#why do I have to overthink so hard?? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rattkween86 · 1 year ago

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:/

#why do I have to overthink so hard??#I feel like such an idiot all the time #and then I overexplain to try to “fix” things that probably aren't wrong in the first place??#and that just makes everything worse lmao #my brain is being so mean #why can't I just be a normal person with normal feelings and a normal head??#I am so embarrassed :(#the urge to abandon all of my socials and fade unto the ether is so strong rn #rsd is my mortal enemy I think

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im-the-j-in-anthony-j-crowley · 10 months ago

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Good omens tag game

Name two things you have in common with Aziraphale and two things you have in common with Crowley

More reasons to love them!

Crowley

1.- Taste for black clothes and... I WANT TO BELIEVE that I look good too

2.- I love Aziraphale Dramatic

Aziraphale

1.- I love books

2.- Stubborn. Really stubborn

No pressure tags: @fearandhatred @bildads-shoes @harbinger-of-existential-dread @di-42 @sayeverythingwillbefineplease @littlekhaos626

And of course, open tags!

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daily-hanamura · 11 months ago

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#p4 #p4g #persona 4 #persona 4 golden #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #weak when i think about early yosuke constantly living under the surveillance of the townpeople #in a way it kind of explains his reluctance in trying to connect with them (like in the magician manga) which is itself very complex #but for someone who's always on the lookout #for someone whos constantly checking his own behaviour and making sure hes not doing anything that could be perceived as negative #even if he did want to become better friends with kou and daisuke its hard to extend any trust to them #yosuke didnt understand why they were trying to be friendly with him -- to some extent i think its because he just didnt trust them #that they weren't trying to get him to relax so he would do something wrong and then inaba will have one more reason to dislike him #its an overthinking thing!!!#but with yu? he can relax a little because he doesn't expect yu to betray him in that manner.#at the end of the day #after the liquor store and the shadow yosuke incident #yosuke KNOWS that yu is someone that has his back #amd maybe that knowledge is still a little tentative because hes still unwilling to be fully honest with yu during their early friendship #but deep down he has the evidence that yu is on his side. he wants to believe that yu will continue to be on his side. :')#and this first friendship is what enables him to actually form more meaningful bonds with other people #i mean. after saki and the blowback from him trying to connect with saki.#is it any wonder that he's a bit reticent #but ah look. hes still doing that thing where he puts on an air of nonchalance and confidence and plays it off with a joke #even as it bothers him. :')#he's good with his queue

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itsalwaysdark · 4 months ago

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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And #make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not #saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was #going to say #like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so #bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the #winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000 #other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but #i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its #been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody #responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple #muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it #but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like #im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good #solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start #all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the #punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4 #im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but #even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think #avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is #like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they #hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be #the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO #difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15 #minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case #it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel #stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and #tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i #tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction #like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint

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shalom-iamcominghome · 4 months ago

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Me thinking about accidentally touching someone who keeps shomer negiyah (it's my biggest irrational fear)

#jumblr #jew by choice #jewish conversion #personal thoughts tag #my shul is very lax about it but we kind of informally separate genders and whatnot #i dont touch people in general though which is why this fear is unfounded #but what if i accidentally do. i'm overthinking this i know but accidentally offending a person (especially as a man) is So Hard 😭#honestly though the only reason i sit with the women on 'their' side right now is because the fans on my skin irritates the hell out of me #i'm too autistic in terms of tactile things. but also the sanctuary is too hot so we have services in the basement where there's No Room #i have complex feelings about this navigating spaces As A Man™ that i could rant about. it hasn't changed since joining jewish spaces

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bookwyrminspiration · 6 months ago

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sat down like okay. gotta be serious for a second to figure out this kink in my story. it might be annoying, it might take some effort, but it's crucial for the end result. and then 30 seconds in I realized I'd actually worked it out a few days ago

#shitpost #i was like okay i gotta focus like extra for a second #i know the general thing that needs to happen. but how SPECIFICALLY does it work out #so. writers block fixed I guess. kind of. few little details to figure out #also guys. i am ignoring the deadline HARD rn #not like I won't finish in time #just like. my god do I always set myself up for a race and a crunch #also. DREADING the amount of editing i have ahead of me #quil why did u do this you motherfuck #but i can't think about that yet i have to finish writing first #i have. 9 days. fuckkkkkk #fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk #okay. okay. okay. okay. it's fine. we're all good. GOD i hope my recipient likes this i always overthink it #and overcomplicate it #biting my nails tearing out my hair fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

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jankwritten · 11 months ago

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yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit

i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.

i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.

this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them

#this is also because i grew up in a racist area and in that culture and my own ignorance i also Was Kinda Racist #but like in that way where you don't realize it's racism until you're out of it and now feel so ashamed that you forcefully block all #those memories just so you don't ever have to associate yourself with them ever again?#(mind you I was like. 15-16 and closeted and scared scared scared all the time so I acted like the Crowd and that was awful of me to do)#BUT NOW that i've grown and am learning and have taken classes on anthropology and all kinds of stuff I just feel like I notice my own shit #like TENFOLD now #it's my anxiety overthinking thing plus if anybody ever knows I could have done anything SLIGHTLY problematic the world will explode #plus my constant paranoia that someone is always watching me and just Knows that I'm Secretly a Bad Person (even though I don't think I am?#also I feel like I need to clarify that the kind of racism in my town wasn't like. klan shit. it was like very hidden racism?#it was like. kids casually doing black accents and making jokes with racist undertones. the kind of racism where race was always #the butt of the joke instead of an outright HATED thing. and I think that's why it was so hard to unlearn #it's like that thing where in order to stop wanting to kill yourself you have to stop joking about wanting to kill yourself #this has become a vent post accidentally i'm so sorry #this is just. one of my Major anxieties that engulfs me every day because of 1) anxiety 2) potential OCD 3) being a bad person in my past #this is another reason I fucking hate florida #because I just know if I had grown up in my home town in MI I would not have been raised in that environment #and it's my own fucking fault for falling into the crowd like that.#all this to say i traumatized myself and likely some people around me by being A Fucking Idiot when I was a kid #and now adult me is doing everything in their power to not ever be that person ever fucking again #tw vent post #tw racism #tw past racism #but im better now and I know my mistakes and I refuse to make them again #fuck florida for every fucking reason under the sun

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5-htagonist · 5 months ago

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i am genuinely so crazyyyy about lbruuuuu.... like Genuinely Genuinely. its pretty bad guise

#like. im crazy about the.m #unfortunately ive been touched by autism and therefore the pattern seeking. they are so dirkjake #and also so me nand my husband <3 #its kind of freaky actually #my husband and kabru both have ptsd overthinking masking disease. he said he didnt like kabru (anime only) and i told him about those trait #and he was like is he me. is that why i dont like him. and i was like LOL #he was ilke i dont like that he says what he needs to get what he wants... and i was like sir we literally just talked about how bad your #Fake Conflict Avoidant has gotten bro dont even play #im laios ofc.... ofc... not only is our autism like. similar in presentation. but also the whole never fitting in #and getting told off by a friend granted i wasnt told she always hated me but i was told about how annoying i am and on another occasion #how unreliable i am so LOLLLL that entireeeee scene seriously wrenched my soul #anyway im gonna commit egregious acts against myself to atone for this #alsoooooohis relationship with falin... is really relatable..#now this may sound harsh against laios but im his number one fan i will defend him to death but...#he left his struggling sister to avoid his own pain and didnt reconnect with her for years #like. Yeah. wow. i will say i was much more cruel to my sibling than laios ever was to falin lol he was just kind of a normal brotherly ass #and ofc he was a kid when he ran from home! and i was a kid when i had severe unmanaged adhd (with tism) and had 0 hold on my emotions #and then i withdrew from my sibling once i got on antidepressants lol #it was really difficult to deal with the guilt of having mistreated them to the extent i did while also acknowledging i was failed by our #adults its hard figuring out what exactly youre sorry for #anyways #i love oversharing here. do you guys like it. does anyone ever read these rants #DM

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me-you-and-my-medication · 8 months ago

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I think I have avpd. I just relate a lot to the symptoms I've found and listening to people talk about it I resonate with too

#i saw some people say. despite having such an intense need for connection and belonging they just self sabotage and have a genuiene fear #i felt that so hard.#i know i have rocd but i never understood why it was so bad. why i always felt so alienated all the time #why i let myself just fall into the background. why i have such a naturally anxious demeanor and overthink comfortable silence.#i worry too much all the time about how im percieved and the fact that i dont fit in and i could never wrap my head around why #or why i push people away all the time for seemingly no reason. i even used to do it in highschool.#getting close to people. being vulnerable with them. its so so anxiety inducing for me.#i thought it was avoidant attachment but it feels like more than that. i dont know.#it would make sense ... im worried im faking it though. idk.#i want to ask my therapist what she thinks. i brought it up before but she kinda brushed it off as avoidant attachment #idk. ive been thinking about it a lot but i also dont want to fakeclaim.#diary

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whatsagirltoblogabout · 1 year ago

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I'm at the conspiracy theory stage of my White Collar hyperfixation.

In the Season 3 premiere (3.01 On Guard), Neal's tie is sliced during a fencing match and he's forced to put on a new one at the WC office. He puts the new tie around his neck, but then takes a file out of the rack on his desk and moves it to a different part of the rack before starting to tie his tie. Does he have a mirror or something hidden in his file rack??? Was this established or hinted at somewhere else, either in the series or in behind the scenes content? And if there isn't a mirror, then WHY DID HE DO THAT???

#today's episode of 'losing my mind about white collar' is brought to you by me trying to figure out the timeline for the warehouse explosion #I still haven't figured it out to my satisfaction #but as far as I can piece together the warehouse explodes during the day then there's a gap in time until nightfall #Neal arrives home at night/evening to find the key and go to the warehouse with the treasure #and then ends up with Peter and Jones for the lie detector test? which took place for 5 hours overnight in some other warehouse?#and then immediately afterwards he goes to meet Sara at a bookstore without changing his clothes?#and then finally goes back to his loft and talks to Mozzie #still in the same clothes #i think???#what happened in that afternoon gap after the explosion?#was it just cleanup and stuff?#what was Neal doing?#he says 'prove it' and then walks off all angry so I feel like he wouldn't have gone back to the office? but he didn't go home either?#or did he go home but Mozzie hadn't left the key yet but he didn't change his clothes and went back out again at some point?#like that seems overly convoluted #ha! overly convoluted. says the person thinking too hard about something that was probably just hand waved for plot reasons #eh whatever. I like overthinking. I'm having fun and that's what matters #also why did Peter and Jones do their interrogation so clandestinely #like I know Peter wanted it off the bureau's radar #haha radar - because 2.16 was called under the radar #anyways #why not at Neal's loft? why the warehouse?#like I acknowledge that the scene took place where and when it did for the *ambience*#however in-universe it puzzles me #but I'm also super oblivious and certainly not the sharpest tool in the shed so I might just be overlooking a really obvious solution #welp #white collar #episode 2.16 #episode 3.01

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phoebespenglers · 1 year ago

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stop getting your hopes up. stop getting your hopes up. stop getting your hopes up. stop ge

#HE DIDNT SAY THE EXACT WORDS OF “NO I DONT LIKE HER” SO. SO #why is liking men so hard. i hate this #joking btw i love men!!!#but he somehow didnt realize it was Me even though i stare at him constantly. which ik i should stop doing but i have a problem #anyway. Anyway. my brain #won't stop Thinking. and Overthinking. and making up Scenarios. is this what having a crush is supposed to be like. fuckfuckfuck #i have not felt this way this intensely before. but there is a high chance that he doesnt reciprocate SO I NEED TO STOP FEELING IT IMMEDIAT #-LY #UGH UGH AUGH #STOP ITTTT GIRL HE BARELY KNOWS YOU!!!!#i sound like [redacted]. sigh #bee.txt #bee's mystery man 🥸

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kukkakisu · 9 months ago

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I often get super nervous around people and worry I'm not communicating right or that I'm being annoying. Why is socializing so difficult q-q

#personal #or more so why does brain make it so scary akshfa #i love meeting new people and hanging out with others but man #sometimes it feels like I don't know how to do “normal” human things and I get very stressed about it #overthinking is not good but it's also hard to stop it from happening #i think in the end all I can do is to acknowledge it and let it go #thankfully I have very nice friends that are super supporting and reassuring so I'm sure it'll be okay with time

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moving-to-dreamwinged · 1 year ago

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my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol

#.mei chats #soryr really my family is. great i need to stpo complain #i just wish theyd realize that im not incompetent #i do a really good job taking care of myself for the entire 10 months out of the year that i dont live with them #and im proud of the independence ive developed bc i worked really hard to feel ANY sort of positive feelings about myself #but they just dont recognize it at all when i come back #trying to tell me how to microwave my food and reminding me of paperwork i have to do #Thanks i literally managed the entire program tasks myself for the last 6~months but yeah you better remind me about the medical forms #or else ill totally forget and mess up the whole thing :'333 bc im just so stupid!! thakn you soooo much for taking care of me!!#<- not like ive been hypervigilant and anxious about making sure i do every little thing with it perfect #in fact there was actually an issue w one of my forms bc they made me submit it even though i didn't think it was filled out properly.#they were like “itll be fine youre overthinking” guess who got an email 3 days later saying the form was completely invalid.#god just bottom line why cantthey trust me when i say im on top of it. fucking trust me this program is my entire life right now #i am putting literally eveyr ounce of effort i've got into not ruining it. they just dont see the improvements and growth ive made at all #so frustrating bc ive worked so hard to pinpoint and fix that specifically but what can ya do #god this got long. sawry #.not f/o related

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your-lovely-ghost · 8 months ago

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Lord don’t let this be the day my egg is cracked

#i mean. it sort of already is #but still #having a crisis about my gender identity in the shower 🥰🥳🥳#from Jaime #Taylor’s MIA which is probably why I’m feeling it so intensely today #*sigh*#trans #nb #intersex #it’s hard to explain and maybe it doesn’t even matter and I’m just overthinking it #maybe I’m just blendy rn or it’s all in my head.#but basically…#our parents wanted a girl So Bad. and I won’t necessarily say they didn’t get one. they certainly got Something #a girl-thing. I’m definitely not a man #but I’m not a woman either. I’m a she exactly like how the ocean and the moon and dogs are #but if I were a ruler I’d be a King. not a Queen. and I’m definitely a Mx. and not a Ms./Mrs.#I’m not a he. they is okay but it doesn’t quite fit. same with she I guess.#don’t even get me started on body stuff. I’d like top surgery but I’m scared.#I know I don’t want bottom surgery though #i think for now I’m most comfortable as an ‘it’.#A girlthing. emphasis on thing. 💙#it’s been almost a year to the day since my hair started growing thicker and my period stopped unexplainably (it’s been a few years now—#…since it started doing that technically)#but honestly? I’m vibing with it!#should probably still see a doctor though

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skitskatdacat63 · 10 months ago

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#I wish you could send people a survey every month #like 'do you still like me' 'are you growing tired of me' 'am i too annoying'#i feel like deep down i know my friends like me #but i get wound up so often just questioning every interaction #and over analyzing it till it makes me feel ill #you can have a convo and it wont be the best most perfect convo in the world every time #yeah thats how it works!#but i start overthinking every thing and its so hard to rationalize myself #EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO REASON TO THINK THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE #god i hate this #i wish i could remove the ability of self introspection #why must i question every interaction and run in circles making myself think im living in some world where i am hated and disgust people #ah man being alone at home is not good for me #i dont hate to be alone but i have too much time to think and its very dangerous #its bad bcs like i dont want to question people #like if i found out a friend thought i was losing interest in them id be so sad!#but it's impossible to think from the other perspective #instead i just start making conspiracy theories to myself abt how i am detested actually #sry i think i go on this rant every month #im lonely :(#catie.rambling.txt

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bangcakes · 10 months ago

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#personal #saw 2 of my friends from school tonight #they asked how its goin with you know who and i was like hhhhhh #and they were like. you should just ask him out #n im like. um........... NDJDJDJDJD #bc literally EVERYONE is saying this to me.#why cant HE ask ME????? god its so #but i am older... by just 2 years. maybe thats intimidating???? he doesnt seem intimidated by me tho. god idk #i think im gonna message him tomorrow #its been like 2 weeks idk JDJXXXKXKKX #i did have a bad cold tho.... JDJJDNDD #god... why is this so hard. and like why is he SO?????? difficult????#ok not difficult. i think actually hes quite simple but Andjkfkfkdkdk #idk how to explain this man. i really dont. hes like me if you removed the overthinking and my filter #but idk im also scared to start something im not ready for #but then..... feel like it kind of already started #god idk #and with more time passing im like. OH GOD WHAT IF HE FINDS SOMEONE ELSE #????#but then if thats the case then ok fine it wasnt meant to be #i also am just like.... i feel like. the possibility of anyone liking me back is just... way too foreign #like. idk sometimes im like. what if this is all a joke JDKJDKDKDKDKDM #god idk idk #im also like maybe i should pretend to friendzone him in my mind so that its Less Scary to talk to him #bc like. once i do talk to him its literally fine NDJDJDJKDMD #hhhhhhhh

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