#why can't i move on
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"See ya, Hange."
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#heartbreak sucks. having an ex sucks#it's been 4 months why can't i cope#why can't i move on#if anyone has eye-opening tips i'm all ears#bc i have now resorted to archiving chats and muting on socials and. it feels so fucking stupid and gross#but i'm stuck if i keep seeing their content. if i keep seeing them#why tho. why#the transition to being friends has never been this impossible to me before#it's like our relationship happened in a different reality like. i can't compute#fuck all of this#ab me
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It's been over six months and I am still so angry and ashamed and a dozen other things about getting fired.
#why can't i move on#i mean i know why but I'm done feeling these feelings#there's nothing i can do about it anyways so i just need to move on with my life#and let it fucking go#it's a waste of time missing things that are already gone#and yet#I'm trying to grant myself grace and remind myself that i couldn't get my meds for almost a year#but it's hard#what happens if the shortage gets even worse???#will i lose this job too?
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Why can't I move on?
I think if I didn't make a Vriska Universe edit I would die
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One of my favorite parts about the writing of Howl's Moving Castle is how easy it is to write off all the things from our world at first as him just being a weird wizard™ (also thanks to bestie @jutenium for spotting this I wouldn't put it like that without you!!/pos). Sure, Sophie uses weird descriptions, but readers have every reason to believe them because of the way Howl is presented as a character. When Sophie says he wrote with a quill that doesn't need an ink, you wouldn't think it was actually a ballpoint pen, you would think Howl had just enchanted his quill so that it wouldn't need ink! When she adds that she can't make out a single word, you think he has matchingly terrible handwriting, but in fact Sophie has simply never seen a pen writing. When she sees the mysterious labels on his books, you think he's keeping a lot of obscure magical literature, but it's really just an encyclopedia and a guide like "Top 10 Rugby Tips." When Sophie notices the bottles in Howl's bathtub, you think they're some kind of magical jars where he keeps girl's hearts, but I'm almost certain that they're just 'Dove' and 'Head and Shoulders' that he's enhanced with his spells and put silly labels on. When you read Calicifer singing a song in a language Sophie doesn't understand, you think it's some kind of ancient cipher or code, but it's actually just a rugby song in Welsh that Howl sings when he's drunk. And finally, when you see the terrifying black door, which is completely shrouded in darkness, you imagine a passage to an eerie, mythical place, similar to what Miyazaki showed us - but it's just fucking Wales.
#howl's moving castle#sophie hatter#howl pendragon#howell jenkins#hmc#howl's moving castle book#hmc book#diana wynne jones#I love him he's a mess#he just goes 'I'm gonna make myself such a quirky horrible image so that no one wouldn't question the weird stuff I keep using'#('because no WAY I'M GONNA WRITE WITH A QUILL 20TH CENTURY GUYS)#and it WORKED#(Also that probably why Suliman can't do the same thing. He's too classic Royald Wizard™)#(and ppl would have questions to him)#(but Howl? He's fine guys he's like that All The Time)
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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.
He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!
You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).
Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!
But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!
#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role#i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business#i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is#and how lost the game is in its original core concept#animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community#just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening#you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving#new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life#but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be#that's how void the game is#because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself#but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post#rant#not art#god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them#i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding#where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring
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I’ve moved around a lot. I’ve gotten to know lots of people, have a dozen of best friends, and shared my life with a hand full of people - for better and for worse.
some times I imagine what they are doing, and I feel a physical pain, a stab in my chest, a lump in my throat, the seizing of my stomach. I cant help but wonder if my name ever passes their thoughts.
how often do they think of me? or am I a school friend they cant quite remember the name of. Am I spoken about in old friendship groups. Do they hold on to the past like I do? Do they dream of what would have happened if I had stayed? Do they miss me? Did they love me?
Is Daisy doing her laundry right now or on the phone her partner? Did her parents ever forgive each other.
Did Ellen sleep in today? Does she still paint, she was so talented.
Is Harry going church this weekend? Has Harry grown up, did he every recognise the pain he caused me.
Where does Claudia live now? Did she ever know why she stopped being friends with me.
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Oh. Oh shit. You, uh, you can see me?
#illustration#artists on tumblr#sketchbook#colour pencil#painting#watercolour#posca pens#ink#eldritch angel#biblically inaccurate angel#my art#org4sale#have sold almost no originals since i moved back home to norway. idk why. 90% were both by americans so i can't imagine it's had an impact.#got more commissions though#so#idk#for which i am open by the way
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Anyone else come to some wildly different conclusion on Ghibli movies with age?
Kiki's Delivery Service: Kid: Being a witch is so cool! Adult: Growing up and growing apart from the life you had before is a natural progression of life. You aren't losing the old parts of yourself, just finding new pieces that were there all along. Life is about changing, you'll never stay stagnant.
Ponyo: Kid: She's such a cute fish, you should always follow your dreams! Adult: Leaving home will not take you away from your family. Even when you're miles away and you feel like you're in different worlds your family will still be there, encouraging you. Parents are meant to let go of their kids at some point.
Howl's Moving Castle: Kid: Sophie's a big sister like me! I want to a princess in a magic castle. Adult (I've also read the book): Sometimes you don't find your place in this world, you make one. The people that come along with you will see you through every ugly part of yourself and you would do the same for them. Chase after that shooting star.
Spirited Away: Kid: What just happened... Adult: SHIT HAPPENS! And it sucks, life sucks but you keep going. You can cry along the way. You are being so fucking brave for even going on this hellish journey we call life. It's okay. You're okay.
#shitpost#shitposting#studio ghibli#ghibli#ghibli films#ghibli movies#hayo miyazaki#spirited away#ponyo ghibli#ponyo#howls moving castle#howls moving castle book#kiki's delivery service#I always wondered why Howl was my favourite movie and then I read the book#I realised I am both of those mfs#The Ponyo one hit hard after seeing how Fushimoto doted on her#Kiki's tho???#That post-college depression hit like a BITCH afterwards#OMFG#the scene of her looking out the window and then realising she can't understand Jiji#Like she's losing her powers#HER TALENT#FUCKING ME BRO#I was inconsolable for DAYS
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Noticed something random about Wesker's outfits post RE1
The outfits Wesker wears when he DOESN'T encounter Chris:
The outfits Wesker wears when he DOES encounter Chris:
#idk why but it amuses me#chris apparently isn't allowed to ever see him in a suit/fancy clothes lol#makes sense though he can't fight chris in normal attire#i mean he CAN but his outfit would rip and split from his movements probably#tighter and stretchy outfits give him more freedom to move#wesker#albert wesker#chris redfield#chrisker
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Sam in Cooldown: "I am considering modifying Keyleth's memory so she forgets about him entirely"
DO IT
#cr spoilers#critical role cooldown#cr cooldown#critical role#sam riegel#keyleth of the air ashari#I'm so serious#like independently of who I ship keyleth with this whole situation pisses me off so much#why can't vax let keyleth move the fuck on
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So that hofas bonus Ember chapter huh.
I wish Tamlin and Nesta built a casual friendship.
It's such a missed opportunity! They were both assigned penance eternal by the IC over their relationships with Feyre with no road to redemption. In acosf they were both on a shame spiral. You'd think this would be a like calls to like moment! Opportunity to recognise that just coz Rhys's friends hate you doesn't make you a bad person!
#my art#acotar#acotar fanart#tamlin#nesta archeron#neslin#hofas spoilers#but like very mild#Instead Nesta gets a 'growth moment' of joining the Tamlin hate train and I can't have nice things. >_>#and while i'm on the tamlin and nesta meeting#what was that retcon of tamlin asking nesta if she'd take feyre's place when he first came to grab her??#that wouldn't break the curse at all why would he trade??#anyway cassian is the worst mate and nesta should move out#how is him being the most angry at her for doing the right thing a pattern now??#how is them threatening to kill her a recurring thing??#someone save her from the night court i am begging
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about to start my yearly critrole campaign 2 rewatch so prepare for me to be absolutely insufferable
#ramble#i think this is year 4 now#i remember i started it the day after i moved into my first house when i went to uni so it's v nostalgic#i can't believe how long it's been going i remember watching some of c1 when i was still in high school and it was FINISHED already#i'm also gently forbidden from watching it in the living room bc my dad also works from home and dnd confuses him#just long silence and then 'how do you understand any of what's going on'#idk why but whenever it gets to september times i always redo campaign 2 and also dungeons and daddies#and at christmas i usually do wtnv again#i have no explanations someone please psychoanalyse me
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Recently had a silly Handplates dream where Papyrus was trying to snoop around Gaster and Alphys’ lab, but didn’t know who Alphys was and so was trying to pass it off as his own lab lol (Patreon)
#Doodles#Dream log#UT#Handplates#Papyrus#Gaster#Sans#Alphys#And also he was Big Brother Papyrus to a babybones Sans lol#I doodled them as close to the dream as possible so if it's silly or doesn't make sense take it up with my subconscious lol#I remember Gaster had a reputation for being very charming and charismatic which ?? Sure okay lol#He was also quite smiley - personally I read that as him putting on a face to the public but even that seems out of character for him lol#Everyone else was pretty much as usual - Alphys small and nervous and Papyrus loud and bombastic#I don't remember what exactly he was looking for - doubly weird 'cause I hadn't reread him and Sans exploring yet! :0#Just of them moving into their house - though I did read a bunch just before sleeping so safe to say I can attribute that lol#This was the only really clear part of the dream - the rest was just scrolling scrolling scrolling pages and pages of comic panels#Can't imagine why lol#Also intercut with some of the poses I ended up doodling before - surprise! They were dream doodles lol#Also in case it's not clear - Alphys was Very Much Present while Papyrus was trying to pass himself off as the name on the door lol#Oh yeah I'm pretty sure he was also speaking in WingDings thus why Alphys didn't immediately call him out lol#The room was quite cute actually - not at all the sterile grey of the True Lab#Warm and wooden with high windows nearly covered in clutter and paperwork with a desk in the middle lit by yellow light#Cozy#Barely evil-looking at all
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After seeing @felassan's post about there being two different versions of Neve and Taash's cards, I needed to sate my curiosity and went digging to see if I could different versions of the other companions as well.
Lo and behold, there are! I found them for every companion except for Emmrich. There's no way to say with absolute certainty which is the old version and which is the new; hopefully we can get some confirmation on this.
For the time being, I went ahead and marked the differences for those who have trouble spotting this sort of thing. Hopefully it's not too overwhelming for the ones that are very marked up, but I wanted to include some of the more mundane changes as well.
Neve — The biggest changes are the crossed leg (making her prosthetic more visible) as well as the metal rivet detailing on her outfit (see: the collar, the shoulder pads, the sleeves, the skirt portion). Some of what I'm calling the more "mundane" technical changes include the lighting and shadows on her staff, her nose, and her chest.
Taash — The most notable difference here is the coins (I didn't circle all the individual coins but you get the point) and the dragon in the background. In one version, the eye is more distinct, and a bottom row of teeth have been added to the dragon's jaw. There have also been changes made in the shading of her face. Her body shape (namely, the torso and her arms) have also been changed, as well as the general shape of the "spikes" on her hips and her shoulders.
Harding — Just a couple changes here. Her eye is more white/ghostly looking in one version, and the shading on her face and neck have changed.
Lucanis — LOTS of differences. They're pretty inconsequential, by which I mean there hasn't been any added/removed/changed symbolism in his card. The shading on his nose has changed, as well as the shading on his collar, hand, forearm, armpit (didn't circle this one oops), hips, and hip dagger. The purple "wisps" have changed in shape here and there. One of the orbs in the upper left have moved, and there is another orb above that one which has been removed/added.
Davrin — Just a few changes with Davrin, though they are big ones. His face/head has been changed, and the vallaslin has been redrawn. The scar on his eyebrow has also moved slightly.
Bellara — Bellara's head has shifted and her neck elongated/shortened. There are stars in the background and around her arm in one version.
As for Emmrich, I mentioned I could only find one version. I did compare the image we currently have with what I believe is the earliest Emmrich art that was shared with us (a cropped version of his card) by overlaying the two on Photoshop and didn't see any differences.
And that's it! You might have also noticed that some of the versions on the right hand side have a white line at the top of the image. Make of that what you will.
(People viewing this post on PC will have an easier time quickly clicking back and forth between the images to spot the difference. If you're on the mobile app and care enough to do so, you might have an easier time saving the images and flipping through them in your photo album. At least I know it's easier if you have an iPhone, I don't know about other models.)
#if you spot something I missed please let me know!#da4#da4 spoilers#da:tv#dragon age: the veilguard#da:v#dav#tagging this game is such a headache#neve gallus#neve#taash#harding#lace harding#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis#davrin#bellara lutara#bellara#It's my personal opinion that all the lefthand versions are the newer ones and the righthand are the old#mostly coming at this from an artist's perspective (my belief that the changes made in composition light and shadow are better#in the lefthand versions).#lucanis's card is a good example in why I believe the left image is the newer one. The orb moving more towards the center makes for a#better composition in my opinion. And in the right image there is a random black wisp on his left forearm (our right) that looks like it#shouldn't be there.#but to play devil's advocate the righthand images ARE currently on the official website AND I used the wayback machine#to see what was there before AND IT WAS THE LEFTHAND IMAGES. but also alsoooo I do believe the first versions of art we ever#saw are the righthand images which would make them older. but I can't confirm any of this so really it's all up in the air#anyway neve gallus are you impressed with my sleuthing skills and if your answer is yes please call me. pleas
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Council of lovefools.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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