#which my parents like very much
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
OBSESSED with the dishes at this place. Especially this autumnal sake cup.
Ordered hot sake which meant I could make the bunny go to the onsen :) Filled it up VERY CAREFULLY to just under his nose so he wouldn't drown. Also so he didn't have enough depth to swim and cause a Jimmy Carter situation. Anyway. This was so cute it was amazing I left the restaurant at all.
#jimmy carter was the 39th us president#and he was once attacked by a swimming rabbit in a rowboat#(a story that feels very... australian?)#no one believed him.#and a folk singer named allan sherman wrote a song about it#which my parents like very much#truly the weird al of the 1960s
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
286 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know im unable to shut up when i have any opinion on zelda (though i try and have thus far succeeded at not commenting on any other concept from the darn book)- i find most totk ganondorf concept art worse than what we got to insulting even (of those i have seen) ..... this one though
much more the one in the background than the one up front, still at least he has the collar and the weapon we saw in the first trailer of things that never happen in the end (like so much else)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#it looks like he got actual shoes in the bg one#which i like#also the big flowing robe is jsut cool as fuck#i like old japanese aesthetic but i still dont think it fits at all in totk#like its so clearly done to other him from the gerudo despite wearing their symbol all over#idk it looks so much more unique and memorable#sorry but totk gan normal looks a lil boring though i like the pattern in the robe#and his deeeemon form looks more like they tried to do demise again but not quite#like yeah lets use the design things on the uncool and forgotten and possibly retconned villain#and staple it too the much more known one :)#like yes he looks different from the gerudo still and very much still japanese in this concept#but it .... just kinda looks more unique and interesting to me#like in an either go all the way or leave it kinda way#yes i am biased#i love both demise and gan#anyway- i am still a prisoner of art (cant draw weeeee)#(plus IRL stress with my parents and weather change thus migraine yippiiie)
231 notes
·
View notes
Text
mom avoids dead anime mom curse because he transitions. he’s always had a complicated relationship with pregnancy because of how woefully little people are told about potential complications and aftercare, and also because of how gendered it is, so after the birth of his second child he’s finally had it and decides to transition
he joins a local community group for mothers and at first it’s played for laughs how often they fall to the dead mom curse, but soon we find out more about how society has failed mothers and people who give birth, from information being withheld, procedures being carried out without consent, lack of accommodations and maternal and paternal leave, racism…
it also turns out that becoming a man doesn’t help with this, not really, because being a pregnant trans man brings its own problems. follow along as he learns more about being a parent and a mother, and maybe even… finding love???
coming to you never because I can’t write!
#if the japanese is bad. MY BAD LMAO#this was also a joke for me at first but then i was like well hang on.....#my initial romance thought was his husband leaves him after the transition and eventually a new single father ends up joining the group#cos he like. idk misread the flyer as being a new parents group but the group accepts him with open arms#and hes drawn to the only other guy there and well u know wink wonk.#then i thought well come on thats not. very nice rip what if his husband sticks with him.#but thats why u have more than one trans guy LMAO so it doesnt become bad tokenism!!!!#the older kid also has a complicated relationship with his mom transitioning tbh#art#wow original art from me... ummm.#he also wears glasses but not all the time#GRAPHIC DESIGN IS (NOT) MY PASSION!!!!!#I WANT YOU TO KNOW IF THIS WOULD EVER BE WRITTEN IT WOULD BE GROUNDBREAKING INCREDIBLE.#but it wont because one that would imply that i finish writing anything ever.#two it would require so so much reading. which you should be doing you should be researching.#but the point is there would be a lot because i would think 'oh it had to be perfect' and then would never do it. on top of already#never finishing anything..................#ocs
448 notes
·
View notes
Text
24.10.23, tuesday
a week long break from the main priority course started today!! Tomorrow gonna work on the other courses, but decided to have the day off today as a treat etc (can’t take the whole week off, so a day will have to do)
things done today:
a meeting (had to lead it, did a very crappy job on it but at least that’s done)
whole bunch of reading
dishes & general cleaning around while listening to a podcast
a walk
#but eitherway I’m feeling good about this week bc the other courses are just coding by myself and that’s chill#and on saturday will go to a food & wine & book fair and after that to a restaurant with my parents so that’s going to be very nice#(the annual food & wine & book fair is pretty much my favorite thing of the year)#(and it’s always at the end of october which is also like just the perfect time)#bookblr#studyblr#booklr#aesthetic#books#study#reading#read#book#studyspo#dark academia#alchol tw#tw alcohol#october 2023#2023
321 notes
·
View notes
Text
PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.
Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.
anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree
#tew#edit:nathan#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#so much shame in my body but still used my taglist but um let me know if you want to be excluded from oc/ship web weaves#just really wanted to share this one because i'm very proud of it and i want it on my blog. so. :]#recognition of the self through the other + wanting so desperately for the other to be deserving of a second chance#because if there is hope for them than there is hope for you etc etc and so on. that's the core of their dynamic i think#they understand each other on such a fundamental level that no one else comes close to because they are in so many ways the same#like how in in the first game leslie could sync up with ru/vik and all that? nathan would be a VERY good candidate for that as well#and it makes me insane!! and then the added layer of nathan being lead developer of mobius' new and improved STEM system#which makes him the same as ru/vik AGAIN but in like. the way that they're both men of [computer] science#and there's the fact they both have a dead sister. they both killed their parents. they were both mobius playthings for YEARS#and they've happily killed and tortured during all of it. they're angry they're out for revenge they're completely disconnected from#the normal human experience and they're working with what they have. and then after all of that is over then what is left?#their story focuses on them picking up all the pieces. everything that's still salvageable at least. and try to start over in a way#they cannot be forgiven for what they've done but they can move on from the past and do different in the future#there's still things left undone and left unsaid... in my canon at least. i know there's not gonna be any more games. it's fine#anyway they end up going to therapy and then they get better they're not a doomed couple they just like being dramatic#if you read all of this we can get married tomorrow if you'd like
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m glad to be included in gender, and it’s an honor to trans your gender, but gender is astrology to me. “Girl sun boy moon.” You don’t agree, but now you get me better. Send post
#super super fun and everyone likes to look themselves up#but we made it all up yeah?#it’s like holidays yeah?#and then you learn more about (being very serious here)#there are living cultural practices that take astrology very seriously#and set up aspects of real world material oppression around your birth chart#(I was educated by a good friend on how astrology is handled in other cultures than my own)#which is also like gender: all in good fun until you realize people are taking it so seriously#that little kids are growing up in unconscionable circumstances#because their parents have decided who they are based on various external quirks like stars and colors#rather than the kid showing who they are through their heart.#so it’s all in good fun except when it isn’t.#but once again going back to the all in good fun part#it really is so sensible to say girl sun boy moon.#you can feel this#you get me!!!#it explains so much
396 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#not to be a broken lil man on main#but I was on the phone with my dad for 30 minutes just now (that's a lot for a phone call with him) and like.... damn. yeah. i do have one#parent who's not horrible huh#we talked a lot about my plans for the future...... which I only now told him bcs scary and bcs........ I never ever during my 25 years of#being alive got the impression from my parents that something like this would be an acceptable career choice or something they'd support#and I mean. my [redacted] of a mother is the best example for how. not alright it is with her that I'm doing something that's not very...#traditional for this family#but anyways. my dad was absolutely fucking lovely#to the point that I get getting teary eyed and felt my throat closing up cause. huh. i guess in his own way he does love me and believe in#he asked me to send him a link or a pdf of my first conference report because he wants to keep it somewhere 😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm....... ouch. ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch#you know the ghosting I am really good at with tumblr chats (sorry guys. ilu. I just suck at communication)???? i'm also extremely good at#that with whatsapp chats and just. not calling my irl loved ones#so idk. hearing him say he understands and just wanted to make sure I wasn't upset with him and like. wanted to know if I was doing okay.#damn. okay. damn#idk#this was such a good talk and he was so suppertive and non-judgemental and I actually told him about my birthday and how my mother's call#upset me and he was like. yeah. same. and like... he's basically gone no contact with her as well as it turns out#idk. I really should give him more credit and like... I feel like there's so much shifting and change and development happening while I'm n#not there and sometimes it's hard to remember that he actually /could/ understand some things. just cause I've always been so used to not#sharing anything about myself because it wasn't safe when I was younger and... idk........ lots of emotions going on rn#so glad we talked though. so glad#simon.out.#if you read all this.... idk man.... sorry for oversharing but thanks for caring ig <3
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyways
#they KNOW its been the hardest year ive had so far why cant they cut me some slack!!!!!!!#i have never cried so much in a year nor have i felt so much stress and they KNOW that so why!!!!!#also has your father ever said Well this is your problem. you dont know yourself at all.#SIR I HAVE BEEN WORKING HARD IN THIS AREA TOO I KNOW MYSELF BETTER THAN YOU KNOW ME ?????????#which would be clear judging by how lightly you said that because if you knew me you would know how i hate being treated like a little girl#who knows nothing????? and not my mother hearing someone call me mature for my age#and then LAUGHING nonstop and then saying: mature? who? you??#GIRLS I AM HAVING A ROUGH TIME LOL PLEASE IGNORE THIS#i miss my friends so very much!!!! and my parents are always like dont value your friends too much they always leave but youll always have#family. well maybe so but my friends would never say things like that to me#anyways i am going to BED
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
with a few minutes' reflection and a second conversation with my parents I have realized that I may have overblown things and overreacted a bit and also in some ways they're correct even if I think they're also harsh about it
#we talked it out. i don't think they intended to be hurtful they're just trying to make me see how badly my pessimism#can impact others?? I think all three of us were pissed off during the first conversation#there's a lot of other stuff going on behind the scenes too that I don't want to talk about#but like. my parents aren't total jerks. when we aren't all being belligerent to each other we get along quite well#and I really do respect them quite a lot. some days we Do Not do well at Being A Good Family though#my dad did say that he's seen people apparently cringe away from me when I'm acting annoyed though#which... may honestly be true. I have a very readable face and if I'm upset people tend to notice#I just... I talked to them again and realized that I took that one thing to mean ''everyone hates you and is just pretending to be nice''#idk if I agree about what my mom says about me bringing a Vibe that brings the whole room down#I think that one may just be because she's so used to me complaining to her about everything bc I... do actually complain too much#but anyway. we resolved the argument. my initial ''my parents told me everyone dislikes me'' was uh... MY inference#and not actually the words they said#I also think I should stop complaining online so much. it's just letting the complaining spirit grow#re: my last post
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't remember how i stumbled across this interview but i've never seen anyone mention it so i'm dropping it here <3 it's a little dated but still like super valuable and a decently in depth look at higuchi-sensei's previous works and how she works and thinks as a mangaka... personally i think it's the most i've ever learned from an interview of hers. super interesting stuff :0)
#oofuri#higuchi asa#yuku tokoro#yasashii watashi#kazoku no sorekara#tw: suicide mention#and maybe i did jump out of my chair at the yuku tokoro mention. but i'll never tell#i love how she says basically u can't truly know a character without getting to know their family as well. a story progresses best this way#that's why she draws everyone's parents and siblings so thoughtfully in her work#wow and also.#that line abt how - after yasashii watashi - she received a letter from a fan saying it'd helped dissuade them from taking their own life?#and i think she says: 'and I remember thinking that maybe I drew this work because I wanted this answer' (?????)#very much used a translation app but#i respect her so much#pls skim if you'd like#ok one more. the line at the very end ->#'when they [abe & mihashi] met they both had their complexes. but after spending 3yrs together theyll arrive at....?'#ok well. boyfriendhood. next question.#she's so embarrassed at how long oofuri is taking her wkjakdjkjsd queen lift ur head...#i think she says something like 'homosexuality alcoholism and physical disabilities are all subjects I wanted to depict but it might be -#misleading to say im attracted to them' abt yuku tokoro. which i think is epic bc i take it to mean like. she wants to#represent these themes w/o fetishizing them#but she drew yuku tokoro first AND THEN had to go looking 'around the world' for somewhere to publish it bc it wasn't 'commercial'#so she just wanted to write it...........her mind....................... ok my god i could talk abt this forever
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy Father’s Day to Phoenix Wright and Herlock Sholmes and Yujin Mikotoba and no one else bc every other dad in AA sucks or dies
#AA really said adoptive dad rights and adoptive dad wrongs (MVK)#they’re all girldads too… curious…#seriously tho the dead parents rate in AA is kind of insane#this series is full of adoptions which is very cool as someone from a family with a few of those#it is much easier to name the characters that haven’t been adopted yk?#I think that’s why we queers like it so much#I’ve cracked the code#it has nothing to do with nearly every character being a little fruity#ace attorney#phoenix wright#tgaa#edit: correction- not including case specific dads who appear for like ten seconds let’s be real here#there are so many case exclusive characters I don’t have the space in my brain to remember them#all my brain storage is used on similarly useless information
39 notes
·
View notes
Note
Kinda in regards to the Empress & BodyGuard 2-
Is Zaphira (sorry if I spelled her name wrong) an elf or do humans have pointed ears in your universe? If no elves, how do the pointed ears happen? Are there different length of ears and if so do they mean somethin?
Love your art & use of colours!
Thank you! and thank you for asking! (this sketch took me way too long .. and the colors still look washed out on my desktop screen but im not editing a third time ..)
Zaphira is human, there are no elves, as such, in this world, though humans tend to live longer than IRL and have differently shaped ears-
the shapes are rather diverse (example above) and culturally (so far) they have no significance, they are merely a trait just like different nose shapes or fantasy hair colors
the worldbuilding reason is that these are extremely diluted demonic influences- in the past demons were frequently in the human world, though largely in secret/disguised, and long time exposure to demonic presences can have varying effects, the most immediate and common being a longer life or wounds healing faster than normal; there might have been other long time effects but the only trait that stayed even after their disappearance is the ear shapes
(there was a mass extinction event of demons that wiped out all above a certain age, since demons generally dont die of natural causes their life neither depends nor revolves around reproduction so there were extremely few left and those were too young to keep most of their knowledge and culture alive, as they rarely wrote anything down; Shargon is of the current oldest generation and witnessed it happen, just like most now adult demons, Thor and Eadrya are both a bit older than him and thus the oldest living demons, which doesnt mean much considering the technically endless lifespans of them)
and to explain me including Shargon in a human appearance- hes the only demon that spends as much time in the human world as at home, largely to escape the others since they are not interested in going there and would otherwise attack him any chance they get (the human world is rather uncomfortable for demons to be in and they have better things to do than to chase him that far), while hes generally very weak compared to them, something he is very good at is shape shifting, mainly the speed of which, being able to shift between full demon and the smaller more humanoid form extremely quickly, or even mid forms that are a mix of both - even in motion! while for the others it takes them quite a bit and forces them to stop which is the main reason he keeps escaping them not able to keep up with his rapid shape shifting (though it does take its toll .. also a reason hes so skinny)
he is the first (only?) one that at some point will learn how to shift into a much more human looking one (depicted in the sketch) too, but its rather dangerous since it involves supressing and compressing his demon heart and system... which is what keeps demons alive (its somewhat like holding your breath for way too long) so the only time he would make use of it is in extreme situations, like avoiding detection by maschines that can pick up demonic energy or escaping shackles made of celestial silver (which drains their energy and can scar/hurt them permanently, like silver to vampires(?werewolfs?) in a way)
....the point is that if he shifts into a human form he has very long ears, meaning that is basically the extreme form that doesnt occur in humans and hints at the origins for those ear shapes being demonic exposure in the past
#ganondoodles#art#original characters#original art#oc#ocs#oc lore#man i cant ever keep it short can i#its 1am again ............#welll i hope that answers your question njdflndflnjlsd#also as a sidenote- zaphira and midas are siblings but not biologically#she was adopted into the royal family and is good chunk older than midas as he was born a while after shes been there#he was supposed to take the throne after their parents died in an allegedly accidental fire but he was like ... 6 at the time#and begged her to take up the throne instead despite the people not being very fond of her due to her agressive nature#.... which was proven correct in a way given she waged war for many years after taking up the crown#(.. bc she found out their parents were killed by a neighbouring country and the fire placed to get rid of traces)#(no one but her and a few officials knew of that being the real reason she attacked that country and not just a lust for power)#(midas still doesnt know -even now)#( though it got out of control and she ended up taking over multiple countries .. hence her title)#(after her wife died she swore to never engage in war again and been spending the last .. 20?30? years trying to repair the damage she did)#just adding that again bc its kinda central to her entire problem of everyone and their grandmother wanting her dead#and her being determined to do as much as she can before midas has to take over and pick up the pieces#..............though none of it goes as planned of course#ANYWAY i need sleep#sorry for the long text spam#i cant help but yap about my special lil guys
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
carlo's inherent tragedy as a character means that if he hadn't died young he would've gone through something worse. the horrifying realization that he inherited his father's personality <3
#lies of p#geppetto is over and over mentioned and shown to be a very stubborn man.#and the little we see of carlo.... it works.... he was in fact kind of a bull-headed little brat.#and everyone knows how much parents with strong personalities ~loooooooove~ when their kids. get it from them.#i'm not ragging on carlo. the basis of personality that is inherited is not the sole defining factor in what a person is like--#--and what is developed & changed by one's experiences would make them very different people still.#THAT SAID: i do think carlo achieving his little dream of being The Best Stalker In The World WOULD put him at risk of.#going down the same path his dear old man did :^)#there's something about being at the top of your field and what being the unquestioned authority in all that pertains to it can--#--very easily make one close-minded and set in their ways. it's probably what happened with geppetto.#i mean if my timeline is right he fucked with venigni's grand covenant long before he needed to enact mass murder to resurrect his son.#which to me speaks of him considering only himself as a trustworthy authority for a long time.#the tags in these posts really are the main feature now huh. sorry about that i just like talking here better.👍its like a secret post.#anyway. LOVE YOU DEAD BOY
91 notes
·
View notes
Text
hi! birthday. which means it's finally time t
yo what the itch store is fixed up now
damn what? I don't know where this came from. look all the comics I put on g*mr**d a year ago are back here again with all the formatting and typesetting by @fireflysummers as well as the exclusive bonus art wtf who did this. my werewolf comic on here too what the hells!! that one also got re-toned for printing if u want to AND an exclusive cover spread !!! what the fuck!!!!! come see for urself I can't make this shit up
#bakuspecial#comic#itch.io#bakugoods#<- made up a tag for when I sell things that aren't commissions just now#for folks who still remember me talking abt a physical run of these comics: I'm so sorry this year and the last have been brutal#and I live in a well and suffer a curse of international mails never going well. so the logistics became Very complicated#I still think abt it tho! I've prepped up all the assets just bc I thought abt it so much... we picked out a gift print for the orders#And a bonus print for the pack#but I couldn't gather my brain enough to make it happen. yet#it takes a bit of overhead so I gotta build that up. which is. right now talk for after the shit that just happened to me got smoothed out#but I do want it to happen. I've been sitting on this exclusive custom print for like two years now#I really love that drawing its so cute. I still hold that project close to my heart#anyways uhh itch store! happy birthday to me!#last year this time was so rough I didn't even Want to think about my birthday lol#strangely enough with this small little fragmentation grenade we just got I became more motivated to fuck around on my bday lmao#probably out of spite. hammer philosophy#my parents love making a whole thing out of me and the brother's bdays lol so dinner's gonna be something#but for now I can still chill. and prep up stuff. and do my thang#if u look thru the itch store and get something from there thank u so much! I hope the comics treat u well#and now. I make hot drink. have a good day lads! do a little jig for us let's go
81 notes
·
View notes
Text
they should've made my brother the older of the two of us. i mean he's smarter, he's cooler, he's bigger, he looks better than me, he's more determined than me, more analytical, more disciplined. of course, that'd mean I'd shrink into the background of my life like a rather pitiful peanut but hey, at least I'd have an excuse for it this time around
#i was... not okay. for a lot of my teen years. my parents had to keep so much attention on me#which. frankly didn't even work either. i don't think they were the right parents to grow a trans kid. for all they clearly love me & i too#they just didn't have the resources. but just bc their efforts didn't work that didn't mean my bro got any less the short end of the stick#and that's not fair. he deserved all the time and attention i got. hell he deserved twice as much. the kid's a legend. it wasn't fair#he's younger than me and probably already twice the person I'll ever be#it's incredible what a good man he turned out despite it all. i wish#. I don't know. I don't know what i wish. I don't feel very good about myself today#i wish i got to know him more. back then. instead of being all fucked up in the head. i look at other siblings we know and i just#i feel like that door closed up on us. and i hate it. i hate it so much
37 notes
·
View notes