#theres a lot more that i could explain but its hard to put into words

[unicornsaures]

What the FUCK is going on with the Henry-William dynamic and why theyre like That because i think ive put this post off long enough:

tw // mentions of shitty parents, overdose/suicide🤥

Okay so the simplest answer I can give you is codependence. Thats the only way i can describe their dynamic. Henry needs William and William needs Henry! This isnt in a strictly romantic or strictly platonic sense, either. They were both set to meet at one of the lowest points in their life with only each other to go to, so its just easier for them to just stick with each other. Williams trust is fucked up and Henry is just..he just likes having William around because they understand each other. I mean, both of them had suffered through shitty childhoods with Henry having a deadbeat mother and living in poverty and William with an abusive father. They just get each other and it just brought them closer to the point they just couldnt live without each other.

Now, their relationship also isnt the healthiest, either. Its full of jealousy and the whole "I need you" thing just fucks them up a lil bit more. At the same time, though, its worse for them to be apart. I mean, they genuinely need each other to feel okay because each of them posesses qualities the other doesnt, and being apart for too long brings them genuine distress. Thats why theyre always either written, or drawn together. Theyre a pair and its rare for them to be separated if not by force.

Though the main reason I talk about them not being healthy is heavily influenced by how Henry reacts to Williams death: erraticly. I mean, he loses himself the moment William "leaves him."(Thats what it feels like to him, at least.) He becomes impulsive, self destructive, etc because the fact of the matter is, he genuinely needed william to feel okay. William knew Henry for around 25 years, taking up the better part of his life, and when hes always there, Henry didnt really think it was possible to live a life without him there, so ultimately Henry didnt care if he himself died afterwards. He naturally stopped caring because ein his eyes, he was living for william. With william gone, he basically lost the one thing he was living for and the only reason he stayed another 6 months was because he wasnt actively trying to die, it just happened when he was being careless.

On a seperate note, and the question I keep being asked, are they dating? And for that, Its kind of complicated. They arent just friends, but they arent really dating, either. Its something in between, especially post-war when theres no reason that theyre ever apart. They take on an almost domestic kind of style with each other? Like theres more physical touch than one would deem "friendly" whether that be a hand on the cheek, playing with hair, etc. But its for means of comfort. But do they have feelings for each other? By 1785, yeah, but nothing is done about it. They were content being their own thing that isnt romantic and isnt platonic and yayy good for them they were happy with each other and a little bit gay and a LOTTA bit codependent but thats basically their dynamic ^_^

[gatorbites-imagines]

Male Reader spanking zoro after he put himself in danger? But zoro is still defending himself so reader becomes actually angry at zoro for not thinking about himself (or reader and how reader would live without him) and leaves zoro in the middle of the punishment before he says something he regrets and avoids zoro the next few days until the crew is like "this can't go on" and traps them together for an entire day in a room. They both break easily and end up cuddling for the most part (after some creampies)

Roronoa Zoro x male reader

headcanons

I love Zoro so much, its not even funny anymore.

Punishing Zoro was a chore in an of itself, since hes such a tough guy used to most types of pain. This also leads to him being very into painplay, so most usual methods of punishments don’t work on him.

It would take a lot of spanking to get Zoro to buckle, which is why he easily talks back when you do end up spanking him as punishment. Normally you would do something more advanced, mixing it with something else, but this time you are so worked up about almost losing him that you don’t have the energy.

Even as you scold him and tell him what a dumb idea it was to jump into danger like that, Zoro stats resolute in his decision, just squaring his shoulders and stabilizing his stance, letting you take your hand or paddle or whatever you’re using on him.

It ends up having the opposite effect of what you’re going for, since Zoro is probably still running on adrenaline from the fight you just got back from. Instead of making him cry and apologize, it has him shuddering and moaning, eye clenching shut as he tries to push his hips back at you.

But even then, he still defends what he did, even when you say you could have lost him, since its his duty as the strawhats swordsman and first mate.

It makes you so angry and makes your heart hurt so much you know you just need to step back before you say or do something you’ll regret, so you just lift your hands, step back, and leave with an angry exhale.

After being left wanting and shuddering like that, Zoro probably starts to feel kinda petty and wronged too, cuz he doesn’t see why you are so worked up about what he did.

So, you two start avoiding each other, and the ship gets super tense for literally everyone, especially since neither you or Zoro will tell the rest of the crew what is up. They all just know you two probably had a fight, and a bad one at that with how you guys are acting.

It starts to take a toll on the rest of the crew when you guys’ won’t even be in the same room together, or even talk to each other. They know it’s especially bad when you guys stop sleeping in the room Franky built specifically for you two, when you became a couple.

The next time the crew needs to restock, its probably Luffy that ends up trapping you guys in your room together, as he doesn’t want his crew to fight, and cuz literally everyone has been walking on eggshells.

This results in you and Zoro being trapped inside your room the entire day as the crew it away getting supplies and whatever they do on new islands.

Theres a lot of tense silence as you both sit on either side of the room, not even looking at each other for a while. I’m not even sure who cracks first and starts talking, if you are just as stubborn as Zoro.

But one of you starts opening up about it, and you end up explaining how much it hurts that Zoro cares so little for his own safety, and that he would just leave you behind so easily. Zoro, whos never really thought about it that deeply, feels his heart break that you thought he didn’t love you enough to want to stay.

Cue Zoro saying some super heartfelt thing about how you mean so much to him, and one of the reasons he tries to hard to keep the crew safe is cuz he loves you so much. He isn’t the best with words, but he gets it out in a way that has your heart warming up.

It ends up with you guys actually talking about your emotions, and with you two tumbling into bed together, kissing like you haven’t seen each other in months. Its surprisingly soft from both of you, kissing and touching and being so loving.

The breath is completely knocked out of you when Zoro starts riding you, because how couldn’t it, having all 198 lb. of muscular swordman bouncing up and down on your cock, his callused hands gripping at your shoulders or chest.

Zoro takes riding you as serious as any of his other exercise, his eye serious and face flushed as he uses just his thighs to lift and lower himself, not even letting you help in thrusting up into him. You just end up holding his hips and groping his torso, going along with the ride.

You guys are probably lucky that the entire crew is off the ship, or else they’d hear how loud Zoro moans when you hit his prostate and take his pecs into your mouth at the same time. You’ll probably end up with a headache from how hard he pulls your hair though, he loses track of his strength sometimes when riding you.

You get exhausted much longer before Zoro does, overstimulation sending electricity through your entire body as Zoro keeps riding you, even when your first load is squelching right out of him around your shaft.

Hes a beast, but he’s your beast, and if being sucked dry like a juice box is what it takes, you’ll happily do it. It just ends up with you feel extra dehydrated and shaky legged. This is why you normally wring him out in the beginning, so you can keep up with his insane stamina.

After Zoro has had his fill and painted your torso white with his own spend, he flops down beside you and buries his face into your neck, just inhaling you and needing you close.

You would end up clinging to him too, mumbling something about how you don’t wanna lose him, to which Zoro replies that you wont if he has anything to say about it.

Cue lots of softer and loving kisses and caresses, sweet words mumbled just between lovers, before you guys fall asleep. Zoro most likely ends up asleep first, for once completely asleep instead of the type of half naps he normally takes.

When the crew returns later, some of them will be able to guess immediately what you guys were up too, especially if your knees are still feeling weak from how much Zoro drained you.

But you guys are talking and back to acting like you normally do, so that’s all that matters. I could see Nami teasing you guys about it though, whilst Robin just laughs a little to herself because its entertaining.

[deafeninggardenerpanda]

i'd love to hear about manmaru metadede !!! i heard it's really Gay but no one ever details it. not a lot of it is translated too, as far as i know, but i really like it.. any excuse to talk about something you like is good too

NO YEA not a lot is translated and the manga itself is already more niche compared to like, mopupupu so its not too well known. translation efforts have really started picking up the past year though (shoutout to @/kirby-manga-translated they do great work). if it needed to be restated for new followers since i havent tl'd in a while, i know a decent amount of japanese so i read them on my own :)c

shoutout to my guy @/rosakikoza as well for giving me his scans hehe. the majority of images below are his or taken from his scans. the rest are mine

*deep breath* the tangent. im gonna need to put this under a cut dont mind me 😍😍😍 did i say 3 paragraphs? i meant 20. like 20 paragraphs

meta knight is absolutely pathetic and incredibly down bad for dedede this manga. its adorable. multiple people ive talked to or seen have come to the conclusion it seems like he has a huge crush on him. a quick brief for those who dont know but this mangas meta is admittedly Veryyyyy different from how you'd expect a meta knight to be. uncharacteristically friendly and cheerful and. pathetic is really the best word for it. hes kinda a loser. incredibly protective of dedede, he switches between two modes of fussing over him quite a bit and semi-often going into incredible rage bloodlust modes over protecting him or his image (youll see a good amount of jp fanwork depict this version of him as a yandere for that reason)

theres also been more than one occasion where meta knight tries to commit seppuku upon accidently doing something he sees as unforgivable towards his king (its in the chapter i just screenshotted above too, another time he broke dededes clock and freaked out about it). i-. dont consider this a cute ship thing for the record im just stating it to emphasize the extent of metas obsession towards dedede this manga. the mans got Problems...

apart from that, also quite differing from most interpretations of both of them, both of them seem to genuinely really like spending time around each other all the time. it comes off as casually domestic and is very cute...

regardless of my attempts to brief it, i dont feel like im explaining this very well so lemme just show you a frankly ridiculous amount of reasons for why i keep feeling like this mangaka ships metadede

-fake kiss: self explanatory

-fake proposal: also self explanatory

mk: Will you marry me!?

ddd: Yes!

context for this scene is that theyre rehearsing for a play, but actually its later revealed that meta knight is playing the princess while dedede is playing the male protag so im not exactly sure it makes sense that hes the one proposing here. my speculation is that to make the proposal seem legit for the gag they Had to use meta LMAO but thats just my take

also to be noted, right after kirby hears the proposal he immediately runs off and tries to tell everyone the news before ddd+mk stop him and explain that its fake. hes not thrown off or weirded out at the idea that they could be getting married in the slightest. kirby says gay rights Real i love him sm

-this one is from what i call the memory loss chapter:

dedede loses his memories from getting hit in the head too hard. the gang figures out that beating dedede up or otherwise causing him injury causes him to regain some of them back though, to which kirby attempts to harm him with increasingly violent means, much to meta knights horror. mk spends the entire chapter trying to protect dedede from him, and it doesnt work obviously, but after a particularly hard hit dedede remembers everyone again... except for meta knight. to which meta knight gets upset about and lets kirby lay into dedede for real. you see where people get the yandere personality from now right. i dont recall this trait coming out too often but ill talk more about it later

-the whole chapter thats a cinderella retelling with dedede and meta knight. also also self explanatory COME ON LOOK AT THIS ONE. LOOK AT IT.

mk: Y…You're…

ddd: Wow, he's so beautiful!! It's like I'm dreaming…!

-theres the mangaka chapter which is a more recent one

the gang makes manga for dedede. meta knight's manga is about how cool, brave, and heroic dedede is. mysteriously enough however the only thing hes good at is drawing dededes face and nothing else. the implications of this one drive me absolutely insane. is it supposed to imply that meta knight stares at his face all day?? admires his appearance??? he looks at him so much he basically has his face memorized????? HUH???????? theres no heterosexual explanation for this. acting like a teenager with a crush out here got damn

=various images im sharing out of context because they r cute

head pats. holding hands and reaching the goal together. peak.

KNIGHT DRESSUP FOR THE KNIGHT. AHAAHGH

ddd: Hoho, pretty spiffy don'cha think?

mk: Ohh!? It suits you!!

fellas is it gay to shout "OHH! META KNIGHT!!" with a dopey grin on your face upon being saved like a damsel in distress

sometimes meta knight acts domestic as fuck too. his copy abilities as he states are: cook! clean!! and sleep!!!

regarding my thoughts on their dynamic in this series overall, i think theyre absolutely adorable. meta knight emits dog energy in this one. eager golden retriever towards dedede, though dedede has his sweet moments towards meta knight too. (viewing it with a shipping lens just for this post ofc) while meta is the more active crusher, some of the stuff above seems to imply that dedede has feelings in return as well :') they just get along really well too its great. theres a different chapter where they perform as a comedy duo. theyve done plays in multiple chapters. its my hc for these versions of them that they love doing performances of all kinds together and do a lot of rehearsals and writing in their free time...

and the yandere stuff i feel like i should address as well. i try not to take some aspects Too seriously because its to be expected things are over emphasized for the sake of the joke with gag mangas. but oh man the man definitely has problems. he needs therapy. i tried to be transparent in listing those aspects as well so people can make their own conclusions on it But theres one more thing id like to mention regarding that

meta knights personality has been shifting to be different from what i listed, as of the most recent volume. my beloved forgotten land arc... a first for this series in that, while the chapters still retain their gag humor and dont take themselves that seriously, its a serialized story that mostly follows along with the game plot that lasts nearly the whole volume (as opposed to other game arcs in this manga being episodic stories, using the games as their theme rather than a full on setting). with the more serious tone of the serialized story, theres a frankly startling hint of character development i never wouldve expected from a gag manga at the end of it

kirby gets ko'd the first round of the meta knight cup so meta knight joins the meta knight cup instead. turns out when he does that the final boss of the cup is dedede. meta knight Really doesnt want to hurt dedede and so dedede promptly kicks his ass without a second thought and wins the tournament. while the crowd cheers for dedede's victory, meta and dedede have a small talk where dedede tells him he doesnt need to fuss so much about hurting him/him getting hurt. presumably this is supposed to mark the end of meta knights intense overprotectiveness because (its never been clear-cut due to the nature of the manga previously, so its a lil hard to say) dededes shown he can handle himself, or like, isnt some fragile thing. i really hope itll stick around because i think its a great addition to both of their characters. the meta-knights have also been appearing way more frequently as of very recent chapters (ones that havent been compiled into a volume yet) which seem to also hint to meta knight getting more independence to his character from dedede's loyal servant. im very excited to see where it goes :D

and like, last last disclaimer if anyone needed it; even tho i love metadede and i like to see things through ship glasses sometimes i absolutely try my best to keep my biases out of my translations. putting out accurate translations means a lot to me! this entire post is me purposely putting the ship glasses on so please dont take it as "omg metadede is canon in this manga". you know way back when i was the only active translator for this manga someone tweeted at the mangaka on twitter mentioning that there were english translations around and he replied to that person. didnt respond to the fan translation thing specifically but the fact that he could know who i am definitely kinda terrifies me. if anyone goes around saying that his manga is the metadede manga because of me and he even has the slightest sliver of a chance of seeing that i will kill yall fr LOL

[heterophobicdyke]

that post of yours about your mom promising to leave your dad and then just forgetting it after sex - gosh. i cant tell you how much i felt that. seeing your dad be a piece of fucking trash to your mom, her crying and screaming and you trying to console her, help her, and THEN they have sex and she sweeps it under the rug. and then it's all repeated all over again, same situation, no resolving it. its the worst fucking feeling. and there comes a point where youre like "i love you mom. but im so fucking done. and i cant protect you if you keep going back. you keep choosing it over and over again and you keep letting him hurt you and your kids and you dont care. you care about him more." and you stop caring because how could you. it only hurts you. she forgets it the next day but it stays with you forever. there are no words to explain it, it is genuinely the most disappointing and heartbreaking thing.

this is also when i start being like ofc i will support women trying to get out of abusive relationships and i know it can be really hard, but at some point its up to you to figure it the fuck out. ESPECIALLY when theres children involved. if you can see your man hurting your daughter and you STILL go back to him, you STILL want and love him then no one can help you. of course the man doing this is a horrible piece of shit, but that doesnt mean the woman is blameless. how do i find the empathy for you when you cant find the empathy for your children. how do i feel bad for you when you keep choosing to put yourself and your children (who have done nothing to deserve this) in harm's way.

idk i have a lot of thoughts and just pain surrounding this but i appreciate you for sharing that and i just wanted you to know how much it resonated with me. i love your blog btw and thanks for keeping it real

Thank you 🫂 ♥️

[karin-miyoshi]

Do you think yuyuyu is ableist?

sheesh, talk about a loaded question

definitely opens up a lot of rabbit holes. ill give my opinion, but note im not the most educated on the subject itself so giving a definite answer is outside my scope.

ill put a read below, but for me, i personally think it isnt, but can be easily misinterpreted as is on a surface level.

tldr, ableism is discrimination towards those with disabilities.

the character in question most of the time when it comes to these topics is tougou, who uses a wheelchair in season 1 due to losing function in her legs. there are never any distasteful jokes made about this, and the show constantly shows various handicap friendly services throughout the show. something even more surprising is that these are never the core focus of the scene or pointed out, its always well integrated into the world as if it were normal (important).

just skimming through s1, we have:

wheelchair assistance integration for both cars and stairs

special swim courses for the disabled, not separated from the rest of the class

beach wheelchairs and separate assistants

now while we can assume a lot of these were due to her previous service as washio sumi, i dont think that would really be fair to the production team putting these in, and it really feels like theres a lot more heart than "yeah we put these for the big shock value realization later on". even after regaining function in her legs near the end of the season, tougou's priority was always towards yuuna and her recovery.

onto the next topic, which is the show taking away and then returning these characters functions throughout. whats important to consider here is what is considered tragic, is it the characters living without these certain functions, or is it the act of losing these functions themselves?

"It'll definitely improve. I mean, we haven't done anything wrong." (Fuu, s1ep9) again, no distasteful jokes made about their disabilities, and fuu even plays it off with her sick eyepatch. her worries instead stem from the loss of itsuki's dream, in the form of her no longer being able to sing. thats the key factor here, being punished for doing what is right, losing the ability to do what you could do before, losing the memories of the time you spent with your friends. (thats another thing i see with a lot of these arguments, they always bring up physical disabilities, but ive never seen one actually talk about ones regarding memory, arguably the most precious thing to them). tougou flat out doesnt remember sonoko at all despite being comrades in arms before, and understandably freaks out that the same might happen with her and yuuna.

now, understandably, the ending to s1 seemed super rushed, and them getting their bodily functions back seemed rather sudden. this put a lot of people off, and was really only explained in s2, which many didnt watch.

people should be allowed to grieve if they lose something important to them, and should be allowed to be happy if they get it back. personally, i dont think people realize the weight of their words when they say, "oh i wish karin wouldve stayed deaf, itd be really cool to see the club members learning sign language for it" or "yuuna in a wheelchair was really cute, i wish we saw more of it." yeah its a cool idea i guess, maybe something to see while theyre stil recovering, but forever? in a chase to see more representation, i hope they realize what they are wishing onto others eventually (even if fictional). while many with disabilities are satisfied with their life, they should be able to wish for better if they wanted to, its not like theyd wish their circumstances on anyone else, right? shouldnt the same apply here, to the girls who've actually lived both with and without disabilities?

just my two cents, hope this wasnt too hard to read! theres a lot more i could write up, especially regarding sonoko, but thats a whole other discussion i should probably save for another time

[utterlybrainwrecked]

If you tell me your ocs I'll rant about mine

okay okay !! im gonna cut out some of the less palatable parts of their stories for right now because i dont think id do them justice in a ramble like this but yknow

under cut because it might get long

if this makes no sense i am so sorry i have a clear idea i just cant put it into words.

Plot (kinda):

so essentially the plot of the story revolves around a fools quest / prophecy that’s been spread by the higher ups in order to bring together a strong nation for their own purposes (war, etc)

we have three (four?) main characters, each of them from different regions of the land, and two of them are on this quest for their own respective reasons.

the other two are up in the mountains, it wouldn’t be feasible for them to leave on this quest for multiple reasons (see character info below)

then theres a bunch more that i could get into but i wanna ramble about other stuff first.

-

Characters:

althea. (it/she) (cyclops)

some type of nobility, almost completely blind (<- not just her, its entire race is hard of sight, though some have it worse than others)

thea relies heavily upon on her guard rosie to advise any decision making because it had an ‘incident’ a while back that messed up its brain / memories.

has been friends with rosie since she was young.

rosie (she/any) <- will use only she/her on herself but doesn’t care to correct others because she views herself less as a person and more as an object (/neg) (cat)

caused the incident. trying to keep it a secret. still assigned guard to althea, has a lot of power over her. very confused and upset by althea when she was younger. (due to thea’s royalty, it’s unaware of how guards are treated. rosie was assigned to someone before thea who did not treat her well at all)

she’s under a lot of stress mentally.

-

(honestly i was gonna explain the delta / dio lore but im mostly focused on rosie + althea for now so ill ramble about them some other time)

[jkpng]

could u pls explain what drew you to koobi. like they are lowkey underrated and i adore them and i wanna hear you yap about them

omg ur about to regret asking. i love koobi so much wtf i have a bunch of word vomit bc im very bad at articulating my thoughts

okok first of all jungkook and hobi are both biases individually so whenever they’re in the same frame all my neurons set on fire. anyways ik jungkook has the golden maknae title (deserved) but i feel like its not widely recognized As Much the way hobi is also a golden ace like they’re both sooooo good at everything. and thats jungkooks Thing™️ but like. hoseok is SO fucking good at dancing and so good at rapping and so good at songwriting/producing and ALSO so good at singing and he (also jin) is such a morale booster and icebreaker and i feel like he warms up every room hes in. but also he takes his craft so seriously and his dance teacher side is so intense and respectable. and like ofc they’re all insanely talented and passionate but i feel like jungkook and hobi are kinda two sides of the same coin and idk im ENDEARED………and also their solo music i just . love nearly everything they put out like theyre batting 99.9% for me. (and their harmonizing drives me crazy) also i feel like i have weirdly a lot in common with jungkook and i wanna be him soooo bad while hobi is everything i am not but adore in other people 😭

+ tiktoks im submitting to the court as evidence (bc i cant add more than 1 vid to a post 🤬) cried. making the little one laugh. CRIED. CRIEDDDDD

BUT ANYWAYS the koobi of it all…………..i feel like out of all the dynamics in bts i understand why they’re underrated cuz like. for example namgi or vmin u could write fucking essays abt those pairs and the depth of their relationships. but for koobi i feel like its a lot quieter like idk if theres as much to Say abt their relationship but their closeness shows if ur paying attention yk. idk theres just this softness and warmth between them that rlly gets to me like everyone babies jk but i feel like hobi babies him in a really particular way where im like. wtf thats HIS BABY. but also his baby is gonna kill all the bugs for him. like idk the sheer number of clips where jungkook is hanging off hobi and cuddling him (and sniffing him 😭) is so touching to meeeee………like it just. gives the impression that hobi is such a safe space for him and it makes me wanna cry and throw up. and also how hobi said the maknae line follows him around. like little ducklings. like what the fuck they love and admire him so much and i love seeing hobi be adored like he DESERVESSSS

also 1) in bv4 when hobi is filming jungkook on the swing. 2) in soop1 when jungkook is playing lost stars on the guitar for hobi. 3) jungkook crying when hobi was going to leave. 4) jungkook scheduling around being able to send hobi off. cries so hard i start gagging like wtf. idk i just feel like theres so much love and admiration between them. and obv i dont Actually know but their dynamic just seems uncomplicated and safe like every time theyre around each other it just radiates WARMTH u know. idk. walking into the pacific ocean rn

anyways koobi compilation

[pigeon3gg]

swifties please dont kill me for this but i genuinely could not finish tortured poets department i got like 13 songs in and i was cringing so hard i could not continue (this is a long post fair warning)

the instrumentals are good i will give her that. i enjoyed the instrumentals a lot and they were all very unique from each other which was cool and gave each song an intrique. HOWEVER

her vocals on all of these songs (apply "at least for the ones i heard" to literally everything i say btw) sound exactly the same. if i wasnt paying so much attention to the instrumentals they would all sound the same. i know "all her songs sound the same" is a common critique she gets and its often untrue but oh my god it is BAD on this one gang!!

my second issue is these fucking lyrics. WHAT was she thinking with these!!! you could put a 😈 emoji after everything shes saying and it wouldnt change anything!! the whole thing is giving "i could be ur angle or ur devil" (insert debby ryan smirk) and it unironically in full seriousness made me cringe.

"im down bad😈 fuck it if i cant have him" stop it please

"you said you loved me but where were the clues" ??? not necessarily bad but such a strange way of saying this???

"but daddy i love him im having his baby, no im not, but oh my god you should see your faces" ???

"all the bodies that have ever been on my body" again this one isnt BAD per se but a really clunky and strange way of putting it

the lyrics arent all HORRIBLE but a lot of these are just very confusing?? like i understand what shes TRYING to say but its very convoluted and its often just worded strangely like an alien wrote it

theres a couple other strange/weird lines other people have mentioned already but the one that made me stop listening was "lights camera bitch smile" i cant explain why this made me cringe so bad i just. dont like this.

anyway thats my thoughts on taylors new album (or the first thirteen songs anyway bc thats far as i got) i might try to pick it back up again tomorrow so if i have any more thoughts i guess youll see those?? idk lmao

again please dont murder me for this im not trying to say "all taylor swift fans are stupid and taylor is evil" or anything i just really disliked this album

[starry622]

hello, im oliver, or v for short. i am 20 years old, bodily. im an artist, a dog, and the host of a system.

ive got bpd, hpd, dpd, and schizophrenia, all of which, of course, affect the system. my biggest psychotic symptom is that of clinical lycanthropy and cynanthropy, which you will see reflected often on this blog (especially under the tag #clinical zoanthropy). i cant effectively be reality checked, at least in this regard, so dont even try it. more info on this under the cut. :]

im very into social justice, mogai/liom, art, and general fandom stuff

i now have a somewhat stable home, but i still take donations, as i lost my job last month and currently have no way to make any money besides commissions and donations. i work hard every day applying to every job i can possibly find, following up on applications, and getting interviews, but that does not fund the cost of living in the meantime. im working to put up a commissions carrd (that will also function as a mini portfolio), though i will still be taking commissions before the carrd is finalized. i havent had a meal in a week, so i could really use the money, if anyone is willing to help.

if you need a dni, my basic boundaries are that proshippers, pro-contact harmful paraphiles, and radqueers dont interact. i do, however, have a byf, which is on my carrd (linked below)

my personal carrd is here: [link]

my commission carrd is: still unfinished

my cashapp is: $Starry622

do be warned, my tumblr webtheme (starry622.tumblr.com) is not safe for those who are sensitive to flashing or eyestrain. there is no necessary info on my webtheme, so you will not ever have to visit it for any reason.

for more zoanthropy info: my body can morph and change to become more canine-like, and it can go through certain stages. human-> boy with canine features -> full canine (with the regular animal anatomy) or werecanine (more like a hollywood werewolf) and my transformations can cause pain and discomfort, though i mostly just feel fur sprouting and my organs shifting. my mind is that of a humans, however my soul and dna are that of a canines.

i dont really know what a p-shifter is, but i guess you could call me one? i dont think shifting is something you can learn anyways and i cant control it, so i feel like most people either can or cant shift. theres always exceptions to the rule, however, not that i would be teaching anyone how, especially because that seems like a dangerous move for all involved parties. plus, i dont even know how i do it, i just do, so id be useless for that.

i dont know what the deal is and why i am both a wolf and a dog, and my identity as a whole is definitely more dog, all i know is that its me. thats why i use canine instead of specific dog or wolf when speaking generally, because "dog or wolf" is a mouthful.

i dont identify with the word human, but its easier to explain that way. i am more a person. my brain is and stays that of a sentient, sapient person living in a human society. im culturally human, you could say.

rarely, ill have short-ish bouts where i am a different animal, usually on top of being a canine, which confuses me, but i choose to go with the flow about it. if i think too too much about it, im afraid ill confuse myself more than just suddenly becoming a lagothrope/kounanthrope (family including rabbits, bunnies, hares) and accepting it until its over. i dont know what those little bouts are about, and i kinda dont wanna know!

i identify with my diagnosed clinical label simply because i experience a lot of double bookkeeping (i believe thats what its called). im aware of myself in some ways, and see how others see me alongside how i see myself. this is also exactly why reality checking doesnt work on me. i am aware of my symptoms, and i believe the delusions and semi-rare hallucinations that act as proof of my true self. my experience is constant clashing in that way, like i can see more than everyone else, but it rarely causes a problem, and so i go with it. no use fighting it. im a lazy dog, if youll forgive the pun.

[itsbenedict]

ok so im reading through Almost Nowhere and i have Complaints about it's structure and wanted to vent but also not to the point of actually commenting on the thing itself. (its a Well-made story. this all comes from a place of admiration/love for the thing so i didnt want to put it in a public tag)

So after seeing you reblog the ending announcement i started reading it. current spot is chapter xxi, or sylvie vs hector's forces. (is sylvie just a jadesprite expy. is hector just a Dirk/Dave. is that what is going on. ugh it figures. anyway.)

pros: premise fills that timeline bullshit appetite, and has some fascinating evolutions of its timeline and the puzzle therein. the actual setup and climax of the Annes escape story was very exciting, and the notebooks are a fascinating conceit. and the entire story could be summarized as "hey aliens put everyone in mini The Matrix realities and people gotta figure out how to deal with that/escape?" which is a pretty good premise. the Annes were my favorite part.

cons:

due to being about timeline bullshit and specifically miscommunication causing disaster, it also is incredibly hard to parse even when it's trying to be clear. i get the multiple narrator conceit, and i get that Azad is glued to a thesaurus, but it feels like its getting in it's own way way more often than not. Its doing the "im using the more complicated word to sound smart rather than be accurate or communicate my message" thing, and its hard to parse how much of that is purposeful. I found it exhausting after a few hundred pages.

as time loops are a core aspect of the story, most of the characters feel like they have very little actual impact or agency on the plot. they're protagonists as designated, but grant and cordelia do very little of note- where i am now Grant's basically just a guy to get explained at and he got addicted to a sub-reality game for a while. he is important because sylvie is his dog, but beyond pining for Azad and getting things explained to him, Grant doesnt feel like he Does anything

however Grant is still my favorite character because he's the only one who actually says "what the fuck are you talking about, explain it better" which the entire text desperately needs.

its gotten to the point that the text's own coy obfuscation of itself has made me disconnect from caring about the characters- and that's Poisonous.

the story makes its Stakes either too big or too small. its either about a characters self doubts or its about finding a way to escape a reality by killing it's god. but theres very little in-between, or focuses on how one relates to the other. its hard to care when the stakes are too high (unrelateable), and its hard to care when theyre too low for too long (character feels whiny and passive).

its best done in the Annes story- her personal turmoil over her incredibly bizarre circumstances leading to resentment and action- killing her father-god- were united and flowed into each other. usually an escalation of stakes is accompanied by development of character. but beyond the Annes, i feel like there are no characters who have developed. theres no proactivity that feels like itll actually change things. its just characters that have been acted upon (not-entertaining). (and i get that time loop bullshit makes that point hard but its also sapping the enjoyment of reading the overall story itself and needs to be addressed.)

at this point i feel like the plot has become concerned with it's own telling, which is arguably what's actually happening- everything is being written because timeloop bullshit demands it and everyone caught inside is powerless to struggle against it, including the audience- but im not finding it entertaining anymore. I want to care about the characters more, but the text is reinforcing it's own disassociation-themes to the point where its getting unfun to read.

to be fair- i did read up to where i am over the course of two days, which is a Lot to take in at once. even on release this wasnt a story thats binge-friendly and im probably bouncing off of it's weirdness because i havent had time to digest it. However it's fascinating in its setups- in the questions it asks and the puzzles of the world, its just failing to provide characters that match. and maybe it has, and has just been presented deliberately obtusely and i missed the point- (which is an in-text theme! But also I can't explore that theme if the audience's participation is lost so it still is a Bad Thing!) which i would also argue is a Problem, not a success.

anyway anyway Flower that Bloomed Nowhere slaps and its mystery structure serves as a great device to convey the otherwise Intricate worldbuilding (and i like how said worldbuilding is usually introduced only as it has context to a Motive or as a Clue because it makes said worldbuilding feel meaningful which is nice) and im excited to see what happens next hope you have a good day byeeeee

hm- well, uh, i think a pretty good chunk of AN's readership is in my general orbit on here, so you're gonna get roughly the same effect as putting it in the tag, but-

i mean, the thing with AN is that... the main thing you're down on it for is sort of the whole game it's playing. first it introduces a concept in a bizarre, flowery, obfuscatory way that's playing around with language- and then it does that again, and again, from various angles, with different sorts of obfuscation, so you slowly get a picture of the concept through a sort of blind-men-and-the-elephant process. that's the fun of it, that's the game, doing a deep dive on the presentational tomfoolery to try and figure out what's going on before it just tells you.

that's what Grant's there for- he says "what the fuck are you talking about, explain it better", after it's already gone a few rounds of deliberately not explaining it clearly, and given you a chance to chew on it and try and piece it together for yourself. he's the answer key at the end of the puzzle, the way the story signposts "okay, so by this point you should pretty much Get this concept".

if you're just blasting through it to try to absorb the content as directly as possible, i can see the way the story presents itself kind of working against you, yeah. it's not trying to be obtuse for no reason- it's being obtuse because the process of grappling with the obtuse is the main selling point. if you don't like doing that, if it just bugs you when the story won't just say what it wants to say, yeah, it's not gonna be a good fit.

i kind of agree that some of the character arcs seem a little weak- like, i'm not entirely positive what Cordelia's doing here? what the point of her is? and- oh, god, don't tell Cordelia i said that, that's exactly what the poor thing doesn't need to hear.

but i think that's a product of... like, these aren't all supposed to be protagonists of a story. they're primarily lenses into the story, different perspectives on what's happening. they're part of the mechanics of the game, sources of new narration to use as part of the puzzle. grant doesn't really do anything, in-story, sure- but he's extremely active in nailing down concepts.

"the plot has become concerned with it's own telling"- yep. that's what it's doing. it's kind of always been doing that. personally, i like that!

i might have a bias here due to... having been following it on a serial basis for years since chapter 1? like, that's a format that lends itself well to the way the story wants to be engaged with, the slow and meticulous reading that leaves lots of time for contemplation. i'm not sure if i can evaluate how well that all works archivally- whether this is just a matter of differing preferences in how to consume fiction, or if structurally it's somehow encouraging a shallower reading that it doesn't reward as much.

[oswinunknown]

Hi! This is the anon that dropped in a few months ago to share my appreciation for your Mayor Attorney playlist on Spotify! Ever since I sent that ask I've wondered... what made you put the songs on there that you did? In other words, why is each song on there? Feel free to ignore this if you don't want to answer, but I've just been curious for a while about each song's significance on the playlist. Whatever you decide to do, thanks for your time, and have a lovely rest of your day! -💙

💙anon thank you so much for this ask I love explaining my playlists i would love to explain >:3

for the songs, some songs are ones I've heard on other mayor attorney playlists and added them to mine, others are ones ive had little animatics in my head for, and some are just songs with the vibes that remind me of them jsahdsdf, i could go into depth on all the songs but we'd be here forever so ill just go to the more general explanations. it'l be below the cut just bc i accidentally wrote a lot for this asjkhdbaskjd

for the playlist, i tried dividing the songs into roughly three categories: university days, election years, and post-darkness/mirror.

the first section is university days, where it would be songs about crushes, cozy and upbeat songs that make you feel happy and excited, and old songs that had good vibes to them. it was meant to symbolize the vibes and emotions of when damien n the da would have first met. everything is new and exciting, things feel comfortable and okay, and the love is positive and all-around consuming.

the second is election years, which is more for songs that are the same level of pining as university days but more sadder in a sense. this starts around sweater weather i think (these sections arnt hard areas of the playlist, they slowly transition between them but this section i can certainly say where it starts) . this is for the realization between the two that there is a small chance of them being together in this time, whether its because your/the da isn't female identifying at the time or maybe its public eyes making it hard for two people in positions of power to date, either way this is for the realization that they cant be together. they continue being friends and pining, but theres the helplessness of not being able to date, or at least not publicly.

then we get to post-darkness/mirror. it starts off with songs about remembering the past: when i met you, daisy bell, i hear a symphony, always, the night we met. this is directly after the da gets trapped in the mirror, trying to remember the days before everything happened, when they were with the damien they remember. then begins the mirror part, where both the da and dark/damien think about the other. this section is rather loose because its mainly my own hopes that the two still care for each other, losing all the initial anger they had from the party and replaced with a dull hope. its the angst section if you will. its less stronger in explanation because its all depending on what you hope for them. maybe they want to rescue each other still, maybe they gave up and just reminisce about the past with hurt but still caring lens, maybe all they can do is wait it out, maybe they find each other and see what the others become, maybe they still love each other regardless. its loose because thats how markiplier lore is, and its open for interpretation askjhd

and thats the whole playlist i think! kjhaskdjasjkd

[legendarybelmont]

The whole CV3 gang for the character bingo :> and Trevor/Alucard for the ship bingo lol

oh youre so kind to me lmao, thanks cause i have an absolutely killer headache right now and its easy to speak of the blorbos

first of all, we have the main character ever, the peak of the peaks, bitchfuck mcsluttyboots, trevor! he is very funky and i want to throw him into a ravine, affectionately! most of these are probably self explanatory, but:

- i dont trust the fandom mostly in a netflix way, of course, because netflix!trevor is not my fucking boy

- theyre me fr because i project on him terminally and also our hair is the same. its the same hair

hes my favouritest ever and i have so many thoughts about him but sadly theyre harder to articulate :( maybe BECAUSE hes my favouritest ever

next up, grant! konami did him so dirty, but honestly im glad netflix didnt get the chance to destroy him, and i like the ambiguity of his character; leaves room for interpretation. that said...

- flanderisation disease... a lot of what i see of him tends to focus very deeply on his 'pirate' nature as a sleazy(?), stereotypical personality, even tho i cant word it well, which is a shame, because theres a lot more to him and also because hes not even a pirate lmao. could just be looking in the wrong places though. this ties into not trusting the fandom

- i will rescue you from konami i promise

sypha! the first girlie! hello queen!! i dont rotate her as hard as some of the others but shes literally so cool. i love her i love how she set a foundation for magicky type characters i love how she canonically looked at trevor c belmont and decided to put a ring on That... not much to explain for her but shes awesome

and alucard! the tragic prince himself. i didnt tick 'not trusting the fandom' but now that im thinking about it just pretend i did because i actually dont. much to explain with this one but just know my thoughts about him would get me STAKED. much like trevor i wager

- fandom bicycle... in general yeah but for me nah. i only ship him with the cviii cast, putting him with anyone else feels kinda weird to me unless its pure shitposting. i see him as a certified cviii character instead of a part of the rondo era crew or the sorrow crew, at his core, so maybe thats why?

- god complex. I Have AUs And I Have Corruption Arcs. that is all

- cant even take care of a plant... headcanon time! i think that as a child, his favourite place in the castle was the underground gardens from the saturn version of symphony. he liked to hang out with the mad gardener... anyway, he picked up some things, but ah. you know. monster demon castle. so basically give him a plant and he'll somehow manage to consistently raise it into a monster. any plant at all. he will do it

and finally, the ship meme! alucard/trevor! i think alucard is the kinda guy who just will not move on, sadly, even after centuries... he does continue to assist the belmonts, after all, for many reasons i suppose. and trevor. well. hes trevor. may i remind you of the alucard route ending screen? "trevor realised this as he stood there thinking about alucard". bisexual disaster. probably quite the codependent one, depending

- "only when i write them" mostly refers to netflixvania being awful and bad. i know its a popular ship for the netflixers, but noooo... same for blocking the shippers

- nothing else to explain in depth really im just insane about them. HOWEVER i am also insane for every other cviii gang ship, even the rarer ones (sypha/alucard i can manage it) especially all of them together. theyre so special...

[kenmagoesblep]

For the writer ask meme: 5, 8, 37!

5. Share one of your strengths.

i feel like i got a good grasp on how to convey and evoke certain emotions in my writing as the years went by!! its something i always admired in the fics and books that i enjoyed, and as a big feeler myself, i always wanted to get these feelings across thru what i do as well. it fills me with joy to see when things land gldskhgdslk

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

a part of me feels like this is cheating bc theres a lot of prose in between but i have to be honest and put it down here

“Before you go…” once they’re done with their meal and simply sitting in quietness as the food settles in their stomachs, Giyuu speaks out, reaching for Kyojuro’s hand over the table. “I wanted to talk to you about something. If you let me.”  Giyuu tentatively places his hand over Kyojuro’s fingers, looking at him with purpose . Kyojuro’s hairs stand up at that and his heart — the poor, aching thing — starts running again as he nods vehemently.  That’s the cue for Giyuu to fully hold his hand, get up from the table and gently guide him back to the couch. Oh, that fateful couch. Giyuu lets go of his hand once they get there and sit down, right next to each other.  “I’ve been thinking about… A lot of things lately,” he starts, bowling his hands in a tight fist over his knees and worrying at his lip, initially not looking at anything in particular. “Mostly about us.” Giyuu glances briefly at Kyojuro, letting out a brief sigh before speaking again. “At first, I thought it’d be best to let bygones be bygones and… not keep you waiting for me, when I never felt worthy of your time,” his eyes drift down. “But after what you said to me last time you were here, and… With a little pushing from my family, I decided to look for help.” There’s a pause for deep breaths. Kyojuro didn’t realize he was also holding his breath until now. “I got into some medication and started seeing a therapist. And it’s been… really hard, looking at myself. Or what’s left of me,” he mutters those last words, looking at his own hands like he can see his own broken pieces. “It doesn’t feel much better, but it’s a start.” There’s a pause there that Kyojuro feels like filling with encouraging words, but he doesn’t. Giyuu has more to say, certainly, he just needs some time to recollect his thoughts. He takes a few deep, grounding breaths in silence, tightening his fists so much his joints go white, before looking back at Kyojuro again with a newfound determination.  “Therapy helped me see a lot of things,” he says, voice more certain now. “Some things were ugly, some were not, but mostly… It helped me see that I can only decide what I feel about things and about myself, not what others feel. And I may not understand why you would want to be with me, or feel like I really even deserve it, but… I want that, too.”  There’s another moment of hesitation as Giyuu chews on his lips, cheeks growing pink, as he reaches out for Kyojuro’s hand again and weakly laces their fingers together.  “I love you, still, Kyojuro,” he whispers solemnly. “Would you give me another chance?”

the reason is... kinda personal i guess? its something i havent spoken much in any public platforms but i think its been long enough since i posted this chapter (2021 holy shit?!) and the only person that could possibly be offended by it basically doesnt care abt my existence anymore, so here it goes!

this is an excerpt from my biggest fic to date, which was a collab fic i wrote with a close friend of mine at the time, but i wrote the last chapter on my own. not only did we start having creative disagreements at some point (that i took way too long to voice), but i also fell in love with them, confessed and got rejected, that spelled the end of our collaborative effort since they decided that, when they said "i'll let you take creative lead for the finale" they meant "i'm never touching this fic again, not even with a 7 feet pole".

so i had a lot of complicated and raw feelings abt what had happened between us and the fic, but ultimately i managed to finish the fic on my own thru the sheer power of wishful thinking and projection! this specific scene felt so monumental to me and i'm happy about how it turned out to this day - and ironically glad they never read this part.

37. Talk about your current wips.

oooo i'm so excited!! i havent been writing much the past month or so since getting into a new job (working as a cook is so hectic and tiring istg!! everydays 50/50 either i'm living the dream or i'm questioning my career choices) but i've been working on three akeshuake fics that are bringing me a lot of joy to think abt even in the most tiring days!!

one of them is a silly 4+1 fic where joker gets hit with the rattled ailment (mechanic in game that turns players into rats) on purpose to spend time with akechi

the second one is my ghost hunters AU that i'm writing for the akeshuake AU zine, in which joker is a medium who runs a paranormal investigation channel on youtube and he invites akechi - who makes videos debunking and exposing fake paranormal videos - for a collab

and the last one is a more personal project, exploring akechi's character thru the lens of him being demisexual and developing feelings for joker !!

[casperillion]

i cant post the orignial context because i think op blocked me but thats fine, i just want to air my thoughts and tbh if theyre not looking anymore im happier abt that.

to summarise a little bit of what this is abt, i replied to an article that very much implied that all trans men are loud misogynists, especially towards trans women which is not something i agree with. my reasons for not agreeing with this is very much based on my real world and online experiences of growing up in the queer community with many trans people around me. I stated that i dont think that misogynistic trans men (which look, i know they exist, ive met them) should be considered the majority and on top of that it feels very weird to focus so heavily on that when trans men do not hold a position of power over other trans people, especially not systematically.

to be fair to op i didnt explain this as clearly as i could originally since my first response to the article was very much an emotional response.

anyway op told me the world would be better off without me in it and that i should kill myself, that im a transmisogynist, and that im the reason they hate that theyre trans masc. someone else told them to back off bc while they agreed with op they thought it was a bit fucked up to say that, i responded to them and clarified my points and this person also ended up agreeing with me.

op then messaged me privately with this

okay context done here are my thoughts, i'll try to split this up so its a bit easier to read Original point

so for this one, trans men and our issues are very often erased or only ever brought up as an after thought. I dont feel like i need to explain why erasure is bad but the biggest issue i find with this is lack of resources and lack of coverage or even knowledge about the shit trans men deal with in a cisnormativity society.

this article was rough for me to read because it described every trans man that the writer had met as someone who became a loud misogynist and the conclusion was that all trans men were that way, if not openly then secretly. I know this is not the case because i know many trans men and trans masculine people, many of those men are very passionate supporters of trans women, nb people, and cis women. honestly i think these experiences say more about the person who wrote the article than trans men as a whole.

this attitude is used by TERFs to harass trans men who they see as "traitors" and its where i see this sort of thing most often. its very weird to be this focused on this subject especially without discussing how complex being trans masculine is.

its kinda hard to put everything into words, i'll add on more when i remember it later

To the person who posted the article that is now harassing me

im not gonna name them but looking through thier blog actually... made me really sad. they are the type of people that have fallen victim to this kind of thing. they hate men, and they hate themselves even more for being one.

its so sad to me that they see themself like that, its kinda hard to even know if theres a way i can help them, i want to though. even though they were incredible weird towards me.

digression into them being weird actually bc ive been thinking abt it.

they were very quick to judge who i am as a person without knowing anything about me, made a lot of assumptions that arent true. it felt a lot like projection because like?? idk its wild to doubt that i care about my close friends???? you dont know any of us?? you dont even know what community i come from?? i know trans women from like, actually idk the youngest age but roughly from 20 years old to 40+, most of the trans men i know are in their 20s, and i dont even know what the range for nb people i know is because ive met too many and i stopped keeping track. I've lived with other trans people in person of all genres (idk i dont have a better word) , ive volunteered in places where ive met and helped trans women get back on their feet while experiencing financial hardship. as a teenager i was involved in creating safe spaces for trans and gnc teens in my city to meet each other and hang out. less relevant but ive also be outright told by women im close with that they value my perspective when we have discussions about misogyny, actually that was literally 2 nights ago while we were discussing the best way to create a safe space for women and trans fems. obviously op knows none of this but its wild that they just.. assumed so much and decided that my voice was not important or worth listening to.

[zombiesun]

thank u for explaining that, u didnt come off as harsh honestly i just didnt see my mistake until u pointed it out. i understand completely now and ill be more careful in the future <3

ur right in that this is such a hard situation for me n its so difficult for me to realise that theres work to be done to fix things bc it feels like a mountain of inner work that i have no idea where to even start with so its easier to ignore. ur words helped me realise that nothing will change if i dont change anything.

I've been there - especially if you're living at home with someone who makes you feel unsafe it puts you in a prey mindset and so life is just a series of anxiety, fleeing, hoping things getting better, and being afraid they never will. it's not an eternal state, but it can only change from your present if you change your present. it's hard, it's not fun. and again - I grew up in a fundy cult and had an abusive dad who made my life really hard and scary the majority of life. it was not easy to get out, but it did get better once I did.

something that helped me is I looked for opportunities that were paid positions that involved traveling. I don't know how old you are or what your needs require but I did a lot of programs like americorp (which you can do until you're 24) where I got to help people and also travel for free while I figured out what I wanted to do. you could also do woof, workaways, look for local hostels that are hiring live in staff - my sister actually lives somewhere where she pays 400 a month and the rest of her rent is covered by being a caregiver for her landlord.

if it's less of a physical move that's required and more of a mental shift - inner work is SUCH a daunting task. I don't know if you've considered shadow work but if you message me off anon (or anon if you want) I can send you some resources to start. it really is not a forever experience, but man. it does feel like it.

[ghostlysenses]

“I hope we’re still friends”

Platonic tubbo x reader

Angst

You were there

Watching as Tubbo became president.

You looked at Tommy who was smiling and cheering on tubbo, you did the same!

You, tommy and tubbo were always close.

He added you to his cabinet, along with tommy of course. Together you guys were working hard to make this place beautiful and safe.

Everyone was working

you saw tubbo less and less

same with tommy

you were almost always alone when you worked.

Its hard, there would be days where you slept in the office.

Sitting down you sighed thinking about everything, wondering where everyone is and what theyr-

“Hey! Y/n! I need you to do something for me!”

In comes tubbo, You look up and smile a bit

“Whatcha need” you say happily

he puts a stack of papers on your desks

“im sorry theres so much but im busy and-“

you cut him off by telling him its okay

as he heads out the door he pops his head in one last time to say

“Hey…I hope were still friends…and i hope you dont mind…ya know working for me”

he says sheepishly.

“Of course tubbo!” you smile at him and he smiles warmly back

He leaves….

and you now have a stack of papers to do.

You guys hung out less and less until he couldn’t even come into your office to give you your work, he had to send quackity!

It became saddening

he wouldnt even look at you.

wheres tommy during this?

Plotting to burn down george’s house

You were walking home from work, it was around 12am

then you saw it, the flames, the fire.

You sighed knowing this is going to be a lot more work on your end.

Tommy came to you the next day, he explained to you what had happened proudly

you smilied at him warmly, he always seemed to cheer you up

The next few days were hetic and then there was the court case day.

You couldnt make it, you told tommy you would and you couldnt!

why?

because tubbo handed you more work

you already had 3 piles of paper stacked up on your desk and you know he knew you did.

You were just trying to keep your composure

you would be spending another night in the office again.

The next day you wake up to a blanket over you and a note from quackity telling you how good of a job you’re doing.

this isn’t the first time this has happened

You hear a commotion outside and head out to it, you walk over to tommy, tubbo, and qauckity and fundy.

You wave and smile

then you hear what comes out of tubbos mouth

“EXILE TOMMYINNIT”

your hand slowly falls down, a shocked expression sits on your face as you stare at them.

“what?!!” you say

they turn to you.

“Its for the best! He has done nothing but cause problems and be childish” at Tubbos words you were fuming

Dream had escorted Tommy away

.

.

.

from then on things got more diffcult

you were dealing with more work that tubbo would put off the side and give to you just so he could go out and “make sure my country is okay”

You were still mad he exiled Tommy

You were even more furious he gave you the rest of Tommys work

Your office was covered in papers

You looked as though you hadn’t slept in days

Everyone was asking Tubbo where you were

how you were doing

nobody had seen you in days

Tubbo always said you were working to “make L’manburg a better place!”

in reality you were working on projects, signing things, etc.

Tubbo had no work load

Neither did quackity

You saw them everyday, walking in, staying for an hour, then leaving.

How you wished for that

You think about Tommy during all this, you’ve been sending letter back and forth

He gives you motivation to keep going

and you with him

He tells you take breaks, you dont listen of course.

But then one day

one day

the best thing happens

you finish

You’re finally done

you send off all the papers, rearrange your finally paper free office and stand up to leave but then…

Tubbo enters your office, with another stack of papers..

“Hey Y/n! I just have a few things you need to sign!”

you sigh and sit back down, you could get this done in an hour and still have time to finally go home

“and I also wanted to talk..”

you were getting annoyed at this point

“Yes…tubbo?”

“I..I hope were still friends-“ that sentence urked you

You scoffed

“I hope were still friends” you say standing up completely enraged

“You really expect me to be your friend when you cant even be one yourself?! YOU ABANDONED TOMMY! you hand me more and more stacks of work everyday and proceed to lie to my friends about what im doing, YOUR WORK! Im all by myself! I sit alone here in this small office doing EVERYTHING yet YOU get all the credit! Im tired of doing this rinse and repeat! find someone else to do your work! find someone else to be your friend! Im done!”

You grab your bag and leave, leaving a shocked Tubbo stand there

After that of course you took a very well needed vacation to the tundras and hung out with philza and techno.

Meanwhile

Tubbo was working his ass off, trying to do your workload while guilt hung over his head from both being neglectful of yours and tommys feelings.

a/n

DAMN I HAVENT BEEN ALIVE IN AWHILE