#been a while since i last rambled here haha

[neo-shitty]

🦷.

[melverie]

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

[mysumeow]

. . . ꒰ TO LURE IN

ᓚᘏᗢ WARNINGS: Reader is described with AFAB genitalia and breasts, referred to with you/your. YANDERE CHARACTER. Kidnapping, mild descriptions of injuries and blood. As for sexual content: piv unprotected sex, reader on top, restraints (ropes used on reader), thighjob. Kinich takes a dominant role. Not proofread 🙈. Art by 0_0himawa

ᓚᘏᗢ SUMMARY: You suspect Kinich's not taking care of himself well. Used to looking out for him since childhood, you decide to find out by yourself the truth.

ᓚᘏᗢ WORD COUNT: 3.6k

Ajaw’s fame preceded him.

Rude, spiteful, and tactless, to be precise. The “Almighty Dragon” lived for pushing his companion’s buttons as far as possible, making fun of him, and expressing his desire for him to perish soon.

That’s the reason why you didn’t believe Ajaw when he “informed” you Kinich put himself in harm’s way on purpose so you would heal his wounds.

Your reaction was to obviously scoff at him and disregard his stupid statement.

“I still remember that time you tried to trick people into jumping off a cliff without a rope. I wouldn’t believe a word that comes from someone like you.”

“Fine! Allow yourself to be manipulated by this moron, be my guest!” Ajaw mouthed off in his typical Ajaw style. “Your puny human brain won’t let you see the obvious signs!”

Kinich was unfazed by the self-proclaimed dragon lord, used to his antics. “Shut up, or I’ll put you in time out. Do you want that?”

While they were bickering, you assessed his physique.

Overall, he was fine. However, he came back with gashes on his left arm. They were dripping with blood, and yet he was more focused on trying to quiet Ajaw down.

“Though target this time?” You gently held his wounded arm to get a clear view of how deep it was. Contrary to last time you cured a begrudging Kinich, this one was longer.

“It’s barely anything to get worried about. I was going to cure it myself before coming here, but I got caught up with something before I could,” he said, moving his arm away from your touch, not deeming the help necessary. “This happens all the time.”

“Knowing you, you’ll just go on with your day. Come here, let me help you.”

You expected Kinich to resist again, but he didn’t. He followed you into your home and waited for you to come back with whichever supply you needed to heal him. Kinich observed you in silence, his half-lidded eyes surveyed your every movement as if you were his next hunt while you rinsed the wounds and whatnot to disinfect them.

It was hard to concentrate with him staring at you.

“You’re lucky those aren’t deep enough to need stitches.” You eased the tension and backed away with a step. “I don’t know how you got those cuts, but be more careful.”

“It was caused by an oversight of mine. Not a common occurrence for me,” he looked down at the gauze wrapped around his arms. “I thought the trap I set for the yumkasaur was stable, and when I got close to it, it lunged its claws at me.” 

Ajaw, who was silent up until now, quipped back with, “Yeah, not a common occurrence for a seasoned hunter to make such a rookie mistake!”

In the blink of an eye, he was gone. Kinich sent him to Ajaw Jail.

“I’m sorry if he gave you a headache with all that shouting.”

“I’m used to it. When he talks, I kind of zone out, haha.”

Kinich chuckled. “That’s how I deal with his ramblings most of the time, too.”

As much as you enjoyed Kinich’s company, the sun was setting and you both had work to do the next morning. The pleasant encounter had to be cut short.

The following couple of weeks, Kinich stopped visiting you for injury-related motives. Given you’ve been close since childhood, it wasn’t uncommon for you two to visit each other every so often. 

You were starting to wonder about his sudden lack of visits, until he appeared in front of your doorstep suddenly. He wasn’t alone, though. 

“Smack some reason into him, please.” Mualani begged, making it sound like the missing piece to understand Kinich’s psyche was you. “I had to drag him all the way here before he died from blood loss. He didn’t want to come.” 

“You’re exaggerating,” was everything he had to say in his favor. “I just didn’t want to cause an inconvenience.”

The poor fabric of his upper clothes was torn apart with a clean cut across his chest. Lacerations caused by saurians were different. This one? It was kindred to the result of a dagger or another man-made weapon. You recalled Ajaw’s insistence on Kinich’s growing carelessness.

“Hey, are you okay?” Mualani interjected, concerned by your abrupt silence.

“Ah, yes, I’m fine.” You shook your head out of your thoughts and walked closer to Kinich to have a good look at him.

“Okay, then. It’s just, for a moment, you seemed antsy…” Your friend’s troubled expression relaxed, and, at your assurance, she went back to her bubbly mood. “We’ve been witnesses to worse wounds than that. Especially you, since you’re a doctor.”

“No doubt about it,” you nodded and went back to Kinich. “I’ll have to stitch this. This one has been one of the worst I’ve seen you come back with. What it a miscalculation?”

“It wasn’t a miscalculation. I was commissioned by someone, and when I got to the place they requested, I was ambushed.”

“You were outnumbered in combat, and yet all they got to inflict on you was this? That’s impressive, I’ve got to say,” Mualani nodded along with Kinich’s story.

You led Kinich to his usual seat, and you got to work.

“Kinich’s a seasoned warrior,” you couldn’t help but praise. “However! If you must retreat, then retreat! It’s not worth your effort trying to put some bitter folks in their place.”

“Mmh.”

“You better listen to the doctor’s advice, Kinich! I won’t forgive you if you keep putting the doctor under stress,” Mualani sighed and crossed her arms, contemplative, before she looked at you. “You’ve always been taking care of Kinich, since you both were children. I value your patience.”

Once your handiwork was ready, you gave your patient a word of caution.

“You should rest for the following three weeks, or else your wound could open again.”

For some reason, Kinich was taken aback by your instructions. He blinked twice, analyzing what you just said.

“I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“Put them on hold. Three weeks,” you insisted and placed your hands on his forearms, Kinich’s eyes locked on yours.

“Alright.” With a resigned tone, he agreed and got ready to leave.

Mualani stayed for a little longer.

“You said you had to drag him here? Why?” You couldn’t help but wonder. Now that he was gone, it was your time to question.

“You know how he is. He isn’t fond of receiving help from anyone, and he was convinced he could deal with it himself.”

“Mualani… I’m worried about him. Ajaw mentioned something about Kinich being inattentive on purpose during his hunts. I found it hard to believe because: why would he have a reason to do that? And second, I don’t trust Ajaw.”

She stayed in contemplative silence for a second. “You’re right, that’s unlike him. Hm… I’ll keep an eye on him for you.”

“Thank you,” you felt a bit more at ease. “It’s getting late. You should head home and rest.”

“You should rest too. See you.” She smiled and waved a hand at you.

To rest, it was something you wanted to do. Nonetheless, your worry regarding Kinich wouldn’t allow it. You paced back and forth, trying to figure out whether you were overthinking or whether your unease had an actual foundation.

You supposed Kinich’s line of work was prone to lesions, even if talking about someone experienced. There were factors that one simply can’t have under control always. He wasn’t one to come back this bruised and damaged this often. 

Maybe something was bothering him? Was something keeping him up at night? That could explain his lack of attention during the day.

The more you pondered about it, the more uncertainty grew with it. You were antsy and thus decided to go see him. You had a hunch something wrong was about to happen, and you couldn’t ignore the feeling. 

He had to be home. If he really heeded your instructions, then he should be there.

The lights in his house were off. He was probably in bed already.

You felt silly. You were fretting over nothing.

As you were about to head back to your house, footsteps caught your attention.

The urge to question him about what he was doing outside instead of resting was strong, however…

You decided it was a better idea to limit yourself to observation.

Despite Kinich’s forwardness, he could be reticent about opening up about certain things. Since you’ve known him for a good portion of your life, you suspected that if you were to outright ask him about what was going on with him recently, he would try to convince you nothing was amiss.

And thus, this was how you found yourself following him in the dead of night. Concealed in complete darkness, and said darkness became more apparent once you were out of the comfort of human inhabited areas. The thought of turning back was tempting, but your resolve for answers was sturdier.

You followed him into the forest and made sure to keep up with him as much as possible. Thankfully, Kinich’s stride was tranquil the whole time. He arrived at a clearing and sat his bags down. You stayed behind the foliage and noticed he brought with him a camping tent.

You didn’t know the details of how exactly he plans his hunts, but you surmised that perhaps this camping arrangement had something to do with it.

So, he wasn’t planning on resting.

“You—”

Before you could finish your reprimand, you stepped on something that awoke a contraption. In the blink of an eye, a rope quickly secured around your ankle, leaving you upside down.

At the sound, Kinich was swift on his feet and found you.

“…”

“…”

“What are you doing?”

“Does it look like I’m having fun here? Help me already!” You were flustered.

He took a Swiss knife out of his pocket to cut the rope. He caught you in time and didn’t suffer harm.

“Now, will you answer my question?” He placed you back on the ground gently.

You exhaled, making your stress clear. “You’ve been acting strange as of late. Plus, I wanted to make sure you would take a break and allow your wounds to heal. That’s why…”

“You stalked me?” He finished for you.

“I was worried, okay?” You huffed, feeling the rise in heat on your face again. By definition, he was right. That didn’t mean it was any less embarrassing for you.

“Pfft—”

Kinich, whose face was in his usual serious expression, switched to a smile. He covered his mouth as he chuckled; for some reason, he’d found amusement in your confession.

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just—” His soft laughter died down a bit, allowing him to speak. “I knew you were following me.”

You gaped at him.

“I wanted to see how you would try to explain yourself. Again, I’m sorry. Both for poking fun at you and for making you worry.”

“If you think a simple apology’s enough for my forgiveness, you’re wrong. I’m going back home.”

He grabbed your wrist before you could take another step away. “You won’t make it. You’ll get lost. Stay with me.”

Kinich’s watchful eyes glinted with intent under the moonlight.

“There’s enough space for the two of us in there.” He began setting the tent up with ease. He was used to sleeping outdoors and knew how to set it up with little hindrance.

“Hey, where’s Ajaw? I haven’t seen him today.”

“In timeout.”

Whereupon it was ready for use, he waited for you to get in before he zipped the entrance behind him.

For reduced space like this, the tent inside looked comfortable.

“Huh, this is more spacious than what I expected. Do you often…?”

Your voice lowered in surprise when you saw him slide his jumpsuit off, leaving him in the black clothes he wore under it. Was he really going to undress with you in here?

“You were saying?”

“Uhm. I was going to ask if you often camp outside to complete hunting commissions...”

“Whenever I deem it necessary. For example, if I think the target will give me more trouble than other ones,” he undid his headband and folded it next to his discarded jumpsuit. Kinich without his headband, was a rare sight, one that you didn’t mind being a witness to.

“Oh. So, this target you’re going after, is it more challenging?”

His eyes fixed on you for a second, inspecting you. “It is. Also, are you going to sleep like that?”

You haven’t even shrugged your coat off.

Well, of course you wouldn’t. But... you thought maybe it would be a better idea to wait for him to turn the lamp off, at least.

While you were contemplating, Kinich undid the harness and took his upper clothes off in a swift motion.

“Ah! Careful when you rise your arms!” You went to check that the suture didn’t open. “Aren’t you in pain? You did move quite brutishly there,”  

“It does hurt,” albeit his words, he didn’t show discomfort the instance your fingers trailed close to the suture.

“I didn’t know you wore a second pair of pants under that jumpsuit. You’re going to give yourself a heatstroke,” you chastised him in an attempt to ignore your racing heart. “What if you get in real trouble and I’m not in the village if you need me?”

It wasn’t unusual for him to be silent, but this one went on for a second longer. That was the impression you got. It prompted you to meet his unyielding gaze, words abandoned at the back of your throat.

 Kinich leaned in, a soft kiss that feathered on your lips. You found purchase by placing your hands on his shoulders as the intensity heightened. You couldn’t ignore the softness of his lips, or the way his hands traveled down the small of your back, or how he stopped breathing while he devoured your mouth—mind set on stealing your breath away. The absolute appetite enraptured you as he chased your lips and tongue.

A momentary halt was necessary for him to rid you of your clothes. You watched him pull your coat off, to then redirect his attention to the buttons of your shirt. When the time to remove your lower garments arrived, you tried to give him a hand; however, Kinich interrupted your attempt by summoning one of his ropes to tie your wrists over your head. The same green ropes you would see him use when he wanted to grapple quickly to a high place, the ones he mastered after the attainment of his Vision.

You shot him an inquisitive glance.

“Seeing you like this turns me on a lot.”

“Kinich!” you were baffled. You didn’t expect him to be this forward about his desires.

“Sorry. Too blunt? Then…” in thought, he put a finger on his chin. “The sight of your bare body at my mercy is a delectable view that...turns me on.”

Typical Kinich. He doesn’t know how to be tactful.

He hooked his thumbs under your underwear and discarded it. Now that there were no barriers between your body and his, his hand continued to its destination: between your legs.

First, he collected your juices on his thumb before he toyed with your clit, rubbing it in circles as he noted each little jolt and twitch he provoked on you. You whined his name, wishing you could reach out to him and tease his body like he was doing to yours.

“You should untie me. It should be me taking care of you,” you said, remembering his stitches.

“Later.”

“Later? Oh—”

Kinich had grabbed your thighs and parted them with unprecedented strength. Open and ready for him, Kinich slipped his dick in between your thighs and pushed them close again. At his own leisure, he jutted his hips forward, getting off with them. A rapid buildup of precum formed on the tip, droplets of it slid down his member after some minutes.

The back-and-forth movements stimulated your clit, causing your pussy to clench around nothing. Sighs and soft moans escaped from his mouth and he threw his head back, his Adam’s apple bobbed. 

The pace he set became faster and the grip on your skin tighter.

“Hey. Gently. The stitches…!” you babbled, hanging on to that sliver of clarity amidst the pleasure.

Your warning did little to deter him from chasing the high he was after. The tent filled with the sounds of his lower body smacking into yours with a hasty need; you weren’t used to seeing Kinich fall victim to his impulses. If he maintained that angle and pace, you would come anytime soon.

Which happened. You arched your back off the bed, and your legs came to wrap around him, keeping his body flush to yours. With a sharp inhale, Kinich’s movement ceased, eyebrows deeply furrowed as he did his best to not follow you after your orgasm. He wanted to be inside of you, after all.

You register the rustling of sheets while he adjusts your positions.

He grabbed your hips to place you on top of him, his back against the bed.

Through half-lidded eyes, he peers at you with unbridled hunger. The way he leered at your body, at the hickeys and bite marks left behind... Against odds, your libido reignited.

The head of his cock nudged into your entrance; a hitched moan escaped you. You were sensitive after your first orgasm, after all. Your flesh might be tender, but the desire didn’t die down yet. You were thankful that Kinich waited for you, hands patiently in place on your hips.

You relaxed your muscles and sank further down on his dick. Your pussy stretched around it, slick and ready for his size. His fingers dug deeper into you when you did, and despite Kinich’s effort to preserve his controlled expressions, the heaved breath he exhaled betrayed him.

Kinich’s cock filled you pleasantly, stroking at every pleasant spot inside of you. His grasp on your hips moved to your tits to pinch your nipples with his thumbs and forefinger.

“Please…Kinich. Untie me,” you panted. “I want to touch you, too.”

“You can already touch me, even with those binding you.” To show you what he meant, he led your hands towards his sweaty abdomen, your palms flat against it. You could feel his muscles tense and flex like that, rise and fall to meet your hips.

You wanted more than that. Why was he being cruel?

You pleaded again.

This time, Kinich was considerate and untied you.

“Ah—fuck—” he gasped when you rode him faster.

He kept his fingers stroking on your clit. When that sought climax happened, you keened and came around his cock. At last, that urge was satisfied. Kinich’s arms wrapped around you to bring your torso towards him while he came, thrusting with conviction and shooting his cum inside. 

Kinich didn’t let go, his toned arms kept you in a hug. He didn’t pull out yet either; the thought didn’t cross his mind. The proximity of your bodies—addicting to him, he wasn’t ready to release you.

Your exhaustion caused you to fall asleep almost immediately.

The next morning, you stirred awake.

Your joints ached. Well, other parts of your body ached, to be honest. That wasn’t what bothered you in this moment, but the sensation of...

Where were you?

At the realization that you were no longer in the comfort of the tent or in the position you slept in last night, you panicked.

You recognized this place. It was Kinich’s house. Your inspection traveled to the ropes that restricted your wrists and ankles.

“Good morning, Kinich,” you heard the voice of someone outside. “I stopped by here yesterday, but you weren’t here. Were you hunting?”

“Yes.”

“Ah, I see. I should’ve imagined,” the man said with amusement in his voice. “Anyway, I came here to tell you that the chief...”

Your first instinct was to call for help, but the cloth gag prevented you from that. You stopped listening to the conversation those two were having in pro of freeing yourself.

The noise of a door opening and closing made you freeze. Kinich entered the room. His eyes found yours, and you had to gather the entirety of your willpower to not lash out at him when he crouched down to remove the gag.

This was your childhood friend. Surely you could try to dialogue with him? Or was it mere wishful thinking?

“What’s going on, Kinich? Is this…some kind of twisted joke?”

“Have I ever done something like that?” That damned flat tone of his—like he wasn’t taking you seriously. “From today, you’ll stay here. With me.”

“You can’t be for real,” you stammered in disbelief at his revelation. “You’re not planning on holding me here forever, right?” 

“That depends on you. If you behave, I’m willing to negotiate with you.”

You’d been in shock this whole time, but the severity of the situation you were in finally dawned upon you. A painful tightness which sprouted from your chest extended to the rest of your body. Not once had you imagined Kinich betraying you this way. To be capable of such treachery, toy with your feelings and whisk you away from the outside world.

“I can’t believe you’re less trustworthy than Ajaw. Was he telling me the truth all this time? That you were placing yourself in danger so I... would nurse you back to health?”

“Ah, that,” Kinich crossed his arms, his fingers tapped on the side of his arm. His answer took longer than what you felt comfortable with. You grew wary of what he would confess next. “It’s not exactly what you think it is. I just wanted to lure you into my trap.” 

[gguk-n]

In Another Life (Max Verstappen x Reader)

Summary- Max just lost the love of his life, the woman he wanted to marry and the woman who was carrying his child. What happens when he transports to a place where she might exist? Does he finally get his happily ever after?

Warning- Angst, Major character death

{Max's POV}

My world came crashing down after that fateful call I received. I was in Qatar for the race weekend; my fiance Y/N didn't join me because she had been feeling unwell. I had just gotten off of the podium when a member of the RedBull team brought my phone. It was an unknown caller; I answered the call to "Is this Mr. Max Verstappen?" the voice asked. "yes" I replied, my heart started to beat a little louder and faster then it did after races. "I'm calling from the Princess Grace Hospital. You are Miss Y/N Y/L/N's emergency contact." they continued. "yes" I replied, a bad feeling making it's way to the pit of my stomach. "Is she ok? What happened? Why is she at the hospital and why are you calling me?" I rambled almost racing to the driver's room to change and leave. "We're sorry to inform you but Miss Y/L/N is no more" they said remorsefully. "What?" I stammered. "We tried our best but the collision was catastrophic. I'm sorry for your loss." they said. I stood still, in the middle of the paddock. My legs felt numb, "You're lying. She can't be dead" I screamed catching everyone's attention. People started to whisper, "Do something, you have to save her. You're doctors for fucks sake. Bring my girlfriend back. NOW" I bellowed. "I'm coming, I'm out of the country right now, but I want my girlfriend well and healthy by the time I'm there" I said finally gaining the feeling in my legs and ended the call.

Carlos, Charles, Lando and Checo were now standing next to me. "Everything OK?" Charles asked. I laughed, "It was the hospital, they were spewing nonsense that Y/N is dead. I spoke to her before the race. She was on the way back from the hospital. They say she's dead, haha. What a load of bull?" I said. All of their faces had dropped, Charles had moved forward to pat my back and Carlos wrapped me in a hug. "It's okay" Carlos muttered. "NO, NO. She can't be gone. We were gonna get married and have kids and not make them race car drivers since the sport gave her anxiety. Carlos this can't be true" I cried; my resolve breaking while Carlos hugged me tighter holding me up and patting my back. The flight back to Monaco was a blur, I don't remember how I got to the hospital, I don't remember filling out any forms, I don't remember her dad hugging me as they showed Y/N's lifeless body to me. What I remember is her face and it had a few scratches, her hands bruised, she looked peacefully asleep. I reached forward holding her hand in mine, "How could you leave me? You know how much I hate this world. You're the only thing that made it worth living for." I cried. The doctors entered the room and handed me the stuff she was carrying, "Here are her belongings. I'm very sorry for your loss, sir." he said handing me her stuff and a hospital file. I opened up the file to find an ultrasound scan and a report saying that she was pregnant. I fell down on the floor, "We were going to have a kid" I whispered which her father heard; I heard a wail leave his lips.

We buried her in a cemetery in her home town surrounded by flowers and greenery. I spent too much time there; I missed a few races too. But I was back before the final races; I didn't win a single race after her death. But when I stood on top of the podium as the World Driver's Champion of 2023, I didn't celebrate. How could I when the person who celebrated my every win was no where to be seen. I flew back to meet her after the race. As I was sat at her grave; "I won the championship for the third time. It didn't feel it though. You should've been there. I know I know, you must be angry since I missed 3 races and lost the last two. But you told me that the points were enough for me to win; so I won for us and our little one. How are you two? Both of you must be in heaven if there is a heaven. I wish I could say that I hope we meet but I don't think I'll make it heaven ever. I hope our child is happy. I love you lifde. You took a part of me when you left" I whispered, placing the bouquet of roses; a tradition I started after winning my first championship.

After the funeral, I was given Y/N's phone and messages were open; there was an unsent message. "Baby, I know you're racing rn, hope you win like always. btw, I went to the doctor and guess what? I'm pregnant. We're gonna have a mini Max soon. I know you'll be the best dad ever. I love you" it read. My tears didn't stop. I was robbed of a future I always dreamt of with her. That asshole drove while drunk, why did he deserve to live, why did he deserve to wake up every morning but the love of my life didn't? Why did he get to go back home when I couldn't even bring my girlfriend and kid back home? I hope he rots, I hope when I meet him he doesn't get to walk away from me for stealing the best thing that ever was mine.

The off season was torture, I spent my time laying in bed while my friends and family came over to make sure I ate and showered. They tried to get me to clean the house but I had left it untouched since the day she left. I wasn't ready to let her go just yet. Her parents would come in occasionally to check up on me. Her dad was currently sat at our table while I ate the food her mom made, "Max, you need to move on. Y/N must be suffering, watching you like this." he said. "I hope she is, she doesn't get to leave and expect me to be normal" I spoke. "Max, we love you. You are my son; I can't watch you like this. Y/N would want you to move on and live with the happy memories you two made." he said. "I know, I just need time" I mumbled while tears streamed down my face. He gave me a hug and then left. I wasn't ready, I don't think I'll ever be ready.

I didn't attend the pre season training until Horner dragged me. We spent some time but I couldn't focus. I was supposed to fly out to Bahrain in a week for the first race of the season. I don't remember when I fell asleep but I woke up to a much cleaner apartment. It pissed me off, so I called Lando who answered in a few seconds. "Who the fuck cleaned my apartment? I told you I would do it at my pace" I screamed. "Mate, no one entered your house. I don't know what you're talking about" he replied. "Don't fuck with me. Where's all of Y/N's stuff. It's missing" I said. "Who's Y/N?" he asked. "Don't fuck with me Lando. You know who Y/N is" I cried. "Max, I really don't. Was it the girl you took home the other day?" he questioned. I was annoyed and cut the call.

After some searching and the whole house being devoid of any sign of Y/N I decided to call her but my phone didn't have her contact. I flew to where her grave was which was missing. Everything was strange, I don't know why but I googled myself. That's when I saw it, my ex's name wasn't Y/N and she didn't die in a car crash. With time I realised that I was in an alternate universe where we had never met. A world where I didn't know Y/N existed was the worst kind but it gave me hope that maybe Y/N was alive in this universe. Maybe, I was here to meet her, to have the chance that was robbed from me. I spent my time racing, making sure I won every race so that incase she watched Formula One she knew about me. I would explore each city in hopes of running into her.

It was during Silverstone weekend when I went to the cafe the day after the race. It was very early so there weren't many people around. I walked into the cafe when I heard it, the voice that brought a smile to my face, there she stood. My Y/N, at the counter ordering her coffee, Iced Spanish Latte she said, her favourite. I smiled at her before walking towards the counter. I ordered and went to stand next to her while I waited for the order. She turned towards and smiled nervously, "You're Max Verstappen, right?" she asked. I nodded. "Oh my God, I'm a huge fan. Sorry to bother you but can I get a picture with you?" she asked. I agreed and we ended up taking a picture and talking after grabbing our drinks. She looked the same, her hair flowed down her back, her face had those moles I loved to kiss, her bright smile and infectious laughter. She was an avid Formula One fan from what I got. I offered her tickets to the next race which she denied politely. She got up to bid me farewell, "Will you go out with me?" I blurted, I hoped that she would say yes. "I'm sorry Max, but I have a boyfriend" she mumbled apologetically. I nodded, "It's ok. I'm sorry about this" I muttered. "No, no, I'm sorry for giving the wrong impression. I'll get going. Thanks for the picture and autograph though" she said while she walked away from my life for the second time.

A couple races later, I saw her again. This time at the paddock, I greeted her as she entered wearing Ferrari paddock passes. I eyed the card on her neck before she said that she was here with her boyfriend. I nodded along and watched her walk towards the Ferrari hospitality. It was media day and we were supposed to go get interviewed when she walked in with Carlos. He introduced her to us as his girlfriend. My heart shattered as I watched her peck his lips. She was kind, loving and understanding like she always was. I couldn't watch Carlos have what was once mine. In this universe, she never was mine. It hurt to watch her laugh at his jokes or kiss him or hug him. It hurt so much to watch her be in love with a man that wasn't me. I couldn't help but look at her longingly, there was a sort of pain in my eyes that only she caught it seems. Because she asked to speak to me as soon as I had come to the paddock on race day. I took her to my driver's room where we sat down.

"What's up Max? You look at me like a puppy that's been kicked. You look at me like I have hurt you beyond repair" she asked. I breathed out, "What if I told you I wasn't from this universe?" I asked. "I would say you're crazy" she said. "But I was, I was from a time line where I was gonna marry the love of my life, the woman that made life worth living. The universe where I wasn't only winning on track but also in real life because of her. We'd been together for 5 years and were planning a life together. I had proposed and she couldn't join me for my Qatar race last year because she was sick, I wish she had. Then then..... It was because she was carrying our child, she had gone to the doctor and found out but she was never able to tell me in person, I found out later. Then I get a call from the hospital saying that some asshole killed her in a drunk driving accident when she was returning home. I fly back to find her lifeless body. I haven't gotten over her yet, I missed races and performed poorly. But what could I do when I lost my life. Then one day I wake up here, a universe where we've never met and I spend all my time looking for her and then I find her at a cafe. We talk, she's a fan" she looked at me expectantly with tears in her eyes,"I'm sorry" she mumbled. "I ask her out but she has a boyfriend. Then we meet at the race and every time I see her my heart breaks watching them because that was me. She looked just like you, sounded just like you, was just like you with the same name." I cried, finally breaking down. She wrapped her arms around me as my body shook while sobs ripped through my chest.

"Max, if alternate universes are real and you are from another and lost the love of your life that looked exactly like me. I'm sorry. But I know, that she...I mean me from that universe wouldn't want you to mope. She would want you to move on. She would look down at you and make sure you were safe during every race, She would hope that you found half the happiness you gave her. She would want you to be yourself and not let this affect you. I can't tell you to move on now, but I can tell you to take your time. She wants you to always be happy. Please, take care of yourself. Be happy. Remember her but move on for her sake if not yours" she said all the while hugging me. I cried for a very long time and she embraced me until I let her go. She wiped away my tears and had me drink water. We walked out while I went to race and she went to Ferrari.

I won the race and headed back home after the weekend. When I went to sleep, I woke up back in my apartment. How did I know it was mine and not the other universe is because there was a paper next to the table that read, "I'm sorry for your loss. I cleaned up the space a bit but there are pictures of the whole house as it was before with all her memories in a couple boxes in the closet. I went to her grave with her dad too. I got her flowers. I hope you can move on. P.S We're leading the championship, hope you didn't throw mine away" I laughed after reading the note. Like it said, all the stuff was in the cupboard and there were pictures. I smiled at the boxes, I guess Y/N was the one who intervened because she knew I needed this. I walked out to the balcony and looked up at the sky before saying, "I'll live better. I'll make you proud, just you watch and then I'll come to you whenever you want me too"

[gingaseiun]

I haven't really shared this with anyone except my close friends, but I used to dream of having my own TV show. I would write scripts and brainstorm countless ideas for what my perfect show could be. When I got to college, I focused on one particular show concept that had been with me since high school. I wrote a really rough script, created a show bible, and even drafted a letter to send out to production teams....but I never had the courage to actually send it. I was too scared, honestly, haha. The characters and the shows still pop into my head from time to time, and I keep reimagining and redesigning them. At one point, I even commissioned artists to bring them to life. I got hyperfixated on it all. The one thing that held me back was the fear that nobody would like the show. I feel like there's still time to make it happen, but, nervously, I keep wondering, "What's the point?" So here I am, just rambling about it on my blog.

Soooooooo below will be me rambling about the show and characters

The show itself was called Heart Failure, and it revolved around cupids doing their jobs Sometimes successfully, sometimes....not!

(Logo made by Discord: aikozu)

One of the main characters, Sorbet Clairmont, was a serious, no-nonsense cupid who had dedicated millennia to her work in Aetheria, though in Earth time, it had only been about ten years. The show played with that contrast a lot, making jokes about her "ancient" experience compared to how young she would seem to humans.

Born in the Realm of Aetheria, Sorbet was a prodigy from a young age, deeply attuned to the emotions around her. As a child, she had witnessed love in all its messy, beautiful forms joyful reunions, painful goodbyes, and everything in between. Those experiences convinced her she was destined to help others find connections. Over time, she became one of the best, known for crafting love arrows that perfectly captured the emotions she aimed to inspire.

But her success came with a cost. The more skilled she became, the more isolated she felt. Her sharp tongue and brusque demeanor kept most people at a distance, and though many admired her work, very few actually wanted to get close. She told herself that was fine—less emotional entanglement meant fewer distractions. Still, even in the rough first draft of my script, her loneliness seeped through in her sarcastic remarks, like: "Fingers crossed they last longer than a houseplant," and "This better not be another annoying mission... Last time, they sent me to sort out romance at a retirement home. I’ve barely heard the end of it from the other divisions."

(Art below is made by Discord: jijicomms)

The story really started to pick up when Sorbet was assigned a trainee, Lyris Arrowheart. To her, it felt like a punishment rather than an opportunity, one more thing to slow her down. But Lyris’s earnestness and clumsy enthusiasm stirred something in her, something she had buried a long time ago: the simple, genuine desire to connect.

Now, the other main character is my little failure, Lyris. I love Lyris.

Lyris Arrowheart grew up in a prestigious family of Cupids, where success was expected, and anything less felt like failure. His parents often boasted about their achievements. How they effortlessly paired soulmates and ignited love stories that became legendary in Aetheria. From a young age, Lyris felt the crushing pressure to live up to that legacy.

But school was a different story. While his classmates excelled at crafting love arrows and navigating emotional auras, Lyris struggled just to keep up. His daydreaming often got the better of him, causing him to miss critical lessons. No matter how hard he tried, he always seemed a step behind, more of a spectator in a world that demanded precision and excellence.

When he finally graduated, it was less a moment of triumph and more a quiet sigh of relief, overshadowed by lingering doubts. Though he technically passed, the weight of his family’s expectations stayed with him.

One of my favorite little moments for Lyris comes from his introduction in the first script I wrote:

He awkwardly waves at Sorbet, his hands trembling so badly that he nearly drops his bow. He fumbles it, juggling it between both hands before finally managing to hold it steady and wave again, bowing slightly. In the middle of it all, his glasses slip off and shatter loudly on the floor. Frozen in mortification, Lyris immediately covers his face, his cheeks flushing a deep red.

(Art below is made by Discord: jijicomms)

Both of them were always meant to be contrasts to each other, and honestly, I love that about them. Sorbet is sharp, serious, and guarded, while Lyris is clumsy, warm, and endlessly earnest. The idea was for them to become close, just not romantically. I’m sure if the show ever actually existed, some people would end up shipping them anyway (it's inevitable, haha), but there’s a reason they were never meant to be love interests. Their bond was always supposed to show that deep, meaningful connections don't have to be romantic to be important.

There are other characters in the show too, like Elysia.

Elysia is Sorbet’s advisor (and the advisor for a few other characters I’ll bring up later). In Heart Failure, an advisor is a Cupid who assigns other Cupids their missions, called "Moments," on Earth. They are the ones who organize and oversee the work behind the scenes.

Elysia is an advisor cupid and one of the senior chair Cupids of the Embassy of Love, specifically within the Branch of Love. She plays a pivotal role in guiding and mentoring younger Cupids, including Sorbet. With her sharp insight into the complexities of love, Elysia carefully selects each Cupid’s assignments, choosing missions that challenge and help them grow.

Known for her direct, no-nonsense attitude, Elysia takes her responsibilities seriously, making sure every mission is approached with care and precision. Beneath her stern, professional exterior, there is a surprising warmth, kind of like a piece of dark chocolate: a little bitter at first, but sweet once you get past the surface. Her "tough love" approach sometimes frustrates those she mentors, but in the end, she is exactly the kind of guide they need, even if they do not realize it right away.

(Art below is made by Discord: jijicomms)

Another character you would see in the show is Noelle Glaciamour.

Noelle is best known for melting people's cold hearts, the ones that are guarded, frozen over, and untrusting of love. She represents the emotional state of those who have closed themselves off from love or are hesitant to embrace it because of past pain, betrayal, or fear of vulnerability. Her role as a Cupid revolves around rekindling warmth and breaking through the icy walls that surround these hearts.

Now, Noelle’s backstory is touched on in the show, and I won't get too deep into it right now, but there’s one thing that really sets her apart. Unlike most of the Cupids in Heart Failure, she doesn’t really have wings anymore. Instead, she has little torn-off nubs on her back. Something that hints at the struggles she's faced without needing many words.

(Art below is made by Discord: jijicomms)

Now, you can't talk about love without talking about heartbreak. And unfortunately, that means we have to talk about him.

Valen Amour. The bane of Sorbet's existence. The so-called "Emissary of Love," though if you ask Sorbet, he’s more like the embodiment of everything wrong with the system. He’s smug, insufferable, and somehow still manages to be good at his job. The worst kind of person, honestly.

Valen started working as a Cupid around the same time Sorbet did, but unlike her, he made a career out of meddling. Early on, he would intentionally disrupt the pairs Sorbet painstakingly matched, reassigning them with a smug smile and claiming he had found "better matches." His reckless (and, to Sorbet's eternal frustration, often effective) methods got him fast-tracked to elite Cupid status way faster than anyone expected, or deserved.

Growing up, Valen never really had to struggle for anything. Success just sort of fell into his lap. Naturally, that carried into his work. When he was effortlessly placed in the Heartbreak Branch of the Embassy of Love, it only reinforced his belief that he knew better than everyone else. In his mind, instinct always beats strategy, and if he had to step on a few toes to prove it, so be it.

Even his wings set him apart. While most Cupids bear pure white wings, Valen’s are a smoky dark gray, fitting for someone who thrives not in creating new love but in pulling apart the old.

(Art below is made by Discord: jijicomms)

Now, I want to finish off my yapping session with world building. Even though theres tons(not really) of side characters I could yap endeless about. Here’s a more concise breakdown of Aetheria and its rulers. The Cupids live in a hidden realm called Aetheria, beyond the sight of mortals. As the narrator in my poorly written pilot script says:

"Beyond the sight of mortals, hidden from the world of Earth, lies the Realm of Aetheria. The sacred home of the Cupids. Born from the will of the god of love, this world is one where emotion shapes reality itself. Here, Cupids glide through skies of golden threads, each movement carrying whispers of everlasting devotion. It is a place where love is born and nurtured. Where every letter to a secret crush, every fleeting desire, is delivered by the hands of the Cupids, guiding hearts toward their destined connections."

Aetheria was once ruled by Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, who created the Cupid lineage before retiring and passing control to her son, Eros, the primordial god of love. Eros reshaped Aetheria, but Aphrodite didn’t leave him to run things alone. She established the Erotes, a group of gods and goddesses to assist him. These include Anteros, the God of Requited Love, Hedylogos, the God of Sweet-Talk and Flattery, Himeros, the God of Desire, Hymenaeus, the God of Weddings, Hermaphroditos, the God of Effeminate Men and Androgyny, Pothos, the God of Yearning and Longing, and Phthonus, the God of Jealousy. Finally, Psyche, once a mortal, became the Goddess of the Soul after marrying Eros and joining the ranks of the Erotes.

Together, the Cupids and the Erotes run the Embassy of Love, an organization that governs different branches responsible for various aspects of love and human emotion: Camaraderie, Desire, Heartbreak, and Love. In this realm, the Cupids are tasked with nurturing and guiding love, shaping the world’s emotional fabric in ways both subtle and profound.

(Eros, Art below is made by Discord: jijicomms)

I hoped you enjoyed my yapp session!!

[luminouslywriting]

Falling asleep on the Bob guys

Nonny, this is such a darling request! Sorry it's taken me so long to get to it :) I hope you really enjoy and are having a great day! Reminder that my requests are open and I love the spam!

Cut for length, paragraph format below:

Dick Winters:

Dick Winters is the type of man to be caught off guard in the softest of ways. He's not expecting you to fall asleep on him and he's still trying to talk over plans when he realizes that you're totally and completely out. It's at this point that he gets this really soft expression on his face and just decides to treasure the moment since you never know what will happen. He stays awake and keeps a wary eye out for any sort of danger that might befall the two of you. And he might murmur a few sweet nothings to you while you're asleep since there's no harm and foul for that.

Lewis Nixon:

Honestly, he's rambling and rambling and is waiting for you to reply to anything that he's said and mid-ramble, he looks down to find you asleep. Kinda makes this amused expression on his face and then presses a short and sweet kiss to your forehead. He's perfectly content as a kitten, curling up and falling asleep next to you. Especially if you're the one who fell asleep first—he's not about to move you or wake you up haha.

Ronald Speirs:

Realizes you're falling asleep very quickly and just goes kinda quiet. He doesn't have the heart to move you or wake you up so he can move, so he just sits there with your head on his shoulder and finally has a minute to just be calm and relax in peace. It's honestly a cathartic experience for him and he gets to reflect on your relationship, which endears the situation even more to him.

Buck Compton:

Gets this really goofy smile on his face at the fact that you're asleep on his shoulder. He absolutely adores seeing you this peaceful and will press a kiss to the crown of your head and snuggle in real close to you. He's the type to probably fall asleep with you, even more cuddled up and practically spooning at that point.

Carwood Lipton:

A softie who softly tells you a story until you are solidly asleep on his shoulder. And then he's slightly blushy and shy about the entire thing, but he's not about to move—he's no idiot. So he just wraps an arm around you and murmurs a soft goodnight. He'll treasure this memory for the rest of his life and wants to wake up next to you every single day henceforth.

Joe Liebgott:

Literally the sassiest mf—the minute that you fall asleep, he's out here glaring at anyone who walks by a little bit too loudly or is talking too much. He'll shush and tell someone to get the hell away from the situation bc no one is about to interrupt your beauty sleep. Not on his watch. He's also slightly smug and definitely thinking about sex in the future and how your married life would be.

Donald Malarkey:

10/10 a great person to fall asleep on. He's a solid choice, if only for the fact that he's ultra respectful and kind about things. He'll sit there patiently and untangle your hair while you're asleep and just relax. It's honestly just as calming getting to be around you while you're asleep and it becomes a tradition between the two of you.

Eugene Roe:

You cannot convince me that he isn't the best choice here. He gets super soft and almost emotional about the fact that you trust him enough to fall asleep near him and on him. He'll murmur lullabies in a half-whisper in French and stroke your hair and rub your back soothingly until you're totally asleep. He absolutely loves you and that'll be the last thing you hear before you're totally out for the count.

Bill Guarnere:

Doesn't realize you've fallen asleep until he turns to hear your reply or comments from a story he's been telling and then realizes that you're totally out. He gets this kinda goofy grin and just snuggles up real close to you. He's very honored that you feel safe enough to fall asleep in his presence—and he's not about to lose that trust for literally anything. You mean the world to him.

Joe Toye:

Slightly panicked?! Which doesn't really make sense, but you're literally asleep and he's just not about to let anyone interrupt that. He'll glare and make menacing motions to anyone who's too loud and he just wants to cuddle up next to you without anyone giving him shit. Not that anyone would—but you know, he's got some worries. Either way, he's real gentle about the entire thing.

George Luz:

Probably happens in a foxhole amidst some jokes and laughs to keep spirits up. And when you don't respond, he gets a little worried and then glances over to find out that you're just asleep on his shoulder. Gets this shit-eating grin on his face and he's definitely gonna tease you about it later (but not in front of anyone else). He's secretly very pleased that you fell asleep on him since he's got a big crush on you anyway haha.

[bangrychannie]

Stray Kids Fic Recs: College AU Part 2

Hello! It's been a while since I did my last rec list, so here's another one! College AU Part 2. Feel free to request a rec list in my ask box :)

My other fic rec lists

rule number one by evesmysoul (Minsung | 7/7 | 144200 | Explicit)

“If we’re doing this, we need written rules,” he said, spelling out “Rule Number One:” on the paper in front of him. “Rules?” Minho asked, sounding confused. “Yes, rules.” “What kind of rules?” Or Jisung’s broken heart leads him to make an arrangement with his mysterious classmate Minho. He believes everything will work out, as long as neither of them breaks the rules.

You're lucky that you get to read this all at once and don't have to wait for updates haha. One of my favs of all time, chapter 3 changed my brain chemistry and the smut and angst is life changing

You're starting to feel... very sleepy by megaversenumber1fan (Jilix | 1/1 | 7295 | Explicit)

“There’s no way it’ll work,” Seungmin said, removing himself from Jisung’s personal space and sitting back on his bed. He had a smirk on his face that Jisung had learned to be challenging him. “Wanna bet?” Jisung asked. He stood up, stalking over so he was towering over Seungmin. He looked up at Jisung with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of mirth. “I bet I can make you think you’re actually a dog.” “Yeah right,” Seungmin laughed, rolling his eyes. “You know what? Sure. Loser buys dinner for tonight.” — On a lazy summer day, Jisung tries his hand at hypnosis. There are unintended consequences.

Silly fic with great smut, what more could you ask for?

roundabouts and merry go rounds - sunshinedozing (Hyunsung | 1/1 | 14087 | Explicit)

“Why do you cover your tattoo?” Hyunjin asks quietly. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” “Ah, no it’s okay. I… met my soulmate. A long time ago.” Jisung swallows, looking anywhere but Hyunjin. “It didn’t work out.” “Oh. Was it because…” “I’m trans? Surprisingly, no. This was before that.” “I’m sorry.” There’s a long pause before Jisung replies, and when he does there’s something in his voice that Hyunjin can’t quite get a read on “It’s not like it’s your fault.”

Sometimes, second time's the charm.

Soulmate AU, trans representation, angst with a happy ending. Love this one!

thanks for calling by bangrychannie and megaversenumber1fan (Minsung | 2/2 | 13714 | Teen)

“H-hi, Is this the Soonie, Doongie, Dori show?” Jisung stuttered, immediately regretting it. He couldn’t even say hello like a normal person, for fuck’s sake. Obviously this was the Soonie, Doongie, Dori show! He went silent for a few seconds, before remembering that dead air is bad on the radio. “It sure is. I can’t believe I have any listeners other than them,” Lee Know’s voice cut in, saving Jisung from the awkward silence. “Yeah, I’ve been listening for a few weeks, actually. Your voice helps me sleep. I’m an insomniac, and nothing has really worked before I found your show.” Jisung rambled, his face flushing as he talked. “So you called me to tell me I’m boring?” Lee Know asked, tone neutral.

Or: Jisung is an insomniac who's tried everything he can to get a good night's sleep. Nothing worked until he stumbled upon the Soonie, Doongie, Dori show on his college's radio station.

My magnum opus

likey lighty by flying_dream (Seungjin | 1/1 | 8985 | Teen)

It starts when East Asian Soc decides to host an event to raise money for charity. Their event of choice? A mini Take Me Out night: university style! Buy a ticket and watch sixteen single students vie for a date with one of four single men! Seungmin doesn't think much of it - until he finds out that Hyunjin has volunteered as one of the single men up for grabs. As in, his best friend Hyunjin. As in, the guy Seungmin has been in love with for two years. So he signs up.

Short and sweet

Han Jisung Fucks: A National Geographic Special by Skzoodle (Minsung | 4/4 | 59785 | Explicit)

After flunking out of college due to a depressive episode and rampant untreated anxiety, Jisung transfers schools in his Sophomore year. With his confidence in shambles and no friends, Jisung feels like a wet noodle of a person—especially when he finds himself rooming with seven hot guys who have incredibly strong personalities. And he’s just… Jisung. Or, Jisung’s journey of self-discovery and gaining confidence as he figures out how to fit in with his new friends, overcomes imposter syndrome, (and loses his virginity along the way).

Quintessential college AU fanfic, with some virgin Jisung thrown in <3

a whole new world by cloudfall (Minsung | 1/1 | 12871 | explicit)

Han Jisung, well-known serial flirt, makes a big mistake when he tries to hit on the wrong people at Chan’s party. They flip his world view when they ask why he hasn’t tried dick yet, and suddenly Jisung is on the hunt to discover how to handle his way around dick. Enter Chan’s friend, Lee Minho, who will supposedly teach him anything and everything he needs to know about taking dick up the ass like a pro.

Love me a gay awakening fic

opposites attract by keros (Minchan | 4/4 | 63754 | Explicit)

"I bet he cries when he comes," Minho can't help but murmur, scowling across the room at the smiling boy everyone just seemed to be in love with. "No way," Hyunjin immediately protests with a scoff. "Where did you even get that idea?" "Minho's just moody 'cause he knows Chan wouldn't wanna fuck him," Seungmin states with way too much assuredness. "Oh great." Jisung has finally torn his reverent stare away from Chan to cast Minho some wary side-eye, watching how his best friend has gone dangerously quiet, eyes thinned into a suddenly competitive glare. "Now Minho is gonna have to get Chan to fuck him just to prove a point." "And I will make him cry," Minho promises. - Minho and Chan were total opposites in every way: sharp frowns versus wide smiles, chocolate hair versus beach blonde waves, unforgiving cold against total sunshine. Chan was popular and loved by all, and Minho really couldn't give a fuck. So why, why, why were they perfect for each other?

The smut in this is AMAZING

Hope you enjoy my recs! LMK what you want next!

[darin-nidk]

Bugambilia. | One-sided Eve!Reader x Lucifer.

Content: Hurt no comfort. Low self-steem Eve!Reader, mentions of Lilith and Adam, lingering feelings, longing Eve!Reader.

Eve!Reader and Lucifer reuniting in Hell after years of Eve!Reader hiding, generosity of the extermination that had forced them to come out from hiding.

But it's not a warm welcome or even a meeting that either of them was looking forward to — Eve!Reader who has hiding their face behind a mask, quite similar to that LED one that Adam wore. Their posture stiff, even defensive with wings expressing their discomfort.

Lucifer who awkwardly rubbed his arm at the sight of someone's spouse that he stole out of pettiness? To prove a point? He didn't love Eve as stealing her, erh, them away from Adam had been a power move to one up the first man, and... well, he wasn't sure they were Eve anymore. The consequences of his own actions that he hadn't thought throughly before acting on them.

"You uh, you look great, Eve!", the King of Hell itself was not one with social skills, it seemed. Partially amused, partially disgusted and beyond pissed off at his words, (Y/N)'s (e/c) eyes had shifted to red demonic ones the iris turning into a slit akin to a snake's reptile eyes.

"Don't call me that", a sharp glare at his direction, their voice having dropped a few notes lower as a clear signal of disgust at being referred with their deadname before shutting their eyes, taking a deep breathe and composing themselves. "And thanks, I guess. The trauma helped with the style", a low-blow to their own self-steem but it was worth it, at least for (Y/N) since they got to see Lucifer flinch at the memory, guilt crawling his skin and he was clearly uncomfortable — though their eyes stared up and down at the powerful figure before them.

A pained smile curved their lips as their previously venomous glare had softened into a recluctant loving one, approaching the same-height demon, though for (Y/N)... Lucifer was still quite a beautiful angel, even if he had fallen from grace — ever so mesmerizing, so awkward and adorable. So beautifully and undeniably human. "Now you... You look as beautiful as the last time I saw you back in Eden", Lucifer was visibly shaken at that, flustered at such unexpected compliment. It seemed like he didn't get those often, or perhaps, he was uneasy that it was them who complimented him.

It woudn't be weird, moreso because Lucifer had basically ghosted them after making Adam and Eve get kicked out of Eden. Lilith was and... still is, more important for him. For both Adam and Lucifer while (Y/N) was blending with the background.

Ah, God was cruel with them.

"I... thanks uh, so... Hell! What brings you to Hell? No actually, don't answer that— fuck, stupid...", he trailed off, hitting his forehead with his hand. Somehow, that awkwardness and lack of social awareness was adorable, making (Y/N) chuckle softly. In the past, it had been them the ones who'd be stuttering unable to come up with something witty to say while Lucifer waited with a patient smile curving his lips. Oh, how the roles had reversed.

"I have been here ever since I died, you know how He had never favoured me. It was only Adam this, Lucifer that... Lilith...", her name was enough to make Lucifer bit his lower lip and look away. Ah, so that was it... He still loved her.

You were never important, Eve.

"I had been wandering Hell with no place to call home", they bit their tongue to stop themselves from saying anything unnecessary, like deals they had made and souls they owned. A wanderer yet a powerful one. "I didn't think I'd cross paths with you". Not now, nor ever. "What about you..? I thought you became an hermit".

"Haha well ah, stuff happened and I have been helping my daughter rebuilt her hotel and — right, have you heard of my daughter? Surely, you must have! She has this idea and...", he rambled, his facade softening and his smile seemed genuine as he used some of his magic to make a projection, a drawing in the air of what Charlie had planned. He spoke, they listened in an absent manner as their gaze lingered elsewhere.

At the distance, (e/c) eyes widened slightly at the sight of the Princess of Hell. Not like Lucifer could have noticed due to the mask they wore. Charlie was just like her father, almost not a single trace of Lilith herself. The realization was a bit funny, truly, how their children seemingly took after themselves: Cain had looked like them but Abel was a mixture of Adam and themselves. Mostly Adam.

"She has your eyes, full of hopes and dreams", (Y/N) said in a soft spoken tone, making Lucifer cease his talk and look at them with shock. "I wonder how either of my boys are...", they trailed off, unable to finish that thought and Lucifer didn't ask or press for more.

Clearing his throat to break that heavy silence and awkward atmosphere, Lucifer looked at them with a certain understanding feeling. "If you have nowhere to go, ah...".

"(Y/N)".

"Lovely name. As I was saying, (Y/N), if you have nowhere to go then... My daughter's hotel will welcome you".

"Mm, that's assuming she'll let me in. And... I appreciate the offer, I'll consider it".

"Yeah so uh, I'll...", pointing behind himself at the hotel, Lucifer averted his gaze as he tried to come up with something to say, to bid his farewell.

(E/c) eyes observed the fallen angel standing before them, shifting his weight from foot to foot, clearly wanting to escape this situation as gentlemanly as possible. "You were never good with goodbyes, go now, I'm sure your daughter does miss you".

Without any more to say, or any delay. He left and (Y/N) stood there, watching Lucifer leave them once again without even bothering to look back.

Though their sadness was shortlived, a static noise in the background being an annoyance, causing (Y/N) to frown and shut their eyes, right hand raising to rub their temple as they turned on their heels. "Yes, yes... I'll leave now".

If you like my stories, consider donating to my Ko-Fi! Even cents are plenty of help!

[mysteryanimator]

Since I'm more rambly/analysis-driven on Tumblr, I'll drop this here and extrapolate! I won't be too structured in this because this is just thoughts coming out of the brain haha

The top row I Want to Live Animatic / the bottom row Journey Out of Eden Animatic! Both fan-animatics I've made!

I'm being super genuine when I say I did not realize that the time of these releases was BOTH on the 20th. Honestly, it makes comparing and contrasting my improvements REALLY FUN.

While there are aspects of Journey Out of Eden that could be greatly improved (that last kiss section I know how to make better, I see the vision on how to rework it), my compositions are way less flat! Greatly helps with 3D backgrounds in all honesty. I still default to my comfort compositions HAHA however, I definitely utilize them more effectively than before! I have considered writing a breakdown on it since its wildly way more focused on the technical aspects of composition stuff, but I'm abstaining from it (watch me take that back because this mini breakdown was really fun and good to keep up mentally)

Also now I'm properly employing lighting as a more direct way to have additional storytelling which is really fun! I know lighting isn't mapped out this extensively in storyboards unless it's very important BUT I really really enjoy seeing how lighting can be used as an additional framing device in other media so I'm using it an absurd amount!

Finally started properly using the rule of thirds and that makes a world of a difference! It divides the screen into thirds horizontally and vertically and acts as a guideline of where to place things! I was told once it wasn't that important by a teacher much earlier in the years I was taking art more seriously. The biggest lie ever. I started incorporating it for God Help the Outcasts Animatic and I haven't looked back. While I do break it here and there, it's a very good baseline sculpting out the look of a shot!

Always room to get better but hey I've made some tremendous progress in this month alone which is very neat to see a timeline of it per week! Since my studio work was absolved last year I push to improve my stuff in my own time!

Side tangent, insane to think I did that DURING uni, funnily enough, I learned/improved more in the studio rather than in uni and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Since it's only just me disciplining my workflow, I struggle a lot with seeing improvement. Being able to compare and contrast something from then and now has been very helpful!

Again, will admit that I am embarrassed about sharing this stuff since it bares so much of me, though I can't help but admit it is very cool to see my progression in live time as if I'm a science experiment or something LOL

[enquire]

Kindle

Well here we have it. One last design to complete the class. Rounding things off with Kakeru.

Notes this time:

Kindle is a kirin and bull hybrid. He doesn't have a cutie mark because of this.

I originally was going to make him a bull, but I couldn't resist giving him some kirin traits-it fits his courtroom persona too well! So he does have the ability to produce flames, if only a little. It's localized mainly to his horns and eyes. His hooves probably get a bit hot as well, but not enough to set fires or cause damage.

He has a little bit of plating on his back in little bursts.

I tried to get as many flame motifs in here as I could haha

Ramblings below the cut

A Canterlot courtroom isn't exactly the place you'd expect to see somepony like Kindle. But despite the countless uppercrust unicorns he's surprised, he's still made a name for himself as a lawyer.

His spirit is matched by his fire, and he's made it his goal in life to defend those who need it most. Because of this, he's gained a lot of nicknames in legal circles. Such as the "Blazing Bull" (or "Raging Bull" by his less gracious opponents)

However, despite him having managed to make several connections while working in Canterlot, such as the stern Saber Frost, or the insightful Stardust siblings, it's not a place he'd call home.

For outside of the courtroom, Kindle struggles to keep and hold friendships and communicate with others. The fast pace of the city, and the often shallow or elitist nature of some of its residents, doesn't mesh well with Kindle's nature, or his being a fairly nervous country-pony whenever he's not practicing law.

After all, Kindle's heart lies in his hometown. The place he grew up, and where his family, including his younger sister, live. It's for them that he became a lawyer in the first place, even if it takes him far away more frequently than he'd like.

He's met many ponies in the course of his travels, but only two have ever really stayed by his side beyond the friends and family back home. Mourning Dove, and Mercy Suture. Both of whom had similar experiences, traveling all over Equestria for their talents while always keeping home in mind.

The quieter, calmer pace of their conversations made it simpler for Kindle to be himself without worry. And the three of them are regular penpals, who often meet up to see each other across their travels. Whenever Kindle finds himself in a new town, he always looks for local gems to grab a bite with his friends. Donut shops and diners are his favorites.

Whew. The set is finally complete... Somehow, Kakeru seems like a perfect final pony here. If you're curious, Midori would also be a cow-kirin hybrid.

I've made 18 of these designs so far. Though they're definitely imperfect, especially some of the earlier ones, I've had a great time working on this silly little project. It's been really good just making art for the fun, and getting better at not worrying about how good the pieces are or how niche it is haha.

I'm definitely not done with this AU of course! Now that I have names and designs down for everyone, there's definitely some more things I'd like to draw, and moments I'd like to visit for this. What can I say? I've liked ponies ever since I was little, and got drawn right back in this past year.

Maybe if I'm feeling really brave I'll share some written stuff? It's a bit intimidating going from what I usually post to something as silly and niche as an mlp crossover AU though I have to admit haha.

I think this is enough rambling for now, but I'll be back. If you're reading this, thanks for sticking around. Especially if you're one of the few whose been following me going through all these haha.

With that, I'm signing off!

[humming-fly]

Something I noticed is that when you see Ling shirtless for the first time he isn't very jacked despite his physical ability and looks like a twink. Then after the timeskip is when he gets absolutely ripped, and even Ed is jacked too. Headcanon: during the timeskip Ed and Greed do train a lot and spar with each other to get ready for the Promised Day. Logs make excellent weights. Greed also wanted his guns back.

pfdTT I mean given the crazy shit both ling and ed pull off I think they're about as jacked as they can be for their ages haha (the merch companies especially lean into that I don't think I've ever seen a shirtless ed fig that couldn't shred cheese like look at this shit what the hell)

so one of he biggest differences from that time skip is they both got a little older and ed in particular finally seemed to hit puberty so that helped him out a ton lol - that said I do imagine they sparred! ed's used to sparring with al and I bet ling had pretty regular bouts with his retainers to stay sharp too. the only one that probably Isn't used to sparring is greed but after getting his ass kicked by wrath he might've been easier to convince to at least try to synchronize with ling better, thus their much more merged fighting style on promised day~

and since you sent a few other hc's I'll go ahead and answer them here as well lol

yeah that sure matches the requirements for a sad headcanon! Personally I don't think you could willingly get greed in the general proximity of that bar with a 20ft pole after he had a meltdown that lasted a whole fuckin month, but maybe if he survived post-canon you could finagle something lol

oh this one isn't sad this one is Fun hahaha - we love a good problem-solving situation and also of anyone ling is the Best equipped to bullshit his way out of a problem in some way or another - @atomicpowered actually hit on this scenario a bit in their fic series over here, which I Highly recommend for some post-canon greedling fun :P

Cute! I bet that happened at least a few times, though harder to say how much grumbling was made on either party's side haha

Oh ling for sure was rambling at any and everything he could for a while while whittling greed down - even if the screaming ghosts aren't responding can still bother the evil possessing voice evesdropping on him! (or forced to evesdrop on him, I'd bet good money there were many times greed would have Loved to drown ling out)

[mintyeve322]

for anyone concerned by my writing style on my posts that my fic(s) might have no capital letters, random capital letters, or some other issue, i just wanted to clarify i type posts and messages very different from stories.

in stories I'll use proper punctuation, capitalization, spelling, and grammar. (at least to the best of my ability) i just couldn't give two shits about that stuff while I'm rambling here.

just a warning or heads up, haha.

anyway, so that we're on topic, fiddlestan time below the cut.

I think their relationship is pretty quick to take off but slow to be official. i feel like Stan is so starved for affection that she's scared to acknowledge her feelings, especially since affection is sometimes just "platonic girl stuff". don't worry stan, overly affectionate heterosexual female friends drive me insane too.

on Fidd's part, i think she is hesitant to make things official because at first she's not sure if her feelings are genuine or if she's accidentally using Stan, but once she realized thats not it, she's still hesitant to say anything because she doesn't wanna make Stan uncomfortable if she's not right about her feelings.

Fidds is a people pleaser and unhinged as hell before she uses the memory gun, let alone afterwards, so she for sure has made or aquired some crazy shit as gifts for Stan. She for sure has made her at least one robot that malfunctioned and had to be decommissioned, she bought Stan a fish, I'll do some fish research to figure out what kind later but it has some sort of significance, to occupy the empty tank in the shack since Frilliam is lost at sea. She's probably helped Stan make exhibits and made a cryptid up that reminds her of Stan. I feel like she'd get gifts for Stan constantly, and Stan wouldn't know how to act about it because her instinct is to be skeptical of kindness but Fidds was her sister's friend and she hasn't asked Stan for anything in return and she doesn't know why.

Related to Stan's belief that affection is transactional, if Fidds ever gets nervous about the portal or if Stan keeps something from her, like why she got arrested last night or where she found a part and Fidds says she owes Fidds an explanation, Stan will shut down and probably cry in her room for an hour.

Stan is VERY worried that Fidds is gonna reveal one day that she's only there for some sort of payment or gain on her end, and if she even implies that Stan owes her something, Stan will spiral until Fidds is able to figure out the problem and apologize, even if she agrees that she does owe Fiddleford something for all she's done.

Related to this, there's probably a period of time where Fidds is working really hard, to the bone, for Stan. She hates not feeling useful and may have hit a road block she's trying to push through or something, and when Stan tells her to take a break, she interprets it as a sarcastic "just let me do it, idiot" comment and not the "please take a break im worried about you" way stan intended it, due to the fact Ford, with her one track mind, has been harsh to her in that way before.

Fidds is apologetic and swears she's almost got it she just needs more time and please don't maker her leave she promises she can do it, and Stan has to basically grab her, look her in the eyes, and tell her she just needs to take a break and come back later. Fidds says she just wants to be useful for Stan, and Stan tells her she doesn't care if she's useful, she just needs her there and burning herself out working on the project is not worth it. they have a long conversation about how even if fidds never worked on the project again Stan would still want her around and its sad and fluffy.

also a thing where stan gets frustrated and implies Fidds isnt useful and has to comfort her and insist that isn't what she meant because it genuinely wasn't what she meant agh i love miscommunication hurt/comfort

idk im rambling and i feel like we're all so busy unpacking Stan's trauma we forget that Fidds has very real trauma from her work with Ford that has plenty of hurt/comfort potential as well.

[ask-postcrash-curly]

hey hey, cap. im sorry people keep trying to scare you☹️🫂 can i offer some more cat pictures as a distraction?

i also want to gush about him a lil bit if that's ok. he's my special boy. i told u before that his name is indy, but i mostly call him nicknames likee... little tiny, little lion, funny dog, little critter, buddy, homie, lil man... most of them start with little bc he is small. to me...

he's a very chatty boy. i like talking to him like he's just a guy. and he meows back like we're having a conversation. his little canines poke out when his mouth is closed and it's the cutest thing ever, u can probably see it in some of the pictures. he also makes biscuits in the air when he's rlly happy + relaxed, and he purrs a lot, but when he's really, really happy, he trills too. he loves being held and cuddling;_; sometimes i like to pick him up and show him around my room, let him look at the tops of my desk and my bookshelf, or the inside of my closet. he likes to look around^^ he's very very soft. sometimes i just put my face in his fur and sit there for a bit. it's calming. he loves that too, surprisingly. i wish u could do it too...

he's 3 or 4! not sure which, or when his birthday is. me and my roommate actually just got him back in..... november? december? so about 3 or 4 months ago. we got him from my cousin, who's moving into a new place with someone who's allergic to cats, so they couldn't take him with them. i actually wasn't sure if we would get along at first! i thought he would like my roommate more, since he already knew her before we got him. he's pretty skittish, but he's warmed up to me plenty by now. i just had to be patient^^

ive lived with and cared for cats in the past, but this is the first time ive ever had one of my own. ive been a little nervous about it, honestly. i really love him and i dont want to be a bad pet parent. my roommate takes care of him too, so im not on my own, but im still adjusting to the responsibility. i just worry sometimes that i might misinterpret his behaviors.. i think it's mostly irrational, haha. cats don't pretend to like people, yea? he wouldnt flop down in my lap and purr and stare at me and cling to me if he didnt like me, right? im pretty sure. i still worry a bit though since this is a bit new to me. im trying my best tho. and he seems happy and healthy, so we're probably doing something right. anyway^^

last picture^^ it's a bit blurry, haha, sorry. and some doodles i made while i was at work cuz i missed him. thank u for letting me ramble abt my little creature for a bit, i hope it helped in some way🫶 sending hugs your way my friend, and much love to u always. you'll hear from me again hopefully! ill try my best to keep reaching u. until next time, cheers! 🍻🤝����

oh and heres a short lil vid of some crows being in luv, in case anyone has sent something wack again https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFgX_H5zjK5/?igsh=a3V6YjFodmF6bzNh

Hey! It's okay. Got the rest of you to pick me up, yeah? But of course you can offer me more cat pictures. I gladly accept.

Fuck. That's unbelievably fucking adorable. Please do gush.

Don't have a lot to say right now. I'm more tired than normal, I think because of the stress. But believe me that I'm hanging onto every word about this absolutely magnificent cat. Every picture gets better, it's unbelievable. I'm sure your cat likes you! Liking the doodles too.

Of course. I liked hearing it. Does help, as always. Until next time. Cheers!

Good for them!!

(Psst. You doing okay? You sound quiet.)

[xxsycamore]

Fanfic Writer Wrapped - 2024 Version!

I saw @rjthirsty do this and figured it's a great excuse to ramble for a bit! The last days of the year were hectic for me and I couldn't say much outside of the statistics I put together for my Writing summary, so I'll do that now. Credit goes to @asirensrage !

What fic did you work on the most this year? Without a doubt, Monster Villains Night (NSFW). I totally underestimated what I was getting into, with it hitting 7,825 words overall. It was Halloween Eve when I came up with the idea for it, 12 different smut scenarios with 12 different monsters, thinking "what if... Nine Nights but without the plot and with shorter scenarios... I can get it done RIGHT NOW!" - I didn't. I remember I was drinking and when I returned to my laptop later that night, already sleepy and tired, the wip left at scenario #2, I was mad at the thought of missing the holiday's timeframe so I came up with the idea to divide it into 3 parts, four scenarios each. I willed myself to write the remaining two for part 1, a bit half-assedly, and posted it. Thinking that I'd get the two other parts done with in the next couple of days. Part 2 was posted a whole month later 😭 The reason? The nature of the fic itself. The focus is the monsterfucking, of course, and since I haven't written that before, I wanted to do it justice. But also this is anonymous sex, so another key feature is putting just the right amount of traits and mannerisms of the characters so the reader can have fun guessing who is who. But also we can't get straight into it because sexual tension is important. But also, it has to make sense where and how the deed is done with that fixed setting of a party in Crown castle. And returning to the first point, do you know how demanding Monsterfucking is? You have to know your monster, and you have to make use of their inhuman traits in ways you might not have considered if all you wrote so far is human sex. I mean, that's the exact mental gymnastics that make me love writing, the problem is that it's not happening as fast as I want it to happen. A large chunk of me working on this series was brainstorming and researching different monsters. Matching monsters with suitors. Coming up with the stupid adjectives for the titles, HAHA. It all kept me stimulated for a long time, and I admit it took me so long because somewhere along the way I started thinking "if I'm gonna write monsterfucking once, then might as well write it properly", going all in. Some scenarios reached 1k words because of that, and I'm not a fan of the inconsistency in both the length and the quality, but oh well! I got stuck on scenario #8 for a while, but as the year approached its end, I got motivated to finish at least this part - and the satisfaction of posting it somehow motivated me to write all the remaining scenarios the very next day, I don't know how did that happen. Now that it's all been done, I'm really proud of it! In the end, the idea has been executed. It was a small ark in my writing journey, another new thing I tried!

Did you have any fic writing goals? Did you meet them? Yes, I do actually set writing goals at the beginning of each year! I never know how busy or stressed I might be during the upcoming year, so I try to make the goals as realistic as possible - setting a total wordcount that is far below what I usually reach, for instance. Some of my goals are "write at least 1 of the special napo fics that I've been planning to write since 2020" (i failed to do this one, again) and "write the remaining requests" (I'll be frank here i don't even know what this is referring to but i nope i didn't do it, i have a fresh batch of requests however). But I don't put a big importance on those goals, so it's all fine!

How many fics did you work on this year? 111, ficlets and headcanons included.

How many new fics did you post this year? Almost all of them.

Did you update any old/previously posted fics this year? What were they? Oh, the Napoleon kink headcanons! I'll be updating this series from time to time, and requests for them are always open. Other than that, I finished Paradiso Terrestre (NSFW), the birthday mini-series for Napoleon that I started last year.

Do you have a favourite fic you wrote? Nine Nights (NSFW), but King's Game (NSFW) is a close second.

What’s your favourite passage that you wrote this year? Good thing I've made a handy compilation of passages from all my works this year! (under the cut of this post) I'd pick this one, from Nine Nights (NSFW) - Your gaze moves from Liam’s pretty lips curling in a small laughter as he conversates with Harrison, to Harrison stretching out while he listens; to Elbert’s tall frame as he looks out the window next to them, to Alfons staring at him, putting one leg over the other as he stirs the steamy liquid in his cup. - Nothing special about it at first glance, but this is the turning point in the fic - this thorough observation shows that the reader's principles have already snapped, she can't help but fill her head with impure thoughts.

Favourite line of dialogue this year? “…What’s a Nissan Pulsar?”

Favourite POV? (or rather what POV did you use the most this year?) Reader's POV, of course! I love using it and directing the attention towards what I assume would be most interesting about the situation for the person who's reading the fic. Also, reader's POV in Napoleon fics feels so natural because I'm practically writing my own POV, hehe! I tend to be a bit more self-indulgent in those, but I still keep a general Reader's POV in mind.

Did you find yourself repeating a word or phrase in your writing this year? If so, what was it? I'm sure there's at least one I'm not aware of HAHA... It's definitely something in the smut fics, a specific description of an action...? Maybe the way I describe the climax. Also, while I try to avoid eponymous adjectives (I just don't like those! the blonde, the French, the taller man, etc...) but for some reason I've replaced Alfons' name with "the hedonist" at least a couple of times. I just like it, I don't know why.

How did you help other writers this year? (i.e. leaving comments, reviews, beta reading, offering advice, etc) Similar to what happened to my writing in 2024 compared to the previous year, I've also left fewer but longer comments. I can't help myself when I think "this small detail here, the writer would be so happy to know I noticed and appreciated it, so I have to make sure I point it out!" and suddenly I've written a lengthy comment once again... I want to find the balance about this too, just like with my own writing, so that I can have the energy for a larger quantity. Because there are so many fics I like but sometimes I stupidly leave without saying anything because "I can't find the words to say anything worthy for the quality of this fic" - while at the same time knowing full well as a fellow writer that a mere keysmash is more than enough........ It's hard! Other than that, I wrote a post with Tips about writing Napoleon! The challenges I hosted might count towards helping writers, I hope? Especially the masterlists, I sincerely hope I'm giving the writers at least some reach that way. Beta reading is not my forte :D Please don't ask me to do that for you, I'm gonna leave the worst typos untouched without realizing it. But giving advice, I'm always open to that, so please don't hesitate if you have a question, I'll do my best to help.

Did you receive any advice that resonated to you this year? I've seen so many posts through the years nudging writers to be more self-indulgent but I think in 2024 I listened to them the most. While looking back at my stuff for the Writing summary, I just had to stop to fully read fics like Overheat (NSFW) and Crybaby (NSFW) because, well, it's something I'd stop to read. I could have written it differently in some parts to appeal to what I THINK might be more widely considered sexy, but instead, I wrote it the way I felt like in the moment, to my own liking.

What did you enjoy most about writing fic this year? As usual, sealing the moment, capturing the mood I was at the moment of writing those fics. Being able to look at a fic title and instantly go back and remember where I was sitting while I wrote it, what was the weather like, what part of the day it was, what song I listened to on repeat.

What did you enjoy the least? My perfectionism getting in the way, more than usual too. I can't seal the moment if I'm stuck on trying to reword something, I have a limited time before the mood changes and I don't have inspiration anymore.

Who was your favourite character to write for? Napoleon is a given but other than him I want to say Clavis and Alfons.

Did you have a song on repeat while writing this year? THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION. The notable ones are Four out of Five by Arctic Monkeys for King's Game (NSFW) (since the atmosphere was so similar to Late August Night Tryst (NSFW) where I directly reference the song); Salvatore By Lana Del Rey for Overheat (NSFW); Driving My Love by Anri for Joyride (NSFW); Put Me In A Movie (No Kung Fu version) by Lana Del Rey for Lights, Camera, Action (NSFW); The Wretched by Nine Inch Nails for Nine Nights (NSFW); Prom Song Gone Wrong by Lana Del Rey for Ludus (NSFW).

Did you make any playlists for your fics this year? What are they? The playlist I made especially for Monster Villains Night (NSFW) which you can find linked somewhere under the title. It was really fun to think of a song to fit each of the 12 monsters.

What’s your favourite thing you made for your fic or character this year? (such as pinterest, moodboards, gifs, etc) The layouts I make for each fic should count since I do get out of my way to make some of the banners into gifs ontop of editing them... I did a mini moldboard for the final part of Paradiso Terreste! (NSFW) The playlist from the previous question too, of course.

What was your most commonly used tag for your fics (on ao3, tumblr, etc)? Oh that's fun, let's find out (god bless ao3's filtering system)... Vaginal Sex (12) .... okay, fair.

Did you participate in any fic writing challenges this year? Not as much as I wanted to, definitely less than in previous years. I wanted to participate in my friends' challenges but in the end I only participated barely in my own challenges. However, I hosted what I think was my best challenge so far, the Sexy Ikemen Summer! I've made a whole post rambling about it on my main blog, so I'm not gonna talk about it here but it was a great project to work on. Visions of Temptation 2024 too, my 5th kinktober challenge. I also joined an Ikevil Gift Exchange which was really fun!

What was your favourite comment/review you received this year? Oh, this is really hard! I have to say that I appreciate them all, I really do remember many of the comments I've received through the years. If I have to pick one, I'll go with this one (if the person is reading this hi hello I hope you're having a great day thank you once again ❤ ). But the comments under Nine Nighs as a whole are very special to me because many of the readers confessed that they're not into that kink but ended up enjoying it, so I'm extra thankful that they decided to give it a try!

What was your top-rated/commented fic this year? ...I'm NOT gonna link it again, but Nine Nighs. I often have this feeling that I'm writing my Magnum Opus (and often say so on my main) but this time I really felt it. I still can't believe I was able to put my brain to work for long enough to write it the way it is, all things considered - it was a pretty rough time of the year for me. My most popular fic overall remains Office Activities (w Roy Mustang) but I'm absolutely bewildered that an ikemen series fic reached up to just 100 notes short of it.

Were there any ideas you wanted to work on this year but you didn’t? ...too many to my own liking. I know it's normal to have wips you eventually abandon, but I'm usually the type to work on one idea at a time and rarely leave unfinished works. This year I've abandoned a Raul Aconite (Cupid Parasite) smut, a Tendo Amahiko (Charisma House) smut, a fic about Leonardo and Napoleon having a bromance moment and bonding over Italian, a Sakaguchi Ango (Bungou to Alchemist) smut, an ikevamp crackfic, one NSFW Napoleon headcanon, two or three Napoleon smuts, and a Tomoegata Naginata (Touken Ranbu) smut... I hope to pick up and finish at least one of them, but I find it very hard to work on something once I lose the time window of my inspiration for it.

Were there any new fandoms or genres you explored this year? In 2023 I wrote for 8 new fandoms, whereas in 2024 I wrote for 0 new fandoms. That's it if we don't count the wips, of course, but I'm still unfulfilled with this... I hope this changes in 2025! As for genres, I don't think I've written anything new, but I did explore more tropes this year, especially nsfw ones.

Is there anything you want to write or try to explore in your writing next year? I want to write more headcanon-type works (something like Our Little Family), I want to try different styles of writing, I want to write shorter works that I feel satisfied with, but most of all I just want to have fun and capture more moments from my daydreams.

Do you have a goal for next year? If so, what is it? To write at least 2 of the Napoleon fics I've had in my head for years. To finish both my 1,5k and 2k followers celebration event requests. To finish at least 1 of last year's wips. To write for at least 3 new characters.

What are your hopes and/or desires for yourself and for other fic writers in the next year? To become even more self-indulgent! I want to write and read fics that feature those specific little details that you just know the author put there because it's something they personally felt/saw/experienced. To leave perfectionism behind and post unpolished works. To be more generous with commenting and giving support to each other.

Ao3 Specific Stats - How many people subscribed to you this year? (User subscriptions) 124 people have me in their email... Why can't I deliberately send them stuff? I want to wish them a good day or something...

What were your total kudos this year? 785!

How many comment threads were created on your fics? 38, many of which I haven't replied to yet and I feel terribly guilty about that.

How many people subscribed to your fics? 14

What was your word count posted on Ao3 this year? 106,847, for a second I thought I wouldn't reach the 100k mark but I did! And this marks 2024 as my 3rd most active year!

How many hits overall on your fics this year? 18,344

What are your top 5 fics (in terms of hits) this year? (links open here and not on ao3) 1. Napoleon Kink Headcanons (NSFW) (2327 hits) 2. Steal My Heart!! 1500 followers special ficlets (2179 hits) 3. Monster Villains' Night (NSFW) (1642 hits) 4. Nine Nights (NSFW) (1171 hits) 5. Off With Your head! (NSFW) (1165 hits)

If you post fics on tumblr, using Tumblr Top! what fic has the most notes? (in total and that you posted this year) In total: Office Activities (NSFW) (513 nots), and for the year: Nine Nights (405 notes)

Did you discover any new fics or fic authors this year? I did! All the mutuals I met this year who are fellow writers - @valkyyriia is the first one that pops up, I instantly went back to where I was sitting reading her Arthur and Comte fics, on my holiday, it's such a nice memory for me. @missaengg too, and all new mutuals from the letters blog... meromerodie on ao3 (Shuuen no Virche)

What was your favourite fic to read this year? Break Me by @nightghoul381 , I still live inside this fic I swear

Who was your favourite fic author this year? @nightghoul381 and @fang-and-feather , this is just exactly my brand of writing, all I could wish for as a reader. You two are so talented and put so much of your heart into your works, it's a pleasure to see it!!!

What fics or authors would you recommend for others to discover and read in the next year? You can just browse my tag for saving favorite fics of mine on my main, but be warned there's a lot of Napoleon there... We're a relatively small community so I'm guessing many of the people reading this already know some names around here - instead, if you want to discover someone new, I encourage you to browse the games' tags here on tumblr and to give a chance to new writers. If you're like me and would gladly devour ANYTHING featuring your fave, then by all means explore more and support small writers!!

What advice would you have for people who might want to try writing or sharing their writing next year? Do it, I know it's cliched by no one else can write this story the way YOU would write it. Even if your idea doesn't seem original to you, remember that the people who love this character would love to read yet another fic of them eating their favorite food or doing their hobby - that's part of why those people love the character, of course they would love to see more of it. Even if there are similar works existing already, you won't copy anyone, trust me. You have your own unique way of portraying things and someone will appreciate that.

Any regrets? None, because even though there are things left undone by the end of the year, I think of all the hardships I had irl and it's enough to make me go, "hey, all of that and I still wrote 100k words? that's awesome". There will always be more that I want to write, I let that motivate me, if anything.

If you reached the end, thank you for listening to me ramble. I'm not rereading all that, so I'm sorry if there are typos or if I don't make sense at times. I don't know when I would post my first fic of the year, I'm trying to take it easy. It seems like it would be a busy year for me irl, but at the same time, I feel like I'm in a better place mentally, and I'm hoping this would show in my hobbies as well. Wishing you all a great 2025 and thank you for sticking around. ❤

[thelikesoffinn]

Hi!! ❤️

I would love to read your analysis of how your thoughts may have changed regarding Astarion and poly relationships, now that his post-Mizora dialogue has been revamped and he reacts badly to the affair. It's such a big change, I'm so intrigued by Larians decision to do it.

(dialogue here, just in case: https://www.reddit.com/r/BaldursGate3/s/pEMgC6nQr4)

Thank you! Your opinions are so great, and I'm sorry if you've already talked about this and I missed it!

Hiya there, babes!

Thank you, I'm flattered you like my rambling ♥️

I'll gladly check that one out - I haven't yet seen the new reaction because it's been a hot minute since I played act 3 and I've been avoiding spoilers ever since patch seven, so we're all getting fresh eyes this time, haha. But first, since a couple of people asked about it these past few days, I'd like to go over why I hated the old reaction as much as I did.

I'm sorry for using your ask to make this sort of bastardised hybrid of your question, but I figured it goes hand in hand with your ask!

Let's get to it!

Why is Astarion's old reaction to Tav/Durge sleeping with Mizora so. fucking. shit?

Especially since he is generally okay with poly-relationships (see Halsin) and flings (see drow twins)? So Mizora shouldn't be a big deal either, right? It should be all the same.

Well - yes and no.

Yes, because essentially the bare bones are the same. It all just boils down to Tav/Durge having sex with a character that isn't Astarion and we've seen him be absolutely fine with Tav sleeping with both Halsin and the drow twins whenever Tav asked him about it.

Now, he wasn't exactly on board with Harleep but that was likely for an entirely different reason. You know, essentially selling your body to a strange incubus for eternity and all that may strike a chord with our fanged companion, since he himself already knows the weight of such deals and has first hand experience in how long a eternity is.

But the rest of them? Completely fine! Have at it, Tav, Astarion will not be standing in your way! He just needs a tiny bit of reassurance - hey, is this because I've not been putting out in a while? No? Fantastic, off you go - and then he's right as rain.

But, the thing is: That was an agreement. Astarion was involved in the decision and he was part of the conversation the entire time. So anything that did happen, happened entirely with his blessing and to his knowledge. That is how these agreements should work.

With Mizora, we aren't given that.

The cunt just whisks Tav away immediately to show them her nine hells and then she drops them off like nothing happened. There's no conversation about it, Astarion doesn't get to know until he sees Tav and Mizora or maybe until one of the other companions informs him of what just happened. (Probably Wyll, seeing as it's Mizora.)

I don't think it needs to be said, but that is cheating.

There's nothing we can do to justify this, especially not since it's rather obvious that Astarion isn't really against Tav getting frisky with other people. So there's no good reason for Tav going behind his back - not that there ever is - and it's just a plain dick move.

When I tell you, the first time I had this scene and noticed we didn't get to have a wee chat with him first? I was SWEATING so hard, because I thought 'hot damn, did I save before this!? When was the last time I fucking saved!? He's gonna leave me so hard and I fucking deserve it too!' and then he literally rocked up to us and was like: "Naw, you didn't ask me :( But it's okay, you're not just a snack. You're a whole damn meal babe, there's enough of you to go around."

Sweating was immediately over. It was not what I expected and I was really, really REALLY disappointed.

That was not how this is supposed to work. He wasn't supposed to be alright with this, because Tav treated him like shit. They didn't give a single shit about how he might feel and what his opinion may be, which is something he's already experienced for so many years. Tav disregarded him entirely for their own pleasure.

Anyone who's ever been in a working poly- or even just in a working open relationship will probably be able to tell you that communication is a huge part of what makes these relationships work. Openly talking BEFORE anything happens, coming to an agreement with all involved parties, regularly checking in with each other to see how things are progressing.

It also needs mutual respect.

Every party involved needs to respect their partners enough to NOT go against their agreements. Enough to listen to them and enough to be willing to compromise and respect the others boundaries.

And there needs to be SO MUCH trust.

It's not easy to be honest about wanting to share, wanting to be shared or even not wanting to share anymore. It's not always easy to believe your partner will respect your boundaries and will not do anything that you specifically asked them not to do. Voicing these things takes trust and confidence.

Tav literally shits on all three of these things. Respect is apparently a foreign concept, there is zero dialogue and they essentially break any trust there is for a single fuck in the hells.

By cheating with Mizora, Tav just shows Astarion that he isn't worthy of their consideration and that his opinions and feelings don't matter at all. And him accepting that with a smile is just him falling back into old habits.

He's back to taking shit he doesn't deserve just for the hell of it. It's the same thing he's done for years, the very same thing he's so desperate to escape.

The worst part is that he probably doesn't even notice it's the same thing, because, initially, it probably feels like it's just the same as all the other examples. He'll keep telling himself that Tav sleeping with Mizora is no different than Tav sleeping with the drow or Halsin. It's all the same.

But there'll likely always be that tiny voice in the back of his head going: "But is it really?"

Oh, and that voice? That voice breeds resentment. It's the only thing it's good at, the only thing it enjoys and it won't stop until he notices how fucked up this really is.

Astarion is no longer beneath anyone. He doesn't need to take shit anymore. He doesn't need to say yes and amen, he doesn't need to cower.

He's an equal in this relationship, but his reaction makes it abundantly clear that he himself has yet to realise it.

How have my thoughts changed now that his reaction has been adjusted?

Now, after reading through the dialogue you attached (thank you for that, btw! ♥️) and looking up a video...nice!

First: He voices his concearns and is honest with both himself and Tav about how this affected him. He admits that he may be disappointed, he admits he thought Tav was better than others and that he was very clearly wrong about it.

That takes guts, especially for people like Astarion who spent so long bowing their head to others whims and it's a huge sign of progress. Love it!

"As if you wouldn't have jumped at the chance. - Once, maybe, but things change - people change. Even if they never imagined they could."

Gold. Pure gold.

Self-reflection is lovely. He knows he's changed and maybe this situation just shows him how much.

"I thought I could trust you, which was no small thing. Now I'm not sure what to think."

This is SUCH a good line, because it's wonderfully ambiguous.

It shows both a healthy dose of self-reflection AND self-worth. On one hand, Astarion clearly knows that he's slow to trust people and that his trust has to be earned but, at the same time, it shows that, quite plainly, his trust is no small thing.

His trust is costly but it's a valuable thing, that Tav has now lost.

"And if anyone should believe in forgiving and forgetting, I should."

Haaa...I absolutely get what he means, but this is a dangerous line that I'm not sure I'd advise him to cross. It's something that does sometimes happen with certain clients and I don't think I've ever seen it yield good or pleasant results. This behaviour - the very lenient, very forgiving approach - is usually done to help manage guilt.

Clients who've done "bad things" can potentially become extremely lenient towards those they're close to because, in their mind, nothing can be as bad as what they've done and yet their loved ones forgave them. So they should forgive those little 'mistakes' just as readily, right?

No, obviously not, because receiving forgiveness doesn't relate to your acceptance of any future misdeeds. That is not what forgiveness means and anyone who tells you otherwise hasn't really forgiven you to begin with.

They just want something to excuse their own shitty behaviour.

His reaction doesn't necessarily have to mean he is going in this direction, of course. He may as well just realise that Tav is truly sorry...

"You can promise me the heavens, it doesn't change the choice you've already made. It was selfish. It was you not thinking about anyone but yourself and that's a feeling I know all too well."

The ABSOLUTE BLISS my inner social worker felt when she heard this line. The fucking catharsis.

Not only does he realise how shitty this choice was, no, he's also honest about it without giving two flying fucks about what happens.

That is not only brave, no, it shows that he knows he's in the right, which is a big thing for someone whose second name is 'Rationalisation'.

I think I mentioned it in another ask, but Astarion is someone who constantly feels the need to rationalise; to justify his own actions in basically any regard - the blood, the spawn, the ascension, cazador.

Every single time.

It's probably part of what kept him alive - keep quiet like a dead rat and if you can't, explain yourself so well and thoroughly that they won't hurt you. It works for misdeeds - which is mainly where we see him use it - but it works for emotions as well.

But this time, he doesn't. He doesn't justify his reaction, doesn't explain why he thinks the way he does. No, he hits Tav with the cold hard truth and nothing but that and it's so. good.

"I may not have the moral highground when it comes to betraying trust, but right now I see everything I've been trying to escape in you. Even I deserve better than this. We're done."

LOOK AT HIM FUCKING GOOOO! 🎉

First he realises and admits that yes, he's made mistakes and he's been a piece of shit too, which is great.

(I know I'm putting a lot of emphasis on self-reflection in this one, but he could do with a lot of that. Astarion is awfully unreflected in a lot of his behaviour at first and that is always detremental. We NEED to reflect on our own actions to see where we're wrong or maybe even where we're right.)

But, at the same time, he knows he doesn't have to take this. He doesn't have to take Tav's shit, because he's better than this. He deserves better and honestly? I've got nothing to add.

I love this, I wish this had been all he'd said and that is exactly the reaction he should've had.

To be entirely honest, I was a bit miffed that he still forgives Tav so easily - I get it, it's a game of choices, so obviously they'll give us an option to get Astarion to stay with us - but meh. Left a bad taste in my mouth.

But this last one? Perf. Absolutely fucking perfect and precisely the growth I like to see.

Puuh, that was a bit longer than I intented, I'm sorry! Let's just revise that, in the end, it's save to say that I do like the new reaction MUCH better.

Even the parts I personally don't agree with - namely any forgiveness for cheaters, because cheaters are loosers that don't deserve shit - I can respect, because he's still honest and reflected. He could probably reasonably explain the choice he made.

Not only can he explain it, no, it's a decision that very clearly costs him a little and he doesn't seem to make it all willy nilly.

That is enough. If it's a good choice or not doesn't matter that much, because mistakes and regret are a part of healing and growing. You can't avoid those.

Just being able to be honest about how he feels, how difficult this is and how Tav hurt him shows that he's starting to drop the habits that were tortured into him for so long and that is, in this part of the journey, absolutely enough.

Anyway, I hoped I answered your question and if not, feel free to let me know and I'll try again! Have a lovely day ♥️

Edit because I forgot to mention: My opinion regarding Astarion and poly-relationships as a whole remains unchanged, regardless of how he reacts to Mizora. Those two situations don't really sit on the same bracket, because one is an agreement and the other is a breach of trust.

So I still really do believe he's alright with them, as long as they're discussed!