#why couldnt i just be fucking good enough to keep without fucking it up

[drunkndaized]

Back here again

It hates me

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

Tw SH, sucide

[eph3merall]

dealer!chris n innocent!bff!reader who eventually have sex ...

☆ . . . chris is so so sweet <3 gently coaxes you into believing that it's okay. that it wont ruin your guys' friendship at all, even though he knows once he hits he'll want to come right back. he'll be damned if he lets his best friend go fuck some other guy.

☆ . . . chris ends up taking your virginity when hes high. you were slightly tipsy from a few drinks, crawling all over his lap and giggling like some puppy. he couldn't exactly help the hard-on he got, y'know? hes a man. you couldnt blame him.

☆ . . . the two of you were just talking, truthfully. after chris had finally managed to get you to loosen up a little you were so smiley and squirmy, accidentally rubbing against his cock without even realizing. tipsy giggles left your lips every second he said something, his mind feeling all fuzzy and not quite there.

☆ . . . the topic of sex came up. chris isnt sure how, or why. "you've never been fucked?" "no..? s'that a problem?." "no, no.. jus', you're missin' out." chris is chuckling and staring at you like he wants to devour you, and you completely miss it. "m'parents always told me to wait until marriage" and he nearly starts cooing at you with how adorable you sound, tugging you closer as his hands cup your cheeks.

☆ . . . fast forward and he's lazily grinding up against you with his hands planted firmly on your hips to help you roll them against his clothed dick. "ohh, i know.. feels good? huh?" the prettiest little whines are sounding from your lips that have been bitten raw, eyes glancing down to where you repeatedly hump against your best friend. "chris..." his name sounds so good in that whiny tone, said in a low mewl as you grasp at his shoulders.

☆ . . . you dont know fully why you feel like this, all hot and eager for chris to continue helping you rut against him. then again, it isn't all sunshines and rainbows for him either. chris is fighting back the urge to bust in his pants, holding you close and letting your body move slowly on its own.

☆ . . . soon enough, he's breathing heavy as his cock strains against his jeans. staring at your nervous face as you tug your panties down and he has to stop himself from grabbing you and sitting you down on his dick until his tip hits your cervix. he knows it'll hurt. and chris just happens to be so kind to his best friend, he's letting you sit down in his lap with both of your legs thrown across his.

☆ . . . your head leans back, his chin resting on top of your head as he sinks his middle finger into your cunt. "fuck, oh.. look at you. s'cute, baby" "chris.." you just sound so pathetic to him, as he hushed you gently. his other hand is wrapped around your stomach, holding you close and keeping your thrashing to a minimum.

☆ . . . your gasp turns into a moan when chris eases another finger in, the squelching sound of your own cunt echoing in your ears—making heat spread up your neck to your face. it just feels so... weird. your hips twitched gently and yoh didn't miss the chuckle that sounded from your best friends mouth, his free hand sliding up gently to squeeze at your tits.

☆ . . . when you start shifting around more and your hand grabs at chris' wrist to try and slow the sensations down, he knows you're close. a soft hush comes from him as he continues with his ministrations, ignoring the way you whine and cry about how you feel weird. "jus' let it happen. s'not a bad thing, baby.. c'mon, cum for me. theere you go" the wave of pleasure that washes over you is almost heavenly, your body tensing then going slack a few seconds after, lips parted in heavy gasps of air.

☆ . . . you think you would be done honestly, until chris is tapping the side of your hip with two of his fingers. "up, c'mon. gotta help me now" and when you shakily lift yourself up from his lap, you hear the sound of a belt buckle and fabric being slid off skin. chris' hands are looping around your stomach gently to pull you back—ordering you gently to close your eyes. "trust me, i got you. you trust me, right?"

☆ . . . of course you trust chris.. which is why your eyes fall shut—letting the brunette pull you back and sink you down slowly onto his dick. except your eyes fly open the second his tip is nudging into your entrance, a shaky gasp falling from you as your hands grip at his wrists. "chris.. that—that hurts, y'know." except he ignores you, clicking his tongue in his mouth and slowly sinking you down further. maybe he should've stretched you out a little more, but god, he was so hard to the point it hurt.

☆ . . . once chris is fully sheathed inside you, he lets you adjust for as long as you need. he knows he's big, and he knows you've never had sex. you were gulping in big gasps of air like you were dying, even though it was fine... chris' hands rub comfortingly up and down your sides, rolling his eyes at how dramatic you were. "s'kay kid.. stop doin' that," "no, i feel full..."

☆ . . . when chris was finally able to move without you throwing a fit over how much it hurt or something, he's thrusting up gently and cursing under his breath. you've turned around just so you could hide your head in his shoulder if needed, and you do—burying your head into the crook of his neck and letting his hair tickle your skin.

☆ . . . chris isn't sure how long it's been but when you squeeze around him he knows you're cumming without you having to say it, and he almost busts his own load right then and there. biting down on his lower lip, he urges you off him when he's sure your orgasm had washed over you—shoving your shoulders down to get you on your knees between his legs.

☆ . . . chris knows you aren't on birth control or anything, so he opts for a quick lesson teaching you how to bob your head up and down his length until he cums over your pretty lil' face. surprisingly, for someone who's never sucked dick before, you were damn good at it. fitting whatever you could in your mouth and then wrapping your hands around whatever else was left, just like chris had told you.

☆ . . . he isn't the best at aftercare. you guys took a shower and he seemed so awkward, because normally the girl he just banged would be out the door in a few minutes. but you're his best friend, so he just pats the bed and you two watch a movie or something. cuddling always felt too intimate for him, never been one to initiate it or entertain it.

☆ . . . you don't complain much. sure, it would've been nice. well, it would've been really nice, but you were a little too scared to ask chris to hold you like you guys were dating. were you two dating now? probably not. you've never really seen chris with the same girl for more than three days straight, and he's told you a bunch how he hates labels. huh. so why is that pit of longing still stuck in your chest?

—

ur girl wrote this with a vicious nosebleed. i lowk need to write for matt more so some stuff for him is comin soon hopefully !!! after i finish all the reqs i got tho

@conspiracy-ash @sturniolosfavkayleigh @lvrsturniolo @st7rnioioss @meatballlover10 @ashlishes @ferdzom @55sturn @chriseatingmeoutin4k @unknvhx

©eph3merall 2024

[the-family-boytoy]

big bro finding out about my special time with dad. he sticks his head in my room without knocking, as he always does, only this time he sees me, facing the door, bouncing up and down on dad- his hands gripping my hips and guiding me. at first i think hes going to do something about it, but he just stands there looking shocked. as i keep bouncing, letting out my mewling noises, his gaze locked on my chest, i watch a tent begin to form in his shorts. dad lets out a grunt and holds me up so he can thrust faster into me, and my brother startles; he quickly leaves the room, but i know he'll bring it up to me soon.

im proven right the next day when dads at work. my brother comes up to me while im watching cartoons. he stands right in front of the tv and asks how long ive been doing that with dad. i tell him im not sure, a couple months? i notice the bulge in his pants. he tells me im going to have to start doing him favours, otherwise he'll tell dad that i told him about our special time. im upset, but i agree. what choice do i have?

he makes me take out his dick, orders me to suck it. i do my best, but i haven't done this with daddy very much yet and i know im not great at it. bro watches my little butt wiggle every time i try to take him down my throat and decides he's had enough- he wants to move on. i tell him he can rub against me in my panties but he can't put it in! dad knows everything and he told me that hole is just for him. he'll know if bro puts it in and he'll be super mad.

big bro starts rubbing his cock between my legs, dragging up and down where he knows my entrance is. he slides his cock underneath my panties, watching it move between my cheeks under them as he thrusts nice and fast. finally he gets sick of them and pulls my underwear down around my knees. i remind him he can't put it in, and he says "of course, it just feels better like this"

he continues rubbing his cock on me, right against my hole, his tip catching with every thrust. he pulls back for a moment and i think he might be done, only to feel the head of his cock starting to press into my hole. "please no, dad will know! you can't put it in bro, dad's gonna know! he will i promise!" he refuses to listen and continues sliding his cock into me, little by little until he's all the way inside.

im still begging him to take it out as he starts thrusting into me, fucking me fast and hard just like dad does, grunting and groaning about how good my hole feels around him. "i dont care if dad knows i put my cock inside you. its not my fault youre such an easy slut for every man in the family." my hole is so wet his balls smack loudly against me with every thrust, yet i still try to protest in between my moans. "i bet dad wouldnt even be mad," big bro says, not slowing down, "i bet hed like watching his kids fuck like this. i bet he'd get off watching me ruin your little hole. you're so fucking wet, i think you like it too. who's cock do you like better, huh? dad's or your big brother's?" im struggling to think clearly as he pounds into me, i start crying out "dad, daddy, dad, dad" as he fucks me- answering his question or crying out for help, even i couldnt tell you.

big bro starts fucking me harder anyways. "oh you like dad better? yeah? then why are you cumming on my cock, huh? are you just that much of a slut?" and he's right, he reaches down to touch me as he quickens his pace and i cant take it. i start cumming as he fucks me, never slowing down for a second while i fall apart underneath him. "yeah thats right. thats what i fucking thought. cum on your big brothers cock. fuck, i wish dad would walk through the door right now and see you like this. i think im gonna fill you up. i bet dad would love to see his son cum inside you, wouldnt he?" his grunts get louder and his words get more and more obscene as he thrusts into me faster and faster, "yeah you want your big brothers cum? want me to fill you up just like dad does? fuck," bro says and with a few hard thrusts i feel his cum filling me up. he keeps fucking me as he cums, making sure it all stays deep inside.

our breathing begins to settle, but before bro even pulls out we hear the floor behind us creak. our dad looks down at us, a smirk on his face. "a very good opener indeed, son," he says as he starts to undo his belt, "but i think its time you get a front row seat to the main event."

[somedayslater]

i didnt read the last chapters since i discovered it was the end (but i was spoiled by tumblr lol)... i didnt want to believe it... i want to still look forward to new chapters of No Home :(

For the last few years eunyung and haejoon have been my companions. I healed a little while following the story of eunyung, feeling like its ok to be angry and wanting revenge on your family and the society that continues to want to keep you in a "house" where you are mistreated. How the world isnt made for children at all, the absolute unfairness of it all. That you can choose to keep going, and if you do so its ok to keep your distance with what hurts you.

I healed too with haejoon, who came to terms with the fact that he will always be overcome with sadness and grief from time to time, and when that happens he can only let himself feel and wait for it to pass, and try to look forward to the next day.

Honestly this manwha was the best ever. I couldnt read this manhwa as a form of escapism because it was too real. It pulled strings in my heart i didnt know i had, made me question a lot of things about myself, about others, about my relationship with others. It made me have painful discussion with a few people. Following this manhwa, most of the time, was really unpleasant lol. I hated then loved eunyoung, I liked and then disliked haejoon (yeah sorry haejoon, i think you can be really cruel and stupid and i wanted to strangle you a few times in the last arcs (i would NOT be friend with that guy lol) -thats why this character is so amazing). But i felt so much while reading it i wouldnt trade it for anything. It was funny, it was dumb, it was deep, it was enraging and healing, but most of all it was sincere. The most sincere depiction of what being a person in a deeply flawed society is, and how there's happiness even while surviving.

It was so frustrating to see the manhwa go in a direction i didnt want it to go ! I wanted it to become my cozy refuge, where every problems are magically solved, where haejoon and eunyung ends up understanding and loving each other in a cliché way, where theres a new home with my *fave charas* and its a series of feel-good interactions. Instead the problems kept pilling up, most of them didnt have a satisfactory conclusion, eunyung and haejoon kept hurting each other and distancing themselves. Haejoon just cut contact with his father without knowing what were his nefarious motives or without this guy facing any consequences, we dont know if eunyung's parents will keep bothering eunyung unchecked, we dont know if they're going to be happy and rich, or if, realistically, as orphans without generational wealth and deep traumas, they're going to end up in a shitty life situation.

And i couldnt thank wanan enough for this. They didnt take the easy way, the feel-good way, the way that would have given them a probably bigger fandom so a bigger source of money. I'm amazed by how they managed to hold this whole story so perfectly. Not a single misstep. Everything they draw was where it should have been, every action from the characters were understandable (and frustrating lol), the fucking subtlety of the developing relationships, no deus ex machina and no miserabilism. I didnt always agree with wanan's ethic or what i perceived of it (i think stealing or being violent is ok depending on the context, i dont think working hard to earn money is a virtue) but i respect how they choose to present it. I didnt talk about the other characters because honestly they didnt move me as much (except marie), but i love them so much too. I felt sad that eunyung and haejoon didnt become best friend 5ever (or even lovers hehe) but honestly, understandable lol. If i was one of them i WOULDNT become close with the other at all, so its kinda amazing they could still find this level of mutual understanding.

In short, wanan is an amazing story teller.

And an amazing image-composist (have no idea how to say this in english). The artstyle doesnt look like much, but this gave wanan a wide graphic range to convey emotions that wouldnt have been possible with a more sophisticated style i think -how will i forget the red swirlings mixing with eunyung skin ? The expressions, the choice of colors, the choice in showing something in particular without giving a clear explanation on why (often haejoon's surprised or contemplative face, which made me re-read chapters a few times to try to understand what was happening in his big head). It didnt feel like wanan thought their readers were stupid, nor did they play the fake-deep style. It was perfectly balanced.

And so even if i didnt read it, i have no doubt the end will be the same. Im so sad they decided to end this manhwa, but i know prolonging it would have been greedy and that ultimately, the manhwa would have suffer for it. Some authors do that : they have a popular series going on, and for whatever reason they keep writing new chapters without a clear goal and so the story becomes diluted, messy, useless. I love when they do this, because i can say goodbye to a story progressively as my interest in it wans, without feeling sadness or loss. But it makes me not think of the story at all in the future, since everything that was good about it became buried in new shitty chapters. Because wanan didnt do that, i know that i would think of no home for a long while, maybe forever,

,like i really lost companions when no home ended actually. Because it really, really hurts, knowing i wont be seeing new faces of the no home characters anymore. I know it sounds probably stupid ; i feel genuine grief here lol. I want to know what will happen to them, if they are alright, if they found a place in the world... if there is something to look forward after all, and i really dread not having answers every monday anymore. and the fandom is so small i cant comfort myself by re-entering the no home world every week or whatever... does anyone else feel this way ToT ? maybe i should participate myself but well,, i wouldnt know where to begin...

And saying that ! I'm almost never on this blog, i dont really have socmed accounts, i dont participate in fandoms at all. But I spent a looot of time reading and watching people who does -without being connected or interacting with posts or fanfics at all. AND i really want to thank you all for giving me so much material to chew, posts that made me think, fics that made me smile, drawings that inspired me, witnessing interactions that made me laugh. I was and i probably will continue to be a ghost on socmed, but i really want you to know that you had an impact on me and i was looking forward to your new posts (and will continue to!).

the "every no home chapter is a test of my willingness to Not blow my own brains out" and explosion eunhae monday of @skiptoyuri

the regular nohome posters which makes me happy to check tumblr regularly @shimamitsulover @lesbianpegbar @luckyswamps @tomoyoo @cloudbends @t0a2ter @solcarow @dragon-of-timeless-blue

the awesome artists who keep producing bangers nohome art @gohaejoon @maxsolosur @jjd5426 @bnnuycafe @ct-bunny @lentl-soup @fartaycat @jjd5426 @prokkoli @moxymaxing @ginangtan

the nohome posters that i enjoyed running into @pleuvoire @homolobotomized @podoro-vines @fmet @welpuu @revertrate @obstinaterixatrix @kulluto

the artists that made me interested in checking no home @cienfll @craysmo @ant-eaters @idledee @fruiitlins @froqpi-art @201918b @tinfishmeal @ohrsoh @30mingirlfriend

thanks @ditherslam for the awesome fanfics, obviously i read them all and they're some of my favourites. youre an amazing writer and i cant wait for the next chap of "your atoms"!!

thanks @homeless202 for being an insatiable nohome poster for a while (and @grannykombucha !)

im forgetting a lot of others but i really wanted to thank you all for your time, energy, work. i never interacted with your posts or with you but i really want to convey how cool it is that you all contribute to make no home a more well-known manhwa and the fandom alive

thank youuuu (hope the @ are ok tell me if its bothersome ill delete it)

and really, really, thank you wanan ! waaaa i want to cry

[blackdollette]

if ur requests r still open and u rnt overwhelmed AND if youre okay with what im abt to request...

heres a thought. euronymous and like opposite style innocent reader (mb i love dark guys and innocent bimbo-y girlfriends)

so theyve had sex before obvi. and typically she just lays there and is disinterested because frankly.... he has a little fear of breaking her and shes like "this isnt enough for me :((" so one day she just looks up at euro like "smack me." and it shocks him ! and when he does it opens a door for both of them. they like impact play 🤷‍♀️ and sprinkle a little bit of euro breeding kink but not rly breeding just more like "im cumming in u coz ur mine and i want everyone to know it when your bellys full and round" not rly like "i want u to have my babies" coz i think he wouldnt like babies.

mb that was a bit tm ranting woopsies

i love opposites attract type of stuff, im obsessed!!

"he dyes his hair black, i dye mine platinum blonde" | euronymous

me & my boyfriend. - lana del rey

p.s. this story has nothing to do with oystein aarseth. this is rory's portrayal of the character.

bimbo!female!reader x euronymous

contents: spanking, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie

you two were as different as could be. you were like day and night. he went around trying to instill fear into the souls of all who made the mistake of looking in his direction. and you always looked like a child's doll, the way you were always dolled up making you extremely pleasing to the eye.

you never showed any interest in the dark and evil stuff that euronymous invested all his time into. you revolved your life around looking good and geting everything you wanted, giving the impression that you were soft and fragile.

that's why euronymous always tried to be as gentle with you as possible when it came to sex. he would go painfully slowly, always asking if he should stop. you had always appreciated him being so kind to you, but you couldnt help but yearn for something more than all that.

so the night you asked him to completely have his way with you, he was completely taken by surprised. "a-are you sure? i wouldnt wanna hurt you or anything, y'know." you continued to insist, but he kept on resisting. this went on for a while before you snapped and decided to take matters into your own hands.

without any further communication, you took off your miniskirt and tight shirt, throwing them to the side. you sat on the bed, only in your hot pink thong and matching bra. he attempted to speak, but his words got caught in his throat as his eyes wandered down your beautiful body. no matter how many times he saw you like this, his reaction would never change.

you turned around and stuck your head into a pillow, putting your ass in the air. "spank me." your voice was slightly muffled, but he heard you loud and clear. he hesitated, but seeing that you were actually serious made him want it almost as badly as you did.

you got behind you, his hands on your hips, gently rubbing your soft skin before he raised his hand and laid the first slap. you winced in pain, but you kept yourself together. you heard euronymous chuckle, and you knew that it was about to get a lot worse. finally, your fantasies were being fulfilled.

he lands another hard slap on your ass, this on stinging even more, making you whimper enough for him to hear. it sounded like music to his ears. he continued to spank you, each slap getting more and more painful. you could tell that he was enjoying this. this was something that he'd been dreaming of for a long time.

your hips got a little sore from keeping them up for so long, so you lowered them a little. euronymous started to unbuckle his belt, throwing it to the side. he slapped your ass once more. "ass up, whore." he said, his voice lower than usual.

you whined as you stuck your hips back into the air. euronymous undid his pants and pulled out his already hard cock out. he ripped your thong off of you, your little pussy aching to be fucked. he smiled at the sight, thinking of all the things that he was going to do to you.

he rubbed your slit gently with his thumb before stuffing you with his cock. you let out a loud, slutty moan. euronymous had never heard anything like it before considering how gentle he always was with you.

he wasted no time quickly thrusting into you, his hips coming into contact with yours making a loud slapping sound each time. you started falling apart instantly. you had never felt this way before. he was being so rough and wreckless with you, but you loved it.

your moans got louder and louder, along with the sounds of euronymous slapping your ass. he fucked you at an inhumanly fast pace, finally letting out all these years of sexual tension. he had always fantasized about being able to destroy your insides and make you go completely dumb on his cock.

he kept a firm grip on your hips as he pounded into your sore little pussy, whispering things that couldnt be heard underneath the sound of your moans and whimpers. you felt you pussy tightening around his cock, signalling your orgasm coming.

his groans became more audible as he felt you getting tigther around him. he wanted to make you cum harder than you ever have before. he reached a hand forward and started rubbing fast circles on your throbbing clit, sending you over the edge.

your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you came all over his cock, which was still pounding into you at lightning speed. you felt your vision going blurry as he started to overstimulate you. you sobbed as you started cumming even harder, making his cock throb inside of you.

he started speaking to you in between strained groans. "a-ah... gonna fuck my cum into you... gonna fill you up real good..." you felt your body completely surrendering to him as you felt a second orgasm about to him.

with the feeling of your pussy squeezing him, he started releasing his hot cum into you, making you feel so warm and full. his nails dug into your skin as he reached hit orgasm, throwing his head back as he continued to fuck you. he kept going until you were leaking his and your cum.

he finally pulled out of your sore little cunt, flipping you over so he could see you. your mascara was completely ruined, your lipgloss was smudged, and your cheeks were flushed, making you look like a total mess.

euronymous grinned before giving you a kiss on the forehead. "such a pretty girl... i think i like your makeup better this way." you rolled your eyes. euronymous spread you legs and sat himself right infront of your pussy.

he used his fingers to spread your lips so he could watch all the cum drip out of you. needless to say, sex got a lot more entertaining from then on.

author's note: so sorry this took a while to come out, i can procrastinate for the olympic i swear. im working on another request rn dont worry yall :))

[ca1e70]

she hates him. in this exact moment, she hates him. with his fingers down her throat and his hand holding her hair back, his own prescription pills are dangerously close to touching her tongue once again, and she hates him because she thinks he hates her for what she did.

he doesn't. not yet, at least. right now he's just scared and worried and upset and a little angry at her insistence to keep his antipsychotics down. they're still in the grace period of ingestion she doesn't need to go to the hospital. the grace period where he can piece together what was scattered on the bathroom floor with what he pulls out of her vomit and avoid a psych phonecall of his own.

she bites his fingers. he pulls her hair and digs in deeper. she doesn't even remember why she did this. why she's fumbling despite the assault to find more pills, finger tips snagging and palming them for later. as if he will turn his back on her for long enough to dry swallow them.

"youre like a fucking dog, throw up"

maybe she is. she always thought of herself like a cat, if she had to be any animal. calculated and adamant about her boundaries. only accepting of affection when she wanted it, when it fit her curated checklist, when the other person deserved it, but he was right. she was like a dog. she begged and pleaded and got into the trash when her owner was gone because any attention, even bad attention, was attention. she overdoses on his medication so she can be the most important thing in his life right now. she drinks herself sick, stupid, stumbling into his arms when the event allows so she can feel what it's like to be cared for. she doesn't like the now bloody fingers in her mouth. she likes when he rubs her back and holds her close and uses a wet washcloth to wipe the wine-filled bile from her chin so it doesn't stain. she stops fighting and lets it come up in his lap and over his hand. he's relieved, rather than disgusted. he lets go of her and she can feel herself tumbling eight stories onto bedrock bottom.

"how much did you take"

"I don't know, I didn't count," she coughs it up, wiping her mouth with the heel of her palm. Everything burns. "A handful?"

"a handful. great. good measurement"

is he mad? he sounds mad. he's worried, maybe frustrated. focused as he tries to count out the white pills fizzling in her throw-up. she tries to help by counting out the seven she has in her palm, but he reaches out to grab them from her like they would burn a hole through her hand if she held them a second longer, so she moves to put herself back together. her nose is running and her eyes are watering and her face is flushed and that isn't attractive. no wonder he's focused more on the pills than her. this is just like when her mother was more upset with the damage to their silverware and the fact the electrician couldnt come by to fix the kitchen wiring until friday. she didn't care that her daughters fingers were blackened, that her veins felt electrified. that she waited for hours until the woman came downstairs to jab that fork into the socket just to ensure she was there for the whole performance.

he looks handsome when he's focused. he looks better when he's focused on her, but this is close enough, for now. this isn't the time to think about the way he looks at her when shes underneath him with her hands in his hair instead. has he looked at someone else like that? is she second-best? third? is she just the only girl disturbed enough to hike her skirt up for him, or is she just the easiest? she's hard to stomach, she knows that, so there must be something in her he can't live without. he wouldn't have manhandled her like that when he came home.

"I could be dead by now. I thought you were good at math."

his jaw sets the same way it does before he punches a stranger at the bar in the face. she almost wants him to do it. to hit her. to let her corrupt yet another subsection of people he knows in his mind. another opportunity for him to think of her.

he doesn't. he keeps counting, carefully peeling each tablet off his jeans and dropping them into the empty bottle from the bathroom floor. she watches him for a while and she steals the lid from next to the toilet, so when he's done, he has to ask her for it back.

[violntfemme]

What the FUCK is going on with the Henry-William dynamic and why theyre like That because i think ive put this post off long enough:

tw // mentions of shitty parents, overdose/suicide🤥

Okay so the simplest answer I can give you is codependence. Thats the only way i can describe their dynamic. Henry needs William and William needs Henry! This isnt in a strictly romantic or strictly platonic sense, either. They were both set to meet at one of the lowest points in their life with only each other to go to, so its just easier for them to just stick with each other. Williams trust is fucked up and Henry is just..he just likes having William around because they understand each other. I mean, both of them had suffered through shitty childhoods with Henry having a deadbeat mother and living in poverty and William with an abusive father. They just get each other and it just brought them closer to the point they just couldnt live without each other.

Now, their relationship also isnt the healthiest, either. Its full of jealousy and the whole "I need you" thing just fucks them up a lil bit more. At the same time, though, its worse for them to be apart. I mean, they genuinely need each other to feel okay because each of them posesses qualities the other doesnt, and being apart for too long brings them genuine distress. Thats why theyre always either written, or drawn together. Theyre a pair and its rare for them to be separated if not by force.

Though the main reason I talk about them not being healthy is heavily influenced by how Henry reacts to Williams death: erraticly. I mean, he loses himself the moment William "leaves him."(Thats what it feels like to him, at least.) He becomes impulsive, self destructive, etc because the fact of the matter is, he genuinely needed william to feel okay. William knew Henry for around 25 years, taking up the better part of his life, and when hes always there, Henry didnt really think it was possible to live a life without him there, so ultimately Henry didnt care if he himself died afterwards. He naturally stopped caring because ein his eyes, he was living for william. With william gone, he basically lost the one thing he was living for and the only reason he stayed another 6 months was because he wasnt actively trying to die, it just happened when he was being careless.

On a seperate note, and the question I keep being asked, are they dating? And for that, Its kind of complicated. They arent just friends, but they arent really dating, either. Its something in between, especially post-war when theres no reason that theyre ever apart. They take on an almost domestic kind of style with each other? Like theres more physical touch than one would deem "friendly" whether that be a hand on the cheek, playing with hair, etc. But its for means of comfort. But do they have feelings for each other? By 1785, yeah, but nothing is done about it. They were content being their own thing that isnt romantic and isnt platonic and yayy good for them they were happy with each other and a little bit gay and a LOTTA bit codependent but thats basically their dynamic ^_^

[sugarpuptard]

actually emailed the psychologist/psychotherapist i picked to start therapy again after years got too emotional and felt so head fuzzy but my mom helped me the email is sent and I AM SCARED AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK

its been like almost,,, 9-10 years without a real therapist??? which feels so crazy to say because i was 16 fucking 9 years ago. 9!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK??????? i still feel 16 if not younger at times, i forget im 22 often. everything just feels so weird. i know this is for good but why is it scary? i've been to so many and rarely it worked out. i only have my psychiatrist who's been with me since i was either 7 or 8 so bro is the GOAT, and one therapist i had in middle school did more than she ever needed to trying to help me and i appreciate her so much (even if i couldnt keep up with her bubbliness lol) and uh i really dont know if there were any other good ones i dont remember a lot of stuff, but at least i remember enough to wish that i could forget

[mugzymiik]

my tpc headcanons bc why not :D

SOME CHARS I DONT HAVE TOO MANY FOR (IF I HAVE ANY FOR THEM AT ALL) :sob::sob::sob:

[last updated: January 24, 2025]

main chars:

caretakers:

Cube:

trans FtM

has a pretty good tolerance to the cold. all cubes do (in my headcanons anyway) but his is especially great

back when he and Lythorus started dating he tried to rest his head on top of Lythorus's as a way of affection and he proceeded to get stabbed by the spike

Iris:

has a really deep voice. but at the same time he somehow also sounds like a really tired teenager who works retail

Pentellow:

has a british accent

also knows a frightening amount of very unsettling fun facts

shes the tallest out of the non-monster caretakers (so herself, Iris and Cube). why? fuck you. fuck you is why /HEVJ/VSILLY

Pyrare:

he has pockets in his robe and its like a "time-out area" for Gold (but sometimes Gold chills in there anyways)

he named Barracuda and Gold after his pet fish. like, genuinely. with how big monsters are, barracudas could practically be goldfish and actually goldfish could be like guppies or something to them

has multiple medical degrees. yes, stacked on top of each other.

heroes:

Cyan:

likes to follow people around!!! and also doesnt like being left alone for long periods of time

he and Cyanide somehow get confused for each other a lot???? literally nobody knows how but it very much happens

Orange:

Tsavorite and him are each other's impulse control. ofc its mostly Orange whos keeping Tsavorite from walking straight into a landmine (/j ofc) but they keep each other out of trouble (most of the time at least)

if bored enough, he can and will find ways to fit into places that will have everyone wonder "HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET IN THERE- HOW DO WE GET HIM OUT???" and he somehow manages to squeeze out flawlessly every time. he has never gotten truly stuck

will drink straight mayo (<- stolen headcanon (hi Tea /SILLY))

im self projecting kind of when i say he got asthma

more of a "this is how i draw them" but his bandana ends kinda look like bunny ears

Tsavorite:

genderfluid and uses any pronouns. :3c he? yes! they? yes! she? yes! literally any neopronoun(s)? HELL YEAH!!!

constantly compares Orange to an actual orange (teasingly ofc)

very alert, but "backwards". like. he'll be able to notice a cool beetle from 5 feet away but wouldnt be able to tell you where Orange headed off to despite being right next to him just a few seconds ago

shows affection thru hugs and pokes. basically just. physical touch!!! but if he cant be physically affectionate they will just give random ass gifts :D

knows a lot abt physical weapons to the point where its honestly a littol unnerving because hOW DOES HE KNOW ABT ALL THIS-

can hold intense eye contact for extended periods of time without blinking (and has intimidated multiple people with it on complete accident)

HATES the snow. and all the other Heroes tease them (/aff) abt it ever since they all found out bc "we thought you loved EVERYTHING"

does NOT care for formalities. like. at all. like say if he met a "King Guy" he wouldnt say "King Guy" hed just say "Guy"

he has been caught eating weeds from the front lawn on multiple occasions

REALLY doesnt like mayo. its literally the ONLY thing they wont eat and if he even SEES it she straightup gags

Gold:

trans FtM

tall. tall fuck. everyones confused asf bc hes not physically related to Pyrare so he couldnt get those kinda """genes""" but hes still REALLY fuckin tall (when matured ofc)

VERY SNAKE-LIKE!!! he can hiss. he has fangs. and hes more sensitive to chilly weather and the cold than most other shapes

back when he was saying Literally Nothing he WOULD speak occasionally but in only one word sentences. those single words were unintentionally very vaguely threatening 9 times outta 10

↓

i know its literally not possible in any way BUT that fluff on his jacket? whenever he's angry/frightened/defensive/whatevertf, that fluff poofs up like a cobra's hood

his bandana used to be around his neck like Cyan's, but it was moved to his leg a little while after he was birthed because his leg got hurt. anyways yeah the bandana was the only thing that could potentially be used at the moment so it was moved to his leg by Pyrare as a makeshift bandage or smth. and afterwards he just kept it there, it was fucking w his sensory issues anyway </3 that leg is a little more fragile because of the past injury

allergic to tomatoes i am Not selfprojecting i swear /j

Cyanide:

has multiple songs pirated on herself. i do not take criticism/j

tall for an unmatured hero :3c

whenever she's trying to "hide something", she uses very detailed language,,for example, if she did something like sneaking out or smth she'd say "greetings" instead of just "hi" or "hello"

"lags" more whenever its hot out

being ANYWHERE around her at ANY point in time is a BIG fuckin risk because she can play Never Gonna Give You Up/Whistle/that stickbug gif on herself on command /SILLY

sometimes she gets so angry that she starts yelling and her filter kicks in BUT she is so angry that it gets kinda fucky and. instead of her yelling. funky town or smth like that will just start playing at full volume and in microwave quality

groups:

chipzel:

Purpex:

i dont have any for her as of rn D:

Marcle:

really likes chicken nuggets. its really random but she LOVES chicken nuggets

Squadril:

is CONSTANTLY called short by Purpex and Marcle + everybody in all the other groups (teasingly ofc)

bossfight:

Cintagon:

Round <3

is absolutely dating Circumsphere

bisexual and also polyamorous :D if he was given the choice between getting his dead wife back or staying with Circumsphere he would choose both with ZERO hesitation

Circumsphere:

i dont have any rn :[

danimal cannon:

Quintagon:

very strong for a pentagon (once when she n Hexagram were younger she hit him and he had a big ass bruise for a few days)

Hexagram:

has a very bad obsession with vikings, which is why his corrupt form has a "viking"-ish look

Polyhedron:

i got none rn :<

big giant circles:

Circumuscle:

doesnt swear very often so when he does its a shock to everyone/lhj

a big softie!!! only to those he deeply cares abt though

he has to be gentle whenever he hugs someone bc hes gonna break someones back someday if he isnt😭🙏

Rincle:

IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF CIRCUMUSCLE SWEARING-WISE if she is given a single chance to say Fuck she WILL absolutely take it with zero hesitation at all/lhj

Spheer:

they and Circumuscle have an "older brother + younger sibling" dynamic

has a british accent as well

Cirtunda:

i dont got any for her either D:

other:

Lythorus:

very distractible

aquatic flower (explained further in the world-wise "shape related" section)

has a VERY bad fear of insects

hes 6ft. and he and Cube have a running joke with this using his name as a measurement. something's exactly 12ft tall? its 2 Lythoruses tall actually/j/lhj

Heli:

nonbinary!!! and uses he/she/they pronouns :D

he and Ketches r like,,partners. take that in any way possible

has the ability to form a body beneath her, buuuut she prefers to fly

a sweetheart through and through. but when/if they do decide to get silly and start teasing people sometimes he accidentally takes it way too far

Ketches:

absolutely has a "pirate" accent r u kidding me/lhj

also has the ability to form a body like Heli

is an uncle figure to Gold

can honk. not like a duck i mean like a boat. "WOOAOAOAOAORRRR" <- that kinda honk

corrupts:

Dub:

he can purr. i dont take criticism sorry /lhj

he and Barracuda were gay as FUCK i will DIE on this hill istg

took guitar classes before he and Cuda went pinksauced

left a seat in the tower's "main room" just in memory of Barracuda. little does he actually know--/lhj

Barracuda:

is actually a ghost rn!! after Dub escaped from the seal he just roams around the tower and also occasionally chills next to Dub (even if Dub cant see him at all + has no idea he's even there)

Cubic:

bitch

he and Lycanthropy have BEEF for some godforesaken reason

Ajaceare:

idk rn D:

George:

his spikes are different from other flowers'; most flower's spikes are pretty sharp, but his never sharpened from childhood, and thus are a little "dull-ended"

Hexacrigon:

idk for her either rn

Cintagram:

manipulative as FUCK. the only person he hasnt ever lied to is Circumcannon

speaking of which. he and Circumcannon still kiss <3

Circumcannon:

no ideas,,again

Hexadic:

same as all the others😭

Lycanthropy:

the only thing keeping he and Cubic from fistfighting each other every time they see each other is that they both know that 1) Dub WILL somehow find out and WILL get their asses and 2) Cubic is strong enough to actually kill Lycanthropy if they fight too hard. and Cubic doesnt wanna fling himself into boiling hot water (not literally ofc) + Lycanthropy doesnt wanna die to THIS bitch's hand

a lot of the other corrupted flowers see him as a "general"/"commander" due to Lythorus being leader of the (uncorrupted at least) flowers

should NOT be trusted with any kind of powertools ever

he can go fuckin insane on the drums

Circubit:

pretty close friends with Macabre

would absolutely dj in his spare time

world-wise hcs:

shape related:

spheres are the speediest out of all the shapes

cubes have a natural resistance to the cold

some flowers have the ability to live entirely underwater, its kinda like a "subtype" for them; theyre often referred to as "aquatic flowers"

flowers have fangs :3c chompers even!!!

spheres are the most likely out of any other shape "species" to be able to grow hair

flowers are naturally tall as shit!!!

flowers' spikes arent as "sharp" when theyre young- they "sharpen up" quite a bit as they get older, though

adding onto the last one, aquatic flowers' spikes are a little more on the duller side

other/unrelated to anything else:

some shapes dont have a "combat ability"

all of the group members of a certain area have meetups sometimes, and occasionally ALL of the groups meet up as a whole (pretty rare considering the size of Paradise, but it still happens at times!)

all the heroes have an odd obsession with going in and out of windows instead of doors. there could be an open door right next to a window and any one of them would still open the window and go right out of it

after Dub is defeated, every year on the anniversary of that day the Heroes get in a circle and chant "its not over til its over" to each other for exactly an hour straight. the caretakers were VERY worried initially, and debated calling an exorcist or something- but theyve grown used to it after like the first 3 years. but it still scares the shit out of anybody else who's unfortunate enough to witness it

in terms of the Trees creating the Heroes, creating and birthing are two different things. initially, the Tree creates the Hero BUT they aren't immediately taken out of the Tree– instead, theyre in a kitten-like state for like a week and then they lose that state afterwards. and a week after that they are FINALLY taken out of the Tree by their caretaker

[daydrinking75]

fuck off i just wana get high of prescription medication so my back stops hurting and not participate in society. cant i just DO things? without the weight of having a future and fighting for to keep it. its not that im being forced to, but its my only option. i dont think its worth dying yet, theres nothing to die over really; the cumulative experience of 20 years really is nothing in the grand scheme of things. i have an idea of who i could be, and id like to see that person and be that person, but i can only do so if i keep living. and living means work. it takes a lot of work to live. and that makes me just wana kill myself because why is life--something thats upheld on this stupid pedestal and considered "good"--so damn painful? to me anyway. thats the unfortunate thing, i can only experience the universe through myself. these things are only painful to me, in the sense that without myself present, there wouldn't ve anyone in pain. and the world wold continue to exist. "painful" really just means inconvenient. then again, maybe i just havent felt real pain. im a white girl complaining on the internet with fancy words--i know how it sounds. and even then, pain beyond my understanding is just an extreme inconvenience beyond my understanding. it doesnt devalue it though, what was gained and lost from the pain doesnt go away just because it's a pest. thats the opposite of what they do. some people have wasp nests in their brain. some people clean them out, some let them fester--some people have butterflies (how wonderful that must be), ants, spiders--things of an infestive nature. they accumulate over time, its up to you how to handle it. its a responsibility, to live. to ensure to properly treat the environment of infectents. and ive always struggled to care. to give a fuck. i just dont. for whatever reason, on principle, i couldnt be bothered with responsibility. but i am by the suffering it brings. and the eventual suffocation--forget falling figs, i feel like im watching termites devour my future because of my conscious neglect. i cant stand it. and im sure this is a common occurrence. but i dont have a "will to live" i have a will to become, and the only way to do that is to stay alive long enough for me to understand and grow myself into someone worth dying next to. because im unable to become something when i die, thats all i am, dead. and all the blood and tears and trauma that comes with that concept. but in my experience life is full of that anyway, and the only thing that sets apart the "big sleep" is the act of ending life. it just stops. its a given that im agnostic--i wish i believed in a god that loved me, people often seem happier when they have divine love, even if it hurts others--and for me heaven isnt a place i'll find after i die. hell might be, but that doesnt change the fact that the afterlife remains provably defined as a variable. an entity of limitless possibilities, including nothing at all. the only thing thats known for sure is that its not this, its not life. otherwise it wouldn't end so abruptly. so life and death are antithetical and interchangeable; just two different states of existence. its not by any fault of its own that death is so painful; its a function, a process, it will execute its purpose regardless of if it hurts someone or not. unfortunately all things living, including people, are those who deal with the hurt. no one finds the things that hurt them appealing. well, thats a lie. if you know you know. lets say its at the very least impractical; if you want to live, why would you be attracted towards death? what a wonderful question. its a shame i dont have the answer. i have speculations, educated guesses, impulsive thoughts, but its about time i circle back to the point im trying, flimsily, to make; its impossible to live without thinking. without engaging in life. in society. in people. its those things that give us substance; reality is precious because its uncontrollable, daydreams wont ever compare. so maybe the unknown isnt so scary. its different.

[tacagen]

did you know that negaduck from darkwing duck was based off reverse-flash? yeah, that doesnt even BEGIN to describe what's actually been going on between their character histories..

first, negaduck wasnt just inspired by or a reverse-flash parody. he's a literal copy-paste of silver age thawne with a very few changes of origin place from future to parallel universe and identity from some random future guy to main hero's evil twin, because originally eobard was fixated on being a Criminal and not particularly flash's nemesis. back in the day, thawne constantly mentions how much he loves his criminal life. half of his lines are negaduck-worthy purely because the rest is related to being a speedster scientist. my personal favorite as an example:

he passes the speed limit law in central city so that barry couldnt use superspeed without breaking it but thawne still could because he is 'a hardened criminal'. he invents rays that turn everything inflicted evil (something even negaduck has never done (ig solely because megavolt's already done it in the negaduck episode where he accidentally splits darkwing into good dw (posiduck) and bad dw(negaduck, with a black and gray color scheme), and while yellow negaduck is a different character this is basically how the idea of him was born and the writers just decided to keep him in a different form bc the gray one merged back into normal dw at the end which is super funny. imagine coming up with a duck villain and going 'oh this guy actually reminds me a lot of reverse-flash with all that opposite/negative thing. LET'S PAINT HIM IN THOSE COLORS AND GIVE HIM THE SAME PERSONALITY AND SIMILAR ORIGIN THIS TIME'), altho he DOES test the power gem on a cat in jail bird like thawne did with evil rays). he repeatedly tries to get poor former dr alchemy back to crime just because 'crime fun. why cant you see that. im doing it for your own good' and negaduck tried something like that with morgana in feb 14th episode my valentine ghoul (+that brief scene with gos from 2016 comics run where he believes she must be bad deep down inside out of comparsion to nega!gosalyn). negaduck also travels from a whole other world just to fuck around here for fun (there was this bronze age flash issue called flashback where thawne gets lost in the timestream because barry pushed the wrong buttons in his time capsule which is almost exact negaduck's fate in life, the negaverse and everything) and one of another few differences related is that negaduck is shown to be a dictator of his universe's St. Canard who is bored to live somewhere he already has all the power so he travels to another universe to cause problems on purpose.

second. dc's new52. eobard is rewritten again, now he and zoom are kind of one character. but guess what else is new in this version that never happend neither in zoom or professor zoom's lives? thawne is a fucking dictator in his own time. and people tried to fight his rule in flash's name just like friendly four needed darkwing as inspiration to finally fight back for their world.

he gets his own team, acolytes of zoom (i wish i could call them local fearsome 4 but there are 5 of them, making it more of a sinister 6 if you count thawne) which he trains for centuries to fight the flash and betrays later by trying to steal their powers just like negaduck stole f4's in jail bird to become mega-negaduck and if all that wasnt enough, without the mask he straight up looks like negaduck humanization. look at him. this mf is only missing a hat and a cape.

also these sudden black parts in his new speedster suit design? either it is some absolute fucking bonkers of a coincidence or someone on the flash writing team really went 'hey guys you know what would be real funny? lets base new thawne off negaduck. like he was originally based off thawne. i swear no one will notice' and everyone went with that. (i could also mention he has the same dumb motivation for being evil (having shitty childhood/being deep down sad about mistreatment and loneliness) as 2011 dwd comics run negaduck but imo that's too far of a stretch to actually be included)

third. yall know the deal of the first season of cw's the flash? yeah, what if i told you the whole thawne messes with the particle accelerator and causes barry to gain superspeed thing already fucking happend in darkwing duck, episode going nowhere fast?

(the way i lost my mind over this back in the day when i decided to watch dwd just because negaduck reminded me of thawne(i didnt even know he was a direct rip-off, i just went 'oh wait dt universe has this evil fuck that wears the same color scheme as reverse-flash? girl i AM checking the whole thing out just to see if he's anything like thawne'.) and first watched the episode... priceless, still haunts me to this very day. how the hell was that written in 1991. did cw writers just take the idea from dwd too. honestly i cant be sure about anything anymore).

and remember in the duck knight returns (2011 comics run arc) flashbacks there was a super funny thing with negaduck not knowing dw's secret identity and being so proud he cracked the case? remember cw!og!thawne looking for flash's time period and not knowing his identity in 2nd season cameo episode? what the hell was even up with that!!! like guys. guys one of you is the most devoted flash fan from the future and there is NO way none of that kind of information was left a CENTURY after (i mean come on dude couldntve you just asked gideon. she literally had that 2024 newspaper about vanishing and thats at the very least not mentioning she was created by barry) and another is straight up the same fucking person as the hero with the same fucking relatives and enemies. idk take a wild guess??? ((i really wonder if anybody on the wirting team of 2011 dwd run saw not just life, the negaverse and everything but any episode featuring negaduck at all. not only do they ignore the existence of nega!gos in the 'oh he mean bc alone :(' approach, they ignore the very definition of negaduck's character which is literally evil drake mallard. i mean sure hes dumb and may miss obvious clues because of being the same dw just evil but come on, such a comedic situation and never addressed by drake whos literally been in the negaverse and knows they are the same person or by anyone else he coluldve told that? oh well unless drake is also dumb af and thought there never was any drake mallard in the negaverse in the first place and that negaduck is some other guy. which is a real probability i suppose))

also. negaduck's death by being split on billions of evil particles in crisis on infinite darkwings and thawne, being 'exorcised' from nash's body in a form of a negative speed force stream with sparks in 6x15 of cw's the flash.

fourth! yall did watch ducktales 2017 reboot, right? specifically the duck knight returns episode? they introduce a whole new version of negaduck there! and guess what. jim starling, an old darkwing duck (in-universe 90s tv series) actor obsessed with his role, goes fucking nuts because there is a new darkwing duck actor in a new movie and he didnt even know. because he feels forgotten. because no one remembers neither him nor original series (objectievely not true bc obviously launchpad and drake but to jim they just dont count bc reasons. he seems to count only children but calls lp his fan when anthagonizes drake for taking even that from him in the end). because he was replaced and no one even bothered to tell him. he causes a fire on the set, almost kills drake but does have a change of heart at the end after launchpad's speech about what darkwing duck stands for and seemingly sacrifices himself to save drake and lp from the explosion. then they have the worst idea they could have in relation to jim's character ever: for drake to be a real life darkwing duck to honor jim's sacrifice. so naturally he hears that from the sewers or wherever he was hiding to see their reactions(look i am. 100% sure that this is what happened bc that makes so much more sense than jim getting brain damage or whatever from that explosion and waking up to choose violence again for no other reason). he gets hit with the being replacable and forgotten thing once again and renders back to negaduck tendencies, for all we know for good this time as his darkwing suit changes to the yellow-red one. yk who else went on a rampage because he felt forgotten and replaced? you guessed it! the return of barry allen, a 90s classic where thawne goes to 21st century for the first time, thinks he's barry (original-ish flash) because dissociation from trauma of seeing himself being killed by his hero and acts exactly like starling, having the same issues as motivation aka him/barry being forgotten and replaced by wally. he implies wally taking on the flash mantle is most disrespectful to barry. he rants about how he's the only flash and threatens to destroy not only the flash family but the whole central city for forgetting that. he and wally have a conflict of legacy similar to jim and drake's conflict in dt17. he is The starling blueprint only a lot more mentally ill. also we've heard something like the duck knight returns in running scared (this one is less reminiscent of jim but still features some things that werent in the return of barry allen). it's a rebirth arc that introduces another new origin of reverse-flash. now, he's been hyperfixated on barry allen his whole life (on a whole new level i mean) and there was the first meeting in 25th century where they Connected like thawne always believed they would. that day ended up in a fight and thawne's imprisonment because he set up casualties to get attention and praise for being the flash of 25th century but unlike all other versions this thawne has a change of heart after the fight, too. he promises to 'fix everything' including himself, he even goes to therapy afterwards. then he goes to the 21st century to tell barry how much he accomplished since they last met and then sees barry saying to wally one meaningful phrase he said to thawne that perfect day. like it wasnt something special only barry and eobard shared. like the day they met never happened. like he forgot thawne ever existed. like he was replaced as barry's speedster partner/friend/whatever he thought they were after that day by wally. and that shatters thawne so much he runs back to 25th and just decides to become the reverse-flash and make barry suffer until he gives him attention and recognition he deserved. frank angones, i am inside your walls. you CANT deny you based your versions of dw and nd off flash comics and thawne particularly. and more, you legit made reverse!eobarry au and put it in dt in duck forms. i have been losing my mind about it for 3 years now. i am exposing you and there is nothing you can do to escape that.

fifth(ish). yeah, and btw about friendly four from life, the negaverse and everything. did you think they actually escaped being mirrored in the flash? ha. i present to you reverse-rogues from the 25th century aka the renegades, carefully created by zoom and thawne himself, thinking it would somehow be funny.

cant believe hunter once saw it on tv put 2 and 2 together and went 'eobard my dude we need to go full negaverse with the 25th century. we need a friendly four to your negaduck. i swear it'll be Hilarious'. god the only thing they lack at this point is nega!gosalyn (i mean. hunter actually did try something like that with inertia, saving him from the museum and trying to teach him how to torture flashfam into improving them but thad was more of a nega!honker and reverted hunter to disabled powerless state just because. love that kid)

and that's all i have so far, if anyone here also into both yellow-red mfs with no life feel free to comment or even add more because there sure is or at least will be more and no one has the power to stop it.

[tossball-stick]

theyve just got a lot of appeal okay

i dont think vaughn ever liked jack. i hc that hes always been skeptical about him, but more from a distance. he tries not to involve himself with jack as much as possible. he has a feeling the more he tries to learn, the MORE he'll have to try to get his best friend to stop obsessing over that guy. so he just keeps himself in the dark, focuses on work and friends.

jack will occasionally mingle around in some of the more common bars or clubs set up in helios. he likes the attention, the way everyone is trying to touch and see and hear him. the alcohol probably helps as well. usually it happens when he needs an ego boost. sometimes he'll even flirt around, if some of these dumb poor middle class helios workers have enough good looks.

so imagine vaughns surprise when jack waltzes up to him and yvette tying to have a quiet night at the bar together.

jack showed up without warning, and a crowd followed. vaughn and yvette had been trying to ignore it all and just drink, keep chatting with each other. about rhys, about work, about what movies theyd seen.

so imagine both of their surprise when jacks the one that waltzes right up to them.

he says something about how strange it is that neither of them have even attempted to get up to meet him. he asks if they hate him, of theyre against him.

vaughn is slack jawed, stunned into silence. somehow this walking nerd emoji managed to pull the attention of jack by... doing nothing?

yvette is the first to respond, her eyes wode and expression clearly surprised. of course we're not against you, she assures. she insists that they simply didn't want to bother jack, hes a very busy man after all. vaughn nods along with her.

vaughn starts assuming that yvette was the reason jack came over here- he couldnt blame the man. she was an attractive woman- and smart, and she definitely had the charisma to get far in hyperion. if vaughn could be attracted to women, he probably would have fallen fast and hard for yvette.

so, imagine his further shock when jack puts a hand on his shoulder.

he says hes gonna give vaughn the offer of a lifetime. he says he wants to take vaughn back to a room, that hes had enough mingling with the common folk and vaughn is who grabbed his attention.

now, jack is saying this with like. the full intention of killing vaughn. he wants a quick ego boost from giving some coomer dweeb the sex of his lifetime, then be done with him. he wants the ego boost of being someones best sexual encounter. this was basically a guarantee for that.

and vaughns like. freaking out mentally. whys handsome fucking jack being drawn to him?

so he downs the rest of his beer, chugging it as quick as he can. yvette hesitates stopping him. he knows denying jack this would lead to something not good, and hes sure letting this happen also wouldnt be good.

but what choice does he have?

he bites his lip as he looks at jack and says that he'll go, but that he needs to be drunker first.

and, of course, yvette asks if hes sure. and he can only shrug.

but jack seems happy by that. he buys vaughn more beer. as the accountant drinks and drinks, and once yvette leaves, jack gets vaughn to start talking. interests, hobbies, stuff like that.

the night goes on and on, and eventually jack is nearly dragging a red faced, laughing, blacked out vaughn to a private room.

and the next morning vaughn wakes up, rolled over to his side, and seems handsome jack right fucking there. and vaughn isnt dead.

and he wont die, for a long, long time.

[seaofsunbeams]

Fourth Wing / Iron Flame SPOILERS ahead

I just read these 2 books within like 5 days so let us talk about some theories shall we?

Be ready for a long rant about multiple theories

So first of, I saw some people hating on book 2 for not following the hype of Fourth Wings???? I admit it took me 4 days to get through Iron Flame and like not even a day for Fourth Wings BUT I think thats because IF is more lore heavy. IF is just as good as the first one imo!

Now to some theories

The mystery of Violet Sorrengail's second signet.

So I was like 1/3 of the way through the book when I got some spoilers about Xaden having a second signet without diving further in what it is and then people being like "Hey I wonder what Violet's would be". So I started reading with some more purpose

I have 2 theories so far and no, I don't think Violet is a Distance Wielder. Yes that signet hasnt been seen in decades or even centuries and Adarna waited almost 700 years to hatch WHICH WOULD ADD UP! But I feel like it's a little too much on the nose.

At first I thought Violet might be able to dreamwalk. would it be useful in combat? No. But seeing as Violet thrives on knowing the facts and what is around her and it probably manifesting while Adarna was in the Dreamless Sleep (bit contradicting).. It would explain Violet being able to talk to Sage and actual being able to gather information from it. But we also do not know enough about Venin to know if this power comes from them.

My other guess on her signet, as more people are talking about, is her speaking to the dead. Now hear me out, yes I know it is a common thing in books and stuff that on the brink of madness and dehydration and yada yada.... people can hallucinate. Is it a possibility that this is also still the case? Sure, but why does Liam tell her things she doesn't know? Or contradict her? Speaking to the dead could also apply that she is Spiritualy gifted thanks to her mother being sick during pregnacy. MAYBE Lilith praying to Malek asking him to not take her child came with the cost of making her 'fragile' . And as we learned and keep hearing:

"At its core, magic demands balance"

Also interesting how she can talk to Liam.. maybe because not ALL his stuff was burned??? I think they must burn it to cut off the connection between the mortal world and the plane they go to after death. Is this a Riders custom? Possibly but maybe Malek is more hoovering over the people bonded by dragons.

Now that that ramble is done.. could all of these be far fatched, oh definitely but it's a fantasy world so we are allowed to be

MOVING ON THEORY 2 !!!

Which is just me debunking the orange dragon theory. Why does everyone automatically assume Sgeayl doesnt trust Brennan because of his dragon?? Sure we know the orange dragons are unpredictable and their choice of rider mirrors that.. like look at both Jack and Varrish FUCKING UNHINGED if you ask me.

But why is no one going like "oh, it's because Brennan is the reason Tairn his last rider died" ?? Do we know if this almost killed Tairn, which FYI is Sgeayl's mate?? So she could still blame him for almost taking him from her. I'm not sure if we know if he almost died (its 2am and I needed this out my head to be able to sleep) after his riders death. But we do know that after the events took place Tairn was only ever spotted and distanced himself as far as we know, until he joined Adarna because even as a feathertail they couldnt keep her in check.

I also think Cam AKA Aaric will be WAY more important to the story like.. how will a third prince with pent up anger towards his father and the way he rules the kingdom not be able to siphon a powerfull signet

Well please enlighten me with you guys' thoughts because I'm obsessed and can't stop crying about Liam so distract me.

[teddy-feathers]

i hate my aunt.

she made another comment on if i wanted to take more pills or if i wated to grow up and deal with shit.

she does not get that if i didnt have the pills id already be dead. this is not hypothetical. i have wrecked my car on purpose several times, I have too many knives and access to medication and im just smart enough to be a danger to myself. one day i took like a handfull of my actual medication because it was going to fucking help or the next handfull of pills i took wouldnt be to help. and you know what. it fucking helped.

and its not oh youre just reacting badly to stress. no. even when everything was fine id find ways to be stressed or miserable or apathetic. in fact when things were at their best i was often at my worst - and that was after i got back reconnected with family got past the shame started working with a therapist had a job was doing good... and i was still thinking of killing myself. still having days where funtioning was too much like being skinned alive. still being fucking at war with myself from being too up and too down at the same time. and i was doing good. everything was finally better and had been better for a while and i was actively or passively sabotaging that.

and you know what? if there was a possible way to bootstrap myself better, idve fucking found it by now. so being medicated is like actually good for me. and i know it is because when i forget to take my meds or like right now when im switching meds and im fucking miserable and struggling to even pretend to be a person. like im managing to maintain an illusion but its not my best work let me tell you.

that and my best fucking friend are the only reason i called my shrink to say "yeah i actually am not okay" after a week of fucking going "dying sounds nice right now" like honestly and truely if it werent for my best friend id just give up trying.

like i get it. im in a bad place right now and youre worried and you think you know best. but the second you said that snide fucking comment i basically stopped listening. im so fucking furious.

ill give you drug seeking behavior. ill give you taking the god damn easy way out. (she did not say this but you can understand why i think its implied from her fucking attitude)

like. god i want to tell her so bad to stop making comments about it, to just fucking forget im medicated if thats what it takes. because the next time she makes a comment about it that will be the end of the conversation. that is the boundary im setting. that will be the end of the conversation.

but i dont have the fucking balls to set boundries do i.

like. i am sick right now. mentally.

im glad my knives are mostly in the car. im glad my best friend expects me to get up in the morning and gibe her a hug before work. im less glad that i cant bring myself to do things i need to keep my life running but ive got some leeway and hopefully my meds will level me out soon enough that no actual issues arrise. im glad that i might get out of this without fucking up my life or whatever. im glad that this isnt a couple of years ago where suicide seemed like an actual option and i couldnt roll my eyes as i lay here and rot and go "Yeah whatever your being dramatic" and that i know and *can* get up and get fluids and food when im rotting so im not actively making myself worse while i want for it to pass.

i hate that i do have to wait for it to pass. that i feel like if i do certain things it will trigger my own personal apocalypse or breakdown or something. i hate that my thoughts are variations of "i wish i was dead"

but because of the medication, even not at the right level, im not going to drive off the side of the road to deal with my problems.

i hate myself yeah but i hate my aunt and her shitty ass comments.

[chavatangakwunua]

sometimes i think about what happens next after one of my failed runs

imagine, anton rayne, cleaned up his predecessors' mess with a vaguely centrist economic revival and a more democratic constitution but gave up to rumburg like a coward even though the army situation wasnt even that bad (it was and i lost to them in this run but let's assume i didnt)

obviously everyone is mad as fuck at rayne for losing all that territory. he just went from a pretty good president to the SCREED OF THE EARTH AND A TRAITOR.

rayne knows this all too well and resigns. retreats out of the public eye and moves to some nondescript house at the edge of the city with the wife and kids.

nobody vists him for years. everyone eventually thinks he died or something. good riddance.

then comes a knock at his door. rayne opens it to see none other than lucian galade himself.

anton smiles at him and invites him in. lucian looks a little taken aback at anton's state. anton notices and says, "not what you expected, huh?"

"it just, does not look like a house worthy of a former president, that's all."

"it's an okay house, just like how i was an okay president. and my childhood home was much worse than this."

"right." lucian uncharacteristically is at a loss for words.

"if youre wondering where the rest of the family is, the kids have both grown old and moved out. monica is still working to further the rights of women in the country so she isn't at home most of the time." anton's face doesn't change except for a slight tick in his left hand. "or, more realistically, she couldnt stand to see my face after i sold the country off to rumburg. she has her own house now."

lucian sees that all the family photos he remembers lining the walls in anton's old house (hes only ever been there once but he has a good memory) are gone. theres a few left, of deana with her friends in kyrute, franc with his wife in united contana, cut-outs of photos of monica in the newspapers. university pictures of anton and petr.

"what about you, mr vice president? i see you still havent married."

lucian shakes his head.

"no. and i see you've been keeping up with the news." of course. rayne mustve seen at least the headlines when scouring for mentions of his (ex?) wife in the papers. of course he didnt miss his old advisor lucian galade managing to score himself the vice presidency without him.

"im not mad," anton assures. "its hopeful to see at least someone surviving the dumpster fire of my presidency unscathed."

"i know," lucian says. anton laughs at this. lucian just stays tightlipped like he always is.

lucian keeps returning after this. brings him expensive wine and cigars and sweets. anton jokingly accuses him of corruption and lucian shuts him down. they play chess. anton tells him about work (he teaches economics) and his personal life (can you BELIEVE what my next door neighbour did yesterday??). lucian, meanwhile, doesnt ever talk about his work or his personal life.

one time anton babbles about something one of his students spat in his face once. hes laughing it off but lucian is bothered. he asks why he lets his students speak to him like that and anton tries to wave it off. "im used to it," he says. "and he was right."

the conversation turns to anton's old presidency.

"why did you do it?" lucian asks.

"i was scared. i knew our army was good but not good enough, and we didnt have enough allies to fill in the gaps. we wouldve lost. and to save everyone the trouble i wouldve killed myself." he turns his hand into a shape of a finger gun and places it on his own head. he mimes a pow and his brain getting blown. "maybe i shouldve done it anyway."

lucian tells him to knock it off. anton just giggles (its the alcohol isnt it) and mumbles something about simply following petr's path.

lucian apologizes for bringing it up but anton keeps on going. how nobody would miss him anyway, how everyone was right, how hes a stain on the nation that must be cleansed

lucian slaps him hard enough to startle anton out of his funk and says lucian is going to miss him, so he better not do it.

anton sputters out an apology, looking completely flushed (is it still the alcohol?) and then they kiss