#if anyone is obsessed with me and remembers all my lore i used to be transgender and i still am like lowkey on the down low

[gorespawn]

also while we're here i would like to share the two iterations of tumblr user gorespawn that have existed since i abandoned this blog back in like early 2021. Who wants me

[lovingjingyuan]

It's Just The Past You Can't Remember

Blade wants you because you look like his past lover whom he married when he was Yingxing. The same name, birthday, face, hair everything resembled his wife who died to help assist him in his crimes taking the flesh of the abundance emanator that turned him immortal. 

This will be hard to understand if you don't know the actual in-game lore how Blade actually became immortal so I'll sum it quick ***Jingliu said something along the line in the quest where they all meet up. Yingxing is a fool for taking an abundance emanator's(Shuhu) flesh to assist Dan Feng in saving Baiheng but ended up backfiring turning him into a immortal, becoming a curse for him*** Yeah that's the actual in game lore in a quest. Hopes this helps understand! I changed some parts to adjust to the story but the one I just said is the real version.

Yandere Blade x Yingxing's reincarnated wife

---♡𓌜 Bladie 𓁍

Blade laid his eyes on you through the coward. This wasn't the first time you two had met on another planet. You were in Elio's script so he always knew exactly where you are and what your every move is.

Even if he cannot remember his past fully he knew out of Five people Three must pay the price. And he pursues those very words. He remembered that Yingxing, his past self, had a wife who died in his arms.

Jing Yuan and Jingliu confirmed those very words. Pictures of their engagement kept in Jing Yuan's basement confirmed those dreams he had of his past life with you.

So now he stood waiting for the opportunity to take you. He will never let anyone take you away now. No matter how long he'll always hunt you down on every planet you go to just to pursue you.

You laid your eyes on Blade while he walked towards you pushing through the cowards of people.

Why is he here? You think to yourself as you push through the people to get yourself out of here. Fear rushed through your veins as you hurried out of here.

You ran to tell the guards on this planet that a wanted criminal from the IPC was here. A stellaron hunter. This was never your first encounter with him where he constantly harasses you with the idea you're his past lover and he's here to take you back.

You can't remember your past life! And you don't know this man at all so why is he here?! Every relationship you got in was over in a heartbeat. They all abandoned you due to fear of Blade and his sword slaying through their necks.

To Blade, you're still his wife even if you can't remember the past. Can he remember it clearly himself? No, but knows enough to put the pieces together and desire to live through those moments once again. To him; you being a new person is basically almost a win-win. He’s not his old self you’re not your past self so why not start a new beginning together? Just a refreshing start, just the two of you forever. 

You stopped in your tracks when in one swift motion an arm wrapped around your waist pulling you in his embrace.

"Found you," the harshness of his voice rang in your ears. Cold blood rushed through your body. 

"You again! Why do you always do this?!"

"I'm here for one simple thing" his voice was deep and cold yet he was serious, "I came here to take back what's mine."

You plunged a knife into his abdomen. He grunted in pain but held you steadily refusing to let go. Those wounds won't hurt as much as losing you again. Even if the game and adrenaline is captivating as it is, he won’t lose you again.

"Is that the best you can do my dear?" His voice rang through your ears.

"I don't know why you're obsessing over the past! You're just a Stellaron Hunter. You should be focusing on atoning for your sins instead of this!" You used every strength in your body to push him away. It was never enough he didn't even budge.

"Why would I let you off so easily? You belong to me." His arms still gripped tightly around your waist having no intention of letting go. "You once belonged to Yingxing so you belong to me."

This made your blood boil. You held back every nerve in your body not to blow up at him calling him an imbecile and use profound language towards him.

"I don't know who Yingxing is or his wife. You don't have to hunt me down. Your wife. She's long gone dead. You know it so stop hunting me down everywhere I go!" You snapped at him, balling your hands into a fist.

He grabbed your chin tilting your chin towards his face. He blood orange iris staring into yours. You can see your reflection in his eyes. His pupils expanded. He was truly in love with the past.

Blade remains silent for what seems like a good while. His hands brushed against your waist softly holding you firmly.

"What if I want to reclaim what was once mine in the past?"

"Well, you can dig up your wife's grave then!"

His eyes harshed. His blood boiled. Even though he knew for sure you were his past lover. The dishonorable mention of his wife still angered him immensely when someone badmouthed his lover. “And you're the reason your wife died! She helped you take abundance emanator’s(Shuhu) flesh! Helping you betray the Luofu! Because of your selfishness, she died and you're immortal!"

Although you didn't fully understand his past relationships with his wife. You knew this from the books you read. How your past self had helped him betray Luofu out of love.

You know that you cannot deny that it may be true you are his past lover but a reincarnation. Yet your stubbornness prevents you from accepting the truth.

“You can't love someone from dreams and memories you don't even remember-" his hands covered your mouth preventing you from speaking any further as he immediately cut you off.

"I remember. My dreams are accurate to my past" He always told you he dreamt of his past when he was once Yingxing.

He continued, "You are her!" His words are swift and furious. He always reminded you that you have the exact same name, face, and birthday as his past wife.

"My last dream was you and me on bed during our wedding night." Blade always told you of his dream every time you've met. "You told me that you will always love and stay with me no matter the situation."

So that he dragged you away without your consent keeping you trapped with him forever. You'll live your life with him. And once this life of yours dies out he'll go on his hunt for your next life.

Maybe he'll give you the flesh of an abundance emanator to become immortal like he once did so he can keep this fairytale he longed for forever.

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

the babbit masterpost

HELLO welcome to the Babbit's Blog masterpost!!! On this post you'll find some fun facts about yours allegedly (me <33), some ref's for my different 'sona's, and a couple links to my fics and whatnot! Are you ready? No?? Excellent neither am i let's do this

Meet the Babbits!: the self-inserts/personas

the first ref is for my general/most commonly used persona, Babbit! They aren't really an anthro/furry as much as they are a humanoid with the head of a rabbit. I like to think of this one as the 'me' that's in my head- the purest form of my thoughts and feelings, but not the solid real-life me. The second ref is my self-insert persona, Rabbit, the one i picture using most often when i'm reading a fic or imagining a self-insert scenario lol. This one is like the me that people see and meet and speak to in real actual life, if that makes sense. It's the way I come across to people and all of the things I wish I could iron out of my crumpled up real-self <3 The third is a much more specific 'sona, Hazel, who started off as a FNaF:SB animatronic self-insert. She does have a backstory and lore now, which i think makes her more of an OC than a self-insert, but a lot of her is still me and a lot of what she experiences in her backstory is from my life/instills the same feelings that were taken away from things that happened to me, so I think she kinda counts enough to put a ref for her here sdkjfsdhfj (Why the different names?: makes things a little easier, and they hold meaning to me symbolically, I guess!)

Content!: Here's a short list of my various fics that will get updated as I create more! (it was, in reality, not fine.): FNaF Sun/Moon x Reader fanfic, gender neutral, for general audiences, fluff-fest, idiots to lovers "You're the new tech/repairman at the Fazbear Mega Pizzaplex, unfortunately. Your first task? To make the Daycare Attendant into two separate animatronics. It's an amazing opportunity, really, and there is nothing you love more than getting a chance to really work with such tech! The only bad part is that you don't know how to tell anyone that you just might be in over your head. (You are extremely in over your head.)" After Everything Was Fixed (but you were still broken): AU FNaF Sun/Moon x (Animatronic) Reader, gender neutral, read with caution, angst, harm to sentient robots, traumatized main character, hurt/comfort slow burn, romance slow burn "The virus was gone. Everyone was fixed. You had been put back together. It's a time for a new beginning, to do things right this time, to wash away the past and paint a better future. Their memories of the infection had- mercifully- been taken away from them. Yours had not. He doesn't understand why you try to avoid him. Even if you could tell him, you're not sure you would. You want to be his friend, but it's difficult; every time you see him, you remember the hundreds of times he killed you." A fic where you are a repairman-themed STAFFbot, taking place post-virus. In the past, Moon, infected by the virus, took delight in attacking and dismantling the reader during the night. Now, in the present, you find yourself burdened by the memories of the past while everyone around you has no recollection of the events. It gets more complicated as Sun and Moon, both now cleared of the virus, grow curious of you. This fic will follow a series of arcs, presently on arc one. For anyone curious, feel free to send an ask about the arcs in 'After Everything Was Fixed'! The Sun, the Moon, and the Blazing Comet (title subject to change): AU FNaF Sun/Moon/Eclipse x Reader, gender neutral, teen and up audiences, travel/journey, betrayal, hurt/comfort slowburn, reconciling, themes of breaking the mold, found family (TBA) Hold My Broken Hands (title subject to change): AU FNaF Sun/Moon x Reader, gender neutral, mature audiences, dark romance, dark comedy, severe bodily harm, mutilation, murder, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, lovesick (TBA)

My AU's!: i'm going to make a Babbit-AUs-Masterpost and then put the link here i swear, i just have so many im sorry jdfhsjdfhs (like more than twenty)

Fandoms!: I enjoy, have been in, made or make content for: Pokemon Undertale FNaF Creepypasta (YEAH I KNOW LET ME LIVE OKAY) My Little Pony (I KNOW OKAY LEAVE ME ALONE) Steven Universe Star Trek Warrior Cats i'm sure theres more but i just forgot everything i have ever liked wheeeeeze

Whomst the hell?: HI I'm Rabbit! Or Bones! Or Babbit! Or Avarice/Ava, if you want to go for a more legitimate-sounding name. I'm 24 years old, prefer to use they/them pronouns, and so, so incredibly ace. I've been drawing as long as I've had the ability to hold a pen, writing since I was in grade school, and being a plague to the ones around me since the beginning of time! If you've seen my art, its probably from the absolute mountain of fluffy-wuffy love-dovey (y/n) x Sundrop/Moondrop/Eclipse doodles I've been sharing for several years now sdfjhsdj. If you've heard of my fics, it was probably the one I made just for fun that's now turned into an actual fanfiction that I enjoy writing, the silly-lovey-fluff incarnate (it was, in reality, not fine.) !

Likes n Dislikes!: I'm a sucker for sap, fluff, and lots and lots of love-dovey bullshit! I also like stories about finding oneself and monsters being befriended or loved. I like space, aliens, robots, the odd and strange, injecting humanity into things not human, monsters, creatures, animals, the fae, concepts of spirits and karma and the afterlife, and more! I dislike 'fanservice', most anime tbh LOL it's not personal I just don't enjoy it im srry, FLY BABIES i know they have an actual name but i hate that word too pls just dont i will scream, sexually aggressive/forceful content/characters, being made to feel small, dumb, or trapped,

Other!: I have a pretty high gross-out tolerance! I also have a pretty high 'wow that's messed up huh' tolerance, in that sometimes I will just say stuff that's super grim or dark or messed up and not realize it lmao. I am full of random facts and anecdotes, especially weird or gross ones! sometimes i get on tangents that can go for actual hours so pls forgive that lol

WARNINGS: THIS BLOG MAY FEATURE CONTENT BASED ON/RELATED TO THEMES OF GUILT, CHILDHOOD LOSS, GRIEF, SELF HATRED, DISCONNECTION FROM REALITY/SELF, TRAUMA, AND SEVERE DEPRESSION/ANXIETY. YES I AM GETTING HELP. YES I AM OKAY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND UNDERSTANDING.

bonus persona: crybaby

[belladrawschstuff]

The struggle is real

I swear bro this fandom is good but like their are some real bad disadvantages.

no.1 when someone asks you what fandoms your in cause fr I'm in so many but all of them are terrifying to talk about because there will never be a way to explain countryhumans to someone, you either love it or you hate and also like it just feels so weird to talk about like

"oh so what fandoms are you in"

"oh well I'm in the countryhumans fandoms, basically the country becomes alive and then they bang and stab each other and everyone's chill with that and you get to draw art of it."

no.2 when you have a CH Tumblr account, you can no longer give ur opinion in like real life stuff, like I saw a post about something and I was about to give a witty comment, and then I realized I have my PFP as Britain and 13 colonies and I immediately changed my mind. Like at least with my other profile picture was better because it didn't show CH it just showed that one meme of " WTF IS A KILOMETER"

no.3 you have to hide your art or like you gonna get banned from the internet by your parents like I remember I used to be REALLY obsessed when it was like 2021 and I used to watch videoes ( idk how cause now anytime I here any of the meme songs I immediately cringe) and then my mom went through my last seen videos you should've seen how sweaty I got. I mean ofc none of them were crazy but it just shows just how weird it is, like thank God she didn't ask me about it she was just like ok this is what shes watching I guess cause I did not want to explain what it is

no.4 you just get bullied for liking it. personally it hasn't happened to me yet because literally no one knows me but like there are some people just being like " why do you like this weird shit, get a life you *enter unoriginal insult*. Like I didn't bully you for being weird, your literally in the corner of the internet, you wanna also know who's in the Corner, the weird kids, stop acting like you don't have a strange fandom or 2, Ill say it Im also in the Minecraft, Hetalia, and even sky cotl ( Its got weird ass lore but in all honesty its pretty fire, just know some people are mad at the developers for putting every cool cosmetic as IAPs so yeah) and I'm a history nerd (probably why I'm here) and I'm obsessed with any internet drama like the lunchly drama with KSIs new song getting cooked. Listen you stay in your lane and I will too. I also used to be in the Baldi, Sonic and Mario community. This is not the weirdest shit I have and I'm sure its not yours or anyone's in this community.

[v3x4t1on]

I followed for the one piece x homestuck meta lore

yk what, anon. as a treat ill explain what ive been thinking about earlier

(spoiler warning for up to wci, i think. its hard to remember what lore was revealed when, sorry.)

for the context of this world, devil fruits probably exist. or they can be psionics, but im honestly not sure which route i wanna go. celestial dragons are for sure fuschiabloods, no doubt. the alternian government is just the marines and are led by highbloods. alternia’s hierarchal system fits pretty well into one piece i’d say. the empress would just be imu, but there would be more than one fuschia running around. perhaps the world is a lot more flooded than alternia and theres different islands so the maps pretty similar to the one piece world. thus, its a bit harder for the troll marines to enforce their laws.

gol d roger was a limeblood who forever changed alternian history by telling people of his hidden treasure, the one piece. this led to a huge wave of pirates, and more open opposition against the empress. limebloods such as gol d roger to this day are still being hunted down by the government due to the threat they pose to it. the oppressive nature of the marines is the exact same as the alternian government, so i hope i dont have to explain it too much.

hancock’s been on my mind a lot lately, her tribe as well. i think they’d all be jadebloods that were once cloistered and now live on their own away from alternian authority. hancock and her sisters were enslaved by fuschias at a very young age, eventually escaping and forming their independent tribe. she has a strong distaste for highbloods.

i felt like jade fit very well for hancock as well as her whole tribe considering jadeblood culture. jadebloods are also pretty rare compared to other castes are are almost always born female. cloistered jades are also isolated from the rest of society to focus on their duties, and have much more pacifist views compared to the rest of the world. yada yada i think it fits perfectly. i also think hancock and her sisters would be rainbowdrinkers… that could be why the rest of the kuja tribe worship/respect them. rainbowdrinkers are regarded as myth in alterian culture, but are worshipped/romanticized by cloistered jades like theyre all twilight fans basically

big moms pirates just feel like theyd be a group of juggalos to me? a huge family of purplebloods obsessed with violence and food.

the vinsmokes… oh man. judge was an indigo scientist who strived to create the most cracked goldbloods; living weapons of destruction that can hold in immense power. goldbloods are often used by highbloods to power things such as ships, and are typically regarded as just living batteries. since goldbloods are known for their great psionics, judge wanted to combine their powerful psionics with the strength of a highblood, since highbloods tend to live longer and have more natural physical strength. sora is forced to participate despite her efforts to foil the experiment. since the vinsmoke children are a mix of goldblood and indigoblood dna, their blood is an odd shade of green/teal; because of this, sanji ends up disguising himself as a tealblood. his abilities are not unlocked until much later, but the genetic modifications done to his body explains his fire psionics and unnatural strength. the other vinsmoke children are some of the mutants permitted by law since theyre being used to benefit the alternian government and empress in the long run.

i will probably write more posts but im just trying to get some of my thoughts out while i still remember. please talk to me about this im down to talk about anything. i can also classpect characters and explain why i think that if anyone wants

also reposting this for reference. please ask questions!!

-??

[lady-phasma]

Do you believe Aemond is a Valyrian Supremacist? He models Daemon so much in his focus on Valyrian history, dragons, Targaryen blood etc, that to me I feel as though he must to some extent believe Targaryen's to be superior? I see alot of people defending him on the basis he isn't, but... I just don't see why Aemond of all characters wouldn't have feelings of superiority based on his blood? Extending from that, do you think he would have preferred to wed a Targaryen woman? We get a glimpse he feels that way from the TV show, but in the circumstances he had another sister instead of Helaena, surely he would have been betrothed to her/wanted to be? I just truly cannot see him as being free of "bigotry" in regards to seeing non- Valyrians as below him. Like? Isn't that the point of him hating Rhaneyra's sons? Because they are bastards from a lower House?

This is a really great ask, anon. Thank you for asking me. But of course, you asked me, so it’s no surprise that I will give a very me answer.

First, I really dislike having that phrase Valyrian Supremacist on my blog. I only have it one other time that I can remember and that was also an ask. Briefly, I’ll tell you why: it is a 20th-21st century Earth term that may not have been present in Westeros. If we are discussing in-universe theory and not literary/film theory then I choose to avoid it.

This may get long but I want to be as clear as possible: I only slightly agree with you. If we grant the premise, that he models parts of his personality after Daemon (which is a difficulty premise to grant in its entirety), then I would say that his Targaryen side would value that heritage to a degree. However, he cares deeply for his entire family and that includes the Hightowers. His last name is Targaryen, but let’s not forget he is also a Hightower. I think great houses/names are very important to royalty in Westeros, Aemond included. Hightowers are certainly not lowborn.

Trying to go in the same order as your questions, I would say next that all descendants of Valyria may feel superior because of history and dragon lore. I can never overlook House Velaryon in these discussions. They also have immense pride in their heritage and name. However, when you say “Aemond of all characters” I wonder exactly why he stands out as someone for whom this pride seems more important. If we examine his actions in season one and in the book, I think we can see that his character is no more or less concerned with it than the average character.

If he were more concerned with Targaryen blood and that pride fueled his decisions, what would that say about Alys Rivers? I think most fans who haven’t read the book know a little about her, but for those who don’t she was a bastard Aemond took as a “war bride.” Regardless of whether or not she bewitched him, we can’t talk about his life as a whole without mentioning her and their relationship. If she did, we aren't told at exactly what point that happened. He wasn't above sex with non-Targaryens.

Since it was first uttered, I have been obsessed with his line “I would perform my duty, if mother had only betrothed us.” Leo Ashton delivered it with such sincerity and commitment that it is hard to argue against Aemond’s devotion to his family (not discussing any specific romantic ships here). As we know, royalty and aristocracy in Westeros get very little choice in who they wed. The hypothetical “if he had another sister” is interesting because that marriage would, ultimately, be decided by Viserys and Alicent.

Such a betrothal would have been seen as a duty and honorable, so I have no doubt that Aemond would have agreed. I don’t know that anyone would disagree that Aemond puts his family above everything else. Thus, I have yet to see in the series direct bigotry from him. Factually, with no nuance, the issue with Rhaneyra’s sons is illegitimacy. Every character may have a different interpretation as to how this effects the line of succession and only a few state it explicitly in the series. I would argue that Aemond doesn’t care that their father isn’t Laenor Velaryon when he first calls them bastards. Children at that age might not really comprehend the ramifications of that accusation (I think we see clearly that Aegon doesn’t). Aemond first dislikes his nephews because they were cruel to him. Yes, his brother was as well. The Pink Dread was seemingly almost entirely Aegon’s idea, but siblings often forgive each other more readily than they may forgive outsiders.

In Fire & Blood we get a clear picture of how much his animosity and resentment fuel his actions:

One by one, every man and boy with Strong blood in his veins was dragged forth and put to death, until the heap made of their heads stood three feet tall.

I do not think this action was about bloodlines or heritage. I believe this was entirely revenge. By this point in the Dance, Aemond is furious and nearly crazed by his need to avenge the wrongs done to his family. I don’t think it was an attempt to annihilate the Strong bloodline, but a show of force and power. Aemond is formidable, rash, and still young enough to not care about consequences. Perhaps you have noticed I skipped over the direct slight against him. Lucerys altered Aemond’s life irrevocably. Had this same mutilation happened to a low born boy, he would have had no future at all in Westeros. Aemond’s lifestyle was only salvaged because he is royalty and through determination of will.

Would the loss of an eye, the murder of one’s young nephew (Prince Jaehaerys), and the maiming of one’s brother cause a young prince to go nearly mad with rage and the need for revenge? I believe so. By this point in the Dance, further along than I think you asked about, Targaryen heritage is probably the last thing on Aemond’s mind. I have no doubt that he was raised to believe that dragons, the throne, and many other things make Targaryens better. But we should never discount his mother’s influence. This man loves her dearly and Alicent may provide some balance in his understanding of things. My headcanon about his religion (not particularly relevant here) comes from the canon that Alicent has a strong faith in the Seven. I think this has a deep effect on Aemond and could influence whether or not Targaryen blood is paramount to him.

Lastly, I wanted to address this statement:

I see a lot of people defending him on the basis he isn’t

I assume that you use “defending” in the sense that these fans attempt to separate him as somehow immune to this pride or better than other Targaryens. I don’t know that I have read exactly the defenses you’re referencing, but I will be clear: this is not a discussion of fanfiction. If that is an element of a work of fanfiction, then by all means, go for it. It doesn’t seem plausible, however, that anyone of Valyrian descent is immune to this type of indoctrination.

[knightsofeclipse]

(Facebook ate this twice as I resized my window, I'm gonna cry)

Light spoilers for the ball, I reference the events but really don't get into them.

A little background, I have been obsessed with what we can ascertain from "non-canon" events. The character lore and insights that might be hiding there. (So we're all on the same page, I'm using "non-canon" here to refer to events and episodes that do not share continuity with the rest of the series. The Freaky Friday episodes share their own continuity).

The events of the ball put the last piece of the puzzle (or so I thought, we'll come back to that) together for me about the first "non-canon" episode. That would be "In an alternate universe" which was uploaded to Facebook on January 4th of this year (2024).

Just to be clear, I am not making assertions on whether this was planned and intentional or not. I just think it's really interesting that a lot of this, I was only able to pick up on in hindsight.

In the episode, we follow Charlotte in the staff room with Sorscha. They're talking about annual leave and Charlotte falls sleep. When she wakes up, she's in an alternate universe where everyone is out of character.

Or that's how it seems at first glance.

Sorscha is dismissive, telling Charlotte to "tell someone who cares". Autumn is overly complimentary and approval seeking. Marjorie is hungover and moody, shouting about hating kids. And Carly is a bully.

Initially, I had read this episode as what it appears to be; a flip of everyone's personality. Just for fun with no real impact on anything.

Now, in hindsight, what it looks like (to me anyway) is Charlotte realizing these things about her friends that don't necessarily line up with how she views them and her looking, mentally, for a way to rationalize what she's being forced to acknowledge:

Autumn is lonely. She's desperate for approval from the people around her. She's just distanced herself from her father as she starts a relationship with Winter, essentially losing the approval of the last person she had felt close to while still being new to feeling close to someone outside her family. She's intense about it. I'd even go so far as to say, in this alternate universe, she becomes a parody of herself as she tries to gain Charlotte's approval.

Marjorie is short tempered. She makes bad choices. She's human. But she also tends to make those bad choices, and the resulting consequences, everyone else's problem. Listen well because you won't hear this from me again: Janice was right to call Marjorie out on this. Marjorie is not a very self-aware person and before Janice laid it out for her, she probably had no idea this was something she does.

And Carly. Carly is selfish. The events of the ball showed us her true colours and that she's only ever been out for herself. She makes her choices based on what will be the most entertaining for her with little regard for anyone else involved. And she rarely gets called out for this because most of the time she isn't hurting anyone with it.

Now, if we can go back to my "or so I thought" from before. Sorscha. I had forgotten her involvement in this episode. And going back to rewatch, she kinda threw this whole thing off. She is who I've been simmering on since the ball. We don't see a whole lot of her other self. But she's there. And we're reminded she's there at the beginning and end of the episode. And when Charlotte wakes from the dream, she's concerned that Sorscha "doesn't care".

Now, if I weren't so invested in this, I would probably count this as disproving everything I've just said. But then I remembered something Winter said recently (What in GODS name does that mean.. uploaded on September 2nd 2024). Sorscha was envious at how Charlotte has been talking more about her relationship with Mia, who she only started dating this year, than Sorscha has been able to talk about Clodagh, who she's been married to for ages. This connection turns what Sorscha said when Charlotte woke in the alternate universe, "tell someone who cares", around into Sorscha's own insecurities that no one wants to hear what she has to say if they also have something to say on it. She feels talked over. Which, like, same. Me too, queen.

Looking at everything we've learned about these characters from that point to the present, they were never out of character. It was an exaggeration of their worst traits. Really, their core characters. The flaws that plague them.

And if that was intentional, fantastic. Amazing. 10/10. I'm speechless. I love a long-haul payoff. And if it wasn't, that's so cool that things turned out that way!

I understand I am probably way overthinking this. Not everything needs to be this deep. But, just because it doesn't have to be, doesn't mean it's not incredibly cool that it turned out to be anyway.

I probably won't do an analysis like this for the Freaky Friday episodes. This episode just always felt kinda out of place and like it was trying to be something, I just could never figure out what that something was. Now that I feel like I've connected the dots, I'm satisfied.

[tleeaves]

The Fictional Crush Line-Up For 2023 and Beyond

Was going to do this sooner (as in a review on the year based on the new or resurfaced interests I picked up, with aforementioned fictional crushes along the way), but I wanted to collect art for them all too and then I also had to try and remember them all. But here we are. If I'm missing any, I'll either have to edit and or reblog to include them.

See if you can spot any common threads (it may get trickier as the list goes on, just be warned). This goes almost in chronological order. But order does not in any way reflect my level of brainrot and obsession with each.

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE FRAGILE THREADS OF POWER, BALDUR'S GATE III, AND ARCANE: LEAGUE OF LEGENDS (SPECIFICALLY REGARDING VIKTOR).

Consider yourself warned.

Victor Vale (Vicious by V.E. Schwab)

Victor and his revenge story are kind of responsible for kick-starting my journey of self-rediscovery these past twelve months, in a strange and roundabout way. He made me want to stick up for myself and what I wanted out of life. Sure, he's extremely morally grey in a concerning way, and yeah, we don't normally encourage revenge, but I found him a comfort at a difficult time. But also, I could totally fix him (no one can and it's no one's responsibility, yet the sentiment is still there). I'm not usually one for blonds (I am a liar) but his cold aesthetic is oddly pleasing. There's nothing I understand more than an awe that rots into resentment and envy while maintaining the same thread of fascination with someone. "Victor Vale was not a fucking sidekick" is just a, mwah, chef's kiss line. Honestly, I have less of a crush on this guy, more of an understanding that I appreciate. Also, I haven't even mentioned the chronic pain implications and canon uses of his powers. But that might be for another time.

Viktor (Arcane: League of Legends)

Another Viktor with chronic illness themes and whose (in LoL lore) regard for a partner in science goes sour over time as they pursue different objectives (not seen in the Netflix series yet, of course, it's too early for glorious evolution). This guy always comes back to rot in my brain, and I cannot wait for season 2 later this year to see what comes of his arc. I'm planning a fanfic involving him, Jayce, and maybe/sort of Jinx, based on a dream I had months ago but still have swirling in the soup that is my consciousness. There is something so pretty about this guy. If I was more confident in my sketching abilities, he'd end up being my muse way too often. Viktor's character to me is kind of a tragedy personified, and I love a good tragedy. Oh, and his voice actor?? Amazing. There's some debate over how authentic he sounds to Eastern Europeans, but the accent aside still, he sounds sooo good. I want to sit in on a lecture where he speaks about literally anything for two hours.

Kell Maresh (A Darker Shade of Magic; The Fragile Threads of Power by V.E. Schwab)

Usually, I don't talk about Kell because of how silly I feel like my crush on him is. I identify with Delilah "Lila" Bard throughout ADSOM and even Threads, so I hate further mentioning how much I actually think about Kell because I'd have to fist fight anyone who said I only relate to her because of Kell when that's not the truth. And yet, there's still enough differences between Lila and I for me to be like "if I had to pick a woman in the Schwabverse..." But also, MAYBE I JUST THINK KELL IS GORGEOUS, OKAY? 🫣 Maybe I like that he starts as a somewhat naive prince who's had things both easy and rough in life (wanting to be loved by the only family you know and not feel like you're only there to protect your adoptive brother whom your parents tried to tell you both was not actually your brother and you should stop treating each other as such is VALID, argue with the wall, also he's the bodyguard and eternal worrier (yes, worrying) for Rhy and he's taken lives way too young). Maybe I like that he fell first and fell hard for Lila (okay, but if we're getting into the nitty-gritty, she did flirt with him first multiple times, but she would never admit to actual feelings), that he's the male love interest without reservations for once, leaving it up to Lila and whether she's open to love for once in a story. And yeah, okay, maybe I like that he's actually some kind of a prince charming, the sort you always secretly dream about, you know? Shut up. I like his stupid magic coat too. He's clever, but occasionally actually unbelievably dumb, he's funny and witty yet he knows when to keep his mouth shut (and is usually the one hauling others out of a scrap because of their own smart mouths), he cares too much about his family, AND DID I MENTION HE ALSO HAS CHRONIC ILLNESS THEMES THAT BROKE MY DAMN CHRONICALLY ILL AND IN PAIN HEART? I've said too much already, but there. He's a guy.

Miguel O'Hara (Spider-Man: Across The SpiderVerse)

This is the one my sister teases me most about because she doesn't get it. To be honest with you all, even I don't know how to explain it. But this guy. Miguel. There is something about him that I just abdkjdjsdv, you know? Is it the tragedy? The moral greyness? The fangs? His insane height? Just his fanon self? The fucking muscles?? I don't know. But I will defend how interesting he is as an antagonist until the cows come home.

Elliott (Stardew Valley)

Oh... boy. Sometimes, I realise I have a type. It's pretty guys who are hopeless romantics that write novels and poetry. Maybe it's just this one guy. But wow, it works on me. I'm writing a fanfic about him because I need to. There's only 400-odd words to it so far. It was not long after I met him in the game that I decided I had to wife him up. I planted that pomegranate tree early, because it's his favourite fruit for those who don't know, and he loves receiving them as a gift. I got ducks so I could give him their stray feathers. I learned how and when to find lobsters and catch crabs because he loves those too. If I'm out of gifts, I go get a coffee for him because every writer needs their sustenance. Literally, by Spring of Year 2, we were married, and I wondered if perhaps I might have been a little too single-mindedly pursuing every one of those cut scenes when I should have been taking it a bit slower and making it less of a mission. Don't know what to tell you, I went crazy. I fully believe in the headcanon that he gets up early just to go through his haircare routine. Is he pretentious? Maybe. Does he lay it on a little too thick that he's scared of dying alone? Well, okay, yes. Does it bother me that as a househusband he doesn't help out more on the farm? Occasionally. But there's also no one else I'd rather be with (and I developed a sprinkler system specifically so there was less work for me anyway and so now I don't mind at all when he isn't helping). And I can't believe my sister ever introduced me to Stardew Valley because I am now mentally ill about a videogame character made of pixels. Yes, I make wine just for him too. Hush. I spoil him daily now that we're married. Our first child is a son named Ernest. I was debating between Ernest and Edgar, and honestly, I think I should have gone with the latter, but I chose the former. All the dialogue from Elliott is so frickin' cute.

Astarion Ancunín (Baldur's Gate III)

And do you know what the worst part about this one is? I still haven't actually played Baldur's Gate III. I know, I KNOW. A crime. I'm working on it. But you best believe I've watched every cutscene I can, every scrap of gameplay dialogue, all the choices, the different endings you can get with him (Ascended breaks my heart every time -- I don't care how hot he is, it's not what he would have wanted, he doesn't love you like he used to anymore, and he's not as happy as he could be), and I've listened to all the interviews with Neil Newbon and the writer for Astarion about him. This fruity traumatised vampire haunts me. I want to hold him gently and caress his face and tell him he's beautiful and what he looks like to me since he hasn't seen his reflection in centuries and I want to make sure he knows he's loved. I want him to bite me and drink my blood too, but that's not as important. Does it weird me out how much he reminds me of Prince Charming from the Shrek franchise and Preminger from Barbie: The Princess and the Pauper and then aesthetically Asra from The Arcana: A Mystic Romance? Yes. But Astarion's also his own character and I'm in love with his smile and goofy lines.

Settrigh "Sett" (Heartsteel; League of Legends)

This... might be the lowest point, actually 💀 My sister would agree. Because it's not enough to crush on book characters, show characters, and videogame characters -- while technically this guy is a videogame character and was part of League of Legends waaay before the music video, it was the PARANOIA music video that got me. So, even fictional characters made/involved in music videos are not safe from my heart. Because, as I understand it, OG Sett is a bit different from Heartsteel Sett, and I've found I usually prefer reading about the interpretation of the latter in fanfic more than the former. I mean, I still really, really enjoy fanfics where he's The Big Boss of the pits, and or his other background/lore is included, but I've read some where his old personality is a bit Yikes. The golden retriever energy is my favourite era of his if we can call it that (I still headcanon him as a part fox Vastayan, you can't convince me otherwise so go argue with someone else about it, not me). And honestly, I think I might have read more fics involving Sett in 2023 than I did any of the other characters on this list. Which is saying something since he's not as popular as a few of them. He's a pretty guy and I wish to bite him. Lovingly.

Mizu (Blue Eye Samurai)

Oh woman. Mizu is... is... she's basically my wife. I know she's all our wife, but like just let me dream a little here. As soon as I finished the series, I was opening up Tumblr, Pinterest, and AO3, my holy trinity of fandom. My platonic wife was sending me TikToks of our shared fictional wife. Mizu can wind up non-binary, male, female, I honestly do not mind because I am in love with any version she is/becomes (for now, I interpret her as a woman in disguise, but if that changes, I'll absolutely change how I refer to Mizu). She is a tragedy wrapped up in revenge because of a rotten love and unfortunate parentage and time period. I want her as much as I want to be her. Also? I go insane over her little smiles and smirks. I LOVE when we got to hear her laugh, even if it was mostly the flashbacks (do not mention Mikio near me; if he wasn't already dead, I would kill him). Also, who doesn't hate their British/white half, ahaha, oh my god, I know mixed ethnicity is a hot topic for people who do not want POC whitewashed in media, and I fully understand that, but I do appreciate seeing parts of myself in mixed characters like the conflict between trying to be more like one side than another. I'll also admit it: she does indeed look hot covered in blood and carrying a sword. I'll see myself out the door. I've been wanting to write a fanfic about her but I'm still stewing over ideas. Mizu is also probably my first truly major crush on a fictional woman (other than my childhood crush on Helga Sinclair from Atlantis: The Lost Empire). Vi from Arcane comes pretty close, but I see too much of myself in her that it gets weird.

We'll do some honourable mentions for characters from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim since I've gotten into that again.

Brynjolf, Hadvar, and Nazir, I wish I could mod my gameplay so I could marry you. The developers hated their men-loving gamers (I know the women-lovers complain about Serana, but she will never be as heartbreaking as Brynjolf, I don't care if she recognises proposals only to decline them). I mean, Brynjolf is the Tamriel equivalent of Scottish, he calls you "lass/lad", has got a smoothass voice, supports you through so much of the Thieves Guild questline, has a wicked sense of humour, and then when you finish the questline, it's all "sorry, lass. Got important things to do. We'll speak another time" 😭 You can't even recruit him as a follower. He says nothing when you wear an amulet of Mara. I play on a fucking PS4, I can't do mods to marry him or get more dialogue.

(By the way, on my most recent playthrough, Lydia died when I fought the troll on the seven thousand steps, and I am still mad about it. It used to be difficult for Lydia to die, that was why I brought her everywhere, and now I have to become Batman "I work alone". ESPECIALLY after Benor then died on the way up to Paarthurnax. I still can't believe that happened, I should have told him to stay behind and wait for my return.)

Also, every time I play, Derkeethus is so bugged, I can't even rescue him let alone marry the guy, which was disappointing because he seemed nice.

Argis the Bulwark, Vilkas, Farkas, Rayya, Aela the Huntress, and Marcurio, you are all marriageable and live in my heart always. Marcurio was the first I ever married, I think. Three guesses why I chose him (it's the sarcasm, wisecracks, and general sense of humour) (maybe the long hair too). Has anyone noticed how there doesn't seem to be marriageable options among the Khajiit characters?? Why do you think that is? I just checked the Skyrim marriage wiki and this is what it has to say in the trivia: 'There are no Khajiit spouses, however; since the majority of Khajiit in Skyrim are traders or travelers from Elsweyr, they probably have families back home. Additionally, Khajiit characters talk about home a lot, stating how much they miss it and how cold Skyrim is; thus, they probably do not want to marry and settle down in Skyrim.'

Heart-breaking. Oh well.

And that's the end of the line-up. If you read through this, Divines bless your goddamn soul. Psycho-analyse me based on them, I dare you. Or just judge me. I'd like to see either. And if you can find something in common about them all (you don't need to consider the honourable Skyrim mentions), please let me know, because I am personally at a loss.

[crystal-pvp]

Do you think there's a difference between the effects of Lesser Divinity and the weapon Lux used to ULTRAKILL Diansu Invictus? Because if so, I'd love to know what the difference between The Mason's death and "recycling" and Diansu's existence being repurposed.

(Also do you think it's possible the Vivaelysium/nanobots used for the Invictus Assembly could've interfered with the Charter? He did say they'd eat him alive if he ran out of power, after all-and I get the feeling that wasn't a throwaway line. (I'm not trying to insinuate he could still be alive, by the way: I've accepted Diansu is dead. just think the Nanobots eating the user when they're low on power could potentially have some... Interesting Side-effects on Charter. What do you think?))

That's a great question, and something I have been wondering myself. I don't think I'll be able to be confident in my opinion on that until we get to see Lux's POV of obtaining and using the Dusk Epitaph. We know what the Lesser Divinity is supposed to do, as it was explained in Winsweeps video and we see it be used firsthand. I would assume the Dusk Epitaph to just be an extremely powerful weapon Lux needed to acquire in order to have a chance of winning the fight, but due to the fact that Diansu did not immediately die when taken to 0 hearts, and instead was trapped in golden chains, leads me to believe the Dusk Epitaph to have some other purpose.

It could simply be that it is another permakill item and nothing more, but the fact that this chain stasis effect did not happen to anyone killed with the Lesser Divinity, I don't want to assume that they have exactly the same purpose and/or effect.

Interestingly, the way Diansu dies is more (visually) similar to the Masons death than the deaths of Void and Zombie to the Lesser Divinity. I don't have much to say about this observation, but unless Diansu has, unbeknownst to us, previously dealt with the Seven, I see no easy answer as to why they bare such a resemblance.

If I had to guess I would at least say that the two weapons are similar. They did (presumably) come from the same source, after all. Both weapons also create similar light beam effects when used, but that could very well just be due to the tools used to make the mods, as well as wanting all the charter items to keep a similar vibe/color scheme.

Additionally, the death messages from the 2 items are not exactly the same, so this could also be evidence that they cause different effects upon use.

Dusk Epitaph death message:

Lesser Divinity death message:

Regardless of the intended effects of each weapon, what happened to the Mason after death was not related to the weapon which killed him. I don't think we can really compare those two instances, as the Masons fate was (I believe) due to his dealings with the Seven, not the weapon used to kill him.

(Quick sidenote, but I am so sure that the Soulcleave Glaive (the Masons weapon) causes the same death message as the Dusk Epitaph, but I cannot for the life of me find an instance of the message in any videos, and am too lazy to go re-download Mason Decor to find out for myself. However, if I am remembering correctly, I feel it is a noteworthy observation to include.)

As for the question about the nanobots, I'm assuming by "charter" you mean items from the Charter mod like the Dusk Epitaph. But if not, sorry mb </3

Personally, I don't think the nanobots would have any more effect than the fact that Diansu is literally just a robot. I don't know how distinct the divide between a machine and a living being with a "soul" is, or what that would mean for things like permakilling etc etc.

I wish I had more to say on this part, but I am quite literally just the Mason guy. I unfortunately struggle to remember much of any other lore, the only thing letting me retain so much information about the Mason is my pinboard that I can look back on, and a touch of autism-fueled obsession.

[espritradieux]

Today I took my first real step towards mending my relationship to Genshin Impact by finally overcoming the dumbest obstacle ever that left such a disproportionate emotional scar on me.

Back when I was playing genshin for the first time I had been actively playing the game since 1.2 and I was playing on a pretty crappy laptop (which I still use for most things including hi3) and it didn't have a lot of storage. I was young when I started. I was still a minor and still working to construct myself and still immature and emotional and school was kicking my ass. Overall, not a great life stage to be in.

Then about three years ago, the first We Will be Reunited archon quest was released and I got blocked on the stupidest, most basic level design element ever, something so unbelievably minuscule and insignificant probably no one remembers it: the disappearing bubble hallway.

I failed this thing over and over. Admittedly I was terrible at the game (and still am), and I kept failing and falling and barely making it before falling again. So I rage quit, as one does. By the time I got back to the game, 2.0 was released. And updates started pilling while I wasn't playing. And eventually my storage was saturated and I couldn't open the game anymore.

When I tell you that hallway left a scar on me I am not joking. To me it was the reason I couldn't play the game anymore. For years, the first thing I would think about when thinking about genshin was those damned bubble stairs. It is almost single handedly responsible for me being a genshin hater for so long. I tentatively attempted to come back to the game when Sumeru was fully released since I now had a good phone which could run the game much better than my laptop and I was terrified. The game was scary and overwhelming, I couldn't remember how to fight which I had never been good at anyway and I was haunted by the knowledge of failing the most basic things which killed all sense of adventure and confidence I could have had. I was miserable.

All of that coupled with the memories I had of the game being monstrously taxing and feeling like it was sucking the soul out of me, I became a hater. Mostly harmlessly though, the bulk of it was gently prodding at my friends and being petty about the game mechanisms being so time consuming and the rewards being so bad, but still the fact remains that I was essentially anti genshin, denying every connection I may have had to it and verbally tearing it down every time I could. I did not like the game.

But then a year ago, as I was studying for a final, I discovered Honkai Star Rail. I was wary of Hoyoverse but still I gave it a try.

And HSR was amazing. HSR was magical. HSR made me feel happy and welcome, it felt homey and kind and wonderful and it was written so well. The music was fantastic, the story was fantastic, the fighting was great, the content was interesting, the game didn't feel like a drag, it was incredible. And through HSR I then discovered Honkai Impact 3rd. And HI3 was insane. Hi3 took my brain hostage and rewrote it, it made me feel things I'd never felt before in a game.

Together the Honkai games opened the hyperfixation floodgate in my mind, it made me live through things and feel things I had never felt before, in a single year it fundamentally changed my life.

So I went back to genshin. Not to the game itself though, just the story. I watched other people's playthroughs to get caught up on the main archon quests. And going past the urge to say "I could fix this", I liked the story. But I liked the characters more. Enter the EiMiko hyperfixation. That very specific ship probably did more for me than anything else when it comes to fandom and is honestly probably 50% of the reason I'm back to the fandom now. EiMiko did two things for me: first it gave me angsty lesbians to obsess over and lore to dissect. Second, more recently and somewhat derivative of the first, it allowed me to meet @heemskerck .

I never had anyone who I could talk about those games with, someone who understood and had thoughts of their own about it. I think we probably all know how it feels, to be overcome with the desire to theory dump but having no one to do it with. ( @nobodynotbymitski I appreciate you so much thank you for listening to my rambling when you didn't understand a single word of it)

But now I did have someone to talk about it. So we talked about it and it was great (and it still is, I love talking with them they're so amazing and smart and talented, go follow them) and I did my usual thing of criticizing genshin as much as I could and being a hater but now it was different because now not only was I swayed by the angsty lesbians, I was listening to someone who did play appreciate the game (even if there's a lot to fix).

And when you listen to someone talk about something they're deeply interested in, you start to become interested as well. So despite my still existing dislike of the game, I was interested in going back to it to live through the story myself. The only thing really standing in my way was my dread of the combat system which would be terrible since I was coming back to a level 3 world with essentially the amount of combat experience as a new player, but I refused to start over because there is one thing I did care about on that account. My account is horrible mind you, I had four 5* and three of them were the Traveler, Kequing and Diluc. But the fourth is my beloved Ganyu. My lv 40, unbuilt, miserable Ganyu on a Favonius bow that I got on her first ever rerun who has emotional meaning to me. I still have a picture of my laptop screen when I got her, she is my pride and joy, the only thing worth saving in this game and I was not going to abandon her.

@heemskerck was really kind and agreed to log onto my essentially no pulls dead account to assess the damage and help me level up, give me pointers and even maybe play for me through the story because I was certain I wouldn't be able to run it on my phone and my laptop would certainly not cut it. And that was that.

Except that wasn't because then a month ago the Ignition trailer dropped and my Himeko obsessed self saw Mavuika and immediately imploded. Natlan had me hooked. And then I realized I could actually run Genshin on my phone. And then the 5.0 program arrived with massive quality of life updates that would greatly reduce the problems that I experienced when I was playing. I was still fearful of the fighting though and most of all I was terrified of having to go through the bubble stairs and then the rest of the story but 5.0 also fixed that for me. So two to three weeks before Natlan released, I warily installed the game and got to walk around the map again, feeling like a baby deer in a forest full of wolves.

But then yesterday, Natlan released. And Natlan is amazing. Natlan is fun. Natlan is interesting. Natlan doesn't feel like a drag or a mine field, Natlan brought back the feeling of adventure and discovery. Natlan helped me relearn combat (even though I'm still so bad at it and most of it is pure panic) and it gave me confidence.

So today, once I was done with Natlan, I went back. I went back to We Will be Reunited which, ironically enough, was waiting to be reunited with me.

I went back to this god forsaken bubble stairs three years later.

And I failed.

But then I tried again.

And I succeeded.

Three years. Three years of remembering this fucking hallway with dread. Three years of hating on a game everyone else shoved in my face. Three years away from Teyvat but finally I did it.

I am free

I can enjoy the game now.

This is the first step back towards a game that used to be my world, that became my nightmare, that led me toward games that changed my life and people I am so glad I met and maybe, hopefully, towards a great game that could make me feel as many things as the other two did.

There is no moral to this, I just wanted to tell my weird genshin storytime. Now that I'm older it probably made playing easier honestly. Genshin isn't perfect though. It still has a lot of flaws, I still don't like its combat system and once I'm caught up on the story and back to farming artefacts and items I will probably still think the game sucks and I'll probably be angry at the gacha system but I think I'm much more emotionally equiped for it now than I was three years ago. Three years is a lot for a kid and it teaches you a lot.

I'm getting genuinely excited about this now, I'm gonna go finish the quest.

[casperghoost]

A rant about my experience growing up Catholic ft. Ghost

Tw: mention of depression and suicide

Man, I want to rant about ghost and explain the entirety of the ghost lore to my mom so badly, but considering that basically everything they sing about is worshipping Satan it’s probably not a good idea lol. Like my parents are too religious and I think I’m already on thin ice… next thing I know they’re gonna drag me back to church with them for the first time in 3 years

I certainly don’t have anything against Christians and I send love to all the ghesties who happen to be religious, but when i used to go to church I did not feel welcome there especially in my teenage years. I live in the type of town that’s full of xenophobic conservatives so after I wanted to start expressing myself as a queer non-binary person, I got so many weird looks every time I went out especially going to church and/or seeing people my parents were friends with.

Throughout all my childhood I went to Sunday school and I never actually wanted to be there. I don’t even remember most of the stuff they taught us, but I remember hearing a bunch of stuff that scared me into following Catholicism (ex. We learned about heaven and hell in like 2nd grade and I was scared shitless that if I didn’t “repent” and do x y and z for the rest of my life I would be stuck in hell for eternity).

So by the time I was 12-13, I started to question everything about the Catholic Church. This was also a time that my mental health was rapidly declining so I hated having to get up at 8am every Sunday (considering school this meant I only got an adequate amount of sleep 6 days a week) to spend an hour worshiping a god I barely believed in anymore. I tried praying for my life to get better so I didn’t have to suffer through depression suicidal thoughts anymore but nothing changed. It only got worse until I hit rock bottom at the age of 14 and I was hospitalized and that started a long and rough journey through recovery.

(Note: religion was not the core reason for my struggles with mental health, but it played a part in it)

Since then, I never returned and I think my parents understand why. In the past year or so, I’ve gotten interested in Satanism and the way it embraces freedom, self-empowerment, and justice. I sorta love listening to ghost and other satanic/ occult-related songs and artists because it makes me feel good about myself. I, like many others, find it liberating to embrace a sort of darker and less traditional style to life.

This started as a silly little post sharing my thoughts about how being obsessed with ghost and satanic stuff could get me in a lot of trouble with the environment I live in, but I love rambling sometimes. This is one of the first times I’ve shared something so personal on tumblr XD …I may of may not delete this later tbh.

I’d be surprised if anyone actually read all this, but if you did, thanks for listening :)

[dharmafox]

Some late-night, post-three cups of sake thoughts on how I'm processing the new Mononoke background:

In a way, I'm actually more comfortable with the new Medicine Seller now. Because he always felt just a teeny bit "off" to me from the first trailer. I decided to attribute it to his possibly being a younger version, so knowing that he's actually a different version isn't that much of a shift. It is a shift, but easier to accept than if I had expected the new Medicine Seller to be exactly the same guy.

I don't like knowing stuff about their background. I'm not sure why exactly. It just kind of overlays some rigidity on stuff that we were free to interpret as we chose before. It's not because I can't theorize anymore, because I obviously can, and obviously so can anyone else who wants to. It's not even because it contradicts my pet theories, because I still see them as compatible with the new information. It's just the rigidity of knowing, and the difficulty of making the adjustment from not knowing.

In the auto-subs in the video, Nakamura-san said that he thought viewers would find it "boring" not to know. Bro, who told you that? The fandom hasn't been bored in 17 years. If we had, you wouldn't have been able to make a movie. You gave people over a decade to develop their own relationships with your work and then came in and interfered with those relationships. Like. Dude.

But I keep thinking... maybe we're obsessing about this a bit too much. The information we were given is all based on spiritual metaphor. It doesn't really tell us anything about the Medicine Seller other than the specific Taoist basis of the power he uses, and why it means there can be others like him. Nothing about the character or stories we've seen has changed except that we're aware of the influence of this particular metaphor.

Which is annoying. Because we never asked to know. But once I started looking into the concept it was actually fascinating. And if I had dug up all this information myself and arrived at this idea as a theory, I would think it was incredibly cool. So it really is just the rigidity of knowing that's irritating.

In the end, after the theorizing engine has slowed down, I'm going to watch Mononoke again, not to reinterpret it but to remember the real reason why I love it, which has nothing to do with backstory or lore.

[doctorghoti]

Reincarnation: ADDO Remaster

My favorite game series ever just had a remaster, and because I’m utterly obsessed and have too many thoughts on things, I figured I might as well write a more formal post. I’ll put under a read more so I don’t clog your feed, but TL;DR: I love it but you should play the old one first.

Gameplay

Okay, let’s start with what everyone actually cares about. This version of ADDO uses the inventory system that most of the other games do, unlike the first game that relied on clicking things in the exact right order. Honestly, this is a much better approach. It allows for different interactions (observe, use, talk) and fits better with the other games and with the controls in TROAE (TROAE is still unreleased for anyone outside of the Kickstarter, but it uses the same wheel system), so it serves as a nice transition for whenever that game gets released. The different angles for some of the rooms serve as both an extra challenge, such as the mouse hole living room puzzle (sorry for spoilers for a game that came out in 2008 btw), and to make things a little clearer, such as the picture puzzle in the upstairs hallway and the bedroom/bathroom. There’s also a tutorial at the very beginning of the game, so there’s not as much guesswork as the first game. This also helps establish Luke’s relationship with the demons more clearly than him just talking at the player like in the old introduction. Though speaking of…

Lore

Okay, so, the remaster does address how people go to Hell, how they can escape via reincarnation, and how demons go after them, plus Vile does give lines to indicate that the death needs to look accidental. However, I think a key part is missing, mainly that they don’t explain the urgency. In the old game, Luke tells the player directly that if enough souls reincarnate and get to Heaven, God will shut down all of Hell. To me, that provides more incentive for why Luke works the demons so hard. “But doc,” you say, “that’s not necessary. He’s the devil, he can be a dick to his demons.” True, but as a player, that one piece of information adds stakes. And it’s also very important for the eventual TROAE release since that’s a major part of what sets off the events of the story. Is it world-ending that that wasn’t included? No. Honestly, this game is advertised for established fans, so they should be familiar with that premise already if they remember the story. But for those who need a refresher or those who are new…

Personal Recommendation

I say play the first ADDO, well, first. It’s from 2008, so it will show its age, but I think it’s important for both the history of the game and for some additional story context. If you play ADDO Remastered right afterwards, it’ll be a wonderful compare and contrast, and it will actually make the puzzles in the new one a little easier in some areas. You’ll also get some fun little inside jokes. Of course if you REALLY want to get into all the games and see them develop from point A to B without a sudden jump, all the games are complied into one playlist on the Newgrounds website. Again, some of them haven’t aged well (looking at you ITNOE), but it’ll help you get more of a love for Vile and see how Hell works. If anyone wants a more narrowed down list, let me know, but I still say it’s best to experience all of them.

If you’ve made it this far, cool. Here’s some out of context fun points to try:

-Talk to the Newton’s cradle as your tutorial interaction. Luke has the same response no matter what, but this version of the interaction is the funniest to me

-Investigate the rug and button in the tutorial area with observe and use

-Talk to all the animals. All of them

That ends my ramblings for now, but I’m sure I’ll think of at least twenty other things to say after I post this.

[zeroaccord]

ANALYZING A SONG (Sakuran) AND HOW IT WORKS REALLY WELL FOR SHERATAN, ANSHI, AND MIRA

Sheratan is not owned by me but is made by @voruna-warframe. regardless, she's still important to anshi's and mira's story by being her partner and the main reason why the events happen in the story.

Lore info for sheratan:

"For what I have for her, she's stuck in a time loop (I made this based on what I thought what Duviri's spirals were when they announced how Duviri works) and she's aware of all the deaths and whatever else she's been through, I was thinking it could be linked to something about Eternalism. Since her exposure to the void, she has more animalistic features. She has beast-esque hands/forearms due to using her void powers the scars spread kinda like how it does on the Zariman, and the void also spread from whatever injuries she got from the void jump. The horns and pointed ears are also from the void, but I haven't really come up with a reason why yet asides from "lol void shenanigans""

With this in mind, I want to add a little context regarding her character before I talk about the song.

Sheratan's timeloops begin and end with death, so upon her dying it all resets. Sheratan uses this to advantage to find a good timeline where she's happy, the people she loves is happy, and she doesn't have to worry about fighting. The only issue is with this, is how years and years of yearning took that naive hope of happiness and turned it into a desperate obsession just to be with her partners. (think homura from Madoka Magica) She's quick to turn to self-destructive habits the moment a timeline fails for a while before hopping again.

With that being said....

THE SONG

HEAVY TW for mentions of death, obsession, manipulation, substance abuse, and coping with loss. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Info under the cut!

"I clutch my past with a patient gaze To protect mythical stories of lies"

Sheratan keeping to herself to prevent people from knowing what happened to her; she does not want people forming parasocial connections with her as some mythical hero.

"So distressing, Your voice has become so alien" "I want to mute it so badly"

Sheratan being unable to deal with having to slow burn the relationship with her anshi and Mira. They can't remember the last timeline they were in, So she can't act on what she's thinking, unlike past timelines that are further down the line.

"Listening closely for that fleeting sound" "A ghastly nightmare to curse my enemies"

could be Sheratan remembering mira's voice while fighting (aka, her singing or "fleeting sound") or it could be grieving mira, thinking about her voice and her grief is so strong it's 'a ghastly nightmare to curse her enemies'

"Those deceitful words will be devoted somewhere else"

A failed timeline where anshi/mira has left, meaning their words of love would be 'devoted somewhere else'

"No wonder there is no trace, For it has never existed"

Timeline hopping makes things restart to when Sheratan first wakes up from Lua. When she saves anshi and mira, she has to restart her relationship with them. Their time together 'has never existed'

"The night is audience to my tale" "And I long for tranquility in my dreams"

Failed or fresh timeline, Sheratan resorting to self-destructive ways to cope with her losses, causing her to stay out more at night and gamble @ the index or drink. She's dreaming of a timeline where she can finally be free from her curse and be with her family. Ideally, She does not want to fight anyone anymore.

""Today" that kindly chose to visit me," "Please don't go yet"

Sheratan is a. not literally talking about a day, but one of her partners that she was able to get back in that timeline. She's begging for them not to leave her alone. Or b. She's relishing in a timeline where it's the most ideal, She's finally with them and it's been a little bit. Maybe out of the blue, that little nagging feeling of being alone again bites at her.

"Torn away from my future"

Being forced to kill herself/her dying and resetting/etc in a good timeline

"Compromised with the harshened love"

Scared and afraid of her partners leaving her, after her attempts of making them stay only drives them away. She would likely resort to more upsetting ways to make them stay, even if it means hurting them in some way. These timelines most of the time always end in sheratan killing herself out of guilt for that timelines anshi/mira.

"I tremble in awe of immutable time"

What it says on the tin. Even if she can timeline hop via killing herself - she still is afraid of time.

"The dawn precedes the day, Without heed for my sigh"

Her general tiredness of having to loop. She just wants a timeline where her family can be safe without her having to manipulate things.

"Just like a lukewarm juice" "I resist that bland warmth"

She refuses to give up, even if it'd be the most healthy thing she could ever do for herself and for them. She refuses to even think about them without her in the image - so much as shutting down anyone - including her partners that reject to her timeline hopping.

"Before I knew, It became stagnant under the sun"

Sheratan feeling justified in timeline hopping by small things that ultimately don't mean anything. Feeling that stopping now would make her efforts for nothing, even if it's impossible to find a timeline where her family and herself can be happy.

"Vivid scenes fade into distant memories"

Happy memories she's across timelines start to fade until they're all gone.

"I can't muster a smile facing that thrilling night"

(note: a more accurate translation would be "I just can't laugh, I tremble in the night")

She's physically unable to really smile from her face having years and years of damage on it. But what makes her unable to actually smile? The sheer amount of pain in her heart at all times.

(regarding the more accurate translation - the part with "I tremble in the night" would just be about her serious, deep depression about every single thing. Every mistake in every timeline causes her to squirm in her bed.)

"Though I still drag my lethargy behind myself"

Forcing herself to continue despite her pain. She's tired and breaks down at almost everything, forcing herself under a 'I have to do this even if i can't take it anymore' mindset

"The 'today' that granted me mercy, I beg you," "Please don't abandon me"

Same point from the line ""Today" that kindly chose to visit me," "Please don't go yet""

She's talking about a person or an actual frame of time. With it being an actual person, She views their love for her as undeserving in good timelines. She's scared of them leaving her at any point of time, for any reason. She even goes as far as to get on her knees and while crying to beg them not to leave.

With the frame of time / day, She overthinks the amount of good and bad times she has. She thinks when she's having mostly good moments or bland ones as a kindness when she's able to be alone with them. Being able to be around them and love them is a 'kindness' for her pain. The thought of its kindness abandoning her scares her.

"Humming a soft and cunning tone"

Singing the song that mira sings to give herself comfort.

"With an identical look to a cold corpse"

She sucks at masking her pain's effect on her body overtime, neglecting herself to rush and get them home safe.

"I kick away that whole lot of discomfort so hard"

Again, she fails to mask her pain. She doesn't see herself as the same as her partners. Any shown sign that there is something wrong is replaced with a cold, fake reaction.

"'I'm not a handful' I laughed and I laughed mirthlessly"

With some of the same points above, she views her partners on another level. She can't believe them when they say she's not a handful. To her, She hates herself for what she does.

(These parts get kind of repeated. I'll still repeat them. Just refer to the above points)

(Repeated) "Torn away from my future" "Compromised with the hardened love" "I tremble in awe of immutable time"

"Ignoring my lament, the sight of dawn foresees another day"

This is two things

She's forcing herself to continue until she eventually dies and loops again in a doomed timeline. The sight of dawn foresees another day since even if she's killed herself before, she's still afraid of dying. There's still that voice in her head that tells her 'just stop here'

She still presses on looping. She ignores her 'lament' in her grief and forces herself to continue yearning for them even more.

[imracconboy]

¡Intro!

Hello there! Finally making an intro after a long time

٩( 'ω' )و

Gonna use colors cuz I love how it looks okay 🙄 /silly

My name in Julián and I am an artist! I am trans, bi and aroace. Also AuDHD :p

I am a minor!!! Punk and anarchist.

— Colombian 🇨🇴

I am a VEEERY big fan of Spider-Man, it’s been my hyperfixiation since about five years now. I also love Meadowlark and Yaelokre’s creations, I’ve been stuck ever since I dived deep into the lore. I’ve also been in LOVE with the podcast Sherlock & Co!

If you wanna check my art you can find it on my Instagram or my silly gallery (I have old and new works, some of them have dates some not so have that in mind!)

If ya are interesting in my music taste you can listen to my playlist, I have other multiple playlist on my profile; including Neera’s playlist :b

For the “basic” info:

- Favorite animal: Raccoon (cuz they’re literally me)

- Favorite color: RED

- Favorite movies/series: Spider-Man 2, atsv, tmnt mayhem, adventure time, Steven Universe (both series and movie), Good Omens, httyd

- Favorite bands/singers: Ska-p, Destroy boys, Yaelokre, El cuarteto de nos, ATARASHII GAKKO, NOAHFINNCE

- Favorite podcast: Sherlock & Co (OBSESSED)

- Favorite thing to wear : DIY or cut t-shirts

DNI if ur : racist, xenophobic, transphobic, homophobic, proshipper or u indulge in whatever activity that affects/harms other people mentally or/and physically and/or are weird towards minors/people in general. If you are someone that is weird towards groups such as furries or therians pls get out. I do not want anyone that only spills hate on people that do not deserve it on my account, thanks!

-🎸-

I am looking forward to meeting new people, maybe we can play DTI or do other activities together! Looking for art trades…. Maybe? 👀

Anyway that’s all for now cuz I can’t seem to remember other stuff I like! Thank you for reading!!

[thewhumpcaretaker]

Okay I'm getting a little too obsessed with the werewolf au with Santino and John HEHEU UMM

Now is my turn to ask you about it >:]

How do you see them as werewolves? Do you think one would turn another or you have something else in mind? And their appearance, behavior, maybe possible side effects, how would they comfort each other? Anything really :3

Aahhh cuties 😭🐾

Thank you for this ask!!

SO I have a ton of lore about this because of John's character sheet from the roleplay. A lot of this will overlap with RP John! But I have lots of new ideas too. They really are adorable together!! 💖💖💖

John's background as a werewolf would be similar to what I've done in the roleplay. He was turned at a very young age and raised as a living weapon at the Tarkovsky Theater, which is a training ground specifically for werewolves. They are taught to control their abilities and use them in assassinations. They are a secret weapon of the High Table.

My werewolves are very monstrous. They draw their power from the darkness behind the moon - the legend goes that when the moon is covering up the darkness, night emanates from the werewolves instead of from the sky. So they have a black fog that flows off of their bodies and creates fear and other very negative emotions in anyone that it touches. They are full wolves, but much larger than a regular wolf, and with weirdly long limbs and creepy glowing eyes. They can stand on their back legs, but they usually run on all fours.

John is a jet black werewolf with white eyes and very sleek fur. Santino is brown with glowing green eyes and curly fur around his neck (I really liked that from your ideas :3), and the darkness that surrounds him is more murky and smoky rather than a pure black like John's. And yes, he's also a bit smaller than John.

Changing into a werewolf can be voluntary or involuntary. When they do it on purpose, it isn't painful. But it happens against their will on the full moon, or when they become too enraged to control themselves, and when that's the case, it feels like every muscle is being torn apart. They're screaming from pain and very sore afterwards.

Okay, with the lore out of the way, the story between the two of them:

John doesn't like being a werewolf - it's something that the High Table uses to control him. So he doesn't want Santino to have to go through that. But he changes Santino to save his life. He was severely injured and John bit him because werewolves heal faster than humans. (It'd have to be an injury that kills you slowly, because the first change takes about a day. So I imagine they had both been kidnapped and held for ransom, and Santino was dying of an infection in a stab wound.)

This has a major effect on who Santino is as a person, because it forces him to work through his trauma. To me, being a werewolf is all about having uncontrollable outbursts of anger and fear. And learning to control when you change, learning to change back into a human, thinking clearly and remembering who you are when you're in wolf form...all of that comes from managing your emotions. So John has to show Santino the techniques he learned at the Tarkovsky for managing anger, dealing with panic attacks, meditating, etc.

They're also the only two people who aren't bothered by each other's darkness. No one else can touch them or pet them when they're in wolf form because of that terrifying fog that surrounds them. John has never been petted before he meets Santino </3 But they don't scare each other, so they can nuzzle against each other and give each other comfort.

At the end of their story, once they're happy husbands, Santino has a more positive outlet for all of that rage, too, because he has learned how to enjoy being a werewolf. They go through the change together. They go on runs through the forest together every month and just yell about everything that's bothering them (aka howl at the moon) and tear things up and eat deer and playfight and act cute and freaky together and finally curl around each other, tired out, until they wake up naked in each other's arms in the soft morning sunlight. 💙🖤