#who only begin to heal when they learn the love is worth so much more than the hatred

[hazelcallahan]

Hating you... I've hated myself. I just don't have the energy for it any longer.

[dragonlands]

There's so much negativity around Izzy's death so I wanted to address some of the points I keep seeing thrown around.

"Izzy's death was pointless"

No, he just had his big speech about how basically they can kill him but they cannot kill the movement. That is a clear paraller to a lot of real life protestors of unjustice. He died protecting the community, he died so the community could go on.

"Izzy's death made his healing pointless"

No it didn't. Healing is always good, feeling happiness and belonging are ALWAYS worth it. We never know how long we've got, doesn't mean we gotta stop trying to be better or happier. His healing was still real. It still mattered.

"Izzy's character arc was left unfinished, it's bad writing"

Oh my god. If you open any writing guide about how to write impactful deaths, and the first thing that comes up is to leave some part of their arc unfinished. And his arc did go through quite a beautiful line, sure there could've been more but his story didn't end like, mid arc. As a writer, of course you want to make the audience sad when a character dies. It's good storytelling. Good stories are supposed to make us feel.

"Izzy died on the arms of his abuser"

Where the hell did this idea come from? Ed and Izzy have been in a toxic codependent relationship way before this show started. You could argue that Izzy was Ed's abuser, but that is not the argument I want to make here. Yes, we saw Ed driven to madness shoot Izzy on screen, but we know Izzy's the one that forced him to be Blackbeart when he didn't want it anymore. There's turmoil all around them. But the final moment is them finally meeting as people, not as components of Blackbeard.

"Izzy's death was unnecessarily awful"

His death was sad, yes, but it was quite beautiful as far as deaths go. He was surrounded by family who cared for him. He was loved, and accepted as he is. He knew his legacy will be carried on.

"They killed off the only character that showed us healing is never too late"

Did we watch the same show? That begins with then unhappy 40+ year old Stede deciding it's finally time to reach for his dreams? Where we see Blackbeard slowly gaining back his humanity? Where Black Pete starts off as toxically masculine dude but ends up in a soft gay marriage? Where most of the crew wanted to mutiny but then they realized being soft is good, actually. Jim's whole purpose in life being revenge but them learning to let that go and instead concentrate on love and fun and family. And so on. Izzy's arc is beautiful, but he's not the only person healing who thought it was too late already.

"Izzy's death was bury your gays trope"

No, what, no. In a pirate show where everyobody is queer some queer people will die. Bury your gays is about only having one or few queer characters and killing them off while the straights get their happily ever afters. This is so far from that.

Also, I want people to be aware of the phenomenon, where creators of diverse shows are subjected to more critism than those of non diverse shows. If this intrests you, Sarah Z on Youtube made a great video on it called Double standards and diverse media. Our flag means death has given us so much, queer love story with a happily ever after, finding community, nonbinary character. And the creators have always been so kind to fans, so let's show them tht kindness back. Because critizicing this one aspect can easily turn to seeming like the whole story is just unwanted. That stories like Ed and Stede's aren't worth telling. And I'm so aftraid that will happen, when just now for the first time in years we are finally getting queer stories.

Also, I understand people are sad. I am sad too - Izzy was an amazing character and his death was sad but that's just. Good writing. You can grieve, but trying to turn it into a moral or dramaturgy issue is just not a good look. And attacking the creators of this wonderful show is just horrible.

Remember - this fandom is a safe space ship 🏴‍☠️🏳️‍🌈

[yourlocaltreesimp]

A Hero’s guide on how to heal pt. 2

pushing my chubby sky propaganda again. @biblicallyinaccuratespoons come get your food. This is a part 2, but you do not need to read part 1 to understand what is going on.

CW: Senstitive topics, proceeded with caution

Part 1 is non x reader

Part 2 (you are here) is an x reader because i’m a simp

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Truly, Sky was proud of how far he’d come. He was content to not be in what the people thought as ‘his prime’ anymore, especially since he knew what it really entailed. The life of a hero is appealing until you become familiar with being so hungry you can feel the emptiness carving at your sternum, and so tired you hallucinate.

Being a hero sounds glamorous until that’s all you ever get to be.

It’s all you let yourself be — perfection. And nothing else.

Truely, he never much cared for the term anyway.

That sentiment only becomes truer once he looks past the beginning of his journey.

When he was allowed to simply just be himself.

He was scrawny and awkward. He fumbled his way through life and confrontations, doing whatever he felt was right. He slept through his classes and would sneak into the kitchen at night to steal food.

He didn’t need top marks like Zelda, or a group of yes men like Groose.

He only cared to be content with himself.

Of course, this all fell apart come the time when he’d attach his self worth to his performance as hero.

Once his thoughts began to shift, thinking that not only did he have to save Skyloft and kill demise, but that he needed to live up to this tall tale of what he was supposed to be. That this heroism, ingrained in his very soul, was the marker of his being. This is why he lived.

So he began to build his life around it.

His schedule did not revolve around fulfilling his own life as much as it did saving others.

Perhaps, then, it’s no surprise the people in Hyrules following make him out to be something he isn’t. A vague, shifting figure amidst a surprisingly rigid history. In the act of changing and melding himself to every point of view, every requirement and request, he tucked the truth of himself further away from the eyes of history.

Truthfully, and perhaps slightly shamefully, Sky admits that he would’ve done anything to live up to those expectations. More than he already had.

If someone had told him, at his most vulnerable, that he had to die a martyr, he wouldn’t have even dug a grave.

That thought was a comfort back then. That maybe he’d be asked to just give up. That he’d be relieved of his service. That he’d be perfect in the eyes of history. That despite the fact he was hungry, and tired, and sick, and aching, he’d done what he needed to do.

If death cleansed his soul and finally made him good enough, life was no longer worth living.

Now, he wishes he could go back.

To tell that younger version of himself that it’s ok.

That he’s not perfect and never will be. But it feels so much better when you’re loved for who you are rather than who you wish you’d be.

Admittedly, though, he couldn’t have learned that on his own. All of Skyloft knew him from before and would love him regardless of how much he’d seek to harm himself.

He would’ve never fixed himself if he stayed stagnant.

He needed change.

He needed the change to crack and to break him before he could be remolded and refused.

In the end, he didn’t save himself. Even if he was The Hero.

It was the chain, their brotherhood and support that showed him there were people that understood. People who actually wish for you to be better (as in actually wanting you to be healthy rather than stronger or faster). People who’ve been through the same struggles and problems. People who know what he needs and how to support him.

All at once, he wasn’t alone anyone.

There was so much of himself in each of them. It was impossible to be alone.

Beyond that was you. His lover. That showed him constantly how love should make you giddy and proud of what you are instead of hungering to be more, even if it was ‘to your advantage’ (but you never did care about how he benefited you, did you? he was always more to you than his abilities). You didn’t care for some hero and their acts of service to the goddesses.

You cared about an awkward dork who couldn’t even think about you without his lovesick heart fluttering.

But perhaps most ironically of all; he achieves more now than he did back when he thought suffering meant efficiency.

He can strategize for more enemies and more complex group dynamics when he’s fully slept. He can work his muscles for longer and at higher intensity than when he was skin and bone. He doesn’t feel that aching sense of emptiness, the nausea of hunger looming over him.

He’s comfortable, the chill no longer nipping at his bones when there’s layers of healthy fat to insulate him.

He’s comfortable, You’re able to curl up onto his chest without crushing him.

He’s comfortable. He finally feels right in his skin. That this is where he’s supposed to be, and exactly who he’s supposed to be. Regardless of what people expect of him, regardless of what people judge of him.

[galene-gothic]

𝖶𝗁𝗈 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎, 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ Who do you think you are ? ꒱

This seems to be touching more on what you're experiencing right now or have experienced in the past. You think that you're heartbroken, it's coming through quite strongly here. You think that your emotions run deep which results in you feeling hurt very deeply too. You think that you're lonely and kinda alienated from others. Some of you might have gotten deeply betrayed by people who you really trusted which has left you wondering if it's even worth it at all. I think that we both know that you're not in the best place right now. However, you're starting to have realisations that are really helping you at this time. As much as you're heartbroken, you don't want to and will not lose your compassionate self. You're seperating yourself from things and people that hurt you but I'm getting that you're the kind of person who desires closures so things feel incomplete to you on a subconscious level but you have a deep understanding that you've outgrown those situations and even if it's heartbreaking, you're moving away, even if it's uncomfortable, you're starting to choose peace and happiness. You think that you're someone who learns lessons from every experience especially heartwrenching ones.

You think that right now you're kind of purging, the universe/god/whatever you believe in seems to be clearing away the crap from your life, be it people, situations or your own unhealthy habits. I'm getting that this purging is very uncomfortable for you. You think that you've got atleast alright social skills. You think that you're open to loving people and want to express positive emotions (affection) to others in a deep and touching manner. You think that you are a person who helps others heal even if it triggers them, you see yourself as someone who has tried to heal really vile people in the past. I'm getting that you're starting to take more pride in having been a good friend/partner/daughter to people, if you don't then you should. You think that you're really careful with people's emotions and pretty good at understanding patterns especially emotional ones. You seem to be going through a new beginning, emotionally. You see yourself as peace loving. When you love someone you start looking at things from their perspective, you're very sensitive towards their needs and even if you have gotten into situations that were abusive or toxic, you've always tried to maintain the other person's or the relationship's peace. You think that people find it easier to open up to you regarding things than with others.

꒰ Who are you, really ? ꒱

You're someone who wants to leave behind a legacy. You wish to be abundant in every sense, you want the money, the love, the life that others can only dream of having. You care about your family deeply, for some of you, you might have family issues but even so, you sacrifice a lot for them. When you love someone, you consider them to be family and they become the center of your world. You are wealthy, if not financially (yet), you're wealthy when it comes to experiences. You might have experienced significant losses in your life which has always managed to get you closer to yourself. You like to make others feel like they belong because you've felt like you don't fit in for majority of your life, for some of you, it's still difficult to find people who you truly vibe with. The people who make you feel like you belong are very important to you, you grow affection towards such people very easily. You're a harmonious person, you care about reputation, material resources and money a lot but you hold just as much value to emotions, relationships (both platonic and romantic) and growing internally.

Compared to other people, you're pretty self aware in regards to your negative traits and know how to live with integrity which provides you with a sense of fulfillment. The thing about you guys is that you cannot be labelled because of how complex your personality is and also because of how balanced you are. While, for some people they could choose between love and money if they had to, it's difficult for you to do so because of how much importance you hold to both of them. I'm getting that you guys want a stable environment, a home to call your own but also cannot exactly be tied down, you likely know that you cannot do a 9-5 but a part of you likes the structure and routine that a 9-5 provides. There's a part of you that wants to settle down and there's another part of you that wants to fly really high. You're integrating a different version of yourself in your current self and it has not been easy for you but you're resilient and you're completing a cycle. You're strong enough to face any challenge, you've always overcome the hardest battles and you'll continue doing so in the future if it comes to it. I'm so proud of you.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ Who do you think you are ? ꒱

You guys probably know that you're pretty. You think that you're a mature person who's emotionally intelligent. You think that you're kind, loving and sensitive. You think that you get hurt pretty easily. You think that one of your positive and negative traits is your ability to daydream. You think that you're a loyal and forgiving person who loves people at all costs. You think that you hope for the best for people. You think you've got many deep insights on life and that your presence is healing. You think that you're understanding and forgiving. However, you also think that you end up burdening yourself by taking responsibility for other people's emotions. You see yourself as someone who's kind of burnt out as of lately. You think that you're often taken for granted and tend to struggle a lot :(. Most of you haven't had an easy life but you keep on pushing yourself. Your ability to never give up is really admirable and I think that you respect yourself for that. You might have gone through humbling experiences recently which is causing you to focus on your duties and confidence. You think that you're a hardworking person who doesn't really mind carrying the relationship, I think that is starting to change. You think that you have the tendency to be obsessive at times.

In the past, you might have made a lot of sacrifices for others but now you're starting to realise that that's not how it's supposed to be. Now, you're starting to make sacrifices for the life you wish to live is what I'm getting. You think that you tend to take more than you can handle but still manage to get it done, however, you're starting to realize that biting more than you can chew is not good for you. You think that you're really ambitious but you might have been lazy in the past, you're starting to stay disciplined now and I think that's one of the best things that you've been doing. You think that you tend to get really stressed out because of how seriously you take everything. You think that you've lost yourself but you're trying to take this opportunity to build yourself as a better person. I'm getting that you've tried to protect people by handling their responsibilities, helping them work through their trauma, even taking blame for their mistakes, etc. Which didn't leave you well. You might have felt like you destroyed yourself but you're starting to build compassion towards yourself again because you realise that it's not your fault that you care about people, it's not your fault that they couldn't have been kinder to you, it's on them, it's their loss. You tend to struggle with loneliness.

꒰ Who are you, really ? ꒱

You're actually who you think that you are. You're an emotionally intelligent person and love people deeply. You're sensitive, loyal, forgiving and never give up on love. You have a lot of empathy towards others. I think that you don't know some things about yourself though or even though you know it, you tap into those parts very unconsciously. First of all, you care about money and material possessions, you are also pretty thrifty with money. You are a pretty practical person and like to weigh out risks and potential outcomes before investing. Your ability to grow is beyond astounding, you're always growing, you're always becoming better but you haven't tapped into your potential entirely. You like to set goals and follow through with achieving them. Even though you have the tendency to daydream, you're much more grounded than other people your age. You have so much potential that you're not even aware of. Right now, some of you here are like "I know that I have a lot of potential" but you have even more potential than you think.

You especially have a lot of potential when it comes to money, you know how to be realistic when things come to it. I'm not sure how to say it but your relationship with earth or the material realm is much stronger than your relationship with spirit. You can ground anything you want to into reality unless you're choosing to be lazy 💀. Some of you might be artists here, while some of you have the soul of an artist but haven't been able to harbour your skills to the point where you could call yourself an artist? I'm getting that whenever you see this, you should focus on money and improving your skills when it comes to any artform that you feel called to. For you, healing is very important. You really care about your own and other people's emotions. I get the vibe that people not considering your emotions can make you really upset at times even though usually you choose to understand where they're coming from. You're a really loving person too. You're a really romantic person who has deep insights on life. You might sometimes feel like no one deserves you because of how loving you are.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ Who do you think you are ? ꒱

Right now, you're probably transitioning and you're aware of it. You think that you're someone who overcomes any hardship that comes upon you. You think that you're in a healing period right now. I'm also getting that you might have helped or tried to save a lot of people in the past when they were down but when you're down, you're having to go through everything all by yourself. You seem to be running away from something. I'm getting that it's not anything bad, like you're not ghosting people, you're just choosing to get away from bad energy. You think that things are finally starting to be calmer for you and that you're moving into a positive direction. You're making a lot of progress in your everyday life. You think that you're someone who learns from your regrets. You think that you've mentally left situations even if you're unable to leave them physically due to whatever reason. You think that you have a lot of courage and are an independent thinker. You think that you're releasing your past pains and starting to take more responsibility over your own happiness. You're likely exhausted and taking a rest right now.

You're trying your best to regain control over your life again and to balance things out. You feel supported by the universe or whatever you believe in right now, you feel like the universe sends in someone to help redirect you everytime you are about to go astray. You think that you're moving towards creating a more stable and comfortable life for yourself. You're either on the verge of leaving someone or something in the past or you already have. This is talking more about things that you're going through and the energy you're in right now. Let's move towards what you think about yourself, you think that you're a prideful person. I'm getting that it's very important for you to be proud of yourself, proud of your partner, proud of your friends, etc. You think that you naturally attract attention. You think that you're a confident person who possesses a lot of inner strength. You're starting to realise that achievements mean a lot to you. You want to be successful and some of you have a feeling that you are destined to be in the public eye in some way. You think that you're constantly working on improving yourself as being and feeling confident is very important to you.

꒰ Who are you, really ? ꒱

One thing I can clearly pick up on is that you feel completely drained out. I'm actually surprised that you still have the energy to try and make your life better. Your attempt at trying to stay positive is quite admirable too. You have a lot of setbacks in your life right now. It's as if nothing is working out. It seems to be really worrisome to be honest, you might be on the verge of not being able to continue your education or job anymore, some of you might be on the verge of losing your home, etc. You're still choosing to be courageous and not lose your mind though. You're persistent on making things better for yourself. You've learnt lessons from your past failures and mistakes and you're choosing to practically apply those lessons into your life. You also seem to be really guarded, with your time, energy, money, information about your life, etc. Regardless of how bad things might be going for you and how many setbacks seem to be placed on your path, you're choosing to push forward. You're tired of everything, you just want to be stable at this point. You also seem to be really wounded from all your past experiences. You're actually going through a really hard time right now, you know that but you don't feel like it because you are doing your best, I'm so proud of you. You're a resilient person who's choosing to have faith in how things play out while still trying your best to get your desired outcome/outcomes. It's like, you know that things can't possibly get any worse so you might as well choose to have a positive attitude towards things, that's what you think subconsciously.

I think again, we ended up picking up more of your energy than on you, so moving on to who you really are. You were meant to give out and receive love. Socializing is like second nature to you. Maybe, not anymore but most of you were very good at socializing as a child. You hold pure intentions towards other people and choose to deal with emotions in a balanced way. You're someone who doesn't really try to make your feelings towards someone stop growing unless they do you dirty. You also really seem to enjoy the early stages of relationships and crushes. You're an emotionally open person even though you're really guarded and choose to love people freely. However, you might have a fear of commitment and might purposely like people who are commitment phobic too or you know you won't last with. You like forming new connections and tend to go with the flow while still wondering how to control situations. You don't seem to have a balance, you either go with the flow to the point you almost don't care or you become really controlling. You're actually very peaceful and peace loving. I'm trying to figure out how and why your life is so chaotic. You know how to maintain your emotional well-being while not losing your ability to love. You're actually pretty satisfied and fulfilled with yourself and that's why you seem to keep going despite everything. You know how to make others happy :'). I'm so proud of you, keep loving, take care.

[musette22]

I wonder if Steve has a significant amount of imposter syndrome, especially when he came out of the ice. People had solidified this idea of him and expected him to excel and be that, hell even his teammates were just like oh I know all about you. (Expect maybe Thor, who I think was one of Steve’s closest friends in the beginning)

He can’t escape these expectations and if he goes against it, he’s berated for it. It’s made even worse with the serum, but at least with that he had the howling commandos to ground him and encouraged him. In the 21st Century there was no one to bounce of and the fact it would have been made worse by his survivors guilt.

Idk Steve is a character that has so many layers but gets over looked because he isnt allowed to fall into a vulnerable headspace. I kinda wished we saw more of that in his character, not in like a reflective sort of way but a kinda overwhelmed by everything portrayal. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense.

Oh absolutely, yes! I think you're completely right. I also think Steve struggles hugely with the expectations people have of him, the dichotomy between the persona & legend of Cap versus the real Steve Rogers. He had to get used to a whole new body first, and then on top of that, he also had to learn to deal with all those expectations and the idea(l) people have of him which he doesn't even recognise himself in, half the time. He doesn't feel worthy of all the attention and hero worship, constantly thinking that if only people knew the real him, they'd be sorely disappointed. At the same time though, I think he feels like the whole celebrity aspect of being Cap is empty and meaningless anyway, most of the time (except for when he can use his fame to do something good, of course, which he tries to do as much as he can because otherwise, what's the point?), so in a way I think he doesn't even want to live up to people's expectations of him. He is also known for his stubbornness and righteousness, after all 😉

And yeah, in the 21st century, there isn't anyone left who knows the real him, who can grab his shoulders and shake them and tell him that it's the real Steve Rogers, that little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb to run away from a fight, who makes Cap great, that he is worth knowing and loving. That his ideas may be reckless and harebrained more often than not, but that he does what he does for the right reasons, because he is a good man first and foremost, even if others can only see a perfect soldier. He must've felt so enormously alienated and lost, those first few years 😔

While I love the idea that (most of) the Avengers would've ultimately come to understand and appreciate Steve for Steve too, the way things stood at the beginning of TWS, they definitely weren't there yet (thank god for Sam, who at least tried). Which is why I adore the kind of fics in which Bucky, after he comes back, is not only cared for and helped to get back to himself by Steve, but in which he also gets to care for and help Steve to get back to himself in return ❤️ Mutual healing, that's my jam 💫

And yes, Steve Rogers is actually a huuuugely layered and complex and interesting and underrated character, and I will die on that hill!!! The MCU unfortunately did not explore any of this nearly enough (in fact, they cut some of the scenes that would've been the most telling when it came to the state of mind he was in) and they massively oversimplified his character development for the sake of action/tony/heteronormativity/etc. I'll always wish we'd have gotten to see more of Steve's motivations and character in the movies, but I'll also always be grateful that fanfiction has given us what the MCU didn't dare, and a thousand times over too! ❤️

[rhiannonsknife]

kind of projecting here but mmm rhiannon with someone who’s in a similar situation to her. feeling invisible, like nobody sees them blah blah blah. one day she sees them and she can physically feel the loneliness and makes it her mission to make them feel seen and loved. like she just gets it because she’s going through the exact same thing

idk lol just kinda been having a hard time lately and the only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that rhiannon lewis feels the exact same way 😭😭

- 🦔

i received this request and immediately got to work!! i hope you’re doing okay 🦔 anon <3

i think rhiannon generally has a tendency to notice the rather quiet people, feeling safer and drawn to those around her who are in a similar situation.

she is no stranger to being overlooked, and that’s exactly why she notices you. it’s in the way you linger at the edge of conversations, the quiet sighs you think no one hears, and the tired smile you wear when you think you’re unseen.

and because she’s made it her mission to protect people from bullies, she decides she might as well try and make you feel seen.

her first approach is subtle. rhiannon starts with small gestures: asking how your day is going, sharing a joke when no one else is paying attention. the little cracks in her aloof persona are intentional, her way of showing that she’s listening. that there is someone who cares to hear your thoughts in a conversation or wants to know how you’ve been doing lately.

this could also be the beginning of her obsession with you…she’s always finding excuses to be around you: rhiannon always seems to be where you are, but never in an overbearing way. she’ll linger near your desk, offer to grab you coffee, or just happen to “run into you” when you look like you need a break. the second she sees someone dismiss you or talk over you, she’s stepping in with a sharp quip and a fiery glare. “funny how they always seem to forget the smartest person in the room,” she says, casually sliding into the seat next to you.

her goal to make sure you never feel invisible again leads to rhiannon genuinely giving this her all. she makes a point of complimenting the things others always overlook. the way you word an email, your handwriting, or even the way your voice softens when you’re passionate about something. it doesn’t take long until she’s no longer purposefully doing it. it’s not like any of it is untrue, but in the beginning she has to try and point them out whereas, over time, it becomes a natural instinct. a habit. you walk in a room and rhiannon notices a hundred different things she would want to compliment.

it’s not often that she feels comfortable enough to connect with somebody, but it comes just as natural as the compliments with you.

rhiannon’s not the best with words, so she shows her care through actions too!! leaving a note on your desk that says, “saw this and thought of you” with a small trinket or snack attached. or remembering an offhand comment about your favorite book and showing up with a fully annotated version one day.

she’s not overly touchy either. while she craves physical touch more than anything, rhiannon obviously doesn’t want to overstep. still, the way she brushes her hand against yours or playfully nudges you feels deliberate. the first time she hugs you, rhiannon is tentative and cautious, scared to do anything wrong. that is, until you hug her back. then, rhiannon never wants to let you go again. you, on the other hand, learn that she gives her best hugs ever.

rhiannon really is the only one who makes your days bearable. whenever you doubt yourself, she’s the first to remind you of your worth. “i see you,” she says softly, her voice carrying a conviction that makes your chest ache. “you’re brilliant, and anyone who doesn’t notice that is an idiot!”

in seeing you, rhiannon gets to heal a part of herself too!! <3 the care she shows you helps her realize how much she’s been craving that same attention and affection. and slowly, the two of you become each other’s biggest supporter!! whether it’s coffee breaks, late-night drives when she offers to take you home, or even sitting in comfortable silence, it all becomes a reminder that you’re never alone anymore, that you’ve got rhiannon’s support no matter what! when you let your guard down about your struggles, she’s the one who listens like her life depends on it. she’ll shyly take your hand and give it a gentle squeeze. “i’m here,” she says softly. “i’ll always be here.”

[dangermousie]

Best kdrama you have probably never heard of - Someday (2006)

"I can't breathe because my heart is filled with thoughts of you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."

Answering the ask about my perfect kdramas made me think of and want to make a pusher post for the most underrated drama on that list Someday, starring Bae Doona, Lee Jin Wook, Kim Min Joon and Oh Yoon Ah.

When she was 17, Hana (Bae Doona), a Korean brought up in Japan by her grandmother, won a prestigious award and was launched on a career as a popular manga artist in Japan. The same day Hana was launched on her path to popularity and fame, Seokman (Lee Jin Wook) was having the worst day of his life -- he and his family were involved in a car crash, leaving him the only survivor. Fast forward three years or so and the paths of Hana, now a well-known mangaka who is facing a creative drought, and Seokman, now a sort of a missing-persons detective, are about to collide.

This is both an old drama (2006) and also one released on OCN back when it was just starting, so even back when I originally watched it 15 years ago, it was not well known. It's such a pity - this one is on my Top 10 kdramas list of all time for a reason. There are so many reasons as to why this deserves to be better known - it has a delicious off-beat vibe and in some ways it reminds me on an old school jdrama with its realistic feel and its meditation on life; but it retains old school kdrama strengths of romance and suffering and gorgeous cinematography. Its love story, which made me cry and cry and then grin like a lunatic and hug my pillows - it's so unexpected and sneaks up on you and then grabs and refuses to let go. Its stories of alienation and connections and families lost and found and made. Its laid-back charm which lures you in until you, all relaxed, are whacked with the darkness at the core, and are left gasping for breath (full disclosure - this drama made me cry more than once.)

It is also a chance for you to see some wonderful performances. The always sublime Bae Doona is well...sublime, as the quirky Hana who has locked her capacity for warmth and caring far away due to childhood loss - when the story starts she is almost an alien dropped among those weird humans - curious, exploratory, and oh-so-different. One of the biggest pleasures of the drama is to watch her learn to become fully human - to feel compassion, to feel love. Lee Jin Wook is one of my huge kdrama crushes and he doesn't disappoint, playing his character with so much sweetness that you get lulled into a false sense of security and don't realize just how much damage and despair Seokman has inside, until you are confronted with it, and then go "of course - it all makes sense now." His chemistry with Bae Doona is just so pitch-perfect - their whole relationship is so full of discovery and hope and tentativeness for both of them. You can't help but root for these two very damaged people to work it out and heal each other. She has no emotions but he has no hope or self-worth - and the biggest pleasure for me was to watch both of them recover what they lack. The drama Someday reminds me of most is my favorite twdrama, Mars - the two horribly damaged protagonists with vastly different coping mechanisms make each other better. It goes dark sometimes, terribly dark, but ultimately it's the story of new beginnings and of hope.

Kim Min Joon and Oh Yoon Ah are not secondary characters in this - every member of the quartet (and they are not really a love quartet in the usual sense) is equally important. If Hana and Seokman are horribly wounded children, both KMJ and OYA play grown-ups. If you are expecting a typical older kdrama evil secondary girl, you are in for a disappointment. OYA's Hae Young is the sanest, best person in the quartet, and the one most in touch with her feelings, which include her unrequited love for her best friend Jin Pyo (KMJ). And speaking of Kim Min Joon - he plays perhaps the most controversial character in this - a psychiatrist who gloms onto Hana as a representation of his fanboy fantasies, not a real woman (he does not get to know the real Hana the way Seokman does) and who is the one most in control and delights in manipulation. But I ended up liking him nonetheless - in a way, he was caught in a bubble as much as Hana was, only this bubble was of his own willful making.

My favorite scene? Because I am a sadist, it's the sequence leading to Seokman's suicide attempt (it's either that or he gets done in, due to the debts) - his counting how many minutes he has left and getting his math wrong, his visiting the hospital and tying up all the loose ends, his scene on the river bank with Hana, his suicide attempt itself, when he walks off limping and muttering "stupid stupid stupid" not able to think of anything but that he failed.

This drama is SO GOOD and SO UNDERRATED and really should be watched.

[whispersofthepurplevalley]

31 lessons learnt in 31 years

1. It's always words combined with actions. Mere words without any expression cannot keep a delicate thread of a relationship lasting forever.

2. As long as you know what your intentions are, you do not owe anyone any explanation about it. The sceptical ones will always judge, the right ones will always get.

3. Healing begins with telling your inner child that he or she deserves more than they are forced to believe. It begins by befriending the lost child within you.

4. Not even the grief of death lasts forever. Every pain comes with an expiry date.

5. Success has nothing to do with where you stand in the social hierarchy.

6. It takes more than just information and books to learn and memorize the true nature of life.

7. The purpose of life is to die without any regrets.

8. Freedom is not moral degradation. Freedom is being able to set boundaries going against cheap temptations.

9. Hustle culture is the biggest enemy of a meaningful society. It teaches you to forget the innate calmness you are born with. It makes you believe you are not enough and you have to be at a certain place to be worth happiness.

10. Read. Read a lot. Not to copy ideas. But to recognise what your true beliefs are.

11. Flow with the fleetingness of it all. You only have control over the way you dance on the boat, not over the places the current takes you to.

12. Respect is earned. It's a precious gift. Don't give it to anyone just because you are told to. Have your own scale to measure who is worth it.

13. Pause often. Listen to yourself with the same patience you show around your loved ones.

14. Pick a cause that stirs your soul, and give your life to it. Remain consistent. It's how you give your life the substance.

15. Make friends with the knowledge that they will leave when their reason for crossing your fate is met. Make forever out of little moments. Permanence is a lie.

16. Let go. You are only so much space. For something new to come, something unworthy has to go.

17. Do everything to stop the virus of arrogance, inequality, indifference and objectification from passing onto the next generation. Be the change you couldn't enjoy.

18. You don't lose anything in life. You only return what was given to you to take care for a while.

19. The ones who cannot face the truth mock the truth.

20. Connect with the real world. Reclaim the natural. The digital world is a myth the moment you shut off the screen.

21. Take time to think of pretty things. You become what you frequently think about.

22. Only fools live on the extremes. The wise ones understand that humans are vulnerable to change. They are always flexible and ready to learn and adapt.

23. Forgive and forget. You are a sinner too.

24. Every bad event comes with a lesson. Make sure to pick it the first time. Misery repeats until you learn.

25. Be careful with the intake of information. Every information is life changing. Not every change is for the good.

26. Sleep on time. And sleep well. The peace you search for everywhere is in self-discipline.

27. Laugh a lot. When you really see, you will always have more things to be grateful for compared to what is lost.

28. Meditate. Pray. Hear the unheard. Silence speaks only to the true seekers.

29. Allow yourself to feel everything without judging the feelings. Be reasonable instead. Keep what makes your heart beat in a beautiful rhythm. Discard what disturbs the healthy pace.

30. Take care of your body if you want your mind to take care of your soul. Be the bridge that connects your mind, body and soul to empower your existence.

31. When you are caged nowhere, you are free to reside everywhere.

© Sabina Yesmin

[jaysbraindump]

Dead Boy Detectives characters as Sleeping At Last songs: a very long post

Edwin – Nine

Who am I to say what any of this means I have been sleepwalking Since I was fourteen Now as I write my song I retrace my steps Honestly, it’s easier To let myself forget Still, I check my vital signs Choked up, I realize I’ve been less than half myself For more than half my life

Wake up Fall in love again Wage war on gravity There’s so much worth fighting for you’ll see Another domino falls Either way It looks like empathy To understand all sides But I’m just trying to find myself Through someone else’s eyes So show me what to do To restart this heart of mine How do I forgive myself For losing so much time?

Charles – Eight

I wanna break these bones 'til they're better I wanna break them right and feel alive You were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong My healing needed more than time When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things I see the familiar I was little, I was weak, I was perfect too Now I'm a broken mirror But I can't let you see all that I have to lose All I've lost in the fight to protect it I can't let you in, I swore never again I can't afford to let myself be blindsided I'm standing guard, I'm falling apart And all I want is to trust you Show me how to lay my sword down For long enough to let you through

Here I am, pry me open What do you wanna know? I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut And bury my innocence But here's a map, here's a shovel Here's my Achilles' heel I'm all in, palms out, I'm at your mercy now and I'm ready to begin I am strong, I am strong, I am strong enough To let you in

Crystal – Smell

Is this the part where the brain scan shows where memories reside? Some ambiguous shape in me, suddenly producing light Triggered like a trip wire every time I breathe it in Isn't it strange that a lilac tree is what unlocks where I've been? Like a time machine rebuilds the past My memories return Like remembering the ashes before they burn It is the friction that lights a match Desperate attempts that make it last So I hold my breath for as long as I can But before long, the wind swells in I started a fight I could never win But I will hold on as long as I can

Niko – Some Kind of Heaven

I'm having trouble sleeping Keep thinking my phone's ringing I wake in a panic, what's wrong now? Nervous system's acting up I'm worried it's forever messed up Now being awake feels unsafe Please, help me remember The voice of my mother Reminding me everything's okay

She deeply believed it

Just a little longer Everything will make sensе Broken things will be remadе But what about the meantime? How do I ignore the signs That one day, everything I love will fade?

Monty – Wave After Wave

Wave after wave, I'm more afraid It's been a hard year, it's been a high tide I can make it make sense, but my body decides I keep telling myself again and again It's been a hard year, healing takes time Routine test results, I'm probably fine I know better I know better But it doesn't really matter My body decides One part at a time I am the sail, the plank The mast that breaks and gets replaced I am remade, repaired, reshaped But somehow still the same Even after every cell in my body changed I know my name

Jenny – Homesick

You spend your whole life Just to remember the sound When the world was brighter Before we learned to dim it down Call it survival Call it the freedom of wills; Where breath is borrowed Our compass needle stands still Our resignation only comes on beaten paths

When the world was flat We dreamt of its edges… If love’s elastic, then were we born to test its reach? Is it buried treasure Or just a single puzzle piece

The Cat King – To Be Enchanted

I see longing in its eyes I can't quite put my finger on it There's just something about its face That makes me sad It's as much afraid as it's haunted I've never related more To anything or anyone before I can't explain it Politely, I asked, "Are you real?" It said, "Here, let me prove it" It placed its hand in my hand And neither one of us could feel it "Don't kill the messenger", it begged "You're alive, quit acting like you're dead" Like a mirror, it spoke so clear "Don't you recognize the reason why you're here?"

[maoam]

How do you feel about Yutamaki?

Well despite being a het ship it's not bad.

They are written to have a rather similar desire, which is wanting to prove it's okay for them to live in this world. But they go about it in opposite ways. Yuta fights for others and expects them to provide him a reason, while Maki fights for herself, trying to prove she has worth despite her family telling her otherwise. Naturally, their weaknesses are also opposites. Yuta relies on others too much, while Maki pushes others away (this culminates in her relationship with Mai). What Yuta needs is to learn to trust himself and his decisions, and what Maki needs is to learn to be vulnerable. This is something Toji needed as well. He started to heal thanks to Mamagumi, but her death made him spiral again, and he turned his back on his son despite we know he clearly did love him. Because his coping mechanism was the absolute independence, strength and lack of vulnerability, to prove himself to those who rejected him. Which is Maki's coping mechanism as well. Just like Toji turned his back on his son, the person that was his last thought both times he died, the one he named "Blessing", Maki turned her back on Mai, the person she considers her heart. Hopefully Maki is able to overcome this coping mechanism. She has better chance thankfully thanks to the support of so many people. Hopefully, Yuta and Maki can continue learning from each others strengths to balance their own weaknesses.

As for their dynamic. Maki softened up to Yuta because he can be humble and sweet, something her family certainly wasn't, but also dedicated to his work as a sorcerer.

Going from this

To this. In just one volume. At the beginning she really couldn't stand him and was really harsh on him. But he proved himself to her. Their development when it came to respecting and liking each other felt believable and genuine. I mean they had more development when it came to a dynamic in 4 chapters than SS/NH had in 700 chapters of Naruto lol.

And Yuta does give Maki that validation and acknowledgement she's been deprived of. She has had to work really hard her whole life, with everyone around her telling her she's not good enough. So I'm not surprised she'd soften for someone like Yuta who is not afraid to admire her and look up to her, and is also so genuine about it.

And it's not like the admiration doesn't go both ways. According to Gege Maki now considers Yuta an awesome bean sprout (lol). Maki is also the one who makes Yuta confront his issues and gives him the motivation to conquer them in volume 0.

There was also Panda's comment on how Maki is softer when Yuta is around that feels like ship tease to me. So it's very possible she likes Yuta.

Generally they really seem to enjoy each others company and they really admire and respect each other. So the ship does have solid basis. Something a ship like Gojo/hime could only dream of having. There is also the hope Yuta can continue to help Maki coping with life in a healthier way, despite the fact Maki has so many regrets.

[eliteseven]

What are your thoughts on Shadowheart in terms of her character? Her feelings towards Tav and her self-esteem?

Shadowheart: Self Esteem & Feelings towards Tav:

Short(er) version:

Shadowheart is complex and so interesting. She can be caustic, witty, dry and seemingly detached- or she can be the most loving person you've ever known. She's confident- we now know much of that was born of her Sharran upbringing, but she's willful because of her parents. She's defiant, playful around those she trusts, and has a great capacity for love. She's a healer at heart- though honed as a weapon, there is no greater joy for her than being able to mend wounds, to take away pain, even though it's all she's known for so long. She's broken, at times, but healing beautifully now.

Her relationship with Tav is founded upon trust (and a LOT of physical attraction, to boot). Tav is the only person who managed to breach her walls while she was still serving Shar. Tav has laid her own life on the line for Shadowheart (and her parents) countless times. Shadowheart plays coy and flirtatious, but there is a deep internal voice that tells her she's lucky Tav considers her worthy of her love. Romantically, Shadowheart is absolutely enamored with Tav. The more she learns about Tav's upbringing, the more protective she becomes. I think she's keenly aware of the fact that she and her parents are Tav's only true family, aside from her mother all the way in Cormyr.

Long (writer's) version lol:

I think Shadowheart is a layered, complex character! We have “Jenevelle”, if you will, at her core. Traits she picked up from her parents, even if she doesn’t inherently remember everything: her kindness, her proclivity to caring for animals and the weak, even her sense of humor (finger guns after the night orchid joke lol). I feel like life in the cloister had her suppressing these traits to an almost painful extent. Her memory may have been wiped, but her instincts do not change so easily. She’s witty, she’s even fun-loving, she’s outspoken. She’s willful, stubborn, and often sees the best in people.

And then we have “Shadowheart”- or the traits she developed as a result of life in the cloister. Some are actually beneficial, some not so much. Life in the cloister makes her cynical, sly, defensive, secretive, even if also incredibly adept at defending herself. It gives her “bite” to her personality, as well as a sense of arrogance.

In the first Acts, we see more of Shadowheart, but Jenevelle bleeds through. It’s clear by Act 2 that she’s developed enough of a rapport/trust with Tav that her true nature begins to show.

I think when she was a practicing Sharran, she lived under the guise of false self-esteem. She ascribed worth to herself based on how well she could heed the Dark Lady’s orders. Now that she’s free, she struggles with reconciling deeds she’s committed in the past. Though it isn’t her fault explicitly, I think she carries much guilt for what she became. Now, living her life in service to her parents, to all their animals, and to her beloved Tav- I think she sees her life as simple, bucolic, but worth so much more. She can be proud of this life, without shame. She can reconcile Jenevelle and Shadowheart, and be the best of both of them.

Her Feelings towards Tav:

Tav is a vital piece to Shadowheart’s overall growth. Initially, she’s attracted to Tav and thinks little of her or that fact- beyond staring when she thinks Tav isn’t looking. Just another pretty girl who's surprisingly good with a blade, in her eyes. In the early weeks, they argue. A lot. Shadowheart is particularly vicious when she gets wind that Tav came from nobility. And then something strange happens- Shadowheart finds herself looking forward to arguing with Tav, just to spend more time with her. She watches Tav give her own food and water to Tiefling refugees- She rolls her eyes at the “weakness” displayed and then goes to hide her smile in her tent and repent in prayer.

Tav is the most selfless person Shadowheart knows. Tav cares more about Emmeline and Arnell than Shadowheart can fathom. She’s constantly looking for ways to make up for lost time, constantly looking for ways to help Shadowheart’s memory. She doesn’t sleep if Shar’s mark is causing Shadowheart pain. Shadowheart has never been the love of anyone’s life-until now.

Shadowheart is madly in love. Tav’s her best friend, her partner. Tav helped speak sense into her, helped her see reason, light, love in the midst of Shar’s scheme for her. Tav saw through her, saw Jenevelle and Shadowheart, and gave herself completely to both of them.

[lola-andheruniverse]

Caryl Fanfiction Recs - Celebrating single-fic authors (part 1)

Happy Sunday, dear fellow carylers! Today I bring you the first part of a list that I have been preparing for some time.

Every fandom has its big stars: incredible gifmakers who everyone recognizes their work from a distance; amazing artists who draw fanart and edit fanvideos that deserve to be in a museum; and talented and prolific fanfic authors who are better storytellers than the actual canonical writers/creators. All of them deserve all the praise and love in the world, but, in reality, even the most popular ones don't get the feedback they truly deserve. Now, what about those fans who only create one thing for the fandom? Just one art, one video, one analysis, one fic? Where are the compliments for them?

So this list it's a way to rectify that for single-fic caryl authors. I hope a little bit of love reaches them wherever they are. Thank you for contributing to our fandom!

1. Wait by acaryler [ 9Lives ]

Summary: A new day only begins when the darkness goes away.

Rated: G

Word count: 814

Published: February 22, 2017 (one-shot, contains character death)

2. This is Who We Are by CarylLover [ 9Lives | AO3 | FF.net ]

Summary: Aaron is badly injured and, after the attack of The Wolves, the group at ASZ is left vulnerable. Daryl needs to go out to find more people, but he can't go alone. He chooses Carol to go with him. This time together will revive some painful memories for Carol and confessions will be made. But will they only come from Carol? Does Daryl have a dark secret too?

Rated: M

Word count: 10.490 (05 chapters)

Published: May 31, 2015 (complete)

3. Weeping Statue by Evilangel [ 9Lives ]

Summary: She watched silently from the shadows.

Rated: T

Word count: 151

Published: January 22, 2016 (one-shot)

4. Contently Broken by FloraDora [ 9Lives ]

Summary: Following the deaths of Beth and Tyreese, Carol's concern for Daryl grows as he continues to distance himself from the group, clearly struggling with his grief. Carol attempts to reach out to him which results in a very emotional encounter.

Rated: T

Word count: 1.410

Published: March 17, 2015 (one-shot)

5. We belong by Ithil [ 9Lives ]

Summary: Daryl helps Carol to start healing after the events of 5.16. Inspired by Ryan Adams' song I love you but I don't know what to say.

Rated: T

Word count: 1.622

Published: June 24, 2015 (one-shot)

6. Doors by @jtsbar [ 9Lives | AO3 ]

Summary: Daryl before he opens the door.

Rated: T

Word count: 513

Published: August 16, 2014 (one-shot)

7. Felicity by Lesoni [ 9Lives ]

Summary: He hoped that she would understand him like she always seemed to do. That she was his woman-his Carol. The woman that he'd learned to love more than he loved anyone else-especially himself-because it had been her that had shown him how much he was actually worth. He was trying to give her that back. He damn near worshipped her, and she needed to know that.

Rated: E

Word count: 2.787

Published: April 23, 2016 (one-shot)

8. New Habits by LouWho88 [ 9Lives ]

Summary: Daryl and Carol have stuck with their usual habits while becoming roomates in Alexandria even as their relationship has been growing. However, on this particular morning it seems as though Daryl has developed a new habit and Carol hope it sticks. 

Rated: T

Word count: 1.238

Published: May 02, 2016 (one-shot)

[azraeldoesnotdispute]

crusades era joenicky recs

dana asked me to make a crusades era joenicky fic rec list when I mentioned how much I loved them so that no one would rec me what I had already read, so here you go (apologies, I can’t get the read more to work)

The Stiff Heart

I ALWAYS love dana’s fics and it was just by chance that hers was the first one that popped up in my search. This has them having already established a truce and working together to find ‘the dream women’, but it has such a lovely build up to when they get together, sprinkled with plenty of UST and world building as they learn more about each other and dashes of them coming together to a truce.

The Favored Son(s)

Crusade era Yusuf and Nicolo are transported to current time and the boys, Joe in particular, have a hard time reconciling who they were with the love they now share. It’s like having a slow burn, but your OTP is already there and happy together at the same time. Lots of Joe doting, which is always a bonus, and the other two learning about each other and overcoming their past.

The Land of Turquoise

The immortals dream of each other when the universe has decreed that they are not close enough to one another. Joe and Nicky start dreaming of each other a month and a half into their truce, when they are sleeping side-by-side every night in the desert. How much closer can they be?

Honestly, I can’t sum it up better than the actual summary. So much UST and trust building!!!

Ardeo In Te

Omegaverse and soulmates? My fucking JAM

Djinn’s Eyes

Man, this fucking fic. It’s so good, has so much build up and world building, learning to overcome preconceived notions and find love. I can’t even find the words, it’s such a wonderful fic.

 Lessons Exquisitely Crafted

Yusuf goes home, leaving Nicolo behind, but he can’t shake him off because these are dumbasses who are meant to be together. It takes time for them to come back together, but they do, because they’re destiny.

The Weight of Fear

mpreg fic, where they have a night of passion and then Yusuf runs away, only to learn that Nicolo is pregnant once the girls find him to kick his ass. I love the story, how Nicky’s anxieties are written, how much Joe is stressed once he finds out that he accidentally knocked him up.

Heavy with the Weight of Who We Are

Yusuf can’t shake Nicolo, no matter how hard he tries, so they’re stuck together, learning each others languages and trying to figure out how to work together despite their differences.

Beginnings, Middles, Ends

Wind_Ryder did an amazing job with this series! It showcases how PTSD can affect a person, what having someone who cares about you can do to help you heal, and wraps it up by showing that somethings don’t just magically disappear over time.

Pistachios and Rosewater

The food alone makes reading this fic worth it, all of it looks delicious and it’s worked into the story so well, showing the progress of time and how cooking can mean love.

Holiest Among The Living

 This actually has very little joenicky, but I had to include it because it shows Nicolo’s journey to understanding everything he thought was true, isn’t, and that even people you thought were good can disregard others just because they’re a different color/religion/etc

O Jerusalem

Has selective mute Nicky in it, because PTSD is a serious thing, and soft Yusuf caring enough about the man who killed him to not leave him abandoned in Jerusalem. This is definitely a story about kindness and healing.

Death is Just a Beginning

Plenty of hate and anger, and not all at each other. Includes Nicolo being found out for having revived and Yusuf saving him, but the road is paved with plenty of fighting before they find their footing and destiny.

[glitterguts13]

Do you have any favourite of hcs (any kind) of aventurine?

Oh, I have so much to say about Aventurine it's not even funny, so here comes a jumbled mix of thoughts.

TW: topics of slavery, self-harm, sexual abuse, and suicidal ideation. Please read with caution!

Aventurine struggles with genuine physical and emotional intimacy. Having been used, abused, and tortured all this life, mentally, sexually, and physically, he's grown to learn that people are to be kept at arm's length the whole time.

Because of this, Aventurine became very hyper-sexual to deal with the trauma. To him, if he starts it and stays in control, he can't be hurt. This isn't true at all, but it's the only way he knows how to handle people who start getting touchy with him because saying 'no' never worked in the past.

If someone does manage to break down his walls and form a genuine emotional bond with him...he really doesn't know what to do. He showers his partners with gifts and money, is extremely sex driven, and doesn't have any consideration for his own well-being. He's so worried about losing them, that he gives too much.

Aventurine doesn't know how to ask for things he wants. In the sense, he doesn't know how to say "Please, just hold my hand." or "Will you brush my hair?" These simple little acts of love that he desperately craves, but can't ask for because he's worried he's being needy.

For fucks sake just hold this man and remind him that his worth isn't tied to his wealth or his body.

The hand that trembles, hold it tightly and press it to your lips. He'll fall to pieces.

Aventurine is torn between desperately wanting a family and being terrified of having one. He wants a partner, children, and a home to come back to that's filled with love, warmth, and laughter...but he knows how quickly he could lose it, and just how big a target is painted on his back. It keeps him up at night, debating back and forth on if he should pursue his desire or leave it to rot like the rest of his dreams.

Topaz is the closest thing to a 'friend' he has inside of the IPC. While they're hardly besties, she's at least someone he can relax around and share a few drinks with. She's not given him any reason to distrust her, but I don't think he would ever fully rely on her either.

Has played his fair share of Russian Roulette, and leaves disappointed each time he wins.

Also, are we all just going to ignore that little tidbit where they mention he was strapped to an electric chair?? I can't even begin to imagine how that fucked him up both mentally and physically.

That being said, Aventurine has a lot of self-harm and pain-seeking tendencies. I won't go into details, but when he gets low, his mind begins to spiral and he has to find something to snap him out of it or else it just gets worse and worse until he's ready to make sure that gun is fully loaded.

He's grown better about it over the years, but he will never fully be able to heal and recover. Especially not as long as he's in the hands of the IPC. Ratio is the only one who catches wind of Aventurine's self-harming tendencies, but he doesn't have a clue on how to help him, so he keeps quiet.

The brand on his neck is a source of contention. He has the money to have it removed and covered up. He hates to see it, but in the same breath, he's almost afraid to lose it. If he does, will he lose sight of his past? Where he came from? He isn't ashamed of his past, but he also doesn't like the very clear reminder of it either. Jade makes passion comments on it often, and it makes his stomach twist everytime.

Donates obscene amounts of money to children in need. He will never let a child suffer, and while he clearly can't dismantle the entire fucked up system set in place, he's bought the contracts of many child slaves and freed them anonymously. He wants to save them all, but it just isn't possible, and it's one more thing that keeps him awake at night.

[grem-archive]

Pspsps may we ask for some romerica headcanons/thoughts? 👀👀

A great majority of these are between the esteemed @temtamtom and me! I think I accidentally converted you to Romericism Tem, so I apologize. I hope you heal soon :facedowncrying: also I am sorry in advance that there are so many. There are just as many more that I’m not including.

Romano is a respectful short king at 165 cm/5’5” next to Alfred’s 188 cm/6’2”. Poor Roma is also in an entirely different weight class; 55 kg compared to 102 kg.

“Romano dates what he can’t have (fat ass and big titties).”

“If you don’t love me like Hadrian loved Antinous it’s not worth it.”

This is 100% a Zoomer BF & Boomer BF situation. Alfred had to teach Romano how to use Zoom and FaceTime and always uses strange magic Gen Z words that leave Romano bewildered. Alfred’s “she eb on my nezer til I Scrooge” to Romano’s “look at this funny minion meme I found” (it’s 8 years outdated).

Romano loves paired dances and Alfred has a fair bit of energy. They adore swing dance and jive! When determined they’ll clear the room to listen to their old records and swing.

Related to this, they love to dance together in general and sing. They’ve made a playlist for doing their home chores when together and it’s chock full of songs both know by heart; both in English and Italian. And the amount of dancing they do to distract themselves? Immense. We’re talking a disco outbreak in the hall, Alfred starting to do the hand jive and Romano joining. They have fun.

They love watching westerns together. And I do mean love. We call Romerica “Spaghetti Western” in this house! And we’re not saying Romano has a cowboy kink, but he’s got a cowboy kink. Will find any excuse to get Alfred into some version of western wear (he’s usually pretty willing, it’s really not that hard).

Alfred lets Romano dress him up like a Ken Doll. He's just happy to be spending time with Roma, who, let's be real, has a much better fashion sense. Romano also has a history of patching up Alfred's clothes and uniforms, sometimes hiding hidden stitched hearts on the former.

They cook for each other a lot. The way to both their hearts are through their stomachs and it’s very obvious at times. Food driven to the core.

“Your cooking is going to make me fat.” Romano complains. “Y’know you don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to.” Alfred replies. Romano scrunches his nose, “Don’t tell me what to do.” He then takes another bite.

When Romano first arrived in New York, he knew very little English. On the other hand, Alfred knew very little Italian, if any. Communication was a very glaring issue in the beginning. They figured out that they both knew Spanish and could communicate that way until they taught each other more of their respective languages.

We’re not calling Alfred Romano’s sugar daddy, but hey, it doesn’t hurt when your beefcake boyfriend has a shiny credit card and makes a wonderful bag carrier :shrugs:

Romano’s common household weapons: the wooden spoon (the only actual weapon), the rolling pin (threat only), a comically large frying pan (threat only unless they’re getting up to Tom & Jerry shenanigans), and a comically long pizza paddle (for long range ass-smacking). However, Alfred has started learning to declaw the rolling pin threats by responding with “That’s so hot,” or some equivalent. Romano is having to rethink some of his battle plans.

Both are serial cuddlers when they’re together, but Romano is more confident in bolder displays of PDA and touchier overall. A hand on Alfred’s back or waist as he passes by, a kiss to the shoulder. Alfred, taking advantage of his height, loves hugging Romano from behind and resting his chin on Romano’s head.

Alfred loves to carry Romano and pick him up. Romano complains but never actually means it. In fact, he loves it but is simply a stubborn fool.

Alfred has beef with Romano’s pet rooster, Ugo. Ugo is the only force that could make Alfred F. Jones, the United States of America, run for his life. Fear the peck!

Romano is the bedtime enforcer in this relationship. Alfred’s sleep schedule is pretty shit and Romano loves his sleep (and his cuddles). When they visit each other, he often has to physically drag Alfred to bed. They also nap together, though often it’s just Romano that ends up sleeping.

Alfred is constantly fascinated with Romano’s stories from childhood or at least the Nation equivalent of such. The number of things Romano and Veneziano can remember from times far before Alfred or frequent guest Ludwig ever existed blows his mind. He’s always asking for more. It’s both his natural wonder and curiosity, but also the archaeologist in him.

Alfred F. “Hey Romano babe can I bench press you? I wanna hold you but I gotta get my workout in.” Jones. Does squats with Romano on his back. Will be doing sit-ups with Romano sitting on him so he can give him smooches on the up. Romano complains about the sweat but doesn’t actually make any moves to get up or leave.

Both are romantics in their own way, but in this dynamic, Romano is the one who typically initiates the moment. Alfred is usually the one who ruins the moment with a joke but in the most affectionate way possible. He’s embarrassing, but he’s Romano’s.

Alfred and Ludwig have made their own joint study of the way Romano and Veneziano use their hands when they speak. I wish I had their notes.

Over time they’ve learned each other’s old full names and use them. Not that they have much of an effect, it’s more a silly than anything. But it is still a jumpscare. Alfred Fly-from-Fornication Kirkland versus Publius Romilius Romanus Regillus. Who wins?

If they encounter some bullshit together in public, Romano is the “I’m going to kick your ass.” Alfred is the “And I’m about to hand him the chair.” That, or he’s picking Romano up and carrying him away.

[bishicat]

I am curious...👀

What are your Lavellan's views on Solas beginning of their relationship and the final end to the redemption arc in Veil Guard? Love your art btw❤

Hi!!! omg thank you for the question, and people like you make posting art worth it! This is gonna be a long rambling answer so I'll tuck it under the cut. ❤

BEGINNING:

When I think of Emrys and Solas' relationship at the start of Inquisition (like Haven times), her view of him started off pretty neutrally. She saw him as an equal in intellect and magic know-how, and it comforted her to know that she wasn't the only elf in the party. I can imagine her developing a bit of a crush during their discussions about history, magic, or the Fade, but she kept her feelings on a short leash. His opinions about the Dalish made her more reserved about her own feelings, as she wanted someone who would accept all of her, rather than just the parts he liked. I think she saw through his harmless old man persona quite early, even if only in the sense that he was hiding something that he wasn't comfortable sharing. She liked the parts that he thought no one could see, like his quiet kindness. They would clash a few times (both being prideful), and after their intense debates, she would think they were finally going to do something about this weird energy, but he would just walk away. So in short, their dynamic was "nerds arguing but with sexual tension".

SKYHOLD:

This is where whatever icy barriers they had against each other melted and became real love :'). Though aware that he's still holding her at arm's length, she thought their love would get through whatever came their way. I think they have a lot of conversations about this subject, but he always finds some way to steer the conversation elsewhere.

I think she was caught completely unaware when he ended things at Crestwood. She was mad, confused, heartbroken, literally everything and more. The dialogue option "Tell me I was some casual dalliance..." gets me every single time!!!! It's the perfect mix between hurt and anger, and it fits Emrys' character SO well. After the break up, she tries to be professional (AKA too stoic & serious around him) but her inner circle (and Solas) can see how much she's imploding inside. She still works with him as a colleague but she can't stand looking at him without feeling like there's a gaping hole in her chest.

TRESPASSER - VEILGUARD:

After two years, the gaping hole heals into an ugly, knotted scar. When she hears the rumour that Solas is around, it feels bittersweet, cause how can you get over a relationship that ended like that? When she learns he's Fen'harel, it puts a lot of things into perspective. She feels toyed with, she hates him, but she still loves him. Like... two years of "healing" is undone with a short meeting, and a part of her will always wonder what could have been if he just talked to her about it. In the end I chose the "I will redeem you!" ending.

Honestly, I imagine that a lot of solavellan post-romance is just a lot of healing and breaking on both ends (Solas and Emrys). With every new piece of information they learn, their hearts need to learn how to mend all over again. And I'm not saying that Emrys is going to be a husk in all those years between DAI and DATV, but a part of her will feel rubbed raw during that time. It's hard to say right now but I picture her on a relentless search for the Dread Wolf, always inquisitive. As for Veilguard, I can see Emrys as bone-tired when she finally catches up to him. I'd like to imagine a sad embrace between the two, some tears, but a terse meeting is just as likely. Between the two of them, there's gonna be a lot of quiet yearning and sadness, and maybe even a small bit of hope? She'd still love him and we all know/like to think that Solas is still so down bad, but they'd put duty over talking about their feelings for now. I think when they finally have a truly private moment, they make up somehow. I truly hope they have some kind of happy ending, whatever it may be!