#why are names so important
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oobbbear · 1 year ago
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I want to post this here too because I’ve seen it happen a few times
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Please understand that there are cultural differences and language differences, if you see this happening let the person clarify what they meant, that person might just not be familiar with words the western side of the internet use
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slymanner · 1 year ago
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hurt my heart why dontcha.
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fridgrave2-0 · 5 months ago
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hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au
turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else
now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident
also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out
#turbo#turbotastic#fix it felix jr#80s boyfriends#hammertastic#headcanon about them exchanging their trophies isn't mine but i loved it A LOT#and “darling” is turbo making fun of how felix was calling him in 80s#this hc about “doll” and “darling” pet names also is not mine but i adore it#turbo here is a complete freak who just stays around felix most of the time even when felix has moments with calhoun#and felix is an ass who keeps secrets from everyone bc he doesn't want his dirt to come out#he's ashamed of his previous relationship with turbo and doesn't want anyone to know any details#and calhoun to just know about it#this just gets worse and worse#they also didn't actually break up and were still technically dating when turbo went gamejumping#and he's mad af at felix because he's the reason ppl in the acrade made a boogeyman out of turbo and he couldn't come back#like imagine your bf says to you what you are better than others think of you#and then behind your (presumably dead) back tells everyone that you're just an egocentric maniac#i believe turbo has other reasons why he gamejumped (besides jealousy which took place but wasn't the most important reason)#and felix is an unreliable narrator#so yeah turbo HATES his ass#(but still would-) no im not making it suggestive#anyway i hc that turbo had put A LOT of emotions in this relationship even tho he's bad at this#he tried his best with felix but they were just making each other worse#and turbo while feeling betrayed never really moved on (yes even after 25 years he's PATHETIC)#and felix is just full of regret about everything but he won't admit his mistakes in his relationship with turbo#bc “well he turned out to be a bad person so that automatically makes me in the right about everything”#but felix had made a lot of bad decisions while dating turbo and was just classically ignorant about a ton of things#sorry about this random ass essay in tags i'm done for now#wreck it ralph#wir
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bet-on-me-13 · 10 hours ago
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Undead Galaxy
So! Within the Ghost Zone, there exists a Lair unlike any other.
To a Ghost, a Lair is supposed to be an integral part of their Existence. When a Ghost Builds their Lair, they take a part of the Ghost Zone Itself and mold it into a Realm of their own, transforming it into a reflection of their Core.
As such, a Lair usually matches the personality, and more importantly the Obsessions, of the Ghost it was created by. It is meant to be the Eternal Home of the one who built it, a place to spend the rest of their eternal unlife, and as such it needs to be able to fulfill the Ghosts Obsessions.
Think of Skulkers Lair, an Island Jungle filled to the brim with Monsters and Beasts of all sorts, ready and waiting to be hunted down and skinned. The perfect home for a ghost with an Obsession based on Hunting.
Some take this a step farther, like the Ancients (which is just another name used for Gods in the Zone), who transform their Lairs into Entirely Seperate Afterlives for others to inhabit. Hades, Osiris, the Demon Lords of the various Hells, they all took this approach.
But there is a problem. For beings like God's, who are sustained by Worship, what would happen if their world were to die? If the planet their people resided on were to be hit by an asteroid, or blown up by an Alien warlord?
A God without its worship would Fade, and as such the Afterlife they used to maintain would fall apart as well. The Millions of Souls who trusted that God to protect them in death would be left to the mercy of the Void between Afterlives. Somebody decided that they didn't like that, and stepped in.
Within the Ghost Zone exists a Galaxy.
A Galaxy where all the souls and Afterlives of worlds that have died continue to exist. Worlds that were destroyed by a cataclysmic War that resulted in both sides dying, by unstable Mining Practices destabilize the Core, by a Psychic Virus that wiped out all life on Planet leaving a baren husk.
When their populations died, and the Gods who maintained their afterlives would have faded, they were saved by another and brought into his Lair.
The Ghost King, Phantom.
He was a spirit with two simple Obsessions. The Protection of others, and the Majesty of Space.
But there was no Space in the Ghost Zone, only the Infinite void. So he made his own. He constructed a Lair of incredible size, decorating it with Stars and Planets and Supernova and Nebula. He recreated the Majesty of the Space he adored, and the invited the wandering souls of dead worlds to enjoy it with him.
He gave them planets of their own within the Unliving Galaxy. All the souls of crumpled afterlives wandering the Ghost Zone were allowed to recreate it again, to find eachother and build their communities again.
With this he could fulfill both of his Obsessions at the same time, and he would he doing his duty as their king by helping his subjects.
He saw it as an absolute win.
...
They had been trapped in this strange dimension for days now.
Nobody had any idea how they ended up there. Clark had just fallen asleep, Diana was training, Hal was on patrol. Even J'onn himself was on Moniter Duty, when the next thing he knew they were all waking up on a floating purple rock in a Lazarus green void.
Thankfully Constantine that had been dragged alongside him when J'onn when he was taken, and managed to explain that they were in some kind of void in-between the afterlives.
"The Ghost Zone" "The Unending End" "The Collective Dead", it went by many names apparently. The most famous name for it was "The Infinite Realms", named for the way the infinite souls residing there would build their own personal Realms, or Lairs, to spend eternity in.
Not even he knew how they had ended up there. Constantine was confident that they hadn't died recently (the fact they needed to use "recently" was a sad thought), so it wasn't the old fashioned way at the very least.
Still, they needed to get moving. This place was dangerous and they didn't want to stay in one place for too long.
After days of traveling across the strange void (had they even eaten since they arrived there?) Constantine finally caught a hint of something. There was a draw on them, pulling them towards a specific direction. They had been unconsciously following it for days now, and now that they knew what they were doing they soldiered on even faster. If there were answers wherever they were being drawn, they would find them.
Once it came into view, it was obvious what had been calling to them this entire time. It was massive.
Spanning across the endless horizon, they could see something that looked like a Galaxy spanning in front of them. From their position on a floating island, they could see it in all its glory. Contrasting the green they had become accustomed to, the Galaxy swirled in a variety of Bright Blues and Deep Purples, with multicolored stars shining so brightly they stood out even as far as they were from it.
It took all their breaths away, and J'onn would admit to having stood there staring for longer than he should have. It was just so starkly different than anything he had seen thus far in this dimension of greens and purples.
"Beautiful isn't it?"
In an Instant their weapons were drawn and fighting stances set, facing the person who had appeared in their midst.
He was a young man, seemingly in his early 20's, with snow white hair and Lazarus green eyes. Above his head sat a crown glowing the same color as the galaxy spanning in front of them. They all knew instantly that this man was connected to it on a deep level.
"Who are you" Asked Diana. Her thoughts were filled with theat assessments and carefulness. She thought he was strong.
"Oh, my name is Phantom." He replied, "Sorry for startling you, this is one of my favorite spots to stargaze and I forgot that normal people usually can't see me when I zone out like that."
"What is that?" Clark asked, pointing to the Galactic Structure on the horizon. He was curious. The man before they didn't act hostile, so he had decided to match his energy.
"Oh, that's my Galaxy. Like it?" He asked excitedly, "Took me ages to get it looking just right, but I'm so proud of the results."
"Do you know why we are here?" Asked Hal, his mind was swimming with worry over his Sector of space. He had been taken while patrolling it. He wanted to get back quickly.
"I didn't bring you here, if that's what you're asking." He replied evenly, "But I know who did. They wanted to see you again, but with their Realms crumbled and their people scattered, they never had the chance. Now they do, and they wanted to say hello again. Sorry about the long journey, they messed up the Summoning process and you ended up a bit farther than intended."
"Who summoned us?" Asked Constantine warily. His thoughts were full of the various demons and gods he knew inhabited these Realms. He was worried.
"Well, You, accidently got dragged along through proximity, sorry." He apologized to the magician, "But as for the rest of you? Well, you'll just have to wait and see for yourselves. Trust me, it'll be a welcome surprise."
"Can you tell us where can we find the ones who summoned us?" Asked J'onn finally. He was curious, and wary, of who had decided to pull them into this dimension. But if the man before them was being truthful, then he wanted to meet them.
"Just keep following that pulling sensation that brought you here, you'll find them." He said, "I'll stay here for a while longer though. Just want to stargaze a bit more."
They left him on the island and kept going.
As the approached the Galaxy, it dawned on them how truly massive the realm in front of them was. Hal confirmed that it wasn't as big as a real one, but even he was in awe at its size.
As they drew closer is quickly became apparent that they were being drawn in different directions. After a quick discussion they decided it was best to split up.
J'onn approached the Planet he was being drawn to, and realized very quickly that it very closely resembled his old homeworld, Mars. The Red Sands, the Rocky Terrain, the two Moons that could be seen orbiting the planet, all of it seemed tailor made to resurface memories of his destroyed home.
It took all of a second for all of it to come together in his head.
The allusions Phantom had made to his summoners missing him. The resemblance to his old Homeworld. The fact he was currently in a version of the Afterlife.
As he made the connection in his head, he felt another two connections form. Ones he had not felt in the the Centuries since he had lost them.
"Hello, J'onn."
"...M'yri'ah..." His wife.
"Hi dad."
"...K'hym..." His Daughter.
It took nearly a full minute before his mind calmed enough to send them a response. It was a Whirlwind of wild thoughts, fear of this being a trick, and above all hope that it was real.
Eventually, he finally managed a response.
"I missed you."
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lazylittledragon · 1 month ago
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i can't believe i'm dealing with the barry bluejeans effect AGAIN where the character who broke my heart the most in dndads s2 was canonically dressed as the joker 75% of the time
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heynhay · 1 year ago
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redrew my old Romellura art that KD unearthed lolll
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kindaasrikal · 9 days ago
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I’ve talked about Kai and Morro’s similarities AND differences before, but here’s my very simple take on the whole wanting to be the green ninja thing they both desired.
Because that, despite seeming like a similarity at first, ended up being one of their most important differences.
Simply because Kai wanted to be the green ninja to protect, and Morro wanted to be the green ninja to survive.
No matter how many similarities people may draw up between the two, their differences will always be much stronger driving force between them. Mainly because all those differences stem off from the existence of Nya.
The similarities between Kai and Morro are so obvious as they both grew up as orphans, both having large egos and even larger prides, and have huge temperaments. They both desired power and they both needed respect from others.
With these similarities, you’d think the likeliness of Kai becoming just like Morro would be must larger. But it isn’t. It really isn’t bro.
And, stating it again, it’s solely because of the existence of Nya.
I’m pretty sure I’ve actually talked about this part before, but because of the existence of Nya in Kai’s life he learnt the need to protect more than the need to survive, unlike Morro. They both had nothing to their name, but only one had no one. Nya taught Kai the need to protect those who are too weak to do the same for themselves (Nya then also taught him that those who were once weak can very quickly become strong), and Nya taught Kai the importance of caring for others.
Nya ensured that Kai would never fall down the path of hate and greed because he had someone else to look out for, not just himself. Not like Morro, who had to quickly learn that if he didn’t look out for himself, it’ll be his undoing. He didn’t have, and then couldn’t afford, to care for others. He couldn’t take that risk. Didn’t want to. And so he never learnt the importance of protecting others when you have the ability too, and he never learnt how to love or care for others either.
Which is what affected their desires for the green gi so much.
Kai wanted the green gi so he would no longer be too weak to protect those he cared for. He no longer just had Nya, who was a lot more capable now, but he also had the other ninja and Wu. And slowly, he would have Lloyd too. He had people he needed to protect at all costs, and he had a duty to protect his entire planet from threats too. That’s why Kai wanted the green gi.
Morro needed the green gi to survive. He needed the green gi to prove to others that that useless street rat was capable of something and that he wasn’t one to mess around with. Morro knew that he had to survive in every situation he was thrown into. He needed that gi and that title and that power and that respect so people would be too scared of him. Because when you have power and respect, less people are likely to try mess with you.
Kai has the need to protect flowing in his damn veins. It’s quite literally one of the reasons he exists.
Morro has always wanted to survive no matter what life threw at him. It’s one of the reasons he ended up going so far to achieve what he wanted.
Which is why i also think Kai would wonder what would’ve happened to him if he didn’t have Nya, and knows he would’ve been exactly like Morro.
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arthur-lesters-left-arm · 4 months ago
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lose a yorick, gain a whoreick…such is life
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meteor752 · 7 months ago
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What the fuck is up with Hook
Why is he at some random prep school? He’s already got the hook hand, so Peter Pan has already cut it off meaning he’s been to Neverland, also he says he’s a captain so like why the fuck are you here
I hate this movie so fucking much, nothing about it makes sense to me, why is Hades a teenager, why did they make some fankid of a Sofia the first villain instead of using one of the many Disney Villains that exist, why is Maleficent a lackey, why am I devoting so much of my time to try and make sense of this movie
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dumbfucksystem · 3 months ago
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thinking about mafia shen family au. the system is fucking around with shen qingqius life again and is like yk what if ur not gonna tell your husband anything about yourself then ill force you to. have fun! :D
sqq doesn’t even have the time to think 'wtfff??' before Everything Happens. shen yuan’s soul gets shoved back into his original body just moments before he dies. in this version of the au he was choking on food, so he gets the lovely experience of having his airflow blocked again! lucky for him, the system dragged binghe along for the ride so he is saved before he dies again.
this route for mafia au means that the shen family never had to grieve shen yuan. im not sure how the Family reacts to their a-yuan suddenly having a very strong and intimidating significant other (boyfriend? husband?!??? wdym he got married without telling us!?!?) all of a sudden. does shen yuan come out to his family?? no, but also yes, but also not really. they knew he wasn't straight this entire time, so its more like they are coming out to him instead of the other way around. god knows they have bigger skeletons in their closets, they don't care if a twink is in there too.
there is less angst here, and it mostly centers around the comedic factor of shen yuan showing binghe around his house only for them to "stumble upon" an entire closet filled with guns..!?! shen yuan is just standing there in complete horror as binghe grabs a whole ass ar-15!?!?? hes looking at him with the most innocent eyes asking him what this strange metal object is. jesus fucking christ. his white lotus is holding a gun and now he has to explain gun control policies while his brain is leaking out of his ears. he opens his mouth right before an alarm starts blaring everywhere. he’s saved by the bell! except not really, because now six members of his Family are surrounding them and pointing several guns at binghe!!!!! what the actual fuck is going on here!!!!!! this is not how the 'meet the parents' arc is supposed to go!!
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girlatrocity · 30 days ago
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my sequel bait trio
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tanjir0se · 5 months ago
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Every time I think Sasuke’s clear and obvious homosexual obsession with Naruto might be maybe a little one sided, Naruto will do something absolutely insane like walk into his childhood room after two years, grab his dusty picture of Sasuke, gently brush it off, fingers lingering for a moment over Sasuke’s face, and lovingly whisper “Sasuke…I’m home…”
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nyupuun · 2 months ago
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Sandsurge with Eyes of Blue
I originally started this in August when I finished my Blue-Eyes Fandragon, and then I kind of... stopped working on it? It's been on my mind ever since, but I sort of lost motivation. I tried touching up on it but I wouldn't call this finished (There's no shine on her or anything like that, which I am too unmotivated to open now). I still want to post it so its out of my mind for now, maybe I'll revisit one day. By the way the pose is roughly inspired by Spirit with Eyes of Blue because they announced it at the time and it's one of the poses I thought fitting (that didn't include Blue-Eyes flying)
Hopefully I'll get started on drawing my other fandragons soon (and finish making them)
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da-janela-lateral · 7 months ago
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@marbleboa There are them! Tsuchiya and Mukai have been my favorite Scars since their first apparition and it's great to have an excuse to finally draw this idea I had some time ago!
The reason I like them is pretty silly, though, as when I watched the anime for the first time I just saw a woman being pissed off because someone broke a girl's dolls and I went "oh, so they're like me and my little sister : )"
I wonder what these two were up to after the definitive end of Claw...
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book-lover85 · 5 months ago
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Stay at home dad and artist on commission Keefe
#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#keefe sencen#sokeefe#he watches him and sophie's 5 year old little boy and 11 year old girl (she's currently applying for Foxfire) while sophie works#he does his own art pieces along with commissions at home#and the little boy can teleport so he's constantly dropping in on sophie and fitz at their job#(it's related to them being cognates or something idk)#and keefe has a panic attack because he looked away for one second to add a detail to his sketch and now his kid's gone#their kid drops into sophie's arms (or right outside the door of the building she works at)#and sophie gives him an eye roll and a disappointed look for freaking his father out and interrupting her#(he has absolutely appeared when she was in a super important meeting)#this is all based on the assumption that elves don't have some kind of basic schooling before foxfire or other schools like it#when he appears back at their residence (their leapmaster floor has an open roof for teleportation)#keefe is standing there frantically ready to catch him#and their girl (im shit with names) is standing there giving him a look like “I thought you weren't scared of anything”#and he's just caught the kid and is trying to rock him to sleep cause teleporting is tiring for a 5 year old#but he humors her while walking down the hall to his bedroom#“who said i wasn't?” “i do” “why?”#“nobody who actually beat an ogre would be scared of their child teleporting away”#“you'd be surprised”#(she doesn't beleive he actually fought dimitar and thinks it's an elaborate inside joke between sophie him and queen ro)#so they keep going back and forth with him being vague about the details because while he did beat dimitar#he is absolutely exaggerating all the details#“keefe you can't tell our kids you punched dimitar and he immediately surrendered” “please” “no”#and then they get to his room on the second floor and he shushes her so he can place the sleeping boy in his bed#i have so many thoughts about future sokeefe actually
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holocene-sims · 8 days ago
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next // previous
september 25, 2021 6:50 p.m. myshuno restaurant
why are you surprised?
grant fixates his gaze far away from his father’s fiancee, suddenly shrinking into himself when he realizes what her appearance means. she intends to talk. she’d walked him right over to the nearest bench–why else would she do that? and grant wishes he hadn’t agreed. he wishes he weren’t so brave now. he wishes he’d left faster, pretended he was in a rush, something of the sort.
you should have avoided this. all of this. this was a terrible–
the gentlest of prods at his shoulder stirs him from his racing thoughts.
“sorry. i'm still space-casing it.” grant shudders; she must have already asked him something.
if she’s bothered by his inattention, varpu doesn’t show it. instead, she smiles. not joyfully, though–it’s a thin-lipped smile that he can only describe as one of abject pity.
“i wanted to know if you were okay,” she repeats, “and no, i think i owe you an apology instead.”
“oh, i'm fine. and really, you don't.”
you are not fine.
fine doesn’t match the nagging ache in the core of his chest.
why are you upset anyway? why the fuck are you surprised? you knew all of this was coming. you knew he’d always–you didn’t. no, you bought it. you believed it somehow, in some way when he preached about being a better father.
“you are not a very good liar,” comes varpu’s retort. the pitying smile is still plastered on her face, though it slips more and more by the second, slowly replaced by an unreadable albeit piercing expression.
“it’s genetic.”
and you knew he was never going to stay. you even gave him your express permission.
and yet…
somewhere in the back of grant’s mind, a much younger version of himself–the child who experienced the worst abandonment life has to offer–is crawling out of the woodwork and screaming for attention, screaming so loud that he can think of nothing but that child’s agony. bad memory after bad memory floods grant’s remaining bandwidth. he’d barely shut them out at the table, only for them to resurface in a tidal wave the very moment he let his guard down.
“yeah, actually, you know, i don’t think i'd probably use the word fine right now, no.”
varpu knew that, of course. not an ounce of bewilderment dwells in her response. “i'm not sure i understood what happened in there, but nonetheless, i do owe you an apology. i'm sorry. it was my idea to invite you, and that doesn’t seem to have been good for you.”
“it’s not your fault.”
“i fear that it is,” she replies, and at last, it’s her turn to avert her gaze–she turns to face the alleyway on their right “it was also at my insistence that he reached out to you last year. i don’t think that was good for you either.”
“maybe, maybe not. i wouldn’t hold my dad being my dad against you, though. i appreciate that you’ve tried to do the right thing. you’ve been much kinder to the estranged son of your college sweetheart than i'd really have ever expected, and it doesn’t go unnoticed.”
varpu, underdressed for the weather without her coat, shivers as a cold autumn breeze whips by them. she turns back towards him, wrapping her arms close to her chest, and just shakes her head. “why wouldn’t you expect that i'd be kind to you? i'm a mother. it’s my responsibility to treat you like i treated my own children.”
“you can probably guess why i don’t expect that.”
“i didn’t want you to feel left out,” varpu muses, now nervously picking at her dress sleeves, “that’s why i invited you tonight. you have a complicated relationship with your father, and him remarrying and having another family must be uncomfortable for you, but i wanted you to know you would be a part of our lives, that you do have a place with us.”
“no, i very much get that from you. i can tell you care about including me.” grant winces. “my dad, your kids...not so much.”
“i only found out he hadn’t invited you to help with wedding plans or told you about the move this morning–he said he had, and i believed him, which was, as i see now, very silly of me. and my children,” varpu says, letting out a deep sigh, “i should have made you aware that they’re apprehensive about you. it’s not you, it’s…”
“no, it’s definitely me.”
varpu shuts him down. “it isn’t you. they have a good relationship with your father, and they’re very attached to him. they spent most of their lives without a father in their lives, my first husband passed away a long time ago, and having someone to be in that role now is…”
“a big deal. of course. if i were in their shoes, i might feel the same way about him. also, my condolences. i didn’t know that about, um, you know, you, but yeah, i'm sorry you had to go through that. that's terrible. and that makes sense. i mean, as in why your kids would probably not trust me. they don’t, right? you can be honest. it has to be a little bit about me. they don’t trust someone who doesn’t like my dad the way they do.”
“yes. i should have told you that, and i think i should have been much clearer about your relationship with your father to them. it was also very silly for me to think they'd change their minds before you noticed there was any distrust.”
“how much do you know about our relationship?”
she shrugs. “that it's complicated, that he let your mother abuse you. he didn’t lie to me about that. no, in fact, he was very forthcoming about his life since we last spoke years ago. at least i thought he was. i'm a little skeptical now, looking back and having realized he wasn’t being honest with you. if he lies to you, he very well may lie to me.”
“it makes me a little mad to know he’s just, like, chill with someone else’s kids.” the ache in grant’s chest flares with the heat of a billion suns. anger–the ache is anger, the purest he’s felt in years. “sorry. dick thing for me to say. and think. it’s horrible that a part of me wants him to be a piece of shit like he was to me with everyone else, right? no, i don’t really want that. you and your kids don’t deserve that, it’s just–”
“it stings.”
he almost laughs. “it’s so fucked. he can move on, have a new family, like a family he cares about, a family he does stuff with, a family he talks to about important topics, a family he’ll move for, a family he’ll fight for, a family he respects, and–” and again, too, the anger flares. “and he can just abandon me with no qualms. i was always nothing to him. jesus christ, none of my siblings were either. one’s dead, one’s still estranged, and he doesn’t even think about them.”
“the unfortunate thing is i think he doesn’t want to abandon you.”
“now that i have to argue with you on. he's done it before, so he's very likely doing it right now, too.”
the pitying smile returns to varpu’s face. “as far i know, as of this morning, he doesn’t believe you’ll ever forgive him or trust him. he feels rejected by you, and he's reacting to that feeling. i think. i can no longer prove he was telling me the truth about this, but..."
“oh, he feels rejected? fantastic, maybe he finally gets how i feel then. rejection fucking blows, doesn't it? also, that’s just ridiculous. i don't know how he can claim that. i came to meet him last year, i met him earlier this year, i let him meet my ex-fiancee, i took his phone calls, and i showed up tonight. he’s even admitted before i'm putting effort in. where the fuck is this rejection claim coming from? is it because i'm not falling over myself to kiss the ground he walks on?"
“i've truly disrupted your life by encouraging him to talk to you. i'm sorry.”
grant shrugs. “it’s okay. you were very positive in assuming things were salvageable, but he’s always going to be the same piece of shit to me at the end of the day, and i'm always going to be bitter and refuse to forgive him. i think we’d only be on the same page if i just rolled over like i used to."
“why did you try to reconnect, though? why agree?”
“fuck, i have no idea. it’s ultimately my fault for saying yes.”
why did you?
nothing comes to mind. nothing in particular. only the vaguest list of shitty excuses, the same ones he’s thrown at family members time and time again trying to justify his perennial need to prove the people who hurt him love him, actually.
he no longer wants to roll over like a coward, but–
“simple enough, i guess i want to hope he loves me.”
“what does that look like to you?”
his first response, once more, is to shrug helplessly. “i don’t know. i can’t say he didn’t try at all. he tried to apologize, tried to talk things out, tried to include me. even if he was lying about it or faking to win me over...well, i still bought that he was trying, but it never pleased me. it never felt like enough. god, this all, like, sounds insane, doesn’t it? i'm having this whole meltdown over one night.”
“but it’s not about one night, is it?”
grant’s breach catches in his throat. it’s not, not at all. the unruly child screaming in his head is showing him a pile of evidence, thirty years worth.
“no.”
“and it’s not salvageable, is it?” varpu asks next.
if his father ran outside right now and proclaimed with his soul his love, would it satisfy him? would it cure the ache in his chest, soothe the raging child in his head, turn his bitterness into saccharine peace?
he dwells on it for only a moment before an earth-rending realization dawns on him, and for once in his life, the answer is clear as day.
“no. there’s…” grant stops himself, peering up at the sky. “there is nothing he could do to fix this. i don’t think i want him to love me. i want for what happened to me to have never happened, but time traveling to the past inherently violates the second law of thermodynamics, so that’s unfortunately impossible.”
“i suspect you don’t need my advice, but you shouldn’t be afraid to act on that. your father is a grown man. he can continue to live with the consequences of his actions. you live with them, so can he.”
“that’s very true. uh, and yeah, i think i have to. again, that is. i have to tell him to fuck off again. i'll give it a few days, but yeah.”
varpu stays quiet, acknowledging him with an encouraging nod.
“so, i'll be completely honest with you..." grant trails off.
"please do."
"i doubt i will ever see you again after tonight, but it’s not personal. i just want to make that clear, in case it matters. i do mean it when i say your kindness is appreciated. i care that you care, and you’ve been nicer than my own parents did somehow. thank you."
"you're welcome seems a terribly inadequate response, but..."
"you're welcome is fine. best of luck with the wedding and the house search. regardless of how i feel about my father or the fact he has a new family, i don’t wish any harm your way. if you want to build a life with him, have at it. i know what i said earlier is not in line with what i'm saying now, but i hope the future is good to you specifically, and i hope it’s not disappointing i don’t want to be a part of it.”
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