#why did they have to suffer so much!
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I hate that part of Naruto when I'm watching Itachi's truth reveal, the flashbacks at the end, his last words, with a soft, gentle smile - and I'm bawling exactly like Sasuke does.
#uchiha sasuke#sasuke#sasuke uchiha#itachi uchiha#itachi#uchiha itachi#damn it hurts#i have more to write on that scene which is what i'm going to do next#but i needed to vent this out first#i swore i wasn't going to cry#but here we are#😭😭😭💔💔💔#why did they have to suffer so much!#i'll NEVER forgive Kishimoto for what he did to them#mine
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twelfth night main plot: haha bisexual love triangle that is gay in both directions! haha mistaken identity and gender fuckery haha
malvolio side plot:
#twelfth night#ws#i did not feel this strongly abt him before but now that ive listened to dt malvolio.#And esp how he plays him in 4.2#ajnd it's like guys. guys! i need to turn into a fish and swim to sea and never return#NUMBER ONE MALVOLIO APOLOGIST#I AM SORRY. SORRYYYYYYY#WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DO THAT TO HIM ALL HE DID WAS BE A LOSER AND A KILLJOY#AND MAYBE HE RUINED FABIAN'S RELATIONSHIP AND THREW THE CAPTAIN IN JAIL AT SOME POINT IDK#WHY DO THE RICH FUCKS GET SO MUCH PLEASURE PUTTING THIS MAN IN THE SAW TRAP CAN THEYYYYY BE PUT IN THE SAW TRAP#JUST TO SEE HOW IT FEELS#IS IT HIS FAULT HE LIKES IMAGINING THAT PEOPLE LIKE HIM IM SO HEARTBROKEN MAN#pain and suffering and darkness#ik there is some meta someone has written sometime someplace abt him being neurodivergent but im not going to go digging for it rn
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The Average Alfred Pennyworth Portrayal: *is Bruce Wayne's capable and somewhat cryptic butler*
Gotham!Alfred Pennyworth: *threatens an 11 years old boy to eat his dinner proper because if he doesn't he'll be too light in weight by the morning and the Balloonman will come for him and will tie him to a balloon and send him to the skies to die because he's rich and corrupt and forever guilty*
#not to be dramatic on main but i'd die for Gotham!Alfred he's clinically insane#and he's exactly what Bruce needs they're so fucking toxic together (most affectionate)#like you look at Gotham!Alfred#and suddenly it's very understandable why baby Bruce turned into a bucket of feral ferrets the way he did#god i love them both so much they's so!!!!!#they grapple with each other and have their teeth sunken into the back of each others' necks so deep and it's pure affection and love#and it's honest and trusting but it's not kind#fucking delicious dynamic Gotham's Alfred&Bruce saved me actually#they're sewn together by the spine and they both suffer for it#alfred pennyworth#Bruce Wayne#Gotham#Gotham TV
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ethan desrved so much betterrr ususghhshshsdaaaa
#ethan winters#rose winters#rosemary winters#resident evil 8#resident evil village#re8#rebhfun#resident evil#resident evil fanart#he would have been the best dad ever :(#he really went through all of that just to kill himself in the end#the last time he ever held rose was when he had to give her away to someone else#this is why i draw ethan in so many domestic scenarios#im trying to cope#he needs a nap#someone tuck him in#hed have nightmares nvm#why did this normal guy have to suffer so muchhhh 😭#software engineer kills like 15+ bioweapons BSAA soldiers left flaberghasted#i will forever be salty about the fact that ethan was let down by the people he loved and they were the reason he suffered so much#mia and chris had their intentions but it doesnt matter because their executions got ethan killed anyways#ITS TRUE!#u can say mia loved him and chris was just worried but it wont change the end result#ethan still dies in the end#(not to say that they didnt care about ethan#they just sucked at handling things)#long tags#ooops
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thinking about gojo again..
#sttoru chats.#gege omuhoddnkdm#WHY DID HE HAVE TO SUFFER SO MUCH#sometimes i randomly think about gojo and get sad#like ik hes just a character but#HIS CHARACTER HITS DIFFFFF#im a big crybaby omg ☹️ i cry about anything and everything SO U CANT BLAME ME
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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OC !
#my characters#i missed her so much wowee#her name is katale and thats what she goes by EXCEPT her best friend (and ex boyfriend and boss) who gets to call her kitty#hes just like the all around best guy in her life and she loves him a whole lot#and even though they broke up they have a very loving friendship and shes like#oh i would absolutely kill for him and in fact i am VERY good at killing im honing my skills :3#and her family is actually just a bunch of criminals and the only reason the other guy gets involved#is bc he needs fast money to help his mom with hospital bills and so hes like hey my mom doesnt need to know how shes alive#and then he somehow becomes head honcho and is a rumored to be ruthless man#but hes just incredibly level headed and able to think his way up (and kills a few unpleasant family members for kitty)#and if shes running out and about you can even hear him say shit like#my wife left me i miss my wife#and everyone knows he means katale but no one knows how to react bc its clearly a joke (???) since they broke up#but no one is telling their boss to elaborate the wife situation#kitty however is the entire reason that she gets this lil puppy of an agent to not kill rudyard her dear boss#and somehow they adopt this grown man and also his really weird mentor who faked their death#but they love their puppy son boy agent man#and kitty is super happy to dote on the agent but even she has her lines like WHY DID YOU JUST HAND HIM A GUN#RUDYARD HE TRIED TO KILL YOU LIKE LAST MONTH WHAT ARE YOU DOING#and rudyard is just ??? can i NOT shove a gun into his hands now? what is that? a crime? really? gonna tell on me? a criminal? for crimes?#but genuinely it stresses her out bc she loves her adopted son but loves her best friend and eventually she realizes#ok puppy agent man is loyal to them but not a criminal thats ok#while rudyard is like ... passing him guns to try out as a bonding thing#but also he is fascinated with how good the agents aim is like hey kitty you should watch how far he can shoot perfectly#hey kitty remember all those dead underlings and how precise their kills were to make them not suffer this guy is really good#also for what its worth ruds mom is still alive! shes just in a nursing home now and he goes to visit her#kitty and rudyard have such a fun dynamic to me and both are murderers but its okay (its not)#also kitty likes anime and she has forced rud to watch anime with her and he just accepts his fate#bc it makes kitty happy to share so he will watch to make her happy even if he doesnt understand all the appeal
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sitting in my little corner of “as much as i love love love prime bros, i also love the idea of nine being a character to fought so hard to get something, anything, and in the end, he got nothing”
i love me a tragic character who fought so hard to get his happy ending but never did because life just wasn’t fair to him
the cards weren’t in his favor and he lost
#graveyardtxt#before marie and brainworms hunt me for sport LISTEN#i need angst as much as i need oxygen#nine being alone in the grim is unfair#but that’s the point#he deserves a happy ending just as the rest of the foxes do#but why doesn’t he get one#why is he the one alone#what did he do wrong that all the other ones did right?#only tails has sonic#but sails and mangey still have families#why didn’t the echidna or bat or rose from his dimension take him in?#why is he the only fox who suffered alone for so long#and is still suffering alone#only this time around he’s also dealing with side effects from using the prism#he fought to get his home. his family. and everyone fought against him#and he was left with nothing but a broken down monument of his darkest hour#why didn’t he get his happy ending when everyone else did?#it’s just not fair#i LOVE tragic characters#anyway if i suddenly go missing please assume either marie or brainworms killed me
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Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".
*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.
*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-
Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-
Arlecchino: Ok.
Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?
Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.
*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*
Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????
Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.
#arlecchino#genshin impact#pierro#WHY IS THE GAME FUCKING GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT SHE IS KHAENRI'AN?!#Not only that but she is the first Khaenri'an we've met (that we know of) who's from the Crimson Moon Dynasty#I'm so fucking confused#Did Celestia place a DIFFERENT curse on members of the Crimson Moon Dynasty?? Or is this stuff all of them can do???#HELP#She also seems almost...uninterested in the fact that she's descended from Khaenri'ah. Which honestly I think is interesting.#I don't know if I like it yet but when every other Khaenri'ah character has one of their major traits being that they super fucking#care that they are Khaenri'an (whether that be Kaeya with his paranoia/destiny/duty or Dain with his guilt over his failure/desire to#prevent our sibling from fucking with anything too much or whatever the fuck is going on with Pierro)#having a character who is Khaenri'an but doesn't seem to particularly be invested in that part of themself is different#she cares more about the curse and its effects on her then she ever really cares about the Crimson Moon Dynasty or the cataclysm#IDK I think it's neat from a character writing angle. or at least it has the potential to be if the writers do a good job.#But from a 'I like maybe 3 things in this game and one of them is Khaenri'ah' perspective it SUCKSSSSS#That part of the plot is already suffering from chronic live-service storytelling disease where people just straight up don't tell you#shit that they logically SHOULD BE TELLING YOU because the game needs to save plot points to build hype around#so for one of like 4-ish (depending on how much we count Albedo) Khaenri'an major characters to give us literally 1 and 1/2 voicelines#kinda sucks ngl. but again it's also interesting and realistic for Arlecchino and from that angle I like it#she doesn't care about what fate says her place in the world is. she's gonna carve her own and being Khaenri'an isn't relevant to#the life and identity she has built for herself. she isn't the type to look for answers she doesn't need. she's practical and efficient.#at the very least it's better than when Albedo 'I want to find all the world's truths' Kreideprinz doesn't let the audience in on his stuff
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Have an itty bitty tiny piece of stasis in darkness, just so you all have an idea of where the story is going after the godly reveal. and also have proof that i am, in fact, still toiling away at this (as well as hawkins halfway house.)
A week and a half later, Steve entered a town he’d never seen before. He wore simple traveling clothes and carried no weapons aside from a couple of carefully hidden knives. He’d left his armor and shield behind. His satchel held only the essentials one needed for travel and a single stone as large as his fist. The stone was wrapped in layers of cloth to keep it safe during the journey.��
I need you to find someone.
He felt very bare but he hadn’t been given much of a choice. Speed was of the essence for his quest, and little no-name towns tended to be wary of strangers in plain clothes, even more so around strangers decked out for battle. Steve wasn’t sure this place could be called a town. It was so small it hadn’t been on any official map. It didn’t even have an inn. Hopefully, Steve wouldn’t be needing an inn once he found who he was looking for.
He’s too far from me to reach.
He asked around, laying on the charm generously. He explained he had been a friend of a friend and had been trusted to deliver something. Eventually, he was told where to go. The house he found far beyond the village’s boundary was small. It looked like it had once been well cared for but it was old and had fallen to disrepair. Steve took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
A sallow old man opened the door. He was bald but had some scruff on his face still. His shoulders, stooped from age, trembled. His eyes were bloodshot. He looked so tired.
He’s my very last worshiper in all the world.
“Wayne Munson?” Steve asked.
“Who wants to know?” The man’s voice was phlegmy and rough. He coughed into the crook of his elbow almost before he could finish speaking.
“I’m Steve. Ser Steve Harrington, pledged to the Lord of Night.”
Wayne’s eyes widened. His grip on the open door weakened and slipped. Steve caught the door before it could hit Wayne.
“He sent me to you,” Steve explained. “May I come in?”
yep, that's it for now. i told you it was small. i'm not even gonna bother with a read-more here.
#trensu tells stories#stasis in darkness#i technically have another 4.5k words written already#but it is very much still a rough draft#it's all clunky chunks of stone with all that i want to happen but has not been carved and smoothed out properly yet#also i have decided to include at least a couple of prayers#because i hate myself apparently and want to make myself suffer#a poet i am not#and i haven't stepped in a church or said prayers in literal decades#well#that's a lie#i did attend ONE mass in that time only because my mom asked me so she wouldn't have to go alone#the priest went off on the queers during his sermon and my mom never asked me to go with her again lol#so i remember none of the prayers#and even if i did#i learned all my prayers in spanish#i have no idea how they go in english#ughhhhhh why do i do these things to myself
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Go play pretend on your own (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Dexter Favin#Coraline#The Beldam#The other side of this coin <3 Call him out but this time make it unfriendly hehe#I talked last time about the daring rescue!! I do love the daring rescue in Coraline AUs ah same thing with the Camp Camp Coraline AU haha#Burst in through the door! Those poor hinges!#It is a bit funny imagining him crawling through the tunnel in a hurry and kicking the doors open all winded haha <3#It's all very serious of course Max needs help! Stuck behind the mirror from disobeying perhaps?#I was pretty hard on him last time that he'd just Immediately give up his soul for cheap tricks but like - would he?#Yes he's reckless and foolish but he's also stubborn and prideful and hates being told what to do so there's that lol#Which does he want more! The high or his freedom to refuse? I could see it going either way#And for Dex's sake I would hope he'd refuse! As if he hasn't suffered enough eye trauma (eventually)#Ough the thought of him starting to say yes and getting one button eye in and then rescinding his yes ouch#Doomed to have one eye no matter where he goes ah 💔#Anyway - Dex!!! Watch I'll make another one with the ideas mentioned here and then talk about more ideas in those tags pft#Since agreeing with him didn't work how about shaming? ''Go away you're no better''#She really is going hard on him like ''What's your angle? You get him back and then what? Will that actually fix anything?''#Very much pulling from Dexter's meetings with Max at the Institute there hhhhhh as if I needed more feelings about it#Eco_Mono did such a beautiful job playing Dex - so much to consider hehe - but there was one question that I can't stop thinking about#''Why would you want him back?'' and Dexter didn't really have much of an answer - he was barely more than a concept at the time!#Having had the opportunity to see his character grow into himself has given me Such brainworms about that question ♥♪���#Very want to explore it <3#In the meanwhile it's fun to pit these two against each other haha what an odd matchup ♪#I've only barely drawn the Beldam before now that I think of it! And I think only in her final metal-spidery form never in her mid form here#She's fun :D And so tall! Dexter finally feeling small for a change haha#Her having to fight adult selfishness would be quite interesting I think - something tinged with but not quite the same as loyalty#She can relate to the possessiveness at least hehe I'm sure he'd appreciate the comparison
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i want to see izzy suffer SO badly, i want to see him hurt, put that man through hell
#nothing brings me greater joy in life than to torment my boy#(and then kiss his little head and wrap him in a blanket......)#s2 arc where my boy gets tortured <3#literally there is nothing better than absolutely destroying him (and then gently nursing him back to health)#fndkdkkd sorry im thinking about him and im going to make it yalls problem <3#sometimes... i want him to have a soft life only...... and sometimes i still want him to have softness in his life but it to be given after#he has suffered SO MUCH. break him down so he can accept love + kindness.....#nyxtalks#ofmd#izzy hands#israel hands#why yes i am IMMEDIATELY using my tone indicator banners to post dumb shit what did u expect from me <3
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So she had a loving relationship with another woman who died and now... she can't let Pin experience that same love because... reasons?
#the loyal pin#i am utterly uninvested tbh#but like what sense did this make#we didn't see any suffering in their love besides the loss#so why does it matter so much?!#at least some period appropriate homophobia would have been fitting
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thrifted a Mr. Tickle enamel pin and it’s now a fixture on the fanny pack I wear as part of my uniform. why am I risking being called out/asked about it? who can say. he just belongs there.
#mr tickle as in the round orange cartoon guy w the long arms#one of many things that had young me 👀 about without knowing why#only in writing this post did it occur to me where he falls at my side/hip afdjdgd#I have so many weird thrift store finds#unrelated but there’s SO much tickling that ends up happening where I work/live#(no I will not elaborate (unless we’re already friends))#I now just feel so detached whenever it does#it is so far away from kink in my mind#ngl I’m kinda suffering and not in the fun way#finn rambles
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On the Twelfth Day of Christmas
12 Geronimos and a tiny little Benji :D
I didn’t think I’d be able to finish it in two days, but here we are :D a little project where I interpreted the artstyle designs of twelve Geronimos in my artstyle :D
We have in order
2000-2005 G
TV show G
my G :3
@skrunklymice’s G
@toastypencils’s G
@2deadkat’s G
@ratonahat’s G
@thisispoggers’s G and Benjamin
@glitchygorge’s G
@agcnt3’s G
@soda-gremlin’s G
and @alloutblue’s G :D
Behold, closeups :D Merry Christmas, Geronimo Stilton fandom
#geronimo stilton#drawing#art#I somehow finished the draft yesterday walking around in a mall and outside on a family outing#all while I didn’t get enough sleep#I dunno what I was on#anyway deadkat’s g is looking at a picture of toasty g’s kornelius#he gets the appeal#agcnt why did you make G so pathetic ratman /affectionate#pog’s benji dropped his koupen-chan plushie so glitchygorge’s g is handing it back haha#my g is prolly telling the og gs that his creator struggled with drawing him specifically for hours for some odd reason#i dunno why drawing him there after having drawn the ogs was a nightmare but it was#i took a break from drawing the piece for over a week because i was struggling so much :’D#thank god i got back to it tho#if i could add more gs i would but my canvas size is already at a3 when it started out as a4#and this is an a3 cut along the long side because i have plans to do the same thing but with theas#will my suffering end#probably not :D#anyway crimmus#christmas#fanart fanart
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[TUVOKTOBER: Day 15] At First Sight. [Patreon | Commissions]
#tuvoktober#excerpt from the novel 'pathways'#tuvok/t'pel#Tuvok#st voyager#st voyager fanart#T'Pel#hey [vibrating from thinking about Tuvok - Vulcan Love & Gender Identity & Sexuality too much] -extends hand- chew through drywall with me#comix page#something about how Tuvok's identity is half T'Pel and has been for decades he's spent DECADES growing with half of him being a person#he's not just deeply in love with but literally IS. He literally literally /IS/ part of T'Pel and his children literally ARE a part of him#the SECOND he sees T'Pel Tuvok says 'Being with her isn't enough I need to BE her. NOW.'#that novel had barely anything about T'Pel in it but I'll forgive them bc what they did have (basically just this) ??? showstopping.#thinks about Tuvok alone on Voyager thinks about the unique and alien suffering#[shuddering breath...]ahgh...[cough]....h ey Tuvok!!! What're your PRONOUNS-#Guy who misses his wife who is also him#gu ys....[sobbing openly] g uys...he's INCOMPLETE without them.....#are you picking up what I'm putting down???#-chokes star trek writers- stop having straight people write alien romance. let insane gay people like me have a turn pleasepleaseplease#bea art tag#[switches out of angst mode for a second] also its SO fucking funny that in this novel's canon Tuvok didn't know about the pon farr until#it happened to him. he literally had NO idea what was going on. His parents didn't tell him. Why?? Don't believe in sexEd???#it really made me laugh. conservative coded...#drawing elaborate Vulcan head....things? headresses? is fun <3#suggestive cw
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