#been a while since i last rambled here haha

[neo-shitty]

🦷.

[melverie]

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

[mysumeow]

. . . ꒰ TO LURE IN

ᓚᘏᗢ WARNINGS: Reader is described with AFAB genitalia and breasts, referred to with you/your. YANDERE CHARACTER. Kidnapping, mild descriptions of injuries and blood. As for sexual content: piv unprotected sex, reader on top, restraints (ropes used on reader), thighjob. Kinich takes a dominant role. Not proofread 🙈. Art by 0_0himawa

ᓚᘏᗢ SUMMARY: You suspect Kinich's not taking care of himself well. Used to looking out for him since childhood, you decide to find out by yourself the truth.

ᓚᘏᗢ WORD COUNT: 3.6k

Ajaw’s fame preceded him.

Rude, spiteful, and tactless, to be precise. The “Almighty Dragon” lived for pushing his companion’s buttons as far as possible, making fun of him, and expressing his desire for him to perish soon.

That’s the reason why you didn’t believe Ajaw when he “informed” you Kinich put himself in harm’s way on purpose so you would heal his wounds.

Your reaction was to obviously scoff at him and disregard his stupid statement.

“I still remember that time you tried to trick people into jumping off a cliff without a rope. I wouldn’t believe a word that comes from someone like you.”

“Fine! Allow yourself to be manipulated by this moron, be my guest!” Ajaw mouthed off in his typical Ajaw style. “Your puny human brain won’t let you see the obvious signs!”

Kinich was unfazed by the self-proclaimed dragon lord, used to his antics. “Shut up, or I’ll put you in time out. Do you want that?”

While they were bickering, you assessed his physique.

Overall, he was fine. However, he came back with gashes on his left arm. They were dripping with blood, and yet he was more focused on trying to quiet Ajaw down.

“Though target this time?” You gently held his wounded arm to get a clear view of how deep it was. Contrary to last time you cured a begrudging Kinich, this one was longer.

“It’s barely anything to get worried about. I was going to cure it myself before coming here, but I got caught up with something before I could,” he said, moving his arm away from your touch, not deeming the help necessary. “This happens all the time.”

“Knowing you, you’ll just go on with your day. Come here, let me help you.”

You expected Kinich to resist again, but he didn’t. He followed you into your home and waited for you to come back with whichever supply you needed to heal him. Kinich observed you in silence, his half-lidded eyes surveyed your every movement as if you were his next hunt while you rinsed the wounds and whatnot to disinfect them.

It was hard to concentrate with him staring at you.

“You’re lucky those aren’t deep enough to need stitches.” You eased the tension and backed away with a step. “I don’t know how you got those cuts, but be more careful.”

“It was caused by an oversight of mine. Not a common occurrence for me,” he looked down at the gauze wrapped around his arms. “I thought the trap I set for the yumkasaur was stable, and when I got close to it, it lunged its claws at me.” 

Ajaw, who was silent up until now, quipped back with, “Yeah, not a common occurrence for a seasoned hunter to make such a rookie mistake!”

In the blink of an eye, he was gone. Kinich sent him to Ajaw Jail.

“I’m sorry if he gave you a headache with all that shouting.”

“I’m used to it. When he talks, I kind of zone out, haha.”

Kinich chuckled. “That’s how I deal with his ramblings most of the time, too.”

As much as you enjoyed Kinich’s company, the sun was setting and you both had work to do the next morning. The pleasant encounter had to be cut short.

The following couple of weeks, Kinich stopped visiting you for injury-related motives. Given you’ve been close since childhood, it wasn’t uncommon for you two to visit each other every so often. 

You were starting to wonder about his sudden lack of visits, until he appeared in front of your doorstep suddenly. He wasn’t alone, though. 

“Smack some reason into him, please.” Mualani begged, making it sound like the missing piece to understand Kinich’s psyche was you. “I had to drag him all the way here before he died from blood loss. He didn’t want to come.” 

“You’re exaggerating,” was everything he had to say in his favor. “I just didn’t want to cause an inconvenience.”

The poor fabric of his upper clothes was torn apart with a clean cut across his chest. Lacerations caused by saurians were different. This one? It was kindred to the result of a dagger or another man-made weapon. You recalled Ajaw’s insistence on Kinich’s growing carelessness.

“Hey, are you okay?” Mualani interjected, concerned by your abrupt silence.

“Ah, yes, I’m fine.” You shook your head out of your thoughts and walked closer to Kinich to have a good look at him.

“Okay, then. It’s just, for a moment, you seemed antsy…” Your friend’s troubled expression relaxed, and, at your assurance, she went back to her bubbly mood. “We’ve been witnesses to worse wounds than that. Especially you, since you’re a doctor.”

“No doubt about it,” you nodded and went back to Kinich. “I’ll have to stitch this. This one has been one of the worst I’ve seen you come back with. What it a miscalculation?”

“It wasn’t a miscalculation. I was commissioned by someone, and when I got to the place they requested, I was ambushed.”

“You were outnumbered in combat, and yet all they got to inflict on you was this? That’s impressive, I’ve got to say,” Mualani nodded along with Kinich’s story.

You led Kinich to his usual seat, and you got to work.

“Kinich’s a seasoned warrior,” you couldn’t help but praise. “However! If you must retreat, then retreat! It’s not worth your effort trying to put some bitter folks in their place.”

“Mmh.”

“You better listen to the doctor’s advice, Kinich! I won’t forgive you if you keep putting the doctor under stress,” Mualani sighed and crossed her arms, contemplative, before she looked at you. “You’ve always been taking care of Kinich, since you both were children. I value your patience.”

Once your handiwork was ready, you gave your patient a word of caution.

“You should rest for the following three weeks, or else your wound could open again.”

For some reason, Kinich was taken aback by your instructions. He blinked twice, analyzing what you just said.

“I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“Put them on hold. Three weeks,” you insisted and placed your hands on his forearms, Kinich’s eyes locked on yours.

“Alright.” With a resigned tone, he agreed and got ready to leave.

Mualani stayed for a little longer.

“You said you had to drag him here? Why?” You couldn’t help but wonder. Now that he was gone, it was your time to question.

“You know how he is. He isn’t fond of receiving help from anyone, and he was convinced he could deal with it himself.”

“Mualani… I’m worried about him. Ajaw mentioned something about Kinich being inattentive on purpose during his hunts. I found it hard to believe because: why would he have a reason to do that? And second, I don’t trust Ajaw.”

She stayed in contemplative silence for a second. “You’re right, that’s unlike him. Hm… I’ll keep an eye on him for you.”

“Thank you,” you felt a bit more at ease. “It’s getting late. You should head home and rest.”

“You should rest too. See you.” She smiled and waved a hand at you.

To rest, it was something you wanted to do. Nonetheless, your worry regarding Kinich wouldn’t allow it. You paced back and forth, trying to figure out whether you were overthinking or whether your unease had an actual foundation.

You supposed Kinich’s line of work was prone to lesions, even if talking about someone experienced. There were factors that one simply can’t have under control always. He wasn’t one to come back this bruised and damaged this often. 

Maybe something was bothering him? Was something keeping him up at night? That could explain his lack of attention during the day.

The more you pondered about it, the more uncertainty grew with it. You were antsy and thus decided to go see him. You had a hunch something wrong was about to happen, and you couldn’t ignore the feeling. 

He had to be home. If he really heeded your instructions, then he should be there.

The lights in his house were off. He was probably in bed already.

You felt silly. You were fretting over nothing.

As you were about to head back to your house, footsteps caught your attention.

The urge to question him about what he was doing outside instead of resting was strong, however…

You decided it was a better idea to limit yourself to observation.

Despite Kinich’s forwardness, he could be reticent about opening up about certain things. Since you’ve known him for a good portion of your life, you suspected that if you were to outright ask him about what was going on with him recently, he would try to convince you nothing was amiss.

And thus, this was how you found yourself following him in the dead of night. Concealed in complete darkness, and said darkness became more apparent once you were out of the comfort of human inhabited areas. The thought of turning back was tempting, but your resolve for answers was sturdier.

You followed him into the forest and made sure to keep up with him as much as possible. Thankfully, Kinich’s stride was tranquil the whole time. He arrived at a clearing and sat his bags down. You stayed behind the foliage and noticed he brought with him a camping tent.

You didn’t know the details of how exactly he plans his hunts, but you surmised that perhaps this camping arrangement had something to do with it.

So, he wasn’t planning on resting.

“You—”

Before you could finish your reprimand, you stepped on something that awoke a contraption. In the blink of an eye, a rope quickly secured around your ankle, leaving you upside down.

At the sound, Kinich was swift on his feet and found you.

“…”

“…”

“What are you doing?”

“Does it look like I’m having fun here? Help me already!” You were flustered.

He took a Swiss knife out of his pocket to cut the rope. He caught you in time and didn’t suffer harm.

“Now, will you answer my question?” He placed you back on the ground gently.

You exhaled, making your stress clear. “You’ve been acting strange as of late. Plus, I wanted to make sure you would take a break and allow your wounds to heal. That’s why…”

“You stalked me?” He finished for you.

“I was worried, okay?” You huffed, feeling the rise in heat on your face again. By definition, he was right. That didn’t mean it was any less embarrassing for you.

“Pfft—”

Kinich, whose face was in his usual serious expression, switched to a smile. He covered his mouth as he chuckled; for some reason, he’d found amusement in your confession.

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just—” His soft laughter died down a bit, allowing him to speak. “I knew you were following me.”

You gaped at him.

“I wanted to see how you would try to explain yourself. Again, I’m sorry. Both for poking fun at you and for making you worry.”

“If you think a simple apology’s enough for my forgiveness, you’re wrong. I’m going back home.”

He grabbed your wrist before you could take another step away. “You won’t make it. You’ll get lost. Stay with me.”

Kinich’s watchful eyes glinted with intent under the moonlight.

“There’s enough space for the two of us in there.” He began setting the tent up with ease. He was used to sleeping outdoors and knew how to set it up with little hindrance.

“Hey, where’s Ajaw? I haven’t seen him today.”

“In timeout.”

Whereupon it was ready for use, he waited for you to get in before he zipped the entrance behind him.

For reduced space like this, the tent inside looked comfortable.

“Huh, this is more spacious than what I expected. Do you often…?”

Your voice lowered in surprise when you saw him slide his jumpsuit off, leaving him in the black clothes he wore under it. Was he really going to undress with you in here?

“You were saying?”

“Uhm. I was going to ask if you often camp outside to complete hunting commissions...”

“Whenever I deem it necessary. For example, if I think the target will give me more trouble than other ones,” he undid his headband and folded it next to his discarded jumpsuit. Kinich without his headband, was a rare sight, one that you didn’t mind being a witness to.

“Oh. So, this target you’re going after, is it more challenging?”

His eyes fixed on you for a second, inspecting you. “It is. Also, are you going to sleep like that?”

You haven’t even shrugged your coat off.

Well, of course you wouldn’t. But... you thought maybe it would be a better idea to wait for him to turn the lamp off, at least.

While you were contemplating, Kinich undid the harness and took his upper clothes off in a swift motion.

“Ah! Careful when you rise your arms!” You went to check that the suture didn’t open. “Aren’t you in pain? You did move quite brutishly there,”  

“It does hurt,” albeit his words, he didn’t show discomfort the instance your fingers trailed close to the suture.

“I didn’t know you wore a second pair of pants under that jumpsuit. You’re going to give yourself a heatstroke,” you chastised him in an attempt to ignore your racing heart. “What if you get in real trouble and I’m not in the village if you need me?”

It wasn’t unusual for him to be silent, but this one went on for a second longer. That was the impression you got. It prompted you to meet his unyielding gaze, words abandoned at the back of your throat.

 Kinich leaned in, a soft kiss that feathered on your lips. You found purchase by placing your hands on his shoulders as the intensity heightened. You couldn’t ignore the softness of his lips, or the way his hands traveled down the small of your back, or how he stopped breathing while he devoured your mouth—mind set on stealing your breath away. The absolute appetite enraptured you as he chased your lips and tongue.

A momentary halt was necessary for him to rid you of your clothes. You watched him pull your coat off, to then redirect his attention to the buttons of your shirt. When the time to remove your lower garments arrived, you tried to give him a hand; however, Kinich interrupted your attempt by summoning one of his ropes to tie your wrists over your head. The same green ropes you would see him use when he wanted to grapple quickly to a high place, the ones he mastered after the attainment of his Vision.

You shot him an inquisitive glance.

“Seeing you like this turns me on a lot.”

“Kinich!” you were baffled. You didn’t expect him to be this forward about his desires.

“Sorry. Too blunt? Then…” in thought, he put a finger on his chin. “The sight of your bare body at my mercy is a delectable view that...turns me on.”

Typical Kinich. He doesn’t know how to be tactful.

He hooked his thumbs under your underwear and discarded it. Now that there were no barriers between your body and his, his hand continued to its destination: between your legs.

First, he collected your juices on his thumb before he toyed with your clit, rubbing it in circles as he noted each little jolt and twitch he provoked on you. You whined his name, wishing you could reach out to him and tease his body like he was doing to yours.

“You should untie me. It should be me taking care of you,” you said, remembering his stitches.

“Later.”

“Later? Oh—”

Kinich had grabbed your thighs and parted them with unprecedented strength. Open and ready for him, Kinich slipped his dick in between your thighs and pushed them close again. At his own leisure, he jutted his hips forward, getting off with them. A rapid buildup of precum formed on the tip, droplets of it slid down his member after some minutes.

The back-and-forth movements stimulated your clit, causing your pussy to clench around nothing. Sighs and soft moans escaped from his mouth and he threw his head back, his Adam’s apple bobbed. 

The pace he set became faster and the grip on your skin tighter.

“Hey. Gently. The stitches…!” you babbled, hanging on to that sliver of clarity amidst the pleasure.

Your warning did little to deter him from chasing the high he was after. The tent filled with the sounds of his lower body smacking into yours with a hasty need; you weren’t used to seeing Kinich fall victim to his impulses. If he maintained that angle and pace, you would come anytime soon.

Which happened. You arched your back off the bed, and your legs came to wrap around him, keeping his body flush to yours. With a sharp inhale, Kinich’s movement ceased, eyebrows deeply furrowed as he did his best to not follow you after your orgasm. He wanted to be inside of you, after all.

You register the rustling of sheets while he adjusts your positions.

He grabbed your hips to place you on top of him, his back against the bed.

Through half-lidded eyes, he peers at you with unbridled hunger. The way he leered at your body, at the hickeys and bite marks left behind... Against odds, your libido reignited.

The head of his cock nudged into your entrance; a hitched moan escaped you. You were sensitive after your first orgasm, after all. Your flesh might be tender, but the desire didn’t die down yet. You were thankful that Kinich waited for you, hands patiently in place on your hips.

You relaxed your muscles and sank further down on his dick. Your pussy stretched around it, slick and ready for his size. His fingers dug deeper into you when you did, and despite Kinich’s effort to preserve his controlled expressions, the heaved breath he exhaled betrayed him.

Kinich’s cock filled you pleasantly, stroking at every pleasant spot inside of you. His grasp on your hips moved to your tits to pinch your nipples with his thumbs and forefinger.

“Please…Kinich. Untie me,” you panted. “I want to touch you, too.”

“You can already touch me, even with those binding you.” To show you what he meant, he led your hands towards his sweaty abdomen, your palms flat against it. You could feel his muscles tense and flex like that, rise and fall to meet your hips.

You wanted more than that. Why was he being cruel?

You pleaded again.

This time, Kinich was considerate and untied you.

“Ah—fuck—” he gasped when you rode him faster.

He kept his fingers stroking on your clit. When that sought climax happened, you keened and came around his cock. At last, that urge was satisfied. Kinich’s arms wrapped around you to bring your torso towards him while he came, thrusting with conviction and shooting his cum inside. 

Kinich didn’t let go, his toned arms kept you in a hug. He didn’t pull out yet either; the thought didn’t cross his mind. The proximity of your bodies—addicting to him, he wasn’t ready to release you.

Your exhaustion caused you to fall asleep almost immediately.

The next morning, you stirred awake.

Your joints ached. Well, other parts of your body ached, to be honest. That wasn’t what bothered you in this moment, but the sensation of...

Where were you?

At the realization that you were no longer in the comfort of the tent or in the position you slept in last night, you panicked.

You recognized this place. It was Kinich’s house. Your inspection traveled to the ropes that restricted your wrists and ankles.

“Good morning, Kinich,” you heard the voice of someone outside. “I stopped by here yesterday, but you weren’t here. Were you hunting?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, I see. I should’ve imagined,” the man said with amusement in his voice. “Anyway, I came here to tell you that the chief...”

Your first instinct was to call for help, but the cloth gag prevented you from that. You stopped listening to the conversation those two were having in pro of freeing yourself.

The noise of a door opening and closing made you freeze. Kinich entered the room. His eyes found yours, and you had to gather the entirety of your willpower to not lash out at him when he crouched down to remove the gag.

This was your childhood friend. Surely you could try to dialogue with him? Or was it mere wishful thinking?

“What’s going on, Kinich? Is this…some kind of twisted joke?”

“Have I ever done something like that?” That damned flat tone of his—like he wasn’t taking you seriously. “From today, you’ll stay here. With me.”

“You can’t be for real,” you stammered in disbelief at his revelation. “You’re not planning on holding me here forever, right?” 

“That depends on you. If you behave, I’m willing to negotiate with you.”

You’d been in shock this whole time, but the severity of the situation you were in finally dawned upon you. A painful tightness which sprouted from your chest extended to the rest of your body. Not once had you imagined Kinich betraying you this way. To be capable of such treachery, toy with your feelings and whisk you away from the outside world.

“I can’t believe you’re less trustworthy than Ajaw. Was he telling me the truth all this time? That you were placing yourself in danger so I... would nurse you back to health?”

“Ah, that,” Kinich crossed his arms, his fingers tapped on the side of his arm. His answer took longer than what you felt comfortable with. You grew wary of what he would confess next. “It’s not exactly what you think it is. I just wanted to lure you into my trap.” 

[gguk-n]

In Another Life (Max Verstappen x Reader)

Summary- Max just lost the love of his life, the woman he wanted to marry and the woman who was carrying his child. What happens when he transports to a place where she might exist? Does he finally get his happily ever after?

Warning- Angst, Major character death

{Max's POV}

My world came crashing down after that fateful call I received. I was in Qatar for the race weekend; my fiance Y/N didn't join me because she had been feeling unwell. I had just gotten off of the podium when a member of the RedBull team brought my phone. It was an unknown caller; I answered the call to "Is this Mr. Max Verstappen?" the voice asked. "yes" I replied, my heart started to beat a little louder and faster then it did after races. "I'm calling from the Princess Grace Hospital. You are Miss Y/N Y/L/N's emergency contact." they continued. "yes" I replied, a bad feeling making it's way to the pit of my stomach. "Is she ok? What happened? Why is she at the hospital and why are you calling me?" I rambled almost racing to the driver's room to change and leave. "We're sorry to inform you but Miss Y/L/N is no more" they said remorsefully. "What?" I stammered. "We tried our best but the collision was catastrophic. I'm sorry for your loss." they said. I stood still, in the middle of the paddock. My legs felt numb, "You're lying. She can't be dead" I screamed catching everyone's attention. People started to whisper, "Do something, you have to save her. You're doctors for fucks sake. Bring my girlfriend back. NOW" I bellowed. "I'm coming, I'm out of the country right now, but I want my girlfriend well and healthy by the time I'm there" I said finally gaining the feeling in my legs and ended the call.

Carlos, Charles, Lando and Checo were now standing next to me. "Everything OK?" Charles asked. I laughed, "It was the hospital, they were spewing nonsense that Y/N is dead. I spoke to her before the race. She was on the way back from the hospital. They say she's dead, haha. What a load of bull?" I said. All of their faces had dropped, Charles had moved forward to pat my back and Carlos wrapped me in a hug. "It's okay" Carlos muttered. "NO, NO. She can't be gone. We were gonna get married and have kids and not make them race car drivers since the sport gave her anxiety. Carlos this can't be true" I cried; my resolve breaking while Carlos hugged me tighter holding me up and patting my back. The flight back to Monaco was a blur, I don't remember how I got to the hospital, I don't remember filling out any forms, I don't remember her dad hugging me as they showed Y/N's lifeless body to me. What I remember is her face and it had a few scratches, her hands bruised, she looked peacefully asleep. I reached forward holding her hand in mine, "How could you leave me? You know how much I hate this world. You're the only thing that made it worth living for." I cried. The doctors entered the room and handed me the stuff she was carrying, "Here are her belongings. I'm very sorry for your loss, sir." he said handing me her stuff and a hospital file. I opened up the file to find an ultrasound scan and a report saying that she was pregnant. I fell down on the floor, "We were going to have a kid" I whispered which her father heard; I heard a wail leave his lips.

We buried her in a cemetery in her home town surrounded by flowers and greenery. I spent too much time there; I missed a few races too. But I was back before the final races; I didn't win a single race after her death. But when I stood on top of the podium as the World Driver's Champion of 2023, I didn't celebrate. How could I when the person who celebrated my every win was no where to be seen. I flew back to meet her after the race. As I was sat at her grave; "I won the championship for the third time. It didn't feel it though. You should've been there. I know I know, you must be angry since I missed 3 races and lost the last two. But you told me that the points were enough for me to win; so I won for us and our little one. How are you two? Both of you must be in heaven if there is a heaven. I wish I could say that I hope we meet but I don't think I'll make it heaven ever. I hope our child is happy. I love you lifde. You took a part of me when you left" I whispered, placing the bouquet of roses; a tradition I started after winning my first championship.

After the funeral, I was given Y/N's phone and messages were open; there was an unsent message. "Baby, I know you're racing rn, hope you win like always. btw, I went to the doctor and guess what? I'm pregnant. We're gonna have a mini Max soon. I know you'll be the best dad ever. I love you" it read. My tears didn't stop. I was robbed of a future I always dreamt of with her. That asshole drove while drunk, why did he deserve to live, why did he deserve to wake up every morning but the love of my life didn't? Why did he get to go back home when I couldn't even bring my girlfriend and kid back home? I hope he rots, I hope when I meet him he doesn't get to walk away from me for stealing the best thing that ever was mine.

The off season was torture, I spent my time laying in bed while my friends and family came over to make sure I ate and showered. They tried to get me to clean the house but I had left it untouched since the day she left. I wasn't ready to let her go just yet. Her parents would come in occasionally to check up on me. Her dad was currently sat at our table while I ate the food her mom made, "Max, you need to move on. Y/N must be suffering, watching you like this." he said. "I hope she is, she doesn't get to leave and expect me to be normal" I spoke. "Max, we love you. You are my son; I can't watch you like this. Y/N would want you to move on and live with the happy memories you two made." he said. "I know, I just need time" I mumbled while tears streamed down my face. He gave me a hug and then left. I wasn't ready, I don't think I'll ever be ready.

I didn't attend the pre season training until Horner dragged me. We spent some time but I couldn't focus. I was supposed to fly out to Bahrain in a week for the first race of the season. I don't remember when I fell asleep but I woke up to a much cleaner apartment. It pissed me off, so I called Lando who answered in a few seconds. "Who the fuck cleaned my apartment? I told you I would do it at my pace" I screamed. "Mate, no one entered your house. I don't know what you're talking about" he replied. "Don't fuck with me. Where's all of Y/N's stuff. It's missing" I said. "Who's Y/N?" he asked. "Don't fuck with me Lando. You know who Y/N is" I cried. "Max, I really don't. Was it the girl you took home the other day?" he questioned. I was annoyed and cut the call.

After some searching and the whole house being devoid of any sign of Y/N I decided to call her but my phone didn't have her contact. I flew to where her grave was which was missing. Everything was strange, I don't know why but I googled myself. That's when I saw it, my ex's name wasn't Y/N and she didn't die in a car crash. With time I realised that I was in an alternate universe where we had never met. A world where I didn't know Y/N existed was the worst kind but it gave me hope that maybe Y/N was alive in this universe. Maybe, I was here to meet her, to have the chance that was robbed from me. I spent my time racing, making sure I won every race so that incase she watched Formula One she knew about me. I would explore each city in hopes of running into her.

It was during Silverstone weekend when I went to the cafe the day after the race. It was very early so there weren't many people around. I walked into the cafe when I heard it, the voice that brought a smile to my face, there she stood. My Y/N, at the counter ordering her coffee, Iced Spanish Latte she said, her favourite. I smiled at her before walking towards the counter. I ordered and went to stand next to her while I waited for the order. She turned towards and smiled nervously, "You're Max Verstappen, right?" she asked. I nodded. "Oh my God, I'm a huge fan. Sorry to bother you but can I get a picture with you?" she asked. I agreed and we ended up taking a picture and talking after grabbing our drinks. She looked the same, her hair flowed down her back, her face had those moles I loved to kiss, her bright smile and infectious laughter. She was an avid Formula One fan from what I got. I offered her tickets to the next race which she denied politely. She got up to bid me farewell, "Will you go out with me?" I blurted, I hoped that she would say yes. "I'm sorry Max, but I have a boyfriend" she mumbled apologetically. I nodded, "It's ok. I'm sorry about this" I muttered. "No, no, I'm sorry for giving the wrong impression. I'll get going. Thanks for the picture and autograph though" she said while she walked away from my life for the second time.

A couple races later, I saw her again. This time at the paddock, I greeted her as she entered wearing Ferrari paddock passes. I eyed the card on her neck before she said that she was here with her boyfriend. I nodded along and watched her walk towards the Ferrari hospitality. It was media day and we were supposed to go get interviewed when she walked in with Carlos. He introduced her to us as his girlfriend. My heart shattered as I watched her peck his lips. She was kind, loving and understanding like she always was. I couldn't watch Carlos have what was once mine. In this universe, she never was mine. It hurt to watch her laugh at his jokes or kiss him or hug him. It hurt so much to watch her be in love with a man that wasn't me. I couldn't help but look at her longingly, there was a sort of pain in my eyes that only she caught it seems. Because she asked to speak to me as soon as I had come to the paddock on race day. I took her to my driver's room where we sat down.

"What's up Max? You look at me like a puppy that's been kicked. You look at me like I have hurt you beyond repair" she asked. I breathed out, "What if I told you I wasn't from this universe?" I asked. "I would say you're crazy" she said. "But I was, I was from a time line where I was gonna marry the love of my life, the woman that made life worth living. The universe where I wasn't only winning on track but also in real life because of her. We'd been together for 5 years and were planning a life together. I had proposed and she couldn't join me for my Qatar race last year because she was sick, I wish she had. Then then..... It was because she was carrying our child, she had gone to the doctor and found out but she was never able to tell me in person, I found out later. Then I get a call from the hospital saying that some asshole killed her in a drunk driving accident when she was returning home. I fly back to find her lifeless body. I haven't gotten over her yet, I missed races and performed poorly. But what could I do when I lost my life. Then one day I wake up here, a universe where we've never met and I spend all my time looking for her and then I find her at a cafe. We talk, she's a fan" she looked at me expectantly with tears in her eyes,"I'm sorry" she mumbled. "I ask her out but she has a boyfriend. Then we meet at the race and every time I see her my heart breaks watching them because that was me. She looked just like you, sounded just like you, was just like you with the same name." I cried, finally breaking down. She wrapped her arms around me as my body shook while sobs ripped through my chest.

"Max, if alternate universes are real and you are from another and lost the love of your life that looked exactly like me. I'm sorry. But I know, that she...I mean me from that universe wouldn't want you to mope. She would want you to move on. She would look down at you and make sure you were safe during every race, She would hope that you found half the happiness you gave her. She would want you to be yourself and not let this affect you. I can't tell you to move on now, but I can tell you to take your time. She wants you to always be happy. Please, take care of yourself. Be happy. Remember her but move on for her sake if not yours" she said all the while hugging me. I cried for a very long time and she embraced me until I let her go. She wiped away my tears and had me drink water. We walked out while I went to race and she went to Ferrari.

I won the race and headed back home after the weekend. When I went to sleep, I woke up back in my apartment. How did I know it was mine and not the other universe is because there was a paper next to the table that read, "I'm sorry for your loss. I cleaned up the space a bit but there are pictures of the whole house as it was before with all her memories in a couple boxes in the closet. I went to her grave with her dad too. I got her flowers. I hope you can move on. P.S We're leading the championship, hope you didn't throw mine away" I laughed after reading the note. Like it said, all the stuff was in the cupboard and there were pictures. I smiled at the boxes, I guess Y/N was the one who intervened because she knew I needed this. I walked out to the balcony and looked up at the sky before saying, "I'll live better. I'll make you proud, just you watch and then I'll come to you whenever you want me too"

[luminouslywriting]

Falling asleep on the Bob guys

Nonny, this is such a darling request! Sorry it's taken me so long to get to it :) I hope you really enjoy and are having a great day! Reminder that my requests are open and I love the spam!

Cut for length, paragraph format below:

Dick Winters:

Dick Winters is the type of man to be caught off guard in the softest of ways. He's not expecting you to fall asleep on him and he's still trying to talk over plans when he realizes that you're totally and completely out. It's at this point that he gets this really soft expression on his face and just decides to treasure the moment since you never know what will happen. He stays awake and keeps a wary eye out for any sort of danger that might befall the two of you. And he might murmur a few sweet nothings to you while you're asleep since there's no harm and foul for that.

Lewis Nixon:

Honestly, he's rambling and rambling and is waiting for you to reply to anything that he's said and mid-ramble, he looks down to find you asleep. Kinda makes this amused expression on his face and then presses a short and sweet kiss to your forehead. He's perfectly content as a kitten, curling up and falling asleep next to you. Especially if you're the one who fell asleep first—he's not about to move you or wake you up haha.

Ronald Speirs:

Realizes you're falling asleep very quickly and just goes kinda quiet. He doesn't have the heart to move you or wake you up so he can move, so he just sits there with your head on his shoulder and finally has a minute to just be calm and relax in peace. It's honestly a cathartic experience for him and he gets to reflect on your relationship, which endears the situation even more to him.

Buck Compton:

Gets this really goofy smile on his face at the fact that you're asleep on his shoulder. He absolutely adores seeing you this peaceful and will press a kiss to the crown of your head and snuggle in real close to you. He's the type to probably fall asleep with you, even more cuddled up and practically spooning at that point.

Carwood Lipton:

A softie who softly tells you a story until you are solidly asleep on his shoulder. And then he's slightly blushy and shy about the entire thing, but he's not about to move—he's no idiot. So he just wraps an arm around you and murmurs a soft goodnight. He'll treasure this memory for the rest of his life and wants to wake up next to you every single day henceforth.

Joe Liebgott:

Literally the sassiest mf—the minute that you fall asleep, he's out here glaring at anyone who walks by a little bit too loudly or is talking too much. He'll shush and tell someone to get the hell away from the situation bc no one is about to interrupt your beauty sleep. Not on his watch. He's also slightly smug and definitely thinking about sex in the future and how your married life would be.

Donald Malarkey:

10/10 a great person to fall asleep on. He's a solid choice, if only for the fact that he's ultra respectful and kind about things. He'll sit there patiently and untangle your hair while you're asleep and just relax. It's honestly just as calming getting to be around you while you're asleep and it becomes a tradition between the two of you.

Eugene Roe:

You cannot convince me that he isn't the best choice here. He gets super soft and almost emotional about the fact that you trust him enough to fall asleep near him and on him. He'll murmur lullabies in a half-whisper in French and stroke your hair and rub your back soothingly until you're totally asleep. He absolutely loves you and that'll be the last thing you hear before you're totally out for the count.

Bill Guarnere:

Doesn't realize you've fallen asleep until he turns to hear your reply or comments from a story he's been telling and then realizes that you're totally out. He gets this kinda goofy grin and just snuggles up real close to you. He's very honored that you feel safe enough to fall asleep in his presence—and he's not about to lose that trust for literally anything. You mean the world to him.

Joe Toye:

Slightly panicked?! Which doesn't really make sense, but you're literally asleep and he's just not about to let anyone interrupt that. He'll glare and make menacing motions to anyone who's too loud and he just wants to cuddle up next to you without anyone giving him shit. Not that anyone would—but you know, he's got some worries. Either way, he's real gentle about the entire thing.

George Luz:

Probably happens in a foxhole amidst some jokes and laughs to keep spirits up. And when you don't respond, he gets a little worried and then glances over to find out that you're just asleep on his shoulder. Gets this shit-eating grin on his face and he's definitely gonna tease you about it later (but not in front of anyone else). He's secretly very pleased that you fell asleep on him since he's got a big crush on you anyway haha.

[darin-nidk]

Bugambilia. | One-sided Eve!Reader x Lucifer.

Content: Hurt no comfort. Low self-steem Eve!Reader, mentions of Lilith and Adam, lingering feelings, longing Eve!Reader.

Eve!Reader and Lucifer reuniting in Hell after years of Eve!Reader hiding, generosity of the extermination that had forced them to come out from hiding.

But it's not a warm welcome or even a meeting that either of them was looking forward to — Eve!Reader who has hiding their face behind a mask, quite similar to that LED one that Adam wore. Their posture stiff, even defensive with wings expressing their discomfort.

Lucifer who awkwardly rubbed his arm at the sight of someone's spouse that he stole out of pettiness? To prove a point? He didn't love Eve as stealing her, erh, them away from Adam had been a power move to one up the first man, and... well, he wasn't sure they were Eve anymore. The consequences of his own actions that he hadn't thought throughly before acting on them.

"You uh, you look great, Eve!", the King of Hell itself was not one with social skills, it seemed. Partially amused, partially disgusted and beyond pissed off at his words, (Y/N)'s (e/c) eyes had shifted to red demonic ones the iris turning into a slit akin to a snake's reptile eyes.

"Don't call me that", a sharp glare at his direction, their voice having dropped a few notes lower as a clear signal of disgust at being referred with their deadname before shutting their eyes, taking a deep breathe and composing themselves. "And thanks, I guess. The trauma helped with the style", a low-blow to their own self-steem but it was worth it, at least for (Y/N) since they got to see Lucifer flinch at the memory, guilt crawling his skin and he was clearly uncomfortable — though their eyes stared up and down at the powerful figure before them.

A pained smile curved their lips as their previously venomous glare had softened into a recluctant loving one, approaching the same-height demon, though for (Y/N)... Lucifer was still quite a beautiful angel, even if he had fallen from grace — ever so mesmerizing, so awkward and adorable. So beautifully and undeniably human. "Now you... You look as beautiful as the last time I saw you back in Eden", Lucifer was visibly shaken at that, flustered at such unexpected compliment. It seemed like he didn't get those often, or perhaps, he was uneasy that it was them who complimented him.

It woudn't be weird, moreso because Lucifer had basically ghosted them after making Adam and Eve get kicked out of Eden. Lilith was and... still is, more important for him. For both Adam and Lucifer while (Y/N) was blending with the background.

Ah, God was cruel with them.

"I... thanks uh, so... Hell! What brings you to Hell? No actually, don't answer that— fuck, stupid...", he trailed off, hitting his forehead with his hand. Somehow, that awkwardness and lack of social awareness was adorable, making (Y/N) chuckle softly. In the past, it had been them the ones who'd be stuttering unable to come up with something witty to say while Lucifer waited with a patient smile curving his lips. Oh, how the roles had reversed.

"I have been here ever since I died, you know how He had never favoured me. It was only Adam this, Lucifer that... Lilith...", her name was enough to make Lucifer bit his lower lip and look away. Ah, so that was it... He still loved her.

You were never important, Eve.

"I had been wandering Hell with no place to call home", they bit their tongue to stop themselves from saying anything unnecessary, like deals they had made and souls they owned. A wanderer yet a powerful one. "I didn't think I'd cross paths with you". Not now, nor ever. "What about you..? I thought you became an hermit".

"Haha well ah, stuff happened and I have been helping my daughter rebuilt her hotel and — right, have you heard of my daughter? Surely, you must have! She has this idea and...", he rambled, his facade softening and his smile seemed genuine as he used some of his magic to make a projection, a drawing in the air of what Charlie had planned. He spoke, they listened in an absent manner as their gaze lingered elsewhere.

At the distance, (e/c) eyes widened slightly at the sight of the Princess of Hell. Not like Lucifer could have noticed due to the mask they wore. Charlie was just like her father, almost not a single trace of Lilith herself. The realization was a bit funny, truly, how their children seemingly took after themselves: Cain had looked like them but Abel was a mixture of Adam and themselves. Mostly Adam.

"She has your eyes, full of hopes and dreams", (Y/N) said in a soft spoken tone, making Lucifer cease his talk and look at them with shock. "I wonder how either of my boys are...", they trailed off, unable to finish that thought and Lucifer didn't ask or press for more.

Clearing his throat to break that heavy silence and awkward atmosphere, Lucifer looked at them with a certain understanding feeling. "If you have nowhere to go, ah...".

"(Y/N)".

"Lovely name. As I was saying, (Y/N), if you have nowhere to go then... My daughter's hotel will welcome you".

"Mm, that's assuming she'll let me in. And... I appreciate the offer, I'll consider it".

"Yeah so uh, I'll...", pointing behind himself at the hotel, Lucifer averted his gaze as he tried to come up with something to say, to bid his farewell.

(E/c) eyes observed the fallen angel standing before them, shifting his weight from foot to foot, clearly wanting to escape this situation as gentlemanly as possible. "You were never good with goodbyes, go now, I'm sure your daughter does miss you".

Without any more to say, or any delay. He left and (Y/N) stood there, watching Lucifer leave them once again without even bothering to look back.

Though their sadness was shortlived, a static noise in the background being an annoyance, causing (Y/N) to frown and shut their eyes, right hand raising to rub their temple as they turned on their heels. "Yes, yes... I'll leave now".

If you like my stories, consider donating to my Ko-Fi! Even cents are plenty of help!

[humming-fly]

Something I noticed is that when you see Ling shirtless for the first time he isn't very jacked despite his physical ability and looks like a twink. Then after the timeskip is when he gets absolutely ripped, and even Ed is jacked too. Headcanon: during the timeskip Ed and Greed do train a lot and spar with each other to get ready for the Promised Day. Logs make excellent weights. Greed also wanted his guns back.

pfdTT I mean given the crazy shit both ling and ed pull off I think they're about as jacked as they can be for their ages haha (the merch companies especially lean into that I don't think I've ever seen a shirtless ed fig that couldn't shred cheese like look at this shit what the hell)

so one of he biggest differences from that time skip is they both got a little older and ed in particular finally seemed to hit puberty so that helped him out a ton lol - that said I do imagine they sparred! ed's used to sparring with al and I bet ling had pretty regular bouts with his retainers to stay sharp too. the only one that probably Isn't used to sparring is greed but after getting his ass kicked by wrath he might've been easier to convince to at least try to synchronize with ling better, thus their much more merged fighting style on promised day~

and since you sent a few other hc's I'll go ahead and answer them here as well lol

yeah that sure matches the requirements for a sad headcanon! Personally I don't think you could willingly get greed in the general proximity of that bar with a 20ft pole after he had a meltdown that lasted a whole fuckin month, but maybe if he survived post-canon you could finagle something lol

oh this one isn't sad this one is Fun hahaha - we love a good problem-solving situation and also of anyone ling is the Best equipped to bullshit his way out of a problem in some way or another - @atomicpowered actually hit on this scenario a bit in their fic series over here, which I Highly recommend for some post-canon greedling fun :P

Cute! I bet that happened at least a few times, though harder to say how much grumbling was made on either party's side haha

Oh ling for sure was rambling at any and everything he could for a while while whittling greed down - even if the screaming ghosts aren't responding can still bother the evil possessing voice evesdropping on him! (or forced to evesdrop on him, I'd bet good money there were many times greed would have Loved to drown ling out)

[mintyeve322]

for anyone concerned by my writing style on my posts that my fic(s) might have no capital letters, random capital letters, or some other issue, i just wanted to clarify i type posts and messages very different from stories.

in stories I'll use proper punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and grammar. (at least to the best of my ability) i just couldn't give two shits about that stuff while I'm rambling here.

just a warning or heads up, haha.

anyway, so that we're on topic, fiddlestan time below the cut.

I think their relationship is pretty quick to take off but slow to be official. i feel like Stan is so starved for affection that she's scared to acknowledge her feelings, especially since affection is sometimes just "platonic girl stuff". don't worry stan, overly affectionate heterosexual female friends drive me insane too.

on Fidd's part, i think she is hesitant to make things official because at first she's not sure if her feelings are genuine or if she's accidentally using Stan, but once she realized thats not it, she's still hesitant to say anything because she doesn't wanna make Stan uncomfortable if she's not right about her feelings.

Fidds is a people pleaser and unhinged as hell before she uses the memory gun, let alone afterwards, so she for sure has made or aquired some crazy shit as gifts for Stan. She for sure has made her at least one robot that malfunctioned and had to be decommissioned, she bought Stan a fish, I'll do some fish research to figure out what kind later but it has some sort of significance, to occupy the empty tank in the shack since Frilliam is lost at sea. She's probably helped Stan make exhibits and made a cryptid up that reminds her of Stan. I feel like she'd get gifts for Stan constantly, and Stan wouldn't know how to act about it because her instinct is to be skeptical of kindness but Fidds was her sister's friend and she hasn't asked Stan for anything in return and she doesn't know why.

Related to Stan's belief that affection is transactional, if Fidds ever gets nervous about the portal or if Stan keeps something from her, like why she got arrested last night or where she found a part and Fidds says she owes Fidds an explanation, Stan will shut down and probably cry in her room for an hour.

Stan is VERY worried that Fidds is gonna reveal one day that she's only there for some sort of payment or gain on her end, and if she even implies that Stan owes her something, Stan will spiral until Fidds is able to figure out the problem and apologize, even if she agrees that she does owe Fiddleford something for all she's done.

Related to this, there's probably a period of time where Fidds is working really hard, to the bone, for Stan. She hates not feeling useful and may have hit a road block she's trying to push through or something, and when Stan tells her to take a break, she interprets it as a sarcastic "just let me do it, idiot" comment and not the "please take a break im worried about you" way stan intended it, due to the fact Ford, with her one track mind, has been harsh to her in that way before.

Fidds is apologetic and swears she's almost got it she just needs more time and please don't maker her leave she promises she can do it, and Stan has to basically grab her, look her in the eyes, and tell her she just needs to take a break and come back later. Fidds says she just wants to be useful for Stan, and Stan tells her she doesn't care if she's useful, she just needs her there and burning herself out working on the project is not worth it. they have a long conversation about how even if fidds never worked on the project again Stan would still want her around and its sad and fluffy.

also a thing where stan gets frustrated and implies Fidds isnt useful and has to comfort her and insist that isn't what she meant because it genuinely wasn't what she meant agh i love miscommunication hurt/comfort

idk im rambling and i feel like we're all so busy unpacking Stan's trauma we forget that Fidds has very real trauma from her work with Ford that has plenty of hurt/comfort potential as well.

[thelikesoffinn]

Hi!! ❤️

I would love to read your analysis of how your thoughts may have changed regarding Astarion and poly relationships, now that his post-Mizora dialogue has been revamped and he reacts badly to the affair. It's such a big change, I'm so intrigued by Larians decision to do it.

(dialogue here, just in case: https://www.reddit.com/r/BaldursGate3/s/pEMgC6nQr4)

Thank you! Your opinions are so great, and I'm sorry if you've already talked about this and I missed it!

Hiya there, babes!

Thank you, I'm flattered you like my rambling ♥️

I'll gladly check that one out - I haven't yet seen the new reaction because it's been a hot minute since I played act 3 and I've been avoiding spoilers ever since patch seven, so we're all getting fresh eyes this time, haha. But first, since a couple of people asked about it these past few days, I'd like to go over why I hated the old reaction as much as I did.

I'm sorry for using your ask to make this sort of bastardised hybrid of your question, but I figured it goes hand in hand with your ask!

Let's get to it!

Why is Astarion's old reaction to Tav/Durge sleeping with Mizora so. fucking. shit?

Especially since he is generally okay with poly-relationships (see Halsin) and flings (see drow twins)? So Mizora shouldn't be a big deal either, right? It should be all the same.

Well - yes and no.

Yes, because essentially the bare bones are the same. It all just boils down to Tav/Durge having sex with a character that isn't Astarion and we've seen him be absolutely fine with Tav sleeping with both Halsin and the drow twins whenever Tav asked him about it.

Now, he wasn't exactly on board with Harleep but that was likely for an entirely different reason. You know, essentially selling your body to a strange incubus for eternity and all that may strike a chord with our fanged companion, since he himself already knows the weight of such deals and has first hand experience in how long a eternity is.

But the rest of them? Completely fine! Have at it, Tav, Astarion will not be standing in your way! He just needs a tiny bit of reassurance - hey, is this because I've not been putting out in a while? No? Fantastic, off you go - and then he's right as rain.

But, the thing is: That was an agreement. Astarion was involved in the decision and he was part of the conversation the entire time. So anything that did happen, happened entirely with his blessing and to his knowledge. That is how these agreements should work.

With Mizora, we aren't given that.

The cunt just whisks Tav away immediately to show them her nine hells and then she drops them off like nothing happened. There's no conversation about it, Astarion doesn't get to know until he sees Tav and Mizora or maybe until one of the other companions informs him of what just happened. (Probably Wyll, seeing as it's Mizora.)

I don't think it needs to be said, but that is cheating.

There's nothing we can do to justify this, especially not since it's rather obvious that Astarion isn't really against Tav getting frisky with other people. So there's no good reason for Tav going behind his back - not that there ever is - and it's just a plain dick move.

When I tell you, the first time I had this scene and noticed we didn't get to have a wee chat with him first? I was SWEATING so hard, because I thought 'hot damn, did I save before this!? When was the last time I fucking saved!? He's gonna leave me so hard and I fucking deserve it too!' and then he literally rocked up to us and was like: "Naw, you didn't ask me :( But it's okay, you're not just a snack. You're a whole damn meal babe, there's enough of you to go around."

Sweating was immediately over. It was not what I expected and I was really, really REALLY disappointed.

That was not how this is supposed to work. He wasn't supposed to be alright with this, because Tav treated him like shit. They didn't give a single shit about how he might feel and what his opinion may be, which is something he's already experienced for so many years. Tav disregarded him entirely for their own pleasure.

Anyone who's ever been in a working poly- or even just in a working open relationship will probably be able to tell you that communication is a huge part of what makes these relationships work. Openly talking BEFORE anything happens, coming to an agreement with all involved parties, regularly checking in with each other to see how things are progressing.

It also needs mutual respect.

Every party involved needs to respect their partners enough to NOT go against their agreements. Enough to listen to them and enough to be willing to compromise and respect the others boundaries.

And there needs to be SO MUCH trust.

It's not easy to be honest about wanting to share, wanting to be shared or even not wanting to share anymore. It's not always easy to believe your partner will respect your boundaries and will not do anything that you specifically asked them not to do. Voicing these things takes trust and confidence.

Tav literally shits on all three of these things. Respect is apparently a foreign concept, there is zero dialogue and they essentially break any trust there is for a single fuck in the hells.

By cheating with Mizora, Tav just shows Astarion that he isn't worthy of their consideration and that his opinions and feelings don't matter at all. And him accepting that with a smile is just him falling back into old habits.

He's back to taking shit he doesn't deserve just for the hell of it. It's the same thing he's done for years, the very same thing he's so desperate to escape.

The worst part is that he probably doesn't even notice it's the same thing, because, initially, it probably feels like it's just the same as all the other examples. He'll keep telling himself that Tav sleeping with Mizora is no different than Tav sleeping with the drow or Halsin. It's all the same.

But there'll likely always be that tiny voice in the back of his head going: "But is it really?"

Oh, and that voice? That voice breeds resentment. It's the only thing it's good at, the only thing it enjoys and it won't stop until he notices how fucked up this really is.

Astarion is no longer beneath anyone. He doesn't need to take shit anymore. He doesn't need to say yes and amen, he doesn't need to cower.

He's an equal in this relationship, but his reaction makes it abundantly clear that he himself has yet to realise it.

How have my thoughts changed now that his reaction has been adjusted?

Now, after reading through the dialogue you attached (thank you for that, btw! ♥️) and looking up a video...nice!

First: He voices his concearns and is honest with both himself and Tav about how this affected him. He admits that he may be disappointed, he admits he thought Tav was better than others and that he was very clearly wrong about it.

That takes guts, especially for people like Astarion who spent so long bowing their head to others whims and it's a huge sign of progress. Love it!

"As if you wouldn't have jumped at the chance. - Once, maybe, but things change - people change. Even if they never imagined they could."

Gold. Pure gold.

Self-reflection is lovely. He knows he's changed and maybe this situation just shows him how much.

"I thought I could trust you, which was no small thing. Now I'm not sure what to think."

This is SUCH a good line, because it's wonderfully ambiguous.

It shows both a healthy dose of self-reflection AND self-worth. On one hand, Astarion clearly knows that he's slow to trust people and that his trust has to be earned but, at the same time, it shows that, quite plainly, his trust is no small thing.

His trust is costly but it's a valuable thing, that Tav has now lost.

"And if anyone should believe in forgiving and forgetting, I should."

Haaa...I absolutely get what he means, but this is a dangerous line that I'm not sure I'd advise him to cross. It's something that does sometimes happen with certain clients and I don't think I've ever seen it yield good or pleasant results. This behaviour - the very lenient, very forgiving approach - is usually done to help manage guilt.

Clients who've done "bad things" can potentially become extremely lenient towards those they're close to because, in their mind, nothing can be as bad as what they've done and yet their loved ones forgave them. So they should forgive those little 'mistakes' just as readily, right?

No, obviously not, because receiving forgiveness doesn't relate to your acceptance of any future misdeeds. That is not what forgiveness means and anyone who tells you otherwise hasn't really forgiven you to begin with.

They just want something to excuse their own shitty behaviour.

His reaction doesn't necessarily have to mean he is going in this direction, of course. He may as well just realise that Tav is truly sorry...

"You can promise me the heavens, it doesn't change the choice you've already made. It was selfish. It was you not thinking about anyone but yourself and that's a feeling I know all too well."

The ABSOLUTE BLISS my inner social worker felt when she heard this line. The fucking catharsis.

Not only does he realise how shitty this choice was, no, he's also honest about it without giving two flying fucks about what happens.

That is not only brave, no, it shows that he knows he's in the right, which is a big thing for someone whose second name is 'Rationalisation'.

I think I mentioned it in another ask, but Astarion is someone who constantly feels the need to rationalise; to justify his own actions in basically any regard - the blood, the spawn, the ascension, cazador.

Every single time.

It's probably part of what kept him alive - keep quiet like a dead rat and if you can't, explain yourself so well and thoroughly that they won't hurt you. It works for misdeeds - which is mainly where we see him use it - but it works for emotions as well.

But this time, he doesn't. He doesn't justify his reaction, doesn't explain why he thinks the way he does. No, he hits Tav with the cold hard truth and nothing but that and it's so. good.

"I may not have the moral highground when it comes to betraying trust, but right now I see everything I've been trying to escape in you. Even I deserve better than this. We're done."

LOOK AT HIM FUCKING GOOOO! 🎉

First he realises and admits that yes, he's made mistakes and he's been a piece of shit too, which is great.

(I know I'm putting a lot of emphasis on self-reflection in this one, but he could do with a lot of that. Astarion is awfully unreflected in a lot of his behaviour at first and that is always detremental. We NEED to reflect on our own actions to see where we're wrong or maybe even where we're right.)

But, at the same time, he knows he doesn't have to take this. He doesn't have to take Tav's shit, because he's better than this. He deserves better and honestly? I've got nothing to add.

I love this, I wish this had been all he'd said and that is exactly the reaction he should've had.

To be entirely honest, I was a bit miffed that he still forgives Tav so easily - I get it, it's a game of choices, so obviously they'll give us an option to get Astarion to stay with us - but meh. Left a bad taste in my mouth.

But this last one? Perf. Absolutely fucking perfect and precisely the growth I like to see.

Puuh, that was a bit longer than I intented, I'm sorry! Let's just revise that, in the end, it's save to say that I do like the new reaction MUCH better.

Even the parts I personally don't agree with - namely any forgiveness for cheaters, because cheaters are loosers that don't deserve shit - I can respect, because he's still honest and reflected. He could probably reasonably explain the choice he made.

Not only can he explain it, no, it's a decision that very clearly costs him a little and he doesn't seem to make it all willy nilly.

That is enough. If it's a good choice or not doesn't matter that much, because mistakes and regret are a part of healing and growing. You can't avoid those.

Just being able to be honest about how he feels, how difficult this is and how Tav hurt him shows that he's starting to drop the habits that were tortured into him for so long and that is, in this part of the journey, absolutely enough.

Anyway, I hoped I answered your question and if not, feel free to let me know and I'll try again! Have a lovely day ♥️

Edit because I forgot to mention: My opinion regarding Astarion and poly-relationships as a whole remains unchanged, regardless of how he reacts to Mizora. Those two situations don't really sit on the same bracket, because one is an agreement and the other is a breach of trust.

So I still really do believe he's alright with them, as long as they're discussed!

[sohnric]

2024 REWIND ☆

thank you so much to beam @sungbeam for tagging me in this! I really love stats and numbers so this is definitely something I enjoyed doing. I know I haven't posted in a while but I think it's still great to look back a little on what I managed to put out this year!

first fic of 2024: beloved (eric sohn)

I remember being super super scared of posting this one. I wrote it when I was having a really hard time dealing with a lot of thoughts and emotions. definitely self-indulgent and very personal, but I am happy it's out there 🫶🏻

last fic of 2024: cool kids (sim jaeyun)

not gonna lie this drabble was the most spontaneous thing ever 😭😭 for the length of it it surprisingly took me a lot of time to finish and I wasn't even 100% happy with it, but I think it's a sweet harmless little drabble!

longest fic of 2024: partners in crime (ji changmin) - 33k

this was a work that I've wanted to write for literally years. this idea has been bouncing around my head since like 2020, so I am happy I finally got to write it. I think the timing was just right, since changmin really fit the role of who I wanted the main character to be, and although I was really scared to put this one out there, I am very proud of it.

most popular fic of 2024: cool kids (sim jayeun)

not gonna lie I believe I have works that deserve the number of notes more and I didnt even expect this drabble to get so much traction, but I am thankful to enhablr for this 🫶🏻 over 1.4k notes is truly crazy

personal pick of 2024: to. my first (kim sunwoo)

this fic (alongside with millennium bug) might just be the works I truly love the most. I posted this in early january, so it almost feels like last year, but I am still going to count it because this fic has a very very special place in my heart. I love everything about the plot, characters and the universe I created with this 90s au and I will definitely revisit it in 2025!

total fics written: 16

total words written: ~ 131 600

I battled with writer's block a lot this year and was also very busy with uni since september started, so I can't really be mad at myself. Happy that I focused on writing so much in summer and hopefully there are many more words waiting to be written by me next year, when I have a degree and a lot less to worry about haha.

top artists/muses of 2024:

kim sunwoo ~ 58.5k words written

eric sohn ~ 44.4k words written

ji changmin ~ 34.5k words written

nothing surprising here, not gonna lie HAHA. although he is not my bias, sunwoo is just the most fun to write about for me. I adore creating his character because I feel like we are similar in many ways (I am in his walls.)

last words:

thank you so much for everyone on this site that has read anything written by me this year. It's crazy to think there are so many people out there that cared enough about what I have to say and I am insanely grateful for every ask, reblog, follow, comment, message and like I've recieved this year 🫶🏻

thank you also to all of my friends on this site but mainly @csenke my belovedest. you helped me insanely in a lot of ways this year, but also with writing by always listening to me rambling, beta reading for me, brainstorming and giving me inspiration. I owe you my life and love u forever my best friend, can't wait to see u again in january <3

not sure when there will be a new work posted by me, since I need to write a bachelor's thesis before I let my brainrot win and write a fanfic, but trust me when I say I WILL BE BACK. the ideas in my drafts are too good to abandon.

happy holidays. I wish everyone's 2025 will be kind.

[pillowspace]

Oh, I really like that idea. The family fluff and them treating y/n like a pup. I have so many questions my dear.

What I've been thinking is would y/n be built different? Living in water most of the time since being a child would affect their anatomy I imagine. Things like having wider, more developed shoulders, thighs or upper body (what you can often see on professional swimmers) would come as natural i assume also the trained ability to hold breath for longer periods of time and being able to use mer language.

But I wonder if their body would also adapt to environment in some different ways, would they develop abilities and anatomy not quite natural for humans? Like better eyesight under the water, possibility to digest raw food without getting sick due to this kind of diet they practiced their whole life or natural intuition regarding animals, their intentions and moods.

Would they have contact with other mermaids? Something like Spider from avatar the way of water like being a weird monkey friend among a group of mers.

How would they learn about human culture? the human language?

As a bilingual person I sometimes struggle with proverbs or slang, because you can't translate them word to word, they won't make any sense that way, I like to think y/n would have the same problem haha. Like imagine them saying ,, Nah there is no way they ripped their gills as a pup in this" which would translate to having something as a hobby you spent lots of time and work on.

Also would they struggle with human speech as an adult? Like despite the education would they struggle with some words or didn't knew the meaning?

After growing up would they live on the shore? Boat? Or in the village near the water?

You wrote about them being totally oblivious to human dating strategies and I'm in love with it. Love me some oblivious y/n's. But also let's reverse that y/n have a human friend that found something cool like a pretty rock or a seashell and knowing y/n is someone who loves sea and has surprisingly big collection of rare shells, rocks etc they showed it to them like:

Friend: Look what I found while diving last week! * shows the pretty pearl/shell/rock/some anemone*

Y/n : Oh! It rare, must be brought from away, not appear here. *after inspecting tries to give it back*

Friend: No No! Keep it it's for you, it reminded me of you when I saw it so I took it. It's not as gorgeous as the rest of your collection but I hope you will accept it!

Y/n being convinced they are trying to court them now : :O *Runs to Sun and Moon* Dads/Guys holy fuck

And like they start this chain of present giving where

Y/n : omg courting omg what I do? They are good providers, good eyes, strong. I must show the same! I will think about it but I will show I'm interested, considering the proposition *Gives sea glass*

Friend: Hahaha exchanging not really meaningful gifts and eating lunch with my bff. Oh! A sea glass! I must repay for a gift with another! So fun!

Or the other scenario where there is a mer that doesn't know y/n have been raised by mers and knows a lot about human culture for some reason and tries to court them that way and they are both so confused.

Also I think it would be funny if y/n had a sea slugs obsession, like they are their favourite animal, they are like sea puppies for them. And they feel personally attacked when someone doesn't know about them.

Ohhh I'm sorry about rambling but I'm in awe of this au I would love to hear more about it! The relationships dynamics! Characters! Everything! Everyday you surprise with your creativity more and more!

I'm gonna say "PROBABLY" to all of the anatomy stuff because I was not even aware of that being a thing for professional swimmers

Yeah, they'd be able to hold their breath for awhile! Not an abnormal amount of time though, however you'd define that (one of my friends can hold its breath for 2 whole minutes). I would like to also imagine that there is a way for Y/N to breathe underwater for a period of time with Sun and Moon's help. Like how in some romantic AUs, it's done through a kiss, but kisses themselves aren't inherently romantic in nature, are they? So the very cute image I'm getting here is Sun telling Y/N to hold their breath, pulling them under the water, then pressing his mouth to the top of their hair to do a very exaggerated "mmmmm...wah!!" like parrot owners do with their parrots. There's a few little sparkles around the top of their head, then Y/N is freely giggling under the water. Sun swims around them in circles like "swim with me! Swim with me! Like this!"

They can also use mer language. It would perhaps sound a little bit like there's a speech impediment to a mer. Still understandable though, so *Sun voice* 👏👏 good job, good job!! :D

Yeah, they can digest raw food better than the average human can!

I'd like to imagine Y/N meets other mers too, yeah. Maybe even gets to play with some other child mers, and Moon has to warn them that his kid is more delicate so they have to be careful. Y/N might feel a little left out though, so Sun and Moon still take them back to the human island from time to time where there are human children who won't leave them behind for being too slow. Even if Y/N is seen as a little weird, but oh well. A lot of kids are weird

Aaand that also goes into human culture and language. Again, Sun and Moon take Y/N to the small human island from time to time. Perhaps they have a deal with one of the humans to babysit essentially. Keep watch for them and keep Y/N taken care of. Hey, maybe it's Vanessa! Jdkghd yeah I like the proverbs struggle

I imagine they're pretty good with the island's human language. They had a small vocabulary with it already before meeting Sun and Moon, then they learned some from Vanessa, plus the other kids. Buuut they're not perfect with it, even in adulthood. They still have struggles, and maybe even don't know how to form certain sounds all too well. They sound like they have an accent, and don't know what to say when people ask what it is

I feel like boats would make Y/N feel a bit weird. Sun and Moon would always grab onto Y/N and flee whenever they saw one, maybe there had been a bad instance with someone in a boat hurting Sun or Moon at some point, and Y/N knows Sun and Moon take down large boats from time to time. So boats, especially large ones, might somewhat be associated with danger and the ability to be torn straight through. Perhaps they moved into a house by the shore and occasionally go out on a very small boat, since small boats had always seemed to be less of a source of fear and more so just caution

AWWWW THE THOUGHT OF Y/N TRYING TO COURT SOMEONE LIKE A MER WOULD IS ACTUALLY SOSO CUTE. I don't even know who this friend IS, and I'm obsessed

Oh sea slugs... you have got me there

[eternally-tired-muffin]

First off, I absolutely love the Hashira surplus AU. I see lots of somebody lived/everyone survived AUs since I have an Ao3 addiction, but none really go in the direction you’ve chosen. I think the idea of twin pillars is nice to think about, but unless they work best together and are messes without their other half it wouldn’t really make sense to just count them as one if they’re perfectly fine independently. Kind of like how Daki and Gyuutaro work in canon, I suppose. So if Sabito lived, he would undoubtedly become the Water Hashira first and end up leaving Giyuu at Kinoe despite him eventually catching up in strength and qualifications. Same with Shinobu, if Kanae survived then she wouldn’t have room to become a Hashira with the 9 max rule. All in all, I really like what you’ve done with it and how you’ve built off canon. I don’t have any direct questions, but definitely wouldn’t mind to read about anything you haven’t got a chance to share or small details you havent been able to fit anywhere! Have a good day/night and sorry for rambling lol-

AHHHHH THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING OMG T^T

I'm glad that you think this take on everyone lives makes sense! I tried to change 1 thing at the start and have the ripple effect come across naturally.

In terms of things to share, thank you so much for asking! This au is my baby so I'm thrilled to yap haha. I have a lot of projects I'm passionate about, so the actual drawings will come out very slowly, though I will answer asks and plot questions as they come. I'm currently working on the comic where Kanae meets Nezuko, so have a sneaky WIP page :P

The recent arc has also got me thinking about how the infinity castle arc changes.

MANGA SPOILERS FROM HERE!

I've decided to commit to saving everyone, as the core principle of this au, so the upper moon fights are going to go down differently. At the moment, I haven't fully decided, but my initial idea is this:

Instead of Giyuu, Sabito joins Tanjiro in fighting UM3. In canon, Giyuu acts as a parallel to Rengoku, with themes about weakness/strength and duty (who 'should' live). In this AU, Giyuu doesn't have the same survivor's guilt, and Rengoku doesn't die. As a result, it isn't thematically important for Giyuu to go up against Akaza. However, Sabito was present in the mugen train arc, and he narrowly survived the encounter. I think it makes sense for him to go up against Akaza with Tanjiro (who was stuck as a witness last time) and get to see how they've both grown - Tanjiro getting stronger and Sabito getting smarter. Maybe he learns Giyuu's defensive form?

Since Giyuu is free, I think he'd join in the UM1 fight. Having a defensive fighter could influence the battle. I have to be honest, I haven't reread this arc in a minute (so it is fresh when I watch the movie) so I can't quite remember how the fight goes down, but I think Giyuu would be there from the start. They just manage to keep themselves together as more allies join and overwhelm UM1.

I haven't used Rengoku here - I haven't decided his status after the mugen train arc. He lives, but I don't know if he is fit for battle. He may join Uzui and his father in protecting Nezuko. Perhaps he rallies the kakushi and the medical team with his large presence and still well above average physical abilities.

UM2 is a bit more complicated. Shinobu's drive for revenge is a key part of her character, but in this AU, Kanae survives. This is another thing not set in stone and may change. At the moment, I think in this AU, Douma has a habit of eating his victims alive. He taunted Kanae, managing to bite off her ear, so while Kanae manages to survive, she is truly affected by this fight. Shinobu despises him like in canon. In terms of the UM2 infinity castle fight, I'm not sure how to administer Shinobu's poison. It could be that Douma eats an arm or leg, but Kanae arrives in time to help. I'm also currently thinking that Aoi* might join Kanao.

*I haven't committed to her role yet (in addition to knowing basic medicine). She could be a poisons using demon slayer (like Shinobu) or someone who blended the role of demon slayer and kakushi - this is worth its own post though.

All of the speculation around the inifnity castle is just a draft, though! I would absolutely love to hear any suggestions/ ideas, so please feel free to reply/ reblog/ send an ask :D

AU masterpost

[xxsycamore]

Fanfic Writer Wrapped - 2024 Version!

I saw @rjthirsty do this and figured it's a great excuse to ramble for a bit! The last days of the year were hectic for me and I couldn't say much outside of the statistics I put together for my Writing summary, so I'll do that now. Credit goes to @asirensrage !

What fic did you work on the most this year? Without a doubt, Monster Villains Night (NSFW). I totally underestimated what I was getting into, with it hitting 7,825 words overall. It was Halloween Eve when I came up with the idea for it, 12 different smut scenarios with 12 different monsters, thinking "what if... Nine Nights but without the plot and with shorter scenarios... I can get it done RIGHT NOW!" - I didn't. I remember I was drinking and when I returned to my laptop later that night, already sleepy and tired, the wip left at scenario #2, I was mad at the thought of missing the holiday's timeframe so I came up with the idea to divide it into 3 parts, four scenarios each. I willed myself to write the remaining two for part 1, a bit half-assedly, and posted it. Thinking that I'd get the two other parts done with in the next couple of days. Part 2 was posted a whole month later 😭 The reason? The nature of the fic itself. The focus is the monsterfucking, of course, and since I haven't written that before, I wanted to do it justice. But also this is anonymous sex, so another key feature is putting just the right amount of traits and mannerisms of the characters so the reader can have fun guessing who is who. But also we can't get straight into it because sexual tension is important. But also, it has to make sense where and how the deed is done with that fixed setting of a party in Crown castle. And returning to the first point, do you know how demanding Monsterfucking is? You have to know your monster, and you have to make use of their inhuman traits in ways you might not have considered if all you wrote so far is human sex. I mean, that's the exact mental gymnastics that make me love writing, the problem is that it's not happening as fast as I want it to happen. A large chunk of me working on this series was brainstorming and researching different monsters. Matching monsters with suitors. Coming up with the stupid adjectives for the titles, HAHA. It all kept me stimulated for a long time, and I admit it took me so long because somewhere along the way I started thinking "if I'm gonna write monsterfucking once, then might as well write it properly", going all in. Some scenarios reached 1k words because of that, and I'm not a fan of the inconsistency in both the length and the quality, but oh well! I got stuck on scenario #8 for a while, but as the year approached its end, I got motivated to finish at least this part - and the satisfaction of posting it somehow motivated me to write all the remaining scenarios the very next day, I don't know how did that happen. Now that it's all been done, I'm really proud of it! In the end, the idea has been executed. It was a small ark in my writing journey, another new thing I tried!

Did you have any fic writing goals? Did you meet them? Yes, I do actually set writing goals at the beginning of each year! I never know how busy or stressed I might be during the upcoming year, so I try to make the goals as realistic as possible - setting a total wordcount that is far below what I usually reach, for instance. Some of my goals are "write at least 1 of the special napo fics that I've been planning to write since 2020" (i failed to do this one, again) and "write the remaining requests" (I'll be frank here i don't even know what this is referring to but i nope i didn't do it, i have a fresh batch of requests however). But I don't put a big importance on those goals, so it's all fine!

How many fics did you work on this year? 111, ficlets and headcanons included.

How many new fics did you post this year? Almost all of them.

Did you update any old/previously posted fics this year? What were they? Oh, the Napoleon kink headcanons! I'll be updating this series from time to time, and requests for them are always open. Other than that, I finished Paradiso Terrestre (NSFW), the birthday mini-series for Napoleon that I started last year.

Do you have a favourite fic you wrote? Nine Nights (NSFW), but King's Game (NSFW) is a close second.

What’s your favourite passage that you wrote this year? Good thing I've made a handy compilation of passages from all my works this year! (under the cut of this post) I'd pick this one, from Nine Nights (NSFW) - Your gaze moves from Liam’s pretty lips curling in a small laughter as he conversates with Harrison, to Harrison stretching out while he listens; to Elbert’s tall frame as he looks out the window next to them, to Alfons staring at him, putting one leg over the other as he stirs the steamy liquid in his cup. - Nothing special about it at first glance, but this is the turning point in the fic - this thorough observation shows that the reader's principles have already snapped, she can't help but fill her head with impure thoughts.

Favourite line of dialogue this year? “…What’s a Nissan Pulsar?”

Favourite POV? (or rather what POV did you use the most this year?) Reader's POV, of course! I love using it and directing the attention towards what I assume would be most interesting about the situation for the person who's reading the fic. Also, reader's POV in Napoleon fics feels so natural because I'm practically writing my own POV, hehe! I tend to be a bit more self-indulgent in those, but I still keep a general Reader's POV in mind.

Did you find yourself repeating a word or phrase in your writing this year? If so, what was it? I'm sure there's at least one I'm not aware of HAHA... It's definitely something in the smut fics, a specific description of an action...? Maybe the way I describe the climax. Also, while I try to avoid eponymous adjectives (I just don't like those! the blonde, the French, the taller man, etc...) but for some reason I've replaced Alfons' name with "the hedonist" at least a couple of times. I just like it, I don't know why.

How did you help other writers this year? (i.e. leaving comments, reviews, beta reading, offering advice, etc) Similar to what happened to my writing in 2024 compared to the previous year, I've also left fewer but longer comments. I can't help myself when I think "this small detail here, the writer would be so happy to know I noticed and appreciated it, so I have to make sure I point it out!" and suddenly I've written a lengthy comment once again... I want to find the balance about this too, just like with my own writing, so that I can have the energy for a larger quantity. Because there are so many fics I like but sometimes I stupidly leave without saying anything because "I can't find the words to say anything worthy for the quality of this fic" - while at the same time knowing full well as a fellow writer that a mere keysmash is more than enough........ It's hard! Other than that, I wrote a post with Tips about writing Napoleon! The challenges I hosted might count towards helping writers, I hope? Especially the masterlists, I sincerely hope I'm giving the writers at least some reach that way. Beta reading is not my forte :D Please don't ask me to do that for you, I'm gonna leave the worst typos untouched without realizing it. But giving advice, I'm always open to that, so please don't hesitate if you have a question, I'll do my best to help.

Did you receive any advice that resonated to you this year? I've seen so many posts through the years nudging writers to be more self-indulgent but I think in 2024 I listened to them the most. While looking back at my stuff for the Writing summary, I just had to stop to fully read fics like Overheat (NSFW) and Crybaby (NSFW) because, well, it's something I'd stop to read. I could have written it differently in some parts to appeal to what I THINK might be more widely considered sexy, but instead, I wrote it the way I felt like in the moment, to my own liking.

What did you enjoy most about writing fic this year? As usual, sealing the moment, capturing the mood I was at the moment of writing those fics. Being able to look at a fic title and instantly go back and remember where I was sitting while I wrote it, what was the weather like, what part of the day it was, what song I listened to on repeat.

What did you enjoy the least? My perfectionism getting in the way, more than usual too. I can't seal the moment if I'm stuck on trying to reword something, I have a limited time before the mood changes and I don't have inspiration anymore.

Who was your favourite character to write for? Napoleon is a given but other than him I want to say Clavis and Alfons.

Did you have a song on repeat while writing this year? THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION. The notable ones are Four out of Five by Arctic Monkeys for King's Game (NSFW) (since the atmosphere was so similar to Late August Night Tryst (NSFW) where I directly reference the song); Salvatore By Lana Del Rey for Overheat (NSFW); Driving My Love by Anri for Joyride (NSFW); Put Me In A Movie (No Kung Fu version) by Lana Del Rey for Lights, Camera, Action (NSFW); The Wretched by Nine Inch Nails for Nine Nights (NSFW); Prom Song Gone Wrong by Lana Del Rey for Ludus (NSFW).

Did you make any playlists for your fics this year? What are they? The playlist I made especially for Monster Villains Night (NSFW) which you can find linked somewhere under the title. It was really fun to think of a song to fit each of the 12 monsters.

What’s your favourite thing you made for your fic or character this year? (such as pinterest, moodboards, gifs, etc) The layouts I make for each fic should count since I do get out of my way to make some of the banners into gifs ontop of editing them... I did a mini moldboard for the final part of Paradiso Terreste! (NSFW) The playlist from the previous question too, of course.

What was your most commonly used tag for your fics (on ao3, tumblr, etc)? Oh that's fun, let's find out (god bless ao3's filtering system)... Vaginal Sex (12) .... okay, fair.

Did you participate in any fic writing challenges this year? Not as much as I wanted to, definitely less than in previous years. I wanted to participate in my friends' challenges but in the end I only participated barely in my own challenges. However, I hosted what I think was my best challenge so far, the Sexy Ikemen Summer! I've made a whole post rambling about it on my main blog, so I'm not gonna talk about it here but it was a great project to work on. Visions of Temptation 2024 too, my 5th kinktober challenge. I also joined an Ikevil Gift Exchange which was really fun!

What was your favourite comment/review you received this year? Oh, this is really hard! I have to say that I appreciate them all, I really do remember many of the comments I've received through the years. If I have to pick one, I'll go with this one (if the person is reading this hi hello I hope you're having a great day thank you once again ❤ ). But the comments under Nine Nighs as a whole are very special to me because many of the readers confessed that they're not into that kink but ended up enjoying it, so I'm extra thankful that they decided to give it a try!

What was your top-rated/commented fic this year? ...I'm NOT gonna link it again, but Nine Nighs. I often have this feeling that I'm writing my Magnum Opus (and often say so on my main) but this time I really felt it. I still can't believe I was able to put my brain to work for long enough to write it the way it is, all things considered - it was a pretty rough time of the year for me. My most popular fic overall remains Office Activities (w Roy Mustang) but I'm absolutely bewildered that an ikemen series fic reached up to just 100 notes short of it.

Were there any ideas you wanted to work on this year but you didn’t? ...too many to my own liking. I know it's normal to have wips you eventually abandon, but I'm usually the type to work on one idea at a time and rarely leave unfinished works. This year I've abandoned a Raul Aconite (Cupid Parasite) smut, a Tendo Amahiko (Charisma House) smut, a fic about Leonardo and Napoleon having a bromance moment and bonding over Italian, a Sakaguchi Ango (Bungou to Alchemist) smut, an ikevamp crackfic, one NSFW Napoleon headcanon, two or three Napoleon smuts, and a Tomoegata Naginata (Touken Ranbu) smut... I hope to pick up and finish at least one of them, but I find it very hard to work on something once I lose the time window of my inspiration for it.

Were there any new fandoms or genres you explored this year? In 2023 I wrote for 8 new fandoms, whereas in 2024 I wrote for 0 new fandoms. That's it if we don't count the wips, of course, but I'm still unfulfilled with this... I hope this changes in 2025! As for genres, I don't think I've written anything new, but I did explore more tropes this year, especially nsfw ones.

Is there anything you want to write or try to explore in your writing next year? I want to write more headcanon-type works (something like Our Little Family), I want to try different styles of writing, I want to write shorter works that I feel satisfied with, but most of all I just want to have fun and capture more moments from my daydreams.

Do you have a goal for next year? If so, what is it? To write at least 2 of the Napoleon fics I've had in my head for years. To finish both my 1,5k and 2k followers celebration event requests. To finish at least 1 of last year's wips. To write for at least 3 new characters.

What are your hopes and/or desires for yourself and for other fic writers in the next year? To become even more self-indulgent! I want to write and read fics that feature those specific little details that you just know the author put there because it's something they personally felt/saw/experienced. To leave perfectionism behind and post unpolished works. To be more generous with commenting and giving support to each other.

Ao3 Specific Stats - How many people subscribed to you this year? (User subscriptions) 124 people have me in their email... Why can't I deliberately send them stuff? I want to wish them a good day or something...

What were your total kudos this year? 785!

How many comment threads were created on your fics? 38, many of which I haven't replied to yet and I feel terribly guilty about that.

How many people subscribed to your fics? 14

What was your word count posted on Ao3 this year? 106,847, for a second I thought I wouldn't reach the 100k mark but I did! And this marks 2024 as my 3rd most active year!

How many hits overall on your fics this year? 18,344

What are your top 5 fics (in terms of hits) this year? (links open here and not on ao3) 1. Napoleon Kink Headcanons (NSFW) (2327 hits) 2. Steal My Heart!! 1500 followers special ficlets (2179 hits) 3. Monster Villains' Night (NSFW) (1642 hits) 4. Nine Nights (NSFW) (1171 hits) 5. Off With Your head! (NSFW) (1165 hits)

If you post fics on tumblr, using Tumblr Top! what fic has the most notes? (in total and that you posted this year) In total: Office Activities (NSFW) (513 nots), and for the year: Nine Nights (405 notes)

Did you discover any new fics or fic authors this year? I did! All the mutuals I met this year who are fellow writers - @valkyyriia is the first one that pops up, I instantly went back to where I was sitting reading her Arthur and Comte fics, on my holiday, it's such a nice memory for me. @missaengg too, and all new mutuals from the letters blog... meromerodie on ao3 (Shuuen no Virche)

What was your favourite fic to read this year? Break Me by @nightghoul381 , I still live inside this fic I swear

Who was your favourite fic author this year? @nightghoul381 and @fang-and-feather , this is just exactly my brand of writing, all I could wish for as a reader. You two are so talented and put so much of your heart into your works, it's a pleasure to see it!!!

What fics or authors would you recommend for others to discover and read in the next year? You can just browse my tag for saving favorite fics of mine on my main, but be warned there's a lot of Napoleon there... We're a relatively small community so I'm guessing many of the people reading this already know some names around here - instead, if you want to discover someone new, I encourage you to browse the games' tags here on tumblr and to give a chance to new writers. If you're like me and would gladly devour ANYTHING featuring your fave, then by all means explore more and support small writers!!

What advice would you have for people who might want to try writing or sharing their writing next year? Do it, I know it's cliched by no one else can write this story the way YOU would write it. Even if your idea doesn't seem original to you, remember that the people who love this character would love to read yet another fic of them eating their favorite food or doing their hobby - that's part of why those people love the character, of course they would love to see more of it. Even if there are similar works existing already, you won't copy anyone, trust me. You have your own unique way of portraying things and someone will appreciate that.

Any regrets? None, because even though there are things left undone by the end of the year, I think of all the hardships I had irl and it's enough to make me go, "hey, all of that and I still wrote 100k words? that's awesome". There will always be more that I want to write, I let that motivate me, if anything.

If you reached the end, thank you for listening to me ramble. I'm not rereading all that, so I'm sorry if there are typos or if I don't make sense at times. I don't know when I would post my first fic of the year, I'm trying to take it easy. It seems like it would be a busy year for me irl, but at the same time, I feel like I'm in a better place mentally, and I'm hoping this would show in my hobbies as well. Wishing you all a great 2025 and thank you for sticking around. ❤

[insomnya777]

time for me to ramble about alley rose by conan gray and my boat boys superhero au :)

you guys asked for this. so. i did it. i'm just cool like that. you're all to blame for this monstrosity. long post incoming!!!!!

okay so. there are so many lines from this song that fit my au, joel and etho specifically (what's happened and what's to come eventually) and i desperately need to talk about it so let's start this off!!

so much to say that's subject-sore, so much you'd change since you were born

this lyric! fits etho and joel both so well. regarding the sore subject part... gosh, i have so much to say. there's so much left unspoken between them, literally at every single point in the series, and they know they need to talk about it, but they don't want to because it'll just ruin both their moods and talking about it makes things so much more serious and official, you know?

the second part — joel grew up in mezalea (which will be talked about later) and he had kind of his whole life planned out for him, and then things went sideways and that whole plan, his whole life really, was ruined; eventually stratos was created. he had so much potential, and it was all just... wasted. etho, on the other hand, grew up in a rougher area of the city he lives in now, and now he's just very far from that lifestyle, just in general. very posh and fancy, even if his apartment isn't, his job sure is (was?)

the way you kissed me, hot and fast i knew it'd be the last

alright so the way i see this lyric is definitely etho's perspective, in the second part of the series. such a long time ago, i know!! but when joel kissed him for the first time, even while it was happening, there was this little part of him that was in disbelief and also completely sure that it would never happen again (so he should better enjoy it while it lasted)

don't leave me hanging alone again

...guys i have so much to say here. this could quite literally be sooo many moments. mostly in etho's pov, i've noticed. he really gets left behind often huh. poor guy.

but, pretty much, this is like when joel leaves him after he kisses him, when joel leaves him in the grocery store after turning his world upside down, when joel leaves him in the park after basically breaking up with him. joel really leaves him alone a lot. wonder what that means for the future. totally not foreshadowing haha.

honourable mention to when etho leaves after apologizing to joel, which then infuriates joel, as you will all see in the next part. but yeah, etho's really sick of being left behind over and over again.

you told me "i'm just so nervous, dear" well, how the hell do you think i feel?

oh this lyric!! also etho pov — this song is so very etho coded. in is it over now? joel is talking about how confused etho makes him all the time when he's all vague and mysterious and stuff, and etho kind of snaps, literally saying the words "how do you think i feel?" so when i heard this lyric in the song my jaw dropped. it was literally made for them. maybe not the nervous part specifically, but definitely the rest.

i waited all year at your feet like maybe you'd love me

alright i'm going to be disclosing some information here that i can't remember whether it has been outwardly said yet or not. but you've probably figured it out or assumed anyways. it's not exactly surprising. so. remember way back when, all the way in diesel is desire, you were playing with fire, joel talks about how etho always lets him go? and never really fights him? goes easy on him, etc? well!! etho had always been amused by joel, ever since the beginning, had always found the way he bickers and teases and flirts and yells very entertaining, to say the least.

this led to him always having a bit of a soft spot for him, being a little biased, even, which was very inconvenient for his job. eventually, that affection turned into a little bit of a crush, which he always refused to acknowledge, then turned into the... mess of feelings he had now. love. maybe not quite love. something else. he doesn't know anymore.

either way, he's nice to joel. too nice. not in the obvious way, not in the way that joel could ever call him out on, but he let him go and did other things that very much could make him lose his position in the agency. which is foolish and idiotic and he somehow never regrets it.

he subconsciously had a little bit of a hope that it would somehow win joel over, just a tiny bit, but, little did he know, it only annoyed joel even more. the idea that someone was going easy on him was enough to effectively make him mad for the rest of the day. so, yeah, you could pretty much say that this line fits them to a T.

and i don't even care if it makes me sound insane

etho, again, surprise surprise. the whole thing about a hero falling in love with a villain, and not just a villain, one of the most wanted villains in the world... all his friends think he's lost his mind. and one of his best friends was also in love with a villain. (not that etho would use the word love. its not- it's not love.)

he can't bring himself to care that they all think he's delusional for falling in love with such a cruel, selfish, arrogant, bad person. because he knows the truth — joel isn't a bad person. he could be cruel (god, he could be cruel) and arrogant, and selfish, and all those other things. but so could etho. so could literally everyone else. they were human. and sure, joel did some... not so good things. but, you know, he could ignore that. most of the time.

besides. joel was funny. and smart. and very, very attractive. and- well, he wasn't nice or kind or sweet, far from it, really, but etho didn't care about that. he kind of liked how mean joel was, actually. which probably meant there was something deeply wrong with etho. but. hey. yolo.

i ran my fingers through your hair and i thanked god to touch the flame

god. this line. banger line. even without relating it to anything. but with relating it to this au.... so much to say here. it's etho again. so etho talking about joel. sooooo etho so so so etho.

first of all, the flame part???? helloooo??? joel literally has fire powers... guys... i can't be the only one freaking out about this........

but back to the rest. honestly, when etho was with joel in his bedroom that day all the way back in the beginning, this lyric is very him. he gets to spend all this time with joel, and he knows he's going to regret it in the future, and that everything that's happening is a bad idea, and that he shouldn't be doing any of this, but when he looks at joel.... all he can feel is lucky that he gets to be there.

cause i swore necks were made for bruising i swore lips were made for lies

finally a joel-coded line! my boy!! gotta say something about the neck part because we all know about joel and necks LMAO.

anyways! this line being in past tense is very interesting to me, even just song-wise. almost like the person is talking about how their thinking has changed since the past, because of some.... event. or someone, even. this is very, very joel, because, as he complains about in the next part, he's gone soft. he used to have this same kind of thinking, this untrusting, suspicious mindset, but things have changed since then. he's got more trust in people. which he hates, for the record.

and i thought if you'd ever leave me that i'd be the reason why

back to etho because gosh i didn't know a line could fit something so well. joel, essentially, "breaks up" (even though they're not together) with etho because of his being a hero. not even for something he does, or some trait of his. if it had been that, if etho had messed up in some way, he would probably have been able to handle things a lot better. but, no, it was about something completely avoidable. something he didn't even really have control over. he's not even the reason joel leaves him.

if it's all experimental and you go back to safer things

joel!!! experimental.... safer things... these word choices are so very deliberate and so very relevant.

experimental — a hero being with a villain isn't exactly a tried and true option. and he's not exactly your regular guy. he's dangerous, reckless, violent, etc. the idea of someone like etho ever even liking him feels so unreal, and not even in, like, a positive way. it just seems impossible. they're so different. the most he can imagine it being is just a little bit of fun, something to keep etho from being bored.

safer things — oh, this makes me want to lose my mind. as i said before, etho being with joel would be anything but safe. not just due to joel's more... explosive (literally) tendencies, but also because the risk of the two of them being found out was very, very real, and would have extremely strong consequences. the idea that etho would choose safer things, like a normal person and a normal life, is very possible and, honestly, very likely, at least in joel's mind.

that's the most lyrics i can relate to my au without it being a bit of a stretch... unfortunately. but i very much recommend you go listen to the song, because even just off the vibes alone, it fits this au sooo well. if you have any other songs that remind you of this au please share im working on a playlist and would love some recs :):):):):))

also! a lot of the parts here are about things to come and things that happened earlier, they don't exactly reflect joel's and etho's thoughts about each other right now, because, well, joel kind of wants to beat etho up at this moment of time. so. yeah. it's either future or past them

anyways. the end. this is a lot longer than i thought it would be but i did have a lot to say, so i'm not very surprised. this also was a lot ramblier (is that a word? like, more ramble-y? it should be a word.) than i expected, but, you know, we ball. at some point i also started writing this as if it were a fic so i don't know what's going on there. this was kind of all over the place. my bad. anyways! hope you enjoyed. this is my first long post here, guys, don't let it flop. begging you.

[nisuna]

Edit: I have since posted the fic, check it out here!!

hi hello, so this isn't my official "comeback" yet as I'm currently sick in bed 😭 so this is just a little teaser and explanation of what I'm planning hehe

So I've had this idea for a long time, so long that it was the first fic I ever wanted to write down on this blog and the idea that motivated me to start writing in general, but things happened so yeah I'm only now finding the time to finally write for it

so basically, it's friends with benefits geto x f!reader, simple enough, right? Well, not quite (if you're not interested in too much detail, feel free to skip my rambling and scroll down for some excerpts and quotes 😘 they'll be below the cut)

It all happened one evening when your best friend came to pick you up from a party for the first time, being tipsy and sexually frustrated one thing led to another and you slept together and from then on it kind of became your guys' thing

Whenever you were out and didn't end up with someone, you called him and he actually came to pick you up

You've known each other for a few years but you just couldn't get yourself to call him Suguru, it's always Geto this Geto that, even tho he would really like you to just call him by his first name, but you're like no no no nonono I can't

And if that wasn't bad enough, your tipsy self always added -san, so it's Geto-san whenever he picks you up haha

You've done a lot already, anything dirty you could think of, been there done that, but no kissing bcs that's too intimate duh, like having a dick shoved so far up it's rearragning your guts isn't yeah yeah sweet denial

So this time there wasn't anything unusual about it, he picked you up like always and you were down to fuck so what's the worst that could happen?

he miiiighhtt make you call him by his first name and maybe just maybe you do finally kiss???!

I'm also down for maybe a prequel to the first time it happened?? 👀👀

But in any case, enjoy an excerpt from the beginning as well as some of my ideas and quotes I plan to include :D

He never understood why you liked going out to the most shabby and stuffed clubs. It reeked of alcohol and smoke mixed with all kinds of bodily fluids. As he was making his way through the dancing crowd of sweaty people grinding against each other, he finally found you sitting at the bar while some guy was leaning in your direction way too close for comfort.

He had his usual fit, hair half up with a black over sized sweater and loose black joggers. Making him look so huge that if there were any guys bothering you, they would leave you alone as soon as they saw him.

"Yo~ y/n", he touched your exposed shoulder and gave you his signature eye smile, before staring down the guy next to you that was trying to get in your pants or in this context in ypur skimpy little dress. The guys' annoyed look turned into a worried one after seeing who he was up against.

"Aahhh Geto-saannn you're here early" you mused, leaning against his hard chest. That damn honorific, he cursed but still managed to squeeze out a smile.

"Haha "-san", so you aren't her boyfriend then." the stranger snarled but soon gave up as Suguru raised an eyebrow at him and snapped a "watch it". "Alright, alright, I give up", he put his hands up in defeat. "Maybe next time, sweetcheeks."

As soon as the guy left Suguru took both of your hands in his and knelt down in front of you. "Y/n we've talked about this, if you don't want to call me Suguru at least drop the honorific. We've known each other for years now don't you think it's about time. Also, don't you think it's weird when you call the guy you fuck by his last name, hm?" He turned his head looking at you expectedly.

"But Geto-saaaan-"

"Ah ah, what did I just tell you"

"Okay okay, Geto" you huffed, "You know I'm not comfortable with that", you whined, squeezing his hands.

"I just want to hear you say it at least once. Say it and I'll fuck you real good tonight.", he smirked.

You considered it, after a hard week you really needed a good fuck. "Sugu-", is all you could manage before snapping your head away, "Nope can't do it."

He let his head drop with a loud sigh. "It's alright. It looks like I was just pushing my luck. C'mon, let's get you out of here." And with that, he rose back to his full height, grabbed your hand and pulled you from the bar stool. While making your way through the crowd and to his car, your thoughts kept wandering.

Suguru... that's such a pretty name.

----------

"What's up with you today? If you keep squeezing me that hard you might actually snap my dick off.", he chuckled. He's way to cocky. You have to do something about that.

"Have I ever told you how annoying you can be. If you don't stop talking, I think I might have to shut that mouth of yours up myself.", you whispered putting your hands on his cheeks and pulling his face close so that it was right in front of yours.

--------

"Is it okay? Does it hurt?"

"No, it feels really good. I can feel you all the way up here", you smiled, leaning back and tracing your fingers from your pubic bone to just over your belly button.

"Fuck, you can't just say those things out of the blue" he mumbled sitting up, finally starting to pound into you from below.

"Wow that did it, huh?" you chuckled arching your back and clawing at his shoulders. "How naive, men are so simple." you kept that thought to yourself tho.

----

"Wait", you mumbled against his lips. "Don't pull out. Keep fucking me. Hurry up." How could he say no to you, even if he felt like he was about to die from overstimulation, he couldn't possibly deny you.

-----

"Fuck, I'm hard again"

"Then keep going."

-----

Look forward to the whole thing as soon as I feel better🙈🙈🙈 and feel free to let me know what you think!❤️