#who is absolutely the perfect audience for doctor who

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SONIC 3 REVIEW

I wanted to wait a few weeks to give many people the chance to see Sonic 3 before I wrote a review, but of course I'll keep it under the cut for those who still haven't seen it.

DISCLAIMERS!

I acknowledge that the Sonic Cinematic Universe is a SEPARATE interpretation of the Sonic franchise so I will never dock it points for doing things different than we've seen in the games. These movies are inspired by the Sonic the Hedgehog video games, they are not direct adaptations. I have no sympathy for anyone who complains these movies get things 'wrong' about the games.

I acknowledge that the Sonic movies are family films marketed towards children, so some of the writing and plot devices are simplified or toned down for younger audiences. However, that won't stop me from pointing out some plot holes.

My review is just my opinion. I'm not saying I'm right or that you're wrong if you disagree.

I'm so damn excited to finally talk about it and I have SO MUCH to say, so buckle up!

TL;DR: I give Sonic 3 a score of 9/10, just barely shy of being an absolutely perfect movie! There were some editing choices and some plot holes that made me dock minor points. These nitpicks are small and almost insignificant compared to the whole of the film, but they stood out enough to bother me and they're why I can't give it a perfect rating.

Let's start with the positives.

CAST & CHARACTERS - 10/10

TL;DR - With a star-studded cast, it's almost impossible to say any one actor/character outshined the others. Every single person was on their A-game for this movie and gave emotional, hilarious, all-out performances.

Jim Carrey as both Ivo and Gerald Robotnik is genius! He plays both characters so differently that you could almost believe they were being played by two different people -- minus the tongue-in-cheek way the movie reminds you that they're the same person.

This iteration of Gerald is unlike any we've seen before, which kept me on my toes the entire time I was watching. He comes onto the scene fully claiming that he's a villain, but still he manages to suckerpunch you (and Ivo) with the final reveal of his ultimate plan. You would think that the same old man who was just doing a choreographed dance performance 20 minutes ago couldn't tear your heart out without even the use of words when we see him mourning the loss of his granddaughter, and then fill you with spine-chilling terror as he uses his whole chest to exclaim he's going to 'burn it all down!', but damn did Jim Carrey do that and more! This movie (and Jim Carrey alike) managed to make Gerald both the major comic relief of the movie AND simultaneously made him one of the most despicable villains in the franchise so far. His utter lack of compassion for Shadow or Ivo, using both of them as his puppets, really shows you how little this man values even those who are supposed to be closest to him. I encourage you to rewatch the movie and really appreciate the dynamic range we were given of this character in under a 2 hour window.

Ivo is back and better than ever, baby (despite what Tails says)! Though I liked the initial, unexpected take on his character in Sonic 1, it has been beyond satisfying to see the evil doctor's descent into madness, all culminating into THE Eggman we recognize from the games! Seeing him in the iconic Eggman suit was like seeing my baby in her gown for prom. I was one proud mama! Sonic 3 sends Ivo on an emotional rollercoaster and we not only get to see him the silliest he's ever been, but your heart truly breaks for him by the end of the film. Honestly, I'm still gutted over Gerald's "Ivo, you're no Maria" line! One thing I particularly loved is that repeatedly throughout this franchise, Ivo has mentioned how society has always rejected him, he's had nobody who loves him (except Stone ofc) and he's repeatedly reminded he's a failure. Yet at the end of this film, he's given the chance to live up to his real potential and Team Sonic (and Shadow (and all of Earth while we're at it)) wouldn't have stood a chance without him. With Ivo seemingly dead, this was a heartfelt, tearjerking, beautiful sendoff for Eggman in a way that doesn't feel forced and gives Jim Carrey the chance to excuse himself should he decide he no longer wants to be a part of the future movies. BUT if he does decide to come back (and it's sounding like he does) -- c'mon, y'all don't really think Shadow would have just left Eggman to die, do you? He absolutely could have teleported them both outta there at the last minute.

SHADOW. 👏👏👏 This was without a doubt, the BEST depiction of Shadow I have ever seen! Keanu Reeves and the animators put everything into this rendition of Shadow and I was moved to tears on several occasions. This movie gave us an emotional, heartbroken Shadow who doesn't mask his feelings. Even before losing Maria, we see that Shadow is someone who struggles with understanding who he is, where he comes from and what his purpose is. He's subjected to constant testing and when he's not 'in use,' he's seemingly stowed away in the dark for later. It isn't until Maria shows up and befriends him that we get to see that he's just a regular person. He's curious about music and dancing, he enjoys play and stargazing, he's self-conscious. And then the transformation he takes after being betrayed and losing his loved ones, UGH! Keanu Reeves freaking NAILS it in every single scene! One of the moments that stood out the most to me and physically gave me goosebumps was when Shadow begins to question if destroying the planet is what Maria would have wanted and Gerald convinces him to focus on the pain that was left from her death. When Shadow's charging the Eclipse Cannon and reliving the most devastating moment of his life, you can hear his rage just in the way he's breathing! Keanu Reeves doesn't even speak any words in that scene but I could feel every drop of anger and regret and hatred in his performance. But also he delivered some very funny lines too and at least to me, it didn't feel forced. I also really liked that Keanu Reeves did research for this character and actually 'created' a voice for Shadow instead of using his normal voice. (I strongly recommend watching this clip where he talks about how he came up with 'the voice'. It's fascinating and such a delight). I think a lot of people might have initially thought having him voice Shadow was cool but kind of a joke, but he took the role very seriously and I feel he made an effort to separate himself from Shadow. His voice scratched my brain in the most satisfying way lol. I wish he could permanently voice Shadow from now on, but at least I can always imagine his voice whenever I read or play any Shadow content. Also, Shadow's character model was GOR-GEOUS. He was so handsome and badass and also I love, love, LOVE the amount of contrast between him and Sonic. EVEN DOWN TO THE DETAILS IN THE TEXTILES OF THEIR GLOVES. Sonic's gloves appear to be cotton so they're soft and warm and porous -- a fabric that comforts and lets things in. Shadow's gloves are leather -- a fabric that's firm, resistant, impenetrable. SO MUCH thought and detail went into designing Shadow. AND SUPER SHADOW OH MYGOOOODDDDDDDD. He looked like an angel! I have always loved Super Shadow's platinum design in the games, but giving him the extra detail of iridescent and rose gold quills in the movie was so freaking beautiful. I truly can't fault a single thing about him in this movie. A thousand kisses to Keanu Shadow.

TEAM SONIC. That's right, I'm addressing the group here because this movie really treated each member of Team Sonic as equals and I loved it. Sonic may be the leader, but Knuckles packed this movie full of action, heart and laughs. Idris Elba and the writers found a great balance for Knuckles in that he delivered what I thought were some of the funniest lines of the film, but it didn't lessen the impact of his more serious scenes. When Knuckles is arguing with Sonic about using the Chaos Emeralds, there is so much tension and I feel like they really nailed the gravity of that fight. Knuckles ultimately chooses not to battle Sonic, but I felt that him reminding Sonic of their oath and pointing out that Sonic is breaking it was actually MORE of a punishment than a punch to the face. We also really got to see Knuckles 'THE GUARDIAN" in this movie which I greatly appreciated. We see a lot of Knuckles "the fighter" where he's quick to throw fists, but there were many moments in Sonic 3 where he got to serve as a proper protector. I cried when he caught Sonic and Tails and even after they're safe he's just holding them, the three of them a battered mess in the cornfield! AH MY HEART!

Speaking of my heart-- Tails you good boy! Tails showed so much growth between Sonic 2 and Sonic 3 and I was so proud of him! He's still cute as can be and still has moments of childlike wonder, but he played a significantly larger role in this movie and showed a lot of maturity. He's quick to come up with plans but he is also actually in the action instead of shouting from the sidelines. I also really liked that during the bleakest part of the film, it's actually Tails who is trying to console Sonic about what's happened to Tom. You know things are bad when it's the baby sibling who attempts to be the emotionally strong one and comfort the older sibling. And I love that it's Tails and Knuckles who help Ivo to steer the Eclipse Cannon away from the Earth. It would have been easy to just sideline them and have them hope that Super Sonic and Super Shadow could handle things, but that diminishes the value of Team Sonic. The movie made it very clear that their teamwork is what made them so strong and it was through all of their combined efforts that the Earth was saved in the end. Sonic and Shadow could not have done it alone, even with the combined power of the Chaos Emeralds. I feel like a broken record by saying this but it has to be said: Colleen O'Shaughnessey killed it as Tails yet again. Go queen!

This might come as a surprise to some, but the Sonic in this movie is my favorite we've seen throughout the SCU franchise so far. I have heard people criticize that Sonic was a little 'boring' or 'underwhelming' during the first 2 acts of the movie, but I actually perceived that as intentional by design. At this point in Sonic's life, he's used to the whole hero thing. He's saved the world multiple times by now so it makes sense to me that he's become complacent and doesn't really take the time to consider how potentially dangerous a threat can be (I mean think about it, he nearly gets lasered-to-death via the forcefield at G.U.N. Headquarters just because he had to be a silly goof and do a tour of London NOW of all times! Yes it's funny and in-character and I still loved that scene ((and loved that it gave Tails a shining moment to save him)), but c'mon Sonic you almost fucked up the entire plan because you just had to do your goofy thing!). So when Shadow shows up and kicks his ass not once, but MULTIPLE times--and then he nearly loses his father figure TWICE--it serves as a rude awakening. He learns that there is a price to pay for being blasé, underestimating the gravity of a situation and not sticking to a plan, and that's where he dramatically overcompensates and goes on a vengeful arc. And vengeful Sonic is FUCKING. FANTASTIC. I think we as an audience can forget how lethal Sonic can be because he's normally so playful and silly, so to see him lock in and not hold back is actually pretty terrifying (but in a great way!). Ben Schwartz was AMAZING in this portion of the movie. I find him to be one of the funniest comedians on the planet, but I couldn't believe it was the same guy during this act. He dug deep and gave such a compelling performance full of anguish and hatred that I honestly didn't realize he was capable of. But most importantly--he was able to rein it in when it mattered most and Sonic didn't lose himself before it was too late. Sonic is not a perfect character, but one of the things that makes him such a great hero is that he always manages to hold on to the light that's inside of him. I always appreciate Sonic's motivational speeches and I loved that when he's having the heart-to-heart with Shadow, the emphasis is about who you are and the good that comes from the love you have for others. It's heavy and important but was delivered in a way that was easily digestible for younger viewers without diminishing the meaning of the message. However, what I found even more moving in this scene was the moment of silence that Sonic and Shadow share on the moon. It was so poignant and I'm glad they held that moment of stillness and quiet. By the end of the movie, we do get our loveable Sonic back but he acknowledges the mistakes he made and regrets putting everyone in danger because of his reckless decisions. Each movie builds up his character more and more and I think as long as they don't backpedal, Sonic's in store for some incredible things! ALSO! Just like I said with Shadow, I freaking LOVED Sonic's character model in this one! I love that we are seeing him physically growing up and maturing instead of being forever stuck in place (no shade to the games). This character model is SO much taller and stockier than the model in Sonic 1 and is evidence that not only is he emotionally maturing, but he's physically aging up as well. It's just so cool!

I absolutely adored Alyla Browne's portrayal of Maria in this movie! She was so charming and instantly loveable the moment she was onscreen. I've noticed many people highlighting the part where she draws the bunny face on Shadow (which I love) but even the seconds before that where she mocks his scowl INSTANTLY won me over. And she even gets Shadow to smile because of it! The smile is small and only visible for a few frames, but it's there! It was clear that this girl saw more to this alien than a menacing, dangerous little space demon and wasn't gonna put up with his charade. It's no wonder the two of them became fast friends. I don't know about you, but I have been STARVED of ARK Sibling content since Shadow's very first introduction so I was obsessed with every single scene we got of the two of them actually getting to spend time together. I do love drama but so far all we've seen is the ARK tragedy and rarely any of the highlights before that event. Yes the SCU is a different universe, but this filled a hole in my heart that I've been waiting on for years. It did not disappoint!

I also want to highlight Agent Stone. Listen, I've loved Lee Majdoub since Sonic 1, but his character is at his best in this movie. Agent Stone was proper badass in Sonic 3 and proved that he's far more than just a simple henchman. It's revealed that with Ivo sulking and remaining in hiding, Stone has stepped up and is constantly monitoring what's going on in the outside world and immediately jumps into action when he notices the doctor's tech being used by someone else. Eggman wasn't even aware of it and yet Stone is out there shutting it down and bringing back reinforcements to clear Eggman's name! That super suit?? And those MOTORCYCLE TRICKS?? And him dodging a freaking ROCKET like it ain't no thing??? Hell yeah, Stone! Lee Majdoub is so funny and I love how he can be so quiet and stoic around Eggman ( "Resourceful.") but he can also be so over the top like when he's mocking the hell out of Knuckles ("Įt'Ŝ 𝕋𝒽𝒆 ⓖ𝓸Ａ𝐓 𝔪𝕀ŁҜє𝓡!... Relax.") and both just work so well! I think it's further evidence of why he makes such a good partner for Eggman because they're both capable of some intense power but they're also both such weirdos. I loved the amount of emotion and vulnerability Stone had in this movie. He's always had an allegiance to Eggman and even in Sonic 2 we saw how much he missed the doctor while he was away and how enthusiastic he was when he learned he was alive, but it went a lot deeper in this film. We got to learn that there's a much stronger affinity there and Stone legitimately cares about Robotnik and supports him through thick and thin. Personally, I ship Stobotnik, so this movie gave me plenty of delicious food! But even if you don't ship it, I think it was so significant to show the depth to Stone and Robotnik's relationship and I believe that it was Stone's affection for the doctor (romantic or platonic) that ultimately made Eggman save the world in the end. Though I'm still hoping for Jim Carrey to come back, I think they set things up so Stone could take up the EggMantle in a seamless way and I sure wouldn't be mad about it!

[Allow me to pause for a deep inhale of breath...]

Ä̷͇̰̞́Ȁ̷̭̩̰̔͐Ấ̶̝̗̠A̴͉͗A̵̳̠̚ͅA̵̫̋Ḿ̴͕Y̴̨̯̆Y̷͖͍̜̓͝Ỹ̵͍̺͑̕Y̸̜̫̆͋͋Y̶͕̫̱̾̐!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭💖💖💖💖💖💖😘😘😘😘😍😍😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 My beloved! My most darling angel! My reason for waking up in the morning! SHE MADE IT! Amy is my favorite character of all time and I told y'all I was gonna throw up if she wasn't in this movie, so you'd better believe I SCREAMED when her hammer appeared in the post-credits scene! When she walked up and pulled back the hood of her cloak I was in tears and I was TREMBLING! I'm sure they're going to make changes to her once they finalize her design for Sonic 4, but this reveal was so freaking good and got me so excited for the next movie. Her character model is already so beautiful and I love that they turned the tables and have her rescuing Sonic this time! I cannot wait to see what they have in store!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Metal Sonic was cool too btw)

ACTION - 10/10

TL;DR - Highspeed fun that has you on the edge of your seat for every single minute of screen time!

This movie is NONSTOP. I wasn't bored for a single second and by the time we hit the credits I couldn't believe how much time had passed. Every fight scene was so perfectly choreographed and so RAMPED UP that it had me stunned. There's a joke early in the movie that Sonic/Tails/Knuckles' antics are capable of cataclysmic events but the movie delivers on that promise a multitude of times! From city-wide power outages to mini-black holes to volcanic eruptions, there's no shortage of chaos and action in this movie!

You guys. The first time I saw this movie, I was at a prescreening so I was among critics and people from the media instead of a group of fans. It took EVERYTHING WITHIN ME to contain my glee. I was PHYSICALLY BALLED UP, knees pulled to my chest, palms pressed to my face to try to stay quiet. My heart burst through the roof of my skull! Even when I went to go see it for a fourth time, my heart was still racing. I actually had my friend feel my pulse as proof. This movie just gets you so excited it's insane!

The fact that the movie BEGAN with Shadow's breakout... god bless it. God bless everyone who worked on it. It was so intense and heartpumping! And I loved the choice to have little-to-no music during Shadow's fight with the soldiers. It just added to the tension and didn't give you any hint of when and where Shadow was going to teleport next. This was basically a scene from a horror movie! It set the entire tone for the film and showed that Shadow was NOT to be messed with.

I seriously could describe how much I loved every action scene but I will be here forever so I won't, but I have to say-

THE ✨SUPER✨ SCENES. OH. MY. 🎶GO~~~~OD🎶!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had high hopes and expectations we were going to see Super Shadow in this one, but never in my lifetime did I think we were going to finally see Super Sonic VERSUS Super Shadow!!! Holy hell, what a fight! We get to finally see what two god-mode characters are capable of when they're out to kill each other and aren't showing any mercy. EACH PUNCH LAUNCHING THE OPPONENT ACROSS THE FREAKING PLANET?!??!?? That editing choice in particular is one of my absolute FAVORITE things about this movie. There's a million ways this fight could have been done but showing just how fast and how strong these two are--- even causing the earth to split open and erupt just from one of them pushing off the ground--really shows just how minuscule and inferior us humans are hahaha. We wouldn't stand a freaking CHANCE. AND SONIC PUNCHES SHADOW TO THE MOON?!

ALSO THEY EACH TOOK TURNS PUNCHING THE SUPER OUT OF EACH OTHER!???!!!

I'm having to pause as I'm writing this because even though I've seen this movie four times I'm still getting so worked up just thinking about these action scenes again that I'm struggling to breathe omg

Even better than Super Sonic VERSUS Super Shadow was that final team up. That CLAP and they both turn super had me WEAK. I just about fainted right then but thank god I didn't because that entire sequence was INCREDIBLE. That little exchange of Sonic saying "Ready to recycle some tin cans?" and Shadow rolling his shoulder and saying "Try to keep up" before launching into a flurry of attacks is TATTOOED ON MY BRAIN. It will never leave my mind. It gave us SA2 and MORE. The battle was a masterpiece and it's something that words truly can't describe, you just have to witness it in all it's glory. I will never be normal about that fight scene.

One more moment I want to highlight because it shows action in nontraditional ways -- I am infatuated with the way they depicted Eggman and Shadow's last moments of saving the earth from the Eclipse Cannon. There was just something in the slow, labored movements that Jim Carrey made to show him attempting to block the explosions with shields, and the quietness of Shadow pushing the exterior of the ship with his hands and the metal is just crushing under his palms from the force. It isn't a moment of fast punches or flashing lights but it was so damn powerful and I absolutely loved it.

VISUALS - 10/10

TL;DR - Stellar effects and cinematography not only make for a delightful experience for your eyes but further immerse us into this fictional world.

WOW! I already touched on this in my above notes but seriously this movie was just beautiful. The character models were so good and felt real despite being cartoons (which goes to show you don't need them to look hyper-realistic to convince me it's a living creature). The lighting and the framing of shots were not only visually appealing but helped further the emotions of the scenes. The neon lights bouncing off Shadow in the rain as he's slowly walking down the streets of Shibuya was a WORK OF ART. Even all the moments of chaos and destruction were portrayed so well and so crisp that not only were they beautiful to look at -- I could actually tell what was going on! I watch a lot of action films and it gets so frustrating when there's so many explosions, lens flares, camera whips, etc that I can't actually make out what's happening. I never had that problem in this movie!

FAN SERVICE - 10/10

TL;DR - No, not that kind of fan service. This was a film FOR the fans!

I already said that the cinematic universe is clearly separate from the game universe. However, there were so many delightful little treats for fans of the games that felt like all the creators of this movie reached out and hugged me and said "This is for you!" BLESS! I won't list out all the Easter eggs and scene-recreations because there are too many, but man the joy I felt in sitting there and thinking "I KNOW THAT REFERENCE!" was healing to my soul. I figured "Live and Learn" was going to show up in some way because we heard the tune in the trailer, but I didn't realize how often and in how many different ways it would play throughout the movie! Starting out the movie with a memory of Maria playing "Live and Learn" on the guitar had me clutching my chest and I knew I was gonna be emotionally wrecked by this film! I loved the orchestral version of the song during the final battle which took an already badass theme and made it even more epic, but I do love that they included a snippet with the original lyrics too.

I don't know why people get so upset with these movies not being 100% like the games when it's clear that the people who work on these movies care so much about the games and want to reward us fans who love the games, too. Think about the scene where Shadow goes to push the Eclipse Cannon and he removes his inhibitor rings. That was specifically for us fans. The movie never explains what his inhibitor rings are or what they do or why he's removing them. Not knowing what the inhibitor rings are doesn't detract from the movie--but if you play the games you KNOW the significance of that moment. That was written and animated FOR YOU to enjoy. What's not to love about that???

DRAMAAAA~

Again, I know these SCU movies are marketed as family films and are more aimed for children, but I love that the movies are evolving and 'maturing' over time instead of repeating the same simple formula of some children's movies. With each Sonic movie that comes out, the themes and story are getting deeper and heavier without losing it's whimsy and fun. It's done in a way that feels like a natural progression and growth and I don't think the heavier subject matter will deter anyone who watched the previous two movies.

⭐BONUS POINTS!⭐

This is a hot take and I know many people are gonna disagree, but I was so pleased with there being LESS focus on the humans in this story (minus the Robotniks+Stone, of course). I do not care about the Wachowskis. I do not care about the Whipples. I understand why they were initially in the movies and I understand that Sonic considers the Wachowskis as his parents now, but I don't go to these movies to see the humans attending weddings or doing other sideplot shenanigans. I'm here for the aliens, damn it! So to have the humans' appearances mostly diminished to scenes that specifically related to the main plot was a huge relief to me!

THANK YOU SONIC 3.

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I could talk endlessly about this movie and even though I've written what feels like an entire essay there's still tons I'm leaving out, but to try to move this review along I'm going to move on to the negatives. Again, none of these below items were enough to ruin the movie for me and individually they aren't even worth a full point as far as a review. But ultimately these are things that I couldn't shake after watching and it's why I felt I had to dock the movie a single point in total.

EDITING WHIPLASH

I've already complimented this movie by several of the editing choices that were made, but there's one moment in particular that totally took me out of it and I'm sure you can guess what I'm going to say... Yes, it was the frequent cutting between the Super Hedgehogs and the Robotniks. Don't get me wrong -- individually these scenes were great. Ivo versus Gerald was hilarious and I did enjoy it and yes it was important to the plot -- but how DARE you interrupt my Super Sonic and Super Shadow fight with mustache wrestling! Whiplash is the best word I can use to describe how I felt in this moment. Sonic and Shadow fighting all of the robots and lasers to get to the Cannon was so dynamic and so intense and so spectacular, that when it suddenly cut away to Eggman getting spanked by a giant mech hand, I felt like I just got slapped across the face. My heart had just been racing so fast and then you cut away? Then I'm starting to calm down and just enjoy the Robotnik fight for the silliness but then it cuts BACK to the epic power of Sonic and Shadow --- and you do it AGAIN?! It just killed me!

I saw an edit somebody made where they spliced all of the super fight scenes together and removed the Robotnik fight and as you can imagine, it was infinitely better. You actually had the time to be fully enraptured by the battle and get to absorb every awesome second of it.

The Robotnik fight was still necessary (and yes, even the way they killed Gerald was hilarious to me and I still laugh even now) but they really should have edited this part of the movie better in my opinion.

PLOT HOLE -- ARE WE MISSING PART OF THE SCRIPT?

Although I think the writing for this movie was overall great, I felt there were key elements missing from the G.U.N. plot line that was meant to drive the narrative. This led me to think... was there a deleted scene and the filmmakers thought nobody would care/question it? Here are the things that I felt the movie did not clearly address:

1: Why are Team Sonic and Commander Walters close allies now? G.U.N. and Walters were previously antagonists in these films. Yes, at the end of Sonic 2 Commander Walters gives up his goal of capturing Sonic, but surrendering isn't the same as forming a partnership. Why is Team Sonic on-call for G.U.N. missions at Walters' requests all of a sudden? Then there's the scene in the Chao Garden. Why do Team Sonic and Walters meet up without anyone else from G.U.N. knowing about it? Why does Sonic trust Walters more than the rest of G.U.N.? I understand Sonic is a hero and especially in these movies he likes to see the good in people, but throughout these movies Walters ALWAYS lies. In Sonic 2, not only does Walters/G.U.N. fabricate an entire wedding as a sting operation to capture Sonic, but Walters lies when he claims that G.U.N. was formed because of Sonic's misadventures in San Francisco. In Sonic 3 we learn that G.U.N. was around for Project Shadow in the 70s. Nobody calls him out on this. Even in the Chao Garden scene, Walters is lying to Sonic about Shadow's history! He tells Sonic that Maria was killed in a terrible accident and Gerald was blamed for it. It was no accident! Soldiers showed up with guns and when Walters tried to stop them, they said "We have our orders." Sure, shooting the canister of chaos energy was not the intention and so the explosion itself was an accident, but those soldiers had every intent on taking Maria and Gerald out (if not Shadow as well). I'm sure Walters left that detail out to keep Sonic from asking further questions, but that makes him all the more of an unreliable storyteller and someone Sonic should NOT trust.

2: Why doesn't Walters trust G.U.N.? When Walters is injured in the Chao Garden attack, he gives Sonic one of the keys to the Eclipse Cannon and tells him that Sonic's the only person he trusts to keep it safe. Walters is the commander of G.U.N. -- surely he would trust a member of his team to hold onto the key, right? And if he doesn't, WHY? If you watched the Knuckles series then you know that there are indeed rogue members of G.U.N., but people watching the movie don't know that. Walters telling Sonic to keep the key safe from everyone suddenly puts Sonic on heightened alert and makes him believe he can't trust anyone, but we aren't given a reason why. Even if Walters simply had a line saying "I worry there's corruption in G.U.N." then I would have been satisfied.

3: Why is Team Sonic stealing the second key? Once the Team learns that there is a second key to the Eclipse Cannon and that the Robotniks are planning to steal it, they devise a heist to steal the second key themselves. Why? Walters didn't tell Sonic about a second key or tell him to retrieve the second key. Doesn't that mean Walters believes the safest place for the second key is where it's currently stored: at G.U.N. headquarters? Team Sonic knew Robotnik was en route, so the wisest option would have been to alert G.U.N. so they could heighten security and be on the lookout (which turns out, they already were). Again, all of this would make sense if Sonic was given an explicit reason to not trust G.U.N. and was specifically told to keep the keyS away from them, but at this point he went from trusting them to suddenly trying to take both keys from them. I loved the heist scenes and I don't want them removed, I feel they just need justification.

4: What is Director Rockwell's problem? It's clear that Rockwell is not a fan of Team Sonic (some people just can't trust aliens) but it seemed her character was going a certain direction and then just... stopped. After Walters is killed, the first thing she does is check his pocket for the key. Surely Walters would have known that Director Rockwell would have checked his pockets, especially since she was in Tokyo at the time of his death, again going back to my question of why he wouldn't trust her to retrieve the key instead of handing it over to Sonic? I was fully expecting a reveal of her being a rogue agent, especially because Team Sonic was still trying to take the second key even after the Robotniks had been thwarted. Think about it -- G.U.N. has stopped the Robotniks (and Team Sonic) from stealing the second key. That was the whole point, right? So why is Tom now trying to take the key FROM Rockwell? Isn't the key safely where it belongs and the Robotniks are supposedly in custody? So again, was there a reason Rockwell wasn't meant to be trusted, but we just don't know? I really felt like she was being set up to be a villain, but it led nowhere.

Now a lot of the elements I just addressed can be inferred and we can use context clues to guess, but I think it's the writers' job (especially in a family film) to make it clear why characters are making the choices/decisions they're making, at least by the time you reach the end of the movie. I know some stories are more ambiguous than others, but to me it felt like something was missing. I guess we'll see if there's anything hidden in deleted scenes.

FINAL THOUGHTS

As a whole, I absolutely loved this movie and I am so thankful it exists. I can't wait for Sonic 4 and I hope it receives just as much hype, love and attention that this movie did! If you read my entire review, thank you! I hope you enjoyed it, even if you didn't agree with all of it :)

[charcubed]

I have soooooo much I want to write about Doctor Odyssey and if I keep waiting for the perfect moment to write something PROPERLY GOOD AND COMPREHENSIVE then I’m simply going to explode. So instead I’m going to write a messy little post on my phone when half asleep and try to keep it to one main topic.

Yeah yeah the throuple had a threesome (and I’m foaming at the mouth over it) but can we talk about the THEMES!!!!

This show is for crazy people (me specifically). Once again, I have a lot to say, but for now let me just focus on the wedding episode itself. That threesome is informed by the context of the rest of the episode in a way I simply CANNOT get over.

Let’s look at our passengers: the bride, groom, and best man. We find out all of them are being unfaithful to each other in various ways, miserable in their silence and unhealthy relationship dynamics. They all went to school together and were once close, but things went wrong somewhere along the way. The best man’s speech implies he has feelings for the groom, the groom is a sex addict who’s had multiple partners (possibly the best man included) because he feels trapped in a lie, and the bride and best man are having sex with each other. And none of them are communicating about it, and the groom who had preexisting mental health struggles commits suicide.

What happens to the three of them is a tragedy and it is absolutely a result of heteronormative monogamous culture. That culture was passed down from the bride’s mother to her too by example and societal influence.

I’m not exaggerating. It’s not subtle!!! At all!!! Everything explodes for those passengers because monogamy and repressing bisexuality wasn’t working for them.

They’re a dark mirror and cautionary tale. (Bonus points for how Avery’s sad backstory is that she was betrayed by her longtime friend / brief husband who cheated on her with a mutual friend as well, which is why she’s definitely hesitant about love now.)

By comparison, Avery and Max and Tristan have been avoiding some similar big pitfalls: they know they’re into each other and it’s not a secret, rivalries keep being squashed with effort, and no one is pressuring anyone to choose (so far).

This is what our beloved main characters have on their minds before what follows. And again, let’s not even get to the sex part yet… THE BUCKET LISTS!!! I’m losing my Goddamn marbles!!! The way all 3 of their lists intersect? Holy shit. Off the top of my head: Max and Tristan want to fall in love and have kids, Avery and Max want to see the world, Tristan and Avery have niche interests outside of medicine that they want to explore more… We were given itemized lists to show how the 3 of them balance and round each other out perfectly.

It’s not about any 2 of them because it won’t work with just any 2. It’s ALL THREE — just like all the framing and blocking of shots is consistently all 3, they walked down the wedding aisle all 3 together, the first sex scene for any of them that WE as the audience see on screen is all 3 of them together, a “bad threesome” is defined as 2 people getting too wrapped up in each other and the 3rd being an accidental outsider, we often see that if one duo gets a couple-y moment then the other duos get similar moments later as well, etc etc. Sorry. Let me not continue the summary list here and now so I don’t get too sidetracked but there’s A LOT.

But like, my current point? That wedding episode is a goldmine and the threesome explicitly happening doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Far from it. The themes are themeing in the whole show, of course, which is part of what I want to write about elsewhere at some point too: this show is repeatedly very deliberate about making sure heterosexuality or monogamy aren’t framed as the default or only correct options, and queerness is sprinkled everywhere. But this wedding episode specifically… the themes were nearly the ONLY PLOT. Nothing else — it’s basically only that, and it’s very focused. The failures of monogamy are on full display. And that’s why and how we get an explicit threesome right after it, which will lead us into how things will continue to develop for our trio.

Now, as for why the threesome happens so relatively quickly? My hot take on that is that general audiences can be stupid and so the creators wanted to put the throuple explicitly on screen fairly early to get people to start Noticing. Show them how the characters need to be together… and that sets us up for the possible angst and tension to follow as they have to accept it emotionally for themselves too. Now, as an audience member, you’ll more strongly know what to root for. You’ll know what’s right because you’ve seen it and you’ll want them to get back to that place, come what may. (If you’re not a puritan.)

It’s so fucking good. Insane silly show for insane people. Are we seeing the vision??? I need everyone to lock in.

This ramble is probably a disaster and I apologize for that but ohhhh man I had to put SOME words down so I wouldn’t explode. Suffice it to say I’m having a ball up in this bitch and I cannot believe this show exists. I couldn’t believe my eyes and my brain cells in the pilot, and I REALLY can’t believe them now.

What a time to be alive!!!!!! Polycule “love fest” on a cruise ship, baby!!! The world needs more love, all kinds of love, as the Captain says!!!! Onward to gay week!!!! LET’S SEE THOSE BI MEN KISS

[pathologicalreid]

Margot you hate Maeve? :(

Whyyy? She‘s so pretty and has a nice voice and at the end of the day I support Womens rights and wrongs so hating her do keeping her ex-fiancé as a secret is not a solid reason to me! (lowkey joking but still whyyy?

long winded answer to this question below the cut

i do hate maeve! but i love beth riesgraf (if you ever want to see her in another show she’s in leverage her character’s name is parker and the episodes are in full on youtube)

maeve is a mary sue! she’s brought into the show and presented to viewers as a “perfect match” for spencer. we’re given a few phone calls periodically from their 8 months together and it’s just not enough to convince me as an audience member that spencer was in love with her. she’s even referred to as the love of his life which just gets further ruined as the show goes on (re: in season 15 when spencer implies he’s been in love with jj for 15 years).

they have no chemistry! and if you’re thinking “but margot you only see them talking on the phone” and to that i would say exactly! i have dms with mutuals with more chemistry than reid and maeve ever had. i’m observing their relationship with what i’m given as a viewer, and spencer had more chemistry with austin (52 pickup), dylan (hero worship), and dorian (rock creek park) than he did with any of his canon love interests (i’m adding max to the conversation)

i’m not convinced she was very good at her job 😭 b-12 and magnesium for chronic migraines is a fucking crazy recommendation from a geneticist because we see spencer going to all of these specialists and anyone who has ever had a chronic illness will tell you that a blood panel like that would’ve been the first thing they looked at!!! i know they weren’t technically doctor-patient, but there’s still some wonky power dynamic that i don’t like!

one of my biggest quarrels is that she had a stalker. she was dating an fbi agent who was part of this renowned unit. she never asked for help. in fact she refused to let him help even after he offered to bring the case to the team!!!! i had a stalker (years ago dw) and i absolutely would’ve accepted any help offered to me at the time!

maybe if they had given us more of them before the events of zugzwang she could have grown on me! if they had included their conversation about the blindfold so that we could see it again when diane brought it up we could’ve connected those dots and felt more involved in their relationship.

tl;dr, i don’t hate maeve as a person but i do hate her as a character, if that makes sense

[celestial-depths]

Poor Things and Born Sexy Yesterday

(spoilers for Poor Things)

I stumbled on a discussion on whether Bella Baxter from the movie Poor Things (2023) is a representation of the Born Sexy Yesterday trope coined by video essayist Pop Culture Detective, who defines it as a mostly fantasy and sci-fi adjacent trope of a regular human man falling in love with a beautiful, otherworldly woman who, through some plot quirk or another, has no knowledge of social norms and no sexual or romantic past. Even though he is brutally average, he is able to win her love simply because he is the first (human) man she connects with and thus everything that's basic about him is impressive to her. Some examples of the trope given by Pop Culture Detective in his video essay are Leeloo from Fifth Element (the physically grown yet mentally child-like alien creature who falls in love with a taxi driver in a wifebeater) and Madison from Splash (a clothes-aversive mermaid who thinks that Tom Hanks is the most enchanting man in the world). I love Pop Culture Detective's work, and the Born Sexy Yesterday video essay was a cultural reset in my personal history. I saw the video when it premiered six years ago, but it has never fully left my mind, so of course I immediately thought of it when I saw Poor Things a couple of weeks ago. The movie certainly touches on the same themes that the Born Sexy Yesterday is made of. However, I think that the movie is an intentional subversion and a satire of the trope rather than a sincere execution of it.

The main character of the movie Bella Baxter starts out as a grotesquely literal version of the trope, as she is literally a newborn in the shape of a conventionally attractive woman who is being actively shielded from the influence of the outside world. She has the brain of a baby salvaged from the fresh corpse of a deceased pregnant woman, planted inside the skull of the reanimated body of the aforementioned woman as an experiment done by the unorthodox doctor Godwin Baxter. He keeps her locked inside his house and controls every aspect of her life, so when he invites the young doctor Max McCandles to join his research, McCandles is served what is essentially the perfect Born Sexy Yesterday experience: an exclusive access to a beautiful and naive young woman who is in a prime position of being groomed into whatever her keepers wish her to become.

Or so they would think.

A sincere Born Sexy Yesterday would be fully fascinated by this power dynamic and probably leave her here to be romanced by McCandles for the rest of the film. The audience would be expected to assume McCandles's perspective and indulge in the fantasy of falling in love with the untainted woman who has neither the life experience nor the critical thinking skills needed to question him.

But, fortunately, the movie doesn't remain here. After the first act, the movie switches its point of view from McCandles to Bella and starts putting her experiences to the forefront. She starts developing interests that absolutely do not align with the wants and needs of the men around her, and she begins to learn things that clash with the essence of the Born Sexy Yesterday trope. Soon, she has grown into a headstrong, independent, sexually experienced, intellectually curious woman who had zero interest in entertaining the whims of men and who intends to live fully for herself and herself alone: an absolute antithesis of the clueless and subservient blank slate the trope would require her to be. My reading of the film is that it's an intentional satire and an autopsy of the BSY trope and the gender politics that gave birth to it. It criticizes the men who entertain fantasies like it by making them look like absolute losers, urging us to ponder on what the hell is wrong with these creeps who see nothing wrong with drooling over a woman who is mentally a toddler instead of their intellectual equal.

The movie also reads as a critique of how women are socialized into a patriarchy. Godwin treats Bella just like a possession of his. Her body and her life are completely under his control from the moment she is "born" (another act in which neither Bella nor the woman she was born from had any say in), which isn't dissimilar to how a lot of fathers view their daughters. He wishes to keep her under constant supervision until the end of her life, until she protests and gets him to change his mind. When he asks McCandles to marry her, the two men treat the proposed marriage as a contract between the two of them rather than as a contract between McCandles and Bella herself. Again, this isn't too different to what marriage between men and women has meant throughout history.

McCandles is romantically interested in Bella even though he is fully aware of the fact that she is mentally a child. He seems to be looking forward to starting a sexual relationship with her after they are wed, as if the seal of marriage would make the intellectual disparity between them any less iffy. This bears resemblance to the way men in the real world prey on young girls with little to no sexual experience and whose brains are not fully developed because they're easier to control than grown women. I don't think that McCandles's hypocrisy is lost on the film. He agrees to marry Bella almost in the same breath as expressing his desire to keep her safe from other men, as if his desire to bed a person who is intellectually at the level of a five-year-old was any better than theirs.

When Bella chooses to leave Godwin's house to explore the world, the two men immediately replace her with a new experiment, showing that they were never truly interested in her as a person. They wanted the eternal baby, the thing that they can cage and control, and not the person who can think and learn and disagree with them. This exemplifies how disposable women are when they no longer serve their limited purpose in a patriarchy, and how replaceable people are when they are primarily viewed as bodies to be used. (Sidenote: I do think that Godwin and McCandles eventually learn to appreciate Bella for the person she is and that they both grow to be better people by the end of the film, but I still attest that these two are total creeps at least by this point of the movie.)

And then there's the supreme loser of the movie: the sleazy lawyer Wedderburn, who slithers into Bella's life and convinces her to run away with him. He is the darkest example of the kind of person who is drawn to inexperienced women like the ones represented in BSY movies - a predator who finds pleasure in the prospect of getting to corrupt and consume an innocent. He intends to take advantage of Bella and abandon her once he's gotten his fill only to find himself choking on his prey, who turns out not to be the malleable, naive creature he thought her to be.

This is the point where I think the movie goes from simply critiquing the BSY trope and everything it represents to successfully subverting it. The characters who embody the BSY trope don't really evolve. The movies they appear in are not really interested in their inner worlds and individual experiences beyond whatever serves the interests of the male protagonists. These characters are projections of male fantasies, so there really isn't a way for them to exist without centering men. This is not the case with Bella, who quickly grows into her own woman who is only tangentially interested in the men around her.

The bright side of Bella's condition is that she isn't just unaware of the ways of the world, but that she's also unaffected by the years of patriarchal conditioning that most normal women are burdened with. She literally has no shame, no internalized misogyny, no history of crushing blows to her sense of self-worth, and no looming knowledge of societal norms society. She has skipped the part in life where she is constantly bombarded with demands to make herself smaller and more palatable, to hate herself, to think of her body and the way it finds pleasure as something disgusting and abnormal, to treat other women as competition, and to think of herself as so much less important than men that she must pursue their validation beyond all else. Because of this blessed defect, she is free in a very rare way.

Wedderburn absolutely cannot handle that. When Bella first gets to know him, he paints a flattering picture of himself as a proud social deviant who gleefully eschews the rules of polite society. However, when faced with the actually deviant Bella, who flatly refuses to obey and center him, Wedderburn is revealed to be a phony. He is not a genuine libertine. He does not want to live in a truly free world with a free spirit like Bella, because he is a pathetic, insecure little man who only likes women in scenarios where the power balance is stacked against them. In my opinion, this is a direct shot fired at the BSY trope and its average enjoyers: if your ideal woman is someone who is many steps behind you in terms of mental capacity and experience, you are quite pitiful and would not stand a chance in an equal playing field.

It's hilarious how Wedderburn loses his mind when Bella starts exhibiting the kind of behavior he himself has proudly displayed earlier in the film: having multiple sexual partners, keeping sex and feelings separate, not falling in love with him or treating him like he's special, dropping him once she's had enough of him, and generally living life in an unconventional way. Again, the movie is pointing out the hypocrisy in men who fetishize inexperienced women while bragging about their own sexual conquests.

The part in the movie where Bella becomes a sex worker delivers the final blow to whatever is left of the BSY trope in her story, because the trope relies on sexual exclusivity and the fetishization of virginity. By having many partners and gaining lots of sexual experience out of her own free will, Bella stops fitting the ideal of the untouched woman who can be deflowered and exclusively possessed by the male protagonist. Also, through the conversations between Bella and the other sex workers, the movie finds another way to address the politics behind certain men's sexual fantasies of women - such as pointing out that some men enjoy sex with women more the less the women themselves enjoy it. It's a stray observation that the movie doesn't get deep into, but it has its place in the tapestry of the general theme of what desire reveals about people.

Finally, there's Alfie, who gives Bella (and us) an idea of the kind of life Bella's "mother" lived - as well as the kind of life Bella herself might be living had she grown up the normal way. It seems hellish. She'd be living under the tyranny of her awful husband, under a constant threat of violence, under absolute bodily control. Alfie wants to impregnate her against her will and to mutilate her genitals to deprive her of pleasure, and there's nothing that she could do about it because he is her husband and thus legally allowed to lord over her. She sees a terrifying glimpse of the role even privileged women like her have in this world: objects who exist solely for the pleasure of the men who own them. I would venture to say that the same description lies in the underbelly of the BSY trope.

I am happy that the movie doesn't take its sweet time to revel in the horror of this part of the story like so many other movies that address the oppression of women do. Instead, Bella stays with Alfie just enough time to say a hard and a well-informed no to his bullshit before getting on her merry way.

I think Poor Things is such a great example of taking a trope and exploring its implications in a way that goes beyond just pointing it out or parodying it by simply repeating it.

[ztarduzted]

So like the Illymation drama????

vile take I support illy like fully I don’t get the people who don’t rn

So like ok ok don’t get me wrong, illy isn’t like perfect 100% by any means but who is??? That one carrot and chocolate thing she said in her video could have been worded better but cmon, it’s really not that big of a deal, for the most part you out understand what she was saying. The video that TBYS posted wasn’t “criticism” the way that people are trying to say it was. People are trying to play it off as just a normal constructive criticism video, but if your “constructive criticism” includes like two whole minutes of making fun of someone’s appearance for no reason, I’m concerned. Illy’s response was a bit immature, but I understand where she’s coming from. She said not to send hate and to just take down that one video, not his whole platform, because it was damaging her reputation and mental health because TBYS never even tried to make a statement telling people not to harass illy and she got sent hate for it. People are blowing it way out of proportion saying she was trying to “deplatform him” when she just wanted one video taken down because it was causing her to be deplatformed, and she never even talked about it to her actual YouTube audience, just the small community on tumblr, then TBYS made two more hate filled videos and people just kept dog piling on her. If your gonna get mad at someone for “deplatforming” a known homophobe and transphobe, maybe practice what you preach. And alongside that, I know that some sources were shown in TBYS’s original videos, but there were no links in the descriptions, and absolutely nothing in any of the response videos I’ve seen. There was one video I saw just speculating that all of her doctors were dumb and lied to her, and TBYS also said that most doctors that specialize and make money from being good at nutrition were just wrong. Also, that one response video I mentioned tried to claim gym bros were better at health than licensed professionals???????? It just feels like this is all a massive, overblown hate campaign to a creator because of mistakes. There’s a difference between constructive criticism and just making fun of someone, and while some things that TBYS said were understandable, he made a point to straight up make fun of illy in the middle of his video, not even attempt to stop his fans from harassing illy, then when she replied (and barley received any backlash mind you), he blew up making more videos sending more and more hate and trying to ruin illy’s career. I know illy could have clarified that one point in her video and acted more maturely about the situation, but people are entirely overlooking the fact that TBYS was no where near “perfect” in this situation. (Also, final note, yes, you can absolutely be fat and healthy, saying otherwise is just wrong and makes no sense. Do your research before making half hour long videos making fun of someone)

I assume this drama will just die eventually and people will move on, but either way, I’m going to continue watching and supporting Illy no matter what. She’s a fantastic content creator, and when that video first came out (and there wasn’t some dude bro on the internet telling me it was bad) I absolutely loved at and had a great time watching it. It made me feel really good about myself (since I’ve been exercising daily and been working on myself a lot, but I’ve seen little to no weight loss despite eating healthy and going on a calorie deficit and working hard. It turns out I have something up with my thyroid, and along with that, part of it is just genetics.) I’d started feeling really bad and was trying to eat the bare minimum and it was making it harder to work out and I was feeling sick all the time. One day I was staying home because I felt sick, and I watched illy’s video. It’s not like one video is going to fix my relationship with food, but it has helped. I’m still not losing weight, but I’m getting stronger, feeling better, and eating healthier. Despite all this drama, illy’s videos have helped me feel more comfortable being myself and I will continue supporting her. And Illy, if you’re (somehow) seeing this, just know that there are some people that want to see you fail, but there are so so many more people that love you and your content.

[igncrxntripley]

father’s day surprise

a/n: someone submitted this in an ask and i don’t know if i deleted it on accident or not but it’s gone so i’m posting it this way instead!

mentions: SFW, fem!reader, pregnant!reader, not kayfabe compliant

taglist: @thesithdiaries @cassiesgreta @roseheartsworld @theworldofotps @babybatlover @ripleyswhore @auburnwrites @obl1vionblackhart @emogoblin-666 @hereliespumpkin @embertargaryen @neptune-lover @bunnysmyname @i-have-issues-lol @ares-athena @thatonepansexual2000 @witcherfromwallachia @infamousvampcx @christinabae 

being parents was a very, very long term goal for yourself and dominik. 

of course you’d talked about it, and you decided that it was absolutely something you wanted for yourselves in the future. but with his current travel schedule and you having your own goals for the near future, you’d both decided it was better to wait. 

however, he was home from being on the road nonstop for weeks on end, one thing led to another, and you eventually found yourself in your bathroom holding a positive pregnancy test in your hand. 

even though it was a lot earlier than either of you had planned, you were still excited and you know dom would be too. and you had three people who you knew you wanted to enlist the help of in order to tell him. 

rhea, damian, and finn had not only grown extremely close to dominik, but they had also gotten close to you in return. they’d become incredibly important in your lives over the last year so it only made sense to not only include them in the planning of how you’d tell dom you were pregnant, but help them carry it out. 

with father’s day only being right around the corner, you knew it was the perfect opportunity. 

dominik had a house show that weekend and more than likely would either be at ringside for someone’s match, or would have a match of his own. you told him you planned on being there in the audience as well, but didn’t give much more detail other than you just wanted to be in town to watch him do what he loved. 

his match went really well that night, and he even ended up winning! you always loved getting to see him live his dreams in the ring, and you felt like one of the luckiest people in the world to be able to experience it by his side. 

after the match ended, all four members of the judgement day stood in the ring together to deliver a promo to their smaller, yet very enthusiastic audience. that was always the perks of being at a house show. 

rhea was the first to speak up; “now, not only is today a great day here at WWE because dom dom got a huge win tonight.” her statement was met with boos given dominik’s current status as a heel. he didn’t mind though. “today, is father’s day.”

dominik looked a little confused, but quickly erased it from his face so he could play along as rhea continued. “of course, i have to say happy father’s day to my latino heat, papi himself.” 

finn was the next to speak up. “and actually, dom, that’s not the only reason you’ll be celebrating father’s day from here on out.”

damian had helped you over the barricade and into the ring, and dominik immediately looked at you with shock. one hand held an ultrasound from your most recent doctor’s appointment, and the other rested gently over your belly. 

“really?” dominik asked with shock and joy, immediately coming towards you and lifting you in a hug as the crowd cheered. you held onto him just as tightly, sniffling into his neck as you celebrated this huge news. 

everything went perfectly. you and dominik got to celebrate the news of your little bundle of joy in front of the WWE universe, and you had the help of his three best friends to do it. you couldn’t have asked for anything else. 

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E21 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character/locations cheat sheet

Lakan - strategist. Maomao's biological father.

Lihaku - a young military officer

Pairin - one of the princesses at Verdigris House

Guen - the palace doctor

Lihaku is sparring and doing poorly because he is too distracted. Probably thinking about his true love Pairin and wondering if she is the princess who is having her contract bought out. Last time Maomao was at the brothel we learned that Meimei had some offers, but we haven't heard anything about Pairin.

Maomao is back in the Rear Palace and happy to be in the pharmacy with her old friend Guen, making him clean and organize.

We learn that Guen's family manufactures paper. They used to be quite wealthy until logging was banned and they had to cut back production. Under more dire circumstances, the eldest daughter chose to work in the palace. Guen volunteered to become a eunuch to follow her, but he never saw her again. Missing sister huh? Suirei maybe?

Hmmm... is there some connection here? Guen is a "doctor" and Suirei ended up being adopted by a doctor in the Outer Palace. Could she have learned the trade alongside Guen and used that knowledge to impress the Outer Palace doctor?

There is an issue with the paper that is manufactured for the palace, and the family is likely to lose their purveyor status if the problem isn't fixed. Luckily Maomao is a genius and can figure out the problem with minimal clues.

OMG, Lihaku. He's down sooooo bad for Pairin.

The man is dedicated. I will grant him that. He wants to know what he needs to do to buy out her contract. He's looking for an amount, and Maomao is stalling in giving him a direct answer. It's complicated since Pairin's desires can change that amount.

We learn that Maomao was a ward of the brothel. And induced lactation is a thing I just learned about today. Pairin was a mother figure to Maomao.

Maomao explains to Lihaku that Pairin would likely love to become a mother, but she is very lusty, and is difficult to satisfy in bed.

Lihaku: So she's perfect. Your point?

Okay, so Lihaku has won me over. I'm a sucker who has to support a man in love.

Maomao: Master Lihaku understands what Pairin does for a living and is still in love with her. He may act like a big dumb dog, but seems to be honest and a hard worker.

Yeah that all tracks.

Maomao tells him he has to come up with roughly 10x his annual income to buy out Pairin's contract. She then asks to examine his physique to see if he matches Pairin's tastes. And now would be a perfect time for someone to interrupt this scene. Preferably someone who views Lihaku as a romantic rival and can misread the situation...

Oh my god. Right on cue. Thank you storytellers for feeding your audience!

The looks on Lihaku's and Maomao's faces! They are so busted.

Friends. I am dying.

Jinshi: My apologies, but what exactly am I interrupting here? Maomao, brightly: Hi Master Jinshi! How are you?

About to go ballistic by the looks of it.

Lady Gyokuyou would love this. It's so funny.

Maomao's bright response to Jinshi's question let's me know that even if she isn't willing to acknowledge the situation she isn't ignorant to it.

But anyway, since Maomao won't acknowledge Jinshi's jealousy her only choice is to be so very terrible at reading the room that it seems like she's trolling Jinshi. She once again describes the situation in the most ambiguous way, so that the chance that Jinshi will misunderstand is maximized. It's 💋👌

There are so many good lines here, I'm tempted to write them all.

Maomao: Nothing improper was going on. I was simply taking a good hard look.

Jinshi takes psychic damage.

Jinshi: I didn't realize the physical form was of such interest to you.

Maomao: It was absolutely necessary... ...It was to see if his body would be good enough. What better way to judge that than to inspect him myself?

Critical hit. Jinshi's down. If he isn't actually crying, it's a close thing.

Jinshi: Humor me. Based on what you observed... were you satisfied?

Jinshi's entire outlook for the future hinges on this answer.... LOL

Maomao goes on to explain what she can deduce based on an assessment of someone's appearance.

Jinshi, jealous: Then you should be able to tell what kind of person I am by looking at my body.

No sir, you are the exception, she very deliberately won't determine anything about you that challenges her delusions.

Maomao: Wait a minute? Is he jealous of Master Lihaku?

Um.... yeah!

Maomao: I can't believe this guy's ego! He just wants to brag about being prettier than him!

You almost had it, Maomao. So close.

Maomao lives in her own delusional world where she can admire Jinshi's beautiful, well toned figure and still convince herself that she has zero interest in him.

Maomao: I'd offer to inspect your body too, but there'd be no point.

A final blow. Gaoshun is thinking about what a hassle it is going to be to motivate Jinshi to work in the next few days when he's going to be crying in the corner again.

Once Jinshi knows what's going on, he decides to involved himself in Lihaku's business. He offers to put up the money for Lihaku to buy out Pairin's contract. Is he trying to remove a romantic rival or earn points with Maomao by supporting her big sis? Both probably.

Jinshi: You've met my cat. So you know she can be the cautious type. And yet she's willing to give you advice and consider you to be a legitimate candidate to be her sister's husband. So, I think that says enough.

Excuse me, did he just refer to Maomao as his cat?

Damn, the day Lihaku nonchalantly gave Maomao a hairpin, really, really, has paid off.

In fact Maomao is a boon to everyone in her life. We saw it twice this episode with Guen and now with Lihaku.

Lihaku: In short, if she's comfortable letting her guard down around me, I'm trustworthy.

Yeah, Jinshi didn't like that. He's worked for nearly two years to get Maomao to let down her guard around him with little success, but by all appearances, Maomao will do so easily with Lihaku. And that's... true. Lihaku, is not, and has never been, a threat to Maomao's heart. She can stare at his physique or talk intimately and it means nothing at all to Maomao. But of course Jinshi doesn't know that. Which is what makes this hilarious.

And perhaps the unspoken part of this deal, is that Lihaku take the money to go live happily with Pairin, and stay the fuck away from Jinshi's girl.

Jinshi has done his research on Lihaku. It seems he comes from a good family, but was recruited by Lakan. Interesting. Jinshi is listing Lihaku's merits, and he sounds almost sarcastic, like he's forcing the words.

Lihaku gives a very nice little speech to Jinshi about wanting to use his own wealth to get Pairin. And he says some very important words:

Lihaku: While she might only be a courtesan to you. In my eyes, there's no other woman in the world for me.

See Jinshi? He has no interest in your girl? You can rein in your jealousy now.

And Jinshi is relieved. He says he'll need to speak with Lihaku again soon. As brother-in-laws maybe?

It almost seems like Jinshi was testing Lihaku and he passed. Maybe making sure that Lihaku has integrity? Maybe Jinshi is thinking about bringing him into his very small trusted circle? Lord knows Jinshi could use more allies.

Lihaku has come a long way from demanding Maomao compensate him for helping her visit her father outside the palace, to refusing the free money he needs to free the woman he loves.

Jinshi and Gaoshun walk away, and Jinshi is much happier after this conversation. He doesn't have to worry about Lihaku as a romantic rival any more. Which is good for Jinshi, but sad for me.

Lihaku's not giving up. He keeps training, trying to advance his career, save his money, and connect with Pairin however he can. Maomao seems to think it's a hopeful match.

A certain someone came to talk to granny about making a purchase at the brothel and some of the servant girls got the wrong idea. Lakan apparently. What the hell is his game this time? Mess with Maomao's sisters to draw her out of the Rear Palace?

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

Next episode:

Episode 22

[qqueenofhades]

thank you for your post i’m doing my best to stay informed on the conflict and i’m very young. i feel guilty being quiet as i understand to uplift voices helps prevent their silencing but this has lead me to not critically think about what i’m spreading

it’s been a long month. i’m only a kid and watching the world go to shit like this has been awful, I always wondered how millennials who lived through post nine eleven imperialism coped and god i’m still not sure how.

I am as a white gentile in a position of privilege and mostly my own person is unaffected by the uptick in violence and evil in the world right now. But my friends who i see every day are in more danger due to this conflict and i feel awful that i cannot ever fully understand or fix the deaths of people.

Right now I’m being a bit too reactionary. I’m doing my best but in the end I am not immune to fearmongering and propoganda, especially in these last couple sleepless weeks.

So thank you and everyone who is keeping level heads and desconstructing what’s happening. I’m sorry and i strive to be better. Thank you.

To anyone living in fear right now i’m so sorry. I will listen when you speak.

Once again I just want to say that I am a busy and uninformed student, and I wish that i had more teachers and authority figures that had objective facts to tell me. It’s suffocating to have fake news everywhere but feel powerless if you don’t know anything

it’s ok if you don’t respond to this

Thank you for your post

Thanks for this message and for taking the time to put it into words and to reflect on your own actions and rhetoric. It takes a lot of courage and self-awareness to admit that you were wrong and that you want to do better, and I'm not going to rip into you or blame you or otherwise shame you for it. So I hope this gives you the confidence to read on without feeling like you'll be raked over the coals for it, and open you to hear some ideas for doing things differently.

First, I do have a ton of sympathy for you as a young person who feels overwhelmed and exhausted by all the evil in the world, and is wondering how to get through it, react to it, or otherwise make some kind of moral response in the face of this soul-crushing trauma. I will say here that I am a little bit older than your average Tumblr user (the majority of this site is in their early-mid twenties), I do personally remember 9/11 and its aftermath when a lot of people here weren't even born yet, and I am an academic historian with a doctorate. That does not mean I am better or smarter or More Perfect or whatever at what I say, but it means that I do have a considerable amount of institutional, formal, and professional practice at analyzing a lot of complex information, putting it into words, breaking it down for less-specialist audiences, pointing out logical fallacies, and so forth.

That is not a skill that everyone has, and in the face of nonstop 24-hour news-cycle social media information overload, it can be incredibly difficult to parse it or understand how you're supposed to respond to it or what your moral obligation in response to this knowledge might be. I wrote this ask the other day in response to someone else asking how to improve their critical thinking skills and be more discerning about what they understood, shared, and analyzed. I strongly encourage you to read it, as it addresses a lot of what you're saying about feeling negative, depressed, panicked, angry, and all the other emotions that are naturally evoked in you from reading this stuff nonstop and feeling like the only thing you can (or should) do is immerse your brain in it at all times. In short, that is absolutely the worst environment to do actual substantial analysis or critical thinking, and it is designed so on purpose.

It has been said before, but it bears repeating: the human brain simply is not designed to be constantly aware of all the atrocities in the world and thus (thanks to social media) feeling as if the only way they can do anything about it is to then post the Correct Opinions on social media (regardless of whether these are informed or relevant or otherwise useful). Especially now, the rush to demonstrate Correct Thinking has warped a lot of otherwise well-meaning young people into becoming eager disinformation mouthpieces. There are a TON of explicitly bad-faith actors and far-right fascists who are posting pro-Palestine content (factual or uh, otherwise) because they know that's an instant way to get an audience of said young left-leaning people who will then be suckered into and exposed to their far more dangerous content and mindset, because that is how radicalization works. Even in the support of an obviously worthy cause, you and everyone else ARE NOT IMMUNE to fearmongering, disinformation, and virulently anti-Semitic propaganda, especially when it's being eagerly and constantly offered in a deliberate attempt to radicalize you further into violence and conspiracy theories, turn you against other vulnerable groups and people, and explicitly disengage you from the electoral/political process, which will harm the Democrats and other liberal establishment parties in favor of more far-right radical fascist theocrats and otherwise make everything, everywhere, many orders of magnitude worse.

I know the feeling that you need to do something, and since you're a long way from the conflict, it seems as if posting on social media is the best and/or the only way to go about it. In that environment, and especially right now, you will make mistakes. I know it is difficult in an online environment where popularity or acceptance by your peers often rests on never being wrong about anything (i.e. saying the same thing everyone else is saying), but it always helps to think about what you're doing, what you're saying, and if you actually need the approval of people who are conditioning you, implicitly or explicitly, into negative and violent ideological nihilism.

The hardest thing to understand is that yes, there is a lot of terrible shit going on in the world; no, you cannot personally fix it and you have to accept that as a limitation; yes, there are many multiple and complex causes and reasons for its existence and there is almost never a black-and-white simplistic moral solution that just hasn't been magically implemented yet; yes, it is always worth it to take the time to inform yourself and consider what you're saying, where it comes from, who it helps and who it hurts, and why you feel the need to say it in the first place. Of course you want to help. Of course you want to stop the needless suffering and death that has gone on in the world for millennia and unfortunately, as long as humans are humans, will continue to do so. But even so, take it away Gandalf:

[ukiyoryn]

Hermione barely noticed his arrival. By the time he stepped into her cubicle, her desk was a disaster zone of half-open tomes, scribbled notes, and a half-drunk cup of tea.

She immediately pointed towards the exit, which was… just the walkway. “Absolutely not.”

“Morning, Granger,” Draco drawled, leaning against the cubicle wall. It wobbled, and he gave it a cursory glance of disapproval before standing straight again. “Sorry, I already tried. Kingsley thinks I’m the one who needs to babysit you. Thrilled to be here.”

Hermione sighed and went back to work.

She didn’t bother to look up as she thumbed through the pages of two books at the same time. “I don’t need a babysitter, Malfoy. And I’m busy.”

“So I see,” Draco said, eyeing the chaotic desk and, more importantly, the ominous crate. “What’ve you got there?”

“A delivery.”

“Very quick off the mark, aren’t you?”

She narrowed her eyes, flicking a glare his way, before flipping two pages. “I believe there are some cursed artifacts from Japan inside.” She waved her wand over the crate, muttering diagnostic charms. “I just haven’t been able to open it yet.” The diagnostic glittered into being, sparkling various red and purple hues before exploding into shimmering dust.

“I’m assuming that’s not supposed to happen?”

Her nose wrinkled. “No.”

“How long have you been at this?”

“All fuc—” she cleared her throat, forced a placid smile, and then tried again. “All day.”

She finally resigned to look at him, sitting back in her own squeaky swivel chair, she let her gaze dart over his person. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually spoken to Malfoy. Perhaps two years ago during a New Year’s party at Seamus’s pub?

He looked the same, and by the same, she meant otherworldly attractive and annoyingly posh.

He was still overwhelmingly tall compared to the average wizard—not that she expected him to shrink any time soon—but it was still jarring to witness up close. That shock of pale hair remained coiffed and shiny no matter the state of his person or the time of day, and Hermione found herself glaring at his otherwise perfect, punctilious, prim appearance.

His Auror robes were, of course, immaculately pressed and somehow looked to be without a single hint of lint or even a rogue strand of hair. She resisted the urge to look at her own robes, knowing they must be frumpled and stained from the hours she had spent crouched in various positions all throughout her cubicle.

“I figured, given the state of your hair.”

Her brows nearly hit her hairline beneath her charmed bangs, cast daily to remain in a near perfect state of just enough wispy-ness (humidity non-withstanding). She immediately pat her mane of chestnut curls, no longer frizzy and untamed as they once had been in her girlhood. Her expression darkened when the beginnings of a grin began to overtake his mouth.

Her hair charms were still perfectly fine.

Wanker, she thought, eyes turning into little slits.

Swot, his answering sneer replied.

“So, aside from your failure in figuring out what you’re looking at, what are your thoughts on why exactly my presence is needed?”

“I assume it has something to do with my overwhelming status of importance within the Ministry.”

Her smile was not coy, but positively catty.

“Yes, yes, the Wizarding World’s Leader of Innovating Ideas. I rather believe the title suggests all you know how to do is bore an audience to death with useless knowledge.”

“I’ll have you know I have a combined number of eight degrees, two of which are mastery’s and one a doctorate—”

“—Granger, I jest.”

She snapped her lips together into a tight line.

He waved a lazy hand towards the crate, resigning himself to accept their current predicament. She begrudgingly did the same.

“Catch me up to speed.”

So, she did, and somehow, Draco did not appear to be the least bit bored. He asked her questions, parroted her answers back for clarity before he streamlined some of his own opinions and observations.

[quietwings-fics]

not easy having yourself a good time

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Doctor Who Ship: SimmTwelve Additional Tags: Surprise Kissing, Episode AU: s10e11 World Enough and Time, Humor Wordcount: 756 Summary:

If the Master hadn't gotten Bill cybermanned, who's to say he wouldn't have gotten a similar greeting to what Missy did?

So his timing was a little off. These things happen.

He had a ten year long margin for error, and he’s kicking himself now for not getting it over with sooner. He’d wanted it to really get under the Doctor’s skin, how close he could come to saving his companion, to drive the perfect wedge between the Doctor and himself. Herself. For his own good, or her own good, as it stands/will stand. His future self letting the Doctor keep her on a short leash is embarrassing, but at least the Master has other things to look forward to in that body. The outfit alone had him envious from the minute he’d laid eyes on it.

It’s even better in person. He just wishes that ‘in person’ had come a few hours later. Now, he’s stuck here listening to the Doctor reunite with his poor human pet.

His future self won’t take her eyes off of him. He knows himself too well.

And now, Bill is telling the Doctor that he helped her. That he kept her safe. The Master rolls his eyes. His future self—Oh, she called herself something new. The Mistress. Missy. He likes that. He might steal it for an alias before he regenerates.—raises her eyebrow and catches on immediately to his true intentions. They’d been halfway to the conversion theater before the Doctor had swung the doors wide open and interrupted everything.

The Doctor turns from Bill to look at the Master. Around him, the Master can see Bill smiling, relieved. The Master scowls before meeting the Doctor’s eyes.

They’re wide, and soft, and surprised.

“You don’t think-“ the Master starts, with disgust, because he absolutely did not help Bill out of the kindness of his hearts, he had a scheme, he had-

The Doctor is moving. The Master straightens, but he doesn’t have a chance to move before there are hands clasping his face. He freezes up, unprepared for what follows. The Doctor kisses him like an meteor. From nowhere, it falls on him, and he can’t escape. Doesn’t try to, when the Doctor’s mouth is warm against his own, unknown to him. He’s had the Doctor’s kisses before but never from these lips. And not at all for a very long time. Like a crack widening, he’s hungry for it, starving, grasping at the Doctor in turn to get more, more, more.

The Doctor pulls back first and too soon. The Master is still hungry. He has to drag himself back to the present moment. He forces his eyes open again, unaware of when they’d shut. The Doctor strokes his face once with his thumbs before letting him go.

Missy’s mouth is pursed in something that’s half pouting, half laughter. The Master tries to think of something to say and can only exhale, gaze jumping from Missy to the Doctor and back again.

“That’s new,” he finally manages. It’s still far too breathy. Humiliating, to be undone so thoroughly and so easily. “Do you do that now?” The Doctor looks away from him. Bill’s mouth has turned into a perfect ‘O’ the way it does when she’s completely shocked. So, maybe he doesn’t.

“Only for us,” Missy preens.

Or maybe he does.

The Master licks his lips. He was… There was a plan. At some point. He tries to recall it and instead his mind replays the pressure of the Doctor’s mouth and how perfectly his hands fit around the Master’s face.

Plan. Plan. Plan. Something about Cybermen?

….Could he get another kiss like that somehow?

The Doctor is launching into a pitter-patter of a speech about finding out what’s going on inside this hospital. Or maybe about fixing Bill. The Master isn’t really paying attention. He licks his lips again. The Doctor’s taste is fading.

“So,” Missy’s voice drops conspiratorially low as she leans in close, though her eyes are on the Doctor now, “any new thoughts about our future?”

He makes a few shapes with his mouth. The words that are supposed to fit them don’t come.

“If you want him to do it again, you should really play along,” Missy suggests, “and be close to him when he’s figured something clever out. Not that I’m letting you take the next one.” He narrows his eyes at Missy. She grins, a show of teeth. Good to know he’s not entirely defanged in the future.

A future that is… more appealing than it was five minutes ago. He’s still not sold, but he could be… convinced.

(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)

[absolutebl]

best bls with external conflict (conflict outside the relationship)?

Hum, this one kind of answers this but it's not been updated in a while:

BLs With The Best External Conflict  

Until We Meet Again (Thailand) - will probably always top this list. It’s a perfectly executed story, fantastic well seeded plot twists, and the only BL I would love to see adapted by other countries or read professionally translated. There is a lot of internal strife but the conflict is the result of the sins of the past, so I think it counts.

Color Rush (Korea) - I lost my mind over the allegory and the perfection of the story to the point of forgiving it certain other sins in stiffness and low heat. The world-building is too simple for it to play well to a SF/F genre only audience but it’s absolutely groundbreaking for BL. (Color Rush 2 continues the story and while I don’t like it as a BL, and the plot is somewhat typical, it’s still better than most.) 

He’s Coming to Me (Thailand) - such a clever take on both paranormal romance and the cohabitation trope, what I love about this is how closely the story and the supernatural conceits are married to each other. Basically boy and ghost move in together, fall in love while they investigate murder. 

HIStory 3: Trapped (Taiwan) - Taiwan often struggles with story structure but Trapped is different. It has a baby murder investigation that promotes conflict between the leads, so the romantic tension is between plot and character, it’s so clever.

Long Time No See (Korea) - Catfishing assassins on either side of a turf war who fall in love not knowing they are on opposite sides. Or do they? Good fight sequences, mature characters, high heat, very suspenseful, AND an HEA. If you like KinnPorsche you will LOVE this one.

Bad Buddy (Thailand) - This was GMMTV’s flagship BL and it started 2022 on a BANG (okay no actual banging but you know what I mean), starring heavy hitters Ohm & Nanon in a pitch perfect university Romeo & Romeo masterpiece that will give you domesticity meets pain whiplash throughout and jet lag at the end. The conflict is all family and friend pressure, some of which is overworked, but it has great production values, killer acting, and some conscious effort to correct for half a decade of Thai BL’s anti-queer mistakes. Full review.

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) - this has a 12th Night meets Cinderfella feel to it, plus some great story tricks like a plot that requires a historical setting (I love it when narrative elements are codependent).

Triage (Thailand) - a “correct the past” Groundhog Day story, that has narrative baggage I normally do not like but is so clever about time loops, I have to forgive it my own hang-ups. About a doctor who must save a boy to fix reality, but not in the usual way. 

Not Me (Thailand) - GMMTV gave us a dark disestablishment narrative (in a time of civil unrest) with established queer award-winning director Anucha and starring the biggest guns of BL, OffGun and IT WAS AN AMAZING THING to get to experience at the time - nerve racking but remarkable. But was it ACTUALLY BL? It certainly has a lot of BL elements, but in the end romance was not what this show was about, or even what it was genuinely trying to be as a performance piece. Still a special moment in Thai cinema, certainly worth your time. Don’t worry, it all ends happily. Full review.

The Eclipse (Thailand) - GMMTV does gay Blacklist with a good boy/bad boy pairing. Starred First & Khaotung plus the side dish pair from FUTS NeoLouis. This is a good show but the cast was excellent and the leads were absolutely flawless elivating it beyond good. They gave us a nuanced and multifaceted burgeoning relationship: philosophical (and socio-political) conflict contrasted to moments of empathy; flirtation contrasted to moments of genuine affection. This narrative is less about love than it is about courage and tenderness. However, near the end the pacing was off and the plot frustrating. Still, this is an enjoyable watch, with an finale that features verbal consent and a funny blooper reel.

Others to try

You Make Me Dance

Manner of Death

Tinted With You

3 Will Be Free

Great Men Academy

[lost-inanotherlife]

"White Rabbit" meta: a perfect episode. pt II

Here I am back with “White Rabbit” meta part 2! You can find Part I here if you want to take a deeper look, otherwise here’s a brief summary:

“White Rabbit” focuses on three main themes: water as death (Joanna dies drowning, Jack’s “dead” father is first seen in the sea, the losties have no drinkable water left on the beach); fathers as obstacles to their sons’ individuation process (in young Jack’s flashback Christian tells Jack who he is, i.e. not a hero, while we the audience clearly see that he does have “what it takes” to be one and make hard calls); looking for (water)/following (the image of the father) as a journey, for Jack, to confront his beliefs about leadership, taking responsibility and, ultimately, “growing up”.

For part 2 I think we now have all necessary info to tackle the episode last and subtlest theme: time is running out/ time has run out. The water in the remaining Oceanic Air bottles functions as a hourglass towards imminent crisis until they also eventually disappear. At the same time, Claire, who’s pregnant and a literal time-bomb in terms of responsibility, is clearly in distress and absolutely needs to stay hydrated more than anyone else on the island (common sense but also see part I reference to the “women and children safe first” rule).

As I’ve written, precisely when the losties look at Jack for leadership, Jack disappears into the forest following the “hallucination” of his dead father into the forest. “He’s gone” are the words Jack’s mother, Margo, tells Jack when she more or less commands him to go to Australia in order to look for Christian. Jack is also gone. (do you see? Looking for water, looking for the father, going “down under”, going down the rabbit hole, following the white rabbit… I swear, this episode is so good it gives me brain orgasms).

But what else is gone?

“Water’s gone […] the doctor [‘s] gone”

The character that will connect all these narrative threads is the same that utters the following words:

“When the others find out the water's gone it's going to get ugly. And when they find out that someone pinched it, it's going to get uglier. I'll go. Camp needs you two here, especially with the doctor gone. And besides, I know where to look”.

Amid all these characters that are looking for something/waiting to follow someone that’ll tell them what to do (in this episode Sun’s looking for guidance, Claire’s looking for commodities, Shannon’s looking for help… and I could perhaps go on but you get how beautifully written this episode is just with these few examples), John Locke knows where to look. And, true to his word, he does know.

While Jack follows his father/white rabbit/hallucination (brief note: please remember that Christian is wearing white shoes. It’s not important now but it’ll be in “316”, which is this episode’s counterpart, where we’ll discover the significance and centrality of the shoes with which Christian was buried), he falls into a cliff/rabbit hole-stand-in that goes directly towards a dry stream. The metaphor couldn’t be clearer than this.

Who saves Jack from said cliff? Well, our own very John Locke in one of the best moments of this tv show. I’ve said elsewhere that Jack and John’s relationship is not easy to define. Sure, Locke is Jack’s foil from a narrative point of view, that is very clear. What I mean is that they’re not clear-cut foils: they meet each other at their borders, their own limits and limitations, and they don’t always align. Well, to be fair they almost never align.

In “White Rabbit”, however, they do. Locke is presented not exactly as a father figure to Jack but as a mentor figure, a proxy (this word will be useful for the analysis of "316") the mentor Christian could never be for his own son. Locke gives Jack a few words of advice and encourages him to continue his search: Jack needs to finish what he’s started because “a leader can't lead until he knows where he's going”. Their journeys separate there but it’ll be more than enough because this moment (the one in the screenshot) will start a chain of fatal events that constitutes the show’s backbone.

Little aside: in the meantime our other losties are also looking for water and they think that Sawyer has been hiding it to trade it for goods. Sayid tells Kate “if you wait, a rat will always lead you to its hole”. Funny right? With all these talks about white rabbits and rabbit holes, Sayid compares Sawyer to a rat, lol. Much to say about this in relation to Jack but let’s move on.

So the Doc’s been found, what about the water?

After his conversation with Locke, Jack continues his search until we find him crying alone in the jungle in the most “Alice in Wonderland” scene EVER.

All of a sudden, Jack hears the sound of ice in a glass and, deciding to follow it, comes upon the caves where fresh, spring water is waiting for him. Water’s been found! And… what else? The association between Jack and Alice continues as Jack first finds one doll and then a bunch of them scattered on the cave’s floor. Because it’s a very curious happening (dolls? In the jungle?) his attention is taken away from his Big Discovery (fresh water! Life! Nourishment!) and it’s slowly directed towards… his father’s coffin. How fucking brilliant this scene is? No, seriously, tell me.

This moment seals what we’ve been wondering for the whole episode: following his dead father, confronting the reality of his death (Christian’s death is real, it’s not a hallucination) will lead Jack to water, to a life, to nourishment for the future. He needed to take his time with it and he needed to do it alone. To cry and feel lost. All four themes have been weaved together so we’re ready for the episode’s ending.

'Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead'" (Matthew 8:21-22)

Is it a LOST episode without a good old Christian (pun intended) reference? Of course not, so get ready for a bit of Christian lore.

In case we were wondering whether a character literally named Jack Shephard was intended as a Christ-figure by the writers, “White Rabbit” basically states that this is indeed the case, we can all cease wondering. Let’s have a look at the conversation Jack has with the Oceanic Air agent at the ticket counter:

JACK: Look, you can't do this to me. I'm ready to go now. AGENT: Perhaps another carrier? JACK: No! JACK: I want you to listen to me, okay. Because I'm asking you a favor, Chrissy. I'm standing in front of you in the same suit that I'm wearing to my father's funeral and I'm asking you a favor. In 16 hours I need to land at LAX, and I need that coffin to clear customs because there's going to be a hearse waiting there. And I need that hearse to take me and that coffin to a cemetery. Why? Chrissy, why can't I just bring him to a funeral home and make all the arrangements? Why can't I really take my time with it? Because... because I need it to be done. I need it to be over. I just—I need to bury my father.

I can’t even begin to comment this little monologue here because it’s just so fucking.perfect. TV writing at its peak, I’m telling you.

First off: Jack is obviously everything but ready to “go now”. Understandably, I must add. And, I mean, he even says so: why can’t he take the time with it? There really is no explanation for it but Jack’s direct refusal to deal with his father’s death. The irony is, of course, that it’s precisely his inability to “take time with it” that’ll lead him to the island. Where he’ll very much have to confront his father and follow him into the jungle like Alice and her white rabbit. Jack states a series of “needs” that are pretty self-evident but two of them strike me the most: “I need that hearse to take ME and THAT COFFIN to a cemetery” and “I need to bury my father”.

Well, the first is also pretty self-explanatory but I just wanted to point it out to tell you how beautiful I find it: Jack and the coffin are the same thing (empty, dead, lost, add what you want here the possibilities are endless). Looking for his father means finding his coffin… but also finding water and… Jack’s sense of personhood: I am my own self, I’m not what my father told me to be.

The “I need to bury my father” is a reference to the Gospel:

"Another of his disciples said to him, 'Lord, first let me go and bury my father.' But Jesus said to him, 'Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead'" (Matthew 8:21-22).

Follow the white rabbit, follow the father and now FOLLOW ME: Jack’s ready (well… not really but I’ll come to that) to take responsibility and become the leader he can be.

Jack’s not ready because…well…. When he opens up the coffin, it turns out empty. So, in a literal way, he cannot bury his father. Also, in a more figurative way, there’s that little detail where Jack smashes his father’s empty coffin with a metal pipe so… I don’t know about you guys but this doesn’t exactly scream “I’m okay, I’m healing”, or "I'm moving on" lol.

As I’ve said in part I, “White Rabbit” seems to end on a positive note because of Jack’s famous “live together or die alone” speech but Jack’s mental health is far from okay. He does take responsibility and decides to step up and accept the burden they want to place on him mainly because of his profession (medical knowledge is power), but, as we all know, he won’t be a unifying leader (and, since we’re here, let’s also say that it won’t always be his fault like the show likes to portray). As a matter of fact, his “leadership era” actually starts with a division: one group’ll follow him to the caves and another will stay on the beach. So, not the best start after the rousing “we must all learn to live together” speech. They literally split in two after that.

“Now, I found water. Fresh water, up in the valley”.

By finding the water right on time (Jack says in his speech: “It's been six days and we're all still waiting. Waiting for someone to come. But what if they don't? We have to stop waiting. We need to start figuring things out”) Jack established himself as the de facto leader of the group and the group’s sacrificial lamb.

His speech actually references Jesus himself (“A woman died this morning just going for a swim and he tried to save her, and now you're about to crucify him?”), although he compares Boone to Jesus, Boone who was the guy who had hidden the water because he wanted to create a need in order to emerge as a hero when he would eventually “bring” the water to the people. But even much deeper than that, Jack’s speech reminds me of this:

they are before the throne of God     and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne     will shelter them with his presence. ‘Never again will they hunger;     never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat down on them,’     nor any scorching heat.  For the Lamb at the center of the throne     will be their shepherd; ‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’     ‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. (Revelation 7:14-17)

Jack is the Lamb that will be their “sheperd��� and will lead them to springs of living water (the sea in the Bible is oftern portrayed as malicious/evil in contrast to springs of water that are nourishing/good). Jack’s the guy who’s found water in the valley. Who’s figuratively turned the undrinkable, deadly water they’re all surrounded by into fresh, drinkable water, the “living water” (let's all remember how LOST ends and how central "springs of water" are in the ending)

And how did he do it? How did he manage to accomplish such a heroic deed? By following his father, the figurative God of Jack's story. The father Jack can’t bury.

It's a bittersweet ending. Good for the people because they all now have fresh water and good for Jack as well because it's important that he starts to rebel against his own "internal" Christian Shephard. But, in the end, Jack's not moved on at all. He will need more time. He will have to... go back.

Okay, woah, finally we’ve reached the end of this meta! Would you like to read more meta along these lines? I was thinking about writing about “316”, “White Rabbit”’s companion episode as I’ve said. What do you think? Would you read it? Let me know!

[willbeck]

What 'The Human Centipede' brings to the table as one of the most notorious horror films known on the internet: (A mini-essay/analysis)

Just the thought of someone's arse being sewed to your mouth is pretty much a reason enough to be absolutely disgusted by the premise of this film. 'The Human Centipede' has undeniably become one of the most notorious horror films (and also a cult favourite) on the internet. The concept itself is an intriguing matter of discussion. With thanks to Tom Six, who brilliantly executes this idea as seen in the first instalment of the franchise, using the perfect casting and setting shown in the film.

Much of the movie's success is mostly attributed to the characters. We look into the perspectives of the kidnapped victims: Two female friends, and a Japanese man - Katsuro. It is to be noted that the initial victim who was in place of Katsuro,  is killed by the hands of Dr Heiter when discovered to not share similar blood types with the others. This tells us how the villain - Dr Heiter, is not only a crazy doctor who wants to sew people together - ass-to-mouth, but that he is also very much a cold blooded murderer. While his methods may not be as brutal as the slashers we see in horror movies, there is that one look of him looking extremely stoic, smiling before he kills the first man laying on the hospital bed, as he maintains eye contact, becoming as effective in displaying the man's cruelty. Yet, this is but one of the many reasons why the antagonist of the movie is such a fascinating character to watch on screen.

In order for us to further delve into the Doctor, we need to analyse his iconic monologue:

I'm Dr Josef Heiter. Retired, but still very well known as the leading surgeon separating Siamese twins. Six months ago, I designed a never seen operation, not separating anymore but creating. I transformed my three Rottweilers into a beautiful, three hund construction. Good news! Your tissues match. So... I will explain this spectacular operation only once. We start with cutting the Ligamentum Patellar, the ligaments of the knee caps. So knee extension... Is no longer possible. Pulling from B and C, the central incisors, lateral incisors and canines... From the upper and lower Jaws... The lips from B and C... And the anus of A and B are cut circular along the border between skin and mucosa. The mucus retains so. Two pedicalated grafts are prepared and lifted from the underlying tissue. Below the chins of B to C... Up to their cheeks, connecting the circular mucosa and skin parts of anus and mouth. From A and B, to B and C... Connecting the pedicalated grafts to the chin cheek incisions. From A to B, and B to C. Creating a Siamese triplet, connected via the gastric system. Ingestion by A, passing through B, and the excretion of C... A human centipede. First sequence.

A takeaway from his monologue is how Heiter never makes solid eye contact with his victims. He is seen to be looking, scanning around the room as if he is giving a presentation, yet there is a visible barrier between him and his audience as he ignores the screams and protests from his victims. Katsuro in particular, the Japanese man who is constantly hurling insults at him in Japanese, effectively established this barrier between them by creating a LANGUAGE barrier. We as the audience witnessing what Heiter is about to do to them also do not understand what Katsuro says until we take a look at the captions. Heiter and his victims are far and apart, in two completely different worlds.

Continuing on, we see how Heiter relays about his three hund construction. Something noteworthy to mention would be how this alludes to the greek/roman mythology  of the cerberus, also coincidentally a three headed hell hound. Furthermore, Heiter's dogs are also as dark as a hellhound. When one thinks about this mythological creature from hell, it generally gives off an unsettling and intimidating feeling, especially when we read about the many stories on the cerberus. However, the fact that Heiter easily killed his dogs by creating them into a triplet/centipede completely stomps over this mythological figure, placing him in a position of a higher power as we come to the realisation that maybe. Maybe Heiter would actually get his way and create a human centipede out of his victims.

Heiter's use of medical jargon also further distances himself from his victims. They aren't doctors, they don't know what a pedicalated graft is, until they look at the illustrations flashed onscreen by the doctor. They are just typical civilians trying to survive and escape out of this madman's lair. But Heiter's persistence in delivering his speech, just like how your average doctor talks about your medicine prescription, or surgical procedure, paints the man as someone who is devoid of any human empathy. He doesn't feel for his victims (as expressed from his physical AND psychological distance from his victims) To put it simply, he just wants his human centipede.

And if we look at another one of his quotes, during the moment when he chases one of the girls:

The girl: You need help! You're a sick man!

Heiter: I am a sick man (laughs)

If you don't open up immediately, I will.. Cut your knees... And pull out your teeth one by one!  Without any anaesthesia! It's your choice!

Funny enough, there is irony in the Doctor telling the girl how it's her 'choice' when she clearly doesn't have any. She is forced to be fit into a human centipede solely for Heiter's pleasure. His laugh signifies his mockery of being called 'sick', instead of getting angry like how a normal person would, and should feel. Heiter has embraced that he may be 'sick' OR he just doesn't care so long as he gets what he wants. The girl's words have no effect on him because remember - he is distanced from his victims. No empathy is felt between them, nor is Heiter even able to express it, which is made much more prominent from how he threatened the girl back.

'Do you already regret your little escape? In fact, I'm thankful for it. Because now, I know most definitely... You, are the middle piece!' (he giggles)

Another chilling line from the surgeon himself. There is a contrast in the girl's fearful expression with Heiter's sadistic smile.

Heiter is also known to have anger issues. From the very moment when he sees one of the girls making her attempt to escape, he immediately yells in frustration as he pushes a cart onto the floor. He doesn't like his plans getting stopped or curbed temporarily. Things have to go his way, smoothly as intended. Take the other instance, when the Police arrive at his home. The man is clearly panicked and is HORRIBLE at lying. As the cops get increasingly suspicious and demanding of him, Heiter throws a fit (when he shouldn't). What was once the clear and calm surgeon shown earlier in the basement, is now reduced to a pile of anger and irrationality, which becomes his inevitable downfall later in the movie.

Now, many things can still be said about the antagonist, but to call him being the only character who made the movie a success, would be an overstatement and a disrespect to the wonderful performances of the victims. 2 best girlfriends, and an unknown stranger. The two girls' bond is so clearly seen from how one tries to save the other when given the chance to escape, trying to drag her heavy body out into the open, only to be shot by Heiter and taken back to the basement.

A tragically disgusting note would be how the two friends are so close, to the point that they are sewn ass to mouth together. We are also given the knowledge (as told by Heiter) of how one of the girls are about to die from food poisoning (well, faeces isn't exactly food but it was ingested nonetheless), which makes their situation all the more worse.

If you think about it this way:

Your precious friend is dying, right behind your arse because she swallowed your faeces. (This might sound funny, but when placed in a true situation, this is a terrifying and sad revelation).

Katsuro, the mysterious Japanese man, is also vital to the plot. Nobody knows who he is, but it is a fact that he is human just like the rest. He wants to get out of this shit situation like the girls. He doesn't know how to talk to them, but tries to communicate using whatever means possible. Yet despite all of his efforts in doing so, he inevitably chooses to commit suicide using a piece of glass, in front of Heiter. This becomes a slap to Heiter's face. Katsuro is DENYING him of his human centipede. He wants NO part in this, and refuses to give the doctor any gratification. He would rather sacrifice his life than to be forced to live a life fully entwined with Heiter's wants and needs. A commendable attack on the antagonist.

With all of this in mind, it collectively boils down to a well thought out script and plot. Yes, there's no denying that the story isn't particularly mind blowing and being a game changer for the horror genre, but it has certainly brought some value and entertainment to people like me. (otherwise why would I write this whole ass essay lmao). Setting-wise, it is simple but effective. Being trapped in a person's home may sound unimpressive for a horror fanatic, but when 'The Human Centipede' adds into this equation, it makes it all the more disturbing. Coupled with Heiter as a character, we certainly do not want to be entangled in this mess of being turned into a triplet or some sort.

[harley-michaels-main]

It's time for the year end Top 10 Webtoons of the Year ranking!!

This list is going to consist of webtoons that I have read this year for longer than six months or have read at least 100 episodes of as I have binge read a lot of things.

I will be ranking them based on how I enjoyed these series. Meaning, this is my own personal tier list. If you do not agree, that's fine. Also, this is not my top 10 of all time, only my top 10 that I've read this year.

ALRIGHT LETS GET TO IT

First off, Honorary Mentions! These are the Webtoons that I also read but didn't make the list!

The First Night With The Duke

True Beauty

Get Schooled

Night Owls and Summer Skies

Death Rescheduled

Marry My Husband

The Doctors Are Out

10: The Cursed Princess Club

I adore this series. I've been reading it since it first came out and I love everything about it. Gwendolyn is an amazing mc and I will do anything to protect her. The message behind the story is also incredible. This is a great starter series as well.

The story has started what appears to be the final season and so far this is one of my favorite arcs in the story. I loved to see how the art has evolved in the time it has been on Webtoon and I can't wait to see how this story will end.

9: Mage and The Demon Queen

This is a story that I consider to be a Webtoon classic. I love me some GL and this story is so good. It's an amazing comedy yet it also knows when to keep things serious. Not to mention that the art in this story is so beautiful.

This story ended this year and the ending was exactly what I expected of it. I don't mean that in a bad way. This story was perfect in my opinion. I hope that the author comes back to Webtoon with a new story because I love their style so much.

8: Eaternal Nocturnal

This is a newer series on Webtoon, however, the author is not. The author of this story is Instant Miso and for those who have been on Webtoon for a long time may recognize this same as she is the creator of Siren's Lament, THE Webtoon Original. This is the story that got me into Webtoons and when I discovered that she was making a new series I was into it already.

This story is so incredible and I love that the creator is growing with her audience as this story already has darker tones then her previous stories. I am obsessed with the art style so much and it's crazy how beautiful the art continues to get the deeper you get into the story.

7: Batman: Wayne Family Adventures

I. LOVE. THIS. SO. MUCH.

I love me a found family and this is perfect at doing that. A beautiful mixture of comedy, seriousness, and found family. I am not a DC fan. Like, at all. I barely watch the movies and I've never read the comics. Yet, my friend introduced me to this Webtoon and I fell in love with it.

This actually caused me to look into DC and start falling in love with the actual characters. This story is so sweet and amazing. I love it so much.

6: Not So Shoujo Love Story

Like I said, I love me some GL. This is one of my favorite Webtoons of all time. This story is so funny, sweet, and beautiful. The art in this story is so beautiful. The characters are so hilarious and Rei is one of my favorite MC's. She is so funny and relatable I love her some much.

For anyone looking for a good LGBTQ story, I highly recommend this story. It's a romance comedy and perfect for those who are starting out on Webtoons.

5: Homesick

If you love apocalyptic series I highly recommend this one. The MC is such a badass and everything about it leaves me on edge. This series is rated Mature so bare that in mind if you check it out. The art style is so eye catching and the use of color is absolutely perfect.

This story is so good in so many ways. I love the twists and turns throughout the story. It always keeps me guessing as to what will come next and I can't wait to see what comes next.

4: The Remarried Empress

This is my introduction to Manwha and I love it. The story is so amazing and the characters are as well. I adore Navier and Heinery. Soveshit and Trashta are also perfect characters. NOT GOOD PEOPLE BUT GOOD CHARACTERS. I am making it blatantly obvious here that I do not support either of those two but I do love them as characters and how they drive the plot forward. I sincerely cannot wait for them to get what they deserve.

If you want to get into Manwha but don't want the reincarnation trope or living as a book character then I highly recommend this story. The art is breathtaking. Everything about this story is great including the fandom, from what I've seen.

3: My Giant Nerd Boyfriend

IF YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS THEN YOU KNOW WHAT JUST RECENTLY HAPPENED AND YOU KNOW WHY i AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY AAAHAHAHAHHHH

Such an adorable slice of life story that covers everything from comedy, to loss, to struggles, to the growth of relationships. This is one of the Webtoon originals and I wish the creator nothing but happiness from the rest of her life to come.

2: Windbreaker

Those who know me know that this is my favorite Webtoon of all time. I absolutely love everything about this Webtoon. The characters, the art, the storyline. Everything about it.

This Webtoon is currently going through it's final season and I am loving it. We're finally getting answers to questions as well as some much needed character development. It may be a long series, but I always recommend this story.

1: Odd Girl Out

THE WEBTOON ORIGNAL TO ME. YOU WANT DRAMA? BOOM! YOU WANT ROMANCE? BOOM! YOU WANT STUNNING ART? BOOM! YOU WANT INCREDIBLE CHARACTERS? BOOM! YOU WANT A BINGE WORTHY READ? BOOM!

Honestly this series has taken such a hold on me. Nari is one of my favorite characters of all time across any platform. I will protect her with my life and I am so proud of her growth since the first season to now. Not only her, but the other characters as well. All of them. They're all so different and amazing. I love learning about all of them.

[hismercytomyjustice]

I’ve been thinking about this on and off for the past few days, and just wanted to say:

Please be mindful of the things you say to people who are mentally ill. An offhand, poorly thought out comment can do a lot more damage than you think.

I’m not saying you have to walk on egg shells, but everyone is going through their own personal struggles and try to keep that in mind before you say something that might not be the kindest or best comment.

I’m okay (thanks to years of therapy), but I had a doctor say something to me the other day that could have sent me into a downward spiral if I wasn’t in a better and more self-aware place right now.

Basically she asked me if there was anything I thought might get in the way or make me struggle with the lifestyle treatment suggestion she gave and I let her know I have perfectionism OCD with compulsions primarily around rumination and avoidance. That it can and does often get in the way of me making changes, even positive ones. Even things I want to do. I see my sights too high, to the point of unattainability, and then inevitably fail because my goals are impossible or I become so overwhelmed I just shut down. And then I fall into guilt spirals about how much of a failure I am which, shockingly, makes everything worse!

I could tell she was genuinely trying to understand. And tbh, I didn’t even know perfectionism OCD was a thing until fairly recently. I just assumed my perfectionism was a good thing, a positive personality trait that I was lucky to have because it would make me an even better person! And I live in the US, where grindset and “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” and hustle culture are practically gospel. I’m sure it’s similar in other countries too, I just mean that it is the “American Dream” and has been for a very long time now.

Every advertisement promises if you do this one thing or buy this one product, your life will improve. And who doesn’t want their life to improve? There’s a cult-like obsession with progress and perfection in the US and elsewhere. The self-help industry is a multi-billion dollar industry that makes all kinds of silver-tongued promises.

It wasn’t until I picked up the book How to ADHD that I realized why self-help strategies and books often didn’t work for me despite the time, money, research, and effort I put into them. They all assume a regular/normal level of executive functioning in their audience. Something I, also having ADHD, do not have.

So when my doctor replied with “there’s nothing wrong with having high standards,” that was one of the absolute worst things she could say to me. Because yes, in theory. But I feel like that’s similar to telling an addict “one little hit can’t hurt.” Not to conflate the two, as they’re very different issues/struggles. But the problem with OCD is compulsions are coping mechanisms to reduce anxiety. In this metaphor, a compulsion is like a “hit.” It makes you feel briefly better in the moment, but it will ultimately make everything worse. The road to relapse in OCD is paved with lapses. Indulging in a compulsion is a lapse.

She also offhandedly said, “I’ll see you again in six months, so you have six months to get it together.”

I don’t think she was trying to be cruel or anything, especially since this is more so a preventative treatment suggestion than a do-or-die one, but wow what an objectively insensitive thing to say.

The old me would have been destroyed by this. I would have immediately fallen into guilt spirals and sank myself into research (reassurance seeking/rumination) to find the best, most perfect, most foolproof way to do what she suggested. I would have spent hours or even days coming up with a plan that accounts for every variable self-help culture has taught me I should consider.

I would have made SMART goals. Researched the perfect steps to take (even though I’ve already done this multiple times in the past and already know this info because this has been an ongoing area of frustration for me) . Would have written out my plan, sprinkling in elements of Atomic Habits (anticipating challenges and how to handle them, finding the right trackers, habit stacking, etc). I would have bought new equipment that would surely, surely, surely work for me this time because I just have to find the right solution and everything will fall into place and I won’t be a failure anymore. Right? RIGHT???

And, to an outsider, this would all look great! Lookit me go! I’m doing all the things self-help promises will fix me! I’m investing time and energy into this! Clearly I’m motivated and knowledgeable and this kind of behavior should be encouraged, rewarded, lauded!

The thing is, I’ve done this countless times already. The research, the goals, the planning… And it has never worked. Largely because of a mix of my OCD and ADHD. And I would have inevitably failed and been in an even worse place than I am now and I would blame myself for it every step of the way, dread my follow up appointment, and incessantly ruminate on how I failed, what I could have done better, and how this doctor is going to be so disappointed in me when I see her again in six months.

I am proud to say that I did not do any of that! And for me, that is a good thing! It’s a huge sign of progress and self-awareness on my part that has only been possible because of all the work I’ve done over the years in therapy and by getting treatment specific to OCD! My therapist would be THRILLED!!!

It’s not that I’m going to ignore this suggestion for my doctor, but I’m going to have to find a different, healthier way to approach it so that it doesn’t get wrapped up in my OCD.

I don’t know what that approach is yet, but it’s definitely something I’m going to work with my therapist on. And I’m so, so grateful I’m in a good enough place that this didn’t massively set me back on my OCD recovery process. I am trying very hard to get my OCD to go into remission. You can’t get rid of it entirely, but you can get it under control.

So yeah, this is just a super long-winded way of reminding folks to think before they speak, especially when someone with mental illness trusts you enough to share their struggle with you.

[nuwho20zine]

"Things end, that's all. Everything ends, and it's always sad. But everything begins again too, and that's always happy. Be happy. I'll look after everything else."

STORY OF THE WEEK: Christmas Specials

Release date: 25 December 20XX Main characters: Various Main villain: Various

Maybe one of the most beloved NuWho traditions, the Christmas Special always feels like a special time for “Doctor Who”; in fact, I think it’s fair to say that a lot of fan-favorite episodes came out on December 25th, and it would be impossible to choose just a single one to highlight–so we'll just shout them all out instead!

Even in harsh times, there is always good to be found in the world, but we must always strive to put it out there ourselves, even when it seems impossible. Stay safe out there, and have a happy holidays. - Mr Hobbes

Christmas time is a special time for the Doctor: a time for regeneration (“A Christmas Invasion”, “The Time of the Doctor”, “Twice Upon a Time”), a time to meet new future companions (“The Runaway Bride”, “The Snowmen”, “The Church on Ruby Road”), a time for one-off adventures with special people (“Voyage of the Damned”, “The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe”, “The Return of Doctor Mysterio”), a time to face the past and accept what has been (“The Next Doctor”, “The End of Time”).

Personally, it would be impossible to me to choose a single episode: David Tennant absolutely nails his first day on the job in “The Christmas Invasion”; Donna and Ten are as fiery and fun as ever in their first meet up in “The Runaway Bride”; “A Christmas Carol” feels like a wonderful, whimsical reinvention of the classic; “Last Christmas” gives me all the Clara x Twelve duo feels I could ever want; and “The Husbands of River Song” is a perfect balance of shenanigans and emotional, just to name a few episodes.

I’m certainly not alone in loving each Special exactly for its uniqueness. Mr Hobbes, a writer for the zine, says: “Whether it’s killer Santas with flamethrower trumpets, evil psychic snowmen, deadly spinning trees, goblin musical numbers, Doctor Who pausing the episode so he can break the fourth wall to wish the audience a very merry Christmas (RIP The Feast of Steven), or literally just A Christmas Carol, you’re always guaranteed to watch something delightfully insane. Personally, I’m quite partial to A Christmas Carol, considering that revisiting various events in a man’s past and future so he won’t passively further the evils of capitalism is just something that melds great with Doctor Who. But of course, if you’re in a more melancholy mood for the holidays, the survival horror of Voyage of the Damned provides an excellent tragic little tale (also Kylie Minogue is there). And there can be no doubt that The Church On Ruby Road has to be the funniest episode on television where a gaggle of intergalactic goblins sing about how much they want to eat a baby, while also serving as a lovely introduction for the Fifteenth Doctor. But perhaps the Christmas special that most embodies the spirit of the season, the kindness of humanity and the importance of your loved ones, is Twice Upon A Time. Bittersweet but satisfying, perfectly accentuated by the choice to visit the 1914 Christmas Truce. Even in harsh times, there is always good to be found in the world, but we must always strive to put it out there ourselves, even when it seems impossible. Stay safe out there, and have a happy holidays.” You can find Mr Hobbes at @idkaguyorsomething

The Christmas Special tradition continues this year in “Joy to the World”, and I can't wait 💛

Tell us: what Christmas Special are you revisiting this holiday season? Feel free to go for a trip down memory lane on our Instagram!