#‘and is still working some things out in regards to it’

[just-watch-and-calculate]

ooh writing that is related to time loops but not conventional time loop narrative is interesting. the idea I have now is a bit of a different direction in terms of the underlying concept though

TW/CW: death (mentioned in the 2nd person, implied ending) (also a slight warning: the following is fiction written in the second person and is about being disoriented in spacetime, and about the existential dread from that; also I don't know how much other people get out of this without some rather specific physics knowledge)

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The rest of your life is ahead of you.

You get ready to end the day by waking up into the comforting embrace of sleep. This is the end of the day, right? Mind already— or still?— groggy, you are not sure. Faint recollections of today make themselves known in your mind. Recollections of one of the two ends of your life. Just whether it is the celebrated or grieved one you are not sure right now. At least you are headed away from it, right?

Thinking about that, you realize that you might be moving away from the moment you will(?) end he day by waking up. You are awake enough to notice that the phrasing of that sounds… off, somehow. The sun is still a bit away from setting— or is it rising right now? By definition the night ends with the sun rising and starts with it setting, so that is no help in figuring out which way is future and which way is past.

You remember somewhat how today went goes. And you remember a bit less clearly how tomorrow yesterday the closest day one night from now goes. That is a sign that the future is that way, right? That we know little enough about that temporal direction to think we have free will there.

But you know better than to think you truly have free will, don't you? You know that when you learn about it you are shocked. And you know that at some other point in time you are not shocked about it, at that point in time you accept that the universe is deterministic.¹

But will that be in the future, or has that been in the past? You hope that that is your future, because you remember enough to know that one direction is much longer than the other. Something goes went will go goes wrong today.

You realize that you should not have such clear memories of both past and future. Maybe that is why today has been— will be?— so confusing. You do know that it does make sense for it to be possible though: the direction of time is surprisingly ambiguous unless entropy is involved, so those memories do little to help.

Entropy! You remember: you can find out what direction is generally regarded as the future quite easily. You grab an ice cube. As you hold it you remember that you have(?) let it go right as your hand hurts slightly from the cold. It slides across the floor towards/away from you. Your hand is wet and cold from it. You know enough about entropy to know that the cube melted from holding it.

Which means that today is still mostly ahead of you. And then… nothing. Not the faintest recollection.

You feel cold panic. You are clinging on to the irrational, desperate hope that somehow you can change this. But you know that you can't. Shattered, disjointed recollections of today are burnt into you memory so much deeper than anything else.

Has some attempt to go back just reinforced fate instead? But that isn't how causality works. It shouldn't be. You hope you are not doomed already. You know you are.

Maybe— maybe your colleagues can help you. They've been working on this kind of thing for some distance time (but it's a lot less in time than what that length would be in space, isn't it?). Your research group is working with small controlled systems to better understand what time is. Most that you remember coming of that research so far only has potential for some parlor tricks, but that can change, even on such a short notice, right? (Hah! 'Short' notice, as if we all already know that time and space are not that different.)

There it is again, that irrational thought that somehow the universe doesn't work as you know it does. That things you know cannot be changed, things you know you cannot change, could be changed.

You stand at the bus stop. Why would you have to wait there if you know the bus has arrived early at its destination will be late at the bus stop?

You are on the bus. You just look out of the window disinterestedly, watching the world go by, letting distance pass like time. Is the bus driving forwards or backwards? Are you headed towards your end or away from it? In any case, part of what has you so disinterested in the bus ride is that you know it is uneventful. You have already ridden here from one of the stops you got on/off the bus at and remember that part of the drive. You also remember the other part from/to the other stop you will get on/off the bus at.

You arrive at the laboratory. "Good morning!" you respond. "Morning!" is the answer you receive from the only other person currently at the lab. You can't shake the feeling you should've responded with 'bye'.

You look at the current setup: two almost identical experiments that can run simultaneously — except one of them has opposite charges and is mirrored. And most important of all, one of them starts as the other ends — one of them is backwards. And you truly do not know which one that is anymore. (Anymore? Or will you just come to learn it later?)

It looks different from the other times you see it. "Hey, could you check my calculations? Something's not adding up, I've found a configuration where I don't know where some of the energy comes from" your colleague asks. "It's just, trying to figure it out has kept me up all night. I'd really appreciate a second pair of eyes on this."

You consider what she says: 'all night', not 'all day'. That clears up how she perceives time. It does not fix how you do though.

You remember what is written on the piece of paper she hands you as you first read it. And she is right, it should all add up, it just somehow doesn't. It is as if the Formulas just 'know' that something will be there to fix things. And if not, who knows what would happen. You would rather not know. With a sigh you say "Whatever is wrong with that calculation, I can't spot it either."

"It's alright, I already modified our setup to test this. Want to give it a try?" she responds. Not waiting for your answer in her eagerness to learn she fiddles with the controls of the experiment.

You run between her and the experimental setup. You suddenly know where the extra energy is: with you, somehow. The setup is currently powering up/down. You have to do something or you really will risk finding out how the universe deals with mathematical inconsistencies.

She calls your name, voice full of worry. You are in the experiment room. The setup is powered. You know what fate lurks here. You want to leave this room so badly.

It is too late. Your path through spacetime is not exactly subject to causality — it kind of is causality. Your path through spacetime is not something you have carved out. It just is. And here it leads you. And one of its ends is here.

You want just one more day.

The last, or perhaps the first thing you know is just how wrong you still were about how time works.

_____ ¹ I'm too much of a nerd to completely gloss over quantum randomness possibly not being deterministic, but for the purposes of this story it can be ignored.

I love time loop stories. Really, I do.

But I'd love to see a story about what happens after you emerge from the time loop.

When, after months or years of repetition, you have to learn how to live with a choice you can't redo tomorrow.

When you meet someone new for the first time and have to figure out how to navigate this brand new conversation.

When you reach for the same day's clothes and realize that you can't wear them because they got dirty. Your laundry, your dishes, your body, your teeth, all the tasks that reset with the loop are suddenly stacking up and you need to set aside time to do them.

When you reach that first weekend and your schedule radically shifts and you don't know what to do with yourself, which is terrifying but also exhilarating in ways you can't explain.

When you casually drop facts learned from those books you spent a dozen loops reading, and you realize you retained something worth keeping.

How your memory gets weirdly good all of a sudden, despite not having all that repetition to fall back on, because suddenly every experience is fresh and new.

And when the seasons change, and your hair grows long enough that you want to cut it, and when you realize it's shocking because you didn't think you'd ever see something as incredible as the passage of time.

[galene-gothic]

2025 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗅𝗒 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES TIP JAR

CHRISTMAS & NEW YEAR SALE AND OFFERS

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

(Note: I started your pile towards the end of the year so terms such as ‘this year’ likely means 2024 when it comes to the summary. Thank you for stopping to read and I hope that you enjoy your reading thoroughly.)

꒰ A summary of 2024 for you ꒱

You started this year with a grand mindset. You wanted to expand yourself, your life and make the most out of it by creating abundance by yourself. You basically wanted to turn your life around. I’m getting that your mindset was fairly good because you seem to have already turned something around for yourself by that point which is why you felt so confident in your vision. You were very driven to succeed and were not going to accept anything lesser than what you wanted. You were also curious, taking ideas from where you can get them, gaining knowledge from where you can so that you could make something out of your vision and you had broken free from many limitations, your mindset was not limited, negative beliefs were not present and you were dreaming big, you were also acting according to your vision like taking inspired action to the best of your capabilities. You were very empowered and driven at that time, you also had the understanding that life is a cycle but now that the year has come to an end, you’re someone who lacks work life balance and is not satisfied with how much you did causing you to feel ungrounded. Due to how much potential and time you had, and how you wasted it, you’re feeling stuck in life. You might have been looking into your past earnings and spendings (like this year’s spendings), and feeling disappointed, and a lack in terms of finances as well. You seem to be adjusting your priorities around this time. You are feeling some financial or career pressure, mostly because you didn’t do as much as you could or wanted to do. You had great potential to create stable foundations for yourself in terms of money, goals and career specifically, you could have truly grown but it’s just disappointing how your investments were either not done well by you, like you seem to have lacked follow through or consistency or things are just going slowly, you haven’t given up, you’re still trying but you’re feeling insecure about disappointing yourself because you know how much potential you had. You probably feel like you spent a lot of money as well.

You’re interested in connections at this moment, you’re hoping that next year things will be different and you’ll have close heartfelt one on one connection(s). You failed consistency and hard work, and you feel shitty about it. Your love life was pretty much non existent or very unpeaceful. If your love life was non existent or even if it was not, you dealt with difficulty with falling asleep at some point within this year, many of you could in fact be dealing with this these days itself. You could have felt embarrassed of the people you dated in the past or looking back at the way things were, you feel ashamed and depressed because you didn’t deserve that. I’m getting many of you being up in your heads in regard to love. There were also worries and anxiety regarding love at some point regardless of whether you were involved with someone or not. When it comes to your family, you seem to have been as responsible as you can be but you realised that you weren’t doing as much as you could and may have recently fixed it or are trying to do so. There’s this thing about you growing your family life in some way but being more focused on money, career, work, etc. than family because that’s the way you seem to care about them? In terms of friendships, you seem to be pretty decisive. It could have been the year when you cut friends or a friend off with a sense of decisiveness that you didn’t possess in the previous years. You are disappointed career wise, it’s not like you didn’t try but you feel like you prioritised comfort and leisure over proper investments and work. You feel like if you had been decisive to what you wanted to follow through in the beginning of the year, you’d not be left right where you started. It seems to pain you pretty deeply to not be able to make as much progress as you wanted to but despite, the disappointment you feel, you’re trying to have an even judgement going forward and not be too hard on yourself. You’re rethinking your mindsets, priorities, etc. and have had an awakening of some sort. You do not want to stray off your path next year and want to do better so that you do not feel disappointed in yourself, and your life again.

꒰ How will 2025 go for you? ꒱

The main theme of the year 2025 for you is going to be to recognise your values, actions and intentions when it comes to romance, beauty, and one on one connections in general. You’re also going to have to acknowledge where you tend to go wrong in terms of connections. If you had a love life in 2024 and are going into 2025 with that person, you’ll break free from them because the situation seems toxic i.e. one that makes you anxious, makes you feel negatively about yourself or life, makes your mind race or/and cause you sleepless nights. However, the rest of you are going to be alone or at least internally focused, causing you to attain a lot of wisdom and also grow to love your own company more. There are going to be hard truths that you’re going to learn about romance, connections and the opposite gender in the coming year. You’re also going to learn how to not put all your eggs into one basket, not out of lack of loyalty but out of self respect, by the end of the year, you’re going to grow into someone who is not going to commit to uncommitted situations. You’re going to be pretty unwilling to commit as well because you’re not going to find what you’re looking for. Your focus in the year 2025 should be on your commitment, attachment and abandonment issues. Protect yourself and keep in mind what people are capable of doing, how they may hurt or abandon you and make peace with it, knowing that that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. I also suggest that you hold back on sharing your feelings, money, energy and presence during the year. You’re being told to save money. Also, hold yourself as your most prized possession. Not from a place from insecurity or narcissism but from an empowered place where you understand that you’re so valuable that anyone who leaves you behind is clearly dumb because someone else would break their back and bank in order to have something even half as precious. “Some people won’t be able to afford me” is the kind of mindset you should have. When I say ‘afford’, I do not mean that you’re a commodity but that you’re very valuable and some people simply won’t have the resources required to match up to the vibration where they could get and coexist with you. Please just have more faith in yourself and don’t give yourself away to people who do not live up to your standards action-wise because as the old saying goes “actions speak louder than words.” You’re going to get opportunities that are going to keep you very busy but there are going to be opportunities for distractions and long term uncommitted connections as well. You could get an opportunity that allows you to grow from within your comfort zone itself or will push you out of it, tiring you out. You’re going to have incredibly strong intuition and an access to information, and wisdom from a higher source out of nowhere or through a medium (youtube, audios, people, etc.) but will have a hard time trusting all of this. It is important for you to push for the truth by being a clear thinker who observes situations well, and spends time putting two and two together. You’re being told that your intuition will often be supported by the physical reality, it’s just that words might fool you so you need to be very vigilant and observant because actions can’t be faked. You’re being told that people can have bad intentions but they usually do have good ones, but even so, their actions are often bad so it should not be that difficult to connect the dots. There might be trouble in terms of education, skill building, team work, etc. You’re going to get in touch with a very unconscious side of yourself and your psyche that you didn’t even know existed, it’s going to be scary, confusing and you might not like many things that you might see but you’ll grow your depth, and will develop a stronger understanding of yourself going forward.

You’re going to see your own darker qualities and will also realise where you’ve faced deceit from yourself or others. I’m getting a lot of truth coming out but also a very glazed energy, like you won’t be sure what’s real and what’s not, it’s going to be difficult to differentiate between truth and illusion, and you’re going to hurt a lot. You could also face major endings this year. It doesn’t even have to be external or something that you’re aware of but you’re going to grow to be more humble, stability and career driven, and will be ethical, and consistent. You’re going to learn a lot about productivity and work ethic during the year. I’m getting that the ending is going to be more a spiritual thing by the way. In terms of romance, you’re either going to have a very light hearted and reckless approach or a very serious one but you’re going to break free definitely. You’ll understand that you’re very powerful and that oftentimes, romance has caused you to think of yourself with a sense of inferiority but that you being fooled back then doesn’t mean you can’t just reclaim your power. If you aren’t involved with people and won’t be at that time, you will try to stop thinking about situations and people because you’ll have realised that the only power anyone or anything can have is the attention that you give it. In terms of family, if you have had a bad past with them, you’re going to be pretty apathetic honestly. Especially when it comes to past complaints or negative memories that you may have of them, you’re going to accept and heal those instead of thinking about them every time something occurs within the household. You’re going to have a lot of empathy for your family but will also have the emotional intelligence to know that you didn’t deserve certain things that you may have had to go through because of them. You’re still going to forgive and love them though, and if you have a good relationship with them with a good past, you’re going to be contemplative and will find that certain members within it truly help you heal, like it will just be something that you’ll be grateful for even if it’s something that you’re so used to that you’ve started taking for granted but there’s going to be a lot of understanding and love that you’ll be extending from your side. Your career and finances are going to expand, and will likely bring in a lot of abundance, and understanding of your own path. You will likely think back to days when things weren’t as good and will be grateful. You should focus on management of money and time, and make sure you don’t spend, work or play excessively. If you’re consistent and manage your time, and resources well, 2025 will bring in so much money and career growth for you. Your own hopeful and well influenced qualities will be affecting 2025 but you’ll not even notice it. You might notice it now that I’ve pointed it out to you but it is going to heavily affect your year despite how unnoticed it will be. You’re going to do most things out of love and the love, and hope that you’ve received at any point in the past is going to help you do your best during this year. You’re also going to be more loved and influential that you might consider yourself to be, you’ll likely not be aware of the extent. My advice for you for next year is to communicate or at least think through emotionally unstable, uncomfortable or unsatisfying moment properly. Try not to react impulsively to negative thoughts and emotions. The outcome is going to be self contentment, you being able to stand up for yourself and possibly experiencing losses. Due to how much ‘breaking free’ energy I’ve received for you, it could be that you’ll start fighting back instead of silently taking it causing people to get upset but even if it’s something different, you will be more regretful about engaging with such people or situations than losing them because it’ll be their loss, not yours. Thank you for reading, much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ A summary of 2024 for you ꒱

You started the year with a passionate energy but it could have been overconfident in nature. I’m getting that your mindset was scattered in some way. You were thinking about many things and hence, were feeling a lot as well. You had had enough reality checks by then but these reality checks were the very thing that were causing you to feel overwhelmed. I’m getting a lot of passion, frustration, anger, impatience from you, like your mind was all over but it was still very passionate. Your hard work was paying off in some way. It could simply be that you had grown enough to grow out of certain situations and were persevering to build a better future for yourself. Despite the places your mind was at, you were maintaining patience. You could have wanted to grow something in the previous year, like at the beginning of it but were tired and were trying not to overdo it but you had already worked long, and hard to build yourself to that point as well. You were very committed and perseverant towards your goals. Even situations that caused you frustrations, anger and overthinking were situations that you managed to gain from. It was disheartening for you that what you had previously invested in, thinking that it had grown or wanting it to had disappointed and failed you. You were working on growth and your goals, and giving up was not an option for you. I’m honestly getting a lot of disappointments, anger and passion, like even though these feelings are different, passion being positive and the other two being negative, they were all very strong. The reality checks that you had were something you didn’t want to have, you really wanted situations to work and it broke your heart that you were starting to see the reality of things, and accept it. You also felt frustrated at yourself for not seeing and accepting the truth of situations early on. The illusions that you had previously attached yourself to emotionally were something that you were breaking out of and it felt overwhelming, it also felt good and like you were making progress but it was also heartbreaking. You could have been trying to balance these overwhelming emotions by grounding yourself in reality and having something to do in real life because you had cracked the code by then that the best way to deal with emotions, illusions, excessive daydreaming and just things that feel real but also feel illusive is by immersing yourself in real life, in your daily routines and simply just having a life grounded in reality itself. You had already overcome a lot of instability and feelings of being left out in the cold, isolated, insecure, etc. You were still in the process of healing more of these. There could have been a point when reality was so bad that you were unconsciously or subconsciously trying to hold onto whatever illusions you could find comfort in but they led to nothing but wasted time, pain, hurt and disappointments in the long term of things. At that time, you were getting rid of all of that and had already managed to significantly do so. I’m also picking up on these situations being partially real or at least very real emotionally. For example, if a kid got bullied for being ugly and worthless during their middle school days, even if it never extends beyond harsh words, snickers and humiliation, it will definitely terribly humble them and even destroy their self esteem. It could have not seemed that serious because “people will say things, you can’t take everything to heart and it’s not bullying because it never got physical” but to that kid, it feels real, it felt real, it will feel real even after they’ve grown up and it is just so deeply ingrained in their psyche, and emotionality. They will still feel as though they’re unwelcome, others are trying to ridicule and humiliate them, others think that they’re worthless, others will treat them unfairly, leave them out, etc.

I’m literally crying because these situations that emotionally affected you but didn’t seem to be ‘that big of a deal’ in the physical world seem to have happened a lot, as well as other negative things that were very real but you weren’t aware of the extent of them in the past. At the beginning of 2024, your soul had overcome a lot and was still in the process of doing so. You know how people say that they just randomly got over something? That was sort of what happened but again, the reality is that you didn’t just get over it. Like, you took half a decade to mourn but randomly stopped mourning as much on a random day is the vibe that I’m getting. You also spent so much time by yourself, feeling hurt, lonely and isolated that you got used to it, and not only that but also developed a sense of solace within yourself, and life itself. You might have not realised when this happened but it had already happened by the beginning of the previous year. You were forgiving situations, people and even yourself. There were two paths that you could have followed during the previous year, one was the path of stability but also more isolation and less self expression but you would have accomplished a lot of your goals or one where you were spending more money, not saving, doing your best in terms of work because you lacked consistency and were just burnt out, and tired all the time and not being able to maintain a routine, etc. but were able to develop more of a style and sense of self expression. No matter what path you took, you did it well and I’ve gotta applaud you for that. By the end of the year, you had a major shift in mindset, you had become much more empowered and just felt more in power, and control than you did in the past years. “You’re burning up, I’m cooling down. You’re up, I’m down. You’re blind, I see but I’m free.” When you were younger, you struggled with feelings of inferiority and powerlessness. Especially in the previous years, there was a sense of power, mental, emotional, spiritual and possibly physical poverty. Everything you experienced broke you down little by little and possibly even crushed you completely at some point. Your mindset had become one of obsession, negativity and powerlessness but by the end of the previous year, you had grown into someone who had more control and power over their own mind, and you also had this realisation that your power is yours, and it’s impossible to truly strip you off it. In the past, people and situations managed to make you feel disempowered, helpless and honestly pathetic but by the end of 2024, you had grown out of it. You seem to have learned the lesson of at least trying to keep your mind as clean as possible. “The only power anything has over you is your attention.” You have understood just how powerful and worthy you are, and it did break your heart that you didn’t realise it sooner but by the end of the year, you were feeling confident, warm and authentic. You were happy to have gotten back to yourself and your power even if it took a lot of time for you to get there. You also really value this mindset, sense of power and confidence within yourself because you know what it is like to not have it. You seem to be content being your authentic self again and having an empowered mindset but what I need to address is the way you act. You were not being very honest towards the end of the year and might still be this way. Like, you could have lied about little things here and there, or maybe you didn’t even lie but you just don’t expose what you do, what your life is like, what your emotionality is like, etc. to other people. You seem to be very private and in fact, very secretive. You are willing to take risks and are very strategic. You could be highly interested in keeping up a certain image and might feel like you’re unable to do so. It could be something you’re dealing with right now or die when you were in the end of the previous year.

I’m getting the desire to have a refined ‘persona’ but one thing that I need to tell you and it’s something that you already know is that all you need to do is be yourself. You’re naturally quite secretive. Don’t fake yourself entirely in order to become a persona. You can take good qualities of yourself and exaggerate them but you still do not have to be perfect. You had grown to be very comfortable with yourself by the end of the year but you may be hard on yourself in regards to actions, words and image, you care a lot about how you come across to others by the way you present yourself. You’re being told to be yourself but still keep your inner world away from other’s reach, let little parts of yourself and your life trickle through but make sure it’s out of reach for people until they’ve earned it. You’re naturally good at this though, just reflect on the past, you’ve always been good at this but you’re also good at reaching into other people’s inner world and exposing a vulnerable part of it to them. You had grown to be content and abundant by the end of the year, in terms of emotions especially. You’ve made significant progress when it comes to authenticity this year. You’re being told to refine yourself further and also your persona because you seem to truly want to do it but not to remove authenticity from it. It’s not even like you need to be deliberately crafting a persona, as long as you’re yourself because you’ve already learned how to be very secretive. You’re also resourceful and have found a way to get what you want even if you’re not entirely honest about certain things. Like, for example, I’m currently volunteering at a campaign for underprivileged children even though it’s only for college students but Sir Warrick has fit me in by lying that I’m a university student xD. Is it a big lie? Not really. Did I get what I want? Yes. Your soul has already gained contentment and abundance. I’m getting an almost happy go lucky energy from your soul. 2024 could have been a busy and fast year for you, one where you were constantly on the go. This could have been in two ways, either that you were busy working and had a lot on your plate work wise or were going out a lot, developing personal style, expression, etc. but still had personal and work responsibilities to deal with so the year just passed by in the blink of an eye for you. You learned a lot about the mind, keeping it in the right place, gained clarity about things and have gotten in touch with your reasonable and powerful side during the previous year, and also learned more about the importance of being active. You seem to know by now that having something to keep you engaged is the best way to retain your power because you’ll be grounded in reality and within yourself, and won’t have much time to overthink. You have a desire to retain your power by being reasonable, intelligent, sharp and knowing how to create, and set firm boundaries. You also want to be more active, accomplishing your goals and being someone who leads by action rather than word. This is why you seem to be really critical of yourself when it comes to your image and persona but trust me, as long as you’ve got a firm and strong character within yourself, and are leading with kindness, compassion and well worked out actions, you’re doing fine but yes, you do seem to have people who like to disrespect and ridicule you without you having done anything, make sure that you stand up for yourself but do so as calmly as possible, and just try to avoid such individuals. It’s better to not waste your breath, energy and words on such people, and situations. Prevention is better than cure as they say, if people seem to disrespect you for no reason, just avoid them entirely because these kinds of people only disrespect you the more they get to know you.

꒰ How will 2025 go for you? ꒱

2025 for you is going to be a year of a lot of overthinking, illusions, etc. but also being so over it that your year will be about clarity, awareness of your depth, lessons from deep within your psyche, etc. You’re going to move on from a lot of your ways that you’re deeply stuck in. “You can’t deny, how hard I’ve tried. I changed who I was to put you both first but now I give up.” In the past, you were under the illusion that maybe you should be more sacrificing for harmonious connections but as you grew older, you realised that the more you bent over backwards for others, the more they stepped all over you, you realised that it was not harmonious but in fact, unfair and harmful to you. It led to a deep dive into your own psyche and hence, shame like were you doing all that out of desperation? If all of this has not yet happened, it is going to happen this year in very extreme ways. There was also this thought of maybe you just weren’t enough because stripping yourself off of who you were and your own needs was not enough for others. By the end of the previous year itself, you had become very aware of your own power and had grown to be less ashamed, and more accepting of yourself - the good and the bad so I would say that you’re going to grow on that, and move on from a lot. You’re still going to be carrying baggage of the past but you’re going to be unwilling to return to places, situations and emotions that had you feeling so helpless. This year, you’re getting the opportunity to free yourself from other people’s over domination over you. You seem to have a dormant sense of dominance and aggression to you that you do not tap into or express but some others can pick up on it, leading to them feeling aggressive too and feeling the need to over exercise control over you, and those who don’t underestimate you, and try to walk all over you. In the past, people succeeded to trap you and control you, pretty much making you work according to them like a marionette, their doll that they’re using threads to control. There seems to be a theme in friendships, particularly opposite sex ones where you find out that they viewed you as an option or someone to rely on, flirt with, share an emotional connection with as a replacement for a romantic one, etc. rather than a genuine friendship and it has left you feeling used, and in romance, there seems to be a lack of commitment that you’ve experienced from others and there was likely a point, when you stuck in such situations, and you’re going to look back at it and go “gosh, I was so stupid”, you’re going to low-key (high key honestly) bully yourself because why weren’t you enough and mostly why did you think that you weren’t enough? Why did you act like you weren’t enough by sticking in such situations? You’ve had a history of being an underachiever because situations in the past caused you to have a crushed esteem and you were not able to have practical routines when younger. You used to lack follow through, resources and were honestly lazy to a certain extent in the past, making it easy for others to underestimate you because you were underachieving and stuck in situations that anyone with a healthy esteem would not even think about entertaining but you’re going to manage to grow out of it this year. This is making me heavily emotional. You could also meet people - acquaintances and friends who help you move on from the past that haunts you in some way but it’s going to be a journey that you’re going to have to take on on your own, you’re going to have to get over it in the comfort of your own home, bed, space and mind. Your inner world is going to bring about a lot of shame, fears and lack of empowerment, you’re going to blame yourself for being so stupid in the past but you’re going to move on from it at some point, finally being able to see light at the end of the tunnel. The laziness and lack of discipline that you previously had deeply ingrained within you is going to be something you break in order to protect your ego.

You’re going to break free from the people, systems and situations that previously abused their power over you. You’re also going to get rid of your own overthinking and powerlessness, and need for control significantly. You’re going to start by feeling angry at yourself for everything that you had to experience but will direct that rage onto those who hurt you and honestly, used you in some way but you’ll use these experiences in order to shape better routines, habits, discipline, common sense, groundedness into yourself and your life. Some of you could have quite literally gotten bullied by your friends, family, lovers, acquaintances, classmates, etc. in the past or a group of all of them causing you to have a lot of trauma. You’re going to struggle with seeing your power and influence, and how amazingly great you are despite your dualities during this year. You’re going to be bullying yourself very heavily. There could be moments when you’re more play than work but there are also going to be moments when you’re very serious, lacking play. You’re likely to struggle with materialising your potential into reality due to your over playfulness or over seriousness. Like, the energy that I’m getting is that when you’ll work, you’ll work so seriously and in extremes, burning yourself out completely. You’re going to have to learn how to manage your time and energy properly, and figure out what works for you during this year but it’s going to be difficult for you because you’re going to have a lot of disempowering thoughts in your mind triggered by the past or of the past itself that will feel very real to you. Your focus should be on your pure heart, try to keep your heart as light as possible because your mind is going to be very heavy and hence, unload onto your heart. I’m getting the siren lore coming through (both the fish and bird ones). You’re being told to beautify yourself and try to present yourself properly without being too hard on yourself. You’re being told that you need to ‘feel it’ in order to become it. Correct yourself to feel the way you want as many times as you need to. You are being told to have faith in yourself and courage, and determination in your path. You’re being told to focus on how pure hearted you are and understanding that it was their loss, and that the more you think about past situations, the more power you’re giving them. You’re being told to pursue your goals and are being told that in regards to love connections, you like pure hearted, childlike, fun and innocent ones, so you should not settle for anything lesser than that. Don’t ever fall for desperation. This year, you’re going to learn how to be more biased and less committal because you’ll know what it is like to be in one sidedly committed situations. Also, you’re going to realise the unfairness of your previous investments, be it in connections or something else. You’re going to understand where you were the one struggling to properly invest time, energy and resources to certain activities, causing you to not reap the ideal results. Basically, you’re going to find out where you’re lacking action wise or are not allotting time and energy properly. You’re going to find a sense of belonging within yourself and are going to close cycles, moving forward steadily. Work wise, you’re going to lack consistency but you’re still not going to lack perseverance. For example, you want to keep a routine throughout the month, you might be unable to do so but you’ll still make sure you complete your work. Everything that will be weighing on your mind and heart will make it difficult for you to work consistently. You’re going to waste a lot of energy thinking about the past and worrying about the future, when you could use it to build your career instead. Still you’re going to go very far from where you previously were or currently are. You’re not really going to be in a bad place, in fact, you’re going to be reaping a lot of what you’ve grown and will be looking forward to more by the end of the year.

What I think is going to happen is that cycles of the past that you’re unable to close, sudden negative changes that have or will happen will affect you without your knowledge. Now that I’ve told you, it’s going to be something you have more awareness of but it’s still going to be quite unconscious to you. You’re going to be morally guided, these morals were likely passed down to you by a teacher or someone you met in an institution like a school, if not it could simply be the institution itself held those values but you’re going to be trying to go about things very ethically and are going to let go of more insecurities than you did the previous year, major healing is on the way. My advice to you is that this year has high potential for letting go of the past without regrets. Forgive and forget because that way things won’t have a power on you anymore. There’s no point of holding onto anger, regrets, disappointment, shame and aggression. Yes, you were wronged but you being wronged is what has caused extreme changes in your life, while they might not feel good and probably make you, and made you feel unstable, it’s only a signal to you to ground yourself further and build yourself more, and more. You do not have to forgive people externally, forgive them within yourself in order to heal your own heart. You’re a romantic person but any sort of romance you’ve experienced, even the slightest trace of it has caused the rug to be pulled from underneath your feet without any warning but embracing these changes is the only way to go otherwise, you’re going to experience lack for a longer time than you have to, you’re going to feel unstable and lack abundance for longer. The main theme of your relationships are forgiveness, grudges, extreme pain and healing. The outcome is going to be - you being unwilling to compromise and work with others, and choosing your personal goals over emotions. You’re going to love people but your sense of responsibility for yourself, your passions and competitions is going to be higher. You’re going to be unwilling to let anyone walk all over you, causing you to have aggressive fights or at least some tension in your connections. In your familial connections, you’re going to hold love for them but it’s going to be stifled in some way. There’s going to be a lack of love, passion, trust, belonging and support in all your connections or at least that’s how you’re going to feel. You’re going to be more defensive and authentic in who you are by the end of this year. You’re not going to be willing to bend down to anyone. You’re also going to be lonely but are not going to be feeling that way. Well, you will feel that way but you’ll prioritise character, actions and the inner world a lot so you are going to have your priorities in the right place, knowing that money is important but still not enough to bring about true happiness. You’re going to be a bit arrogant but will have a lot of silent power because you’re going to prioritise your own character and actions too. You’re going to be unwilling to make excuses and will be hard on yourself when you do something that you’re not proud of but you’ll remind yourself that others walked all over you so much in the past, it’s just the frustrations pouring out and that while it is still not an excuse to be so aggressive at times and have anger tantrums at the wrong time, on the wrong people, and situations, you’re going to choose to do better because you’ll feel a lot of shame but will still be trying to not ruminate over something you cannot change. You’re going to have a strong desire to be yourself at all costs and will be very aggressive, be it internally or externally when someone tries to change or question that. You’re going to set strong boundaries and will mind being an aggressive bitch to others but will understand that you were pushed to such a limit and won’t be too hard on yourself for too long. Thank you for reading, much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ A summary of 2024 for you ꒱

The overall theme of 2024 for you was aggression and competitiveness driven towards or by past events, and people. It doesn’t seem to be a bad thing honestly. The past seems to have been on your mind quite heavily but even so, you managed to build yourself a lot. In the past, you could have dealt with competitive friends who used to humble you in subtle ways, in fact you dealt with acquaintances who used to try to humble you in subtle or well, straightforward ways and you used these events of the past to go after your goals, and push forward with passion, and determination because you wanted to be taken seriously and most importantly, you wanted to take yourself seriously. There was also some anger towards a past person who you shared a deep, triggering but oddly comforting bond with even though you knew them for a short time or possibly a long time because they didn’t keep in touch with you or something like that. What I find really funny here is that you probably still have mixed feelings towards this person, like such a soft spot but such a weak one, so much love and affection but equal amount of resentments, anger and complaints. You started the previous year with a contemplative energy, you were thinking a lot about self love and your own sensitive nature, and also how much love and empathy you provided others with, with hopes of receiving basic respect and treatment. You were thinking about desperation, self love and all of that. Action wise, you were breaking free from a lot of limitations, hurt, pain, fears, sorrow, devastation, suffering and powerlessness. That’s how you were building foundations for your new life, little by little, step by step. I just heard ‘baby steps’, so well maybe you were falling a lot before you started walking in a more balanced manner. Emotionally and relationship wise, you were overwhelmed, you just felt like you lacked fulfilment and abundance in this part of your life, and you were closed off to love because you really value the deep aspects of love, and intimacy, and also value emotions, and love beyond just the earthly way in which people seem to love. You don’t want something superficial, you want something deep, all consuming yet still allows you to be yourself. You also value the character of the other person, you want them to offer more than just material value to you and you found it difficult to find people who truly appeal to you. You felt independent and lonely, and unloved but you were extending that love to yourself and trying to nourish yourself, and build yourself character wise as well because to you, your character is of utmost importance. Like, if you do something that you’re not proud of or realise that you’ve drifted away from your true character, it weighs pretty heavily on you. You wanted to become someone who you could be proud of in terms of character. You were honestly sorta sad but you were trying to see the light, find hope and optimism, even if you overdid it sometimes. You wanted to grow stability, groundedness, character, career and money. In terms of life, you could have decided to follow where the grass seemed greener. You just kind of left situations suddenly, not wanting to take negativity into your new year. You were looking forward to your future and were looking inwards for wisdom, and guidance. I’m not getting a lot of human interaction from you at that time or it was just not interaction that affected you in any way. By the end of the year, you had grown to have control over your mind and knew how powerful you truly are. You wanted to grow this power more but for the right reasons. You wanted to become more reliable as a person and felt the need to be responsible, reasonable and have a strong character that you maintain steadily. You had also become very graceful and well influenced by the end of the year. Wanting to be gentle and having a lot of hope despite any chaos that you may have experienced in the previous years.

You’ve become friendly but you had already and were still overcoming obstacles with grace, making you have faith in yourself and life itself. Emotionally, you had developed a deep understanding of yourself already and were in the process of getting an even deeper understanding of yourself, and your own psyche. You were committed to fairness, wanting to be fair to others and yourself i.e. if someone made a choice of any sort, if they did or said anything, they’d have to deal with the consequences of what comes out of it. “You make your bed, you sleep in it” is the vibe that I’m getting here. You had become someone who was slightly hard on yourself because you wanted to remain in control of yourself and have a great character, one that is reliable, responsible and built so strongly, it can’t be broken down. You had already accomplished a lot and built a lot for yourself, and especially within yourself but you wanted to do more, you wanted to be more. “When you’re not growing, you’re regressing” and you didn’t want to regress so you were hard on yourself so you’d not get complacent and instead could continue growing. You were also tired of constantly working on yourself and your life but you were also slightly proud of yourself. You were persevering in life, not letting yourself break or give up. You had developed a lot of courage because your life forced you into situations where you had no choice but to develop and channel such a side. You’ve learned the importance of not yelling at people and having temper tantrums in the previous year. You’ve also learned the importance of equality and healthy power dynamics in relationships. You also learned the importance of giving without expecting returns though, maybe you just learned that you felt good when you gave to others wholeheartedly without any expectations. You learned that power is silent and that you do not need to be externally well reputed or popular in order to have power. You could have quite literally learned the power of silence. “Communication is key but it is better not to communicate with those who are not willing or capable enough to understand you.” You learned the importance of self love and not over empathising, also that being too hard on yourself is something you need to stop doing. You learned that the emotional intelligence and empathy that you give others should be something you extend to yourself as well. You learned how to learn and be more humble, you also learned how to hold silent power by letting others underestimate or try to humble you but not being able to because you have developed a healthy esteem and life for yourself where you’re content and don’t think or feel like you’re superior or inferior to anyone but are grateful to have all that you have.

꒰ How will 2025 go for you? ꒱

2025 is going to be the year of growing to become more mature and wise. The main theme of the year is domesticity of some sort. Your year could revolve around community of some sort, home, stability, family, etc. This year is going to allow you to hide yourself by straying you far from yourself, you’re going to feel like you’re unable to be your authentic self and are either going to be forced to hide by circumstances or are going to do so yourself. Also, despite moments of pessimism, you’re going to have that sense of ‘not giving up’ within you. You’re going to be trying to find hope, some light desperately and will find it but there is going to be a sense of not being your authentic self at some point during the year. Also, being unseen and hiding yourself. Like I said earlier, it could be deliberate or something that life brings to you. You’re going to struggle with emotional attachments and detachments, you’ll probably not want to let go of certain people, situations or ways despite them not fulfilling you. I’m picking up on a sense of emotional overwhelm but also detachment pushing you far from your normal self, making you realise how unauthentic you’ve become, how far you’ve strayed from yourself and hence, helping you grow by making you unseen for a while so that you can learn how to improve yourself instead of prove yourself. You should focus on keeping your zest for life alive and remaining confident with a healthy self esteem during this year. You’re going to grow in big ways, becoming more secure within yourself, valuing stability, refining virtues present within you and instilling new ones, etc. For those of you who earn, you might save up or might have an increase in income. You’re going to be more grounded within yourself outside of external validation because it’s going to be your year of spending more time at home, re-evaluating what domestic bliss means to you and remaining unseen in some way. This is going to be the year when you’re either going to give more than you’re receiving out of responsibility or will realise the unfairness in your connections in the past. If not, you might have already realised it and you’re going to be very weary of give and take during this year. Despite this weariness, there’s a genuine desire to give without expectations of receiving anything. Romantically, you’re going to be someone with discernment. You’re going to be someone who doesn’t place unfair blame on others and yourself. “He did this so I can’t interact with him anymore but no hard feelings” is the vibe that I’m getting here. You’re going to feel like taking things personally and holding grudges doesn’t do anything except make one relive the pain. Familial connections will be healing as by the end of the year, you’re going to want to provide for them and simply just be someone of rich character so you’re going to forgive them and not get mad or at least act out of anger when it comes to them.

Platonically, you could have conversations with people through texting but I’m getting quality time and fun with people being fleeting. You’re should be more patient when it comes to finances, studies, career, skills, etc. You’re being told to put in work consistently and wait for results to show instead of fearing the unknown, and stopping to reanalyse things again and again. Time management, money management, etc. could be really tricky during this year. You could maintain a delicate balance but you have to make sure that you keep your priorities straight because there is definitely a chance that you’re going to feel disappointed at the time and resources you wasted when looking back. For those of you remaining focused, you’re simply going to be busy and maintaining things very delicately. Yes, you might make mistakes here and there but you’re going to manage to have something to show for the efforts that you put in throughout the year. Besides, even if you do not have anything to show for your efforts, your success will be found in your daily routines and I think that’s a lot xD. You’re going to have pride and a desire for recognition that you’ll be unaware of you that will be motivating your actions during the year. For example, when reevaluating your needs and desires for your domestic life. You might feel like it’s ideal to look after your family and provide for them to the best of your abilities because you’ll want to feel a sense of pride in doing so, and will want to be seen as someone who’s doing all of this. You’re being told to remain even tempered and level headed, trying to balance things out properly instead of blaming yourself or anyone for anything, or letting your anger or emotions get to you. “DO NOT LISTEN TO SAD MUSIC AND IMAGINE SITUATIONS THAT NEVER HAPPENED OR EVEN REPLAY THE SITUATIONS THAT DID SOON!” If you disappoint yourself, don’t be too hard on yourself and be as gentle as you would be with a child who made a small mistake. The outcome is going to be you stopping to seek love and nurturing in ways that could violate your self respect. Developing stronger ethics and following them, possibly starting to understand and value some old school systems. For example, sex only after marriage. I’m picking up on you feeling really weak and vulnerable by the end of the year due to lack of love, nurturing and understanding from others but learning from it by diving deep into your own psyche, patterns and actions, and also accepting other people’s actions for what they truly were, even if it hurts. You’re going to be a very ethical, respectful and slightly old school person who desires to be a recipient of ethical, respectful and old school treatment by the end of the year. Thank you for reading, much love and take care.

[sim0nril3y]

Call from the Captain

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Civilian!Reader Scenario: Captain Price has to tick some boxes and make a call to the next-of-kin Warnings: No mask Simon (It's my personal headcanon in his regular life he probably wouldn't wear it), very soft, canon-typical swearing.

It had been a good couple weeks since Simon had been deployed. There was no denying that it was difficult to be away from him, but mixed with no contact it was miserable. There was only one thing for you to do and that was bury yourself in your art, fill the time with doing something creative as Simon would be entirely unimpressed if he’d found out you were simply moping around.

It was so difficult not to have your mind be occupied by him, worrying for his safety, worrying about his whereabouts, worrying that there were people out there that were actually shooting at your husband, aiming to kill. It made you sick to your stomach; it made you want to crawl under your duvet and not emerge until he’d returned safely… but for his sake you pushed on.

 At the sound of your buzzing phone, you rapidly dunked your paintbrush into a jar of water and then reached over to snatch your phone from the table besides all your paints – the very same table that Simon had attempted to label and line up in colour order and much to his disappointment that hard work seemed to last for half a day before the labels were covered in paint and they were moved out of their places.

“Hello?” You asked then before sneering at the mess. “Oh bollocks – one second…” You requested your face away from the device as you used a nearby cloth to dab it down of the excess colours, then placing it on speaker before talking again. “I’m sorry about that. Are you still there?” You quizzed to the unknown person on the line.

It was then that your full name was asked back towards you, a rough yet authoritative voice. “Is that you?” He’d asked, wanting to confirm you were the correct person. “Oh, yeah. That’s me.” You answered easily, feeling anxiety building up inside of you, bubbling and mixing in your stomach as your brows etched together. “Who am I speaking to?” She’d asked.

“My name is Captain John Price and I’m the superior officer of Lieutenant Simon Riley?” Oh well, that made that bubble of anxiety burst as utter dread filled you. Why were you getting called by his Captain? What was this all about? “Is he okay?” The question slipped out before you could manage to alter the panic in your tone. “Simon is fine.” He answered with an ease then, his tone was soothing and utterly apologetic as he said. “I’m sorry for worrying you…” He understood how these calls to families could bring along a great deal of panic with them. “I’m actually calling as more of an administrative task. Simon filled out some paperwork and requested that we contact you as a next-of-kin if anything should happen regarding…” The words were caught in his throat. “Him.” You could understand entirely and it made your eyes water the thought of him not making it home. “I’ll just need your verbal confirmation that you are aware of this and that you agree to it.”

You voice was barely a whisper in return. “I wasn’t aware…” This made John chuckle in response. “Now, doesn’t that sound like a very Simon thing to do…” Then he let out a small joking tut which made you laugh wetly before replying. “I wasn’t aware, but I agree to it. Completely. I want to know… I need to know everything that is going on with Simon. Everything that I’m allowed to know anyway.” You spoke clearly with intent. “Will that be okay? Is that what you need?” “It’s fine, love.” John replied and you could hear the soft scratching of a pen jotting down some details.

There was a long beat before you finally built up the courage to finally ask. “Is he okay?” And without hesitation John answered. “He’s doing fine. I got report from him this morning.” He explained but that was the extent of the details he was allowed to give. “Simon may not have mentioned this, but there was support groups for partners in the services.” He explained. “To help you through this transition or with support for anything, or if you ever need anyone to speak with.”

“Thanks.” You answered with a little bob of your head, these were a lot of emotions to deal with alone. A moment later you blurted out clumsily. “Oh, and I’m really sorry for saying bollocks earlier.” Then you cringed in embarrassment as you made the realisation. “And for saying it again just then…” You grumbled out covering your face in horror. “Don’t worry about it, love.” John laughed, a true genuine moment. “Thank you for taking the time to speak with me.” He informed her. “Thanks for calling.”

Masterlist | Ask | 19-01-2025

[lilacxquartz]

BEYOND HELLFIRE

true form sukuna x f!reader

plot: back when you were still alive, sukuna had once surrendered a lifetime of peace for you. when he had you incarnated for his return, however, it all went wrong. —

themes: canon divergence, romance, angst, soft sukuna, sengoku period — cw: (upcoming) yandere, violence in next chapter, blood mentioned, potential manga spoilers

chapter 1 of 4 • next chapter > • masterlist • chapter directory • on ao3

Chapter 1. Kintsugi

A honeyed beam of light basked the long-spanning fields in a warm glow as the sun slowly set, gradually painting the skies into a darkening night. You stubbornly sat in front of your family home as the day grew to a close though, determined to see your responsibilities through.

At a glance, you supposed that the village in which you resided was just about peaceful enough, though, it was also unfortunate. Just like the many settlements that spanned the coast, it wasn’t without the swarming plagues that passed by, nor the earthquakes that shattered everything, crumbling what once was.

It was delicate—just like everything else.

Just like the all of those things you sought to fix.

Cracked pottery to be exact. The method was still new, especially around these parts, but you couldn’t keep your curious hands away—much to the annoyance of those asleep just inside. A couple of candles were lit to guide your way in addition to the moon that gradually climbed through the sky, lacing you with a cold, pale glow. Gold or silver mixed with lacquer, carefully painted in between the cracks of broken pottery—this was how you made your keep—something once broken, sold off to those higher born.

Just as you were finishing up, however, a deep voice interrupted your focus, causing you tut at the intrusion.

“Such a strange creature,” it pointed out, the low and masculine voice observed. You already knew who it was though, so you didn’t look up. Given the time of the day and the sudden appearance, it was likely the two-faced devil who had once spared you, here to bother you once more.

Ryomen Sukuna indeed stood around the corner of your home, lazily leaning his shoulder against the wall. He looked down at you with a faint curiosity, quietly watching you work on something he had long deemed pointless. This wasn’t the first interaction you had with him, though. After that night, the one in which he spared you, he started visiting you more often. Creeping along like a silent shadow—unassuming and in the background, but during more recent times, he had grown bolder—demanding his presence be acknowledged.

His reputation never once betrayed him, too, he was imposing, tall, bull-like, and terrifying, but you learned not to flinch because, for some reason, he wouldn’t even touch you.

“You said that the last time already,” you murmured with a steady tone, smoothing out the lacquer of the broken pot, letting it dry with your guided touch, “does what I do bother you that much?”

Sukuna scoffed, folding his arms as he regarded you with slight disdain, though, it wasn’t exactly hatred. No, he didn’t dislike you, that’s why he stuck around, clinging to your presence out of maybe… sheer curiosity. A strange creature that confused him greatly, making him feel things that he didn’t want to understand. “It’s just pointless, isn’t it?” he remarked as his eyes narrowed at the settling craft, “you’re saving something broken, only for it to shatter one day all the same.”

“Perhaps,” you acknowledged his sentiment, finally letting go of the pot, “but it’s sometimes interesting to see just where fixed things, that were once broken, will go, wouldn’t you say so?”

His composure momentarily stiffened, briefly reminded of how the two of you came to be. Sukuna wasn’t one for self-control, after all, a being driven by impulse and hedonistic will. One such village that you happened to be visiting on a supply run—got completely wiped out overnight with blood-soaked soil pooling on the streets. Not a single soul was spared, neither low born nor high born, except for you.

You remembered it so clearly; crossing the gaze of the man whose gaze was burning as deep a shade of crimson as the stained wooden paneling of the many massacred homes. You froze at the sight, meaning to turn away, but he caught up to you within a matter of a few, rumbling, quaking strides. From that moment on, he left you alive to spread the legend, though it was never a mercy to begin with.

(Perhaps a warning, then?)

(And yet, as the years passed you both by, the village you returned to remained standing and he had only settled nearby, never once painting your settlement the same bloodied shade.)

Sukuna thawed his guarded reflexive response into something smoother, almost betraying amusement in his expression. He then crouched right beside you so that he was nearly level with your eyes, taking a moment to lock into your stare. He schooled his features into something sharper, hiding the mockery that he disguised as care, hoping to tease you with his next parting words, “Perhaps, but the world isn’t so kind to the things that are destined to be weak. You shouldn’t prolong something that is doomed to be devoured.”

However, you took the statement seriously, throwing him off guard a little once more with a response that was undeniably… human.

“Even so, why not prolong a good thing?”

He half scoffed and for a long, good while, he simply said nothing, just fixing you a heavy, intense stare. His eyes lingered over yours, boring into your very soul before standing up at last, before taking a deep breath and turning away, leaving you alone with the now empty black sky with the moon hidden behind the clouds, with the candlelight put out from the passing breeze.

~~~

Sukuna visited you sooner that time than the last, unable to leave you fully alone. There was a pull from him that led towards you, no matter how much he tried to distance himself, always finding himself within your company again. This quickly would become the norm; with him looming in the background, slowly easing into the cracks of your life, watching on from the shadows as you went about living, only at seldom times interacting with you, if at all.

At best, he was an afterthought, a fleeting face that watched you from the sidelines.

Sometimes though, he would ask you questions about things that he couldn’t understand. Such as when you ground up medicine in a mortar and pestle to aid your parents, who had both fallen sick, bedridden, and decaying within the confines of the family home.

“Do you ever grow tired of this?”

You glanced up, not stopping what you were doing as you sat cross-legged on the ground just outside, gradually grinding down ingredients to form a fine paste. You considered the question, not seeing it to be a problem to help those close to you; it was the right thing to do, after all. Still, you supposed that for someone like Sukuna, he simply couldn’t see it that way, so you were more honest than how you would have been with somebody ordinary. “Sometimes,” you admitted with a weak smile, “but that’s just living, isn’t it? The young take care of the old, and that’s just how the cycle goes.”

“The cycle…” he murmured, imagining you for a moment being frail and old, with someone taking care of you. For the sake of his own selfishness, he would never let that occur, never let anyone get close to you, let alone make you a mother. To him, the cycle was oppressive and as such, he didn’t reply, instead watching you work in silence while his eyes brewed with a look you couldn’t quite get a read on.

From that moment on, his presence became more familiar, consistent too, and slowly, you started to grow all the less annoyed at him so as long as he didn’t bother you. It was a peculiar arrangement, if you were being quite honest, and his fixation with being at your side was something you never understood. For someone who thrived on violence and chaos to be tethered at the hip to someone who craved the mundane was an odd match in your eyes—but it worked.

Slowly, he also began to (albeit begrudgingly) help you, too, though he would never admit it directly. It was subtle things, like clearing the fallen branches from the decay that winter brought off your land and making sure that any whispers of bandits afoot would remain as mere rumours, never once letting them reach you. Things like keeping your stocks well supplied, or throwing a blanket over you when you fell asleep from sheer exhaustion, slowly learning the ways of what it meant to care, to burden yourself in the name of closeness.

And as time went on, the seasons passed and Sukuna’s calmness caused the village to thrive, entering a golden era, so as long as you were around. Still as cruel as ever, though, arrogant too, but he reigned himself in for your sake.

Or so you thought.

One night in particular, just as you were finishing up preparing your stock for the long week up ahead, Sukuna brought up a point, not as a threat, but as a reminder.

“I could tear this whole world apart,” he murmured, watching you stack repaired broken bowls adorned with your craft, “so easily, too.”

“I’m aware,” you replied as you concealed the pottery with a tattered cloth, just in case the wind would blow it all away overnight.

“I could destroy you, too,” he added, his voice low.

You hummed as you pushed open the door to your now-empty home. “I know.”

Sukuna paused, for once choosing to break his unspoken promise to leave you untouched, extending his calloused fingers to prop just below your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. How delicate were your features when looking back into the eyes of a monster, who in this pale light, looked more human than he could have ever been.

He scoffed. “And yet you stay.”

“And yet I stay,” you acknowledged.

From that point on, the months that once passed you both turned into years that spanned into decades. Sukuna, personally, never once aged a wrinkle nor a fine line with his features still honed into a marble smooth finish—but you did. The years had aged your face, decorating you with the evidence that you experienced a life well lived, free from the chaos he threatened to cause despite seeing it firsthand. It was funny in a bittersweet way with how these things worked, but you never once questioned it too much, enjoying this quiet sort of intimacy. You worked on your craft for years, slowly growing older, weaker, and frailer.

The world continued all the same though, with the once rolling fields overshadowed by cyclic caramelising beams of honey that painted it golden, though blurred in your waning vision. By the time you reached eighty, your sight was almost completely gone and yet, you still worked, driven by memory, and your innate will to tinker until you simply couldn’t.

Sukuna in turn, never once grew bored of watching you work, always having something to say that contradicted who he truly was. A lifetime of peace was what he quietly promised you, something that otherwise made him internally recoil, and yet, here he was, having made such a decision that he intended to see through until the very end of you.

“I never thought I could live a life like this,” he admitted, watching your weary fingers work away.

You huffed at him, waving a hand in the wrong direction. Your hearing was going too. You had developed somewhat of an attitude through the years, after all, since he never once touched you—hurt you—leaving you to quietly exist within his company for as long as possible, all because he was once curious.

“You chose this though, didn’t you?” you rasped out.

He took a moment to process your breathless tone, knitting his brows at just how feeble you sounded. “Not exactly,” he replied quietly, “I chose you.”

You didn’t reply to him, gulping a deep breath down, choosing to focus on continuing to mend the plate instead. A part of you never fought against the attention he paid you way back then out of both self-preservation for yourself, but also to your village. Letting him linger by your side ensured its survival, so you grew used to him, finding that by the end of it all, you actually enjoyed your time.

Although, time was finite, and it was growing to a close. You could feel it. Your body, once full of vigour felt drained, and you were certain that with the exhaustion that beckoned you from your core would be the last time you lay down; it would be the last time you closed your eyes and then, you would simply fade away.

Such a prediction wasn’t incorrect either as you quickly slipped away, leaving Sukuna just standing there, stilling at the moment as soon as it all connected. He clenched his jaw as he processed the grief, tightly swallowing what it meant for something to truly be gone, his fingers twitching as the rush of decades of pent-up impulses came surging forward.

An era of peace dissolved from the moment you took your last breath, finalised with the skies bleeding crimson, with the streets filling with blood, just like the very first time you saw him.

The village that you once loved, wounded, left to bleed out, left as nothing more than a scar in his memory of what once was.

~~~

The decades slipped by like wistful dreams too, somehow so muddied yet distinctively vibrant, emphasised by the blood that he spilled again and again. Fields of green grew straw-yellow, later barren and dried up. The people saw devastating catastrophes too; one after another, victims to a man close to a god, set out to destroy a world that mocked him with fleeting mortality.

And when it was finally for his time to go—when he set up that deal with the body hopper—he arranged to seal the deal for you too, just to make things interesting again. Call it being selfish, he didn’t care. Hedonistic indeed. The order of things couldn’t have been the only right way in the world and no matter what, he would bring you back, if even just to say goodbye, having missed the chance before.

Kenjaku did warn him though, that with a soul long dead, your memories would likely be gone since a withering soul was a weakened soul. Sukuna persisted though, not caring about the cost he had to pay to see it through.

After all, he would make you his again, no matter what he had to do.

this is part 4 of lilac’s bite sized jjk yandere nightmares

[tumblingxelian]

"Are we discussing the writers intentions with Jaune, Jaune as a general character or the audience reception to Jaune and are we singling out a specific audience or the collective?"

All three really. The collective.

To start, I'm fascinated by how Jaune seems to contrast the girls in terms of their development. His growth is very loud and in your face in specific moments like Jaundice or the prom or Volume 3's finale.

Hell, his moment in the Battle for Haven has him not getting the trauma induced power up to punch Cinder hard but rather to heal Weiss. After that, he's to the side healing those who need it. It's a big moment but his only moment aside from a small passing mention of his semblance.

It feels like peaks and valley when it comes to the times when he gets the focus.

All while the girls have each of their journeys spread across the whole show's intended run. Ruby's arc of trying to move forward too much has always been there but with weekly episode releases and hiatuses between seasons, it's causes even those who are well meaning to overlook it.

I don't know if that came out right so make of my thoughts what you will.

OK so its too hot for me to do any recording or other projects but I can answer asks, so let's get to this (Cracks bottle of cold water over my head) Let's do this!

So, Jaune is certainly a divisive character and while I have warmed up to him somewhat over the years, and while I adore RWBY I often feel he can be a disruptive element, but also one that does in fact serve a purpose. Keep that in mind for my response going forward.

So, touching on your stuff first, it is interesting, though I would argue against the idea that the girls don't also at times have very loud character development.

Weiss's shifter after talking to Port, her summons, the Atlas party, ETC. Blake running away & confronting Roman, her everything with Ilia, the final confrontation with Adam and the Bees kiss as just some examples.

Interestingly Ruby and Yang are on the more quiet end of character development scales with stuff building up slowly and quietly. Though not without their big moments, Ruby's eulogy and explosion, Yang's confrontation with Raven and the bees kiss, ETC.

Still, I think I see what you mean in how these things tend to be framed and handled in a much more varied way than media usually does.

IE, Jaune losing it at Cinder in V5 is basically him lacing the temperament of a Huntsmen that his allies have and it accomplishes nothing on his end as far as "Badass confrontation" goes and instead he only starts to grow after leaning into the role of support & healer, even defaulting more to Yang as leader in V7 during their rescue work.

Overall and I said this in my Bees essay that CRWBY like long form story telling, and that influences a lot of how RWBY is written.

In these regards Jaune does feel interesting/odd because he does have several... Archetypical moments of character growth as you say. What's interesting to me and what I think the writers are going for is that how good some of these even are for him can be questionable.

What I mean is like...

Jaune went to Beacon with a very "Idiot Shounen hero" attitude towards things. He cheated his way into an elite school and kind of just assumed it'd work out. He didn't try that hard in classes till he was being blackmailed, rejected help out of pride and even when he did seek it out it was only after he had a "win" under his belt that wasn't even wholly his but he doesn't know that.

The thing is, very little ever went Jaune's way on these things either in the short term or long term.

IE, he short term he showed up at Beacon and nearly died and or failed (Subversion of his shounen expectations.) But then he was helpedby a cool girl who ineplicably liked him and said he had a lot of Aura! (This falls in line with his Shounen expectations!)

But then it turns out he still sucks at classes and having what a girl who has a crush on you says is a lot of Aura doesn't mean much when surrounded by other people who also have a lot of Aura and have been training all their lives (Subversion again)

He then manages to retain his pride and defend his team and wins a battle "All on his own" except he ignored Glynda's advice and only won because Pyrrha guided his hand. Though after this he did swallow his pride and get help, its sort of net neutral?

Moving forward he wasn't that involved in the plot, but his stuff in V2, was very "Standard" school stuff, but then it was followed up by his love interest also being his mentor being a problem because Pyrrha fulfilled the trope of the mentor dying. Jaune was also cut out of that entire conflict (Wisely) because he's not actually the main character and he'd only get in the way. (Subversions all round! Be it for the cool girl liking the Shounen loser, him not being the MC, Pyrrha being his mentor and the tragic "Brightest of their generation" before she was his love interest and so on!)

Just within the first three volumes we see that there's this dichotomy of Jaune trying t and sometimes even getting to play much more standard story beats "Straight" that RWBY usually avoid. Only for them to then get blindsided by RWBY's more subversive elements.

But the key thing here is you only notice the latter if you pay attention to the whole, and not the individual moments. This is a problem I had with Jaune till about V6/7; because despite my insights here I do think the execution has been murky more often than not.

Still, with the above in mind, I think one can easily where how things flow out from there, with Jaune trying to play these self assigned roles and getting these moments of "Standard storytelling."

Only for something to come along later and put a spin on it.

V4 Jaune gives a nice speech to Ruby but it ultimately just serves to reinforce her burgeoning issues because he also missed her tendency to repress and when placed in a scenario like he would have been with Pyrrha he froze up and couldn't act, IE Tyrian almost getting Ruby.

He finally got his big speech and rage at Cinder, but was actively being told to chill by Qrow and Cinder gives near zero fucks and rather than getting a power up he gains a power that assigns him a support role over a "badass" role.

We also get to see something in V6 which I thin is often neglected in Jaune analysis, that boy has a fucking temper!

We've seen it with him shouting at Pyrrha, at Cinder and then outright attacking Oscar. But he always calms down afterwards and no one seems to hold it against him, but the thing is this means he never really works on it. The only thing that can shut it down is his own sense of shame rather than actual self control like say, Yang has.

But I digress, my interpretation of the writers intent but I basically think Jaune is meant to serve four purposes in the narrative:

1: Counterpart & foil to Ruby as leaders with very different skills & roles in universe. 2: Counterpart & commentary on shitty male authority figures who needs to unlearn toxic masculinity. 3: A longform subversion of the typical "idiot Shounen hero" who gets by on gumption and lots of natural talent. 4: The closest person we get to a wholly normal person in universe, as even Oscar has an ancient wizard in his head.

These are all interesting things and I can see what the creators are aiming for, or so I believe. However, I do think the execution of all this is often murky.

The short form stuff I mention above is some of the hardest to grapple with cos until you see it pay off it just seems like standardized story tropes, and even then the emphasis these ideas require to work can be disruptive to other characters narrative importance.

What's more while interesting and impossible to fully comment on until the story is wholly done, it is hard to say how strictly necessary some of these ideas are to explore given RWBY's limited run time. & the fact some of them could be divided up and given to more temporary characters who don't need as much narrative real estate.

Thus I can definitely get why people often find Jaune frustrating. Hell, I can often find him frustrating, especially because I think some of his traits are meant to evoke a degree or irritation with him. But all of this also feeds into why he can be such a divisive character.

As for people who just project onto Jaune and make him super harm big badass, ugh, idiots unworthy of consideration who frankly shouldn't be watching RWBY, I have nothing to say to them.

Anyway I hope this was coherent, thanks for the ask, sorry it took so long!

[sabrerine911]

"Unstoppable Mushroom-Hungry Berserker Lady!" WIP(BG3) Featuring Astarion, Karlach, Beth(my non-Tav), Wyll and soon to be eaten Glut.

Still very sick, but Im trying to slowly get back into drawing, commission work has been painfully slow since my sickness Artblock so Im hoping to actually get back into the swing of things before things get bad

ANYWAY, felt like sketching something with the Beth Ravencoft Squad from BG3. been wanting to make more jokes regarding her berserker-ness(more lore than ingame since she fits Wildheart a bit better based on her animal/wolf nature). Felt like making a more comedic scene. Astarion out here being the only one making sense since Wyll and him on that 8 STR by default XD Also, figured Id give rope some use, since BG3 doesnt care about it's existence XD

I do wonder if you would get high if you bite at Glut, being poisoned makes more sense, but its by far the most boring answer XD

[infiniteeight8]

for alpha/alpha ironstrange could we have a part after afghanestan

Oh no could we have one with Stephen meeting obie. Obie is one of those betas with alpha complex so he regard Stephen as some weak alpha but then stephen shows him he is maybe a submissive in bed but he isn't anyone bitch. 😏

The rest of this series can be found here: Alpha/Alpha IronStrange

-

Stephen is in his office, reviewing the file for an upcoming surgery, when Obadiah Stane knocks and then walks in without waiting for Stephen to answer. Tony had warned Stephen to expect this, but even if he hadn’t, Stephen wouldn’t have been surprised. Stane is one of those betas who simultaneously believes that alphas are inherently superior to all other dynamics and also that his own dynamic was some sort of clerical error. It shows in every press conference he gives. Not to mention the way he tries to bully Tony about company matters.

Someone like Stane will be incensed by Tony’s relationship with Stephen. Not only because Tony hasn’t chosen an omega—the rightful property of alphas, from Stane’s point of view—but also because Stephen is somehow betraying alphakind by bending over. Not that Stane knows anything about their sex life, but of course he’ll assume Tony tops. That he’s correct is immaterial, since the whole premise is bullshit.

So when he walks into Stephen’s office like he’s entitled to it, Stephen ignores him, instead focusing on his computer.

It only takes Stane a few seconds to break, too used to people kowtowing to him. He wouldn’t last ten seconds in a real dominance contest. “Doctor Strange,” Stane says sharply. “I need to make some things clear to you.”

“You must not need it very badly,” Stephen says, still not looking up, “because you failed to do anything that would ensure the conversation actually takes place. Like make an appointment. I’m busy.”

“Blowing me off doesn’t say much for Tony’s importance in your life.”

“Tony is aware of his importance to me. Anyone else is irrelevant.”

“Look,” Stane says, thumping his hands onto Stephen’s desk and leaning down into his space, “I—”

“You are interfering in essential work,” Stephen interrupts, finally looking away from his computer to lock eyes with Stane. “My familiarity with these records can make the difference between life and death in an operating room.” Slowly, Stephen stands, holding Stane’s gaze as he does. Stane straightens up with him, refusing to look away and not seeming to realize that letting Stephen control how he moves is one of the oldest dominance plays in the book. “You are not entitled,” Stephen says, circling his desk without ever breaking their gaze and stepping into Stane’s personal space, “to come into my territory and presume on my time.” Stephen pushes closer to Stane, forcing him step back, and back, until Stephen backs him right out the door. “If you want to talk,” Stephen says, “make an appointment.”

Finally breaking their gaze, Stephen catches the eye of the security guard down the hall, and then the neurosurgery department’s secretary. He looks back at Stane and smiles when he sees Stane has absorbed just how public his defeat has been. “Melanie can assist you.” Stepping back into his office, Stephen closes the door.

The ‘inherent superiority of alphas’ is bullshit, but it can still be used against the idiots who believe it.

[baldurs-gape]

Three Little Words

It was unbearable. If Astarion didn't know better, he would have said Gale was being a tease, what with tops which were hung open to reveal a tantilising glimpse of the orb's lines disappearing along with the promise of chest hair the probably turned into a delectable fuzz, consolidating in the happiest of trails. To put simply; Astarion wanted to see more but Gale was being a prude. Why he always wore robes to hide his form was nothing less than an insult to Astarion.

Sense didn't seem to work in persuading Gale to go topless. No reminders that the sun was good for one's health had him stripping down to sunbathe. Heat didn't seem to make much of a difference. Astarion could load up the camp fire and Gale would simply sit further away. Telling Karlach that Gale had some fantastic stories that were best shared huddled close and giggling didn't work out that much better either. Gale did indeed have such stories but he easily cast 'fire shield' on himself and carried on like usual. Astarion had to escalate. They were all sweaty and miserable in the Grymforge yet Gale still had a white wrap loosely around himself. It just wasn't fair!

A plan was hatching in Astarion's brain. Though more of an ideas guy than one to plot out how to achieve the desired result, if motivated enough, he could devise something rather cunning, even if he said so himself. Gale was going to be topless and, because Astarion decided he was a high-achiever, they were going to do so many filthy things together. All because Astarion was a mastermind.

The stage was set. Astarion was by the fire with a cup of coffee in hand. He was perched the perfect distance away so the liquid was the ideal temperature to be uncomfortably warm but not scalding. Like the predator he was, he was lying in wait for his quarry to emerge from his tent. There he was. Sleep rumpled, robe barely tied yet the v of the neck wasn't plunging like Astarion wished it would.

"My favourite wizard!" He greeted jovially and approached, eyes anywhere but on the almost artistically placed rock right in his path. It was a tragedy that his good intentions of bringing his very handsome friend a coffee were dashed as his foot caught on the rock. Stumbling, Astarionreached to brace himself, only to send the contents of the cup all over Gale. What a waste of coffee. Of course momentum was a bitch and Astarion barely caught himself on Gale, hands on his shoulder and arm. Leaning in, Astarion smiled. "Oops. Clumsy me!"

Coffee steadily dripped to the ground as Gale regarded him, face moving from surprise to suspicion to something rather void of any emotion. Undeterred, Astarion continued with the plan.

"What a shame, that was such a nice robe. How can I ever make it up to you? Here, let's get it off you, don't want you burning yourself on coffee."

Hands tightly gripping the cloth, Gale was immovable, his robe firmly in place.

"Astarion-"

"I know. I'll make it up to you. I'll do anything you ask." Batting his eyelashes, Astarion leaned in to purr, "And I mean it. Anything." Once again, Gale tried to say something but Astarion pressed a finger against his lips. "I don't want to be here all day, loquacious as you are, I know you'd delight in sparing no detail of what I can do for you. Perhaps one day we'll indulge in that as a teasing foreplay. But I would like to get to the main act before the season changes. So I'll make it easier. You have three words, no more, no less."

"Anything I want?"

Purring, Astarion leaned in close. "Anything and everything, darling. I'm yours."

A magical darkness enveloped them and Astarion felt the shiver of a thrill go up his spine. He could feel Gale moving, shifting and clothes brushing against skin. Warm breath was back on Astarion's ear as Gale leaned in, robe now in his hands. The cruelty of not letting Astarion see the fruits of his effort stung. Still, Gale was about to tell him three magical little words that would change so much. A hand found Astarion's and the coffee sodden cloth was put into it.

"Clean. My. Robe."

[generalluxun]

Sort of random musingbased on an ask I sent ages back about Ladybug!Nino & Black Cat!Chloe but...

OK so i think their dynamic would be kind of an interesting but familiar spin on the canonical dynamic of Ladybug & Chat, hear me out.

On a default level, Chloe does the fighting, while Nino observes and tries to puzzle out the lucky charm.

Similarly, I imagine when first going out Nino was nervous as hell about fucking up, frightened of the danger and all too aware of the burden on his shoulders. Meanwhile Chloe was more "Yes, excitement, action, a chance to show I am exceptional, direct and simple problem solving!"

But this is also where the contrasts come in.

Rather than being directly encouraging, Chloe more just kind f goes in swinging on her own and Nino may even think like "OK she seems confident, she can handle this."

But then Chloe's more destructive side causes an issue cos she like, let's say only managed to erase Ivan's arm, not the Akuma, or Ivan all together, so now she's on a timer.

Thus establishing their early issues to overcome, Chloe her recklessness with her powers and Nino his fear of taking action.

Beyond that, as said I think there'd be similarities to canon.

We know Nino can be a bit "This is my vision" about things but Chloe's not going to be as "Game for anything milady" as Chat is. Plus Nino's "Vision" is a bit more... Flexible than Marinette's, different types of artists after all, while Chloe has a more demanding and commanding presence that cannot be ignored.

In this regard I imagine them finding some degree of balance and a way to cooperate would be the lynch-pin for their first major arcs so to speak with their early ventures being rather haphazard and chaotic.

Aye that reads as a good summary of their dynamic to me. There's definitely a different LoveSquare Vibe all around though. They wouldn't have the will they/won't they nonsense.

Cat!Chloé flirts not because she's in love, but because he's cute and flirting is an expression of power.

Bug!Nino isn't resistant due to a hopeless crush, but because he can never tell if she's sincere or not(she doesn't even know) and she's a bit scary.

Civilian side they butt heads somewhat, both being friends with one side of the adrienette mess(yes it is still a mess!) They do each want what is best for their own half of that ship, but blame the other half for it failing to sail. 🤣

Nino is more outreach in this side, and Chloé overprotective of Adrien. Nino parses her fear of losing/protectiveness and tries to integrate her into the larger friend group, and in doing so develops a soft spot for her ad he peels back layers.

Chloé is more avoidance because emotional sincerity is terrifying. Classism is still in full effect but it is very obviously a sword-shaped-shield this time.

Alya and Sabrina collab to work on these two which gives us the amusing(and unique?) double-layered 'two people working together to get two people together who are working to get two people together'

That's gotta be some romcom gold.

[ryin-silverfish]

Do you have any thoughts on the dynamics between the generals of the Zhou army? I know JinZha and MuZha are described together a lot. NeZha seems to spend most of his time with YangJian and TianHua (and I’m assuming Lei ZhenZi since they get captured/beaten by the same guys in a few instances). NeZha also seems to shift in personality when TianHua and TianXiang die, making a lot less snarky remarks and killing opponents much sooner in battle (at least in Gu Zhizhong’s translation). Just a few examples

Ohhh, I have a bunch of headcanons regarding their dynamics. But before that, some infodumps:

-Nezha and Yang Jian's close relationship in FSYY may be a result of the novel taking inspiration from the "Emperor Zhenwu Kicks Demon Asses and Takes Names" genre of tales.

-Basically, in those stories, Emperor Zhenwu is sent to the mortal realm during the Shang-Zhou transistion to subdue demons and assist King Wu.

-FSYY kinda makes JZY take over Zhenwu's role. And in Yuan Zaju plays, Erlang and Nezha are often said to work under the Demon-Vanquishing Mansion of the North Pole, which is led by either Zhenwu himself or Emperor Ziwei of the North Pole's Central Sky (going by the variant where Zhenwu is one of the 4 marshals of the North Pole).

-Thus when JZY gains Zhenwu's role, he also gains his two employees from Zaju plays.

-Since Jinzha and Muzha only become a thing after Nezha, likely to flesh out the "Third Prince" thing and fulfill the classic folk tradition need to put characters in groups of set numbers, on a meta level, they aren't that close to Nezha either.

As for HCs, brace yourself, because there's a lot.

Thoughts on the Chan Junior Dynamics

-The Nezha + Yang Jian + Tianhua trio is certainly the most fun dynamic wise. Sadly, Huang Tianhua always end up getting ignored in favor of the Jianzha relationship.

(btw, I really dislike the "Yang Jian is Nezha's mentor/surrogate parent figure" take. Like, Nezha's actual master, Taiyi, is right there, and though these two are senior and junior brothers, they still come off more as equals in terms of status and abilities.)

-Nezha and Tianhua always has that vitrolic best buds vibe to me. Like, it doesn't take much for Nezha to acknowledge Yang Jian as senior brother, because their first interaction is a pretty good one, and his impression of Yang Jian is this polite, but not humorless guy with some OP shapeshifting skills.

-Huang Tianhua, though? They are both hotheaded, prideful youths prone to impulsive behavior, who've butted heads in-story. You bet Tianhua has tried to pull the senior brother card before and gotten a load of snark in return.

-Yep, whether Novel! Yang Jian has a sister or not, he's gotta be pretty skilled at acting the unofficial brother and breaking up arguments before they become too mean and heated.

-Complicating the matter: both Nezha and Huang Tianhua have brothers who fight alongside them on the battlefield, yet these brothers are practically strangers to them.

-Huang Tianhua is…well, spirited away from his family garden by Daode Zhenjun at the age of three, and when he joined the war to assist his family, he learned that his mom and aunt were dead because of Daji's plotting, and he has three younger brothers he'd never met before.

-Nezha's brothers aren't complete strangers, but they are distant enough to be unrecognizable during Nezha's first encounter with Muzha (probably because they spend most of their time away from home and studying under their respective immortal masters).

-And considering how the Patricide Arc went, I'd say Nezha isn't exactly eager to know them, at least during the first few years on the battlefield.

Tianhua: "Wait, why's Tianxiang crying? I'm just trying to lighten the mood!" Nezha: "If my brothers find one more excuse to 'make up for lost time' I'm gonna brick them. Both of them."

-Strangely enough, their mutual awkwardness around their actual brothers becomes something they bonded over, and Nezha becomes quite friendly with Tianhua's younger brothers, to his mock contention.

-Which is my explanation for his angry reaction to Huang Tianxiang's headless body being desecrated by the Shang side.

-Interestingly enough, Nezha says: "He's your enemy, and if it's out of loyalty to your kingdom, decapitation is enough! What has he done to you that warrants hanging his body on the gate tower?"

-My HC is that he has more or less accepted the fact that people he knew might die on the battlefield just because Fate Says So, but isn't quite ready for the depth of personal hatred and cruelty war can inspire yet.

-Also, I feel like the Yang Jian & Tianhua brotherhood is just as strong. Like, when he heard the news that Tianhua had died to Kong Xuan's subordinate, he got pretty angry, if the poetry is any indication.

杨戬听得黄天化已死，正是：道心推在汪洋海，却把无名上脑来。

-It isn't enough to make him lose his cool in his subsequent battle with Kong Xuan, but it's probably the most explicit description of anger we've seen from this guy.

-I can see Nezha and Yang Jian becoming much closer after Tianhua's deification yet also feeling deeply guilty about it, like they are hurrying to fill in the missing space, further complicated by the "deification isn't perma-death yet the person you know is still lost" factor.

-For Nezha specifically: he is destined to be the Vanguard of the Zhou army, but for over half of the novel, he doesn't seem to have that official title, while Huang Tianhua does introduce himself as "Vanguard with the Formal Seal".

-Only after Tianhua's death does JZY give the seal to Nezha and make him the head vanguard.

-Like, imagine if these two have bickered about the vanguard thing before, and Nezha finding out that his destiny——the fated position he always viewed with a mix of pride and entitlement——only comes true at the cost of a friend's life.

-There's probably shared anger and guilt at not being able to protect Tianhua's remaining family, even though their fate is sealed long before the war itself.

-Which is how I read Yang Jian's most ruthless deed, when he tricks Zhang Kui & Gao Lanying into slaying the former's steed and elderly mother while they are attempting to execute him, for the explicit purpose of destroying their morales.

-Like, it actually gets a disapproving line out of the Ming annotator of the novel, who comments that "Those who are the nicest and most obedient are often the most cruel, too." (可见极乖巧之人，是极恶毒之人)

-It also happens right after Huang Feihu, his brother, and the other four future Five Mount Gods died at Zhang Kui's hands. Though Yang Jian rationalizes it as military tactics and psychological warfare, personally, I feel like an element of "an eye for an eye" is at play here too.

-As for Huang Tianhua himself? This piece of old rambling in JTTW Discord pretty much sums up my thoughts.

-Finally, Lei Zhenzi...kinda like Wei Hu, he doesn't get a lot of spotlight or character. But if you wanna expand on his personality, I feel like a potential point of focus will be his relationship with King Wen and King Wu and the Zhou lineage.

-Since he's born from a great thunder, adopted by King Wen (then immediately taken away by Yunzhong Zi as a student), and transformed into a fierce winged warrior via eating magical apricots in order to rescue his father.

-Not only is there awkwardness from meeting the adoptive dad and brother he's never seen before, but also the whole monstrous transformation thing——like, King Wen has 99 sons prior to adopting Lei Zhenzi, yet he'll always be the odd one out.

(His fellow Chan juniors are of no help whatsoever when it comes to learning about normal family interactions. Not that they don't want to, but theirs either have zero presence in their lives until very recently, or are exemplars of How Not To Family.)

-I'd love to read a story where Lei Zhenzi is trying his best to integrate himself into this huge family, during or after the Investiture War, and eventually finds out about Boyi Kao...

-Also, in pre-FSYY novel version of the story, Lei Zhenzi and Yin Jiao essentially serve the role of Nezha and Yang Jian in the novel: both are born to destroy the Shang.

-Novel! Yin Jiao no longer has that association, considering that his destined role and Patricide Arc get taken over by Nezha, and he is rewritten into a tragic betrayer instead.

-But I'd love to see adaptations that add in some interactions between these two sons of opposing rulers——the Thunderborn Child vs. Last Heir of the Shang.

-Both become monstrous warriors via magical consumables. Both oppose the Shang (at least initially, for Yin Jiao). Yet what Lei Zhenzi wants (a father, a brother, a family) is what Yin Jiao can never escape, and it ends up dooming him.

[rinsko]

my tenderness, my happiness, what words can i write for you? how strange that although my life’s work is moving a pen over paper, i don’t know how to tell you how i love, how i desire you.

born between grassy patches of four leaf clovers, came the luckiest girl in the world ☘︎ ݁˖ dilly, in the breeze of my twenties. occasional writer, multifandom and spoiler free!

this blog welcomes twentie+ friends only, frequently runs on queue most days rather than not. currently fixated on love and deepspace, eternally tied to jujutsu kaisen.

all works belong to @rinsko, please do not steal ⋆ plagiarize ⋆ translate ⋆ ai feed any of my works. art credit here! poem from letters to véra. divider credit here!

activity + interactions

sometimes rinsko runs on an untagged queue (misc posting, occasional fics, and art!) especially fri-tues.. as these days are the busiest for me, i won't be able to answer asks and messages until very soon after. sorry about that (^^;) .. aaa!

twentie+ friends only. blogs that are seen as : under the age of twentie, ageless blog, or a blank blog will be . . ( blocked. ) mwahaha >:3c

on the days rinsko is on queue, posts will always be tagged by fandom + any necessary cw and tw added. feel free to blacklist or filter these keywords out for your own comfort.

general blog posting + guidelines

rinsko is meant to be a safe space for me! so yes, i do block very freely.. sometimes without much reason, but please don't take this to heart! i suggest you do the same, no matter what.

i'm still very timid regarding thought posts but whenever i do speak, it'll most likely be about suguru. and touya todoroki and my one hundred other villainous lovers, it is simply in my blood.

if you cannot separate fact from fiction + believe writing or liking a villainous character = condoning their actions irl, please do not follow me. i don't think that's a great idea LOL . .

i do partake in some sense of selfshipping! still very shy about it but.. #that's rly my evil wife fr. if you don't like that, also, please don't follow me. please, begging, crying. please. TT

how to use my ask box + how not

yay! sending me things you like and pictures of your pets or your most latest concert. links to your spotify playlist and songs you are replaying constantly these days. thoughts on my latest fic or silly things i’ve reblogged. anything on geto suguru. anything. anything. anything. and touya. anything! nice things.. cute things.. things that you think will make me lose my mind.. sort of things! yeah!! ★

boo.. pls just be nice and don't spam me. i don't care about discourse nor will i ever bring more negative attention to it. if it's serious, be respectful about it if you want to let me know!

[chrisnoelie]

For the fic ask game.. something about Joe and Ja’Marr meeting for the first time after Ja’Marr got drafted/landed in Cincy?

i was actually thinking about writing this! you read my mind 🙂‍↕️

so in joe’s pov, it starts off calmly. he definitely contributed to drafting ja’marr, and he’s proud of that. he makes a point to do something with ja’marr, like treating him to dinner, planning this whole thing out, getting excited to see his best friend again, in person rather than through a phone. and the moment joe actually sees ja’marr again, he freezes up. because maybe they haven’t really talked in a bit, and joe feels this sense of… panic? fear? as he comes to the conclusion that something is different. some kind of feeling just under his skin that he used to feel back at LSU, only when he was around ja’marr.

still, joe has the biggest smile on his face when he pulls ja’marr in for a hug. he takes him out to dinner and it’s like they were never separated, like no time has passed at all. and if they have a little to drink and joe thinks about kissing ja’marr, who would ever know?

as for ja’marr’s pov, he’s probably nervous, but wouldn’t let it show. there’s a biiiiiig difference in college football and the nfl, and he has yet to experience that himself, and on top of that he’s gotta move to an entirely new city. but he finds comfort in knowing he’s going to play with joe again, knowing he’s going to have a familiar presence around him, so he’s not actually too nervous. in this regard, i feel it’s more fitting to say ja’marr would already be aware that he has even the tiniest bit of an attraction towards joe, although he might’ve misinterpreted it as fondness for his amazingly talented quarterback. he has the entire plane ride to consider what he wants to say to joe, putting a lot of pressure on it. what if the year ja’marr took off affected the way he plays in training camp, and joe begins to hate playing with him? what if joe doesn’t get to play the same way because of his knee injury?

but when he sees joe again, it’s like his brain shuts off. everything he just thought about on the plane leaves his mind, because he gets greeted with joe’s vibrant eyes meeting his own, and it solidifies the fact that he has a lot to suddenly figure out. ja’marr having a crush would be a massive understatement.

HOWEVER, i would also like to add an alternate idea where it’s an established relationship, and they were long distance ever since joe was drafted. both of them agreed to that because they somehow had confidence that they’d be able to play together again, despite all of the fear that it would never be possible. when joe is given the perfect opportunity to get the bengals to draft ja’marr, he doesn’t waste it.

naturally, it makes their reunion all the more emotional. joe kind of makes it embarrassing, showing up to the airport with a cheesy little sign when he picks ja’marr up. they don’t make any real public displays, but there’s a pretty quick kiss between them before they head to joe’s.

and there’s a moment when joe excitedly says “you’re here!” like he can’t believe they made it work, and ja’marr feels a little overwhelmed, but joe’s kiss grounds him. when they’re finally alone, ja’marr dramatically says he wants something to eat, and joe wastes no time cooking something. he’d rather skip the food entirely, he really wants to take ja’marr upstairs, but he settles for a few messy kisses while he stands in front of the stove.

i think it would end up being a combination of hesitancy and eagerness when it comes to everything after that. joe hoisting ja’marr up like he weighs nothing, carrying him to bed, being as gentle as possible, feeling like he needs to be careful because they haven’t been together in over a year and he can’t help but feel a little nervous. ja’marr reassures joe that he’s still very much in love with him and doesn’t care what they end up doing. they inevitably go for a few rounds despite constantly interrupting each other by how much they keep choosing to cuddle instead. the night ends with one or both of them watching the other, like they’ve got cartoon hearts swirling around their heads, just soaking in the moment. finally reunited, staying together like this, getting to spend every day together once again. there’s an unspoken sort of rule established between them that day, where they’ll do whatever it takes to stay together, both with their relationship on and off the field.

[tanjir0se]

Every time I think Sasuke’s clear and obvious homosexual obsession with Naruto might be maybe a little one sided, Naruto will do something absolutely insane like walk into his childhood room after two years, grab his dusty picture of Sasuke, gently brush it off, fingers lingering for a moment over Sasuke’s face, and lovingly whisper “Sasuke…I’m home…”

[flecks-of-stardust]

wholeheartedly and with as much gentleness as possible, i truly think there needs to be more discussion about downpour in the community as it is now. for a variety of reasons.

[lesbiansanemi]

My roommate did, in fact, quit her job

[ko-fanatic]

Continued from these comments:

Because it was getting too long and I wanted to include diagrams lol.

So, this has been rotating in my head all night, so I thought I'd lay out my own ideas for how this brace would work. Prefacing this by saying that, while I do work in healthcare, this sort of thing is above my official training and paygrade; these are more based on my own research and interests over the years.

If I were to say what I think it's like, "brace" is actually somewhat reductive. I believe it's a combination of a couple different treatments for spinal malformations/spinal pain. The first being vertebrae fusion, but with a more modified, external component. (See below)

I wouldn't be surprised if there's something like a Spinal Cord Stimulator included, but there's absolutely no canon evidence for this.

So this wouldn't actually be removable. When something is screwed into so much bone, and so close to so many nerves, you don't really want to mess with them.

The other component being the brace piece itself. It seems to be made of a few different materials: metal, some kind of stiff yet flexible fabric, and leather. Of course, the fabric is what's next to Viktor's skin, which makes sense because it'd need to be washed to prevent heat/sweat rashes (speaking from experience), as well as the skin itself. Which brings me to these:

They're clasps, from what I can see, which implies that everything bar the reinforcement on the spinal column can be unclipped and removed. I actually did a trial run with my own back, and I can reach and do the motion to clip/unclip them in this position. (I am hypermobile in all the joints in my shoulders and arms though, so I may have an advantage)

In regards to the front, there's more screws in his sternum, probably in an effort to distribute some of the pressure and provide even more support. We also see these (sorry for the quality lol):

Some more delicate clasps that can be undone in the front. They don't need to be as bulky as the ones in the back, which look like they're undone with a circular motion; Viktor can reach them much easier.

The shoulder strap also looks like it can be taken off the brace as well, perhaps to make it easier to clean, or to give Viktor the option whether to use it or not.

So, to reiterate: When removed, he'd still have the plates up his back and breastbone, but the side panels can be taken off and put back on for hygiene/to give his skin and muscles a break.

So do we think that Viktor made his own back brace or do we think that is something that was fitted by a physician? It's obvious he had some type of surgery.