i said this in my tags before but i find jaime’s confession motif so interesting. the aerys confession is to a young knight idealistic person with a kind of black & white view of the world. it is the first time he is honest about it all, and we know how much weight that has. the second confession, or series of confessions, (but i think there is one major one in those) is to ilyn. ilyn is the lannister executioner that laughs. it is like jaime is in conversation with himself at different stages of his life. he keeps talking to mirrors. and what he says is what is most relevant to those specific mirrors. and he wants something. stoneheart is gonna be a new stage. it is gonna be another confession but different from the one in the dungeon. they are both at very different places. also, there, jaime was in chains, i think on a metaphorical level too (the chains of his own persona, the chains of the lack of pov, who knows who knows, but that motif keeps going in asos: “you’ll wear your chains, kingslayer”.) but that jaime was killed by the arakh. what will that confession look like now?
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candlelight
this certain dynamic abt millywood that goes beyond wolfwood simply yearning for milly—how he deems her as a mother, a lover, an enemy, a friend, a curse, a salvation—how milly becomes a symbol he can't put into a word, and it scares him and he wants to bury himself in it and beg for forgiveness all the same...
wolfwood knowing he has nothing to be forgiven of (that he's a sinful, sinful man) but THE YEARNING FOR ONE. the thought of how getting close to her feels like it'll melt away his 'impurities' (which is him entirely, he'll be GONE), but still clinging to her as both humanity and a heretic icon of worship......
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Okay, so merthur fic idea: Merlin becomes really cold and calculating by like season 3 or 4, now the change was so gradual and subtle that Arthur didn't really notice until Merlin killed a magical threat without even blinking, but by that point it was too late to do anything, so he learned to live with it. Until one day, a trickster spirt decided to play a joke on Merlin and Arthur by giving Merlin back his original bubbly personality. Merlin wakes up and realizes that he hadn't slept that good in years. He felt lighter as he walked through the halls and was bantering with Arthur in a way that he hadn't done in years. However, he quickly begins to feel off and realizes that this is the work of magic. He tells Arthur and Arthur, who has been absolutely star-struck at seeing Merlin finally happy again, is absolutely crushed that this was only the work of magic. One angst filled adventure later, and Merlin is back to his cold calculating self, wondering why he feels so empty again, and Arthur is wondering if he will ever get to see that light in Merlin's eye again.
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a silly shoujo concept with jade where he picks up your notebook after you've left it in class. resourceful eel that he is, he flips through the pages out of curiosity. he's certain he'll just find your notes or doodles you've made out of boredom, but it never hurts to pry just a little. he won't tell a soul if he finds anything embarrassing. certainly not!
to his surprise, he finds a bucket list of sorts, which details all of the things you hope to accomplish by the end of your time at nrc. you're quite methodical about this list. there are academic goals. personal goals. social goals. you've checked some of them off: do well on this year's midterm. commit to an exercise routine. make more friends. etc. etc.
but then he happens upon the romantic goals. things like holding hands, kissing, cuddling, going on dates, sharing meals... he reads through every item on this specific list and finds himself blushing like a lovestruck maiden. it's not because of the nature of this list but, rather, the notes you've made in the margin: possible people to try this with: jade leech?
and his name is the only one you've written! :O is this...an indirect love confession? do you have feelings for him? is now a good time to hopefully try to kindle a deeper bond with you after he's spent so much time pining from the sidelines??????
tl;dr - jade wants to be the one to complete the goals on your romance list, but you're too prideful (and suspicious of him) to admit you'd ever think of him in such a light! that's too embarrassing! too much opportunity to be exploited. and jade's a bit of a shameless coward.
so he decides there's only one solution: he's going to try to court you. the mer way. the human way would be much too obvious, after all. ^^;;;;
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the thing about larys strong is that i think he's been lonely his entire life, lonelier than even he realised/admitted to himself. he craves connection, someone to see him for who he is. and that's what's been guiding most of his actions throught the entire time we've known him.
when he saw alicent being unheard and unseen, he tried to form a connection with her as he saw himself in her (through manipulations of course, but his intention there when saying "i could be your ally" were sincere). but she rejected him (by refusing to see him as a man, by being horrified at his true self (the harrenhal fire), etc) and thus he grew to resent her and want to control her/humiliate her like she "humiliated him", probably thinking it was enough because of the power she gave him.
but then viserys died and alicent's power died with him.
spoilers for season 2 of house of the dragon below the cut
i think his "love" for her... changed or was put on the back of his mind after 2x04, especially after he sees the moon tea and she's in pain. when he asks her about criston, his reaction to her words is as if he is confused, as if he's recalculating what he thought of her because he's seeing her in a whole new light.
and maybe he is seeing her truly for the first time ever.
he said "you and i are the same", was always listening in on her conversations to gather information, maybe even convincing himself by doing so that she truly was like him. but, i think that, when larys says "you have not been yourself" is his way of saying "who are you? are you who i've always thought you were or someone i do not know?" and has to change his view of her, of what he convienced himself he saw in her.
maybe he sees that he's been living in a lie made of his own words.
so, when the council scene happens, he pities her and rejects her idea, because it has no ground and she's grasping at straws. (i do think he does feel sorry for rejecting her but he also doesn't have enough solid ground with aemond as regent (his position in the small council is fairly new) and slighting aemond would cost him the power he has, so he stays quiet and looks away).
however, he also manages to drive a nail to alicole's coffin but he walks away without looking back at the mess it left.
they then don't share a scene at all for the rest of the season.
from then on all his scenes are with aegon, and we see a side of larys we haven't seen before.
ageon gave him power (of course larys manipulated aegon with the Hand comment) because of his "loyalty" following blood and cheese (i still believe larys "let it happen") and made him his master of whispers. he placed larys in the small council (when alicent never did in the 6 years she acted as regent) and gave him status outside of the dungeons. he "brought him [larys] out of the shadows" in a way.
the show has made a point to tell us, since episode one of season two, that larys has been looking at aegon the same way he used to look at alicent in season one, staring him down as if he could see what he's made of, constantly analysing and calculating how to best approach him.
he made small attempts at conversations and funny lines ("that castle is more crippled than me") as the whole alicent thing is going on.
and then the battle of rook's rest happened.
with aegon barely holding on, we have a scene where larys is honest, vulnerable, sincere maybe for the first time ever (yes there's manipulation, but also genuine compassion). he sees the struggles aegon will have to face because he lived them himself.
like with alicent in the weirdwood, he tried to form a connection with aegon. but where alicent "rejected" his true self, aegon instead listened to what larys was saying, saw the truth in it and raged, which made larys feel seen and heard, beyond manipulation and twisted words, probably for the first time in his life
larys, for all his talk that love is a downfall, craves connection, the desire to not be alone in the world. he does feel love.
and whereas alicent rejected his love and was disgusted by his true self, aegon welcomed his help, invited his advice, and embraced his aid to become stronger
i think larys will be loyal to him as long as aegon allows his love and it does not fester into resentment, like his love for alicent did
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