#who all want him dead btw
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The Dragon-Touched King
Heat
Everything around him was on fire
The flame burned hotter than anything he'd ever felt, but they only threw off the faintest hint of light
Zuko reached out, groping blindly through the darkness. The intense heat was the only thing guiding him. The invisible flames drew closer or farther to show him where he needed to go. Suddenly the ground opened beneath him and he was tumbling down into the vast emptiness.
He landed with a thud on something much softer than the stone far he was expecting. The mound rose and fell rhythmically for a moment. Then it began to rumble and shake. Suddenly, sconces lining the walls flared to life. The light was blinding after so long in darkness, but it only took Zuko's eyes a moment to adjust.
Ran stared down at him, blue scales gleaming in the light. In spite of himself, Zuko trembled. He knew better than to think the dragon would harm him, but the sight of a full grown dragon was always awe inspiring.
How did he get here? Zuko wondered this for the first time since he'd found himself in the cavern with the nearly invisible flames. He had no memory of coming to the Sun Warrior's island, or to Ran and Shaw's cave. It occurred to him that he must be dreaming, but it was too real. He'd felt the scorching heat, Ran's scales shifting beneath his hands, the dragon's hot, moist breath rolling over him, causing his clothes to cling to him damply. If this was a dream, it was his most vivid yet.
Young Fire Lord. Ran's voice rolled through his body, felt rather than heard. Zuko scrambled to his feet and bowed respectfully. He cast around a quick glance for Shaw, but he couldn't see any sign of the tell-tale red.
You have been given a gift.
"Yes," Zuko acknowledged, thinking of the newly hatched dragon that had made itself a comfortable nest in Zuko's bed. "Druk has been a pleasure."
Young dragon is doing well. We see and we are pleased. Ran assured Zuko. But Druk is not the gift I speak of. Zuko's brow furrowed in confusion.
"I'm afraid I don't understand," he said. Ran let out a low rumble that shook the stone walls. It took Zuko a moment to realize he was laughing.
You will understand, Ran promised. Call up your flame. Zuko hesitated. If he was dreaming, and he wasn't entire sure one way or another, he could very well wake up to his bed sheets burning. But Ran fixed him with that unnerving sharp eye, and Zuko felt compelled. He held out his palm and willed a flame to spark. The familiar flame danced to life and flickered for a moment. Then the color changed. The flame got hotter and turned a deep blue. Zuko gasped, but before he could say anything, the color changed several more times. The blue flickered to red, then green, then purple, then it seemed to disappear from view, but Zuko could just make out a distortion where the flame still burned. The heat was as intense as the invisible flames that guided him to the dragon.
What does this mean?" Zuko asked almost to him self.
It is Dragon fire, Ran told him. Dragon-touched Fire Lord. You will lead your people back to true knowledge. You will show them the true mastery of flame. You will return them to true fire bending. Keeper of the dragon fire.
Zuko almost groaned. He understood what Ran was asking of him. It was daunting. He already was leading his people out of war and working to undo a century of dangerous nationalist propaganda. Now he was also being tasked with undoing the same decades' worth of improper fire bending techniques. Terrific.
Show them the true way of dragon fire.
@metaorigin
#atla#zuko unlocks a new ability#zuko#where is shaw?#no clue#but probably working on something else in the background#zuko has to reintroduce the true principles of firebending to the fn#should be easy enough#unfortunately he finds out about a secret underground society run by the most powerful sages and some really cranky nobles#who all want him dead btw#action!#adventure!#romance!#this fic will probably never be written!#fanfic#THE YEAR OF CONTENT!!!!
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The Foster Mother
Now on ao3 and VHS release
There was, supposedly, someone waiting for him in the green sitting room.
ââŚWhy?â Tim asked. Most of the usual suspects had already come by to give their âcondolencesââformer Drakes Industries investors, curious about the newly orphaned heir; fellow socialites, once again flocking in to give and receive sympathies for their âclose friends, the Drakesâ; gawkers come to see what they could scavenge off of a dead familyâs home, never mind that their child was alive.
âShe claims to know you, Master Tim,â Alfred offered, kettle in his hand. He spent a moment deciding between different two canisters of tea; a sign of possibly difficult future conversation. âHer interest in your father's estate seemed quiteâŚminimal.â
âŚAlright.
Tim was still in his formalwear. Dissolving Drake Industries would take at least another year, and plenty of future hours cementing the future home of certain resources in their dissolution, but the outfit probably was more appropriate for whatever oncoming conversation that was about to ensue than his planned change into Dickâs old hoodie and board shorts.
Okay. Tim steeled himself. The self-determinationâŚmostly worked. Whatever. He trudged up into the green sitting room from the kitchen with his usual introduction ready on his tongue.
And then Tim walked into the room.
And then Jazzy was there.
*
Tim had been three, and Miss Jasmine had been his had been his third nanny. Heâd outgrown the wetnurse early on, and his second nanny had been dismissed, so although Miss Jasmine was the third nanny, she was first nanny Tim could consciously remember.
Sheâd had red hair. Sheâd been very gentle with him.
She got him up in the morning and put him to bed at night; for the first time, there had been someone who sat with him until he was asleep, reading all sorts of books his parents had left to engage him with as an early genius. Then, when those were over and done as promised to his parents, they got unauthorized books from the library: silly books with made-up words, dinosaur books, books about teddy bears and adventures around the world.
Tim hadnât been allowed to travel the world. Tim hadnât been allowed a teddy bear. His parents had thought it would encourage undue attachment.
(It had been the same reason heâd never been given a pacifier.)
Miss Jazz had given him a knitted bunny. Sheâd said her dad had made it especially for him.
The toyâs name was Bunny and Tim remembered him being very soft.
She didnât smile all the time, but smiles were rewards that were easy to earn. He finished his meal and she smiled. He finished an educational puzzle and she smiled. He was quiet all through her phone call and she smiled, and answered all his questions once she was done.
Jazzy had been the first person in his life who was there all the time. Sheâd kissed his forehead after the bath and kissed his scraped knees; sheâd carried him in his arms when he was tired and sometimes even when he wasnât. His parents had wanted him to be independent, proactive, and not clingy, but Jazzy had been someone who he could run to from his bed when heâd had nightmares and someone he could cuddle on her lap with when heâd cried.
She was gone when he was seven. He didnât remember why. His parents had probably never told him, but still; he'd assumed he'd have found out why eventually.
Jazzy looked the same right now as she looked in Timâs memories, although she was likely no longer a college student at a nannying gig. Her red hair was pulled into a high bun, her dress modest and conservative from her neck to her ankles. There was a backpack beside her foot. She was sitting, one leg crossed over the other, on the high-backed loveseat in the green sitting room.
She looked up when he came in.
Tim. Stopped in his tracks.
It didnât matter. JazzyâMiss Jasmine stood up as soon as she saw him, eyes alight with worry. Foggy memories were swimming to the forefront of Timâs brain. He couldnât move.
âTim?â JaâMiss Jasmine asked, teal eyes raking over his frame. Tim froze where he was. He didnât move, wide-eyed and terrified for no reason at all when Miss Jasmine got closer to him, at a distance that was more appropriate for a conversation.
She stood there. Watching him. It felt like his mother had just come home from her trips with Dad, and a ghost of old terror wafted through him as he waited for her to decide heâd done something wrong. Her voice got softer. Her eyes got softer. Why was Tim feeling so wrong-footed?? It was only a former staff person!
âTim?â her voice was so gentle. âI donât know if you remember me. Iâmââ
âMâs Jazz,â Tim croaked. Which. Wasnât the level of formality heâd been going for, but better than Jazzy. He wasnât a toddler anymore.
Miss Jasmine was so tallâhonestly, was she taller than Bruce? Sheâd seemed insurmountable as a child; he hadnât expected her height to truly be so statuesque as an adult.
(Or. Well. Almost an adult.)
She didnât quite kneel down, but she did stoop lower, as if Tim was small and he needed to be on equal footing in order to have a serious conversation.
He could see all her freckles. Tim swallowed. It was too familiar. Everything about her was too familiar.
âYouâre so big now,â Jazzy whispered, looking at his hair, his suit, his polished shoes. He didnât feel it. âOh, youâve grown up so well.â
Thanks, Tim almost said. Something stopped himâsomething thick in his throat, to impassable to break through.
âIââ he tried. He coughed. âWhyâŚyou⌠Youâre here?â
Jazzy threw him an incredulous look, and then an incredibly wry one. âWell,â she drawled a little too primly, in the way that Alfred occasionally made obvious statements, âIâd think it obvious that when oneâs parents have passed away, that those who care about you might come to check and see if youâre alright.â
Which. That didnât make sense. Jazzy hadnât come back for any other reason; she hadnât come back for his motherâs funeral, nor when his father was injured publicly by a villain. Why start now?
âAnd,â Jazz added, seeing his visual confusion and distrust, âYour parents canât exactly threaten me with a kidnapping charge for visiting you when theyâre dead.â Pause. âWhich I am sorry about. My condolences.â
Which. Whiplash. What a statement.
âUh,â said Tim, who was rapidly losing control over the situation.
Jazzy stood again, and went back to her seat; she didnât set herself down, though, as she only stooped to grab her backpack. âI am sorry for being unable to visit, although I really wanted to; you were at a very vulnerable age and had already moved into a class a year above you, and your parents should have been less hasty about replacing your main caretaker. The assassination attempts were unwarranted, but they did drive the point home that attempting contact was perhaps discouraged.â
âWhat,â said Tim. âAssassin what.â
âThey were ninjas,â Jazzy offered, as if that was an answer. âExcept the last one, which was a former marine. The point is that I do care about you, and wanted to ask if you had any idea where youâre going now that your parents are no longerâŚavailable guardians.â
Timâs mouth opened. It closed.
Jazzy waited patiently.
ââŚHow have you been?â Tim tried, resorting to a part of the script they hadnât gone through yet.
Jazzyâs laugh was tired, but no less real. It was nothing like listening to his parents titter politely; he didnât think Jazzy would even know how to fake a laugh. âWell, my brother told me that my former bosses had died, which was somewhat stressful. Otherwise, Iâm pretty happy: I live with my brother and worked with him for the last few years. I was going to pursue medicine, butâŚwell. The assassination attempts made it hard to interview for scholarships. I suppose that I could return to that now,â Jazzy mused, attention now elsewhere. She pulled the backpack off the floor and up into her grip. She opened it, and flipped through its contents. âHow are you doing? I know that Wayne Manor fosters, but your parents were always ratherâŚhands off. I thought the difference in levels of attention might be overwhelming.â
It was. Tim should be surprised how clearly she sees through himâ
âBut Jazzy used to watch him stim for almost a full hour after school, twisting Bunnyâs arms back and forth until he could calm down. Seeing other people all day had been too much for him. Coming home from his parentsâ parties had been similarly stressful.
Sheâd never been mad at him for it. She held him while he talked and stimmed and talked and talked and talked, and brushed his hair sometimes, or if it was very late and he was very young, helped him brush his teeth through all the medieval execution facts he could name.
âIt is a lot to get used to,â Tim agreed quietly. He didnât want to be ungrateful. He didnât want to let on anyone about his plan to leave.
He had an out. The papers had already been filed; there was an actor waiting to play his uncle for a custody battle, ready for the fight.
Tim was ready to up and go. It was no hardship to leave all the good things here; anything beat making Bruce stick his fingers into Tim any deeper than they already were, compromising the dynamic theyâd already established.
It was for the best.
âI can imagine,â Jazzy sympathized easily. âAnd I wanted to offerâwell. I know thereâs probably a lot of choices available to you, but my brother and I recently moved back to Gotham proper for the time being. Heâs teaching astronomy courses at the university and Iâm filing paperwork for Arkham patients. Itâs not so privileged a home, but itâs quieter, and more central in town.â
âŚTimâs heart skipped.
He. He couldnât stop staring. Jazzy stared back at him, quiet and sure. Sure of what, Tim had no idea, butâŚ
Why? Why would she want Tim? There was no way she would be able to get to his trust fund without his help, and he for sure knew better than to enable her ability to leech from him. The last time sheâd known him, Tim had been a snot-nosed kid who cried all the time and couldnât be normal for twenty consecutive minutes. His parents couldnât even stand to be on the same hemisphere as him as a child. What appeal did this have for her?? What could having a teenager with severe baggage living in her house do for her?
And itâs not like there was any chance she knew he was Robin!
âOh,â Jazzy suddenly interrupted. âI brought these for you, by the way. Your parents had tossed them out at various points; Iâve washed them since, of course.â
She handed him the backpack by the handle.
âŚTim peeked inside.
On top was Bunny, still a washed-out faded sort of pink. He looked as fresh as he had the day when Timâs parents had âcleaned outâ Timâs nurseryâin other words, a faded, a little gray, and slightly discolored from an old spaghetti stain. His button eyes were big and blue.
And beneath him were books that hadnât passed his fatherâs muster as appropriately masculine reading material: The Velveteen Rabbit, with the cover a little scarred from a fierce attack of wet wipes. Thereâs A Monster at the End of This Book, with a goofy-looking Muppet on the cover, gold spine beat up beyond belief. Art Timâs teacher at the time must have laminated and sent home; Timâs dorky, crayon cat proved he would never make it as an artist, but attached to it was a photograph of a grinning boy with a bowl cut and a missing tooth.
Tim stared. Thereâd been purple marker on his hands and face. His grin lookedâŚreally bad, actually, like as if he was baring his teeth because he didnât know how to smile. There was no formal grace there. Nothing to show the neighbors, nothing worth framing to put into the line of sight of the investors in the office.
Jazzy had kept it and brought it home with her. Jazzy had fished it out of the trash, and brought it with her to give back to him in Gotham.
It was crinkled like itâd been folded, over and over again. Further down in the bag was a crumpled certificate dedicated to âTimmy Drake, for: knowing a lot about octopiâ, and a baby blanket Tim didnât even remember. It had rocket ships on it. It looked as if someone had cut into it with scissors, although it had been obviously and brightly mended with red embroidery floss later on.
Jazzy had only been his nanny until Tim was seven. She had simply been gone one night, and Mom and Dad had been home for ten nights after without help before giving in and hiring Mrs. McIlvane and Mrs. Edith. Ms. Edith had never been soâŚpermissiveâŚwith Tim as Jazzy had been.
Tim swallowed. He carefully put everything back into the backpack, unsure if he even wanted to keep it or not. It wasnât like he could leave it here; heâd be gone, ideally, before the week was out. There was no point in taking it with him if he only planned to live with a stranger until he was eighteen.
âJâŚâ Tim tried. He cut himself off before he could get too informal without prompting. âMiss Jasmineââ
âJust Jazz,â Jazzy corrected politely.
ââWhy are you here?â Tim asked, ignoring how sheâd technically already answered. He didnât believe her. âWhat made my parents fire you?â
Jazzyâs expression turnedâŚsoft. Tim couldnât look at her. Something horrible was welling with it, and he didnât know how to cope.
âIâm here because I care about you,â Jazz repeated, and knelt beside him. She looked up into his face, and took his hand. Tim didnât know why. He was practically an adultâhe didnât need this!
âAnd I was fired because your Mother overheard you calling me âMommyâ on accident when you were tired. I suppose she was insulted, although Iâd never know why; itâs not like she was ever home to bond with you in the first place.â
Timâs throat closed. He missed his mom. He missed waiting up for his parentsâ flight home, seeing their headlights outside the window, and knowing theyâd bring home gifts from overseas. He missed using Momâs perfume, and knowing heâd used more of the bottle sitting on her dressed than she ever had, but that it still smelled like her. He missed hearing his Dad telling all sorts of adventure stories and promises through the phone to be home for the holidays, even if Tim knew there was every chance heâd find some other way to spend the time back in Gotham.
And there was some small child in him who missed Jazzy, who hugged him and walked him to the library and made him soup from a can instead of fancy dinners and, whoâd never needed to be waited for in the first place.
Tim looked at Jazzyâs round, freckled face.
He swallowed.
Tim moved out before the end of the week, as expected.
#dp x dc#Jazz fenton#tim drake#that one time Tim specifically hired a fake uncle so that Bruce couldn't adopt him#free to a good home#Jack Fenton knits btw#I'm not going to continue this but i thought it was a cool premise and needed its time. Have fun with it if you want to!#this is dedicated to all the fulltime nannies at the library who are fully just college girls raising babies#dpxdc#dcxdp#Jazz said is anyone going to raise this baby and was targeted by ninjas for it#I don't have any future plans BUT there is a moment where Dick tries to sneak into her apt to 'check it out' and she fully Gets Him with a#TBI and a Fenton CreepStickTM#also. parents who try to shape their kids by denying them every form of human comfort and access to their interests. You're dead to me#also also also I'm still a Tim Drake Autistic truther#not NOT inspired by the Say Uncle by Megarakles. This one's for you fellow fans#also. if he goes with her. He gets parented for the first time ever and it Sucks Ass lol.#faer fic
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Look, I love BBC Merlin and how they told the lore, but Iâm a sucker for the relationship between Arthur and Mordred in the mythology. Specifically, I love how Mary Stewart (author of The Arthurian Saga**) and Nancy Springer (author of I Am Mordred**) wrote about the father/son relationship between them. So naturally, my brain has been conjuring up how I can include that in my Flipping the Coin au.
Since the main premise is Merlin died/Arthur lives, and now Arthur is the one waiting for Merlin to come back, things would stay consistent with canon up to the last episode (when Merlin flips the coin of their destiny and sacrifices himself so Arthur can live and thus stop Camlann from happening altogether). Which is where this idea will start:
Gwen is barren. She and Arthur never have kids. Eventually, everyone Arthur knows and loves dies. He canât rule Camelot forever, and after Gwenâs death, he no longer wants to, so he fakes his death and wanders off figure out why heâs still here. He never gets an answer for that. Arthur spends the next millennium waiting. He keeps living. He meets people, experiences things heâd never experienced before, and learns things heâd never dreamed of learning. He canât stay anywhere long, or else suspicions will rise, but he gets to see the world change, how technology advances, and witness humans continuing to be humans. When war breaks out, he joins the battle. Itâs familiar. The rush of adrenaline is the same whether heâs wielding a sword or a gun. Only, he canât see the enemyâs face anymore.
Peace comes again. At some point, he sleeps with a woman, and she happens to become pregnant. Bisexual disaster that he is, heâs had all sorts of partners from both sexes, but has never had this happen, even before the advent of reliable birth control. Later, heâll learn her name is Morgause. She doesnât look like the Morgause he knew before, nor does she act like her, but her name haunts him. After the baby is born, she gives him to Arthur, says she has no intentions of being a mother, and leaves. The last thing she had said to him was the babyâs name.
Mordred.
That night, Arthur holds Mordred and weeps.
There is irony in his son being named Mordred. First, in that the legends surrounding him, Merlin, Camelot, the Knights of the Round Table, and all of it, had long ago decided Mordred was his son. And two, in a retelling of that legend, it had aptly phrased what he sensed was happening now. Granted, he isnât a sorcerer, he doesnât have magic, so he canât support his feeling with anything other than heâd been around a long time and knew to his very core that it was true. Mordredâs birth is a signal of the beginning of the end.
Fatherhood brings him a new sense of purpose. Gone are the days of loneliness and drudgery. Every day with Mordred brings a new light into his life. Each smile is a miracle. Seeing Mordred experience things for the first time brings a new appreciation. Being there to watch him grow makes time fly like it never has before. But Arthur is afraid. He doesnât want to be his father. He doesnât know how to be a father, or what the right way to do it is. In all the years heâs been on the Earth, heâs never known a man who could concretely say, âThis is the way to raise a son,â and actually reap the fruits of their efforts. Too frequently, heâd seen sons grow outside of the visions their fathers molded for them and receive only disappointment and disdain in return. So he was afraid, because he too had been that son.
*cue a series of fluffy father/son one shots of Arthur raising Mordred until Merlin comes back, takes one look, and is is like WTF????? No, I wonât have Mordred for a step son >:(*
**Mary Stewart and Nancy Springer have several other works, not just the stories I mentioned. The ones mentioned are the ones Iâm pulling inspiration from ^^
Additional notes below the break:
Guinevereâs barrenness is not a headcanon I typically subscribe to for BBC Merlin. My headcanon is that after Arthurâs death, Gwen gives birth, and their child eventually succeeds her as ruler.
Iâve always seen Mordredâs appearance as the harbinger of Arthurâs downfall. Thus, the reason for the plot bunnies in my brain going crazy with this idea of how I could bring him in, still remain mostly canon compliant with BBC Merlin, and build off some of my favorite parts of the lore. (Mandatory disclaimer: for BBC Merlin, I donât headcanon Mordred as Arthurâs son. But for the mythology, I do wholeheartedly support that canon.)
Arthurâs choice to participate and live once Camelot is gone is a decision to contrast my headcanon of how Merlin handled it. I donât think Merlin thrived. I think he stayed busy, and tried to remain hopeful, but I think he was anxiously consumed with the anticipation of wondering when Arthur would come back. In this au, Arthur may or may not know that Merlin is supposed to come back (Iâm still working on that detail), but heâs always been around others. I think he would seek camaraderie, and companionship, and that he would connect with others but only to a superficial level. I donât think heâd exist in a void of loneliness. Plus, he doesnât have the guilt of knowing he failed because the pressure from the prophecy is very one sided *coughcough*causemerlinnevertoldhim*coughcough*
Anyways, thatâs enough rambling from me about this. Iâll probably share some snippets of writing next because there are some fantastic scenes coming together in the draft so stay tuned! ;D
#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#mordred#flipping the coin#my drabbles#arthurian mythology will always be my jam#you can tear this au from my cold dead hands but it will live on#merthur#for the Merlin not wanting Mordred as a stepson joke the last Mordred he knew turned on them to join Morgana#as far as Merlin is concerned theyâre the same person#heâll come around eventually once Arthur fills him in on everything#btw Arthurâs son Mordred is unaware of all of this#heâs having to process his dad - who has never really been interested in anybody for any reason - is completely besotted with some guy#once he learns this âsome guyâ used to be his fatherâs servant it does not make things better#but by then heâll have learned enough that it does clear things up#heâs actually a big fan of Merlin#he just wasnât prepared for love sick puppy dog Arthur 24/7 now that Merlinâs back
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came up with a story for trollex n barb in my head n started doodling scenes of them đđ
#king trollex#queen barb#trolls#trolls world tour#mkay so basically#I wanted the story to be like#related to those mermaid stories where the mermaid is curious about the surface n stuff yk#And since I liked trollex n barb as a duo I was like#why not write about how they were old friends at 17-18 years old#And the last doodle shows how trollex is dead (not literally btw he's not actually dead)#And because of that he lost memory of who barb was#He lost his memory of everything him and barb did tgt#n they meet again after 4-5 years later#yea that's basically all the summary of the story#I do plan on writing it later on đ#lava lamp duo
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noel and identity loss...
trying to articulate why it feels wrong to call him charlie, because thats still him but at the same time not.
he's changed and things cant go back to the way they were, noel took up a new name one to remember but also to move on
i don't think noel is a fake name to him more so just a new identity he's taken up as an extension of himself. or at least someone he's rebuilt himself as after the dreamlands. i don't think he's discarded charlie as an identity but that he just has two names that are both very real to him, however just one of them is more in the forefront than the other so he'd be unused to his old name being used.
but i also think that he'd feel extremely disconnected to his old life and name that it would be uncomfortable and feel wrong for him, might feel that his past is catching up to him or maybe he'd be afraid that if he stops using noels name he'd be abandoning him in some way
or just using the name as an escape from the king in yellow who likely would've called him by his original name
i recognise this is like probably nothing at all but it is rotating in my brain and i need to get it out, i love saying shit and being completely incoherent
#may be hard projecting but i think that noel wouldn't respond to charlie on instinct#or at least wouldn't realise that he is the one being called#maybe he'd jump or flinch at the name but wouldn't perceive it as being him ; it'd just be a name he'd recognise#me with my not-dead-deadname that i use for government stuff because changing legal name is complicated#and it's not like i entirely hate my original name since it's already genderneutral all things considered but still feels so WEIRD#i can deal with being called it but it's just not ?? who i perceive myself as?#DOES THIS MEAN ANYTHING??#anyway taking up the name of someone/something that is important to you is core transgender experience right#i'm normal and i have normal thoughts about characters i enjoy#i am just saying things and people can agree/disagree with whatever they want btw i love making thigns up#detective noel#malevolent
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also while we're here i would like to share the two iterations of tumblr user gorespawn that have existed since i abandoned this blog back in like early 2021. Who wants me
#i grew my hair out so i could twirl my hair while giggling about bald men#and also t.o.p of bigbang#and short men i see at the grocery store who honestly make me feel light-headed with raw and unbridled Want#but that's just a joke. i am. Lesbian#''no ur not'' I AM#anyway i used to be so ripped and hunky but now i am frail and sickly#what getting a job can do to a mf#thankfully i quit my job last week YIPPIIIEEEEEEE so now i will work towards becoming an absolute hunk again#wish me luck#ALSO#if anyone is obsessed with me and remembers all my lore i used to be transgender and i still am like lowkey on the down low#but in a new exciting way#anyway i used to be a gay man and then a stone butch dyke (as seen above) but now im practicing being a girl#it is very difficult but it is also fun. ive never been a girl before so it's a lot#anyway i bought two super cool sexy dresses yesterday for the first time ever in my life#sexy dresses meaning up to my neck and down to my feet and past my elbows. kind of like a wardrobe straight out of the handmaid's tale#from (to quote my friend) ''*The* old lady store'' thanks man. well i think theyre pretty and its v exciting bc ive never been a girl befor#anyway#who wants me#i still use the name emil online btw and i honestly always will i think it's just so me and also i do still answer to he/him dw#in a man way not in a he/him lesbian way#''he's LGBTQA+'' what. all at once?#yes.#i have mastered them all i have collected all the genders and all the sexualities and ive never been ''wrong''#it just keeps switching. which is fine. well im a girl now. in a detransitioning man way. who is insanely attracted to men#but you will have to tear this lesbian label out of my cold dead hands#''you can't call urself lesbian if u have sex w men'' well first of all fuck you and second of all i am celibate so you dont need to worry#''what the hell are you talking about'' nothing. now look how hot i am#im just joking around i hope that's fine w y'all
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Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet
#Celtrist#cel rambles#I don't particularly care how abundant the merch is on shark robot#It literally feels like they'll take a scrap of anything and make it a pin#Like the Moxie Antartica pin Really sir and a bunch others where they're just a random frame from the show#I mean they're FUN frames at least but I swear I've seen some real random ones that don't even make sense to be a pin#AND I'M SORRY WHY DO THEY HAVE SO MUCH MERCH OF CHARACTERS THAT I CAN'T IMAGINE BEING THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT#Sallie Mae fine I can see why people like her and want merch#Chaz is pushing it especially seeing as he's pretty dead but fine I suppose he has his fans#Glitz and Glam? Okay you already fucked up not going with their beta designs but who really was looking at them and thinking âI want merchâ#But fine. I'm sure they have their fans#BUT FREAKING MUFFY?? THE VET RECEPTIONIST? WHO TF WAS ASKING FOR A PIN OF HER? DID YOU EVEN KNOW HER NAME?#They do that shit all the time and it aggravates me. They seem to go by a âquantity over qualityâ thing.#Which their quality is great btw but the quantity of things they have for characters that don't even matter and are seen once is rediculous#Also when I was gonna look up when we were gonna meet Vassago I saw he was an overlord in the pilot#Curious if that's gonna stay. What's to say overlords can't be hellborns or goetia#Is he a goetia? Not sure.#P-point is I like their merch and the new batch seems to mostly be uniquely made to be merch and I like that#But the amount of âgarbageâ (that's mean but best way I can put it) merch that has a character little to no one would care about#Or is essentially JUST a screen grab from the show is annoying and just pointlessly fills the shop pages#And while I see from a business perspective why they'd put Vassago out especially since some already like him#I also just think it's silly for him to already have merch when we haven't seen his character other than in the trailer#Surprised they don't have merch of satan out yet lol#Okay but I would've approved only so they could make a krampus joke with him#Granted I don't care about Helluva as much as Hazbin#But can't help to be more critical of it when it has a lot of problems Hazbin has aside from pacing#But absolutely NO excuse or leeway for the reason of the sloppy writing that's present#Lemme reiterate my good ol' phrase here:#You're not in the Sonic fandom for like 22 yrs and don't learn to be critical of the media you enjoy lol#rant
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âYou know, Damianâs half convinced you let it happen.â Tim scoffs. âSounds like him.â âNot like that. Heâs different now, he wouldnât say that.â âWhat the hell else am I supposed to think?â âYou confronted Azrael alone, in civvies, after heâd already beaten you up once just for getting in his way. Is it that much of a stretch for Damian to think you might have had a death wish?â âI didnât have a death wish.â Steph gives him a long look. "Sure."
missed posting my annual november reverse robins timsteph angst so to make up for it here's an even angstier than usual painting from this AU <3 more coming soon hopefully!!
#tim drake#reverse robins#ev sketches#tw implied suicide#(in the knowingly putting yourself in a very very dangerous situation but not consciously or personally killing yourself kind of way)#if i had the skill and the motivation this was gonna be two panels bc this is what damian discovers when he books it to the cave#he and tim bond for the first time when tim is like all of my friends and family are dead you are literally my last choice.#but can you help me with this azrael thing. do NOT tell bruce he wants to retire and i can't take that from him.#trying to shield him from this has nothing to do with my dad very recently dying because of me being a vigilante btw.#and damian's like this is a bad idea and he's very obviously unwell and injured and we do hate each other but like. yeah. fuck bruce rn.#he literally hired this insane person to be interrim batman over me so yeah sure let's team up.#and then they hang out for a while and having a common enemy is awesome and bitching about bruce to someone who gets it is kind of. great?#and damian's like wow maybe it's not too late to have a relationship with this kid (my future brother????)#so they make plans to stop azrael and fix everything without even calling bruce once and they're like wow we make a good team!#like a day before they put that plan in action azbats kills someone very publicly#and damian is like oh god tim (very mentally ill) is about to do something so stupid.#and he is! but damian is in bludhaven when he hears the news so. too late. :(#when tim gets resurrected he's blind in one eye (azrael's sword) and can't always breathe right (died from blood in lungs)#he does not get the jason lazarus pit dunk đ#at least not right away đ#rr tag
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i request of thee..shattered omori and. basil from the watermelon room gettinf along
Shattered omori: âheâs just like me for real!!!!â
#they are friends your honour!!!#fun fact about my unnamed fucked up headspace omori au btwâŚ#all the âdeadâ basils were meant to kinda disappear but because of how warped the space is now they all lived#which is really disturbing for the one Basil who DID survive the slaughter l#but shattered omori is friends with a lot of them!!!#they donât know how to feel about him because theyâre still in shock over OMORIâs betrayal#those of them that KNOW that is. and those that do are still in denial not wanting to believe omori could ever do something wrong#omori#omori basil#omori omori#omori shattered omori#sorry this took so long!!! SHSJSJSJS
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Me: People who hated Jason Todd did so because he wasn't Dick Grayson, so they were people who were attached to Dick and have spent years reading his adventures as Robin. That means they were probably older teenagers at least, but probably adults. The DC writers themselves, who are adults, hated Jason and wanted him to die, because of their love for Dick. Therefor, people who liked Jason the most were young people, of the same age as him. He could have been their friend, they saw themselves in him. In posts online where people ask why some voted for Jason to die, young people (at the time) explain how they didn't think it was possible and cried afterward, which really show their ages. We can also bet that the people who wrote to DC about how sad they were that Jason died and how much they cried are also young, teenagers or maybe younger. Jason was them, he was their age and their friend, their hero. But the older generations didn't care about what Jason represented to these children, didn't care about the pain Jason's death would bring. Their nostalgia had become hate, it blinded them. The only thing that mattered was that Jason needed to be gone. It was never going to bring back Dick, which is reinforced by him refusing to come back as Robin when Tim asked him after Jason's death, nothing could do that. But they refused to accept it. Poll clerk: Miss, this is a polling station for the French legislative elections... Me: And yet, older folks still let nostalgia blind them to hate and vote against progress, changes that are inevitable, harming in the process the younger generations and their future, even leading some to their death. Poll clerk: Miss, I must ask you to leave.
#jason todd#robin#dick grayson#dc comics#my ramblings#I'm not saying all adults voted to kill Jason and all young teens voted to save him#just that it's highly possible more adults wanted Jason dead than teenagers#and people who loved Jason were younger than people who hated him#and also pointing out the selfishness some people have while voting an action possible because of the community for the well-being of all#yes I went to vote today#I hate being call âmissâ but that's what people use for me all the time#that didn't happen btw I am so anxious I can barely say bonjour I'm not ranting about anything to anyone
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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i have no idea whatsoever about who the killer(s) might be this season, but i AM worried to death that LORETTA is in huuuuuge danger !!!! SAVE MY LORETTA !!!! YOU WILL NOT HAVE HER DIE TOO
#4771#omitb#omitb s4#omitb spoilers#i was right about dudenoff being dead BUT HOLY COW I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO BE INCINIRATED AS WELL#and he was murdered and burnt 3 YEARS AGO ?!?!?!?!#who the fck can easily access the arconia's apartments to place secret camera#and shoot from long distances#and take dudenoff's checks from the bodega#and receive all the money the westies have been paying for their rent ???#who had sazz's smartphone ???#i guess they have loretta's too or answered the phone when oliver called her to clear up the whole proposal situation#I THINK LORETTA HAS ALREADY BEEN INJURED IF NOT FREAKING KILLED BUT IT'S SUCH A SCARY THOUGHT I DO NOT WANT IT TO BE REAL#also why would someone shoot Glen !?!?! and Zach ?!?!?!???#i am so confused WHO IS BEING THREATENED AND WHO IS FREAKING KILLING EVERYONE#i am very suspicious of jan btw#and lester#and i also believe one of the sisters could have been involved without telling her twin#BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONNECT THE DOTS#so that's all you'll get from me#dear lord i pray charles mabel and oliver will be alright#and loretta too#also don't you find it weird paul rudd was included in the opening titles for the 4x07 episode but never really appeared on screen#aside from the initial frame where he's lying on the ground in a blood pool#just thinking
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this is literally a description of his relationship with jerry btw
#this would be sick queerbait if it came out in 2012#anyway i think i've mentioned this before but the way i watch seinfeld is that i heacanon that jerry's in love with all of his friends#but george is the only one who's in love with him back#but he doesn't realise it#elaine and kramer do love him. but not like that.#i'm dead serious about this btw. i think it adds a fun tragic depth to jerry's character.#i think he's like that because he knows he can't be with any of them how he truly wants to be#sometimes a man hurts every woman who enters his life because his true soulmate is his three best friends#seinfeld
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me @ max
#i love him so much#he's actually everything to me#do you guys ever think#that he's so soft outside of the car because he's never known softness#i know this is like very parasocial of me#but i think about it all the time#i hope he knows that even if there is so much hate#there are so many of us who love him#if max verstappen has no fans I'm dead#i love that he's such a straightforward no bullshit person#but he knows how to be kind#i like my atheletes like that#cutthroat but not an asshole#this is no hate to any other drivers btw#i love all of them and admire them so much#i want to just hug max once in my life#that's it#max verstappen i love you#i'm a max defender till death#nothing could ever make me hate you max verstappen#max verstappen#mv1#mv33
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still cannot believe my current status is
fatherhood
#last night's activities. as best as what i can sum up: lore was added to my theoretical fucked up family#im apparently the father of 3+ sons. I used to have just 2. Jeffrey & Not Jeffrey. Joey âbabyâ is now my 3rd child (i dont want him)#I apprently am the cause of their mom's death. Btw they had 3 moms. a âtriple lesbian affairâ.#the 3 moms: the scientist who conducted the experiment#the machine that housed my 2 original sons and the dead mom they spliced the majority of the DNA with. and im the father. im the father????#this lead into them making a 12 days of christmas carol with me as GDILF MY GOD. AM I GONNA POST THAT?? IM NOT SURE#THEN IT LEAD TO ALL OF US ROTTING TIL 4AM CRYING AT 2 LINES FROM A CHARACTER SAYS IN A WEIRD WAY IN PUYO#ITS COMING#DONT YOU FEEL THAT#I CAN SEE IT#THIS KILLED A RED PANDA. YOU WONT FIND HER BODY.
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this has to be the best ive ever drawn him. im in love..
#ghost's doodles#LIKE. IVE BEENTRYING TO PERFECT HOW ALL THE JAPANESE ARTISTS DRAW HIM AND ITS BEEN SOOOO GRUELING...#who knew that i would get him how i wanted to draw him in FUCKING Microsoft paint.#ignore that hand btw#GPOOPDODODODDDDD AMBROSE UUU........ ive been thinkgin of that scenario u sent me and im not normal#its 1:30 am...#i need him shot dead rn btw
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