#learnt not only how to defend myself but be myself in a sense

[shijas]

🥂!

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

I believe brittney doesn't deserve the unrecognization but i want to see relationship hcs about her. Mc/Reader is stoic and stern but can be sweet to her, A type of relationship where brittney is somehow different around Mc (Stealing glances, daily ranting to mc, i just like to think sweet things being happen)

A Gyaru's Rhapsody (Brittney x Stoic and Stern! MC/Reader - Relationship HCs)

Anon, I hope you enjoy, had fun writing for Brit, and I hope you lot enjoy reading it! (“⌒∇⌒”)

Also I do agree she is underrated AF. >:(

Also dw y'all Jess loved Brit as a bsf for life in this. <3

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Rhapsody: an effusively enthusiastic or ecstatic expression of feeling.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were notorious for being cold and distant.

Hell, even Geo had deemed you icy.

Across the school people had learnt to simply not interact with you, because dear gods above did you master your intimidating death-stares.

Alas, the sole person whom you genuinely got along with, to everyone's surprise?

Brittney-fucking-Claire.

People were astonished, hell, she was astonished when you and her became friends (by your wish).

Usually she's the one who made the rules, who led the charges.

But she doesn't mind.

She personally thought you were intriguing, your personality was that of Geo's and Jess's smushed together, so Brit was shook when you went out of your way to talk to her.

After a while you join the group, becoming somewhat good friends with Crowe, Jess and Deryl while getting a lot closer to Brittney.

She didn't know why, but she felt a strange sense of security around you, she felt safe.

Unjudged.

Free to say how she felt.

You warming up to her - for reasons she still couldn't figure out - along with you being so oddly nice to her made her feel strange.

Eventually she decides it's not a facade and fully accepts your friendship.

Will start splurging all her gossip to you, you want dirt? Tea? Juicy deets? She's got it all.

Starts sharing her skincare routine with you (only shared this info with Jess so you better keep it secret pookie).

Soon enough you and her start going to facials and hair salons together, then do manicures and pedicures, then each other's homes.

Essentially you worm your way into her heart, and she's worried.

She'd not felt this strongly for someone in a long fucking time.

But...you'd proven to her repeatedly by this stage you were trustworthy...that you genuinely cared about her.

It slowly creeps up on her, the realisation that she's fallen for you, hell she didn't even crush on you, she fucking fell so hard she doesn't wanna get up.

She'll ask Crowe for information about you, and then advice.

He becomes a wingman frfr

Crowe will have to drop hints for you to confess, so when you finally do (btw congrats Anons, doing that shit sounds hard), Brittney just nods briskly. "Brit...I. Like. You." "Yeah, I like myself too." (liar) "Romantically. I...wanna be with you. Genuin-" "Yes."

When you both start dating, Brittney would have already been comfortable with you to the stage of being able to talk about literally anything (y'all love shittalking the nastier girls at Olympieus)

Also defends you from bullies, and will protect you if she deems it necessary (she always will, any excuse to hit those girls is a good one)

However, she becomes much more possessive.

Not to an extent where she'll restrain you.

She will simply fight anyone who dares try and steal you from her (spoiler alert, she wins)

When one of you is sad, you have an unspoken ritual to grab vodka, go to the others' house and rant, ramble and rave on about your problems.

Banger form of therapy.

Brit will also help you study if you need it, she's willing to take notes for you, hell, even tutor you if absolutely needed.

Will also give you #girlboss treatment

You both go out looking badass.

And you have the most fun ever. In short, you're both devoted to each other. And you're both more than happy to keep it that way.

[animeyanderetalker]

So you finished enies lobby eh? How’s ur one piece journey so far, and do you have any brief thoughts on the straw hats (so far)?

I’m giving you my honest review here because as much as I like the series so far, I also have my fair share of stuff I don’t enjoy.

I adore the world in One Piece. I’ve been a big fan of Pirates of the Caribbean as a child and I have always wished back then that I would see Jack Sparrow exploring all mysterious islands and finding all treasures. I got that with One Piece but even better. Each island feels unique and whilst there are definitely pacing problems at times even this early for me, I do love the aspects of exploring each individual island and learning about the rules, the environment and the life of the people calling it their home. I know that the Skypiea Arc isn’t that beloved amongst Anime fans but I really loved the arc due to the unique and interesting setting the island in the sky had. From its past to the inventions to the way people live in the sky, everything has so much personality and that has been the case with every major island so far. The sense of adventure and curiosity I always get whilst getting to know a new island is really addictive and I love the foreshadowing. The fact that the end of the Going Merry had already been hinted during the Skypiea Arc but was only revealed during the Water 7 Arc is insane and from what I have heard, Oda is great in foreshadowing and I’m looking forward to that.

What I find myself struggling with, and I don’t know if the Anime is partially exaggerating this sometimes, are the characters itself at times and the, in my opinion, lukewarm comedy that gets very repetitive and boring after a while.

Luffy:

I am actively struggling with the main character at times. Luffy is quite carefree, impulsive and does whatever he wants and it is not even that this is what I dislike about him. He has such heartfelt moments such as giving Nami his straw hat during the Arlong Park Arc despite the hat being a treasure for him or him defending the pirate flag of Chopper during the Drum Island Arc. It’s just that he sometimes is portrayed as so amazingly incompetent and stupid that I am agonizing over it. How can you get stuck twice within the same arc in between two walls and then spend episodes there whilst your friends are trying to save Robin?? Him being a glutton is expected, older Shounen protagonists just seem to have a habit of having a black hole instead of a stomach. I also still don’t understand how he learnt Gear 2 and 3 in such a short time considering that I cannot recall a time where he had time to properly train.

Roronoa Zoro:

I have very little to criticize about Zoro. Luckily his character gag of always getting lost isn’t something that is thrown into my face every episode so I can tolerate it. He’s a man of honor and I like seeing him on screen, but I’m still waiting for that one moment of him where I go from liking him to loving him. I also feel like he suffered in the Enies Lobby Arc from being paired with uninteresting opponents to fight against (Kaku and Jabra).

Nami:

I love and hate Nami at the same time. But the reason why I hate her isn’t even her own fault. As a character I love how she isn’t someone who is actively fighting and has admittedly not the most interesting fights but without her literally nothing would work. As a navigator she is irreplaceable and without her skills the Straw Hats would go nowhere. Her backstory was also heartbreaking but Oda seems quite skillful when it comes to writing a good and tragic backstory. The reason why I hate her though is because she has become more and more a victim of sexualization the further the story has progressed and I just know that it’ll get even worse. I have seen the pictures of her after the timeskip and it is so infuriating because she didn’t look like this at the beginning of the story. The freaking scene in the Arabasta Arc where she was sexualized from a camel and a crab was a different low for me because it’s the first time I have seen animals thirsting over a female character.

Usopp:

Usopp is a character I also find myself struggling with. On the one hand his creativity and his craftsmanship are to be admired. This is a man who invented Nami’s Clima-Tact and was the shipwright before Franky joined. On the other hand his character gags of being the big coward can get a little bit tiring after a while for me. I really loved the Water 7 Arc because it showed him in a much more serious light which was a nice change for once. And I am going to be quite honest here with you, I did not enjoy the whole Sogeking sequence. I understand that he was too ashamed to face his friends after he had left the crew but it got a tad bit annoying to me after a while. I was also not surprised that Luffy and Chopper were the only ones who didn’t recognize him in his disguise.

Vinsmoke Sanji:

I actually really enjoyed Sanji’s character when he was first introduced. I admired his ideology of not letting anyone starve due to his own experience of being stranded on an island without much food and the relationship he had going on with Zeff and the other chefs was heartwarming. However, his simp character has significantly increased since then to the point where it has gotten frustrating and annoying. I remember that scene in the Skypiea Arc where the Going Merry was kidnapped with a few crew members still onboard. And the first thing that left Sanji’s mouth then was that he was disappointed that Nami wasn’t in bikini anymore. I think that is the moment where I started not liking his character as much anymore and from what I have heard, it’ll become a lot more worse. It’s really disappointing in my opinion because he could be such a cool character but around women he is always reduced to a simp with heart eyes.

Tony Tony Chopper:

Chopper is adorable and I love his versatile forms he can use with his Rumble Ball. But I just wish that the show would actually give him more recognition because the 50 Berries he has on his head as of now and the fact that he was called a pet on those wanted posters is saddening. Because not only can he actually fight because he took down one of the CP9 members but he is the doctor of the ship and fulfills such an important role because of it. He is more than just a cute little animal and I hope that will be more recognized.

Nico Robin:

Robin is as of now my favorite character and I have literally nothing I can criticize about her. She is intelligent, her backstory is my favorite as of now and I love how her character also shows that it isn’t only pure strength alone that can be dangerous in the eyes of others but also intelligence. She was wanted for simply knowing how to read Poneglyphs. I’m also happy that she hasn’t been sexualized in the Anime so far and I pray to god that she won’t get the Nami treatment later on. I also love her dark and blunt sense of humor.

Franky:

Franky is incredibly likable. He is as of now the newest member of the Straw Hats so I have not as much to say about him but he is also a well built character with a nice introduction. The relationship he had going on with Iceberg and his past with Tom were well written and despite his rowdy experience he has a heart made out of gold. The fact that he took all outsiders in Water 7 under his wings and gave them a new home and purpose says really all you need to know about him and I’m looking forward to seeing more of him.

[c0rinarii]

Gonna recompile some thoughts about the 13SAR characters now that im past midpoint!

Juro: Oh its getting juicy.... unfortunately my boy is still as intresting as a plank of sheet wood but im intrested to see if his character goes anywhere outside of the Kyuta stuff going on. Im also sorry i ever suggested to u to make out with Kyuta.

Iori: SHE'S SO FUNNY.... I aspire to have even an inch of her whimsy and dedication to being so #normal. I too would like to confess to my weird as hell crush disregarding the fact he's a dangerous fugitive. Girl of All Time

Shuu: Frat bot facade is slowly starting to crumble and im here to see it. Uncover the truth, gayboy‼️

Megumi: I FEEL SO SORRY FOR U GIRL.... 😭 May you find peace in the future but its an overall shitty situation to be in. truly have her in my thoughts and prayers

Natsuno: I WAS SO HEARTBROKEN TO SEE HER WHIMSY FADE AWAY ONCE SHE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE KAIJU 😭😭 I love that she managed to maintain her optimism despite the awful situation she's been put in though. Still a joy to see pop up on the screen

Keitaro: HE REALLY IS A GOOD BOY... He's just trying his best and i love him for that. You'll save everyone you care about i promise [IMPERIALISM IS LYING TO U AND TAKATOSHI!! I SWEAR]

Takatoshi: Boys be fighting demons and demons is bisexuality. I enjoy him a Regular amount and i appreciate seeing his himboisms so much in the game. I never want to seem him That sad again [IMPERIALISM IS LYING TO U AND KEITARO!! I SWEAR]

Okino:

Yuki: MY PRINCE.... MY SHINING STUD‼️‼️ I love her a very normal ammount and seeing her slowly uncover the truth is nice to see. Definetily much smarter than she think she is.

Gouto: The fact that he is ong for real Ryoko's government assigned boyfriend is the funniest thing to come out of the game so far. He's still gated behind a huge completion milestone but so far i feel like he's trying to make sense of the situation the best he can. Unlike Tomi though, he's very scared of the circumstances of if he disobeys orders, i think.

Ryoko: She's been such a mood so far that i now think of her with her hands on her head when i stress about my uni deadlines. Im so sorry for Ida being anywhere near her life. She should get a wife to kiss and heal her. I give her full permission to kill anyone who breaks her heart. My snarky queen

Ei: HE ACTUALLY GREW ON ME I CANT BELIEVE IT. He really reminds me if the cool rivals with a soft spot you'd see in shonen anime and I cant be too mad at that. I enjoy how taciturn he can be too.

Nenji: HE'S ACTUALLY SUCH A SWEETHEART... knowing that he was childhood friends with Miwako really made me like him more (esp with how he treats her!) Loveable idiot.

Tomi: MY MUTUAL... OOMF IN ARMS... #GIRL IN LAW. Literally love how's she's written her personality is so so colorful. She has definitely said some out of pocket shit on twitter before and ill defend her with my life.

Miwako: I WILL WRITE YOU INTO RELEVANCY MYSELF‼️‼️There is so much oppurtunity to write her as one of the 15. LET THEM BE 16‼️‼️ HER "easy to develop crushes" SELF CAN BE MADE INTO SOMETHING MUCH BIGGER TO THE NARRATIVE RAUGHHH

Chihiro: I can see she's really trying her best to save everyone from the kaiju and seems to resort to any means neccesary to do so... i appreciate the effort despite the uh. [gestures] unethical treatment towards minors ig

Ida: EVERYTHING IS LITERALLY UR FAULT. I CANT BELIEVE IT. This would be half the disaster if you learnt how to sod it with ur selfish desires i swear.

Kyuta, Not-Tamao, 426, Izumi: I CLOCKED UR SHIT, SNEAKY BITCH. I dont trust a word you say. """"Means well"""" in the end i think but has way more messed up ways to go around it compared to Morimura

Miyuki: So far looking like the only person willing to help these kids in a way that would not give them severe trauma. Rooting for u girl.

[No thoughts on Tamao since i consider Erika as 426]

[kasu-m1]

Kasumi ♠️:

Basics :

-Name : Kasumi

-surname : Tenshiro

-age : 20

- birth date : 13 june

-Gender : woman

-sexuality : straight

Appearance :

-height : 160 cm

-weight : 54 kg

- hair : short, straight & black

- eyes : left : grey ish blue (scarred)/ right : black (minnow)

-skin : pale beige

-body type : rather muscular

(Here’s a some art I made !)

Personality :

- best at ♠️ games

- first impression : cold, distant, quiet, serious

- beliefs : doesn’t really believe in any god but believes in life after death

- fav color : purple n blue

- greatest strength : physical

- greatest weakness : social interactions (lmao)

- pessimistic realistic

- introvert

- skilled : armed and hand-to-hand combats

- unskilled : collaborating with others

Game skills :

Best at ♠️

Good at ♦️

Okay ish at ♣️

Least good at ♥️

More random details

- she’s ambidextrous (can use both hands equally well and doesn’t have a dominant hand)

- chews on fingernails (not really because of stress but she developed the habit of doing it)

- often cracks her knuckles and neck sometimes without even realizing

- high pain tolerance (this will make sense when you read the story)

- gives off cyber like vibes (kinda like the banner)

- she can analyze people quite accurately but when it comes to social interactions with new people, oof

- she’s awkward. And no not the “omg she’s so awkward cutie”, more like the “can look you dead in the eyes without talking for 38 mins” awkward.

- sarcasm is like a coping mechanism for her. Thing is sometimes it actually takes time for people to get it because of how serious she looks

- has a soft spot for cats but will NEVER show or admit it.

- she does talk more to people she considers as “friends”

- always wears a hairpin that her sister gave her (on the pic)

- the scars on her left and her right cheek are due to some street fights she had.

Lore

“You were an amazing person. Then you became my saddest memory.”

Before the Bordelands

Kasumi’s pov

I was too young to remember my parent’s divorce but from what she told me it was a hard moment.

Mother is mean. She doesn’t care about us and she doesn’t love us like mothers do, but she told me that mother is mean because she’s aching, because she misses dad. Even when he hits her. So she’s the one who takes care of me. My real mom.

My sister, she raised me and gave me the love I needed from a mother who didn’t care about me, about both of us. She played the role of a parent I never had and she sweet oh so sweet. I never thought so much sweetness could turn bitter so quickly.

One day coming home from school at thirteen, I expected the usual greeting when I entered my sister’s room. Her caring gaze and her comforting arms. But I got neither. What I got was her cold, lifeless body hanging from the ceiling light.

What happened next was fast and blurry.

I think I screamed, my mother entered the room and she was equally shocked. Police came next. They tried to talk to me but I wasn’t responsive. A part of me died with her that day.

~

After that, my mother tried to make things “right” with me. I hated it, only her death made her realize how awful she’s been ?

I lost what I cared about and I wanted to join her, but I couldn’t.

“…Kasu, live on for me. You’ll do amazing, or at least better than me at life. I love you…”

So I kept living by that line.

At 18 I got involved with the Yakuzas, I learnt how to defend myself and how real physical pain felt.

I was 20 then, when it occurred. The fireworks.

Borderlands :

3rd person pov

At first, she was extremely confused, and a bit panicked. But she quickly understood the way games worked.

Working her way through each games and soon finding the Beach, the Utopia in this cruel world.

Trouble was only starting.

She would spend most of her time roaming around alone in the beach. But soon came the time where she had to play a game to keep living.

She was sent to play with Chishiya since their skills were apparently a fit. She had physical strength and he had the intelligence. Their game was tag.

They won without much problem.

Relationships :

- Arisu : she finds him smart and fine to hangout with since he doesn’t speak that much. They both played games together and she finds him to be… useful.

- Usagi : almost the same as Arisu though she doesn’t speak with her as much for some reasons. She really admire her climbing skills.

- The hatter : he is… a bit too loud and weird. She doesn’t really like hanging out around him but she tolerates him.

- Aguni : she respects him but doesn’t like him. She tries to stay out of his way though to not have problems with the militants

- Niragi : she hates his loud self but respects him as a militant. She finds him to be overly annoying though. (Bonus : she sometimes wished to fight hand-to-hand against him if he wasn’t so crazy.)

- Kuina : she enjoys her presence. She surprisingly finds her talkativeness to be quite pleasant (probably because she doesn’t have to interact with anyone else when Kuina’s there). She considers her as a good acquaintance. (Also wishes to try and fight her someday in a friendly way).

- Chishiya : she feels… conflicted. She has trouble reading him and hates that stupid smirk of his for that. Even so, she ends us spending quite some time with him because she sticks around Kuina when she’s not alone, roaming. She doesn’t particularly hates him but doesn’t trust him that much. (Bonus : she finds his intelligence impressive but would never admit it)

- Ann : She is positive about her, she like the way she deals with the games and everything in general. But most of all, she loves her seriousness and professionalism in every situation.

-mun 🩻🫀

[lassair-crackle]

I have spent a lot of time working on myself. I would like to think I am a better person than I was a “decade” ago. 

I have learnt to be considerate. 

I have a handle on my temper, so I only unleashed it on people that deserve it. 

I have learned to forgive, others and myself.

But when my gut tells me a party member seems to only bring more hurt into the world…

She literally incited a wizard to get lost in the sauce. She knew that would only lead to madness; she knew that path would only leave to a lich that kills hundreds of people.

She has been isolated from society, so I get she doesn’t think/ have the same priorities as everyone else. I know she doesn’t mean harm, that she just wishes to understand our fucked up universe. I know we need all the allies we can get. I promised her father to take care of her. 

But we already tried talking sense into her. 

We have tried that so many times…

I am not sure how many more times I can bear to try diplomacy.

I wish I knew how to open her eyes to all the suffering she is bringing.

We don’t have the luxury to be defending or enabling this. There is a line, and she is crossing it.

I have already given up so much to fix everything, I won't let a selfish brat ruin our chances. 

I just hope I am not making old mistakes again.

[iwa-ch4n]

pairing; xiao x gn!reader

word count; 1031

description; xiao has always been adamant not to show weakness, emotion or vulnerability. you somehow manage to worm yourself through to him anyway

warnings; none, just some tender fluff with xiao

----

The calm, warm air of the Wangshu Inn enveloped you as you returned after a long day - well, two days - out in the wilderness. Normally, you’d go out for the day and return to your room in the evening, but you had been forced to camp out outside after a hilichurl attack left you too weak to walk and too afraid to venture further in the darkness.

But you managed to get back, and after fending off Verr Goldet’s concern at the cuts and bruises that covered you head to toe, you got back to your room to bandage yourself up and regain your strength, warmth flowing through you as you thought about the boss’s message to you.

“By the way, Xiao has been on the top floor balcony for longer than usual. I get the feeling he’s waiting for you”

No matter how tired you were, you couldn’t deny visiting the adeptus, who preferred to be alone and yet had only objected your company the first time you met. So you made the short treck up the stairs, finding him in his usual spot, leaning against the balcony railing.

"Verr Goldet says you've been waiting for me," you said as a form of greeting, and he didn’t flinch at your sudden voice. He never did. You often wondered if he could sense your presence, or if his hearing was so acute he could hear your soft footsteps approaching.

"I don't know where she got such an idea from," he responded, though not harshly, gaze still fixed on the distant outline of the mountains.

"You don't have to admit it, Xiao. I'm just happy you missed me," you laughed, slowly walking closer to him.

"I didn't miss you. You didn't come back last night, and I was," he faltered for a moment, barely able to accept the emotion, let alone admit it out loud. But he’d started the sentence now, so he resolved to spit it out, "worried."

You didn’t know what to say to that, so you simply leant against the railing next to him, meeting his eyes for the first time that night. He scanned over you, your slightly messy bandages, processing your injuries.

"It seems rightfully so," he continued, turning his head away again, "you mortals are so frail, and yet you constantly pick fights."

"I'll have you know the hilichurls were the ones that picked a fight with me. As well as the treasure hoarders I ran into on the way back," you defended, watching one of his eyebrows tilt up slightly.

"You got beaten up this badly by some hilichurls?"

If you hadn’t known him better, his tone would have sounded condescending, another allusion to human weakness and fragility. But you did know him, and you knew it wasn’t mocking; it was disbelief. You were a capable adventurer and fighter, usually finding no trouble in fighting hilichurls, and you felt a warmth in your chest that he acknowledged this, no matter how indirectly.

"I think I fought more hilichurls yesterday than I have in the rest of my life combined," you admitted, turning to meet his eyes. You watched every subtle flicker of emotion - worry, pain, affection. It always astounded him how you could read him like a book; he had spent millennia building up walls, yet it seemed you’d picked the lock to a door he didn’t know existed and waltzed right in. And yet, when you read him, you never read him aloud. He was not a poem or a play, his emotions not the story of a storyteller. If anything, they were a personal letter, one to read in privacy and stash under your pillow, replying only with your own letter, a look in your own eyes.

"Call me. Next time you're in trouble,” he managed, finally looking away from you. The image of you struggling alone against a crowd of hilichurls made his heart twist and bend painfully, and emotion he didn’t think he wanted to name or understand.

"I'll have you know I can handle myself fine on my own," you replied lightly, ignoring the sting of your bandaged wounds. 

"You could've died," he stated, but with none of the usual nonchalance nor anger with which he usually spoke about death. His voice was soft. He sounded almost pained at the idea. He was so well acquainted with endings, the mortality of humans nothing new to him, as inevitable and unimportant as a tree branch having an end. But you were different. He didn’t want to ask himself why.

"And how will you know when I'm calling you, huh?"

Xiao willingly showing vulnerability was a delicate situation, a tightrope you had just about learnt to walk across. You kept the atmosphere light, offering slight joking comments, encouraging him to continue without pushing him too far.

"Don't concern yourself with that. Just... When you're in trouble, say my name. I'll be there," he insisted, meeting your eyes once again. You didn’t think you’d ever seen his expression so gentle before, and it forced a lump into your throat and a small smile onto your face.

"One condition," you said, and he didn’t have to agree for you to know he was ready and listening. The condition was a risk; you were willingly jumping off the tightrope and praying for a soft landing. But walking the rope showed no signs of getting you to the floor, and your heart was longing to be grounded, "kiss me."

Xiao remembered a great deal of his long life, but he did not remember the last time he moved so desperately, catching his lips on yours. The kiss was soft, only lasting a moment, but it still left you breathless, heart beating faster than ever or perhaps stopped altogether. You stared at him in wonder as he stayed close, your noses only millimeters apart, his eyes scanning every inch of your face in admiration.

"Xiao," was all you could manage to say, barely a whisper against his lips, bringing his attention back to your eyes.

"I'm here."

You knew him well enough to know that that was his way of saying ‘I love you’.

[b000mbayah]

Bully!Itzys reaction to prime victim talking back

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

Yeji

The awful sound of another chair being scraped up to my desk is ear twitching to say the least, but I keep my focus.

"Y/n" her voice is noticeable amongst the crowded classroom, irritation is evident within the words of which she had called upon.

I look up, my hands keeping in place of where my eyes had left the textbook. "I beg your pardon" I smile lightly as she glares at me with hatred.

"Quit it" she speaks with authority, thinking she has a saying in what I do.

"Quit what?" I ask, blinking once in an innocent manner.

"Yah, are you dumb!" Yeji slams her palms on the table, remaining seated.

"When you think about it everyone on this earth is truly dumb, how can someone be defined as being well educated?" I could sense the annoyance in the way she looks at me, how her jaw is tightly clenched to the point where it may just shatter.

"You better stop ruining Ryujins chances" Yeji defends one of her closest friends.

"That's not my fault, she was the one who cheated on the test, so she shall be the one to deal with said punishment" 

"Yeah, and because of you she's been put on the line for debate" 

"I don't see why I should care, it's not my problem" her hands tighten into fists, her figure becomes shaky with my words.

"What are you doing?" My seatmate whispers her eyes wide with concern as she flicks them between me and my long lasting bully Hwang Yeji.

"You know, you've changed. You're now speaking back, that's only gonna put you in more danger" Yeji smirks, not allowing me time to answer the girl to my side.

"Maybe I should teach you some lessons" She smirks, satisfied with herself.

"The fundamental purpose of school is learning, not teaching. Focus on yourself, like I am with myself. Maybe then you'll learn a few things for your closed minded mindset" now it's my turn to smirk as I wipe hers clean off, a curseful scowl leaving her mouth.

"You best watch your back Lim, you never know who could strike you" she stands, dragging the chair away as she goes over to her desk.

"Same goes for you, except, you know who will strike you in the end"

Lia

The godforsaken sound of Lias' usually soft voice isn't something I want to be hearing during class. She's sat behind me with her childish group that tends to target me more so than others.

"Y/n, please" the teacher pauses my reading to criticise me "your English, it seems that you have forgotten half of what you've learnt"

Lias snickering and giggling have decided to make themselves present. "Miss Choi, maybe you'd have something to say?" She pauses, her laughter stopping almost immediately.

"Ah, no Mr li" she gives him her signature heart fluttering smile, her eyes narrowing with the smile.

"Very well then" he turns to the board, writing down various words in English with the Korean translation next to them. "Since miss Lim couldn't pronounce these words the correct way… we will go through them together" 

I listen to the classes groaning, however, I myself, I just smile with gratitude. 

"Welldone" Lia grumbles, the sound of something hitting her desk in defeat.

"Says you, you were the one that sounded like a hyena with that psycho giggle. You had me fooled, I could've sworn someone let a monkey into the classroom" she gasps, eyebrows narrowed, knitting together in annoyance.

"At least I don't look like one" she fires back a weak insult.

"At least I look like one" I mimic her voice,  a twisted smile on my face.

"That's real mature coming from someone who can't say the simplest of words in english" 

"Girls, stop this" the teacher demands.

"Says the girl who can't hold a stable relationship for more than two days" she huffs, rolling her eyes with a grumpy frown

"Don't look so sad, that face doesn't suit you" I turn around, facing the teacher as he looks at us with disappointment and rage.

"Girls, that's your warning, anything else and you'll be going to the headteacher" he snaps before turning around once again, finishing off a sentence.

"Don't try me" Lia leans forwards, whispering in my ear "it will always end in favour of me" 

"Don't talk to me, it will always end in shambles for you" I speak back, finally being able to focus on the teacher now.

Ryujin

Blabbering, nonsense, bickering. Everyone in the classroom seems to be enjoying themselves after the teacher's big announcement.

He had revealed the test results and being the annoying male he is, he revealed my result, the lowest result of the class. The highest had a score of 97, while me? Only 13.

Me and Ryujin are different in many ways, the main difference being that I wouldn't ruin someone else's chances at success by swapping out the names on our test sheets.

"How does it feel? You know, to get the lowest score in the entire class" Ryujin mocks me, a very playful grin playing like the devil upon her facial features.

"Why are you asking me?"

"Because you got the lowest in the class" 

I shake my head "no, actually you did. You're just lucky the teacher didn't realise your horrible job of scribbling out our names. Though, it would've been funny"

"Excuse me, are you accusing me of cheating?"

"Yes, I'm also accusing you of fraud, you miss Shin, are guilty of fraud" she purses her lips, staring me down.

"You're lying"

"Ouh, I am? Then please explain why the handwriting on my sheet doesn't belong to me, it's an identical match to your handwriting though" I point to the writing in the sheet, it's messy and looks rushed. My handwriting is never rushed.

People say quality over quantity, especially the teachers here, so it comes as no surprise that I try my hardest to make everything at least readable, bare minimum.

"What a coincidence" Ryujin shrugs her shoulders without a single care in the world.

"Yeah, a coincidence, just like your existence" I send her a wink before turning back to her test results, looking down upon them with shame.

How could someone in our class be so stupid?

Better yet, how could someone in out class be so stupid, and get away with it?

Chaeryeong 

Just walking past Chaeryeong was never an option, the girl would side eye you till you're forced to cover your face, or so it felt that way.

The evil deeds in her sick and twisted mind are awful, like right now. I've only just gotten back from the bathroom and my chair is somehow covered in ink.

I was gone for two? three minutes, max.

"Miss Lim, please sit already" the teacher instructs me, watching me intensely as I move around my desk completely, staring down upon the dark substance that seemed to paint the chair it's lifeless color.

It's like a mass murder for pens, like an entire world war lol based off of pens.. it's concerning me. "Ah, Mr Li? Please may I have another chair, this one is covered in-"

"Do I look like I care miss Lim? Just sit so I can dismiss you" I sigh, slowly and carefully sitting on the disgusting chair. 

The laughs of Chaeryeong and her friends for sure didn't go undetected either. It's rather obvious at this point. I turn my head to my right, slowly but surely glaring into Chaeryeong's soul as she just smiles.

"Alright class, you're.. dismissed" he walks out, multiple students following as I just sit in despair, keeping my unwanted emotions locked and hidden away.

Her laughing approaches, it's like a horror movie, just without a murder and an annoying classmate who hates my guts.

"Are you okay down there?" She chuckles, watching me as I sit perfectly still, only moving the parts of me that aren't touching the chair

"I don't know, why don't you come and join me, your royal highness?"

"No can do, I don't touch village folks like you" the corners of her lips curve up by the slightest, a small smile coming into play.

"That's okay, I don't touch spoilt brats either" I give her the same small smile, she raises an eyebrow.

"She's actually talking for once, how cute" 

"No, what's cute is your lack of intelligence" I scoop some of the fresh ink off of the chair before standing up "next time think of something, make sure it can't backfire" 

And with that, I smear the pens insides all over her makeup covered face, ruining her look for the day.

Chaeryeong gasps before sulking, eventually storming out of the room to find some spare clothes… I should probably do the same...

Yuna

I was only helping some other student when the witch in this class had walked past me, sticking her nasty gum in my hair like I'm some bin for her nasty bacteria.

Even the boy I was helping had looked at Yuna in utter disgust. 

"What? It's just some gum, what's the big deal?" She tilts her head, her silent laugh somehow echoes in my ears.

Normally I wouldn't dare speak back to the cunning cow in the room but I just felt the need to do so this time, it's the third time this week and it's only Tuesday!

"What's the big deal? You stuck your nasty gum in my hair. I've seen the way you chew your gum, it's like watching a camel eat" 

"Hey, watch your mouth Lim!" She practically yells, pointing her manicured intex finger at me.

"Only if you learn to shut yours" the boy I was helping had become completely invested in whatever is going down between me and Yuna, a chuckle leaving his lips with every point I make, causing Yuna to look like the real fool here.

"Not only is your breath infecting the perfectly good air in here, but also the words that are leaving your mouth.. they're just as pathetic as you are"

Her facial expression resembled an enraged bull, I could've sworn I saw steam coming from her ears too.

"Shut it Lim" she half yells, not wanting to draw any unwanted attention from passing teachers or student councils. "You could never out do me, why are you even trying?" 

"I'm not trying, I'm succeeding" I respond, furrowing my eyebrows, feeling confused with her incorrect opinion.

"You're just mad that you can't be like me" she spits her words out like an animal, aggressive and pointless.

"Who would wanna be like you? You look and act like a witch. How haven't you been burnt at the stake or drowned like a rat yet?"

"Ouch" she grumbles "just wait till lunch" she charmingly smiles my way, covering the fact that she's not happy with how that just ended.

I roll my eyes, leaving the room to be gone of the icky gum still stuck to my hair covered scalp.

I mean, what's the worst she could do? Throw her milk at me?

[deardragonbook]

I'm trying to write a scene in my fanfic where my protagonist is living out on the streets after she escaped, and she runs into Izuku Midoriya, a canon character in BNHA (but that's not what I'm trying to focus on). She hardly slept for days, she's hungry, super irritated, with only a small switchblade to defend herself. How do I write a mugging situation?

Hello!

First of, I know I am VERY late. This probably isn't going to be any good for you, but it's kind of ironic I would do the fanfic writer trope of coming very very late with a pointless excuse about how I was finishing my degree and attending conferences for work... at least I find it funny.

Either way I'm going to answer for anybody else who may find this useful. Note I have never seen the show/anime/other to which this is referring so this isn't character specific.

Let's first take into account the symptoms of sleep deprivation:

-Slow thinking

-Reduces attention span

-Poor decision making capabilities

-Lack of energy

Next let's look at the symptoms of hunger:

-Light headed

-Lack of energy

-General weakness

Great, so we have our character's condition. She's not going to be stable on her feat and if she's irritable she will not be judging the danger correctly.

Though this could be an advantage in a sense, risky decision making means unexpected decisions, it means fighting harder than recommended because you're too tired to figure out you may lose.

You said defend herself so I'm figuring she's the one being mugged? She could well be at a point where she has less to lose than the person mugging her so the best technique if your looking for her to win is to go hard, don't step back, don't back down, attack. Let your enemy be intimidated by your lack of fear.

If your plan is for her to lose, then it can be as simple as tripping over her own feat, if you've ever been extra hungry or tired and gotten up very fast, you know that dizzy feeling, well, the same can be expected when you get in a fight, exerting your body more than it's ready for.

Without more context it's hard for me to go into more detail. But what can be learnt from this is research! Whenever I find myself struggling with a scene, even if I think I know everything I need, I'll do some research on something random. Maybe I'll look up types of switchblades and how they work, look up city environments or even research the weather at the time of the story. All of this can serve to inspire and give as greater understanding of the story we are telling!

I hope this helped somebody!

As usual,  check out my book, stories I’ve written plus other social medias: here.

I've got a couple of drafts to go soon with summer coming and more free time. But any questions are always appreciated! Saves me having to think of ideas.

[girlactionfigure]

Why I’m Leaving Mumford & Sons

I loved those first tours. Bouncing off a sweaty stage in an Edinburgh catacomb we then had to get to a gig in Camden by lunch the next day. We couldn’t fit all four of us and Ted’s double-bass into the VW Polo. I think it was Ben who drew the short-straw and had to follow by train with his keyboard. I remember blitzing it down the M6 through the night, the lads asleep beside me. We made it but my voice sadly didn’t, completely shot by exhaustion, I had to mime my harmonies. Being in Mumford & Sons was exhilarating.

Every gig was its own adventure. Every gig its own story. Be it odysseys through the Scottish Islands, or soapbox shows in Soho. Where would we sleep that night? Hostels in Fort William, pub floors in Ipswich, even the Travelodge in Carlisle maintains a sort of charm in my mind. We saw the country and then, as things miraculously grew, the world. All the while doing what we loved. Music. And not just any music. These songs meant something. They felt important to me. Songs with the message of hope and love. I was surrounded by three supremely talented song-writers and Marcus, our singer with a one-in-a-million voice. A voice that can compel both a field of 80,000 and the intimacy of a front room. Fast-forward ten years and we were playing those same songs every night in arenas, flying first-class, staying in luxury hotels and being paid handsomely to do so. I was a lucky boy.

On stage, to my left Ted, a roaring bear, with his double-bass flying high above him. To my right Ben, with his unparalleled passion for music, pounding at the keys. And Marcus leading us with all the might of a hurricane or all the tenderness of a breeze, depending on what the song demanded. What a blessing it was to be so close to such talent as theirs. It will be with immense pride that I look back at my time with Mumford & Sons. A legacy of songs that I believe will stand the test of ages. What we’ve achieved together has vastly exceeded the wildest fantasies of this shitkicker from Mortlake.

Who in their right mind would willingly walk away from this?

It turns out I would. And as you might imagine it’s been no easy decision.

At the beginning of March I tweeted to American journalist Andy Ngo, author of the New York Times Bestseller, Unmasked. “Congratulations @MrAndyNgo. Finally had the time to read your important book. You’re a brave man”. Posting about books had been a theme of my social-media throughout the pandemic. I believed this tweet to be as innocuous as the others. How wrong I turned out to be.

Over the course of 24 hours it was trending with tens of thousands of angry retweets and comments. I failed to foresee that my commenting on a book critical of the Far-Left could be interpreted as approval of the equally abhorrent Far-Right.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Thirteen members of my family were murdered in the concentration camps of the Holocaust. My Grandma, unlike her cousins, aunts and uncles, survived. She and I were close. My family knows the evils of fascism painfully well. To say the least. To call me “fascist” was ludicrous beyond belief.

I’ve had plenty of abuse over the years. I’m a banjo player after all. But this was another level. And, owing to our association, my friends, my bandmates, were getting it too. It took me more than a moment to understand how distressing this was for them.

Despite being four individuals we were, in the eyes of the public, a unity. Furthermore it’s our singer’s name on the tin. That name was being dragged through some pretty ugly accusations, as a result of my tweet. The distress brought to them and their families that weekend I regret very much. I remain sincerely sorry for that. Unintentionally, I had pulled them into a divisive and totemic issue.

Emotions were high. Despite pressure to nix me they invited me to continue with the band. That took courage, particularly in the age of so called “cancel culture”. I made an apology and agreed to take a temporary step back.

Rather predictably another viral mob came after me, this time for the sin of apologising. Then followed libellous articles calling me “right-wing” and such. Though there’s nothing wrong with being conservative, when forced to politically label myself I flutter between “centrist”, “liberal” or the more honest “bit this, bit that”. Being labeled erroneously just goes to show how binary political discourse has become. I had criticised the “Left”, so I must be the “Right”, or so their logic goes.

Why did I apologise?

“Rub your eyes and purify your heart — and prize above all else in the world those who love you and who wish you well.” — Aleksander Solzhenitsyn once wrote. In the mania of the moment I was desperate to protect my bandmates. The hornets’ nest that I had unwittingly hit had unleashed a black-hearted swarm on them and their families. I didn’t want them to suffer for my actions, they were my priority.

Secondly, I was sincerely open to the fact that maybe I did not know something about the author or his work. “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak,” Churchill once said, “courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen”. And so I listened.

I have spent much time reflecting, reading and listening. The truth is that my commenting on a book that documents the extreme Far-Left and their activities is in no way an endorsement of the equally repugnant Far-Right. The truth is that reporting on extremism at the great risk of endangering oneself is unquestionably brave. I also feel that my previous apology in a small way participates in the lie that such extremism does not exist, or worse, is a force for good.

So why leave the band?

On the eve of his leaving to the West, Solzhenitsyn published an essay titled ‘Live Not By Lies’. I have read it many times now since the incident at the start of March. It still profoundly stirs me.

“And he who is not sufficiently courageous to defend his soul — don’t let him be proud of his ‘progressive’ views, and don’t let him boast that he is an academician or a people’s artist, a distinguished figure or a general. Let him say to himself: I am a part of the herd and a coward. It’s all the same to me as long as I’m fed and kept warm.”

For me to speak about what I’ve learnt to be such a controversial issue will inevitably bring my bandmates more trouble. My love, loyalty and accountability to them cannot permit that. I could remain and continue to self-censor but it will erode my sense of integrity. Gnaw my conscience. I’ve already felt that beginning.

The only way forward for me is to leave the band. I hope in distancing myself from them I am able to speak my mind without them suffering the consequences. I leave with love in my heart and I wish those three boys nothing but the best. I have no doubt that their stars will shine long into the future. I will continue my work with Hong Kong Link Up and I look forward to new creative projects as well as speaking and writing on a variety of issues, challenging as they may be.

Winston Marshall

[spideyspeaches]

We always have been ↬ fem!p.p

A/N: AHHH I love genderbent Peter skjkjhjka and I’ve only seen @justme--emily​ write for her so far so I wrote one of my own 😤

Summary: It was not every day you crash into your ex boyfriend in a Stark Gala, was it? Your ex boyfriend you dumped right after your senior prom? It was probably her Parker luck striking, never a good sign, she learned that from experience. 

Warning: um cursing lol.

Pairing: female!Peter Parker x Harry Osborn

WC: 2k

When Mister Stark had asked her to attend one of those glorious charity galas, Penny had been elated, internally (and externally) jumping at the thought of wearing fancy gowns and walking past pretentious rich bureaucrats and business people.

She was practically lost in paradise when Miss Potts had accompanied her to shop for her dress, a beautiful blue and red full length gown, hugging her in her curves with a chinese collar neck and embroidered bust (very on brand of her). 

“Is your dress comfortable? Oh god I think I should have altered it myself, it’s not too tight right?” May fretted, fixing her hairdo and last minute make up she learnt from makeup hacks videos. Groaning, Penny nudged May by her shoulders, sitting her down on her twin bed, holding her aunt’s cheeks.

“May, the dress is comfortable! Miss Potts made sure that it was altered to my size okay? Now calm down, it’s just one night.” She smiled, folding her hands under her chest. Her dress was truly comfortable, and she looked undeniably good, she checked (she was a nerd, yes, but she wasn’t blind. Especially now that she had 20/20 long vision due to her spider powers.)

“You know how I feel about you going to fancy parties, baby.” May sighed, making her wince, “the last time you went to prom ended in a disaster. Both of them”

“I know May, but on the bright side, it gained me an actual paid internship. And Mister Stark and Miss Potts are going to be present the whole time!” She reassured, squeezing her aunt’s shoulders. In all honesty, she understood her anxiety, shuddering as she remembered her prom fighting Liz’s dad, and then breaking up with Harry, “besides, I have my spidery powers remember? I’m a big girl May, I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can sweetheart, god look at you all grown up, Ben would be so proud of how much you’ve grown, my little woman.” May sniffed, getting up to caress her head. She shook her head at her aunt’s emotional state, smiling as she bowed her head at the nickname. It was something Ben used to call her- little woman.

“Ben would be proud of you too May.” Penny said, willing her eyes to not water at the sudden rush of sentiment she felt at the mention of her deceased uncle.

“Now, shoo before I change my mind and keep you all to myself!” May laughed, fixing the non existent crease near her shoulders.

“Okay okay! I’m going May, jeez it’s like you and Mister Stark are holding a shared custody of me.” Penny snickered, scrambling to wear her uncomfortable heels, the ones that matched her dress.

“Maybe I am, but I get to be the primary guardian!”

Laughing, she gave her aunt a kiss to her cheek, doing a preliminary check of her cell phone and emergency bracelet, blowing her a kiss before walking into the car that was standing outside their apartment.

The car ride was silent, her stomach bubbling with nervousness and excitement. She was practically vibrating in her seat, glad that Tony had sent another driver instead of Happy- he would have teased her incessantly for being so nervous. She had grown close to Happy, the man growing fond of her as well, but he could be an embarrassing dad at times.

The gala was everything she had imagined, brightly lit in an overpriced hall, adorning overpriced decorations with people in overpriced clothes. 

“Hey Mister Stark! Thank you so much for inviting me!” She grinned, skipping towards her fath- mentor. 

“Hey Pen, wow don’t you look beautiful. A little too beautiful, beware of those good for nothing boys you hear me?” Tony smiled, hugging her, a protective hand on her shoulder. 

“Oh don’t mind Tony, hun, he’s only joking.” Pepper said, giving her a kiss on her cheek and doing a once over, just like May had. 

“I’m serious Pep, if those boys even tried anything, you call me okay? I’ll take care of them.” 

“Mister Stark, you can’t just threaten teenagers.” Penny giggled, looking at Pepper with a smirk.

“Barely a teenager kiddo, why did you grow up so fast?” He smiled, a fond look in his eyes.

“I’m nineteen Mister Stark, I think I can take care of those boys themselves.” 

“Hell yeah you can, that’s my girl.” 

Easy for her to say, because not long after that, Mister Stark and Pepper had abandoned her to talk to some prominent dealer about some… deals concerning Stark Industries, she didn't ask.

By the end of an hour, she was already bouncing on her heels, bored out of her mind. Even the Avengers could entertain her only so much, going back to their important work. And 

Penny was an awkward girl, always finding herself in situations she was unwilling to participate in, so socialising was out of question.

She remembered the one time she had accidentally spilled coffee all over Mister Stark’s touch sensitive keyboard, stuttering the whole time. He hadn’t even been mad, reassuring her that he had done that enough times before, hence the liquid resistant keypads. 

And then there was that one time the school nurse had called Tony when she was experiencing period induced fever. That was embarrassing, if not a little heartwarming to know that he cared about her enough to confront Pepper about menstrual problems. She was his daughter in everything but blood, he reminded her that every day, though not verbally.

There was also this one time she had been caught kissing MJ, but none of those were going to top what she was facing right now.

Literally.

“Penny! Penny Parker?” Harry’s chirpy voice rang in her ears, his footsteps sounding increasingly closer as she tried to hide her face behind her (non alcoholic) drink, frantically walking towards the vague figure of Mister Stark as fast as she could with her overly expensive stilettos.

It was not every day you crash into your ex boyfriend in a Stark Gala, was it? Your ex boyfriend you dumped right after your senior prom? It was probably her Parker luck striking, never a good sign, she learned that from experience. 

Finally standing near Mister Stark, she tried to stand next to him, ignoring the weird look he was giving her. Penny was petite, always has been small for her age, so she was glad Mister Stark could cover her with his side. Apparently he got her cue, as he shifted slightly to hide her from whomever’s view.

“What’s wrong Pen? Some pesky boy chasing you? Accidentally met your ex?” He joked, giving the old businessman in front of him a handshake and smirking at her with amusement. 

“Something like that.” She shrugged casually, snickering at Tony’s wide eyes. 

“Penny! Hey it’s me, Harry.” He said, nearly standing behind her. He was either incredibly stupid or incredibly brave, weaving his way through the crowd to stand right in front of her. He probably hadn’t noticed her clinging to Tony, which is why he came forward, a big goofy grin playing on his handsome face, sending her heart into a frenzy, his blue eyes shining under the gleaming lights. 

“Uh, h-hey Harry.” She grimaced, elongating his name with a chuckle. Shuffling forward, she ignored Tony’s raised eyebrows, opening her mouth to speak, but all she could look at was Harry Fucking Osborn standing in front of her, “Um, small world?” 

Her words sounded distant to her, heart heart a lump in her throat. She felt underprepared for these situations. Sure, they had broken off on a semi- good note, but it didn’t make whatever this was any less awkward. 

“Small world indeed.” He said, much softer than before, a solemn expression taking over his face, “It’s not every day you get to meet Penelope Parker in a Stark Gala. Heard of your internship by the way, I knew you were smart enough to get it.” 

“Oh, thanks about that. I guess you’re an unwilling guest here? Haven’t seen Mr. Osborn around.” She smiled shyly, shuffling on her feet.

“Yeah, kind of, I mean you know how he is.” He shrugged.

“How long have you two known each other?” Tony interrupts the two, watching in amusement as both his pseudo daughter and Norman’s son blush under his gaze, as if just noticing his presence.

“Uhm, Hi Mister Stark! B-big fan, hi oh my god Penny I’m standing in front of Tony Stark.” Harry stuttered, shaking Tony’s hand for a little too long.

Staring at him with confusion, he shook Harry's hand back, silently asking Penny the lingering question.

“He’s a bit of a fanboy.” She answered. 

Harry was still looking at Stark with his wonderstruck expression. 

“Well it’s always good to meet my fans, but you didn't answer my question, kid. How do you two know each other?” Tony said, smiling as politely as he could while his hand was still stuck in Harry’s grip. 

Realising that, he instantly let go, standing awkwardly as him and Penny said at the same time-

“I’m her ex boyfriend-”

“He’s my best friend.” 

His eyes widen, realising what he had just said.

“You guys dated? And when were you going to tell me about that Pen?” Tony asked, baffled at the thought of Penny dating a guy, and Osborn’s son of all people. 

“Well, you see, I was going to tell you soon, but then we broke up. You know? We haven’t talked since.” Penny said, the last sentence directed towards Harry. She was looking at him now, gritting her teeth.

“Well did you expect me to call you after you dumped me? During prom nonetheless? I was ashamed, Pen, I couldn’t do it.” Harry said, looking apologetic. It made her heart clench, inherent guilt building up in her tummy. It was her fault, technically. 

“Yeah but, Harry you were my best friend before my boyfriend, and I missed you okay? You could’ve at least called.” She defended. Tony was good at reading the room, so sensing a banter building, he quietly left the area, not wanting to witness the misunderstanding.

“I really missed you too Penny, I- I didn’t think I was good enough for you, gosh I really fucking love you.” He said, immediately stiffening. 

Even back when they were dating, they had never said the L word to each other, not even when they were best friends, and now? Well he had just made the air more thicker than before. 

“You- you what?” She asked, voice small as her heart jumped. She moved closer to him, holding her hands out, reaching to touch his shoulders. Her hands set on his silky tuxedo, she stroked her hands in a slow motion, dropping them immediately when she realised she was touching him.

“I really fucking love you Penny, even if you don’t want to get together, can we still be friends? Go back to our movie nights and lego sessions?” He asked, furrowing his brows as if to keep himself from crying. 

No words left her mouth, her breath hitched when he moved forward, chest stuttering. With a sudden confidence she didn’t know she had, she leapt forward, capturing his lips in hers. Their lips moved with a sync, his familiar ocean scented deo invading her nostrils, his soft skin against her. The world around her melded in a technicolour blob, the only thing she could focus was his heartbeat echoing in her ears.

“I really fucking love you too by the way.” She said, pulling away from the kiss. She vaguely spotted Miss Potts in her periphery, shaking her head with a smile as she held back Mister Stark.

“So, are we friends then?” 

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“We are more than friends, you dumbass. We always have been.” 

I’m a thirsty bitch, pwease give me feedback? 🥺🥺

[melanielocke]

Lost in the shadows - Chapter 7

AO3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Taglist @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings

Lucie’s parents were putting away the groceries when the four of them entered the house. Thomas quickly texted his parents he was with the Herondales and wasn’t sure when he’d be back. Will and Tessa had noticed something was not right immediately, and while Will was making some tea, Tessa sat down on the couch with her daughter.

‘What happened, Lu?’ she asked.

Lucie recounted the story of seeing Jesse Blackthorn, and Thomas couldn’t help but think it was all connected somehow. She had never seen Jesse until now, just after a washing woman had told him his grandfather’s debt was not paid. That was not a coincidence.

‘What if Jesse came back from being dead somehow?’ Thomas asked.

‘None of you saw him, did you?’ Lucie asked.

Thomas, Cordelia and Alastair all said no.

‘He was a ghost,’ Lucie said. ‘So he’s still very much dead. And he didn’t stay around to talk. I thought he was going to, I thought he wanted to, but then he was gone. And I don’t understand any of it. Why here, why now? I thought he’d moved on to wherever dead people are supposed to go, and I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a ghost who’d returned from there.’

‘You might not have been wherever Jesse’s ghost was before,’ Thomas offered, but Lucie determinedly shook her head.

‘He would have come for me,’ Lucie said. ‘I know what we had wasn’t really romance, but he was still a dear friend and he would not have left me. I looked everywhere for him. And he’s never been here in his life, it makes no sense for him to come to this place.’

‘It must be connected to my grandfather’s debts,’ Thomas said, and he recounted the story for Cordelia and Lucie. He suspected Will and Tessa already knew most of it, but Lucie and Cordelia knew nothing and Thomas was afraid telling Lucie Jesse’s death might not have been an accident was a bit much. It was an odd sort of guilt Thomas felt while discussing Jesse. It wasn’t his fault exactly, that Jesse had died, but perhaps if he’d died Jesse would have survived and gotten better instead. Why did he deserve to live and not Jesse? Why had he survived?

‘Thomas, perhaps you should ask your father to contact Tatiana,’ Tessa suggested. ‘Perhaps she knows more.’

Will shook his head though. ‘Tatiana is mad as mouse trapped in a teapot,’ he said. ‘She never took her father’s death well and blamed it on anyone involved in the matter. Me, Jem, even her own brothers. And when Jesse died, I think she decided we were all evil and out to ruin her life. She thinks we turned her brothers against her, killed her father, and let her son die. She might even blame Lucie for Jesse’s death since she never approved of them spending time together. I don’t want her anywhere near you, no matter what information she might have.’

‘My father has been trying to call her and has left several messages. So far nothing,’ Thomas said. ‘I don’t think she wants us to contact her, but if we told her Jesse’s ghost was here, do you think that would change her mind?’

‘Or perhaps Jesse’s ghost appeared because Tatiana made a dark deal of her own,’ Will said. He stared out of the window thoughtfully. ‘In which case, perhaps it is our duty to stop her. None of which is your responsibility.’

Thomas suspected Will had been fighting against the supernatural at an age younger than he was now, but there was a reason he’d stopped. He imagined the price had been too high, and perhaps he regretted going up against monsters at such a young age. Perhaps it had left scars.

‘Sometimes doing nothing is more dangerous though,’ Thomas said.

‘Exactly,’ Lucie said. ‘I need to find out what happened to Jesse, we have no time to waste.’

Like Thomas, Lucie was both reckless and stubborn and he didn’t think any amount of discussion with her parents was going to stop her.

Will sighed. ‘You’re just like me when I was your age. Always running headlong towards danger. I suppose I can’t stop you. But I hope you can be careful. Speaking with ghosts is one thing, but running after the son of Tatiana Blackthorn…’

‘Will, I think we’re going to have to try and remember as much as we can from Benedict Lightwood,’ Tessa said. ‘Any detail could be crucial, anything we missed at the time. I suppose Gideon knows the most.’

‘I can help with that,’ Alastair said. ‘To remember, I mean.’

Alastair explained his ability and Thomas realized he hadn’t told anyone besides him and his family, since everyone except for Cordelia seemed surprised and confused.

‘An interesting and useful ability for someone who investigates the supernatural,’ Will mused. ‘If someone claims to have seen someone, you could objectify it for yourself and figure out what it is before fighting it. I got into some dangerous situations myself because sighted people didn’t know the difference between a werewolf and a wulver.’

Thomas didn’t know what the difference was between a werewolf and a wulver, but was glad he’d never encountered either.

‘That’s not… I’m just trying to save Thomas. I don’t want to fight like my father,’ Alastair said, refusing to look Will in the eye.

Will nodded. ‘That is a wise decision. Life fighting evil isn’t for everyone. It is a hard life and it leaves its scars. But those scars are, unfortunately, the price that some of us must pay so the rest can be safe.’

Thomas noticed Alastair tensed up, but he didn’t say anything. Thomas wanted to ask if he was alright, but Alastair seemed so closed off and he didn’t dare. He remembered Alastair being like this at times at school, and Thomas had learnt that approaching him when he was in such a state led to him lashing out. His attempt, Thomas suspected, to conceal how vulnerable he really was.

‘Alastair, why don’t you go see Gideon?’ Tessa said in an attempt to break the awkward silence. ‘I think he is the most likely to remember anything useful. In all the time he didn’t know the supernatural was real, he still might have picked up information he didn’t understand at the time.’

Alastair didn’t say anything, just nodded and picked up his bag and left.

‘I’ll go too,’ Thomas said and he quickly followed Alastair, who was already outside when he caught up..

Alastair was still tense and Thomas wished there was something he could do to help, but he wasn’t sure what exactly was going on.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked, reaching out his hand and dropping it.

He wasn’t sure Alastair wanted to be touched, even if his first instinct was to offer him comfort through a hug or a hand on his shoulder. He knew Alastair’s anger, and even if Thomas knew Alastair didn’t mean the rude things he said, it still hurt when he lashed out.

‘I’m fine, Lightwood,’ Alastair snapped.

Thomas wasn’t sure what to say. Alastair had always called him by his last name back at school, which Thomas had taken as an attempt to not let him get to close, as if using his first name implied they were friends when Alastair did the best he could to keep everyone at an arm’s length. He thought they were past that, though. They’d spoken so openly this morning in the woods, even if he could tell Alastair had scars he wasn’t ready to reveal. That was alright though, because Alastair was more than just his scars, or his memory ability. Thomas had loved talking about Alastair’s interests, he loved how passionate Alastair could be. Now he struggled to tell what Alastair was feeling, and if he liked Thomas’ presence at all.

‘Was it something uncle Will said?’ Thomas asked.

Technically, Will wasn’t his uncle, but Thomas had always called him that. He viewed Lucie as his closest friend, but also as family. Will’s sister Cecily was his aunt through marriage though, so in that regard the Herondales were almost family.

‘I’m perfectly fine,’ Alastair said between his teeth. ‘Stop pretending I’m fragile.’

Thomas took a step back, hurt. He knew Alastair didn’t mean it, he knew Will’s comment had upset him and this was how Alastair defended himself. Thomas didn’t think Alastair was fragile, far from it, but it was obvious he wasn’t alright, wasn’t it? He didn’t want to make Alastair uncomfortable, but he wished he could be of more help. He wished he knew how to support him.

Thomas couldn’t deny to himself that he still had feelings for Alastair. After this morning, after getting a glimpse of who he really was, Thomas only loved him more. Knowing Alastair was gay, there was a chance Alastair could like him back. He began to suspect it wasn’t that easy though.

‘I know you’re not fragile,’ Thomas said. ‘But it’s alright to admit that things bother you. I know you’ve been through much more than any of us can imagine and honestly if it were me I wouldn’t be able to do half the things you did. I’d be a crumbling mess.’

Alastair stared at him for a moment, Thomas could tell he was thinking. He seemed confused, furrowing his perfectly shaped brows. Even Matthew had agreed there was something special about Alastair’s eyebrows.

‘What do you know about what happened to me?’ Alastair asked, but it wasn’t as hostile as he’d expected. ‘Did they tell you too?’

Thomas assumed with “they” Alastair meant the Herondales. ‘Not much,’ he admitted. ‘I know something is not alright with your father though. And since uncle Will warned us about drinking, I’m guessing maybe he had a drinking problem? And I think it upsets you when people describe him as a hero who fought monsters and kept people safe. Or when people talk about how his life as a hero left scars. Because it dismisses you, it implies that what happened to you is just collateral damage.’

‘My father was a hero,’ Alastair said but there was no admiration in his voice. His hands were shaking and Thomas realized he was still very upset. ‘He did all these things Will talks about, and when I was a small child I used to curl up in his lap and listen as he told stories of his adventures. And I think they’re right that it had a cost, that what he saw was the reason he started drinking. But that’s no excuse for how he treated me, is it? I don’t want to empathize with my father, not after everything he did to me. People can talk all they want of how noble he was, and that being a hero leaves its scars, but what about me? What about my scars? Do I not matter?’

Thomas wanted to touch Alastair, hold his hand, put his arms around him and hold him close, but feared he would only make it worse. Alastair could be difficult to read at times, even to Thomas who prided himself on his ability to read people.

‘Of course you matter. It’s alright to hate him,’ Thomas said. ‘Or feel however you want to about him.’

‘I do. I hate him,’ Alastair said. ‘But for a long time I also loved him. And I kept trying, kept hoping that he would change if only I did better.’

There were tears in his eyes, Alastair wiped them away with shaking hands.

‘It’s not your fault,’ Thomas said. ‘Recovery from addiction is a long and difficult process and that was never your responsibility. And making sure you and Cordelia were safe was his responsibility as a parent.’

‘He never cared,’ Alastair said, and although Alastair seemed a bit calmer, his hands were still shaking and the tears in his eyes were still there. Will’s comments, although unintentional, must have been very upsetting. ‘My mother spent years trying to convince him to go to a clinic. Not so long ago she asked Jem to convince him, but I don’t know. I don’t think he wants to get better.’

‘That must be difficult,’ Thomas said. ‘Does Jem keep you informed on how your father is doing? Do they still see each other?’

‘I think Jem’s still trying with my father, but I’m trying to get away from him,’ Alastair said. ‘I’ve asked him not to keep me informed. I’d rather not know. Come, we’re almost at your father’s cottage. Searching his memory is probably going to take some time.’

Thomas took Alastair’s comment as an attempt to end the conversation about his father and didn’t press. At the cottage, Thomas realized his parents weren’t there, and when Thomas checked his phone he saw his father had texted that they were taking a walk and his mother wanted to try if she could find the washer woman Thomas had seen.

Thomas texted back, explaining how Alastair intended to help with the memories, and then made them both some lunch since neither had eaten since breakfast and Thomas was starving. Ever since his growth spurt, Thomas had an insatiable appetite. He and Lucie used to have eating competitions, but Lucie was starting to get insecure about eating a lot because she’d gained weight. While eating a lot was generally acceptable for teen boys, it was frowned upon for girls. Thomas missed it. It might be weird and stupid, but it was theirs and it was fun and Thomas was quite good at it. They decided to play chess to pass the time when they were finished eating.

Thomas was decent, but rusty. He’d taken chess classes sometime at school but hadn’t played in a while, and tended to miss important details as he played. He stood no chance against Alastair.

‘Cordelia and I played a lot of chess,’ Alastair said. ‘She’s a bit better at it than I am. My mother taught us, chess was originally a Persian game and she thought it was important we knew how to play.’

‘Really? I didn’t know.’

‘The term check derives from the Persian word ‘Shãh’, which means king. Checkmate comes from ‘Shãh mãt’, meaning the king is helpless.’

‘And your family is from Iran, right?’ Thomas asked.

‘My mother is,’ he said. ‘My father is English. I was born here in England, but my mother raised us with Persian stories, the language. She wanted to keep us connected to our heritage.’

‘Are you or your family religious?’ Thomas asked then.

‘I’m not. My father didn’t want to raise us with religion. He was raised a Christian, but I don’t think he really believed anymore. My mother is Muslim, so I am familiar with her religion, but I’m not yet sure what to believe. Growing up with so many stories of the supernatural, it’s easier to believe what I can prove is out there and having faith in something I’ll never be able to prove is something I find difficult.’

‘I agree with the last part,’ Thomas said. ‘But neither of my parents are religious, so I guess it makes sense. I wouldn’t say I’m atheist, it’s more like I think anything is possible.’

‘No, I’m not atheist either,’ Alastair agreed. ‘I don’t discount what my mother believes, but I can’t be sure either and that’s what I find difficult.’

They played two more games of chess before Thomas’ parents came back, both of which Alastair won. Thomas acknowledged he would probably never win at this game, perhaps another time they could play something different.

‘Did you find anything?’ Thomas asked.

‘No, nothing,’ Gideon said. ‘But I got your text, although I’m not quite sure I understand what Alastair can do.’

Alastair explained his ability, and after several questions his father seemed to understand.

‘Thomas, I think you two ate all the bread,’ his mother said as she checked the cupboard. Thomas guessed that was true, his parents still tended to underestimate his appetite, and they might not have counted on Alastair eating here too. ‘Maybe you could go into town and buy some before the shops are all out.’

Thomas turned to Alastair. ‘Do you need me to stay here?’

‘I wouldn’t want you to starve,’ Alastair said. ‘And it might be best not to bring too many people into someone else’s memory. I’m a bit unpracticed.’

Thomas took the car and drove it to the village. He’d gotten a driver’s license a couple of months ago. He had to make a few adjustments to the chair’s position so he could fit into the driver’s seat, and most cars were uncomfortable no matter the adjustments. He parked the car near the grocery store and was relieved to find they weren’t out of bread yet. Just to be sure, Thomas also bought some snacks he knew were vegan. You never knew when you suddenly craved something sweet, or salty. And he didn’t know what Alastair liked, so he bought a wide variety so he’d be able to offer him something he like. At the check out he felt a bit like Harry Potter after buying everything from the trolley, and Thomas didn’t meet the cashier’s eyes as he paid.

While taking his bags back to the car, he caught the eye of a woman with brown hair. He only noticed her for a few seconds, after he’d put his bags in the trunk of the car, and realized she must have been staring at him. She turned around before Thomas could get a proper look at her, trailed by a pretty blonde teen girl. He was just being paranoid, he told himself. Perhaps there was something weird about his clothes he had not noticed, or another logical reason she might have stared. Thomas pushed down the feeling of unease and got in the car, driving back to his parents.

[kmikaelsonimagines]

Back Off: A Kol Mikaelson Imagine

Request from Anon: Can you write and imagine where the reader is kol's girlfriend, they met in New Orleans before he was daggered and is really close with his siblings more than with hers because they always choose the girl that they have feelings instead of her, so when she comes to Mystic Falls with the Mikaelson's and meet Elena she has a lot of troubles with them because of her, and Kol is always there to help her and back her up against her brothers.

This is it. My 101st imagine. Let’s hope this (potentially) next 100 are as good as the last! Hope this is okay for you lovely, and enjoy x 

It had been over a century since you had last since your brothers, having left Mystic Falls after growing tired of your place at the bottom of their list of priorities. No matter what trouble you were going through, no matter how much you just needed your big brothers, Damon and Stefan Salvatore would always choose someone else, the latest woman that took their fancy.

You’d always liked New Orleans, so when you arrived at the beginning of the twentieth century, it was better than anything you could have imagined. It was made perfect when you met Kol Mikaelson, falling in love with the Original vampire, taking your place as a member of his family, of one that, despite their disputes with your boyfriend, valued you, took care of you, maybe even loved you.

For the first time in a long time, life was perfect. There was of course a moment when it wasn’t, when Kol had been daggered, and you had stayed away from the family for a while, dealing with your loss.

But that was all over now. Here you were, in the twenty-first century, back in the arms of the man you loved. It was just a shame your reunion had to take place somewhere you had vowed never to return.

“I’m sorry it had to be here,” Kol murmured into your hair, his hands running up and down your arms. You lay with your back to his chest, both of you having been removed of your clothes the moment you were left alone. “Have you seen them yet?”

You sighed, turning in his arms to face him. You studied every feature, every inch of skin, every glint in his eyes, every tooth in his smile. You had missed it, missed him. It was supposed to be a perfect moment, just you and him, and you joked with him about the mention of your brothers.

“Do we have to talk about them? Way to ruin the moment.”

“Oh, we were having a moment?” Kol smiled, sarcasm lacing his words.

“Well, I’m confused as to what we’ve been doing so far.”

He kissed you and any thoughts of your family disappeared. In truth, you had seen them already, even spoken to them. It was a quick hello, followed by the two Salvatore brothers trying to engage in conversation with you, no doubt, to allow them to express a dire apology, or criticise you for leaving. Their attempts were cut short when Rebekah came to your rescue, your brothers shocked and disgusted as they were informed of your association with the Mikaelson family.

But the way your brothers reacted didn’t matter now. And it wouldn’t until a few days later.

“Y/N, you’d better behave,” Klaus turned on you as you smoothed down your dress. Tonight was the Mikaelson ball and you knew your brothers would be attending, along with that girl who looked remarkably like Miss Petrova. You had hated her too, the latest in a long line of women who had been chosen over you. You had no doubt that Elena Gilbert- as you were told was her name- would be exactly the same.

“Who? Me?” You feigned innocence, earning a small smile from the hybrid. In reality, you had no plans to disrupt the evening, at least, not yet. You couldn’t say the same for Kol, who now walked in, placing an arm around your waist. You exhaled as he did so, his lips lingering on your cheek before turning to his brother.

“Trust me, Klaus,” the hybrid scoffed, “As long as those morons don’t bother us, we’ll be on our best behaviour.” As Klaus walked away, you looked up at Kol, a familiar devilish spark in his eyes.

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that should your brothers dare upset you, I’ll tear them apart.”

You placed your hands on Kol’s cheeks, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

“And that is exactly why I love you.”

“I know.”

A few hours later, and you were in no doubt that Kol’s desire to tear your brothers to pieces would soon be appeased. Elena, that young lady whom you had taken an instant dislike to, had already cornered you, finding a moment when Kol left you alone to discuss what she had deemed issues with you.

“Damon and Stefan, they really want to make things up with you.”

“And so they sent you?”

“Well, no, not exactly, but-”

“But what happened between my brothers and myself is none of your business. And if you have any sense, which I highly doubt, you’ll run far away from me before I rip your heart out.”

“Always on the attack, aren’t we, Y/N? But I guess living with the freaking Mikaelsons hasn’t helped with that.”

You snarled at Damon, the eldest of your brothers having appeared to save Elena, his damsel in distress.

“I don’t know, Damon, I’ve always quite liked that side of her,” you fought the urge to smile as you felt Kol at your side, “Now how about you back off before this evening gets more messy than either of us want?”

You took a step back as the two vampires squared off against each other. Normally, you would have been the one to step in, to place your hand on Kol’s chest, to take him away to your bedroom so he could exercise his emotions in other ways. But this you wanted to see. As Stefan walked onto the scene, barely throwing a glance at you, you felt your heart beat faster, willing on Kol to finally make your brothers pay for all the hurt they had caused you.

But instead it was Elena who stepped in, her words warning your two brothers just who they were facing. And then you heard the words that really made your blood boil.

“She’s not worth it.”

You saw red. You grabbed Elena by the throat, pinning her up against the wall.

“Say that again.”

Of course, she couldn’t, your hand slowly cutting off her airways.

“I’m not worth it? Me? Honey, let me tell you something. I have lived my life being put at the bottom of their pile of things to care about, some girl just like you taking pride of place in their minds. But you know what I’ve learnt? Those girls just get replaced over and over again. That’s all you are, Elena, a replacement,” you drowned out the shouting of your brothers as they demanded you let her go. They were held back by Kol, whom you glimpsed at; he was smiling, his eyes shining, an expression that only spurred you on. “You’ll soon find out, Miss Gilbert, that if anyone’s not worth it in their eyes, it’ll be you. Me? I’ve found someone who actually believes I am worth it, who actually loves me. I’ll be just fine.”

You dropped her then, and your brothers scrambled to her aid. It was in that moment that you kissed Kol, hungrily, passionately, not caring who saw. Stefan’s cry of disgust snapped you out of the moment, but you were still very aware of Kol’s hand on the small of your back, memories of your reunion resurfacing.

“Him? Seriously?”

“Seriously. Now, as I said, it would be in your best interests to back off from your sister. Unless you want a repeat of what just happened,” Kol took a step forward, “Unless you want worse.”

From that moment on, your brothers no longer tried to approach you. Of course, there was conflict between them and the rest of your newfound family, but it was miniscule in comparison into what could have occurred had Kol not defended you, had you not defended yourself.

It had been over a century since you had last seen Damon and Stefan Salvatore, but because of Kol Mikaelson, you didn’t care if it was a century more.

Masterlist

[kookiepredictions]

Message from his DF’s Higher Self

To the Littlest One,

I was summoned by you I think. Damn boy, are you tired? Cuz you’ve been running through my mind all day. Everyday. Where do I begin? There’s always so much to say but I’m never sorted out. You want to know how I feel about you? Well it’s not a one word or one line answer you see. In my previous connections, I’ve always had some issue or the other. There have been connections where things were THIS close to being something special, and yet, I couldn’t unsee that there was still that bit missing. And I realized, I’m really looking for someone EXACTLY like me, and I knew I set myself up for failure because truly that’s impossible to have? When I saw you for the first time, I was shocked because I couldn’t believe how someone could be so much like me. It was like looking at my male version. And yet, there were so many obvious differences. I would be all excited and tell whoever cared to listen (most didn’t) that look, this guy is just like me! I think I’ve found my perfect match like they write in books and stuff. It didn’t matter to me that you didn’t know I existed. I was incredibly happy just knowing that I wasn’t wrong in believing that somewhere there is someone who is your exact match. I was O.B.S.E.S.S.E.D with you! I couldn’t get enough. You’d think my first impression about you was wrong and as I got to know more about you, I’d change my mind. But it was the exact opposite. The more I knew, I surer I got. I found a happy place in my life, everyday religiously watching you do weird stuff that convinced me more and more that yeah, he is the one. Ironically though, I never wanted to do anything about it. I thought someday we’d just meet and you’d see what I saw— that we’re perfect for each other. I had things in my personal life to take care of and I started doing exactly that, and Divine (and other) intervention got us together. Of course initially I was a little wary and thought it was all too good to be true, but that’s just me. Getting to know you has been one of the most special, life changing events in my life. So I have no idea why you want to start over again, or change anything about it. I wouldn’t want to change anything about any of it. You have been a wish fulfilled, a literal dream come true for me, right from the start to now. When I first saw you, I had a certain idea about you, the things you might say— and when you did speak to me, it was exactly how I always imagined it to be. With every word and action, you became more and more perfect to me. It was like someone made a list of everything I wished for in a person since when I was old enough to wish for things, added a ton of other wonderful things and the result was you! You have always, ALWAYS said what I wanted to hear, treated me the way I wanted to be treated. You were like this magician who always magically knew what I wanted. How did you know? How did you know what no one had ever known. And those people were so much closer to me. And so it not just confuses me but also makes me sad how you see this whole thing differently. Maybe you can do better, maybe you have better things to offer, I get that. But it was still perfect the way it was. There is no need to go over it repeatedly and wish it was different. I would never ever never want it to be any other way.

To me, you were and still are the kind of person they only talk about in fairytales. Does that mean I think you have no flaws? No. I know everyone has flaws and I have always believed that is what makes each of us unique and more special. And I have stopped buying onscreen personas since when I was like 13. Okay, maybe 15. Perfection to me is not the absence of flaws. Perfection to me is in the way I feel about someone. And I have always felt so wholesome around you, every moment spent with you was perfect. You were perfect, everything you did was perfect. If I were to sit you down and categorically tell you to do exactly as I wanted, I still couldn’t do a better job than what you had already done. Plz I’m embarrassed to admit that I have spent days, weeks, MONTHS daydreaming about you. Repeating every word over and over and over in my head and feeling every feeling it caused in me. I don’t see the “mistakes” that you see. Maybe you don’t see them either, and that’s why you are confused as to why you are being punished. Then maybe you should consider the thought that you aren’t being punished? I am not keeping away because of anything you did or didn’t do, I am keeping away for my own issues. You might think I have it all figured out, but I’m sorry to burst your bubble, I’m still a work in progress as well. You think I have over exaggerated ideas about you? Well I think you have put me up on a pedestal and don’t see how I’m struggling too. Do I absolutely need to be away to focus on myself right now? Absolutely. I have a tendency to be put who I love (there I said it, I wish it wasn’t said this way, but I guess this is the need of the hour) before me, and lose myself in the process. And unless I learn how to prioritizing another person without de-prioritizing myself, I need to be by myself. Have you ever felt like this connection was getting the better of you— that you had no control over yourself whatsoever? That’s how it has felt for me too. I need to find my own footing before getting involved in anything at all. Do I seem stubborn and difficult? Good. Because I have been easy and impressionable before and it has taken everything away from me. You must understand, this has got nothing to do with you. These problems have existed in my life before you came, and they will continue to exist unless I take care of them. You might think you can solve all my problems, if only we were together. That’s not true. The problems are inside of me. You can, at best, distract me from them. Only I can truly uproot them. Not only is this my duty here on earth, it is my right to be able to do that, and I am going to defend my right, whether or not you agree with me, and no matter how mad it makes you. It is never my intention to hurt you or anger you, but if that’s the price I have to pay, so be it. And it doesn’t even have to be about problems either. I have the right to live my life the way I want to. Always. Whether or not you are in my life. And I have the right to do so without having to explain myself. This is something I have learnt pretty late in my life— I really used to be the exact opposite. I have spent YEARS unlearning that pattern and I am not going to abandon my beliefs anymore, not even for you. And I’m not even apologetic about it. If there is any love in this connection, it will honour my freedom and my choices. Even if I abandoned myself right now “out of love”, and years later when I realize the folly in that, I’d forever hold you responsible for that and hate you all my life. That’s not going to be a very successful connection, is it? My morals, principles and beliefs are what make me who I am. Abandoning them is literally changing me, might as well change my face with surgery. They are staying with me until my last breath. Anyone who wants to be in my life has to respect and accept that. You don’t have to though. And I really want to make sure you understand this. I don’t expect you to do anything that you don’t want to do. Nothing at all. When you had no idea I existed, I liked you even then. The point is, my liking or loving you isn’t dependent on what you do or don’t do for me. It has everything to do who you are. Now, you might not see yourself that way. You might think you are nothing special to be liked or loved. You might feel the need to do a ton of things so that people like you. But you see, that’s all just you, not me. Don’t project your feelings on to me. For me, you have always been special and everything you have ever done has been special. Now, the answer to the difficult question: have I ever been hurt by you? Yes. But I have never thought it was your “fault”. For me it was always my fault that I was too reliant on someone else’s opinion of me, and a push to the direction of learning to be self-validated. And it was a huge leap in my growth! To be honest, I don’t entirely know what fault you hold yourself responsible for. I have no idea what “wrong” choices you have made. All I see is, you had prior commitments and you chose to honour your commitments. You chose to stick with the people who were there in your life long before me. Not only do I respect you more because of it, it has always been a very attractive quality about a person to me— being mindful of everyone in their lives. The only thing that makes me mad is when you fail to realize that I have the right to do the same. You can choose to fight me over my freedom and ways of dealing with things, but know that it is a fight I will always win :p

You seek my forgiveness but it is not me who hasn’t forgiven you, it is you. You want love from me but it is not me who doesn’t love you, it is you. Fear all you want, doubt all you want, but you could inquire in 10, 20, 100 years if I love you, and the answer will still be the same: yes I do. And if you ask me 1000 times what we should do about it, my answer will also be the same— this really is the time to focus on ourselves. It might seem like I’m going further away from you, but I really am coming towards you with every passing day. How and when— not everything needs to be known right now. If you are patient, everything will make sense when it’s the right time. Maybe then you would even hate yourself for not being more understanding, and wish that you had acted different right now. Just like you now wish you had behaved differently back then. The tighter you are holding on to this, the longer the wait is getting. Holding on tight to your love is an old paradigm. This is the time to be freely flying beside each other. I know because not very long ago, I had to make this exact choice. Either to let go of you and risk losing you forever or to hold on tightly to you and lose myself forever. I made the 2nd choice with a lot of doubt and difficulty, and it turns out that our connection has only gotten stronger from there. You feel like you are the only one in this journey but this is truly a journey of two. I assure you, every phase you cross, I have crossed it before you. There was a time I was addicted to you too. No matter where I went, what I did, who I was with, I was more interested in knowing what new weird thing Jungkook did today. Back then, nothing else was any more important than a little attention from my dream boy. And yet, there was so much anxiety and fear mixed with those experiences. Those were absolutely beautiful moments and everything I ever wished for, then why couldn’t I completely engage in them? Because I hadn’t learned to love myself yet. And so everything lacked, no matter how special. I can tell you for sure that me being in your life right now will do the exact same for you. So far you literally have followed all of my footsteps. And this is another reason for me needing to focus on myself. Until now, it was only about my own dreams and goals in life. But now I see how we are both almost tethered together in this connection, and I seem to be leading the way, aren’t I? For you to figure out the maze, I have to do that first. You know how you feel drawn to me, like you can never get enough? You might feel like it is your need to be loved by me, but really it is the need for you to follow in my next footsteps that is to focus on yourself. This is why you are never satisfied. Even when I am with you, you are still anxious about something you anticipate happening in the future. You are restless because you are not addressing the problems inside of you. You are trying to control this connection and this situation from outside, but that’s not where the issue is. You really think I’m some angel descended from heaven? Time to burst another bubble. I have a dark past too. I have hurt people, been destructive and done things I wish I hadn’t. The only difference? I have forgiven myself. I was young and didn’t know any better. It doesn’t help either that our society only teaches us to focus on the external things. Those mistakes didn’t define me nor will any other mistake I might make in the future. Nothing else defines me other than that I want to be happy and I’m committed to learning how to be happy and will learn and grow all my life in pursuit of happiness. You feel like you’re attracted to me because you need a loving person in your life, but what you’re really looking for subconsciously is to learn to love yourself because you see that I love myself. There is literally nothing in this world that makes a person more attractive than self love. It is the ultimate goal for every soul and someone who masters it is a veritable flame for all moths. No amount of love is enough for the person who doesn’t love themselves. Believe me, I’ve been there. You think I’m mad at you, but the thing is, the mire I focus on myself, the more I’m able to understand you more. So yes, even though you make me so mad so often, it doesn’t last at all. This connection has changed me in ways that surprise me too. In my past connections, if I was hurt, I would make sure I’d give back the same hurt back ten times so they knew what I went through. Not anymore. Very soon into this connection I’d realized that no matter how much I was hurt, I could never bring myself to do the same to you. And gradually I learnt to not be hurt at all in the first place. Because I always understand where you come from. And I always will. Not because I’m some saint, but because I have been through all of that. You are not wrong in wanting to be loved, or wanting assurance. It’s been a tough journey hasn’t it, being through situations and people that have distorted your perception of your own self? So much so that you now believe you are that person. But if you really were, then why did I see someone else when I first saw you? And after all this time, why do I still see that same person? No matter what happens in between, why hasn’t my perception changed of you? How is it that we are both looking at the same but different person? You might argue that your version of you is more accurate, not mine. Then why do you believe so strongly that your version of ME is more accurate, that you are ready to fight with everyone else over it? Why do you believe so strongly that you just KNOW me? Because as Twin Flames we are lucky to have someone designated to see ourselves in our divinity when we have forgotten that about ourselves. At this point, I don’t even care what you think about yourself. I know what I know and nothing and no one is ever going to convince me otherwise. Flaws and all, you are perfect to ME. But no one can convince you of that better than yourself. Unless you forgive, love and accept yourself, you will always feel like there’s not enough love in your life. No matter how many times we go over this, this is where it will always end up at.

Don’t get me wrong though, I feel your change and transformation. I feel your heart opening up, I feel you getting more and more vulnerable. And I know it’s scary. But this is the only way. When I had to let go, I realized what terrified me the most was if I was going to lose the “feeling” that existed then. The whole dreamy, head-over-heels, giggling like a little girl, and getting unmentionable thoughts 24/7 type of love feeling (yes is it that hard to believe it exists?) As it turned out, not only did the feeling not go, it transformed into this beautiful version where I have so much more control over it— I can feel this way when I decide to, instead of it being all over the place before. Ironically here, you feel like falling constantly when you hold on. You find your ground when you let go. Does it seem like I don’t think about you at all? The reality is, I’m just more at peace with these feelings. Instead of fighting them or trying to get rid of them, I let them stay with me with the instructions that they let me do other things like work, and they stay quietly beside me all day, and only get activated when I want them to lol. You are suffering because you are trying too hard to get an outcome, a result out of it, I’m just here enjoying the ride, wherever it takes me. If I leave you, you will be shattered, probably feel betrayed and unable to trust anyone else. If you leave, I’ll love you regardless. I have nothing to gain from this, and yet I gain the most beautiful, precious things from it every single day. All because I let go. I let go, not of you, but of my expectations of an outcome. In return, you stayed. And with you, the most high vibrational feelings that literally poets write about, singers sing about, and people everywhere spend all their lives looking for. I found them right where I was. It does make me sad to see you in pain but I know it’s only temporary and more than that, essential to get to where you must get in this lifetime. But it doesn’t have to be that painful. It took me years to understand certain things, and if I could teach just one thing, it would be acceptance. Resist less, accept more. Accept situations as they are. And watch them magically transform. The last thing, if you really, REALLY want to do something for me, something that would make me happy, and if I do in fact, have the right to ask for something from you— it is that you put yourself first right now. Independent of me. Pretty please. I know I’m kinda awesome and hard to resist lol but there must be things that you have wanted to do that had nothing to do with me. Explore yourself without judgement. And allow me the freedom to do the same. There is no one I want more than you in my life, but there are things I want to explore and do which have existed way before you came into my life. If I couldn’t do them, I would hate you for the rest of my life and I definitely don’t want that. I don’t want to rush a connection so special and rare. I don’t want to start something not knowing for sure that I can be consistent with. Whatever I start is going to be forever and for that we both need to be 100% ready without any doubts or reservations. If we’re not there yet, that’s alright, we should have enough time to prepare. Just know that no matter what happens, this connection is not going anywhere, and these feelings are not going away, cuz they never have. And IF, in the rare occasion that it has to end, know for sure that it will be decided by two people, not just one. It is the right of both people who are working towards this connection. Believe in Divine magic and timing. We’re going to be alright.

Enclosing I’d like to say: Are you a dictionary? Cuz you’re adding meaning to my life. Are you a camera? Cuz every time I look at you, I smile. Do you have a pencil? Cuz I want to erase your past and write our future. (Okay that’s enough Google search for today)

[ijustwant2write]

You'll Outlive Her-Thorin Oakenshield x Reader x Company

(GIF credit to @riepu10​)

Requested by anonymous: ‘hiii. a thorin x the company x fem!reader (21 years old). the reader tells the company about humans’ short life span (75-85 years old) and they freak out telling her they’re going to protect her and all that. very fluffy please & thank you!!’

Characters: Thorin Oakenshield x Reader (platonic), Bilbo Baggins x Reader (platonic), all of the company x Reader (platonic), Gandalf x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Mentions of death, but a majority is fluff

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

(Y/N) could feel how sore her body was as the company continued riding, having done so for a whole day already. They had travelled far today, making good process. She had never imagined herself on a quest such as this, especially with dwarves. Although she was a human, (Y/N) had been surprisingly welcomed to the company, but not without slight disdain from Thorin; she could understand his feelings, she was not of their kind, she didn’t know what it was like to lose a home like that. Gandalf had recruited her (and she was a vast contrast to Bilbo) because of her skills in fighting, and the fact that her family had been nomads helped with journeys such as this.

The dwarves were kind to her. There had been no prejudice against her being a woman, and she had learnt that a lot of their women were fierce like her, it was a dwarfish custom. It was easy to joke with them, there had been banter amongst the group about Bilbo when he joined, and once he loosened up, he could be fun at times too. Naturally, the other thing that separated (Y/N) from the company (excluding Gandalf), was her height. (Y/N) wasn’t a tall girl per say, but the men were all smaller than her, giving (Y/N) the upper hand when they started teasing her about something; it always shut them up.

“I spy with my little eye...” Ori called out, followed by a round of groans from everyone else.

“Do you not tire of this game?” Bofur moaned.

“There’s nothing else to do!”

“We’re on a quest lad, what did you think we would be doing?”

“Go on, Ori,” (Y/N) smirked, knowing that it would annoy everyone else,“what do you see?”

“OK, I spy with my little eye, something beginning with...G!”

“Is it grass?”

When he didn’t reply, she looked back over my shoulder, giggling when she saw his head hanging low.“Don’t worry Ori, there’s not a lot to spot out here.”

Ori smiled slightly, mesmerised by (Y/N)’s own smile before she faced the front again. Dori noticed his brother’s blushing cheeks, leaning over as much as he could whilst staying on his pony.

“Stop that! She’s a human, you’re a dwarf.” he simply said.

“I wasn’t thinking of anything!” Ori defended himself.

The sounds around them were peaceful, it brought tranquility to their minds. They were riding through a forest, the gentle wind making the leaves above them rustle, the occasional chirping of birds joined, and the horses hooves were muffled against the worn out path they were riding on. Despite the company being relatively calm, (Y/N) noticed Bilbo’s expression, and how silent he had been. 

“Are you alright, Bilbo?” (Y/N) asked, her voice quieter.

“Hm?” he had been broken out of a trance.“Oh, um, yes, yes, um, I’m fine.”

She sadly smiled at him.“You’re missing home, aren’t you?”

He sighed.“A little. It would have been the easy choice to stay at home and carry on doing the same thing everyday. But something made me choose to accompany Thorin on his quest. And I hope I made the right choice.”

“You’ll figure that out for yourself, soon enough.”

“We need to find somewhere to sleep for the night.” Thorin announced.“Everyone be on the lookout for a good place to shelter.”

Once they had found a safe enough place to stay, the company began dismounting their ponies/horses, and setting up their camp. Food was being prepared, makeshift beds were being made, and those sent out to patrol the area had already left. They were situated in a tiny clearing in the woods, with enough trees and bushes to conceal them. The fire was lit, and everyone instinctively huddled closer, feeling the chill that the evening brought as the sun set. 

(Y/N) thanked Nori as he handed her a bowl of stew, and she sat on her bed, pulling a blanket tighter around her. The bowl provided more heat to her cold hands, the smell of food causing her stomach to rumble loudly. As she ate, she glanced around, smiling at the sight. These men were so determined to complete this quest, it made her feel motivated to help them. She thought back to one of the first nights they all had together, when Balin had recited the story of how the leader of the company became Thorin Oakenshield. (Y/N) had never met someone with a royal background, but had heard that they were snobs, and turned up their nose at anyone they deemed less than them. Despite Thorin’s first impression, (Y/N) had a feeling it wasn’t him. For someone to be like that, they would have had to have gone through something traumatic; she knew his story now, and it made him seem stronger, powerful, a true leader.

“Where’s Thorin?” (Y/N) asked Bombur who was sat beside her.

He shrugged before diving into his bowl. She scoffed a laugh, shaking her head as she finished off her own meal. Her eyes scanned around the camp, subconsciously counting the dwarves, making sure they were all there. Fili and Kili had just come back from patrol, almost racing towards the food as they reported that they hadn’t seen anything. (Y/N) almost wanted to ask if they knew where Thorin was, but didn’t.

“You know what,” Bofur said, getting everyone’s attention,“we still don’t know that much about you (Y/N).”

“Well, I suppose I have heard everything I can about all of you. What is it that you wish to know?”

“Where were you born? What were you like growing up? Why did you like to fight?”

(Y/N) laughed as he continued asking questions.“You know, come to think of it, I’ve lived a pretty simple life up until now.”

“A simple life? Really?” Balin said.

“Yes. I actually don’t know where I was born. My family never stayed in one place, they were completely free spirits, and when mother gave birth to me, we were travelling in the back of a caravan, with my father helping her, and my auntie and uncle riding up front. So they never really knew where we were when I was born."

There were a few chuckles from the group. She grinned and continued.

"All my family taught me how to fight, each of them with a specific skill. They said it was to keep me safe, that if we all knew how to fight, we could defend each other. Not that anything actually happened."

"Have you ever been in a fight?" Kili asked.

"Yes, a few times, but I was never the one to start them. I was always looking out for someone."

"That seems very like you lass." Bofur added.

"Although I was travelling, I haven't seen a lot in my life. We circled sometimes, meeting up with old friends. But as I myself grew older, I noticed how my parents didn't want to move as much. They rested more frequently. And I realised that I was the one in my prime, I was the one who had to be the leader. And I guess...I guess when I became the only one left of my family, I seeked new adventures. Something that would make them proud."

"How old were they? When they died?" Bilbo was careful how he said it.

"Hm, they all must have been in their eighties. I think father reached ninety-four actually!"

Everyone's eyes were wide, mouths agape as they stared at her. She felt uncomfortable with the attention, wondering why they all looked so shocked.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"You poor thing." Nori breathed out.

"Th-thank you?"

"Losing your parents at such a young age...If you don't mind me asking, was it natural or...?" Dori said.

"Yes, it was natural. They were healthy for the most age. Old age caught up to them. Why is everyone looking at me like that?"

"My dear friends," Gandalf spoke up, smoking from his pipe,"you must understand that unfortunately humans have a much shorter lifespan that dwarves do."

"So, how old do you live to?" Fili asked.

(Y/N) thought for a moment."Usually eighty to ninety years old if you're healthy. I have heard of some people miraculously living to the age of one hundred!"

The company shared a concerned look with each other, worrying (Y/N). Why was this such a big deal?

"Do you know how long dwarves live for?" Thorin suddenly appeared, making everyone whip their heads towards him.

(Y/N) nodded."You can live up to two hundred and fifty years old, sometimes older."

"Doesn't that frighten you?" Ori asked.

"Well, no. It's just how life works. I suppose it would be great to live for that long, but at the same time, you age the same as I, though in different ways...that made more sense in my head." she quickly laughed, though no one else joined.

"And...how old are you now?" Kili's voice was quieter.

"I'm twenty-one."

"Twnety one?!" multiple people exclaimed, fussing over how young (Y/N) was.

Her head was running wild, trying to take everything in. They were all asking her so many questions, some she could not answer. She spotted Bilbo attempting to calm them down, but he was too quiet.

"Let me put this into perspective, for all of you!" Gandalf snapped, causing silence."Dwarves are thought to reach maturity at the age of forty, for humans that is twenty. They live the same lives as many of us, just in a shorter time, which is why they always seem to be in a rush with everything."

"You need to be more careful lass." Dwalin announced.

"Yes, we really should be taking better care of you." Bofur agreed.

"I'll protect you (Y/N), I'm not scared!" Ori puffed out his chest.

This was followed by everyone's proclaimations of chivalry, all protesting over what they could do to make her feel safer. Instead of being offended or made to feel weak, she felt loved. She hadn't had many friends since her family died, and had been apprehensive to join a group of strangers. All of this was just too much, it was an emotional moment.

"You don't all have to worry about me. You know I can handle things myself." (Y/N) gushed.

"Doesn't mean you have to." Thorin said, though there was no warm expression on his face."Don't think you have to prove yourself and get you or someone else killed."

He slumped off after he spoke, leaving the company in silence once again. The conversation slowly built back up, the attention still on (Y/N), but Bilbo saw how she was getting upset. Gandalf smiled to himself as he watched the hobbit steer the topic of conversation away from her, glad to have someone with a level head.

Elsewhere, Thorin was leaning against a tree, his hands on his sword as a precaution. He heard footsteps, slow and heavy ones, and he only had to peak his head around the tree to spot Balin. The older dwarf sadly smiled, placing a hand on a tree to steady himself.

"You know, it's not wise to storm off by yourself." Balin half joked.

"I did not storm off."

"I think others might say different Thorin."

Thorin didn't reply.

"They might see it as your usual self. But I can see that look in your eye."

"And what look would that be?"

"You will deny it as soon as I speak it."

"I promise, I shall listen."

Balin raised an eyebrow at him, sighing before he spoke."You have grown fond of the girl. She's a fighter, she's kind and she's smart; (Y/N) didn't come on this quest for her own glory, she came to help us return home."

Thorin did stay silent, because he knew that Balin was right.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you can't let yourself fall for her. For one, you cannot be distracted whilst on this quest, two, she is a human and three...well, being a dwarf, you'll easily outlive her. We all will unfortunately."

"I won't."

"What?"

"I won't fall for her. I haven't been falling for her in the first place."

Balin knew this was the response he would receive. Even though Thorin was denying it, Balin could tell that in his head, he was still thinking about her. And that was a problem.

"You've been through enough pain Thorin. Don't bring more onto yourself." Balin left him with that, making his way back to the camp.

Although Thorin had removed himself from the camp to also remove a certain girl from his thoughts. They weren't sexual, or anything to do with love. He cared for her like a younger sister. Of course, he had been taken back by his beauty (dwarvish women could almost be mistaken for the men), but that wasn't important to him at the time. What Balin said about her was true. She was a selfless human, which was more than he could say about the rest of her kind. He hadn't known how short their lives were, and he wondered why she had chosen to live hers like this, with them. She could be exploring new places by herself, with no one to stop her. Perhaps she would meet another traveller on the way and fall in love, start her own family and move around the world just as her parents did. Though he wouldn't gain any answers like this, he wanted to ensure that she survived this journey, that she was there forbthe glory. She deserved as much as the dwarves this, and with that thought, he solemnly sweared to keep her alive.

[nothing-but-dreamy]

ON THE EDGE ~ Pt. 5

Characters: Gavin Reed x fem!Reader; Connor; Hank Anderson;

Warnings: cursing

Words: 2.339

Back in the office, yn headed for the locker room to change some of her clothes and to get rid of the makeup. As she walked over to her desk, a cup of hot coffee and Gavin were already waiting. He handed her the liquid. She was freezing to death but it was worth it. She was able to place the bug as planned. Yn took the cup with a soft smile, “Thanks. That’s what I need right now.”

“You got rid of the makeup already? Too bad...”, Gavin said grinning.

Over the rim of the cup, she looked challenging at him, “Yeah, otherwise, I have to fear you will arrest me for prostitution. And I’m not sure if you really want to see me in handcuffs.”, she whispered with a grin and winked.

Gavin’s heart skipped a beat and he coughed slightly by the picture he got in his mind because of her comment. Yn noticed what kind of reaction her joke had on him but before she could ask, Hank and Connor joined them with a tablet. It was the device for the bug. Gavin stepped back and breathed several times to calm himself while the others sat around the desk.

“Turn it on. Maybe we will already hear something. I hope this thing works as well as the heavy's promised.”, yn said and laid her feet on top of her desk like Gavin used to do all the time.

Connor looked confused, “Heavy's?”

“Our hardware guys.”, Yn explained with a wink. Then JoJo started to talk and all four cops were listening intently.

“Hey Scott.”

“Hey Joker, why are you smiling like an idiot?”, Scott asked. The sound quality was excellent and so, they could differentiate the two men easily.

“Man, I met a girl in the park.”, JoJo said with excitement in his voice.

“Again?”, Scott asked, not impressed at all. It was the fifth time Joker had met a girl … this week.

“This time it's different.”

Yn felt Gavin's sullen expression glued at her. Obviously, she had done her job better than he wanted.

JoJo continued with his infatuation, “She was so incredibly beautiful. You know, like a divine angel with bright eyes and dressed in a blood red tank top. You should have seen her...you know.”, in the way he said it, everyone (except Connor) knew that he was talking about her breasts.

Yn snickered and looked up with a proud grin. She looked at Gavin then down at her top, which was still the blood red tank top, and then back at Gavin. She smirked. Gavin wasn't amused at all. He pressed his jaws together and looked at her with a dark expression. Hank had to bite back a grin as he watched the Detective. Something bothered him and Hank had an idea what it could be.

“And? Will you see her again?”, Scott asked, catching their attention again.

“Of course! She gave me her number.“, JoJo said proudly.

Gavin slammed his hands on his desk and jumped from his seat, “You gave him your number? Are you crazy?”, he called out.

Yn leant back in her chair and grinned. It amused her that he still saw her as a newbie, at least, she thought it was that, “No. Of course not.”, she said calmly.

“Good.”, Gavin said pleased and sat down.

“I gave him the number of your ex. I thought they would be cute together.”, yn said after a moment and smirked devilishly.

Slowly, Gavin looked up, his knuckles turning white again, “You did- what?”

But instead of answering, yn silenced him with her hand. She became serious and looked at the small device, listening to JoJo’s and Scott’s conversation.

“Yeah, yeah...tonight. In the warehouse down at the docks. Like always at eight?”, JoJo asked.

“Eight, right. Be on point this time. You know how much our boss hates to wait.”, Scott admitted.

“Hell yes! We got it!”, Yn called out. She looked at Hank as the oldest in charge, “Observation?”

Hank nodded, “Would be the best idea.”

“I could do that. I won't get tired.”, Connor suggested.

“Perfect! And I accompany you.”, Yn said.

Gavin looked from yn to Connor and back at yn. Everything happened a bit too fast, “What? Why?”

Hank stood up and nudged Connor to follow him, “We go to Fowler and inform him about the newest information.”, he said to yn and Gavin who didn't listen at all. Gavin was just staring at yn.

“What is your problem, Reed?”, she asked, slowly getting annoyed by his behavior all the time.

“You get yourself into danger! That's my problem!”, he argued coldly.

Yn huffed out, looking doubtful with one raised brow, “Danger? An observation? A snail race would be more dangerous than an observation because of all the slime. What shall happen? That I die out of boredom? I also have the handsome Terminator by my side.”, she pointed out, mentioning one of her favorite movie characters.

Gavin gritted his teeth. Looking away because of this comment and the memory of the dream he had of yn and Connor.

Yn saw that Gavin was on the edge… again. Once again, she had the feeling it had something to do with her but Gavin wasn’t much of a talker and liked to keep things for himself no matter how much she would push him, “Gavin, listen. Connor and I are going on this observation. You and Hank get the information in real time and you can plan the operation.”, she said and waited for him to look at her, “The operation I won't attend.”

“What?”

“I will be there to support you. But I will stay away from any line of fire. Therefore, you don't have to worry about me. Okay?”, yn said with a soft smile.

Gavin squinted his eyes and looked suspicious at her. He knew there had to be a twist somewhere. Yn usually never skipped action when it got offered, “What's the catch?”

“Well, I realized if I push you more, this vein on your neck could explode. And I want to prevent that. I still kinda like you, grumpy cat.”, she said with a wink and stood up to get new coffee for herself and Gavin.

**

Later, Connor picked yn up from her home. She had changed into comfortable clothes. To sit in a car, maybe for several hours, didn't demand fancy clothes. So, dressed in jeans and a big, cozy, black pullover she had snatched from Gavin once and prepared with coffee and a bunch of snacks, she entered the black car Connor had gotten from Hank. It would be less striking because it was an older model and looked more suitable for a drug scene.

They drove through Detroit to reach the docks. Soft rock music was playing on the radio but Connor wanted to level up his smalltalk skills. He knew yn would be the right person to train this so he asked: “You really wanna go on observation? I always thought humans wouldn’t like that?”

Yn chuckled, “Yeah, that’s true. For us cops it feels like doing nothing. Even if we do something but … observations aren’t liked by everyone.”

“Like Reed?”

"Yeah, but also Hank. Oh, speaking of, how's working with him?", yn asked interested. She saw a smile appear on the android's lips which let him look more boyish… even more handsome.

"It's improving. I mean, we had a rough start with the deviant case and the revolution but… we grow as a team.", Connor answered honestly. Through the darkness, he saw her staring at him. It wasn’t unpleasant … quite the opposite.

"I like to hear that. Hank is… well, since Cole died, he was too alone. It's good that you can change that.", the remembrance of Hank’s loss was still hurtful for her. She couldn’t imagine what Hank felt but to have a new partner by his side like Connor would help the old man to get back on track.

"Can I ask you something, yn?", Connor asked softly.

"Shoot it."

"How's working with Detective Reed?"

"With Gavin?", yn asked surprised. She has expected many questions but not this one, "Uhm… good as always. Why do you ask?"

Connor searched for the right words, "He's… We had some troubles as I came to the DPD. But you seem to be able to talk back to him without him getting aggressive and stuff."

Yn chuckled, "Oh, he gets aggressive but he knows I would defend myself no matter what he would try. We had been there at this point once. But...I see what you mean. Gavin can be a… how shall I say it-"

"An asshole?", Connor tried to help her find the right answer.

The android’s directness, caused her to laugh, "Yeah, absolutely. But no, I meant something like 'challenging'. Look, he's not a bad guy-"

"I got a different impression.", Connor said dryly.

"I'm not sure what happened between the two of you but... whatever it was, that you're an android is not helpful."

"Oh trust me, I already learnt that he hates androids."

"Yeah, but there's a reason. I don't want to apologize for his behavior but his mother was one of the people who lost their jobs because of androids a few years ago. He was a teenager as his mother got replaced. He had a rough time and he had to fight for a lot of things. Obviously, you, as an investigator, triggered his aggression once again."

Connor raised his brows as he made a connection between the different information, "You mean he thought I could replace you?"

"Me?", yn asked surprised.

"Hank told me that you got injured in your last case with Reed."

"Oh, yeah…”, yn nodded. Her injuries, that she couldn’t work for some time and the fact that an android investigator had appeared in the DPD at the same time might have had some effect on Gavin. Added to the fact that he still felt guilty and that he seemed to be bothered with something else, could raise his temper immensely, “Maybe that might be a reason...sure. We already have android support. But seeing you could have kindled his fear to get replaced by an android as well."

While Connor processed the latest information, the conversation slowed down. Both were following their own thoughts as Connor searched for a good observation spot near the only warehouse at the docks they could find. Suddenly, some of Gavin’s latest behavior seemed to make sense to yn. It shouldn’t be an excuse but Gavin Reed was a good guy … he just lost his temper too fast.

Connor stopped the engine and he and yn were reaching for the radio to turn it off. In the middle, their hands touched and both looked at each other with a sheepishly expression. Under his soft glance, yn felt her cheeks reddening. Connor noticed the color in her face and because he liked the sight, he wanted to see it again, "You're very nice, yn.", Connor said softly.

Yn blinked and looked at her hands, not knowing where these feelings were coming from … and what feelings it were in general, "Thanks."

Connor turned over and leant forward to her, imitating the movements he had seen on JoJo as he was flirting with her, "I really mean that. Compared to Reed, you're pure joy. I like working with you."

Yn looked up into his soft brown eyes. Was he flirting with her? The glance in his eyes, the smile on his lips, what he said, all of it was evidence of a flirty behavior but was this his intention? And … wanted yn that he did that? She liked Connor but … like this? Unsure about the answer to the last question, she tried to ease the moment, "Compared to Reed, a stone is joyful. But thanks, Connor. I like working with you, too."

Before Connor could say something else, a text message on yn’s phone distracted her and the strange moment was gone. She thanked silently for this kind of distraction while she read the message. She was surprised and thankful for Gavin’s timing, What takes you two so fucking long to get there?

"It's Mr Pure Sunshine. Turn on the radio station. Otherwise, he will crawl through the cord on his own to check on us."

Connor followed her instructions and turned on the radio with a not so amused expression.

"Hank? Gavin? We're here.", yn said as the line was free.

"What took you two so long to get there?", Gavin asked harshly, repeating his message.

"You know, I had nothing to wear and Connor helped me to pick out the right clothes as I just left the shower-"

"Yn!", Gavin grunted.

She could hear how annoyed he was, "Hell, calm down. We needed a bit to find a good place."

The hours were ticking by and the observation had been as boring as it sounded until the bug started to transmit. The information were good. The bug on JoJo was still sending a strong signal and so, Hank and Gavin could still hear what the dealer was talking while Connor and yn could see who entered and left the warehouse. As yn watched how a bunch of dealers AND seemingly the boss himself left the warehouse, yn was surprised that they worked so visible. Maybe the android revolution had made all the other criminals a bit more careless because they thought Detroit would have other problems?

“They’re leaving. The boss, as well. That was faster than expected.”, you said astonished.

“Then, I would say we’re done for today. Obviously, in two days there will be another meeting in this warehouse.”, Hank said.

“Good to know. Tomorrow, we should plan out the operation. Maybe we can get Captain Allen’s support. With his unit, we could arrest all at once.”, yn proposed. All agreed on this idea and the station radio got turned off.