#while also paying for my bills
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Cuz why tf do i have to do literally everything on my own without an ounce of any freaking help
#being independent is all fun n games#until you realize how freaking exhausting it is#explain to me how i as a college student#am supposed to come up with money#for a new car#& to move out#while also paying for my bills#putting gas in my death trap of a vehicle#as well as other things#WITH NO HELP#like fucc dude can i get a break#or like idk 2% of help#like what am i supposed to do here#i ask for help & nobody seems to freaking care#& i know the worlds not gonna stop spinning jus bc i want it to#but i rly dont think im asking for a lot here#like do i have to get into a rly bad accident#for anyone to take my car shit seriously?#i wanna ask for help but why ask when ive asked#a million other times#and it feels like ive received nothing#i know my feelings are not always the true reality#& i know people care#but fucc dude.#how many times do i have to complain about the same fucking thing before anything changes#why must i do EVERYTHING on my freaking own#& everyone else has parents or some form of fucking help.
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springtrap but he has claws and he slowwwwwly sinks them into youi while holdoing you close purring softly hes not eveb truing ta hurt you on ourpose justtrying ta keep you as close as possible and get you ta stay put for just a few more seconds oohohohhh ohhh hospital hostpital hospital. emergency room hospital
#ooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh'#springtrap w/claws my absolute weakness#ohhh ouhuhhohohohohoooooo#slash me w/them thnits please ohhh oh my gos#spacie spoinks#i want him ta latch on and never let go#aouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh#houaaauuuuuuugh ohhhh#who ami kidding i cant pay for the emergency room bill#urgent care urgent care pjaaaa waiting room in the urgent care#patiently waiting ta be seen in the urgent care while im bleeding all over the seats from springrtap ripping me apart#w/his claws and teeth#there are bite wounds and deep gashes all over me and i am just sitting there really content and springtrap#is embarrassed he did so much damage but also slightly worried#sorry for writing fanfic in the tags i need him so bad and i need 2 be held even more than that#ohhh my god i need 2 fuck him so bad#ohhhh ohhh my godddddd#utgent care urgent care ohhhh calm drive ta the urgent care as i cover the car seats w/my own blood#fuuuck oh my god fuck oh mt god
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My favorite funny thing on occasion is to imagine sugar baby/daddy dynamics with Tails ships
Something so comical about the fact that Sonic the hedgehog (hedgehog without a home) would be sugar baby to Tails (fox who has so many labs. Like who needs to worry about money when your little buddy pays for stuff heroing doesn't and keeps his bases fully stocked with ingredients for your favorite food
Or like, Tails, who basically ended up being Sonic's sugar daddy, accidentally gaining more sugar babies by virtue of making sure certain characters don't inconvenience people (basically playing damage control)
While I think it's Rouge mainly who would probably suppliment the money for Omega and Shadow (if need be) and play this sort of role for them, it's still funny to imagine Tails insisting on setting them up in hotel rooms because Shadow was just about to sleep outside and saw no problem with that (and because Tails can't very well just let Shadow do that)
A friend of mine also moved that, under this framework, after the idw issues where the Chaotix took a job helping Knuckles get an artifact back, Tails would just silently patch them rent money as an apology for the whole thing.
Rich inventor Tails accidentally gaining bfs out of the main cast as his sugar babies because he's assumed responsibility for their antics and cares about them too much to just let them live life the way they have been. Do you see my vision?
#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sontails#unbreakable bond#knuxails#shadails#i just be ramblin#for the record it's not limited to these ships by any means#they were just examples#While this is largely funny thoughts or au stuff genuinely one of my favorite headcanons is that Tails is the sugar daddy to Sonic's sugar#baby. Since Tails has all the resources and the housing and the labs and the budget and pretty much canonically has his home set up to cater#to Sonic#While Sonic kind of just adventures and does whatever#but ultimately does drop by Tails' place often to take advantage of Tails' assistance and catering to him#and since they adventure/go places with each other pretty often it's pretty easy to imagine Tails paying all the bills😂#Not even to mention idw where it's all but implied that Sonic has been living with Tails at this point (crashing at his place much more#often than before at minimum)#As for the Rouge comment. While I don't personally ship Rouge with either Shadow or Omega you can take that comment about her playing the#same role to them (possibly) as Tails does for Sonic as ship if you so wish#And with that being said you can also interpret this post as implied omegails/tailsmega/taimega too. I only didn't tag it cause I didn't#really talk about those two much specifically
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If you like my content and want to support me I have now a Ko-fi, thank you in advance of you help 🥺💖
#i wanted to make another post more clean ckbsjdj#more official#while I find a job it will help me a lot pay for Sowon’s food and litter my medication and my phone#also Puppy’s pills if my mom dosen’t have enough#with my dad changing job she will have to pay more for bus pass and it may put her in trouble#i need to go to the place where they can help you find a job cause I’m lost on where to go and what’s good for me….#I’m in trouble with money but I still live well thanks to my parents so you don’t have to but it would help a lot for now#and even if I do get a job the money I receive will go into puppy’s vet bills 💚#alex.txt#ok to reblog please do
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Today I created my own holiday called “handle your shit saturday” in which I had to actually deal with all the shit piling up in my house and actually do the projects I’d been planning and it was so satisfying and made me feel SO much better. If you’re struggling rn, I highly recommend, even if you just handle a small chunk of your shit, giving it a name made it feel all official and whatnot and somehow let me trick myself into doing things I’ve been putting off since November.
#I re-sealed around the basement window where I think ants were getting in last summer#I filed my taxes#I put away the candles in the windows from Christmas (all the other Christmas shit got put away a while ago)#I put away all the snowman decor#there’s still more to do:#I need to pay my water bill#i need to scan the QR code that came with the water bill to see if I have to test something about my pipes#I need to re-seal around the kitchen counters and also the kitchen window#(the other likely entry point for the ants)#I need to replace the picture frame I broke mopping last weekend (don’t ask I don’t know how I did it either)#but getting rid of the piles of paper for my taxes for example feels so good
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Hiiii.
So, not one but two jobs just fell through. I'm currently visiting friends (because of course I get this news while on vacation) but as soon as I get back home I'll start applying places, but let's be honest, even if I succeed in getting a second job (yes, I already have a job, no it doesn't pay all my bills, welcome to hell) I don't know if that'll be enough to cover everything. I was really depending on these jobs, I was promised them for months. Ask any of my close friends, they've been hearing me chant "I just have to make it until July" since January.
And yet, here we are. So.
A couple months ago I decided to take the plunge and start up a Patreon to share my original work and help support my writing career as I begin the journey of self publishing my novels. But I know that some people only want to read my fanfic (and that's okay!) so I made a special $3-a-month-tier just for you guys.
(I do also have a ko-fi, but honestly, a steady income on Patreon would benefit me a lot more.)
If ten percent of the average reader count on my fics were to sign up for the $3, I could pay half my bills every month and I wouldn't have to find a second job. Obviously I don't expect that many people to sign up, but I hope that expresses just how much every little bit helps me.
If you sign up for $3 you get no notifications, no emails, nothing, you do not get bothered by me. You would, however, probably get those fanfics you've all been waiting on because I would actually have time to write them (I'm seriously worried I won't get even my Halloween fics done in time because I've had no time or energy to write them, and I started working on these fics in January). You can sign up for a higher tier if you want of course, but if you're not interested in my original work or pictures of my cats you probably want to stick to $3.
(For free updates on my novels and such you can follow me @lincolnchristie - my A Masque of Shadows Ao3 updates will be posted there, for example).
I've had to ask for help from the tumblr community before, and I hated it, and I hate it now, but this time I do feel a little better about it because I'm not asking while giving nothing back. I truly do hate self-promotion but every little bit helps. The appreciation and enthusiasm I've gotten from people on tumblr and on Ao3 in response to my writing the last few years has been truly amazing, and so I hope that I've created stories you love enough that, if you have the spare change, you'll consider helping to support me as I embark on my professional writing career and try to keep the lights on.
It's been a tough year and a tough few months for me and I'm sure it has for everyone reading this, too. Please stay safe and take care of yourself, and thank you for taking the time to read this. Even if you can't sign on, reblogging also really helps. Thank you.
#about lincoln#lincoln writes stuff#literally getting this news when I won't even be home for a week is just#I learned about the one job last week and just got the email on this one#so it's been fun#but yes I am working on the fanfics I just haven't had time while trying to pay my bills#and also revise my novels#so if people have the spare money and like my fanfic and want more of it#and/or would like to help me have the time to get my novels publish-ready#it would mean the world to me#I'm going to go disappear now so I can full-body cringe over this post in peace
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i know the answer is yes But should i attempt to buy mcr tickets tmrw
#IF theyre even available. i will be At my place of work while purchasing them. like actively clocking in.#i need to see them so badly. i should just do it right?? i get paid today or tmrw i think so i should just put them on my credit#card and pay it off when i can. my bills not even due for like a week+..#thats also if its only $70 like the ticketmaster callers say. allegedly. if its more: fuck. if its less: yippee!!#but im hoping for the chicago show.. which will probably sell out Immediately anyway#talk tag
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always found this little parallel between how scott speaks about buddy cole vs danny husk fascinating:
(top quote is from this 2017 vulture interview, bottom quote is from paul myers' 2018 book "one dumb guy")
'he's smarter than me. braver than me. he's better than me'' vs ''danny may not be the smartest or the bravest but he's a very decent man''
#on its own this is a cool (probably unintentional) echo of how scott talks about two of his biggest characters#but of course being the buddy-cole-documentary person and the only person who's mentioned scott's ptsdiva podcast to him upon first meeting#(true fact he hadn't heard anyone mention that podcast since it finished releasing and that was a big part of my first impression)#i'm so excited to hopefully dig into the deeper implications of this#bc throughout scott's career he's used buddy as a way to process his thoughts on a variety of topics and to speak his mind#BUT. after he recovered from his cancer. he didn't immediately launch another buddy cole side project like he did so many times#(and i mean MANY times that's why i have a whole goddamn timeline for buddy cole side projects)#no. after he recovered from cancer he wrote the *danny husk* graphic novel#and there's also an interview from around that time (i can't find it rn but i know i have it bookmarked) where he low key blames buddy cole#for how he's always been typecast as the gay-best-friend. which while buddy cole is proudly a stereotype#he's still the exact opposite of that trope bc he has agency. and that's why scott made so many buddy cole side projects#while he was paying the bills with gay-best-friend roles in the late 90s#so what was it in this case that made him go ''actually i don't want to write from the perspective of someone who's better than me''#and embrace a bit of danny husk energy?#i haven't read his danny husk graphic novel yet but i do have some theories#but idk actively theorizing on here (especially as someone who is friends with scott) feels a bit too far so i'm gonna leave it at this#a cool parallel. an interesting timeline pattern. an indication of one of the questions from my next interview#i would say ''i wonder if anyone else has noticed this'' but come on jess you're the only one who would have seen both these things
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Holy fuck y'all i should NOT be awake 😭
#p#i need to be up in six hours 😭😭#i had an awful exhausting evening#my hamster that i had before moving passed away#the car i bought not even two years ago is totaled and unfixable#i lost one of the gigs i thought i had secured for the school year#it is pms hell week for me and i keep swinging wildly between utter fully body rage and complete overwhelming despair and anxiety#i want to cry but ive done enough crying tonight thank you!!!!#please let tomorrow be kinder i desperately need it#please let the jobs ive emailed tonight email me back#and let the pay be good#i also have sooooo much to do before next tuesday oh my god#i need to prep for our session on saturday#finish lesson planning for the summer camp#finish character creation#grocery shop#quick clean of the house bcuz lord knows i wont be doing it while at the camp#i still havent received a v important piece of mail#figure out how to pay my taxes and insurance#prep for the meeting i have monday morning re new school year including some brain storming#reviewing the pacing calendar and handbook and looking at the google drive again#and im being social this entire weekend agh#plus look for jobs i guess??? bcuz money is needed#and theres family drama 🙃#ugh i should probably not be posting this on main#perhaps i will delete later ugh#life is just hard atm it will get better it always does#and i will not lose my rental nor will i be unable to pay my taxes and bills#it will be FINE#because i will make it fine
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basically i feel like being femme is that life long dream that i'm not really good enough for, like I wanted to be a singer but my voice was just okay, so eventually i need to settle down with a real job that's not my passion but i'm actually good at, aka being more masculine
#like no presenting masc doesn't make my heart sing but it pays the bills you know#it fits me like a glove unfortunately#and if i put in just a little effort I'd be really good at it bc my whole body already looks and moves like that#while more and more i feel like dresses are an ill fitting costume#gender#m#also i feel like I'd actually get people into me like that
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"bedrotting is a privilege because i dont have the time to bed rot. when i get home from work im excited that i get to bed rot" Do yall know what that word means
#like srsly#idk if i can rlly talk for this#bcos everytime theres conversation abt this it has to do with paying bills and all that#and i dont have to do that yet#but like for me i spent months almost always in bed#i wasnt even on my phone most of the time#i just lied there thinking abt how to kms and occasionally crying or sleeping#and i got rlly behind in school bcos i didnt do anything for months#and it rlly did fuck up my life#heavily#so idk for all the “bed rotting is a privilege” discourse#i see so many ppl talking abt it like it's just relaxing#and if yall are going to argue abt this can yall atleast know what it means??#like sure yall can have that conversation but atleast know what youre talking abt#and also is it even smthn worth talking abt#idk if it's mean but like what's the point in pointing out that bedrotting is a privilege if it is??#like genuinely#and also alot of the discourse runs on the idea that it doesnt mess up anyone's life and while im not completely sure if i count#bcos im not an adult that pays bills#but like idk i think it does#ik most discourse is stupid#but i dont understand the point of that one anyway#like yeah i guess?? maybe?? if we're assuming that the depressed or disabled person doesnt have their life completely fucked up by it#maybe??#idk. who does it help by saying that a person who can hardly get out of bed is privileged#maybe there is a point to it that im just not thinking of rn#and im sorry for being rlly shortsighted if i am#but like??#i dont understand someone being unable to bedrot bcos itd fuck up their life? bcos like?? yeah that's what it does#maybe i have the wrong definition here bcos im seriously confused
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So I know this isn't anything that like actually needs an apology but it'll make me feel a bit better to say it. Oof whoops this ABoT chapter is super late. Timing kinda sucks since I wanted to have some updates out while s3 was airing but
Been kinda mega busy and stressed since October with the whole condo buying thing which rolled right into immediate day 0 plumbing and boiler issues I had to get fixed and general moving hassle and financial commitment stress and I kinda just fried myself hard. Plus then acclimating to a new place without my familiar street or familiar grocery store or familiar room or any of that. Like there's no "just go home and take your mind off it" to this cuz home is the "it". So I'm just kinda enduring until I can calm the hell down.
And anyway I definitely have progress on ch47, like 7000-ish words of it, but it's the kind of like "there is writing there" and hasn't exactly hit the "there is substance there" that I want ABoT chapters to be. Like this in particular is a chapter I want to be good, not just be done. So it's taking time to get my brain somewhere that can do that.
#anyway#i mean just in case anyone was like wondering if its discontinued to anything#its still going i just can't make it Good quite yet#(plus i need to get furniture cuz as it stands the place is really quite empty and bare except for like my room and the kitchen)#(also the bank had my address wrong so they havent been able to send me any of the mortgage information which was technically due already)#(ive been in contact with them but it's a whole thing)#(plus im still not quite finished with all the utility switching. i still need to get water in my name)#(and the boiler issue fucked up my gas bill so now ive got a crazy high gas bill i just need to... pay)#(i have actually started seeing a therapist but thats a whole other Thing now figuring out insurance and deductables and using my HSA#account and just... it's a lot)#(oh also my homeowner's insurance policy number doesn't actually work for getting me into the online portal. and the geico guy said he was#looking into it but I havent heard anything in a while)#(its a lot im just gonna melt for a while i guess)#(plus all the upfront stress has made it really hard to associate the new place as 'home' instead of 'place of great many plumbing evils')#(i sat on like 4 million couches this week and the only one i really really like probably doesn't quite fit in my living room)#(the downstairs neighbors tv is too loud and i need to talk to her about it in a way which isn't 'hey im holding on by a thread and this#one small inconvenience is the thing which is making me turn into ash')#(oh thats right i have to go pay my january HOA dues...)#(oh also I need to file for the owner-occupied tax exemption thing now that its 2023)#anyway......... ill be normal eventually. im just not normal right now.#chrissy speaks
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This is Rosemary. I love her.
This is what Rosemary looked like when I acquired her. My husband said she looked like she had lived through a horror film.
I decided, as homage to her horrific history (lol), that she’s into scary movies and Halloween. Also, I chose her name from a classic horror film - Rosemary’s Baby.
But most of my dolls have last names, and Rosemary hasn’t gotten one yet. So I thought, she’s a redhead, there’s a good chance she has Irish heritage right? So I looked up a list of Irish surnames.
There were several I liked, but after scrolling a while, I found the name Halloran. Which I immediately associate with Dick Halloran, a significant character in The Shining, one of the first modern horror novels I read and also loved. And since her first name is also a tribute to horror? It just felt right.
So anyway, introducing Rosemary Halloran. It’s almost Spooky Season, which is her favorite time of year, and she’s very excited!
#personal#american girl#shes a blaire but lbr i never read her books and would rather make my own character#i want to give her glasses but also im on a strict budget for dog reasons#got veterinary bills to pay so doll spending is on hold for a while#BUT EVENTUALLY she probably needs eyecare
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when you're disabled, being financially abused by your parents never ends
#so you're telling me that you got 5k this week from claiming me on your taxes#while hounding me about how i haven't been contributing enough to bills & expenses (i was giving you what you asked for!)#and none of it will go to me because ''i owe it to you for living with you''#despite the fact that 5k nearly covers the mortgage for the entire YEAR#DESPITE THE FACT THAT I COULD PAY OFF MY OWN LANDLORD AND MOVE OUT#btw i literally only let her claim me on her taxes bc she said she'd be giving it to me. and this is the third time she has done this.#promised me it wouldn't happen again. she used me.#she does this thing a lot#where she acts like she's helping people but only does it to hold it over their head#i told her i could have been paying her more for bills but she told me i didn't have to#and now she's complaining that i don't pay enough#i will literally tell her not to help me sometimes#bc she'll do it anyway and then later on you hear ''i did something nice for you so if you don't help me with a favor right now...#...I'll do everything I can to sabotage your life''#so she literally only does it for personal gain#so that she can have an excuse to feel like she's better than all of her kids and that we're just stupid ungrateful assholes#all 3 of her kids could be telling her that her logic is wrong and she won't budge#another thing that happened recently is that she told me i needed to pay her back for a gift she bought me that got stolen#which is also something she does a lot. buys me things without asking and then telling me i have to pay her back for them#i had way more stuff stolen that i had personally bought#i didn't ask for that fucking keyboard sorry. I ALREADY HAD ONE.#and she's been going on about how ''she's the one who's ACTUALLY being affected''#she is FULLY AWARE that the dude she lets over has stolen from us MULTIPLE times#but apparently it's my responsibility to pay her back for something out of my control#STOP BUYING ME SHIT AND TELLING ME I DON'T NEED TO PAY YOU MORE IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA HOLD IT OVER MY HEAD#IF I'M SUCH A BURDEN MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LEAVE#.bdo
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people in the tags of that post once again like "what do you mean i can't drive my car into oncoming traffic? look i've made a PERSONAL CHOICE to drive in whatever lane i like and i'm not forcing YOU to do it :) don't be a cop respect my decision"
#genuinely THIS IS WHY I DO NOT LIKE STONERS I STG#(people with regular cigarettes are usually like this too these days actually but stoners are worse about it)#did you do it? did you fight the man by sending me into respiratory arrest again?#is it selling out of you to pay my medical bills after i said 'hey you know that's going to make me sick' and you blow smoke in my face?#are you helping to legalise it by telling me i don't have a personality while i have to be intubated for the third time in as many months?#cunt.#smoking weed might not be a personality trait but not giving a shit about other people if it inconveniences you sure is!#i'll end friendships over this i don't give a damn. they still owe me hundreds in icu stays so fuck 'em#also tbh you shouldn't be friends with someone that says 'ugh you're so boring because you won't smoke/drink with me' anyway
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The Dark Future - Chapter 5 - Sketch WIPS
#destiny 2#destiny the game#bungie#destiny art#the dark future#wips#Elsie bray#exo stranger#warmind Rasputin#commander Zavala#watch me trying to be more active here while twitter falls apart#also like I said on twt my progress in this chap is slower due to my other works#gotta give priority to what pays my bills right dncnsnd
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