#why are so many of them facing the left :[
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going home✈️
btw lmao i got fired from my job bc of this trip lolololol
#this is vee speaking#i took a domestic flight!!!! it was short lol but it’s cool bc i’ve never done it lol#and we gotta tick off more experiences now that i’m probably not gonna have new ones for a while ahaha⭐️#i’m both devastated and at peace i’m returning home jobless lol#like money and job security is so crucial in this economy that i’m terrified of being without one going into this new presidency#but the job was also ruining my health lol i developed migraines that left my face numb and i have never experienced a migraine in my life#*clenches fist* we just gotta stay positive i get to have time to skill up and draw and be creative again#flesh out other stuff maybe be bold and write stories find a different way to tell them#is what i’ve been sitting on during this trip lol it’s another part of why i’ve been so quiet too many warring emotions lol
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Doodle dump :3
#calarts#homestuck#karkat vantas#eridan amora#sollux captor#if art#caliborn makara#calliope makara#Roxy lalonde#why are so many of them facing the left :[
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i really don't think you should be promoting organisations from other countries on social media unless you have direct ties to them. like people unfamiliar with the context will just end up sharing stuff that's pretty contentious with the local left and they just have no idea. for some stuff e.g. the swp in britain, yes some quick online searching will bring you up to speed, but for some other stuff the issues w various orgs mostly just spread by word of mouth. and while im happy to say that eg a certain org is known for being transphobic, some of the issues we have with orgs can't just be shared on our public social media on a website that doesn't respect privacy like tumblr, bc to explain them means to reveal (& therefore reveal to the state if we're posting on tumblr) our involvement/past involvement with them as political organisers.
#for the latter reason i can't say everything this post is about (except that ofc i am mostly just qualified to talk about when non-brits#have promoted british left groups on tumblr so you can assume this is about brit groups ig)#but for the sake of minimising how vagueposty this is#some examples i can name include: obviously promoting all the swp fronts; there have been some big posts promoting sutr in the face of the#race riots lately. also ngl 9 times out of 10 promoting a british communist group will also be promoting a transphobic group lol#have seen a cgt sticker on here and probably other stuff i forgor about#on a somewhat related note it does get annoying how many false claims ppl make about orgs that i cant correct bc i would only know that#through being involved w them. or like just speculation about the internal workings of a group that even if you could correct anonymously#you wouldnt bc why would you share that info#it's just so stupid how many people speculate about things w various orgs where the people who know the answers to your speculation are#never gonna fucking tell you lol#i have shared fundraisers for groups in other countries/in contexts i dont organise in but only bc i have trusted contacts
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literally what was the point of hiding brains face in the beginning
#was it for the murder mystery plot#i mean#i didnt really consider him The Killer#he was just the likely option bc of process of elimination#at least for me its like well obviously it cant be ventus hes The Good Guy (LMAO)#and it cant be lauriam bc he is GENUINELY distressed about strelitzia his sister#so brain was the only one left in my eyes#i never even considered the vanitas angle in regards to ven tbh#like i never forget theyre connected#but vanitas is a whole separate character to me#and as far as we knew at this point vanitas only cane about bc master xehanort pulled them apart#and i guess you could argue that vanitas is proof that ven had the capability for darkness since the beginning#but that would involve a whole discussion about personhood and nature vs nurture that i do Not have enough tags for but just know i think th#that idea is bad and wrong#not that ven always had the capacity for murder or whatever#like ee all have a little darkness in us this has been established#we cant all be princesses of hesrt#ANYWAYS i swear im not gonna get into it rn bc i do Not have the space#but anyways the vanitas angle and all relevant theories from that never occurred to me#but if i knew about it im not sure if i would have agreed? like im not sur ei wouldve been like yeah that seems likely#if someone argued for it passionately enough i mightve been convinced tho#im a sucker gor long theory posts even if theyre too deep#anyways#why did they cover brains face for so long he wasnt even hiding anything#just being dramatic#imagine he had an eyepatch#xigbar style#i am 5 minutes into the fandub im sorry i have so many thoughts#michi tag
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Wu/Misako/FSM understanders UNITE!
#none of them are inherently 'horrible evil people who ruined someone's life' or whtvr#like wu and fsm are literally part of a terrible cycle#fsm was born into a war where his parents literally fought for him#as in like actual fighting#and two whole groups fought and he tried uniting them and they resisted so he left but the war followed him and he had suffered a lot#and he likely wasnt a big fan of the oni specifically so he prioritised his 'pure son' but even then he was harsh on them which is obv a ba#-way to treat your kids but you have to think like this is a fictional man and he was born from the ashes in the midst of a violent war#he spenmt so much time fighting and running and hiding from his mistakes#wwhich then carried on to wu who has been hiding from his past and has been betrayed by so many peoplke hes told things and trtusted#which is kinda an interesting parallel to lloyd bc both have been betrayed and hurt so many times which makes them less trusting#as for Misako she couldnt jsut leave her son wzith wu because she probably worried that he would make lloyd a ninja and eventually#thjeyd have to face destiny and blah blah blah#man why do i always ramble ab these guys in the tags of posts ab them...#ninjago#raine's rambles
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Some artists are posting pics of their art progress in 2024, so here's the weirdest compilation I've ever made in the form of: Sonic Characters I have drawn with just the most Ghibli-esque tears I could give them.
Starting from the top left: Oldest > Newest Bottom most right picture is my latest pic! As of today!
There's a bit of other kinds of improvements you can see but like... Lookit them waterworks! You can actually kinda tell that some of those are tears!
#i'm not gonna art tag this cause it's just a silly post but I did in fact draw all these sad/happy teary faces#most of which I have never posted online for anyone to see lol#and yes I DID absolutely forget the one teary picture I HAVE posted which is BARRY'S BIRTHDAY PICTURE I'm sorry I forgor#that fifth picture from the top is both Barry and Gadget crying while hugging tho so that kinda makes up for it right??#I love them I promise I just forgot I drew them happy crying over a cake ;;#lots of OCs here otherwise tho#and one Kitsunami hidden down on the bottom left#none of these OCs are very important anything I've posted online dun worry about it I just have So Many OCs#TOO many OCs really I make a new one like every 3 days#..also I used to draw Infinite with just straight up Monster Claw hands??? Apparently? Looking at my old art is like.. what was I doin here#also I used to draw some of their faces SO FLAT??? I'm sorry I smooshed your faces guys idk why it happened#I might actually post a more serious comparison picture down the line#I just thought it was funny how I gravitated to big ghibli tears when drawing Sonic characters
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⁺ ⛧ ﹒ jurgen leitner ? — ˚ 🕯️ ⌢
“ stupid idiot motherfucking jurgen leitner god damn fool book collecting , dust eating , rat old bastard , shithead , idiot , avatar of the whore - ”
＞＜﹐six , sixxol , sol , uc , cryptid , loop﹐🦇
🕯️﹐any / all + 17 + aroaceapl + abro ﹐★
﹑likes - tma , homestuck , lego monkie kid , persona series , drawing , figure skating , fanfiction﹒⟡﹒⤿
⛧ ﹔🥀﹒dislikes - bigots , wasps , needles﹐ıllı
！About you/info - pls save me from the self - inflicted suffering that is called “ drawing my characters reference sheet “﹒🪦
” - biggest clown in the circus , laughed out of town , cowboy motherfucking jurgen leitner ”
#intro post#tags are stupid#stop pinning me when i talk about jurgen leitner i hate him so much why does he have so many fucked up books ?#why did he decide to fuck around and find out just to set them loose#is he dead is he a bastard man has such a visceral affect on me not even in the room never seen this mans face and i know he has the worlds#shittiest beard get away from me#if i wanted to get into heaven and god said jurgen leitners waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent#back down#if i have to deal with jurgen leitner speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i close the tab i will delete my#bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the purpose of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned#or alive#i dont even know why i hate him so much. he collects books but i am just mad because i am angy#he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of creepypasta and wanted the irl version#ill go ham#better have had a book make him kill a man because if he didnt im going to make him#paypal dot com slash i fucking hate jurgen leitner#episodes not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be in his library and i fuckibg lost it#where the fuck is jurgen leinter if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt#crusty old man#ill punch leitner and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until#all thats left is one final book he kept on him simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish#im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point#i hope theres a date given for when jurgen died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone#every day once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true books#holy fuck i just hand typed the entire leitner rant /srs#thank you for coming to my ted talk
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one thing leads to another which leads to another which leads to another which once again leads to me asking how do you fuck this up at every turn
#i give you characters i care about. i express interest in a particular twist with one of them#i (we) give you SO many ideas on how it can happen. reasons why it makes sense with the characterization#i do the very annoying thing where i drop hints about it with all the subtlety of a brick to the face#I TIE IT BACK TO THE INITIAL CONCEPT OF MY CHARACTER WHICH HAD BEEN LEFT VAGUE IN CASE I CAME UP WITH SOMETHING JUICY#AND NOT ONLY DID YOU PLAN TO BARREL ON WITH AN ASPECT OF THE PLOT I MADE PRETTY FUCKING CLEAR I WAS AGAINST#YOU WERE JUST GOING TO ABANDON THE OTHER CHARACTER TO EITHER DIE OR DIE OR DISAPPEAR FROM THE PLOT?#A CHARACTER CENTRAL TO MINE'S MOTIVATIONS????#IN FAVOR OF SOME RANDO ADDED IN SESSION 35 AND TURNING MY STORY FROM ''anyone couldve done this. but i was the one who did''#INTO ''no actually me and my whole family are the gods' specialest little guys''#sorry did you get mad because you didn't think of it first. or something
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shauna being like jackie I really need you right now and then sobbing hysterically is literally me every week watching this friggin show.
#🐇#yellowjackets#the amount of homophobia this week.....far too much#where the fuck is kristen/crystal lmfao who has her#I also was totally shitting on all the therapy but then shauna's stuff was like a punch to the face so thank you lottie!!!#idk how many episodes are left but like....do you think that misty will confess to destroying the black box and then because lottie is#getting her visions again and things kinda seem like they're going towards a cannibal ritual direction that they'll hunt her to possibly#appease the antler queen/save van/fix the adam issue??#I'm getting the vibes heavily someone won't survive the main plot line and I think the van thing is too obvious#and the reddit thinks it's nat but they're literally never right about anything they said no one would actually care about the flight#recorder like tell that to dead kristen/crystal why the fuck would no one care about that?????#also so so amazed that it took this long for someone to get the shit beat out of them lmfao I thought that would've happened in the first#season and also I would've thought it would have been mari if I'm totally honest. like we're all thinking it#I'm also like really wondering if walter really is a cop or something or a PI tai hired or something idk there's something there#and like honestly I'm so bored of the two tai thing and the eyeless man like just explain it already I'm tired of waiting#I will say though so so funny the girls talking about how misty is insane and also hoping they can eat kristen/crystal
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Who up feeling like an outcast and a pathetic worm
#shut up meg#<new vent tag i 4got the old one. block this if you want#anyways it’s like 4am ignore all this i won’t care abt it in the morning >#even in my own (irl) friend group i feel like i dont fit in and there’s no other groups that i even slightly fit into#and everyone always says that its good to be your own person and stray from the crowd but its-#-actually so humiliating because i feel like i dont have my own person and my ‘straying from the crowd’ isnt-#-standing out it’s falling into the background#and all i’ll ever be known as is ‘that one girl from my elementary school’ or ‘the kid in the hallway’ or ‘__s friend’ if im lucky#and those people think it’s funny to talk to me and i hear them teasingly laugh to their friends when they walk away and#sometimes they even do it to my face when talking to me and i don’t know why I don’t know what im doing wrong#and theres been so many times that i don’t really wanna get into right now where ive been left out of things and it#feels like there’s one big thing that everyone’s in on except for me and i don’t know what i#did that made it this way i wanna fix it what did i do wrong what did i do#was it the way i look or how i acted i can go back and change those thing i’ll find a way how just please#please#vent
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ok nvm i got mad at transformers writing again. back out of sheer spite
#brain splatter on my wall#yk ur writing sucks ass when a guy with memory loss doesn't remember shit other than “damn that was a pain to read”#this is directed at jro and mtmte. fuck outta here with whatever the hell minimus was#the forced... everything. like you can tell he was going somewhere but then took a wrong turn#what the fuck was he on. the potential pisses me off#because you couldve had so many great individual stories and a unique narrative but youre just forcing it in my face and its so random?#why was getaway a villain. why. i agreed with him and then you make him do the most diabolical shit just to make me NOT like him#sorry for not liking the hot dilf megatron. i guess we love abusers here.💀#ITS SO ANNOYING I SWEAR IT READS MORE LIKE A FANFIC THAN AN OFFICIAL COMIC#I AM LEFT WITH MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS AND IT JUST THROWS ANOTHER BOMB IN MY FACE STOP!!!#its genuinely such a pain bc this is the ONLY storyline from idw people talk about so im forced to endure it#while i enjoyed some characters (swerve skids and even ultra magnus!!) you just completely HAD to ruin them#because drama. because trauma. because story. but it was all for nothing because it either gets undone (skids) or development thrown away?#(magnus and swerve)#im sorry it was such an absolute mindfuck to read it was so bizarre and NOT in the cool jojos way.#i also really fucking hate rodimus and like every single romance that was produced#cyclonus deserves better. chromedome deserves better. who the fuck gives a shit about dratchet other than the cutesy fanon.#GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! 👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹
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As a final fuck you from 2023, I woke up this morning with a remarkably unpleasant ear infection
#went to bed perfectly fine woke up with all of the internal cavities on the left side of my face#feeling like somebody had stuffed them woth remarkably sharp steel wool and an ear full of pus#cleaned out the pus applied hydrogen peroxide and spent the day doing ice/heat therapy and also on so many pain killers#but this sucks I totally understand why babies scream about it
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#my peculiar wife#i'm not rewatching speaking of sex atm i just found this in the vaults (my screenshot folder)#then again i might rewatch it today because i feel like shit and seeing him in such a..... state..... might improve matters#at least yesterday wasn't a total bust#and by that i mean i actually had a decent day yesterday which i haven't been able to say in ages#i left my cave and went to an estate sale where an incredibly attractive middle aged gentleman with silver hair let me have#these two big wooden roll top boxes full of cassettes (many of which are sealed blanks!) for five bucks.....#i haven't gone through them thoroughly yet but it looks like there's a lot of early appalachian gospel#can't go wrong there.........#the man kept calling me sir#sometimes it baffles me that i “”“pass”“” these days because my hair is so damn long and i keep my face clean shaven#so that's nice#with how depressed i've been sometimes i hate to acknowledge when i have a decent day or even a decent moment#because i almost superstitiously feel it will act as a magnet for my depression to swoop in and feed on it#and out of that fear my depression has developed this sort of..... personified stubbornness#where i both consciously and unconsciously avoid what might allow for an opening for “decent moments”.. pleasure.. joy.. whatever might#might grant me relief from pain even just for a moment etc#i don't know what i'm trying to describe here all i know is i feel trying to announce or acknowledge any sort of happiness i experience#feels like i'm directly endangering it#my brain is too scattered right now to try to articulate anything and i don't know why i'm doing so in the tags of a photo of#my peculiar wife james spader#just trying to exist again and not let myself be a hermit to the extent of harold smith which is very much the path i've been on for a long#long time#and i'm chipping away at that nonexistence in strange ways but chipping away nonetheless.......
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oh, I see. it's one of those nights.
#going insane going insane going insane#too many men in my head and they're all the same guy but not but#uhgghh I need to stop looking at him but I can't and he's so beautiful and I'm so unbelievably stupid#no thoughts in my head just him#and him and him#the three of them#stupid idiot guys with their same stupid pretty face and uggh I hate them#and by hate I mean want oh my god I want them so bad I'm losing my mind#other people are beautiful too! why can't I be normal about this?? why does this need to happen#just. be like. oh hey he's hot I'd fuck him. and move on. like a normal person#nooo it's got to be literal months of me getting increasingly stupid until there's nothing left of my brain because it's all been replaced#by tiny versions of him#it's literally FINE.#people are attracted to people literally all the fukcing time why can't I be normal about this oh my god this is so humiliating#BUT I can't keep it in my mind or my head will explode and for some reason that would be bad. apparently.#AND why can't I just think he's hot??? WHY does it have to become my entire personality?? what do I like? oh him of course. no like what are#my hobbies? oh looking at him and painting him and thinking about him. NO besides that - umm there IS nothing besides that actually?? I've#never had an interest in my life and I don't even know what you mean 🙄 I sit here and think about a man (now it's three of them but#whatever)#what else would there be 🙄🙄🙄🙄 ridiculous.#ugh why can't I just be really fully completely ace? this is so unnecessary I don't want it it's horrible 😫#except it's not its the best it's fucking incredible because I think about his face and it's like I'm seeing everything and it all makes#sense finally and why would anything else ever matter again#oh my GOD dude if I could hear myself right now. I'd be so embarrassed. but I can't because there's just a billion tiny eliots and alexes#and jacobs in my head and that's all there is#man maybe I should start doing drugs or start drinking again#okay whatever *goes back to watching the librarians and giggling like a maniac every time I see him*#ugh he's wearing a cute jacket and I need to hug him so bad oh my god it's killing meee. soft soft soft. must touch. ugggh
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What do I have to do to never see graphic novel Taako ever again (/nbh)
#THAT FUCKER MAKES ME SO GODDAMN UNCOMFORTABLE I CAN'T STAND HIS FACE#I HAVE SO MANY TAGS BLOCKED TO TRY TO AVOID HIM BUT I STILL SEE HIM CONSTANTLY#NOT THE FAULT OF ANYONE HERE AND I GUESS IT'S UNAVOIDABLE WITHOUT LEAVING THE FANBASE ALTOGETHER#BUT HE MAKES MY FUCKING SKIN CRAWL I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT HIM#ESPECIALLY AFTER GETTING 'THE ADVENTURE ZINE' AND HOW CAREY USED TO DRAW TAAKO#LIKE. THEIR OLD DESIGN FOR TAAKO WAS BORING BUT THE GN VERSION IS SO MUCH WORSE NOW#BECAUSE SHE LIKE. ACTIVELY CHOSE TO GIVE HIM VISUAL TRAITS THAT ARE VERY SIMILAR TO CERTAIN ANTISEMITIC CARICATURES#(WHETHER SHE KNEW THEY WERE TRAITS OF THOSE CARICATURES OR NOT DOESN'T REALLY CHANGE THE FINAL PRODUCT)#ESPECIALLY SEEING THAT SHE USED TO DRAW TAAKO IN A COMPLETELY NORMAL WAY#AND THE LOOKS PAIRED WITH HOW THEY CHANGED HIM TO BE SO MUCH CRUELLER AND GREEDIER IN THE GRAPHIC NOVEL....#LIKE. CAN YOU UNDERSTAND WHY HE GIVES ME THE FUCKING CREEPS#I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT HIM I ONLY EVER ACTIVELY LOOK AT HIM WHEN DIRECTLY TALKING ABOUT HIM#I DON'T EVEN DISPLAY MY COPIES OF THE BOOKS. I ACTIVELY COVER THEM UP BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT HIM#OUGHGHGGGHHHHH AGAIN THIS ISN'T DIRECTED AT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR#HE JUST MAKES ME FEEL SICK TO LOOK AT AND I SEE HIM CONSTANTLY DESPITE HAVING EVERY TAG I CAN THINK OF BLOCKED#(EXCLUDING TAGS THAT INVOLVE THE ORIGINAL SERIES. IT'S SPECIFICALLY THE GN THAT BOTHERS ME)#(I DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT OUT OF THE PODCAST'S FANDOM BECAUSE I LOVE THE ORIGINAL)#(BUT THE GRAPHIC NOVELS OFTEN DON'T GET TAGGED WITH SEPARATE TAGS SO IT'S HARD TO FILTER OUT JUST THE COMICS)#(AGAIN LIKE. THIS MIGHT BE JUST ME AND I'M NOT TRYING TO VAGUE ANYONE BUT JUST. UGHGHHGHHGHHHHH HE MAKES ME SO UNCOMFORTABLE)#vent
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hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol
#purrs#delete later#not to liveblog and be tmi or whatever but i feel terribly alone and terribly miserable so this is in fact a cry for help lol. or really#comfort bc im fucking going insane. so for context last spring when i was still an intern another intern orchestrated this back channel#where everyone was supposed to talk shit about our supervisors (my dearest most belovedest mentors) and all of us hid it for months and it#all came to a head at asb 2022 because there was a lot of drama witb the asb student facilitators and our staff team. and it was sooooo ugl#and messy and horrible and probably played a direct role in one of my dearest beloved est mentors (who was the point person for asb) fuckin#getting a new job and abandoning us in july lol 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 and so i became a full time staff member and me and my remaining dearest belovedest#colleague besties fucking carried the world on oh r shoulders and put on amazing programs as just 3 of us in the core staff and we thought#we were doing a really good job with the asb 2023 leaders and that there were no drama dynamics or whatever and guess fucking what. tonight#we found out that half of them hate us for reasons we still don’t know and all of them are at each others throats and also some of the#participants feel a type of way about us. and i know i am being a fragile sensitive crybaby over it but i have had terrible cramps all day#and have barely slept since ive been here and feel like ive been bending over backwards to support the leaders only to find out that half o#them think we’re evil and i just… i couldn’t take it. so i cried and now im beating myself up for crying. but it’s like come ON. i know we#did a pretty imperfect job of preparing them for this. and i should just take responsibility for that and not be defensive. but it’s like…#have NEVER seen this program in person before or been part of the planning of it. i was just a student last year like all of you. and also#HOW many fucking times did we create space for you to talk to us and invite us in. and still this shit happened. and i just feel like a#failure. and i couldn’t react to that information in any way except cry liek it’s all so over my head and out of my depth and im not as#emotionally mature as my colleagues bc im the youngest and this is my first time dealing with this and i feel so incompetent and like i#failed. failed the first time by not speaking up when i was implicated in the stupid fucking Google form back channel situation last year#and now failed the second time by not being able to prevent this stupid drama bullshit from happening again and for not catching it. and jf#like… im in excruciating physical pain and haven’t slept and haven’t eaten well and my life is falling apart and we were ABANDONED BY THE#PERSON WHO WAS RESPONDIBLE FOR THIS (i know we weren’t abandoned she literally just got a new job i just have psychological issues) and#we’ve been running at a million miles per hour with absolutely no break and now you’re mad at us and not even telling us and it’s impacting#everyone’s experiences but you want to pretend this is fucking high school and keep secrets. i am TIRED of drama. i am TIRED of this stupid#bullshit. and not to say this bc i don’t know if asb 2022 drama factored into her decision to leave but if it did i get why * left now. i#get it. bc this shit makes me want to jump out the hotel window. i do not want to face any of them tomorrow and deal with more bullshit. i#am emotionally unstable and incompetent and not equipped to deal with this in a mature healthy way. i want this to be over NOW. im done.#ok i think that’s it um. sorry about that i just needed other people to know i am suffering and i will suppress the shame i feel about that#just this once. esp bc i denied myself the opportunity for my colleague besties to comfort me while i was crying and i regret it now lol
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