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detective-gum-chew · 4 years ago

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okay okay okay

i know this isnt an orginal idea by any means but roleswap!narumitsu is just so good

so youll have to indulge me because this lives in my head rent free and i want to write it down concretely somewhere (also this gets LONG so ill pop a cut in here)

alright so:

1. at least in my writing of it, this is also a no-dl6/gregory lives au. but as well at that, miles and phoenix didnt go to school together

2. this means that there was nobody to defend phoenix at the class trial (yes i know the money stolen was edgeworths but shhh lets pretend it was someone elses, kay?) this lead to phoenix becoming not only bitter, but somewhat obsessive over the idea of punishing people that do wrong

(if someone can find that quote where phoenix talks about how he could have become a prosecutor because of the trial i will give u a gentle kiss on the forehead)

3. Edgeworth was raised by Gregory and ends up becoming a defense attorney

4. in this, Von Karma goes down and Franzy is adopted by Gregory, and she assists Miles in his cases. (she can still have a whip, as a treat.)

5. anyway with that set up, lets get into some cases

6. Larry gets accused of Cindys murder, Miles defends with Franzy

7. Lets say Mia was in the crowd of that trial and decided to contact miles, seeing as he appears to be another uncorrupt lawyer and asks him for his help in taking down Redd White

8. He agrees, and she sets a time for him to meet at her office so they can talk. Mia then calls her sister and updates her on how shes going to recruit another person (Redd White hears this)

9. Much like the original case, Mia gets murdered, but this time, Maya isnt here to be blamed. Instead, its Miles himself, as the name that White heard over the phone (so basically we’re speed running to the “defend yourself in court” part)

10. the prosecutor today is Phoenix Wright.

11. but before that lets go into some backstory actually. Phoenix had encountered Mia previously during the Terry Fawles case. He had respected her as a peer, if not for just her determination and deductive skills. (After all, he was young at the time and solely focused on punishing the wicked) After Diego’s poisoning, he had briefly reached out for condolences

12. but anyway, Phoenix had distantly respected Mia, and now that she was dead, he was going to be tough on whoever he thought murdered her.

13. Miles proves his innocence, although it takes some baiting to get Redd White out of his building and actually into court.

14. Wright is... not pleased about this, but theres not much he can do. His displeasure for Mias murder has shifted, but theres a new displeasure for Miles, the man who could beat him in court. (”well well well, you managed to save your own skin. But you should hope you get as lucky as you did in your next case”)

15. Next case! We know Miles is a steel samurai fan, so even without Maya it takes very little convincing for him to take the case. (Fran is not as amused but trusts her brother... enough.. to follow his lead)

16. Case proceeds mostly as normal, with Phoenix requiring Dee to re-do her testimony (maybe something deep within him still itches to put the true bad guy away, even if its harder than the accused)

17. I dont think Phonix would deliver the unnecessary feelings line, although there definetely is that moment in the lobby where hes like “hm. maybe you arent a bad person, but that doesnt mean i have to like you.”

18. and now, now now now, we finally get to the part where i somehow managed to put the most thought into. (for context it is nearly 2 am when i am writing this)

19. sleep schedule aside, you couldnt have thought i would made this WITHOUT some good angst, so here we go. case four is similarly structured to the original, but with an extra side of Phoenix angst.

20. Miles wakes up to Franzy shaking him. She points to the television. the news is on, but the voices are drowned out by a distant ringing as he stares at the image on the screen.

Famed Prosecutor Phoenix Wright Arrested For Murder

21. it just doesnt make sense. So he gets out of bed and into the closest clothes he can find and out the door with his sister in tow. He sits in the cold detention room, thinking about the other side of the glass.

22. Phoenix Wright looks dull. He asks what they want. Miles says he wants an explanation. Wright sneers and asks why. For some reason, that pisses Miles off. He slams his badge to the glass and Wright looks surprised.

“Do you know what this is? It’s my attorneys badge.”

“the badge doesnt mean youre a good lawyer.”

“Well Mr Wright, its 2-0, so i dont think you have any right to say that.” Miles glares at him and Wright sits back in his seat. He watches Miles for a long time.

“If im going to defend you, you need to tell me what happened.“ Wrights eyebrows shoot up and Franziska squawks at his side

“What do you mean defend him!”

“What she said.”

Miles narrows his eyes at Wright as he ponders to himself the answer. Why is he doing it? the answer comes to him.

“Because i dont believe you did it.”

For all his snark, Miles cant bring himself to believe that the man in front of him would kill someone. Theres something about him, either in his eyes or the way he carries himself that makes the idea itself preposterous. Wright looks at him for a long time after he says it.

“Very well.”

21. Miles doesnt seem him until court, but at least he testifies. The next person up, a red head by the name of Melissa Foster, gives a testimony that seems airtight.

22. that is, until he looks over at Phoenix, who is pale as he looks at the woman on the witness stand. Phoenix catches his eye, and very carefully, very slowly, mouths one name.

Dahlia Hawthorne

23. (I really wish i could continue with the more narrative parts of this but im honestly running out of steam and ill get to the point lol. Maybe ill finish it later.)

24. Terry Fawles dies on the stand. Diego Armando falls into a coma. Dahlia Hawthorne walks free. Even after what happened to Diego, Phoenix is convinced he can do better. He sets up a meeting with Dahlia.

25. Doug shows up, trying to persuade him away from it, saying he overheard Dahlia’s plan to kill Phoenix when she arrives. Phoenix is cocky, and the pair fight. Doug gets shoved into the powerline. Phoenix, thinking him dead, panics and runs.

26. Dahlia, having overheard, goes back and finishes him off, drops some poison into his mouth perhaps. With an accidental death with a cause so obvious, nobody bothers to run blood tests (until Miles)

27. Its years later, and Phoenix gets a note that tells him they know what really happened to Doug. Phoenix arrives to a meeting place to find a dead body. He picks up the vial of poison almost absently.

28. After all, Dahlia had gotten rid of Diego and Mia was dead. Now all she had to do was get rid of Phoenix

29. It plays out similarly to case four, with Phoenix being absolved of the first murder, then confessing to the old one. Miles has gone through the work to save his life once, that he cant not do it again.

30. but happy endings (ish) for all, with Phoenix being freed, Dahlia imprisoned and Miles having a better understanding of both him and Phoenix.

31. maybe more happens but we’re at bullet point 31 so its time to stop for now lmao. uh but yeah! roleswap au..... brainrot really.

#lmk what yall think #sorry to maya for writing her out but i couldnt find a way to put her in ;-;#sorry if it gets repetitive towards the end i did not edit this at all #roleswap au #defense attorney!miles #prosecutor!phoenix #ace attorney #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #aa au

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thedeviousdo · 5 years ago

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Quarantine time

Thank you for tagging me @bikeryeollie

Rules: to answer these following questions and tag 5 friends

1. Flowers or chocolates? Flowers (not roses)

2. Between day and night I prefer: I like nighttime but I suck at staying up

3. My favorite drink: Water or if I’m drinking alcohol then a Gin and Tonic (w/ an orange slice, you’re welcome gin drinkers)

4. Between sunrise and sunset I prefer: Sunrise, no matter what happened the day before you see a new one start

5. Between dogs and cats, I prefer: Dogs, cats are fine though

6. The vegetable I hate the most: Carrots, Celery, Cauliflower

7. My favorite sound: a thunderstorm

8. The first thing I notice about people: Eyes

9. What would you prefer, horror or fantasy?: Horror, esp ghost stories

10. I’d want to be stuck in a lift with? (choose opposite gender lol): the guy I’m kinda with, adult things would happen, don’t judge me

11. What city or town you’d like to live in?: somewhere in North America like WA

12. What I value most in life: Kindness

13. If I could learn any skill, it’d be: drawing..guys I’m so bad. I just tell people it’s abstract bc it’s that bad

14. Between beach and the mountains: Mountains

15. I’d love to get married in..: not really a big thing to me so..

16. My hidden talent: I can speak without moving my mouth

17. If could bring anyone back to the life, I’d bring back: I wouldn’t

18. Why?: We complete this life and hopefully start a new one, I’d hate to bring someone back to something they left behind and now have to miss

18. Rainy day or sunny day?: Rainy day

20. Who’s the role model of your life: my grandfather and my older sister (which just made me emo bc of the path we took to get where we are now)

21. How I relax after a hard day: shower, you wash away all of the bad

22. I like the way I look: yes..ish. There are things I feel better about now but I don’t see what others may say they see in me.

23 My most favourite facial features of my self is: my eyes, they are green hazel and change colors

24. My most favourite part of my body: my back, most of my tattoos are there so I feel I hold more of my soul there

25. If I could change anything about my body: yes

26 . If yes what’s it: the loose skin I have now after losing so much weight, that’s hard to get rid of

27. If I could change something from my past: I would have applied myself for, know what I wanted to do in my life

28. How many piecings I’ve: 3 on each ear but I never wear them now

29. I like makeup: for the most part

30. I wear makeup everyday: Yes, but it’s mostly just eyeliner and mascara the rest is me.

31. My skin type is: idk...it’s not dry or oily

31. My skin tone: so most of the whitest shades are still too dark for me

32. My hair colour: brown

33. My height: 172cm or 5′8

34. My age: old, I’m happy I don’t use a chisel and rock to make notes now

35. My birthday: January 21

36. My best friend: Christy, we call each other Belt Buckles bc a belt can’t work without a buckle and we can’t work without each other. She is my soulmate

37. I have a pet or more: nope, I even forget I have a pet rock

38. If I don’t, then one pet I’d adopt: uh my siblings pets if something happened to them

39. Video games or social media: Social Media though I really suck at all but tumblr

40. I’ve a innocent mind/dirty mind: Dirty as fuck

41. I’ve visited outside of my country: Yes, lived in Turkey and then went to Germany

42. Someone proposed me or asked me out?: I’ve been asked out

43. If yes then I liked it and accepted it / didn’t liked it and rejected it: I told one no and a few yes

44. Do you follow some celebrities’ fashion: No...ok so I have my days that my outfit may match Kyungsoo so that may count. I also have his Bob shirt

45. What do you think about your fashion sense: put together, now that I lost weight I feel like I’m finding a style more myself bc I have more options

46. You found someone copying your fashion: Yes in clothes and hair styles years ago..she was a bit odd

47. You can do your make up properly: I do a boss winged eyeliner

48. You go or used to go to school with makeup on: hardly wear much but I did wear it in highschool

49. What colour suits you best? I’ve been told red looks good on me other than that idk

50. Finally how’s quarantine going? the first 2 weeks wrecked my depression but I was able to get permission to go into work and that helped me a lot.

Tagging randomly, legit going through my activity and picking as I scroll, don’t feel you have to do this @do-kyngsoo @pinkbyun @cottonmyeons @ks-h @trashtrek

#thanks for giving me something to do the last bit of work #ty again for the tag #my lovely mutuals

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starkravinghazelnoots · 6 years ago

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his eyes

(in which which pepper can’t get a stranger’s face out of her mind and doesn’t have a damn clue as to why)

pepperony week day 7: au

based off of “Mr. Monk Is Up All Night”, which you can watch here

~*~

“And you’re sure you don’t know him?”

Pepper sighed, absentmindedly running a hand through her hair. “I swear, Rhodey. He bumped into me at the store, and I dropped one of my bags. He apologized and helped me pick up my groceries. We laughed it off and went our separate ways. That’s it.” She cracked her neck. Her body had been stiff with tension over the past few days. “And now I can’t get his face out of my head.”

Rhodey rubbed his chin. “Are you sure you’re not…” He gestured vaguely with his hand. “Attracted to him?”

Pepper sent the man a dubious glare. “He was half my age, James.” Not to mention that there was only room for one man in her heart, even if two years had already passed since his death. She still wore her ring. And, if she had her way, she was never going to stop wearing her ring.

Rhodey chuckled. “Alright, alright.” He shrugged. “I’ve got nothing, then. Did he…” He gestured to his face. “Have any distinctive characteristics? Something that’s sticking out in your memory?”

Pepper frowned, closing her eyes as she visualized the boy’s face. He’d been of Hispanic descent, with pretty average features. Small-ish nose, brown eyes, defined cheekbones. “Not that I can remember. He looked pretty plain.”

“And you didn’t catch his name?”

“If I had, I’d be out tracking him down myself and we would not be having this conversation!” she snapped. She then winced at the harshness of her tone. “Sorry. I’m just… frustrated.”

“I know, Pepper.” Rhodey offered her a sympathetic smile. “But we’ll figure this out. I’m glad you asked me to come over instead of trying to work through it on your own.” He glanced at his watch, sighing. “Unfortunately, I need to head on out if I plan on getting any sleep before work tomorrow. You need to get some rest, too.” He glanced at her face, frowning. “You’ve got some serious bags under your eyes. When was the last time you slept?”

Pepper would have laughed at his question, had that not been a totally inappropriate reaction. How was she supposed to explain that she hadn’t slept in the past two - three? - days because every time she shut her eyes all she could see was the mystery boy?

She couldn’t explain it. So she didn’t.

“I’ve had a couple of rough nights. No big deal.”

Rhodey clearly didn’t believe her, but much to her relief, he didn’t press her for a more detailed answer. “Alright.” He stood up and stretched his back before leaning down and kissing her cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Maybe with fresh minds we’ll able to figure out what’s so weird about this grocery boy.”

Pepper managed a small smile at his comment. “Thanks, Rhodey.”

“Anytime.” After that, the colonel left, letting himself out and locking the door behind him. Pepper couldn’t bring herself to get out of her chair.

It was moments like these where Tony’s absence was most palpable. There was no one there to put a blanket over her shoulders. No one there to bring her a cup of steaming tea with exactly one and half spoonfuls of honey. No one there to press a kiss to the top of her head and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

Pepper hadn’t realized she’d started crying until she felt a tear fall onto her wedding band and slowly drip down her finger.

God, she missed him.

Going to bed wasn’t an option. Pepper knew both her body and mind desperately needed sleep, but the thought of lying in bed with pillows that still smelled of Tony was too much to bear.

Worse, every time she tried to relax, her thoughts would drift back to the boy from the store. Why? What was so special about him? What connection had he unintentionally formed with her?

She was probably overthinking it. There was no way she’d ever see him again, so surely it was better to forget they’d ever met.

That realization was startling. She was never going to see him again. She’d never know why his face was occupying her thoughts for hours on end.

She had to do something,

Huh. It looked like she was going to be tracking him down herself after all.

Pepper fired off a quick text to Happy.

P. Potts: I need you to watch Morgan for me. Be here in 15.

H. Hogan: Now? It’s after midnight!

P. Potts: I know. See you soon

Happy had never been able to argue with her, which admittedly was a fact Pepper tended to use to her advantage. But she did appreciate that he hadn’t asked why she was still awake at this time of night. Or morning, rather.

While she waited for him to arrive, Pepper decided to start her research.

“FRIDAY,” she called, moving over to the small workstation she and Tony had shared, though Tony had certainly used it more often than she did. “I need to track someone down. Can you help me do that?”

“I will try my best, Miss Potts.”

“Thank you. That’s all I ask.” Pepper took a deep breath before she began to describe the boy. FRIDAY created a hologram in front of her to match the description. Afterwards, Pepper went through the fine details, instructing the AI to make his eyebrows thinner, his nose smaller, his lips more rounded.

“Alright,” Pepper finally said. “Can you run his face through every New York database and see if we get a hit?”

“Of course, Miss Potts. But I should warn you that the odds of getting a match are significantly smaller because we are working solely off your memory.”

“I know. Thank you, FRIDAY.” Silence fell, interrupted only by the quiet humming of FRIDAY’s software as she ran facial recognition through all known New York databases.”

“Wait a minute…” Pepper mumbled, eyes widening as she jumped to her feet. Clothes… What had he been wearing? She started pacing, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. “He was dressed in some kind of uniform. Black pants, and a white button-down shirt with some kind of golden patch-thing on each shoulder.”

“A cab driver?” FRIDAY suggested.

“That could be it,” Pepper mused. “Change of plan, FRIDAY. See if his face matches any ID photo for cab drivers across New York.”

In less than five minutes, they had a hit.

“His name is Lucas Santiago,” FRIDAY explained. “He works for Golden Star, a locally run cab company. He works night shifts every Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday, until one am.”

“Which means if I leave now, I might be able to catch him,” Pepper finished. “Okay. FRIDAY, I need you to get all this information into my phone, including the address of Golden Star. I also want you to prepare a donation for the company - double whatever their annual revenue is before taxes.”

“Yes, Miss Potts.”

Pepper glanced at the clock on the wall. 12:32. She’d be cutting it close, but she could make it.

She had to know.

Lucas Santiago.

Why does your face haunt me?

~*~

The moment Happy arrived, Pepper practically ran out the door, pausing only to promise him that she’d explain everything when she got back.

She arrived at Golden Star six minutes after one, and had broken several speed limit laws in doing so.

“Lucas Santiago,” she gasped as she ran up to the front desk, where a petite old woman - presumably a dispatcher - was standing. “I need to speak with Lucas Santiago. It’s a matter of personal importance.”

“You just missed him, dear,” the woman said apologetically. “He left out the back. If you cut across the parking lot, you might be able to catch him.”

Pepper’s “thank you” had barely left her lips before she turned around to race through the parking lot. She silently wished she’d worn better shoes.

Then she caught sight of slender young man checking his phone beneath a street lamp on the sidewalk next to the edge of the parking. “Lucas!” she called, hastily making her way towards him. “Lucas Santiago!”

The boy looked up upon hearing his name, tucking his phone away. His expression was wary at first, but then he seemed to realize he was being called by a tired-looking woman and not some creep with a gun. “Yes? Is there something I can do for you, ma’am?”

Pepper had to pause to catch her breath. “I’ve been looking for you,” she finally managed to say. “All night.”

Lucas frowned, his brow furrowed in confusion. “For me? Why?”

Pepper opened her mouth to provide an answer, but found she did not have one. “I - I don’t know.” How was she supposed to explain to the poor boy that ever time she closed her eyes, all she could see was his face?

She glanced down at his arm, the tattooed string of numbers catching her eye. “10-17-23,” she murmured, her voice catching in her throat. “Oh my God. That’s the day my husband died.”

Lucas touched his arm. “It’s the day I was reborn, ma’am. At least that’s how it felt.” He offered her a soft smile. “I had a disease. Retinitis pigmentosa. I was going blind, so my parents scraped together everything we had to send me to America for surgery -”

“- and you had a cornea transplant,” Pepper whispered, covering her mouth as she fought back tears. “From… Tony?”

Lucas nodded, surprised. “Yes. Tony… Anthony S.”

“Oh my God,” she sobbed, unable to hold back the overwhelming flood of feelings. “My husband.” His eyes… It had been his eyes the entire time. That was why she couldn’t get his face out of her mind.

Every time she looked into his eyes, she was seeing Tony, alive and well.

Tears started to trickle down the Lucas’s cheeks. “I - I have his corneas,” he stammered. “Your husband - he saved my life.”

Almost in a trance, Pepper reached up and traced a tear down the boy’s face. “Tony’s eyes…”

Lucas shook his head, his hand moving up to rest on top of hers, his fingers brushing over her wedding ring. “I am - I am so sorry.”

Pepper cupped his cheek, her thumb brushing just underneath his eye. “Don’t be,” she whispered, offering him a gentle smile. “You’ve let me look into my husband’s eyes. One last time. And I -” She paused, allowing a choked sob to escape her lips. “I couldn’t be more grateful.” She reached up to wipe her face with her sleeve. “Thank you. Thank you.”

Lucas didn’t respond, instead slowly leaning forward until their foreheads touched. Time stood still as a period of vulnerability was made between two complete strangers, two people connected by a force more powerful than the both of them.

And when Pepper shut her eyes, all she could see was Tony smiling back at her.

~*~

i’m not totally sure if this counted as an au, since really not much has changed, but i based it off a tv episode so i figured it was okay?? i hope y’all enjoyed!

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the-strawzish-clownfish · 5 years ago

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Oh, you wanted me to hit you with some? Bet. Do all of them Strawberry

YOBI I LEGIT JUST ASKED SOMEONE THE SAME THING

YOU’RE OMNISCIENT I SWEAR

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I have never considered that before now but thanks for that

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3 probably, I’m not really scared of the dark most of the time (unless it’s literally pitch black), but every once in a while i get really unnerved bc i get rlly paranoid

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Satan

4. What is your favorite word?

“faith” bc my faith and bc synesthesia

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

uhhh flowering cherry bc at my old house my brothers and I each had a tree that my dad planted for us when we were each born and mine was a flowering cherry

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I looked in the mirror this morning?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

coral pink bubba gump shrimp co. t shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

child of God, daughter of Sappho

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright if we’re talking natural light being let in through my windows, dark if we’re talking just normally bc rlly bright lights mess w my sensory issues

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

talking to you yobi

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this age, I’m a firm believer in that things will always get better, even if only one small thing does improve, when i think back on past years i get anxious and nostalgia isn’t good for me

12. Who told you they loved you last?

@toomanyfanfics that one

13. Your worst enemy?

my mental health tbh

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

never experienced romantic attraction, i used to have a plush (qp crush) on one of my best irl friends tho (@ blob have fun with this fact)

16. The last song you listened to?

I am listening to Echosmith’s Cool Kids as I am writing this, before that I was listening to Girls by Marina and the Diamonds, which is a hilarious song i 11/10 recommend

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

myself, I’m not s*icidal but I’m not killing someone else

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

whoever the person who decided Teen Vogue should endorse child pornography was

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

me, I would make myself do actual work for once

20. What is your best physical attribute?

my eyes, i just like them. fun fact this one kid i used to be kinda good friends with was talking with me on snapchat once (bc we did that a lot, back when i had snapchat) and i don’t remember how we got into this but he ended up describing my eyes really weirdly? it was really deep and got kinda strange? it was like a movie scene but via text message and then in the middle of it he was like “wtf am i doing” and i will always remember that (dude if you are for some reason reading this then idek what to say man. sorry). anyone who knows me irl (@ you blob) can take a guess as to who this is

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

idk the answer to either of those questions tbh

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

idek man sorry

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

weed, like i’m genuinely terrified of being in its presence (never been in its presence before), i’ve had nightmares about it

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

EVERY TIME I GO TO SUBWAY I GET THE SAME THING. BUFFALO CHICKEN, RANCH, AND CHEESE ON ITALIAN HERBS AND CHEESE TOASTED. I WOULD REPLICATE THAT

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

go to Atlanta and find a homeless person and buy them some clothes and food and some blankets

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

CANADA

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

first of all why is an angel giving me unlimited alcohol that’s just kinda strange second of all i am a MINOR i am not legally ALLOWED however i will probably just take whatever and give it to some people, someone will like it

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

be kind and do good where you can and if someone wrongs you forgive them

29. What is your favorite expletive?

as;ldkfjasdkgaj;lsdf

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

my cactus!! she is v important to me

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the first thing that comes to mind was really traumatic for me, but it’s what brought me as close as i am to God now so idk that i would get rid of it. idrk man, it really sucked but i’m glad that I’m so much closer to God now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a [redacted bc even though this is a hypothetical i absolutely would never do this and refuse to acknowledge it even in a hypothetical situation]. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

….Canada?

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

idk, peeps are in heaven now and i don’t really wanna take that away from them

34. What was your last dream about?

ask God not me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

not really, however i have had several surgeries (all on my mouth) so i was in the hospital for those

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I have built a real, genuine snowman once in my life, and the only proof is a picture i have bc i was so little i can’t even remember it. it doesn’t snow in georgia

38. What is the color of your socks?

ain’t wearing em, however most of mine are gray with some colorful bits

39. What type of music do you like?

I have an eclectic mix of favorites.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises all the way, the afternoon and evening make me anxious but nighttime and dawn and early morning are the best times

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

vanilla bitch

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

UGA i guess bc it’s ga and that’s a safe answer, i don’t really follow sports (i watch baseball sometimes though)

43. Do you have any scars?

oh i’m covered in tiny ones, the most notable being one on my thigh that was on my knee when i first noticed it. to this day i do not know how i got it

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

gay

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i wanna be better about lying

46. Are you reliable?

heh depends, when it comes to knowing random things or being stupid, yes, but when it comes to remembering things, such as dates and times and things? absolutely not

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Has it gotten easier?

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes and no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a whelk and a quetzalcoatlus, no i do not accept constructive criticism

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i once spent hours talking to myself about if it is possible for a perfectly fair coin to exist outside of theory

51. Are you a good liar?

I like to think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Oh I could go a looooooooooooooong time, however i do have my chatterbox days and i am known for not shutting up so it’s really a tossup on that one

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

when i was 3 my mom put blonde highlights in my hair and it was absolutely absurd

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

i cannot bake to save my life, however i have made my father cheesecakes for his birthday and they turned out okay so idk

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

sco-ish

56. What do you like on your toast?

a crap ton of butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

dude in a graduation cap

58. What would be you dream car?

idk whatever’s cheap and works

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

uhhh not really no

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i mean i don’t think we’re the only life in the entire universe, so yeah (and also they’ve found traces of ancient bacteria on Mars so if you don’t believe then who are you kidding)

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

occasionally, i don’t believe in astrology but it’s at least somewhat accurate a lot of the time and i like to freak myself out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

you’d think i’d have an answer for this, however i have never thought about this before. so e ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

if your answer to this is dinosaurs then get out of my house

64. What do you think about babies?

they’re good at shrieking, and for that i admire them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

i am not interesting

#are you pleased with yourself yobi #sorry this took so long #strawzy answers #fucking yobi #tw swearing #cw swearing #strawzy cleans out dus inbox

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timelordthirteen · 6 years ago

Text

Killing Time 16/?

Detective Weaver/Belle French, Explicit

Summary: A Woven Beauty Law & Order-ish AU. Written for Writer’s Month 2019.

Chapter Summary: Weaver and Belle attempt to get a start on the case, but feel like they're getting nowhere fast in a lot of ways.

Notes: This was supposed to be posted on Friday the 30th, but alas that didn't happen. Work sucked and I seem to have gotten my daughter's cold. Palmi's is a Korean BBQ place in Seattle (and other areas) in case anyone was wondering. This is where my random food cravings show up in fic. For the Writer's Month prompt #30: pining.

Warnings: Please see AO3 for complete warnings and tags.The only updated tags are for the smut.

[AO3] Previous: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15]

It was two in the afternoon when Belle and Weaver left the station.

They had collected the current case file, such as it was, and decided to head over to Belle’s office. Frustration was best handled by doing what they could to solve the case, or at least get it started. So far the whiteboard consisted of a picture of Eloise and a timeline that had more question marks than anything else. As far as anyone could tell, Eloise Gardner had managed to fly under the radar for her entire existence.

Belle glanced over at Weaver where he was sitting on the sofa, flipping through the brief preliminary report from the medical examiner. He was slouched down with the folder open and sitting on his legs, and she bit her lip. Just a short time ago, they’d fucked on that couch, right where he was sitting. She bit her lip and breathed slowly, trying not to think about how good it felt to have him inside her, and how it would have happened again if Rogers hadn’t called them when he did.

“What?”

She blinked and saw Weaver looking at her, one eyebrow raised. “Nothing,” she said, shrugging. “Just...we basically have nothing.”

“Less than.” He sighed and sat forward, closing the folder and dropping it on the coffee table. “This prelim report is everything we already know; she’s been dead at least six months or probably more, no obvious signs of trauma, gun shot or stab wounds.”

“And we don’t have any idea who Eloise even is.” He ran a hand over his face, rubbing at his chin which had gotten scruffy with stubble from the last two days. “How does someone have no paper trail in this day and age?”

Belle shook her head, clicking the cap of the dry erase marker she was holding on and off. “Maybe she’s not from here. Maybe we need to expand our search. Oregon, California, Idaho? Check Social Security and IRS records, whatever we have to.”

“She might not even be from the states,” he added absently. “Canada?”

“True,” Belle said, frowning at the board. They’d been making assumptions, and it was possible that had painted them into a corner. “I could call Anna. She still works for that firm in Vancouver, and she might be able to search a few databases for us. Rogers could call his friend in the RCMP.”

He let out another heavy sigh. “Yeah.”

She pushed the cap back on the marker and set it in the tray under the board before crossing the room. “You okay?”

Weaver looked up as Belle dropped down on the sofa beside him. He nodded and gave her a small smile. “Yeah, just realized that I didn’t know what day it was for a second there.”

She let out a soft laugh. “Saturday, right?”

He nodded again, his lips curving slightly. “Be honest, you had to look at your phone to be sure.”

“Lately, yeah,” she admitted, running her hand through her hair. “S’all bleeding together.”

“Are you okay?”

She turned her head and looked at him. “Yeah, why?” He shrugged, his eyes meeting hers, and she swallowed. “I’m better now that we have something to figure out.”

“Something to focus on that’s not...”

“Yeah, pretty much.” Belle nodded, her lips pressed together in a tight smile. “I’m sorry, by the way.”

Weaver frowned. “For what?”

“For all the stuff that’s happened.” She sighed and picked at a fingernail with her thumb. “Between us.”

“Hey,” he said, softly, reaching over to take her hand. “Don’t -”

She shook her head again. “No. No, Ian, I meant it. I shouldn’t have -” She squeezed his hand and let it rest on her knee, but her eyes were fixed on the file folder on the table, and on the edge of the case label that was just a little bit crooked. “I didn’t mean for things to get so messy. Or to push you away - after. You were right that - that I keep doing that, that I have done that.”

“Belle...”

She sniffed and wiped her free hand over her cheek, surprised when it came away wet, and then rubbed it on her jeans. “I, um, I thought - I thought I was protecting myself.”

“You were,” he insisted. “You -”

“No.” She gave him a quick glance, her chest tightening when she saw the pain and concern in his features. “No, I was - I was hurting you. On purpose, maybe, I don’t know, but it was wrong. I was wrong to take advantage of you.”

“Hey.” He pulled his hand away from hers and raised his arm to put it around her shoulders. “It’s okay. You weren’t taking advantage of anyone.”

“I’m sorry,” she managed, her tears falling faster. “I was - I was going to text you that night. Thursday, I mean.”

That was the night Jack attacked her.

Weaver swallowed hard, and then blew out a breath. “Palmi’s?” She lifted her head and blinked at him. “Split a beef combo?”

“With kimchi stew?” Her eyebrows lifted and she started to smile. Her skin felt tight where tears had dried on her skin, and she rubbed at her eye. “You can have all the short ribs.”

His eyes narrowed for a second. “Deal.”

She giggled and sat up, stretching her arms. “I’m going to need to do some wash, or grab more clothes.”

Weaver pushed to his feet. “We can call in our order, swing by your place, and then pick it up before we head home?”

Belle bit her lip and nodded. He’d called his apartment home, which made sense for him. The funny thing was that was the first place that popped into her head at the mention of that word, home. It was an exposed brick wall and dark kitchen cabinets, a hundred year old wood floor and a zig zag of pipes on the ceiling.

She wasn’t sure that had anything to do with what had happened on Thursday.

After dinner, they settled on the sofa.

Belle sighed as she felt her body sink into the soft leather, and pulled up the throw blanket that lay at one end. They kept the conversation light after they left her office, both of them needing to disengage from the case and the events of the last few days.

“So, Tiana’s engaged?” Weaver said as he came around the end of the sofa with a beer bottle in his hand.

She let out a short laugh. “Yeah, to Drew.”

His eyes widened and he leaned forward to set the bottle down on the coffee table. “Drew the chef? I thought she dumped him ages ago?”

“The wannabe chef,” she corrected with a smirk. “I don’t know. They were off and on for the longest time, and then they were off-off.” She rolled her eyes and reached over, stealing a sip from his beer.

“Oi!” He snatched the bottle from her with a half-hearted glare. “Thief.”

She smiled at him. “Arrest me.”

The look he gave her was heated, and she felt a flush wash over her body. “Anyway,” she continued, fiddling with the fringe on the blanket as he turned on the TV. “They met at a restaurant opening a few months back, and now...”

Weaver shook his head. “She can do so much better.”

“She said that about you, you know.” Belle glanced sideways at him, her lips twitching.

“Yeah, well,” he replied, flipping through two more channels before pausing on a recap of the days football matches. “She was right.”

Belle’s foot nudged at his thigh, and he looked down at it before flicking his gaze up to meet her eyes. “Shut up,” she admonished, poking him with her toes a second time.

He tsked and shook his head slowly. “Theft and now assaulting a police officer. Racking up quite a rap sheet there, Ms. French.”

She giggled and shifted the way she was sitting, moving her feet to the other side so she could sit closer to him. He flipped a few more channels before stopping on a movie they’d both seen more times than they could count. It was already twenty minutes in, but it was safe, and she thought they both probably needed safe right now. The news was, well, the news. They lived with most of the nightly local headlines, and the national and global stuff had become too depressing.

Towards the end of the movie, Belle found her body leaning, drifting and heavy with fatigue, until her head was resting on Weaver’s shoulder. He braced for a second, and then relaxed, bringing his arm up around her to pull her against his side.

The more she kept saying she wouldn’t do this, wouldn’t keep taking advantage of him, the more she seemed to keep doing it.

“Is this okay?” she asked, her eyes fixed on the television.

“Yeah.”

His reply was soft, and then she felt the light pressure of his lips on the top of her head. She exhaled, resisting the urge to curl against him and watched as the movie came to its end, the camera pulling back on a view of the city as the credits began to scroll up the screen.

“I can’t keep staying here.”

Weaver shifted slightly. “Why not?”

She sighed and smiled sadly. “You know why...”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Where will you go then? Back to your apartment?”

She swallowed and sniffed. “I don’t think I can. I know Leroy will do a good job, but...”

“No one would blame you.” His arm tightened around her, squeezing her against him.

She pushed herself up, and his hand slipped down her shoulder. “My lease is up at the end of the year. I was thinking about looking for another place anyway.”

“You can stay here as long as you like,” he said, pulling back and twisting to sit sideways with his arm on the back of the sofa. “I can fix up the other room again, and sleep in there.”

Belle looked down at the blanket for a moment. The room would need a bit of work, and some furniture. The guest bed had been taken out as a start to the process of turning the room into a nursery. She wondered if he’d ever done anything with the paint they bought, a light, springy green called Sweet Honeydew. It would have worked for a boy or girl, she thought.

“Yeah.” She pulled the blanket off her lap before she stood up. “I’m, uh, I’m gonna go shower.”

“Okay...” came Weaver’s voice as she crossed the room. It sounded like he wanted to say something else, but she closed the bathroom door behind her before he could.

She turned on the water, pushing the dial halfway over to hot until steam started to fill the space, fogging up the glass. The heat felt good, almost blissful, and she let her head drop as the water pelted her neck and shoulders. A few tears fell, as they always did, and she wiped at her eyes before turning her face into the water. It was easier to let things out when she was shut away from the world. And from Ian.

He had been wonderful the past couple of days, but she still felt the pressure of expectations, of their history just as she had for all the weeks before. She couldn’t keep staying here, not much longer, not with Ian being so accommodating and...helpful. Her only option was nowhere, it seemed. She yawned as she turned to wash the shampoo out of her hair, working out the suds with her hands. It was going to be another early night for her, though she wondered if she’d be able to sleep all that well without Ian. At some point she would need to, anyway.

Belle finished up in the shower and slipped out in a towel, flashing Weaver an awkward smile as she hurried into the bedroom to retrieve something to wear to bed. After she changed, she came out of the room, squeezing her hair with the towel. Weaver was standing in the kitchen, and the television was turned back to the football recap. She glanced from the screen to him, and gave him a small smile when he shrugged.

“Tea?” he asked as he poured hot water into a mug.

“So late?” She lowered the towel.

He lowered the teabag, his mouth curved in a half smile. “It started raining and I just felt like something warm.”

She shook her head, her damp hair swinging and flicking little drops of water over the floor. “Thanks, but I think I’m just gonna go to bed.”

He picked up the mug and came around the island, cupping the warm ceramic in his palm. “You going to be okay?”

She wiped a drip of water off her forehead and shrugged. “At some point I’m going to have to be, right?”

She took the towel into the bathroom, dropping it in the hamper, and when she came out, Weaver was back on the sofa, his socked feet propped on the coffee table, sipping his tea. She bit her lip at the cozy picture he made, wanting so badly to just plop down beside him again until they both fell asleep. Instead, she pushed her hair back and moved to the bedroom door.

“Night.”

He looked up from his mug and gave her a soft, crooked smile. “Goodnight, Belle.”

An hour later, Weaver gave up and turned off the television.

He knew Belle was holding back, putting on a brave face so he wouldn’t worry about her so much. At least they had something to work on now, something to distract them from everything else that had happened. He wasn’t sure that was a good thing yet. They’d proven they could work well together, for the most part, but in the long run what he wanted and what Belle wanted could still be two different things.

Sighing, he pushed up off the sofa and took the remains of his tea, now long cold, into the kitchen before heading to the bathroom to shower. After, he put on clean underwear and a shirt, and spread the throw blanket out over the cushions. He straightened and dropped a pillow down at one end, his gaze drifting to the bedroom door. It wasn’t completely shut, just close enough to block out the light from the living room.

He eased the door open and looked inside. Belle was on her side, facing the nightstand. She looked to be sleeping soundly, but just in case he left the door open a little further. If she had another nightmare, he’d be able to hear her easier. He took a step, and she called out to him in a quiet voice.

“You can stay,” she said, rolling over. “If - if you want.”

His smile was flat. “I don’t think it’s up to me.”

“Yeah.” She tucked her hands under her chin, holding the sheet and blanket. “Sorry.”

“Belle...” He sighed, watching as she rubbed at her face with her covered hands, then shook his head as he turned to leave. “Night.”

“Please?”

He stopped with his hand on the doorknob, waiting until she said his name, and then eased the door closed all the way. He went around to his side of the bed and climbed in, settling back against the pillow. A moment later, Belle inched closer, reaching for him and laying her arm over his chest.

“This okay?”

He breathed out and closed his eyes. It was always okay, no matter how much it hurt, or how confused everything got. “Yeah.”

Their breathing evened out, her chest pushing against his side at the same time he inhaled. The rain pattered lightly against the window, a soothing white noise as sleep overcame them.

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #woven beauty #woven beauty fic #my woven beauty fic #killing time #fic

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thedrowsydoormouse · 5 years ago

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1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

Binge way more TV and movies.

2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you’ve own/owned?

I have way too many to pick just one.

3. What hobbies would you get into if time and money wasn’t an issue?

Collecting vintage designer clothes and shoes.

4. What would your perfect room look like?

https://pin.it/m36vxad3rpp2bj Like this pinterest board.

5. Do you play sports?

*laughs* God no!

6. What fiction place would you love to go to?

The TARDIS. All of time and space at my fingertips. How could I pass that up?

7. What Job would you be terrible at?

Fascist Totalitarian Dictator.

8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would it be?

Wardrobe styling. I’d get gold every time!

9. What’s the most annoy habit other people have?

Existing.

Jk. Talking over you or acting like what they have to say is more important than what you have to say.

10. What skill would you like to master?

Candle making. I’d save so much money and my house would always smell like fall!

11. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?

Remember when I mentioned the TARDIS? Anything involving that!

12. What’s your favorite drink ?

Cherry coke. Or rum and coke if I’m drinking.

13. What state or country would you never like to go back to?

Nevada. I went to Las Vegas with my family every summer as a kid and I’m so over it.

14. What songs do you have completely memorized?

I’m a musical theatre nerd with an echoic memory. That list is impossibly long.

15. Are you usually early or late?

Early. I hate being late with every fiber of my being.

16. What takes up too much of your time?

Dealing with stupid shit.

17. What do you wish you knew more about?

When I want to know something I just research it until I know all I want/need to know.

18. What are some small things that make your day better?

Puppy kissies and good food.

19. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?

I have no idea if this exists or not but a channel that plays old cheesy B horror movies and crappy 80s slasher flicks.

20. Who has impressed you the most with what they’ve accomplished?

Pretty much every Gen Z-er who’s spoken out against all the bullshit going on.

21. What age do you wish you can permanently be?

I’m pretty happy with my current age so like 24 25-ish.

22. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

Seinfeld. It just seems so boring.

23. What would be your ideal way to spend you weekend?

Snuggling on the couch with my partner and my dog under a giant fuzzy blanket with tons of soft pillows drinking hot cider and watching movies and TV until we fall asleep.

24. What’s something in your life that’s considered a luxury?

I have to get my hair done at a salon every week because when I try to wash my own hair I black out.

25. Is there anything you’re too young/old for?

I’m too old to eat off the kids menu and too young to date someone in their 80s.

26. What’s your favorite genre book or movie?

I actually have no idea.

27. How often do you people watch?

Very rarely. I need to constantly be doing something or else I get fidgety.

28. What’s the best single day on the calendar?

October 21st for reasons I don’t feel like divulging just yet.

29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?

That’s a little too hipster of a question.

30. Do you relax after a hard day?

I’m pretty much always relaxing.

31. What’s the best book or series you’ve ever read?

The Kingdom Keepers series. It ruined Small World for me but I’m kind of glad it did!

32. Where’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?

New York City.

33. What’s the most heart warming thing you’ve ever seen?

Any video where a pet is reunited with their human after a long period of time.

34. What’s the most annoying question that people ask you?

Do you play volleyball/basketball. With “are you a model�� being a close 2nd. I get it. I’m tall and thin. I don’t need people constantly reminding me.

35. Would you give a 40 minute presentation with no preparation?

Depends on the topic and the audience. I’m very proficient at bullshit.

36. What’s something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

Go to a Disney park.

37. Would you rather go Hand Gliding or Whitewater rafting?

Hand gliding. It would probably feel like flying.

38. Dream car?

A motorcycle.

39. What’s something so many people are obsessed with and you just don’t understand why?

Stranger Things. I’ve watched the whole thing just to see what the hype is about but I still just don’t get it.

40. What are you most looking forward to in 10 years from now?

I don’t even know if any of us will be alive in 10 years.

41. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t gotten to it?

Embroidery.

42. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you all week?

The cute guy that works at Hot Topic checked me out and flirted a little!

43. How different was your life one year ago?

Very. I was a mess, physically and mentally and was about to hit rock bottom.

44. What/who would you rate 10/10?

My partner. For him I might even bump it up to 11!

45. What kind of art do you enjoy the most?

Impressionist and post impressionist.

46. What do you hope never changes?

My lack of giving a fuck.

47. What movie title best describes your life?

No fucking clue.

48. What website do you visit most often?

This hellhole.

49. What’s something you’re looking forward to this year?

Halloween. Always Halloween.

50. What’s something you’d like to unlearn?

What Donald Trump’s dick looks like.

51. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

Disneyland.

52. What age would you like to live to?

Would it be bad if I say I wish I was immortal?

53. What’s something you’re most likely to become famous for?

Pissing off someone in a position of power.

54. What’s something you’re most likely to be arrested for?

Bar fight.

55. What’s something you really want but can’t afford?

Alexander McQueen scarf. Or one of their brass knuckle clutches.

@anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam

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spaceorphan18 · 6 years ago

Text

Glee - The Exit Quiz

Okay, I’m gonna rapid fire answer these, cause why not. I really recommend you guys do the same! (also - thanks @honeysucklepink - for sending in an ask <3)

1. favorite character?

Kurt Hummel - love him so hard (but obviously, y’all know I love Blaine and many others, too)

2. favorite teacher?

Probably Beiste or Emma

3. favorite couple?

Klaine - be shocked.

4. least favorite character?

Believe it or not, Ken Tanaka - I just cannot so hard

5. least favorite teacher?

Oh Will - he’s a disgrace to the profession.

6. least favorite couple?

I don’t know? Long term - Probably anything related to the Jarley/Ryder triangle - because it bored me to tears. Short term - Puck/Shelby - don’t get me started.

7. favorite duet?

Off the top of my head - Happy Days/Get Happy, it hits the warm place of my heart

8. favorite bromance?

Sam and Blaine, kinda by default. I wasn’t huge about the male friendships on the show.

9. favorite episode?

Oh c’mon, y’all know it’s New New York

10. favorite season?

This is actually hard - I think season 2 has my favorite bits, but season 5 is my favorite overall?

11. least favorite season?

Season 3 - continued to be shocked

12. favorite favorite episode?

Um, did we not just go over this?

13. favorite cast member?

Oh Chris, you know it’s Chris

14. funniest character?

Jane Lynch *lol

15. which character's clothes would you like?

EEsh, hard pass on most of them.

16. favorite competition episode?

Original Song - almost by default, I really can’t stand most of the competition episodes.

17. what episode can you watch over and over again?

Most of them, and I have ;) I like Love, Love, Love might be the most rewatchable though.

18. what character do you find the best looking?

I had to think... is it Kurt? Yeah, no, it’s definitely Kurt...

19. why did you start watching glee?

Okay, so I’ll tell this whole story...

So, ten years ago, I got a new job, and moved to a new city, and met a (seemingly) nice guy - with whom I went out with a few times and (unfortunately) it didn’t work out because I got dumped cause he wasn’t that great and still seeing his ex. Fun, right? Anyway - a friend of mine was like - I’m sorry you’re sad - watch this show! You like musicals and are okay with gay, you’ll like it!

So - she gave me the season 1 (part 1) dvd and I was like - yeah, that’s fun, but nothing about it grabbed me. Except DSB - that gave me chills. But then she insisted we watch it together every time it was on, and so we did... through, eh, half way through season 2?

And I was, like, nope, this show is just the worst - it’s mean spirited and mean and I am not really enjoying it. So I stopped. For about a year.

So a year-ish later, I got let go from a second job (that was fine - it was super shady and people got arrested, don’t do random online jobs guys) and had some free time, so decided to catch up on Glee and **gasp** watched The First Time and absolutely fell in love with Klaine. And then I rewatched the whole series and really appreciated it more the second time around.

And years later, I’m now sitting here with you people. Lol <3

20. how long have you watched glee?

March 2010

21. what scene or episode made you fall in love with the show?

The Auditorium scene from The First Time. It took my breath away, which hadn’t happened since I started watching The Office.

22. if you could wake up and be one of the characters for a day, who would you like to be?

Elliott Gilbert - he seems to have his life together.

23. what character would you most like to meet?

Cooper Anderson - I mean who wouldn’t?

24. favorite newbie character?

Unique in the original newbies, Jane of the second group

25. who would you be most want to be friends with?

Elliott Gilbert - he’d get my life together

26. if you could have a one night stand with any character, who would you choose?

Cooper. I mean there are some things in life you’d just have to go for. I’d imagine Santana would give you a pretty good time for a one night thing, too, though.

27. favorite fan fiction?

Probably, Misqueue’s Scenes from a Breakup. She really taught me the power of good fanfic.

28. favorite headcanon?

Hmm, this is so morbid, but the strongest one that comes to mind is that they both live to old age, but Blaine is the one who dies first, and Kurt’s kind of unbarable to be around afterwards, and I once wrote a tiny thing about this - how Kurt would get into fits and be nearly intolerable, but the seasoned nurses ask him to talk about Blaine, and it calms him down.

29. favorite person that has guest starred on glee?

Hmmm, based on their characters - Matt Bomer, Adam Lambert, or Sarah Jessica Parker. Oh and Katey Segal. I’m so sad that they didn’t bring her back.

30. favorite minor character?

I have a deep appreciate for Stoner Brett. Also Lord Tubbington

31. what character annoys you the most?

Ken Tanaka, uapoweifjodsifjeaw;oifh yuk. Also up there is Sandy Ryerson and JBI.

32. what surprised you the most?

I’m not sure what you mean?? Mostly that I’ve grown used to the idea of Blaine and Karofsky enough that I don’t hate it and I get why it was a thing.

33. which character resembles you the most?

Thought processing wise - Kurt. Though emotionally, maybe a bit of Blaine and Mercedes.

34. which character are you most connected to?

Kurt

35. 5 favorite quotes?

oh - god, i’m bad at remembering things off the top of my head --

My favorite one is: “let me autocorrect that for you. Lima doesn’t have a zoo, why’d we think it did?” the delivery on that is the best.

also the one where Jane Lynch goes on about giving Will a cat and punching him in the face.

And the Kurt line about answering the phone saying ‘she’s dead’.

36. an unpopular opinion you have about this show?

Oh, I have so many... mostly, season 2 isn’t as good as people claim it is, and season 6 is much better than people claim it is.

37. plot point you would've wanted to change, and how would you change it?

The biggest one for me is adding in a catalyst to Kurt’s story to head back to Blaine. Not so much change, but add to the already existing story.

I’d also get rid of the whole Shelby/Puck thing all together. Did not need to be a thing.

(Where are questions 38-39??)

40. what will you miss the most?

The week to week-ness of having discussions with people.

41. top 10 favorite songs each season?

Wow - this is a big question, time to get the iphone out...

Season 1:

Don’t Stop Believin’ (Pilot version)

Defying Gravity (Kurt version)

My Life Would Suck Without You

Run Joey Run (for comedic reasons)

Rose’s Turn

I Dreamed a Dream

Bad Romance

Bohemian Rhapsody

Don’t Stop Believin’ (Journey version)

Over the Rainbow

Season 2:

I Want to Hold Your Hand

Happy Days Are Here Again/Get Happy

Teenage Dream

Forget You (Don’t ask - I love it)

Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Misery

Blackbird

Raise Your Glass

Loser Like Me

As If We Never Said Goodbye

Season 3:

Something’s Coming

Last Friday Night

Hit Me With Your Best Shot/One Way or Another

Perfect

We Are Young

I Will Always Love You

Love Shack

How Will I Know

I Have Nothing

Not the Boy Next Door

Season 4:

Call Me Maybe

It’s Time

Teenage Dream (Acoustic)

The Scientist

Dark Side

Being Alive

This is the New Year

Just Can’t Get Enough

Come What May

Mamma Mia

Season 5:

All You Need is Love

Make You Feel My Love

Hold On

Defying Gravity

Loser Like Me

Don’t Stop Believin’

Rockstar

Pumpin’ Blood

All of Me

Pompeii

Season 6:

Home

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow/Head Over Feet

Somebody Loves You

At Last

Listen To Your Heart

Popular

Some Day We’ll Be Together

Daydream Believer

This Time

I Lived

42. favorite new directions group cover?

I mean, Don’t Stop Believin’ is the ultimate classic - but I have a strong appreciation for Hold On.

43. favorite warbler cover?

Oh, god, Teenage Dream probably? But then Raise Your Glass

44. favorite vocal adrenaline cover?

Bohemian Rhapsody - nothing else really comes close.

46. favorite celebrity judge?

The Nun who used to be a stripper.

47. someone you would've liked to see guest star on the show.

Julie Andrews as Kurt’s grandmother.

48. favorite tribute episode?

The Beatles and Whitney Houston

49. what episode made you cry the most?

The Break Up - partly cause of the music, and partly because of the circumstances of fandom around that time :P

50 what episode made you laugh the most?

This show was a comedy? (I’ll have to think about it and get back to you)

#that was fun - your turn!

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mmjjbbaannkkss · 5 years ago

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2019 December 23-28 Circadian Rhythm Solstice Retrograde

“To live is to be musical, starting with the blood dancing in your veins. Everything living has a rhythm. Do you feel your music?” - Michael Jackson

1-year goal: Negative rep size, positive flex shape? am oxygen intensive on slow push day. Eat less to cut, or only when you're hungry. Welcome to hell.

1-year plan: (1:4) Heavy push, small sets of average weight amount, quick rep without lock or flare, controlling the negative/descension, a tension or calisthenic resistance. Adjust weight or rack between reps. (2:4) Lite pull, larger sets of volumization 2-3 more reps on avg, slow rep that channels/recruits muscle, controlling the flex and negative reps fast so the weight/bar allows the muscle to take a gulp of bloodstream/circulation. Going at this with light resistance, each rep will pump b/c the release is less than a second. (3:4) Heavy legs, hard to do slow squats with quick ups, so machines or cables will help stabilize new movements. (4:4) Lite push, vice versa. Heavy pull, vice versa. Lite legs, vice versa.

Theory: Holiday was Tues & Wed, and already (Sunday) feeling toning during recuperation. Resistance/negatives for size, force production/pumping for active recovery. Light volume slow upward bodybuilding. Heavy resistance quick upward to protect tendons. Will see if herbivore a.m. and carnivore p.m. is sustainable, let alone possible.

Projection: I expect to stretch new-t-shirts by April confident prediction. As for cutting body-fat, give me six months to get under 10%. The key for me, possibly mesomorph, is to carb-load in the morning, not overeat, just eating like vegans for the one or two meals, going to the gym, eating meat afterwards. Soy sauce egg burrito is kinda-sorta. Cardio is going to train your stamina, improve your myocardial function. For me to lose weight I have to only eat when I’m hungry, and if I have to eat when I’m not hungry, go easy on the carbs - and adhering to the morning/evening diet plan. That’s partial ketosis and ketoacidosis, you can eat zero-carbs or follow a ketogenic diet, but it’s -ic/-ish, ketogenic, not biologic ketogenesis of lipids into lantern fuel. Eating too abundant protein will create bodyfat also, not just from carbs. More important to answer hunger instead of panic eating, cheat meals will become a thing of the past.

The hard part is not eating when I’m full, and not skipping meals before the gym because of my schedule. So decided to log a few categories of madness, totally unrelated to the gym, and will link later. LLAP. January is here, get ready for the crowd that’ll be gone by the ides of March, when we ...march. That must be some sorta typo.

> Week 3 (mixed: lite, slow) >

#13 - #18 (week of Christmas)

Same weight, increased reps. leg lift holds, bear crawl, rotations/twists, engage the abs/core with locks/holds like twists or planks, plate pinch press standing? heel raise, lift your knee and roll your foot, massage tennis ball; sprint for 20 to 90 seconds, impatience is better than never starting

#13 Heavy Push /lbs

Treadmill warm-up 10/10 > Shldr Press *6/10305070 > Arnold Press *6/(2)25,30*3 > Lateral Raise *6/55510- > BB incl Bench *6/606060 > Incl DB Bench *6/7090110130150170- > Pec Deck *8/100*3- > Dips *8/888- > Pullover/down *8/30405060- > Triceps *8/3040506070- > Abs *8/tricep press crunch 305070901113 > Abs > Treadmill cooldown /null

#14 Lite Pull 5*12

Xmas Eve, still don't know if guy with bat was a credible threat, but he sure left in a hurry and the rollers didn't ask me anything. Update: He sure left the wife, child and my neighbors quickly, after seeing a berserker, he tried explaining to me rolling-by before I walked into my yard barefoot in an xmas sweater. Update: Hottake: This is why we can pray on our realities, to not sink in illusion.

#15 Slow Legs

Bonding because the nights are long.

#16 Lite Push 60/lb/x

Treadmill warm-up 10 > Shoulder press *10/101010303050 > Cable lat raise *10/5555510-R > Chest press *10/505070709090110110130130 > Incl BB Smith *10/50*6 > Neutral press *10/ 303030505070 > Arnold Press *10/(2)20*6 > Crossover *10/(2)151515202020 > Lock pulldown/over *10/203040404040 > Side bend *10/45*6 calido > Stairs 5? > Treadmill cooldown /null

Wash clothes in garage, put in old service bag, give to S.A. because they don’t fit. > /Rear obliques lil stiff from 45lb plate side bends tap floor, right side less flexible;

#17 Slow/Heavy Pull

Treadmill slowly 10 > High Row *6/50658095 > Chin-up ntrl *6/66-6- > LR Lat Pulldown *6/20353535-50- > Low Row *6/100*4 > DB Shrug *6/5050100100? > Delt Deck *8/405570-85- > EZ Curl *10/ 203040-50- > Prchr 1-Arm *10/20303040~ > Cable 1-Arm *10/15152020 > Twist *10/ null > Stairs 10 > Treadmill 10

There was the guy who completed vs Arnold who said, eat when you're hungry, just so simple. Dave Palumbo said in one of his videos something like ‘you just keep trying until you find something works and it just clicks’ or something like that. Looking at his old photos, not a bodybuilder, not a powerlifter, so i will call him a former powerbuilder, widespread musculature.

Mismanaged cities cry-out for surveillance testing. Winter election smack of wool over eyes.

#18 Lite Legs 60/lb/ct

Treadmill warm-up 10 > Stairs 10 > Uploads, 30min? > Body Squat *10/skip > Side Bends *10/pass/ > Horiz 1-leg press *10/1010101010 > Horiz Press *10/3030303030 > LR Leg Ext *10/1515151530~ > Leg Curl *10/3050505070~ > ½ Side Bends *10/LR4545454545 > Heel Raise *10/LR3050507070- > Tricep Press Crunch *10/7090110130150! > Rope Crunch *10/3040506070 > Rev row 4050 > Stairs 5 > Treadmill cooldown 5

We have music for war. I don't think they’re going to win this one following steps.

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echodrops · 6 years ago

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The Promises I Made (2018)

For the past twelve years, I’ve spent every New Year’s Eve compiling a list of fifty promises I intend to keep or fulfill over the next twelve months. The results have been truly amazing, and I have kept some promises I never thought I could. Although this year was really, really bad, oh lord... This year, for New Year’s, there will be a new set of promises for to me keep, but here are the old ones, for review!

The Promises I Made (2018 edition)

1) I will be less anxious at work and not let passing comments from students or passive rudeness get under my skin as much. Status: Somewhat kept; I feel like I wasn’t as upset by students being rude this year as last year, but then again that might just be because I had better students. XD

2) I will be more proactive about my responsibilities for the college newspaper committee so we can make a great product. Status: Uhh… Can I count this as kept if the newspaper committee was put on hold due to decisions from the higher administration, so I didn’t have to be proactive about these responsibilities?

3) I will actually visit Mexico, not just accidentally take a wrong turn and end up there... Status: Broken. You know how some people like live next door to a restaurant for years but somehow never get around to trying it? Yeah that’s me, with the entire country of Mexico. Like, I literally live less than a mile from the border… I really should just go get lunch one day or something…

4) I will actually decorate my office with all the stuff I have had sitting around at my house for months. Status: Actually kept. I don’t feel like the decorating is really done in the office, but the decorations are no longer cluttering up my actual home instead of the office!

5) I will be better about focusing so that I can grade quickly and feel less overwhelmed throughout the course of the semester. Status: You know, it’s hard to say whether or not I did grade more quickly because spring semester I took on a really annoying class schedule and it screwed me over hard. I feel like I was a little faster this year, but I felt more overwhelmed than ever.

6) I will get the scratch on my Camaro buffed a bit to clear up the parts that can be cleared. Status: I just… didn’t do this. Broken.

7) I will repair the mortar on the fence outside the Utah house and seal the bricks on the window sills. Status: Somewhat kept/broken. I fixed the mortar on the fence outside but did not seal the windowsill bricks.

8) I will finish at least 26 books over the course of this year. Status: Look man. If my promise had been “Finish 26 fanfics longer than 100,000 words,” I would have blown this promise out of the water. But as it stands, I think I only made it to 10-ish printed books. I’m naughty. 9) I will retrim the grape vine at the Utah house and also spray/get someone to spray to kill the wasps. Status: Broken. I don’t know why I thought it would be smart to make a promise about trimming the grape vine, since that’s something you do in fall… when I’m not even in Utah… Hrmmmm… 10) I will get the mail man to stop delivering the wrong mail to my box because I’m getting ten times more mail for other people than for myself. Status: I had so many opportunities to do this, and I just didn’t. RIP.

11) I will have the fire escape window installed on the Utah house to make it legal to rent. Status: Broken. That’s a lotta money fam.

12) I will update Home and a Half at least four times (and no more double posts, just be chill Yehn, be chill for once…) Status: WOW. I was so, so optimistic, wasn’t I? 13) I will actually build all the furniture I bought for the Texas house and never assembled. Status: Mostly kept? I think there’s like one more thing I haven’t assembled (the spare futon), but up to this point I haven’t needed it, so...

14) I will actually watch Stranger Things since everyone keeps nagging me about it. Status: Broken. I just didn’t do this at all.

15) I will go to a dentist and get this annoying wisdom tooth removed and also see what can be done for my front tooth that got pushed out of alignment by said wisdom tooth. This really needs to happen ‘cause the partially erupted tooth is killing me. D; Status: Wisdom tooth is still hurting me… I am the worst at taking care of myself… 2019… the year of self-care?

16) I will take a road trip with my friend Karen like we’ve been talking about for a while. Status: Actually did this! Finally something completely kept. It was a great trip too.

17) I will continue to serve as the video game club’s faculty sponsor. Status: I was too busy… T_T Broken.

18) I will lower my credit card debt by at least $2000. Moving is so expensive. T_T Status: I ended up having major set-backs this year in the form of having to pay out of pocket for a new windshield in my car and also my Playstation flat out dying on me, so this goal did not get satisfied. But now that my car is completely paid off (hell yeah!), I’ll finally be able to start making big payments on this sucker.

19) I will have ALL my lesson plans planned out in advance for Fall 2018 so that I can just chill next fall. Status: YO THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED. There were still some instances of needing to fix things, but overall I did actually have all the lessons done in advance, and that was probably the only reason I survived fall at all lol.

20) I will finish painting the living room in the Utah house, finally. Status: I… forgot I even made this promise. Yikes.

21) I will be better about walking my dog because I have been slacking lately. Status: I wanted to be better, but every fucking time I go to walk my dog, the neighbor’s Chihuahua runs through their fence and tries to attack my dog, so literally every walk becomes a nightmare and there were a lot of days when I just didn’t want to deal with that stress… :/

22) I will finish a game other than FFXIV this year. Man, so many games have been piling up… Status: I couldn’t even find time to play FFXIV this year, let alone another game… 23) I will write a new, original short story. Status: I… did not write like at all this year. 2018 was just really hard for me. T_T

24) I will get my black glasses fixed this year, finally. Status: Uh… Kept… I think? At least I think this promise was referring to the damage to the frames of my black glasses, which I did get fixed. But now the lens has a scratch… V_V

25) I will attend more professional development/on-campus events and trainings to bolster my evaluation. Status: Eh, kept? I’m signed up for a conference and did some extra training thing that I can throw on the sheet, so I’m calling it good.

26) I will ink and color at least the one drawing of Yehn’zi that I finished sketching a while ago and did absolutely nothing with. Status: A whole lot of nope on this one.

27) I will really finish moving in to my Texas house, no more “I’ll fish out the clothes from the Space Bag when I need them but never actually hang them up.” Status: I’m counting this as kept, since the only thing that didn’t happen is that I never took the plastic wrap off the top of my nightstand, but like… hey that’s a really convenient way to avoid water spots so…

28) I will volunteer at a non-profit organization to fulfill my “service to the community” work requirement. I mean, I will volunteer from the goodness of my heart… yeah… Status: Shitttt this didn’t happen and it really needed to… Oh dear…

29) I will level ALL my classes to 70 in Stormblood. Status: This also did not happen. No time to play.

30) I will reach 1000 followers on tumblr. You should follow me. I’m only marginally a waste of time and space. Status: Kept and exceeded! I’m at like… 1540-ish right now I believe.

31) I will find a salon so I can get my hair dyed consistently instead of looking like a shabby blob half way through each semester. Status: Well, the good news is that my hair color fades so nicely that one of my students actually asked if the strawberry blonde was my natural color. But uh… no… it’s not… so…

32) I will find some way to pay back my coworker for all the incredibly nice things she has done for me already. Status: I mean, I took her out to lunch a lot but I don’t know if I really managed to feel “equal” on the debts I owe her for helping me out.

33) I will see an Anhinga (it’s a kind of bird!) in Texas. Status: Kept! The very first time I went looking for it, I found it, so score.

34) I will win Camp NaNoWriMo this year (because November might never be a possibility for me again, given how much grading I seem to end up doing during that month). T_T Status: Broken. Again, I wrote almost nothing this year. Too much stress. T_T

35) I will scout for new neighborhoods to move to with better internet access and closer to my work. Status: Kept. It’s still a bit too early for me to be looking for specific places, but I have a better sense of where I’ll be aiming for when I do go to buy something.

36) I will try to get better at Spanish, possibly by using my DuoLingo app more. Status: …Broken.

37) I will buy sod for the front part of the Utah house so that my house actually looks decent from the curb. Status: I COULD HAVE… But I didn’t.

38) I will be more proactive about commenting, reccing, and reblogging content I appreciate online because I find so many wonderful things but I rarely say as much about them as I should. Status: I think I was worse about this than last year. I miss the days when I didn’t feel like every five minutes taken to myself was stealing from my work responsibilities…

39) I will actually use my Instagram account to upload my photography somewhere public. Status: I forgot I made this promise too. Oops…

40) I will go dolphin-watching in the Gulf. Status: Somewhat kept? I mean… I stood on the pier… And saw dolphins in the Gulf. That counts, right???

41) I will clear all the photos and videos off my phone and camera SD cards because they are overflowing. Status: Kept but now they’re just sitting on the hard drive unsorted and in a confusing jumble of unnamed folders...

42) I will update my calendar with important dates—holidays, birthdays, etc.—and be productive about sending cards and well-wishes. Status: Broken, just totally broken.

43) I will complete my series of posts about Yato/Hiyori. Really. Status: >___> One day…

44) I will not work later than 10pm on any given work night. I can’t keep running myself ragged. I need to brake sometimes. Status: HA. I was really hopeful. More broken promises…

45) I will explore some new places/cities in Texas that I have not been before. Status: I… did not do this. I had a chance to do this and I didn’t. D;

46) I will get a gardener for the Texas house because the lawn is basically unmanageable by myself. Status: Kept. Because… the lawn really was unmanageable by myself so…

47) I will clean out the fridge more often. No expired milk or ancient leftovers this year please… Status: >_____> Ooopppssss.

48) I will get some sort of watering system set up so that the lawn at the Texas house isn’t a total disaster anymore. Status: Somewhat kept. I did buy hoses and sprinklers to water the lawn but mostly it’s just been raining a lot and that made the grass greener on its own.

49) I will help make one of the super complicated cookies from the new cookie cookbook I bought for Karen. Status: Actually kept! We learned much about the workings of cookie guns.

50) I will keep these promises. Status: Ouch, this one hurts a little.

Totals Kept promises: 12 Broken promises: 29 Somewhat kept/broken promises: 9

Y I K E S ™. I thought last year was crazy and was so hopeful for this year… I had NO IDEA how hard this last year was going to be. So many broken promises; I feel so guiltyyyyy. DDDD; Although I’m still at the same job and not planning on dramatically swapping entire career fields again, things are still in the process of settling and there’s still SO much more I feel like I need to work on. 2018 was the year of being constantly overwhelmed. Unfortunately, 2019 doesn’t seem like it’s going to be much calmer because I’m still working on designing classes and getting my lessons ironed out, but I at least no longer feel like I’m at rock bottom… So, I’m cautiously, very cautiously, feeling the tiniest bit optimistic?

Let’s do this, 2019! The new set of promises will be up by tomorrow.

#50 promises #new year's resolutions #2018 feels like a thousand pound weight on my shoulders #time to shake it off #new year #IRL stuff #welcome 2019!!

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sohaveyoubeento-blog · 6 years ago

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V is for Vietnamese & Vintage

Us three ladies had always played it pretty safe by way of our lunch dates. Not to say the local deli isn't absolutely kick ass - it's very tasty and very enjoyable every time we go, but in much the same way as I struggle to go to the same country more than once on my holidays (excluding India, you can never have enough India) I couldn't help but think that life's a bit too short to sit in the same eatery every time we meet for lunch, given that the whole day is ours, and within reason, travel is no issue.

The three of us decided that we would try different cuisines every week, and with the girls (Laura and Dani) living in the quieter, leafier suburbs of Otley and Burley in Wharfedale, with me (Alex) living in what I frequently describe as the bronx, 5 minutes from central Leeds but gloriously populated by some of the best food joints in the country (confirmed) they usually end up meeting at mine and then we go into town to try somewhere a bit off the beaten track. Invariably, being three mums of young children, we eat at the speed of rabid dogs and end up having a bit of time to go explore some local weird shop or two, never anything mainstream like a department store. Oh no. We like vintage shops. You know the type, they smell like damp and the inside of your nan's wardrobe, and we prance around pretending to overlook the fact that we are just in a well laid out, slightly more selective charity shop without the undertone of giving. Usually there's some blue haired student with a headscarf and a faint stench of Bobby Orange pawing through piles of shirts and jumpers that are deemed as retro, when they've actually some of them originated in C&A - we remember that place the first time round,depressingly. The whole vintage scene is a bit ironic and try hard and a bit sad at times, but the one thing that it does offer is the piece you are often looking at, generally is one of one only in the store. The same goes for charity shops, generally. We like stuff that can't be bought in bulk.

Dani owns Deluxe Blooms, and is a luxury faux florist, and very good at it too. Laura is a nail technician and spray tanning afficionado, and the owner of Maibella Nails and Tanning. I own a salon called Lexa Hair, and the three of us work together frequently. The ridiculous thing is though, that work is going really well for us, and while in the past we may have dug around in charity shops for a bargain simply to be economical, now it has begun more of a habit. And you know what they say, old habits die hard. We don't have to eat streetfood on picnic tables anymore, and we can shop anywhere we want, but at least just for me, I don't like extravagance and I'm not impressed by labels or price tags. I like pieces that are unique,with a story behind them. My two accomplices sort of get dragged in to it I think, but they seem on board with most of it. I hope.

And street food is the best food on earth, everyone knows that.

We kicked things off with a visit to a fairly new (maybe a year old I think) Vietnamese place on North Lane in Headingley named VietBaker. Inside it's very wooden looking, quite industrial and urban, stained wood everywhere and dark red leather chairs. It smells like the rice cooker that's chugging away in the corner, mixed with plenty of garlic and of course, the fresh baguettes that are stacked up in a glass cabinet above the front desk.

We opted for a sharing platter for £9, and from the menu us Yorkshire ruffians requested spring rolls (the deep fried ones, not the fresh, healthy ones obviously), prawn toast, and 'rustic chips'.

This was skin on chips with salt and pepper (well cooked and so tasty) and the prawn toast was understandably made of baguette slices. It made for a much heavier slab of prawn toast and therefore an even more unhealthy treat but man alive, was it good. The spring rolls were pork, prawn and the usual crispy vegetables inside. Not floppy or soggy, totally crispy and served with a really light and watery sweet chilli dip that's more sweet than chilli. It was all very lovely.

I've personally eaten from here a number of times and I think the Vietnamese have got it absolutely nailed when they make sandwich. Or a Ban Mih. Laura and I opted for one each, chicken for her and pork for me. Dani went for something off the new part of the menu, the fusion section, which even featured a take on beef bourgignon, Vietnamese style. She tried the Shanghai pork belly, served with rice. Her whole bowl was piled high, and we're not talking a polite, peanuts size bowl. More like a ‘free ceramic crunchy nut cereal box’ bowl, with the with tokens on the back of the pack, that you’d send off as a kid. It was huge. The second bowl was just plain rice, which worked really well as the pork alone was…. alot. It was sticky and tangy and rich and all those other wanky words that just mean amazing. I'm trying so hard to limit the wankiness. I like writing and eating, combining the two is hard work though. Bear with me. The slow cooked pork made me feel a bit gutted I went for a sandwich until I got stuck in.

Vietnam was a former French colony, and much like their neighbour Cambodia, found their local best offerings being bastardised to accomodate the 'local palate'. The nice version is that the baguette was the French's gift to the Vietnamese, although I imagine it was more a case of 'put your lovely meal in my baguette for me or you're in deep shit.'

I've never been to Vietnam but having visited Cambodge a few summers back, I remember being astounded at the gorgeous, light, dairy free Asian cuisine that had been shoved in a crusty, warm baguette. Whoever's story was true, it's the absolute bollocks.

They cut this freshly baked baguette open and spread it with patè on one side and on the other mayonnaise (already weird but hang in there) - add a ton of crispy green leaves, cucumber, pickles, coriander and fresh chilies, and add some meat into what little room is left. Enough meat to give you meat sweats. It. Is. Superb.

The pork was very finely sliced, dark and sticky again (here she goes) and you can bang on a fried egg, too, if you're an absolute wrong un. No thanks.

Laura had the chicken which was a milder flavour but none the less tasty and flavoursome. I noticed Laura pulling bits off her sandwich and delicately chewing away at them, while I picked it up and ate it like I'd been sleeping in the dark arches for the last month. I even had to be asked to wipe my face. Sorry, not sorry. No messing with a Ban Mih. Especially not this one.

The bill was a very respectable £11 a head, and they threw in a free set of spring rolls for us, which was a nice unexpected surprise. The place had a steady flow of traffic, and although wasn't packed, I've been on an evening and I think it's safe to assume that's the bulk of their trade. It was fantastic food, very reasonable and highly recommended. Great staff and great location. We'll be back!

Afterwards we drove for about 3 days to find a parking spot anywhere near Hyde Park, so we could check out the newly (ish) renovated (OK sign replaced and possibly ownership changed) Vintage something or other in Hyde Park.

I forget the name, and if I'm brutally honest I can see why. It's alright, but it used to be alot better. The last time I went in there was alot of very old apothecary style wooden drawer units, some weird taxidermy, and unusual pictures in frames that would look incredible in the lounge. This time there was quite a bit of formica, and some hideously orange stained TV units that I guess in some context would be deemed as cool again.

The music collection seemed to be where the most effort had been made. The clothing was actually quite 'quirky' in the sense that you wouldn't actually wear alot of it, there was a whole department that seemed to have been handed over by the owner of the late knob head Jimmy Saville, shell suit after shell suit in every colour of the rainbow, in that non breathable fabric you'd get a two man tent in. Hideous. Still, there are some absolute finds in there. I would encourage people to bear in mind that these shops have a high stock turnaround and in their uniqueness, and ability to replace items based on sales, any vintage shop can be a complete bag of shite one week and a total gold mine the next. Its the luck of the drawer, I love that about them. That and the fact that we call them vintage shops. The three of us refer to them as shit shops, but potato patato.

I find it depressing that as I mentioned before, alot of the 'retro' stuff is just normal stuff we, in our 30s, encountered in our youth. There was a 'vintage phone' that was £15 and I'm pretty sure my gran has it now. It's literally a BT £10 phone still in argos, but clearly it had lived with a heavy smoker, adding to the aged facade.

Some of it was very authentic, some of it was broken crap, but the general feel of the place is a good one. There is more 70s stuff than anything else which is quite cool, but like I say, stock changes very frequently. Dani bought an oversized T shirt with a University football team logo emblazoned across it, and to be honest I would have too. There was a vast array of university related large varsity based sweaters, some unnecessarily cut in half width ways (why?!!!! Serves no purpose now, you fools) and that's the kind of thing I would have liked to look at. But as I was in charge of a one year old who was bombing around the floor, doubling as a human sweeping brush and coming back with more dust on him than the inside of the V6 after the attic stairs have been tackled, I gave it up as a bad job and put my bank card back away. No spending for mum today. Gutted.

The shop is pretty fabulous, on the whole. They do know how to charge when it comes to furniture, but the clothing is far more reasonable. It's not all one off pieces, a couple of items make an appearance a few times and that kind of ruins it for me, I start picturing some huge factory in China making hideously outdated clothing and leaving them in a damp garage for a few years, chucking a bit of tea down them and wearing the cuffs and collars down, before exporting the newly knackered pieces to us dumbasses in our 'quirky vintage shops'. Who knows. It's well laid out, and pretty cool, and although not my favourite, I imagine the next time I go it'll be a whole different experience. Swings and roundabouts with these places. It was an interesting look, and if Parker hadn't been doing his best ferret impression I would have definitely bought a jumper. Well worth a look.

Until next week!

Laura, Dani and Alex X

VietBaker, Headingley

https://www.thevietbaker.co.uk

Vintage Boutique, Hyde Park

https://vintageboutique.com

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unlimitedskyeproductions · 6 years ago

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101 Random Things About Aveian Kobayashi

1: full name is Aveian Hime Kobayashi (his middle name is literally Princess and honestly it fits) 2: he's the demonic personification of the Sin of Lust 3: unsurprisingly he's also a complete slut 4: those are literally the only three things you ever need to know about him but for the sake of this list I'll try to continue 5: approximately 1,200 years old 6: physically 16 7: generally always horny like 80% of the time 8: it's ridiculously easy to turn him on and like ;;;;; as soon as he gets excited he'll just drag you off to bed 9: used to be a demon but he was "purified" and now he's turning into an angel but he doesn't actually KNOW he's turning into an angel and it is just SUCH a long fucking story 10: when he was a demon he had badass fire powers 11: loves seducing people 12: ALWAYS AN UKE 13: THIS KID COULDN'T TOP A FUCKING LEAF IF HE TRIED 14: then again he also never actually WANTS to be dominant so this is a good thing for him 15: either super bi or super pan I'm not really sure anymore 16: predominantly sleeps with men but will go for a chick if dudes sre unavailable 17: sadomasochist 18: flirty and sassy in personality 19: also very classy usually 20: and also he's bit of a whiner and a crybaby 21: kind of flamboyant-ish 22: used to be a prince before he turned into a demon 23: proud of his promiscuity 24: I'm seriously running out of things to put on this list because his character is incredibly straightforward and not hard to process at all 25: will flirt with literally anyone 26: if he doesn't like you and you're trying to get with him he won't hesitate to throw you down and stomp on your head 27: has no idea what personal space means 28: VERY VERY AFFECTIONATE 29: loves being cuddled 30: always the little spoon 31: only ever eats candies nd fruits and desserts, and occasionally meat stuffs 32: really kinky and not afraid to try new positions in bed 33: has had sex more times in his life than probably any human alive 34: his bf has a really large dick so he is Always Satisfied 35: not sure what to put beyond this point 36: struggling to write this 37: loves shopping 38: he used to have blonde hair but it turned white when he became demon 39: and now it's blonde again because he turned back 40: suffering from frequent back pain because his angel wings are growing in 41: he's unaware of this happening 42: very very very fragile physically, mentally and emotionally 43: he'll cry if you bully him 44: once he starts crying you should start running becAUSE HIS BF IS THE PERSONIFICATION OF WRATH AND HE WILL NOT STAND FOR PEOPLE HURTING HIS LITTLE ANGEL AND HE WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU 45: so please don't bully Aveian okay 46: spends about 45 minutes a day just staring at himself in the mirror 47: usually without clothes on 48: refuses to wear any kind of socks that stop before his mid-knee 49: not entirely sure how technology works because he was born in the year 803 and he's just so confused by modern things 50: once tried humping a vacuum cleaner because be didn't know what it was for (it looked hilarious by the way) 51: can't believe I got more than halfway done with this oh my god 52: if he didn't live with 6 other people (2 of which being minors) he'd literally just walk around naked all day because he can (except he can't) 53: always sleeps without clothes on (if it's cold outside he'll sometimes wear very slinky silk pajamas) 54: loves dressing up in all kinds of cute and sexy lingerie to both feel pretty and also to show off for his bf 55: will not hesitate to smack a bitch if need be 56: this is gonna sound a bit weird outta context but I seem to have attributed the Touhou song Septette for a Dead Princess to this guy and it actually really fits despite it being kinda weird to do that 57: once tried to get a friend to kill him because he was So Fucking Done with life as a demon and he was miserable 58: unfortunately he survived 59: aaaaaaand then his bf found out 60: and called him selfish for being miserable 61: I could honestly go on but if I did I'd be relaying 3 weeks worth of emailed roleplays with a friend and I'm just not fucking doing that 62: can't handle being yelled at 63: his bf used to be very physically abusive but he's doing better now 64: he always said his bf hit him because he didn't know any other way to show love (this is half right, considering his bf is literally Wrath incarnate) 65: loves cute fluffy things like tiny animals and stuff 66: one time when he was still a demon he brought home a bunch of tiny floofy kittens and spent the entire day playing with them 67: unfortunately his bf burned and ate them 68: can't swim at all 69: really really really loves giving blowjobs 70: always swallows 71: did you know that if you rearrange the letters in Lust, it spells Slut? 72: pretty ironic, huh? 73: random fact while I struggle to write more shit 74: recently figured out how the internet works and now he's addicted to instagram 75: he takes selfies daily and he already has 164 followers 76: his account has been up for a week 77: y e a h 78: let that sink in 79: fucking ridiculous 80: will not eat vegetables ever 81: all of his shoes have heels 82: he dresses like a girl really fucking often 83: he's not a trap and nor is he trans - he just really really loves feeling pretty 84: favorite color is purple 85: HE FUCKING HATES COFFEE 86: occasionally he gets really hyper for no reason and it's suepr cute how excited he gets when you notice that haircut he got a month ago 87: occasionally his bf will flirt with him nd get him all excited and then tease him by denying any sexual advances 88: this drives him insane and he really hates being forced to go rub one out on his own 89: really chill during the day but gets super excited as soon as it's nighttime and he immediately runs outside to the garden and dances under the moonlight 90: loves when it's a full moon because it's super pretty 91: when he turned into a demon he burned down the castle he lived in during a fit of rage which ended up killing his father (aka the fucking king of that country) 92: he doesn't regret his choices 93: deeply misses his mother 94: had two younger siblings at the time but he can't remember if they survived or not 95: they're sure as sHIT not alive now 96: it was in 819 and it's 2019 now so like-- 97: basic math is important 98: I dunno what to put here anymore 99: I'VE COME THIS FAR AND I CAN'T THINK OF A 100TH THING 100: why did I write all of this at 2 am 101: don't fuck with demons

#unlimitedskyeproductions #aveian kobayashi #oc info #100 random things

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joonie-beanie · 7 years ago

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Oh, Baby (Namjoon x Reader) Pt. 17

[Pt 1] [Pt 2] [Pt 3] [Pt 4] [Pt 5] [Pt 6] [Pt 7] [Pt 8] [Pt 9] [Pt 10] [Pt 11] [Pt 12] [Pt 13] [Pt 14] [Pt 15] [Pt 16] [Pt 18]

Pairing: Namjoon/RM x Reader Rating: M Genre: Smut/Mafia-ish AU

Words: 4,982

Summary: You were only supposed to have seen him twice. Only twice, no more, but now you’re getting dragged into situations you never wished for and Namjoon just keep showing up.

A/N: Hey would you look at that. I managed an update...I think? I’m really tired rn lmao. Jet lag is still kicking my ass. Anyway! 3 chapters left after this~ I just finished the plot too, so hopefully I’ll be able to update faster. No promises though lol.

Enjoy~

Yoongi finds himself standing in Namjoon’s living room, fingers fiddling with the bowtie around his neck. He decides to wear it loose, and judges against wearing any kind of necklace, because the last thing he needs is additional routes leading to death by strangulation.

His black button down is fitted to him well—tucked neatly into his dark trousers. His blazer hangs by his sides, unbuttoned, and he feels too open without a gun tucked beneath his belt. The realization makes him frown, but he knows this is the safest route, and instead moves to mess with his cufflinks instead.

A few seconds later, a door clicks open behind him, and Yoongi turns to survey his closest friend.

Namjoon’s outfit is perhaps a little more suited to a ball atmosphere than Yoongi’s. His velvet black blazer is a little…flashy (at least in Yoongi’s opinion), but beneath the blazer his white dress shirt is perfectly unwrinkled, very loosely tucked into the waistband of his tight-fitting…

“Are those jeans?” Yoongi questions, frowning in distaste, and Namjoon turns to stare at him. His eyes rake Yoongi up and down, and then he frowns as well.

“If you’re allowed to go to a ball wearing all black, I’m not allowed to take liberty with my clothes and decide to wear dark jeans?”

“Touché,” Yoongi concedes, but rolls his eyes. After all, in the end, their outfits aren’t exactly the most imperative part of tonight. They’re not going to this ball to have a good time.

Staring at his best friend, Yoongi feels nostalgia pang within his chest. Namjoon is no longer the scared 19 year old Yoongi had decided to pitifully share half his meal with all those years ago, when he’d spotted Namjoon curled in on himself in the back of the gang’s hideout. He’d been thin—hair unkempt, and face unshaved—not moving from his spot unless called upon. He had looked like the whole world was crumbling around him, when in reality the world continued to move, and Namjoon had instead decided to disconnect.

He hadn’t looked too young to be a part of their gang—younger kids than him had gotten into the mafia way of life—but at a mere glance Yoongi could tell that Namjoon hadn’t joined by choice. And while Yoongi had, that didn’t mean couldn’t sympathize, and that he never regretted his decision.

And so, Yoongi had managed to get Namjoon to raise his head—and not out fear of discipline, but out of curiosity—because Namjoon had heard the sincere concern in Yoongi’s tone. And kindness—which had vanished from Namjoon’s life weeks before—was exactly what he needed to feel in that moment.

Almost immediately, Namjoon had taken to Yoongi like a lost puppy, and while, at that time, Yoongi had no real intention of becoming Namjoon’s keeper, he had let the younger boy stay near.

After that, slowly, Namjoon had opened up—no longer refusing to acknowledge the new world which he resided in—and, in return, Yoongi had quietly begun to take to Namjoon. His wit and knowledge became obvious to their men. He was able to tackle problems or lay out strategies within seconds. And the more Yoongi realized that Namjoon wasn’t just a scared kid with no hope, the more Yoongi’s heart had let Namjoon in.

However, it was Namjoon who—during the moment that the world flipped upside down—grabbed Yoongi’s hand, looked him straight in the eyes, and had told him that they needed to run.

It was Yoongi who, when another, stronger gang attacked their hideout, stood in shock, hand reaching toward his gun, ready to run into the fray. When Namjoon stopped him, Yoongi’s anger had exploded—where was the loyalty?? Their gang was being attacked! And yet, the seriousness swirled together with the heartache in Namjoon’s eyes, and, as the screams of the men he had come to know rang out in the background, Namjoon had asked Yoongi one question.

“Are you ready to die?”

That day, Namjoon and Yoongi had abandoned their gang.

Yoongi had feared for the future—what would become of them? What would happen if anyone from their gang found out that they had abandoned them that day? Yet, when no one came looking for them after the massacre, it became obvious that had Yoongi not fled with Namjoon, he would be dead as well.

“Do you ever wish you would’ve fled alone?” Yoongi finds himself asking, eyes angled towards the space on the floor between him and Namjoon. Silence descends, and Yoongi glances up, meeting Namjoon’s puzzled, slightly angry stare.

“Do you wish I had?”

“That’s not what I asked,” Yoongi mumbles, and Namjoon turns to look in the floor length mirror on the wall. Yoongi watches him as he silently messes with his styled blond hair, which has now gone dark at the roots.

“After my whole world crumbled, you were the only one that managed to make me see hope again. If you had died that day, I don’t know where I’d be.”

Yoongi sighs at the sentimentality, “Joon—”

“You know I’m right,” Namjoon interrupts, eyes flicking up and meeting Yoongi’s through the mirror. “Do you regret coming with me?”

“No,” Yoongi answers without hesitation, and Namjoon nods his head, satisfied. However, Yoongi only sighs again, back hunching as he furrows his brows. The room descends into silence, and when Namjoon moves to grab his wallet and keys from the kitchen table—brushing past Yoongi—the elder finally speaks up.

“You know, Joon…if we do this tonight we’re probably fucked.”

Without pausing in his stride, seemingly unbothered, Namjoon replies.

“You can back out if you want. I wouldn’t blame you.”

At that, Yoongi bites his tongue angrily, arm lashing out as he takes a step forward.

“You’re—! You’re such a fucking softie, and goddamn I think a part of me hates you for it, but I’m not bitching out now. Not after all the shit we’ve been through together.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Namjoon responds sincerely, and his tone causes Yoongi’s building frustration to melt. Instead, curiosity coats his next question.

“But…why now? Why her? You’ve come so far, and are risking the loss of so much…”

At that, Namjoon pauses. He stares at the table top, face relaxed even as he attempts to find a way to describe the thoughts floating around in his mind.

As he thinks, Yoongi moves around to the other side of the kitchen, gathering up his own keys and wallet. It’s not until the two are beside each other at the door to Namjoon’s apartment that he finally answers.

“It’s because…I see a lot of me in her. A college student that got dragged into a different world because of a mistake. My mistake. I made a mistake by confusing her for Jaehyuk’s daughter, but I don’t regret letting her go—not even when you dragged her back here a second time. I was the catalyst for all of this—so no matter my feelings for her—I owe her this much. I have to do right by her, hyung. I know you must understand.”

“I do,” Yoongi responds quietly, stepping out after Namjoon as the two exit his apartment. They both pause to stare at the closed door, wondering if they’ll ever see it again, but nonetheless they turn their backs and move on.

They don’t have any more time to dwell what was or what could’ve been. They need to get moving.

Because tonight, it all ends.

The closer Namjoon and Yoongi get to Jeon Enterprises, the more crowded the streets become. Lanes are blocked off—police are directing guest’s one direction or another, pointing the VIP’s towards the valet parking. However, Yoongi doesn’t follow the flow of traffic. He takes a back alleyway, splitting off from Namjoon—who had been driving in front of him.

Since Namjoon is a guest, he has no reason to beat around the bush about his means of entry. But Yoongi, on the other hand—

He pulls into the fresh parking lot of a building under construction. The “Do Not Enter” signs have been moved out of the way, and when Yoongi turns into the lot, he immediately spots Jimin, leaning against the trunk of his car. There’s a case of guns laid out in front of him, and he’s checking every magazine, making sure each firearm is ready to go.

However, when Yoongi’s headlights flash against the side of Jimin’s car as he pulls into a nearby parking spot, Jimin’s head jolts up. His hand instinctively reaches for a gun, but when he sees that it’s Yoongi, he relaxes.

“Where are the others?” Yoongi asks, stepping out of his vehicle, and Jimin grunts.

“Where do you think? Everything is on track right now. Did Namjoon hyung head to the ball?”

“Yeah. He was right ahead of me,” Yoongi confirms, stepping up beside Jimin, and when he reaches for one of the guns Jimin smacks his hand away. Yoongi clicks his tongue, grumbling.

“I wasn’t gonna do anything…”

“I didn’t think you were,” Jimin laughs, and then, after surveying the array of firearms one more time, flips the case shut and locks it. Turning, he meets Yoongi’s stare and then hands the case over. Yoongi takes it, the armored case heavy in his grasp.

“We better get going,” Jimin tells him, “the ball should already be in full swing, and I don’t know how long—”

“Yeah—just—give me a second, Minnie,” Yoongi interrupts. He steps forward, caging Jimin against the trunk of the car, and Jimin cocks an eyebrow. Not daring to say anything, Yoongi lifts his free hand and caresses Jimin’s rosy cheek.

After a few seconds, the older sighs.

“If I die—”

“You won’t.”

“—shut up, brat. If I die, I want you to know how I feel, so—”

“You’re not going to die, hy—,” Jimin begins to refute yet again, but part way through his words Yoongi’s lips find his, and he’s silenced. Jimin stares at Yoongi’s half lidded eyes in shock, but when the elder grips Jimin’s chin, eyes closing as he deepens the kiss, Jimin presses forward. His hands cup Yoongi’s face, eyes pressing shut as he returns the gesture.

Neither of them are quite sure how long their bout of kisses last, but it’s not until Jimin is fully seated on the trunk of his car, Yoongi’s free hand gripping the younger’s ass, that Yoongi finally manages to break away.

“Didn’t you say we needed to go?” he whispers against Jimin’s lips, and Jimin nods, his hand untangling from Yoongi’s hair.

“Yeah,” he says, just as quiet, and with one final kiss Yoongi and Jimin separate. They pile into Jimin’s car, the case of firearms resting on Yoongi’s lap, and without another word exit the structure.

10 minutes later, Jimin pulls up behind the Jeon enterprises building. He and Yoongi take a single glance at each other, sharing a determined nod, and then Yoongi spills out of the car. He’s never been a good actor, exactly, but right now he’ll certainly put aside any fear embarrassment in order to fulfill his role.

“Hey--,” the security guard yells at him as he flurries past the gate, but Yoongi doesn’t stop, instead pointing to the case in his hand.

“I’m part of the photography crew! I’m late—!”

“You still need to check in!” the security guard yells back, hand on his walkie as he prepares to give chase, but at that moment a figure appears at the back entrance of the building.

“Hey! Where the hell have you been??” the male calls, and Yoongi silently approves of the fact that Hoseok doesn’t look like he’s shaking in his boots. Apparently he can get his shit together when he needs to.

“Sorry! I got caught up in all the traffic!” Yoongi apologizes sheepishly as Hoseok pulls him inside, and when Yoongi chances a glance over his shoulder, he notes that the security guard has now given up on chasing him.

What a shitty guard, but then again, lucky for them.

Continuing to pull Yoongi along, Hoseok eventually stops and darts into a small side room. He locks the door behind Yoongi, and then proceeds to release the most stressed sigh Yoongi has ever heard, his body deflating.

“You’ve made it this far,” Yoongi comments, attempting to give Hoseok some reassurance as he kneels down and opens the brief case. Hoseok makes a small noise at the sight of the guns, but Yoongi pays him no mind.

“Get undressed.”

“You’re such the friendly guy, Yoongi hyung,” Hoseok snorts sarcastically, but nonetheless begins taking off his clothes. Pleated white dress shirt, form fitting black slacks, and a black bowtie around his neck—he looks perfectly like one of the waiters scattered throughout the ballroom.

“And no one could tell that you weren’t a part of the crew?” Yoongi says, standing as he begins to undress as well. Hoseok shakes his head.

“Everyone is too busy. Too many important people here. They saw the way I was dressed and immediately assumed I was wait-staff without even asking.”

“Good,” Yoongi says, and once the two males are down to their wife beaters and briefs, they change clothes.

“A little big but it will work,” Yoongi comments, smoothing his hands down the front of Hoseok’s clothing. Once Hoseok is dressed, he looks Yoongi over as well.

“You fit the part. But are you sure you wanna change roles? After the security guard saw you?”

“The fat fuck doesn’t give a shit. He’s gonna sit out there all night tapping his foot to the music. Why? You want to be the one confronting our good friends Jaehyuk and Jeon? Or would you rather pose as the photographer and pass out some guns?”

Hoseok sighs, brows furrowing. “Jin hyung did say passing out guns would be safer…”

“Then there you go, Hoseok,” Yoongi responds, smacking the younger male on the shoulder. Hoseok winces, but nonetheless leans down and picks up the briefcase. Before he can begin filling the guns into the fake camera bag also stuffed within the case, however, Yoongi is sure to stop him, picking out his gun of choice. He tucks it beneath his belt, and thankfully the weapon remains hidden due to the length of his suit jacket.

Nodding, Yoongi then spares Hoseok one last glance before he straightens himself out and exits the room. He knows that Hoseok will take another minute or two before he’s done concealing the guns, but that’s fine, because Yoongi doesn’t need anyone wondering why a photographer and waiter had been locked in a closet together.

Deciding to follow the sound of the music, Yoongi maneuvers his way down the short halls. He breathes deep, trying to relax the tense muscles in his back and shoulders, and reminds himself that all he can do for now is trust in their plan, and play his role the best he can. He hates feeling nervous—like his win isn’t guaranteed—but if everything goes as it should, then…

Yoongi pauses. On his right is a small pantry, in which a few other waiters are refilling trays of champagne and hors d'oeuvres. Popping his head into the room, Yoongi happily offers to take one of the trays out to the floor, and the other waiter’s just grunt at him, moving their heads in a way that Yoongi can tell is approval.

So, after grabbing a tray, Yoongi turns back around and continues following the chatter and flow of people to the ballroom floor. For a brief second, he pauses in the entrance way, the expanse of the pristine room stretching before him, but in that moment any of his persistent nervousness is squashed by the determination of what he must do, and he starts forward.

First things first—he needs to find you.

You find yourself toted around the ballroom like some kind of show dog—Jaehyuk keeping you in close proximity, and more times than not his hand gripping your wrist or resting heavily on your waist. Between the millions of thoughts going on in your mind, you still manage to note that Jaehyuk doesn’t seem entirely comfortable being at the center of the ball.

I suppose he is supposed to be dead, you think, blaming his behavior on that. You’re sure there are people here who heard rumors and would be shocked to see that Jaehyuk is up and walking.

Speaking of—

“This is my daughter, Y/N,” you hear him say, his fingernails digging into your waist, and you force a smile on instinct. You don’t even know who it is you’re talking to, or what has been said. “Tonight, Kim Namjoon dies” has been on the forefront of your mind from the moment Jaehyuk had said it, and you can’t deny that since then you’ve been trying to spot Namjoon, rather than paying attention to the people Jaehyuk has begun to converse with.

Understandably, you’re still in shock. Jeon teaming up with Jaehyuk…Namjoon being targeted by them both, and the fact that they’re apparently planning to kill him at the ball tonight. Which means that he’s here, just within your reach, but…it’s… it’s just... a lot to try and wrap your head around, really. But you aren’t given the chance to figure out all your thoughts—aren’t given a second to take a deep breath and reaffirm your hopes that everything will turn out alright. Which is why, right now, you’re panicked and nervous and definitely not acting the way Jaehyuk expects his perfect little “daughter” to.

“I apologize,” you say after you feel Jaehyuk’s grip tighten, vaguely managing to hear the couple in front of you asking if you’re alright. “I’m very taken by this song, and began to recall some memories of dancing to it, that is all. I’m sorry my attention was elsewhere, but please, continue the conversation.”

You smile, hoping it comes across as reassuring, and you must succeed in plastered said emotion on your face, because the couple across from you immediately smiles in understanding, the conversation turning towards the atmosphere of the ball rather than whatever the 3 had been discussing before.

This time, you attempt to keep your eyes straight and your ears focused on what is being said, but it’s still hard. Should you run? If Namjoon is here maybe you’ve got a fighting chance with him. Jaehyuk is certainly overwhelming when you’re just by yourself, but maybe if Namjoon were here he would be able to snatch you away, and you could both be out of here before Jeon or Jaehyuk had the chance to do anything.

Or…or maybe Jungkook (your heart aches at the thought of him, since you have to consider the possibility that he was never your friend, even though you’d come to care for him so deeply) would be surprised to see you and come to intercept you and Jaehyuk. The entire ballroom is so large…if only you could get away and run for the exit, then maybe—

“Hey,” Jaehyuk growls, his tight grip switching to your wrist as he begins pulling you away from where you’d been standing. You break out of your thoughts, looking up to find him staring back at you with a highly displeased glare, and you can only guess that wherever he’s dragging you right now will be a place where no one will be able to hear his angry, berating words.

The thought of fighting him off and trying to run once again enters your mind, but—

At that moment a shoulder roughly bumps into you—hard enough to cause Jaehyuk to lose his grip on you, and for your ass to hit the ground. You’re already thinking about how your chest and ass are going to be sore for the next few days from the blow when a hand descends in front of your face.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” a voice rings out, and you’d call it unfamiliar, but it’s…not. “Are you ok? I didn’t even see you.”

You turn your eyes upward, opening your mouth to assure the person that you are, but when you see the person’s face no words come out. Dark eyes, an unblemished rounded face, and freshly dyed brown hair—but despite the change in color there is no mistaking this man.

Min Yoongi.

His face expresses sincere surprise, his hand still offered to you as he kneels down, meeting your shocked stare head on. Yet, there’s something in his eyes, this seriousness that causes your previously racing mind to pause. A sliver of your rationality comes back, and you realize that if Yoongi is here, something must be going on.

Your eyes quickly scan his body, noting that he’s not dressed like a guest. In fact, he looks like one of the waiters you’d seen wandering around—and your educated guess is also confirmed by the fact there’s a silver serving plate stashed under his other arm.

If Yoongi is posing as a waiter, then—

You meet his stare again, and his gaze hardens. You see Jaehyuk’s shadow loom over Yoongi, and your throat tightens, but Yoongi nods his head ever so slightly, inclining his outstretched hand towards you again, and you breathe deep.

Trust me.

And you do, reaching your hand forward and placing it in Yoongi’s. His face changes back to a look of worry as he stands and reclaims his role as a waiter, asking again if you’re uninjured. However, as he does so, helping you back to your feet, he squeezes your hand so hard in his grasp that it feels like your bones might break, and you hiss in pain.

What the--?! Wasn’t he supposed to be helping you?!

“Crap, did you hurt your hand?” he asks, fake concern lacing his voice, and he squeezes your hand once more before loosening his grip. You get the idea.

“I—I must have,” you say, pretending to be hurt, as Yoongi begins to gingerly look your hand over. You note he doesn’t completely let go of you, not even when Jaehyuk steps up, face red with annoyance, and tries to tug you away.

“Why the hell weren’t you watching where you were going?” he accuses Yoongi, his hand wrapping around your waist, and you see Yoongi clench his jaw slightly before relaxing and figuring out what lie to say next.

“I’m sorry, sir, it was my mistake. But it seems like her hand is hurt,” Yoongi says, and Jaehyuk’s eyes flit down to where Yoongi is still steadily holding your hand, keeping it level, as if something had been broken.

“We have a medical room on this floor if you’d like to—”

Jaehyuk’s eyes narrow before Yoongi can say anymore. “She’ll be fine, I’m sure,” he says, tone clipped, and his eyes rake Yoongi up and down, suspicion clearly painted on his face. Luckily, it seems Jaehyuk doesn’t know who Yoongi is, because he takes no drastic measures—simply tightens his grip on you and prepares to walk away.

“Sir, it really wouldn’t be a problem. I’m sure we could find a doctor nearby as well if you don’t trust our medical staff—”

“Like I said,” Jaehyuk nearly hisses, tugging you away from Yoongi and causing him to lose his grip on your hand, “I’m sure she’s fine—!”

Your eyes widen as Jaehyuk begins to drag you away, Yoongi temporarily dropping his façade as his face morphs into a scowl, his feet moving on their own as he takes a step forward to pursue the both of you. There’s no way he can let you get away--! But…suddenly he stops, eyes shifting over your shoulder, and you see some of the desperation wash out of his gaze.

“I heard someone say that you may be in need of a doctor—is there anything I can do to help?”

God, this is not a voice you had expected to hear, but you’d recognize this friendly, professional tone anywhere. And, sure enough, when you turn along with Jaehyuk to find who had spoken, you end up face to face with none other than Kim Seokjin. His smile is tinged with a little more stress than you’re used to seeing, but this is, indeed, Jin.

“Like I said, she’s fine,” Jaehyuk repeats himself, his fingers curling into your already bruised waist, and you can tell that he’s getting desperate. It’s no longer just Yoongi that he needs to get away from. Jin and Yoongi have him caught on both sides. It’s 2 on 1, and suddenly things are starting to turn in your favor.

“Sir, I assure you I have the credentials to be treating her. Here,” Jin speaks up, still smiling friendlily. He doesn’t seem to be put off by Jaehyuk’s obviously nervous outbursts, even though to any regular person you’re sure it would be transparent that something somewhat out of the ordinary was occurring right now.

Begrudgingly, and somewhat curious, Jaehyuk reaches out and takes the business card Jin produces without ever letting you out of his grasp. As his eyes turn down to read the writing on the face of the card, your eyes flick up to Jin’s. His eyes crease, smile becoming more genuine, and you almost feel like crying.

For the first time in many days you are finally beginning to feel that you’ll be able to get out of here—with everyone—and achieve your happy ending.

“Kim Seokjin, huh?” Jaehyuk speaks up, and you hear the interest in his tone. Clearly he suspects Jin far less than Yoongi. “What’s a young, handsome doctor like you doing here, of all places?”

“Oh, you know,” Jin laughs, playing it cool. “Looking to make a few…ties. See if anyone would like to bargain with my services, to help me get what I want.”

You know for a fact that Jin is lying, but clearly Jaehyuk doesn’t, because his eyes light up like its Christmas. Clearly he’s enthralled at the idea of having a doctor on his side. What mafia boss wouldn’t be?

“I may be able to help with that,” Jaehyuk chuckles, and reaches out his free hand. “Jaehyuk.”

Smiling wider, Jin reaches his hand out as well, and as soon as the two make contact Jaehyuk curses, rearing back. The grip on your waist disappears, and you take a step away, immediately running into Yoongi who is already at your side.

“What…?” Jaehyuk mumbles, turning his hand palm side up. He’s bleeding, but only slightly. And the wound…it almost looks the size of a needle.

Rage filling his eyes, Jaehyuk turns his eyes up to Jin. “You--!” He notes that you’ve backed into Yoongi, being held by him protectively, and his face darkens. “What did you--!”

At that moment, just as Jaehyuk’s voice begin to crescendo, his anger reaching new heights in the middle of his panicking, he stops. He sways on his feet, and you watch as his eyes roll into the back of his skull. Someone nearby gasps, but Jin is at Jaehyuk’s side before he can hit the floor.

“It’s ok, I’m a doctor!” He assures as other patrons of the ball gather around the scene. Clearly no one had been focused on their previous interactions, because no one suspects that Jin is the one who has caused this. Instead, they praise him for being so quick acting in such a situation, and Jin begins to conduct a fake evaluation on Jaehyuk.

At that moment, Yoongi moves his grip to your wrist and begins to hurriedly tug you away. Jin looks up when he sees the movement, and he flashes you one last sympathetic smile, one that reads ‘it will be ok, Y/N—breathe’ before you lose his face in the crowd.

High above the dance floor, watching from the large window of his private room, Jeon narrows his eyes. Stood beside him, Taehyung’s eyes sort through the crowd on the floor below. He hadn’t been paying much attention before now, but both he and Jeon had heard the murmurs, and had walked over to see what was going on.

“What’s happening?” a third voice suddenly questions, and Jeon Jungkook steps up on the other side of his father, eyes worriedly scanning the floor below.

“Not sure,” Taehyung comments, but he has begun to piece everything together. Even though most of the patrons below look like ants, he can still spot that in the center of the commotion there is a man lying on the floor, and that that someone looks eerily like their good old pal Jaehyuk.

Which means…

Taehyung begins to search the surrounding crowd, and it’s not hard to spot the two bodies weaving their way away from the scene.

“I’m going to go make sure everything is alright--!” Jungkook speaks up, turning to make for the door, but his father stops him.

“No, you will go nowhere,” he commands, voice like ice, and the CEO’s eyes shift over to Taehyung. It seems Jeon has noticed the cause of the disturbance as well.

“I think Cinderella may be trying to leave the ball early,” Taehyung comments quietly, his lips stretching into an amused grin, and Jeon grunts. His eyes slide shut, arms folding behind his back, and he turns away from Taehyung.

“Shame. Taehyung, go,” he speaks, and Taehyung doesn’t need to hear more than that.

Grin widening, Taehyung turns and makes for the door, pulling his gun from beneath his belt. He brushes past Jungkook and winks, not noticing the fear and worry that is apparent on the younger’s face.

“Be right back. Gotta kill some nosey mice and make sure our princess doesn’t get away.”

[Pt 16] | [Pt 18]

#oh baby #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #bts fic #bts mafia au #yoongi fic #jungkook fic #jimin fic #yoonmin fic #well there's a little #idk how to tag #jin fic #hoseok fic #taehyung fic #namjoon fic #ok that's good #fic

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toomanysurveys9 · 7 years ago

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How much time do you spend putting on makeup daily?: usually i don’t spend any time on makeup. on the rare occasion i wear it, maybe 5-10 minutes.. i don’t wear much...

Do you own a webcam?: there is a built in webcam on my computer.

What is your favorite perfume, fragrance, cologne?: i like the blackheart perfume from hot topic..

What does your favorite jacket look like?: i don’t have a favorite jacket.

Have you ever been to Savannah, Georgia?: i don’t think so.

On average, about how many notecards do you think you use per month?: none.

Did you watch Barney when you were younger?: yeah. i used to be obsessed with him.

Do you have a drink sitting nearby that is yours?: my water bottle. that has water in it.

How many bracelets do you wear on average?: usually none.

How many lightbulbs are currently on in your room?: none.

Have you ever heard of a band called The Afters?: i think i’ve heard of them. i don’t know if i’ve heard any of their music though.

Do you play any instruments?: not well enough to answer yes.

Have you ever worn faux eyelashes?: i have not.

What is the shortest that you’ve ever cut your hair?: a little bit past my chin.

What is your favorite flag from any country?: i don’t really have a favorite..

What type of cell phone service do you have?: xfinity. they use verizon towers.

Is it true that ginger ale can help cure a stomach ache?: i don’t know that it really cures it but it can help i feel like.

How many pairs of glasses (not sunglasses) have you owned?: none. i have never needed them.

What color is your flash-drive?: black and red.

Do you own any of those thick rubber bracelets? not anymore. i used to.

Have you ever built a sand castle?: oh yeah. many, many times.

When listening to a song, what do you listen for (lyrics, bass, beat, etc)?: lyrics and rhythm mostly.

Do you own more than 20 guitar picks?: i do not.

Have you ever worn a bandanna?: when i was a lot younger. What is the color of your toothbrush?: mostly pink.

Do you wish you owned a ray gun?: can’t say i ever thought about owning one of those.

What is your favorite color(s) of eye-makeup?: natural colors for eye shadow... and then black for eyeliner and mascara.

Do you own a pair of white converse?: i do not.

Are pink erasers really all that great?: i never really cared about erasers or their colors..

Have you ever worn a thumb ring?: i have not.

Is Katy Perry overrated?: i mean, i’m not really a fan, but i don’t know if she’s overrated.

Have you ever tried a Root Beer barrel?: i have not.

Do you agree with the phrase, “Hugs! Not drugs!”?: i mean... whatever.

What is the longest pair of earrings you own?: i don’t think i even own any earrings.

What brand of TV do you own?: i’m not sure what jacob’s tv is. i don’t actually own one myself.

Do you like My Chemical Romance’s album, Danger Days?: i don’t have that one, so i don’t know.

What is the color of your bedroom walls?: uh. tan-ish with a green accent wall thing.

How often do you use sharpies?: like, once every few months or something?

Why is there always a light in the fridge but not the freezer?: i don’t know.

Do you have a subscription to Alternative Press?: i do not.

Are high school football games fun?: i only went to a couple. they’re not my most favorite thing in the world. never have been.

Do you think Kanye West is a dick?: i guess he can be. but i don’t know. i don’t pay that much attention to him.

Do you own a dog?: we have two dogs. although we are probably going to have to find cocoa a new home because she keeps starting fights with phe and the last thing we need is to take another dog to the emergency vet.

At what size do ear gauges become gross?: when they super stretch out someone’s ear lobes.

How many concert posters do you own?: none.

You walk into Starbucks. What do you want to order?: small caramel frappuccino. i rarely order anything from starbucks though. it’s so expensive.

What type of car are you in most?: my parents’ toyota.

Is there a cork board in your bedroom?: nope.

Are you currently using a laptop?: i am.

Do you obsess over the Super Bowl on a yearly basis?: i do not. i’m not all that into football, or any sports.

What color is the shirt you are currently wearing?: mostly dark gray.

If you wear a necklace, do you keep it on for over a month?: i don’t really wear necklaces much.. but i don’t usually wear them that long without taking them off.

What is your favorite type of flower?: lilacs. but i love any pretty colored flowers. :)

How old will you be in 15 months? twenty-six.

Who was the last person who texted you? jacob. he just now told me he wants clothes washed before he gets home so he has shorts to play basketball and whatever else...

What is your current status? like, relationship status? i’m married.

What are you listening to? the kiddos playing and ashley is watching law and order: svu.

What are your plans for tomorrow? not a thing besides paying bills.

Who is the last person you had a face to face conversation with? i told lilli not to plug in the vacuum (wyatt is playing with it - all the toys and he wants the things that aren’t toys lol).

Do you believe in love at first sight? something like that. i’m a mom. i loved my babies before i actually saw them. but i don’t believe in romantic love at first sight.

Was yesterday better than today? not really. but it wasn’t really bad either.

What did your last text message say? i was just telling jacob that his clothes should be done right around six, which is when he gets off, and that i loved him.

Do you prefer to call or text? text. calls kind of freak me out.

What’s the nearest green object to you? there is some green on some of the toys not too far from me.

What were you doing at 12 am last night? i think i was sleeping by then?

When is the last time you saw your mom? a few hours ago.

Have you kissed someone in the last 2 weeks? i have.

How many houses have you lived in? at least nine, but it’s actually been a few more than that even (including trailers and apartments)...

What are you doing for your next birthday? i have no idea and it’s only a little over a week away.

What is your favorite color? blue, black, and gray.

What are you thinking about right now? that lilli is being especially frustrating today.

Any plans for this weekend? saturday i might be meeting two cousins - my grandpa finally found his twins that he has been searching for for years. unfortunately, terry passed away a few months before grandpa found them... jerry is still living. but we are probably meeting terry’s kids this weekend. either tomorrow or saturday. and saturday kayla’s parents rented a cabin for her for her birthday, so she invited jacob, wy, and me to go hangout with her there which we said we would do. jacob and kayla have plans of getting trashed. so i’m not sure what wy and i will be doing. but brittany and john will also be there, and brittany is also pregnant, so i won’t be the only sober one at least. i might drive wy and myself home when things start getting too crazy.

Do you have anything bothering you? not really at the moment.

Do you smile often? i smile a lot more now that wyatt is around. he’s the light of my life.

When was the last time you cried? i don’t remember.

Have you ever had a life threatening injury? not injury, no. i’ve had illnesses/health things that almost killed me though.

Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? nope.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? yeah. but it’s been a long time, thank goodness. being up that long straight isn’t my favorite. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? nope. i sleep with wy and jacob. i’m kind of excited for our room to get finished so i can start transferring wy to his own bed, and then his own room, before ellie is born. How often do you remember your dreams? pretty often, which kind of sucks sometimes. because they get weird, and sometimes just plain bad.

What is the main ring tone on your phone? just some preset ring tone.

What is something that you do too much? procrastinate.

Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth? yeah. i do.

Are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others? i mean. i don’t read for other people, but i will read with people around. but nothing comes to mind that i wouldn’t do ever around people. What’s one bad or inconvenient habit you used to have but no longer do? i haven’t self-harmed in a very long time. the urge still arises though. sometimes it’s strong. but i don’t because my babies. Do you find it difficult to kick a habit or a routine that’s detrimental? yeah. kind of. When was the last time you had a particularly hectic day? when we closed on our house on june 28th.

How often is your schedule busier than you would like for it to be? rarely. we rarely have anywhere to go or anyone to come over. Is there anyone in your life who expects a lot out of you? i mean, jacob kind of does. he expects me to do EVERYTHING besides actually get a job outside the home, and that will probably be added to the list after ellie is born. but i already work myself to complete exhaustion... he goes to work and then goes out with friends or comes home and plays video games. if he sees wy needs anything, i’m told. plus i have to make sure he (jacob) is fed, has work clothes, pack his lunch, etc. and eliana isn’t even here yet.. Are you more inclined to listen to your own intuition and/or desires, or to be persuaded by the suggestions and coercion of others? eh. i guess my own intuition. i’m not really around people for the suggestions and stuff. Where’s one place you’ve spent a lot of time lately? home. which isn’t all bad because i love our house. just gets a little lonely i suppose sometimes. Is there anywhere you wish you could spend more time? not really. What do you do when you simply don’t know what to do? try to get wy to play. lol. Are there any choices that make you particularly indecisive? where to get food. or what to make for dinner. lol. When was the last time you felt you were in an impossible situation where, despite what you did, you couldn’t win? when we thought we weren’t going to be able to get this house. What’s something weird that you do when you’re alone? i don’t know that i do anything weird, besides these. and i’m technically not alone when i do them... people are around. How did you find out about your current favorite band? i don’t know that i really have a favorite these days. Where are you most likely to go when you need clothing? walmart. close and inexpensive. Is anything significant weighing on your mood right now? not really, no. When was the last time you tried to do something yet failed? i don’t know. Does failure bother you much, or do you just try again? it bothers me. so very much. i want to do well in all things i do, so if i fail or feel as though i didn’t do good enough, it really messes with my head.. Do you think your life is comprised more of success or failure? more success than failure, i think. What does success mean to you personally? when you work hard to accomplish something, and do that thing satisfactorily i guess, if that makes sense. Does your definition differ from the general consensus? i don’t know. maybe. What’s one personality trait you clearly exemplify? shyness. What’s one personality trait that’s not strong in you? outgoing. Are you a difficult individual to get to know? i’m kind of more difficult to get to know now than i used to be i think. i’ve been used and let down so many times.. lied to.. it just doesn’t seem all that worth it i guess anymore? When was the last time you opened up to someone and about what? i don’t remember. it’s been awhile. probably jade and some of the issues i’ve been dealing with with jacob... To whom do you feel the most important? wyatt and eliana. What makes someone especially important to you? i don’t really know.. the people who are important to me are my kids, husband, rest of my family, and a couple friends. i feel like the reasons would be pretty obvious. When was the last time you changed your mind? today. i thought about walking to the store but then decided not to since wyatt was too tired. Is there something you want but might not ever have? a job that i really love.... when i’m ready/can go to work. i’m content to take care of my littles for the time being. What’s something you’re working to obtain? i don’t know.. How do you console yourself when you’re distraught? i don’t really. my coping skills are definitely lacking.

What last occurred to make you feel particularly bitter? i don’t know. i guess jacob just leaving and not even having to worry about wy..

How would you describe the most interesting cloud-shape you’ve witnessed? my favorite was one that was shaped as a dog running. Do you tend to enjoy your dreams? not so much. most are nightmares or just plain weird. What would you do if you did not require sleep? i don’t know. probably read more... maybe surveys. maybe watch movies or tv. probably definitely read. Are there any projects or goals you’ve recently abandoned? none come to mind. i haven’t really started any projects or anything. What in life serves to keep you going? my kids. How frequently, if ever, do you want to give up? pretty often. but i can’t. i have little ones that need me. What was the last good news you received? the last good news i got was that my grandma gets to come home today! she’s been in the hospital for a couple days for testing because they are afraid she had a stroke or TIA... i also found out i do not have gestational diabetes today, too, which was also very good news. What’re some of the important things around you? things... i guess that would be my phone. i’m still paying it off. and my computer. it has a lot of pictures. How long has your favorite song been your favorite? i don’t know what would be my favorite song right now. lol. During which time of day are you at your best? i guess the afternoon. i’m usually not overly tired at that point yet. Are you more inclined to appreciate sweet or savory foods? usually more savory, but there are some sweet things i crave and whatnot. When’s the next time you’ll cook a meal? i don’’t know. Do you prefer more hot or cold types of food? depends on my mood and what the food is. How about hot or cold types of beverages? usually cold.

What’s one disgusting habit you have or have had? i didn’t shower as much as i necessarily should have when i was younger just because i couldn’t get myself to care about anything. Do you tend to be harder on yourself than you need to be? oh definitely. About what are you exceptionally confident or self-assured? that i’m a good mom to my kids. and i make some awesome pancakes. lol. Who last told you to do something and did you do it? jacob told me to do his laundry, and it’s drying as we speak. What was the last situation or person you “got over?” i don’t know that i’ve gotten over anything or anyone lately... work in progress. Are you generally good at letting go of people who’re bad for you? not usually. Have you ever felt as though you were unrecognizable to yourself? pretty often, yes. What’re some things people could guess by looking at you? i’m tired. lol.

Are you bothered by any of your physical features? my weight. my overall face.

Are romantic relationships important to you at this point in your life? well, yes. not that it seems all that important to him.

Who was the last person to apologize to you for something they did? i don’t remember.

#survey #surveys #personal #question #questions #random

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witchyinthekitchen · 7 years ago

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This is a Vent Post about my Mother, Please do not reblog

This post is probably gunna be all over the place/time with things that I can remember/recall so bear with me here.

-Being told to make my own food bc mom was too busy with brand new baby (I was between 5-6 so poptarts were about all i could manage. I'd asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.) (my brother was a VERY finniky baby. If you weren't holding him he'd scream till his face went purple.))

-Tried to share interests in Anime/manga with her, when I asked her what she felt about it she said she couldn’t get into it and that it felt like a chore. (13-15 ish)

-Told her I needed therapy bc I was having suicidal thoughts. She took me, but then took me out once I started getting upset about the things i’d been talking about in therapy with my therapist because I'd come home in a bad mood.(15-16 ish)

-Went to Mother Daughter Group Therapy with her (there were other mother daughter combos) and she stormed out in the middle of it saying that we were only attacking her and not my dad too. (was 15-16 ish)

-Got into an argument about who i was voting for in the 2016 election while on vacation at Disney World (Hint it wasn't Trump like she wanted)(24 ish)

-Tried to gaslight me about trying to get everyone together to talk wedding stuff saying how she tried but that it all fell apart. (I have texts of her canceling it the day before we were all supposed to get together.)(26)

-Gets super defensive/upset any time I talk about “other mothers” in my life (MIL, BM)

-Has been super hot and cold with me during wedding planning and making passive aggressive comments about everything: Tell him to buy new pants for the engagement shoot 'bc I dont want him wearing baggy clothes -SO's Lost over 20lbs+ for the wedding and i'm so fuckin proud of him- “I don’t want to pay for hard alcohol for SO and his friends to drink at the wedding.” As if ½ the people invited weren’t all just her friends? ((All our friends live out of state/country so half the wedding is family and HER friends/neighbors.)) "I’m sure H*(SIL) and K*(MIL) have good counsel for you on _____," (Why would you say this when i'm asking for YOUR opinion? If i wanted their opinion i'd ask them.)

-4 months before the wedding she’s trying to talk me out of my venue saying we need to go look at the ones SO and MIL had suggested.

-Wants me to keep (BM)'s relation to me a secret even though i’m pretty sure 85% of the people who know me and are coming to my wedding know i'm adopted.

-Angry that I was moving out of the house at 21 with my SO she told his mother she hoped we’d fail. (In her defense she'd just been diagnosed with breast cancer and I'd done poorly in my last semester of college so parents thought it would be a good idea to take me out of college for a semester so i could live at home and basically be at my moms beck and call while also being expected to work 2 jobs (they'd told me the instant that the semester was over that i was expected to work 2 jobs) -That's at least how I was viewing that whole situation before I moved out- )

-As a kid I remember wanting to run away a lot. (Never away to a friends house but always to a park to live under a bridge like the goblin I am (lol)) (is it obvious I use self depreciating humor to get through things that I'm uncomfortable with? haha)

-I'd always hide things from her, even small things like a puzzle book i'd bought myself from the elementary school book fairs. i even began writing my diaries in code so she couldn't read them. Not that i ever caught her reading my diaries or what not but thats how afraid i was.

-The only things that stopped me from killing myself was the distressing thought that my mother would be more upset with blood on the floor than me being gone. (It was a constant worry of mine when I was having ideations.)

-When i was getting close to graduating high school the librarians told me they had a bunch of excess old books they were getting rid of and one of them happened to be the "Toxic Parents" book i've seen several other posts refer to. I took no other books besides that one. I hid that from her too. Looking back through it i remember there was a checklist in the book and i'd filled some of it out when i was younger. I most definitely am a people pleaser.

-We've never really been able to "talk" about things together like how my dad and i do and i think she's really jealous about it.

-The only way I feel comfortable talking to her is Via Email/Text because then that way i have a copy of all the things she's said. because i often forget things. (I honestly don't know how bad my memory is or if its gaslighting but i hope its just me being forgetful and not the latter...)

-I literally cannot let my SO do the dishes because my Mom would always do the dishes/clean when she was mad and bang pots around loudly and just even those sounds set me on edge.

-Her telling me that the careers i wanted to get into (IE: the Arts/Theater/Music) wouldn't make enough money and that they'd be fine as Hobbies but not as careers.

-She's continually trying to push me into a Customer Service Job because i'm so good at making other people happy. (talked to dad about this and he says i'm a very big people pleaser who doesn't like conflicts -cue nervous laughter about wedding planning-)

-Being around her for long periods of time is so physically/emotionally draining. I know that's probably a result of always being on edge with her and I always feel bad that I feel that way.

-Because she's said she hoped I'd fail (me and my So when I first moved out) I'm terrified of telling her anything personal going on in my life for fear that she'd take it out on me or use it against me (i got super anxious/scared when she came up to see me on my end of town once because we'd be stopping at the mall where i used to work and i hadn't yet told her that I'd quit that job.)

-I want to have a relationship with her. I want us to do fun Mom& Daughter things but at the same time I'm scared of letting her get too close to me again just to have it fall apart again.

-When I moved out (21) i went VLC with my whole family before i even knew what VLC was. I barely saw them (except for certain holidays/events.) I didn't talk to my dad for about 3 years because of this and am just now recovering that relationship with him (been 5 years now since I moved out)

-After I get married my plan is to move to CO. During that time i don't remember if my mom has mentioned if she'd miss me, but i do recall she has made multiple points to tell me that my dad says he would miss me.

-I had to beg for a 16th Birthday Party. She finally caved half a year later after I'd talked to my Therapist about it.

-pretty sure i'm the SG of the family (possibly Cousin 1 being the GC because she went to same University my mom did)

-Other family members on her side have stepped in to provide financial help to me on the promise that i wouldn't tell anyone. (probably to stop any gossip of favoritism)

I Don't know if she's an N or just really bad at expressing herself but her hot and cold attitude really sets off my anxiety that i've done something to piss her off and that she won't talk to me about it for a few weeks and then acts as though nothing is wrong/nothing happened. Planning my wedding is the MOST contact we've had in 5 years since i moved out and went VLC and i've been trying to use this as a way to bond with her better but anytime i think i'm getting somewhere Something happens and she's upset again. A phrase i've found myself come into saying recently is "I can't fix something that I don't know is wrong." So i've tried to take that approach when it comes to her. I know she's an adult and can choose for herself if she wants to talk about whats on her mind. I can't force her to talk if she doesn't want to but the anxiety it causes when she gets into these moods is really debilitating. I'm terrible at letting things go (especially if i think its my fault)

I'm Not Her Therapist, but if she has an issue with me I wish she'd just tell me instead of the Silent treatment for a week.

Trigger Topics that I've learned to Avoid at All Costs:

Anything about "Other Mothers" in my life.

Politics & Racism

Anything in the Past that happened.

My moving out

Anything that paints her as a "Bad Mother"(aka this whole post probably)

This post is a mess and I'm rambling. Thanks for sticking through this Brain Dump while I process.

-Edit 2:

More things i'm recalling: For Christmas one year in front of my whole family (I was between 8-10 ish) she got me a set of underwear with the days of the week labeled on them and told me in front of everyone that "Maybe this would help me remember [to change my underwear daily]..."

One of my final years in high school I somehow managed to get a Cold Sore. My First Cold Sore ever and my lip where it broke out swelled up HUGE. I woke up the day it appeared ( a weekend thank the gods) and horrified went downstairs to tell my mom about it. I don't recall any words of sympathy other than "Cold Sores are caused by Herpes." I just remember breaking down into tears.

I mapped out a "Quiet Walking Path" that avoided all the creaky floorboards and steps in our house.

I get extremely anxious whenever I would hear my parents footsteps coming up the stairs. It got to the point that I could distinguish their steps on Carpet.

I jump/flinch (visibly) at loud noises, even if I know they are coming (movies songs ect.)

Routinely friended/unfriended me on Facebook before deleting it entirely (due to 2018 spying/hacking allegations)

I don't know if she means for these things to be hurtful but as someone who doesn't enjoy confrontation and is extremely sensitive to others feelings it just hurts y'know?

-edit 3: Attempted to talk to mom about her saying she hoped we'd fail via email. went about as well as expected. =Well, that clears a lot of things up. We only wanted you to be independent and happy, and it appears you are. End of story!

And for what it’s worth, I’ve said a LOT of things over the past 6 years that you didn’t hear about. And I’m not really sure where you heard “I hope they fail.” But I’m sure your source is 100%, and certainly not something you’d want to clarify with me.

I hope you got your apartment all squared away in Colorado. You should be under the 60-day notice by now! Woo hoo!

Let me know when you all are coming to get your stuff out of the house.

I’ll have it packed and ready for you.

-Mom

Am i reading into this too much? because it sounds like she's being hella passive aggressive about this.

-Edit 4: 7-19-18 Been venting about wedding planning being stressful on fb away from my mom since she doesn't have one anymore. I didn't realize she had fms reporting to her about my posts as she just randomly mentions via text that she wants to help me have fun while planning and that she wishes she could make it a happy time for me.

Edit 5: 9-26-18 Wedding is over finally. had our honeymoon and got moved out of our apartment back into my MIL's house. During the move we had to put all of our stuff into storage which includes Wedding gifts and thankyou notes. So Mom has been hounding me about getting them done and i've informed her several times that all of that is in storage and i havent been able to yet. She said not an excuse go buy more thankyou notes and write them all. I asked if Emailing a thank you would work, she says no must be hand written and mailed out (also who's paying for 100+ stamps: Me) Well Tonight she informs me that she's doing all the ones from her/my side and that she doesn't care if we do them for DH's side since SIL didn't send any thank you notes either. Cue big long talk with DH about all of this and he says not to worry about her being passive aggressive like this. Go and check my Email to find she sent an Email to me only with writing saying

"Dear all,

Thank you so much for attending --- wedding. Your presence was so important to me, and I know to the kids as well. Thank you also for the lovely wedding gifts you sent or brought. I know they are appreciated and will be enjoyed by the newlyweds. It was very kind and generous of you!

Unfortunately, --- is unable to send thank you notes, but I did want you to know that your gifts, and your presence at the celebration, were very important to all of us, and very much appreciated.

Fondly,

MOM"

currently I'm choosing not to respond and I wonder how our relationship is going to be going forward from all of this... I was so happy that the wedding was over so i wouldn't have to deal with this petty drama bullshit anymore but I guess thats just too much to ask for.

-She's also unfriended me on facebook again. I'm tempted to just block her to stop this wishy washy stuff from happening again.

#Personal #DO NOT REBLOG #I will block you if you reblog this #Vent for myself #i don't know what to do anymore #Mom #Mom Vent #i hope i dont have to update this anymore #but we'll see #venting post #PERSONAL VENT #PARENTS #Emotional Abuse #Mental Abuse

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sightful-tangents · 5 years ago

Text

january 1, 2020

Hi friends. It’s been a while, hasn’t it. I usually try and write something once a month or so but obviously I dropped the ball last year.

Can you believe it’s 2020? I think each year I start taking my resolutions more and more seriously. It’s one of those long-term commitments that I’ve found deeply rewarding just because of the passage of time. Simply with setting goals and the year passing by (for like, 5 years now) makes me excited with each coming year to think about what I want to accomplish, and how I want to shape my life.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. My 2020 themes note has been living in my phone for months now, but we’re here for the 2019 retrospective (original post here). It’s been quite a year. Here we go, on how I did.

THE BIG ONE

1. Put down roots. This resolution was three-pronged: a sturdy mental foundation, a sense of belonging in a place, and a feeling of belonging with people. I think I mostly accomplished that - my mental health (minus a very very stressful 1.5 months at work) has been mostly good, bolstered by well-timed vacations that cleared my head SO well (ugh, I *need* these breaks , that’s what I learned). I’ve been living in my basement for a bit over a year now and my space is coming together. I’m starting to really like being at home and in my space and feeling comfortable and content there. And lastly, a feeling of belonging with people… I do think I depend my relationships this year. I let a few go (or more like, I no longer hold those as dearly) but I formed a few new ones and overall, especially with the holidays being a time when I always reflect and feel extremely grateful, thinking of those that I cared about and wanted to give gifts/cards to… I’m just very grateful for those people around me and how they make me feel. I read a Bill Gates/Warren Buffet interview once, where Warren Buffet said his measure of success was whether the people you care about you love you back. This year, I felt this. So I’m going to count this one as done.

WORK

2. Don’t get fired.

I didn’t!!

3. No major fuck-ups (that may lead to being fired and/or my supervisor seriously regretting his decision to hire me).

I think I’ve made mistakes but this year, no major fuck-ups I don’t think.

4. Get a professional certification.

I did! I got a professional cert in the field of privacy.

5. Learn to be a better supervisor.

I think I did this. I think I’m better, specifically, I’ve been very intentional with being open with the person I work with/supervise, not micro-managing, and trying to support her to do projects she’s interested in. I’m sure there’s still a ways to go, but I think I improved.

6. Be okay with being uncomfortable at work.

I’m never going to feel completely comfortable, I don’t think. But I’ve been better and taking on projects that I’m not sure how to handle, and trying my best. Also, I’ve never been more fucking uncomfortable organizing a work event in my life (this was the 1.5 months of hell) but it’s done and nobody died.

TANGIBLE-(ish) 7. Be smart with money.

I did a budget this year, breaking down my categories of spending. Pros: I kept within my vacation budget, kept mostly to my savings goal, didn’t spend too much on groceries, spent a reasonable amount on restaurants/bars and entertainment. Cons: I think I spent a bit too much on clothes. I saved a decent amount as well (an inheritance and a tax refund helped as well, but thankfully I didn’t spend those frivolously).

8. Read 35 books.

Nope, I only read 14. I’m gonna only aim for 30 next year. Sigh. It makes me sad that I don’t read as much anymore, but I also have a physical bookcase now (YAY!) which gives me more excuses to buy physical books (YAY?)

9. Cook at least 2 times a week.

By “cook”… what did I mean? I didn’t eat out for dinner often, but often my dinner would be a quickly assembled meal (I eat oatmeal for dinner more often than I would care to admit). I’ll say this is half done. I definitely TRIED to cook more (as in with the pay and all that) but definitely not consistently at twice a week.

10. Get an IUD.

I did this! I don’t know if my body likes it (ugh the side effects are a-nnoying!). But it’s done.

11. Volunteer.

I volunteered for 2 events in 2018, and last year (2019) I did 3. I enjoyed them all a lot!

12. Continue playing piano for fun.

Again, I’m so glad I bought that piano (keyboard). It’s been truly joyful to re-introduce music into my life.

13. Learn and keep a new hobby.

YES I DID THIS. My friends know that I constantly talk about wanting to pick up a new hobby (I actually also took 8 weeks of pottery classes earlier this year… which was totally not my jam). But I asked for a guitar from my mum for Christmas and she gave it to me early in November and learning to play it has been infinitely rewarding. I suck really bad but I suck a tiny bit less each time.

SPACE

14. Travel.

My travel goals were: Taiwan, the Rockies (Banff and Jasper), and either South America, Turkey, or Eastern Europe. Also, maybe Toronto over the holidays. And I was very very very tentatively thinking about going to New Zealand in 2020, so let’s cross our fingers.

In reality, I made it to: Taiwan, Rockies, Japan, and Toronto. Japan was a surprise trip of sorts since it wasn’t on my radar, but I went with my Japanese housemate and had an AMAZING time. I felt so so happy and calm there, it was incredible.

15. Settle into my living space.

I’m now stressed out that I own too much shit. I mean, I have two dressers, 2 bedside tables, a kitchen table, 2+ chairs, a couch, a TV, a piano, a guitar, a bookcase + books, a few organization things, and all this kitchen shit. The next move is gonna SUUUUCK. But… my living space feels like mine. I have a second room with my instruments and TV and wall decorations I love and honestly it makes me happy to just chill there around all of “my shit” and think to myself “this is me”. It’s taken like a year to slowly get my stuff (like, I bought a Dyson vacuum on Boxing Day…) but things do feel like they’ve come together in to a safe space.

16. Settle into my city.

This summer was sooo good, weather wise. I stayed in the city, went on lots of dates, and just hung out in the sunshine. It made me love living where I am, although the rainy months are gross. I’ve also grown to know the restaurants, bars, and grocery stores near me and downtown, all of which make me feel a bit more rooted. Yay for yearly themes, eh.

RELATIONSHIPS

17. Make 2 new friends.

I don’t know if they’re new friends since I met them before 2019, but I have formed stronger friendships with an old coworker, as well as re-building a friendship that I had kinda cut off early in the year. Both I’m going to count.

18. Date people!

I did this! I made a little mental note to myself that I’d accept any date someone asked if in person, in addition to a challenge with my friend to go on 3 online dates (w/ different people). This means I’ve went on “dates” (could be as casual as coffee) with someone who asked me out on the street, on a bus, through Instagram DMs, and through tinder. It’s been mostly good, I think.

19. See my mom at least once or twice a month.

I did this! Having a closer relationship with my mom is another one of those things that have built over the course of years, and that I look back and am thankful that past-me (when I was in Toronto) decided to call her once a week when I was pretty MIA in university. Now we’re a lot closer and she has helped me so much (like, she’s pretty much helped me completely furnish my place).

20. Be a better friend (support & generosity).

I think so. I cut my friend circle a little bit (especially high school friends that I realized I didn’t need to hold so closely. It’s funny because when I went away for university, I loved my HS friends so much and would eagerly see them every time I visited. Now that I’m back, I just feel like my HS friends know the old me, and that the current me has changed so much. Or just to say that I think while I’ll always be friendly and love them, I just don’t feel a pressure to be as active in those friendships as I did before. I dedicate myself to other ties.) I’ve deepened my friendships (that I care about) and I know I’m still learning how to be a better friend (always) but I’ve really put in the effort this year.

SELF

21. INTENTIONALITY.

This is a bit of a hit or miss. I mean, I regularly watch 40 minute Bon Appetit youtube videos (I would die for Claire) and read fewer books than I have in like 8 years. But I think I was kinda intentional with my time (making time to see friends, spending my vacation time traveling). I’ll give myself a half point for this.

22. Keep my mental health in check (and prioritize it).

I had 1.5 months of mental health hell, for real. I felt like I didn’t have any time to live my life, including buying groceries or eating dinner. It probably wasn’t that bad but my brain made it feel that way. However, that means I had 10.5 months of pretty decent mental health. If a work issue was the worst thing that happened to me this year, it must not have been that bad.

23. Figure out my finances.

Not really. I saved well, budgeted, but didn’t to the type of actual learning I was aiming for.

24. Fucking exercise.

No :(

25. Maintain my weight.

Yeah, I think so.

26. Be better than I currently am.

I…think so.

27. Take risks. Of all sorts. Because, why not. I had a really big(ish) decision this year and I was initially going to make a decision out of fear of risks. But part of my final thought process was that I think I’d be disappointed in myself that if when it all came down to the line, I decided not to make a potentially risky decision that was sitting in front of me. So even though the future is murky and unknown, I did take it. I also learned there are A LOT OF REASONS WHY NOT. I don’t like to describe anything I do as brave but a little part of me thought that by not doing the safe thing, I did the brave thing.

----

And.. that’s it. Final score (including the half points): 21.5 out of 27… I’m very pleased :) Who knew this year would turn out like this?

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