spahhzy

[spahhzy]

Cinder: Where's Jaune?

Pyrrha: He got away...

Cinder: You mean to tell me that the most wanted man just happened to get away? What about the No-Nut-List?

Pyrrha: Forget the list...it's over.

Cinder looks at Emerald.

Cinder: I want every single woman after Jaune.

Emerald: E-everyone?

Cinder: EVERYONE!!

.

Jaune running through the streets of Vale after successfully beating No-Nut-November.

He rose through the ranks of very gorgeous women and managed to defeat all of their seductive attempts to have sex.

So then why? Why was he running? He was freed of the challenge, the champion? Shouldn't he accept the spoils of war.

Unfortunately, Destroy-Dick-December is here, and he's not sure he has strength, or aura to survive these ladies.

*briiiiiing*

Jaune opened up his scroll.

Cinder: Hey, hot shot. Hey, thanks for helping us out. We've been able to capture every 'no nut participant' thanks to you, now I'll take that into consideration if you give yourself up...to me~

[spahhzy]

Hiding (Not Really) From Them

Jaune cleave a Beowolf in half with a great sword that wasn’t a Croceo Mors. As the last Grimm evaporates, he let his eyes roamed a bit to search for any Grimm left in the area.

Jaune: Okay, that should be the last one of them. Now, I just need to back to the village to report the situation and grab my payment.

He sheathed his sword into the scabbard on his waist.

Jaune: I should wait for her to call me before I leave, today is Friday so it will be any second now.

Right on cue, his scroll began to rings, causing him to smiled brightly as he pick it up to reveal smiling Neo on the screen.

Jaune: Hello Neo!

Neo: *Waving*

Jaune: So, where are you now?

Neo: Atlas

She speaks thanks to the device on her neck that try to predict what she want to say into text-to-speak. It’s not perfect but it’s still good enough to communicate without hand gestured or typing on a scroll.

Jaune: Cool, no pun intended, any luck on stealing from the criminals and finding the information for other artifact?

Neo: Couple stupid idiots, one even use just one password and one pin for all of his money and secret document. As for the latter, none. You?

Jaune: Same, just a couple of Grimm and protecting Villages, haven’t see much from Salem’s cult as well. Seems like they went into hiding after I destroyed a lot of their camp.

Neo: And you aren’t being too hard on yourself, right?

Jaune: They weren’t much to exert me that far. I don’t even have to rely on Lyssa to fight them.

Lyssa: *Speak in Jaune’s mind* Damn right you are, these weakling are even worthy for master’s skills, let alone to withstand against my power! And worry not Neo, I ensure you that I will keep tabs on master’s health and force him to get enough sleep and nutrients!

Jaune let out a deep chuckle as he pat the sword on his back, which was wrapped in a bandage.

Jaune: And Lyssa told me she’s going to protect me and make sure I don’t slip back into my old habits. So, really, you don’t have to worry about me anymore.

Neo: That’s good to know, because I promised if I ever saw or know that you are awake late in night, swinging your sword like a madman, I WILL go to your current location and suffocate you in my thighs or tits, pick your funeral.

Jaune: *Chuckle nervously* You make it sound like it was a threat.

Neo: Because it is.

Jaune: I will keep that in mind.

Neo: … I know this isn’t something for me to say nor that I really care, but shouldn’t you visit your friends by now? It’s been 6 months since you last saw them in the hospital.

Jaune: Believe me, I have been dying to do so. But you know, somehow, all of the mission I saw and get was in Vacuo or a remote area, and once every a blue moon that I have a mission in Atlas or Vale or Menagerie, my friends weren’t there. Just my rotten luck. Besides, they need rest after the war and I don’t think my absent will affect them that badly.

———

Yang: *Red Eyes and blazing hair* If I finally captured that bastard, I will make him have second thought about abandoning all of us ever again! Stupid Vomit boy, making all of us, including my sweet little sister, cry our eyes out!

Blake: I know I don’t have any right to judge him but I will help you on that, I will bring the handcuff and leash so we could tied him with us forever so he won’t be able to run away.

———

Jaune: Heck, I am sure they are really busy with their new life to even think about me. With Dust in the world become even more rarer after the final fight, Weiss is trying to find another source of resource to replace Dust while fix her family legacy. You even say that Ruby is helping out Weiss while keeping Atlas save. And that is a lot of work!

———

Ruby: I miss my Best friend, Weiss, I miss him so much. *munching on a cookies while snuggling with Weiss*

Weiss: I also miss him… *Whisper* Where are you my Knight… your princess is waiting for you to come back… *eating blueberry frozen yogurt*

———

Jaune: And I heard Kuroyuri are being rebuild! I am so proud of Ren and Nora, they could finally settled down and have a family. I do pray for Ren’s pelvis, I remember that Nora wanting to beat my family scored of 8 children.

———

Both Nora and Ren could be seen in Mistral, handing out papers with smiling Jaune when he still has the banana hair and written missing under it.

Nora: Have you seen our golden retriever son? I miss him so much! *Large tears running down her face*

Ren: Our boy have run away from us, we aren’t ready to let him go just yet. Is it because I yelled at him when we try to get Oscar back? I am sorry my boy for being too hard at you. *Lamented with black cloud over his head*

———

Jaune: *Shrugged* I am sure they are doing just fine

Neo: *rolled her eyes* And when are you gonna tell them about our relationship?

Jaune: When my jobs are near them. I just wish our scroll were destroyed in the last fight, I don’t even have their number to call them anymore.

Neo: Well, I just hope they would accept us being a thing, not that I care about their opinion on us.

Jaune: *Chuckled* I am sure they are already warm up to you, including you to them.

Neo flip the bird which cause him to laugh even harder.

Jaune: Anyway, I should get going now. I don’t want to worried the villagers with me being gone for a while now. Nice meeting with you, I will call you next week again, Neo.

Neo: *Looked down in sadness* I really miss you… I wish we could have gone together…

Jaune: …Me too… I also wish you and I could talk together everyday and hug you all I want… and kiss you all day… but you already know why we separate for now, we have role to fulfill.

Neo: I know… it just suck that you aren’t there when I woke up in the cold, lonely bed, greeting me with that dopey, kind smile of yours to warm my day up.

Jaune: Well… maybe we can arrange something so we could spent a week together in the future

Neo: *Look up with a logging in her eyes and smiled* I would love that.

Suddenly, he can hear an alarm flared up on the other side of the call.

Neo: Well, it seems like they finally noticed their money is missing. They really should use it to upgrade their brain, I am surprised they managed to go this far with it.

Jaune: Neo, what did I say about calling me in the middle of a heist?

Neo: Please, as if you have the right to say that, ‘Mister-who-call-me-even-in-the-middle-of-hoard-of-Grimm’.

Jaune: *Sigh* Fine, just be careful.

Neo: Who do you think I am? *Smirking smugly*

Jaune: Well, that’s it for this week. Don’t forget, it will be your turn next.

Neo: *Rolled eyes* I know, just make sure you remember this number.

Jaune: I won’t, love you dear.

Neo: Love you too. Also, Lyssa, take care of our reckless partner and don’t let him jump into danger.

The sword of destruction began to shine as a small girl appeared on its place and grab hold on Jaune like a Koala, head peaking out so Neo could see her.

Lyssa: Don’t worry, this foolish master of my will not endanger his life as long as I am still by his side.

Neo: That’s good to know… see ya next week.

With the call ended, he gripped his scroll until it shattered under his hand.

Jaune: Well, are you ready for our next mission, Partner?

Lyssa: I want to sweet chocolate cake first! It has been a week since I had one and I believe I deserve one.

Jaune: *Chuckled* Okay, lets ask the chief if the place had any bakery or a cafe.

With that, the wandering knight set forth on his journey even after the war ended 6 months ago, leaving (Not Really) his friends behind as every single one of them have something in mind which they are gonna do to the knight if they find him, if, since it seem like Fate or Gods itself have another thing in mind for him and have taken a liking at his funny story unfolding. But we will see what the future’s hold for them.

[spahhzy]

Neo: 'You know you're being awfully bratty today!'

Jaune: Nu-uh, I don't wanna hear it today. You're in charge today, so I get to be the bottom.

Jaune: I'm hungry. Feed me...

Jaune: I'm bored. Give me attention..

Neo: 😯

Jaune: I want chocolate.

Jaune: My tummy hurts, and I'm being really brave about it.

Neo: 😲

Neo: 'That one is uncalled for!'

[spahhzy]

Neo being nursed back to health by Jaune, fumbling around, she pulled out her scroll, not wanting to bother with signing right now.

Neo: You saved me?

Jaune looked at the scroll before continuing to mend her wounds.

Neo: You took care of me. gave me everything...why?

Neo: All I've ever done is hurt you and your friends... I've went out of my way to make your life so much harder...

Neo: Why... why are you still doing this?

Jaune looked at the scroll and looked at Neo, who stared back at him before she blushed and averted her gaze to something else.

Jaune: I wish I knew...

Neo's head turned back to him as he activated his aura.

Jaune: I wish... I understood.

A warmth filled her as Jaune aura began to heal up any of the lingering damages.

Jaune: But the only conclusion i am able to draw is... the magnitude of your value to me...exists beyond your every action.

Neo's eyes widened as she felt her eyes begin to sting.

Jaune: Ultimately, I care because of who I am, not what you've done.

He cares for her.

Just her.

And for the first time since Roman died, Neo cried.

[spahhzy]

Jaune: You know you remind me of space!

Neo: 🤔

Jaune: Silent and mysteriously beautiful.

Neo: 😳🤭

Neo just twined her fingers with his a beautiful bright smile on her face as they both enjoyed the starry night sky together.

[spahhzy]

Sequel to my other sad Knightshade post.

Blake crashed through the door to the home of the Schnee-Rose home, surprising both Weiss and Ruby as her cries echoed throughout the house.

Weiss: Blake!?

Ruby: What's wrong!? What happened!?

Blake just cried even harder as the married couple looked at her worried, as Blake just screamed into her hands.

Ruby and Weiss sat down next to the distraught faunus and tried to calm her down, but to little avail.

Blake: I'm wretched. I'm wretched. I'm wretched...

Was all she kept screaming into her hands.

Ruby: No, no, no, you're not wretched, you just made a mistake, Blake...

Weiss got up and went to get some towels as Blake was dripping wet with water.

Blake: You didn't see the look in her eyes, Ruby!

Ruby: Her eyes? Do you mean your daughter?

A scream was all she got as her confirmation.

Blake: All I did... was reach out a hand toward her...as I've done so many countless times before...

Ruby just continued rubbing her teammates back, Blake sniffles began to decrease as her Amber eyes just gazed on sad and lifeless.

Blake: She screamed...she-she cried...she-she fell to the ground and crawled away from me...

Weiss had come back, slightly overhearing Blake's lament, walked back in with a towel and a small glass of milk in hopes to calm the hurt woman down.

Blake looked down at her hands with disdain.

Blake: Curse these wretched wretched hands...

Blake pulls out a photo from her pocket, a photo of Her, Jaune, and their child, smiling happily without a care in the world.

Blake almost lost herself in the photo for a split second, reliving the past; only to be brutally brought back to reality.

Jaune, her Knight, was dead...

And in her grief, sadness and cowardess left her child all alone.

No mama or papa to protect her.

Blake: I shall never reach for another being as long as I live...curse these wretched hands...

Weiss and Ruby looked at each other, unsure of what to do.

Blake: They will never be held by her tiny fingers... again.

And Blake cried again, letting her sorrow overtake her as her friends just sat by her side and offered whatever comfort they could long into the night.

-

The next morning, Blake was still fast asleep, Ruby and Weiss were having breakfast, the tone more serious and somber as they were unsure of what to do.

*vroooom*

The sound of a motorcycle pulling up to their home only made matters worse.

The driver of said motorcycle pulled off their helmet, revealing long yellow hair and a beautiful face that had a look of rage, if evident by the red in her eyes.

Yang Xiao Long was here... and hell followed with her.

[spahhzy]

Jaune sighed a frown etched across his face as he continued his studying.

Neo: 🤔

Jaune: Oh hey Neo? What's up? Finished with what you were doing?

Neo: *nods* *points to Jaune's notes and scroll*

Jaune: Oh, this? I'm just studying some things like your movement and attack techniques.

Neo: 🤔

Jaune: Well, being your 'unconventional' partner, I'd prefer not to bumble or stumble into your way. In fact, I hope to add more to your repertoire with how erm...agile... you can be. I just don't want to be a burden-

*Flick*

Jaune: Ow!

Neo took the pen from his hand.

'You are not a burden'

Neo stared intensely into his eyes, and Jaune just blushed red.

Jaune: Oh, uhm, thank you...about your agility..

Neo: 😳🤭

Jaune: uh- no! Hey, no thinking like that! I was thinking purely combat related things!

Neo: 🤣

Jaune: grr!

Jaune takes the pen back from her and starts pointing at a list that had many names written on it.

Jaune: This is serious! You know how hard it is to come up with 'Team Attacks names'! It's harder than it looks! Why don't you recom-

Neo just had a smug smirk and rolled her eyes as she walked away, but Jaune just chased after her with a list in his hand but a smile on his face.

-

I envision a Jaune and Neo team attack to one day be a canon thing if Neo ever gets out of the 'respec' phase and uses it on Cinder.

[spahhzy]

Viz Media lounge.

Jaune: Hey. You know what? I actually am attracted to women who like to ruin my life so...

Kaguya (Naruto): 😈

Viz Media game room.

Boruto: Go fish.

Ruby: ah sprinkles.

Neo tosses cards to the table, unhappy to lose again.

A girlish scream could be heard as Jaune burst through the door but not far behind him was Kaguya.

Jaune: SOMEONE! SOMEONE HELP ME!

A hand slithered onto Jaune chest as it tried to drag him back into the darkness.

Kaguya: You've been through a lot worse than this...

Jaune: I MISS THE JABBERWOCKIES! I MISS THE JABBERWOCKIES!!

Jaune screams, got farther and farther away as he was slowly dragged into the darkness.

Kaguya: Why don't you tell me more about this Pyrrha again~

Ruby: ...

Neo: ...

Boruto: ...you gonna help him?

Neo: 'Not my time yet'

Ruby: Waiting for season 10.

Boruto: Okay.

[spahhzy]

[spahhzy]

Ruby: So, how serious are you and Neo?

Jaune: I put her name down instead of my mom's as the emergency contact when I go to the doctors.

[spahhzy]

Jaune: Can I have a glass of water, please?

Waitress: of course honey.

Neo: ...

Neo:

Jaune: no no no, no, put hush away! There's no need to get kicked out of a restaurant for life... again!

Neo: 👿

[spahhzy]

Jaune: So do you want children?

Cinder: Not really. You?

Jaune: Cool, me neither!

*later*

Jaune and Cinder walk through the door of their home.

Jaune: Kids! We need to talk...

[spahhzy]

Who let the Avagodro out again?

It’s that time of year, again!

[spahhzy]

Roman: So let me see if I understand this correctly.

Roman: You (points to Neo) went out to steal some jewels.

Neo: 👍

Roman: While that was happening, a cop mistook you (points to Jaune)uhm...

Jaune: Jaune! (Tail wagging happily)

Roman: Right, Jaune, a cop mistook you as her accomplice and was about to beat you up!

Jaune: Yeah!

Roman: So you save him, and he...follows you home?

Neo: 😅

Roman: So buddy, uh, why did you follow my friend here home?

Jaune: Oh cause I love her!

Neo: 😯😲😳

Roman: Ah. I see, welp. Good luck Neo, I'm going to see Lisa, you have fun with your new 'friend' here. I swear I'm living a deluded fanfiction sometimes. What's next, a bunny as a part of my gang?

Neo: *embarrassed unreadable signing*

Jaune: 😁

Dog!Faunus Jaune: I have just met you and I love you.

Imagine your JauneOTP

[spahhzy]

Jaune walking out in a suit, after beating up someone for it.

Jaune: I am so so sorry...

CC: Jaune! Yeah, baby! Now, no one will recognize us!

Jaune just sighed and rolled his eyes.

CC: Seriously! You could get voted 'People Sexiest Man of the Year!' If people cared who you are anymore.

Jaune: I've won sexy man awards before...

CC: Of course you have!

Jaune: We are bad people.

CC: Yeah, we are!

[spahhzy]

Benjamin Arc Rose- B.A.R.

Ruby: O daughter of mine, child of whom I've birthed, I shall give you a name that only the proudest of mothers can give you. Welcome to the world...

Ruby: BULLET ROSE~.

Bullet: (Wails)

Spouse: I'm naming the next one.

[spahhzy]

Kid: I love you mom

Ruby: I love you too, 30-06.

Ruby: O daughter of mine, child of whom I've birthed, I shall give you a name that only the proudest of mothers can give you. Welcome to the world...

Ruby: BULLET ROSE~.

Bullet: (Wails)

Spouse: I'm naming the next one.