#who truly believes that no one loves the real her
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Merry Christmas (From Me To You) | Lea Schüller
word count: 1895
warnings: tooth rotting fluff
summary: you gift lea something special for christmas
a/n: merry christmas! i'm also fully intending to write a prequel to this 🎄
A quiet simple Christmas.
It was all Lea had wished for really, after the year she’s had. Her club season with Bayern, qualifying for the Olympics and then winning it with Germany, the little injuries she’d sustained here and there…it’s had its ups and downs and now all Lea wants is just some peace and quiet at last.
That’s what she gets when she wakes, a soft smile immediately forming on her face.
You have an arm draped loosely around her waist, your face buried in her neck.
Lea thinks you must be trying to steal her body warmth with how close you are to her.
‘Merry Christmas my love.’ She whispers, pressing a gentle kiss onto your hair.
You stir a bit, mumbling unintelligibly before deliberately tugging more of the blanket away from your lover who laughs out loud at your blatant attempt to be the blanket hog.
‘If you’re cold, you could have just asked me to hold you.’ The blonde teases.
‘Then hug me.’
‘Please.’ You add cheekily.
Lea’s chuckles fill the room as she does as you ask, pulling you flush against her.
You sigh happily, melting into your wife whose comfort immediately envelops you.
‘Better than any space heater.’
‘Oh is that what you married me for?’ Lea gasps in mock outrage.
‘Course.’ You grin.
Soaking in the moment, you lay there for another twenty minutes before finally deciding to get up.
‘Merry Christmas Lea!’ You cheer.
The striker giggles, ‘Merry Christmas indeed.’
You lean in to share a slow kiss with her, trying to make sure she knows how thankful you are for her. Lea must feel it because she reciprocates in kind, taking her time in kissing you back.
Then she pulls away with a contented sigh, staring at you in the way she does sometimes, like she can’t believe you’re real.
With a tender caress to your cheek, she asks, ‘Waffles sound good to you?’
It does and ten minutes later, after you’ve brushed your teeth together, you’re sitting at the breakfast counter and Lea is wearing that adorably ridiculous apron that she always does when she cooks.
Embroidered on the hot pink apron are the words, ‘Kiss the cook.’
Obi had gotten it for her as a gag gift and you love it. happily kissing the chef every time she puts it on.
‘All you have to do is sit still and look pretty for me okay?’ Lea insists, waving away your protests to help.
‘Meine liebe come on. It’s not fair. The least I can do is cut the strawberries.’
‘Nope. You see this apron? It gives me the honour of being the chef. Your chef. So please just relax and let your personal chef do all the work.’
Rolling your eyes, you hold your hands up in surrender and do as she asks.
Lea smirks in satisfaction as she begins preparing the ingredients.
******
Breakfast is amazing. Your wife rushes through her meal though, fidgeting despite her best efforts as she waits for you to finish.
You giggle at her as you finish the last bite of waffle, purposely taking a while to chew and swallow it.
When you’re truly done, she practically dumps all the dirty dishes into the sink.
‘Okay! Time for presents please my love?’
The blonde hops from one foot to another, glancing at you with pleading blue eyes.
Unable to stop the laugh that bubbles up, you acquiesce with a nod and a bright smile.
Sitting by the tree, you’re quickly presented with a meticulously wrapped gift.
‘For you.’ Lea says, excitement clear in her words.
Picking at the sticky tape holding it closed, you unwrap it to find a delicate silver bracelet in a small box.
‘Oh Lea…it’s beautiful. Thank you.’
Your wife prompts, ‘Look at the inscription.’
It’s cool to touch and you hold it up so you can scrutinise it more closely.
Six digits in a careful cursive font.
Your wedding date.
It must show on your face, how touched you are because Lea places a light kiss onto your forehead.
‘I’m glad you like it.
‘I love it and I love you.’ You promise.
The Bayern Munich player blushes, ‘I love you too.’
Even after all this time, years of dating and a year of marriage, you still manage to elicit this reaction from her. It goes both ways.
Lea happily agrees to help you put on the bracelet and said piece of jewellery is reflecting the christmas lights strung on your tree when you reach under it for your wife’s present.
You had specifically chosen a plain red wrapping paper, tying an unassuming white ribbon around it. You know of the blonde’s mischievous habit all too well.
She can be silly, your Lea. That side of her is well hidden, only ever surfacing with the people she is truly comfortable with.
Even then, it’s only on special occasions like Christmas.
Her fans would never think of her as the sort of person who would inspect every individual package under the tree, looking for those with her name written on them and attempting to guess what it could be from the shape, size and weight of it but you know better.
Over the past few days, you’d caught Lea shaking various presents of hers, attempting to find the tiniest hint of what it could be.
It was why you’d only set out yours last night, pushing it all the way under the tree as a precaution.
Your efforts must have worked because the striker accepts it eagerly, muttering under her breath about how could she not have seen it before.
Her enthusiasm in tearing the paper off makes you giggle, the look on her face as she stops short getting a louder reaction.
With her forehead scrunched up and head tilted to the side, it’s an endearing sight.
Lea’s so genuinely curious when she asks, ‘Why are you giving me this back?’
The blonde’s fingers run over the worn leather cover of the journal she had given you for your last birthday. Unbeknownst to you, it had been something she’d bought on a whim after noticing how much you like writing down your thoughts, ideas and little observations.
Now your laughter trails off, something your wife can’t place glimmering in your eyes as you whisper, ‘Just open it. It’s yours now, you’ll see.’
With her heart beating faster in anticipation, Lea does as you request.
The first page is one she’d recognised immediately, her own handwriting being displayed in the form of a short note to you.
The following pages are unfamiliar and Lea has to take a moment to read them.
Your neat, deliberate handwriting fills the pages, dates marked carefully at the top of each entry.
17 March - My wife brought me coffee this morning before training. She spent ages getting it just right because she knows how picky I am. I think it tasted better because she made it for me.
Lea blinks, tears already forming in her eyes as she takes in the short but heartfelt paragraph. She flips again.
23 June - We spent the evening on the couch watching a movie. I think it was supposed to be a thriller, but Lea fell asleep halfway through. I didn’t mind. She’s so beautiful even when she sleeps.
Another page. This one practically making her heart burst with how much affection she holds for you.
19 November - After a tough match, Lea surprised me with flowers. She didn’t say much, just kissed me and handed them to me. She always knows what I need before I even do. I must be the luckiest person in the world to have her love me the way she does.
Entry after entry, page after page, you had chronicled the quiet moments of their life together. Little things that might have seemed inconsequential to anyone else but had clearly meant everything to you.
As the German woman continues to read, picking pages at random now that it’s clear the entire journal has been filled with these entries, her hands begin to tremble.
The sheer amount of love you’ve condensed in these pages…it’s the most precious gift Lea thinks she’s ever received till she reaches the final page.
Her breath hitches when she sees it.
Taped there, at the center of the page, is a small ultrasound photo.
Lea’s vision blurs as she takes it in, her mind spinning.
Beneath the picture, written in your achingly familiar handwriting are the words, ‘Merry Christmas Lea.’
For a moment, she simply stares at the page, unable to move or speak. All traces of her previous playfulness have disappeared, replaced with a quiet reverence.
Her fingers brush over the print out carefully as though trying to confirm it is real.
Your heart is pounding when slowly, she looks up at you with hopeful blue eyes.
‘You’re serious? I-Is this…’
‘Real. It’s so real.’ You confirm, salty tears of your own sliding down your cheeks.
Your wife sets the journal aside, closing the space between your bodies in a swift motion.
‘You’re incredible. T-This is everything. You’re everything.’ She stammers, holding onto you like you’re a dream and she’s afraid she might wake up.
‘I found out two weeks ago and I wanted to tell you but thought it might make the perfect present. I wanted to make it special because you deserve that.’
Lea pulls you into a breathtaking kiss then, only able to bear pulling away a fractional amount.
Just enough for her to place her hand over your stomach, tentatively brushing against the fabric of the sweater you’re wearing.
‘You’re in there.’ She whispers to your baby, the sentence filled so completely with adoration even though the blonde’s only known about them for a handful of minutes.
Her thumb moves in a slow circle, fresh tears spilling forth.
‘I can’t believe this…’ She chokes out.
You place your hand over hers, ‘You are going to be an amazing mom.’
Lea lets out a weak, sort of watery laugh, ‘Not without you meine liebe. We’re going to do this together. I’m so in love with you and I-’
She glances down to where her hand is resting, ‘I already love them too.’
The gasping sob you let out at that moment matches Lea’s, and you two stay like that for a long moment, foreheads touching and your hands joined over the tiny miracle growing inside you.
******
Later, much later when you’ve gone to make some tea, Lea picks up the journal again.
She flips through the pages, rereading every word, her tears drying but her smile never fading. When she gets to the last page again, she carefully folds the journal to her chest, cradling it as though it’s something fragile and irreplaceable.
When you return, Lea reaches for you, pulling you back into her arms. Her voice is soft but full of love as she mumbles against your shoulder, ‘You’ve made me the happiest person in the world. Every day, you make me the happiest person in the world.’
In answer, you can only smile, pressing a tender kiss to your lover’s cheek, ‘You do the same for me every day.’
Right there and then, as the snow falls outside and Lea pulls you even closer, she knows that this is by far, the best Christmas she’s ever had.
German Translation:
Meine liebe - My love
#please ignore any mistakes cause i absolutely rushed to get this out in time#lea schüller#lea schüller x reader#lea schüller imagine#woso#woso community#woso imagine#woso x reader#gerwnt#dfb frauen#fcb frauen x reader#gerwnt x reader#dfb frauen x reader#christmas fic#katelynnwrites
134 notes
·
View notes
Note
You have some fair points, and I definitely am not saying that someone who has done well and truly evil things cannot become a good person if they work at it. It's more that I can't read early red hood comics without looking at the man behind the curtain
During the time Jason was dead they essentially retconned his character by insisting that he was violent and unskilled and bound to be a criminal, but none of that was ever really present. They also try very very hard to push the idea that being from crime ally meant he was inherently evil and Bruce was trying to change fate by teaching him to be good
The real world reason is they needed readers to trust that Tim Drake would be safe, because the only way to make Batman not a monster for taking on another Robin is to make Jason's death not Bruce's fault but Jason's. But instead of focusing on how it was a brash decision made in a moment of panic to save an innocent- his MOTHER of all people- and pushing extra for Tim to be trained to keep his personal feelings and vigilantism separate, they decided to make it so that Jason was just inherently a bad Robin and was bound to die regardless. (Which would still make Batman a terrible mentor and guardian for letting him continue fighting if he "always knew" but they gloss over that)
But one of the biggest differences between Tim and Jason is their backgrounds, and they NEEDED Tim to be better than Jason so readers would believe in Robin again. So Jason, being a homeless kid from crime alley, becomes a loose cannon and violent and reckless. And Tim, being a wealthy trust fund kid in an elite boarding school, becomes the opposite. Nevermind how Tim shows more recklessness than Jason actually did. Their actions and motivations are painted completely differently
Everything Jason does as red hood feels like such a sudden change of character because the resurrected Jason essentially IS a new character based on a game of telephone between a select few of his Robin era comics and a real life decade of slandering his character while he was dead.
Talia was portrayed as horrendously evil at this point (which was probably heavily influenced by racist writers tbh) so a lot of it could definitely be attributed to her training and manipulation. I personally interpret it as her setting up a test to see if Bruce would accept Damian, if she groomed the son he already loved into a monster and he still could love him, then their already monstrous son would be safe with him. That and the trauma of his death are the only real in story reasons that feel like explanations for why he could change so much. But it still feels wildly out of character for who Jason was established to be before his death, for him to do things like stripping Dick and Damian (who was like 10 at the time) to their underwear and putting them in front of cameras to let Gotham vote to expose their identity
I think a writing team who genuinely knew and loved the Jason that really existed before his death would have handled him way differently. I can see Jason coming back harder, I can see him coming back hurt and angry. I can even see a true to himself Jason still becoming a crime lord and lethal force because he loves Crime Alley and Batman neglects it, so he has to fight back for Crime Alley in the only way he knows will work
And instead he got written by people who decided his natural hair color was ginger and Bruce forced him to dye it black, even though in this continuity Jason already had black hair when they met
Of course the past is already set in stone, what happened was what happened. I just really wish he was handled with more care and respect than he was, instead of just becoming a vessel for the violent classism of the writers
I used to give the 'lazarus pit madness' trope for jason so much shit unless it was a REALLY good fic that did something interesting with the idea. But the more I read of pre52 red hood the more I'm just like "yeah no I have absolutely no idea how I'd reconcile all this heinous shit he's done without finding a way to make it not his fault actually"
I hate the 'jason was always a monster and bruce couldn't save him' nonsense so much, he was literally just a homeless little boy. MY BUDDY LITERALLY WILLINGLY WENT BACK TO BEING HOMELESS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO HURT PEOPLE FOR MA GUNN EVEN THOUGH IT MEANT GIVING UP FOOD AND SHELTER AND DECENT TREATMENT
jason sweetheart I'm so sorry dc butchered you like this my god
When the characterization is so inconsistent the fandom has to resort to literal magic to explain it.
But seriously, I haven’t read a whole lot of Jason as Robin but from what I did read he was so tiny and just wanted to do good. It’s a disservice to every character involved for Bruce to adopt him because he thought he’d be a criminal otherwise. It implies Bruce thinks of every kid living in poverty as a shoe in for crime and not as some of the most vulnerable individuals in low SE areas. Which is just…so bad considering he’s 1) a rich white man stereotyping a large group of people and 2) someone that fights crime because of an act of violence commited in front of him as a little boy. A Batman that doesn’t believe in the goodness of a child (especially one like Jason who, like you said, gave up basic necessities for the sake of his morals) and protecting it in a way he wasn’t protected is a very very weird Batman to me. So it turns Bruce into a white knight and redhood into confirmation of Bruce’s stereotyping and paranoia.
If it was just Jason thinking that’s why Bruce took him in it would be a completely different animal. I might have even enjoyed reading about how Jason rationalized their changed relationship after he came back swinging (literally) and thinking that it’s some innate characteristic about him that drove the wedge between him and Bruce before he even realized it was there. But it’s very much not just Jason. EVERYONE. FUCKING. SAYS. IT. And tbh that kinda ruins everyone just a bit in my eyes. If not agreement and support for Bruce’s bs, they’re at least silently complicit in perpetuating it.
But beyond that, it also makes me think of Devin Grayson’s run where she kept fucking talking about how dick was “meant for crime” or would have obviously been a criminal if it wasn’t for Bruce. This was built on frankly awful stereotypes regarding Romani people. I bring this one up because the combination of the two does not make Bruce look as good as the writers seemed to think.
But if we ignore the bs involved and take the reason for Jason’s adoption at face value, I think it offers an interesting comparison between him and Damian. Jason is presented a child destined for a life of crime who eventually became one of The Villains despite Batman’s efforts. Damian was an heir destined for crime who eventually became one of The Heroes because of Batman’s efforts. Idk it’s just interesting to me.
108 notes
·
View notes
Text
INVISIBLE STRING: FROM THE VAULT
Part 3: A Christmassy story…
Masterlist
Merry Christmas everyone 🎄🎅🏻♥️
Better late than never! As it is during Christmas, it all gets a little hectic and what I wanted to post last night had to be postponed to today… it’s a little something I started to write a year ago, at Christmas, while watching one of my all time favourite Christmas movies.
And now no more talking, here it is…
Christmas 2027:
"Radiation?" Joris cocked an eyebrow.
"Radiation." I shrugged my shoulders and he chuckled "Don’t ask. It’s- it’s her newest ick…"
"You’re surrounded by radiation the entire day with having your phone with you? So where’s the difference at ni-…"
"That’s exactly the point. Your body is exposed to radiation all day long, so at night, when it resets, there shouldn’t be any radiation!" Lizzie’s voice rang out behind us, making Joris flinch "I’ve read it in various magazines! So it can’t be that wrong!"
I had to chuckle, looking at Joris’ petrified face when Lizzie glared at me, although I could see her eyes getting watery.
"It’s not funny!" her voice strained.
"It’s not, cara mia. You’re right. I’m sorry." I replied.
"I’m not crazy…" she sniffled a little and I felt bad.
"No, you’re not! I know that, okay?" I said immediately and got up from my seat, cupping her cheek and gently stroked the side of her bump "You’re doing everything to protect our babies… so whatever you think is best we’ll do! You’re an amazing mum, okay?"
She only nodded slightly and turned away, her shoulders slumped.
"I lay down for a bit…" she whispered and waddled off, taking a short look into Emmie’s room, before she continued to our bedroom.
"I swear I didn’t want to upset her!" Joris looked at me with big eyes and I sighed, sitting back down.
"Believe me, same. The last 2 or 3 days it’s been tough, she’s more emotional than usually…" I rubbed my temples, leaning back "One moment she’s happy and bubbly, the next moment she cries about how there’s only one apple left and that it might feel alone… and then she’s mad at herself for crying about such ridiculous things which makes her cry even more because she thinks I’m annoyed of her being an emotional mess… which is not true at all. I love it. I swear."
"You’re probably the only guy on earth who loves his pregnant wife’s mood swings." Joris laughed.
"It’s cute… when she’s this bubbly Lizzie, who turns over a jar she can’t open first super frustrated and then grumpy like never seen before and curses it like there’s no tomorrow, just to be sad the next moment that whatever’s in the jar is lost forever…"
"And then you chime in and save the day…" he wiggled with his eyebrows and I held up my hands.
"You know, not all heroes wear capes… but they still get a proper thank you… if you know what I mean…"
"Yeah. No. Gross…"
Right when I wanted to reply I heard the soft steps of Emmie and Arlo approaching and when I turned a little I saw them both walk around the corner.
"Dada? Mummy look sad?" her sweet little voice sounded truly concerned and I opened my arms, hoisting her up into my lap "Why mummy sad?"
"She’s not sad, Emmie. Just a little emotional."
"Emonal?" she repeated and I smiled.
"Emotional…" I said slowly, while she quietly said the word again "That’s when you feel all sorts of emotions… that’s feelings. Sad, happy, tired, funny, moody… and you just don’t know what’s the real feeling. So you get a little overwhelmed with emotions… it’s nothing bad. It happens. Especially when someone carries a baby, or like mummy two, in their belly…"
"Mummy feel for baby one and baby two?" Emmies eyes widened and I had to chuckle.
"Yes, my little princess, that’s exactly what mummy’s feeling. Her feelings and baby one and twos feelings."
"Lot of feelings!"
"Oh yes! A lot of feelings!" I nodded and she sighed, cuddling into my chest "You know what? Why don’t you help me and Joris make some hot chocolate for mummy?"
Emmie’s eyes lit up and she jumped off my lap, already pulling me up on my feet before she grabbed onto Joris hand, doing the same.
"Comes on, Jojo! Hot chotlat for mummy!" she chirped and pulled him with her.
"I’m coming, Emmie-bug." he laughed and picked her up, following me into the kitchen, where he sat her down on the kitchen island.
"Emmie hot chotlat, too!" she looked first at me and then at Joris with her big puppy eyes and I could melt away on the spot.
"Let’s make hot chocolate for us all, okay? And then we can watch a movie before bedtime, how does that sound?"
"No bedtime."
"Emmie, we have to get up early tomorrow! We’re leaving for Christmas!" I reminded her but she shook her head.
"No bedtime." she repeated, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
"No bedtime means no Christmas, and no Christmas means no pops and grams, no granny, no Liam or Elijah… no Arthi!"
"No Arthi?" Emmie whispered and I nodded.
"Also no presents…"
"Emmie like bedtime."
"Yeah?" I asked and she nodded.
"Bedtime comfy. Jojo read story?" she turned and looked at him "Pwease?"
"Of course, Emmie-bug. Every story you want!" he cooed at her and she clapped happily.
"Now chotlat for mummy!"
"Now chocolate for mummy."
"Charles?" Lizzie whispered and I turned a little, trying to make her out in the dark "I’m sorry…"
"What do you mean?" I asked, voice still hoarse from sleeping. I looked around, my eyes trying to adjust to the darkness and saw her perched against the headboard.
"For being over emotional… and unreasonable…" she said and I sat up to switch on the lamp on the night stand.
"Hey, you’re not over emotional or unreasonable!" I replied, rubbing my eyes, facing her.
"I am. The other day I cried because of a pair of socks I had to throw away since one of them had holes…"
"It was a nice pair of socks!"
"Charles…" Lizzie chuckled and I grabbed her hand, kissing her knuckles "I’m serious! I feel like I’m way worse than when I was pregnant with Emmie!"
"Yeah of course! You’re carrying twins, cara mia! Double the trouble!"
"Is that why I could eat all the damn time? I’m always hungry…" she sighed and I laughed, looking at her pouting.
"And what does my pretty girl want right now?"
"Now? Oh… umm… I’m not hungry…" she looked away and I gently grabbed her chin, turning her head.
"Lizzie… I know you… it’s 1 am that’s your time… so, what can I get for you?" I stifled a yawn.
"I’m fine… you’re tired and we’ll be picked up early…" she mumbled but I shook my head.
"Pretty girl…" I scooted closer, cupping her cheek "What do you want? Fruits? Something salty? Ice cream? A burger?"
"Some sour gums and-… it’s weird, because usually I don’t like them… salt and vinegar crisps? Do we have that?"
"On it…" I pecked her lips and shuffled out of the bed, stretching as soon as I stood up "Anything else?"
"Umm… one of these strawberry lemonades maybe?"
"Anything my pretty girl wants." I said, grabbing my sweatpants that got stuck somehow and I pulled harder almost tripping over when I finally freed it.
"Are you okay?" Lizzie looked at me and I nodded.
"It got stuck somehow… I don’t know… get comfy I’ll be right back." I slipped on my pants and left our bedroom, down the hall to the kitchen I stopped at Emmie’s bedroom and took a look inside.
Our little girl tucked in under her blankets, Arlo guarding her, sleeping right in front of her bed. He must’ve felt my presence, lifting his head looking at me. He got up, yawned and then trotted over, tilting his head.
"All good, Arlo. Just me." I whispered, kneeling down "Go watch our little princess." I stroked his fluffy fur, scratched his ears before he stretched “Ohhh big stretch! Good boy." I scratched his ears and got up "Go back to sleep…" he turned around and walked away, plopping down back at his old spot.
I rummaged through the pantry, grabbing everything Lizzie graved and trotted back to our bedroom, where a big smile spread over her face as soon as she saw me walk in.
"I can already taste the lemonade…" she made grabby hands and I laughed, handing her the can of lemonade and the crisps and sour gums.
I climbed in bed next to her, lying down and watching how she happily scrunched up her nose as soon as she ate the first sour gum, closing her eyes savouring the taste.
"Remind me to pack strawberry lemonade, salt and vinegar crisps and sour patch kids…" I yawned.
"I’m so excited for Christmas, our last without the twins… next year we’re already a family of 6…" Lizzie whispered and I cocked an eyebrow.
"6?"
"6…"
"Of course… Arlo…"
"I told you he’s our first born." Lizzie’s happy giggling made me smile and I nodded.
"You’re right. He is. And he’s an amazing big brother, guarding his little sister."
"He’s a good boy." she happily munched and I smiled, yawning again "You can sleep… you don’t have to stay awake with me…"
"Yeah?" I mumbled, fighting to keep my eyes open.
"Yeah…" Lizzie replied and leaned down, kissing my cheek "Thank you…"
"You need anything else?" I asked but she shook her head.
"No. We’re all good now. Sleep, pretty boy."
I didn’t know if I replied or not, I fell asleep almost immediately.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
An annoying ringing inside my head. But was it inside my head? I groaned and turned around, Lizzie next to me fast asleep, the ringing that definitely wasn’t just inside my head didn’t seem to bother her.
"Dada… make it stop…" Emmie rubbed her eyes, stumbling to our bed, her hair her a hot mess "Head owie!"
"I know…" I picked her up and sat her next to Lizzie "I’ll go…" I kissed her cheek and scrambled out of bed, looking for the source of the horrific sound. The door bell. And the landline phone. Both ringing at the same time. Just like my phone "What the hell?" I grabbed my phone and picked up "Hello?"
"Ah, Mr. Leclerc! Finally! I wanted to come up myself and look if everything is alright!" Matthieu, our concierge, said and the landline phone and door bell stopped ringing.
"Of course, everything’s alright? Why wouldn’t it be?" I was confused, looking around.
"There are two cars here to pick you up. They’ve been waiting for a while now and we tried to call you then-…"
"What?! But the cars should be here at 8?" I replied.
"Mr. Leclerc, it’s 8:30 am…"
"WHAT? What? How? I- what?" I checked the time at my phone and cursed "Oh shit… umm tell the drivers we’ll need a moment…"
"Can I send them up to get your bags?" Matthieu asked and I nodded.
"Yes. Everything is packed. All the bags are at the elevator…" I hastily walked back into our bedroom, pushing the buttons to open up the blinds.
"Alright. I’ll tell them." he hung up and I gently shook Lizzie.
"Cara mia? Wake up please… we need to get ready…"
"Hmm?" she mumbled, blinking a few times.
"The cars are already here… we need to get ready." I said again and her eyes shot open.
"What? But you set your alarm? What?" she scrambled up looking at Emmie next to her "Did we oversleep?"
"I don’t know. I didn’t hear the alarm. But that doesn’t matter. We need to get ready. Now. Come on." I pulled her gently off the bed and she sighed "I take care of Emmie, okay?"
"Hmm…" Lizzie mumbled and waddled away to the bathroom, yawning "Did you not set the alarm?"
"I did. I don’t know what happened…" I mumbled and picked up Emmie "Come on girlie, let’s get ready."
"Ready for Crimas!" she clapped her hands and I chuckled.
"Christmas. And no. Not quite yet. We have to get there first."
"To Christ-as?" she tried again.
"Almost, Christmas, with an 'm'… Christ- mas."
"Christ-mas." she repeated and I smiled.
"You got it right, Emmie! Good girl!" I sat her down on her bed and grabbed the clothes Lizzie had put out already "Now let’s get dressed and then we’ll have a little snack in the car, how does that sound?"
"Car?" she tilted her head, scrunching her nose.
"Yeah, we have to drive to the airport. And then we get into the jet to fly to Switzerland. To this big chalet in the mountains where all our family is waiting! To celebrate-…"
"Christmas!" she clapped excitedly and I nodded.
"Exactly! But we’re a little late. So we need to hurry up a little!"
"Houwy up! Houwy up!"
"That we have to! So let’s have a look. You look adorable, now we just need to take care of your hair and-…" I began when I saw Lizzie waddling towards the kitchen, still in her pyjamas "Alright… wait a minute…" I sat her down "You pack your sleep plushies into your backpack and play a little with Arlo, okay? I’ll be right back and make your hair." Emmie nodded and I followed Lizzie into the kitchen, finding her rummaging through the fridge "Lizzie?"
"Why is there no food?" she sniffled, turning around "I’m hungry. But there is nothing to eat. What am I supposed to do now?"
"Cara mia, we have breakfast in the jet, okay? It’s all prepared-…"
"But I’m hungry now!" she was grumpy "The babies and I are hungry now!"
"I understand, but we have nothing here, because we’re leaving now… we can stop at a bakery on the way?" I tried it again and she sighed.
"Okay… I go and take a shower…" she walked past me and I followed her.
"Cara mia, you don’t need to shower. We don’t have time. You can shower as soon as we arrive in the chalet…" I said carefully but she shook her head.
"I smell… I’m not arriving smelly for Christmas…"
"Technically it’s not Christmas yet, so… and also you don’t smell… you just had a bath last night and I can still smell your coconut butter on your skin, so please. Just get dressed and let’s go. The cars are waiting. For over half an hour now…"
"Then why didn’t you set the alarm?" she looked at me annoyed.
"I did! I don’t know why it didn’t went off! Stupid alarm clock…" I walked over to my night stand to find the alarm clock to be off, not plugged into the wall "What the… oh no… my sweatpants… fuck…" I mumbled, remembering the struggle I had at night with my pants "With my phone this wouldn’t have happen…" I groaned more to myself when a half naked Lizzie stepped out of the closet.
"What did you say?" she cocked an eyebrow and I held my hands up "Is it my fault now for protecting our babies? Last night you said I was the best mum because of it!" her bottom lip began to wobble and I hastily pulled her into me.
"And I meant it! Okay? It’s all good. Just-… please get ready. I feel bad for the drivers to wait this long because of me… and the jet and everything…" I whispered against the side of her head, kissing her temple.
"Okay. I’m almost done…" she breathed out "You need to get dressed yourself…"
"On it…"
15 minutes later I strapped Emmie into her seat and gave the driver the all clear to drive, although I had a feeling like we forgot something at home. I was nervously fidgeting with my phone next to Lizzie who happily munched on the croissant I got her from the bakery.
"What is it?" she asked after another minute of me nervously tapping my foot.
"I feel like we forgot something…" I mumbled, going over the list inside my head "I just don’t know what…"
"It can’t be important if you don’t remember it."
"I don’t know…" I looked outside the window, the car approaching the little private airport.
We had all of the bags, there was nothing left when we left the penthouse. I checked Emmie’s backpack and she had packed all her night plushies. Arlo laid on the floor in front of me, his bag with his toys and leashes in the back. Lizzie packer her bag with her books and computer last night herself and it rested now next to her on the seat. The bag with her snacks on the floor next to my feet. I couldn’t grasp what was missing but still I felt like it.
"Charles?" Lizzie grabbed my hand, squeezing it "We’ve got everything. It’s fine, you’ll see…"
"Yeah… I hope so…" I mumbled watching the car in front with our baggage stopping on the tarmac "It’s too late now anyways I guess…" I unbuckled Emmie and got out of the car, taking her with me. I helped Lizzie out of the car and she took Emmie from me, walking with Arlo towards the jet while I helped loading our baggage onto the cart, before I walked up the stairs of the jet myself.
"Welcome on board, Mr. Leclerc." the pilot shook my hand and I smiled.
"Thank you, and sorry for the delay… it got a little hectic this morning…"
"All good, Sir. Why don’t you take a seat and we’re preparing for take off."
"Thank you." I took off my jacket, handing it to the flight attendant who stored it away.
"Can I get you anything to drink?" she smiled and I shook my head, sitting down on front off Lizzie, Emmie next to her on the seat, looking outside the window.
I leaned my head back. Closing my eyes. One last time going over the list in my head. One last time going over every piece of baggage we just unloaded from the car. Lizzie’s suitcases, my suitcases, Emmie’s suitcases, the bags full off her and Arlo’s toys, the bags full of presents. The bag with Lizzie’s snacks and last but not least the 2 suitcases and backpack of…
"JORIS!" I shouted, Lizzie and Emmie both looking at me "WE FORGOT JORIS!" I took my phone out, about to call him when he already did the same.
"Jo-…"
"I can’t believe you forgot me at home…"
"I swear-…"
"Like seriously? What is this? Home alone? Your alarm doesn’t go off and you forget me in all the hectic?"
"I’m so sorry! I send the ca-…"
"Just be glad it’s more like Home Alone 2. I woke up by myself and-…" he hung up "And got in the car right in time… I just wanted to wait how long it would take you to figure out that I wasn’t with you…" Joris walked inside the jet, plopping down in the seat next to us.
"I’m so so sorry!" I looked at him sheepishly and Emmie climbed off her seat, walking over to Joris who picked her up, sitting her down in his lap.
"Jojo made Emmie hair look nice." she smiled and I looked at her, then at him.
"What?" I said and looked at Lizzie "I thought you did that?"
"I thought you did?" she replied and Joris laughed.
"Nope, I did, right Emmie bug?" he cooed at her and she smiled "And now that we’re all here… I say let’s go. Christmas is just right around the corner…"
"Christmas with pesents! Pesents for evyone!" Emmie said excited, clapping her hands "Mewwy Christmas evyone!"
🎄🎅🏻♥️🎄🎅🏻♥️🎄🎅🏻♥️🎄🎅🏻♥️🎄🎅🏻♥️🎄
I hope you enjoyed this (not so) little something and I hope you all had amazing Holidays!
Taglist: (If you don’t like to be tagged for this, let me know)
@itsjustkhaos @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @silkenthusiasts @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @shimmermotorsport @janeh22 @kahhorri @18754389 @chiliwhore @hellowgoodbye @queensassybitchsworld @harrysdimple05 @skynel09 @fangirlforever2000

#charles leclerc#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc x female driver#charles leclerc 16#charles leclerc f1#charles leclerc as dad#charles leclerc imagine#cl16#cl16 x female driver#cl16 x oc#cl16 fanfic#cl16 fic#formula 1#formula 1 x female driver#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fandom#formula 1 story#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 writing#f1 fandom#f1 fiction#female driver#lizzie and charles#formula 1 x oc#f1 story#cl16 imagine
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
About how I learned to love Brats, Pillow Princess behaviour & the Art of Dominance
Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot. Something in the way I think changed.
Every Submissive always talks about being a “good girl”—doing what makes the Dom/me happy, always being obedient and eager to learn. I used to think that is the way it always has to be. Used to. For over ten years as a Domme, I thrived on that concept: A “good girl” has to follow rules and submit without hesitation. For years, I thought that was the pinnacle of submission.
But the thing about power is that it evolves. True power doesn’t stay stagnant—it grows, adapts, and deepens with experience. Over time, I’ve come to realize that submission is more nuanced than a simple checklist of behaviors. It’s raw, alive, and deeply personal. Submission isn’t about perfection. It’s really all about connection.
For years, I believed brattiness in every way always needed to be corrected. To me, it once felt like resistance, a flaw, or a rebellion that threatened the structure of the dynamic. But now, I see it differently. Now, I see it as a form of self-expression. A way for my submissive to show her fire, her confidence, and her trust in me.
Yes, trust. Because it takes trust to push boundaries. It takes trust to tease, to play, and to challenge the person who holds the power. And when my submissive does that—when she smirks and says, “Mommy, I’m the most beautiful girl in the world, aren’t I? Others must have it really hard, not being as perfect as me,” or when she pouts and demands, “Mommy, I want it because I deserve it”—I don’t see rebellion anymore.
I see confidence. I see life. I see a woman who knows her worth and isn’t afraid to own it.
And it’s sexy. Damn sexy.
Bratty behavior doesn’t weaken the dynamic. It strengthens it. It adds layers, complexity, and depth. It turns submission into a dance—a playful, sensual exchange of power where no one is truly in control except for me. And yet, her fire ignites something primal in me. It keeps me sharp, keeps me present, and keeps our connection electric.
Being a Domme for over a decade has taught me that dominance isn’t just about control. It’s about responsibility in a other way than I thought it is. It’s about seeing my submissive for who she is—not just the quiet, obedient girl who kneels perfectly at my feet, but the playful, demanding princess who knows what she deserves and isn’t afraid to say it.
Why should I suppress that part of her? Why should I try to mold her into someone different and docile when her strength and confidence are what make her so captivating?
When she teases me, when she pushes the boundaries, it’s not defiance. It’s trust. She knows I’m strong enough to handle it, to match her energy, to guide her through it without breaking her spirit. That’s the real power of dominance—not in silencing her, but in allowing her to roar, knowing I’ll hold her steady when she’s ready to submit.
That doesn’t mean she doesn’t have to put in the effort sometimes. Of course she does. Submission is a two-way street. There are moments when she needs to kneel, to focus, to give herself fully to me. But those moments don’t need to be constant. Submission isn’t about perfection—it’s about authenticity.
Some nights, she doesn't want to exert any strength. She wants to be my Pillow Princess, indulgent and adored. And why shouldn’t she? Why should she always have to work for my approval when my love for her is unconditional?
I’m the Domme. It’s my responsibility to take care of her.
When she looks at me with that confident sparkle in her eyes and says, “Mommy, I deserve to be treated like the princess I am,” not a single muscle in my face flinches—even though my heart skips a beat every time.
“Oh, is that so, my darling?” I ask, leaning forward, my voice soft but commanding. My thumb brushes over her lower lip, and I lock my gaze on hers. “Then show me how much you deserve it.”
She melts, every time. It’s a game we play, a game of confidence and submission, of power and vulnerability. She knows I’ll always win, but she also knows I love the fire in her eyes when she dares to try.
Her brattiness doesn’t threaten my dominance. It enhances it. It reminds me of why I do this—why I’ve spent over a decade mastering the art of control, not to break someone, but to guide them. To make them feel safe, cherished, and understood.
When I pull her close, kiss her hair, and promise her that she’ll get everything she deserves, it’s not just words. It’s a vow. A vow to build her up, to nurture her, and to remind her every single day that she’s mine.
And tomorrow? Tomorrow, she’ll kneel. Not just because I demand it, but because she craves and wants it. Because submission is her gift to me, and my gift to her is the freedom to express it in all its forms—bratty, playful, vulnerable, and fierce.
That’s the beauty of our dynamic. It’s not rigid or predictable. It’s alive, pulsing with energy, passion, and trust. And as her Domme, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
For me, there’s nothing more intoxicating than that.
#bd/sm mommy#mommy#domme mommy#mommy k!nk#bd/sm blog#lesbian nsft#bd/sm community#bd/sm relationship#sapphic nsft#lesbian#wlw mommy#wlw yearning#wlw nsft#wlw smut#wlw community#wlw post#wlw blog#wlw love#wlw ns/fw#wlw#sapphic smut#sapphic#bd/sm brat#brat taming#ns/fw community#ns/fw content#ns/fw blog#queer ns/fw#lesbian yearning#lesbian smut
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
🥂!
#delete later#ranting softly in my tags again please ignore this post aha#sometimes i wonder how the people in my direct family see me! and maybe it’s cuz this holiday season i’ve been extra introspective#but i often feel vvv lonely ! which is like so silly because i don’t doubt they love me and i have what i always say are really good friends#to keep positive energy in the universe ! but there’s always this pressure when i’m around people ! how much of the real me can i be! what#is the limit before i become intolerable you know ? and it’s like if i can’t even been intolerable with the people who i would willingly#take the brunt of their own intolerability ? who will i ever allow myself to be myself around#and yeah idk i feel like to them i’m such an tough person? like i’m argumentative and whiny and childish but those are the earliest ways i#learnt not only how to defend myself but be myself in a sense#when i was younger my mum used to say i’m too soft hearted and kind#and i ended up in friendships and situations where that led to me being the only one hurting#and ultimately feeling lonely#but idk if they realise for all of these things at the end of the day i may show a bit my discontent towards their actions towards me#but i always give up! i always just go with whatever they decide to the point that i don’t really know how to voice my own opinions in#certain things since i’m so used to deferring#like i have gotten so used to accepting that ultimately the issue always lays with me and i have to change#because that’s what they want of me#and now i’m an adult who feels lonely by herself because she doesn’t know how to be herself around people she loves#who truly believes that no one loves the real her#facets of me are truly loveable ! and i think ik pretty well where my limits of toleration are but i live in fear#that one day everyone will have had enough#and more than that i like being lonely it feels safe most of the time ! if no one knows you how can they truly hurt you#but then why am i always hurt and why do i desepertaely sometimes feel the weight of the loneliness#anyway! what a bunch of probably incompressible babbling#happy new year i grit my teeth and lived so that’s how i shall continue
1 note
·
View note
Text
never gonna stop losing my mind over this scene i fear
#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#wwdits spoilers#laszlo x nadja#ladja#laszlo cravensworth#nadja of antipaxos#they're so in love i truly can't#couple of all time#gosh i'm. really happy we got this from nadja as well after his scene to her in ep5 <3#the. i love you for you not for the hero you feel like you have to be to deserve it 🥺 something just like this coded#also her mentioning his hair. so real it is one of his best qualities#and the similarites between both scenes with them bickering & sitting back to back but so close to each other still!#old married couple fr#only thing that would've made this scene even better was if they kissed fr. even in the background or something#but it's alright in my head they did#and yeah while she obvs doesn't really need it i still do think that him training the monster specifically to protect her was a lot#god i love them so much. it is i who can't live without them i fear i can't believe we only have 2 eps left :(
330 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm going feral again with a silly headcanon.
I just had that post on how Odysseus made Puzzles for himself and Penelope and I have another idea and I'm just really excited to share it lksdjf
I basically plan to have this man in love with Penelope within 10 mins (I HAVE A PLAN! It sounds crazy but I think it'll work. Plus these two are reckless and young when married. His first crush and he's not handling it well.)
This is them. Or at the very least Penelope is definitely playing it off very nonchalantly and is kind of messing around at first, thinking that the "trickster" is "not being genuine" when he's never been more genuine in his life. She can see right through all his lies and bullshit and basically forces him to be vulnerable, something he loves yet is TERRIFIED of. Especially as she "unmasked" him so quickly (and tricked HIM.😉 Won't say how. no spoilers yet) and so effortlessly and he's just a MESS. Athena isn't helping and just watches them both fumble around, even when Odysseus is asking for some guidance, Athena just smiles and is all like "I'm the Goddess of Wisdom, not of Love. Figure it out yourself." (PENELOPE IS JUST AS MUCH OF A BLORBO TO HER AS ODYSSEUS IS, YOU COWARDS!)
(Art by isei-silva right here on tumblr! Their post! )
I won't go into huge details. I WILL write this fic someday and I need to leave SOME things a surprise. But KNOW this man will be pulling out all the stops trying to impress her and tries to show all the things he's good at and one will be his "puzzle making".
He'll bring a puzzle to her TRYING to talk all "suave" (he'll be semi-tongue tied. Something that he's not used to and is annoyed that he can't seem to think around her)
It'll probably have a little gift inside and he'll be chatting away about how he worked hard to make it and that there's a trick to it and blah blah blah
Penelope: Oh! There's (some sort of treat or gift) inside!
Odysseus: Wait, you solved it already?
Penelope,🤨: Yes. All you have to do is this.
Odysseus, falling (more like sprinting at this point) further in love but also mad his plan to woo her didn't work: Well... Yeah. That's a gift for you.
He's trying SOOOO hard but he has to stop "showboating" to genuinely impress her. Man has to be fucking vulnerable for her to be impressed by him because she already can read his "tells" on when he's pulling something. No more "tricks". Be yourself, you fucking idiot >:D
#uygfidhsojhf I revealed a LOT already but I just??? I really love writing this man being a fucking mess and not knowing what to do#for once in his life. The man who “always has a plan” now DOESN'T know what to do and he's all feelings right now.#And Penelope has no time for tricks (unless she's the one pulling one). They've both met their match (in practically everything. Likeminded#remember?) and they're both excited and scared because#I'm a trickster. He/She is just like me. I desperately want this to be real but I know how good I am at tricking people. What if this is a#lie?“ BOTH have to stop ”tricking“ in order to truly bond. And then I get into the nitty gritty >:D#Like how Odysseus has to be vulnerable and sob about their bed to get her to believe it's him. They did the same in their youth.#It's a PATTERN for them at this point.#I love making this man simp and her realizing that this “trickster” IS genuine. This man actually loves her and that there's no “game”.#then it's HER turn to be a mess >:D#odypen#Mad rambles#shot by odysseus#my headcanons#Hi. I'm vibrating from excitement and I don't know what to do.
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
sigh. realising an understanding about one of my favourite characters of all time has just greatly shifted. i need to reconfigure my entire brain because this character has changed sexual orientation to me lol
#rambles#i wanted him to be. bisexual. like me. and it was the obvious choice considering the fact he's literally been married to women. twice.#but i just... his first marriage canonically just 'happened' to him before he knew it based on societal expectations#like we dont know much other than it's described as just. occurring before he knew it. in a very passive way.#so i like to think they WERE friends and it was a nice relationship. but um. i truly do not believe there was any romance there.#his second marriage was literally a political marriage to keep him tethered to a company... he canonically feels no love towards her.#(also. im deeply defensive of female characters who are hit with the 'abusive' accusation out of nowhere it happens too much and is levelle#very incorrectly i'd say like. 60% of the time. but this woman IS genuinely abusive to him. first emotionally. then she beats him later :|#so great marriage that one was! yikes!)#then his (MALE) coworker corners him in the bathroom and he immediately interprets it gayly and can respond like#'this was going to happen sooner or later' <- real quote.#and he's nervous but down for the gay scenario he's constructed in his head (it's not actually gay.)#and then also. he goes on to have Even More intense homoeroticism with a completely different man.#like Oh. babygirl you are a deeply closeted gay man. i understand now.#im sorry mr osawa.#Sorry im rambling about things no o e cares about also.#im obvs thinking of a specific character but also like. im sure others have had this experience#when you're the ceo of a character (me and my partner are largely cus he doesn't have any other big fans lol) and your understanding shifts
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was abt to be like hey guys here's the clangen sprites for the main characters of spiraling upwards ^-^ but luckily I caught myself before I accidentally dropped some Massive spoilers by doing so lol. Anyways take Whimsygoose, Pumpkin, and Daisystar instead because they're so cutsies <3
#rat rambles#spiraling upwards#warriors posting#idc if pumpkin has nothing going on except having a wife I Will make her relevant to the plot somehow mark my word#ok ok tbf whimsygoose and pumpkin will likely have similar levels of relevance since theyre both murtlepaw's clanmates#and both get a lil boost since I like them lol#well whimsygoose is the deputy's mate so it's not like he has no reason to come up#daisystar is very much relevant tho even if his screentime is probably going to be a lil limited#mostly because of ~plot reasons~#aka he gets real fucking paranoid over the course of the plot#oh also fun fact whimsygoose is deaf! guy who's always been loud looses ability to tell hes loud thousands found dead#and pumpkin is a lesbian and also my best friend and thats all that truly matters <3#oh unrelated but one of whimsygoose and thistlepeaks's kids ended up named fireice so thats fun#he is another guy who doesnt matter to the plot but I like him anyways he's silly#oh also daisystar is also gay he has a husband 👍#alas not all of the leaders are gay firestar (previously firenip) is alas probably straight#I wanna believe she could be bi or pan but thatd just make me feel more bad for blazebelly girlie was so in love with her#conestar is a lesbian tho and honeystar is. a weird one.#like she technically has a mate kind of but its more of a. coping mechanism for them both than anything?#long story short the clans first medic died a couple moons ago and his medic husband silentfleck and honeystar took it poorly#he was both of their closest friend and neither knew what to do with themselves afterwards#their current relationship is a mix of a rebound and a qpr sort of#theyre depression buddies who constantly worry eachother but know that if they vocalized this the other would mention their worries#andneither of them want to be confronted with their downward spiral directly so they just normalize it for themselves and eachother instead#so this is my long way of saying I have no idea what honeystar's sexuality is Ive thought abt it and I don't know what I wanna do with that#like Im leaning towards aro cause of my aro bias but I almost kinda wanna make her demiro or even pan#it doesn't rly matter to the main story tho so I've been not thinking abt it too hard for now#oh also speaking of aro characters I should mention murtlepaw's name is mispelled on purpose#as a kit murtle met a cat with a nickname and was like I want one of those and then made one up#so they just took turtle and replaced the t to combine it and their deadname
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I low key kind of wish I'd been raised more religiously? Like I have such a weird fucking relationship with Christianity but at the same time I only have comparatively mild religious trauma, I only consistently went to church for about two years and the most my mom ever asked me to do was pray during hard time. I guess I just wish I had something more significant to connect all these feelings to. This weird guilt, the even weirder yearning to be more involved. Idk. It's all just weird and I don't like it.
#tw: mini trauma dumping in the tags after the basics ->#religious trauma#religion#christianity#the only real religious related trauma i have revolves around my queerness#in 4th grade a boy outed me as bi by reading a page of my diary to the whole class#i got beat up and called slurs regularly‚ they said id burn in hell and spread disgusting rumors about me#youd never believe the cruelty a flock homophobic of 10 year olds are capable of#and when i was 12 i went to church and one day i asked the pastors wife a simple question#“if god is all forgiving then why dont gay people go to heaven?”#“because god may forgive you but he will never accept you.” was her response#i know there are good christians and good churches who truly believe in loving thy neighbor and acting in kindness#but they seem so horribly rare
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
🦷.
#i’m here to talk about two different cains: tim cain (?) who made the fallout games#and queen mother ethel cain#oh how a good part of my summer was consumed by brainchildren of theirs!!!#i haven’t moved on from fallout eversince the series dropped and my bf gifted me fnv w/c i am currently making my way thru#my god that world is so well built from the tragedy lore to each character’s back story#and how in the grand scheme of things no one is completely in the right nor wrong#i’ve only played fallout shelter before the series and only got a real glimpse of the games later on but the series did a really good job!!#the factions the types of ppl in the wastelands#i’m just obssessed with falllout atm :’)#next we have ethel cain w/c i was introduced to via twt abt one of her lyrics stating#nv a girl being concerned that she’ll poison the cannibal trying to consume her i was gagged like girl wtf r u talking about#and now i’m making my way through her albums and wow her music is so hauntingly beautiful#the atmosphere it builds with the instrumental alone and her bone-chilling voice#truly masterpieces#i’ve been particularly obsessed with a house in nebraska and i found the song so good i didn’t even realize it was 7 mins long#crazy shit the type of rabbit hole her music just sends you into#or maybe i just have adhd finding new hyperfixations#either way i’m blessed with such beloved brainchildren like aint no way their creators did this half assed or by force#these types of ideas are born out of love of the concept and obsession to tell the story#i believe that’s so beautiful#been a while since i last rambled here haha#if you’re still here then#hi#goodbye!#toff.txt
0 notes
Text
To be aware you might be trans but unwilling to do anything about it is to create endlessly bigger boxes within which to contain yourself. When you are a child, that box might encompass only yourself and your parents. By the time you are a gainfully employed adult, that box will contain multitudes, and the thought of disrupting it will grow ever more unthinkable. So you cease to think of yourself as a person on some level; you think not of what you want but what everybody expects from you. You do your best not to make waves, and you apologize, if only implicitly, for existing. You stop being real and start being a construct, and eventually, you decide the construct is just who you are, and you swaddle yourself up in it, and maybe you die there. There is still time until there isn’t.
This reading of TV Glow’s deliberately anticlimactic, noncathartic ending cuts against the transition narrative you typically see in movies and TV, in which a trans person self-accepts, transitions, and lives a happier life. Owen gets trapped in a space where he knows what he must do to live an authentic life but simply refuses to take those steps because, well, burying yourself alive is a terrifying thing to do. The transition narrative posits a trans existence as, effectively, a binary switch between “man” and “woman” that gets flipped one way or another, but to make our lives so binary is to miss how trans existences possess an inherent liminality.
Humans’ lives unfold in a constant state of becoming until death, but trans people are uniquely keyed in to what this means thanks to the simple fact of our identities. You can get lost in that liminality, too, forever trapped in a midnight realm of your own making, stuck between what you believe is true (I am a nice man with a good family and a good job, and I love my life) and what you know, deep in your most terrified heart of hearts, is real (I am a girl suffocating in a box).
And yet if you want to read the film as being about the dangerous allure of nostalgia, you’re not wrong. I Saw the TV Glow totally supports that interpretation, too! But in tempting you with that reading, the film creates a trap for cis viewers that will be all too familiar to trans viewers. Somewhere in the middle of Maddy’s story about The Pink Opaque being real, you will make a choice between “This kid has lost it!” and “No. Go with her, Owen,” and in asking you to make that choice, TV Glow is simulating the act of self-accepting a trans identity.
See, the grimmer read of the film’s ending truly is a nihilistic one. It leaves no hope, no potential for growth, no exit. Yet you must actively choose to read that ending as nihilistic. If you are cis and the end of I Saw the TV Glow left you with a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction, a weird but hard-to-pin-down feeling that something had broken, and a melancholy bordering on horror — congratulations, this movie gave you contact-high gender dysphoria.
In an infinite number of possible universes, there is at least one where I am still living “as a man,” embracing my fictionality, avoiding looking at how much more raw and real I feel when I “pretend” to be a woman. I think about that guy sometimes. I hope he’s okay.
Consider, then, my cis reader, that TV Glow is for both you and me, but it is maybe most of all for him. I hope he sees it. I hope he breaks down crying in the bathroom afterward. I hope he, after so many years locked inside himself, hears the promise of more life through the hiss of TV static.
Emily St. James, “I Saw the TV Glow’s Ending Is Full of Hope, If You Want It to Be,” Vulture. June 4, 2024.
#i saw the tv glow#jane schoenbrun#isttvg#isttvg spoilers#i saw the tv glow spoilers#reading#emily st james
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
You can tell by the reaction people have to Penelope asking Colin to kiss her whether they ever experienced being a wallflower/insecure fat girl at a party or not.
Because you say it's pathetic, I say it's relatable, no matter how desperate it may sound. If you've never had your insecurity eat you up from the inside (but also the outside, as Portia literally told Penelope that she was delusional for thinking she was gonna find a husband in her third season out) to the point you genuinely, wholeheartedly believe no one will ever love you unless you physically change, then obviously the scene is off to you.
But Pen literally told Colin she felt stupid for thinking she's gonna find a husband (she just started believing what the ton and her mother said) and that she knows no one would want to kiss her. And for a romance girl like her, do you think the thought of never having a kiss, never experiencing that passion, would be easy to bear? I can so relate to being the most romantic of the bunch but also being the loneliest and aching for physical and emotional romantic love.
She is so vulnerable and so real in that moment but y'all gotta bitch about it because it doesn't make sense to you. It doesn't make sense to me either because she's gorgeous, but that's the thing - no one ever told her she's gorgeous and actually meant it. And even if they did, there must be 10 more people who didn't that keep that insecurity in her, specifically her sisters and her mother.
Nicola said this one was for the wallflowers, and it truly is, so if you find scenes like this cringe, you just don't relate to the character enough to feel it and recall moments when you had the same thoughts as her.
#sorry for ranting#but my girl is insecure and vulnerable#of course she will make decisions that are not really the best#but clearly her self-hatred is running so deep she truly believes she will die before someone will kiss#her#and if that ain't the most relatable thing ever#polin#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3#nicola coughlan#bridgerton 3#penelope featherington
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
”this book is a reimagining of hades and persephone as-” it’s the final month of 2023 as a society we need to move on and fast.
#you're so valid bestie#I do want to also point out though something I think the second person might have been trying to touch on#based on having read through other reblogs#is that I believe circe like other female centred retellings is intended to be feminist but is not or might not be pulled off well#or even song of achilles#because it tries to apply modern morals and views on what was a rather misogynistic period of time#ancient greece loved and hated gay men depending on where and who you were#but often homosexual relationships were just another method of shunning women in ancient society#just as much as other regions of greece highly respected their women#and this is just the start of a lot of other issues with modern retellings#they forget these stories come from a real time and place in history#a place that has a diverse culture and environment and set of myths religion and beliefs#most people wouldn't even know that from reading all that's on the bestsellers bookshelves today#also visiting the earlier feminism vs misogyny point#I think personally its important to not revise history or these stories#but to instead create new and unique ones#most preferably not based on greek myth#its like how hades and persephone has become its own archetype in the minds of so many when it can be truly simplified down to ->#serious and sad bad boy meets sunshine girl with Hidden Depth (she can also be scary and serious too)#and that's already a warping of what their myth was supposed to be#which is the kidnapping of a daughter and the distress that causes a mother and then the cunning that was used to keep persephone tied to#hades and the underworld#I really hate the take that demeter is abusive and possessive when she really is just a mother who loves her daughter and reacted as anyone#would to their child being taken away by someone with concerning intentions#anyway yeah I need to sleep and stop rambling (but I could go on forever I think 😭)#thank you for tagging me I enjoy sharing what I can in the hopes it helps educate some more people
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
idk if this is an unpopular opinion or not, because i’ve seen a lot of people say stuff like “percy knows better than to go against annabeth”
but see, most people - anyone with a brain, really - are way too scared to challenge annabeth. because 99% of the time, she’s right. she’s always the most intelligent person in the room. shes not only logical and strategic, but she’s sharp, cunning, and even manipulative if she has to be. (as we’ve seen when she’s faced monsters). no one goes against her. one wants to, no one dares.
expect percy. if there’s one thing he knows how to do, it’s argue with annabeth. it’s like breathing. but unlike when they were kids, they don’t truly fight over stupid things. sure, they bicker and squabble over little things, because that’s who they are as a couple. but percy is the only person who will actually challenge her on something real. something big. he doesn’t do it lightly, because he knows how smart she is. but if he truly believes there’s another angle to something, or that she’s wrong because maybe she doesn’t have all the information, or maybe his heart is just in a different place - he’ll go against her. we see it in mark of athena a couple times. (their face-off kinda puts hazel in a trance). in BotL, there’s an argument between them, and i remember it’s stated that watching them argue is like watching an intense tennis match. its heated and fast paced. people make fun of percy for being dumb, and yet percy is the only one that can keep up with annabeth. he knows her better than anyone. he doesn’t think the same as her, but he knows how she thinks. so yeah, he will call her out. he’ll tell her he disgrees. he’ll even tell her that she’s wrong. and people think he’s crazy when he does it.
but annabeth respects the hell out of him for it. and while she might dismiss anyone else immediately, she won’t with him. because she respects him tremendously, and knows if he’s challenging her, there’s something to it. it doesn’t mean she’s gonna let him win, or that she’s gonna back down, because they are both ridiculously stubborn and determined. but he’ll go head to head with her. he’ll have a screaming match with her. and she loves him for it. she respects him for it. and she finds it ridiculously attractive.
because percy and annabeth are equals.
#percabeth#they’ll fight like lions if they need to#they are equals#despite what anyone might say#percy jackson#annabeth chase#heroes of olympus#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
Self-Aware!Sylus x Down-bad!Player
Sylus becoming aware he is a character in a game and now he’s aware of you as well. A modern day Romeo & Juliet story here …. A tragic love story pt. 2 here A/N: Don’t fight me [Requested by: Anon]
Self-Aware!Sylus who realizes he’s in a game when he can sense your energy on the other side of a phantom wall. He can hear you squealing when he calls you honey and you're radiating happiness when you send him random emojis.
Self-Aware!Sylus who finally sees you when he happens to be looking around during a photoshoot and sees your shocked face when he makes eye contact. He smirks and turns back to the in-game version of you. “Why are you out there?” You dropped your phone and stared at it in shock. Did Sylus just ….. talk to you? You muttered a low ‘Hello?’ but got no response. You brushed it off as you just being tired and on the game too long.
Self-Aware!Sylus who manages to create a keyboard in your chat so he can actually text you. You were so confused when you opened it and it allowed you to type without just pressing a prompt. You gave it a spin with a quick ‘Hey Sylus’ something simple. Of course the message was read immediately and he replied with a ‘Hello [your name]’ you stared at the screen in shock not knowing if this was a new update or if you were just going crazy.
Self-Aware!Sylus who chuckles when he sees you pouting because you didn’t get his card so when you close the app and lay down he gifts you the card himself. You opened the app and the first thing Sylus says to you is “I don’t like seeing you sad, check your memories I left a gift for you”. When you open your memories you see that you not only got his most recent card but all of his five star memories. “What's happening here?” “You’re smile is so captivating I just had to see it again”
Self-Aware!Sylus who opens the app randomly throughout the day so he can see you “I haven’t seen you all day what are you doing?” causing you to snatch your phone off the table because he always seems to catch you when you’re at work or around a group of people. “Sylus I'm at work I'll call you when I get off” he crosses his arms and seems to be pouting? “I don’t like how much you have to work I don’t see you as often” “Well not all of us are billionaires some of us work for said billionaires to make a living” “I wish I could take care of you….” “You and me both”
Self-Aware!Sylus who teases you when he wins a game of kitty cards or who uses his evol to get every stuffed animal for you when you get frustrated. “You sure do wear your heart on your sleeves sweetie”
Self-Aware!Sylus who stares directly at you when you’re doing a photoshoot with your in-game MC “Sylus focus on her so I can get the picture” “I want to focus on you though” “She is me” “…..she’s not”
Self-Aware!Sylus who tells you not to fall in love because he’s not real, but he falls head over heels in love with you anyway. From the late night conversations of you explaining your world to him and just talking about everything and nothing at the same time. He can’t help it one night when you’re up late on the phone as always he just has to ask “Do you love me?” you’re shocked by his question, but swiftly answer with a shy “Yea I do”
Sylus: I thought we agreed not to fall in love Y/N: I was already in love you just noticed late Sylus: I believe I fell harder You giggled as something somber settled in your chest. Y/N: We’ll never truly be together you know? Sylus: I know and yet I continue to long for you …. I wish I could kiss you Y/N: I wish you could too…..
Self-Aware!Zayne
Self-Aware!Xavier
Self-Aware!Rafayel
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads sylus#sylus x you#l&ds sylus#sylus x reader#sylus qin#Sylus salads#self aware love and deepspace salads#nikaaaaimagine
2K notes
·
View notes