#‘and is still working some things out in regards to it’

[bum-tan]

Honestly, I'm genuinely surprised that Cartman isn't the bicycle of the South Park Fandom and that the ships involving him aren't as enjoyed as other ships.

Don't get me wrong ! I love Creek and Stendy, and I believe they are popular in their own rights; I just find it weird that ships involving Cartman aren't nearly as popular as they could be, especially considering the fact that almost every prominent character has material and a bit of chemistry with him in the show.

For instance:

-Cartman's rivalry with Kyle and their complex frenemies/love-hate dynamic with intense interactions due to often conflicting morals and ideals, which is the base of many episodes. The fact that their very identities are complete opposite from one another, but they still share similar key traits such as being stubborn, egotistical, and driven. Their mutual obsession and the odd codependent nature of their relationship where they just have to one up the other. The constant back and forth where Kyle wants Cartman to change and become a better person, while Cartman wants to break Kyle and prove he is just as bad, if not worse than him. Of course, let's not forget that on the occasions where they do team up towards a common goal and set aside their differences, they work efficiently together. Moreover, they get along surprisingly well when they simply hang out and there is no clashing beliefs or morally charged disagreements. But what makes this ship truly interesting is that despite everything, it has been shown multiple times that they still care for each other, which adds even more nuance to their overall dynamic.

-His evolving relationship with Butters, that started off as extremely harmful and one-sided, is now a more balanced friendship. Butters, who is nice to everyone in general, is especially nice to Cartman and seems to hold him in high regards not just because/in spite of being afraid of him. He is more likely to choose Cartman's side every time there is a conflict and often provides unconditional support. As for Cartman, he has stopped tormenting Butters and he is even nice to him on some occasions due to Butters' loyalty. Furthermore, it has been shown that Cartman confides in Butters, which indicates a certain level of trust on his end, cementing that Butters is a close friend he can rely on. Of course their relationship is still far from perfect, but Butters isn't as naive anymore; he is now familiar with Cartman's cruel nature, having been personally subjected to it. Butters will stand up to Cartman when he reaches his limits and openly express his frustration at times because he no longer blindly chases after his approval. Nevertheless, he still sticks around and helps Cartman because he does care about him.

-Kenny being Cartman's best friend and arguably the one who understands him the most out of anyone in the gang due to their similarities like having the same humor, which usually makes Kenny go along with Cartman's antics, and the same interests (anime, video games, horror movies). The fact that they both have dysfunctional households (Kenny's troubled home with parents who always fight, and Cartman being the son of a neglectful single mother); as well as the fact they're both outcasts because Kenny is poor and Cartman is fat (poor, fatherless, his mom is a whore-) which are all things they can bond over. The occasional rivalry they have (the coon), though not as intense as the one between Kyle and Cartman, is still entertaining. How the show sometime hints at Cartman being aware of Kenny's multiple deaths and immortality (more consistently than other characters like Stan or Kyle, mind you) which adds more potential to their dynamic. Their mutual care for one another albeit in an unconventional way. Adding to all of that is how their relationship has its highs and lows, but they still ultimately remain close friends.

-The fact that Stan is one, if not the only person, Cartman is ever consistently nice to; while he may rip on him for having a crush on Wendy and for being too sensitive at times, it's never truly mean spirited more than it is to tease him. Most of the animosity he showcases towards Stan stems from him, more often than not, siding with Kyle during disagreements as Kyle is the most "reasonable" between the two. More proof of that would be how Cartman will sometime go out of his way to help Stan out when he is distressed, without any ulterior motives or grand agenda whatsoever. He will also encourage Stan when the latter forms his own opinion and acts on his own accord, all while disregarding others expectations. Of course, this is all only when Stan isn't getting in his way, because it's still Cartman we're talking about; but even then, it's apparent that he likes Stan, even if the other doesn't seem to particularly like him. They do have moments though where Stan seems to genuinely enjoy Cartman's company when the other kids aren't around. All in all, their dynamic is just as compelling as the others to explore.

-The episode where Wendy has a crush on Cartman and kisses him. That episode clearly shows they can get along when they work together and that Wendy can find him attractive. However, their overall relationship throughout the show is tense and antagonistic; Wendy is not scared to call him out and put him in his place for what she thinks is just, that alone makes her stand out to Cartman because she doesn't match the image he has of girls (His passive mom, other girls at school who'd rather just ignore him, the girls in the media he consumes etc.). While he usually dismisses Wendy or makes fun of her, he does feel intimidated by her, as shown in the episode where she beats him up. Cartman seems especially mean to Wendy since he dislikes being so openly criticized, especially by a girl. However, it can also be inferred that he respects her even if it's in his own twisted way. As for Wendy ? Well, she is frustrated with him mainly due to his obnoxious and bigoted behaviour, but doesn't harbour personal hatred towards him like Kyle. The implications and potential of their dynamic are what makes the pairing interesting.

Obviously there is also Cartman's entire relationship with Heidi before and after they started dating, which I don't think I even need to expand on as it was canon in the show and had its dynamic fully explored throughout season 20. All of this, despite Heidi not even being a recurring character, as opposed to the ones I previously mentioned along with others like Craig, and his friends (Clyde, Tolkien, Jimmy, Tweek, etc.) which, by the way, I could go on and on about as well (shout out to people who shipped or still ship Cartman's rare pairs).

Clearly, Cartman is a very compelling character, and he has interacted with almost every kid in the show. There are people who have shipped characters for less (Dip, for example, which is also a ship I like, so I am part of those people), so why not ship him sometimes ?

It's understandable that some fans just don't like Cartman due to how much of a bad person he is, (he is supposed to be hated. Afterall, he represents so much of what is wrong in our society), so it would feel wrong for them to put him under any other light than "horrible bastard". Other fans are just not comfortable shipping him in general since he doesn't fit the usual aesthetic as he is fat (I would argue that doesn't necessarily make him ugly, but I digress).

I for one think it's okay to like Cartman and it's worth addressing that ships involving him deserve more love. Does this mean I condone his actions and agree with his problematic mindset? No. I like him in the realm of fiction only, and that doesn't stop me from exploring and playing around with his character in ways like shipping (wether romantic or platonic).

A ship isn't always "this would be so cute and nice, and it's totally canon!" Sometimes it's "This relationship is fascinating, and exploring it further would be really interesting." It's really fun too.

Got too deep there for a moment lol. Anyways, thanks for reading until the end if you're still here, and have a nice day. I'm out !

[reality-shitting]

I think I cracked my personal puzzle regarding consciousness and shifting.

First things first, no, I did not have a full shift. I'm shifting before the 30th however, because I said so.

So! What happened?

Well. I was just sitting around last night, wondering about some questions I had still regarding our practice. I was asking myself "How come we never see any posts from shifters 'clones' while the consciousness has shifted?"

(Note: I hate the clone term and I know it's inaccurate, but I'm writing this on my lunch so I'm on a time crunch and it's the first way I could think of to describe it. Anyways.)

And then I said, well, what if we do? Who's to say the me here isn't still posting about shifting and how I've never done it, while *I* am actively in my DR? If my consciousness is in my other reality, does that mean the old me is not conscious? No, that me is still conscious, still aware. But then if the old me is still conscious, does that mean I am *not* consciousness? I don't necessarily think so. I think I've come to realize that the radio analogy feels like the closest explanation.

If you haven't heard the radio analogy, it's essentially that your "original" self (again, not accurate but the best wording for a crunch) and your DR self are two different radio stations. You, as a consciousness, need to tune your frequency from the first you to the next. So you turn your dial, move through the static, and now you're on your preferred station.

I'm a very visual thinker, so I think it'd be better if I demonstrated what I'm saying with a picture.

This is our current reality. You are "here". You are witnessing your life as person A. You may notice that there's a little dangle beneath you, connecting you to your body. That is Consciousness. (Pretend person B has it too, I forgot it in this one lol)

This is when you're tuning your frequency. This is you in the process of shifting. You're in-between, here and there. Both a and b are connected. This is where "mini" shifts, memories and other senses from World B download into consciousness A. This is why I believe @/kerryshifts could see reality warping and molding around them.

The channel has changed. You have fully shifted. You are witnessing your life as person B. You are connected to that life, that awareness. Notice how when you shift, the connector on A isn't gone. Person A is still aware, still has consciousness, still has awareness. This is why you don't end up in a comatose/unconscious state when you shift from awareness to awareness. Life goes on as usual, even if you are not witness to it.

So are you the awareness, the consciousness or something else?

I think, and this is me, that either the awareness/consciousness stays within the body, in a sense. One of them is mental and linked to the brain's perception of reality. The other is the spiritual perception of reality, what we may refer to as a ghost or spirit. The spiritual observer is what I think we are. We are the radio waves traveling through the air, connecting from one antenna to the next. I could absolutely be wrong and I'm still working through this part, so absolutely feel free to give your own interpretation in replies/rbs.

So! I've cracked my own understanding of shifting. What do I do with this information?

...I don't know!

I feel as though I've cracked the lament configuration and all it did was spit out confetti and a $5 coupon for little ceasers. I have been given the key to unlocking the universe and now need to find the door. I've been given a cryptic message from a loved one just as they die. I have solved one piece of the puzzle, but I'm missing the other half. I have. No clue how to translate this in my journey. It's both eye opening and exhilarating but also anti climactic. I've climbed a mountain, just to find a brick wall upon my descent. A map that leads to treasure, yet has no directory.

But, progress is made in chunks. And I'm very pleased with holding the key. Now I just need to create the door.

[oddinary4bts]

Be With You | ch 6

☆summary: who knew that the hot guy you've been paired with for a class project is also a kind soul? Certainly not you, and you feel yourself falling even though you know you shouldn't. Will it be your demise, or will it all work out in the end?

☆pairing: Choi San x female!reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, this chapter contains mature content)

☆genre: slow burn strangers to lovers, college!au, smut, angst and fluff

☆warnings: an ikea trip, way too much domesticity, sydney and yunho <3, our favourite dimples, cursing, they watch Deadpool and Wolverine, mentions of alcohol, mentions of Jungkook, explicit content: hickey, ass slapping, fingering, clit play, oral sex (female and male receiving), edging, grinding, jerking off, big dick!San, protected sex, nipple play, praising, a hint of degradation

☆word count: 14.1k

☆series masterpost

☆add yourself to the taglist here

☆a/n: hope you guys like this chapter!!! the simps be simping if you know what i mean ;) and thank you to @moonleeai for your amazing work as my beta reader, I love you and am forever thankful for you <3

☆☆☆☆☆

Cold snowflakes Withered down Until you bloom As a spring flower I'll be with you

Be With You, Ateez (english translation)

☆☆☆☆☆

Saturday, October 12th

You don’t know how San convinced you to go with him to Ikea.

But then again, you doubt you’d ever be able to refuse those sparkly eyes of his, especially when they’re paired with his slight pout. Indeed, the second he’d regarded you like a lost puppy when you’d initially denied the invitation, you folded and accepted to accompany him, if only so that he stopped looking so sad.

That, and the fact that you were supposed to work on your project and that he was refusing to let it go as long as you didn’t say you’d go with him.

Obviously you still managed to get some work done - you really are a great team with Choi San - even though you have to admit that his lips and his dimples have grown even more distracting now that you’ve started getting accustomed to their taste. Luckily for you, San had insisted on meeting at the library, and he sat on the other side of the table the whole time, so close yet too far to touch. 

He walked you home after and kissed you outside, but this time you weren’t able to convince him to come sleep over, since he was supposed to meet up with Jongho at the gym after your study session.

You push the thoughts away as you stretch in bed, the early hour mocking you. You rarely get up early on the weekend, but San insisted to go first thing in the morning so that you could build the furniture in the afternoon, and then he mentioned that he had an activity planned for the two of you, as a thank you for helping him.

He’s convincing. It’s annoying, but Choi San is highly convincing when he wants something. You can’t even blame him - you do want to spend time with him anyway, no matter how vulnerable being with him makes you feel.

You’re surprised you haven’t gotten scared yet. Every day you expect to wake up with fear in your heart regarding your… situationship with San, yet so far you’ve only been filled with excitement when it comes to him, the sweet taste of the honeymoon phase far too strong for the fear to take hold in you.

It’s also been three years since you got broken beyond repair by Jungkook. Maybe it’s a sign that you’ve healed, that your mind and body are finally ready to move on despite the heartbreak that Jungkook caused you.

Or maybe it’s like your mother once said - when you meet your person, you’ll know. And even though it’s only been a few weeks, you think you know.

You just hope you won’t be proven wrong.

You glance at your phone, turning off the blaring alarm. It’s 8 AM, and San is coming to pick you up in thirty minutes, so you quickly get up to get ready. You prepared your outfit yesterday night, so you throw your clothes on quickly, and then put a bit of makeup on to hide your tiredness. You stop by the kitchen next to eat a quick breakfast - hard-boiled eggs in soy sauce - and then you brush your teeth.

You’re ready just in time for San to text you that he’s downstairs, and you’re putting your jacket on by the front door when Sydney walks out of Yunho’s room, yawning.

You look at her, cocking an eyebrow, and then she glances down at herself. 

“Whoops,” she lets out.

“You could have at least put some pants on,” you tease her.

She’s indeed only wearing one of Yunho’s shirts, but luckily for you, it reaches to her mid-thighs, so she’s not putting on too much of a show.

“Shut up, I’m just going to the bathroom,” she grumbles with a light blush on her cheeks, and you just laugh at her

“Lucky you,” you let out. “I’m heading out now.”

“We might see each other tonight,” she says as you bend down to put your shoes on.

You look up, meeting her gaze. “Huh?”

“San told Yunho that we could come with you guys at the arcade,” she explains. “He didn’t tell you?”

You frown, and then realization hits you. “Oh, that’s what he’s planning.”

“Did I just spoil a surprise?” Sydney says with a wince.

“Don’t worry about it,” you reassure her. “I don’t think he’ll mind since he invited you guys.”

You’re not sure she’s reassured, but she looks far too tired to apologize further. So you finish putting your shoes on, grabbing your purse and then waving goodbye to her as she just stays there, leaning against Yunho’s door.

You’ll give her shit for the hickey on her neck later today.

*****

San is waiting right in front of your building, his hazard lights on as he couldn’t quite park on the side of the road. He waves at you with a bright smile on as he sees you walking out, and your lips curve upwards as you wave back, jogging to his car.

“Good morning!” you greet him as you get into the car, settling down in the passenger seat. 

You pull on the seatbelt, though San stops you with a hand on your jaw, turning your face towards him. You’re startled for half a second before he’s pecking your lips, but then you quickly melt, giving into the kiss.

It’s sweet, yet shorter than you’d wish it to be. It still leaves you with your cheeks burning and heart beating wildly, especially as San pulls away, pecking your forehead before he sits back into his seat.

“Good morning,” he greets you back. 

“What was that for?” you ask as you put your seatbelt.

He winks at you, dimples on display. “Couldn’t help myself.”

“Right, right.”

He just grins, full of sweet innocence that makes you want to kiss him again, and this time kiss him good, but he turns off his hazards, driving away a second later.

“Hope you’re ready,” he tells you.

“How far is it again?” you ask, grabbing your phone out of your purse as if it’ll bring the answer.

“It’s a forty-five minute drive,” San replies. “We can stop at a café if you want something to eat on the way.”

“I should be okay, I ate breakfast before you picked me up.”

He nods, and you assume he’s also eaten because he doesn’t mention a café again, instead asking you how your evening was yesterday.

You spent it at home with Sydney, talking about everything and nothing as you watched some music videos on YouTube, which quickly led to an impromptu karaoke session interrupted by Yunho coming home from the bar.

Indeed, the boys all decided to hang out last night, and though both San and Yunho claimed they tried to get you invited, the others were firm on the evening being boys only. Not that you mind - you hadn’t hung out with just Sydney in a while, so it was great to spend time with your best friend.

You even baked some sugar cookies that you ate far too quickly, and that kept you up for the first part of the night once you’d headed to bed.

“Why is there traffic?” San complains ten minutes later, when his car comes to a halt behind another car on the highway.

You glance at him, the pout on his lips endearing. “It’s fine,” you reassure him, patting his thigh. “At least we’re together.”

You’re about to pull your hand away when he drops his on top of yours, interlacing your fingers. “You know what, you’re right.” He brings your hands up, pecking the back of yours. “Thanks again for coming with me.”

You gulp, the affectionate gesture taking you by surprise, and you find yourself unable to reply for a few seconds, your mind swirling with your budding feelings for Choi San.

“Of course,” you eventually reply. “I couldn’t abandon you.”

“You’re my knight in shining armour,” San teases.

You chuckle, and then a new song comes on the radio, one that you and Sydney sang far too loud yesterday. You immediately turn the volume on, bright smile on your lips as you glance at San.

“I love this song!” 

He just smiles back, and then you’re singing. He joins in, and his voice is clear, stable, far more beautiful than yours could ever be.

San sings like you imagine crystal sounds like. 

“Damn,” you tell him when the song ends. “When were you going to tell me that you’re a good singer?”

He throws you a quick look before focusing on the road in front of him again. “I don’t sing well.”

“Bullshit.”

He chuckles, though it’s shy, his cheeks tinting with pink. “I really don’t.”

“Shut up,” you insist, pulling your hand away from his so that you can fold your arms on your chest. You frown slightly, lips jutting out in a small pout. “Just take the compliment.”

That makes him laugh, and you can’t help but smile at the sound, especially as he meets your gaze with those sparkling eyes of his, even as the dimples on his cheeks steal your attention. 

“Well thank you, then,” he says. “I appreciate it.”

He looks awkward saying so, and you can’t blame him - you too are shit with compliments. So you make a mental note to shower him with compliments, if only so that you can help boost his self-esteem.

Not that you think Choi San is insecure. On the contrary, his cockiness and easy flirting tell you that he’s more on the confident side, but you still want to make him happy.

Gosh. You’d laugh at yourself if you heard your thoughts for him a year ago.

It ends up taking a little over an hour for you to arrive to Ikea, but San manages to get parking near the doors, which is a relief considering that it started raining five minutes ago. You quickly jog to the building together, and then you’re engulfed with warmth as you step in, San grabbing a cart by the door.

“In case we get some decorations,” he offers as an explanation.

You nod your head, and then you follow him in as you walk into the Ikea proper. 

It’s overwhelming - the store is huge, and you get lost in the maze that it’s made of, though the presence of San at your side is comforting. You end up messing around in the couch section, trying every couch as if your life depends on it. It leads to a lot of laughs - and a couple side eyes from the other customers - but you can’t bring yourself to care.

You think you gain a couple more months of life whenever you hear San laughing after all.

“I don’t think that one would work with Byeol,” you say as you motion to a dark green couch that looks like it’s straight out of a Victorian house. “But goddamn, I love it.”

San smirks. “It’s giving rich.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “This is Ikea, how rich can it be?” But then you gaze at the price tag, your eyes widening. “Never mind.”

“One day,” San says solemnly as he too takes a look at the price tag, wincing at the expensive price. “One day we’ll have a fancy house with all the fancy furniture that you want.”

His words have your heart racing in your chest. Knowing he’s imagining a future with you…

You can’t help the grin on your lips as you follow him towards what appears to be different models of bedrooms.

“You’re adorable,” San says with a soft voice, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to press a quick kiss on the top of your head.

“So are you,” you fire back. “Already imagining us living together.”

“Why not?” he says, stopping in his tracks to let a woman and her kid pass in front of the cart. “That’s most of the fun of being at Ikea.”

“And here I thought it was because of me.”

San laughs as he starts pushing his cart forward again, and you follow him quickly. “It is because of you. How can I help myself when I have a beautiful girl with me?”

You flush red. “Ew, you’re so cheesy.”

He grins, winking at you. “And you love it.”

You don’t have it in you to deny it, so you just roll your eyes as you make your way to the bedroom section.

San already knows what night table he wants - he just wants a second one like the one he already has - and so he quickly finds it, noting down the name of it before you continue your journey in the store. He ends up choosing a small desk for the walk-in closet as well, and then you’re walking through the kid section, your eyes catching on a plushie.

“Oh my God!” you let out, grabbing the small, pink pig. “It’s adorable.”

San just smiles at you as you put it in the cart. “Are you really buying this?”

“No, you’re buying it for me,” you shoot back with a wink.

He burst out laughing, grabbing the plush toy and putting it back where you took it. You make to fold your arms on your chest in protest, but he pulls on your arm, making you fall in his embrace.

“I’ll get you something better tonight,” he says as a promise, pecking the top of your head.

You’re frozen. Before him, you would have been horrified at the public display of affection, but with him it just feels right. Feels like you should always be falling into his arms, if only so that he can peck the top of your head after.

You wrap your arms around his waist, tilting your head back to look at him. “Yeah.”

He nods, delivering a sweet kiss to your forehead next. “Yes, I promise.”

“And let me ask,” you say, a smirk slowly growing on your lips. “Where are you going to get me something better?”

“You’ll see,” he replies enigmatically, taking a step back.

So he’s unaware that Yunho told Sydney, and that Sydney told you. Not wanting to disappoint him and ruin the surprise, you pretend like you don’t know, instead grumbling, “It better not be some furniture making.”

“What about baby making?”

You stumble on your feet, your cheeks flushing red as you punch him in the arm. He only laughs, a wide grin on his lips as he looks at you.

“Jesus fuck, San, we’re in public,” you grit through your teeth.

He shrugs, looking around the two of you. “Does it look like somebody heard?”

It really doesn’t, yet the embarrassment clings to you as he starts walking away, pushing the cart towards the decoration section. Your cheeks are still tinted with pink by the time he stops to grab a decorative pillow, showing it to you.

“Do you think this would look good on the couch?” he asks.

You take a deep breath, pursing your lips. “I think so? Would Byeol be okay with it?”

“She’ll probably sleep on it,” San says, and he immediately drops the pillow in the cart, adding another one a second later. “Sold.”

You laugh, your embarrassment finally dwindling away, and then you continue to walk through the store, stopping when San sees a fake plant that he claims would look good in his bedroom, on the new night table he’s getting.

As he says so, your eyes are attracted to three little black sculptures of a bear, a squirrel and a bunny, and you point towards them, smiling excitedly.

“This!” you just say.

San looks towards you, his brow creased in confusion. “Huh?”

“You have to buy this.”

He eyes the little statues, cocking his head to the side. “Where would I put them?”

“With the plant!”

He chuckles at your enthusiasm. “Byeol will probably make them fall.”

You pout, offering him the best puppy eyes you can muster up. He rolls his eyes, a smile playing at the corners of his lips, and he grabs a box, putting it in the cart.

“Happy?” he asks you.

You nod your head quickly, grinning. “Hell yeah.”

You burst out laughing at the same time, and then you’re heading to the warehouse area. There’s no trolley available for the boxes with the furniture, so you end up playing Tetris in the cart, managing to get everything in there. You have to hold onto one of the boxes though, and you do so as you head to the register so that San can pay.

Luckily for you, by the time that’s done and you step outside, the rain has stopped, and though puddles litter the ground, you make your way to the car without getting wet. San opens the trunk, and then puts the backseat down so that you can fit the boxes in the car. It’s a tight fit, yet you manage to close the trunk, putting the cart away before finally climbing into the car, right in time with the rain starting again.

“This weather sucks,” you drily comment, and San chuckles next to you.

“Perfect weather to be stuck inside all day building some furniture.”

You groan. “You’re really going to make me do this?”

To your surprise, San misses your teasing tone. Indeed, he pouts, quickly saying, “Well, you really don’t have to help. Sorry if I made you feel like you have to.”

“San!” You grab his hand to attract his attention. “I was just teasing you. Of course I’ll help.”

He smiles victoriously, and you only then understand the manipulation that just happened. He flicks your nose as he winks, and then he’s turning the key in the ignition, and his car comes to life.

“I think I might hate you a little,” you grumble.

He laughs heartily. “You really don’t.”

If only he knew how right he is. Because there’s not a single ounce of your body that holds hate for the man sitting next to you. 

The drive back ends taking just as long as the drive to the store, and San insists on stopping at a café to grab something to eat - for strength for the furniture making, he claims. You don’t complain, your stomach grumbling as you’re waiting in line. San teases you for it, and you narrow your eyes at him, trying your best at glaring but failing miserably. 

“You’re adorable,” San says, and he grabs your hand, pulling you into his side. “Thank you for coming to Ikea with me.”

Your heart flutters, and your glare melts into a soft smile as you reply, “Thank you for inviting me.”

He simply nods, pulling you to the counter when the person in front of you finishes ordering. 

“Hello,” the barista says. “What can I get for you?”

San glances at you quizzically, and you get the cue, smiling at the barista. “Huh, I’ll have…” you trail off as you scan the menu behind her. “The ham and brie sandwich, please.”

She nods. “Do you want it grilled?”

“Yes.”

She smiles, glancing towards San once before setting her gaze on you again. “Anything to drink?”

“Just a hot chocolate, please.”

She puts your order in, and then San tells her he’ll have the same thing. He pays, refusing to split the bill, and then he pulls you to the side as you wait for the order to be ready. It doesn’t take too long, and San guides you to a table in the corner so that you can eat.

“Shouldn’t we head to yours?” you ask as you sit.

“Gotta eat these sandwiches while the cheese is melted,” he points out, and he immediately takes a bite of his.

You chuckle, nodding. “Wise move.”

You eat quickly, sharing light conversation here and there while rain lashes at the vitrine of the café. It makes for a gentle ambiance, especially with the soft indie music playing in the background, and you end up lazing around for a little while once you finish eating, sipping on your hot chocolate while San tells you about his latest work-out at the gym, saying that you should go with him.

“One day,” you say. “One day I’ll go with you.”

He pouts. “That sounds like you won’t.”

You wink at him, taking a sip of hot chocolate as you remain silent. He just chuckles, and then the conversation moves to the midterm that you have next week, and the study session you’re supposed to have with him tomorrow.

Though Wooyoung and Sydney are also supposed to come, as you’ll study at the library. 

A little while later, when your hot chocolate mugs are emptied and you can’t make any excuses for staying here any longer, you head back to the car, San driving you both back to his place.

You’re not surprised when he parks his car in an underground parking lot - his building is kind of fancy after all. He manages to lock one of the elevators for your use too, and so you’re able to bring everything up at the same time, sweat beading on your forehead by the time you’re in his apartment, watching Byeol as she sniffs at one of the cushions curiously.

“Shit,” you let out, wiping your brow. “That was a work-out.”

San snorts. “That does not count as a work-out.”

You ignore him, adding, “I didn’t even have to go to the gym with you.

“That’s mean,” San whines with a pout on his lips, and you just tap his chest as you shrug off your coat, draping it on one of the dinner table chairs. 

“Sorry not sorry,” you sing-song, and you’re about to turn around to look at him when he wraps his arms around your waist.

“I’ll make sure you’re sorry later,” he purrs in your ear, and then he pushes your hair off to gain access to your neck. He kisses your skin once, teasing it with his teeth, and then he’s pulling away, slapping your ass. “Let’s get to work.”

Your mind is spinning as you glance at him, heart beating out of your chest. “What the fuck was that?”

He shrugs. “Guess you’ll find out later.”

You swallow, your dry throat almost making you choke.

Guess you will find out later, after all.

***** 

“Holy fucking shit,” San curses. “Are we dumb?”

You’re a laughing mess where you’re lying on the ground. “I told you you were supposed to put that there.”

San groans, plopping on the floor next to you. “Who knew making a desk was so complicated?”

You turn your head to look at him. “I don’t think it’s supposed to be complicated. I just think we’re bad at it.”

He snorts, nodding his head in agreement. Byeol trots towards him, climbing on his lap. He mindlessly pet her, the cat starting to purr almost immediately as she lies down on him.

“At least we finished the night stand.”

You’re currently in the walk-in closet, and you glance through the door towards the night table, and the plant resting on top of it. 

“And my little statues are perfect,” you declare with a tired smile.

“Just the perfect touch to the whole decor,” San agrees.

You nod, and then you shut your eyes, sighing deeply. “Maybe we just need to take a nap.”

“Nu-uh,” San lets out. “We have to finish before we go out tonight.”

“Go out?” You sit up, glancing down at yourself. “I’m definitely not dressed to go out tonight.”

Byeol suddenly slaps San’s hand, trotting away as if she never wanted to be petted to begin with. “I promise your clothes are perfectly okay for the place I’m bringing you.”

You hum, tilting your head to the side. “I’ll have to trust you on that.”

He nods with a smile, and you’re relieved you didn’t tell him that you know about the arcade. He looks so excited about it, and you’d hate to kill that sweet smile on his lips.

“Alright,” he says, slapping his thighs once. “Let’s do this.”

“Let’s go!”

To manage to finish the desk, you end up having to remove some pieces to fit the one San forgot. It doesn’t take too long, and about half an hour later, the desk is done, finally resting against the wall in the place San chose for it. 

“I’ll put the clothes in there some other time,” he says as he glances at the pile of neatly folded clothes under the ones that are hanging on the other wall. “I’m done for today.”

He gets up, offering you his hand to take so that he can pull you up. You gladly accept it, stumbling a little as his strength almost sends you flying into him. He steadies you with his hands on your shoulders, laughing at your expense, and then you’re following him to the living room, where you find Byeol now lying down on one of the cushions.

San sits next to her, spreading his thighs as he leans back against the couch. The sight strikes you dumb for a moment, and you just stand in the doorway to his bedroom, looking at him. He cocks an eyebrow, a smirk growing on his lips.

“Need help with something?”

It brings you out of the trance he’s seemingly put you into, and you walk over to him, sitting next to him. You grab the cushion next to you, holding it to your chest.

“So when are we leaving?” you ask.

He pulls out his phone from his pocket, glancing at it before tossing it on the couch. “We’ve got like two hours and a half to kill.” He wets his lips, turning his head towards you. “Want to watch a movie?” 

You nod in agreement, and San gets up to grab the TV remote under the TV. He comes back a second later, plopping down even closer to you, his thigh pressing against yours. You readjust yourself, leaning your back against the armrest as you put your legs on his lap.

He glances at you as the TV turns on, the Netflix logo appearing. “So I’m a footrest now?”

“Yup.”

He laughs, the dimple on his cheek attracting your eyes like a moth to the flame when he looks at the TV again. “Alright, I see how it is.”

You chuckle, and then you focus on the screen too, as you try to choose a movie. You both don’t find anything to your liking, so San switches to Disney plus, and your eyes widen when you see that the Deadpool and Wolverine movie is now streaming.

San senses your excitement, an endeared laugh falling from his lips, and then he turns it on, putting the remote down next to him before he shifts lying down with his head on your chest. 

You worry at your bottom lip as you try to hide the shy smile that appeared on your mouth, but San doesn’t even look your way, making himself comfortable on your chest while you wrap your arms around his neck.

“If I’m the footrest, then you’ll be the headrest,” he says once he finds a good position. 

You snort, patting his head. “It’s a perfect deal if I do say so myself.”

The movie starts, interrupting further conversation, and you find yourself glued to the action as it immediately lights up the screen, a snowy field reminding you of the Logan movie appearing.

You want to pat yourself on the shoulder when you realize that, as a matter of fact, it really is the field from the ending of the Logan movie.

The movie is fun, Deadpool’s quips and jokes making the both of you laugh. You’re distracted, fully focused on the scenes unfolding in front of your eyes, when San sits up, almost startling you.

“Where are you going?” you ask in a whine.

He laughs, getting up and then pecking your forehead. “Just going to the bathroom. Don’t wait for me.”

You don’t, watching Deadpool and Wolverine fighting against a horde of Deadpools, and San soon comes back, though this time he spreads your legs, making himself at home between them as he rests his head on your belly.

“That has to be uncomfortable,” you tell him as you look down at him to see how his neck is bent at a weird angle.

“Never have been so comfortable in my life,” he says, and he turns his head to the side to press a light kiss on your abdomen. 

Though you’re pretty sure that’s a lie, you don’t argue further, instead losing your hands in his hair as you watch the movie some more.

But San had something in mind. That much you can tell when his hand starts tracing lines on your thigh, going towards your inner thigh before moving back towards a less sensitive area. On and on he goes, hiking his fingers higher every time, but his position doesn’t allow him to reach what you assume is his destination.

“What are you doing?” you tell him when your thigh instinctively spasms from one of his motions tickling it.

“Just touching you,” he says casually. “Unless you want me to keep my hands to myself?”

He lifts his head, glancing at you. He’s got a mischievous sparkle in the depth of his gaze, and you slightly narrow your eyes, trying to interpret his features.

“So you don’t have anything in mind?” you ask, and you pull on his hair, just enough for his eyes to darken as he takes you in.

“Seems like someone else has something in mind, mmh?” he answers, and then he’s moving up, pressing his lips to yours.

As much as you were invested in the movie a minute ago, San steals your thoughts as he kisses you languidly, his knee between your legs. It brushes your pussy, and you let out a breathy sound, especially as he moves to your neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses on your sensitive skin.

You try to glance at the movie, but then he bites, and your eyes flutter shut as you softly moan.

“San,” you breathe out a second later.

He lifts his head, lips swollen from his ministrations on your neck. “Huh?”

“You’re distracting me.”

He chuckles, pecking your lips once. “Maybe that’s the goal, baby.”

Your throat dries out, your mouth falling open, but San is back on your neck. You can feel his smirk as he teases your skin with his teeth, and you instinctively turn your head to the side to allow him better access. He jumps on the occasion, kissing the spot where your jaw connects with your neck, and shivers run up and down your spine as you lose your hand in his hair.

It’s sinful. Something about the way San is kissing your neck, knee pressing against you, is so sinful that you start soaking your panties, eyes tightly shut now as you think about how his dick felt against you the other day.

It turns you on, far too much, and when San straightens to pull you down on the couch, you let him do it, pulling him back down by the collar of his shirt after so that you can kiss him with all the fire that’s starting to burn in your veins. He takes it in stride, kissing you with the same intensity, but he’s quick to disconnect your mouths so that he can go down your body instead.

You look down at him, chest going up and down quickly. Byeol has long disappeared somewhere, and you just hope she’s not going to come back anytime soon when San’s fingers stop on the button of your pants.

“Can I take this off?” he asks with such lust in his eyes you feel like the fire in you might be that of a star - an endless combustion that only leaves you burning for more.

“Yes.”

Your breathy answer brings a smirk to his mouth, and San wets his lips as he unbuttons your pants, pulling the zipper down after. He doesn’t look away as he starts pulling your pants down, and you lift your hips up to help him. 

Your heart is racing in your chest as the fabric slowly goes down your legs, getting caught in your ankles. San still manages to get the clothing off, and then it’s falling to the floor as he freezes where he’s kneeling, looking down at you with ravenous eyes.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asks as one of his fingers finds the inside of your ankle, and he slowly traces up your leg. “I could just sit here and look at you.” He reaches your knee, his gaze never leaving yours. “Could watch you looking at me like that-” your lower thigh “- Like I’m the only thing in the universe.” He stops at your inner thigh, tracing a circle. “But then I wouldn’t get to taste you, mmh?”

You gulp, nodding your head. It feels like you’re about to be devoured, and your pussy already tingles in anticipation.

“Do you want me to taste you?” he asks.

“Yes.”

He smirks, tilting his head to the side. “Good girl.”

And then he’s hooking his finger in your panties, brushing his knuckle against your clit. You moan at the sudden friction, yet it lasts for only a second as he holds your panties to the side. You’re already breathless, and you just look at him as he’s still staring at you.

“Something that you want?” he teases.

You want to curse at him, but all that you end up saying is, “Want your mouth on me.”

“Oh, you’ll get that.” It’s a promise. At least that’s what his dark gaze tells you, especially as he glances down at your pussy before looking at you again. “You’ll get plenty of that. But first…”

He trails off, words unnecessary when his finger goes back to your clit, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves. He then moves to your entrance, circling that too, collecting your wetness before he brings it back to your clit. He flicks at it, lightly, yet it’s like lightning bolts shooting up your spine. 

“San…”

“Mmh?” he lets out.

He stops touching you for a second, but then his thumb replaces his finger, feeling even better. You’re at a loss for words, and your hips just instinctively move up as if looking for more friction.

“Greedy, are we?” 

You want to hate him for the teasing, yet it just turns you on so much that you think he’ll make you come in no time. Especially as his thumb goes back down to your entrance, pushing in for half a heartbeat before he’s back on your clit.

He’s good. You were aware of that before, but San knows his way around your body already. He knows it so well he knows right when to accelerate and slow down, knows the right amount of pressure to put on your clit for it to not be too oversensitive. 

“Fuck.” The curse falls from his lips, and your eyes flutter open as the couch mattress moves under you from him shifting.

All you can see is his dark hair, and then his tongue replaces his thumb, and your back arches off the couch.

“Easy, baby,” he tells you, laying a large hand on your belly to push you back down. “Let me take care of you.”

You whine as he blows on your pussy, though the whine dies in a choked sound as he pushes a finger in you, slowly. Your walls spasm around him, yet it’s so slow you don’t come undone, only moan his name as he slowly pulls his digit out, only to push it in again at the same infuriating rhythm.

“More,” you beg in between two pants.

He chuckles, and then his tongue is on you once more, devouring you like you might be his last meal on Earth. It’s so insanely good that the room starts spinning around you, and you shut your eyes to focus on the sensations, to focus on the way he’s slowly guiding you towards what you know will be a mind blowing orgasm.

He curls his finger, brushes the nutty spot inside of you and your orgasm comes crashing towards you…

Only to entirely stop in its tracks when San suddenly pulls away, kneeling between your legs again. The denied orgasm hurts, and you look at him with betrayal in your heart. He just kneels there, his bottom lip between his teeth as he stares at you beneath his lashes, his head tilted to the side.

“Didn’t I say I’d make sure you’re sorry earlier?”

You’re out of breath, and it takes you a moment to remind the comment he’d said after you teased him about not needing to go to the gym. “You can’t be serious.”

The frustration in your voice makes him laugh. “So what if I am?”

He pats your thigh, and then sits back against the couch, hand going to his lap as he readjusts his erection in his pants. You just lay there for a moment, pussy bared to his gaze. 

But you won’t let him win. Indeed, you slip your hand between your legs, pressing your fingers on your swollen clit.

“Should I finish myself off, then?”

San freezes, and you watch a muscle feathering under his skin as he clenches his jaw once before relaxing. He looks at you, eyes going between your legs.

“Think you can make yourself come?”

To make a show of it, you start drawing circles on your clit, watching San as he watches you. It’s sinful, something you’ll likely be embarrassed about later, but you can’t bring yourself to care right now. Not when the orgasm is so close, and you already feel like you’re heading towards it again.

You see the moment San loses his restraint. His hand goes back to your pussy, and he’s quick to push a finger in as you keep your motions on your clit. The pleasurable intrusion is enough to send you flying towards your orgasm, especially as he starts pumping his finger in and out of you at a steady rhythm.

You don’t know when you come. All you know is that you’re suddenly riding the wave, your mind going numb with ecstasy as your climax hits, your walls spasming around his finger. San milks the orgasm out of you, guides you through it as your head swirls with your release.

Once you come down, San pulls his finger out of you, bringing it to his lips to clean it. You’re too fucked out to truly realize what he’s doing, up until he laughs at the TV, and you look towards it too.

The credits are rolling down the screen, and you can’t help the small chuckle that falls from your lips.

“Oops,” you let out.

“Completely missed the ending,” San comments. “We’ll have to rewind it and finish it later.”

You take a deep breath, trying to steady your beating heart. “Why not now?”

“I assume you want to take a shower?”

You look down at him and at the not-so hidden tent in his pants. “I want to take care of you.”

He wets his lips. “Tonight, baby. I don’t think we have time right now.” You pout and, to your surprise, San bends down, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “I promise we can start where we ended tonight, m’kay?” He pecks your nose next, and then he straightens, offering you his hand to take. “Let’s get you cleaned up and then let’s head to the restaurant.”

You already can’t wait to be home from the arcade later tonight.

*****

You don’t think you’ve eaten this much in months.

You sit back against your seat, patting your belly. San, sitting next to you, glances at you with a laugh on his lips, and you groan.

“I think I ate too much,” you say.

“It’s because Syd kept putting everything on your plate,” Yunho comments, sending a short glare to your best friend.

Short, because it melts to an endeared look the second she glances his way. “Yah, I was fair to everyone. You guys just ordered too much meat.”

“Gotta get the proteins in for the gains,” San jokes, flexing his arm.

You punch him in the shoulder. “Get lost, loser.”

“Hey!” San frowns, pouting his lips as he looks at you. You just grin while Sydney and Yunho laugh in the background, though you can tell that Sydney is holding back.

She’s not yet fully comfortable around San after all. Though she’d been last Saturday at the park, but you assume the alcohol helped her tremendously then. 

The conversation moves to other subjects, slowly drifting towards when you should head to the arcade, and you look at San’s profile, barely even hiding the fact that you’re admiring him. He senses your eyes on him, and he turns to meet your gaze, a soft smile growing on his lips.

It seems there was a lull in the conversation, because Yunho and Sydney start on another subject, leaving you and San to just share a look. 

There’s electricity in his gaze. Current that flows right to your bloodstream, making your heart beat faster. You can’t help the smile that overtakes your features and, unable to resist, you say, “I can’t wait to beat your ass at the arcade.”

“As if you stand a chance,” he teases back, but then he’s pouting. “I can’t believe Syd spoiled the surprise.”

You grab his hand, squeezing it once to chase the pout away from his features. “Don’t worry about it, I’m still really excited. It’ll be really fun.”

He nods once, leaning forward to press a kiss on your temple. Your chest warms, blood creeping to your cheeks as you feel your brother looking your way. 

“I’ll get the bill and we can split later,” Yunho says, interrupting the sweet moment with San. 

There’s a knowing smirk on your brother’s lips, like he’s proud of himself for ruining the moment, and your eyes send daggers his way as he raises a hand, meeting your waiter’s gaze.

After the bill is finally paid, you all head to the arcade, which coincidentally is right next door. You walk in to the sound of some old K-pop music playing in the background, a song you think might be from Big Bang blasting on the speakers. Mixed with the music are the distinct sounds of the many games that can be found at the arcade, like the racing games and the shooting ones. You think you might even spy a punching bag in the distance, but a crowd is huddled around it, and it’s hard to tell.

You head to the counter first, all of you investing twenty dollars in coins for the games, telling yourselves that you can always come back later if you want more. Excitement bubbles in your stomach, and you make your way to the first game, some zombie shooting game that leaves the group of you laughing and struggling to catch breath from your shared lack of aim. Yunho ends up being the one with the highest score, and his winning streak persists through the next three games, but you and San manage to beat Sydney and Yunho at the basketball game.

“Let’s do this one again!” you excitedly say, jumping in place as you point at the basketball game.

“No thanks,” Yunho drawls. “I think I’d rather do some racing games.” He looks at Sydney pleadingly, and then he grabs her hand. “Please come with me?”

She’s beaming under his attention - you doubt he needed to plead at all. “Yeah, let’s go beat your ass.”

His mouth falls open and then they burst laughing. You watch them as they walk away, a smile on your lips, and then you look at San to find him looking at you already.

“What?” you ask.

“You’re adorable.”

You blush. “Stop saying that.”

“No but…” he trails off. “You just look so happy for them, and I think it’s adorable.”

You purse your lips, scrunching your nose up. “I am really happy for them.”

San grabs your hand, pressing a kiss on your forehead. “I know.” He pulls away, unaware that he’s got your heart racing in your chest, and then he points towards the basketball game. “Let’s do this.”

You take a deep breath to tame the wild beats of your heart, and then you face the game again. “Should we play against each other?”

“Oh hell yeah,” San says, the challenge barely hidden from his words. “Get ready to have your ass handed to you.”

“Won’t happen.”

You both start the game at the same time, and you start shooting time and time again, barely ever stopping. The ball almost always falls through the hoop, and you laugh as you notice San missing three shots in a row.

“Yeah, it really won’t happen.”

“Yah, I've barely started,” San argues, and this time he starts to score again. He’s shooting faster than you - you might have been momentarily distracted by his arm as he throws the ball - and you blink out of your reverie, locking in on the game.

You end up losing to San by only a couple of points, and you fold your arms on your chest as he looks at you with a smug smile. You glare at him, waiting for him to tease you, but he just looks at you, the smile slowly turning endeared.

“Are you sad you lost?” he coos in a baby voice, and your mouth falls open in offense.

“Shut up!”

“Poor you,” he says, reaching for your cheeks as he tries to squeeze time. 

You shriek, swatting his hand away. “Stand back!”

“Or what?” he teases, taking a step towards you.

You take one back, looking at him through narrowed eyes. “Or I’ll make you regret it later.”

It’s an echo of the same words he’s told to you before, and San just chuckles, his eyes darkening even though the neon lights of the arcade reflect in his gaze. 

“Oh will you, now?” he purrs as he takes another step closer, and this time you don’t move back.

Though San is not extremely tall, he still towers over you, and you have to tilt your head back to keep the eye contact. 

“Yeah.”

San just chuckles manly before suddenly pinching your cheek. You yelp, jumping back before you punch him in the shoulder, a curse on your lips. He just laughs at your expense, and then wraps his arms around your waist. You fight against his hold, though it soon dawns on you that you won’t win against him.

Not when it comes to strength. So you change tactics, your hands aiming for his sides, and you tickle him. The sound he lets out is all worth it, and you burst out laughing as he looks at you in betrayal before joining your laughter.

You love moments like these with him. Where you feel like the rest of the world fades in the background, and there’s just you and him. You’ve never really experienced that with anyone before - maybe with Jungkook, during the short-lived honeymoon period you’d had before it had become… what it had become.

The thought showers you in cold water, and you find yourself unable to focus as San leads you to the next game, and the one after that. You run out of coins to play soon after, and San offers to get you more. You just shrug your shoulders, pulling at some dry skin on your bottom lip while San looks at you, his features slowly filling with concern.

“Are you okay?” he asks as he grabs your hand, his thumb drawing soothing circles on the back of your hand.

“I…” You take a deep breath. “Yes, sorry. I got distracted.”

His lips stretch in a tight line before he nods, pulling you closer. “Do you want to go home?”

The disappointment in his tone brings you back to the current moment. To the fact that you’re likely ruining something he was proud to have organized, and you beat yourself up mentally.

“Shit, no,” you say. “We haven’t even played the claw machine yet.”

Though you don’t sound fully convincing, San gives you the benefit of the doubt, pecking your forehead softly before he says, “Let me get some coins for that and then I’ll win you the cutest plushie.”

He’s sweet. Adorable, caring, and oh so healing. Jungkook fades out of your mind at the soft smile on San’s lips, and you can’t resist his gravity. You pull him in, tiptoeing so that you can kiss him. And though it’s featherlight, barely more than a peck, it brings you back your excitement for the evening.

San really is healing, in all ways that matter.

Once he gets the coins, San comes back to you, grabbing your hand to pull you towards the claw machines. The bright lights catch your gaze as you walk in the two alleys, unable to choose which one you want to do first. San just lets you look around, a soft smile on his mouth as you excitedly point to a couple of them.

“These are so cute,” you say, pointing to the plushies in one of the claw machines. They’re all food inspired, ranging from pizzas to broccolis and even something you think is a milk shake.

“Do you want me to get you something from that one, then?” San asks.

You shake your head, pulling him behind you as you continue making your way to the next machine.

That one reveals many different animals, but it’s the cat that catches your gaze - it’s black, with huge, green eyes, and you point at it with a grin on your lips.

“Oh my God! Look at this one!”

San chuckles. “The cat?”

“It could be Byeol’s sibling!”

“Careful, she’ll get jealous.”

You narrow your gaze, letting go of San’s hand to fold your arms on your chest. “I want that one.”

“What’s the pout for?” he teases, laughing. “You look like a five year old.”

You slap his shoulder, rolling your gaze as you head closer to the claw machine. “How does this thing work?”

San stops behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he puts his head down on your shoulder. You feel your cheeks turning red, yet you don’t tell him to move - not when his embrace is so goddamn warm.

“Just gotta put the coins in,” San says. “Do you want to try first?”

“Mmh, I’ve never done this before,” you admit.

San puts a coin in the machine, and lively music starts playing as the claw moves to the top. “So,” he lets out. “You grab this, position it where you want it to be, and then you press on the button. The claw will go down and catch whatever you want.”

“Easy,” you say, though you wince. “I kind of knew that part though.”

He steps next to you, frowning slightly. “You said you’ve never done it.”

“It’s pretty self-explanatory, though,” you point out, chuckling as he sighs, looking away, his lips jutting out in a pout.

“Alright then, do it yourself.”

You laugh, pinching his side in a swift motion. He yelps, almost jumping in place, and then he’s attacking you, hands on your side as you shriek. You know you’re getting looks from the people around you, though you can’t bring yourself to care.

He’s far too healing to care about other people’s opinion.

“I yield, I yield,” you say a moment later, when it becomes clear that you have no chance to win against him.

He laughs, pecking your forehead as he lets go of you. “Now, let’s get that plushie.”

You nod once, taking a deep breath to calm your racing heart, and then you face the machine, rubbing your hands together.

“Let’s do this.”

*****

As a matter of fact, you don’t do this at all. You run out of coins as you both try and try to get the black cat - San manages to make it move once, but without any luck, and disappointment hits you when you realize that you don’t have another chance.

“Why is it so hard?” you whine.

San sighs, leaning against the machine. “This thing hates us.”

“I just wanted a cute plushie.”

“You’ll get it,” San says, pushing up from the machine. He stands straight looking down at you with a serious expression. “I’ll get it for you, just bear with me.”

“San, don’t-” 

But he’s already walking away, heading to the reception area. You just stand there, watching him as he buys more coins, and then he’s walking back towards you, a determined look on his face. 

“You didn’t need to get more,” you tell him as he stops next to you. 

He shrugs his shoulders. “I promised I’d get you something tonight. I’m not going to give up that easily.”

You purse your lips, taking a deep breath. “Thank you.”

His eyes widen. “I haven’t even gotten it yet.”

“No, I know.” You pause, wetting your lips as you search for the right words to say. “I just never really had anyone willing to do something like this for me. Means a lot.”

San remains silent for a moment, looking at you with a sad look on his face. You have to remind yourself that he doesn’t know about Jungkook, doesn’t know about what your ex put you through…

You have to remind yourself that he can’t know, too.

“Then I really have to get it for you.”

You’re falling in love. Free falling, even.

Will he catch you when the time comes?

It takes San a few tries, and he’s on the fifth when he finally manages to get a hold of the plushie. You hold your breath as the claw moves up, and then towards the zone where it lets go the cat. It falls much like you are, only to end up in the right spot. San yells in victory, and he grabs the plushie, handing it to you.

“I told you I’d do it!”

He’s grinning from ear to ear, his dimples bright on his cheeks and fuck, you really are in love.

How is it that you fell in love with him so quickly?

You take the cat from his hands, holding it to your chest. You smile at San, thanking him profusely, and he just laughs, shaking his head as if he didn’t spend forty dollars just to get you a plush toy. 

“Don’t worry about the money,” San says, tugging on your hand to pull you towards Sydney and Yunho in the distance. “I just really wanted to make you happy, and there is no price to that.”

“You’re so cheesy,” you say, though the smile on your lips is enough to tell him that you love it.

“For you?” He winks at you. “Yes. You could even say I’m a simp.”

The comment makes you laugh, and you just giggle as he keeps pulling you towards your brother and your best friend, who just look at you curiously, probably wondering how in hell did San manage to break through your walls so quickly. 

It does scare you, too, but then again there’s just something about him…

“Are you guys ready to leave?” San asks as you stop next to the pair.

Yunho glances at Sydney. “What do you think?”

“I’m kinda tired,” she says. “But we don’t want to force you guys to go too.”

“Nah, I think we did everything we wanted,” you say. “Unless you wanted to do something else?”

San glances at you, his eyes falling to the plushie you’re clinging to. “Nah, all good. I already spent way too much for that plushie.”

“I told you not to spend so much!”

“But you wanted it!”

Yunho and Sydney just watch the two of you as you bicker, stifling their laughs. You notice their heavy gazes on your profile, so you turn your head, looking at them. “What?”

“Are you guys like twenty years married or something?” Yunho says.

Sydney elbows him in the ribs. “Shut up.”

“No but…”

“Shut up,” she repeats, and it’s your turn to laugh at their expense.

“As if you guys are any better,” you tease them.

Yunho just smiles proudly while Sydney's cheeks dust with pink. 

The conversation dies for a few seconds until San finally speaks again, breaking the slight awkwardness as he asks if everyone is ready to go. You all agree, and so you make your way outside, and then to San’s car.

Because of course he drove Yunho and Sydney. His excuse was that you needed to get your stuff to be able to sleep over at his tonight, and you hadn’t argued, not when the invitation made you far happier than you’d dare admit it.

Though you’re pretty sure San noticed, but at least he didn’t tease you for it.

San’s car is parked somewhat far from the restaurant and the arcade, so you end up walking in the soft drizzle, trying to hide your face in the lapels of your jacket. It doesn’t quite work, and you’re freezing by the time you sit in the passenger seat while Yunho and Sydney slide into the backseat.

San is last to climb into the car, and he immediately puts the keys in the ignition, blasting the heat as soon as the engine rumbles to life.

“Why is it so cold so early in the year?” you complain as you rub your hands together. “It feels like we’re in November.”

“If we’re lucky, we’ll get some warmer weather like last week again,” Sydney says from the backseat. 

“I’ve heard that it’s supposed to be cold this year.” It’s Yunho speaking, and you glance his way. 

“Please don’t say that.”

“Good thing you’ve got someone to keep you warm now.”

The words out of your brother’s mouth make you cringe, and you flash him your middle finger while San just laughs beside you. And then San puts his hand on your thigh, distracting you from your brother, and you sit back in your seat, looking at the street as San pulls out of the parking lot, heading towards your apartment.

The drive isn’t too long. Twenty minutes later, San’s dropping your brother and Sydney off and, since you got your stuff already earlier, you wave them goodbye from the car, looking at them jogging to the front door. Once they’re in, San drives away again, and you glance at him.

The orange light of the streetlights casts shadows on his face, and he meets your gaze for a few seconds, his lips curving upwards in the softest of smiles.

“Hey,” he lets out.

You lean your head against the seat, the same smile making its way to your mouth. “Hey.”

He grabs your hand, pulling it to his mouth so that he can press a gentle peck on your knuckles. Butterflies take flight in your chest, and you welcome the feeling in, ignoring the thought of Jungkook that suddenly flashes in your mind.

You don’t want to be thinking about Jungkook. Not ever again, not after everything he did to you.

Everything you did to him, too.

Jungkook was sweet to you too, once. You’d thought he was the love of your life… but life had other plans for the two of you, didn’t it?

“What are you thinking of?” San asks, interrupting your train of thoughts, stopping it before it goes further.

You freeze, and then you look outside the window, watching the city as it passes by. “Nothing,” you lie. You take a deep breath, and then you look at him again. “Thank you for tonight. I really had fun.”

His dimples appear for a short moment, and then he’s also focusing on the road once more. “Of course. I really wanted to do an activity, and when I talked to your brother yesterday at the bar, I figured you’d be happy if I invited him and Syd too.”

“I really was,” you say, happy that your change of subject worked so well. “But I’m also happy we ended up spending some time just the two of us too, you know?”

He brings your hand to his lips again for another soft kiss. “I know. Me too.”

You smile at him, though this time the ghost of Jungkook doesn’t quite leave your mind. It lingers around, haunting you, rendering you far more silent than you usually are, and you don’t speak for the rest of the ride to San’s place, following him in once you get there.

You think San knows you have something on your mind. Maybe because you’ve spent a lot of time together in the last few weeks, and it’s bound to have made him learn how to recognize your emotions to a certain extent. But he doesn’t say anything, gives you the space to decide if you want to talk or not. You appreciate it - you don’t think you’d be able to talk to him about Jungkook. It would make everything that happened way too… real.

“Byeol,” San sing-songs when he opens the door to his apartment, and his cat comes trotting your way.

You only remember you still have the cat plush toy in your hands when Byeol stops a couple of steps away, her back arching. 

“Look, we brought you a new friend,” you tell her, bending down to show her the plush toy.

She takes a hesitant step towards you, extending her neck in your direction so that she can sniff the toy. When she realizes it’s no threat, she moves away, rubbing herself on San’s legs.

“Well, I guess she doesn’t give a fuck,” San deadpans.

You laugh as he bends down, picking Byeol up and pressing a kiss on the top of her head. She tries to dodge, which obviously makes you laugh again, especially as she jumps out of his arms a second later to trot away.

“She clearly doesn’t,” you agree.

You take your jacket off, kicking your shoes off and putting the slippers San keeps for you on before walking in and plopping on the couch. San stops by the bathroom first, meeting you a minute later as you’re looking at the cat plushie, pulling on its extravagantly long tail.

“I didn’t notice,” you start as he plops down next to you, “but the tail is long.”

San nods, letting out a small laugh. “It kinda looks ridiculous.”

“Hey, don’t insult it!”

That just makes San laugh harder, and you roll your eyes, though an amused smile lingers at the corners of your mouth.

“What do you want to call it?”

You ponder for a time, and then you grab the tail again, raising it in the space between you and San. “Mr Snake.”

San’s gaze widens and he snorts. “Mr Snake?” You nod. “It’s a cat.”

“Don’t care didn’t ask,” you sing-song, and then you hug the plushie to your chest, sighing deeply. “I love you, Mr Snake.”

San rolls his eyes teasingly, but then he leans his head on your shoulder as he chuckles. “I guess it’ll be Mr Snake, then.”

You nod, and then you hand him the plushie. “It’s the perfect name.”

There’s a moment of calm silence as San grabs Mr Snake, cuddling it to his chest. It looks ridiculous in his big arms, softening his edges, and you can’t help the endeared smile on your lips. 

It just becomes wider when San looks up at you, eyes sparkling. He’s beautiful like this, especially as he leans in, pecking your lips.

“I’ve been dying to kiss you all night,” he murmurs.

So have you. And you don’t think the words are necessary - actions speak a lot louder, so you kiss him, eyes fluttering shut. It’s awkward with the position, and San moves a moment later, straightening so that he can deepen the kiss. His hand finds the nape of your neck, holding you close as you tilt your head to the side. His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, prompting fireworks to burst in your heart, and you climb on San’s laps, cupping his cheeks.

The kiss is languid. The kiss is starting right where you’d finished earlier today, and you already feel warmth blooming in your core. San’s hands hold your waist, and then move down to your hips as he guides you on him. He grinds up at the same time, and his hardening length brushes against you. 

You let out a soft moan, disconnecting from the kiss so that you can lean your forehead against his as you grind your hips again.

“Gosh, San,” you murmur, and he presses his mouth on yours once more, his tongue finding yours. 

The taste of him makes you feel feral, the lust from before becoming so strong you can taste it in your throat.

There’s no turning back tonight.

“I want to go all the way with you tonight,” San whispers when he parts from your lips. One of his large hands finds the back of your head, and he pulls on your hair just enough to turn your head to the side, and then his lips are ghosting on the skin of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. You feel his mouth moving when he adds, “I want to know what it feels like to be in you.” He sucks on your neck, and you grind on him. “I want to hear you moan while I fuck you.”

“San…”

“I want my neighbours to know just how fucking good I’ll make you feel, mmh?”

He’s insane. And you love everything about it.

“Yeah?” you let out, and it’s your turn to pull on his hair as you force his head away from your neck and against the couch. “You’d like that?”

He wets his lips, smirking darkly. “I’d fucking love it.”

You bite at your lower lip, looking down at his glistening mouth. It’s sinful, his lips swollen from your ministrations, and you know it’s just the beginning.

“Wanna do it here, or in your bedroom?” you ask.

San straightens, and then his arm wraps around your waist as he gets up from the couch. You yelp, instinctively holding onto his neck, and San chuckles as he carries you to the bedroom, dropping you on his bed.

“Want you to be comfortable while I make you come,” he says as he rests one knee on the bed between your spread legs, his mouth aiming for yours for a short yet languid kiss. He pulls away a second later to take off his shirt, standing up so that he can unbuckle his belt.

It thuds as it hits the ground, and you just watch him through half-lidded eyes as he takes off his pants, too. Soon, he’s standing in just his black boxers, eyeing you like you’re his prey, and you sit up on the bed, hand reaching for him.

You rub his dick, stopping at his tip as you feel the precum that’s been seeping through the fabric of his boxers. He just lets you do it, looking down at you as you move back down on his length, and then back to the tip.

“You’re already so hard,” you praise.

“Do you know how many times I’ve imagined having sex with you?” he asks, and then he’s pushing your hand away. He pulls his boxers down, hand wrapping around his dick as he slowly strokes himself. “Every time I touch myself, you’re all I’m thinking about.”

It’s dirty. You think any other guy saying that would have creeped you out, but from San, it just makes the warmth in your core ignite into fire, and all you want is to ride his dick, to know how he’ll feel like inside of you.

“You know,” you let out, moving forward so that you can sit on the edge of the bed. “I always think of you when I touch myself, too.” Your hand replaces his at the base of his dick, and you squeeze him once. 

“You do?” he asks, and you think you hear him gulp when you lean forward, your tongue swirling around his tip once.

His precum is salty, and it tastes like you’ll be drunk on him by the end of the night.

“Yeah,” you say, blowing a breath on his sensitive tip as you slowly jerk him off. “I’ve been thinking about your dick.” Your mouth closes around him, and you suck once. “Been thinking about riding you until I come.”

He grunts. “Baby, you should know that I’d rather do the work.” He pushes your hair to the side, holding it into a makeshift ponytail. “I want my princess to relax while I take care of her.”

“Your princess?” you repeat, your heart beating just a little faster even though you’ve never been big on pet names before.

“Or do you prefer I call you my little slut?”

You squeeze your thighs together as if looking for friction. “Then what would that make you?”

He leans down, stealing a quick kiss on your lips before he straightens again. “I’ll be anything you want me to be.”

Your heart stops in your chest, filling with so much warmth for him. Because you know he means much more than just sex. He means everything, and you don’t think you’ll ever be able to let go of him.

Will he break your heart like Jungkook did?

“San…”

“I…” he trails off as if he choked on the word. He says your name, and then adds, “I really want you.”

You’re convinced he wanted to say other words, yet you take those, your attention going back to his dick, and the angry, swollen tip that’s just been begging for attention. You move forward, lick at his slit to get another taste of him, and then you wrap your lips around him, hollowing your cheeks.

San groans, and you glance up to see he’s tilted his head back, revealing the proud column of his neck to you, and the Adam’s apple that adorns it. It looks hot, so hot to know that you’re the one making him feel good, and it unleashes you.

It’s sloppy. You’re drooling all over his dick as you go back and forth, sucking when you reach the top and jerking him off as you go. San’s hands remain in your hair, yet he lets you establish the rhythm, letting you take control.

You know it won’t last long. You know he’ll snap eventually, fucking your mouth or fucking you, and you long for it.

Long for the moment he’ll fuck into you for the first time.

You moan on his dick at the thought, your pussy clenching around nothing. You’ve soaked your panties, and you think you might even be soaking through your pants as you just keep sucking San off.

You try to maintain a steady rhythm, but you soon start trying to take more of him in your mouth each time, letting him hit the back of your throat as you hold the gag reflex in. San is a mess over you, and a moment later, he’s moving, slowly thrusting between your lips. You slow down, allowing him to use your mouth like he wants to, but it doesn’t last too long.

San pulls out of your mouth, your drool covering him sinfully, and he looks down at you, panting.

“Why don’t you take your shirt off?”

He doesn’t have to ask twice. You take the shirt off, eyes glued to his as it reveals your skin. You keep going, taking off your bra, and you can tell he’s fighting to maintain eye contact as your nipples meet air, perking from the cold.

Though you’d argue that the atmosphere between you and Choi San is fiery right now, and it doesn’t take more than a heartbeat for your body to flush with warmth again.

“Move back on the bed,” he orders next, though his tone is soft, gentle. 

It takes you by surprise, but the lust in his gaze is unmistakable, even if softness swirls within it. 

He’s looking at you like he’ll never look at anyone else again, and it makes your heart soar in your chest.

You move back, stopping when San reaches for your pants. He unbuttons them, sliding them down your legs along with your panties. He takes his time with it, leaving a trail of featherlight kisses down your leg, and then he’s letting your clothes fall on the floor.

You’re fully naked, and so is he, and your heartbeat goes wild at the perspective of what’s to come. 

San climbs over you, kissing you once as he rests his weight on one of his arms. And then he’s plopping on the bed next to you, his hand finding its way between your thighs. Your legs close at the sudden contact, and he tuts, spreading them wide open again.

“Gotta get you ready before you can take me, baby,” he whispers, kissing your jaw. He even nibbles on it, and you let out a soft moan as he trails a finger between your nether lips.

You wonder, how is it that a single touch of his can feel so good?

San circles your clit with his digit, and then presses on the sensitive bundle of nerves. Your eyes flutter shut as you take the sensation in, the friction on you much needed. You blindly reach for his dick, sighing in contentment when you manage to wrap your hand around him, and you start jerking him off, though your hand stills as his finger goes back to your hole, slowly pushing in.

Your walls clench as you moan, and San just whispers sweet nothings in your ear as he pushes his finger all the way in before pulling it almost all the way out. He goes back in, curling his finger to find the nutty spot inside of you, and pleasure shoots through you as he rubs on the sensitive spot. 

“Fuck,” you breathe out.

San echoes your curse with a groan as you start moving your hand on his dick again. Though it might be a little awkward from the position, you assume he likes it as he peppers soft kisses on the side of your face and on the corner of your lips.

“You’ll feel so good on my dick,” he whispers.

It doesn’t sound as horny as the words appear to be - it’s more of a plea, and you turn your head to the side to kiss him again. He sighs in your mouth, and your tongues are dancing together by the time he eases a second finger inside of you. It feels heavenly, and you moan, letting him swallow it. He deepens the kiss as he moves his fingers, increasing the rhythm until he’s fucking you with the digits, squelching sounds filling his room.

You think you might come. It feels so good you reckon there’s a high chance you will, a knot already starting to form in your lower stomach. But then, right as he’s fighting against your tightening walls, San pulls out. You whine from the loss of contact, but he’s already moving to his bedside table, pulling the drawer open. He fumbles with a box, grabbing a condom while you just watch him.

“I want you to come on my dick,” he offers as an explanation, his words low and husky.

You will - you’ll likely come the second he pushes into you, and the thought makes you press your thighs together.

San tears the foil package open, rolling the condom down his dick. He gives it a few strokes as if to make sure it’s well placed, and then he’s moving back towards you. He sees your legs pressed together, tutting, and then he’s climbing on top of you, spreading your legs with his knee.

“You ready to take me?” he asks as he kneels back between your thighs. 

You look down at him, taking in the sheer size of his dick and, even though you’ve seen him before, it feels like the first time all over again. “You’re so big,” you say through the lust clouding your mind.

“Don’t worry,” he purrs, tapping his dick on your clit. “We’ll make it fit.”

And then he’s rubbing his tip between your folds, collecting your juices. You moan at the sensation, your legs opening wider as if that will make him slip in. But San is patient - he might even be some sort of a brat. Because he moves away from your entrance, his tip returning to your clit.

You whine, your hips lifting from the bed as you try to take him in. San just moves his dick away from you, regarding you darkly as he waits for you to fall back on the bed.

“Be patient, princess, I’ll fuck you in just a moment.” He taps your clit. “Just making sure you’re ready.”

“I am,” you let out, voice breathy.

He chuckles, and then he’s bending down, his tongue flicking on your nipple. The sudden touch makes you arch your back as you push your breast in his mouth, and San sucks on your nipple, his tongue circling it. His teeth tease your skin lightly, and you moan as your legs wrap around his waist. It makes him rub between your nether lips, yet he’s still not where you need him to be.

“Alright, alright,” San says as he pulls away from your nipple, lips glistening. “I’ll take it you’re ready.”

You nod as he leans on one of his elbows so he can reach for his dick again. You look down at the spot where your bodies are touching while he aligns himself with your entrance, your pussy already clenching just at the thought of what will happen in just a few heartbeats.

“Look at me,” San whispers, and the lust is gone.

You’d say only affection is left, but you don’t want to be delusional, not when it’s only been a few weeks.

San slowly pushes in, fighting against your walls for a second before they relax and let his tip in. Even then he stretches you wide open, the burn deliciously good, and you frown in pleasure. He’s biting his lower lip, like he’s trying to keep a moan in, and his eyebrows almost touch over his eyes as he keeps pushing in.

Inch after inch, San spears you with his dick, and it feels like a small eternity until he’s all the way in. Only then does he let out a small moan that alters your brain chemistry, making you crave for him as if he’s not already in you.

“Holy fuck,” he curses and that, too, alters your brain chemistry.

“San…”

“Fuck.”

He leans his forehead against yours, and your eyelids flutter shut from the proximity. He doesn’t move yet, letting you adjust to his size, making sure he won’t hurt you. Or at least that’s what you think he’s doing, and you wrap your arms around his neck to hold him close.

San moves his head slightly to capture your lips in a kiss, and he kisses you sweetly, gently, like maybe the world has stopped turning for the two of you tonight. You feel it deep in your chest - it lights up your heart like fireworks in the dead of night, and you kiss him back with all the might of the feelings in your chest. 

You’ve never felt like this. Like you were missing a piece of yourself, yet here with Choi San, you think you’ve been incomplete your whole life. It’s a powerful feeling, a scary one, but it doesn’t feel so scary when he’s kissing you like this, telling you that he feels the same, too.

As his tongue teases your bottom lip, San slowly starts pulling out, only to thrust in again a moment later, harder this time. The friction on your walls turns the fireworks to the brightest stars, and you abandon yourself to the feeling as he starts moving, establishing a steady rhythm. 

He’s being careful. You know he’s being careful, but you want more, need more, and so you graze his back with your nails, trying to entice him in moving faster, harder. He doesn’t take the cue, and so you suck on his tongue the next time it meets yours, and San groans in your mouth before pulling away.

“You feel so, so fucking good,” he praises, and then he looks down at his dick while he’s fucking you. “You take me so well.”

The words send you on a freefall towards an orgasm, and San senses it, your walls tightening around him. So he kneels back, pulling your legs on his shoulders, and then he starts fucking you rougher, his headboard banging into the wall.

You have half a thought to tell him to put a pillow behind it, but then his fingers are on your clit, his other hand finding your breast, and pleasure steals every thought from your brain until there’s only him left.

Though you think there’s only been him for a while now.

“What a pretty little slut,” San grunts. “What a good fucking pussy.”

You reckon he probably doesn’t realize that he’s talking. Indeed, his eyes are shut like he’s lost in the sensations, and a bead of sweat is rolling down his temple. Some of his hair is stuck to his forehead, and his teeth are digging in his lower lip as he increases the rhythm even more.

That’s when you hit the ground of your orgasm, exploding like those fireworks in your chest. It’s blinding white, and you scream out his name or something that was supposed to be his name, though you choke on the sound as the pleasure ripples through you. You feel weightless, like maybe you’ve reached nirvana, and your hands are clutching the covers of his bed as if that might keep you tethered to the ground.

But you’re gone, swimming in bliss as your walls flutter on San’s dick, clutching him hard enough for him to lose it too. While you’re still riding the wave of your orgasm, San reaches his climax, and he curses loudly as he pushes all the way in, releasing his load into the condom. He then bends down to kiss you through his high, and you kiss him back languidly, too fucked out to even think about breathing.

You’ve never come so hard before. No man - or yourself - has ever made you feel that way, and you don’t think you’ll recover.

You reckon you might have lost your sanity for good. You don’t care - San is worth losing your sanity for.

“I think I…” San trails off, against your lips, but then you silence him with another kiss that sends your heart into orbit, with him at the center. Like you’ll forever orbit him now, like he’s become the center of your universe.

You don’t know when the high recedes. You only realize San has gone soft when he lets himself fall on the bed next to you, his arm wrapping around your waist to hold you close. He hides his face in your neck, and you just lay there for a time, your breathing slowly going back to normal. 

It takes a long time for you to feel slightly normal again and even then, your mind is still swirling in bliss by the time you turn your head, letting out a small, “Wow.”

San laughs, a cute, soft sound that wraps around your soul, and you echo the laugh with a giggle of your own.

“That was amazing,” San says, and you reckon ‘amazing’ is not even strong enough of a word to describe what just happened between the two of you.

“It was,” you agree.

There’s a short silence, and then San adds, “I’m sorry I came so fast.”

You frown. “Fast?”

“I don’t know, I just couldn’t help myself,” he sheepishly continues. “It felt too good.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that.” You chuckle. “It was some good fucking sex.”

San laughs again, his arm tightening around you as he presses a gentle kiss on your shoulder. “I think I’ll want to fuck you again in the morning. And maybe in the afternoon, too.”

“You’ve got some plans for us, Choi San,” you tease.

He pecks your shoulder again, and you can feel his smile against your skin. “Oh, trust me. I really do.”

Prev | Next

☆☆☆☆☆

yeah they're simps and i love them for it hehe hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! let me know what you think!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2025. Do not copy, repost or translate.

[666thtoolofhell]

That Kingdon slow burn is coming 😭😭😭 all I think it’ll take for Patrick and Taylor to get on board is Langdon separating or divorcing cause wdym Taylor says she thinks Mel will probably be one of the only people not judging him 😭

I just listened to the whole interview and here are some bits that weren't transcribed to the written version:

The reaching up and tapping of the door header on their way to STEMI wasn't in the script - it was all Patrick and Taylor. Patrick would always do it and Taylor thought it was funny and "boy-ish" and copied him to tease him. She didn't even think they'd keep it in the actual episode.

Apparently all the staff will be behaving as if nothing out of the ordinary happened and one of them isn't suddenly not there anymore, just going about things as normal without even touching the subject and sidestepping the Langdon-shaped hole in the room, and Mel will be surprised at not seeing him and then very confused about the whole thing. (Until the reason why is eventually explained to her, I assume. Since she won't be judging him upon his return she'll have to be in the know regarding the basics by then, no?)

Mel will be genuinely excited when Langdon comes back next season, very much like she was when she saw him again after he'd been - unbeknownst to her - fired and away from the ED for a short while. (Imagine if the joy and enthusiasm were to be proportional? If she was that elated after he'd been gone for an hour, how would she react after ten months? Fic writers, you know what to do.)

That man needs to be at the very least separated and in talks of divorce if not already signing those papers by July 4th. We won't survive the slowly burning colleagues to friends to lovers wrapped in soulmatism these two are bringing to the table. [wishful thinking]

I have no real expectations except for the powers that be to continue to focus - as much as possible with the time allotted to them as characters and as a duo - on their wonderful bond and dynamic, still partnering them up for cases as well as for breaks and significant downtime moments, letting their wholesome relationship progress further, growing and flourishing as naturally as it did during the first season.

Since Langdon is going to return fully believing he's failed her and that he's no longer deserving of her trust I foresee Mel disabusing him of that silly notion so thoroughly and so fast he won't know what hit him. Mel treating him the same, without disappointment or betrayal or pity in her eyes, still wanting to work closely with and learn from him? Being supportive and there if and when he needs someone? Just being unapologetically herself in all the ways that immediately drew him to her in the first place? That is going to be a huge help and relief for him, I think, and ease his reintegration into their workplace and team if only a little bit.

I'm hoping their friendship solidifies as something that isn't exclusive to the hospital and that we'll get a teeny tiny blink-and-you'll-miss-it hint that it'll extend into their personal lives. Something like Mel telling Langdon more about Becca and their parents; or him telling her about Abby, the dog, the kids. Sharing and commiserating. Getting to know each other better. Finding only acceptance and understanding. That'd be nice.

Baby steps.

[hkthatgffan]

"End" of the Kiki-Kit Saga (For me at least)

Okay, I've been waiting for a while to make this post and quite frankly, it's one I really didn't expect to make. But, having started this topic in October, I felt it was important to also end it even if it's not a great end overall.

You may remember back in October 2024 that I made this post regarding the artist Kiki-Kit. She's pretty well known in the Gravity Falls fandom and worked on Lost Legends. Long story short, she'd been ghosting me and many other people for months regarding commissions we had gotten from her in January of that year. That first post goes into detail about it all and has the specifics but basically, after finding out there were people waiting years for her to respond to them, I felt compelled to make that post to call her out and hopefully get more eyes on this issue as Kiki had seemed to be getting away with this behavior for a while. Well, good news (sorta), for me at least, it's now over...

Kiki-Kit Refunded me!

I'd love to be happy about it but quite frankly, to even get this was a pain in the ass. As I said in the first post, Kiki never responded to DMs or even the email she had set up for commissions. So, as a last resort, I contacted a friend of hers that she had mentioned back in January during her commissions request period. I won't name them as they never were involved in this, but I got in touch with them via Bluesky and asked if they could let Kiki know I was trying to reach her but can't. And low and behold, the very next day she actually FINALLY DM's me for the first time in over a year!

I should say, this happened back on February 9th of this year (it'll make sense in a sec why it took me so long to make this). On one hand, it was nice that she did finally DM me but I can't lie, it felt very suspicious and off to me that it literally had to take me contacting someone she knows about it. Someone who never was involved in this and had no reason to be and that in turn was what finally got her to respond to me.

Kiki did explain herself and without sharing her PM, I will say I fully understand her position. As she stated back in June 2024, she's going through a pretty rough time and even her reasoning for doing these commissions were for financial reasons I am sympathetic to her for. I wanna make clear again, this was never a case of "artist is taking too long on my art and I am impatient!" I get it. Everyone like me in this situation gets it! Artists are humans like you and me and things can happen and they have every right to take breaks, be offline, etc.

But where the problem was, was that Kiki-Kit NEVER responded to any update request going back months. I tried every appropriate channel of communication I could to no avail. I'm understanding, but I also am a paying client and if nothing else, a simple update would suffice. She never gave me even that until now and the way I had to get it out of her was beyond what someone should have to do to get that.

She did admit to me she is aware of this problem of hers of not communicating properly and seeming to ignore clients. If nothing else, I was appreciative she admitted where she was wrong. I told her back she really needs to improve on that and also, given she gave me the choice, I asked for a refund. Even though she offered me assurance she will get these commissions done, I'm not dealing with her anymore and I wanted my money back.

And then guess what? Kiki-Kit GHOSTED ME AGAIN!!

This all happened on February 9th. Well, March 9th, one month after that first exchange rolls around and I still hadn't heard from her. I follow up, no response. She hadn't communicated at all since February! Finally, on March 25th, the day she refunded me, Kiki FINALLY gets back with some excuse about why it took so long and again apologizing. I'm not even gonna bore you with what she said this time around as it was another of the same excuses and "I'm sorry." At least this time I got my money back.

I was as nice back to her as I could be but holy fucking shit, I was beyond angry and disappointed in her. It really didn't seem to sound like she really even cared. I mean, the fact it took her over a month again to get back to me after apologizing and saying she was working to be better at communicating really left me running out of sympathy for her.

And again, I should stress, I'M NOT MAD AT KIKI-KIT FOR NOT DELIEVERING MY COMMISSION! IDC if I had to wait a year for it if she had been proper in her communication and transparency about why she was offline and not responding. This was always a communication issue, NOT an issue with it taking so long. Yes, she gave a reason in June, but then vanished for months yet again and still technically speaking, she hasn't officially posted anything since August 2024.

If you pay someone for a service and they then just vanish and not pick up your calls or respond to your texts or emails, you're gonna be suspicious. Excuses are a whole other story but even so, at least you are getting a response. I could've understood it if that was what she did. But a year without any response whatsoever, only one update in June 2024, multiple people coming out and saying they too have been waiting for months or even years for a response to no avail and finally me having to contact a 3rd party just to get her to fucking respond? Either Kiki-Kit is the worst at keeping track of her DM's, or she purposefully is banking on people not saying anything about her ghosting and just hopes they forget they ever bought something from her or give up after enough time with no response and accept they lost that money.

I mean, @foxieskullz was waiting since 2019 and similarly to me, it was her persistence and constant talking about it that probably was what finally made Kiki-Kit respond.

As of today, April 26th, it's been 1 month since Kiki refunded me. I told her once again when she did that she needs to contact all the other people she was paid to make art for and give them the same offer of a refund or promise to finish their art. Given it's been a month since that, I decided to reach out to some of those people to see if Kiki actually made good on that.

I contacted my friend Darkshade on Discord who also bought a commission from her that January about if she had heard back from Kiki and sure enough, she hasn't!

I also contacted @animepianistgirl2 who also has been waiting and similarly, no response from Kiki-Kit either. Hell, I was looking through my old posts about it and I saw even stephreynaart said she'd gotten a commission from her and still no response. That was back in June, so I haven't asked her yet about if she got a response or not since then, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's a no too. When even a person as respected and popular in the fandom as Steph is probably in the same boat, then things really are looking bleak.

IDK what else to say. I'm disappointed beyond belief. Maybe this is my GF fandom version of "never meet your heroes," but I still am so upset that of all people, Kiki-Kit could be like this. She's a legend in this fandom and was respected and loved by fans long before I ever joined. Her fanart was some of the first I ever saw and I celebrated with the rest of the fandom in 2018 when she got her moment to shine as an illustrator in Lost Legends and even meeting Alex Hirsch in person at a book signing event for it.

She's been in so many fan projects. She's a name everyone on GF Tumblr probably knows and respects. So, yeah, to have to say all this about her is not easy even now. I am so grateful to all of you who heard me out in October when I made my post about this. I was afraid to post it given even with all the people who came out and said the same thing, I was worried people would side with her due to the notoriety she has and just the thought that someone like her would never do this. But the response was incredible (I even had long time GF fans and artists who were friends of Kiki-Kit agreeing that her actions here were not right) and if nothing else, I hope it maybe helped spread word about this and get people to be more aware.

Kiki-Kit, if you see this, know that I am upset. I really hope you are doing okay and that you can overcome the hardships in your life that maybe led you to being like this right now. I don't believe you meant to be like this with malicious intent but it's what happened and you now need to fix that. I appreciate that you refunded me, but I am still mad. You have not refunded anyone else or even spoken to them even after I told you that you should. You ignored everything I said, even after you admitted yourself that you have a problem with communicating.

I hope you seriously work on improving your communication. I really hope you offer everyone left waiting a chance to either get their art finished or refund them. My posts are not going away. If you ever try to open commissions again, I am making sure people see these and know what kind of person you are to those who pay you. I hate having to spread negative shit like this on my platform, but if it spares another fan from losing money to you, then so be it. I had to wait only a year. Foxie was waiting since 2019 (and you gave her a similar set of excuses and apologies and probably never read anything she told you like you did to me)! And don't forget Jolliejackdaw who you blocked on Twitter and has been waiting since 2020!

I don't want anyone else to be in this same boat. Either commit to better communicating with your clients, or don't bother asking people for commissions next time. This could've all been resolved privately if you just bothered to talk. But you didn't. And now this all had to be said.

So, all this to say, while I don't anymore have to deal with Kiki-Kit, others are still waiting. And I'll keep asking around to see what happens. But unless something else big transpires, this is it for me in regards to Kiki. I hate making posts like this but it had to be done and tbh, I hope if anything it serves as a lesson to both artists and clients. Communication is key. Without it, stuff like this can spiral out of control fast.

I hope Kiki-Kit can mend her name in this fandom. I'll always be a fan of her work, but I am never commissioning from her again. And quite frankly, until she seriously fixes her communication ability, neither should you.

[artsy-hobbitses]

RODDDYYYYY MY BOY! God. I’m loving how much attention the backstories for each of the cast gets every time I come here. Abt Roddy’s street gang, what were some of their modis operandi while they were trying to undermine sentinel?

THERE ARE SO MANY STORIES THEY HAVE TO TELL and so little time to get to them all jgfsjdgff Roddy in particular is like Prowl in that he has enough narrative weight for like, five people, he's just more YOLO and less serious about it (because if he is, he's not going to be in a good headspace at all). The Hounds of Ulster mainly functioned as lookouts and scouts for the larger rebel cells (who affectionately refer to them as their 'hunting hounds') since most of them were 18-23, BUT as their names suggest they were pretty handy in a scuffle (throwing hands is a bit of a learned skill when you're roaming the streets as often as they do) and would often play the part of stupid, hotheaded street urchin biting off more than they could chew to lure Sentinel's men hoping for an easy catch into dead-end alley traps (this is where HotRod's Obfuscating Stupidity comes from. Even if his ADHD often puts him in "it seemed like a good idea at the time" territory, he's actually sharp as a tack and a lot of his ditzier behavior is intentional). They'd relieve these officers of their weapons, uniforms, and methods of identification to be used to break into guarded establishments and/or breach data banks. They'd also red herring Sentinel's men by planting fake evidence and looking and acting like the MUCH bigger and louder problem so that all eyes were on them and not the teams working to secretly sabotage Sentinel's ships and weapons factories (A tactic Hotrod still utilises till today though it sometimes gets misconstrued as "attention-seeking idiot". As far as he's concerned though, you want distractions? I got distractions) Fun facts: The nun from Solas Bhride (We'll call her Sister Eirinn O'Conlaed) who offered Roddy shelter as a runaway (even though she was told she shouldn't have because only women were allowed in the compound then, but she made the argument that he was still a boy and not a man yet) does reappear later in his story at the beginning of the uprising against Sentinel Prime in Belfast. She travelled all the way from Kildare to Belfast with a flame ignited from the larger St Brigid's perpetual flame which she and her sisters had been tending to for years, and as Sentinel landed on their shores and began his campaign of oppression against the populace, those sisters decided it was time Ireland's fire of rebellion was stoked again, and they set out to each major settlement along the east coast (facing the UK) to bring 'Brigid's Blessings' with them. And by blessing I mean Sister Eiriin offered them the flame that lit the first torches and firebombs of the rebels and told them to give these tosspots hell from Ireland's Patroness Saint. ("MARY OF THE GAEL/BRIGID OF FAUGHART SENDS HER REGARDS!" being a common thing Sentinel's men would hear before absolute chaos)

After Sentinel's operations were destroyed in Belfast, what remained of the flame brought to them by Sister Eirinn (who continued to stoke it during the whole period of the conflict so they always had St Brigid lighting the way on their missions) was encased in beacons along the ENTIRE eastern coastline (joining forces with the other coastal settlements doing the same) and to this day, St Brigid's fire continues to burn in Kildare and wreath the coast as a warning for future would-be colonisers and a reminder of Ireland's indomitable will. All this to say; There's a reason, a deep reason Hotrod loves the element of fire the way he does.

[a-student-out-of-time]

I'm extremely curious about your post regarding staffside. Would you like to elaborate? No pressure!

//Well I can't say I've read much beyond the halfway point of Part 1 and there's still a lot to go, so I'm really just getting started. But there's still a lot that I can talk about.

//I will be honest and say that I initially didn't really understand what role Staffside has. Not in the sense of "Ugh, why does this exist?" but in the sense of "What are we meant to take away from reading this story?" Especially since it's apparently not mandatory viewing.

//I was also way more skeptical of it when people said it was good but also very dark and upsetting. The subject matter alone is not very appealing to me.

//I fully acknowledge that's not any of the creators' fault, that's a me problem. I've unfortunately come across so many stories that discuss things like SA and power imbalances very clumsily, very poorly and very tastelessly. Yes, the goal is typically to show that these acts are evil and do great harm to people, but I'd say the vast majority of writers are not equipped to really handle it.

//They often throw these into stories for the sake of shock value and drama, rarely actually trying to sit down and discuss why these things happen and what effects they have on the people affected. Some do it better than others, but it's a topic you need to really understand before you try tackling it, and many writers who try may think all it takes is the bravery to do so. It does not.

//I'm not excluding myself from that list either. I've tried to address topics like SA here on ASOOT, and while I feel like I did an okay job, I know I could've done better. I've been very apprehensive about discussing this topic because I don't feel equipped to do so and I never want to resort to something that traumatizing as just drama fodder.

//In my opinion, if the writer's goal is JUST to show that a villain is cruel or evil, having them be a rapist or a bigot is a very cheap and tasteless way to do it. There's a fine line between writing about these things and using very serious, trauma-inducing topics just to leverage an emotional response from an audience.

//It's the difference between how Pennywise in IT can be read as a representation of the intergenerational trauma that comes from things like discrimination vs. just having your villain dropping slurs to show that they're a bad person.

//But in Staffside, it's not drama fodder. None of this exists just to make Kan more hateable or to horrify and gross out the audience. Staffside is about this stuff, why it happens and how it affects the people involved. It's about how the people behind this game aren't a bunch of faceless unfeeling monsters, but actual people who were drawn into a situation and then given no way out.

//There's so much care devoted to making the facility feel like an actual toxic work environment rather than a den of evil. Yes, the people involved ARE active perpetrators of a monstrous crime, but it addresses their humanity, their flaws, their fears, and what little comforts they can find with each other.

//When Kan assaults people, it's never treated as fodder to make him seem more evil. It's given actual weight and we see how it affects people like Dr. Suga and Dr. Hattori, how afraid people are, the fact that those who aren't involved feel qualified to judge it and dismiss it in favor of Kan's role within this project. There are many layers to it and the consequences are still ongoing.

//That is very, very rare to see, and I have to commend Von Babbitt as a writer. But I have to say, for me, it almost works too well.

//Another big reason I initially didn't want to read Staffside was because I'm an empathetic person who hates injustice and doesn't like seeing people in pain. If there are genuinely good people here, like I'd been told many times, I knew I wasn't going to want to see them go through hell.

//Again, it turns out it's much more nuanced than that, but I still feel apprehensive about reading this sometimes because it's so depressing and visceral and cruel. And unfortunately very realistic with how these crimes aren't taken seriously. Which just makes me upset.

//I was expecting more of the equivalent of Kan holding a gun to their heads and forcing them to do horrible things. Instead, he deliberately injuries people, makes them physically and mentally dependent on him, and makes them do bad things before they even realize what they're done and convinces them it's too late to go back now. The people here are denied control over everything.

//To me, that's more horrifying and upsetting than just dropping in an assault scene for the sake of drama. It's genuinely difficult to read at times and I have to stop frequently because I'm left with so many ugly feelings. As we all should when faced with something as vile as sexual violence.

//Not that it's all doom and gloom. I do like the relationships we have with the interns, even if I have mixed feelings about some of them as people. I'm not sure how that will change over time, but I am curious to see.

//Tl;dr- Staffside is incredibly good at what it sets out to do and I absolutely hate reading it. That's a compliment from me, I promise : P

[winterspiderpurrs]

In Vitro, Part III

Stephen is sitting in a chair next to the table were he was suppose to sit at. There is a stand next to him just off to the side, there was a clipboard and pen, box of gloves, bottle of gel, a speculum, a set of needles and tubes. Just a variety of things that made Peter a bit nervous. It didn't help that he had to nervously rush and get undress, doing his best to hide behind Tony before sitting the edge of the table, his hands covering his privates.

" Normally, I wouldn't allow other Alpha's in here while doing this exam. But if you wish for Tony to remain he can stay. Or I can kick him out if you prefer."

"No no.. Its fine. I want him here"

" I will be asking personal things. To fully understand what we are dealing with regarding your...delicate state, I will be asking questions. Some you will find uncomfortable, but I assure you. Your answers will help assist in the course of treatment. Full honesty. So if there is something you don't want Tony to know. This is your last chance."

Tony gives Stephen a flat look before looking back at Peter and nods as him. " It's up to you."

Peter shifts nervously on the cold table before shaking his head.

" That's fine uumm Doctor. No secrets. I don't care if Tony knows, its for the better anyway. "

"Very well."

Stephen picks up the clipboard along with the pen, and wheels the chair closer to Peter.

" Have you been sexually active in the last year?"

"Yes."

"And what types of sex do you have? Meaning is there penetrative intercourse, and or oral."

"uh erm yes to both?"

" And how many partners have you had?"

" uh Tony would be my umm fourth partner, but I was celibate for a year before Tony and I got together"

Stephen pauses for a moment, glances back at Tony and then makes a note.

" Your 23, correct?"

"Yes. I'll be 24 in August.."

" I see in your records you didn't see an omega specialist until you were 18? I couldn't find any other records other then online subscriptions for birth control after that initial visit"

"um Yes. I presented late. It was a bit of a shock, my Aunt and I thought I was beta since no changes happened when I was younger. But then I started cramping during a lecture. "

Stephen nods and sets down the pen and clip board, pulling on a pair of gloves.

"Scoot back and lay down for me. I want to feel around your pelvic area."

Peter scoots back on the table and then lays down, he reaches a hand out and Tony is instantly at his side. Tony reach out to grab his hand and lifts it up and gives him a gentle kiss on his knuckles.

Stephen stands and leans over Peter, pressing his hands down on his lower abdomen.

" And were any of your previous sexual encounters before you presented?"

" Uh yes. A Beta though. I didn't date an Alpha til I was 20."

"Do you recall, if any, that unprotected intercourse happened AFTER you presented?"

"No.. I take my birth control everyday. I never miss. "

Stephen looked over at Tony and raise an eye brow, before stepping back and reaching under the table to pull out the straps for Peter to put his feet in. Once Peter was placed in the strap he sits back down and scoots close again. Glove finger tips brushing up against a bruise that was definitely in the shape of a bite on the curve of his rear.

" And how long would you say, you and Tony have been trying to conceive?"

" Oh... umm well not yet? But well... you know the laws when you get engaged. You have to submit to testing and well results weren't good.. while we wanted to go the traditional route... baby 1st, that way if.. if it doesn't work, Tony still has a chance at finding someone else. I just got off my birth control today."

"Don't speak like that Gioia Mia. Stephen will find a way for us"

"Is that so.... Tony? I guess Congratulations are in order?"

"Knew it had to be him the moment I saw him. A year of planning... well if I moved him in, I wanted to do it proper. Can't have anyone talking bad about my omega. Plus now we know the results of that test, and you get to help us achieve our dreams of a family."

" We really do appreciate this Dr. Strange. "

"Anything for Family."

In Vitro

Parker luck was at it again. After years of bad dates, breakups and just not lucky in love. Peter meets Tony Stark.

He accidentally ran into him when he was dropping off lunch for his Aunt at the hospital.

" Oh my gosh! I am SO sorry sir. I... your...Tony Stark? "

After Peter apologized a few more times, he offers to replace the coffee that he accidentally knocked out of Tony's hands when they collided. He didn't expect him to accept.

Tony apparently, had heard his speech about his research proposal a few months back; at that time. While Stark Industries doesn't do much in the way of the medical field. 'Not in my wheel house and not wanting to step on toes', a comment that Peter didn't quiet get. He was interested to know if anyone has offered him a grant or had taken him on.

While people loved his idea, when they hear it from a 22 year old Omega. Well. People tend to brush it off. So Peter had only gotten a job recently at the hospital where they had run into each other. A receptionist job, Aunt May(Beta) was able to pull a few strings.

After that, they started to met up at coffee shops, then inviting Peter to the lab to see what other ' ideas are tinkering around in there'. Tony didn't CARE that he was an Omega, he valued his brain, and if he didn't have a crush on him before, he definitely did after that.

With in a few weeks, Tony asked Peter to dinner. And the rest would be history. Except, when Peter asked about them seeing if they should live together after about a year of dating. With Tony's busy schedule, it would be easier, Tony like that idea, but said he wanted to be slightly traditional.

"Let's do things the proper way Gioia Mia, lets get engaged first. And then once we are finally bonded, we can get our own place or move to my family home upstate"

In a society where Omega's are almost 2nd class citizens. When an 'Engagement' happens, the Omega must go in for testing. As it isn't FAIR to the Alpha to possibly be stuck with someone who cannot carry.

And THAT, is where the Parker Luck comes in. Just when Peter thinks he can FINALLY have it all. Well. The test results are in. They didn't say he COULDN'T have kids, just that he would have a very hard time getting there. And they recommend treatment.

" Don't worry Tesoro. Stephen will know how to fix this. Bastard is good at what he does, going to gloat probably, and we will make sure you can have the pups for us."

"I'm so sorry Tony...if you don't want to.. to see me anymore. I ... I can understand"

"Hey hey... its not your fault. Dry your tears. Your still Perfect Peter. Knew it the moment we spoke. This is just a bump in the road. We will make sure your ready when the time comes."

Phone rings.

"Dr. Stephen Strange's office, this is Mindy, how can I assist you today."

" Hey Mandy, can you patch me in to Stephen"

"Of course Mr. Stark! Right away, please hold while I transfer"

Click, stale music.

" This is Dr. Strange"

"Stephen, looks like we will be needing you expertise"

Stephen sighs could be heard from over the line.

" Of course you do. This the road your really want to go down now? Won't some.... other Omega do?"

"No no. Peter is it Stephen. We HAVE to make this work. You'll see once you meet him. Please as a favor to me. You know I don't like asking for favors. "

"Fine. I'll help"

"Grazie cuore mio"

"Your insufferable"

********************************************************************

Talked to @professional-benaddict about this idea after they got the ask and we decided we were inspired! And to take it on a wild spin of our own creation.

Link below of the original ask and response! ( which is quiet delish)

https://www.tumblr.com/professional-benaddict/781460953688686592/would-you-ever-consider-writing-ivf-into-a-blurb?source=share

[tanjir0se]

Every time I think Sasuke’s clear and obvious homosexual obsession with Naruto might be maybe a little one sided, Naruto will do something absolutely insane like walk into his childhood room after two years, grab his dusty picture of Sasuke, gently brush it off, fingers lingering for a moment over Sasuke’s face, and lovingly whisper “Sasuke…I’m home…”

[aelswiths]

Aelswith x Alfred + Hand Holding (& killing me 😭😭🥺🥺)

[scary-monsters]

depressed as fuuuuck but at least thinking about huffing diego’s armpits still makes me feel Something so i know im not completely lost 😭🫠 the pit sniffing fic is still on my list to write btw.. for the two people interested in that sort of thing (me and myself LOL)

[flecks-of-stardust]

wholeheartedly and with as much gentleness as possible, i truly think there needs to be more discussion about downpour in the community as it is now. for a variety of reasons.

[alphalesbian]

Really strange to reach a point in my life where my time is worth a good amount of money but having no real on-paper ways to show my talents

[musical-chick-13]

Regarding the previous post, I think the way I approach trying to evaluate a piece of art is asking "Do I think the positive things I get out of it outweigh the parts of it that I don't like?" And when I call something a "guilty pleasure" song/show/book/piece of media/etc. it's really more in the sense of, "Given who I am as a person, the flaws I've found in this should be complete dealbreakers for me, but somehow they aren't, and it makes me feel like I'm having an identity crisis."

[catboydan]

fiance got me a kindle for my birthday <3

[waywardsalt]

i. get the vibe that the more mainstream zelda fans are allergic to the idea of liking characters who like. do bad things