#every time im doing okay i oanic and fuck it up and everyone SHOULD want to leave me but then i get upset when they do
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Back here again
It hates me
#i want to cut myself open why do i have to be sucb an awful fucking person why cant id o antthing right why do i fucking drive everyone away#why couldnt i just be fucking good enough to keep without fucking it up#every time im doing okay i oanic and fuck it up and everyone SHOULD want to leave me but then i get upset when they do#im a fucking hypocrite i hate this i ahte this this i hate this#i cannot fucking wait to finish this plan. im fucking sick of the pain and the suffering i inflict on mtself and tohers#i didnt want to i was scared i was trhing to get you to stop i ddint want to hurt tou but i was out of control and truing to warn you#i was jjst as scared as you were and i fuckibg wish id killed myself then and fucking rhere i fucking deserve it#i dont deserve to kill myself that would be too good for me#someone shojld skin me alive and hang me up to dru#i dont deserve to be free of this pain it should be worse and i shoudlnt get to talk aboht it#i should cut out my tongue and burn off my muscles and grind up my bones#why do i have to be so ficking awfil why couldnt i just learn to be nice and enjoyable why does it never work#why cant i be worth it why am i always the regret#tears are for people who deserve to escaoe the pain and yet im fucking crying like a stupid bitch
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