#why do i deal w that.
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beginning to realize feeling bad for wanting things isn't very normal but i'll worry abt that later
#after hanging out w a bunch of our friends who are all gay and have had hoe eras in the past i told my bestie one on one#like im so surprised no one else seems to have gay guilt?? dont yall feel bad for wanting?? desiring??#and they were like woah i really don't. that sounds like a therapy problem!#they didnt say it in a dismissive way btw they were very nice abt it. but hoooooly shittttt#why do i deal w that.#like i know jts not a good thing but i had assumed other gay ppl felt like thst too on some inner hidden level. whoah i guess not!!!#good for yall but how do i fix this. guess ill spend the rest of my life on my knees trying to repent for existing instead!!!!
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i have so much band!au content in the pipeline my brain is Rotting but enjoy these two for now
jjk band!au
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuuji#ryoumen sukuna#sukuna#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk band!au#every time i dress sukuna i stray further from gods light. what is that. what did i do why did i do that.#the pants...the mullet mohawk..the tanktop that might as well be Off...am i cooking or committing a cardinal sin who can say#i realized that i probably couldnt give him rings bc the priss wouldnt want to scuff his guitar#which goes directly against my religion that says that any modern au sukuna has to b iced up#that being said the bracelets r probably pushing it but he needed /something/ so he can deal.#but oh my god the guitars like dont get me wrong im thrilled w how they turned out but god i wished for death#looks around accusingly whose idea was this >:c (me it was mine)#anyway i am feeding myself on this au this will not be the last u see of it :)#HARD pivot from emo yoi content oops
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idk if im finishing this falin but i like the dragon part enough.hrmm
#its the fuckng chicken part that always gets me.the down...oohmy god#and the junction btwn her waist and its chest like idont know why but its so hard#also i didnt have an idea in mind w this one and im hating the grey bg.RAAH#falin#dunmeshi#lg doodles#also hate tht the anatomy here is so inconsistent#but im also trying to get into the mindset of like..ok so its not right or whatever .big deal id rather draw smth anyways#but its liike.IDKONT KNWOWWW anyways sorry im just complaining but i do like the color blocking#enough
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C’mon Raph, don’t noogie the elderly
(Or: finally, communication)
#extended stay au#art#fanart#digital art#tmnt#tmnt 2003#donatello#raphael#sainw au#sainw#gijinka#TIME TO RAMBLE:#so of course I had to continue dons allergy to sitting like a normal person#even though it made this WAY harder than it needed to be#and I will never have one of those super consistent art styles so each panel is a lil bit off lmao#they’re watching football together like in canon :]#ALSO THE SHOW MAKES THE COLORS IN THE LAIR WORK BUT CHRIST THE COUCH AND WALL COMBO IS GRATING TO LOOK AT#WHY IS IT DARK TEAL#NOW ONTO PLANS and a lil treat for y’all who read these#the next comic is already underway and it’s going to be a multi parter#AND I’m drawing them AS turtles in it so canon designs#AND there’s conflict#mikey fans rejoice#I have part 1 sketched out but I wanna do some. actual writing. to make sure the timeline fits and to deal w multiple things at once#ITS A BIG UNDERTAKING FOR ME#also calling don old is so funny to me cause I’m 25 that’s basically me
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LEAVE LOGHAIN OUT OF UR BULLSHIT
#oh my god I cannot deal w this#I already knew ab the stupid ass executors but this answer made me mad as fuck#as if loghain mac tir!!!! would be ‘subtly influenced’ and not do things of his own accord#why are they stripping away his agency and what makes him so likeable as an antagonist?#dragon age#veilguard critical#bioware critical#datv critical#loghain mac tir
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Obsessed w how often Freed fills "stressed adoring wife" stereotype when it comes to Laxus 😭
#jasper rambles#fairy tail#fraxus#? is that their tag#anyway#freed was like 'you were sick what about me!!! ive been worried sick! why would you do that! without waking me!' abt laxus fighting the guy#that nearly killed them all while not actually recovered like at all. like i understand your concern freed but cmon laxus is literally in a#hospital bed recovering from something that wouldve killed basically anyone else. you have right to be stressed but also id argue laxus is#dealing w the consequences of his actions already#ahsjdjdjdjjdkdnd
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blood dripped from Poseidon's mouth, red.
red.
the day they overthrew Kronos, child-eater (stomach acid crawling around them, after maw of teeth grazing his small, child body), his golden ichor bled red.
god blood, degraded into a mortal's.
the day Typhon, father of monsters (as big as their father was, as big as the Titans with sharp claws and teeth) ripped out Zeus' tendons, his blood was red.
Poseidon, god of the tides, son of Kronos, looked up at the dark shape stood above him, his own golden trident in his hand, the teeth like prongs drenched in red.
Odysseus is a mortal. was a human.
sharp webbed ears spread out on the side of their head, scales grew around their neck and arms, shining like a coral reef, illuminated by their growing red eyes, that were shrunken to slits.
Odysseus' teeth glinted in the lightning, showing their unnaturally sharp point.
monster.
#small snippet that i can't develop any further.#this is uh#Ithacan Naga AU#didn't mean to talk about Poseidon's probable trauma with Kronos but here we are. do you think particularly salty or poisoned water reminds#poseidon of stomach acid? do you think the original five olympians are closer knit with each other#from being eaten alive as a child and then growing up in a stomach?#do you think hestia is the goddess of family cause she was the oldest sister and had to care for the others the most? that hades find an un#ealthy comfort in the darkness of the underworld? How do you think stomach acid was for Poseidon; as god of the sea? if that was the closes#he could get to his domain in a /stomach/? The same with demeter? only chewed up food as the closest to agriculture?#do you think hera understood - somehow - that this hurt their mother?#sigh#and all and all Zeus was really only able to lead them so easily afterwards is cause they didn't /know/ what to do after they were freed?#/AND/ Zeus really isn't privy to any of it; cause of course he isn't (nor does he care to know).#didn't mean to rant with that but. yup. anyway#tbh i want to draw a part of this to show the webbed ears w/ head-wings so. yeah. maybe. i'm still getting used to my new drawing tablet an#my sketchbook fell in water a while ago and i've been frozen on how to deal with it. so. yeah.#anyway#600 strike#vengence saga#epic the musical#the vengeance saga#epic the vengeance saga#why do we have so many tags for the same thing ;.)#six hundred strike#odysseus epic#epic odysseus#odysseus#writing#poseidon epic#epic poseidon
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I've was tagged by @ducksoup1933 (thanks bestie ☺️) to create a poll of my top 5 blorbos and see which is the most popular and tag five more people.
Tagging @mrsmiroir @cakebatteronabrickwall @six-of-cringe @dykekarras @queenoftheskittleholics
#very aware that i'm setting some of my beloveds up to fail here (which is also why i didn't include any blorbos from niche media even if#I do love them very much) but i just love to suffer ig#i feel like im missing someone really obvious that i'll be kicking myself about 5 min after posting this but ill just have to deal w that
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#house md#gregory house#robert chase#screencap#s08e12 “chase���#longpost#long post#other characters so consistently misread house :c#he's such a puddle#he had the same response to getting shot too#lowkey insanely healthy way to look at it#here he spells it out#guy who provokes as a convo starter would know (literally any new encounter like w park in s8)#...i mean how the fuck do you get to the point that you get to fast-forward to the “correct solution” after something like that?#overthinking into processing while getting beaten over the head with every type of assault for a while will get you there i guess#(to the point that its preferable and thats why he provokes - he knows ins and outs of dealing with it)
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Me, naively: Omg haha what if I wrote a fic abt the party at the fortress of solitude in superman/batman 26 as an excuse to do some Tim & Kon character study?
Me, after reading 4 separate comic runs from 4 different editorial teams who were OBVIOUSLY not talking to each other AT ALL to try and figure out the timeline & other logistics of this party: WHO THE FUCK FUCKED UP THIS HOUSE LIKE THIS GOOD GOD??????????
#long rant in the tags my fault guys#but#superman/batman LOVED to do this thing where they mentioned some major plot point from last issue#but that issue is connected to some grander larger story that has nothing to do w Tim or Kon directly#but bc it’s something they might talk abt now I have to read that whole arc#n I know what ur thinking omg Dionne why didn’t u check the wiki?#ITS LITERALLY NOT THERE#LEX WAS LITERALLY PRESUMED DEAD AFTER S/B ISSUE 6 AND THE WIKI MAKES NO MENTION OF IT ALL#this isn’t even COUNTING trying to figure out where the fuck they would have time for this in between dealing w deathstroke n saving raven#and skimming over that era of Robin to see what Tim has got going on#willingham era robin is better than Dixon at acknowledging Tim’s team presence but it’s still pretty annoying at points#and popping into the outsiders for a couple issues cuz the titans bother them every like … 8 issues#it would be funny if they weren’t nearly losing their lives n causing major property damage every single time#AND I had to do a quick green arrow drive by cuz I couldn’t tell if it would be accurate or not to have Mia there#and DONT GET ME STARTEDDDDDDDD ON THE FORTRESS#SOMETHING THE WIKI IS ALSO NOT HELPFUL WITH#sometimes i wonder why they thought it was smart to reboot post crisis#and then I open up the dc fandom wiki as greeted with the knowledge that Superfamily have not one or 2 but FOUR DIFFERENT FORTRESSES#they be destroying that shit every Tuesday??????#must also make mention cuz I know how yall get on here#I am not complaining bc I hate canon#in fact I am doing this out of love#research is my favorite part of the fic process after brainstorming#it’s just A LOT sometimes#and I VERY strongly believe that you can only play with canon when you actually know it#kon el#tim drake#timkon#deep diving into some comics? :) deep diving into some bitches? :(#in the most literal sense there is
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not to mention the entire antaam fleet like 😭 that was the PERFECT moment to show off what the lords could do!!! The antaam fucked over rivain, theyve been a thorn in the whole nations side for a long time now, they would not pass up a chance for payback via full scale naval warfare so that the veilguard can do what they need to!! Sure dreadnoughts are dangerous but at this point they probably have tricks up their sleeve, thats one of the few things they have!
also wouldn't it be personal because does solas not try to blow up kont-aar because he's trying to 5d chess tevinter and the qunari into destroying each other. like. i know technically this would not be incredible widespread news because the attack was stopped, but i don't think the wonderful citizens of kont-aar would have missed the tsunami that nearly hit them and the shockwave that actually hit them. rumors go around. and i assume irian/vadis tell varric. who i think would tell isabela. who would tell the group she leads. who would care because ofc, they LIVE IN RIVAIN, and now know that solas and his followers thinks they can trade rivaini lives* to further his plans.
*while i also think there's probably a divide between kont-aar and the rest of the nation, it's one that the rivaini love to jump across and back over. an interesting comparison to be made here with most of rivain having similar sentiments towards dairsmuid and the chantry. like this is the country specifically mentioned to have a lot of citizens who follow the qun/are non-andrastian + it being MUCH more multicultural and accepting than other nations. any attack on rivain, even if it's a qunari settlement, would fan a lot of flames that solas cannot put out so the idea of trying to him taking multiple steps back because he didn't realise how intensely the qun/rivaini/lords would react is very fun for me. it would have been soo interesting for rivain to be a hub for efforts against solas because of how it's not influenced by andrastianism, how he (or his agents) specifically fucked them over, and (maddeningly for solas) also part of this resistance has spirits who willingly guide them against him. this could have even been a plot device where the door goes both ways and solas finds out rook's plans because he manages to eavesdrop through a seer or something.
and on the spirits. all the stuff where the mourn watch regularly communicates with spirits could have been done with rivain as well, and with different takes on being 'friendly' with spirits. iirc there's a spirit in the hall of valor which is so interesting but it's literally just there for flavour text. THERE'S A SPIRIT IN THE HALL OF VALOR THAT DOES NOTHING BESIDES LIKE. SAY HI. ??? bioware i would have liked to see more spirits and seers and the matriarchal pantheists you have talked about please. and also the idea of the peaceful qunari settlement being pushed to protect the country they are part of and what that means for them as qunari vs. rivaini. taash's storyline could have contributed to this . so A LOT less about choosing a side, more about how kont-aar has developed, changed, how rivain has influenced it and what it means to be qunari. not the qunari agents and fighters that we have seen, but their 'civillian' way of life in kont-aar.
complete waste not seeing any of established lore reflected in the lords of fortune or rivain because i stupidly actually thought we were going to see some kind of settlement and be introduced to a very different cultural norms.. in my beautiful mind i like to think taash is a little taken aback by how badly mages/elves/etc are treated. like they understood it was different outside of rivain (they would have been young when the dairsmuid circle annulment happened right? so they don't 'remember' it themself, they likely heard others talking about it when they're old enough to understand) but until they actually saw what was happening first hand, they had a weird dissonance about it. but what we got was a deserted beach, ties to another faction (wardens are fine!! they are great !!!! the fourth blight is interesting!!!! yet they are not the faction with a lack of info about them!!!!!) and also the hall of valor that exists as flavor text with nothing meaningful behind it besides a pub used in a few cutscenes and a minigame.
#it's just hard to discuss the qunari in general when it is so obviously written to be quote unquote bad#and theyre like. in veilguard. really just reduced to being an invading force. which they were before. but there's literally nothing else#not a single character that explains more about the qun or how it operates + the game presenting choices about taash#that obviously lean towards favoring rivain. god knows why. its not like we know enough about it to choose it#even a quick peek into a rivaini lifestyle would have been helpful. all we know are from lorebooks !!!!#its actually like. 'qun would have made taash into a weapon/they are actively invading treviso/theyre working w ghil+el/shathaan' etc#and then on rivain's side the points are just 'umm. well the lords are super nice. and love freedom... and its also NOT qunari!'#there ARE reasons to pick rivain just none of them are in the fuck ass game. no one who doesnt read the books would know this shit#does anyone know why the antaam are acting outside of their orders. i dont rmb if this was explained or if its supposed to be like#a very severe response to solas and defying orders to 'deal' with a threat?#but god. kont-aar as it exists is so interesting. maybe elements of like .#'the main qun ignore the changes in kont-aar/rivain because it's such an important part of their trade' situation. idk#i just cant see a lot of the extremely rigid qun followings actually meshing with this extremely 'accepting' culture that is in rivain#eg. rivaini seers allowing possessions vs. sareebas#but its said that the rivaini pantheists actually have lots in common with the teachings of the qun (?)#and again. its peaceful. most of the issues that are mentioned in games/etc are to do with the ORLESIAN chantry causing issues in rivain#so it just. makes me think. maybe things have changed and there's a blind eye to whatever happens in kont-aar#or if there are more hostilities or issues caused by their differing beliefs then it would be good to fucking like. hear about it#plus the qun in general is just. worldbuilding standpoint is like. what. im not a guy who knows too much about this part of da lore so#i had to fact check a few things while writing this response and some of the answers were like#just so unbelievable that im choosing to do whatever i want#anyways. sorry. got out of hand. let me know if anything i said isnt true#its entirely possible. my knowledge of rivain is patchwork but this is probably to do with the fact there's not a lot. yeah#god. i have to stop talking now. thank u anon for agreeing w me. sorry u asked me about the lords and i took it as an excuse#to air out my issues w rivain. because tyche was partially built up around that and then none of it even mattered#veilguard spoilers#answered#rivain
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do you guys think the writers would have taken it more seriously if it had been alastair around relentlessly tormenting dean in late seasons as opposed to lucifer with sam
#i'm just thinking#like obviously late seasons writers tend to be inconsistent with handling trauma in any case but#like when dean first came back from hell we actually spent a lot of time with it#and with sam yeah we had his hallucinations but late seasons when lucifer is a problem again we only really get like#sam talking abt his trauma with rowena once#and this isn't meant to be dean critical like it's not his fault the writers gloss over how they've put sam into a horror show all alone#i just know dean gets more attention than sam does late seasons and i'm wondering if ppl would've been more willing to deal w it#but also the thought of alastair being around late seasons haunting dean in the way lucifer does sam is kind of awesome#alastair possessing someone in the bunker hmmmmmmmmm#PLEASE add onto this with any thoughts on alastair being around late seasons omg#alastair reviving dean like how lucifer revived sam in beat the devil?#idk alastair was always so much cooler to me than lucifer was maybe thats why my brain is obsessed with this now#i guess maybe like. you could do this same thing with michael. but alastair just seems more interesting to think abt#and amara was around too i guess#but. idk let me have this#anyway#spn#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#alastair spn#lucifer spn
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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anyways . silly thing
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#animatic#i want it done.get out of here u stupid dog#ITS CHEESY.IM SORRY ! IMSORRY <embarrassed .truly#but i think. a gf revival would not be complete w/o me trying my hand at a shitty animatic. this 1 is for me dwg#as annoying as the whole process was it was kind of fun ngl. . like ive never been good at keeping a consistent style or chara model#and this was rly good practice for that .. i think looking at it now its like. no its crazxy its insane bc i dont ever want to do it again#at least in the immediate future but watching it back im like ok well.icouldve at least done that better. or tried to loosen up my vp and#made it feel less flat . <thats the devil talking & trying to get u back in on it.thats what i mean liike its fun but its evil and tiring#also im so creatively burnt out ik i couldve done so many fun ciphord gore things but i ug a 'shrug' pff 'shrug' i ?. yk#if only i didnt have the disposition to want to finish everything in one sitting. i think thats why i like static illustration#more bc u get more like. topical variety in a shorter amt of time u feel. anyways i remember hearing this song 4 the first time and in#my need to apply everything ever to my hyperfix i was like omg crop circles soo stanford lol. omg a deal he made when he was young.. & no#it doesnt feel so great does it .. (ciphordd)..then the eyes & fate i was alr convinced but when it got 2 the stanley part ab the taking hi#fathers brothers name i was like ok well fuck filbrick 1 . but rewritten for canon events anyways HELLO???????? AND U WILL DIE THE SAMEE?#much cooler version is still stuck in my head but i hope that u can get the same rudimentary vision i have
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ferrari posting about maxplaining and leclerifying on main? we are one standard deviation away from lestappen sticker war involvement
#I’m going to keep being delulu about this one specific pr angle#it’s tangible. It’s possible. it’s not as crazy as some other needs/wants#admins don’t fail me you’re doing so well#(when youre not ignoring Charles)#(or going suspiciously radio silent)#(seriously why was Santander out Charles-stanning the Ferrari account…..)#lestappen#f1#charles leclerc#max verstappen#listen I know there are anti lestappen who take issue w tagging them#but — and I cannot emphasize this enough — I mean it as besties#and memes#so deal w it unfortunately :/#*delphi#rbr-ferrari sticker war
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so i should probably state I'm taking a little hiatus from commissions until my wisdom tooth extraction sites are well enough healed, so that I don't have to worry abt them all day ! i did do one since the surgery and I'm happy with it and i think the commissioner is too, but i felt i was taking too long and wasn't focused enough on it <:] i just wanted to say this bc I have a couple people waiting already and i dont want to like. idk I feel like im letting people down if I were to Wait for someone to contact me for a commission and Then saying 'hey I can't rn bc my mouth is healing and it's kinda distracting' if that makes sense. but hopefully in another week I'll be all good 👍
#ok maybe now i will finally shut the fuck up about my teeth HDHDJDJ#idk i think part of why ive been talking abt it so much is bc all the stuff ive been reading on it is very clinical? unpersonable#like ig idk how to deal with it As A Person. but as a Thing that must do things i undersand. i takea thr medacine. i eata the soft foods#i didnt realize until recently from someones firsthand accound that i could be gargling salt water or drinking black tea to deal w inflamma#inflammation and blood clotting. yknow#i migt makethis my pinned post? i don tknow yet#ANYWAY i hesitated tomake a post like yhis to begin w bc i dont usually get commissions Often enough to think i would need to take a break#words from the monarch
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