#who says you cant make ANY situation about a ship???

[purpleshadow-star]

Neil and Andrew as male honey bees that have been kicked out of their hives for the winter, and they find each other and decide to stay together, flying around together and keeping each other company for the short remainder of their lives.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Conspiratorialism and the epistemological crisis

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me next weekend (Mar 30/31) in ANAHEIM at WONDERCON, then in Boston with Randall "XKCD" Munroe! (Apr 11), then Providence (Apr 12), and beyond!

Last year, Ed Pierson was supposed to fly from Seattle to New Jersey on Alaska Airlines. He boarded his flight, but then he had an urgent discussion with the flight attendant, explaining that as a former senior Boeing engineer, he'd specifically requested that flight because the aircraft wasn't a 737 Max:

https://www.cnn.com/travel/boeing-737-max-passenger-boycott/index.html

But for operational reasons, Alaska had switched out the equipment on the flight and there he was on a 737 Max, about to travel cross-continent, and he didn't feel safe doing so. He demanded to be let off the flight. His bags were offloaded and he walked back up the jetbridge after telling the spooked flight attendant, "I can’t go into detail right now, but I wasn’t planning on flying the Max, and I want to get off the plane."

Boeing, of course, is a flying disaster that was years in the making. Its planes have been falling out of the sky since 2019. Floods of whistleblowers have come forward to say its aircraft are unsafe. Pierson's not the only Boeing employee to state – both on and off the record – that he wouldn't fly on a specific model of Boeing aircraft, or, in some cases any recent Boeing aircraft:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/22/anything-that-cant-go-on-forever/#will-eventually-stop

And yet, for years, Boeing's regulators have allowed the company to keep turning out planes that keep turning out lemons. This is a pretty frightening situation, to say the least. I'm not an aerospace engineer, I'm not an aircraft safety inspector, but every time I book a flight, I have to make a decision about whether to trust Boeing's assurances that I can safely board one of its planes without dying.

In an ideal world, I wouldn't even have to think about this. I'd be able to trust that publicly accountable regulators were on the job, making sure that airplanes were airworthy. "Caveat emptor" is no way to run a civilian aviation system.

But even though I don't have the specialized expertise needed to assess the airworthiness of Boeing planes, I do have the much more general expertise needed to assess the trustworthiness of Boeing's regulator. The FAA has spent years deferring to Boeing, allowing it to self-certify that its aircraft were safe. Even when these assurances led to the death of hundreds of people, the FAA continued to allow Boeing to mark its own homework:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8oCilY4szc

What's more, the FAA boss who presided over those hundreds of deaths was an ex-Boeing lobbyist, whom Trump subsequently appointed to run Boeing's oversight. He's not the only ex-insider who ended up a regulator, and there's plenty of ex-regulators now on Boeing's payroll:

https://therevolvingdoorproject.org/boeing-debacle-shows-need-to-investigate-trump-era-corruption/

You don't have to be an aviation expert to understand that companies have conflicts of interest when it comes to certifying their own products. "Market forces" aren't going to keep Boeing from shipping defective products, because the company's top brass are more worried about cashing out with this quarter's massive stock buybacks than they are about their successors' ability to manage the PR storm or Congressional hearings after their greed kills hundreds and hundreds of people.

You also don't have to be an aviation expert to understand that these conflicts persist even when a Boeing insider leaves the company to work for its regulators, or vice-versa. A regulator who anticipates a giant signing bonus from Boeing after their term in office, or a an ex-Boeing exec who holds millions in Boeing stock has an irreconcilable conflict of interest that will make it very hard – perhaps impossible – for them to hold the company to account when it trades safety for profit.

It's not just Boeing customers who feel justifiably anxious about trusting a system with such obvious conflicts of interest: Boeing's own executives, lobbyists and lawyers also refuse to participate in similarly flawed systems of oversight and conflict resolution. If Boeing was sued by its shareholders and the judge was also a pissed off Boeing shareholder, they would demand a recusal. If Boeing was looking for outside counsel to represent it in a liability suit brought by the family of one of its murder victims, they wouldn't hire the firm that was suing them – not even if that firm promised to be fair. If a Boeing executive's spouse sued for divorce, that exec wouldn't use the same lawyer as their soon-to-be-ex.

Sure, it takes specialized knowledge and training to be a lawyer, a judge, or an aircraft safety inspector. But anyone can look at the system those experts work in and spot its glaring defects. In other words, while acquiring expertise is hard, it's much easier to spot weaknesses in the process by which that expertise affects the world around us.

And therein lies the problem: aviation isn't the only technically complex, potentially lethal, and utterly, obviously untrustworthy system we all have to navigate. How about the building safety codes that governed the structure you're in right now? Plenty of people have blithely assumed that structural engineers carefully designed those standards, and that these standards were diligently upheld, only to discover in tragic, ghastly ways that this was wrong:

https://www.bbc.com/news/64568826

There are dozens – hundreds! – of life-or-death, highly technical questions you have to resolve every day just to survive. Should you trust the antilock braking firmware in your car? How about the food hygiene rules in the factories that produced the food in your shopping cart? Or the kitchen that made the pizza that was just delivered? Is your kid's school teaching them well, or will they grow up to be ignoramuses and thus economic roadkill?

Hell, even if I never get into another Boeing aircraft, I live in the approach path for Burbank airport, where Southwest lands 50+ Boeing flights every day. How can I be sure that the next Boeing 737 Max that falls out of the sky won't land on my roof?

This is the epistemological crisis we're living through today. Epistemology is the process by which we know things. The whole point of a transparent, democratically accountable process for expert technical deliberation is to resolve the epistemological challenge of making good choices about all of these life-or-death questions. Even the smartest person among us can't learn to evaluate all those questions, but we can all look at the process by which these questions are answered and draw conclusions about its soundness.

Is the process public? Are the people in charge of it forthright? Do they have conflicts of interest, and, if so, do they sit out any decision that gives even the appearance of impropriety? If new evidence comes to light – like, say, a horrific disaster – is there a way to re-open the process and change the rules?

The actual technical details might be a black box for us, opaque and indecipherable. But the box itself can be easily observed: is it made of sturdy material? Does it have sharp corners and clean lines? Or is it flimsy, irregular and torn? We don't have to know anything about the box's contents to conclude that we don't trust the box.

For example: we may not be experts in chemical engineering or water safety, but we can tell when a regulator is on the ball on these issues. Back in 2019, the West Virginia Department of Environmental Protection sought comment on its water safety regs. Dow Chemical – the largest corporation in the state's largest industry – filed comments arguing that WV should have lower standards for chemical contamination in its drinking water.

Now, I'm perfectly prepared to believe that there are safe levels of chemical runoff in the water supply. There's a lot of water in the water supply, after all, and "the dose makes the poison." What's more, I use the products whose manufacture results in that chemical waste. I want them to be made safely, but I do want them to be made – for one thing, the next time I have surgery, I want the anesthesiologist to start an IV with fresh, sterile plastic tubing.

And I'm not a chemist, let alone a water chemist. Neither am I a toxicologist. There are aspects of this debate I am totally unqualified to assess. Nevertheless, I think the WV process was a bad one, and here's why:

https://www.wvma.com/press/wvma-news/4244-wvma-statement-on-human-health-criteria-development

That's Dow's comment to the regulator (as proffered by its mouthpiece, the WV Manufacturers' Association, which it dominates). In that comment, Dow argues that West Virginians safely can absorb more poison than other Americans, because the people of West Virginia are fatter than other Americans, and so they have more tissue and thus a better ratio of poison to person than the typical American. But they don't stop there! They also say that West Virginians don't drink as much water as their out-of-state cousins, preferring to drink beer instead, so even if their water is more toxic, they'll be drinking less of it:

https://washingtonmonthly.com/2019/03/14/the-real-elitists-looking-down-on-trump-voters/

Even without any expertise in toxicology or water chemistry, I can tell that these are bullshit answers. The fact that the WV regulator accepted these comments tells me that they're not a good regulator. I was in WV last year to give a talk, and I didn't drink the tap water.

It's totally reasonable for non-experts to reject the conclusions of experts when the process by which those experts resolve their disagreements is obviously corrupt and irredeemably flawed. But some refusals carry higher costs – both for the refuseniks and the people around them – than my switching to bottled water when I was in Charleston.

Take vaccine denial (or "hesitancy"). Many people greeted the advent of an extremely rapid, high-tech covid vaccine with dread and mistrust. They argued that the pharma industry was dominated by corrupt, greedy corporations that routinely put their profits ahead of the public's safety, and that regulators, in Big Pharma's pocket, let them get away with mass murder.

The thing is, all that is true. Look, I've had five covid vaccinations, but not because I trust the pharma industry. I've had direct experience of how pharma sacrifices safety on greed's altar, and narrowly avoided harm myself. I have had chronic pain problems my whole life, and they've gotten worse every year. When my daughter was on the way, I decided this was going to get in the way of my ability to parent – I wanted to be able to carry her for long stretches! – and so I started aggressively pursuing the pain treatments I'd given up on many years before.

My journey led me to many specialists – physios, dieticians, rehab specialists, neurologists, surgeons – and I tried many, many therapies. Luckily, my wife had private insurance – we were in the UK then – and I could go to just about any doctor that seemed promising. That's how I found myself in the offices of a Harley Street quack, a prominent pain specialist, who had great news for me: it turned out that opioids were way safer than had previously been thought, and I could just take opioids every day and night for the rest of my life without any serious risk of addiction. It would be fine.

This sounded wrong to me. I'd lost several friends to overdoses, and watched others spiral into miserable lives as they struggled with addiction. So I "did my own research." Despite not having a background in chemistry, biology, neurology or pharmacology, I struggled through papers and read commentary and came to the conclusion that opioids weren't safe at all. Rather, corrupt billionaire pharma owners like the Sackler family had colluded with their regulators to risk the lives of millions by pushing falsified research that was finding publication in some of the most respected, peer-reviewed journals in the world.

I became an opioid denier, in other words.

I decided, based on my own research, that the experts were wrong, and that they were wrong for corrupt reasons, and that I couldn't trust their advice.

When anti-vaxxers decried the covid vaccines, they said things that were – in form at least – indistinguishable from the things I'd been saying 15 years earlier, when I decided to ignore my doctor's advice and throw away my medication on the grounds that it would probably harm me.

For me, faith in vaccines didn't come from a broad, newfound trust in the pharmaceutical system: rather, I judged that there was so much scrutiny on these new medications that it would overwhelm even pharma's ability to corruptly continue to sell a medication that they secretly knew to be harmful, as they'd done so many times before:

https://www.npr.org/2007/11/10/5470430/timeline-the-rise-and-fall-of-vioxx

But many of my peers had a different take on anti-vaxxers: for these friends and colleagues, anti-vaxxers were being foolish. Surprisingly, these people I'd long felt myself in broad agreement with began to defend the pharmaceutical system and its regulators. Once they saw that anti-vaxx was a wedge issue championed by right-wing culture war shitheads, they became not just pro-vaccine, but pro-pharma.

There's a name for this phenomenon: "schismogenesis." That's when you decide how you feel about an issue based on who supports it. Think of self-described "progressives" who became cheerleaders for the America's cruel, ruthless and lawless "intelligence community" when it seemed that US spooks were bent on Trump's ouster:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/12/18/schizmogenesis/

The fact that the FBI didn't like Trump didn't make them allies of progressive causes. This was and is the same entity that (among other things) tried to blackmail Martin Luther King, Jr into killing himself:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FBI%E2%80%93King_suicide_letter

But schismogenesis isn't merely a reactionary way of flip-flopping on issues based on reflexive enmity. It's actually a reasonable epistemological tactic: in a world where there are more issues you need to be clear on than you can possibly inform yourself about, you need some shortcuts. One shortcut – a shortcut that's failing – is to say, "Well, I'll provisionally believe whatever the expert system tells me is true." Another shortcut is, "I will provisionally disbelieve in whatever the people I know to act in bad faith are saying is true." That is, "schismogenesis."

Schismogenesis isn't a great tactic. It would be far better if we had a set of institutions we could all largely trust – if the black boxes where expert debate took place were sturdy, rectilinear and sharp-cornered.

But they're not. They're just not. Our regulatory process sucks. Corporate concentration makes it trivial for cartels to capture their regulators and steer them to conclusions that benefit corporate shareholders even if that means visiting enormous harm – even mass death – on the public:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/05/regulatory-capture/

No one hates Big Tech more than I do, but many of my co-belligerents in the war on Big Tech believe that the rise of conspiratorialism can be laid at tech platforms' feet. They say that Big Tech boasts of how good they are at algorithmically manipulating our beliefs, and attribute Qanons, flat earthers, and other outlandish conspiratorial cults to the misuse off those algorithms.

"We built a Big Data mind-control ray" is one of those extraordinary claims that requires extraordinary evidence. But the evidence for Big Tech's persuasion machines is very poor: mostly, it consists of tech platforms' own boasts to potential investors and customers for their advertising products. "We can change peoples' minds" has long been the boast of advertising companies, and it's clear that they can change the minds of customers for advertising.

Think of department store mogul John Wanamaker, who famously said "Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don't know which half." Today – thanks to commercial surveillance – we know that the true proportion of wasted advertising spending is more like 99.9%. Advertising agencies may be really good at convincing John Wanamaker and his successors, through prolonged, personal, intense selling – but that doesn't mean they're able to sell so efficiently to the rest of us with mass banner ads or spambots:

http://pluralistic.net/HowToDestroySurveillanceCapitalism

In other words, the fact that Facebook claims it is really good at persuasion doesn't mean that it's true. Just like the AI companies who claim their chatbots can do your job: they are much better at convincing your boss (who is insatiably horny for firing workers) than they are at actually producing an algorithm that can replace you. What's more, their profitability relies far more on convincing a rich, credulous business executive that their product works than it does on actually delivering a working product.

Now, I do think that Facebook and other tech giants play an important role in the rise of conspiratorial beliefs. However, that role isn't using algorithms to persuade people to mistrust our institutions. Rather Big Tech – like other corporate cartels – has so corrupted our regulatory system that they make trusting our institutions irrational.

Think of federal privacy law. The last time the US got a new federal consumer privacy law was in 1988, when Congress passed the Video Privacy Protection Act, a law that prohibits video store clerks from leaking your VHS rental history:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2008/07/why-vppa-protects-youtube-and-viacom-employees

It's been a minute. There are very obvious privacy concerns haunting Americans, related to those tech giants, and yet the closest Congress can come to doing something about it is to attempt the forced sale of the sole Chinese tech giant with a US footprint to a US company, to ensure that its rampant privacy violations are conducted by our fellow Americans, and to force Chinese spies to buy their surveillance data on millions of Americans in the lawless, reckless swamp of US data-brokerages:

https://www.npr.org/2024/03/14/1238435508/tiktok-ban-bill-congress-china

For millions of Americans – especially younger Americans – the failure to pass (or even introduce!) a federal privacy law proves that our institutions can't be trusted. They're right:

https://www.tiktok.com/@pearlmania500/video/7345961470548512043

Occam's Razor cautions us to seek the simplest explanation for the phenomena we see in the world around us. There's a much simpler explanation for why people believe conspiracy theories they encounter online than the idea that the one time Facebook is telling the truth is when they're boasting about how well their products work – especially given the undeniable fact that everyone else who ever claimed to have perfected mind-control was a fantasist or a liar, from Rasputin to MK-ULTRA to pick-up artists.

Maybe people believe in conspiracy theories because they have hundreds of life-or-death decisions to make every day, and the institutions that are supposed to make that possible keep proving that they can't be trusted. Nevertheless, those decisions have to be made, and so something needs to fill the epistemological void left by the manifest unsoundness of the black box where the decisions get made.

For many people – millions – the thing that fills the black box is conspiracy fantasies. It's true that tech makes finding these conspiracy fantasies easier than ever, and it's true that tech makes forming communities of conspiratorial belief easier, too. But the vulnerability to conspiratorialism that algorithms identify and target people based on isn't a function of Big Data. It's a function of corruption – of life in a world in which real conspiracies (to steal your wages, or let rich people escape the consequences of their crimes, or sacrifice your safety to protect large firms' profits) are everywhere.

Progressives – which is to say, the coalition of liberals and leftists, in which liberals are the senior partners and spokespeople who control the Overton Window – used to identify and decry these conspiracies. But as right wing "populists" declared their opposition to these conspiracies – when Trump damned free trade and the mainstream media as tools of the ruling class – progressives leaned into schismogenesis and declared their vocal support for these old enemies of progress.

This is the crux of Naomi Klein's brilliant 2023 book Doppelganger: that as the progressive coalition started supporting these unworthy and broken institutions, the right spun up "mirror world" versions of their critique, distorted versions that focus on scapegoating vulnerable groups rather than fighting unworthy institutions:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/05/not-that-naomi/#if-the-naomi-be-klein-youre-doing-just-fine

This is a long tradition in politics: hundreds of years ago, some leftists branded antisemitism "the socialism of fools." Rather than condemning the system's embrace of the finance sector and its wealthy beneficiaries, anti-semites blame a disfavored group of people – people who are just as likely as anyone to suffer under the system:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisemitism_is_the_socialism_of_fools

It's an ugly, shallow, cartoon version of socialism's measured and comprehensive analysis of how the class system actually works and why it's so harmful to everyone except a tiny elite. Literally cartoonish: the shadow-world version of socialism co-opts and simplifies the iconography of class struggle. And schismogenesis – "if the right likes this, I don't" – sends "progressive" scolds after anyone who dares to criticize finance as the crux of our world's problems as popularizing "antisemetic dog-whistles."

This is the problem with "horseshoe theory" – the idea that the far right and the far left bend all the way around to meet each other:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/26/horsehoe-crab/#substantive-disagreement

When the right criticizes pharma companies, they tell us to "do our own research" (e.g. ignore the systemic problems of people being forced to work under dangerous conditions during a pandemic while individually assessing conflicting claims about vaccine safety, ideally landing on buying "supplements" from a grifter). When the left criticizes pharma, it's to argue for universal access to medicine and vigorous public oversight of pharma companies. These aren't the same thing:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/25/the-other-shoe-drops/#quid-pro-quo

Long before opportunistic right wing politicians realized they could get mileage out of pointing at the terrifying epistemological crisis of trying to make good choices in an age of institutions that can't be trusted, the left was sounding the alarm. Conspiratorialism – the fracturing of our shared reality – is a serious problem, weakening our ability to respond effectively to endless disasters of the polycrisis.

But by blaming the problem of conspiratorialism on the credulity of believers (rather than the deserved disrepute of the institutions they have lost faith in) we adopt the logic of the right: "conspiratorialism is a problem of individuals believing wrong things," rather than "a system that makes wrong explanations credible – and a schismogenic insistence that these institutions are sound and trustworthy."

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/25/black-boxes/#when-you-know-you-know

Image: Nuclear Regulatory Commission (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/nrcgov/15993154185/

meanwell-packaging.co.uk https://www.flickr.com/photos/195311218@N08/52159853896

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

[melkyt]

Do you ever think how many times Law has lost everything? How often he holds something dear only for it to slip through his fingers.

His parents, his sister, his classmates, Cora, his crew, the polar tang. It feels like a never-ending list. Twice, he lost his home. So, Law is cautious. He is not going to give fate another reason to take something from him. It doesn't matter that his mood lifts anytime he even thinks about Luffy, anytime he hears news that he is out there causing chaos for anyone and everyone.

So when Bepo comes with a message from Nami and the strawhats, that they are going to be stopping by the island not far from where Law is, and with an offer to join them on the last leg of the journey, he pushes down every want and desire to say yes and tells Bepo to refuse.

Luffy when Nami passes on that infromation pouts, and decides that Traffy is just being dumb and that he wants to join them, at the least Bepo does, and he is friends with Nami, they talk navigator stuff alot.

So he decides to redirect their ship a little before going for Elbaf, so they can fetch Law. They still have an alliance! So duh they are gonna help Law till he gets a new ship.

Law is grouchy about it, he cant use his power, and his chronic pain is flaring up more than usual, combining with the injuries from the fight.

Luffy doesnt stop pestering him, trying to get to the reason why Traffy is lying to himself. Like yeah if he didnt want to go thats fine, but its obvious he does

Eventually, Law snaps that everyone who is anywhere near him dies or gets hurt, Luffy is going to fail because of him! He cant hold the future pirate king back, the sun god that his town worshipped even on their death beds. He cant do it, he cant let his fucked up destiny interfere with Luffy's bright future. Law yells that he is cursed and everyone should stay away from him. "Take Bepo and go. Leave me"

"Nuh uh" Luffy rolls his eyes with a snort. He paves his own path, even if Traffy's destiny shmestiny gets in the way, they will just fight it, thats why they are strong. Luffy nodding, he likes Traffy, and he's not scared of any curse.

Law calls Luffy a stubborn idiot but holds on to the idea.

Luffy pouts and decides to come up with a way to kidnap Law with Bepo's help. And they do, Law wakes up on their ship hours from shore. He grumbles that he should have expected this.

As they sail, things come up that Law considers his curse, as they never had this much chaos on the polar tang.

But Luffy just laughs, the 'curse' is just a normal tuesday for the strawhats, it better step it up and give them a fun enemy to fight.

Law sighs, but it makes him feel better, and as they travel and survive through anything, Law starts to relax, hope returning bit by bit as the strawhats, and Luffy treat him like family.

Luffy always smiles in any situation, and Law slowly relaxes, enough that he starts to explore and accept his feelings for Luffy, though it will be well after they reach Laughtale and survive that he decides to act on them.

[redriotinggg]

You know what I need? Strawhats raising a child, could be shippy or not, but I need them finding a baby and Luffy being like "I WANNA KEEP IT! How hard can it be to raise a child?" (Famous last words) This is less about wanting to be a father and more about thinking about this as another great adventure and experience for Luffy (besides if its a situation like finding a baby in a treasure chest they cant exactly leave it... tho I imagine Nami seeing Luffy with a baby in arms and being like "wtf, where did you get that???" Luffy: "I found it in a treasure chest :)" Nami: "WELL PUT IT BACK ITS NOT YOURS!")

Of course raising a baby in a pirate ship is bound to be dangerous, so most of the crew is like "lets find it a good family in the next island" so maybe it's more of a Tokyo Godfathers situation.

Who are the better parents? Who absolutely suck at parenting but want to help regardless? Are any of them like "I absolutely don't want any part in this" but end up being roped in regardless and end up getting attached to the child? Does the child end up being raised by Strawhats or they get them to a nice family somewhere safe?

If you know of any fanfics that are like this (if they're gen/Nakamaship the better) please reccomend them to me I'm in desperate need to see that, child raised by a village trope my beloved

Pffttt a baby should definitely NOT be aboard the Sunny but if it happened I can imagine that yes, Luffy found a baby in a treasure chest and by the time they realized what happened, they were already on the open water headed to the next island.

However, the first thought that came to my head was that Zoro was sleeping while guarding the ship and someone managed to dump the baby onboard. He wakes up and there’s a baby—just under a year old—sitting across from him, fist in their mouth and a note on their forehead that says, “YOUR PROBLEM NOW”. There’s nothing left for him to do other than wait and pray that the kid doesn't start crying or pooping.

The rest of the crew comes back like Uhhhh Zoro???? When did you give birth????? To which he yells that he didn't, you idiots!

Now they don't know what to do because they can't bring a baby on the seas in the New World, but the island they're docked at wasn't very welcoming and likely wouldn't care about an orphaned child.

Luffy makes the decision easily--they'll bring the baby with them and they'll be an honourary Straw Hat! If they get their adventure started now, the baby will be at a huge advantage when they become a pirate when they grow up. Raising a baby must be easy if so many people do it! But it doesn't take long for the others to convince him that keeping a baby abroad for an extended period isn't a good idea, so they decide to keep the baby until they can find them a good home.

Luffy is not so surprisingly great with the kid, although he's not allowed to be left alone with them. The crew freaked out when they found him and the baby asleep on the head of the Sunny. It would've been a sweet scene if they both weren't at risk of falling and drowning to death. If the baby starts crying and Luffy can't get them to stop in 2 seconds, he dumps them off to the nearest crewmate--he usually deals with crying kids by beating them up, but the baby's too young for that. Plus, the noise really hurts his ears!

Nami canonically loves kids and babies!! She doesn’t mind taking care of the baby until they can find somewhere safe for them. Except this baby is getting on her damn nerves because, for some reason, they don’t like Nami. At all. Every time she tries to hold them, they cry bloody murder. To add insult to injury, the baby absolutely loves Zoro, who still wants nothing to do with the baby. But she is nothing if not stubborn, and eventually, she and the baby are thick as thieves.

The baby loves Usopp because he’s so silly! He makes the baby laugh by playing peekaboo and he even whips up little toys for them to play with. He flails dramatically when the baby grabs his nose or pulls his hair, both of them laughing without a care in the world.

The baby is too young to be scared of Brook, so they just laugh as he dances and sings nursery rhymes from all over the four seas. His lullabies are very effective in calming the baby's crying fits or getting them to sleep.

Sanji prefers dealing with children when they’re old enough to speak, but he’s not immune to the effects of an adorable baby. If it’s a girl she gets the absolute princess treatment, complete with baby talk and compliments of how cute she is. A boy baby gets his hair gently ruffled. Either way, Sanji happily admires Robin sitting with a baby in her lap before he’s off to puree some fruits and veggies.

Chopper loves babies and thinks this one is so cute!! But he’s embarrassed by how jealous he is of all the attention the baby is getting. He can’t help it! He’s used to being the one taking naps in Zoro’s lap and being fawned over by Robin. He’s happy to have the baby with them, but he wishes he got some more attention, too.

Jimbei and Franky don’t dislike babies per se, but they’re just so small and fragile compared to them. They mostly watch the other crewmates interact with the baby from the sidelines.

Franky’s nerves aren’t helped as Robin keeps coming up to him while holding the baby and talking about how cute they are and how parenthood is such a privilege, don't you think, Franky? She manages to convince Franky to hold the baby and when he does, he bursts into tears. Overwhelmed, he passes the baby off to the closest person, who happens to be Jimbei, whose eyes also fill with happy tears when the baby snuggles up to him. Both of them stop keeping their distance after that.

Robin reads the baby bedtime stories! But the crew have also walked by and overheard her reading books about death, disease, and war. She speaks to the baby in all of the languages she knows and tells them all the secrets she's learned. It's too bad the baby is too young to retain all that knowledge, but she's more than happy to share anyway.

Zoro doesn't like kids in general, but kids love him, including this baby. The rest of the crew find it hilarious how awkward he is with the baby. You'd think he'd be used to holding a small being considering how often he carries Chopper around, but no, he's hopeless. Zoro is teased relentlessly for the way he talks to the baby. He talks to them like a grown adult and it's both endearing and ridiculous.

Absolutely nobody wants to change dirty diapers. There are physical altercations, manipulation tactics, and an abundance of tricks used as each Straw Hat tries to avoid diaper duty. (Usopp uses dirty diapers as canon fodder and ammo when they run into trouble on the water.)

Most, if not all, of the Straw Hats have mommy and/or daddy issues, so raising this baby gives them all a chance to heal, whether they realize it or not. It also gives the crew an excuse for group cuddles, not that they ever needed it.

The crew have all grown very attached to the baby by the time they reach a safe place with people they trust to raise them. A few crewmates (Usopp, Nami, Robin, Brook) want to keep the baby around--it's too cruel to leave them, now! But Luffy has made his decision. It's too dangerous for the baby out on the seas of the New World. But once they've found the One Piece they'll be back to visit.

Usopp made the baby a teddy bear and dressed it as Luffy, complete with a straw hat. Sewn to the red fabric of the hat is a note written by the crew, a photo of them all, and a piece of Luffy's vivre card. If the baby grows up and ever wants to come sailing with them, all they have to do is ask.

--

AAAHHH this was so fun omg!! I love babies sm and there'd be so many antics if a baby was on the Sunny. I doubt I'd ever write a fic myself though, but I'd be happy to think up more hcs in another ask :)

I don't know of any nakamaship fics like this, so if anyone does please link it in the comments. But! KazimaKuwabara has this FANTASTIC fic feat. the Straw Hats taking care of their de-aged nakama. I've read it so many times, it's great.

Thank you for the ask! Keep em coming y'all, I live for this.

[mentallhealthmatters]

Ngl i do NOT vibe woth how ranboo just bounces from one social group to the next. Its hard to keep up with his who ever his current social group is when he keeps seemingly ditching old friends for new ones.

Crumb and Tubbo? Havent heard word on them and their status with Ranboo in ages. I remember he used to collab a lot with them both the dropped them both like stale moldy bread.

Now its Aimsey this and Aimsey that. And im sitting here just counting the days before he ditches aimsey too, cause you KNOW its gonna happen sooner or later especially given how its not a one off thing. Its a fucking patturn of behavior, and from an outside specific i cant fathom why?

Cause Tubbo and Crumb werent fucking problamatic. Tubbo, sure, maybe they didnt see wye to eye and expressed differences on the shipping issue behind the scene. Not my issue, wven if Ranboo still talks postively

Mean while aimsey is trying to avoid talking about Beau's situation and tried to lie about knowing or having any association with Harry. Which is said to see Aimsey voice wanting support all victims but lie and avoid their way out of supporting a victim because hes in the abusers friend circle behind the scenes.

AND Aimsey still never apologied for wanting to violently hate crime (running over them with her car) bisexuals who want to claim lesbian, but like as a joke, which is fucking gross. Lesbian is queer attarction to woman, and yeah, bisexuals can claim that if they want too, and if her beef is because she thinks bisexual ALWAYS means some atractiom to men, its kinda biphobic of her to assume so, given other genders besides men exist, and multigender and genderfluid lesbians exist? Its very problmaric take Aimseys never apologized for.

Either way, Aimsey is just extremely toxic id say, and i am kinda bummed Ranboo would throw away his nontoxic friends who were more queer friendly for a open terf whos quick to put down abusers unless theyre friends with that abuser. What a fake feminist.

I think Ranboo should have looked into joining QSMP and trying to make new friends or go back doing stuff with Crumb.

Cause if Aimsey is spouting anti bi and lesbian radfem terf shit, i dont want to support Ranboo anymore, especially because for all i know, Ranboo thinks the same, and is also spouting terf and rad fem stuff. Both concepts are generally not queer friendly despite claims that they are, and see ranboo associate himself with such people makes him suddenly a lot queer friendly.

Yes, queer people can be not so queer friendly. Infighting exists.

[theoddest1]

i strongly feel like the godawful tattoo thing is the result of people woobifying val and not taking his role as a serial r*pist seriously. yeah he's fictional but lets not forget that all this "its just fiction bs" leads to a fucking victim being shipped their r*pist, the r*pist being defended and simped after, and played down. great. any person with more than a braincell would immediately see what the issue is. this shit reminds me of amercian horror story season 1 where they glorified the school shooter to be sexy and quirky or how glorified self harm was. it stuck with me, since i was a pre-teen and depressed when i saw this and i thought it was edgy and cool and never saw an issue with it since that was how it was portrayed. this shit makes my skin crawl.

imagine being in public and a stranger asks about the tattoo- and obviously you would only tell them the show they're from and what the character's name is, and not that their only character trait is being a huge abuser and assaulter, but imagine being a person with no clue about hazbin, then looking up the character and then seeing what he really is. i think i'd be horrified. i'd stay 300 yards away from that person. you can like a deranged and truly evil/irredeemable character, but there is a limit- and val is the most one-dimensional character to ever exist, since being a r*pist and a giant manbaby are his ONLY character traits, there is literally nothing else to his character and person. even your average 80's slasher has more depth and complexity.

i cant fucking take this anymore. holy hell.

CW////NON-CON SHIPS

And I have even sadder news for you Anon.

Found this all on their acc. (Sorry if quality ends up being trash, tumblr kinda makes my pics look oof)

And on top of all of that, they have the gall to be pissy that folks find Val, a straight rapist, worse than a woman who was ALSO forced into an arranged marriage that they had no say in and that those who SIMP and WOOBIFY him are in the utter wrong. They even try to make it seem like Stella and Stolas still have sex when I believe Stella states that she's happy an egg fell outta her so that she can stop wanting to have sex with him. She's no saint, but to make the argument that it's hypocritical to like or find Stella interesting when the situations VASTLY differ(One is an implied prolific raoist, the other is a woman trapped in a life she never fucking wanted and raised in a possible terrible environment) is EXTREMELY tone deaf and shows a lack of critical thinking skills. This is it, guys! This do be the Hazbin Hotel Fandom.

[eyesmadeofpearls]

Since it's not 2020-21 anymore i feel there's one thing i have to say to you all (Prepare for a yap session, and please remember that just because something isn't canon doesn't mean you cant ship it! please, continue to ship as i don't think anyone has a problem with it! :) This is just for people who seriously believe that any of its going to be put into the show and have went as far as harassing horikoshi, so if you find yourself getting angry with my words, then you've probably got a guilty conscious)

The bakudeku shippers who harassed the author and put him under social pressure have completely ruined the series. 🤗

Saying that he "doesn't understand English so he can't be affected by what fans say 🥺" is extremely rude and sooo fucking annoying of you. Of course bro knows English, he kind of has to?? To further my point i think it's pretty well known that the people of Japan are very particular about how others perceive them, they definitely care more than Americans do, that's for sure. To add onto my point above, the social culture over there is extremely lawful and strict, so stepping out of the norm can be scary. Crossing that unspoken line has created problems for people in the past and it's why there's a huge mental health epidemic over there. If you can imagine a handful of people over there harming themselves and becoming shut ins because of that pressure from people in their country, then imagine being a huge artist and show maker in that situation. Except.. It's not just half of Japan who's got their eye on him anymore, it's half of America too now. That is more than 'just' pressure especially when you know how die hard fans can really be.

I firmly believe that in his case he opted not to make any ships canon because he didn't want to anger bakudeku shippers. All of his official art both out of his work career (drawing just for fun) and in his work career (the manga and show) have been set up to ship uraraka and izuku. People seem to have forgotten that although a majority of the show watchers from America are teen girls like me, this show is for teen boys living in Japan because it's shonen. In japan it's also more socially acceptable to be straight and that's why it took so long for gay marriage to be legalized. So no, i don't believe that the horikoshi would be making a boy love anime and manga about teenage heroes in training. Notice how the plot doesn't focus on who he's in love with but it's been very clear he has a crush on uraraka? Yeah, that's what Shonen is. It's more plot than inner life things. It's like dragon ball z. Yeah, goku's got a love interest but guys aren't worried about that. Still, it's cool to see he's got a girlfriend since that's what's inspiring to teen boys i guess. I also dislike fans treatment of "feminine" acting guys. Midoriya isn't feminine, you're just an American and so am i, but at least i know that the way they raise boys over there vs here is wildly different. Our boys are quite frankly super disrespectful, loud, and ignorant as teens. The boys over there have to be respectful, they have to follow the rules, they can't afford to be loud, and their main focus is on being an adult and getting a job. Though i guess their parents strictness no matter how hard they try doesn't stop them from being rowdy after school. It's nothing compared to how guys over here are rowdy though. Because guys over there don't sit in the back of your class making fake moaning noises or begin to flip tables and scream loudly. Think of Midoriya like spiderman, he's just easily flustered, kind, and respectful but not "feminine" or gay.

Also, telling fans they watched the show with their eyes closed just because we acknowledged midoriya wouldn't get with his bully and rival is crazy work.. "He apologized!!'' if a murderer apologized, would you forgive them?? Yeah, he apologized and changed, but that doesn't mean its all okay now. Bro literally told him to jump off a roof, burned the notebook he values the most, and then proceeded to throw it in the water causing all of his time and effort to be practically useless. Not to mention he beat him to the point of real injuries and continued to be a right dick even after "apologizing". (An apology means nothing if you don't actually try to change and be a better person.) And no, insulting someone on purpose isn't romance worthy material. Unless you specify you're joking then you have brain damage for thinking anyone in their right mind would date someone who constantly calls them a nutsack face, an idiot, a dumbass, a loser, pathetic, a nerd, and genuinely believes that you should be below them in every way unless they've got a twisted degrading kink. And also, sacrificing himself for Midoriya is just plot. Everyone at one point has sacrificed themselves for him because he's the main character, the entire point of them trying to fight for him before he does anything is to weaken the enemies so that Midoriya can go in and finish them off after they beat the villains to near death. They all work towards protecting his future and upping his chances to defeat their common enemy and the man who raised villain motivation by creating more of them. (AFO) So yeah, no, it's not romantical at all that Bakugo wants to be heroic and give the only person who can defeat AFO a fighting chance. Midoriya has gotten hurt trying to protect everyone, uraraka included. But now that you know this would you say to my face that he's got feelings for her too? Or all of his friends? No, you wouldn't. Because that's just what a hero does.

Him and uraraka were meant to be a slow build up, people keep saying "well he always blushes!" yeah, but never at other men. It's been only women who can make his face entirely red like that. In japan, anime uses blush for multiple reasons, so you need to learn to read context on why they're blushing and the room.. Shock, a feeling of content, happiness, embarrassment, and romantical feelings can all contribute to blushing. If a guy were to put him in a headlock and bring him close to their chest, he wouldn't blush.. If a girl did it, his entire face would become pink. To clear up the blushing accusations, he blushed at tsu because she asked him to put her down since she was embarrassed, and he got embarrassed too because she didn't want to be held and felt bad for making her feel that way after realizing the implications of the way he held her. He blushed at hatsume because her literal chest was in his face, on top of him. That's called shock and embarrassment which is something you'd feel if a random pretty lady landed on you chest first. The other times with hatsume he never blushes again like he did and they return to speaking terms other than that one time she held his waist but that's for the same reasons as before. Uraraka however has managed to get him to blush with a full face without even doing anything. He called her cute, he said he liked her hair, her outfit, and he's always got to be standing next to her in every official art piece. Tell me when he's ever said anything like that about a man other than "he's so cool"?

Remember that in Japan love is a touchy subject, you're expected to focus on your future first so that you can have all that you need to settle down. A lot of people don't even say i love you until marriage over there, so it's not odd that Midoriya isn't as open about his feelings unlike uraraka. I think it's just common everywhere for guys to not be the first ones to say anything.. When i met a lot of my exes i was always the one to say i love you first and to initiate things, and i think that's just because it makes guys feel better knowing that they're being chased for some reason or it could hurt their social reputation with their friends who'd probably tease them about it. But anyways, when you pay attention to the way they act near each other, things tend to fall in place. Your actions will always speak louder than your words.

[sad-scarred-sassy]

E/riel has no reason making me so furious, I was wondering why it bothers me so much.

Maybe is my love and empathy for Lucien and THE FACT THAT any scenario where he doesn’t end up with Elain will be tragic, and people don’t seem to care.

In a universe where fated mates exist and are basically the most precious thing to even the most powerful lords, where it is canon that its a bond that cant be broken and that will follow them forever, you really mean to look me in the eyes and say that a rejection will not end in a tragic story? FOR BOTH OF THEM.

And even if the bond is fake (its not) it is also just CRUEL to have it placed on a male that has had the woman he loved (who he thought was his mate) KILLED in front of him, just to spend his life counting out any type of romantic love, just to suddenly find his actual mate and have his whole LIFE turned around, giving up EVERYTHING to just SEE if shes okay, to then it not being real????

What then? He will find his true true mate? That is just insane and will never happen. At least not in one book and being realistic, if the concept of mates is stretched as some people say, then what is this if not a stretch and a completely illogical plot. (Also I dont think Lucien will get his own book without Elain).

Of all the situations in which SJM could have written a rejected bond/fake bond, why choose to do it with the one character who has already sworn off love, who has already lost all hope of ever experiencing love again, the one that has ZERO people who truly care about him, who had to deal with abuse and rejection HIS WHOLE LIFE and STILL IS. Why subject him to something that will not yield into his character development but just throw him even further into his doom. All for nothing. All to just feed the plot of a rejected bond and a “forbidden romance” for Elriel?

Cruel. Its just cruel.

When people say they want to see a rejected bond with Lucien and Elain specifically they are just saying they do not care about Lucien (he’s not part of the IC so why would they right?) and they just want Azriel to end up with Elain even though that ship is already sinking.

[bob-the-cemetery-ghost]

[I'm starting to get a couple of asks about my perspective on the whole Wilbur situation. So... I'll just... Say it here :P]

[I will always support and side with Wilbur. Not because I like defending abuse, or manipulation or whatever it was. It's because I've seen so many people's lives get ruined because they were accused of something like this and they killed themselvs over it because nobody believe them. It's also because I've noticed EVERYBODY sides with the woman in the relationship just because its a woman and everybody "knows" that they "cant do any harm" which is really fucked up. I'm not exaggerating I AM QUOTING. As far as I know Wilbur is just being accusing of something and is being forced to play along because he knows what someone popular can do.]

[Now about the response Wilbur made, I wish I could say its forged but I doubt it. Even then, I've heard everybody say that he "never even said sorry" and that he didn't even care and made it about himself which, if you don't know, REALLY is not like Wilbur to do. He would always take accountability for his actions, yes, but he wont make it all about himself for fame and popularity. I say its forged but nobody can know for sure.]

[Also also. Wilbur says that "its normal for bugs to be in British households" when its really not. A British household rarely has bugs in it at all... I think. Even then that's only on the southern side of Britain and Wilbur doesn't really have a Southerner accent. Maybe a posh accent if any. But even then its mainly wasps and insects and an ant IS an insect but for an entire colony to infest an entire house is rare.]

[Also also also, I noticed that the person who made all of these accusations was smiling alot, a few times they hesitated and were moving a lot which are a bunch of red flags that they're lying. Not that I'm saying they ARE lying but it is a huge possibility since we live in a world where women like to lie and ruin lives just for the fun of it or just because the male partner didn't do a few things for a while. I also noticed that everybody instantly jumped and attacked Wilbur about this just because they have been shipped together. The third red flag for me was that Shelby THEN told everyone that is had been Wilbur the entire time and that he was doing all of these things he had been accused of. People used recent videos of Wilbur saying things to back up the accusations. Shelby revealed ZERO bite marks at all and barely explained how much they hurt or if she had any marks of biting at all, she also never said anything about any infections or skin breaks because if she was hurting so bad then the skin would atleast be punctured or have a bite mark for a little while. She showed ZERO sign of any marks and even then was wearing a bit of exposed clothing showing her arms and a little bit of her shoulders and saw no bite marks.]

[So my take on the situation, Wilbur is innocent and he's in danger of being accused of abuse being backed up by more woman. Even his friends are turning on him. I will always support Wilbur and no matter what I will always side with him.]

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

I'm just gonna throw it out there cuz idk how many people have given you crap about this:

1). Solar labeled himself a "cousin" at EARTHS INSISTENCE. He straight up says that thinking about it in a "familial relationship" way doesnt work and is confusing see KC Eclipse Lunar Bloodmoon etc and hes only told that to Earth. Frankly, I think he, Moon and Sun think of Solar as "member of this family". Also, robots.

2). Moon can still develop feelings for someone, even if he's still aro/ace. I cant see Moon as EVER being the romantic type, and pretty much everyone in THIS show finds any sort of "physical" relationship weird and/or gross. Frankly, I read Solar as aro/ace too, cuz while the dude is CLEARLY capable of pining he really doesn't seem like the romantic type. So shipping Moon and Solar doesnt invalidate anyone's identity, especially since falling in love doesn't have to be romantic or physical *glares judgingly at society*

Also, imagine Solar and Moon going on non-romantic dates. Like they go to an anime convention or something and Moons completely needing out and Solars just like "you're a loser *heart eyes*"

WAIT NO BETTER IDEA!

Sun, who IS a romantic type, is like "I want my brother to have the best so I'm gonna help you guys get together" and Solars just like "pls no" and Sun tries to help make the perfect date, but both members are AGGRESSIVELY romantic and by the end Solar and Moon ditch Sun and like go play God of War or something X3

AH!

Surprisingly, no one has been giving me crap about much. I'm actually surprised with how chill everyone has been and how much on board they are with my silly little ship train idea. I'm actually happy everyone has been really cool and accepting so far.

And yes, this is true, and I went into a few posts about it. One post I went into specifics on the flexibility and "subject to change" nature about relationships in Robots. But agreed.

2. And yeah! Exactly. Back in the Early days of the show, Sun tried to pair Moon up on dates all the time, so it could have been a possibility that the old Moon was Romantic, or he wasn't, and Sun was just misreading the situation.... Also I never got his goal in trying to ship his brother with Roxanne other then to just be a voyeur because he's the one who liked her

And the only reason in my shipping Scenarios why Solar doesn't test his boundaries isn't cause he's acephobic in a majority of my scenarios. but moreso he doesn't want to violate Moon's trust or test his limits. Moon has given him so much, he doesn't want to ruin his friendship or the only home he's ever known.

Also NewMoon said he's "Questioning" right now, and that's also fine. And most likely i'll just draw from my own demi/ace experiences in a lot of ships I like/portray. Because I only know how to write my own experiences. It's not to invalidate others. I'm not every ace person in existence and it's such a wide spectrum so I can't account for everyone. I just write and brainstorm what feels right to me.

And. 3. gehaoghawefh Cute idea.

[frecklystars]

I'm sorry to make a vent post :c I hate being negative but I haven't been online in a couple of months and this kind of explains why + I really needed to let this out somewhere. TW for mentions of self harm and suicide mention, this vent post is a little bit heavy.

i havent been online for a couple of months now except one (1) time, and then i left again, just letting my queue post as always. my cptsd/depression/anxiety has been astronomical levels of Terrible. going offline just made me feel so so so much worse bc this is where i normally self ship and post my art. not blogging about my F/Os, not drawing them, not editing videos/not making gifs, feels... really really bad. self shipping is my main coping mechanism and not being able to self ship makes everything feel 50 billion times more hopeless. so I should try to get back into that habit again

its july. its gonna be my anniversary w/ the two F/Os who breathed life back into me when i was at my absolute worst. i should be really excited to celebrate an F/O anniversary for the first time in two years, but ive been... so... fucking miserable. the last few months i have been back into My Worst State Of Mind Ever. i have been having really bad days where im slipping back into planning how to end my life and self harming again like i did a year ago. this isnt an everyday occurrence as of right now, and rn as im queueing this post, i am not planning currently. but every other day i slip back into those old self destructive bad habits, so it's safe to say my depression is definitely Worse. im trying to figure out how to uh, hang in there. because i can't stop the source of the Thing that is causing me to feel like my only escape option is ending my life. this isn't just my mental health/a chemical imbalance in the brain making me feel this way, this is entirely situational and out of my control.

i know the source of my problem and why i feel this way, and i cannot control it. i havent talked about it on my blogs bc i dont wanna scare anyone, and i will NOT go into details here, but i havent felt safe in a very very very long time. i contacted the authorities back in January this year, i am planning to contact them again soon, but im afraid they can't do anything for me until things get worse than they already are. it sucks that you have to wait until things are literally impossible to get through until the authorities even CONSIDER helping you.

i have just been trying to take everything one day at a time and vent to a few close friends when i need to, but this has been so unbearably difficult to endure every single day. ive been dealing with this FAR longer than a few months, but regarding these last few months specifically, i feel like i haven't been functioning like a person. every single second i am just,,, scared and paranoid, this is the only thing i am ever thinking about because im so, so stressed. i dont WANT to think about it but i literally am incapable of having any peace. every few weeks, something scary regarding my situation happens, and makes my anxiety worse. i cannot tell you how scared ive been. im so scared every day that this is going to kill me, whether it's the actual situation that will kill me, or my own anxiety/fear will drive me into making an irreversible choice. which! i don't wanna do! i genuinely don't want to end my life, i just - i feel extremely trapped in this situation and i've felt very very very hopeless about it for a LONG ass time, and that shit weighs on you over time

my fear/paranoia has affected my self shipping, and self shipping is my main source of comfort, i cant lose it. i keep losing it. ive lost so much already i dont want to lose my F/Os all over again. i keep thinking there’s no point in self shipping because my F/Os would betray me or harm me in some way. i know they’re imaginary and they can’t hurt me IRL but like, from a self shipping standpoint, i can’t stop fretting over all of it being a huge trick. like they’re pretending to love me so they can betray me later. i can’t get any relief, I am having panic attacks all the time, my flashbacks are worse than ever. I can’t self ship and I can’t... function. i'm so messed up from everything that has been happening to me, i feel like healing is impossible at this point. i really hope that is just the severe anxiety/depression/ptsd talking. i hate being negative, i dont want to have such a pessimistic outlook, but it's just felt so... hopeless. like there is no point. but what am i gonna do, not try to feel things with my F/Os again? what am i gonna do, not self ship ever again?? i really have nothing else to do except try my best every day to get through this. or kill myself - and i dont wanna go down that latter road again bc its messy and it sucks and its expensive when you fail and i have permanent scars from the last time i failed two years ago, and i! want! to! get better! i dont genuinely want to die, i just want to escape my situation! this situation i am in should not be worth ending my life over. but i am scared all the time and that hopeless feeling is so heavy and it's just getting harder and harder to carry for so so so so long

i have friends both IRL and online who are trying to help me get back into a safe situation again, but there is only so much we can all do. so i just have to keep taking all of this shit one day at a time and just hope and pray some sort of miracle gets me through this. its been years so i really dont believe theres a way out anymore but i am just! agh!! fucking angry and sad and terrified 24/7 and sick of dealing with this, so i will keep powering through every day even if i gotta kick and scream the entire time.

ok anyway! im gonna stay offline for a little while longer (this is queued, if anyone is kind enough to reply/send an ask, i will try to respond when i return) but i will come back slowly but surely sometime maybe this week, next week at the latest. i at least want to celebrate my July 21st anniversary :( thats my most important one this year. i really really really need to get back into the habit of self shipping even if i dont feel much for my F/Os atm. i refuse to just lay down and take this, i want to at least try to feel something again even if it hurts.

thank you to those who have been patient with me with replies; tumblr says i have over 200 inbox messages and 99+ dms since ive been gone. i will try to get back to people slowly but surely, its just probably gonna take me a hot minute. if anyone has the free minute, if you can just send me something like "everything will be okay" in my inbox, i would super appreciate it 😭🙏 and thank you to anyone who took the time to read my ramblings.

[classicschronicles]

Hi lovelies,

I feel like I’ve just returned from ‘buying the milk’. I’m sorry I disappeared for *checks notes* 11 months, but it’s been a hectic year. I feel like if I get into it I’ll sound like an AO3 author, so here are some very quick highlights- I have just finished my first year studying Classics at university, I qualified as a fitness instructor (which is a side quest nobody asked for), I’ve become a theatre kid again, and I finally watched Game of Thrones. Studying Classics at uni is basically telling everyone that you study Classics at uni and then getting one of two reactions- “What is that? What kind of job are you going to et with that?”. To which I have no response, because honestly I’m not sure. Or the ever famous- “Oh like The Secret History?”. To which I cry inside because it is nothing like The Secret History. It is actually reading so much Thucydides that he becomes your sleep paralysis demon, and having to translate so much Caesar and Cicero that your daydreams become wishing you were in the Theatre of Pompey on March 15th 44 BC… for no particular reason. And also crying at 3am whilst you try to delude yourself into thinking that this is so dark academia core (spoiler- it’s not). All that being said- this has actually been one of the best years of my life and I am so happy I get to study what I love.

Anyways, I feel like we’re missing the most important part- and that is of course Game of Thrones. Guys. I have a crush on Jaime Lannister. HEAR ME OUT! I can fix him! I promise. I just need one chance. But also, I would fight him because why did he do my girl Brienne like that. Anyone who makes her cry can fight me fr. You know what made me cry though- Shireen Baratheon. What the fuck was that. And Ser Davaos’ finding out and his whole “I loved that girl like she was my own”. BAWLED. Anyways, it might surprise you to know that her death was actually based on a very famous greek myth- the myth of Iphigenia. So that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

Iphigenia’s story finds its beginnings in another myth entirely- the myth of Agamemnon and the Deer. Quick fun fact- the movie ‘Killing of A Sacred Deer’ is actually based loosely on this. The story goes that Agamemnon, out hunting one day, killed a deer belonging to the Goddess Artemis. This angered Artemis, not least because the deer was pregnant and Agamemnon’s little hunting accident killed both the mother and the baby.

Fast forward to some time later, Agamemnon launches a thousand ships to save his sister-in-law Helen from the Trojans at the behest of his brother Menelaus, and also the whole blood oath situation. The Spartans and the Mycenaeans make camp at the island of Aulis whilst they wait for the rest of the fleet to arrive, only to find that when they are ready to set sail once more, they cannot leave the island. There is not wind to push their ships, the air hot and heavy and remarkably still. This goes on for quite some time. Eventually Agamemnon consults the priest Calchas who tells him that the Gods (Artemis) are angry with him and demand a sacrifice. More specifically, the sacrifice of a virgin. This is also where some accounts differ- some claim that it could be any female virgin, some say that it had to be Agamemnon’s eldest daughter. In all honesty, I think the latter is probably more accurate because of the level of hesitation he shows before he makes his final decision. If he could sacrifice any virgin I don’t really think he would care.

Anyways, he obviously cant just write to his wife and say “hey babe can you please ship our eldest daughter over, I want to sacrifice her xoxo”. So he instead he comes out with an altogether more devious plan, and that is to tell his wife that the Prince Achilles wishes to marry Iphigenia before they sail for Troy. Both Iphigenia and Clytemnestra are of course overjoyed that she should marry ‘the best of the Greeks’ and she comes to Aulis where the army wait for her.

This is where it starts to break my heart a bit. On the morning of Iphigenia’s wedding day, Clytemnestra dresses her daughter and prepares her. She, of course, does not know that she is preparing her child for death. Her fathers men come to her tent and escort her and her mother to the alter. However, she never gets to say her vows because as soon as she steps onto the platform, they cut her throat and spill her blood as an offering to Artemis. Her mother is of course beside herself with shock and grief, but her husband does little to comfort her, telling her only that Artemis is appeased, and with the return of the wind he is leaving for Troy.

Euripides’ Iphigenia at Aulis, differs from this account and tells the story that on the morning of her supposed wedding, Iphigenia was aware of her fathers plan to sacrifice her and accepts with stoicism and all the bravery of a child put in an impossible position. He writes the following, heartbreaking, lines:

Iphigenia- “If only I could sing like Orpheus, father! Orpheus, who could charm even the heartless rocks into following him! If I could use such a voice and have everyone charmed, have them convinced to agree with me and follow me, then I would use that voice. But I have no such skill. The only voice I have, father, my only skill, is in my tears and, here, father, I’m giving them to you! I’m giving you my tears! I’m giving you all I have! She leans before him and embraces his knees Here, father, here is the body of a suppliant! Here is the body that your wife has given birth to. I wrap its limbs around your knees and beg you: Please father, do not cut off my life short. Let me enjoy the sweet light of day and do not force me to enter the world beneath the earth. I’m your first one, father! The first one to call you father, the first one you called daughter. Me, father! I was the first to play on your knees, the first one of your children to enjoy your love and the first one to give you a child’s love. Remember, father? You used to ask me, “I wonder, my darling, will I get to see you married one day, married and settled happily in your husband’s home, your life ever blossoming, making me proud of you?” And I’d touch your chin, my father, hang from your beard, father, like I’m doing now and say, “and what about you, father, will I get to see you, father, an old man, visiting me at my house, ready for me to repay you for your hard work in raising me?” No, you don’t remember these words, father. I do but you don’t! You’ve forgotten them and so, now, you want to kill me. Please, father! Please, in the name of Pelops and of Atreus who is your father, I beg you! Please don’t do it! And I beg you also for my mother’s sake, the woman who laboured to bring me to life, the woman who is being tortured even now. I beg you, father! What does my life have to do with the marriage of Paris and Helen father? Why has their marriage brought about my death, father? Agamemnon turns away. She continues despondently. Come, then, father, turn to me and give me a final kiss. A kiss to remember you by in the underworld, since my words have not convinced you. Agamemnon does not move. She goes over to her mother and takes baby Orestes in her arms. She swings him, sadly, gently back and forth and leans over him as she speaks to him What a weak little helper you are, my tiny brother! Won’t you cry with me, Orestes? Come on, won’t you beg your father not to kill your big sister? Come on, Orestes, even babies know when there’s trouble around! Ha! See, father? Orestes is begging you, too! Begging you by his silence. Do you not care about me any more? Spare my young life, father. Spare me! Here! Look here, father! Here are the two of us, one’s a baby, the other a grown up girl, a brother and a sister, both your children, begging you, by your beard, pleading with you… She turns and looks sadly around her, then up at the sun. That! Up there is my final argument. That light, this light all around us, will cut all other arguments to pieces. This light is the sweetest thing that can fill the eyes! The world beneath the earth is a world of nothing. Only fools would pray to go down there. I’d rather live a life full of misery than die a hero’s death!

If that doesn’t make you cry I don’t know what will. And then to top it off he follows it up 200 lines later this this tear jerker:

“C- What report shall I give to your sisters?

I-Do not dress them either in black garments.

C-Is there any word of love from you I should give the girls?

I-Bid them farewell; and make sure you bring up Orestes as a man!

C-You look at him for the last time- hold him tight!

I-(holding Orestes close): Darling boy, you helped you dear sister as much as you could!

…

I-Who will come to take me there before they drag me by the hair?

C-I will be at your side…

I-No, not you- that would not be right!

C-…holding on to your clothes!

I-Mother, oblige me in this: stay here! This is the nobler course for me and for you. Let one of my father’s attendants here escort to Artemis’ meadow where I shall be sacrificed.

(Iphigenia begins to move away from a crying Clytemnestra)

C-O my child, are you going?

I-Yes, and never shall I come back.

C-You will leave your mother?

I-Yes, as you see, we do not deserve this.

C-Wait- don’t abandon me!

I-I forbid you to shed tears. (C sinks to the ground)”.

In every version you read, however, sacrificing his daughter is not a choice that Agamemnon takes lightly. He is torn between sacrificing his daughter and angering his wife- but winning glory for the Greeks, or saving his daughter, but abandoning his men. As a father, he made the wrong choice, but as a king some would argue that he did what was expected of him.

I do like, however, in Euripides’ version the character of Achilles. He is adamant that he will not be privy to the murder of Iphigenia. He tries so very hard to save her and to offer comfort to Clytemnestra and genuinely I think that this might be one of the loveliest most favourable depictions of him.

This myth then gives way to part of the Oresteia trilogy and many many retellings of her Iphigenia’s story- every single one of which always make me want to cry. I can’t explain what it is- I know that the whole point of tragedy is that build up and release of emotion but no tragedy has every made me actually sad other than Iphigenia at Aulis.

Anyways, you can imagine my absolute horror when I watched S5 EP9 and saw Shireen tied to the alter, literally gave myself whiplash with how quickly I tried to look away from the screen.

I would say I hope you enjoyed reading about Iphigenia, but if you did you’re an absolute psycho! The two translations I used are from PoetryInTranlsation and Penguin’s 2005 edition “The Bacchae and Other Plays”. Hopefully, now that I’ve posted again I’ll try and be more regular with it and I hope you all have a lovely lovely week <33

~Z

[rise-my-angel]

How do you think will Jon deal with it? I mean it’s not usual that your brother is in love with your pregnant girlfriend. Is there going to be jealousy? arguments? And how do you think is the reader dealing with this?? Is Jon going to be very mad or jealous?

Remember, Jon already knows that Robb had feelings for you and he is already mad. But now, he's also protective of you in general because of the baby, but he's also very insecure about his own status and his capability as a father. He still sees Robb as his better, and the worry comes that Robb might have been a better option that could provide for you better.

Hell, Jon can't even work from home to be with you, and Robb can. Robb himself tones down on things in front of Jon, knowing that the tension between them upsets you, but Jon struggles to do the same because he knows Robb is taking advantage of the times he's on shift, especially when he's north of the wall for days at a time.

Its going to be less explosive then it has been now, but a lot more tense and personal with you confused in the middle, not understanding why theyre still mad and feeling guilty it's still somehow your fault.

It also might not help that a certain Stark knows about Robbs feelings for you, and supports the idea of Robb one day being able to date you, which does not help Robbs inclination to be sweet on you the days he works from home to help you out. Catelyn also knows his feelings, but she'd never encourage that sort of behavior no matter how much she dislikes Jon. Sansa, spoiler its Sansa part of her almost ships you and Robb and wants her eldest brother to be happy even if it means somehow getting him with you. Shes not doing it to be malicous, but she perhaps still has residual views from Catelyn on Jon and maybe doesnt quite see him as the best one to be with you, and would rather see her oldest brother do so.

Ned watches all of this go down and goes to Theon one day like "Was it this tense in the apartment?" And proceeds to pour them both drinks when Theon says yes. Both almost laugh at how clueless you were about it all for someone who was as smart as you.

Side note, one time Jon was worried he might not make it in time for one of the parenting classes that you take, since he makes sure to come to them all, and Robb casually suggested he would go, and Jon nearly snapped then and there about him taking his place. Meanwhile you were in the other room, feet up on the couch curled into yourself as you read diligently through one of the pregnancy books recommended and calmed down. Telling himself not to snap, and that he would make it, and figure it out with Mormont later.

Jons been to every parenting class with you, he doesn't want Robb going to any. Jons going to be a father, he knows its his responsibility to be prepared, and he also sees how many women are in those classes when their partners either cant come or dont want to and never wants anyone to think he's just dumping the classes off on his brother so he can finally do anything else. Jon might like those classes more then you because of how much information he takes in, wanting to know what to do for you in any situation.

Least to say, Jon is going to have some very conflicting emotions going forward about this, even though for your sake, Robb significantly tones down how aggressive towards Jon he behaves anymore. The tension is still there, but now its much more complicated and in front of many more people everyday.

[spacedlexi]

A little while ago you said that you have nuanced feelings on Clem x Louis, and I think that’s how I’d describe my opinion on the ship as well. I was just wondering, what makes you feel that way? Personally, I think they’re romance scenes are cute and sweet, but the whole situation with Marlon makes me unable to see them as anything other than friends. I think they both mean a lot to each other, but the idea that they’d want to date so soon after that whole ordeal’s a bit of a stretch to me.

putting this under a read more so if anyone even Thinks they might get upset about mild louis opinions they can move on and stay happy. seriously people take this stuff too seriously sometimes and i dont want to stir anyone up but also im allowed to have my own opinions OKAY. none of this means i dont like him or them OKAY??

okay

thats pretty much where my opinions are too

the stuff with marlon and the vote is Definitely the biggest thing that influences my opinion about their romance. i always forget just how Cruel he is in EP2 😭 like im on your side dude what aj did was wrong can we just talk about this 😭 but he votes to kick them out. like his reaction about marlon doesnt bother me, its his insistence on kicking them out that does 😔 my clem will always forgive him for it, i believe him when he says he regrets it, but its gonna take some time for trust to build again. for both of them

having only one scene between his apology and the lock in was just not gonna happen for my clem. she was mad at him for it. aj almost died because of it. she might be doing better now but she still has trust issues and her trust was broken just as much as his was. he was fine with never seeing her again, sending her and aj out to their deaths because he struggled to accept his confused feelings about marlon. that pissed my clem off shdfksd she is barely keeping this child alive let alone herself. her face when ajs kicking the wall bro she was like "its so fucking over" 😭 cmon bro look at her shes dead inside have some compassion. and he still hits her with the "i dont know [if i want you to stay]" even after aj gets shot like cmon man...... Cmon.........

and while shes waiting for louis to finally be ready to talk about what happened with marlon (which my clem apologizes for in the dorm, she does genuinely feel bad about it), her and violet are only growing closer, focusing on preparing the school together for the bigger problem. clem knowing vi has her back is a huge source of relief in everything thats going on, and that means a Lot for my clem, who appreciates the idea of having a partner she can rely on. my clem is already sure of her feelings for vi by the time louis apologizes. but she appreciates his apology, and is looking forward to being friends again, because she did genuinely appreciate his friendship at the beginning. but her heart was really truly Broken about everything with marlon and the vote and i think thats gonna take more time to heal. depending on player choice some clems might not even forgive him (some others might say he was right and that clem didnt stop it but... i do not agree with that.. like how could she have... aasim calls mitch a hypocrite for saying the same thing)

the other less important thing is just his general blasé attitude. my clem takes things seriously, but that doesnt mean she doesnt know how to have fun. she Wants to. she just Cant. she has a child to take care of first, and she cares about the survival of the group. its why my clem is looking for someone she knows she can rely on. she never wanted any of this, and she just wants a little support, someone to help take the weight off so she CAN relax. shes so tired 😭. playing with louis while aasim hunts by himself made me feel Dirty 💀 (i literally couldnt do it the first time i felt so bad AASIM WAIT UP). and while i can understand and appreciate his "there might not be a tomorrow so enjoy today" outlook, it cant come at the expense of the group. louis i feel eventually learns this, finding a balance between the two, and Becomes someone clem can rely on. but his change doesnt begin until like.. after the raiders take everyone (because we have to get through the marlon stuff first). and if you save vi, you dont get to see any of it 😔

the thing about these two problems is that, if you were to take them out of this setting and throw them in like, a modern au, suddenly these are not issues anymore. no more life or death. the stakes are a lot lower. so i can see them dating in that scenario and having fun together. they do have cute moments!! but also due to less stakes, theres less to motivate louis to change. and i think they would fundamentally just not click on their worldviews. clem while she can have fun, ultimately takes things seriously, and louis doesnt. that doesnt mean they dont care about each other, and clem definitely appreciates his energy, but its why i see them still ending up as friends instead of romantic partners (esp if vi is around IM SORRY 😭 they just Click too well for me 😔 this is why my messy au exists 💀)

i also understand this is mostly personal preference and some people might like them for these reasons 😭 but the dynamic that they have i prefer as friends personally. theyre supportive of each other and deeply care about each other, just not romantically imo. especially not after the stuff with marlon. and thats ok!!!! i see it a lot like louis' relationship with vi. not romantic. but they Love each other regardless. honestly the reason why i like clem vi and louis as a trio so much is that clem slots between them really well. louis who doesnt take anything seriously, and vi who takes things Too seriously. clem exists between them. knowing having fun is important but also understanding the weight of responsibility. she helps louis become more responsible, and she helps vi chill the fuck out. she brings balance :)

i will say tho louis' "nothing wrong with short and sweet, right?" line was cute he got me there

[megabuild]

this isnt about the ask game but i need you to tell me more about your take on pausetho. i just binged starblight desert and theyre the worst /aff what do you have to say about them

the fact you've specified starblight desert is really interesting to me because not only it is a team canada series but it's also the most recent team canada series- which isn't a bad thing to be clear, because pausetho is eternal and forever, but it interests me because i think pause and etho's dynamic changes a lot in a way that i wouldn't consider applicable to other ships of his that have that long and ongoing history (eg. ethubs, beeftho).

when i think of pausetho i think. the two of them are fundamentally quite lonely characters. full disclaimer that i'm far from #educated on their respective mindcrack povs because i haven't watched them in a hot minute, but. etho is extremely lonely often through choice, especially imo with the way i interpret his time on mindcrack as being shortly after all the 404 nonsense on the lp (tldr he has just went through the most traumatic experience of his life and learned most of what he remembers prior is probably fabricated). etho is also known for his masks and during mindcrack i think a big one was being this very respected and almost famous guy.. a lot of it was in jest ofc but like he's Thee Etho's Lab! this in addition to the fact that he's sort of intimidating in the same way he was in 3l+ll because his uhc rankings were pretty solid.

meanwhile pause is also lonely but imo in a different way. because etho is a guy who chooses loneliness to avoid the eventual hurt that comes from connection whereas pause is a guy who chooses connection time and time again but never really properly connects. hes a lot harder to analyse so forgive me because i also have to tread the dreaded rpf/fiction line here and start pulling from examples most people wouldn't consider due to it being Too Real (also i dont care because its complicated but anyway) one thing that always sticks out to me is the various mindcrack podcast episodes where he ends up being outspoken? i dont have any actual numbers on hand but i Def remember it in regards to like, discussions of female gamers and gamergate and the like and pause often being the one guy to speak up and be like This is shitty actually. that in addition to some far more complicated things i dont have the words to get into right now eg. being the guy on the gayest straight server ever who is actually bisexual But anyway. my point is that among mindcrackers pause to me is in a weird situation where he certainly fits in very well but simultaneously sticks out like a sore thumb in ways he cant really do anything about without massively compromising himself, so despite not being lonely in the same way etho is, there is a certain Something there.. sorry this makes zero sense but this ask has been sitting in my drafts for like a week and im desperate to get rid of it. PLUS he also deals with this in the form of a mask (he is actually a very anxious and soft hearted guy imo but often plays up and is fiercer and shouts more to get laughs but also to come across as bigger and more intimidating than he actually is. not that he needs to because jesus have you seen this guys uhc stats? frankly i should have skipped this entire essay and just linked the various times that etho and pause have clashed in uhc)

anyway jesus this got long . all of this is literally not real btw the main reason i like pausetho is because theyre funny and pause is one of my favourite guys and i wish there was more content for him. but also generally like.. this is the complicated messy reason to like them but also yeah generally just watching team canada and seeing their dynamic is fun bc they are just really good friends ^_^

[bibibbon]

Maybe you have noticed but in regards Izu...the narrative punish him(fuck you Hori) as well the majority of the fandom. Some Shinso fans think Izu should have come clean to Shinso about his quirk regarding the Izu vs Shinso 2.0 (coincidentally Aizawa stopped trained him after Shinso lost) and how in "Izu and Shinso are friends" Izu should pity Shinso as well we, the readers, while Izu's past is not seen as a big deal.

Some do say " yeah bk was meanie" and that if we are lucky.

I dont get why Shinso thought Izu(the kid who calls himself deku, not dekiru) whose quirk break his bones (of course UA does nothing. Has any teacher help anyone with their quirk?) And is mostly like from poor background is a golden child....

Meanwhile Shinso is really silent about BK.

What I'm trying to say here is...how Hori and the fandom ignore the ramifications of Izu's abuse or use to prop others characters.

"Shinso is a good guy bc he punched BK for Izu" cool...but why cant Izu do that? Why we dont get a word of what Izu thinks about that? Why he cant have closure?

(We see this in ships too. Ochako the super cool GF defeats BK...and Izu's pain is not important, not the healing! He has a gf duh🙄😒)

Yeah this is actually one of the biggest problems I have with the bakugo and izuku relationship/ rivalry or whatever it is (it's definitely not romantic or a friendship) izuku never gets to reflect or be the one to stand up for himself and some people say," oh it's IZUKUS character he doesn't realise that what bakugo has done is bad and he just forgives everyone who ever does him dirty" or something along those lines which really annoys me because ITS COMPLETELY FALSE. We can see in the first chapter after the suicide incident that izuku can actually feel negative emotions towards KATSUKI and that he actually knows and realises that what KATSUKI is doing is WRONG. However, because of hori's love for katsuki he can be never make him seem like the bad guy which 1) ruined katsukis development 2) ruined izukus and other characters development.

Concerning the shinso situation I don't think Izuku has to own up TO NOTHING!! No offence but hori made shinso kind of dumb when he chose that out of ALL hero class students you CHOOSE to target izuku who YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE DOESN'T SEEM TO FIT IN OR GO BY YOUR STUPID SILVER SPOON IDEOLOGY. Iam all for shinso and izuku being friends and I have talked about ways how to change the narrative so izuku and shinso's interactions can make sense in the narrative but yeah idk what's going on with hori.

Lastly, when it comes to izuku and his backstory the fandom mainly ignores it because it's not consistently brought up as something that affected izuku even though we can clearly see it did. Hori also stated that he wished he didn't make bakugo as mean and you can clearly see him try and undermine bakugos actions by making him think about izuku and only izuku also the fandom will eat anything that's BKDK which they think is a better version of saskue and Naruto but in reality this is a toxic wish version.