#who am I if I can’t carry it all
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thanks for the tags @welcometololaland @kiwiana-writes @heartstringsduet 💖
have a little more of my June fic, which is the only wip I can share anything from atm:
“It’s not something I’ve been planning for a long time, Evan. I really was planning to go to California with you. It’s just…” her voice breaks.
“It’s just what? We can make it work.” He grabs her hand and for a moment, June lets herself think that maybe it can work, that they can do long distance. She knows it won’t last though, that her life in DC is going to be so foreign from the life they had planned together. If she’s pining for what could have been, she’ll never accept what her life for what it is.
June hesitates, because Evan has never understood, not really. “It’s Alex. I’m moving to DC.”
“Alex isn’t a kid anymore, June. He’s in college.” Evan only barely manages to hide the bitterness in his voice.
“He needs me.”
“Did he say that?” June just shakes her head, willing the tears that are gathering in her eyes to disappear. “Does he even know what you’re planning?”
The truth is, June hadn’t told Alex that she’d planned to move to California because she didn’t know how to break it to him. Alex just assumed that she’d be moving to DC as soon as she finished up at UT because as far as he’s concerned, it’s a given that they’ll be together.
June can’t be another person who’s left him.
Tagging: @liminalmemories21 @freneticfloetry @indestructibleheart @maxbegone @happiness-of-the-pursuit @14carrotghoul @ships-to-sail @tintagel-or-cockleshells @dumbpeachjuice @read-and-write- @stereopticons @three-drink-amy @cha-melodius @cricketnationrise @myheartalivewrites @anchoredarchangel and also @mostlyinthemorning @blackandwhiteandrose (would love more tasty original writing treats from you both 🙏🏽) and an open tag! (Tag me back pls 💖)
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I’m being very brave at 1am this tuesday morning, there’s a queer gathering event for my grad school tonight and if i want The Rewards Of Being Known i am going to have to endure The Presence Of My Ex and every neuron i have thinks i’m being hunted by tigers just for saying yes to the invite. We’re not even on bad terms (afaik) i just have no data on how many ppl there will be, and i’m terrified of seeming like a creep just for showing up in the same space as them. Fuck and Damn and Hell.
#my stuff#there could be 5 ppl there could be 30#they could show up and unexpectedly despise me or want to see me or not show up at all#there could be 4 other transfems or none#i don’t want to be the only rep of my kind i don’t want our personal conflict to ruin this for either of us#but i don’t know what else to do but show up as emotionally armored as possible and to do my best to give space#that’s way harder with fewer ppl tho#form a bowling game with 6 ppl while not talking to one of em get real#there’s a wound in my soul that i desperately want them to help fill but i CAN’T ASK. any kindness HAS to come from them bc they#were the one who ended the relationship AND the friendship bc they wanted other ppl more#i’m the pathetic one who’s still carrying this. i would rather die than crawl for them after being cast aside twice#but i’m still in pain and i’ve tried everything to fix it and nothing fills the hole#so here i am in an uncertain environment with someone who has caused me pain and has the ability to alleviate it somewhat#but i can’t ask for it. and that tension will be ongoing while i have to mask hard around unknown number of strangers#i’m gonna sleep like shit
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I don’t know how to express how important it is to me that there are free droids fighting as rebels in star wars.
they are set free and they’re like the empire sucks we got to kill that virus
rebel droids. It’s just so crucial to me somehow
#and the fact that anakin betrays r2d2 and c3po and is like hunting them#it’s just like such a massive detail#the fact that lucas made these two droids who linked the twins and helped carry the message that saved the galaxy that they used to be major#parts of anakin’s life…it’s so interesting to me#and then you have chopper. beloved.#I didn’t get to see all of kenobi before my disney+ ran out but the droid in that show that was like a metal worker or soemthing? it can’t#even talk but it will absolutely beat an imp to death#if it needs to#hell fucking yeah#droid rights droid rights!#k2so#bb8#there are others but I am having memory issues today
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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So I was reading articles about John Hurt (as I do when I procrastinate on life in general lol) and I saw a still shot of a movie I’ve never seen still shots of before; so I looked it up. It’s a play. I was worried I wouldn’t find it in full online; but I did, so here it is in all its glory:
youtube
He’s just… ugh I want to gently hold his face in my hands he’s just so sad and lonely with his weepy voice and eye bags. I couldn’t process half of what he said but I think this is a warning about always speed-running through life to get to the next good thing. We should appreciate the moment; because in the end, we’ll have nothing at all but our memories. If we rush through life, we won’t have any memories to keep us warm at night when the chill of death creeps up on us in our old age.
Also, spool, spooooooooooollll…….
spoooooooooooooooooooooolllllll [cackles in mentally unstable]
@kaleidoscopr @theindo @possessedbydevils @randomtwospirit
#The fucking banana. I was talking to him through the screen like#“…a banana??? You keep bananas in…. there? You good man? A—are you okay?#What the hell are y—” [cracks up but quickly stops laughing] “Oh— oh honey… you’re not right are you?#No you’re not right. Uh…. Why don’t you sit down; your breathing sounds awful. You sound like you’re gonna die…#OH GOD [loses my shit laughing/cringing ] “Oh— oh ouch. No no no— I’m not laughing at you I just— I like your actor…#a lot… too much probably#and he’s just good at what he does and the timing of it all… this is exactly how I act when I’m home alone#I swear I’m not laughing at you… I just— PUT THAT BANANA BACK YOU’RE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF”#John Hurt#stage acting#Krapp’s Last Tape (2001)#Samuel Beckett#Yeah… funky stage play. Very moving and dreamlike#[This is me gently holding Mr. Krapp and rotating him in my mind like a bowl of ramen in a microwave]#Screaming crying throwing up beating the walls#I am unwell#Ough ough ough#It’s not difficult for me to watch per se#but I’m very much the kind of person who HAS to help when someone’s having a hard time doing something#— especially if they’re old or otherwise infirm — or I’ll feel like a piece of shit for weeks… and this fucking man#this fucking man is so good at being frail and pitiful that I feel genuinely agitated that I can’t reach into the screen and help him#It’s like the torture scene in 1984 all over again where he just barely manages to wrench himself upright on the table#then immediately falls off onto the concrete floor with the most tragic sickening bone-grinding splat you’ve ever heard#AND HAS TO HOIST HIMSELF UP ONTO HIS FEET ALL BY HIMSELF WHEN HE’S MALNOURISHED AND EXHAUSTED#Like ughhhhhh let me pick him up and wrap him in a blanket and carry him somewhere warm and safe and make him an omelette#And I know I write whump and I shouldn’t be this sensitive#but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MR. HURT YOU ARE KILLING ME#Youtube
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i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it
#i feel like it’s getting worse too#like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad#why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it#making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever#it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with#/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what#that action is#besides the two options i said before#or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week#problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule#i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat#so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes#i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory#of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3#having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream#anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow#me rambling#i love being undiagnosed#but let’s be real#being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse#because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation#and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them#feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do#vent
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being in your 20’s sucks cause it’s like oh boohoo i have bills and pressure to make permanent life plans. guess i’ll get so stressed i want to kill myself about it
#op#i’m 22 i have no prospects no fucking degree#nothing to show for my fucking existence#alls i do is doordash for money and sit at home and cry about money#i have over $700 in medical bills from my infections and my doctor’s appointment that insurance decided not to cover for no reason#and i just. why am i pointless#i used to be smart and promising and want to do things with my future and now i’m just some#idiot ugly insufferable unemployed fuck who cries about everything and can’t sleep from stress#god.#AND ITS NOT EVEN AN ORIGINAL KIND OF MISERY#i can’t even claim to be unique for feeling this way!!!#so i won’t get any comfort for this other than. oh well Feeling Like That is Normal for your early 20’s#and i’m just expected to pick up and carry on and hope it gets better fucking. a decade from now#i don’t want it to be better a decade from now. i want it to be better now#whatever
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thanks for the tags @kiwiana-writes (even if they told heinous lies about me) @heartstringsduet @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad! With Call Me now fully written and posting, I’ve gone back to writing my June fic:
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The next time June sees Alex emerge from his room, dressed to go running, she tells him to wait and she’ll come with him. It becomes a regular thing, Alex even starts asking her if she wants to go. They don’t talk, just run, but he slows down and allows her to keep up with him.
The first time though, Alex ties on his ratty old sneakers and runs, fast and hard; so fast that June can’t keep up. When she catches up to him at the end, lying on the grass sucking in oxygen, she lies down beside him, staring up at the clouds floating across the blue sky.
“Bear,” June says eventually, breaking their silence.
Alex looks at her then back up at the sky. “Fuck off, that’s a duck.”
June follows his gaze. “No, not that one, over there.” She points. “That one is a bear. Yours looks like a dinosaur.” She pokes him in the ticklish spot on the left side of his ribs.
“Don’t,” he whines, squirming and rolling over to poke her back.
She grabs a fistful of the manicured grass, tearing it and throwing it into Alex’s face before standing up as quickly as she can and taking off towards the Residence at a run.
Alex catches her as they run inside, giggling as they catch sight of Zahra glaring at them while she’s on the phone when they run down a hallway, shoving each other as they walk towards their bedrooms.
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Tagging in the RWRB fam so as not to bug everyone else with my beloved June @welcometololaland @indestructibleheart @three-drink-amy @orchidscript @maxbegone
@sherryvalli @hearitinthesilencesilence @happiness-of-the-pursuit @liminalmemories21 @lightningboltreader
@celeritas2997 @porcelainmortal @leaves-of-laurelin @cha-melodius @cricketnationrise
And an open tag for anyone else who wants to play 💖
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#its always the fucking chemistry projects that ruin my life#not ready to go back to school ... getting home late & eating the same food everyday & having less free time & hanging out with the same few#people i honestly! don’t even like that much.. zzz i don’t wanna receive my test results either – esp not for math#and i KNOW it gets 100x worse in a college/uni/work environment i think i’m just being a bit of a crybaby but i can’t bring myself to#look forward to anything at all. pass my exams & graduate yay ^__^ -> immediately go back and study some more#then i’ll have to get a job and afhjdkf... maybe i’m thinking too far ahead but it all feels inevitable anyways so does it matter if i am?#i don’t know why i’m struggling so much compared to my peers who don’t see any of this as an issue at all#was i cursed to be sad since primary school#i can’t even talk to anyone about it because my dad [ though he has good intentions ] almost always ends up feeding me a variant of#think about your future Or thats just how student life is. meanwhile my mom will begin a competition of Who Has It Worse?!#my sister has her own stuff going on and my religious aunt will say something along the lines of [ have faith & go with the flow ]#i wish i had someone to confide in but i only ever really have myself i think. it sucks cuz no one seems to get it at all#i know objectively thats probably not true but. ahh i feel so disconnected from everyone#cw negative#cw vent#i didnt intend for this to become a whole thing but i got carried away#💭
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Say what you like about TikTok but it has been a positive influence on my mom re: her attitudes about therapy and gender nonconformity.
#she never thought it was morally wrong or bothered people about being gnc#but she would call me and be like your brother is painting his nails and of course I can’t SAY anything about it#and I would be like mom do you think I am the audience for this#and also how are you shocked#(a) your son is a crunchy leftist who’s mostly friends with lesbians#(b) you used to paint his nails! i dressed him up in my old ballet clothes all the time! he used to carry a purse around harris teeter!#he filled it with coupons and fisher-price cowboys#which tbh was a very fun gender performance#anyway: now she thinks it’s neat#we all get set in our ways
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"This extra space next to me belongs to you. I know where I end now. I won't get lost." -- shoot me (metaphorically) and leave me for dead (metaphorically) why won't you. To make this about Dylan and maybe it's about Connor, maybe it's about Brinksy, maybe it's about any journeyman in the NHL. My brain screamed Chris Driedger and his memorable (to me) Players' Tribune article:
And how can you mention Dylan and Zach (Za-ach, the way Dylan says it) without me having a breakdown about them? You simply can't. And for the younger dudes, maybe it's a little Bords/Briss, not yet steady in The Show, a little bit of distance, a summer that tries to erase and make up all the memories they've made separately... and then a blurry insta story in Vegas. Just like old times but somewhere else. Maybe it's not the same bed, maybe it's not the same set of forks, but maybe it's the principle of the thing.
Anyway, goodbye. Sorry for this, your tag walls make me break out in imagined scenarios.
Much love. xxx
please never be sorry for sending me messages <3 i love reading them i love getting them i think they’re beautiful and i love them i’m!!!!! [🥹💕🦋🫧✨💘😭 <- the best approximation of what my heart is doing]
ok NOW i am taking this step by step because every narrative here kicked me straight in the knees (metaphorically) i am w e e p i n g (literally): i knew tangentially about chris driedger going to seattle but i had never read his players’ tribune love letter to seattle & all i can say is oh. oh. and with the part about trains delayed but still being right on time—
sometimes a dream is a truth your heart knows long before you do. the space that the city and the team made for him (“you’d be the only guy on the team”)🗣️🗣️🗣️ !!! but the way that chris talks about needing to put in the work & leo not letting him quit,,, that’s chris filling up the teakettle with twice as much water, crowding one side of the bed (falling asleep against a bus window dreaming), becoming unburdened by the idea of not being their guy, not having the fallback being their draft pick to content and settle himself with. that’s chris betting on a future. that’s the train coming down the tracks, right on time.
(i am feeling unhinged about it)
SECOND. i know i was the one that said zach and dylan to start so technically i brought this on myself but also i have been ktfo by the mere mention of the way that dylan says zach’s name different from everyone else, stealing an extra breath, stealing as much time as he can get with him, which reminded me of a poem i just read:
The Need Is So Great, Jim Moore
^^^dylan still in love with zach even as he’s leaving, can feel himself losing him, and taking every sliver of the love in his smile that he can get. even if he knows zach doesn’t still feel the same way he’s drawing out the long goodbye & saying i love you in a thousand ways without ever saying it out loud (“i have been asking for a time but in ways that have no words” because he doesn’t want to ask too much, to ask for love) in the hope that zach will say it back OKAY I’M LEAVING i can’t do this
that was a lie because THREE. “maybe it’s the principle of the thing” please insert the most ungodly screech how could you just (lovingly) come in straight with the steel chair and bean me upside the head with that l i n e i think this story has the potential for such tragedy in it but also the most tender domestic longing because bords & briss have known each other for a long time (i think) and guys do sometimes lose themselves when they first get to the nhl.
it’s a big scene, you’re with big name guys, you’re finally doing the thing you always dreamed about, you’re no longer necessarily the best because everyone’s the best, you’re not sure how you fit in, you can get lost in the glitz and the glamor of it but you can also literally get lost in it, the slog of the season and getting caught up and down between teams and leagues and endless airports and buses and travel and ice rinks, losing your phone (accidental) and having new people hound you for quotes and fame and connection so you lose your phone (on purpose) and i think where i’m trying to go is: this could play out as the tragedy of borde going to the california coastline and briss shipping off to the vegas strip and both of them getting a little lost.
maybe there’s someone else, maybe i am steadfastly not thinking about “a summer that tries to erase and make up all the memories they've made separately” as either a summer of them pretending things are ok after a year of barely speaking and now being completely different people they never were before OR a summer of them trying to pretend like they can forget about each other because maybe they didn’t think their relationship was the same thing, is all, when they were or weren’t together. maybe it’s nobody’s fault but for the fact that they were scared and tired and lonely trying to make it in the big times and didn’t know how to show it. and then borde shows up with takeout and plastic forks in vegas and it’s december and nothing like winter in ann arbor and still they fill up all the empty spaces in each other with the things they didn’t know they’d miss until they were gone and this is the real thing, not whatever they were trying too hard to be, to recreate their own nostalgia for the love in their memories. it’s the principle of the thing, is all, to always be true to the love they have right now & not what they think it should be.
sorry that i wrote you kind of an essay of an answer but i had so so so many thoughts because your ask was so lovely so thank you for sending it to me (you are always welcome to!! i love your imagined scenarios!!! cannot even explain how much!!!) & thank you for taking the time to read my walls of tags :))) <3
#liv in the replies#every time you send me a message i do the thing where i’ve got heart emojis for thumbs & cease any coherency#FIRSTLY chris driedger who i loved as seattle’s goalie without even knowing the story:#dreidger fourth layer of a dream is making me tear up AGAIN hours later as i try to write this the echl the coast easy come hard to leave &#when he talks about being somebody’s guy laying my head down in the bog & dragging my hands over my face chris who let you say that. who let#u break my HEART i truly don’t think i will ever recover from the inception reference bc that’s what they all talk abt u know? the nhl dream#the players’ tribune articles are often some of the most poetic & touching sports writing & every time i am reminded i lose my shit about it#SECONDLY:#the ever present spectre of dylan’s first boyfriend zach werenski#i have so so so many quotes? drafts? posts? about the thing with saying someone’s name to call them closer to you i say your name to speak#more of you into the world so i will possibly look for some of those to say what i mean but also: this poem was originally reminiscent of#willingly by tess gallagher which is my ajax jack / superbuddies poem & this specifically did go with the a drop of paint / the light has#fallen through you part of it but there’s a part of THIS poem which i did not include that talks about the late light / has already happened#will go on happening forever & that whole poem with this now to say i know it’s embarrassing i’m asking for it :: easy to write about light#like falling asleep on the couch & having to carry yourself up to bed is the dylan/zach heartbreak of this. waiting & waiting for the things#you used to do & the love you used to / were promised to have with the hope that if you keep the coffee ready he’ll come drink it & instead#you have too many cups of tea one yours & one cold then half-warmed over & too sweet for your tastes but you’ve learned to drink it anyway#okAY now third:#this w/the UMICH BOYS? N O I DIDN’T EVEN!!! NOT A THOUGHT IN MY BRAIN!!! & now i can’t stop thinking!!! & i had an entire PLAYLIST already#a ??? while ago before i even truly knew the umich boys Narratives™️ i heard maude latour’s song ‘one more weekend’ & went hahaha isn’t that#a great song for when you have that One Summer of college before everyone splits off into their own lives? isn’t that a fun little umich boy#going into the nhl narrative?? to which i said NO but then it spiraled into a playlist &now there is delightful heartbreak to go with vibes#umich scholars please feel free to correct me if i’m wrong on any points i can’t remember anything presently about anything#also the f a c t that that vegas picture is real and i know exactly what you’re talking about is making me %^•*]+£’ bc how!! is that real!!!#okay ALSO just throwing in brinksy like a casual AHAHA have brainworm for a year (my autocorrect tried to go bringst like angst which. lmao)#connor and dylan… all of my journeymen… we did not touch that because i WILL start yelling about sam gagner and marc staal and#the chrysalis and the caterpillar
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Don’t get high and then watch the only team you care about lose
#was this Bergerons last season? I don’t want him to leave. we were talking about missing tukka too and it was so sad and I love our goalies#so much. I’m excited for next season bc it won’t be so fresh with all the shit with my dad bc I basically ignored the team until playoffs bc#it made me so fucking sad bc he’s the one from Boston who loved hockey and we all watched it together and now he’s not a part of that#and it’s just so sad man. I do get really happy at the idea of me living on my own some day and watching bruins with friends and drinking#and smoking and laughing and cheering together and being sad and angry together it’s truly so incredible#one day I will be on my own and I will carry traditions dad made with me even if I don’t have kids I will have so many friends to watch#hockey with and they’ll have friends to watch hockey with and I will host a watch party bc I like hosting and having friends and so I’ll#host a hockey watch party in my shitty little apartment and I’ll apologize to my neighbors ahead of time bc the game is on and we might get#loud#ahhh daydreaming about a shitty apartment anywhere back up north with hearts in my eyes and love in my soul#I am high. and thinking about hockey. and life. and time passing. things change but they stay the same. huge players leave and new players#join but it’s still the same team and it’s got all this history#but just ughh idk#I’m having big feelings in my small tired heart and man’s can’t express#edibles that make me cry why are you making me cry stop it#literally 5mg goes right to my crying holes it’s ridiculous body stop making me cry
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“𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐥𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐱 𝐛𝐢𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤”
𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫! - Ghostface gangbang (with one Michael Myers mask)
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: celebrity!reader, guards! Toji, Sukuna, Choso, Satoru, Suguru and Kento, reader has healing abilities, knife kink/light cutting, no blood since reader heals, light bondage with chains, ghost face with one Michael Myers mask gangbang, you have tits for this, titty fucking, face/pussy slapping, pain kink, praise/degradation, pain kink, fingering/anal fingering, ass eating, face fucking/cock sucking, handjob, pussy slapping, toys, double/triple penetration, anal, hair pulling, spitting, spitting water in your mouth, cum swallowing, creampie, choking
𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡: 14 minutes - 4k (of mostly nasty smut)
Oreo: this has reminded me why gangbangs are my favorite
Your phone lights up with a text, your Mom sent you a link. Opening it brings you to a page with a bright bold red header where it proclaims ‘Single for 1 year?! She can’t seem to get a date and goes to dinner alone!’
You scroll to see the attached picture of you surrounded with by your guards. “Oh! There is a trashy tabloid going around talking about my dating life. Apparently I was alone last night cause all six of you don’t count!”
Toji shrugs a large shoulder, “Who cares if it looks like you’re single, they don't need to know the truth.” The end of his blunt casts a red glow on Toji’s handsome face.
You sigh and click on the appearing text bubble, “My Mom is caring otherwise she wouldn’t have sent me to link to it. Along with; I won’t judge your choices, though I am worried about you not pursuing a relationship. Are they just not for you or did something happen?” A large warm body presses you against the cold glass railing of the balcony. Warm large hands squeeze your hips.
You look up into Sukuna’s face, your head resting against his chest. “What are you gonna tell her?” Toji nudges Sukuna’s arm to get him to take the fat blunt.
Looking out at the city below. “I’m sure as hell not saying that I’m fucking all of the personal guards they hired for me and that y’all cock-block any dating opportunities that come my way.”
He grabs your hair yanking your back holding the blunt to your lips. He sneers, “We do plenty of sharing between each other. Who else could you need.” Sukuna pulls the blunt away, and you blow a large puffs of smoke into the night’s sky.
Toji adds on, “‘Side we all cuddle you, take you out on dates, we switch out who sleeps in the bed with you. You had six different valentines.” He leans against the glass railing. Tugging on your robe’s ribbon causing it to fall open.
Satoru announces, “Oo someone tweeted what if she is fucking one of the guards. She close, but it isn’t just one, you’re too much of a cock hungry whore for only one.” Leaning up against the glass on the other side of you Satoru joins Toji in fondling your soft breasts. Swirling his soft thumb over your nipple, getting it hard.
You’ve been waiting all day to be sandwiched in between your guards. With one pressing their hard cock into your lower back while two play with your tits. You slowly inhale the harsh smoke from the blunt that Sukuna holds to your lips.
Suguru looks at Satoru’s phone then lightly hits Satoru’s shoulder.“You should unlike it they’re gonna think it’s you, that choice is up to her, if she decides to make it.” Taking the short blunt from Sukuna to puff on.
Satoru rolls his eyes before removing his like, “Ok ok.” Sukuna roughly smacks your ass and steps away for Satoru to sweep you off your feet.
You think about it aloud, “If they got a screenshot of that then my actions with all you are going to be heavily analyzed.” Spreading your fingers out on his chest, looking up at him as he carries you to the sex room. “Especially with you, going out the two of us is gonna be seen differently, tea channels are gonna have a field day.”
Satoru smiles, “Don’t act like you don’t enjoy seeing some of the shipping content out there.” A few of your fans had created some fanart of your guards and you. Which you saved to your phone.
He points out, “This will only give them a little fuel for their ships.” He kisses the top of your head and you’re wondering if you should play into it a little.
You admit, “Is is a bit fun to see. And who could blame me, especially with how unprofessional three of you were from the start, my pussy didn’t stand a chance.”
You dig your painted nails into Satoru’s chest, leaving bright pink lines. “It’s mostly your fault, you were the first one.”
Satoru teases you, “The way you were practicing drooling over me after I unbuttoned my shirt a little too cool off had me wanting to put your pretty mouth to use and I’ll do it again.” You bite his chest, his hold doesn’t waver but his pace does as he moans.
Sukuna walks past and pushes the door open, “Let’s go ahead n’ tie her up with some chains.” When Satoru carries you throug.
Kento and Choso have a ghost face mask on. Are they all going to be wearing one? Your pussy hopes they do.
Satoru drops you on the bed, straightening you out on your back, folding your legs by your side. Kneeling at the edge of the bed to kiss your wet cunt. Gliding his tongue in, you slip your hands into his soft white hair.
Suguru walks up, mask on and with the Michael Myers one in hand. Which Satoru pulls away to grab when Suguru nudges him with it. “Happy early Halloween, it’s close enough right? I figured why not do something a little seasonal.” He climbs onto the bed and yanks you into the middle by your hair.
Kento gets on the bed next to you, his hard cock swinging, you love how he’s so heavy he hangs. His voice is soothing, “What do you think about this?”
You gently grab Kento’s thick cock swirling your thumb on his cockhead. “I wanna be gangfucked till the sun rises or I pass out.” You kiss the freckle close to his pre-cum dripping slit you adore.
Satoru praises, “‘Course you do beautiful, we are gonna fuck your pretty ass stupid.” Satoru straddles your neck and part of your face. When you look down all you see are his balls.
He squeezes your fat, soft tits together with his cock in between. “Pour some lube on her tits for me Choso.” His balls are so close to your face. Lifting your head up to lick and suck on Satoru’s nuts.
Choso joins you on the bed whilst reminding you. “You’re safe word is melons remember to say yellow if you need us to slow down, and red for a break.” He grabs your hand, pouring lube into your palm. Then guiding your hand to his cock for you to stroke.
You hold your other hand out for some lube to jerk Kento off. Choso then squirts a generous amount onto your breasts. It slowly drips until Satoru smears it with slow strokes of his cock.
Satoru groans, “I want to cover her in cum, her beautiful face, soft tits, squishy thighs and her gorgeous cunt.” Slowly fucking your beautiful soft breasts. Whilst enjoying your warm mouth on his soft balls.
Jerking Choso and Kento off, swirling your hand slowly along their cocks. Swiping your thumb over their heads and keeping your pace steady.
Sukuna groans, “I’m fuckin her beautiful, sofa ass into a gapping mess. Seeing her in that skin tight gown all night, I know y’all know what I’m talking about.” Two different hands spread your legs apart, one rougher than the other. “Makin’ her ass look like a delicious peach.”
Arching your hips down from the sudden intense vibrations from toy on your clit. Laying your head back on the bed with a loud moan. Another hand presses on your stomach keeping you still.
Your thighs tremble, and your cunt quivers when you feel a wet tongue swirl around your tight asshole. “Nnnn! Plug your cum inside my ass when you’re done.” Moaning as he quickly pushing his tongue in to you. Both of your holes clench as you feel two small, smooth warm metal balls of Sukuna’s tongue piercing.
Satoru ruts his hips faster, gliding his long cock between your soft fat breasts. Squishing them together with his large hands, his groans are loud and breathy.
You love hearing all of them groan, moan, and whines as they enjoy themselves. If they weren't there you could masturbate listening recording to the sounds they make when they cum.
Whining, “It’s too much!” The pressure is intense, you’re unable to pull your hips away they follow your clit with the toy.
You can hear the jiggle of chains as the bed dips with someone’s weight.
“But I just started, how could it be too much already?” The condescension dripping from Suguru’s tone has your cheeks burning. “Besides isn't this what you wanted?” Suguru slowly swirls the toy increasing the pressure till it borders on painful.
Toji says, “Go ahead n’ tie the chains around her tits and neck.” Satoru smothers you with his balls by sitting on your face. Wrapping your breasts by coiling the chains around them once. Then moving back wrap it around your throat. He tugs on both ends squeezing your neck and tits.
Kento grabs your wrists, using your hand to get themselves off. Kento’s guides your hand slower, as he massages your breasts. His gentle touch is always a wonderful contrast to how rough the other’s get.
“I can't believe I'm getting off on this, I've become a dirty old pervert for your beautiful tits and soft pussy.” It made Kento’s cock rock hard seeing the chain wrapping around your tits, squishing the plump fat, whilst restricting some blood flow. You had corrupted him.
Choso groans, “Your hand feels so soft on my cock.” Grabbing your fist to keep it still so he can fuck your hand. Gently rubbing your hard nipple with his thumb,
Satoru pulls the chains again strangling your cry and pulling your body taunt. Your hands pause as you try to focus on not squeezing Choso and Kento.
“Don’t yank on her too hard, the chains are already harsh.” Kento drags a finger along the chain wrapped around your breast, feeling the soft fat spilling over.
Satoru eases up, but keeps the chain tight around your throat. Smacking his long, pale cock on your face whilst you suffocate. Rubbing his cock head along your lips, his pre-cum tastes so sweet. Opening your mouth, Satoru glides his cock in quickly.
Choso grabs the chain from Satoru’s hand, “Deep breaths.” He waits for you to catch your breath. Peeling up his mask to softly kiss you, sliding his tongue past your lips when you moan.
Satoru groans stroking his cock next next to your face. “The camera is recording what a whore you are. We are going to show you tomorrow, have you ride a dildo, and play with your asshole while you watch it. How does that sound?”
Choso lifts his head, holding his cock near your face. “Can you deep throat my fat cock with your pretty mouth?” You kiss his cockhead before softly licking up the mess up pre-cum. Then taking him deep into your mouth with a loud groan. Fondling his large balls with one hand.
Satoru jerk his fist faster watching you suck Choso off. “You’re such a good lil’ cock sucker. Are you getting off having Choso’s fat cock in your mouth while Sukuna eats your ass.” You groan to respond, closing your watery eyes.
You switch in between licking and sucking on one cock to pay attention to the other. Resting your tired hand on the bed, before giving up on moving your head too. As Choso and Satoru turn your head from side to side, taking turns fucking your mouth.
Kento slides your hand off his cock to rub himself against your plump, soft breast. “I’ll give you a massage after being a good girl for us tonight.” Nudging your fat with his fat cock head, smearing pre-cum on you.
Kento guides your hand back to his cock. “Before we take the chains off I want to take a picture of you laying here looking sexy covered and dripping cum. I can’t get enough of seeing you looking fucked out.” It’s one of the main reasons he got hooked on joining in on the planned gangbangs Satoru would get the other’s in on.
Two thick fingers into your dripping wet cunt with a soft squelch. “Look at this, she’s already soaking wet, you’re a depraved whore say it.” Toji’s deep voice is unmistakable. Your soaking wet pussy quivering around his thick fingers as the pressure and pleasure build in tandem.
Satoru nudges your cheek, smearing some pre-cum on it. Choso glides his cock out with a loud pop. “I’m a depraved whore, I love being a dirty slut please use me to help you cum.” Turning your head taking Satoru’s cock. He smacks your lips then sets a quick and merciless pace, gagging you with his long, veiny dick.
Suguru rubs your clit a little faster, easing up on the intense pressure. Working with Toji to get you off while Sukuna enjoys himself with your ass. Holding out three fingers prompting Choso to grab the near by bottle of lube to pour some onto them.
Your ass stretches for three thick probing fingers that can reach deeper than his tongue can. Scissoring his fingers apart rough, pumping them quickly, making your body slightly bounce.
You’re getting off on how six muscular masked men are entertaining themselves with your ass, cunt, clit, tits, hands and mouth. You’re hoping they trap a mixture of their cum inside you with a plug.
Toji points out, “I think she’s gonna cum n’ so fucking quickly. I don't think she should cum yet. No reason why other than fuck her.” Suguru lifts the vibrator off your clit as Toji glides his fingers out.
Sukuna keeps playing with your ass, it’s enough that you can taste that sweet peaking orasgamic high of cumming.
Sukuna mocks you, “You’re a dirty slut, look at that! The bitch kind of came anyway.” some creamy cum drip from your small quivering hole he sneers, “Looks like you only ruined it for her.” He pinches your sensitive clit making your hips jerk back. Stuffing some of your slick into your ass with each pump of is thick fingers.
Toji states, “She deserve it for being a filthy whore.” Someone smacks your cunt, once, twice, you stop counting after the fourth. Trembling you have to fight the urge to twist your hips away as your cunt stings.
Choso croons, “Are they being mean to your pretty cunt?” He leans down “She was good and took all those hits we should let her cum.” Satoru pulls his Michael Myers mask up to spit on your face.
Suguru holds the pulsing toy to your stinging, throbbing clit. The sweet pleasure easing some of the stinging pain. You focus on each quick circling motion of the toy eager to cum.
You’re begging them, “I wanna cum! Please lemme cum! I wanna make a mess!” Whining as the three thick fingers in your ass glide out.
A pulsing thin toy nudges your wet hole, which easily gives for the toy. It’s size getting thicker the more you take. Till you reach a thick knot that won’t slide in easily. Causing him to have to use a little more force.
Arching your hips, your eyes sting with tears as your ass throbs from taking the thick knot. “I hope that fuckin’ hurt dumb lil slut, I wanna see and hear you crying! Your ass looks so hot taking all of it. I wonder,” he tugs on the toy’s short stumpy handle. The knot isn’t budging, tugging on your ass, too thick to slip out like his fingers did.
Your thighs are burning as they tremble. A large hand on your stomach keeps you from moving too much. They are all working in together to keep you from getting away.” Choso straddles your neck fills your mouth with his cock. Abandoning the chain leash as he grabs your hair and fucks your throat.
You can’t tell who wraps your hand around their thick cock but you don’t care. You too drunk off the overstimulation to focus on moving your hand. So they jerk them off, swirling your fist, swiping your thumb over their cock head. They’re so warm and heavy in your palm, you want them inside any of your wet holes.
Your moans creating pleasurable vibrations that make him messily rut his hips. “Nnnn when she moans goddamm, I wanna cum in her mouth.” He fucks your moan faster, gagging you when he gives you all of his cock. Choso is so much thicker than Satoru, making it harder to deep throat him.
Satoru suggests, “Let’s play a game she has to guess whose fucking her from the back. Then she can cum.” Choso glides his cock out, Kento let’s your hand go, Suguru lifts the toy off your clit causing you to whine.
Choso carefully gets you on all fours, then orders you, “Keep your eyes forward you can suck Kento and I’s cocks but don't cheat by peaking.” He moves over for Kento to kneel beside him. Just having their large cocks in your face shouldn’t turn you on so much but it does. You feel like such a dirty, cock hungry slut.
Holding both cocks, moaning as you give Kento attention. Closing your eyes and enjoying feeling his thick cock slide along your tongue. His head nudging your throat, going deeper till you’ve taken every inch.
You hold your head still letting Kento enjoy the wet, tight warmth of your throat. As it squeezes him, your body softly jerking as you gag.
Kento moans, “Nnnn fuck me that feels so gooood when you take me just like that. You’re so beautiful, nnn,” bobbing your head, quickly taking Kento’s fat cock. “wrapping you pretty lips, hhhhn sucking me off like you need my cum.” Gliding him out with a loud pop and kissing beneath Kento’s cockhead.
A cockhead too fat to be Satoru’s lines up with your cunt. Your thoughts linger in between Toji and Suguru when you don’t feel Sukuna’s piercing beneath the large cock head.
Kento slowly rocks his hips, slowly fucking your wet mouth. Causing spit to drip down your chin which smears onto his balls when they brush against.
A cold knife drags along your cheek, causing you to tense up then squirm. The cut heals seconds after he creates it. One, two three and fuck! You’re so full of someone’s thick, veiny cock.
You’re sandwich in between Kento, Choso and one of your guards. The thought of that is getting you. toy for them to fuck until their balls are empty.
Clenching the fat cock whilst listening for a single groan or any vocal indication of who is fucking you. As they slide the knife across the bottom of your back.
If they would groan once you would know if it’s Toji or Suguru. You focus on the way their fucking you to try and decide between the two. It’s hard to focus for too long, whoever it is hitting your soaking wet pussy in a perfect, eye rolling, toe curling and pussy clenching angle.
He grabs the short handle of the toy vibrating in your ass. The thick knot slides in and out of you a little easier after your asshole got used to it.
Slowly glide the blade along your thigh and stuffing the toy in deep, the vibrations pulsing stronger than before. He made it intense, you swear you can feel it in your cunt.
Smacking your cheek with a large hand, the strike is to quick for you to get a good judge off whose hand it is.
Kento’s pace is getting sloppy, as he ruts into your mouth a little faster. His broad shoulder curling in as he trembles. His tight tensing up as he bites his bottom lip. Thick warm cum spurts into your mouth, he tastes so sweet, it’s so thick and creamy on your tongue.
Stuffing his cum into your throat with a messy thrust then gliding his cock out. “Thank you darling, l needed that.” Choso moves over as Kento leans down, grabbing your throat. His thick fingers pressing the chains into your neck as he lifts you up to kiss your forehead.
You can’t glance behind you in time before Choso stops you from breaking the rule. As Kento gets off the bed slowly pulling off the mask, and taking a seat to watch.
You whine, “Not fair, moan once! Say anything!” You bounce back, pressing your ass and thighs flush against him. The thighs pressing against your’s are thick, with muscles too hard to be Suguru. He is incredibly well built, but Toji’s muscles are something else.
The muscles of his arms, thighs and abs had a harsh rigidness the other didn’t. His body feels like a greek statue that’s has life breathed into it. With a waist that feels too damn slutty.
You whine, “Toji!” He grabs a handful of your ass and the roughness of his hand lets you know you’re right. Your body roughly rocks forward with his next harsh thrusts.
Toji groans, his deep voice sounds so damn good when he’s getting off. It’s a smooth, deep sound that is the cherry on top.
You’re squirting on Toji’s far veiny cock. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! The toy vibrating in her ass fuck I can feel it. Fuck it’s like her pussy is a vibrating toy clenching me. So fuckin’ wet!” He pumps the in your ass in time with thrusts, his strength keeps the toy’s knot from catching.
His fat cock twitches slightly, and the pulse in his veins feels like he’s throbbing inside you. “Nnnn I want someone to fuck his cum into me. Please lemme cum on your thick cock too.”
Sukuna declares in confusion, “Was that cheating?!”
Satoru defense your case, “We only said she couldn’t look back, using her body to feel up Toji isn’t against the rules. Meaning our chain bound slut gets to cum on our cocks tonight.”
“You’re going to bully her anyway.” You glance over at Suguru, a blunt between his lips, and his dark hair pulled back. With a few locks of his bangs framing his handsome face.
He winks, snuffs out the blunt and pulls his mask on. “Let’s switch.” Toji slowly glides his cock out smacking your cum dripping cunt with the flat of the knife.
Toji groans, “Her slutty lil’ cunt looks so good dripping my cum.” He dips his head down and glides his tongue in. “What a messy pussy squirting on me like that.” He stretches your hole apart to see how his white cum looks against the pink insides of your pussy. Before walking off, the blunt that Suguru ashed out on his mind. Passing the knife to Sukuna.
Choso grabs the chain leash and says, “Wrists behind your back.” He carefully binds your wrists, making your bsck softly arch, pushing your bound breasts forward.
Sukuna roughly yanks the toy out of your ass. Replacing it with a different one, the wildly vibrating model made after his cock. He orders, “Sit up, let Choso get underneath you so he can use your pretty cunt to get himself off whilst I double stuff your ass.”
Sukuna smacks your ass, grabbing the long chain between your neck and shoulders. Yanking you upright before you can move for yourself.
Choso leans back on his heals, thighs spread apart letting his heavy cock hang in between. “I want her to myself when y'all are done.” He gets off the bed and takes the blunt Toji passes.
You ask Choso, “What are you planning for me handsome?”Watching him jerk his cock slowly. His cock with it’s far head, upward curve and two puffy veins is pussy watering. Especially when he slides his hand down and his heavy, long cock start to droop. He’s perfect cock is so heavy, long, and thick.
You’re folding at the sight Choso with his ghost face mask on, his broad muscular chest, hard abs, and thick, pale tattooed arm. Choso looks good manspreading, his thighs are perfect to ride.
Sukuna stuffed ass with his fat cock makes it nearly impossible to listen to Choso explain, “You want some ghostface roleplay, how can I tell your pretty self no? I'm going to chase you around then pin you down and fuck you at knife point for a happy early Halloween.”
You look up at Sukuna’s masked face when he loudly moans, “You’re right, fuck n’ I thought she was like a toy before hand. But this, her vibrating double stuffed ass clenching my cock is gonna make me cum too quickly.”
Suguru climbs into the bed laying down and holding his cock up. “Let me feel our slutty mama’s pretty whore pussy on my fat cock. Sukuna holds a knife to your throa, taking the moment to himself to roughly fuck your ass.
Suguru strokes his cock, watching as the tears slip down your cheeks. Your pussy is dripping Toji’s cum as Sukuna pounds your ass. “She looks so hot when she’s helpless.”
Sukuna grunts, “It’s not enough, I wanna break her, fuck her ass till she can't move..” Sukuna digs the knife’s tip into your throat, blood slowly trickles down before he eases up.
Satoru chimes, “Tell me whose cum taste better, Kento’s or mine!” Whilst joining Sukuna, Suguru and you on the bed.
Kento passes Satoru a water bottle, his cock already half hard. “Since you like spitting so much you can spit some water into her mouth first.“
Sukuna encourages, “Fuckin cry you stupid sexy lil brat!” He slides the knife across your throat, over your shoulder and down your side. He drags the knife in a swirl over your cheek, your healing keeping up with as fast as he can cut. The stinging like the cut is fleeting, reigniting when he smacks your cheek with the large knife.
Sukuna drops the knife to folds your legs by your sides. Stopping with his cock balls deep and the toy still vibrating inside you. He makes you take Suguru’s thick cock in your sore sensitive cunt quickly.
The combination of their cocks and the toy stretching the skin between both holes taunt. They aren't moving and you’re already on the verge of overtimulation. Suguru slides his soft hand up your stomach towards your breasts.
You look down at Suguru, you can't get over how hot they look in their mask. “I want all six of you to stage a break in and then use me wearing these mask for the festive Halloween season is over.”
Suguru croons, “You’re such a dirty slut for us. You want it even rougher and nastier don't you?” You’re squirming on Sukuna’s and Suguru’s fat cocks. Rubbing Sukuna’s cock piercing inside your ass.
Suguru strokes your clit with his thumb. You’re still so sensitive from squirting on Toji’s cock. Both holes quiver clenching Suguru and Sukuna large cocks.
Sukuna lets both of your legs go, grabbing the near by knife. Gliding it along the harsh chains leaving imprints on your soft breast. Dragging it up the supple curve, Sukuna presses the tip into your sensitive nipple making you squirm.
Satoru drinks some water, squishes both cheeks with one large hand then spits water into your open mouth. The second you swallow it and open your mouth for more Sukuna yanks your head back.
“Hurry and pour it in her mouth.” His rough thrusts are slowly picking up pace. He can't wait any longer, your soft wet ass is clenching his cock begging him to fuck you.
Sukuna’s cock is wonderfully punishing. Stretching and slamming into you with toe curling, body quivering strength. You love how Sukuna fucks you like a toy.
Satoru pours water into your mouth, some of it trickles down your chin and neck as you do your best chug. Whilst Sukuna drags the sharp blade along your soft nipple. You choke and before you can regain your breath Sukuna is shoving over Suguru and Satoru is stuffing his cock in your open mouth.
Spit drips down your chin as he roughly fucks your throat. Gagging you and crooning “Aw she’s crying how fuckin’ hot, look up at me.” You do your best to look up at Satoru’s white mask, his bright blue eyes not covered by black fabric.
You get glimpses of a feral, hungry and playful looking in his piercing blue eyes. You would beg for him to keep fucking you till his balls can't make anymore cum if it wasn't for his cock in your mouth.
It feels so good to have three handsome masked men roughly fucking you. You’re their cum and cock hungry slut. It’s the only thought going through you head.
The wooden frame of the bed groan in protest as they roughly fuck their hard, throbbing cocks into you. Suguru’s fondles your sore breasts, squeezing your side gently. Whilst mercilessly fucking up your sensitive squelching pussy.
You’re quickly losing the ability to think. Why should you anyway when all you need to be is their cock drunk whore.
Suguru brings up, “Let’s place bets on long she can last before the six of us are too much for her. After Choso we can pass her down the line until her slutty ass n’ cunt can’t handle anymore cock n’ cum.”
Oreo’s m.list
#jjk smut#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo x reader#gojo smut#sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#nanami x reader#nanami smut#geto x reader#geto smut#toji x reader#toji smut#choso x reader#choso smut#gojo satoru#toji fushiguro#sukuna ryomen#nanami kento#geto suguru#choso kamo
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#i hate that he thinks he can just carry on and keep releasing music like nothing happened please please can’t he stay AWAY#and i hate that since my computer locked me out i have nowhere to illegal download it to listen to without giving him a cent#and i hate that THAT’S as much of a concern to me as it is; that i still want to listen to it so BADLY and can’t#and i hate that nocreature can talk about any feelings related to him with any nuance beyond either ‘’he should die’’ or disgusting wss cra#i understand i fully understand why we have to just ignore him as much as possible save for making it clear we know he’s terrible#and i’m glad people have been able to do that about this so well#but gosh dang does it get to feel isolating#like absolutely everycreature who’s a remotely decent person and understands the gravity and the grossness of what we’ve found out about hi#is able to just completely turn off and/or excise any positive feelings had about him or any missing him or still caring at all#heck a lot of people who’ve turned their backs entirely were in deeper than i’ve ever been for longer than i’ve ever been#so why am I like this#i hate this and i hope nocreature clicks the song or pays any attention#and i hope he’s otherwise forced to stay away again until he can actually get his head on straight be that a year from now or never at all#and can somecreature please get me a download or like an mp3 uploaded to tumblr or something#and can that please not be bad for me to ask
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OF COURSE IT'S A ASPIE!
always the aspies smh.
(no offence to the good aspies)
when will they SHUT the fuck up, blah blah blah "I don't need door delivery services bc I'm ablebodied" shut the fuck up you do not represent the entire autism spectrum so shut the hell up.
by hell do I need it, by hell do alot of us need it.
it's called autism spectrum disorder for a REASON, even though you reject that label.
I can't drive! I actually have adhd and autism in the mixture that makes it extremely hard for me to organise anything because if something slightly doesn't go to plan I meltdown and can't do anything that whole day and everything is wasted.
and I also forget the whole plan and then end up starving bc I forgot to get groceries because it was that overwhelming so I end up fucking starving!!!!
like, I'm happy your either medicated or something.
but that's not all of us that will never be all of us.
it's really fucking mean to assume those things about people.
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the doordash "discourse" on X is so very telling about what able-bodied or even some disabled leftists think of those with less ability than them.
i think we should start killing y'all with hammers.
#lmao this person (in the screenshot) should be forced to drive me to all my appointments then if they’re so good at everything#I take the bus everywhere even tho I could legally drive because my meds make me a fucking zombie and I have paralysis#not only is the bus my only choice it’s the responsible thing to do#same with ordering groceries. I can’t carry all my groceries on the BUS#I can’t even carry a single bag half the time#I hate people like this just say you hate disabled ppl and shut da hell up#<PREV TAGS#beloved peeper I was in leftist spaces when I was younger super into online leftist spaces since I had no autonomy to go places still don't#and my god. I as someone who briefly talked about how my severe asthma and like other autism/mental illness symptoms it-#made them BALLISTIC! years of dealing with random able bodied people telling me I was not disabled. I wasn't “bad enough” to be disabled-#and saying I was contributing to autism hatred bc I had not savoury autism symptoms and actually I take no shit anymore bc of it??#like. to this day I don't know why I. stayed so long. cripplepunk/madpunk you guys have literally changed my life.#fucking ableists. telling ME who's been hospitalised MULTIPLE TIMES who has AN ACTUAL FUCKING DISABLITY that I'm a faker and taking away-#resources from disabled people. I AM DISABLED PEOPLE fucking Idiots!!! I shouldn't have to explain that I can up and die bc my lungs are-#built wrong. but hey all the things ppl know about asthma is that it's the nerd disorder they probably think it's not even real.#people are awful. cripplepunk has been infinitely more accepting and not told me I'm a waste of space faker who should go die <3#like thanks cripplepunk for being the only kind people. love you all so fucking much you have changed my life and I'll never forget that#-pop#activism stuff#disablity#actually disabled
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I have been…..so tired
#very sick and unwell the past couple of days and I feel physically exhausted#I have so many things that I need to catch up on#if you’re someone who’s sent me messages and I’ve taken ages and months to respond#I am so so sorry it isn’t that I’m ignoring anyone I’ve just felt like I haven’t had the energy to carry a conversation#that doesn’t excuse just sending a message to let people know the situation#I just come online to reblog pretty pictures that make me happy and spill my thoughts and feelings and then leave again#and then that’s all the energy I have day to day#I’m so so sorry I will get around to responding and getting better with talking#thank you so much to anyone who’s consistently tried to check or talk to me. you mean a lot to me and I can’t express enough how much that#means to me#I will get back to it it’s just taking a long long time
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