#why does it have to be so complicated to write?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
gonna be writing down some of my favourite bits from pili's out-of-character Q&A today ^^ here's him talking about his character's relationship with pangi and badboyhalo
(source: Dtowngato 22 Jan 2025 TALKING ABOUT MY CHARACTER The Realm SMP --- ( Main Account @/dtowncat ), around 1h9min)
Pili: Talking about Pangi and Pili... I feel like my character definitely senses that Pangi has some sort of, like, feelings (...) that aren’t actually mentioned directly. And he feels like- cause a lot of people are like “Why is Pili flirting with a million people when Pangi is there? Like he doesn’t see that Pangi is literally giving so many clues and things, and (...)”. That’s where the avoidant attachment thing goes through, because since he sees these other things (Pili flirting with everyone) as little silly games (...) and just being silly and whimsical... It’s like, when he’s with Pangi, he knows that Pangi may actually mean it. (...) And that’s where he gets like kinda- push him away, or whatever.
It’s just like... complicated. So since he doesn’t really want that to happen, he doesn’t really actually want a romantic relationship- (...) that’s where he kinda starts pushing Pangi away. And I feel like a great example for this is that my character does not want deep emotions or attachments to anyone. To anyone at all. Even Pangi. And that’s why he hates him, in a way, and that’s why he calls him his weakness. Because for example, the reason why to this point I feel like my character has been more comfortable with Badboyhalo, telling him more secret things, being more open to him, is because I think my character and Badboyhalo both understand themselves very well in that aspect. And he also knows that Badboyhalo won’t actually get a deep attachment to him. Like if he dies, he knows Badboyhalo will be like “Aww, that’s sad” and then he’ll just move on with his life. Cause that’s kinda like his normal thing to do. He knows that if something happens and he has to ditch Badboyhalo, he won’t have some sort of explosive emotional reaction to it, and he won’t throw his life away, he’ll just keep going. Which I think that’s why right now my character and Badboyhalo are very close, even closer than Pangi and Pili.
For example, on the first divorce arc, Pangi- it was also kind of a test, because Pili knew that he was gonna go fight people, that he may not come out alive. And he was trying to push him away so Pangi wouldn’t do something stupid to try and save him. (...) Because he knew that Badboyhalo wouldn’t do anything to save him. That’s the difference, okay? Because he knew that Pangi would be dumb enough to act emotionally and try to stop the fight or do something to stop it or like, if he died, he would go crazy. And I think Pangi proved my character’s point, which was- when he tried to push him away, he was like “Alright, that’s it, I’m killing everyone, I’m ending the world, and I’m ending myself”. Which my character really doesn’t like that sort of- thing.
My character knows that he’s not a good person, he knows that he’s not done good things, he knows that sometimes he’s an asshole, and... he knows that he has insanely self-destructive tendencies. He just has this sort of thing where he keeps putting himself to suffer and suffer and suffer, and that’s part of how he is, all the time. And he knows that Pangi won’t take that well, and Pangi will be like “No, Pili! You don’t need to die! I’ll die if you die!” And that kinda rubs him the wrong way, which is also why he kinda has been more distant with Pangi I think. It’s just too complicated, really. It definitely hurts, cause he definitely knows that he has a weak spot for Pangi and vice versa, and they’re definitely some sort of like, platonic soulmates type of situation.
(chatter mentions his conversation with Pangi on Clown’s tower about not wanting Pangi to avenge him) Yeah. He’s just like, dude, I want to do this, and I’ve been doing this for so long, you don’t need to avenge me, you don’t need to go into this villain arc just because I wanted this thing. (...) That’s why nowadays he- I don’t know if you guys noticed, but my character barely tells any secrets to Pangi, and tells everything to Badboyhalo. Which is odd, cause I feel like technically Pangi and Pili were the closer ones, but it’s more like that kind of- avoidant attachment thing. That is just like pushing him away, in a way. So Pangi doesn’t get hurt, or get involved too much into it.
(chatter suggests that tr!Pili doesn’t like others showing too much emotion) I feel like it’s also a thing like, for example, with Clown, he knows that it’s one-sided, and he likes it being one-sided. Because he- it’s also this thing like, I don’t know how to translate it, but you get the love that you think you deserve. (...) So basically it’s just more like he feels like Pangi is too good for him, and he doesn’t deserve that type of good attention or things. And that’s why he’s always saying like “Oh you should move on with your life, you should find someone else that actually can give you what you probably deserve, because I’m not that person (...). Because I don’t have that sort of behaviour and I don’t have that sort of tendencies and I don’t have that sort of things”.
(chatter asks how tr!Pili would react to Badboyhalo also becoming strongly attached to him) I feel like in the same way, it would definitely start rubbing him the wrong way.
(chatter suggests that he also pushes Pangi away and refuses to become attached because of his mental health) Yeah. Definitely that is true, I feel like my character has definitely suffered a lot and there’s a lotta traumas and things (...) inside. So I feel like he has repeated the cycle so many times, and (...) he doesn’t wanna keep repeating it anymore. He’s down to suffer and be in pain and whatever, be a masochist, just not that route when it implies other people are involved and (...) suffering because of him.
(chatter suggests that Badboyhalo has more predictable reactions to secrets while there are more unknowns with Pangi, and more secrets that might cause Pangi to take immediate action) I don’t know. I don’t know how- Pangi is sometimes too chill about this. I think Pangi definitely has a lot of trust in Mocha (note: mocha is his character (the cat)'s name, although ofc everyone on the realm just uses "pili").
#the realm smp#dtowncat#pili dtowncat#long post#really the only reason i've ever made a single tumblr post is that i love transcribing audio. that's it#i'm not doing any character analysis myself but it's nice to hear the creators' thoughts and what they're trying to do lol
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
So I came across the Mayfair Witches thing with Lestat and Felix, and like pretty much everyone on here I was bummed but then I though about it for a very long time, went through the books again and… here’s how I think they can still make it work. Just as a disclaimer though, I’ve only fully read IWTV and TVL, and am currently like 1/3 through QOTD, so if there’s anything in the books after that that disproves my theory I’m sorry! But since the Lestat/Felix arc takes place towards the end of IWTV, I thought I’d still give it a go.
So the main issue here that people bring up is that if Lestat taught Felix to “cull the herd”, he can’t be book Lestat because book Lestat admits to only killing the “evildoers”, so why would he tell Felix to be so merciless? The answer: it’s complicated.
Lestat, the book and the show version, is unfortunately (or fortunately because that’s part of what makes him so interesting) a man who often does the opposite of what he says. I took a closer look at his first moments with Gabrielle after he turns her, and we have a similar situation in which he’s teaching her how to kill. Here’s an excerpt from it:
“I found a victim as soon as we had crossed the river […] [a]nd as I lured the victim out of the tavern, as I teased him, maddened him, and then took him, I knew I was showing off for her, making it a little crueler, more playful. And when the kill came, it had an intensity to it that left me spent afterwards.” (TVL, p. 147)
When he’s teaching others how to kill, he likes to show off. Simple as that. I’m sure the victim he chose was a criminal, like most his victims, but the point is he never told Gabrielle that. To her knowledge what Lestat just did was brutally murder some random man. Two pages later we have the following passage when Gabrielle makes her first kill and it’s the guy on the horse she ends up stealing the clothes from:
“I was shaken. The innocence of her victims didn’t trouble her. She didn’t fight my moral battles. But then I didn’t fight them anymore either, so why should I judge her? Yet the ease witch which she slew the young man – gracefully breaking his neck when the little drink she took was not enough to kill him – angered me tough it had been extremely exciting to watch. She was colder than I. She was better at all of it, I thought. Magnus had said, “Show no mercy.” But had he meant us to kill when we did not have to kill?” (TVL, pp. 149-150)
Lestat obviously doesn’t feel comfortable killing innocent people, but there’s not one scene in which he either tells someone he’s having moral dilemmas with it, or tells others they shouldn’t kill innocent people. It’s his thing, and it’s his struggle, but he never shares it until he writes about it in TVL. Here’s another excerpt that highlights this:
“When [Louis] says I played with innocent strangers, befriending them and then killing them, how was he to know that I hunted almost exclusively among the gamblers, the thieves, and the killers, being more faithful to my unspoken vow to kill the evildoer than even I had hoped I would be?” (TVL, pp. 434-435)
The key phrase here is “how was he to know”, so Louis had no idea! All this time he spent with Louis, and he never told him that’s what he was doing! Which brings me back to the show, to the reunion moment where Lestat tells Louis “I don’t like to point out my virtues.”
Of course, in the context he’s talking about not telling him he saved him at the trial, but it’s a pretty general statement about himself and it’s true, so far, in the book. He only kills innocent people, never tells anyone about it. He saves Louis at the trial, never tells anyone about it. And while I’ve seen some theories about how him not telling Louis he saved him was part of some pact he made with Armand, I’m just going to take things at face value here until the show proves otherwise.
Lestat always claims he’s “evil” in the books, but he does a whole bunch of stuff to disprove that. I think part of why he doesn’t let people know his good deeds is because there’s a part of him that wants to be perceived as the “evil monster” that he sees himself as. It’s the biggest irony ever for Lestat out of all vampires to claim he’s evil when he’s never acted with malicious intent (in the books, but I would even say in the show as well but the show is more complex in that regard).
The big thing about Lestat, which would also set him apart from show!Louis is that he does his thing and lets others do their thing. He doesn’t interfere with others, doesn’t tell them how to live their lives “the correct way”. Sure, he has many heated discussions about it with Nicki, but those are not him telling Nicki he should live according to his philosophy just because he thinks it’s the correct way to view life. Nicki hates himself at that point, which just gets worse with his way of thinking, and Lestat’s trying to pull him out of that. Nicki’s worldview is actively harmful to him and at least part of the reason for his eventual demise. But that’s not really relevant here, so I’m just going to leave it at that.
Which brings me back to Felix and Lestat. Did he, at some point, go out of his shack to kill people to show Felix how to do it? Not necessarily. The show doesn’t say he did, he could’ve simply just told him how to do it, he did after all figure it out himself too. It’s pretty intuitive I suppose for a vampire, and even when Claudia does her first kill Lestat isn’t shown killing first. He waits in the car with Louis and Claudia manages just fine.
Lestat knows what’s in their nature as vampires, but he himself doesn’t follow it at all times. It’s implied in one of the excerpts above, when he says he’s “being more faithful to [his]unspoken vow to kill the evildoer than even [he] had hoped [he] would be.” He’s not holding himself to any strict rules or high standards here. He’s trying his best, and if he takes an innocent life, he probably feels uncomfortable about it (while he secretly enjoys the feeling) but he’s probably just like “oh well.”
And with Felix, it could absolutely be a situation of do as I say, not as I do. He teaches him what’s in their nature, but he himself chooses to do differently. That, to me, sounds quite a lot like book!Lestat.
Besides, another aspect I’d like to point out is the definition of the word “cull”. Since English isn’t my native language, I had to look it up to really get all the nuances it implies. Here’s what google says:
“Selective slaughter”. Now here’s where I might be wrong and please correct me if I am, but since there are parallels to Darwin in MW, couldn’t that also imply selectively killing a particular group of people? As in, weed out the evildoers, or the weakest who don’t have a chance of survival anyways (as Lestat does after Louis tries to kill him)? The latter would make sense with the Darwin parallel. What we see in MW may be skewed through Felix’ perspective. I haven’t watched MW, but these things happen all the time in IWTV. Killing mercilessly may be only his interpretation of what Lestat said.
TL;DR: Lestat understands vampiric nature well enough to teach others how to kill “like a vampire” when he himself still chooses to do differently. He also doesn’t “like to point out [his] virtues” which is why he never actually told anyone he only kills criminals.
#iwtv#iwtv theory#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#iwtv amc#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#iwtv felix#i’ve gone through this three times now and i’m still not sure i should post it but i guess i will#maybe i’m missing something super obvious idk#but it made me feel better about it so maybe it’ll make someone else feel better too
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
while trying to make any of the characters in great comet more nuanced is kind of a lost cause due to how out of context it is, the sanitization of pierre truly does kill me because pierre is many things but he is never supposed to just be an explicitly Good Man. and in the case of great comet it truly does feel less like an oversight and more like a conscious decision to make pierre seem less complicated and therefore easier to position as a good, kind, main character when that's just... not who he is. i understand why that's the way that a Musical would decide to position him, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating as a war and peace fan
the specific way that the duel is added kind of baffles me because i do think it benefits from the added context in theory but rather than just providing context it instead warps it and i end up questioning what purpose it really serves? throwing in a random event from literally 5 years earlier in the novel's timeline without adding any of the fallout is such a questionable decision and truly just leads to such a warped perception of hélène and pierre's relationship
by having pierre be certain of hélène's infidelity before the duel with dolokhov, it completely writes over the purpose of the duel in the first place. in the novel, this is the moment where pierre begins hating hélène, where he decides he has to leave and therefore sets off on the beginning of his spiritual journey. it's also notable that the affair is never actually explicitly said to be happening, either. pierre hears a Rumor and he reacts violently to both dolokhov and to her, threatening to kill her and throwing a marble slab at her before leaving petersburg. meanwhile, the musical takes place 5 years later where he has (reluctantly) reunited with her and he's currently [insert the lyrics of 'pierre' here], etc etc. he's resigned to his loveless marriage already, so the duel cannot have anywhere near the emotional impact nor purpose that it did in the novel. so what is its purpose in the great comet???
the easiest answer is that in contextualizes why hélène is so well-suited to be the one to "seduce" natasha and ease her worries about not being loyal to andrei, but even then that was never the way that hélène seduced natasha. she seduced her with her beauty and influence because those were things that natasha admired and wanted. so it's not exactly necessary there. the other explanation is to position her as a more clear antagonist for pierre, but this also just pushes him further into that "bumbling and kind guy who things kinda just happen to" role that isn't entirely inaccurate but isn't really accurate either
you can't have his violence towards her after the duel because the duel in the context of the musical doesn't have the same emotional impact from the novel that led to that outburst but without it and without the context of it being his reaction to a rumor (meanwhile it's blatant and shown directly in the musical, giving him "reason" to hate her), it just positions pierre as a victim rather than a violent participant, which he was. when he speaks to her during the 'find anatole' scene in the novel, she is Afraid of him and she's afraid of him Because he has actually physically threatened her before. taking that kind of weight away from their characters is frankly boring and annoying, especially in terms of the conclusions it leads great comet fans to draw
#i'm rambling but i could talk about my issues w/ this musical all day unfortunately#war and peace#npgc#pierre bezukhov#hélène kuragina#hk
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hope you have a praise kink baby because you has gotten a lot here today ❤️😉
you looked up and into his blue eyes. At that moment, you were convinced there was no better way to wake up. You could imagine looking into his eyes in a tiny apartment close to the hospital; coffee filling your nostrils as the beans were rung of their juices and into the cup he’d be sure to bring to your bedside, because he’s just that kind of a guy. - aghh this is actually the dream she is so me fake scenarios in your head even before you are dating haha
had spent your last thirty bucks on the dress, hopeful it would make a good impression. All that you knew about him was that he was a doctor – you didn’t know where or even what his name was, you just hoped he wasn’t an asshole like the last three had been. You were lonely and ready to find your person; your fertility clock ticking away by the day. You were supposed to fall in love in college and get married and do all the things that you’re supposed to do when that happens. But, instead, some dumb boy named Storm had broken your heart freshman year and you hadn’t let anyone in since. What kind of a person names their son Storm, anyways? Though you thought maybe they knew the Storm he’d turn into – maybe they knew who he’d become. You should’ve taken it as an omen; for him, for your life, for the way the 18 wheeler collided with your car, for the way the blood soaked the pale blue satin of your dress, and for the way the first time you locked eyes with Rafe you knew you loved him. - I feel like when you highlight the whole text in your text book bc everything seems important when I read this bc I want to comment on everything. First take: You write like an angel this is beautiful, the storm part how you use the word in different ways and it makes so much sense and it is so beautiful! Take 2: I see myself so much in her omg the love she can give but heartbreak makes everything so complicated, why not me and should I give up? One more first date and they are never good anyway 😭 and take 3 omg yes we are in love with rafe he is a baby boy and yes please I need him
“Of course it is, you know I gotta take care of my girl.” - AGHHH THIS OMG and her favorite foods, he knows her and agh that is everything
“Sweet girl, if there’s anyone you can trust – it’s him.” - Jenny is amazing and yes you can trust him ofc, and they are going out agh. And the whole rafe will kill me haha love it
He says, your chin still between his fingers, his thumb moving up to stroke your plump bottom limp. You look at him doe-eyed, struck with wonder at the fact that he’s saying it to you and not to some other beautiful girl, one more deserving of the kind of love that he has to offer. He’s so pretty, you think. Pretty eyes, pretty smile – pretty boy – your mind spouts out at your gazing. - Them omg stop, this is everything!!
“Good girl. You ready?” - touché yes now we are reaching for my praise kink instead 🫣
Today, we’re a girl and a guy at a museum. I know the contents of your medical chart, but I want to know what makes you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts, y/n. I want to know you. So, I’m gonna walk away for five minutes and when I come back, we’re going to start over, yeah?” - he is the absolute sweetest omg the way he is just perfect and need to know everything about her 😭😍
just you and the man you were falling in love with. Together. - 😍😍😍
Baby this chapter was everything I dreamed off, amazing and as always painfully beautifully written 🫶🏼 you are the brightest star and I am so privileged to be your friend ❤️
blue eyes + bruises - part six
✯ pairing:
doctor!rafe cameron x fem!reader
✯ summary:
a tragic car accident looks like it'll be the end for you, but dr. cameron is here to make sure that doesn't happen.
✯ warnings:
mature themes, mentions of anxiety, nostalgia, and fear, car accident, death of a spouse (not rafe or y/n), major surgery, injuries, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, etc.
✯ a/n:
nothing!! please don't engage if you have a hard time with any of these topics <3 this was origianlly posted on my old blog @/illicitfixations, @/lovelornanonymity back in 2021/2022 and i have rewritten + reshared it here :)
—
Rafe’s soft hand tracing the freckles on your cheek is what woke you and as you stirred, wincing, as the first of the morning’s pain hit your senses, you looked up and into his blue eyes. At that moment, you were convinced there was no better way to wake up. You could imagine looking into his eyes in a tiny apartment close to the hospital; coffee filling your nostrils as the beans were rung of their juices and into the cup he’d be sure to bring to your bedside, because he’s just that kind of a guy. Those daydreams had been keeping you going lately, imagining a life outside of what you were living now – outside of hospital filled days and pain and the unattainable doctor at your bedside. You had been starting your mornings with blue eyes a lot lately, which was the main constant between your daydreams and your reality – those days – the blue-eyed days, always let you put your best foot forward and you were thankful that today was one of those days.
“Good morning, pretty girl.”
He spoke softly, careful not to startle you as you were still gaining your bearings from the slumber you were woken from.
“Hi.”
You spoke suggestively, your morning voice poking through, unsure of how sexy he found you as you sat upright in the hospital bed. You winced again.
“Easy, tiger.”
He chastised you softly, pushing your shoulders back against the soft pillows.
“Here, let me.”
He spoke, reassuring you with a smile. You gingerly nodded as he grabbed the bed’s remote control and brought the top half to an upright position.
“What would I do without you?”
You questioned playfully again. Jenni snickered from behind Rafe, watching as you shamelessly flirted with him, you had made that your full time job and you hoped he didn’t mind. You weren’t stupid enough to think he meant the nicknames and sweet words, even though it all felt real, you were sure it wasn’t. The truth was, you didn’t believe in love, even if it came in the form of Rafe Cameron, who you were sure had much better prospects than some girl he met for the first time in the emergency room. You thought about the night of your accident often – so much so that it was consuming your being; some days it was all you thought about and this morning, while you woke up to those pretty blue eyes, was no different. The thoughts were consuming you in the same way that Molly consumed him. You closed your eyes for a brief moment, drowning out the sound of Jenni and Rafe chatting amongst you about the day's plans. You loved them, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when all you could see as your rows of eyelashes collided was the pale blue dress that clung to your body as you looked in the mirror one last time before heading out the door. Another blind date. You had spent your last thirty bucks on the dress, hopeful it would make a good impression. All that you knew about him was that he was a doctor – you didn’t know where or even what his name was, you just hoped he wasn’t an asshole like the last three had been. You were lonely and ready to find your person; your fertility clock ticking away by the day. You were supposed to fall in love in college and get married and do all the things that you’re supposed to do when that happens. But, instead, some dumb boy named Storm had broken your heart freshman year and you hadn’t let anyone in since. What kind of a person names their son Storm, anyways? Though you thought maybe they knew the Storm he’d turn into – maybe they knew who he’d become. You should’ve taken it as an omen; for him, for your life, for the way the 18 wheeler collided with your car, for the way the blood soaked the pale blue satin of your dress, and for the way the first time you locked eyes with Rafe you knew you loved him.
“Earth to y/n!”
You heard Rafe chuckle as he waved his hand in front of your face. Your eyes were closed, but you felt the wind against your face as he moved it back and forth. Your eyes flew open and you forced a smile; he could tell.
“Sorry, I was thinking.”
You replied softly.
“What were you thinking about, sweetheart? Is everything okay? Are you in pain?”
His brows furrowed in concern. One thing you admired about Rafe is that he always wanted to make sure you were okay. He was selfless and kind; a golden retriever in human form and you loved that about him. You knew those qualities made him a good doctor and moreso, a good person, a good man.
“I’m fine, I promise. I just got lost in my thoughts. I feel a little weird today, lots of emotions, y’know?”
You replied, giving him a genuine smile this time. He always brought them out of you – by simply just being.
“Will it make you feel better if I tell you I brought you breakfast and that you and I are going to go on a little field trip?”
He looked at you with bright eyes, eagerly anticipating your response and as the joy laced your features, he knew he’d do anything to watch that in slow motion over and over again.
“Is it my favorite?!”
You squealed in question and excitement, already knowing the answer. ‘He remembers things about me’, you thought.
“Of course it is, you know I gotta take care of my girl.”
He said, placing the chicken and mayo biscuit on the tray table in front of you. You looked down at the orange and brown Biscuit Co. wrapping paper it was covered in. Ever since Rafe had found out that you loved it as much as him, he made it his mission to bring you one at least once a week. He deemed it a treat for your progress in treatment. The words that had just come out of his mouth hit you in the same way your body flying through the windshield of your car had. The assault on all your senses made you freeze and your only response was the blush that filled your cheeks and a soft smile.
His girl? Is that what you were to him – were you his girl? Or, would he be just like everyone else if you were too close to him.
“Now, eat up – Big day today, sweet girl.”
He said, smiling at you – the Rafe Cameron one – the one you couldn’t get enough of.
“What’s so special about today?”
You questioned, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“Today is your first day out of the hospital with me.”
He said sweetly, rubbing your cheek with the pad of his thumb. You frowned, anxiety filled you. He knew you well enough now to know it would trigger your fight or flight response – hence the biscuit.
“Don’t worry, sweet girl. I’ll be there the whole time – we got this. It’ll be fun. You deserve some fun, don’t you think?”
“I-I don’t know, Rafe.”
You muttered.
“You do. Now, eat up and I’ll go get everything ready for us to go. Jenny is gonna help you get dressed okay? I had her get some clothes for you.”
He promised in return, a wink meeting your gaze before he kissed your cheek and disappeared from the room as quickly as he had entered.
“He’s a sneaky little fucker, isn’t he?”
Jenny blurted out, erupting in a belly laugh and suddenly there were crinkles beside your lashes as your smile met your eyes.
“That, he is – but, you know what he’s up to, don’t you?”
You questioned her, squinting your eyes in her direction.
“I don’t know a thing!”
She gasped, feigning shock as she placed her hand against her chest like you had shattered her heart. You could only laugh at her antics.
“Okay, but, seriously – is this okay? Can I trust him?”
You asked.
“Sweet girl, if there’s anyone you can trust – it’s him.”
Jenny replied, a sweet smile on her face. Your heart clenched at her words and you nodded shyly in response.
She moved around you to the chair adjacent to your bed where a pile of clothes lay waiting for you, quickly gathering them up in her hands before walking around the bed again and helping you lean forward. You aided her as best as you could with your left leg locked straight by the brace it was confined to. She started by reaching behind your neck as she helped you lean forward and gently untying the hospital gown that was draped over your top half. Her hands worked quickly and before you knew it, she was helping you into a bra and placing a UNC sweatshirt over your head. It was oversized and large, accommodating the injuries to your abdomen well. They were healing, but you wouldn’t be back to normal for a while. Jenni continued her work, tenderly removing the straps of the brace and lifting your leg out of it, taking the shorts that Rafe had provided for you and placing each of your ankles before she slid them up your legs as you sat there.
“Okay, sweet girl. I’m gonna put the brace back on and then I'll help you upright so we can pull your pants up.”
She spoke sweetly, encouraging you along the way. She knew how humiliating this was for people, she was no stranger to the reality of that. She worked as fast as she could, buckling you back into your prison before turning your body and letting your legs lower to the floor.
“Put your hands on my shoulders and don’t touch your injured leg to the ground, okay? Rafe will kill me otherwise.”
She joked, but you did as she said and watched in adoration as she manhandled you and helped you stand only on your healthy leg while she pulled your pants up around your hips.
“All done!”
She beamed emphatically at her hard work coming to fruition and just as the words left her lips Rafe entered the room.
“You ready, sweet girl?”
He questioned and you smiled kindly in response, giving him a slight nod.
—
Rafe had packed you safely in the backseat of his truck and he’d gone above and beyond, really. Though, you were sure maybe it was just the doctor in him that had you currently seated in luxury; your back leaned up against the back driver’s side door, a very fluffy pillow well above the regular hospital grade ones you were used to created a barrier between you, the window, and the plastic door handle. Your legs were laying straight out in front of you, the left one elevated by the same brand of fluffy pillow that your back leaned against. Rafe had thought of everything it seemed, you made a mental note of that as you watched your ice machine pump cool water onto the top of your knee.
“How are you feeling back there, pretty girl?”
He asked, turning down the radio and locking eyes with you in the rearview mirror. You gave him a soft smile, though the gravity of this being your first time in a vehicle since your accident weighed heavy on you.
“A little overwhelmed.”
You responded meekly and his eyes softened even more than their usual pouty, puppy-dog-like state, though you didn't even think that was possible prior to this moment.
“I know, sweetheart. Can you make it three more minutes? We’re about to pull in.”
He questioned you and you nodded in return, giving him a kind smile. Though he noticed it didn’t meet your eyes. Exactly three minutes and thirty-seven seconds later Rafe opened the door on the passenger side of the backseat. Your legs are met with the crisp autumn air and for the first time you realize that though it’s only been a few weeks since your accident, the world outside of your hospital room seems to be going on without you, without a second thought about you. Rafe can see how nervous you are in the murky waters of your eyes, so he does what he does best — he provides a distraction. That’s what he hopes this day will be. He hopes this day will give you a tiny fraction of the joy you deserve to feel. He’s only seen glimpses up close, but he knows how special you are. He knows you’re too good for him and far too good for this world.
“Hello beautiful!”
He greets you emphatically and you smile wide at him.
“Hi, again.”
You giggle in response.
“Sit tight, I'll get you out in just a sec.”
He says and you nod, watching him through the small window at the rear of the truck as he lifts the wheelchair from the bed of it and returns to your line of sight again.
“You ready, pretty girl?”
He asks and you nod, scooting toward him with the small amount of muscle on your right side that’s still able to help you in your movements.
“You’re doing so good, sweetheart.”
He coos, coaching you until you’ve slid your bottom to the middle of the bench of the back seat. Your breathing is labored when you’ve reached this point and his eyes soften at the sight. You’re trying so hard and you’re stronger than he could ever be, mentally and emotionally. So, again, he does what he does best – this time, swooping in to aid you.
“That’s good, you did so good. Let me do the rest, yeah?”
You nod in response to his question, though you know that it’s not really a question and that when it boils down to it, he would’ve done it anyways. His torso leans in to the inside of the truck and he places one hand under your knees and one around your shoulders.
“Put your hands around my neck, okay?”
He commands softly and you give him the reassurance he’s looking for with a nod. Before you know it, you’re airborne, leaning your head onto his shoulder for the brief moment before he places you down into the wheelchair. He kneeled down, adjusting the leg rest so your injured leg could sit comfortably, grabbing the pillow from the car and placing it underneath your injured limb. He stood and you smiled at him.
“Thank you, Rafe. You’re kinder than I deserve.”
You muttered, eyes casting down to where your hands rested on your legs. You were surprised as his thumb and forefinger met your chin, pulling your eyes toward his.
“One of these days, I'll prove to you that you deserve far more than I can give.”
He says, your chin still between his fingers, his thumb moving up to stroke your plump bottom limp. You look at him doe-eyed, struck with wonder at the fact that he’s saying it to you and not to some other beautiful girl, one more deserving of the kind of love that he has to offer. He’s so pretty, you think. Pretty eyes, pretty smile – pretty boy – your mind spouts out at your gazing.
“Let’s have a good day, yeah?”
He asks, bringing you back to earth. Your breath is caught in your throat, so you only manage a nod in response to him.
“Almost forgot.”
He said smiling, leaning into the passenger seat of his truck and grabbing a blanket before placing it over your legs and closing the doors of his vehicle. You were thankful.
—
The surprise couldn’t have been better, in fact, you’re glad you hadn’t known prior to this moment that Rafe had scored two tickets for a tour at a museum you’d only dreamt of seeing in person; the metropolitan museum of art. You’d meant to go so many times since you moved to New York, but sadly between your busy schedule as a teacher and your inability to time manage, you’d never made it. But, this – now, you’d managed it with a hunky boy at your side. You felt like you were dreaming as Rafe pushed you up the handicapped ramp. You admired the columns at the front of the entrance, its architecture something you’d seen photographs of for so many years, yet now, you realized they were truly larger than life, larger than you’d ever imagined. It made you feel uniquely human to gawk at the stone as it stood and as you smiled to yourself in reverence and awe at this day just as it began, Rafe knew he had done the right thing by bringing you here. You needed this — you needed joy.
You’d made it through admission quickly, the foyer of the building as beautiful as you had dreamed of. There were people bustling all around you as Rafe pushed you even further and further into the room. Your senses were almost lost underneath the bucket of chaos, but you looked up and for the first time saw the beautiful architecture of the foyer ceiling. It was something that again, you’d seen hundreds of photos of, but the beauty of seeing it in person was truly overwhelming. You were jolted from the thought as Rafe parked your wheelchair near the center of the room where a giant plant played the role of a centerpiece and benches sat just below it. He locked the wheels before kneeling in front of you.
“How’s your leg feeling, sweetheart? Do you need any medicine before we get started?”
He questioned, removing the blanket from your left leg to take a look at the swelling himself.
“The pain isn’t bad, I think the ice helped on the way over.”
You spoke, giving him a hopeful smile.
“How about some ibuprofen, then? Just to keep the swelling down.”
He questioned, his doctor mind working in overdrive even outside of the hospital to ensure your safety.
“Okay.”
You agreed, accepting the pills from his hand as he reached into the bag Jenny packed that lay draped across the bars of your chair and pulled out a water bottle for you to swallow it down with. You swallowed them smoothly, watching as Rafe gave your leg one more once over and fluffed the pillow it sat on before covering you with the blanket once again.
“Good girl. You ready?”
He asked, his smile meeting his eyes in excitement and you nodded, hoping you’d never forget what he looked like when he did that. When all this was over and you were no longer under his care, you hoped you’d never forget that smile.
—
Rafe pushed your chair forward into the first exhibit in your path, Van Gogh’s Cypresses, with a map of the museum in his hand. It was quiet between the two of you, uncertainty looming in the air of what the day would bring, if you’d let the other in. You didn’t make much of it, observing your surroundings as you were rolled forward. You’d heard about this exhibit coming to the museum in the form of an email newsletter from the met and you’d thought about coming so many times, but again, time got away from you. You were sure never to let that happen again once you were healed and the initial fear of living dissipated just as you knew it would. Your eyes traced over the painting; the stark contrast of the evergreen trees the exhibit was based around paired with the night sky sent chills down your spine.
“Do you know what Van Gogh found so remarkable about the cypress trees?”
You finally questioned him, breaking the silence as he parked your chair in front of a giant painting. Your eyes traced over it; the stark contrast of the evergreen trees the exhibit was based around paired with the night sky sent chills down your spine.
“Why don’t you tell me?”
He smirked, locking your wheels and kneeling down beside you, seeing it through your lens. He wanted to see everything through your lens. He looked to you with a pure smile, one you were sure that only he was capable of and you aren’t sure but you felt immense peace.
“Well, he found the trees beautiful and eternal and ethereal and much like most artists do, he looked to other art. But, noticed that no one had captured them quite the way he saw them. So, he set out on a mission to do it himself.”
He smiled at your analysis, knowing that your years of reading and teaching must’ve led you to this conclusion.
“I didn’t know that, thank you for teaching me something new.”
He replied and as sweet as his words were, you couldn’t help the shrill of embarrassment crawl up your spine, its force so strong, your body seemed to curl into itself where you sat.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
He asked, afraid you were in more pain than you were letting on. For a brief moment, he wondered if this outing was a mistake, if he was hurting you, rather than helping you for his own selfish motives.
“Nothing, I'm sorry if I sounded like a know-it-all. I have a bad habit of doing that. I’m sure you know lots about Van Gogh, you have a fucking medical degree for crying out loud.”
You stuttered out quickly and he couldn’t help but smile at how flustered you’d become.
“Hey — look at me.”
His voice is soft as he commands your attention and you follow his instructions.
“I might have a medical degree, but I don't know everything. In fact, there’s a lot I don’t fucking know – like an absurd amount. If it doesn’t have to do with bones or a joint, it’s actually quite foreign to me.”
He uttered, watching as your eyes moved back and forth over his face, like you were committing it to memory. Little did he know, you were.
“Listen to me. You and I, we’re both separate people with faults and quirks. We met by the brutality of the universe, right? I want you to forget about all of that. Today, I want you to forget about the accident, forget about our relationship, forget about the hospital. Today, we’re a girl and a guy at a museum. I know the contents of your medical chart, but I want to know what makes you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts, y/n. I want to know you. So, I’m gonna walk away for five minutes and when I come back, we’re going to start over, yeah?”
His words made a lump form in your throat, its width as big as a beach ball.
“Yeah.”
You whispered in response. You didn’t hear Rafe walk away but you knew that he had by the quiet amidst you in a room full of chatting people. The next thing that gave him away was the fact that his presence gave you a warmth that you couldn’t describe and in the short stent that he was away from you, you longed for it. You wondered if he’d come back at all.
“So, do you come here often?”
Your favorite voice boomed over your shoulder.
“U-Uh no, it’s actually my first time. You?”
You replied, a smile hiding behind your plump lips.
“I come about once a year. Can’t say I’ve ever seen the likes of your beauty here, though.”
He spoke and you giggled at the cheesy one-liner that he pulled out of his docket. For the first time since he’d returned you met his blue eyes.
“Are your pick-up lines that bad with everyone or am I getting special treatment?”
You asked him, chuckling. He wore a sly grin at your giggle. It was the first time he’d really seen you laugh and he was sure that he wanted it to keep happening – for forever.
“You’re getting celebrity treatment. I pulled that one from the deluxe package.”
You laugh boisterously in unison.
“So – very cheesy stranger, can I ask who you are?”
You questioned him.
“That’s a loaded question, pretty girl. But, here goes nothing. I’m the guy who smiles when it rains, thunderstorms help me sleep. Libraries are my safe haven. I went to college at UNC and moved here with my college sweetheart. My favorite author is John Steinbeck. I’m a doctor, I came from a broken home, my sister is my best friend, I hate anchovies, and I broke my hip in a motorcycle accident when I was fifteen.”
He replied.
“You had me at the anchovies. Nice to meet you, very-cute stranger boy. I’m y/n and I feel like I've known you my whole life.”
The words you uttered were like music to his ears.
“Tell me, y/n, who are you?”
He asks and your mouth tips up in a smirk.
“I'll tell you what, show me around your favorite places here and I'll tell you everything you want to know.”
You said with a smirk.
“Negotiator and briber. I love it. You got yourself a deal, beautiful girl.”
He replied, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead, pushing your chair away from the Van Gogh exhibit and into the direction of art that was unknown to you. You were sure that no matter what, you never wanted to forget this moment, this purity, this bliss — no hospital rooms or surgeries or medicine, just you and the man you were falling in love with. Together.
—
taglist:
as always, if you'd like to be added to or removed from the taglist, please shoot me an ask or comment on this post so i can keep track <3
@maybankslover @inthelibrarybtw @luvrcndy @silkylovey @yagirlwrites @obxbabygirl @rafeecameronsbitch @klutzy-kay24 @roseczbalt @akobx @allsmilesreally7 @wtfdudesblog @urdreamgirl12 @hockeybabe87 @sereneera @annaconscience @pogueprincesa @bibissparkles @obxbigsis @jjmaybankmylovee
61 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think arcane isn't copaganda, i think it says ACAB too.
i think the show itself has many layers, and that the acting, writing, and storytelling do a lot to tell different angles of different stories.
i think arcane acknowledges police brutality and the struggles of systemic oppression. i think it says ACAB, but it asks you to seperate from a moment, and asks you to look at it through the lens of understanding. not for forgiveness, but so you can maybe try and see why people do bad things, even if they're bad, and even if they're good. the show asks you to set aside your biases, to look at this world for what it is. parallels and all.
and i understand that caitlyn's role and ending make it swem glorifying cops in a way. even when it's something she actively disagreed against, even when in the first season she was trying for a middle ground and was the only one trying for a middle ground.
and not to be too woke, but the triple K caitlyn jokes were never that funny to me. nor were the ideas that she was racist. arcane is a beautiful show that does not burden it's characters with racism and oppression in that way- and you should definitely not erase caitlyn's asian ethnicity. between her and jinx, jinx is the white woman. its so irresponsible to read into the racial aspect of this side of the arcane storyline, the story is making it clear that is not something these characters face, and they shouldn't have to face to justify things like oppressive militia. caitlyn isn't fully white. do not dilute her.
kind of related to that thought, too, is the fact that no one living in america is a zaunite. most americans will remain as pilties, because systemic oppression will sometimes really just be how you were born.
back to it, i also just think arcane shows police brutality for what it is. that type of oppression. it invites you to dislike caitlyn's actions, because caitlyn dislikes her actions, and all this type of oppression leads to is to pointless, senseless, and violent war. a war they should've lost. a war they would've lost.
the scene where steb takes off his hat in respect to zaunites is him respecting that they decide to help, when if it were the other way, it would be unlikely. piltover would never help zaun, and he knows that, and everyone knows that. no one wins in war. no one wins via violence. the show knows this, and when it shows the side characters who we know had so much more life left ahead of them is when it acknowledges that systemic brutality has led to deaths of innocent people. that in a search for power, or for revenge, that they will eat themselves alive by their hubris. an eye for an eye, in caitlyn's case, who tipped the scales too far.
and the show asks you to look at this and the show makes caitlyn face this. the show does not agree with caitlyn once. but the show asks you to never defend her actions, but to look at her and understand why.
i think it asks you to look at the system, but to understand the characters. the people. because we often, in many stages of analysis, forget about people. in the broadest sense, these people are wrong, but it makes you deconstruct the complicated nature of why, and asks you not to dilute them in fear that you'd smudge the intricacies that make them up.
ACAB, even if they're sorry about it, and even if they've got a family. ACAB is systemic.
but good stories include layers, and ACAB is not without possibilties for something different. not critique, but in the same vein. ACAB is true, but it does not mean by exploring the complicated nature of why's, how's, etc that they are copaganda.
putting aside those ideas for the sake of looking at why their flaws can encompass them, and for the sake of understanding the type of world this is is important to. maybe for the sake of love, people do these kinds of things, and there isn't making up mistakes. just living with them.
|||
ofc this is just my opinion and something that's been bugging me for a bit... i genuinely dont hate anyone in arcane. i hate that in terms of discrouse, we've diluted these characters down to our preconceived biases. i hate that we seem to be arguing over morality.
maybe its just obvious though that i spend a lot of time on arcane twt. curious about people's thoughts... if anyone even sees this...
#arcane#arcane season 2#caitlyn kiramman#ekko arcane#violet arcane#arcane jinx#analysis#arcane analysis#character study#idk#idk how to tag this#what am i doing
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
I want to publish the Bartylus fanfic that I'm writing, bc I already have the first two chapters, but I'm not sure if they are good 😮💨 😮💨
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am always thinking TimJay thoughts related to the fact that they have matching scars from getting their throats slit, and not only that, but Jason slit Tim's throat first in an attempt to threaten Bruce, where Tim was nothing more than a pawn for Jason to use to emotionally manipulate Bruce.
batman (1940) #618
And then, just a little while later when Jason is trying to confront Bruce and do his whole dramatic moment with Joker in UTRH, and Bruce slits Jason's throat to stop Jason from killing the Joker.
batman (1940) #650
It makes me so Unwell. They have literal matching scars. When do you think Jason realizes it? When do you think, while running his fingers over the scar he has to always remind himself that Bruce was willing to jeopardize Jason's own life just to save the Joker, Jason realized it was the same scar *he* gave Tim? And does it click for him too, that he and Tim are a lot alike? Being used as pawns in Bruce's game? And for the first time he maybe understands Tim Drake, just another kid trying to get Bruce's attention and approval? And Jason did to Tim exactly what Bruce did to Jason? And that's part of what spurns on Jason's obsession with Tim, trying to "save" Tim from Bruce's ideology?
When they finally get together does it make Jason even more possessive? He put that mark on Tim and now he has his own to match. It's the closest to being understood and loved he's ever felt when Tim runs his fingers over Jason's scar at the same time Jason touches Tim's. Mirrors of each other, in a fun, fucked up little way.
#jaytim#timjay#batcest#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#necrotic festerings#i would've included the proper panel where the batarang slits jasons throat but i've gotta be so honest with you#i can't fucking take that panel seriously. the art is *so* bad. why does jason's face look like that.#it ruins what should be one of the most important moments in jason and bruce's history. everytime i look at it i either laugh or cry#anyway it makes me unwell that jason scars tim first bc i usually see ppl mix this moment up with the titans tower moment#which would make it post-utrh#but no it's from batman: hush which comes first which is so much more fun for me when it comes to jason coping#like first you have to handle knowing the man you saw as a father bataranged your throat to save the guy who killed you#and then you realized he incidently gave you a scar that now matches the scar you gave the replacement you fucking hate?#i'd also be so unwell about it i'd go beat tim's ass at titans tower.#in my timjay little mind this is the true state of jason's complicated weird feelings about tim#the realization they have the same scar forces him to reevaluate his gut reaction to tim's existence#and thus his spiral into obsession and testing tim then trying to recruit tim begins.#i did in fact post this instead of writing fanfic don't mind it. i'm having a time. i'm also avoiding doing dishes.#i like ships besides timjay i SWEAR they're just on the mind as of recent
137 notes
·
View notes
Text
It feels extremely silly that only today did I realize that pantry and panadería are slightly similar-sounding for a reason >_>
(The English word pantry is one of the many, many common modern English words derived from Anglo-French: in this case, panetrie, from Old French paneterie, "bread room" ... Spanish panadería also has a complex etymology, but all are related to Latin panis, "bread.")
#anghraine babbles#deep blogging#linguistic stuff#saw a post that was very aggressively going on about how english is GERMANIC (true) and has germanic words in it too!!! (duh)#and the whole discussion ended up arguing that the existence of common germanic words means the many common latinate ones don't count#as 'true english' or whatever and also all languages have borrowings on the level of french-derived vocab in english (not true!)#and it's only lexical and the english grammar is still fundamentally what it was (not true at all actually though not mainly bc of french)#like. sorry that the existence of 'cat' in english implies to you that 'animal' is not a real english word!#don't know why the entirely true statement that 'english is fundamentally germanic' always seems to devolve into nativist bullshit#but damn does it ever.#people are fixated on the vastly oversimplified 'french derived = elitist prestige register from foreigners; germanic = common real speech'#in reality normal everyday english chatter constantly and necessarily includes plenty of french-derived words (often unrecognized)#like pantry! the longer any english document or speech goes without any french- or latin-based words#the more ridiculously and artificially childish it sounds#esp given that some /ultimately/ germanic words in english came into it not from old english but via medieval or anglo-french#often taken from old norse. so 'germanic' real talk from real folk vs dastardly french corruption can be even more complicated#than the obvious xenophobic nonsense motivating the whole anglish thing#even my guy (and known old english lover & french hater) jrr tolkien could only /minimize/ the french-based vocab in lotr#if he'd gotten rid of it altogether he'd sound like he was writing for four-year-olds#english#anglish hate blog#okay for the tags:#anghraine rants
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs
Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this
Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU
SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.
so. 1) not a violation
I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw
I have disputed the fact of the violation
I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH
So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)
OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket
#it's a relatively privileged problem to have (omg i have a home truly i am grateful) but it's still a goddamned problem and i'm allowed#to fucking complain about it#in case it needs to be said#*rolling my eyes*#i advocate for free/actually affordable housing for everyone who needs it because we ALL deserve a safe secure stable home#whatever type of home that may be#it is absolutely goddamned ridiculous that megacorps can buy all the housing#rent it out at extortionate rates and evict people willy nilly#and we're talking about a “housing crisis” and not a “STOP LETTING CORPORATIONS AND BILLIONAIRES HOARD ALL THE HOUSING” crisis#goddamn.#ha elect me president (ahaha don't do this i am not a good public speaker) and I'll push congress to pass some really neat legislation#hey be more direct: elect me to congress (ahaha don't do this) and i'll WRITE some goddamn nifty legislation and yell about it as long and#as loud as i can until people start to just fucking say yes to make me shut the fuck up#(i know that's not how it works. again. don't actually elect me to a government position)#exemplia gratis:#No individual person shall own more than 6 homes UNLESS they pay a Housing Market Shrinkage Fee for removing viable housing from the market#why 6 and not 2? 2 is a lot! it's excessive! but having A vacation home shouldn't be a crime. Having 5 vacation homes is ridiculous and#awful and whatever but it's not likely to be the source of all our greatest “housing shortage” problems. no. I'm aiming for the absolutely#monstrously greedy and egregious motherfuckers who---ok#hang on. how many homes does the average min and max homeowner own? I would like to see data on that. but anyway#the next part of the legislation:#Homes owned >6 shall be charged X% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee UNLESS they are rented for affordable (15% or less than renter net income)#housing and are actively occupied by said renters. Rented out and charging more than 15% of renter's net? still gotta pay up.#EMPTY housing >6 shall be subject to an additional Y% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee (tax? should I call it a tax?) which increases with ever#month that the housing goes unoccupied. no one living in it? sell it rent it or pay the fuck up. and still pay the fuck up if you rent it#for way too goddamn much money#but like. less. we only REALLY hate you if you sit on empty houses that you don't even let anyone use#ok that's individuals. now onto BUSINESSES#ok so immediately it gets a little complicated cuz like presumably there's rental management businesses that don't own the rental propertie#that they manage BUT there are also companies that just outright own a shitfuckton of housing and THIS is the truly egregious monstrous sid
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lovelies, I really am sorry, these blorbos still have me in a freaking chokehold...
Despite the chaos of the battle, something distinct caught Ganondorf’s attention. In a sea of red hair and brown skin paired with leather and steel, in a sea of armor and white banners, there was light gold, like the pale yellow chrysanthemums Orik had gifted to Hemisi.
Orik. Link.
Link was here.
Damn that child. He’d told him to stay away. He knew the boy hadn’t listened, but to have the audacity to fight where Ganondorf himself was…
Well, he had to admit the boy had far more gumption to him than he’d realized. It was no wonder Hemisi had fallen for him. Ganondorf caught the attention of his commander. “Bring Link to me. Alive.”
#writing#wip wednesday#I am keeping it to just a little snippet to spare everyone lol#I know there are some of you who actually like these guys (and MY GOSH do I appreciate you) but I feel like I oversaturate my blog with the#especially since I can hardly think about any other writing LOL#I don't know why they are SO ingrained in my brain#anyway#who wants to see Link become a POW and have to face his dad#and alllll the conequences that come with that#and Mama Impa#jifaeowjfewoajfkslj#imprisoning war#hero of power#ganondorf#one of these days I'm gonna show Ganondorf being a good dad WITHOUT any bittersweet edge or looming dread or anything#he's too complicated a character what can I say#especially in this storyline like#dude was still a villain here#but there's Link#Gan: I'm starting a war and I don't care about this dumb kid who I have half adopted into the family.#Link: *enters war*#Gan: I... I definitely don't care. No. Nope. Do NOT.#...does anybody want to see more of POW Link + Gan
40 notes
·
View notes
Note
Tobey’s one sided beef with Violet will never not be funny 😭 but do you think it follows into adulthood where Violet just unexpectedly one ups him in the dumbest ways like in the chess match and that invention contest 💀
I mean, it has to. Cause that's just too funny.
For me it's even extra funny because Violet doesn't (in my version of when they're older) even live in Fair City anymore but when she does visit she of course kinda overshadows him in ways that's funny. Especially in his cul-de-sac soccer mom era of wanting to be praised. Like, oh Tobey took time to make a hefty summer roast. Never mind, Violet brought stuffed eggplant, and people think it's so organic. Oh, Tobey wants to show off a genuine helpful invention to the others? Violet brings out a tiny souvenir from an airport gift shop. Boom, she gets the attention. She's not directly his like enemy when it comes to the limelight (that honor goes to another soccer mom he absolutely has some terrible mutual beef with). But she does step on his toes. So he's salty, but in his older mellow state, he can't be too mad when she's very oblivious about it and they are friends.
However, I can't say that emotionally. She also, without knowing, kinda makes him insecure. It's like a running joke in Future AU that Tobey thought that Violet was the one Becky should have been with. Or that one day she could steal Becky from him, and all he could do is shrug and go "yeah I was waiting for this." Tobey is not even upset about the idea...well, NO, he would be sad about it, but he's gotta support the sapphics no matter what. Even though Violet has told him multiple times that she's on the aroace spectrum and that Becky keeps reminding him that she's not going to just leave a 20+ year-old marriage with kids. Even if Violet somehow confessed to her now. (Tobey doubts on Becky's part. He can't compete). (Chat he may be kinda stupid)/aff
#wordgirl#tobey mccallister#tobecky#becky botsford#violet heaslip#Older tobey in my AU thinks women are so awesome. i dont know if ive given that obvious impression yet but he does.#wouldn't it be nice if he also was like a woman too...oh well#genderfluidity whats that? Tobey only knows being Bi. eat hot chip. built robot. and lie#also yeah Tobey will never stop taking some L's he wouldn't be fun to write if he didnt#and yeah while i also doubt it. becky wouldn't just jump into violets arms if violet just decided to pursue her now as adults.#obviously for aroace violet. (specify that she's lithoromantic but never saw becky in that way.)#Becky did have a one sided crush on Violet tho. thats where Tobey's dumb speculation comes from.#its also why he's beefing with Scoops. tho. unlike with Violet. he wouldn't be cool with it considering there's complicated history there
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
World Building continued: Backstory for the wars involving Flower Hill, Teikoku, and Usuhan Jiyeog, and subsequent occupations.
Apologies in advance for this being so long. I wanted to know how widespread Japanese weasels are in real life, and found something interesting I could use.
Japanese weasels originate from three areas of Japan, that being Honshu, Kyushu, and Shikoku.
Coincidentally, Japan famously has three Ceremonial Regalia in the form of a sword, magatama beads, and a mirror. These items are not seen by anyone other than the royal family and certain priests (images on the internet are recreations of what they could possibly look like, and those seen in public are symbolic stand-ins), but they symbolize the authority of the royal family.
Which allows me to make a backstory for my AU to help explain the wars and occupations, very loosely based off of events and locations in history, especially since animal biology limits certain events from happening.
In the past, there was an Emperor, who preferred for Teikoku to be in isolation. Under his rule, and of those before him, are smaller prefectures run by princes, lords, or other lessor royal families.
Contact with the United States Alliance and other nations led to a period of aggression and imperialism surrounding the empire of Teikoku, as they strove to fight against a stagnating economy that believed in its own superiority in the world, as well as a strict caste system preventing innovation.
Eventually, after some time, three princes are sent out to conquer the final few neighboring islands, so that may join the empire, and provide a larger force for when they make a move for the peninsula and the mainland.
The three princes are named after their prefectures, and the Emperor has given them each one of the Imperial Regalia as proof of their superiority.
The Sword
Honshu is the main island of Japan, and is also known as the dragonfly island. Teikoku will call it Tonbo, which refers to dragonflies, which are fierce and deadly creatures. As such, their Imperial Regalia is the sword, Yūki no ken (the sword of valor), and is based off of Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi (Grass-Cutter). Tonbo is the main physical fighting force of Teikoku.
The Magatama Jewels
Kyushu is smaller than Honshu, but it had a lot of trade circuits around the ocean and the mountains. So I will make a prefecture named Kairo (Circuit), and have the area be responsible for trade and roads around the empire, as well as in the fighting forces. I would use the famous Magatama jewels (Benevolence) to symbolize their rule.
The Mirror
Shikoku means four provinces, and is the least populated area of the three areas. Shikoku also has a lot of temples (perhaps run by green pheasants, the national symbol of Japan), which draws in a lot of pilgrims. But they also maintain a lot of gateways to other prefectures. So maybe Genkan for entryway. They are responsible for planning and strategizing for the other two. They can have the Michi no kagami, mirror of the path to represent wisdom/truth, based on the Yata no Kagami.
VERY loosely taking inspiration from The Tale of the Heike, a collection of Japanese epic poetry with many translations and retelling (actually written down 200 years after said events supposedly happened), which says that the royal families that held these Regalia were defeated in a naval battle, and threw themselves and the treasures into the sea. Subsequent legends suggest that many search and diving parties have been led to recover the Regalia.
In my AU, I hold that the items were thrown into the sea, with the princes believing that they could return for them later even if they were captured, although they managed to escape. It was a complete disgrace for the Emperor, as without the Ceremonial Regalia, the legitimacy of the entire palace was thrown into question.
And then the box holding the Magatama washed up on the shores of the peninsula.
It is returned as a gesture of good will, but as no good deed goes unpunished, Teikoku believes that they must have taken the other Imperial Regalia for themselves, starting a land invasion. The small army is annihilated by farmers, fresh out of overthrowing their own monarchy, wielding guns, which Teikoku has never seen before.
Which results in a larger army being sent, which is also defeated and the princes captured and possibly executed by the hedgehog army in the north of the country. At this point, without the authority of the Ceremonial Regalia, and increasing economical desperation, the country is forced to undergo a reformation. While there is still an Emperor, he does not hold as much political power as he once did.
Teikoku left behind settlements of soldiers and colonists controlling the southern portion of the peninsula, which they name Usuhan Jiyeog, who take up ruler-ship and fish farming.
The hedgehogs use the proof of their power in defending their areas to take control of what they would name Flower Hill.
It is a strongly held belief that before they backed away from Usuhan Jiyeog, the Emperor promised that anyone who managed to retrieve the Ceremonial Regalia from Flower Hill would be reinstated as the next emperor, and be rewarded with power beyond their wildest dreams.
Did the other two, heavier, items, even wash up on the shores of the peninsula like the jewels, locked in an airtight box? Or did they sink to the bottom, as they were heavier? Who is to say...
But alongside the greed, desperation for power, and food production issues, the temptation of finding the supposedly stolen Imperial Regalia locked away in some distant stronghold is a good enough reason as any to attempt to occupy Flower Hill.
Now, I'm not about to retcon what I have already written and say that Commander Jogjebi wanted the sword and mirror, and Huinjogjebi is a weasel of science who would likely not be interested anyway. But claiming that Flower Hill stole precious items and symbols of their country in the past, and them not being able to disprove it, is enough of an excuse to make quite a few countries in the international courts turn a blind eye to the happenings surrounding Flower Hill.
Oil Production
I did figure out the oil and gas situation. I did go ahead and give the Jindo Empire a large amount of oil. The Venezuela country below the United States Alliance is now the República de Cultivos Oleaginosos, and is trying to prevent the wolves' country from occupying their regions.
Meanwhile, the vast majority of the world's oil in my AU is being produced in this country.
While it used to be many different nations in the past, the leaders understood that their vast oil and gas reserves would result in large scale invasions, and agreed to band together into the Equatorial Allegiance.
#no one in my AU is ending up as the new ruler of Teikoku#Mulmangcho might be a prince in Lily Bell but he is a home grown prince#I'll say that now#this is just supposed to be a footnote in the backstory of the AU#why does it have to be so detailed and complicated me?#I knew some of the legends of grass-cutter from overly sarcastic productions#but I learned about grass-cutter falling into the sea and possibly washing up from usagi yojimbo#sah#SaH#squirrel and hedgehog#lily bell in the thorn thicket#the rod that blocks the lightning#it would be like a normal (not Arthur) person showing up at the PM office with Excalibur or the bone of scone#and claiming to be the new king#I hope mixing and matching legends and such from different countries and time periods is an ok thing to do#I mean no one stopped me from writing 145K words on Korean farming so#There’s a few stories about Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi and Yata no Kagami#Items like them show up in anime a lot but I wasn’t even thinking of it when I wrote this#kind of wanted a whole Yamatai and the sun queen descendants plot line for the giggles#but Yamatai might just be Kyushu
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
---
#Woha... Alright read the chapter 🫡#It's just. I get where Fukuchi is coming from and I feel like after rereading it the whole thing was a little more clear but...#Did it *really* have to be so complicated. Like dude did it **really** have to be so complicated.#Maybe it had to idk. After all I'm always the first to say that a complex reality can't be reduced to simple axioms–#and that semplifications never bring anything good.#But at the same time was there REALLY no other way#Couldn't you promote your ideas diplomatically instead. Couldn't you become a democratic activist or politician.#Couldn't you write a book‚ person named OUCHI FUKUCHI#Also couldn't you? Talk about it with someone before executing your crazy plan so that anyone else might have pointed to you how crazy it i#But I suppose the whole central theme of this arc ultimately was “people who try to do everything by their own are destined to fall”#And to an extent it does still feel kinda self-contradictory of a plan. Like ahah my plan included not to make anyone suffer!!!#[turns half world population into a vampire]#Like c'mon? Violations of human rights can happen even without killing people dude#(Also Akutagawa)#(Like I get it he's only one (1) person. But he's also the only (only) person for me so I can't bring myself to ignore him y'know)#Mmmmmhhhhhh that's of the main things ig. I YELLED when they brought up Max Weber and the what-is-a-state question#That's like. One of the main questions my whole life studies centers on.#The adrenaline that gave me to see it mentioned in my current hyperfixation ahfjvafjhcvlawsvfblwhkv#This chapter was just so so political theories packed I felt like I was just still studying lol.#I feel like this was a true “get why bsd is labelled as seinen”.#You just can't do this kind of in-depth political theory discussion in shonen manga ig#What else. Still patiently waiting for ss/kk 😔#random rambles
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think the scene I'm going to add to Monday's chapter - not the one I kept thinking about over my trip because I cannot remember what it was, but one I've been thinking about for far, far longer - is the Kyoko Kirigiri Is Ace And So Is Virgin Junko Enoshima But They Are Different Flavors conversation.
So that will be. fun.
#musings#bandit writes fic#dr1 end rewrite fic#i also want to go back and smooth out some earlier scenes after the second write#idk if i'll do a full third write but#i might?#idk if i'll have time before monday#but yeah#kyoko is not repulsed but is also stone cold#she does not want to do things to other people (although she supposes she /can/ MAYBE even though she's not really interested)#and she especially doesn't want anyone else to do things to her EVER#junko is much less averse to the idea#if her significant other wants to do the thing then she is cool with doing the thing#or having the thing done#or whatever#she just sees no personal necessity for the thing#and is roughly curious but uninterested#she is /picky/ though#like - she's fully open to yasuke whenever#and she gives kyoko the option#but mikan so clearly wants and junko consistently 'nope not yet maybe later'#and i think that's less averse to the idea#but a relational difference#none of them are casual but like#mikan especially would not be casual about it#and mikan's relationship with sex IN GENERAL is also VERY complicated#and junko is aware of that#so there's always a bigger question of why mikan wants that and if she really wants it or just -gestures-#and whether mikan herself is aware of that complexity or not#if junko asked mikan to have sex with her mikan would say yes whether or not she wanted it
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
🎤 🎤 🎤
a song that i associate with my muse meme!
AHH, hey, ramone!! thank you for sending in this prompt :D since you sent in three of the mic's, i shall now be treating you to three songs that make me think of blamore when i hear them / that i associate with it. an explanation of why i chose them will be in the tags <3
hozier - who we are.
youtube
icehouse - crazy.
youtube
depeche mode - personal jesus.
youtube
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#asks - answered.#ooc post.#okay but ESPECIALLY heavy on the last one because it literally all about the idea of someone that people can turn to in hard times-#like a god or a prophet who will listen to your plights and help you + who you should believe in. and i say this because one major theme-#to blamore's character is the concept of being a false prophet and someone who essentially unfortunately takes advantage of people's-#longing for things to get better in gotham. bc i feel like a lot of people there have either been failed by the system by other's or-#possibly both and this is so that blamore can get people to voluntarily want to consume the 'seeds' it distributes in order to uhh...#well purge gotham of its undesirables basically as terrible as that sounds. but yeah that depeche mode song? it's such a good one for-#him and definitely has helped me before to write things related to him since blamore does sometimes believe in its own hubris.#but as for the second one by icehouse that one i associate with it because although it doesn't exactly consider itself to fully identify-#with the label of being a 'man' i feel as if blamore will still talk about itself that way sometimes. its relationship with its gender-#is honestly a little bit complicated NGL because him using it/its pronouns as well is something blamore adopted recently even-#though he'd always sort of felt like disconnected and/or like it didn't really align with how he saw himself completely. BUT yeahhh#i honestly could start a whole discussion about that but i shall do that another time perhaps ahah. anyhow though besides that-#elephant in the room ever since it has transformed into this half-human half-plant monster being... although it does love any partners-#it has very much (trust me) i feel like it does wonder why they chose to be with him more often than he'd like to admit.#so that's where the whole 'crazy' part comes in and as for the hozier song that song is about how you kind of have to carve through-#this 'darkness' to rediscover ourselves and who we want to be as a result of going through a rough time or just something tough in-#general and that is SO freaking fitting in my opinion for blamore because it definitely had to completely reframe the way it thought-#about itself when it transformed. and he also had to figure out what he believed in / what his values were now which can be suchhh-#a messy process TBH but this isn't the first time that blamore's had to rediscover itself as life is honestly kind of this ongoing-#process of losing yourself and trying to find yourself again you know? but yeah. i hope you enjoyed my explanation here tehe <3#and also that you enjoy the tunes!!
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we#deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to#give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in#the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when#projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing#dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will#ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do#something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r#stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even#then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a#broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything#done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i#think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with#thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno#whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is#hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse#but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday#unrelated
9 notes
·
View notes