#whiteknights

[wemhall]

Racist by any Name

The Ku Klux Klan, the New Loyal White Knights, the Patriot Front. There are lots of names for them, but they all fall under the general title of losers. Last week, some of these wack jobs visited both the Virginia countryside where we live and DC. They are cowardly racists, one and all, and only do their work at night, or behind a mask. Last week, neighbors near here in the Orlean and Hume area…

[leorobotsworld]

Ruby: *opens door* Hey Weiss, have you-

*She sees a sleeping Jaune hugging a fully awake Weiss*

Ruby: Trapped?

Weiss: Yes

Ruby: Need help?

Weiss: ..no

Ruby:

Weiss:

Ruby: Can I join?

Weiss: *blushing with her arms open* ..yes

Ruby: *dives into Weiss's arms* Yay

[arc-misadventures]

Who’s Who?

Neptune: Hey, Jaune?

Jaune: Yeah?

Sun: We’ve got a question for you!

Jaune: And, it is?

Sun: Of the girls in your life…

Neptune: Who do you think bets fits what position on this list?

Jaune: What list?

SN: This one.

Jaune: Oh… well from left to right it would be…

Jaune: Blake, Yang, Weiss, Pyrrha, Neo, and Bleiss.

Neptune: ...?

Sun: ...?

Jaune: But, if you want them to be a bunch of milfs…

Sun: Excuse me…?

Neptune: Milfs?!

Jaune: Then it would be… again, from left to right…

Jaune: Willow. Raven, Terra, Summer, Salem, and Kali.

Sun: …?!

Neptune: …?!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: What?

Neptune: You said that with such confidence, and so quickly ...

Jaune: Yeah?

Sun: Like you already knew they would be perfect for the role...

Neptune: But, not just those six ladies…

Sun: But, a bunch of milfs as well…

Jaune: …

Sun: Does that mean…?

Jaune: …

Neptune: All t-twelve of them…?!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: No comment.

SN: ...

SN: YOU ARE A GOD!

Jaune: No comment.

[azurerosses]

i've said it once and i'll say it again, people genuinely just hate lando bc he's not traditionally 'masculine'

like he's whiny instead of angry. he complains instead of being frustrated. when he's being cheeky/snarky, he gets called a brat instead of being seen as witty. when he's open about his struggles (mentally or physically), he's labeled as "not championship material."

the overwhelming negative response to him just existing is eerily similar to what it feels like to be a non-dude. and even in a lot of fandom spaces which are mostly occupied by non-dudes which so mindboggling to me

[rwac96]

Flexibility (WhiteKnight Shitpost)

Jaune: *eating chili fries* "Hey, Weiss, how flexible are ya this weekend?"

Weiss: *sultry* "Flexible, you say~?"

*Weiss lifts up her right leg, ballerina style; which made the swordsman's cheeks crimson*

Jaune: *red-faced* "A-Availability! How available are ya?!"

Weiss: *blinks* "Oh, one trip of Festivus Shopping, but I'm free overall."

Jaune: *quickly nods his head* "Okay, gotcha." *stays silent momentarily* "You can stop doing that now."

Weiss: "Only when you stop staring, Jaune~."

Jaune: *clears his throat* "Admittedly, you are flexible."

[juanarc-thethird]

Thank you... I guess?

Jaune: *Trying to act cute* How can a girl as pretty as you go out with an ugly guy like me?

Weiss: *Serious* You're hung

Jaune: Oh...

[zexapher]

I Wish Schnee a Merry Christmas

Of course, I wish thee a merry Christmas, too. Happy holidays, everyone! I thought I’d put together something new and festive to celebrate with you all, and I’m quite happy with how it turned out.

A nice, gripping story to pull at the heart strings; Weiss’s once cheerful home with Old Nick, the sad times with her family under Jacques, then finding a welcoming new home among her friends, and going on to build happy holiday memories with her new family. Of course, given a little more time, I think I’d have added a few moments of Klein and Winter sneaking a few gifts in during Weiss’s childhood. I definitely see them breaking Jacques’s rules a little to give Weiss a few more happy moments.

This is pretty much how I headcanon holiday celebrations for the Schnees. Nicholas was a big ol’ Santa Claus, Jacques doesn’t care about family celebrations and leaves it all to corporate events, and then a big welcoming friend’s party from the teams that Weiss isn’t used to, only for Weiss to then fully embrace it and be super into the holiday spirit and very involved with her new family’s celebrations.

As for editing, I had a good bit of fun recreating Jacques’s and Willow’s legs, adding in a reflection for them, and pulling all the color out of the Christmas tree to make it a very Schnee blue. Feels good to see the progress in my editing skills since I started brushing up on them last year. I can do a lot more and a lot faster now, this whole thing was just some on and off work over the past week. Like changing Zwei’s black fur to that rusty red-brown, that’s something quick and easy to do now, and looks good.

Anyway, happy holidays again, hope you enjoy the season and this edit as much as I do! It’s my present to all of you!

[superiorsturgeon]

Jamie: (Arkos son) Hey mom…? I’m picking up on some weird tension between you and grandma Arc…

Jessie: (Arkos daughter) Yeah! What’s her deal?

Pyrrha: *sits her kids down* Well…when your father and I first started dating, your father had just gotten over a crush on a woman your grandmother liked much better because she was a beautiful singer and from a much wealthier family…

Pyrrha: …and when your father married me, she was concerned my celebrity status would lead to problems with our family and it took her a long time to forgive me…

Pyrrha: But eventually she decided that your father’s happiness was worth it and we came to terms.

Jessie: Wait a minute…a singer from a rich family…does that mean Aunt Weiss?

Jamie: Was grandma upset because she was a Whiteknight shipper?

Jessie: And she decided that she ultimately just shipped dad with happiness?

Pyrrha: WHAT-

Pyrrha: HOW-

Pyrrha: WHO TAUGHT YOU THOSE WORDS?! 😫

[razorblade180]

Jaune: *dressed like an “I”*

Yang:That’s an interesting costume choice.

Weiss:*walks in dressed like a lamp*

Yang:….

Jaune:You okay?

Yang:Yeah I’m just little upset. Might have to rework my costume cause clearly her humor is evolving.

[razorblade180-heated]

Weiss:Yang I need you to be an incredible friend right now.

Yang:What body are we hiding?

Weiss:N-none.

Yang:….What’s your request?

Weiss:Please be somewhere else. I invited Jaune over.

Yang:But this is our dorm.

Weiss:Seriously? This is coming from the girl who constantly tells me “you’d be less cranky if you had a little fun.” My fun is on the way over and you won’t leave!?

Yang:I’m sore from our mission and the gym. I would like to lay down in my bed.

Weiss:Ugh, fine. You’re not getting any rest though. JNPR is going on a month long mission and I’m not holding back for you.

Yang:Pfft, yeah okay. If you were Blake I’d believe you, but if there’s one thing you’ll always have its decorum.

3 hours later

Blake:*walks in* Hey ev-

Jaune and Weiss:Zzzzz

Yang:*clutching pillow*….

Blake:Were you- why are you in here?

Yang:I thought she was bluffing.

Blake:And you’re still in here because!?

Yang: *red* I didn’t know what to do once it started.

[spahhzy]

Weiss first time playing games with her boyfriend Jaune.

The game was just a generic first-person shooter.

Weiss: Fine, I'll play these silly games with you... but only cause you have been very insistent and nothing more!

Jaune: Love you too, Weiss.

-

Weiss after maaaaaaaaaaany hours of playing video games with Jaune.

Weiss: Das ist ein Valean Spion! (This is an Vale spy!)

Jaune: whaaaaaat!?

Jaune learned a lot of Atlesian tongue thanks to Weiss.

Weiss, pointing her character to another teammate, who just so happens to be Yang playing in the other room.

Weiss: Excuse me, are you a Valean spy?

Yang: Nah nah nah

Weiss: You are here in the Atlas army?

Jaune: ist das Atleasian oder nicht? (Is that Atlasian or not? )

Weiss: Speak Atlesian!

Jaune: Ist das Atlesian oder nicht!? (Is that Atlasian or not)

Jaune points his character to Yang, gun in hand.

Jaune: Ich warte auf den Feuerbefehl! (I wait for the order to fire!)

Weiss: Jaune, exekutiere diesen Mann! (Jaune, execute this man!)

Jaune: ahhhhhhhhhh! *fires gun killing Yangs character*

*Friendly fire*

Weiss and Jaune high-five, and Yang just throws her controller out the window.

[wu-sisyphus-gang]

(at a drive in movie theater)

Weiss: I'm going to lean my head on Jaune's shoulder and no one is going to be weird about it.

Ruby: You can take his left side. I already am leaning on his right.

Jaune: Do I get a say in this?

R+W: No.

[leorobotsworld]

Weiss is studying at the library when she receives a message from Ruby

Weiss: *thinking* a video? what is this now?

She plays the video

In the video, Ruby is being hugged tightly by Jaune

Ruby: I'm trapped, I went in for a hug, and now he won't let me go

She's struggles to get free

Jaune: *muffled* No

She tries again

Jaune: *muffled* Nooo

Ruby: *laughing* Help me, Weiss

The video ends

Weiss: *whispering* ...dolts

She gets up and goes to Ruby's aid

*later*

Both Ruby and Weiss were being hugged by a sleepy Jaune

Weiss: ...

Ruby: *smiling*

Weiss: *blushing* it was a trap, wasn't it?

Ruby: *smiling* yep

[arc-misadventures]

Lost A Bet

Weiss: Oh gods...

Ruby: What's wrong, Weiss?

Weiss: Because I lost a bet with, Yang, I had to go on a... on a date...! A date with, Jaune to the carnival.

Ruby: And, how was it?

Weiss: It was ridiculous! All the flashing lights, the roller coasters, and the bloody cotton candy! It was horrible!

Ruby: If it was horrible, then why are you smiling so much?

Weiss: I-I'm not smiling at all!

Ruby: Really?

Weiss: Really it was horrible! He took me everywhere! All these food stands, and these rides. He took me to a haunted house, I jumped on him because I got so scared from the blasted place!

Ruby: You jumped on him?

Weiss: Then he took me to a Ferris wheel, where I had the majestic view of, Vale, blocked by his stupid handsome face!

Ruby: Handsome?

Weiss: Then, just before we left he won this stupid teddy bear at a prize stall, and he gave it to me! To me?!

Ruby: Yeah... it's a stupid teddy bear...?

Weiss: This was the worse date ever!

Ruby: ...

Blake: ...

Ruby: Uhh... Can you help me out here, Blake? Weiss is acting... weird...

Blake: She thought it was a great date.

Ruby: How can you tell?

Blake: She's being a Tusndere...

Weiss: Stupid sexy blond bastard...

Blake: A massive Tusndere...

Ruby: ...

Ruby: Yeah, I'd buy that.

[frederick2223]

Blake, checking her Tumblr page: Okay, this one says "Can you do a smut oneshot with the Rusted Knight and my OC who's his longtime friend and has ice powe—"..rs.... Blake: .... Blake, grabbing her guns and heading out her room: I'm gonna FUCKING SHOOT THE HORNY OUT OF YOU—

[reashot]

Why Do People Keep Saying Jaune Is A Daddy?

Ruby: *grumble* Can you believe the nerves of some people!

Weiss: What's wrong with her?

Blake: She saw a bunch of Milfs trying to get close to Jaune.

Yang: Oh? I thought she got PMS.

Ruby: How could tho-those hussies throw themselves to Jaune like that how shameless, how enviable.... I mean, those bitches be crazy y'all!

Weiss: You know Rubes. I don't get what you see in Jaune anyway?

Blake: Yeah, he's just a typical white cis-het male. Which according to my belief is that they're responsible for everything wrong with the world.

And the only way to remedy it is to reject all heterosexual relation and embrace radical lesbianism.

Yang: Okay... Anyway where's Vomit Boy?

Weiss: He's taking care of Adrian.

*opens door*

See Jaune and Adrian Sleeping together peacefully.

RWBY: .....

Ruby: Girls... Please get Adrian out of here.

Blake: Way ahead of you.

*gently picks Adrian up*

Weiss: So how are we going to do this?

Yang: We will take turns obviously.

Ruby: Good idea. Blake please lock the door.

*click*

Blake: Let me be first.

Yang: Said the radical lesbian.

RW: *giggles*

Blake: Oh go F yourself.

Jaune: *waking up*

Hey girls. What are all four of you doing here... Wait, where's Adrian?

Ruby: *crawl up to him*

Adrian is fine.

*kiss Jaune*

Jaune: Wait, why are you kissing me?

Yang: It's more fun to show you.

*all four starts undressing*

Jaune: Brothers preserve me...

In another universe.

Jess: My Jaune is about to become a baby daddy without his consent sense is tingling!

Baz: That's... Oddly specific?