#why can’t they just have a weird thing going on?! can’t that be enough for you people

[archiebaldo1414]

Picture it with me people

Season 16. Opens with Dean realizing Heaven isn’t good. He’s having these memories of him and Cas through the years and is just like ‘if this was heaven he’d be here’ type shit you know

Supportive Sam and him break out and try to go rescue Sam from the empty. Dean is depressed as hell as always, but he has a purpose now so he’s compartmentalizing, but we continue to see memories. At first, they were all bro-like shit (as much as Destiel ever can be so still romantic lmao) but it starts transferring into stuff we’ve never seen before.

A night in the Dean Cave just them and they keep just looking at each other. [the audience can’t tell if it’s sweet or if they are getting second hand embarrassment since Dean’s fucking 40 and Cas is billions of years old]

A time where Cas heard about the kiss it better thing and fucking DID IT when he cut his hand or some shit. We begin to realize they might have been slightly more aware of things that we were led to believe.

There’s more chill domestic stuff but the kiss it better thing comes up once or twice more. Enough to show us that’s one of their weird little rituals that no one knows about; but ITS A THING!!!

Cas is saved. There’s hugging and intense eye contact. Sam is there. He gets a hug too and suddenly they are having trouble looking at each other. Dean is distraught. He’s fucked up about feelings, he can’t voice this shit! He tried in purgatory but Cas didn’t let him, but now, now he can’t. He keeps trying to talk to him; Cas is sure to remind him he is okay and knows Dean doesn’t feel a certain way.

He’s frustrated. Why is Cas making this so difficult?? How does he have no clue? Surely he’s aware how he acts with Cas is VERY different to how he acts with everyone else/how everyone else acts with him?

It comes to him suddenly when he bangs his hip on the counter. As he swears (loudly) a little voice in his head is saying ‘Cas needs to kiss it better’. And then he knows. Since he was rescued, they’re little rituals have gotten infrequent and awkward. Cas doesn’t want to make Dean uncomfortable after all! He knows now!

Dean runs. Bangs on Sam’s door. Sam opens it, it’s late, he’s annoyed. “What, Dean, why do you look so excited?” He’s doing his bitch face

“Sammy, punch me in the mouth” he prepares himself for the punch, he can hardly stop grinning. He’s practically vibrating with excitement, the freak.

“Dean? What? Why would I punch you?” Sam is perplexed. He’s concerned. He would love to punch Dean (lol)

“I need you to. It’s important, please, Sam”

Eileen hears them and comes to the door as well. Sam explains what’s going on while Dean looks at her and pleads to punch him. She clearly realizes something Sam doesn’t becuase she starts cackling before winding back and punching him. Hard. His lip splits, and he grins around slightly bloody teeth before waving goofily and turning to go while Sam throws up his hands in frustration because What! The! Fuck!

Anyways. Dean marches down the hall. He’s nervous. He knocks. Cas answers. He looks down at Dean’s fucked up bloody mouth and is like Dean! What happened! Who must I kill! And Dean’s like it’s all good man but 😔👉👈it hurts

Cas is all; let me heal you…and Dean’s like OKAY THAT’S FINE WITH ME HA HA

There’s a bit of staring while Cas tries to figure out what’s going on and he slowly raises two fingers before Dean slowly pushes his hand down. He doesn’t let go of the loose grip on his wrist. His hands are shaking a bit. Cas is feeling a little rejected, he can’t even heal Dean now? But Dean is so close, and he’s still holding his wrist? Why is he shaking a bit? What’s go- oh. Oh oh oh oh

Cas very tentatively leans forward and presses tiny little delicate to Deans mouth as he heals him and cdjrjgfjejficsjtjvisjtv

Anyways they kiss a lot yay the end

dean: ow, fuck. i cut my finger.

cas: here, let me kiss it better.

dean, blushing furiously: oh- uh- okay.

[later]

dean: sammy, i need you to punch me in the mouth.

sam, already winding up: done.

[malk1ns]

november 22 vs jets, 4-1 loss

someone was in a mood.

this is omegaverse. it's also not entirely what i set out to write, but i got a little lost in in the setup at the start and then sid got a little less feral-alpha and more i've-been-pining at the end there so...here we are. also not nearly as long of a sex scene as i'd planned but sometimes i don't actually decide what gets written! hope you enjoy it anyway :)

Zhenya doesn’t trust the team’s new dynamic specialist.

He’s an omega—they often are, omegas tend to get funneled into career paths that involve heightened sensitivity to smell and emotions young, just like alphas are encouraged towards sports—but that’s not why Zhenya doesn’t trust him, not at all. 

Kris had laughed at him when he first brought it up, patted his shoulder and said that Zhenya had no reason to be jealous, he was still everyone’s favorite omega no matter how many specialists the team brings in. Zhenya had socked him on the arm hard enough to bruise.

He’s never been that kind of omega. Most omegas he knows aren’t, actually—the stereotype that they’re all fawning after alphas, tripping over themselves for attention and picking fights with other omegas at the drop of a hat, isn’t based in any sort of reality that Zhenya’s experienced. He’s been surrounded by ‘traditional’ omegas his whole life, been treated by them and trained by them and gone to them for help regulating his cycle, and they’ve all been fiercely protective of him, gone out of their way to make sure that he’s taken care of and safe.

So, no, it’s not that Zhenya distrusts this guy because he’s an omega. Zhenya doesn’t trust him because he’s a fan.

The Penguins are usually pretty good at weeding out people who are going to be weird about working with the players from their employee pool. Fans are inevitable, especially with the emphasis the team puts on hiring local, but there’s a difference between being a fan and a fan. 

Zhenya’s not sure how this one got through. And to be fair, the guy hasn’t done anything egregious—he’s not touchy, he’s not flirting, nobody’s said anything about feeling uncomfortable with him—but Zhenya can see the stars in his eyes when he looks at Sid, and when Zhenya had his own check-in, the kid barely even pushed back on Zhenya’s treatment plan, just accepted when Zhenya said he was fine and didn’t need any adjustments made.

Zhneya reported the official severance of his mate-bond over the summer. Their last specialist would have subjected him to hours of questions and testing to verify that he truly didn’t need his hormone-balancers changed, but this kid had taken him at his word so quickly that Zhenya was uneasy. If Sid’s checkup went any differently, Zhenya will eat his hat.

Even with that type of deference, though, Zhenya would expect him to have noticed that Sid’s heading towards early rut.

Omegas are always the first to notice when alphas enter pre-rut. It’s less a difference in smell than it is a difference in intensity, in presence. Sid already looms large enough in Zhenya’s subconscious, but when he’s nearing rut it becomes almost unbearable, especially if he doesn’t notice in time to take the pills that suppress the worst of it.

Zhenya can’t believe nobody else has noticed. Then again, he’s been hyper-sensitive to Sid for the last year and a half, ever since he and Anna first separated.

An omega fixating on an alpha like that is something a competent dynamics specialist should have been able to suss out, demand information on, and put together a treatment plan to rectify. This new guy hasn’t noticed a thing, and it’s embarrassing enough that Zhenya certainly isn’t going to bring it up on his own.

Sid’s also normally more on top of his cycle, but he’s stressed this season, fielding calls left and right from guys he hasn’t spoken to in years trying to get info on if he’s planning on jumping ship and being the public face of a team that’s underperforming so drastically it’s a national story every night, so Zhenya isn’t all that surprised.

Sully gives them the day after the Lightning game off, and only half the guys get scheduled for on-ice work the day before the Jets come to town. By the time the special teams units are done with extra video review, Zhenya’s practically dizzy with Sid’s pheromones, and even Kris is starting to wrinkle his nose and cast sidelong looks of concern Sid’s way.

Sid books it for the gym before anyone can corner him, though, which means Zhenya has no choice but to track down the specialist with his concerns.

Kris comes with as back-up, like he always does. One too many instances of Zhenya slinking out of offices with his tail between his legs and rage written on his face after being written off for being overly-emotional their rookie year has made it a habit for them; Zhenya takes point on laying out any problems they have, but Kris is there to lend support and legitimacy.

The specialist—Ben, his nametag says—listens as Zhenya stumbles through what he’s noticing, face getting paler and paler as Zhenya makes it perfectly, unavoidably clear how badly he’s dropped the ball.

“I’ll have to run his bloodwork, but…” Ben hesitates, but Zhenya’s glare gets him babbling. “It’s only, I don’t think—the service doesn’t have any omegas available this week. They send the list every Monday, you know, which of their contractors are around for breakthroughs, but we got a note Sunday night that there weren’t going to be any omegas until next week—some scheduling problem, I don’t know, but there’s nobody they can send for Sid.” He looks between Zhenya and Kris in desperation. “Are you sure? I mean, you’re not just thinking because you—”

Kris growls under his breath, and Ben shuts his mouth. “G knows Sid better than anyone,” Kris says, crossing his arms and managing to loom even from where he’s leaning against the wall across the room. “If he says Sid’s going into rut, he’s going into rut. Not his job to tell people, but we have each other’s backs.”

Zhenya will be surprised if Ben is still employed with the team when 2025 starts.

Ben’s fretting over his computer when Kris and Zhenya leave, muttering to himself as he types out different search queries, trying to find an emergency agency that has a hope of getting approved by the team on such short notice.

He won’t. They only go through one service provider for a reason.

“We’re fucked,” Kris mutters. “That kid doesn’t know anything, Sid’s gonna end up missing a whole week. He’s going to be furious.”

Zhenya doesn’t reply. He has a really, really bad idea.

—

It wouldn’t be the first time Zhenya helped Sid through rut. Zhenya’s own heat is as regular as clockwork and meticulously controlled, has been since he turned 14 and presented for the first time, but Sid spent his teenage years and first few seasons in the league going from medication to medication until his cycle stabilized on its own. There had been a few times when there was no one else available, and they were young and dumb and, as those times proved, painfully compatible.

He’s done it before. No reason he can’t do it again. He was always able to get Sid’s rut to break overnight; if Sid can make it through the Jets game without losing it completely, they might not even miss the second half of this week’s back-to-back.

Convincing Sid will be the hardest part, Zhenya thinks as he goes through his pre-game routine. Sid’s always been respectful to the point of insult about Zhenya’s status as an omega, shutting down locker room talk and off-color jokes firmly and skirting the reality of Zhenya’s heats with a level of avoidance that would make Zhenya think he were a virgin if it weren’t for Zhenya’s hands-on experience. Sid had shut down their hookups Zhenya’s second year so politely that Zhenya hadn’t even realized what was happening at first, but when he’d picked through the conversation later he’d realized that Sid had been concerned he was taking advantage of Zhenya.

He hadn’t been. Zhenya can take care of himself. He thought about getting offended by the implication, about challenging Sid on it and forcing the issue, but then he got back together with Oksana, and after that fizzled out for the final time he met Anna, and it just never felt worth putting a wedge in their friendship just to prove a point.

Zhenya’s prepared to wedge it wide open now. When Sid picks a fight with some Winnipeg forward three minutes into the third, though, he’s shamefully relieved that it probably won’t take much arguing to get Sid to come home with him. Sid’s usually so logical that any arguments they have end with Zhenya losing before they even truly get going.

Zhenya shifts on the bench. They’re losing again, and Sid’s angry and half out of his mind with rut-haze, but seeing him throw punches and snarl his dominance in someone else’s face will never not be hot, no matter the circumstances.

Kris elbows him hard enough to feel it through his pads. “You’re going to do something stupid, huh,” he hisses, and Zhenya nods, watching as Sid barks at the ref on his way to the box. No point pretending, Sid’s going to zero in on him the second he realizes Zhenya’s interested after the game. “Fuck,” Kris sighs, elbowing Zhenya again. “I’ll try to cover for you. Get him out of here as soon as you can, he’s going to cause a riot with the crowd if he hangs around for too long.”

—

Sid’s the first one down the tunnel after the final horn goes off. Zhenya had kept his distance at the end of the game, not wanting to push Sid even further into rut, but even with space between them he could tell that Sid was quickly losing coherency, his big eyes all pupil and his nostrils flaring, snapping at Ricky and Rusty whenever either of them try to talk through a play with him. He spent the last few minutes of the game shoving off the training staff who tried to talk to him, and it took Kris frantically whispering to Sully to get everyone to back off.

Zhenya barely makes it through his shower before Sid gets a whiff of his scent. Kris runs interference, blocking the rest of the team from the change room as Zhenya somehow manages to dress them both while fending off Sid’s advances and keeping his own instinctual fawn response in check.

He’d vaguely thought about having someone from the car service drive them home, but the idea of sharing space with anyone other than Sid is intolerable, so he white-knuckles the drive home, Sid’s scent rising in the close air of his car. It’s suffocating.

“How did you know?” Sid asks suddenly as they turn into Zhenya’s neighborhood. He sounds perfectly lucid, like they’re just having a casual everyday conversation and not like Zhenya’s driving them home so he can sit on Sid’s dick for the next six hours. “I barely even noticed, and you…how?”

Zhenya glances to his left and immediately regrets it, because Sid’s got one hand down his own pants and is stroking himself off. His other hand is braced against the dashboard, almost like he’s stopping himself from reaching for Zhenya.

Shaking his head to clear the fog, Zhenya focuses back on the road. Just a few more turns and they’re home. “Since last year I’m notice you more,” he says plainly. “You know, when Anna and I break up, like, you’re smell so much more to me than before.”

Sid groans in response, and Zhenya skids up his driveway so fast he scatters gravel everywhere when he brakes.

“I never stopped noticing you,” Sid gasps in his ear when they finally make it to Zhenya’s bedroom and Sid’s got him pinned down to the mattress, frantically ripping at his clothes to get them skin-on-skin. “I shouldn’t have told you we had to stop, you were mine and—fuck, god, you should have been mine this whole time.”

“Shh,” Zhenya soothes, arching his back to rub along Sid’s body and tilting his head to one side to expose his neck. He gets to watch in real-time the way Sid fixates on his scent gland, the way his pupils dilate even more and his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.

Zhenya was happy in his relationships. Perfectly satisfied, genuinely in love. He doesn’t regret them. But there had been a part of him that never let go of Sid.

It’s all instinct the way he spreads his legs, purring enticements as Sid clumsily lines up and moaning as Sid sinks into him too fast, the stretch painful and so good. Sid was always a little careless during his ruts, always a little more selfish than he’d probably care to admit to being with his lovers, and Zhenya missed the rough treatment, missed the way Sid took what he wanted.

He’s going to be sore tomorrow. He won’t skate well, won’t score again, and he’ll have to listen to Sully scold him for yet another disappointing performance in front of their home crowd.

But Sid’s teeth are scraping over his scent gland, and Sid’s knot is swelling inside him, and Zhenya can’t bring himself to care about anything else.

[typewritingyip]

The Arcturus Missions

Part Six - Through the Haze

Part Five

———

There are some things in life that you don’t do, people you choose not to pick fights with and sayings you simply know to be true. There’s always a bigger fish, you can’t hit what your eyes don’t see, etc. One of those sayings is you shouldn’t fight pissed off organics, because they tend to go nuclear.

Most organics are ranked with a low danger level for the first few years of intergalactic relations, typically if a fight breaks out it is immediately raised. A little known fact, the organics of Earth were ranked a high danger level even before they reached their nearest satellite based on evidence that was scanned from space, it is entirely possible they have set off multiple nuclear arms on their own planet, potentially even against each other.

Fighting organics was stupid, they will win. Fighting humans was suicide.

—

Sunsteaker and Sideswipe came up from behind them, practically glowing from the overhead blaster fire, almost flying through the air as the haze cleared around them. Their visors were lit up bright, blades moving in synch to cleave the turret in half. Landing in the same instant, both light on their feet, standing together with chests lightly rising and falling as if breathing. Sunstreaker was the first to grab the shielding off the base and wedge it into the ground, offering a bit of cover, before Sideswipe did the same, “Move up!” Sunstreaker gestured towards where Hound and Breakdown were still providing covering fire.

There was still gun fire from overhead, but the barricade provided just enough cover to move up, Hound dove in and rested his back against it as Breakdown continued to lay down covering fire. His feet were braced as the shoulder cannon powered up even higher, exploding with covering fire. Hound shifted the grip on his own gun, checking over the scans and footage he got from the initial assault, “Do either of you know what we’re fighting?” There was an obvious answer, staring at the footage, but it couldn’t be true, “Looks like a couple mecha,” Sunstreaker was catching his breath still, “Maybe they had the same idea as us, to fight the freaks with the tentacles.” Sideswipe adds, also catching his breath, “Ready Sunny?” “When you are Sides.” They shared a brief glance before going over the barricade.

Hound, was still scanning the footage, hands shaking for a moment before he was up and firing at the logged targets. They were moving in the distance, trying to re-group, while Sunstreaker and Sideswipe took out another turret together. Watching them in battle was unlike anything else, moving entirely in synch as if both suits were manned by one pilot. But that was just the twins, as if the drift caught them both in the server and manifested them together.

It was time to focus, he needed to focus, Hound shook his head and steadied his hand while firing on the moving targets. Watching the land between them explode into shrapnel thanks to Breakdown’s cannon, “Watch out for the shrapnel you two!” Breakdown’s voice boomed over comms, the cannon slightly muffled by his microphone but still painfully loud, “We’ve got this old man, you just keep laying down the covering fire.” They even spoke together, “Stop being weird. Focus.” Hound’s voice cut in, full of determination as he was firing at the targets he couldn’t see, but his visual feeds picked up their heat signatures. Letting out a slow sigh, he fires again and one of the distant targets went down.

Throwing himself over the barricade, he follows the twins to the next turret, Hound’s breath slowing and heart rate leveling. Calm in the moment of the fight, his back slamming into the smoldering turret.

Sunstreaker cleaves what could best be described as an attack drone in half, Sideswipe doing the same before ducking back down behind some sort of machine, “Why do you think they’re attacking us?” The look spared by Sideswipe was hardly long enough to be a glance, “I don’t know, but we’ve got to show them who’s boss.” Sunstreaker smiles behind his visor, flicking his arms out with a practiced ease.

Breakdown was moving up the battle field, it already scarred from his barrage of attacks, sending rust particles everywhere. He was thankful for the filtration system in the suit, if it had even been bringing in outside oxygen. More thankful for the tanks of oxygen somewhere below his feet, each step was heavy as his feet flared out to balance the attack cannon on his shoulder, “Hound, what are we fighting here, my scanners are lacking.” “That’s not the only thing lacking,” Sunstreaker snorts, “I’m the one laying down the cover fire Sideswipe, I could misplace a shot.” “Communication is good guys, but keep it to the needed minimum.” Hound was in front of the twins now, moving much slower than the initial assault, the edge of the solar farm was within sight even in the haze. Whatever was firing on them was starting to retreat behind some structures.

“I think it’s fair to say that the artificial lights are in fact some sort of civilization.” Sunstreaker glances around the bit of cover he had, sighing slowly, “Oh really, you don’t say?” Sideswipe leaps over the over and cuts into something that shoots off a load of spark, a shot landing into his shoulder which sends him to the ground, “Damnit, I have to reroute my assist, cover me.” “Already on it.” Sunstreaker jumps over him and cleaves apart the blaster sticking out of the ground. Kicking away the remains and turning to shield his brother, taking a breath while the whine of a gun hummed nearby. He waited, before pouncing, cleaving through something that sprayed out bright pink fluid, “Oh gross!” Taking a partial steal back, Sunsteaker tries to clear his visual feed before getting an alert. Whatever he’d just gotten sprayed by, was incredibly toxic, “Shit!” Stumbling back, Sunstreaker wipes as much off as he can, Sideswipe finally regaining his feet and rushing over. Nearly colliding before reeling back, “What did they hit you with?” “It’s not eating through my plating, just don’t get it in your seems.” Taking a breath, Sunstreaker dove back into the fight with Sideswipe at his side. Both leaping into the air at the same time before coming down on another turret together, what had sprayed Sunstreaker left in the rusty haze.

The ground was looking less and less like a solar farm and more like a battle ground, from the mix of weapons on both sides. Hound was moving up as fast as he could, analyzing the data as it came in. It wasn’t right, none of it could be right because it wasn’t making any sense. There was a building a half klick to their south where they could re-group, swearing, Hound activated his comm, “We’re moving south to the warehouse, better there than being stuck in the open. Breakdown, we’ll provide your cover, move.” Taking a knee, Hound shifts his gun back to its typical hiding place before putting on its barrel attachment, bracing briefly as the shot changes from a bang to a boom, stock folding easily to his shoulder, “I didn’t know your gun could do that, did you know his gun could do that?” Sideswipe shouts at Sunstreaker, grabbing his shoulder and pointing, “Yes, now go be cannon fodder.” His brother shoves him towards the enemy fire.

Breakdown was the slowest of them all, his suit the oldest and the heaviest, it wasn’t even that large either. Not quite like the first generation suits. His shoulder cannon slide back across his back when he began to run, if it went off while he was moving it was likely to blow the shoulder of his suit apart. With the farthest distance to travel, he was the easiest target as the ground near his feet is peppered with explosions, “Some cover you all are.” His voice carried a bit, getting a rude gesture from Sunstreaker in return while his blades cut through another gun which folded from the ground, “This is a battle field of a million guns Breakdown, just get to cover.” Hound’s gun boomed in the distance, just out of Breakdown’s visual feeds radius. Grunting with effort, Breakdown pushes his suit to its top movement speed, eventually slamming through the wall of the warehouse.

—

The warehouse was full of conduits and energy storage, something typical for the coast of the rust sea, but entirely foreign for anyone who didn’t frequent the energy region on Cybertron.

—

Crashing onto the floor, Breakdown retreats to one of the far walls, trying to catch his breath as his cannon shifts back to his shoulder and hums back to life, “I’m in, building secure.”

Hound was still laying down covering fire, seeing multiple explosions through the haze and gloom that was lifting, he looks over his shoulder, “Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, go next and prepare for movement into the, uh, town.” They both nodded and took off together, watching each others back. It left him alone in the solar panel field, which was taken down to rubble by the assault. Breathing heavily, Hound scans the distance again, before accepting the odds and getting up, sprinting for the warehouse.

—

Each of them fell into the building, the slight dip in the floor enough to throw them off, and crash to the floor in one way or another.

Sunstreaker landed on top of Sideswipe, the pink fluid splashing across his red paint from the yellow and Hound crashed into the far wall after them. Breakdown’s cannon continued to hum ominously. Sideswipe tossed his brother off of him with ease but stayed on the ground, catching his breath, “So, does everything in the universe want to kill us?” Sunstreaker hits Sideswipe over the head, “Can it. Hound, what do we do? We can’t go into a potentially inhabited area and just blow it up.” Back to the mission, always the mission, “If these things are smart enough to make suits, then they probably have a society, which means-“ “Innocent lives, I know Sunstreaker.” Hound was rubbing his face, gun resting in his lap now, “If we go back out there they’ll keep shooting at us even if we head back for the Odyssey.” “And she’s stuck on this planet regardless.” Sideswipe sits up, holding his chin, “So we’re stuck regardless.” His insight was not helpful.

They sat in silence for a minute, staring at each other and thinking, “We’ll have to go out there, we’re dead in here especially if we can’t get supplies from the Odyssey.” Hound shifted to sit back up, still rubbing at his face, a nervous habit he’d grown into, “Otherwise we’re just sitting ducks.” A pause before, “I don’t know that one.” Breakdown almost sounded sad, it was hard being the only guy without English as a first language in a group, especially one on a foreign planet who knows how far from home.

“What are we going to do or even say when we get out there?” Sunstreaker threw his hands up, entirely overwhelmed, “I don’t know, take me to your leader?” Breakdown chuckled even as Sunstreaker facepalmed. Sideswipe high fives Breakdown, grinning, “There we go, you got one in old man.” Even as they chuckled, there was a light bit of static coming in over comms. Hound glanced up, then around at the slight change, even as the others kept talking the logistics of, invading an alien planet literally. Though references to movies were entirely frequent in the conversation. Hound’s visual feeds switched back over to scan all available view types, frowning at the lack of signatures nearby.

Minutes ticked by, while Sideswipe settled into eating a protein bar as Sunstreaker and Breakdown talked the logistics, Hound was staring intently in one direction, “Someone’s listening to us, or watching us, maybe both.” His voice was low and off comms, just coming out his external speakers at a low volume. Sideswipe started to choke on his food, “You can’t be serious, we just got out of that fight, we can’t get into another one.” Sunstreaker was quick to smack him and motion to be quiet. Then they all could hear the added static, “There it is.” Sunstreaker paused before looking to Hound, “Do we want them to take us to their leader?” It wasn’t a joke now though, Hound held up a hand and activated his comm again, “We don’t want a fight. Just answers.” He waited as the static lowered in volume.

—

There was a rushing of sound over their comms system, Hound winces, the twins shouted, and Breakdown swore before a voice cued on, “English?” It was very monotone and not even remotely human like, certainly didn’t sound like someone who actually spoke English, Hound held up a hand for quiet before speaking into his own microphone, “Maybe, whose asking?” There was another long delay, followed by a quieter burst of static, then, “Prowl.” Hound kept his hand raised to keep the crew of Arcturus One quiet, “Well, uh, Prowl. How do you know English?” This time there was almost no delay or burst of static, “Jazz.” Then line went dead.

———

A/N

I know, I’m sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger, it was either do that or not get this posted till much later than I wanted. I wanted this out easier but the day before thanksgiving is always crazy around my place.

I hope to have another part out to you guys tomorrow, but we’ll see, I didn’t get much done for my LSAT studying today so I might have to recoup the time unfortunately.

To all the lovely people who have been re-blogging, commenting, etc on my posts, thank you so much. It’s meant so much to me to see people enjoying it so much.

Tags!

@lunarlei68 @whirlywhirlygig @loop-hole-319 @pixillandjester @alek-the-witch @not-a-moose-in-disguise @goddessofwind8water @neurologicalglitch @dersereblogger @pixel-transformers @mrcrayonofdoom @wireplaces

I never thought in a million years I would be writing like this, it’s actually insane. Thank you all so much.

[remxedmoon]

UPDATE TIME BABY

so!! i’ve been making a lot of edits over the past few days after i noticed a few Issues so!!! i think it’d be a good idea to list them here? consider this an update to this weird little pseudo-mod i’ve accidentally created. plus there’s some extra art here (if you, uh, couldn’t guess from the sprite directly above me :3)

okay!! big news first!! thanks to @horatiocomehome, i finally have access to the actual game files! kinda. at least enough access to actually know what the files are named. so, i’ve renamed all of redraw files to be compatible with the game! this should make it way easier to mod them into the game. yipee! so sorry these weren’t correctly named before auauua

i finally made “official” spritesheets for my battle portrait redraws!! ttthese are not intended to replace @/thea2l112’s mod or anything, i just wanted to make ones that included my custom sprites! because i’m very proud of them. i don’t think the custom sprites should cause any issues, but just in case, i also included versions that exclude them! the only differences you’d actually see in normal gameplay are act5 siffrin’s buff sprite and act6 siffrin’s ko sprite (or lack thereof). you can find them in the portrait redraws folder, but i’ll also include them at the end of this post for ease of access 👍 also the fourth spritesheet doesn’t actually do anything in normal gameplay it’s just there so my custom bonnie and loop sprites have a place to go.

okay the changes here are a little less important so they’re going down here. anyways

added the afterimages(?) for the special attacks! i genuinely didn’t realize these were a thing until one of my partners actually put my cgs in the game. so those exist now!! yipee!!

predictably, isa and mira’s jackpot cgs having different aspect ratios did in fact cause issues. i put in a bandaid fix, but i still can’t actually test it out (and i don’t want to pester pastell about it) so, uh, maybe let me know if you encounter any problems with their placement??

so you might’ve noticed that there’s two copies of each of siffrin’s cgs during the final attack scene? that’s just how it is in the game files. i don’t know why. they’re identical in every way, just there to make sure things work properly 👍

made an alt version of the mal du pays death animation! nothing drastic, just cut out a hole to match the original. probably safer to use the one with the Hole for modding, i don’t know what the layering for the cg is in that scene. alas. sspeaking of death animations though!

so!!! there’s two new sprites for this little update thing!! i forgot to do siffrin’s unused battle portrait during my first batch of redraws, so i went ahead and made it! as you can see above! nothing too difficult, i just reused the lineart from my bigfrin sprite (since they use the same lineart ingame)

second of all!! act6 siffrin death animation :3. or well, i guess it could work in other contexts, but i intended it to be for the twohats fight. idk! thought it’d be fun! use it for whatever you desire

aaaand i think that’s it! again, sorry there were so many issues with this batch! i might’ve drawn these for use in mods and fangames or whatnot, but i really did not expect all the interest and support i’ve received??? at all?? it really means a lot!!! so i want to make this thing as Polished and Complete as i can!

aaaa. enough rambling. if you’ve read this far, thank you!!! i hope the redraws are a little easier to work with now!! here’s the spritesheets as promised, please enjoy :3

spritesheets without custom sprites here v

so all you need to do right now is disappear.

HHHHAPPY ISATVERSARY EVERYONE. here’s redraws for every single battle cg in the game. 36 drawings this time around, with 11 of those being custom (though admittedly a good portion of those are edits). combined with the portrait redraws i made back in september, i’ve made 114 redraws for this project! jesus christ! just like those redraws, these are completely free to use!! as long as i’m credited and it’s not for commercial purposes, go wild!! do whatever you want!!!

no i didn’t make these for isat’s 1 year anniversary this is just wildly good timing.

i genuinely can’t fit all of these cgs in one post even with the 30 image limit on browser, but i’ll still try to fit Most of them below the cut (without making this post horrifically long), along with some notes that might be important 👍

okay! once again, i labeled all of the custom art as such in the drive(UPDATE. NNOT TRUE ANYMORE. reformatted file names to be easier to mod in auau. apologies!), but if you want a full list, the customs are hatless siffrin jackpot, bonnie jackpot, bonnie special attack, bigfrin attack, and a bunch of alts which are definitely not related to any projects i’ve been thinking about don’t worry about it. and out of those customs, only like. 3 of them are actually completely from scratch.

while i did my absolute best to keep the aspect ratios completely the same as the originals, there’s 3 exceptions that i just couldn’t get to work.

isabeau’s hair in his special attack cg wouldn’t fit in frame if i kept things completely accurate to the og, so i moved his cg down a bit. it shouldn’t cause any issues with modding or anything, it’ll just appear slightly lower than it does in game. alas…

isabeau’s sleeve and mirabelle’s hair made their jackpot sprites a little larger than the originals? i’m hoping this doesn’t have too much of an effect (since the jackpot sprites have inconsistent sizes) but i can’t test this myself unfortunately. aaa feel free to let me know on discord if any problems arise!!

i managed to fix these, so they aren’t going to cause problems now, but my original drawings for mirabelle and siffrin in the final attack scene were a pain in the ass to fix. mirabelle’s sprite was slightly too talk to fit in frame and siffrin’s hat whacked bonnie in the face while i was editing everyone together. i’m only mentioning this because it took like an hour and a half to fix them and finish the scene.

all that aside, these were a fucking BLAST to work on. apparently this ended up taking 57 hours over exactly 10 days. which is a little worrying if you do the math on that but somehow i have not burnt myself out. i will be doing enemies at some point!!! but probably not for a little bit. i think my friends will actually kill me if i don’t take a break.

once again, happy birthday isat. you’ve ruined my life and i wouldn’t have it any other way (silly).

also, on an actual serious note, this little timeloop game has genuinely changed my life for the better? you guys are probably sick of hearing it at this point (or maybe not, i don’t talk about myself That Much. i hope), but i was practically a ghost for about 2 years before joining this fandom. it’s a little surreal to suddenly have friends (plural!!!) and people who Care about me, or even know i exist, honestly. it’s weird!! in a good way!!!

i don’t think i would’ve ever come back to social media if this community wasn’t so welcoming. i’ve met a lot of really great people through this game!!! so, uh, thank you isat, i guess. here’s to another year.

[sskzlover]

click

2.) stupid pictures

Y/N shoved the door to Room Two open, already bracing themselves for the worst. They knew exactly who they were working with today, and it had been eating at them all morning.

Seungmin stood near the window, scrolling through his phone. He looked up as they walked in, his expression unreadable at first. Then he smiled—a smug, infuriating smile that Y/N hadn’t missed one bit.

“Well, look who it is,” he said, slipping his phone into his pocket. “You actually showed up.”

“Of course I showed up,” Y/N snapped, walking past him to set their camera bag on the table. “It’s my job.”

“Must’ve been hard,” Seungmin said, leaning against the wall. “You know, taking a deal with someone you can’t stand.”

Y/N shot him a glare. “Horrible.”

“Good to know some things never change,” Seungmin said, his tone light but with an edge.

“Yeah, like your annoying attitude,” Y/N muttered, pulling out their camera and fiddling with the settings. “Can we just get started?”

Seungmin shrugged and pushed off the wall, strolling over to the backdrop. “You’re the boss.”

“Finally, something we agree on,” Y/N said under their breath.

“What was that?” he asked, tilting his head.

“Nothing,” Y/N replied sharply. “Just stand there and try not to make this harder than it has to be.”

Seungmin chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m great at this. You just focus on keeping up.”

Y/N gritted their teeth and raised the camera. “Face forward. Shoulders relaxed.”

“Anything else, Captain?”

“Yeah. Shut up,” Y/N snapped.

Seungmin smirked but followed the instructions.

The first few shots went smoothly enough—at least, until Seungmin opened his mouth again.

“You know,” he said as Y/N adjusted the angle of the lights, “it’s kind of funny seeing you like this. All bossy and professional.”

Y/N rolled their eyes. “I’ve always been professional.”

“Sure,” Seungmin said, crossing his arms. “But it’s still weird. You’re so… serious now. It’s almost boring.”

“Maybe I’m serious because I actually care about my work,” Y/N shot back, aiming the camera at him. “Unlike you, who probably just stands around and lets everyone else do all the work.”

Seungmin raised an eyebrow. “I don’t just stand around.”

“Right. You also talk too much,” Y/N muttered.

Seungmin laughed, leaning forward slightly. “Admit it, you missed me.”

Y/N lowered the camera and stared at him. “What?”

“You heard me,” he said, his grin widening. “I mean, it’s been, what, five years? You must’ve thought about me at least once.”

Y/N let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, I thought about how great it was not having to deal with you.”

Seungmin’s grin faltered. “Ouch. That’s harsh, even for you.”

“Don’t act like you’re surprised,” Y/N said, adjusting the camera strap on their shoulder. “You were awful back then.”

“You weren’t exactly a saint either,” Seungmin replied, his voice losing some of its teasing edge.

“At least I didn’t go out of my way to make people’s lives miserable,” Y/N fired back.

“Are you serious right now?” Seungmin said, stepping closer. “You were just as bad as me, if not worse.”

“How was I worse?” Y/N demanded, crossing their arms.

“You always had to be the smartest, the best at everything. You never let anyone have a win,” Seungmin said, his tone sharp.

“That’s rich coming from you,” Y/N said, their voice rising. “You couldn’t handle it when someone didn’t kiss your ass.”

Seungmin’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, neither of them spoke.

“You know what?” Y/N finally said, slinging their camera bag over their shoulder. “I’m not doing this. Find someone else to take your stupid photos.”

Seungmin reached out as they turned to leave. “Y/N, wait—”

“Why?” they snapped, spinning back around. “So you can keep acting like a jerk and pretending like nothing’s changed?”

Seungmin hesitated, his hand dropping to his side. “I didn’t mean—”

“Save it,” Y/N interrupted, their voice trembling with frustration. “I don’t care what you meant.”

They turned and stormed out, slamming the door behind them.

Seungmin stood there in the empty studio, running a hand through his hair and muttering a curse under his breath.

previous |~| masterlist |~| next

note: so sorry for the very long wait. i wonder whats gonna happen next.

taglist: @strrykais, @goldenmellow, @vegetablesarefuntables, @sincerely-sun, @ayyonoona

[merrybloomwrites]

Little Things (Chapter 2)

Summary: It's time for you to leave the shelter to move into your new home with your doms, Harry and Louis. It's a tough transition, but the two of them are there to help you through it.

Word Count: 3.5K

CW: mentions of past abuse, dom/sub au dynamics, mentions of littlespace

Previous chapters: one

AN: Thank you to all who showed interest in the first chapter of this! I've had a lot of ideas in mind for this story and I'm happy to finally be sharing them.

This wasn't supposed to get posted until next Friday but I got impatient and I make the rules, so here it is now! Also I'm finishing the third chapter right now, which is finally all about reader going into little headpsace, and will probably post that tomorrow

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You sit in your room at the shelter, trying not to stress over what just happened. Ms. Emily had brought you to her office where you met two men, two doms named Harry and Louis who were married. She had explained they were looking to adopt a sub. More specifically, they wanted to adopt a little.

And while you technically fell into that category, you knew they wouldn’t want you. Doms looking for littles want someone who is in headspace a lot. And you never slip if you can help it. 

You’ve only gone into your littlespace three times since you were rescued. Ms. Emily was there each time, and she took care of you and always reassured you once you came back up, but you still didn’t like it. You felt like a burden, and you were scared of how you acted. You don’t feel like yourself when you slip. It’s like this whole other person takes over and you just have to watch as she basically possesses your body.

So yea, there’s no way these doms will choose you. Years of abuse have broken you, made you into a bad sub who’s unworthy of love and care.

The afternoon passes with you dwelling on these thoughts. 

Which is why you’re shocked to your core when Ms. Emily comes back and asks if you’d like to live with Louis and Harry. 

“They don’t want me,” you answer.

“Now why would you say that?” she asks.

“I’m not good enough. I’ll never be what they’re looking for. I can’t be.”

Emily wraps her arms around you, and you lean into her. It had taken a while for you to get comfortable with hugs, but she’d worked with you for weeks and now it doesn’t feel so weird. It feels kind of nice to be held by her. 

“Sweetheart,” she begins. “You are good enough. You are worthy of love, Y/N. And that’s what Harry and Louis want to give you.” 

“Wait, what?” You pull back enough to look her in the eyes and say, “What do you mean?”

She smiles and says, “They’d like to adopt you.”

“No way. Why would they choose me?”

“Well they were moved by your story-”

You cut her off to say, “So they know. They know how messed up I am. Do they just feel bad for me? Pity me?”

“No, honey. It’s not that. First of all, you are not messed up. You had a lot of messed up stuff happen to you, but you survived that. And they don’t pity you. But they do see someone deserving of a loving home, and that is what they have to offer.”

“They really want me?” you ask, needing to hear it again.

“Yes, Y/N. They want you. Didn’t hesitate, didn’t need any time to think it over. They met you and knew you were the match for them.” Tears fill your eyes as you listen to Emily. Never before had you been wanted. Your family hadn’t wanted you, the one sub amongst all the older dom siblings. They didn’t love you, just used you to fulfill their sick fantasies. 

But Louis and Harry. They want you. They’re choosing you. And though you’re scared, worried that you’ll disappoint them, hope begins to fill you. For the first time, you may have a true home. So when Ms. Emily asks you again if you want to live with them, you immediately say yes.

You don’t get to go with them right away though. They come back the next day to spend time with you and help you feel more comfortable with them. They’re kind, and gentle, and you like being with them. 

On Friday they come again and this time you leave the shelter with them to go to lunch. It’s weird being out in public, especially when they explain who they are and that they’re famous. This makes you feel nervous, but they reassure you that your safety and privacy is a top priority for them. 

One thing you notice is that they never tell you what to do. You’re always given choices, and they ask you questions, wanting to know your opinion. They let you choose the restaurant and allow you to pick anything off of the menu. 

And while it’s nice that they’re giving you freedom, it makes you a bit uncomfortable. It’s not in your nature to make so many decisions, and truthfully, it has you feeling fatigued. You wish that they’d tell you what to do, make the decisions for you. That’s the way it should be. They’re the doms, and you’re the sub. 

Back at the shelter that night you talk to Ms. Emily about those feelings. She says that you shouldn’t be afraid to tell them about your needs. That they’ll want to listen and do what is best for you. 

You spend the weekend preparing to leave the shelter for good, as you’ll be leaving Monday afternoon to go to Harry and Louis’ home. It’s weird to leave here, as it’s the first place you’ve ever felt safe. But you know that this has always been the goal. To find a permanent home, a family of your own. 

It’s sad saying goodbye to Ms. Emily, but she reassures you that she will keep in touch and you’ll still see her. She’s surprised when you go back for one more hug, but holds you tight for a moment and lets herself feel the pride at how far you’ve already come. 

The boys lead you to the car, where two other people wait. Louis introduces them as a driver and a security guard. You’re wondering if this is normal, and like he can read your mind, Louis adds, “We’re just being extra cautious today. It’s our first time being responsible for someone else, I hope you don’t mind us going a bit overboard.”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind,” you reply.

“Well then, let’s get you home,” Harry says. The three of you slide in the backseat. You’re in the middle squished between the two. Before you can click in your seatbelt, you find Louis has grabbed it to do it for you. It’s a caregiver move for sure, and you once again hope they won’t be disappointed if you’re unable to be little in the way they want. 

It’s a quiet drive, and you sit as still as possible to not bring any attention to yourself. It’s something you’d learned growing up and it’s a hard habit to break.

Finally the car pulls into a long, gated driveway. Based on that, you’re expecting a huge mansion, but you’re pleasantly surprised to see a nice, cute, albeit fairly large, house. Big enough to hold a fair number of people, but not so enormous as to be overwhelming or garish. 

Harry leads you inside while Louis grabs your bag from the car. You stand just inside the doorway, looking around while waiting for instructions from your doms on what to do next, where you’re allowed to go.

It’s a relief when Louis says, “Let’s do a little tour, shall we?”

He and Harry lead you from room to room, starting with all the main spaces downstairs. There’s the living room, kitchen, dining room, library, den, laundry room, and two bathrooms. They also show you the door that leads out to the backyard, and they reassure you that it’s completely private. You peer at the high fence that surrounds the entire property, and for a second you feel uneasy. If something goes wrong, if they’re not as nice as they seem, you’ll be trapped. But you try to push those thoughts away. They’ve been nothing but kind. They’re nothing like your family. They won’t hurt you.

Next you’re led upstairs to be shown all the bedrooms. There’s two guest rooms, Harry and Louis’ room, and then they end with yours. It’s bigger than you’d expected, a large bed and a matching dresser and desk. There’s a bookshelf filled with a mix of novels and picture books. The more you look, the more you pick up on things that indicate this is a room for a little.

The dresser is low, and the top is soft, showing that it doubles as a changing table. There are toys suited for a young child. The bed has removable railings that can be put in place when you’re little to make sure you don’t fall out of bed. And then you notice the camera.

Harry sees you look at it with trepidation and says, “That will only be turned on when you’re little. The rest of the time we’ll keep it off so you can have privacy. It’s just to make sure you’re safe. Is that alright?”

“Yes, that’s fine,” you reply. It makes you more uncomfortable that he’s asking you for your opinion. He’s the dominant here, you’re the submissive. If they wanted to keep a camera on at all times that’s well within their right to do so. It’s strange to you that they keep giving you so many choices, and you wish they wouldn’t. 

“What’s wrong?” Louis asks, picking up on your discomfort.

“Nothing,” you quickly reply, not wanting to seem ungrateful by complaining.

“Why don’t we all sit and chat for a bit?” Harry says.

“Okay,” you reply.

“Would you be more comfortable here or in the living room?” he asks. 

Again with the choices. Even something as simple as that is weighing on you. Before you can control it you’re shouting out, “Please stop!” 

Immediately you’re horrified by your outburst. You’d misbehaved, surely you’re going to be punished, or maybe even sent back. You couldn’t even last an hour without ruining it. You look up in horror and begin to apologize, saying, “I’m sorry. Sir, I am so, so sorry. I didn’t- I don’t know what that was. Please, don’t send me back, I’ll be better.” 

The room is silent for a moment, no one knowing how to handle this situation. 

“Y/N, sit down,” Louis finally says. You do as you’re told, sitting on the edge of the bed. There’s a rocking chair in the corner of the room you’re facing, and Louis sits there, leaning forward towards you. Harry stands between, letting Louis take control from the moment.

“First of all, we will not be sending you back,” Louis says. “You live here now, with us. And while in the future you may be punished for speaking to us like that, you won’t be this time. You’re learning, and this is an adjustment for everyone. Obviously something is bothering you, but we can’t fix that unless you communicate with us. Y/N, please tell us what is wrong.”

“You keep asking me questions. Wanting me to choose things,” you answer.

“And would you rather us make the decisions?” he asks and you nod yes. 

Harry speaks next and asks, “Is it because you think we should be in charge and always tell you what to do?” 

“Well, yeah. Subs aren’t supposed to have freedom. We’re supposed to do what doms tell us to do,” you explain.

Harry moves closer, crouching down right beside you. He looks up, starts to move his hand like he’s reaching for you but decides against it. “Sweetheart, of course you have freedom. We aren’t like other dominants. We don’t believe that you’re less than us. You get to have opinions, you get to have control over your life.”

You listen and think about what he’s saying. It scares you, the idea of running your own life. You imagine what that will be like, how loud and confusing your mind will be trying to figure out what to do, what you want. 

“That’s too much,” you say. “Too much pressure. I could choose wrong. Please don’t make me do that.”

Louis speaks up again and says, “Would you feel better if we made the decisions? Set rules and routines for you to follow?”

You imagine that, simply fulfilling what they tell you to do, and everything goes calm, quiet. Peace washes over you at the thought, and so you answer, “Yes. I want to do as I’m told. It’s in my nature.”

They both smile as you say that. Because you’re right. And they’re proud of you for knowing that and having the courage to express your needs. 

“Then we can do that,” Harry says. “Here’s what we’ll do for now. There’s about an hour until dinner. You stay here for half an hour to settle and then come down to the living room until the food is ready. That way you can get comfortable with both of those spaces. After dinner we’ll sit and go over rules and routines.”

“Yes sir,” you reply. 

“Y/N, I’d like for you to call me Harry. Titles like sir will be reserved for punishments, and we can discuss what you’ll call us when you’re in littlespace. But for the most part, you’re to call me Harry.”

“Same goes for me. Well, no, I mean, call me Louis. It’d be a bit confusing if you were to call me Harry, huh?” Louis says, causing all of you to laugh. The tension breaks and Harry and Louis both stand to leave.

“We’ll be in the kitchen if you need us for anything. You may come find us at any time,” Harry says.

“I’ll drop off your bag in a minute,” Louis says and they both walk out of the room. 

There’s a bathroom attached to your room so you first use that. When you walk back out, your bag is sitting on the bed. You neatly put away what little belongings you have, noticing the dresser and closet are filled with clothes for you. It doesn’t escape you that some are a much younger style, clearly meant for when you slip into headspace. 

Sighing, you close up those drawers and lay on the bed. It’s comfy, soft with lots of pillows and a pretty floral comforter. And it’s a space all your own, something you’ve never had before. You stay there and relax until a timer goes off. You grab it from the bedside table and make your way down to the living room.

Louis is waiting there for you and seeing you enter right on time he says, “That’s a good girl, listening so well to directions. We’d like you to use this time to work on something, either read a book or do a puzzle. Something to keep your mind active. Would you like me to choose for you?”

You think for a minute and reply, “I’d like to do a puzzle. But can you please pick which one?”

“Of course, love,” he says as he walks over to one of the shelves. He looks for a moment then grabs a box and says, “Here, this one’s nice.”

“Thank you, Louis.” 

“I’m going to see if Harry needs my help. You get started on this.”

You sit on the floor in front of the coffee table and begin to pull out the edge pieces. Getting lost in the task, you jump when Harry walks in saying, “Dinner’s ready.” Seeing that he’s startled you he then says, “Sorry, love, didn’t mean to scare you. Did you do all of that in just a few minutes? Good job!”

You’ve completed the entire outline and were starting to sort the inner pieces by shape, a trick one of the other subs at the shelter had taught you. And while you’d made progress, it was only a puzzle. Nothing really to be proud about, but there’s Harry, looking like you’ve solved world hunger. It makes you feel warm inside, this praise that they seem to give quite freely. 

“C’mon, you can leave that here to work on again later. Go wash up and meet us in the dining room,” Harry says. You do as you’re told and the scent that hits you once you get to the table has your mouth watering.

Growing up you’d been fed enough to sustain you. Never anything fancy or particularly tasty. It was for survival, not enjoyment.

The food at the shelter was good, definitely tastier than you’d ever had before.

But this, whatever Harry has made, looks a thousand times better than even the best food at the shelter. The three of you sit and eat, Harry and Louis supplying most of the conversation, which you’re grateful for. When it’s done they tell you to head back to the living room and they’ll meet you after they clean up.

“Can I help clean?” you ask. You feel bad that you haven’t done anything to help so far, and you’re hoping to pitch in now so you feel less like a freeloader. 

“Not tonight love. Later we’ll talk about the different jobs you’ll have around the house, but none of that will start until we’ve all discussed it,” Louis answers. 

“I understand,” you say and turn to head to the living room as you were told. You work on the puzzle more until both Harry and Louis join you. 

“Have a seat there,” Louis says, pointing to the armchair. They sit on the couch across from it, ensuring that you can see both of them clearly for this conversation. 

“It’s become clear that you do well with set boundaries and routine, is that fair to say?” Harry asks.

You nod, and Harry adds, “First rule, always respond verbally unless you’re too young mentally to do so.”

“Yes, sir,” you answer quickly.

“Y/N, you’re not in trouble, you don’t have to call me sir. You’re still learning,” Harry says.

“Let’s go over the rules we have and the schedule we’ve made up for you,” Louis quickly says. 

For the next half hour the three of you talk. They explain all of the expectations they have for you, and give you papers with your rule list and daily schedule so you can keep those in your room to refer to when needed. 

“Of course, all of this will be changed and adjusted when you’re in littlespace, but if you’re old enough to follow a certain rule then you’ll still be expected to follow it,” Louis says after everything is discussed.

You don’t reply, looking down at the papers you’re holding instead.

“What is it, what’s wrong?” Harry asks.

You take a deep breath and begin to explain why that might not happen often. “I don’t go into headspace much. When I was with my family they would just leave me alone and I’d wake up starving and a mess, and well, you can imagine. Or they’d do things to me because I couldn’t fight back. So I trained myself not to slip. Even now I try not to. It scares me to be so vulnerable. So just, please don’t be disappointed if I’m not as much of a little as you were hoping for.”

Neither of them answer you so you finally look up. You’re not prepared to see tears streaming down Harry’s face or swimming in Louis' eyes. Their reactions have you wanting to break down, but you can’t. Not now. Not yet. You look back at the papers in your lap and distract yourself by studying the rules until both doms have stopped their tears.

Louis is the first to speak. “Y/N, we don’t have any sort of expectations for you. If you do slip, or you don’t slip, that’s fine with us. We’re prepared to take care of you no matter what. Your safety and happiness is what matters.” Harry nods along with him to show that he agrees with everything Louis is saying.

“Thank you,” is all you manage to say. For now, you hope that it’s enough. 

“It’s been a long day,” Harry says. “And according to your schedule it’s time to get ready for bed. C’mon, we’ll head up with you.”

The three of you go upstairs, and the boys remain in your bedroom while you get ready in the bathroom. When you’re finished you see that they’ve pulled back the covers, and it looks so cozy and inviting.

“If you’re comfortable with it, we’d like to tuck you in each night,” Louis explains. “We feel it’s a good way for us to connect with you. Plus it just seems like a nice way to wind down at the end of the day.”

“I think I’d like that,” you answer. Sliding into bed, Harry tucks the blankets around you. There’s only a soft lamp on, casting a warm glow to the room. They tell you that you can come to their room if you need them, or you can press a button that’s on the bedside table that sends an alert to their phones. You feel so content and safe knowing that they’ll always be there if you need them. 

Before they go, they each press a gentle kiss to the top of your head, wishing you a good night and sweet dreams. It doesn’t take long for you to fall into a peaceful sleep, so content, and for the first time ever, so hopeful for your future.

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AN: Thank you for reading! Like I said, chapter 3 should be out tomorrow! I literally woke up this morning and decided to start it and now it's at 3.5K words and almost finished.

Next chapter here!

[saveyourblood]

Pretty Boy - Ch 6 (Buddie x Reader)

Summary: You can feel Buck staring. When your eyes meet his, you realize he’s staring at your hand, which is still on Eddie’s knee. You slowly retreat, which makes Buck turn his attention to your face. You smile softly. He just looks out the window. The one where you’re an advanced paramedic, Buck and Eddie are firefighters, and you think you might be in love with both of them.

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5

Chapter Summary: The tension between you and Buck brings you and Eddie closer.

Word Count: 3.3k Warnings: none

Things between you and Buck are… weird. Awkward. Uncomfortable. The last time you had a real conversation with him, it was a fight, but it ended with you saying how much you care about him. It’s left you feeling like there’s an open wound on your chest, one that exposes your heart. You feel vulnerable, and you hate it. Your hatred of the feeling triumphs over your desire to be around him, at least for now.

In a weird silver lining, your lack of time with Buck has created room for one of your other coworkers — Eddie. Talking to Eddie when Buck was around always felt strange, like there was something in the air that wasn’t supposed to be. Which is funny, because when it’s the two of them, they’re as thick as thieves. Something about you being in the mix feels like adding oil to water.

You like to think you’ve gotten to know Eddie relatively well in the last few weeks. So when he’s staring off into space while the rest of the team is eating breakfast, you don’t feel awkward asking what he’s thinking about.

“Nothing,” he says, turning his coffee mug absentmindedly. “Just… this new school with Christopher.”

“Don’t think it’s a good fit?” You ask.

“No, it’s perfect,” Eddie replies, turning his attention to you.

You smile softly. “Then what’s the problem?”

“They need to do a family interview.”

“Again, what’s the problem?” you chuckle. “I mean, aren’t the divorce and custody agreement papers enough?”

“They would be… if I had them.”

You frown. “What?”

Eddie sighs as he rubs his forehead. He leans closer so you’re the only one who can hear him. “We’re still married.”

Apparently, you don’t know a goddamn thing about Eddie.

“Oh,” is all you manage to get out.

Eddie chuckles briefly. “Yeah.”

“Wow. Just… from how you talk about her, you made it sound like things were… over over. Like, officially over.”

“ Shannon and I aren’t officially… anything these days.”

“You’re officially husband and wife.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, but he smiles as he does it. “Touché.”

“What’re you gonna do?” you ask softly after a moment.

He sets his elbows on his knees and clasps his hands together. “I don’t know.”

You just watch him and can’t shake the helplessness that washes over you. Eddie’s in a tough spot; no matter what you say, you can’t fix it. All you can do is be there.

“Tell me what I can do,” you say.

Eddie looks up at you with a lopsided grin. There aren’t many things you wouldn’t do to keep it on his face.

“I’ve been told I’m a lot of fun when I drink,” you continue. “Well, when I have three drinks I’m fun: that’s when I get dancy. After five drinks, I get sad. You can pick the number.”

Eddie laughs.

9-1-1 dispatch is down, making doing your job almost impossible. LA is a maze; without GPS navigation, you rely on your phone and eyes to do most of the work. It’s a miracle that dispatch existed before computers.

You’re in the passenger’s seat of the rig, and you tell Hen to make a right turn. When you pull up to what’s supposed to be the scene, though, there’s nothing.

“Dispatch, this is RA 118,” you say into the radio. “There’s nothing here.”

“No pregnant woman?” A dispatcher asks.

“There’s no building. It’s an empty lot.”

“Stand by, 118.”

You hang the radio with a huff.

“What’s going on with you?” Hen asks.

You frown and look over at her. “What?”

“You’ve been… off lately,” she explains. “Like, you’ve got this short fuse now.”

“Why shouldn’t I? We can’t even do our fucking jobs because some moron can’t fix a computer!”

Hen raises her eyebrows.

“Okay, point taken.”

“Buck says you two haven’t talked in a while.”

“Well, he’s a firefighter and I’m a paramedic. We can work the same shift and not see each other,” you shrug. “ I don’t know why he’s talking to you about it.”

“I’m not sure, but… it sounded like I’m not the only one worried about you.”

You play with your hands in your lap.

Hen sighs. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, but I hope it gets fixed, because you two are miserable without each other.”

“It’s not like that-”

Hen raises a hand to silence you. “I don’t know what you guys are… best friends, work spouses, or dating. Frankly, I don’t care. All I know is that, for better or for worse, you need each other. “

“118, you're gonna need to proceed to San Vicente, east of the Miracle Mile District,” dispatch crackles over the radio. “The nearest cross street is Sixth.”

You pick it up and push the button. “RA 118, copy that.”

“Where the hell have you guys been?”

When you finally arrive at the correct building, you’re faced with a pregnant woman lying on the lobby floor. A small crowd has formed around them, which you push your way through.

“We are fighting a system outage, sir,” Bobby explains, “we apologize for the delay.”

You crouch next to the patient on one side while Hen starts an IV on the other side.

“Hi,” you introduce yourself and don some gloves. “What’s your name?”

“Sonia. I’m 39 weeks pregnant, and 38 years old, which makes me a geriatric pregnancy,” she laughs a little. “God, I hate that word.”

“Word doesn’t matter: you still get a baby out of it,” you smile. “I’m gonna check how progressed you are, okay?”

She nods.

“10 centimeters, 100% effaced,” you observe. “You’re doing great, okay? On this next contraction, you’re gonna push, alright, Sonia?”

She doesn’t respond, so you look up.

Her expression changed. A moment ago, she was nervous but smiling. Now, her face is flattened, and she’s staring ahead at nothing.

“There's something wrong with the baby,” she says quietly.

Your body goes numb.

There are a few things you never want to hear a patient say, and ‘something is wrong’ might be at the top of the list. It’s called ‘impending doom’ — there’s no obvious threat, but it feels like something is about to go terribly wrong. You’ve seen patients die within minutes of saying something doesn’t feel right.

“Your baby is fine, Sonia,” you assure. “You'll-you'll be able to see for yourself in just a minute.”

“No! No, this was a mistake, all of it,” Sonia cries. “Roger was right to panic. Look, we can't do this. I can't... I can't do this. I shouldn't have this child.”

“Hey! Hey, Sonia, look at me,” you say, patting her knee to get her attention.

It takes her a moment, but her eyes eventually meet yours.

“All you have to do is push,” you tell her. “That’s it, okay? Just push.”

She still looks terrified, yet she nods.

On the next contraction, Sonia pushes. You coach her through the contractions, telling her when to push and when to rest. It only takes a few rounds until the baby is fully born.

“He’s here!” you exclaim as you wrap the baby in a towel.

There’s some happy laughter and a round of applause from the crowd as the baby cries.

“Beautiful boy, it’s time you meet your mom,” you say as you move to place the baby on Sonia’s chest.

She’s staring at the ceiling, her expression slack.

“I’ve got the baby,” Eddie interrupts, taking the baby from you so you can work.

“Sonia?” you say, rubbing your knuckles on her sternum. She winces, but barely.

“I can’t get a systolic above 70,” Hen says as she deflates the blood pressure cuff.

“She’s cyanotic,” you say, noting the blue tinge to her lips and fingernails. “She’s in shock.”

“Hemorrhagic?” Hen questions.

“She’s barely bleeding,” you shake your head.

You press your fingers to her neck. You don’t feel a pulse.

“Lost a pulse, starting compressions!” you shout.

Everything starts to move a hell of a lot quicker. Within seconds, the defibrillator is at your side, and as you compress Sonia’s chest, Hen is placing the pads. Eddie has a finger on her neck to ensure your compressions are effective.

When you get Sonia on the gurney, Eddie tags you out as the compressor to give you a break. Your entire body shakes with adrenaline, yet you help pack her into the rig and climb inside.

“She was fine,” Eddie mutters as he compresses. “Birth was going like clockwork, even for a geriatric pregnancy.”

“Sudden despair and fear and anxiety, rapid loss of BP, subsequent cardiovascular collapse…” you think aloud. It dawns on you. “Oh my god.”

“What?”

You’re reaching for your phone, dialing the phone number of the hospital you’re heading to. “It’s an Amniotic Fluid Embolism.”

Eddie looks over to you. His brow is damp with sweat. “She could be in DIC.”

“She needs Mass Transfusion Protocol,” you agree. You raise the phone to your ear. “LA general, this is RA 118 en route, I need to speak to your ER charge nurse.”

When you’re rolling through the ER doors, you’re kneeling over Sonia on the gurney as you do compressions. Doctors and nurses are shouting directions at each other, but all you focus on is your arms moving up and down.

You hop off so they can move her off of the gurney and onto the hospital bed. In the process, you notice that the defibrillator is showing Sonia’s in Ventricular Tachycardia — a shockable rhythm.

“V-Tach,” you say normally at first, then shout. “V-Tach! Everyone clear!”

The ER staff has no idea who you are, but when someone shouts those words, anyone with a medical background knows to listen. Everyone backs away with their hands raised. After hitting the ‘charge’ button, you do a quick survey to ensure no one is touching Sonia. Then, you hit the lightning bolt to deliver a shock.

Sonia’s body jerks at the electricity. The EKG tracing goes from tombstone shapes to a flatline. Then, there’s a beep and a QRS complex. Then another, and another.

“Got a pulse!” a random voice shouts.

You make your way out of the trauma bay and into the hallway, where Eddie’s waiting for you.

“That was… amazing,” Eddie says.

You stand next to him wordlessly. You nod but then let out a sob as you collapse against the wall.

Eddie helps lower you to the floor. He keeps a hand on your shoulder, squeezing tightly.

“God, this is embarrassing,” you remark between a few sobs.

“It isn’t,” Eddie immediately responds. “We’ve all been there.”

“It’s, uh, it’s how my mom died,” you say with a sad laugh. “They didn’t catch it in time. She bled to death internally. I just… I don’t know what I would’ve done if she didn’t pull through.”

“She did,” Eddie says, moving his hand from your shoulder to your knee. “She pulled through because of you.”

You nod again, wiping away some of your tears. “Thank you.”

Eddie nods in return. You notice that his gaze goes from your eyes to your lips and back up to your eyes.

It happens in the smallest of movements, but before you know it, your forehead is pressed against Eddie’s. You can feel his breath on your mouth. You quietly gasp at the sensation, and it makes him sigh.

You press your lips together. “You’re married.”

“She wants a divorce,” Eddie whispers.

You smile sadly. “You’re still married.”

Eddie sighs again, but this time, he moves away from you.

“I’m not saying it can never happen,” you say quietly. “All I’m saying is that I’m not that kind of girl. And you definitely aren’t that kind of guy.”

Eddie nods, his mouth shifting into a few different expressions.

You rise to your feet and offer Eddie a hand. “Let’s get back to work, Edmundo.”

Eddie laughs genuinely at the use of his full name. He takes your hand and uses it to help get himself up, but he continues holding it when he’s standing.

“Back to work,” he agrees and squeezes your hand before letting go.

You’re heading out a scene call, fire in progress with multiple victims suspected. You’re driving the rig while Eddie sets up the back. The 118 is the nearest firehouse, so your unit will be the first on the scene. It comes with a lot of responsibility, but you know you and Eddie are ready for it.

That is, until there’s a massive ‘BOOM’ from behind you.

You immediately pull over and look in your rearview. The engine following behind you is now on fire and lying on its side in the middle of the intersection. You can see a few firefighters lying on the pavement.

“Eddie, grab our bags!” you shout as you unclick your seatbelt.

You fly out of the rig and meet Eddie in the back. Instead of handing you your bag, he sets a hand on your shoulder and pushes you both to the side of the ambulance.

“What the hell?” You ask.

“There’s a bomber,” he says in a low tone.

“What?” you ask again, peering to the side of him.

Sure enough, there’s a kid — no older than twenty — with several pipe bombs strapped to his chest. He’s holding what appears to be the detonator in his hand. Someone is laying at his feet, his leg pinned under the passenger side of the engine.

Buck was sitting in the passenger’s seat.

You try rushing forward again, and Eddie grabs you by the waist this time.

“It’s Buck!” you scream as you struggle against him.

“I know,” Eddie says, his arms wrapped around you as he presses your back to his chest.

“We have to do something!” you cry, still thrashing against Eddie.

“We have to wait for the scene to clear,” Eddie explains. It’s more than a little annoying how calm he sounds. “If you go in now, both of you could die.”

“So what, we just let him die?” You ask, but you’ve stopped fighting.

Eddie doesn’t say anything, but his grip around you loosens. Eventually, you feel his arms drop back to his sides. That’s when you make a run for it.

You make it far enough to catch the bomber’s attention. You raise your hands in the air.

“I’m not who you want,” you explain, “I just want to help him. He has nothing to do with this. He has friends and family… he’s my family. Please, just let me help him.”

The bomber looks from you to Buck, then back at you. “He’s collateral damage.”

“Is that how you see yourself?” Bobby interrupts. He approaches with his hands raised.

The bomber’s attention shifts to Bobby, the person he’s been after this whole time. You use it as a window of opportunity to approach Buck slowly. When you finally reach him, you crouch down by his head.

“Hey, Pretty Boy,” you say softly. You set a hand on his head. “How’re you feeling?”

His left leg is the one that’s pinned, and he’s lying on his stomach. He tries to look up at you. “You shouldn’t be here. It’s not safe.”

“I could say the same thing to you,” you joke. You move your hand to his neck. “Are you in pain?”

“No, just kind of numb,” he says. “That’s not good, right?”

Your heart sinks. “You’re in shock: it’s normal.”

Bobby manages to distract the bomber long enough to subdue him. As the bomber gets rushed off, the rest of your team rushes in.

“Eddie, start two lines, wide open,” you instruct. “Hen, get him in the C-collar.”

You dig in the medi bag for a tourniquet. As you apply it, you try to drown out the sound of Buck crying out in pain.

“How are we doing?” Bobby asks as you stand.

“We’re out of time,” you mumble. “We need to get him out and to the nearest trauma center.”

Any extra body moves to the truck, waiting for the count to lift it. You place yourself in front of Buck, taking both of his hands.

“We’re gonna get you out,” you promise.

He nods slightly.

“Okay, my count,” you say as you move your hands to underneath his arms. “1… 2… 3!”

As everyone begins to push, you start pulling on Buck. He isn’t budging.

“It’s too heavy,” Bobby says.

“We got anything on the truck we can use for leverage?” Eddie suggests.

“No, we need more people,” Chim says, picking up his radio. “Dispatch, this is 118…”

There’s some clattering from across the way. Bystanders are pushing through the barricades to help. This time, you’re able to get him out.

You get him on the backboard, then onto the gurney. The whole time, you’re telling him that he did a good job and that he’ll be okay. As you’re running with him to the ambulance, he mumbles something. Once you’re settled into the rig, you ask him to repeat himself.

“You’re my family, too,” he mutters.

You wait in the waiting room the whole time Buck is in surgery. When he makes it out of recovery and to the ICU room, you don’t leave his side. You’re sure visiting hours are over, but you stay out of the nurse’s way. She doesn’t say anything; she just gives you a sympathetic look every once in a while.

You hear him stir a little bit. You look up from your phone to see Buck blinking awake.

“Welcome back,” you smile.

“You’re here,” he says, voice rough.

“Where else would I be?”

Buck looks around the room, slowly orienting himself. His eyes eventually land on his leg, which is in a cast and suspended in a sling. His eyes widen, and he lets out a few breaths as he tries to sit up.

“Okay, okay,” you set a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him back. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“Is it?” Buck asks. “Did you talk to the doctor? Did he say anything about how the surgery went?”

“Just that you made it through,” you say softly. “And you're now the proud owner of one titanium rod and four beautifully cobalt-chromed screws.”

“Before they wheeled me in, he, uh… he said he didn't know how it was gonna go.”

You take his hand gently. “You’ll walk again, Buck.”

“Yeah, h-he said… he said he was pretty confident about that. He, uh, he just... he didn't know if I would ever… work again.”

You run a hand over your face. “Okay, I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you everything will work out how you want it to. But what I will say is that we should take this moment to be glad that you’re alive.”

“I’m really sorry about our fight,” Buck apologizes.

You laugh. “Buck, that is… so far from being important right now.”

“No, it isn’t,” he insists. “It wasn’t fair, how I reacted. I’m proud of you. I was just… scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Losing you,” he admits quietly.

“Yeah, well, I was pretty scared of that today, so we’re definitely even,” you joke. Your smile softens and you squeeze his hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

You move your hand to his forehead. You trail it down to his cheek, letting it rest for a moment. You turn your body to face him better. His eyes are closed, which you’re grateful for because if he were looking at you, you wouldn’t have the guts to do what you want to do.

You kiss him. It’s hesitant at first, and when he doesn’t react right away, you start to pull back. Before you can, Buck has his hand on the back of your neck, pulling you in closer. Your hand moves from his cheek down his neck and eventually rests on his chest. You only pull away when your lungs are burning from lack of air.

Buck traces his thumb over your lips. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

You blush, laugh, and bury your face in the crook of his neck.

[viaviavie]

Ok sorry I caught the brain worms and now I have to share them with you. I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes and what not. I’m not a writer, I strongly prefer reading, and English is my second language. So feel free to ignore my ramblings.

So. Your “A painted white rose, still so red” fic. Wonderful thing. Love that Ace was dreaming about all of the horrors that would happen to him and his friends. And Yuu the one that is trapped in a time loop doomed to repeat every overbolt until they survive / make sure everyone else gets out unscathed.

That’s all well and good but… Ace and Yuu aren’t the only ones that have to face each overbolt.

Deuce always knew he wasn’t the smartest academically. Seven he’s barely passing his exams with the help of his house warden. But he isn’t dense enough to not notice his best friends weird behaviors.

He has caught Ace multiple times pulling the Prefect away from the group to talk to them in private. That in and of itself wouldn’t be so weird if they didn’t insist on him taking Grim for a minute while they talked. The others brushed this off but for some reason it stuck with Deuce.

This proved useful as during a lecture one of their classmates decided to mess around and almost blow up the classroom. Due to Ace and the Prefects quick thinking a majority of the damage was prevented.

Deuce always knew he wasn’t as smart as the Prefect or as annoyingly cunning as Ace. That didn’t keep him from being impressed by how prepared his friends seemed whenever disaster struck. It’s almost as if they knew it was going to happen.

He really starts to suspect something was up once the Prefect sent him an SOS in the middle of winter break. Once he met up with Ace to return to NRC to check up on them Ace was beside himself. Constantly checking his phone for any updates or always mumbling something about Snakes for some reason. Whenever Deuce tried to ask him what’s wrong or what Ace meant by that he’d always get waved off and or ignored.

When they finally, finally made it back to NRC and found the Prefect chilling with the Octavinelle Trio and the Scarabia dorm Deuce was confused. Ace on the other hand pushed past the crowd of people without another thought, on the way glaring at the Vice-House Warden of Scarabia.

(Why would Ace glare at someone he’s never even met before?) Deuce doesn’t need to wait long for an explanation to come, because it appears in the form of two familiar eals that explain that surprise, surprise another overbolt happened. (But how would Ace know that?)

Deuce knows what it’s like to have secrets you would rather not share with anyone. Really he understands. After all he also has things he only shares with his best friends if at all. But as he watches Ace and the Prefect reunite after all the stress of the past week he can’t help but feel hurt as he realizes that his best friends don’t trust him enough to keep their secret.

in reference to this post

ugh you just smashed my heart with an anvil— i love how it aches :)

(but i loved your rambling and your english was great! do drop by with those ramblings of your sometime, i adore it :DDDD )

Poor Deuce. A part of Ace thinks that Deuce is lucky that he isn't plagued with such nightmares, but never stops to consider that his best friend has his own inner turmoil. Ace, Deuce, the Prefect— they were always supposed to be a trio. And yet, this friendship has grown into a triangle, and Deuce sits at a point where his two friends had grown further and further away.

This weird sense of distant doesn't catch his eye in every loop. When Deuce feels out of place, however, it threatens to make him angry. There were certainly times when he has wanted to fight Ace for an answer, especially when he knows when Ace is lying straight to his face when the redhead was clearly bothered. Deuce never exactly confronts you, though. The Prefect has grown so tired of reacting and making mistakes to the point that you're just going through the motions sometimes.

To twist the knife even further, Ace and the Prefect never communicate about what is being foreseen in most loops until it's too late. Now, you have three different people tugging and pulling at one another to avoid the worst possible endings. Ace, who tries to prevent those Bad Ends from happening. The Prefect, who is still searching for more options and routes to take to survive the next overblot. And then there's Deuce, who cannot see ahead of the script and is forced to play along with the messes that Ace and the Prefect make. Ace would never confide in Deuce because he won't consider the idea that someone will believe in his crazy story. The Prefect can never confide in Deuce because it hurts to see him try to find a solution.

Nonetheless, no matter how hurt Deuce gets, his care for his best friends never change. Even when it ended with him hurt or dead in some loops, Deuce trusts both of you, even when the truth is something he would never hear.

That being said, I still think about the scene that I cut from the original. Contrary to what Ace thought, Deuce would have definitely trusted that Ace was telling the truth. That was why Deuce breaks out two blastcycles and was more than willing to help row a boat to get the Prefect as far away from the campus as possible during the events of book 7. You could only imagine how heartbroken Prefect was to reawaken back in that coffin, knowing that all the love that Deuce and Ace poured into you was now lost.

The Prefect has watched Ace and Deuce care for you for over a hundred loops now. There are time loops where the Prefect pushes aside those failures and puts up that smile as the process repeats itself again. There are also those time loops where the Prefect cries and cannot explain why when Ace and Deuce come to the rescue in the mines.

[ancha-aus]

Sansnautica sneak peak

a little sneka peak :3

*----------------------*

It is mostly dark now and Sans closes his sockets. Happy to get some shut eye.

It… it is a lot colder in this corner than his bed had been. Cold enough that he wakes up and looks around confused.

Why is he laying in this weird room?

His sleepy gaze looks to the side and he spots Goo staring at him.

Huh…? What is Goo… oh. Right. The leviathan thing.

Goo chirps and looks worried at him. Sans rolls up more with his blankets but it doesn’t help a lot. Maybe this is why the habitat tool also makes an actual bed? Sans slept on the ground before of course but it never seemed this cold.

Goo whines louder and makes grabby hands and Sans frowns. He isn’t sure…

He should… Something.

He yawns. Man he is tired.

Goo chirps again and makes grabby hands before patting the soft looking blankets next to him.

But his hoody.

His hoody can’t get wet.

Sans points at his hoody and the water then shakes his skull.

Goo frowns before looking a bit hesitate. He points to the hoody and to the pile of blankets Sans laid down. Then he signs Stay. Goo next points at Sans and points to where Goo is laying. Goo holds up a blanket and smiles.

Sans frowns. He could… leave his hoody behind to lay here safely and go to Goo. But again. He uses his hoody as PJs at the moment and well… very naked under it.

Then again. He is just bones. Just bones and nothing else. And the mers are also naked…

It is probably fine right…?

Just to be sure Sans makes sure to wrap himself in one of the many blankets he had collected. Under his blanket he undoes his hoody and leaves it safely away from the water. Then he waddles over to the pool’s edge.

Goo looks beyond excited as he chirps and coos as he holds his arms out to help him to his little hammock.

A moment and a shuffle later and a wet splash and Sans is back in the water and with Goo in the hammock.

It is so much warmer near Goo and Sans sighs happily as he snuggles close. He feels himself melt against Goo as sleep is starting to claim him again.

Sans will figure this mess out tomorrow. For now he is warm and comfortable.

And he sleeps.

The night passes uneventful. Sans starts the day by making sure Goo’s tail is okay before going to grab some food. Only for Goo to already have a fish held out for him.

Okay to be fair. He started his day escaping Goo’s embrace to even get the things to do the before mentioned things but that is beside the point.

[mylambandmartyr]

Sitting alone with my controversial Frank Castle and Karen Page opinions

[a-dragons-explanations]

I'm sorry you're going through this, genuinely. It sounds like you've had a really hard time with all of this, and I can see where the temptation to lash out comes from. I'm sorry you've been struggling with these feelings so much - it can be a lot to deal with, I'm well familiar with that.

I'd like to try to help, so I'm going to go ahead and try - please, if you don't want the help and feel like I'm overstepping, feel free to ignore the rest of the post. I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you into anything, I just want to offer some guiding questions and a little analysis in case it would help you, because sometimes an outside perspective can really help unravel these things.

So:

I'm not going to tell you that you are otherkin - that's something only you can decide - but I can say that what you're describing very, very much aligns with what many, many nonhumans experience, so I've seen a lot of people work through these feelings. I'm not surprised that the otherkin community has become a bit of a mirror for you, even if it's one that feels threatening. As they say, after all, wanting to be nonhuman is one of the most telltale signs of being nonhuman.

I guess the core question, if you want to finally hash out your feelings on this one way or another, is: why are you so afraid of calling yourself a fox? Or at least, why are you so determined that that can't be the case? And whatever the answer to that question is: is that really, when you dig into it, a solid reason, or are you just flinching from something that feels scary but isn't a real threat?

The best guess I have, to facilitate that outside-perspective analysis, is pulling from this quote -

"being told to accept myself hurts, because it implies that there is something to accept; or a prospect of getting closer to the concept of being something else. yet i can’t FIND it. i would jump at the first glimpse of that opportunity, as i have been trying to, but i can’t understand it."

I may be wrong here - I have a very limited view of what's going on inside your head, after all, and if I'm misunderstanding you please correct me - but it sounds to me like what's stalling you out is either a) the internalized feeling that this can't be real, that these feelings aren't "enough" to make you really nonhuman, and/or b) that you're afraid that since you'll never be able to be physically nonhuman, identifying yourself that way is just going to hurt you more.

Both of those are completely reasonable fears, and ones many, many people have faced before you. Again - it's a weird thing, and for years I was dealing with the "this is crazy, this can't be real" doubt periodically.

One answer to this would be to try to walk away and ignore it. Admittedly that's an answer that doesn't work well for a lot of people, but it is an option. But it seems like you've tried that, and you keep finding yourself coming back. It sounds like you have some very strong conflicting feelings about this - and maybe like you've determined (for whatever reason) that you can't be nonhuman, even though you want to be, so your brain is (consciously or unconsciously) doing the "if I can't have it, no one can" move and lashing out at people who are embodying a thing you want but feel like you can't have.

That's a very normal instinct. It's - maybe a little ironically - the Fox & Grapes fable, right? If you want something and can't have it, it's often easiest to decide it was never really desirable (or possible) in the first place, so that the loss doesn't hurt as much. But then there are people right there who are having it, proving that it is possible and desirable and preventing you from cutting yourself off from the loss - so your brain perceives them as a threat, a source of pain, and wants to lash out.

But the pain isn't coming from the people who are living their lives, and it's not fair to lash out at them. You know that already, I can tell from the way you're talking about this at this point. Whatever the right answer is for you, whether you're nonhuman or not - if it is wrong for you, then just because it's wrong for you doesn't make it wrong for everyone.

This verges into questioning advice at this point, but if I may go that far, because I really do think that this lashing-out seems to be stemming from your own confusion and pain regarding your own wanting-to-be-an-animal feelings: I won't tell you to "accept yourself," because you've already determined that's not helpful advice for you, and that's completely fair. Instead, I'll offer a question that might be a more useful framework to look at this through: regardless of whether you are currently a fox or not, would you be happier calling yourself a fox, viewing yourself as a fox, living life influenced by and embracing foxness?

Don't knee-jerk react - pause and imagine it. Say the words out loud to yourself. Think about how you feel when people call you a fox, how it feels to look at a picture of a fox and go "that's me".

And, if the answer is that yes, it's an overall happy imagining - is that not a good enough reason to do it? It's a good enough reason for plenty of us. It's a good enough reason for me. If it's a happy imagining, I'd personally encourage you to let yourself chase that happiness. If it ends up not fitting right, you can always discard it later.

And to address that second potential fear - yes, sometimes it does hurt that we can't physically become what we long to be. It does. But, as gently as I can say this, it sounds like that's already hurting you, despite your efforts to push those feelings down. It doesn't seem to me like you're succeeding in getting away from it. It's a very natural instinct, but that doesn't mean it works, especially long-term. And, much like gender dysphoria, the answer to soothing species dysphoria is often doing things to make you feel closer to what you want to be, rather than trying to push it away and insist to yourself that you can never have it.

All of this, of course, is just my thoughts as an outside perspective - an obviously somewhat biased perspective, for that matter, given that I happen to be nonhuman myself. Ultimately, to come full circle here, I don't know your experiences as well as you do - you're the only one who can ultimately decide what to do with those experiences and what framework to parse them through. I'm not trying to push you to start identifying as otherkin here, I promise; I'm just trying to offer a way of looking at it that you might not have considered, and some compassion in the face of the agonies.

And... be gentle with yourself. You've lashed out and likely hurt people, and that was wrong of you, yes. You clearly understand that. I hope you'll think twice before doing it again in the future. But you're also hurting yourself, and as you say, you've been trying to get people to snap back at you - I don't know if you realize this, but this is a form of self-harm you've been doing. You don't need to punish yourself for the feelings you're having. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve that much.

i don’t think my words hold much value to people like you, and i don’t think you would be willing to listen or take it to heart, but it’s still worth trying. i would like you to realise that you are human in every way. you are not an animal, you are not a dragon. (you probably already know this. maybe you’re in denial. i don’t know) either way, none of you would actually be willing to give it even a second of thought because you’re insecure about yourself, and you’re insecure because you know you’re human. i assure you that you will not reach full personal contentment until you live out your life without pretending to be a mythical creature. wtv have a good day

Ooh, I haven’t gotten one of these asks in a few years.

So I ask this, and every other question I will follow up with, completely genuinely, and if you’re willing to really get into the weeds discussing it I’d love to do so (though I’ll probably reblog any follow-ups to my other blog): why do you think you know me and my experiences better than I do?

Why do you think you can armchair diagnose me with insecurity? What evidence do you actually have for that, besides the fact that I’m nonhuman? What evidence do you have that I’m not already content and fulfilled in my life?

Is it possible that identifying as nonhuman is unrelated to those things entirely, and you’re making a false assumption?

I get it. It looks crazy, when you’re completely new to the concept. It’s weird - it is! But pause and listen to us when we talk about our experiences for a moment.

For many of us, myself included, finding nonhumanity is a moment of suddenly understanding - of pieces falling into place, of my life experiences suddenly making sense. Awakening is something that made me more content and fulfilled, not less - there’s a sadness in it sometimes, yes, but so too is there the comfort of understanding yourself in a new way, of realizing, oh. I’m not just weird. There’s not something wrong with me. There are other people like me.

(If this sounds a lot like the experience of figuring out you’re queer, there’s a reason for that.)

To use myself as an example of the flaws in your hypothesis: there’s… honestly not much dissatisfaction with my life right now. I’ve got a stable job with decent income. I’d like to be able to cut back my hours a bit, but that will come in time. I’ve got enough free time as it is to do my art and play my tabletop games with friends in my off time. I’ve got family and friends around me. Sure, I miss my wings, but I’m hoping to pick up powered paragliding in the near future and hoping that’ll scratch that itch at least somewhat. I’m doing pretty well, honestly. This isn’t the case for all otherkin, but it’s not the case for all orthohumans (people who aren’t alterhuman in any way) either. What it does indicate, however, is that your hypothesis that being otherkin inherently means you’re insecure and unhappy with your life is false, or at minimum flawed - if it were true, I wouldn’t exist.

So, I ask again: why do you think you understand my own experiences better than I do? And moreover, why does it bother you so much that I am the way I am?

The name for the thing you’re doing here, intentionally or not, is concern trolling - trying to push me out of an identity by professing concern for problems that don’t exist. Why? Why are you going out of your way to tell other people they’re wrong about their own identity? Why is your reaction, when you see an identity you don’t understand, to decide it’s unhealthy, or just make-believe, or whatever, and then to make that the problem of the people who identify that way? What exactly makes you think this is inherently unhealthy?

Would it not be better to devote that energy to trying to understand us, instead of trying to change us?

You don’t have to answer these questions to me, obviously, but I do encourage you to answer them to yourself at least. Pick apart your worldview for a minute and see if it actually holds up under scrutiny - it’s good for you, and mental enrichment to boot! If you are willing to really get into the weeds of this discussion with me, again, I’d love to do that - I love having discussions like this, and it’s good for me to have my worldview challenged every so often too! Please, genuinely, pick at the flaws in my logic if you see them - if it can be pulled apart under scrutiny, it needs to be pulled apart and rebuilt. No one on the internet is obligated to let a stranger do that, obviously, but personally I enjoy it - it’s a meat pumpkin for me - so let’s talk, if you’re up for it. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve gotten a good interesting antikin to debate with.

[dykedvonte]

If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

last post for the night i swear

the real tragic part about the whole science fair incident is that perpetual motion is impossible to achieve

ford’s machine would have never worked, regardless of whether or not stan had interacted with it

(warning i accidentally wrote an approximately 30-tag dive into ford’s character in the tags don’t click see more if you don’t want to read that)

anyway!! good night everyone ❤️‍🩹

[itspileofgoodthings]

Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——

[dykeza]

Ichigo being a stay at home dad who works online is so in character for him actually…… he’s the type of dad to enforce 1 hour of no screen time outside playing in the yard and/or playground. He texts Orihime goofy pictures of Kazui jumping around in some water fixture in the local park and carries him home soaked to the bone and shivering with the biggest smile on his face and then they eat ice cream and wait for Orihime to get home so they can have family game night.

[insanechayne]

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