#who thinks objects have positive or negative energy

[skymagpie]

I need to fuck the old man from Dragon Age but he looks too much like Jindosh so I will have some post fucking regret every time, this is some form of self harm

[cultkinkcoven]

Things for beginners to know before starting demonolatry or demonology practices

1. The classifications of demons were written by humans, not demons.

Different occult schools of thought will have different understandings of the Hierarchies of Hell, whether Hell even exists, and what attributes are associated with each demon. In some sects Lucifer reigns supreme Emperor of Hell, in others it is Sammael, Moloch, or Baal. It all depends on the perspective of the practitioner. All of these models are equally correct and incorrect. Documentation of de(a)mons were often written by right hand practitioners who saw them as evil, therefore their negative attitudes are emphasized. Other times devotees have documented the same entity as being very kind and affectionate. It is incredibly important to take into account who is speaking whenever you read about demons. No single book or author can deliver to you the most **objective** facts about these demons or the model of reality, if they claim to, they’re lying to you. You as the practitioner must discover and decide what reins true in your reality. Teachers and gurus may influence you but ultimately you must make the decision for yourself.

2. Assume all spirits are multi dimensional

Lucifer, the light bringer, is also the spirit of darkness. He is the sweet prince and the adversary, he is a devil and an angel. It is extremely rare that you will encounter a spirit that is only one thing. There is a little bit of truth to everyone’s interactions. To a Luciferian, Lucifer is a guide, a companion, and a positive presence. To a Christian he is an adversary, a tempter, liar and bringer of evil ; and there is an entire rainbow of other experiences that contribute to the understanding of “Lucifer”. Demons are not all good nor are they all bad, trying to paint them in only one light will only lead to disappointment and confusion. It is just as foolish to assume that a so called angel will always be pleasant and nice, as it is to assume a so called demon will be terrible and mean. Every energy interacts with every person uniquely.

3. Scary and intimidating doesn’t automatically mean “evil”

Nice and pleasing doesn’t automatically mean “good”

If you’re interacting with demons or spirits associated with death, it shouldn’t be very surprising that they’re dark, mysterious, or have a frightening appearance. If you’re dealing with demons or spirits of sex and lust, it shouldn’t be very surprising that they’re alluring, attractive, or beautiful. This doesn’t mean that the scary demon is going to kill you, and this doesn’t mean that the sexy demon is going to fuck you. There are very likely going to be times when your demons will scare you. This doesn’t mean that they’re going to hurt you or possess you (they shouldn’t be frightening you to the point of constant paranoia, but seeing some “disturbing” or strange imagery isn’t out of the norm when you’re contacting a de(a)mon).

If you enter a deep dark cave looking for a bear, don’t be surprised when you see sharp teeth. Demons of violence may summon gory imagery. Demons of death my feel cold and distant. A large part of demonolatry is understanding your fear and overcoming it.

4. Yeah, it’s intense.

Okay. This is hard for me to explain. Infernal spirits and angels alike are entities that force you to confront your innermost self and change. It’s not always spooky and scary and whimsical. Sometimes it’s losing your dead end job, having a serious breakup, losing toxic friends, or having a personal epiphany. When I say it’s intense, I don’t mean that I’m levitating and seeing gnarly gory shit and summoning demons while covered in blood all the time. I have dreams and experiences of course, but seeing a demon work is not about the theatrics. Are you ready to confront the things you rrrrreeaaaaalllly don’t want to think about? Your trauma, the lies you tell yourself to get through the day, and the toxic cycles you comfort yourself with?

Lord Lucifer has made me cry many MANY times. But it was never because he hurt or scared me. I’ve seen many demonolaters refer to Lucifer as a therapist and I couldn’t agree more. He not only changes your understanding of yourself, but others and the world. Through this understanding you can change yourself, and others, and the world.

5. You as the practitioner need to be able to withstand the symptoms of your demonic relationships

Being in a relationship with Lilith or Asmoday is not an excuse to develop a porn addiction. Being in a relationship with Lucifer does not give you the right to psychoanalyze all of your friends, being in a relationship with Eligos is not an excuse to destroy all of your relationships or be cruel towards others. Demons represent energies and concepts that are unfavourable to the masses. When working with Astaroth I will feel more lustful, just by being in her proximity. That is not justification to cheat on my partner or force myself onto him. As much as demons like Lucifer for example can inspire us to be wise and sharp, he can also influence us to be vein and narcissistic. We must always be aware of these effects and resist them, working with demons and shadows does not mean becoming the worst version of ourselves, quite the contrary. Interacting with these negative aspects is meant to show you how to overcome them.

6. Demons cannot and will not replace your relationships with humans

I am very pro godspousing and having friendly and affectionate relationships with demons and spirits. Having said that, as much as our spirits may love us and care for us, they will not be the ones to text you good morning. They will not make you soup when you’re sick, or buy you flowers after a hard day. Demons are guides and companions, but they are not people. Trying to use demons to solve your loneliness will only lead to heart ache. You very much can have a sincere relationship with a demon or other spirit, but be aware that that relationship will not mimic your relationships with humans, and it shouldn’t. Gods and demons are not humans, therefore your relationships with them will not feel human.

7. There’s always more to learn

Devotion to any spirit is an endeavour that can take years or even a lifetime. Your work is not done because you read 3 books and browsed the Occult Wiki for an hour and a half. Become very dedicated to learning about your demons of interest and the culture that surrounds them. Yes, this means boring, tedious research.

8. No, ______ is not mad at you. Please talk to them

You will at some point inevitably do something wrong, especially if you are freshly initiated. Demons understand that we are human, we make mistakes. Instead of becoming paranoid and avoiding your demon out of fear of consequences, put on your big boy pants and confront them directly. Understand what you did wrong and learn from your mistake. There may or may not be consequences, every demon is different. But making yourself sick thinking they’re going to smite you down doesn’t make anything better. I guarantee you that talking to them about it will serve you a million times better than running away.

9. You need to know your boundaries BEFORE you reach out

As important as it is to research your demons, it is equally important to research yourself. You need to have strict boundaries that you will not negotiate. These boundaries should be outlined in your contract if you have one. If blood magic is uncomfortable for you, don’t allow any demon or spirit to coerce you into giving it until you are ready. If you’re a minor you’re more than allowed to not do sex magic. This relationship belongs to you as much as it does your demon(s). If it doesn’t serve you, simply refuse it.

10. On that note, demons can and will reject you. You can and will reject them as well.

On many occasions I have approached spirits who did not want to work with me at the moment. Sometimes they end up showing up later in my life, other times they never do. Oftentimes this is because of an incongruency on an alchemical level, we just aren’t meant for each other. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing anything wrong. Sometimes you are, but your demon or deity will usually make that clear to you in some way. Don’t force it. If I’m already terribly preoccupied with life or other spiritual relationships, I’m within my right to reject another demon trying to enter my circle. That isn’t a rude thing to do. I’m within my right to deny a ritual I don’t have the energy or resources for. We can put it on the back burner for now.

Likewise, if a demon or spirit is repeatedly overstepping my boundaries or harming me in any way, I can (and should) leave that demon. If I’m not doing enough or causing insult, that demon can leave me. As binding as devotional contracts can be, we are not trapped with each other if we choose not to be.

11. Protection shouldn’t only be against spirits. Be very aware of your surroundings and the people around you

Learn the power of secrecy. As a Luciferian living in an extremely conservative area, I have to be extremely careful about when my pendants are visible. I have to be careful when entering certain places because I don’t want to be hate crimed or harassed. Yes, being out and proud of my demonic relationships is very important to me, but it is not worth risking real danger from bigots, or risking my employment. When I go to work, I have to leave my Lucifer ring at home, not because my work is discriminatory, but because I don’t know when I’m speaking to a christofascist grandma who would make a complaint to my boss because she saw my devotional ring. I don’t know which of my coworkers would make my life more difficult if they knew about my practice. If you are visible, people will approach you and make comments. Now, there are those of us who don’t give a fuck, and on most days I don’t. But for those of us who are vulnerable to that kind of discrimination, please be aware.

12. Self mutilation is not demonolatry

If you choose to offer blood it should be no more than a few drops. You should be using safe tools like a lancet, and disinfecting the area you extract from. This should be done in the least harmful manner possible. Devotional markings or tattoos should be done by a professional.

13. This stuff takes time. Relax

These relationships don’t develop in 24 hours. It takes a tremendous amount of repeated effort to gain the favour of a demon or spirit. If you’re not getting the results you want, take a break, reevaluate your methods, and try again later.

[leoascendente]

PAC/ Intuitive messages IV 🔮

Hi my loves and welcome to this new PAC! This time we have the fourth edition of intuitive messages. As always, take a moment to check what pile calls you the most, you could have messages in more than one too. Take only what resonates and leave the rest 🩷

* Don't make life decitions based on a general reading online, use your discernment. Minors dni 🔞

For private readings click here

My blog in spanish here

All pics are from pinterest, credits to their owners

Pile 1/pile 2/pile 3

Pile 1:

🫧 You need to focus on your career and long term goals, things are changing and you need to be ready

🫧 There's a blonde woman around your age you must be careful of, she could be in your same work enviroment or friend group

🫧 An unexpected amount of money is going to land in your lap as a work of magic, buy yourself something you enjoy as a sing of gratitude

🫧 You have a lot of sexual energy, keep it healthy and for singles, use it wisely to manifest your true love

🫧 There's a secret admirer that is planning to approach you with a nice surprise, be open to receive

🫧 Don't worry about those who don't wish you well, you are protected and they are being watched by karma

🫧 A commitment is about to happen, it could be in love or in career, so take it as resonates but I feel it's more related to love and romance

🫧 You'll be more in tune with your spiritual nature, you'll understand better the signs from your guides in your daily life

🫧 Some complications could appear, keep grounded and trust that you are being guided, you'll overcome every obstacle with grace and divine protection

🫧 Your guides will communicate through numbers 1222 or 1212 to tell you that everything is going in your favor, foxes and the scent of flowers will be signs too. Angelic beings are very present in your life, you'll see references to them very often, especially cherubims

Pile 2

🎀 Mercury retrograde will be an amazing time for you, it will bring you unexpected good luck. Check your Mercury's natal placement to know what areas will be impacted positively

🎀 I see a trip or vacations of some kind, maybe it's just having more free time to relax and invest in yourself. It could also mean that something special will happen during the holidays

🎀 Money will be entering your life, if you were scared of not being able to pay debts just know that you'll receive the money you need

🎀 You'll get invited to a night out with friends or a celebration, accept that offer because you'll have an amazing time

🎀 A massive change is about to happen in your life, I think you can sense it too. Rest as much as you can and do things that keep you grounded

🎀 Good things will be happening as a Dharma for something good you did in the past, it's a reward from Universe

🎀 You could loose an important object but it will be a sign that you have overcome a major challenge and the worst is left behind

🎀 You'll receive a major piece of advice from an older woman, for some I see a passed loved one communicating through dreams

🎀 Change your daily routines, there's something about it that no longer works for you and needs to be reorganized. Also, rest more often, your health needs it

🎀 Your guides are showing me grapes, it could be a sign to eat them more often or a sign of material abundance. Dolphins will be signs of upcoming luck and sharks a sign of divine protection. For some I'm hearing to develop your connection with the sea or the water element

Pile 3:

💖 Love is in the air for you my dear! Get ready because you are about to enter into the relationship of your dreams

💖 All your problems are going to get solved, don't stress that much. Your guides announce a triumph over troubles so there's no need to worry

💖 You are on the right path, stop doubting yourself honey, you really need to work on self sabotage or negative thinking

💖 You are about to get invited to a very romantic date, someone is really in love with you and wants to show it 🤭

💖 You'll be getting extra money, your guides are telling you to don't hold too tight to it and simply use it with gratitude. You could have some messages in pile 1 too

💖 There's an spiritual lesson you'll be learning that will feel like a hug to your soul, something you've experienced is going to make sense after receiving this info

💖 Someone with prominent Sagittarius placement will be a benevolent force in your life. I'm also hearing something about the house sagitarius is in your natal chart too, it could be an area of luck

💖 Don't resist change, simply embrace it and remember that it is happening for you to achieve your greatest outcome

💖 Do things your own way, don't force yourself to fit into a label you don't resonate with. Also, doing things different doesnt mean being making them wrong, you are on your own path

💖 Your guides really want you to focus on your confidence and inner power because you have more than you what to acknowledge. Lions and elephants are your animals, 777 your sign that your manifestations are becoming real and you'll see rainbows as a sign of joy and love

[ghostlyferrettarot]

◆Pick a Picture:📀🌌🧊Current gossip about you🧊🌌📀

•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3

❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️

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🌌Masterlist🌌

📀Pile 1: 8 of Swords, King of Swords and Temperance.

Hi pile 1! People are probably commenting on your accomplishments. I feel like you've recently achieved something significant that you've been chasing for a while now. Many underestimated you, thinking you were just playing around, but you've done it. Now they wonder how you manage to make it all seem so easy and how relaxed you look while working on your goals. Some may even be a little envious of your ability to move forward with clarity and determination, which can intimidate those around you.

The way you attract success seems almost magical to others, but the truth is that they don't see the effort and dedication you put in every day. I feel that many may even be envious of you in these aspects, you are an abundant person with clear objectives, this makes others feel intimidated. The obsidian stone can be a valuable tool to protect you from those negative energies.

Continue to pursue your goals with the same passion and determination you have so far. You are on the right path; don't let other people's opinions take you away from your path; what matters is your own journey and the effort you put into it. Success will come to you soon ;).

📀Song:

📀Pile 2: The Star, Queen of Wands and 6 of Wands.

Hi pile 2! People are talking about your great change in general. It's like you're in a stage of personal radiance, where everything you've experienced has taken you to a new level. Even though you've faced difficult times recently, you've managed to get up and start shining with your own light. People around you can notice that positive energy you emanate now, and many have noticed how good you look. It's natural that some are curious about your drastic change. They wonder what you've done to achieve this transformation, they wonder How have you managed to change your style, your way of being and your attitude towards life? The truth is that you have worked hard to get here, and that dedication has not gone unnoticed! People are intrigued by the decisions you have made to improve your life.

Don't forget that your strength is what has allowed you to overcome obstacles and move forward. If you have managed to get ahead, it is thanks to your effort and the courage you have shown every step of the way. Be proud of what you have achieved and the good things that are yet to come. You deserve it, and this is just the beginning of a journey full of opportunities and achievements! Lucky you pile 2!

📀Song:

📀Pile 3: Queen of Wands, Ace of Swords and 5 of Wands.

Hi pile 3! People are talking a lot about your talents lately. I think you are an extremely creative person, who knows how to express their ideas in a unique and special way. It is evident that others notice it too.

I feel that the gossip about you comes mainly from your work or school environment; Many may admire the way you carry yourself, your confidence and how naturally talented you are at what you do. Many may be envious of your work, I feel that someone may be spreading false gossip about you; but do not worry, I feel that you are very protected by your guides and that your environment knows that you are someone very genuine.

Keep showing the world your art and your talents, as you are destined to go far and inspire others with your knowledge. Trust in yourself and your potential! You can go very high if you continue to focus on your goals!

📀Song:

📀🧊Thanks for reading and tell me if it resonated🧊📀

[sheeezu]

⋆ Shift - Energy conversion method ⋆

This method basically materialises your DR when you divert your precious mental and spiritual energy towards it.

It's a pretty easy method and the time period might vary for different people, I don't think it should go over an hour.

First, what is energy and how can you start consciously feeling the direction of your energy.

Energy and vibrations are practically the same thing. You must have heard about it if you've dwelled into astral projection or the gateways tape, where one of it involves imagining putting away your negative emotions/energy in an energy convertor box.

Although this method doesn't rely on visualising, what we're going to achieve is to take our energy, which is characterised by strong emotions, and put it towards our DR, WRs, kind of like a vending machine, you put a coin in to get your desired product.

Think of it, at all times we are putting emotional efforts into something, e.g your CR while going through your day, you feel at all times. If we talk about shifting, we have an attachment to the practice of shifting to our affirmations, towards hope of being in your DR, one day, tonight, etc. We all do this, but to shift, we need to throw this away. By following this principle of emotional involvement, and instead directing it directly towards your Dr, reality will shift for you.

Anyways, enough rambling, let me explain the method.

Basic concept of the method- in theory.

Energy, it exists in many other forms in us. But for this method we'll be taking our emotions, feelings. Feelings which are strongest in order of time, because the reality we're in and the ones we usually shift to involve the influence of time - past, present and future.

In order of the strongest feelings, we can form a direct connection to our Drs.

Past - Nostalgia.

There's nothing stronger than nostalgia, which leaves you feeling trapped in the nicest way possible, in the middle of your memories. I still remember it, my waiting room which i based off my grandparent's house, which always gives me a strange sense of comfort and nostalgia, the sharp subcontinental sunlight which fills me with warmth makes me feel familiarity which I can't describe.

In your DR and WR there must be something which causes you to be filled with nostalgia, it's perhap a memory from your childhood, or if you go into the specifics stuff like me, like how the light from the streetlights illuminate the fog on a winter day, or if you're shifting to your WR it's a special object, a place. Don't chicken out on this one, you're a living breathing person in your Dr, who has lived there their entire life.

Present - Desire, need, passion.

In the present, the strongest you could feel is having an impulse to act passionately, associating it with your DR. You're not a robot who's stuck up on affirming, you're someone who's already in your DR, so full of life.

Future - excitement.

Your plans in your Dr fuels you with excitement. Sure, you have already assumed you're already in your Dr, but that doesn't make it any less exciting to wake up and do what you love, to see the faces of your loved ones. You feel strongly regarding your foreseeable future in your Dr.

Basic concept of the method- in practice.

You could do this at anytime, but it's best to do this when you're relaxed. Your tiredness level doesn't matter, nor does your position while laying down, it's best to just not move, but if you're not comfortable with it, you can move around but try to not focus on it, focus on what's going on in your mind, because that's what shifts you.

Close your eyes, the best thing you could start off with is light daydreaming about your DR, for better or quicker result during the whole method it's best if you think of more decision/consequences based scenarios, afterwards, or during if you're going to affirm, I'd recommend visual affirmations (go around a specific place in your DR, see affs written around in any way you could think of).

We're checking into our DR. Now you're going to tell yourself that you are present in your DR fully, physically, mentally in your 4D, so you're supposed to remind yourself that 3D follows right afterwards.

Now, we're going to do a little on our own to attract results in 3D instantly by converting our energy, and expressing our DR in emotions.

All those emotions I've mentioned before, you're supposed to practice them in order of time, time does not exist anywhere else, just in your DR.

You could this by visualising scenarios where these feelings are induced naturally, for past, you can flash nostalgic images in your mind, or by listening to nostalgic voices relating to your DR as if listening to an old tape.

For present, if you're laying next to your S/O, do you feel desire to just roll over and just hug them? Other than that, you have a need to sustain yourself, your humanely need to stretch in bed, get up to eat, look out the window into the morning sky.

For future, if you work an engaging job, you could get excited about it. Other than that, hype up your future goals, aspiration.

If you've done this by adopting the nature and characteristics of your DR self, you can shift easily. You can add a wider variety of emotion. Importantly, don't fall into any doubts about you not being there, about you still being here, if you can't get over the gut feelings or if the shifting symptoms are intensifying periodically than you can keep repeating your scenarios/words/voices which induce these emotions for you.

...

Before I fall into a deep contemplation on how I could've improved this post and my explanation I am just going to go watch dead poets society because I miss it.

...

[hwnglx]

dating bts - q&a

personality qualities they like, what is love to them, mtl easy to date as a “regular” person, is jin unpopular or just shy, jin's favorite type of dates, taehyung's relationship with jennie, jimin's jealousy, new pet for jk and his fs? etc.

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

all members

❥ what kind of qualities (personality) does bts like?

seokjin: a person with a lot of depth. the type of people who get more interesting and intriguing the better you get to know them, and the more layers you peel back. i also got the card of the lovers, which is ruled by gemini -> someone smart he can enjoy mentally stimulating conversations with; especially the ones that have the potential to open your eyes to some things you didn't consider before. i can see him liking to bond with people in an intellectual manner. jin likes people whose minds and hearts align with his (i keep hearing “마음 통해” which basically translates to that) openminded and sweethearted people, who make him feel understood and loved for everything that he comes with, including his quirks and insecurities. he likes people who display sources of affection and support to the people around them, and bring this sense of harmony to situations that seem chaotic on the outside. boiling down to the libra archetype; someone who's charming, kind, loving and balanced. air signs, you have this man's heart.

yoongi: direct, straightfoward and assertive people, who aren't afraid to courageously speak their mind. an individualistic and self-aware person who doesn't put much importance into fitting in, or blending in with the crowd, and goes after their own personal objectives without really caring about what others think. someone who knows what they want and need in life, and doesn't shy away from taking the necessary action. at the same time, he likes chill and laidback people who don't engage in unnecessary and childish drama. someone who doesn't just speak empty words or creates conflicts out of thin air, but has good tact and appropriate sense of timing. strategic, smart and quick-witted people you can hold interesting conversations with.

hobi: mature and future-oriented. someone who doesn't dwell on the past and tries to always keep an optimistic attitude and outlook on life. people who aren't afraid to dream high, have their personal goals for life. someone who not actively strives for happiness and contentment within themselves, but also spreads the joy to the people around them. rather than people who are extremely uptight, intense, stern and take life too seriously; hobi likes sweet people who always try to see the positive in things. people who know how to appreciate what they have, and can find happiness in the little things. he likes a person he can enjoy the simple blessings of life with.

namjoon: someone who knows how to count and appreciate their blessings in life, while also not being afraid or running away from the inevitable negativity it can come with. openly celebrates the upsides, doesn't reject the downsides. someone with a realistic and grounded attitude and approach towards life. well-rounded, multi-faceted, upright and mature. honest and well-spoken. knows how to get to the core of things -> doesn't shy away from talking about deeper and more vulnerable topics, but does it in a gentle and careful manner. intelligence. emotionally, as well as intellectually. someone wise who can match him in terms of his philosophical vein, and has a good understanding of life. i got the card of the empress (lying in the middle of the three of swords and three of cups), which represents a beautiful mother figure, who's not not only the nurturer of the deck, but also known to multitask in an effortless manner.

taehyung: friendly people who are capable of emotionally profound and meaningful connections to others. someone pleasant, with a calm presence, who makes you feel comfortable. he also likes it when a person is stable, reliable, keeps their promises and has a strong sense of responsibility; the type of person who has developed a good balance between keeping both their work and personal life in check. wouldn't sacrifice one for the other. in addition, he likes people who are wise, intelligent, knowledgable with a sense of complexity to their personality. someone sensible who knows about the importance of keeping your cards close to your chest, and knows how to keep a secret. rather than people who just go around like an open book, sharing their business with everyone, he likes it when someone carries themselves with poise, and an enchanting type of mystery.

jimin: someone emotionally intelligent and in tune with their feelings, who approaches others with a genuine sense of compassion and understanding. people who know what it's like to struggle in life. i can see jimin feeling drawn towards people who've lived through certain difficulties themselves, and are therefore capable of bringing a different type of empathy to the table. non-judgemental and kind people who make you feel understood and accepted for who you are at your core, regardless of your downfalls and faults, or superficial flaws others might deem as unattractive. (nearly everytime i read for him, i get the feeling he's a little worried about being judged for his imperfections..) he likes it when someone has an inspiring and uplifting effect on others, and is capable of pulling the good out of every situation, no matter how awful it might seem. a bright-spirited person, who is able to find the light in the darkest of tunnels.

jungkook: someone bold, with a strong and powerful presence. a disciplined person who knows exactly what they want and has a clear direction in life. he likes it when people are sure of themselves, and not only aware of their objectives and ambitions in life, but also not afraid to take action, and do whatever it takes to reach their goals -> independent people who courageously put in relentless effort into their endeavours without batting an eye. he likes people whose energies light up a room. in addition, i can see jk feeling intrigued by people who are different to him, in language, culture, lifestyle, etc. or let's say someone has this specific hobby they're very good at and invested in, he'd feel inspired by that; especially if he himself believes he isn't good at it. lastly, he likes it when people aren't shy to be straightforward in their expression, and outspoken. he definitely enjoys mental challenges and playful bickering, and can feel drawn to people who aren't afraid to poke and provoke him sometimes.

❥ what is love to bts?

jimin didn't seem very comfortable with this question, so i excluded him

seokjin: to jin, love is something that flows. it comes to you naturally and progressively, and makes you want to share the valuable times you usually spent on your own, with another person. it makes you want to put your own selfish needs and desires aside, and willingly compromise with your partner; simply because you care about them, and genuinely love them. love isn't overly complicated to jin, it can be if you want to look at it that way; however, he prefers seeing it as something that makes life fun and exciting again, as opposed to displaying a source of pressure and weight. more than anything, he wants to just enjoy the sole feeling of being in love. he doesn't enjoy the thought of feeling attached or tied to someone in a suffocating manner but instead, sees coming together with his lover, as something that can first and foremost bring you pure joy and happiness. he wants to foster an atmosphere of natural understanding, consideration, and harmony. he believes love is about giving and receiving in an equal exchange, rather than strong power dynamics, and wants his lovers to feel heard out, listened to and cared about. he wants them to feel like their opinion matters, not any more than his, but also not any less.

yoongi: to yoongi, love is something that can require you to get out of your comfort zone. it might be a matter he doesn't exactly feel like his most comfortable or real self in, as he can often primarily see the limitations the heaviness of the word can come with. or shall i say, the weight society naturally ties to that word, as opposed to what it truly is in his eyes. he might not be the type to say “i love you” to many people, but instead, displays his love and affection by remaining consistent and persistent in his interest towards knowing, and understanding all of the facets of the person he's with. rather than taking it too deep, yoongi likes having relationships that can reflect positively in each other's independent lives. meaning, he believes that love can have a significant impact on the way you carry yourself, view the world, in retrospect treat the people around you. he believes when you love someone, you will want to have those impactful and significant conversations, that spark important mental breakthroughs in each other, and naturally bring you a refreshing sense of power within yourself. he believes love is when people make each other feel understood, supported, empowered, strong and encouraged.

hobi: (not him showing me an entire lovestory i will cry) to hobi, love is something pure that bares your soul. it's something where, you aren't afraid to allow your walls to come down and make yourself vulnerable to someone. i heard “home”. he believes that love should make you feel comfortable, and safe. it makes you want to open yourself up to a person in all your entirety, and feel accepted and loved for everything that you come with. in his eyes, if you love someone, you will love them unconditionally; with all their faults, downfalls, flaws and blemishes. but you will also be a strong source of support, and help the person with improving themselves as much as they can. hobi sees love as something that makes you care about someone in a profound manner, it awakens your desire to look after someone, and asks you to put the entirety of your heart, soul and effort into it. he believes that love consists of making the most beautiful memories together and treasuring them for a lifetime. he also sees marriage as a significant factor, which should come to you as a natural desire, once you realize the person you're with is the one you wanna be with for a lifetime.

namjoon: to namjoon, love is an uniquely universal feeling that connects people all over the world in a way like nothing else can. he sees love as something that requires straightforwardness, honesty and effective communication. in his eyes, in order to know whether it's love or not; you have to observe whether the both of you feel comfortable about speaking and showcasing yourself and all your facets truthfully, and feel understood for what your most authentic self consists of. he wishes for love to be an equal exchange of give and take, ying and yang; a balanced union where the two of you not only complement and complete each other perfectly, but naturally support each other in the pursuit of your individual endeavors. joon thinks that love should make you want to take care of your own self too, and make the healthiest choices possible, in order to serve the precious person you owe being your best self to. if he's in love, he wants to better himself continuously and expects the same in return.

taehyung: to taehyung, love is the perfect, and most fulfilling union between people. he believes that love is pure and innocent in its rawest form, and emotionally connects people in this unique manner. he sees love as something that can come unexpectedly and catch you off guard, but pulls on your heartstrings like nothing else. it just heightens your emotions like nothing else ever could. taehyung sees love as something that starts off with two people sincerely enjoying each other's companies, and feeling this desire to be with each other continuously. he's someone who can genuinely cherish every second he spends with his lover, because it can make you feel like the world has never been as beautiful as during the moments you're together. in his eyes, love grows increasingly deep the more time is spent together, realizing that this is someone who completes me and heals me in ways nothing else could. he sees love as an intimate and unique bond that only the two of them can understand. he wants to consistently invest his effort into making sure the spark between the two remains alive, no matter how much time passes, and thinks that for love, nothing is ever truly enough.

jungkook: for jungkook, love gives you purpose. it's something that makes everything worth it; the continuous grind is worth it, the neverending hustle is worth it, the inner turmoil is worth it. the ship that was aimlessly sailing before, desperate to know what it's conquering all these storms for, finally knows its destination. love gives jk a reason to keep going. he looks at love as an eternal promise, to never stop working on yourself, out of the genuine desire to give the person you love what they deserve. a strong promise to remain fiercely devoted and dedicated to that one special person in your life. he believes that if you love someone, you should be willing to embrace everything that it can come with; the beautiful, fulfilling and enriching upsides, that make you feel like your most powerful and valuable self, as well as the strenous, demanding and often times weighty downsides, that can border on being torturous. you're willing to go through the dirt, because the love of your life is worth it. love makes jk realize that, life isn't just all about ourselves; it makes him acknowledge how in the end to him, one of the most rewarding ways to live is by unselfishly serving the person you love, and in case you start a family, providing the most treasured and important people in your life, with the feeling of security, stability and comfort.

❥ mtl easy to date as a “regular” person

pls remember this is just according to tarot and my observation, this list could be different for others!

#1 jimin: lovers and five of wands

surprised me a little, i won't lie. i don't jimin cares too much about the superficial factors to a person, such as financial or social status, etc.. moreso sees love as a profound and unique feeling, that isn't just limited to people in the same realm. he believes that even if, e.g. external forces or personal differences could potentially display sources of conflict for the two, if the love and attraction is powerful enough; they'll be able to make it through. he'd want to make it through. there's a bit of a naive and slightly delusional aspect to him here, which is sweet since.. he usually gives me darker energy in terms of romantic topics. he gives me a little lonely energy these days, he might feel a little desperate to finally find his person.

#2 taehyung: ace of swords

so, taehyung seems quite open to dating whoever he finds interesting, as long as he feels like their minds align. the ace is more of a seed that hasn't blossomed into anything substantial yet though, so while i do believe he'd be ready for the idea of it; there could be difficulties in it developing further. i see him more ready for a fling and casual dating, rather than a committed and devoted relationship. i can't shake off the feeling that for the longterm, he'd want someone who's a better match for him in terms of their financial means, their status, etc. i can see him still prefering to date a person who's somehow involved in the industry as well.

#3 yoongi: temperance and fool rx

so in true yoongi fashion, he gave me the “whatever” feeling. like, he doesn't really care if it's a regular person he met at the café shop or not, he will vibe with whoever he vibes with. however! the reversed fool is telling me a clear “i'm not ready to take any risks though” he's very intuitive and good at figuring people out. so, he won't jump into any connection carelessly, and absolutely won't entertain a relationship where he feels like he's the one pouring into the cup more than they are. he needs to feel like it's a balanced union, where they're both on the same page. so it's like, if he feels like the person is only there to get him to.. idk, constantly buy them stuff, pull the good out of dating a bangtan member; best believe, yoongi will be out the door right away.

#4 hobi: justice, ten of cups and king of pentacles

hm, i don't see hobi being fully against it. he usually doesn't discriminate or judge people based on superficial matters at first, and wouldn't necessarily let it stand in the way of love. however.. he does seem to have high standards, which i don't see everyone being capable of reaching. it's like, he gives in at first, but might quickly realize it doesn't work as well as he had thought. one thing that keeps coming through, is how he believes that in a relationship, the scale should be balanced. i can sense this being quite pronounced in a financial manner; i've seen this come through a few times now, where the members can at times, prefer dating someone who's in possession of their own financial means as well, since that'd rule out the possibility of them being taken advantage of financially. i also see him wanting his lovers to respect his need for autonomy when it comes to his career. he might feel like a person in a similar position would be more understanding and tolerant concerning his lifestyle.

#5 jungkook: ace of wands, four of swords, three of cups, three of pentacles and judgement

so, jk seems like a member who's openminded. i see him being able to find a seed of passion with a variety of people; doesn't matter if they're a regular civilian, celebrity, fellow idol, etc. (tbh i will also admit, the ace of wands is very physical too, so hooking up is more likely) however, seed is the deciding word here, since the connection developing further could be difficult. what's interesting is; i don't see this being because of him, but moreso because of his environment, and the unavoidable circumstances that come with dating a man of his status. he's someone who not only has a lot of people around him, in private or at work, but also a lot of eyes and microscopes on him; which could potentially end up putting his partner into that same harsh magnifying glass. the judgement card at the bottom of the deck made things click for me; he's afraid of the unfair judgement his person could be under. not only that, them being a “regular” person could make it even rougher on them and their mental state, since they're not used to all the attention. i can't help but feel bad for him, since i do believe he actually likes the idea of dating someone out of the limelight.. but he isn't sure if he'd make the decision to willingly put his lover through that.

#6 namjoon: high priestess

i believe namjoon would take a long time to warm up to the person. like you'd have to earn one hundred percent and every single ounce of his trust, in order for him to feel like he can be with you in such an intimate way. i don't see him completely closed off from the idea, but he'd test the waters for a good while. like getting to know you and studying you thoroughly, to make sure he can figure out your motives before giving in. this man is smart. like if you come to him with any ulterior motives, best believe he'll see right through you. you can't trick him. i feel like him and yoongi are the most “no bs” members, that you just can not fool. i also believe he puts a lot of importance into intelligence and education when it comes his partners. (i'm not saying “regular” people aren't educated, just an insight i got in regards to his standards)

#7 seokjin: wheel of fortune, queen of swords and devil

so, usually seokjin is more openminded. i don't see him directly rejecting the idea in the past. but, i keep getting the queen of swords for him.. he might've gone through some negative experiences, which have resulted in him being extra careful about letting people in. he reads as very guarded and cautious when it comes to who he allows into his private life. telling you all, these men have a lot! of people who just wanna be with them for greedy and selfish purposes. it's genuinely difficult to be sure that the person is with you, for you only, rather than what you could do for them. they literally see bangtan as opportunities, and ways to climb up the latter, gather attention, get money, etc. so i truly don't see seokjin being very open to the idea. he'd be closed off, i see him being mistrustful about everything.. like “why do you wanna know this, why do you wanna know that?”

seokjin

❥ recently jin said he hasn't been asked out by anyone, is he not popular or just shy?

i don't see him as unpopular (i don't really see anyone in bangtan being considered unpopular), but moreso as someone who gives off an unapproachable vibe.

people either seem to look at him as someone who

a) would reject them anyway

b) is quite secretive and closed off about his private life

c) is a free-spirit who just lives on his own terms

so, i can sense reluctance in confidently approaching him. i can also sense some people looking at him as more of a friendly guy you can have easygoing and comfortable times with, rather than a person they see themselves dating.

he isn't necessarily shy; just very independent, and clear in his boundaries.

jin is immensely protective of his autonomy, and his career. he seems quite adamant in making sure people respect which lines they can and can't cross, and firmly separates his professional and personal life.

he seems like one of the members, who appears to be less trusting when it comes to letting people from the outside enter his life. jin usually prefers keeping things professional and work-oriented, or lighthearted and superficial.

i don't see him actually letting many people in on a personal level, so that discreet energy will understandably radiate to the outside -> people won't just go up to him as easily.

❥ what kind of dates does jin enjoy the most?

so right away, i saw this image of him sitting in the mountains with his lover, or laying in the grass while gazing at the stars. he seems to go two ways:

one: he likes intimacy. jin wants to enjoy quiet alone-time with his lover, where they can just blend out the loud noise from the outside world. especially when it comes to them getting to know each other through conversations; he wants to zone in on the person he's listening to, and closely listen to what they have to say. an example would include, sitting in a cozy café without many people, just the two of you in your own bubble for a short while. that gives them the opportunity to focus on one another closely.

two: he likes to explore the world together. jin is someone who likes the thought of having fun and interesting experiences with his lover, that only the two of them can share and naturally bond over. an example would include, taking a trip to a foreign country and exploring the difference in culture, food, etc. he definitely seems like quite the open-minded and spontaneous boyfriend, who'd be up to do many different things. let's say you signed up to a, idk.. pottery class but don't want to go on your own; he'd join you. even if he usually couldn't care less about it.

taehyung

❥ what was taehyung's relationship with jennie like?

it was quick and ended fast, but very passionate. they definitely had the potential for a solid foundation and it could've developed into a more stable and lasting connection, if only they had been more patient with it. they got quite lost in the thrill and excitement of it all. especially taehyung. i did a reading on it already, you can read it here.

jimin

❥ does jimin get jealous easily?

i got the king of cups reversed, which in a traditional sense would mean “no”. however, it's also giving.. if i'm not emotionally invested: no. if i am emotionally invested: yes.

though again.. i truly don't see him letting it get to that state in the first place; just rarely. i'd be genuinely surprised to hear him having had several committed and serious relationships that involved heavy feelings.

the card is also telling me about jimin's imbalance in emotions, and how he can have issues and insecurities about leaning into that side of himself more. it's almost like, he's lying to himself and deluding himself that he doesn't get jealous. although deep down he does. it's like, his heart and emotions win over his head and logic in that moment of jealousy, which can be something he doesn't enjoy.

i don't think he likes himself in an emotionally ridden state.. at all. he almost seems scared of it, because it can get quite dark, confusing and overwhelming for him. (note: if he's a sag rising, both his venus and mars in scorpio could fall into his 12th house, which would explain a lot of this)

i'm also sensing a fear of losing control over himself here, once he gets too caught up in the intensity of his feelings. that's the side of him he's likely to prefer suppressing, keeping under tight wraps and not showcasing to many people.

jungkook

❥ bonus: would jungkook be willing to get another dog or cat if his fs wanted to?

lol cute, the king of wands flew out immediately, so; yes. he seems quite confident in his ability to raise pets, especially dogs. it seems like he truly enjoys taking care of them, and holding the responsibility over them. it's very much giving a proud kangaji appa.

jk also seems to like the thought of putting their teamwork to the test; seeing how successful they could be at sharing the workload, and compromising together. almost like a test to see how well they would cooperate together as parents.

he's very adamant on making sure his fs acknowledges the significant role they play in raising the pet though, and actively doing their part. he wouldn't just want all the work dumped onto him. (kinda cute how serious he's taking it not gonna lie, but raising a pet is def no joke and requires nerves of steel! nine year long tired dog mother talking from experience)

he also seems quite protective; like he or she better along well with my son! (not bam saying hi in the reading) he'd put importance into making sure the new doggy or kitty addition would nicely fit into his already established little family.

separate post for jjk coming soon, stay tuned 🤍 i will link it here

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

random messages from the tarot

so, this is a short pac reading with no theme, anything essencial will show up on this readings. feel free to pick more than one pile <3

pile 1 pile 2

pile 3 pile 4

images from pinterest and dividers by @fairytopea

꒰ঌ ✦ scroll down for the results ໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ Masterpost and Tarot Menu ❁༺ ˎˊ-

*˚‧͙✧ PILE ONE ✧‧͙⁺*

During this very moment of your life, you need to stop expecting good fortune and luck to be on your side when you are thinking about taking any kind of new direction. It’s understandable that hope might be a great motivator for you, but you are limiting yourself if you’re ignoring how important are your own actions and your virtues, things that go well in your life, are not because of good luck, they go well because you did well. If you focus on developing your skills and your confidence, you will achieve a lot and actually enjoy those achievements without any sort of impostor syndrome.  Please understand that anything good that happens to you, in your case, is a reflection of what you do on your own in order to keep the abundance and the positive energy coming your way.

*˚‧͙✧ PILE TWO ✧‧͙⁺*

I get this feeling you are watching yourself detach from your own emotions and you are not sure what to do about it. When it comes to feelings of anxiety or sadness, it’s common to want to detach, or ignore them, but at some point this can happen sort of by accident, you know you’re feeling bad, but you don’t quite feel it sometimes. What I can say about this is that: try to deal with this by being deeply conscious on how and why these feelings are being ignored, don’t focus too much on what is causing them right now, but instead focus on why you are not allowing yourself to experience something completely human: feelings. Try to understand them as ways in which your mind and body communicates the needs you’re unconsciously ignoring. And please ask for help if you need to.

*˚‧͙✧ PILE THREE ✧‧͙⁺*

It’s time to stop being resentful with your past self, and /or the people who hurt you.  You’re carrying way too much baggage that is affecting your decision making skills, usually taking you to places and people that are far too similar to the situations that got you the baggage in your first place. This is a great moment to begin healing journeys aimed to allow yourself to have a deeper comprehension on your past, by taking a more objective look on it and being more understanding with your old self, more patient and comprehensive. For you, it’s necessary to see what thought are behavioural patterns are keeping you away from moving on from the past.

*˚‧͙✧ PILE FOUR ✧‧͙⁺*

You’re going to experience a lot of creative energy and fast changes soon. It’s key that you can embrace the fun yet chaotic but overall positive experiences that’ll come your way. These are not only meant to give you new perspectives and new opportunities regarding the material aspects of your life, but they’re also a manifestation of your own energy changing and attracting both positive and negative challenges. You will be put in situations where your passions will become a great source of guidance and hope, while becoming more and more present in your life. Expect new people wanting to approach you during a time of change and evolution like this, some come to help, some to test you, some will stay and others not.

hi, i'm gigi :)

i hope you enjoyed this readings and hopefully found something useful. check my masterpost if you want to know more about this blog or if you want to keep reading some more PACs. also, my bookings for personal readings are open!! so don't hesitate to take a quick look at my tarot menu if you're interested in that.

as usual, im thankful for all the good vibes on here, i hope everyone can get something out of this blog!! i'm really struggling to get consistent with posting since i prioritize my job as a tarot reader on an app and doing personal readings from here (and omg thanks to everyone who trusts me with that and thanks to everyone who books).

so yeah, thats pretty much it.

much love, gigi <3

[honeytonedhottie]

how to isolate and grow⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💶

quick disclaimer : when i say "isolate" i dont mean the negative connotation of self isolation where you push everyone away, i mean the laying back and rly focusing and tapping into urself BY yourself.

accessibility : limit people's accessibility to you, or narrow down how many people you allow to access you. ur energy is SACRED ur time is a privilege. its important that ur no longer looking for outlets in people.

during this time of stepping back and being super picky with how and who u spend ur time with its the perfect opportunity to separate urself from the toxicity that some people in ur life might bring. in that same breath, its easier said for friends then it is for family members because when u think isolation ur probably thinking of being a home-body which is a part of it. but if ur home is whats making u sick then try and spend time AWAY of the home to do whatever u need to do.

self awareness and responsibility : take a moment and be truly objective with urself. practice having the difficult conversations with urself. u know ur goals, but are u the person that can have those goals? and if not, how can u get to become that person.

this is also the time to address things that you've been sweeping under the rug. address anything thats starting to become a problem and address bigger problems in ur life. we wanna be able to take responsibility for ourselves and PROBLEM SOLVE. be super clear on what u wanna focus on during ur self isolation period and WHY you are choosing to do this.

find a mentor : find someone who resonates with you, whether it be online or in person, who is living the life that YOU wanna live or living a life similar to one that u wanna live. u dont have to have just one mentor, it can be multiple mentors for different aspects of ur life that u wanna improve. ur mentors dont even need to know you honestly, just someone u look up to

detox ur brain : mental diet. mindset is EVERYTHING as you know if you've been consuming my content lately. everything and i mean EVERYTHING begins in the brain. the thoughts that u think today will be what u experience tomorrow. speak to urself nicely, throw away old thoughts that dont align with ur dreams and replace them with positive ones thru repetition, fixed attention and practice

do brain dumps before u go to bed, its good to get out all of the thoughts in ur head before u go to sleep, out of ur brain and onto a piece of paper or something else in general. it doesn't have to be in a negative connotation either, write down ideas that pass thru ur head, goals, inspirations etc.

clean out : anything that u tend to cling to, whether its devices, drugs, drinking etc. practice fasting from it. it doesn't have to be extreme, just taking a break from it REGULARLY will improve it so much. an analogy i like to use for gradual change like this is with a rubber band. if u stretch the rubber band as far as it can go too quickly then it'll break, however if u gradually stretch the rubber band little by little, you can stretch it super far and it won't break.

experimentation : while ur self isolating this is the perfect opportunity to experiment with ur physical. dye ur hair a color that you've always been wanting it to. grow ur hair a couple inches, take extra good care of ur skin, experiment with different clothing styles. become ur own MUSE.

with that being said i wish everyone luck and blessings as you isolate and grow 🫶🏽

[sinisterexaggerator]

Hard Feelings

Hancock x Fem! Sole Survivor / Reader Insert

(AO3)

Summary: You are the General of the Minutemen. Hancock is your companion when out on missions. It's all fun and games until there are hard feelings at play, the ghoul thinking that one day you just might leave him.

Warnings: NSFW / 18+ for PiV sex, public sex (sort of), MAKEUP sex, switching, praise kink, heavy petting and kissing, fingering, biting, angst, a small domestic dispute, and negative thoughts and feelings associated with oneself (Hancock). In this fic, Hancock displays golden retriever boyfriend energy, and he is more submissive. He also experiences low self-worth, and feelings of inadequacy, which leads to doubt. At some point, he has a panic attack.

Notes: Another fanfic that is completely self-indulgent. I was inspired when I took Hancock to the Starlight Drive-In for the Minutemen mission. We were briefly separated when I (sole) climbed onto the roof of the movie screen. Hancock ran around down below in a panic, thus this idea blossomed; I mention it in this post. I stole Teeth's nickname for Hancock: Hanni. ;D )

Word count: 4.7k+

A gentle peal of thunder rocked the night, just hours from daybreak, the eerie green glow of your pre-war Pip-boy casting its luminescence across the present object of your interest: a sullied movie poster. It was curling at its edges, the faded face of a starlet frozen in time with her mouth agape having snatched your attention, for better or worse, as this potential settlement had yet to be explored—there was no telling what lurked out there among the shadows.

Rita Jean Scarlett was staring into the eyes of not man, but insect, The Barfly calling out to you from a bygone era. It was an Old World tale of weird science gone wrong, filled with hubris and lessons learned all too late. Not too far off from the reality of things, you mused, though meant as fiction, actor Chip Weathers having adorned the costume of the “ghastly” monster for his starring role. 

The creature had bulbous eyes and sticky clawed feet, yet wore a suit and hat. Once considered the stuff of nightmares, now things like this seemed to you like child’s play. You regularly joined in the company of ghouls; robots; synthetic humans, and even super mutants. You faced adversaries on the daily that would make prey animals of yesteryear look like teddy bears—an unnerving thought, but it caused you to smile regardless. 

“What are you grinnin’ about?” a curious voice asked, the creak of worn red leather signaling his closeness; two thin arms encircled you, pitted hands smoothing over skintight, extruded rubber, shiny as the ghoul’s black eyes.

“Just about how things that used to be science fiction are now science fact,” you offered vaguely, casting a glance downward to the sight of yourself being molested, Hancock groping your tit—like any typical man—before it maneuvered lower, gliding over your belly to dip between your thighs.

“Hancock!” you breathed, your pulse quickening, loins already beginning to throb as blemished fingers stroked the line of your vault suit, teasing you at its seam. 

“Hmm?” he hummed, ignoring the tone in which he had been addressed. He asked another question, even as he continued to fondle you sans mercy.  

“Things like me?” 

Hancock was unhurried, enjoying the sleek texture of the glossy fabric against the underside of his thumb. He was positive he was making you wet, wondering how long you might last before you were begging him to fuck you, just like a few hours previous.

However, his query caught you off guard, your mind preoccupied as your palm came to rest over John’s explorative hand, holding it firm, the ghoul taking liberty with your breasts again, cupping one’s shape to give it a squeeze.

“Things that shouldn’t exist? Like that monster up there who thinks he’s human,” he growled silkily, finely wrinkled digits pinching your pebbled nipple through that damnable suit that left nothing to the imagination, John’s prick hardening against the back of your leg.

“You might say that,” you replied without thinking, thoughts clouded with pleasure that would all too suddenly end, so careless was your answer that the ghoul recoiled.

“Really,” John flatly returned, as if for some reason not at all surprised, his warm, gentle touch leaving you longing, confused as to why he was beginning to walk away.

You turned from the ticket booth, staring after your lover as he kicked a loose rock across asphalt; it bounced, ricocheting off an overturned cigarette machine. Hancock pretended to be engrossed in the diner just up ahead, a part of the Starlight Drive-In theater, you both having been warned about raiders before traveling here.

“Hancock.” You followed closely behind; he did not pay you any mind, as if he had not heard you, acting about as mature as a spoiled child who was giving you the dreaded silent treatment.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you claimed, though it was the truth. To be asked that question to begin with seemed like he was fishing for flattery, but who were you to deny the charismatic Mayor of Goodneighbor a harmless stroke to his ego, especially when he meant so much to you.

“Is that where the “might” part comes in?” he snapped, his tone irritated; it was becoming obvious that he had not expected you to agree with him on such matters, the conversation quickly devolving. 

“Is this our first fight? Are we fighting?” you asked, Hancock’s beady eyes narrowing beneath his hairless brow at the flippant way you were brushing off his feelings, or so he thought. 

“Look, if you don’t want to travel with a ghoul, why didn’t you just say so— got better things I could be doing,” he groused, namely chems with his name on them. 

“Is that so? Well, far be it from me to stop you from doing those better things,” you returned, not understanding why he couldn’t just forgive you for something said in passing.

“Always a smart ass,” he complained, as if Hancock himself wasn’t guilty of using his fair share of sarcasm.

Had you not been so heated, you may have remembered just how self-conscious the sociable, charming mayor actually was. His confidence was partially a façade, though he wasn’t one to normally bring down a mood with his own insecurities. Being the introspective sort meant that Hancock wasn’t afraid to get to the heart of things, even at the cost of his own self-esteem. 

John had even allowed you in, being vulnerable by sharing details of his sorrowful past; it was no secret the ending had been bittersweet, if not unhappy. His own appearance had sickened him; he found it hard to believe a gal like you wanted anything to do with him, much less desire to share a bed together, especially since he wasn’t exactly a looker by human standards.

Perhaps you had failed to give him reassurance when it was needed, though temporarily blinded by your temper. Instead of trying to clear things up, you made it worse. 

“You’d be one to know,” you baited.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Hancock shot back, droplets of rain beginning to descend toward the ground.

“You know what? Go over there, check that place out.” You gruffly dismissed him, pointing toward the diner. “I think we both need some time to cool off,” you added, voice sounding less than amicable toward the man whose forehead lurched, as if he had been punched in the gut. 

“Yeah? Fine.” John’s feelings were hurt more by this simple demand than anything you had said thus far, Hancock behaving like a scolded puppy whose owner had treated it unfairly.

You shook your head as you watched him march away, Hancock’s red frock coat glistening thanks to a now steady sprinkle. You sighed, turning toward a slew of rusting, run-down autos, spying a shed somewhere in the distance—you hoped it had a crafting station, as your orders from Preston Garvey were clear.

---

No raiders were present, only mole rats and radroaches. Hancock had kept his distance at your request, though you weren’t so oblivious that you failed to notice the way he routinely hovered only a stone’s throw away. The ghoul was caught basking in your shadow more than once, stealing glimpses, a frown pulling down the edges of his thin-lipped mouth. Yet he would move along the moment you laid your eyes on him, as if embarrassed, not wishing to be the victim of your ire.  

Overall, he seemed to be taking things about as well as you had hoped, though he had technically been the one to start it. You weren’t a mind reader, either, refusing to try and decipher his body language despite the moping, waiting for a time you felt more at ease.

Although, it undeniably tugged at your heartstrings—knowing he was suffering in some capacity—but you kept a clear head, focusing on the task at hand—building a radio relay tower from spare parts in order to reach out to others, reclaiming the theater in the name of the Minutemen with the sole purpose of making the Commonwealth a better place, one settlement at a time.

It was when another accursed mole rat burst forth from its earthy den that you yelped in surprise, drawing your double-action revolver almost a moment too late. With teeth nipping at your toes, you shot the beast, Hancock having dashed to your aid.

You glanced back at him, rattled; he seemed satisfied knowing you weren’t hurt, though his gaze lingered, as if there was something on the tip of his tongue. 

After a moment, he asked, “Can we talk?”

“Not right now.” You shook yourself off, taking a deep breath to assist in the slowing of your pulse. You returned to your workstation, deciding it wasn’t appropriate to address any more personal issues at this juncture—you both had a job to do.

“Sure, got it,” Hancock said grouchily, the ghoul wandering off to continue sifting through various piles of refuse for any usable materials to add to your haul, though inside it felt as if gnarled fingers were cinching tightly around his heart. Anxiety was welling within him, as not being on good terms with you did not sit right; beneath the surface, he was a troubled bundle of nerves, though he did not want to rush you by any means.

If only you knew about the disturbing thoughts that were crawling up John’s brainpan, slithering through the cracks to possess his mental faculties, feeding them fear; unsurety, outwardly expressed by way of a sour attitude. So involved was he with the many voices collecting in his head, that he failed to notice when you had finished installing the relay tower, your instincts guiding you to the Starlight Drive-in’s once magnificent three-story screen.

You took the stairs, moving past a shoddy door to climb to the top. The sun was newly risen, a fine mist hanging over the expansive parking lot, rays of light from your planet’s star casting a beautiful glow along remnants of grass, present in patches, though the area was plagued by the contamination of rads—another item on your to-do list. 

You were enjoying the view when you observed Hancock poking around the last place he’d seen you, determining you were in a better mood and willing to talk. You had planned to call out to him when you saw him run the other way, circling the diner, and then the first place you had gathered—the ticket booth where you had exchanged unpleasantries. 

Confused, you continued your study of his erratic behavior, wondering if there was some unknown enemy skulking about, yet Hancock had no weapon drawn, his gait all at once frantic and without rhyme or reason, the ghoul seeming to have no particular destination in mind. 

“Hancock?” you asked yourself quietly, baffled at how John was going insofar as to peek inside doorless cars, or even under them, kicking into a full-fledge run as he made his way toward your perch. He wasn’t paying heed to anything that wasn’t at ground-level, failing to notice you up high above.

“Han—” you were enthralled, the ghoul almost as fast as a feral, which was a less than comforting thought, watching as John ran a lap around the base of the screen. 

You followed, pushing off the railing to walk the few short steps to the opposite side, catching him turn the corner as he looped back around. It wasn’t until you heard his panicked breathing and the terrified whisper of your name that you completely understood, gut clenching as Hancock came to a disconcerting stop. 

The poor thing looked to be having a meltdown, head darting to the left and right, though the only thing visible to you was the top of his tricorn hat. He began to pace, first one direction, and then another, not keeping to east or west, but zigzagging as if he couldn’t decide where to go, or what to do. 

He called your name again, this time louder, sounding more distressed. You could not tear your eyes away as Hancock fell to his knees, fingers digging into soft dirt as the ghoul appeared to be in the throes of a panic attack.

Was he—

Spurred to action, you turned toward the way you came in, quick to rush down the stairs as swiftly as your legs could carry you. You sprinted around the bend of the building, nearly bumping into an abandoned cooking station off to your right, skirting it in the nick of time; you passed behind the structure, witness to a heartbreaking sight.

“Hey,” you whispered, Hancock having pushed himself back against the wall, knees to chest. The ghoul was tightly hugging his own legs, his marred face buried in the folds of his coat.

You weren’t sure what was happening, or why, only that he seemed deeply upset he could not find you, not expecting your brief absence would have such a negative effect. The ghoul was mumbling words you could not discern as you tiptoed forward, bending down to his level to address his huddled form.

“Hanni?” you asked gently, calling him by a pet name you had given him so long ago, John’s head shooting up, onyx eyes glistening, though you dare not think he had shed tears on your behalf. 

Hancock gazed at you, his expression a mix of sadness, incredulity, and stark relief. You placed a hand on his shoulder, concern marking your features, John not budging from his half-fetal position. 

“I thought—" he began, voice cracking, words quavering with an emotion you could not quite define, “—I thought you’d skipped out on me,” he offered pathetically, the amount of hurt present in his eyes enough to make you feel as if you deserved to die. So devastating was the look plastered across his handsome, ghoulish face that you wanted to cry, moving to cup his ruined cheek in the crux of your palm.

“Why would I do that?” you asked, tone soft but firm, staring at your reflection within gorgeous, dark depths, as if the answer lay hidden somewhere deep inside them.

“Because I don’t deserve you; because you can do better than me,” he answered without hesitation, “because who would want to be stuck with this ugly mug; wouldn’t wish it on my own worst enemy,” he finished flatly, Hancock’s dispirited disposition arising from being rejected—that’s not to say he blamed you.

“Didn’t wanna talk, ignoring me, couldn’t find you—just figured you were through,” he continued, tone solemn, making you feel awful. 

You had deeply sinned to make this man react in such a manner—that was your first thought, Hancock’s gloomy mood permeating your defenses. All the walls you had in place came tumbling down, feeling nearly sick to your stomach as you scooched forward, prompting Hancock to drop his knees, legs finding even ground.

“No,” you berated, “none of that is true.” You shifted, straddling the ghoul, your other hand joining its partner to cradle his jaw opposite. “I won’t leave you,” you pledged, placing a kiss atop his furrowed mouth. “The thought never even crossed my mind.”

Hancock searched your face; he expelled a dejected sigh, breathing out through the hollow cavity that once housed his human nose. “You—you’re the best thing I’ve got. I don’t want to lose you, sunshine. I’d be dead in a ditch somewhere if it weren’t for you, hopped up on chems,” he admitted, hanging his head. “But don’t think I would blame you for hittin’ the road. I’d manage, somehow. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to make do, so just say the word. Don’t feel obligated to stick around.” 

“Is that what you think? That I would abandon you? That I would get sick of you? That I don’t want you here by my side? Hancock—” you emphasized, running your thumb over the curve of his ear, forcing him to look squarely at you with a gentle redirection, “—I mean it when I say I love you,” you lamented, kissing his raised flesh. “Please, don’t doubt me.” 

John lifted his head with your help, the concave divot residing front and center brushing lightly across your cheek. He presented you with a kiss this time, his cock enlivening beneath you, unable to help his arousal at the admission of your heartfelt words. 

“I won’t, not anymore,” he promised, another kiss administered, and then another, returning each touch of his lips with one of your own until they picked up in fervor, Hancock’s sly tongue subtly snaking its way between your teeth. 

“That’s what I like to hear,” you cooed, warm, wet muscles intertwining in an orchestrated dance that rekindled the deep-seated ache of your loins. 

“You listen so well,” you needled playfully; you had the ghoul’s number, knowing just what made him tick.

Hancock moaned a sound of gratitude, your impromptu praise causing his prick to flex, lean, wilted fingers creeping forward to place themselves deliberately along your thighs; they ran up the dips in your hips, and smoothed over the shape of your waist.

“You don’t know the half of it,” Hancock grated between avid swirls. His cock was riding up against your slinky blue vault suit—like liquid latex poured to conform to your body, it fit tight as a glove.

John held no complaints, only that you were still wearing it. Fortunately, you had ideas. 

“Being such a good boy for me,” you teased, your own hands roving, exploring the contours of his slender chest and waist, sweeping back and forth; you hooked his partially corroded throat, carefully capturing Hancock between the crook of your palm, thumb trailing his Adam’s apple in a light caress. 

“Not sure you know what that does to me,” he purred, the ghoul at your mercy as you gyrated your hips, your own sex succinctly aligned as you massaged his erection through faded black slacks.  

“Are you so sure?” you asked, grinning into your kiss, one of Hancock’s hands sneaking along synthetic fibers for three fingers to stroke the underside of your jumper. He pushed up only slightly, cupping your mound; you felt it in your core, a subdued moan breathed straight into the ghoul’s mouth—Hancock was so turned on, it was a wonder he didn’t just nut right then and there.

“You teasin’ me, sunshine?” John panted, groping your breast, digits fingering stitchwork; you bit down on your bottom lip as you reached for the clasp at the front of your collar.

“Get this off me,” you instructed, fumbling with the pull of your zipper.

“Is that a request?” Hancock asked cheekily, though he did not expect an answer.

“An order,” you responded, feigning authority, Hancock doing as he was told, though there was a hint of a smile crawling up the side of his face. 

“Yes, ma’am,” the ghoul chortled wryly, watching as you shed your suit like a second skin. You ushered it past the arc of your shoulders, the slopes of your breasts, to the base of your hips, leaving yourself half naked and assailable; John was unable to help his amorous stare.

“You’re so beautiful,” he declared, moving to knead doughy flesh, mouth finding your throat; Hancock sucked the sweat off your flawless skin, his other hand working its way underneath what was left of your vault suit, two fingers dipping into your already soaked cunt. 

“Fuck,” he hissed, slipping in and out, thumb pushing itself between the folds of your labia to rub your throbbing bud. 

“Yes, let’s,” you returned, swirling your hips, riding Hancock’s thick fingers as you clumsily moved to untie the flag wrapped about his narrow waist. 

“Right here?” he asked, perplexed. Though not one to argue, being out in the open without cover was dangerous; he knew better than anyone the risks of the Wastes. 

“I want you,” you answered, as if that in and of itself was all he needed to hear. You knew there might be consequences, but at that moment, your hormones were the ones in charge, a sharp gasp escaping as John’s fingers curled against the anterior wall of your sex.

“I’m all yours, love, forever,” Hancock vowed, following your example. He hastily unbuckled his pants after releasing your tit with reluctance, pushing apart the flaps to withdraw his glaring hard on; precum was already seeping out the slit at its head. 

“Promise me,” you insisted, lifting up off your thighs—and Hancock’s fingers—to shimmy the rest of your suit down toward your knees. It might be a little awkward, but you were too desperate to care, taking up the ghoul’s girth in the breadth of your palm.

“Cross my heart and hope to—” 

“Don’t you dare,” you protested, shoving your tongue back into John’s mouth, guiding his cock inside you. You sank down onto your haunches, inch by delicious inch, his variegated shaft filling you full up.

Then, the ghoul went rigid. “But sunshine, what about—” 

“Shhh, that’s it,” you whispered, though Hancock hadn’t done anything to warrant a reprimand. It was your own descent that had you crooning, dipping forward to feel that delightful pressure snug against your walls. 

“Not sure you wanna end up like—”

“—I took one a few hours ago, remember?” The darling man was more concerned with your well-being than even you; you could physically feel the tension leaving his body, John relieved to know you had things under control.

“You do love me,” you stated breezily, flicking the tip of your tongue inside the helix of the ghoul’s ear; Hancock shuddered, both his hands returning to your hips, touch featherlight, prompting you to press your palms against the partition behind him to prop yourself up on either side of his head.

“Wouldn’t mind you turnin’ Ghoul,” he replied throatily, thinkin’ spending an eternity with you sounded like the best damn thing a guy could ask for. 

Hancock watched with bated breath as you rose up to enshroud him in your shadow, breasts level with his eyes. He groaned his appreciation, seizing your right nipple between puckered lips, John’s bony hips pushing up against the round of your ass. The ghoul sucked diligently, dull nails clawing gingerly into supple, human flesh, incapable of keeping a straight face.

“What was all that about not doubting each other?” John huskily reminded you, the point of his tongue flitting against your sensitive skin. He returned to suckling, as if a babe latched to nurse, the hand left idle finally slipping down your thigh. Hancock spread your lower lips apart with the underside of two fingers, a third taking its place atop your thrumming clit, engorged with blood. 

“Shut up,” you urged, wanting him to belay speaking for fear the moment might spoil, Hancock grunting in indignation before he bit down lightly on your nip. 

You gasped a broken breath, cunt rising to the head of his cock. You dropped back down; Hancock bottomed out, sequestered in the deepest part of you, snug as anything, the ghoul hypnotized by your pretty writhing. 

“Why don’t you make me.” Hancock intensified the patient revolutions of blotched fingers, dragging you down by compressing your cheeks with his thumb and index; you slumped your shoulders just enough, angling to meet his current height, tossing your arms about John’s neck to humor him with another passionate kiss.

“Done.” You rocked forward, feeling Hancock’s sizeable member immured to its base. Indecent sounds kept each other company, the squish of your conjoined loins combining with the wet, obscene spirals of your whorling tongues. It wouldn’t take much longer to climax, your slick cunt tightening its grip on John’s rock-hard cock. 

The ghoul’s chest heaved between ragged breaths, Hancock practicing his self-control. He didn’t want to cum until you did, sliding his palm up to carefully cradle the small protrusion distending your lower abdomen. 

Feeling the outline of himself inside you was nearly too much to handle, a visible tremor preceding what was to be an early warning.

“I-I can’t hold back, angel.”

“Wait,” you countered, guiding the ghoul’s head toward your breasts, driving his noseless face into your cleavage; Hancock’s tricorn shifted backward as he followed your lead. He vested himself in the cocoon of your limbs,  moaning his approval, grabbing onto a fistful of ass as your back arched in pleasure. 

You opened your eyes to gaze at the sky—it was pale blue and cloudless, for once.

You came hard, the flat of John’s palm supporting your spine as you released your ecstasy to the heavens, the ghoul’s tepid seed discharging in spurts to paint your inner walls white; his ejaculate had been offered as payment for your lovely little song.

The ghoul felt overwhelmed and full of deep affection for you; Hancock’s teeth bore down on beautiful, unblemished skin; he broke capillaries, drawing your blood to the surface, leaving his mark in the form of a dark red welt. 

You gasped at the bite, Hancock ensconcing you tightly in his arms, both of you allowing your orgasms to run their course. His grip was a comfortable vise, brittle nails burrowing into lithe flesh with almost paradoxical tenderness; John was always so careful with you.

From an outsider’s perspective, the embrace of a ghoul meant certain death, with the expectancy you would be rent into unrecognizable pieces. Such a pose as you presented now was questionable, one that evoked alarm from bystanders, settlers who had followed the beacon to their new home, expecting to find the general of the Minutemen, but not like this.

“Ghoul!” someone shouted; you heard the shuffling of leather, the clink of metal.

“No!” you yelled, protecting your lover with the entirety of your body, encapsulating his slight frame. You shielded his vitals with your bare back, hunkering down to speak to these newcomers over the peak of your shoulder. 

“He’s not feral!” you growled, hating that you had to defend him, knowing how John must feel at this moment as he gazed up at you with surprised, wide eyes. You cared not that a horde of people had seen you naked; you only cared for Hancock, determined to preserve him and all his parts.

In reality, the ghoul was seconds from tears, knowing—without a doubt—that you had meant what you said. You were guarding his wretched life with your own without question, willing to die to keep him from harm, just as he gladly would have sacrificed himself to see you live another day. 

A day, he thought, that might have been better off without him, but now he was glad to be alive (in some form or another), swallowing hard against the knot in his throat, eyes never once leaving your impassioned face.

“We’re together; we came here together, and we will leave here together, do I make myself clear?”

A person stepped forward, separating themselves from the crowd. “Yes, General,” they said, having fortunately, or rather unfortunately, recognized you.

With a sigh of relief, those gathered departed. John practically smothered you, so forceful was his hug that it nearly choked the air from your lungs. 

Hancock didn’t know what he’d done to get someone like you, and he was afraid to ask. If there were any powers at be—something, or someone—watching over him, he supposed he’d owe them one, but for now he was more than happy to count his blessings. And the sad thing was, everything, all of it, could be a dream—or one long, hallucinatory chem-trip. If this turned out to be nothing but a fucked up Jet flashback, he’d just as soon never wake up. 

“I’ll follow you to the end of the Wastes,” Hancock blurted, voice strained and rasping, fingers; arms; chest tightening as he spoke against soft tufts of hair. “You and me together, the world ain’t got a prayer.”

Despite what had just transpired, you cradled him against the bow of your neck, oblivious to the inner workings of his mind, only wishing to absorb him, for him to live in the space between your ribs that stored your heart. All you wanted was to keep him safe for all time, knowing that he deserved the world, though the ghoul would most certainly outlive you. 

It was a melancholy thought, if ever one existed, but you did not allow your mind to dwell. “Sweet man,” you murmured, “it doesn’t stand a chance in hell.”

—-

Fallout Masterlist

[inksplit]

some of my personal superstitions/beliefs drawn from nowhere other than "I Just Know"

- Everything has energy and everything absorbs energy. Things that happened in a place never truly go away. There is always something left behind.

- Most hauntings, cursed objects, lucky objects, etc are caused by this. Rarely is it a full, actual ghost, or spirit of other kinds- though those exist, too. But most of the time, it's the manifest energy of Something That Happened. A room where someone lived the unhappiest years of their life may be haunted now, not by their ghost, but by the trauma they left behind. It is possible, even, to haunt yourself.

- The same works for blessed or lucky objects. If someone loved something for many years, and gave it to you because they love you, it will bring good things to you.

- You cannot steal someone's luck, or blessing. A lucky charm that has been stolen can become a curse instead.

- Some things, however, are inherently a little bit lucky. An acorn. A coin. A snail's shell. Serendipitously finding a lucky object is better than buying one; being given a lucky object from someone who has loved it is best of all.

- Anything can become magic; haunted, cursed, blessed, lucky, negative energy, positive energy. It all depends on what happened to it, or what happened around it. If it was loved, if it was hated, if it was important to someone. Grandma's lucky charm is lucky because she loves it and believes it, and has loved and believed it for many many years- not because it inherently always was. A cursed object may not contain a ghost, or have been cursed by a witch, but if it was in your home for 40 years, and every day you looked at it and hated it, it contains that hate now. You've cursed it yourself.

- This also is why old things tend to be more haunted- they've seen more. They've absorbed more. They know more.

- If the same object, the same image, the same figure, continually shows up around you, it means Something. What it means could be different for every person. Maybe to you, an owl was there when your mother died, so an owl means death to you; so if you are suddenly noticing owls all around you, maybe its an omen. Maybe it means you're thinking about your mother. But maybe to me, an owl means protection, an owl means I am safe. These can both be true.

- Stepping on a snail is very bad luck.

- Dropping an acorn into a river is good luck, but even better if dropped from a bridge.

- Dropping a flower into a river is good luck if it lands face up and floats, but bad luck if its just swept away or turns over. If a flower is dropped into a river from a bridge, and you see it float through to the other side (and remains face up) it is the best luck of all.

- Seeing an intact mushroom while out on a walk is good luck. Seeing a broken one is bad luck. Stepping on one and breaking it yourself is the worst luck.

- Breaking a doll's face is horrendously negative. Maybe not 100% always a curse, but it's highly likely. A doll you have broken is your responsibility now.

[cassylost-inspace]

The object show community has honestly become so unsafe and toxic. I’ve only been in the community for a year and a half ,but the difference between now and then is honestly drastic. People don’t even enjoy the media anymore, all everyone does is criticise. While criticizing is fine, I don't think a community should be based on that. I have barely seen ANY positive posts about the ii movie, everyone treats it like it's meant to be God tier and I get that everyone thinks they should get what they deserve, but holy shit you guys have nothing good to say. Shipping has also become such a difficult point of discussion in the community, considering that everyone believes that their ship and their ship ONLY is good. Most of the shipping stuff wasn't relevant to me, because I'm a multi-shipper but the fandom takes ship wars to an extreme,honesty speaking. Another point is the fact that people are mad at ii for making canon ships,, again this doesn't bother me,because I have always liked all of the popular ships but it's honestly not that deep. I think I've seen like a million posts about the payjay scene from ii 18,, and people got SO mad over fan service despite the fact that it was like 3 minutes long 😭 Another thing is, I haven't talked about c2bc on here b4, but Cole getting cancelled proved how fast the fandom is willing to act immediately on a show's downfall. "I never really liked the show" that's really not the point here. I feel like people should take the situation of cole being racist more seriously instead of just taking this as a chance to bash the show. Moving on,, I remember seeing a post of someone saying "how could you even cry to object shows,, they're so unserious" why do you care? Genuinely WHO is it hurting.Moreover people saying stuff like only "12 year olds watch object shows" is dumb; because have you ever been in a fandom before??Teenagers literally keep fandoms alive, also who DO you want to be in this community. My last point is how almost everyone acts like object shows are meant to be "amazing works of art",, like they literally started off as terrible. These shows are indie and run by an even amount of people, stop treating the shows like Hollywood. Reminder that these people can do WHATEVER they want with their characters. Animationepic is one of the most listening teams out there, they sacrifice a lot for their fans and I personally think that they're allowed to do anything they want with their characters especially since they put so much effort into what the fans want. As someone who uses object shows and animation in general as a way to escape reality,, it is evident that most of you do the same. So I don't understand why there is just SO MUCH negativity coming from the community,, when os fans are so clearly talented and instead of putting effort into being hateful they can use this energy to make art, amvs, maps and animation memes and help uplift the community and it's overall impact on others.

Ik I normally don't post stuff like this, but the osc is REALLY important to me and I feel like this should be brought to more people's attention.

-Cassy

[ad-caelestia]

i've spent a lot of time saying "here's what you could do" as a witch versus "here is what i actually do" as a witch, so let's go.

as much as i try to stir my coffee in one direction or another, it always ends up counter-clockwise - instead of seeing it as a mistake, i just work around it by thinking of it like, i'm banishing (counter-clockwise) negativity from my day versus attracting (clockwise) positivity.

i tend to use colors that align with planets versus other folkloric associations - instead of a green candle for money, i'll use a blue one because blue is associated with jupiter which is associated with wealth and good fortune. lucky for me, all the other planets have colors that align appropriately so i don't have to think about those as much (sun - gold, moon - silver, mercury - ehhhhh a mix of like, yellow/violet/indigo, venus - baby pink/mint, mars - red/rust, etc etc.).

i have a money bowl that i redo on the first of every month and i set a cinnamon stick above my front door for prosperity - i have a tiny little angel of a bunny whose health means more to me than the ritualistic act of blowing cinnamon into your home from outside the front door.

my "grimoire" or book of shadows or WHATEVER you wanna call it lives on my computer via onenote and is also scattered through many many notebooks i have collected over the years - if i'm being honest, i am way too picky about my handwriting and messing things up when i am writing in pen that i would just rather keep it somewhere i can type and alt+f to get where i need to go.

my main altar lives on a pretty gold and faux marble bookshelf but honestly, my whole house is my altar - there are sacred spaces at every corner if you know what to look for.

if i want something for my craft, i try to repurpose old things or thrift for them - you'd be amazed what you can do with some of the most basic things (i found my money bowl, which is a crystal dish, at the thrift store for 99 cents); the dollar 25 tree is also a good spot to shop for cheap trinkets.

much of my craft is muscle memory, which has come from YEARS of practice - if i'm cooking and need to use like, basil for example (luck, money, protection), i just kind of already know what it's "good for" and keep that in the front of my mind while i'm cooking so the intent doesn't get buried.

i really REALLY prefer to make my own stuff but that's not always feasible - i really thought the other day that i could just start making candles for myself and had to put that thought on HOLD because let's be real, i'm not doing all that. instead, i will continue to use all the chime candles i have collected over the years instead of immediately going out to find something new.

cleansing ritual who? every time i mop my floor or clean the baseboards or wipe down the counter, i'm cleansing my space. i very much believe that mundane cleaning can be equally as magical and therapeutic if the intent is there.

same thing with literally any other magical thing i do these days: i won't go digging for new items to serve me and my spellwork, i will just use what i already have.

doing spells when the opportunity presents itself versus days of planning - i got a new body wash the other day whose main ingredient and scent is rose so i figured i could use it for a glamour at some point; needed some cinnamon the other day for pancakes and stashed some away for use as a catalyst later on; stuck a bay leaf in my pasta sauce while cooking and made a little wish beforehand.

tethers. everywhere. this one's a bit personal for me but generally speaking, i like to tie energy to a physical object and store it for later use.

i have never buried anything in my yard for any reason - i usually just stick it in a box if the spell isn't finished, cleanse and reuse, or discard all together after thanking it for its assistance.

i swear i have a mean tarot deck and a nice one so i tend to be biased and choose accordingly. 🙃

i also have two pendulums i don't use and a set of blue goldstone runes that i have had for 8 years but don't touch anymore. let that be a gentle reminder that you don't have to do all the things, i promise.

anyway, those are some things about my craft ok bye

[a-d-nox]

hi! would like to ask for advice on how i can deal and overcome the challenges of Saturn in Pisces transits in my 9H? I was always the overachiever and competitive student because of my stellium in 3H (all the beneficial planets) and mars & uranus in 9H but now that i am already in college, the situation turned upside down and i find it hard to keep up now on my studies which i think the Saturn transit in my 9H has great negative effect on this. Thank you in advance!

how to survive the pisces saturn transit throughout the houses

paid reading options: astrology menu & cartomancy menu

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1h

needing to figure out abstract self, being challenged by personality traits, struggling with outlook on life, feeling the physical body age, appearing older/maturer, detachment from beauty, struggling with false confidence, delayed or limited beginnings especially in terms of spirituality and creative pursuits, struggling with taking initiative, struggling with ambition, false mannerisms, needing emotional discipline, feeling physically weak, and/or creative passion

recommendations: try to separate your self from a situation. notice how you are no your situation. learn to better control reactions that originate in from your personality. try to see situations from all sides - practice objectivity. learn to act your age - better to be mature than immature. learn that beauty is to be separated from who you are - you are more than your body. practice self-love - do mantra work or positive self-talk. take breaks - let yourself know it is okay to do so. do things only when you have the energy and inspiration to do so. try one new thing a week. don't let yourself be kept back from experiencing new things. understand that you are very capable. keep emotions in check - learn to better manage them. sleep more. exercise and get movement more. create something new.

2h

needing more discipline when spending resources (spiritual and monetary), hard spiritual work, short-term turned long-term work and discipline, the need for a mature work ethic, immaterial possessions, the illusion of possessions, limitations to self worth, illusions about the self's value, detachment from personal values, emotional insecurity - the need for empathy and less apathy, lack of stability, struggling to meet financial obligations, and/or needing practical giving and receiving abilities

recommendations: keep a budget book or invest in a budget coloring book. track your mood. don't over extend yourself. make sure that you you are practicing shielding and protecting your energy. dig deep and do shadow work. deep dive into spiritual practices. be open into making a side hustle into a job. do research about your field of interest. practice being the bigger person. not everything you have is physical - take stock of what you have (health, happiness, emotional understanding/depth, etc). practice self-love - do mantra work or positive self-talk. make a list of what matters most to you. evaluate your ethics - figure out your ethics. reconnect with what matters most to you. be more willing to hear others - their problems aren't yours however they are no less important. finding stability and consistency where you can - not everything is forever so appreciate it while you can. make calendar reminders for your due dates for bills. do not give more than what is asked for. learn to be more appreciative of what you are given - practice gratitude.

3h

seemingly chaotic communication, deceitful information, a need for empathic communication, needing healthy/consistent communication, needing to stabilize the speaking voice, feeling anxious when talking with others, needing to be more aware of others social boundary requirements and needs, challenges of the mind, delay realizations, overthinking, false thought and ideas, curbing false perceptive of an event, needing more practical opinions, making the subconscious mind conscious, needing to be more in control of thoughts and speech, spiritual interests, being more wary of gossip, being more compassionate about other's ideas and the information they share, needing to read more spiritual literature, a lack of transportation, not always trusting local media or social media, needing to step away from phone use, not being as fearful about making that phone call, visiting estranged fathers, and/or not letting the illusions of a social activity stop you from attending

recommendations: try to cut to the chase - less fluff, more facts. be careful - don't believe everything you hear. be more willing to hear others - their problems aren't yours however they are no less important. take a breath before talking - no one is judging you like you think they are. when someone sets a boundary respect it - don't be afraid to express your boundaries either. do mental / brain exercises. reflect on your day. try not to spend your day re-thinking everything you have done, everything you have said, everything people have done to you, and everything that people have said around you. reflect on whether or not you might be biased in a situation or if you are letting your mood color your opinion. keep a dream journal and interpret your dreams. think before you speak. curbing and rewriting your thoughts - opinions and perspectives are not facts. avoid participating in gossip. read more spiritual books. take a walk. don't trust everything you read or hear. know that nothing is as scary as it seems; the idea is often worse than reality.

4h

how home feels - do you feel trapped? can you escape into your home? etc, investigating family roots, setting mature boundaries with parents (particularly the maternal figures), supporting the inner child using maturity and wisdom, doing shadow work, being responsible/empathetic/mature in emotional situations, making more solid foundations, creating enduring traditions, and/or spiritual self-care

recommendations: re-evaluate your home life. smoke/noise cleanse your space. do some nesting. ask parents and relatives about their life and their family. set boundaries with your family - don't be afraid to reinforce them either. nurture you inner child - let them know that you can protect them now. do shadow work. take responsibility for your emotions both the mature and immature response you have/had. take things slower - no one is in a rush (slow and steady wins the race). re-invent familial traditions to be more modern and to better serve you and your needs.

5h

inner children work, childlike escapism, talent, creative disciplines, escapism via creativity, creative limitations, creative efforts, childish drama, escapism via drama, karmic drama, false accusations, risk-taking after a long time of being stable, romantic drama, escapism via romance, romantic boundaries, escapism via hobbies, and/or pleasures you find when pushing off responsibilities

recommendations: do shadow work. do things that your inner child would like. embrace your creative side. take an art, dance, or acting class. watch a comfort movie or show. know that all effort made is good effort. don't participate in drama. watch reality tv. don't listen to other people's accusations - be the bigger person and simply say 'i'm sorry that you feel that way and that is your perception on the matter." take a risk - playing it safe doesn't always lead to the gains you dream about. date for fun and create boundaries when dating - if you are just dating for fun, make sure that you are transparent from the beginning that you don't want something serious. deep dive into your hobbies. have some fun - not everything has to be serious and all about responsibilities.

6h

creative routines, lacking a routine, spiritual routines, the limitations of a routine, mental health, vitamins and minerals, karmic duties, self improvement via shadow work, lack of consistency, delusions surrounding hygiene (don't fall for fads), spiritual innocence, good karmic, showing maturity in karmic situations, and/or spiritual analytical

recommendations: journal, draw, sing, dance, etc per a routine - practice your interests consistently. a lack of routine will be a given but follow one when you can - an off day is not the end of the line, just because you missed one day doesn't mean you give up. take better care of you mental health (get a talk therapist, journal, etc). start taking you vitamins (make sure you talk with a doctor as needed about doing so as well). take care for the debts you are left with in the physical sense. do shadow work. now is not the time to switch up everything in your hygiene routine - slowly introduce new products into your routine don't do it all at once. lead with being ignorant in the situation and show your willingness to learn. be as mature as you can be in a rough situation.

7h

accountability in long-term relationships, the limits of relationships, sensitivity in relationships, emotional boundaries in a relationship, a show of empathy, spiritual attraction, spiritual charm, chaotic/challenging/karmic conflicts, karmic partnerships, deceptive contracts, hidden enemies becoming open enemies, false negotiations, compassionate equality, spiritual harmony, sharing wisdom, sharing dreams, and/or sharing feel in a healthy manner

recommendations: take accountability for things that go wrong in your present relationships. know that happiness is an inside job and not something that you can depend on others for. so empathy and understanding in your situations. share your boundaries with your partners. be empathetic to others because you will never truly know what is happening or what has happened in their life. lead with love and light to attract the same in return. be wary of conflicts and reflect on whether or not you have been in a similar on previously. read the fine print. share your wisdom with others. treat people as you wish to be treated. be vulnerable with others.

8h

long-term spiritual transformation, emotional sex, spiritual death, facing long-term challenges, chaotic changes, clever shared financial documents, spiritual investments, creative investments, spiritual rebirth, merging creative ideas, karmic taboos, secrets, mystery, shadow work, and/or empathy/compassion towards trauma

recommendations: prepare for a long-term change. let go of old beliefs that no longer serve you. don't try to order the chaos - just go with the flow. invest in yourself spiritually. buy yourself an art piece or fancy music player. invest in a creative pursuit. let yourself be reborn spiritually. don't be afraid to combine two of your ideas. explore the unknown. be empathetic to toward your and others trauma.

9h

spiritual wisdom, limitations of law, chaotic values/beliefs, a jobian test of belief, spiritual discipline, needing to be more kind to yourself where higher education is involved, chaotic/false/limited viewpoints, needing to use language to express boundaries, needing responsible ethics, long spiritual journey, and/or learning about spirituality/boundaries/discipline/karma/empathy

recommendations: share spiritual wisdom with others. know that not all set laws feel just or deserved. embrace having a mixture of beliefs. it is okay to question your beliefs. if you feel tested, it is for a good reason so just stay strong and keep believing. just because you fail at something doesn't mean you fail at everything - be okay with trying new things. verbally express your boundaries. be ethical in your day-to-day life and recognize your ethics aren't going to be universally accepted. be open to hearing/learning new things.

10h

chaos legacy, limitations / perceived restrictions in legacy or career, spiritual task, sensitivity in career, chaotic public image, falsities about status/image, spiritual reputation, test of popularity, needing patience for long-term goals to manifest, the perceived effort/challenges in one's mission, and/or spiritual responsibilities

recommendations: uncertain direction in life - figure out what you enjoy and how it can make it your life. don't let your ideas about a career stop you from pursuing it. work on your spiritual journey/tasks. be sensitive towards others at work. know that you can always turn your image/reputation around. don't belief everything you hear about someone. evaluate your need to be known. practice meditation. evaluate in the "juice is worth the squeeze" when it comes to your mission/task.

11h

karmic friends, boundaries made between friends, spiritual gains, what is gained from hard work / effort, spiritual desires, abstract/ non-material desires, unique/rare challenges, social awareness of boundaries and the need for compassion, influence over personal karma, limitations to manifestations, limitations to one hopes and wishes, false ideals, and/or spiritual debut

recommendations: beware of karmic friends. enforce boundaries in a friendship - just because you are making a boundary doesn't mean you don't want to be their friend. put in the work to gain. do the spirit work to improve. evaluate your non-material desires. be more aware of other people's boundaries. evaluate whether or not you are in your own way. figure out if your expectations are too high.

12h

spiritual healing, hidden emotions/boundaries, karma lessons, needing to be wise and graceful with age, insufficient sleep, avoiding mental health, needing to take responsibility for mental health, spiritual solitude, lack of or strange/unclear dreams, illusions about spirituality/age, fearing karma, karmic losses/endings, escapism from responsibilities, limiting beliefs that slow progress, the subconscious mind's needs, karmic self-undoing, how the past is coming to affect the present/future, and/or spiritual delays in ability

recommendations: practice spiritual healing. investing in crystals. embrace grace and wisdom when dealing with others. take naps and reset your sleep schedule. take accountability for your mental health/wellbeing. take care of yourself - it is okay to take time away from others too. keep a dream journal and interpret your dreams - to better understand your subconscious. debunk your beliefs regarding spirituality.

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[mxtxfanatic]

Hi! If you don't mind me asking:

What does mxtx says about jc's character? Like some jc stans claim that she has said he has a knife tounge and tofu heart, (I don't believe it still) is it true? I don't know where to find her interviews, so I asked you instead:)

Thank you 💕

MXTX speaks on Jiang Cheng’s character in two places that I know: the old version of the postscript of the novel (absent from the official 7seas release) and an interview from before she left socials.

In the postscript, she only has this to say about Jiang Cheng:

Everyone should know what Jiang Cheng’s keyword is without me saying it. In the beginning, I thought with with XY’s [Xue Yang] existence, Jiang Cheng’s negative energy would definitely seem skimpy. Who knew he became the ultimate superstar of the comment section? Compared to him, XY was almost a poor, has-been idol. Only now and then would someone decide to drag him out again. Of course, in the end, under the combined PDA attacks of WWX and LWJ, the past and present superstars were obliterated.

And in this interview, she goes more in-depth. Sidenote: while I appreciate the interview for what it, I do not appreciate the ways in which they insert their own opinions about how they think MXTX should feel about Jiang Cheng into the actual interview commentary, and it shows how much of a bias even the interviewer had towards his character to have asked so many leading questions in an attempt to get a positive response out of her about him.

Anyways, here's some expansion by @jiangwanyinscatmom on the nuance of what mxtx meant by “not heinous/evil” that was lost in translation here and some more re-translation (still of the same interview as above):

墨香铜臭：本性不是特别坏，但是有人要讨厌他的话，那也没办法。因为你讨不讨厌一个人，也是……也是自己的问题。

He is not a 坏 (basically spoiled broken, corrupt) person by nature, but if someone wants to dislike him, there is nothing I can do about it. Because whether you dislike someone or not is also... your own choice.

MXTX's answer about why Jiang Cheng never could marry and how she sees him as a character (parenthesis section for jiangwanyinscatmom's own translation notes):

墨香铜臭：就性格比较差劲吧，谈了几个，吹了。 (He just has an 差劲 (average/lame/disappointing, let down) temperament, he dated several times but they were all failures) 墨香铜臭：我眼中的江澄……我眼中的江澄，就……其实没怎么样，我写文还是比较客观的。我看他……我看他就、就像是在看一个作品。 女主持：如果让大大本人来介绍江澄这个人的话，你会怎么介绍他？ 墨香铜臭：我觉得他是一个负能量比较……重……的人。 女主持：这么简单吗？ 墨香铜臭：对，负能量比较重，但是也不是个、也不是个十恶不赦的人吧。对。 MXTX: In my eyes, Jiang Cheng... In my eyes, Jiang Cheng is... Actually, it's nothing special. I am relatively objective when writing. When I look at him... When I look at him, it's like looking at a work of art. Female host: If you were to introduce Jiang Cheng, how would you introduce him? MXTX: I think he is a person with a lot of negative energy... Female host: Is it that simple? MXTX: Yes, he has a lot of negative energy, but he is not a heinous person. Yes.

In short: MXTX describes Jiang Cheng as a character that is filled with negativity and unable to date, but he is not inherently evil nor to the point of being irredeemable. He is a product of the story and fulfills the role he was created to fulfill in the plot. He's not a good person, not overtly and not secretly. That's it.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Can I ask why you don’t like Vil much? If you haven’t answered that already?

For me, I also didn’t like him at first but loving Rook has turned me into a Vil lover 😭.

[Referencing this tier list!]

A significant part of it is no fault of Vil's own, it's just... I have a very strong aversion to celebrity characters. This dislike scales up the more famous that celebrity character is + how much attention is brought to their status, and well... Y'all know perfectly well how famous Vil is 🤡 This is why I also dislike his father to some degree, though it's to a lesser extent because I at least appreciate Eric being involved in his son’s life + find Eric to be friendly.

Celebrity characters tend to make me feel deeply uncomfortable chiefly because their careers put them in a position where they're ripe for parasocialism (which is when one party, ie their fans, extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, ie the object of their affection, is completely unaware of the other's existence). Parasocialism in of itself is not a negative thing by default; it can, in fact, be a powerful motivator to improve oneself or can significantly lift one's mood. Some sectors entirely rely on parasocialism to function (such as the "influencing" industry).

Where it starts to get iffy for me is when we veer into the most parasocial of fans who will take extreme actions to support and/or hate on an individual. These are your stalkers, your sasaeng fans, etc. While I'm aware that these are the vocal minority of a celebrity's fanbases, the kinds of things these extremely parasocial fans pull off deeply unnerves me. Like Vil, the celebrities involved are by no means at fault—but they’re always “tainted” in my mind by the association due to the sheer magnitude of what the most crazed fans do in their name 💀 So when I think of that celebrity… I also think of the insane stuff they have to deal with from their fans and that stresses me out.

I find the whole “celebrity worship” culture in of itself very odd. It’s difficult for me to form an attachment to a real person that doesn’t or cannot reciprocate. (It’s easy to do with fictional characters because they, by design, can’t exactly reciprocate and I can “turn them off” whenever I want to.) By extension, it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around activities like following the celebrity’s life closely, supporting any and all projects due to their involvement alone, and collecting merch/signatures. Thinking of Vil’s fans doing this… (or, as seen in the Tapis Rouge event, getting emotional/shrieking for him, begging for a glance, fainting, etc.) it invokes those feelings of discomfort again.

Finally (regarding the celebrity thing), Vil and other famous people tend to be in the spotlight. I don’t really like this sort of a presentation; it calls too much attention to them. This runs counter to the types of characters I tend to gun for: the schemers who operate from the shadows, typically appearing innocuous or humble at first glance. These characters stay out of the spotlight and prefer it that way, as it allows them more freedoms to enact their plots. Celebrities’ positions don’t really allow for that. Even if their off-camera persona is completely different than their on-camera one, the attention they’re showered with never seems to fade.

I also find Vil’s entire presence way too intense (even when he’s lined up next to arguably much more physically imposing students like the 180 cm+ squad or any muscular character). This is why I can tolerate Neige but dislike Vil; Neige comes off as innocent and approachable—so much so that I don’t even register him as an idol or a celebrity in my mind. He’s just a cute boy-next-door type inviting me to dance and sing with him and his friends!

Vil’s hair, makeup, tall heels, the need for perfection, his sternness. It’s a LOT to take in. I can admire the confidence and the tenacity with which Vil pursues beauty, but at the same time… it can come off as super overwhelming. I don’t think I could comfortably breathe in the same space as him without feeling like I’ve offended his sensibilities 😅 Sometimes I get a little anxious just reading him scolding others; it feels like he’s reaching through the screen and scolding me too. I get the overwhelming vibes even through the things Vil creates or commissions; the composition and choreography of Absolutely Beautiful was so oppressive and centered on winning that I disassociated from my own school’s team 💀

Some other minor, miscellaneous gripes I have with Vil:

I don’t generally have a problem with Vil’s leadership or how he guides/teaches others. (His behavior is very similar to what I’ve experienced within my own culture’s upbringing.) However, I do not approve of all of his methods and I do think he does “too much” at times + oversteps, making me feel uneasy.

His tastes don’t really match mine! It’s a little too “glam”, especially the ensembles with heavy smoky eyes.

What’s with him dying the ends of his hair that color… It makes me think of him dunking his head in grape Kool-aid as a dye ��/j

There we are ^^ I hope that explanation was sufficient!! I tried to explain my… admittedly complex feelings behind my dislike of Vil as neatly as I could. Nothing against the guy, how he is written, or his fans (both in-universe and irl), of course!! This is just my opinion.

[hwnglx]

sunghoon's real personality behind the scenes

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

not the devil coming up as a green flag.. damn

+ sunghoon is such an interesting character; he's this unique mix between an immensely passionate guy with high amounts of ambition and drive in him, as well as someone genuinely chill and laidback. although he's no doubtedly a person blessed with an incredibly independent nature, who in no way shape or form lacks strong objectives for his own life; he isn't necessarily the type to be interested in rubbing his appetite for success and validation in anyone's face, be all obnoxious and annoying about it, or rudely step on anyone's toes in order to get what he wants. he's someone who usually remains pleasantly modest, despite his clear desire and hunger for achievement, success and recognition. i do believe he's a person who proves that being self-focused does not necessarily have to translate to them being insensitive to the people around them.

sunghoon is blessed with an empathetic and understanding nature, that makes the people around him feel comfortable and at ease. he's someone who's excellent at attuning himself and his demeanour to the people around him, possessing this natural gift of sensitivity and consideration towards others. i heard “예의” which translates to ”manners”.

sunghoon is the type of guy to think “if you don't have anything nice to say, just shut up.” someone who's fond of harmony, and hateful of negative energy and conflict. he doesn't have a fragile ego that makes him feel the need to defend or justify himself at every given chance. he's just chill, and seems to have this appropriate and healthy amount of confidence and trust in himself, which prevents him from feeling the need to belittle other people in order to feel like the bigger guy. in contrast, he's someone who will uplift people and encourage them to see the glass half full instead of half empty, in a genuine manner, as well as feel fulfilled if he ended up having a positive impact on someone.

he seems to have well-established manners and a level head on his shoulders, and sees being polite and courteous to the people around him like an understandable and natural thing. he doesn't like disturbing a serene environment, and moreso seeks and fosters peace. he usually isn't the type to just recklessly go on a whim and be all “screw all of you, i will do what i want” the majority of the time, he's discreet and careful in his behavior. (he's very much giving venus-ruled to me)

another insight i literally get everytime i read for sunghoon; he's a great listener. someone willing to sit down with you if you need a second, and quietly listen to you talk to your hearts content. when i tell you, if sunghoon cares about you (which is moreso reserved for the special people in his life, usually he just lets people be), the man will sincerely care about you.

albeit, spirit does want me to talk about how the man isn't all flawless and perfect all the time; sunghoon does seem to have his moments where he can get these sudden shifts in energy and say things that come off strong in the heat of the moment, potentially making him offend sensitive people and appear “meaner” than he actually is.

however, he's also the type to feel the desire to redeem himself if he feels like he hurt you. let's say he made an insensitive joke to you in the flow of the moment; it's highly likely for him to feel genuinely sorry about it in retrospect, and perhaps follow it up with a compliment to even things out and make you feel better again. i do think he can blame himself much more than what meets the eye, and easily feels plenty of regret about his occasionally impulsive behavior. (as a fellow sag mercury with the natural talent to accidentally offend people but a harmony-loving libra mars, i relate to this sooo bad lol)

- sunghoon can deal with much more negavity inside of him than you'd think, but rarely grants his pent up frustrations, disappointments, regrets or grudges a healthy outlet. he doesn't enjoy the intensity of his mind, and can often prefer either brushing personal and heavy topics off or glossing over them, because he doesn't like to lay his soul bare in that manner. he's a very complex guy in fact, but most people wouldn't know. he doesn't grant them the chance to even go there in the first place. he prefers staying lighthearted, easygoing and more superficial with most people.

he can easily feel inclined to believe that his own problems aren't anyone else's burdens to carry, and seems very used to just dealing with his issues on his own. for this reason, he can have the tendency to be kinda “meh” about other people as well, if they're not very close to him. like “i just don't need you to care about my business, so please don't expect me to”

good luck trying to have sunghoon admit he needs someone's help; he simply won't. example, let's say he's clearly having a difficult time and seems upset; he just won't like you trying to get him to talk about what's wrong if he already brushed the subject aside. the further you try to push him or dig, the more defensive and annoyed he'd probably get.

i do see him being immensely protective over keeping his own inner peace intact. if sunghoon wants to be alone; just.. leave him alone. best believe, he will not like you disturbing him.

i don't think sunghoon ever truly heals from his wounds, in both; emotional or physical pain. i see him struggling a lot to let himself rest and take a break. he's prone to continuously pushing himself over the edge, all the time. he never feels like it's enough and can have problems setting boundaries for himself in this regard.

in physical terms, he's prone to ignoring signs of bodily discomfort or pain and pushing through it till the very end. (very mars in scorpio..)

in emotional terms, rather than actively confronting his feelings and working on processing them, he has the tendency to either bury himself in work, isolate himself, or find other ways to keep busy, in order to distract and escape the overwhelming turbulance inside of him. i can see this resulting in a lot of unprocessed, stalled and rationalized emotions.

he doesn't always express his distaste, and seldomly brings up the way he genuinely feels about certain things, because he sincerely doesn't like to cause conflict; just for his pent up frustration to come out bubbling like lava once you manage to actually provoke or trigger him.

i absolutely see sunghoon having a darker and scarier side. although it usually only comes out once he feels threatened in a way; i can see it being very jarring to some people, since he normally gives off such an agreeable vibe to everyone. like fool him once, fool him twice (although he's more the type to play fool instead of actually being fooled) it's unlikely he'll play anyone's game a third time. you will see a different side to the usually kind, laidback and peaceful man you've known till now if you manage to push his buttons deep enough.