing a ripe red berry from a bowl. “It’s going to be a nice cold treat for later.” When there’s no response from your loving boyfriend, you turn slightly to look up at him, showing off the side of your bare breast. “Sugu?”
Before you can even register what’s going on, Suguru has you pressed against the counter, making you gasp out, as his hands quickly work to untie the apron from around your waist. His hands grip your plump hips, gripping them and massaging them eagerly, pressing his fingers into you. His lips press against your neck, nipping and licking at your skin as his hands ever so slowly trail up and over your stomach. Gently, fingers brush over the stretch marks that line your tummy before trailing up higher and higher until his hands grope your entire breasts.
The feeling of his lips against your neck, his hands groping your breasts, and the feeling of him rocking his hard erection of your ass makes you dizzy. Your fingers, speckled with chocolate, grip the edge of the counter, holding it tight for support as Suguru rolls his hips roughly against yours, his cock throbbing inside his pants. His eagerness makes your mouth go dry as you tilt your head back, giving him more room to lick and nip at your sensitive skin.
”So fucking beautiful.” Suguru grunts against your skin, causing goosebumps to rise in his messy kisses. “Princess, you’re so fucking breathtaking.”
The desperate tone in his voice leaves no doubt in your mind that he speaks the truth, from the hoarseness behind his words to the desperation in his touch. Your raven-haired boyfriend was enthralled by you, leaving you a messy bundle of limbs. Whenever he got feral like this, your mind would go blank, jaw slack as you averted from his peering eyes. Every time he would look at you, there was a raw desire that always had you squirming eagerly against him because you wanted him just as bad.
“S-Suguru—“A wanton moan passes through your lips as he twists and pulls at your sensitive nipple between his thumb and index finger. “W-What’s gotten into you, baby?”
The twisting assault on your sensitive buds comes to a stop as Suguru somehow manages to pull his mouth away from your neck. “What’s gotten into me?” His warm, calloused hands leave your breasts, tugging the apron off completely before turning you around to face him. “You.” His hands are on your hips again, lifting you onto the kitchen island and sitting you on the cool marble counter.
Like clockwork, your hands reach down to cover your plush tummy from his view. His hands gently wrap around your wrists, pulling your hands away, allowing him to take you in. Your tummy rolls slightly as you sit up straight, and the stretch marks that line your stomach and thighs also line the sides of your perfect breasts. His hands grope the soft flesh of your tits, squeezing them and massaging them gently and trying to put his appreciation of your body into every gentle squeeze and caress of his touch.
He was obsessed with you and your body. There was no doubt or question about that. When Suguru touched you, you could feel how much he adored you. The erection in his pants told you how much he wanted you just the way that you were. Where you saw insecurity, he saw perfection.
“Me?” You gasp out as he slides your panties and shorts to the side, revealing your wet, dripping cunt.
“Yes,” he snarls loudly against your ear as the handrails back up to your breasts, squeezing them together. “You all of you, you’re perfect.” Heaps his tongue over both your nipples before sucking on both of them. “Mmm~”
The feeling of his warm, wet mouth and circling your sensitive buds has your back arching up against him: your plump stomach, his muscular chest. For a second, you almost pull away. Thinking that you won’t wear, they did such an exquisite specimen as himself with your body. When Suguru feels the slight shift of your weight, when you’re about to move away from him and his mouth, he releases one of his hands, wrapping around your body, pulling you flush against his chest, grinding his hard cock over your exposed pussy.
He watches slick coats his pants in his string of arousal. The sight of your wetness coating his still-covered erection sends shivers down his spine. He loves watching the way your thighs jiggle with each thrust against your clothed core. But he loves the sharp moans and inhales of breath that escapes your chest as your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to your incredibly sexy body.
With a sharp pop, Suguru pulls himself off your breasts. “I love you, my beautiful Princess,” Suguru whispered as he pressed his forehead against yours.
“I-I love you too.” The words come out in a breathless, singsong voice.
“God, I want you so bad.”
“Oh—“ Suguru watches your smaller hands work to unlatch his belt and unzip the zipper, “you can have me~ all of me~”
Suguru excitedly pulled his cock out, eager to please his Princess. With a smug grin, he grabbed her thighs before sliding your hips to the edge and grinding up against you. "God, you're so fucking soft~ Fuckin' love you~let me worship your body."
“I love you too~” you purred like a cat in heat. “Fuck~ yes, you can worship me.” Gentle hands grip your boyfriends shoulders. “You always make sure to do it~.”
He chuckled, nodding as he kissed down your neck before up to your mouth, pressing chaste, eager kisses against your lips. "Oh, I plan on it, princess~” Sliding a hand down, Suguru guides his cock slowly into your pussy. Hissing at the wetness that coats his tip, he pushes himself inside the tight muscles that pull him further inside.
“Oooh, good God.” Your back arched, pressing against his chest. You whimpered as the smell of fresh berries and chocolate flooded your senses. Suguru pushed into you, grabbing the counter and shifting the bowls. “Suguru~”
Suguru moved one of his hands to grip your back, forcing you to arch into him, and he thrust upwards, burying his cock deep into you. "I'll worship you every day, princess~"
“Oh, holy fuck!” You squeaked out as your eyes rolled back. The pleasure that rocked through you made stars twinkle behind your eyes. “Ooooh, my fuckin’ god.”
Your sweet, loving boyfriend laughed against you, kissing and biting at the soft skin around her shoulder and neck. "Oh, you're fucking delicious, baby~" his arm tightened around you while his other hand groped your hip, massaging you as he snapped his hips forward.
“Suguru~” A warm, rich laugh escaped you as you glanced down at him, the rays of the afternoon sun reflecting off your hair. Reaching into the bowl next to you, scooped up some white chocolate before smearing it all over Suguru’s lips. “Oooh~ I can’t wait to taste you~”
The feeling of you smearing chocolate against his lips made him growl, your beauty, and the dirty innuendos coming from your lips. He bucked up into you like a madman, desperate to make you cum, desperate to fill you up with his cum. "Fuck—fuck—Ahn!!" He growled, his cock throbbing inside you as he slammed his chocolate-covered lips against yours in a bone-chilling kiss.
Screams of pleasure flooded Suguru’s mouth as you cried out. Your toes curled as the taste of your boyfriend and chocolate washed over your tastebuds and lingered with the faint traces of strawberries. The intensity of the kiss, the feeling of his cock slamming into your g-spot and cervix, has you squirting as you came. You dug your fingers in his hair as your body arched against Suguru’s. Fuck, fuck he felt so good. It was intoxicating, so much so that you rolled your hips, eager to feel him cum inside you.
Luckily, you didn’t need to ask or beg for him to do so. Watching you come undone, feeling your plump legs, stomach, and breast jiggle, and the aftershocks of your orgasm. It was enough to send you tumbling over the edge. Suguru let out a roar of a moan against your mouth; your pussy tightening around him was just too much. He cummed inside, his hand tightening around her hip as he emptied his balls inside of you.
Sitting there in post-orgasmic bliss, you hummed in pleasure, your chocolate-covered finger running down his biceps. “Fuck~ Suguru~.” Your kiss-swollen lips pressed against his cheek as he recovered his senses.
"You have such an amazing body, Princess.” Suguri practically purred, kissing your neck and shoulder with a slight grumble. “God, you're fucking beautiful ~ I love every inch of you.” He threw you over his shoulder, grabbing the bowl of strawberries before stacking the chocolate on top. “Say it’s laundry day, right?”
“Ahh!” you giggled, looking over your shoulder at him. “Yeah! I just haven't changed the sheets yet.”
“Good, because we're about to make them dirty.” what could Suguru say? Your plump, beautiful body always had him ready to go!
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