#sry i think i go on this rant every month

[skitskatdacat63]

.

[s-rosie]

AVERY HCSSSSS

i thought our leading lady needed more appreciation so i made these hcs. a lot of these are with avery and another character so lmk if you still like these. enjoyyyyy 🤌✨

avery got braces after she got the money bc she couldn’t afford them before and she was a little insecure about them but jameson thought they were really cute

she used to hate the scars from the times when people tried to kill her but as time went on she learned to love them

i hc hawthorne house had a trampoline park and her and xander had a sleepover in there where they played taylor swift and jumped until xander broke his arm trying to do a triple backflip

her and max always scream when they hop on a call that’s on speaker so they don’t spill the tea when everyone can here

avery is chronically addicted to block blast and she has the highest score you can possibly get on the game (me fr 😭💀)

when she was hooked up to the life support machines after the plane bombing she made a bunch of pictures and videos that she never posted but just bc she thought they were funny (they really weren’t she was just high from the meds)

oren had to teach her how to pick locks and she told him it was just because she needed to open a door but wouldn’t let him do it himself (she lost the keys to jameson’s handcuffs and needed to get him out)

she always has at least one airpod in at all times and always looses them around hawthorne house

she once had a “dream” (😏😏😏) about jameson but she was having a sleepover with libby and max and libby was like “why were you moving around and making noise last night” and ave was like “i was probably just sleep talking” but max knew what was really going on and never let it go

avery switches her aesthetic like every month and switches her room decor/wardrobe with that aesthetic

she has like 50000 pillows on her bed and jameson gets so confused about which he’s allowed to sleep on bc she doesn’t want him to ruin the decorative pillows

ave is an amazing actress and can fake cry on the spot so when she needs to win something she fake cries and jameson knows her fake cry and he doesn’t go over to her to comfort her so her plan will work

she’s allergic to shellfish and she learned that when she ate some at a gala and she started having a reaction and she broke out in hives and was struggling to breath but thankfully oren had an epi pen with him so she didn’t die

she enforces a rule around hawthorne house about no shoes bc she thinks it’s nasty so everyone just slides around in socks like an ice skating rink (they actually think it’s really fun so no one complains)

she loves water bottles and has a whole cabinet dedicated to her water bottles

she has tumblr and a03 accounts that she stayed anonymous on that she kept when she got the inheritance bc no one knew it was her and she needed to rant about her books and write fics and stuff and they said stuff like “omg jameson is such a book boyfriend” and “i want to date him” she was just like yeah so do i… (she was keeping it a secret from the hawthorne s but they eventually found it and made fun of her spicy fics and xander ended up being one of her moots under an anonymous account bc they read the same books)

her and grayson watch shows like the golden girls and i love lucy together bc they love the old style

one time her nash found her✨spicy✨texts with jameson and never let her let them go

sry this is kinda short but i’m sick rn so i’m trying to get my rest but i hope you like theseeee

[kuroosdarling]

tag all of your mutuals and put beside it the kind of person they are im really curious :)

oh boy !!! buckle up bc i am ready to pour out my love <33 i love all of my talented moots so i’m just going to say a few things about them and hopefully it answers your question !! hehe they’re all wonderful people and im super glad to know each and every one :’)

i have a lot more newer moots that i’d like to gush about too but i am v shy when it comes to interacting !!! so if we are moots and you’re not here it’s just bc i’m shy about tagging you !! :(<3

@myheroesaretired nesi !! she puts up with all my shit i stg lol she gets so many of my unfiltered thoughts … sry nesi </3 i feel like i’ve known her forever even tho it’s been a couple months pls!! she’s so easy to talk to and i’m v thankful for her support :’) literally think we were twins in a past life tbh !!

@sookisaurus risu !!! one of my first moots hehe risu is so incredibly welcoming and she looks after everyone <3 i love chatting with her any chance i can bc she’s so funny n always has something good to say <3 also whenever we start talkin bout kuroo it’s game over 😵‍💫🤍 we feed into each others brainrots and im always here for it !!

@mattsunkawa echo !! my bubs hehe omg she’s so funny n chill and i love talking to her sm <3 i bug her all the time PLS !! anytime we watch a new anime it’s tradition to yell to each other about it at this point. from aot -> op -> csm + bluelock lol !! i love when we share bits of our writing with each other just to rile the other one up lmfao !!

@oooohno nana <3 literally the sweetest person ever !! anytime we chat or interact i get so so happy!! she’s so kind and literally always tags me in the best stuff 🤧 so incredibly thoughtful to everyone on here <33 she’s sm fun to talk to :) especially when we dive in about our fave characters !

@ohtokki WAH laura !! <3 such a friendly and warm person fr her energy just makes everyone feel at home !!! the type of person i’d love to sit and have some tea with and talk about anything !! (esp video games lol)

@1812p4n K🥺 one of the kindest people on this site!! always spreading love and happiness to everyone on the dash <3 what did we do to deserve her fr 🤍✨

@crescentkaze KAZE !! such a sweetie but also her MIND !! pls anytime i wanna rant about railing fictional characters i run to her immediately !!! we always end up building off each other and idk those convos always make my day :’)

@discordkittenjoestar - kendall pls !! she’s so so funny and i love all of her shitposts sm <3 also super sweet n supportive hehe and im excited to talk to her more O:

@akisbrew SOBS !!! aims !! she is seriously so funny and so down to earth!! such a chill person and incredibly supportive !! she’s someone i would love to sit down and vibe with, chatting bout life and our her mans (jean<3)

@taintedsorrcw milo bby <33 queen of events methinks !!! she always creates beautiful themes, events n masterlists !!! she’s also so so sweet and sm fun to talk to !! :)

@soshiina ina !! SOBS !! so incredibly funny and has such a vibrant energy !! chaotic in the best way possible that makes you wanna just talk to her for hours on end fr !!! <3

@writingbymoonlight luna :)) i always love whenever i get to interact with luna because she is just so sweet !! i feel like she has the best book recs tbh bc anytime i see her post about a new book she got it makes me want to go read it too O:

@satisfactooru bay !! pls !! literally could gush about her all day 🥺 she’s so nice and welcoming !! i feel like she’s good at making others feel heard and appreciated <33 such a kind soul fr hehe

@oomiya anyone that knows haley knows she super sweet 🥺 anytime we interact i feel so warm n fuzzy !! she has a way with words and making everyone feel safe tbh <3

@wakatshi - anytime i think of the word lovely i think of daria hehe she’s so nice and her aesthetic is gorgeous !! (just like her pls!!)

@daiception nini !!! she’s so so gorgeous and i luv her style !! we are newer moots but anytime we interact it brings a big smile to my face <3

@kurootosis lem 🥺 lovely lem !! i always luv seeing her on the dash hehe but i still get shy reaching out to interact sometimes lol !! she has such a cool vibe and she’s someone i would love to sit and talk to at a cozy lil cafe !!

@kurooandkenmasslut nat !! i think we became moots like yesterday lol BUT i love her energy !! she seems like sm fun and im glad we are interacting bc i always need more people to gush over kuroo n kenma <33

[bluewinnerangel]

Hi have you seen this Haylor timeline threadon twt? This made doubt a lot of things about Harry really. Sry I'm a new larrie( I could literally be considered as gp a month ago). this thread presents stuff in so much detail and w pictures idk what to make of it. And that's how we larries make threads & mps too right? It's all about our interpretation. We really don't know what's going on behind the scenes..what do you think?

Hah! I did, it's here for whose who are interested. It's just a very very very long list of every time they both existed LOL. I'm kinda scared for when you find out about all the other pairings and accompanying mps and timelines involving Harry, if this is convincing to you it's gonna get real confusing then...

ok cut because discourse:

The thing is, beyond this thread NOTHING adds up for them being or have been together at any point, but with Harry & Louis scrape away the media bullshit and it's the opposite. Yeah those kinda threads and mps are fun and stuff but it's not what's convincing me they're together. (Also you absolutely cannot put everything in 1 thread like that, god, there's a decade's worth of this wild larrying crap) It's the consistency, the patterns, and also the whenever there's something going on (like bearding/PR stunting stuff) there's a response, there's some kinda push and pull.

So it's kinda funny that thread is full of Louis being very very present (being pity / throwing himself into the conversation etc) to the point where the whole thread almost feels like satire to me, not to mention all the things in there that I actually see as pointing towards them being fake (including a lot of those song parallels, because yes I do believe those lil nods towards each other are actually there, just not in a romantic way, and also if you're gonna believe those you're also gonna have to explain why taylor's doing the same thing but with louis' lyrics), and even him making a "beard" gesture at a haylor sign.

As for the first bit of the thread, it's the whole point of a PR relationship to make it look believable, to seed and leave lil breadcrumbs everywhere. And that's what that is. The whole thing is showing how this stunt was actually hella succesful, and that they were both right, they never went out of style and seemed perfect for each other. All those times in 2012 they were talking about each others / the people around them are 'giving things away' and all the 'organic' fan spottings and whatnot are all part of the PR circus. The same is happening right now with holivia. I have a haylor/no masterpost that's full of timelines and rants and whatnot from all sides, I think there's even a masterpost in there that goes kicking down all the haylor pillars from timelines such as that thread one. I get it's overwhelming especially for someone new to this, so I'm sorry for that.

Egh I'm not here to convince anyone really, and it's pretty exhausting to talk about, but do check the masterpost with links! :)

[ilove-cedricdiggory]

Okay

This is the first time I’m writing on my desktop, so if it looks funky, that’s why. 

Remus X Reader 

Requested? Yes, by @soularsmate. The ask can be found here!

Summary - It’s full moon time and Remus is attempting to protect you, but does he do that in the best way? Do you react in the right way? 

Trigger Warning - Angsty, fluffy at the end. Mentions of break up, a fight, things like that. 

You were following Remus down the streets of Diagon Alley, fuming at the ears. The two of you got together after you graduated from Hogwarts, having known each other vaguely in school. The two of you had bumped into each other at the Apothecary, you realizing quite quickly that he was purchasing the ingredients for the wolfsbane potion. 

“Are you sure you know how to brew that, Rem?” You asked softly, having stood, staring at the man as things clicked in your head. “Uh, it’s gonna be my first time to brew it myself, so, let’s hope so.” He chuckled nervously, not sure what you were gonna say. 

“I can always help you brew it, Remus. I was top in Potions every year, and I helped younger students brew it in school, so I have tons of practice.” 

That’s how it started. You would come over two nights before the full moon, help him brew the potion, then leave. You'd always come back the day after a full moon, always giving him some poor excuse to let you in, but needing to keep an eye on him for your own heart. You needed to confirm that he was safe. 

It slowly lead to you two being together, but the two of you always kept your distance during the full moon, Remus keeping you at arms length when it came to Moony. You hadn’t understood why, having helped him brew the wolfsbane so many times, reassuring him that you were more than knowledgable in the ways to protect yourself, and in ways that you could help - take care of him. 

But with each passing full moon, each month that he kept you far away from him, well it was picking away at your resistance to put up with it. 

It was now a year later, and your feet stomped after the werewolf, two days before the full moon. You had gotten into yet another argument at the Apothecary, you having insisted that it was time he let you be there for him. 

But the man kept his ground, refusing to let you anywhere near him when it came time to transform, or the two days following it. He didn’t want you to witness the blood pooling in each of his inflicted wounds. He didn’t want to see the look on your face when you actually saw the monster he was. 

You entered his home, following him through his door. “Remus!” You shouted at him as he began to walk into his bedroom. “What do you want from me, y/n?” His voice was in a shout itself, causing you to flinch slightly. Through the twelve months the two of you had been together, Remus had never shouted at you. 

“What has gotten into you? Remus, what is this? We’ve been doing this for a year now! I have been here for you for a year now! Why can't you let me be there for you for this! Every month, I help you brew your potion. Every month I help you prepare to transform. Every month you push me away! I’m tired of this! You let James and Sirius be there for you! You even let Peter! Why can’t you trust me to do this?” Your voice had grown softer as you continued your rant, watching Remus as he stared back at you. 

“You know what, you're right. We’ve done this for a year and we’re still arguing over this. Maybe it is time this ended.” You let out a sigh of relief, beginning to take a step towards the lycanthrope. “Thank you, thank you for realizing I can do this-” He jerked his hand out, stopping you in your attempt to walk to him. “No, y/n, it’s time we ended this.” He gestured between the two of you, shaking his head. “We’re...we’re done.” He nodded his head, almost forcing himself to agree with this before he turned on his heels and walked into his bedroom, shutting the door. 

It had been three days sense, the day you would usually be allowed to apparate into his flat, pull him into your arms, and hold him as he got over the last bit of pain. But, instead, you sat on the couch in your own flat, attempting to shut out all the memories of him holding you in his arms as you forced him to watch another muggle movie with you. Attempting to shut out the thoughts of calling him to your flat to kiss you the way he used to . Attempting to shut out the idea of baking cookies together in your kitchen, where you would throw flower into his face then run through the apartment like your life depended on it. 

Now, you were forced to sit in the eye of the storm that you called your head, attempting to hide yourself from the memories it attempted to bombard your mind with when your eyes glanced to anything in your apartment. 

But you were tired of it. You were tired of making yourself feel like this was your fault, because it wasn’t. So, you picked up a quill and you wrote as frantically as you could to the one person who would support your next actions - Lily. 

She had been there through your entire relationship, having informed you of all the little quirks of the group before you were thrown into it. Laughing with you as you both walked down the streets of Diagon Alley on your own shopping day. Sitting in your apartment as you both watched baby Harry move to sit up by himself, cheering for the small thing as he laughed his baby laugh. 

She popped into your flat in no time, nodding her head and getting you both ready. Because, if you were going to get your head out of this funk, you had to get your body out of the funk it was in. So, you both got dressed in the sluttiest of dresses, having applied the darkest of eyeshadow, and put on the highest of heels you owned, and strutted yourself into the first muggle rave you could find. 

Drinks were downed, by you at least. Lily was still breastfeeding and didn’t have the time to pump enough for Harry to drink while the alcohol left her system. So, she screamed with you as you downed shots after shots, cheering as you danced on whatever you wanted to dance on, and made sure that you had the time you wanted to have without thinking of the wolf that made you take this outing. 

That was, until, you thought you saw him. It was a muggle with sandy blonde hair, just like his, the height, just like his, and then again, he was all you could think of. So, what do you do? The only rational thing you can think of - well, the only rational thing your drunken mind can do, you send him a picture. 

You go to the bathroom, your look right into the mirror, adjust your boobs a little bit, then take the sluttiest picture you can think of, send it to him, then a few seconds later type out, “Oh/ wand’t mwent forr u, sry.” Then walk out of the bathroom with the sole intent of dancing with the muggle who started this. 

You walked past him, dragging your hand on his arm before mumbling an apology, looking up at him with the same doe eyes that had Remus stumbling over his words plenty of times. The muggle immediately turned to you, licking his bottom lip before biting it, shrugging. “All good, can I get you a drink?” You glanced back at Lily, where her eyebrows were furrowing, asking herself if that was the same man who had you crying 6 hours ago. 

Before she could attempt to change your mind, you shook your head, “No, I think I’d much rather dance.” The muggle quickly took your hand, leading you further into the dance floor, pulling you through the many bodies already moving their hips on their partners before turning your backside to him, letting you move your own hips in the same pace as the pounding beat surrounding you. 

You don’t know if your body sensed him, or if you just happened to look up at the right time, but your eyes glanced up to see the sandy blonde haired man your body wished it was grinding on, locking eyes with him before turning around and wrapping your arms around the strange man’s neck. 

You attempted to pretend like your body was in flames with just the mere thought of Remus watching you in another man’s hold, until his hold was ripped off of you and you were found in much more familiar arms. 

“Yo, dude, we were kind of dancing!” The muggle shouted at Remus before his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Dude, your face looks like mine.” The drunk man laughed a bit at the idea of Remus looking so much like him and watched as Remus drug you out of the bar. 

“I’m gonna head home. I think you’ve got her now.” You heard Lily speak, but you were too focused on keeping the vomit in your stomach and not letting it leave your mouth like it so wanted to. “Yeah, I’ve got her. Thanks for texting me back.” His hold tightened on you as he walked you both into the deserted alley, apparating you both to his apartment before you slipped from his hold and rushed into his bathroom, hearing his footsteps follow you and his hands pull back your hair, his other rubbing your back softly. 

“You okay?” He whispered softly, watching you nod your head then sit up properly, feeling a bit more sober. “Why did you come get me?” You whispered, your eyes closing. “You’re the one who texted me a picture of you in a dress you swore to only let me see.” He continued to brush a few more strands back from your face. 

“I said it wasn’t meant for you.” Your voice was mumbled, your eyes trained on the floor. If Remus knew how to do one thing, it was to tell you were lying. “Y/n, come on.” His finger found your chin, lulling your eyes to look into his. “Remus, you can’t do this. You’re the one who broke up with me!” You stood up, walking into his room. 

“I know! But you still sent me the picture!” You blushed, shaking your head. “How did you know where I was?” You looked at him with that, watching him scratch the back of his neck. “I texted Lily. I figured if you went out with anyone, it was going to be her.” You nodded, looking around. “Well, I’m gonna head home Remus.” You sat on his bed, swiftly taking off your shoes before standing. 

“Wait, y/n.” He stepped closer to you, sighing. “Please don’t go. I know I broke up with you and I know you probably hate me, but please don’t go. Moony can’t stand the thought of you leaving, especially not now, especially not after seeing you with someone else - even if he looked like me.” 

You looked up at him, shaking your head. “You and Moony don’t get to say that kind of stuff to me anymore. If you both wanted to talk to me like that, you would have let me be there for you. You wouldn’t have broken up with me.” 

Remus took two large steps to you, taking your hands in his. “Look, I can’t tell you that I’ll be super comfortable with letting you be there during my transformations as quickly as you probably want to be, but I swear that I’ll work on it. You can stay here when I go and be here as soon as I come back, help patch me up. But, please don’t leave again.” Your eyes widened, looking up at him. 

“Remus, don’t play with me like that.” Your eyes teared up, looking into his eyes. “I’m not, I swear. I want you here for me, I do.” 

Your arms wrapped around his neck, pressing yourself into his hold. “Okay.” You breathed out. Things were gonna need a minute to fix itself, but you knew one thing - you weren’t leaving. 

“Okay.” 

[someonewhowannadielol]

What is Love?

Requested by @sassysaxsolo​

Pairing: BadBoy!JK x Innocent!Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Warning: Dirty talk, degrading, oral sex (m and f receiving), pussy slapping, exhibitionism (??). Oh god this has like 4 smut scenes in it, it's nothing but porn bye

Summary: Jungkook has a degrading kink. Y/N doesn’t seem to like it. Also, JK is bad at this entire love thing but totally whipped for the girl of his dreams.

WordCount: 3.6k

A/N: The first scene is inspired by Hunter and Amy from “Hot Summer Night,” because it’s such a cute couple! P.S this might not be my best work because I wrote it at 3AM, so :( sry

You wouldn’t exactly call your boyfriend mean by any chances, but it doesn’t mean he was the nicest person you’ve ever met either. Sometimes you look at other people, like Hoseok, or Jimin, they could most definitely keep you happy – and speak to you like you’re an actual human when you both fuck.

You still remember the first time Jeon Jungkook had ever well, noticed you.

“-and then they both crashed into each other!” your friend was telling this story for the nth time, and you paying your 101% undivided attention to your fries sitting in front of you, basically drowning in ketchup, while trying to ignore the eyes that bore in the back of your head.

It was the last day of your exams as a sophomore in high school, and just like everyone else in town, you’d gone to the diner you always went to, at the end of 15thStreet Avn. Everyone and their mom had decided to come, so it was really busy, you literally had to speak loud to your friends, sitting just across you.

Fifteen minutes ago, Jeon Jungkook had walked into a diner and chose the place that gave the perfect view of you from the back.

Seven minutes ago, your friends had noticed that he was – shamelessly – staring at you, strawberry milkshake in one hand, a lit cigarette in the other. When you tried to look back, his eyes didn’t even flinch when they made contact with yours. On top of it, he winked at you. It was weirdly strange, yet made you feel all giddy inside.

What. The. Fuck. It was a well-known fact that girls would actually die to have one date with Jungkook, willing to get plastic surgeries, buying the most expensive clothes, and even leaving gifts in his locker at school. So why was here he here, in this lame-ass diner? And that too, wasting time while staring at you? He clearly didn’t even take a sip of his beverage.

“Oh my gosh, Y/N, he’s so totally staring at you,” your best friend from across the booth said, while pretending to look at her nails.

“He’s so hot, I would totally take a bite,” your other friend says while taking a bite of her burger.

“Yuck!” you exclaim, as you can’t help but laugh at the thought of it. You had a certain laugh, especially when you were sitting around with your friends – it wasn’t that loud, but your eyes would bunch up as you would unconsciously bring your hand up to your mouth, and would throw your head back.

You dare to look back at him again, but this time you see his coming towards you, while taking a puff from his half smoked cigarette. You immediately turn your head back, so quick that you feared you’d broken your neck.

You look at your friends adjust their hair and posture when they see him coming towards your booth, and you can’t help but play with the hem of your sleeve, biting your lip. He stands across you, leaning on the booth in front of yours, swirling his straw so the whipped cream becomes one with the milkshake.

As soon as he makes eye contact with you, you just freak out and amidst that panic, you blurt out, “I have a boyfriend.”

He looks back at you and smirks, oh God, he looks so, so amazing. This year, he’s grown out his hair, so the waves were sprawled against his forehead, and he pushed it back with his hand after placing the milkshake next to you. He’s the pitch perfect image of a fuckboy; leather jacket, a motorbike, tattoos (even though he’s totally not 18 years old yet), and the lingering scent of cigarettes.

“Nah, no, you don’t,” he takes another puff of his cigarette, “but if you don’t stop being so fucking cute, you will,”

You chuckle, thinking he’s pranking you, thinking it’s just a joke him and his stupid friends had planned out to humiliate you publicly, “You don’t know the first thing about me,” you say as you dip a fry in ketchup.

“I know you like ketchup,” he says, before taking a sip from his milkshake.

That was also the day when Jeon Jungkook had officially asked you out.

-

When you’d spent the entire summer with him, you got to realize one thing about him, he loved to degrade you while having sex. Sure, it was fun the first few times – but after that, words like “slut,” and “whore,” had started making you feel like one.

It was obvious that to you that you weren’t his first priority; football and his friends were always going to be before you. You still remember he was less than enthusiastic when you told him about the art gallery you’d host after working on your still life pieces for two years.

But in reality, everyone on the team knew he was head over heels for Y/N, he had quitted smoking right after he heard you cough, he’s started wearing a helmet whenever he rode his bike, and even let you decorate it with your frilly stickers. He would always, always go out of his way to get a fresh pack of chocolate milk for you, because you once mentioned that your dad doesn’t let you drink it because it’s unhealthy.

“Here, babe,” he says tossing you your daily supply of chocolate milk.

“Hey, remember when I told you about the art gallery I was preparing for?” you said, but it seemed like he was more interesting in scrolling Instagram on his iPhone, “um, because I have to go to art school,”

“Yeah, what about it?” he said, pecking your cheek as he got up for class.

“Well, it’s on the 28thof October, that’s next week,” you say before taking a sip of the milk he got you.

He waited a minute before speaking anything, and you wished, you wished deep in your heart so sincerely that he wouldn’t come up with an excuse.

“You know Jake’s birthday is that day, right? Can’t you reschedule it?” he said, looking down, adjusting his leather jacket.

You felt as if someone was stomping on your chest, it was getting harder to swallow the milk in your mouth, and it didn’t taste like the too sugary drink it was – instead it felt like you were swallowing poison. He surely remembered your rants about how it was so hard to rent a place in that gallery right? Or how it took you three months to manage to snag it for a couple of hours? Or how it took you two years to compile your best art pieces?

“B-but I don’t think I can do that, I barely got to rent the place an-and I- “

“Babe, I don’t think I can make it. The boys and I are going out to the city,” he said, tilting his head.

He didn’t wait for your reply, already walking down the hallway, leaving you heartbroken.

On 28thOctober, you met all the professional people you had dreamed of meeting, it was an honor, especially since you were just a Junior in high school. But, you never saw the face you wanted to see. You couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your chest when the exhibition finally finished, and you had to close the gallery.

That night, around 1AM, Jungkook broke into your room through your window how he usually did, only this time he had a bouquet of roses in his right hand, and red eyes.  When he noticed your tear stricken eyes and smudged mascara, he didn’t think twice before throwing the flowers on your bed and hugging you hard. Then, when he was so close, you noticed that he reeked of alcohol and weed. But it was fine.

He spent the night trying to make you laugh by reciting jokes he was forced to listen from Seokjin, and trying to make up for not being there. He cuddled you, putting your head under his chin, your body resting on his chest. It felt like home, when you would be with him, alone.

“How did it go?” he asks, nuzzling his face in your neck, peppering kisses there.

“It went amazing, I got a lot of good critique from artists and college professors,” you say, running your hands through his hair, you still missed his long hair that he cut last week, but it was way softer now,

“I missed you,” you say as he hummed.

He loved how you were like an open book, not like the girls he had been with before. You wore dresses – which he loved, because easier access – and you had long, virgin hair. He loved how untouched you were, innocent, pure and uncorrupted. He loved the little chub on your cheeks, he loved your pillow soft breasts, he loved how you always tasted like strawberries because of your chap stick. He loved virtuous you were. His to taint.

“I’m here, baby, and to make up for it, we’ll go to that café you always wanted to go to, my treat for being the best girlfriend,” he mumbled in your ear before taking off your dress and peppering kisses all over your body.

Of course, your mood had evidently changed, “Okay, you goofball,” you laugh as he tickles you.

“Baby, even if everything is wrong, it’s always going to be alright, and you know why?” he says as he kisses you on the lips. It was a chaste kiss, a huge contrast from his usual drunk kisses, they seem to be more chaste, more genuine, “you’re the only good thing in my life,”

You forgive him, like every other time.

You also toss him out the window before 6AM, before your father catches you with a boy. And that too, Jeon Jungkook. He’d probably kill you. It reminded you of the time when Jungkook decided to eat you out, on a weekday, on your bed, with your room unlocked.

It was no surprise when you found out that he was especially skilled with his tongue, not that any boy had ever even touched you there. You fought your moans, because your dad was literally downstairs watching his daily 9pm news. You knew he’d check up on you at 9.30 PM to ensure that you were studying for the SAT.

But here you were, your face stuffed with your own panties as the taste of your cum took over your tongue, it was a little embarrassing for you to taste yourself, but you paid more attention to the brown haired man between your legs. He’d mutter the same obscene words that used to give you the pleasure you needed at first, but soon became insecure of.

“You like that, dirty slut?” you mewled as he worked his tongue on your clit, adding another finger to the previous one inside of you. His two fingers did more than what you could do with your entire hand, the long slender fingers were now knuckle deep inside of you, doing wonders to your body.

“You’re such a whore, moaning here like a bitch in heat, when everyone thinking you’re an angel, huh,” he says as his fingers thrust in and out of you, lewd noises filling your small room.

You felt your blood run cold, when you could hear your dad’s footsteps on the stairs. Fuck.

“Three. You have three seconds to cum, or forget about it,” he said looking your straight in the eye, his fingers working faster than ever.

You could feel yourself pent up, your walls clenching down on his fingers.

“Two,” he said, attacking your bud with his tongue, a circling pattern, making you shake.

Before he could say ‘one,’ you were cumming, all over his fingers, your thighs and your sheets.

Jungkook chuckled, “Fucking whore,” before jumping out of your window in time, just a second before your dad came in your room. You were under the blanket, your panties under the bed, and your pride out of the window.

As you excused your flush face as a small fever, you couldn’t help but feel a weird twist in your stomach. You didn’t exactly like the way you felt.

You had avoided Jungkook as much as you could the next week, but he didn’t exactly notice because recently the football team had been putting in more hours to prepare for the nationals. He’d still slipped loving notes in your locker, and strapped a red rose on Thursday as well, that made your heart flutter.

The next time you met him was on the bus, on your way home.  

He could’ve rode his bike to his home, but he wasn’t born yesterday, he knew something was up with you when you didn’t respond to any of his messages, and didn’t even acknowledge him in your English class.

The was bus was packed, to say the least, as he followed you as you went to the tail of the vehicle, excusing people. The next stop had more people stepping in here, and he was even more pressed towards you.

You instantly regretted wearing the tennis skirt you wore yesterday, because it was short short, and also thin. You no longer had an excuse to avoid your boyfriend as you felt him press up against your back, you could feel his bulge on your butt.

You tried to look back up at him, but whimpered when you saw the animalistic look in his eyes, and the way he towered over you wasn’t helping either. You sucked in a breath when you felt his finger hitch up, and up, and up, until it was so, so near your panties as he circled your inner thigh with his thumb. He could notice how you were hyper-aware of the surroundings, as if people could see everything that was happening, everyone could see how your boyfriend was basically fingering you on the bus.

“Do you wanna do this?” you heard Jungkook whisper in your ear, and truth be told, you had missed him, the feeling of his dick, his fingers, that you needed him, and you needed him now.

You nodded, and just as soon, you heard him chuckle, “You really are a dirty slut huh?” he said as he slapped between your thighs, making your knees buckle.

With one hand, he held the handle above so he would stay balanced, but with the other one, he steadied your hips, grinding his hips against you. You almost felt embarrassed by how aroused you were, and how quick you were wet. Seconds later, you could feel his fingers separate your folds, “Spread your legs, whore.”

As you spread them, you finally noticed how many people were actually here, and how to the untrained eye it just looked like he was hugging you, but his fingers were now scissoring inside you, stretching you.

You could feel him taking his cock out of his sweatpants, brush it in your folds. You were always so sensitive, the smallest of touches against your clit would make you cry out and moan, so it was no surprise that you let out some noises as his cock entered in you.

“Make one more noise, and I won’t be scared to fuck you senseless in front of all these people,” he whispered in your ear again, this time rocking his hips into you.

“Such a slut, huh? Tell me you’re a slut,” he said, and when he noticed that you didn’t do as he said, he completely stopped all movements. You couldn’t thin straight with his dick sitting inside of you, you needed to get off, and this neediness of yours made you want to crawl into a grave and die.

“I- I’m a slut,” you whispered, and Jungkook wouldn’t have been able to heard that, if he wasn’t basically glued to you.

“S-say it again,” he stuttered and you could feel the both of you coming closer.

“I’m a slut! I’m a whore for you, Jungkook,” you whispered, as you felt yourself cum. As for him, instead of cumming in you, like you thought he would, he took himself out, and jerked off in your panties. The feeling of his cum against your soaked panties was lecherous to say the least, you could feel your panties stick to your clit, almost as a reminder of the disgusting deed you’d just done.

“Keep those on until you get home, such a fucking bitch, fucking her boyfriend in a bus,” Jungkook whispered in your ear, and stepped off the bus after slapping your ass.

And you were left alone again, thinking if you really were the slut he made you out to be.

Your next interaction with Jungkook had been next week, when you both had decided to do the English homework together, at his house. While you spent at least two hours, researching on the topic, Jungkook had simply bullshitted the entire essay in half an hour. Sigh, this is why he was failing. As you were left on his bed, completing the essay, he sat on the other end, gaming with Taehyung and some random boy through his PlayStation party.

Finally, another two hours later, you were done with the horrid essay and were desperately craving your loving and adoring boyfriend’s attention.

“Jungkook,” you tried to get his attention, but didn’t even turn around to look at you. You continued to annoy him, “Kookieee,”

Suddenly, you saw a blast on the screen, as Jungkook slammed his controller on the floor.

He muted his mic before speaking, “You just don’t wanna be a good girl for me today, huh?” At this point, you straddled his lap. He picked you up without a glimpse of hesitation, settling you between his legs, as he took out his cock.

“Suck me, and be quiet about it, unless you want Tae to hear what a desperate bitch you are,” he says, and you’re left to suck him. Jungkook definitely wasn’t small, not even close. In fact, when hard, he was bigger than you had expected dicks to be. So, 4 rounds of battle later, your jaw had started to ache, and you couldn’t help but cry out an elicit moan, forgetting Tae could hear everything.

Jungkook turns off his gaming station as soon as he hears you, “I think I told you to shut the fuck up, but you’re just too fucking stupid to understand,” he says as he harshly picks you up by your ponytail.

“I’m gonna fuck you, gonna fuck you so hard that you’ll be nothing but a dumb bitch hungry for cock,” he says as he thrashes you on the bed, stretching you out with his fingers.

Before adjusting his dick, and putting it in front of your entrance, he slaps your cunt, “that’s for fucking my game night, you bitch,” and he enters you, rough and fast.

He pushed his hair back, it’s been growing again, as he looks at you with his doe eyes again, this time they’re a shade darker. This turns you on, as you let out a whimper, “Jungkook c-close,”

“Cream yourself on my dick, go on, my dumb baby,” he chuckles, before increasing his speed, the sound of skin slapping filling the silence of the room, “Such a desperate cock slut, you can’t get off with me, huh?”

Moments later, when you both cum simultaneously, he lays down next to you and stares at the ceiling.

“What are you thinking of?” he asks, minutes after your silence. This time, he’s not harsh, but instead you’re surprised by his loving tone.

“Just thinking if you love me or not,” you mumble, closing your eyes, missing the surprised look on his face, eyes wide open, jaw ajar.

“Wha- Baby, of course I love you,” he stutters on his words, not knowing what to say. What had made you believe that he wasn’t head over heels in love with you?

“I just… I don’t know, I don’t like it when you call me names,” you explain already feeling embarrassed at being such a prude.

“Baby girl,” he sits up, and kisses your cheek, “you should’ve told me, I- I’m sorry,”

Jungkook looked like a hurt puppy, his eyes downcast, as he fiddled with his fingers. The next week, he had spent making sure you felt like the Princess you were, his Princess. Obviously, you had noticed his behavior, bringing a donut along with the chocolate milk, ditching football practice to meet you, kissing your hands every time he met you, peppering you with kisses.

“Kook, you don’t have to do this,” you exclaimed when he took you to see the beach, two hours away from the town.

“I just my Baby to know that I love her, and I want her to be happy,” he says, and for the first time, you feel like you’re free. You’re free when you’re with him and you love it.

You’re always happy with him. You loved his sloppy kisses, his shit eating grin when his fingers made you cum, his habit of bringing you chocolate milk every day, his scent which was a mixture of cologne and cigarettes, his hoarse voice after he wakes up. You knew no matter how much he accidentally hurt you, he loved you too.

CLICK HERE FOR MASTERLIST

[innittowinit]

Abandoned amusement parks are the best place for young children (chapter 5)

Fic summary: 

Techno, Tommy, Wilbur and Phil have been hanging out at the abandoned amusement park in the woods since they moved in. Techno likes knowing he's definitely alone with his brothers Tommy likes climbing on the old rides Wilbur likes having a place to play his music Phil likes spending time with his younger brothers

That is, until a group of brothers calling themselves the 'dream team' move in down the road. Will the sleepy boys give in and share the park or will they succeed in scaring the new kids off?

Chapter summary:

 the dream team talk how to maximize their attacks

the sleepy boys talk about no more fighting

Chapter word count: 1938 (a little shorter than usual sry)

AO3 

I am the author, please don’t re-upload this fic to any other sites/ reblog>re-upload

As the hazing summer weather beamed through the glass panes of their windows, the oldest of all the Dream kids, Bad, was recleaning out the scar on George’s cheek, making sure it was safe for him to go out for the day without him getting it infected, Covering it up with some gauze and medical tape once he was satisfied it wouldn’t be getting infected. Dream watched with ferocious intensity as he tried to memorise every movement, Bad wasn’t home very often, he had school and other things to deal with, so Dream was left to be the biggest brother most of the time. 

When he was little, he would have jumped at the chance to be in charge! It meant he was strong and trustworthy but recently, despite his confident facade, he did find himself getting worried a lot. Being the oldest meant knowing what to do when everyone else was scared, it meant being the bravest! And while he did have to admit he was a natural born leader, he didn’t always feel prepared. People were unpredictable and it scared him a little that it was his responsibility to judge them now. 

“Look” Bad sighed as he listened to his two youngest brothers rant on and on about how mean their ‘rivals’ were; as much as he hated to see them all upset and bothered like this, he was sure something must have happened to cause such a big feud. Kids don’t just fight for the sake of fighting right? When he was their age, he, skeppy and their other friend used to just prank people and play random games together. Maybe they did play fight, he couldn’t really remember..

“Are you sure that nothing happened to provoke them? I believe you muffin heads but maybe try to talk to them about sharing the park next time? Not everything has to be a war y’know……. And keep the gauze on this time! The doctor said you can’t leave it open until it’s fully healed. If you think those boys are actually dangerous I can go talk to their parents while you're gone, stay away from them though okay? I don’t want any more bumps or scratches.” 

As the boys all scrambled to grab their things before running out the door, they each gave Bad a hug, letting him know they’d call if they would be out late. The summer air lingered with an overwhelming feeling of comfort and familiarity as the three kids walked down the street, they hadn’t lived here long at all but they’d already made a name for themselves; they had even already made a group of enemies on the same street as them. This would be fun. 

Walking around in a thick green hoodie and a mask was proving to be more of a challenge that he had initially anticipated though, he wasn’t sure what kind of hell they had moved into but summer was so much more than summer. It was thick thick air, beads of sweat, and absolute torture. He felt his breath fog up and condensate his mask, leaving a coating of wet breath along the inside of the plasticy surface. It was disgusting but he’d rather pass out through heat exhaustion than take it off. Taking off the jumper was fine though, he did need to take extra care when pulling it off though since he couldn’t risk accidentally flashing his face.

Dream had always enjoyed the more violent games, he was an athletic boy, the most athletic out of all his brothers, and he loved trying to see if they could track him down or catch him. This usually ended up being games of hide and seek or bulldog that got taken too far, the scar on the cheek hadn’t been a big deal for them since they were so used to playing in such a rough manner. To them, this was all a game. They’d have a big war over the den but at the end of the day they’d still be friends, if he was being honest Dream was glad he had found other boys who liked the same kind of games as they did! 

His brother’s were fun but they were getting predictable, he knew how they’d react. He wanted new people to play with! He wanted the chance to team up with George and Sapnap and fight as one. 

This would be fun. They needed a plan though. 

“I think.. I think we need to prove that we deserve to hang out there too. There’s absolutely no reason why a little kid should be allowed there but we can't!” Balling his fist up and hitting it directly into the palm of his hand as he tried to think, Dream led the group in the direction of the woods. 

“Wilbur thinks he can talk about what they want as if we don’t exist! I say we declare war on L’manburg! Who are they to say where we can and cannot go!”

Sapnap, the youngest of the three but not by much -certainly not as big of an age gap as the sleepy boys had- had yelled out, waving his toy wooden sword around in mock anger. Really, he was a little upset about not being allowed into the park but it would be so much more fulfilling once they had earned their passage into it. 

Dream glanced at his brother and chuckled, George was holding a toy axe as well, himself having a nerf crossbow, which he had saved up all of his pocket money for a whole month to buy. After doing so many dishes to get the extra cash, he was absolutely going to try it out. 

“Dream you’re good at running, I’d say you should snipe them from behind a bush with your crossbow and when they’re weak you run in there. While they’re distracted George and I can charge in from another point. We shouldn’t attack today, George is still wounded and we aren’t prepared. Let’s just scope the scene and find an alternative entrance”

Admittedly, Dream had a tendency to underestimate his brothers. This was proof enough that Sap could be smart though, it would be an objectively bad idea to attack while they were weakened and the enemy was strong. They only had their ‘weapons’ to defend themselves with, in case the sleepy boys started throwing rocks again. 

In fact, he was still quite surprised that Wilbur even had thrown the rock. He had expected him to be an easy target, he was carrying a guitar around and he was so tall, Dream could definitely push him over if he wanted to play dirty. While it wasn’t ideal they had a tough enemy, he would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t intrigued to see what would happen next.

Yes, this game was going to be very fun. 

----

“Okay everyone!” 

Phil called out, his three brothers all sat on a half-rubble brick wall. 

“So we all know that we’ve already had two people get hurt inside the L’manburg walls. Obviously nobody wanted this to happen, whether it was from losing your temper or just not paying attention to your surroundings, we need to do something about it” Phil clapped his hands together, he knew them well, if he made this into something fun they might actually take his advice. 

“L’manburg is not just a hang out spot, it’s not just a theme park either! It is our great nation! And, like every great nation, we need laws and rulers to keep us safe!”

Looking around, he saw how their faces perked up, even Techno, who didn’t usually enjoy roleplaying, seemed excited. It was a nice change, especially things were starting to get mundane, considering there wasn’t much of the park left unexplored -Wil had expressed a desire to want to check out the swampy area but Phil immediately shut down that idea, telling him that even if Wil ended up okay, Tommy would copy him and without a doubt get hurt.

“Wilbur will be your president, while I’m not here he’s going to keep you safe and make any tough decisions. Tommy, you will be the vice president” he had to keep himself from saying this role was just to keep the boy from getting upset at not being chosen for anything cool. 

“Tommy, this is very important, do you think you can handle it?” 

The young boy nodded excitedly, bouncing a little where he was sitting. 

“Okay, Tommy you need to help Wilbur make all the important decisions, and when anybody wants to join L’manburg you need to get Wilbur and then you can be in charge of making them go away” As silly as it was, at least he could trust Tommy to not throw rocks if he was told not to. 

“Finally Techno,”

“Oh my god, me too?” The teen chuckled 

“Of course, we need our warrior! Where would we be without our brave fighter!”

“Ah yes, the warrior. Tommy, I eagerly await your command. I’m so ready to fight people” Techno pulled his hair back, tying it at the back in a low ponytail as some small wisps framed his face. It was beautiful, everyone seemed to agree on that -unless they were overly masculine teenage boys- but Techno would kill anyone who dared say so in an instance.

He seemed to be stifling a little laugh, he was never into acting or theatre like his brothers were, while he was little he always preferred playing strategy games rather than make believe ones. That being said, he still loved seeing them happy and even though he doubted he would be doing it nearly as much as they would, he’d make an effort to play along.

The grin that shot across Tommy’s face was reason enough to roleplay, just a bit. 

“Okay okay so we need laws too! Wilbur, as the president, has already prepared a list” 

Phil sat down on the wall, it was cold and uncomfortable but against the humid air mixed with the slight smell of mildew from the slowly rotting park, it was nice. Last night, he had stayed up late with Wilbur, talking about this idea. If they gave Tommy a new place to hang out inside the park and called it the White house, he’d surely play there instead of doing whatever it is he does on the coasters. 

It still made Phil a little dizzy to think that they had been letting Tommy climb unsupervised while he wasn’t here, hopefully he had the mind to not go too high but knowing his brother, he would have taken the chance to climb higher. 

Wilbur cleared his throat as he got a piece of paper out of his pocket. 

“Dear citizens of L’manburg” 

Tommy giggled, which made Wilbur give him a little smile before he carried on with his speech.

“We will be a peaceful nation! I intend to rule this land without the need for any more people getting hurt. Any kind of weaponry, including collected rocks, are strictly prohibited inside L’manburg, the only instance in which we fight is if we are under attack! My fellow Sleepy boys, too much blood has been shed on this land, I hope you will all stand with me while I strive to steer this great nation in the direction of being more loving and accepting of our neighbours.” 

Phil chuckled as he watched his brothers, they all seemed so happy, most importantly though, they would finally have a reason to be more careful.

Hopefully nobody else would get hurt.

[gone-to-fight-the-fairies]

13. 18. 43. and 48. I chose safer ones because I don't want to be too nosy or weird.

And I really appreciate that! (But those are not two words I would ever use to describe you) :D

13. Life goal: I literally just want to move!!! It’s been on my mind everyday for months. The house we put an offer on accepted the another offer and I’m devastated. But I know I did the best I could, and there’s another house I’ve found to investigate, so it might have happened for a reason. (small rant, sry)

18. Phobia: ??? I don’t think I actually have any.

43. Have you ever been arrested?

You caught me, I’m currently writing this in my designated cell on my contraband phone. Wait, the guard’s comin-

Actual answer, nope.

48. Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

In college, never; I find that always worth going to. Middle school and high school, at least once every few months. And the best part, I often had a parent signing me out for that purpose. Because they know, public school sucks!

Thank you thank you! I love hearing from you! Hope you’re well!

Get In My Business

[mintybunnytron]

2020.11.25

Granny and my late aunt Hanh sent me a Christmas present one year. Toxic mother told me it was a photo album with pics of me granny and Hanh taken with mother and father’s camera that granny had me provide her from their room.

At the time I was angry. I had cut off everyone on fathers side except for mother. I was angry and further fueled by mother story about how they manipulated me into taking the camera from her Nd father bedroom and then gramma would never give the camera back.

I held onto to unwrapped album for years. It was with me forgotten in a drawer when I moved to LA with my ex. It came with me to Kim’s when I left that fker. Then it lived in my car trunk.

Then I had to move out of Kim’s so I had to clear the trunk to make space to move. That’s came across it.

I was filled with anger and sadness every time I saw the package.

I’d always fantasized about how to return it unopened and the hurt it would cause. Just to be vengeful. I could mail it back. I could drive to granny’s house and place it in the mailbox or throw it in the yard. Throwing it in the yard was my favorite.

The wrapping paper had seen some wear and oil stains at this point. I thought it would hurt them to see it discarded.

But it was too much for me. I always dream of revenge but I can never carry it out. I’m empathy points.... I’m not the least bit interested in hurting anyone. And with revenge.... I most definitely hurt myself in the end.

I don’t think my sister gets it when I say shitty things about them and follow up with a that’s fucked up fo me to say that. Yes the ducked up statements are true. But I feel the need to say it’s fcked up aNd feel guilty about saying it the fked up statements about them because deep down I’m a softie and care about these people who have all hurt me like hell.

But anyways I didn’t want to have the album burning a hole in my car anymore. I think I’m a fit of anger and Marie Kondo this does not spark joy So I threw it away in a trash can outside work. I didn’t want to carry it anymore.

Now I know that was wrong. It felt better than the vengeful versions i he thought of. It I still ended up hurting myself throwing it away. I should have kept it. Or given it to someone I trust for safekeeping.

Now that she’s dead I feel regret. And I hate it. Regret is useless. It’s too late. It already happenned. Move the fuck on and stop dwelling on it. It’s fking annoying hearing about regret.

I’d blamed everything that was wrong with our nuclear family on granny. And partly on Hanh since a the favorite she’d benefited from not challenging granny. It’s likely she want being manipulative and just really loved granny and sided with her big brother and granny. Idk.

I’m hard and angry and say things like everyone on fathers side are terrible evil people and I need to cut them off. Even the ones that aren’t terrible evil I have a hard time trusting because they’re still in it and I don’t trust their motives having been hurt by them before. Still in the abusive environment.

But now that Hanh is dead, I see things differently.

This isn’t granny’s fault at all. She never really left the house when she came here. Never worked real jobs here in America. She knows nothing of what it’s really like to live and work here.

Why the fuck did my mommas boy father have to listen to her. She knows nothing of the struggles of working and raising your children within American culture and rules.

Why the fuck did he not stand up to her and defend mom when HIS ENTIRE FAMILY wa fretting mother like shit?

Instead, avoidance measures. Everyone treated mom like shot and she never divorced his dumb ass. Things have gotten so bad both children don’t hVe a good relationship with mother and father. Despite the emotions abuse and manipulation and control, mother never leaves.

Which leads me to believe she likes this. She’s chosen this life. She’s chosen a bit house and a comfortable bed over her children. The trade is woth it to her.

I hate them both so much. Which translates to I love these fkers but they’re trash and fking hurtful.

Now I’m just....I’m more angry. I threw away that album because the what pushed me over the edge was mother’s story about how Granny had me steal away the camera and never gave it back.

These two fkers - my birth mother and father - didn’t take care of shit in their relationship. Mommas boy and superficial keeping up with the Jones more important than her children garbage ass parents. You two fked up everything.

I regret that I threw away the album. She’s dead and I have no pictures of her. No pictures of us. I have a stupid creepily photoshopped picture of her on the funeral program. Terrible photoshop. She looks so thin. It makes me cry.

I miss my aunt so much. You always think you’ll have more time. I cut her off because of my mother and father were just too toxic to be around. Too toxic that I couldn’t be around anyone in their circle.

And now this. Hanh is gone. Never coming back. Pancreatic cancer. It was fast.I have no pictures of me and the woman who at one point was my third parent, my roommate at 3 years old, my mentor for a bit. She always took us out and spoiled us. And derpy games for our family parties. Still gifts. Always kind and always nice and happy.

And she’s gone forever. I hadn’t seen her since at least 2014 or 2015. The last time was the tet before grandpa’s 80yh birthday.

At the end of the day I can blame father and mother but I won’t do me any good. Yea they’re both trash. But similarly to how father is an adult and he doesn’t have to be a manage mommas a boy and take granny’s advice word for word, I too am an adult.

I stayed away because I didn’t want to deal with any of those fkers related to father because for the most part they’re all evil assholes. But that’s for the most part. There are some good people there.

And one of them has already died.

I don’t want to let things sry like this as more people die. I missed out on Hanh. I don’t wanna miss our on granny or grandpa or David or Kevin. I really don’t.thw rest I can do without. But those 4.... grandpas 80th was 5-6 years ago. Thy means he’s even more old now.

I can’t miss out on them just because my father is a dick.

Idk. I have visceral feelings of panic and anger when it comes to even text communication from ANY OF THEM. So it’s going to be hard. But I have to. I cannot take anymore premature deaths. Co Hanh wa unexpected AF. Gramma and grandpa are old AF.

I guess let’s get my health together first. But I do want to see them eventually. Hopefully my surgery next month will go well.

I wanna shoot for maybe a June 2021 deadline to reach out and see each there or have lunch or something. I’d like it to be sooner but idk what’s gonna happen with my health. I don’t wanna be around these people with shot health.

I still need to visit her grave. It’s in rose hills. Pretty far. The last time I drove to that area and back I wanted to die on the way home so...Here’s to taking things one day at a time. And here’s to my health.

God fking damn. I know I ranted and repeated myself. It’s just....things I’ve been thinking.

[succulentsstars]

heyo you know how everyone in the phandom keeps trying to prove dip n pip are gonna get married soon, i don't think they will because i was rewatching their sims series (episode 9) and about 8 mins in, danyul calls phil 'mr marriage is only a piece of paper' aka phillip doesn't think marriage is important so i don't think they'd bother. can i get yo opinion plz many thanks!! ps i feckin love ur youtube channel :)

Aww thanks I’m glad you like my YouTube channel! Yes I do remember Phil saying this (and thinking it’s interesting Dan would point it out that way on the gaming channel). Most of what I do on my channel is just general speculation based on recent events- as someone who is fairly busy, I don’t know enough about Dan and Phil/plan to know enough to be able to take all the little things into context for every theory. My video theories aren’t aiming for complete accuracy- they are just aiming to try to understand what’s going on better. (Lol I’m not really making sense)Let me try to explain in an example. In August, I had a theory that D+P were getting married bc they weren’t going to SitC. I had a few good reasons (ie: bunch of YouTube friends in town already) but I hadn’t really looked into context of how much sense it would make for them to make that big decision right then- but there was still that chance that they were getting married...Ok so back to point. Phil saying marriage is just a piece of paper. In my opinion, that interaction with him and Dan is one of the most interesting- especially for that time. I wasn’t in the Phandom at that time so correct me if I’m wrong- but Phil had never really brought up that opinion on the internet before. He and Dan obviously had this conversation off camera/in private. (Again, correct me if I’m wrong on this) But Dan and Phil tend to keep their private conversations separate from the internet, especially back then. In their live shows they’ll talk about the basics of what they’re doing and their own opinions on things, but they don’t often talk about deep(ish) conversations they’ve had with each other. (I don’t see any reason to read into this too much- they’re best friends so they definitely go more in depth than with anyone else so I definitely get why they don’t want to share those deep things- it’s personal) So my question is- why would Dan say this on camera? He’s saying it in a (loving but) mocking tone- so he obviously disagrees with Phil on this. They probably had a lively conversation about it or possibly more. But to me, I️ honestly don’t think this is too big of a deal for either of them. It’s a topic lighthearted enough to joke about in front of their over-analyzing audience (yes, hi that’s me). I don’t think Phil is really deeply anti-marriage. He probably just ranted to Dan about it and Dan got all sappy about marriage and they had a little domestic-y argument. They joked about it on the gaming channel so in my opinion, it’s more of a joke between them then an actual hardcore opinion. I think Phil is ok with the idea of marriage- he just thinks our society has hyped it up too much to make it seem like it makes such a life changing difference when it really is just a piece of paper.I don’t think that means he never wants to get married though. He’s talked about getting married someday in past live shows, and he seemed to really enjoy building Dil and Tab’s wedding. Dan just values physically getting married more than Phil does.As for them getting married in the near future- though it made sense a few months ago, with ii planning and touring it doesn’t make sense for like the next year. But after that... I mean forever home and dog to share... that spells out commitment. Honestly, idk exactly how their opinions will cause their future to play out. The idea of a wedding is appealing, but it is a TON of stress that they may just not want to go through to sign a paper. Whatever happens, I feel in my demon phan soul they’ll be together for a very long time. (Sry this response sucks I’m in a hotel room and both my parents are snoring sooo loudly and I️ can’t focus)

[ibs-amongstotherthings]

Home

I am home!!! My flights were fine, nothing exceptional. My 2nd flight (Dublin to DC) was delayed 2 hours, which meant I had to get off the plane, through passport control, through security, and across the airport to my next gate in under 30 minutes. Thankfully my 2nd flight was delayed by 15 minutes because I barely made it. But made it I did. And I upgraded myself to first class because yanno, treat yo self. My stomach did start to hurt a tiny bit during the long flight, but it went away after about an hour. That was pretty much it, though. A pretty uneventful day.

BUT I have officially moved out of Liverpool. It is my favorite city in the world and I’ll miss it so much, but I’ll be back in like a year or two. Moving out and dealing with getting rid of all my stuff on my own was hard. I actually started packing about a month ago just getting rid of stuff, but the majority of it all happened this past week. To backtrack a little bit, on Wednesday I had planned to take like 4 heavy boxes to the charity shop in the morning (I was gone all afternoon), but the lift in my flat was broken and those boxes were way too heavy to get down 6 flights of stairs. So that didn’t happen. And on Thursday I had my taxi to Manchester at 4pm and with cleaning and all that I didn’t have time to get the boxes to the charity shop so I convinced my building reception to let me leave it in the basement so people can go take whatever they wanted. It was all homeware and kitchen stuff. I’m talking a full set of nice dishes, a juicer, a blender, a sauce pan, lots of stuff I didn’t wanna just throw away.

Today (Saturday) was my first full day back. I made 2 Target runs, unpacked a bit, watched lots of Food Network, and got a lil crafty. I’ll mention that in a bit, but at Target I decided when I turn 23 in 4 days this will finally be the year I stick to taking vitamins every day, so I got some gummy ones because I’m an adult. I took the 2 that the bottle said to take and within like an hour my GI tract was really not happy with me. So I guess tomorrow I’m gonna try just taking one and see what happens? I don’t really know what it means or what to do if my body suddenly doesn’t like vitamins?

But on to the crafts, Target has the best fall and Halloween decor. In the dollar aisle (whatever that’s called now) there were these window frames with plastic, I guess to decorate to make spooky? I’m not sure what they were intending for this, but I got 2 and made them into picture frames. Since I’ve actually moved home, I wanted to personalize my room a little more with some photos. My goal was to include at least one photo from every country I’ve been to in the past 4 years. Turns out thats kind of a lot. I filled up 2 window things, and could definitely use a third, and also wall hangings tend to look better in threes to me anyways. 

These photos include the US (Colorado and Nashville), UK (Liverpool, Bath, Inverness, Stonehenge, and Edinburgh), Italy (Cinque Terre and Florence), Russia (St. Petersburg), Portugal (Faro), Bulgaria (Nessebar), Denmark (Copenhagen), and Spain (Barcelona). I kinda made a real effort to not include photos of London. I’m pretty salty about when people only visit the one big city in a country and then think they’ve seen the whole country (i.e. when people tell me they went to London once and just love the British life, or whatever. And the other way around, when British people would tell me they went to Orlando and couldn’t believe the portion sizes at Disney and that Americans eat like that, as if the entire country is just like that). So I figured London didn’t need more attention. Sorry for the mini rant. I just really feel like especially in small countries like the UK, people should really consider doing a day trip or two to other cities or regions. Liverpool is a whole other world from London (and 90000x better, sry). 

So what’s next? The next few days will be unpacking and organizing, the Jonas Brothers show, packing for a conference, and going to said conference, and hopefully hearing back from places I’ve interviewed with recently. After that, who knows.

[somniiaris-archive-blog]

i’ve had this account for almost five months now and all i want to say is thank you. i made great friends here, i met people from whom i’ve learnt a lot of things and understood that there is nothing more beautiful than creating and that there is nothing wrong with asking for help and letting them know when something is wrong. all of you have made this experience soul touching. you’ve all helped me develop kristoph and connect to him.  under the cut there are special thank you’s to the people whom i hold dearly to my heart & mentions of the ones that i admire and love seeing on the dasboard.  ( aka ari gets emotional )

@healglow  / @sagacit  /  + 100000 other blogs u have  ✦  kaitlyn !!  i am so happy that i chose to message you that day because you’ve become such a good, close friend to me. i don’t think i would have gotten this far in developing kristoph if you weren’t here. i never expected us to get along so well and become so close, sweet bro. i love you and you’re so so so very special to me, i can’t put it into words. you deserve all the good things in life happening to you and you’re such a good, sweet person and i will fite u to prove it. also i love ur 5 cats too.

@ofregicide    ✦   mi lov, mi heart, mi soul and stars !!!  andrew , i think you already know how much i love u  (&ur dog).  i hope u know that i can’t wait to meet you someday soon, in real life, and just do all the things we want to do. i can’t remember when i got so close to you but talking and trusting you comes so easy? you are so important to me and i don’t know where i would be today if u weren’t there for me. i don’t know what i would have done without your memes or your deep headcanons or your rants and idk.... you’re a miracle in my life man this is getting gay.

@ssanis    ✦   ok, u meme factory, lets get started. you’re so CHILL and LOVELY and it’s so easy to talk to you!! you’re a great writer & great artist. i love your passion for cal and that you make him feel so real !  i’m happy i have someone to nerd out with and just go on hours-long rants about school, life, rp, memes, games, ships and ocs. i love you so much, nadz!!

@atrocit / @reveuret    ✦   mara, mara, my sweet meme. you were the one to approach me first and i honestly thank you so much for that because my life would be empty without your memes and your amazing writing. i know we don’t talk much because we’re both busy with school and life but i’m always thinking about you and wondering if you’re good ! our friendship is built on memes and i think that’s beautiful.

@sunbruise & @theftcut    ✦    both of you are like, the sweetest angels? i don’t make the rules sry ! thank you for putting up with me and for giving me all sorts of advice and for being my friends. the groupchat is always Lit with memes or angst and i’d like to thank the both of u for breaking my heart then sewing it back together. i have so much respect and love for the both of you !!

@losesbets    ✦   auggie ! i know we don’t talk much but i feel like we get along good !! you’re sweet and funny , your writing is gorgeous (like u) and your sonic x memes are Lit. i can’t wait to write & talk more to you !

@witherie & @deaur     ✦    i look up to the both of you and aspire to be a good writer like you. lea, i can’t wait to write with you and develop our sweet babies more because i love every little thing about them !  sokkie , you’re the Real Meme and i said it , will say it and keep saying it : your writing is so melodic , so beautiful , it touches the soul !  

@horoscopias     ✦    gabi!! you’re such a good writer and i hope you know that. your characters have always clicked with mine and you’ll have to excuse me for #sucking at replying to long threads but know that i am always pumped about them all !! <3 

&   here are the people who i love seeing on the dash and hope i can interact with them soon :

@battleust   ✦  @sacredhunt   ✦  @exproelio   ✦  @existench   ✦  @godseer   ✦  @diviue   ✦  @victoroius   ✦  @todrain   ✦   @volchista   ✦   @krigsbein   ✦    @cruelmyth   ✦  @parrun   ✦  @lightlorn   ✦  @ensavaged   ✦  @veracitic   ✦  @erbxs   ✦  @blckvcnom   ✦  @halfhell   ✦  + many more others that i may have forgotten but i love all of you <3

[freshqueens]

November 8 (part 2), 2018

Timestamp 6:06 p.m. Yes this is a second entry and this is why:

Dear N (Part 3),

This is the third letter i’ve written to you. Many times i’ve thought about sending one of them to you, but I thought better of it. I try to talk to you every time I think about you, but you don’t do the same because you never think about me. I hit you up today, trying to see how your day was and yes you responded like you normally do, blunt and short. You proceeded to ask me what I did today, because of the awkward school schedule, and I told you. I then asked you the same question back, and you tell me that you were going to invite some random ass girl you met at the mall over your house, and do whoever knows what. I shouldn’t be getting this upset over it, but you knew damn well how I used to feel towards you. That is one of the most insensitive things you could’ve ever said to me, but instead I said, “Oh i’m sorry”. Why?! I can’t tell you why, because I don’t know why my damn self. You single handedly, made me feel like the most important person to you, and now over some months of us not talking, you forgot about me. You forgot to ask me how i’ve been, you’ve forgotten to be nice to me… you’ve forgotten how to love me. I then ask you “Do you want to talk about anything?” Practically begging you, inviting you, to talk to me. You said you were bored earlier so I thought, with that damn hope you always give me, maybe I can cheer him up, maybe I can entertain him. But yet, you responded with, “no not rly sry i’m not in a good mood.” I was trying to put you into a good mood for fucks sake, I was trying to start a conversation with you. I was trying to get my best friend back. But like the other three friendships i’ve lost, I probably won’t ever get you back. I won’t ever get to feel the way I did during school and most of summer. When I was ranting to you, I felt annoying but needed. Loved even. But now it’s like a fucking dagger slowly making its way through my heart every time you send me something and it’s… nothing. Like my other friendships that didn’t work out, I don’t know if this one can be saved. It hurts to try to stay with you. Did It hurt you when I left? If so why didn’t you say anything? GOD DAMMIT WHY DIDN’T YOU BEG ME TO STAY?! YOU KNOW I WOULD HAVE BECAUSE IT’S YOU..Why is it that every time I love something, it escapes… and it runs as if it was trapped by me. Out of all the lies you’ve told me, “I love you” has got to be my favorite...sadly i’ll forever be attached to you.

Cunningly, Daisy

[letstrytogetfitiguess]

Random Rant, sry

It's weird to think that ana never really left. It was always there in the back of my mind since it started. It started with my parents. The "you shouldnt eat that", "do you really need that?", "youre gonna eat all that??", "youre clothes are getting tight, yikes"... It began as a little voice. The "you're so fat", when i looked in thw mirror, when i looked at all the prettier popular girls who got a figure with puberty. And i just got ? Fatter ? It started as a "health kick" around 8th grade, eating healthier (or trying to) and going to the gym. It left for a while. I felt a little better. Then tennis came. And I was the fattest girl on the team. I could feel my legs and arms jiggle every time i ran. I could feel the stares, hear the whispers and laughing. Coach never put me in. Thank god because I wouldve died from embarrassment at that point. Boys were complicated. All the "you'd be really pretty if you lost some weight" and the "youre really nice" and avoiding comments on appearance altogether. Junior year i ate less. Skipped lunch some days, sometimes just had a light snack. Senior year was better. I was on track, had a boyfriend. But thw voice was still there, every time i thought about myself. College was hell because i binged. All. The. Time. I gained so much weight. This last year I started dieting again. I hate myself so much. I lost 20lbs in a month then gained it right back. And now I'm just ? Getting better at it? Like the voice is worse than ever, but now I can get it to go away if I restrict under 300cal or just don't eat. I feel even better after a workout. I know it's unhealthy but I just feel so much better giving into it. It's progressed so far and now that I'm all in I just feel like I'm getting lighter as the nausea and dizziness passes. I feel good. Still hate myself, but I'm down 20lbs again and keeping it off. I'm at a plateau now, but after I fast this week I know it'll keep going down again. I just want to see the numbers get lower. I feel so good about myself when I wake up to a lower weight. And at this point, I feel like there's no harm because I literally have enough fat to last me at least a month and a half. So I can just keep on losing. And as long as I get to my gw I don't think it really matters how I get there? I'll just eat healthy when I get there. But that's a while off (hopefully not too long though). 🤞🤞

[thanhxuannie]

Why is Eunhyuk so cute? And why is Donghae feat. kids the most beautiful thing ever?

my friend that is a good question ??

honestly this instavid of donghae bullying that poor little kid messed me up ?? thats just not done????? literally who does donghae think he is, being so rude to a small innocent little girl , stealing her strawberries and making her cRY ??? how can he do that and be literally. the cutest man on earth E V E R. have you seen his smile??? he just looks so happy and hes laughing so loud , and seowon is CRYING but hahahaha no lets eat her strawberry, because hey!! ykno what !!! my name is lee donghae, thirty years of age, professional rude puppy

no really donghae looked so adorable and at ease with these kids, and my heart teared up a bit in my chest , it was pAINFUL . he’s such a BRAT he’s a complete asshole but gosh this makes me love him so so so so much ????? i bet hes gna b like this with his own kids later, literally he will be like hahaha guess who i bought the xbox for NOT YOU MOTHERCKR dad’s gna achieve a fifa marathon WITHOUT YOU, and his kids will be so outraged and scandalized, seowon was literally the perfect representation of how id have reacted, and just thinking about it makes me wanna cry, bc ??? that sounds like the perfect family that donghae would want to have, idk this just gives me Feels man

and um excuse you don’t EVEn get me started on hyukjae??? because my pal i have Opinions and if u aint gna stop me, i will literally keep on ranting about how PERFECT he is until basically 5ever. he’s the cutest man ever i can’t believe we’re so luck y to have him??? hes so kind and his heart is literally so huge, he loves so much and gives his all to everything that he does, and i just can’t believe how brave he is? if i had to go through all the stuff he had to go through , id have broken down and wailed and maybe died a little, but no?? look at him ??? ploughing through it like a fckng boss, gosh i can’t believe this boi ??????

and ahhhh have you seen all of the vids of his perfs in the army he looks so dAMN GOOD im just so glad he ‘s doing so well, i hope he stays healthy and happy and hey its only seven months left!!!!!!!!! thats like. nothing, right. me: [[sobs in a corner]]. also the vcr of him and shindong meeting leeteuk, oh SHIT, i felt like i was gna DIE bc i was so HAPPY to see him but also EMBARRASSEd look at him acting SO SHY and still being a compelte huge DORK , who the fuck told him it was ok ????? certainly not ME. literally every time im sad or down or smth i just ????? google hyukjae and look at him laugh and just generally being the kind little cupcake that he’s always been and hey!!! look at me!!!!! the sun is shining rainbows are appearing in the sky little birds are chirping the sky is pink life is beautiful

im so sry this got out of hand, my punctuation for this is literally the worst HAHAHAH pls take this as a representation of how wonderfully messed up these two assholes make me LMAO

thanks for the ask!!!!!!!!!!!! come at me again whenever BRO