#which makes me fragile

[wifegideonnav]

homestuck is getting SAD and i don’t WANT THIS i want to read about shitty children lovingly bullying each other i don’t want to watch them sobbing over each other’s corpses :/

[ladyinthebluebox]

i'm starting to sense a certain pattern here...

[bunnihearted]

why is life nothing but misery and pain for some people?

[doodlejoltik]

my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator

[caterjunes]

what is it about lesbian media that fills me with the heaviest & most profound sadness in the pit of my stomach, in my throat, under my heart.

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

today just will not let me rest huh. reasons are in the tags but i get very emotional just be warned

[haveyouplayedthisgame]

No Man's Sky

[intertexts]

i need 2 be on a boat or a dock at sunset. that would fix me i think.

[not-poignant]

Jesus H Christopher, Pia. Your writing load is insane.

Maybe you should cut back on how many chapters you release for certain stories? Like Stain and Palma (since these stories dont equal income) until UtB the other Underline stories are almost done. Just a thought

Because I feel burnt out just by thinking of writing that much, so I can only imagine how you feel. Please take care of yourself

Hi anon,

TL;DR: My brain is stupid, which is why I can't do this, even though it makes sense and is logical.

Unfortunately the fanfiction is what often makes the original fiction possible, or more enjoyable.

If I lock myself down into too much schedule and rigidity, or if I only focus on writing for money, I actually start to hate writing, even if I love the stories. There is nothing like 'will this earn money, do people like this, would people pay, what if they all decide to stop paying for this, why would they pay for this, would I pay for this, how much would people pay for this, is there any incentive for them to pay for this, actually if I wrote a ton of different tropes maybe I'd make more for this, but that's depressing, but I need the money, shit what do I do, what if I lose my income, what if it all stops tomorrow, I need to write more, I need to write more, I need to write more' that is actually very exhausting and makes writing not much fun at all.

And to deliberately break out of that headspace as much as possible, I write fanfiction. Because that headspace (the one I wrote about above), on its own, even if I'm only writing two stories, can and has led to burnout and depressive episodes. I don't recommend it.

In a way, one of the reasons I can write so many stories right now (ADHD meds aside) is that I am letting myself break out and just have fun with fanfiction, and remember that my original writing is meant to be fun too. But without fanfiction, I lose sight of that very quickly.

Fanfiction means that when an original story chapter does super badly, generally there are still excited comments elsewhere that keep me going. That's how I survived The Ice Plague, and that story would never have been completed without fanfiction, because that was my worst performer of any story I've ever written. It also means if a lot of subscribers leave at once, I don't feel like The Worst Writer In The World. So having fanfiction behind me was like...a literal safety net or my security blanket.

If I have to discard my security blankets or use them less often in order to keep writing the original stuff, I might as well just stop entirely, because my longest hiatuses from Patreon (i.e. one lasted 1.5 years, many have lasted 4-6 months) have been when I'm mostly just writing original fiction, and am not writing much fanfiction, or not deliberately finding time for it, and finally get so stressed out re: money I literally have to stop. I'm on a (partial) Disability Pension.

A long time ago some professional people told me I probably shouldn't be working at all because of my mental illnesses and then paid me money because of the severity of those mental illnesses. My dumbass brain be pretty fragile, actually, and keeps chugging away because I make bad business decisions and write stuff I enjoy instead of writing to market, or doing rapid release, or releasing more novels (or novels). Writing does ironically help when I'm stressed, but not when I'm stressed about making money because of writing.

I will cut at my income before I cut at my love of this job, and unfortunately fanfiction keeps me going in this job, which means I can't really cut at that first.

(Also from a business perspective, it's actually a very good funnel to the original stuff and then subscription. Most of you wouldn't be here if you hadn't read one of my fanfics first and then gave the original stuff a try - I try not to think about that too much because I need fanfic to not be about money, but the fact is, I would not have this career without fanfic).

I do have plans to take two weeks off in January from posting chapters (I can still post rewards in the second half of January) and that's not too far away.

And the reality is that I probably would have kept going okay if real life hadn't imploded on top of everything like the world's worst bukkake party.

[ctrl-lupin]

Yes, I would be very interested hearing your head canon (@tim-ribbert-56) (in response to this post)

I have decided for my personal entertainment that Clarisse de Cagliostro is related to Lupin III, and here's why.

-pulls out Arsène Lupin's Wikipedia page-

In the novel La Comtesse de Cagliostro, a young Arsène Lupin (at the time going by the name Raoul d'Andrésy) was courting Clarisse d'Etigues, a young lady of a well-to-do family, and trying to win her hand, despite her father's disapproval.

Throughout the course of the novel, Lupin meets and falls in love with Joséphine Balsamo, aka the Countess of Cagliostro, and abandons Clarisse in favour of her. To clarify, Joséphine is not actually countess of anything, she is (or claims to be) a descendant of Giuseppe Balsamo aka the Count of Cagliostro (who was also count of jack shit), a famous conman from the 18th century.

Shenanigans ensue, which I will not go into in details on, but oh my god I am insane about Raoul and Joséphine, I want to dissect them and study them under a microscope. It turns out Joséphine aka Cagliostro is evil as fuck, Raoul/Lupin realizes that and goes back to Clarisse (whom he had previously abandoned like an old sock, I fucking hate this guy), marries her, and a few years later has her kid.

Unfortunately Clarisse dies in childbirth, and Joséphine, who was still around and very very pissed at Lupin (and jealous as hell of Clarisse whom, may I mention, had never personally antagonized her in any way whatsoever, Joséphine is just fucking bonkers). Joséphine also kidnaps Lupin and Clarisse's son, Jean, and raises him as her own son. (I have not yet read the following novel The revenge of Cagliostro so I don't really know what Jean's deal is, I just know he's an antagonist).

The following is my headcanon, based on these events. In the universe of Lupin III, Joséphine Balsamo was actually countess of the small kingdom of Cagliostro (maybe Giuseppe was count, maybe he conned his way into becoming count, maybe he bought the land and built a fake kingdom with a fake history, who knows).

After the events of The revenge of Cagliostro, Jean settles down in the country of Cagliostro, gets married, has a child, and that child will later have a daughter of their own, who they name Clarisse, after their late grandmother. Clarisse de Cagliostro, of Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro fame, would thus be the great-grand-daughter of Arsène Lupin, making her Lupin III's cousin/niece/whatever you call this specific degree of separation.

I am choosing to make Clarisse de Cagliostro a great-granddaughter of Arsène Lupin, rather than a granddaughter, because Arsène Lupin was very young when the events I described unfolded: he is 20 years old when he meets Clarisse d'Etigues and the whole Cagliostro debacle happens, and 25 by the time Jean is born. I'm assuming he had Lupin II much later in his life. So Jean and Lupin II (half-brothers) would have a significant difference in age, and so Jean's hypothetical child (grandchild of Arsène Lupin, so of the same generation of Lupin III) would be much older than Lupin III. Clarisse de Cagliostro is younger than him, maybe around the same age if you stretch it, so she's have to be a great-grandchild.

Now I need to read The revenge of Cagliostro and study Arsène Lupin's wikipedia page in more detail to determine when exactly Lupin II was born and who his mother was. And also where Albert's family branched out, because the fact that he's called D'Andrésy should theoretically place him as a descendant of Arsène Lupin's mother but not of Arsène Lupin himself; but Jean was also going by that last name, so who fucking knows.

No I am not insane I promise, I am just a gigantic nerd.

[therosevest]

for months i genuinely wholeheartedly could not tell the 911 guys apart and this is so important for me to stress bc throughout my life i have prided myself on being able to tell twins apart really easily and liking being that person to connect faces to other things ive watched or honestly just seen in passing like i could track down a random commercial actress and shit and i mean i suppose part of that is not knowing their characters and they just twin all the time but i apologize still im aware that mans last name is diaz and now i feel like im sitting here laid up @ all the tumblr lesbians like haha damn so thats buck x eddie? that said idk if im like happy i know any of this.

[the-girl-who-didnt-smile]

(SCRAPPED CONCEPT) THE BARON OF DEATH

This is a Scrapped Concept, for reasons I describe here: https://www.deviantart.com/thegirlwhodidntsmile/art/Scrapped-Concept-Maman-la-Vie-dress-1-1086509787 

My Biggest L… This was an incredibly tasteless concept that I truly regret, founded on ignorance and poor research. If for some reason you wanted to review the original commentary, it can be found in its original state below.

This is my take on a “Baron Samedi”/"Papa Gede"-type Hazbin Hotel character.

Extended commentary below:

I want to make this very clear right from the jump: This character is not actually Baron Samedi. The whole joke with him is that there is literally a trope on TvTropes.org about how everyone steals the look of Baron Samedi, because he’s literally got the most legendary Scary Skeleton Man drip of all time.

The actual Baron Samedi is just: 

Everyone thinks he’s the Scary Skeleton Man, until THIS GUY walks in the room!

This guy’s got the coolest look EVER!!!

Show me one man more SCARY and SKELETON than this man!

SCARY!

SKELETON!

MAN!

Immaculate drip. I have no notes.

Admittedly, this is more how he is portrayed in popular media than how he actually looks, where he gets mixed up with Papa Gede and other stuff. But yeah. Top hat, cigar, skull for a face. He looks so fucking cool. I would totally put him on my pirate crew!

So my Deviantart OC didn't just steal his look, he stole his name too. He is the Borrowin' Samedi King!

With that out of the way, MAN… This guy was SO CHALLENGING to try to design! I am really bad at this… I just fumbled on his face - his face should look WAY cooler than this! A LOT of things could be tweaked here. If you put a Baron Samedi-type character into the show, he literally has to have the coolest look of any character in all of the Hellaverse.

HE CANNOT BE DISCOUNT D. OCTOR FACILIER!!!!!!! 

The universal reaction to this man has to be: “OH SHIT! This guy looks so fucking cool he’s going in my pirate crew I’m making him my first mate!”

 …Sadly, I am just far too lame and cringe to not fail this assignment… He looks SO MUCH cooler in my brain because his entire outfit is WAY more detailed than this! He is just covered in skull and skeleton details EVERYWHERE! That cross he’s got on his hat has little skull details in it. There are details ALL over his coat, and the bracelet he wears on his left hand is detailed too. The skull he has tattooed on his face is WAY more detailed than shown, but you have to simplify everything down because he’s a cartoon character. Unfortunately, it’s just really hard for me to select which traits to simplify and which traits not to. But I still wanted to take a stab at it, because it bothers me so much that people get Baron Samedi mixed up with Papa Legba. We have American Horror Story to thank for that…

As I have written elsewhere, I have struggled to find definitive evidence that Baron Samedi (or Papa Gede, or Kalfou) were worshiped in New Orleans prior to the revitalization movement of the late 20th century. I hypothesize that one of two things is true: 

In Haiti, the Dahomean trickster deity Legba did not refract into Papa Legba, Kalfou, Papa Gede, and Baron Samedi until after the Haitian Revolution. As such, Kalfou, Papa Gede, and Baron Samedi were never transmitted to America during the post-Revolution migration wave. 

In Haiti, the Dahomean trickster deity Legba refracted into Papa Legba, Kalfou, Papa Gede, and Baron Samedi before the Haitian Revolution. There is no record of worship of Papa Gede, Kalfou, or Baron Samedi because they were worshiped in secret.

I actually it is plausible that #2 is correct, especially with respect to Papa Gede. 19th- and 20th-century sources describe a top hat-wearing “Devil” and purple robes to honor a “Spirit of Death” . These details align with the description of the Haitian Papa Gede, as he appeared in the 1940s. I could be wrong, but I think Dahomean Legba might have split into Papa Legba and Papa Gede (and possibly the “great big black man” - Kalfou) before the Haitian Revolution!

Granted, the evidence is not entirely conclusive. It could be a Damballah/Grand Zombi situation, where these deities resemble Papa Gede but aren’t actually him. For this reason, one could argue that Ogou Feray (or even Agassu and Ayizan Velekete) should replace Baron Samedi and Maman Brigitte in the five-member jazz band. Especially Ogou Feray. 

I decided to include Baron Samedi (and Maman Brigitte) for several key reasons, including:

His widespread popularity.

One of the Loa (Hazbin Hotel) must embody the spirits of the dead, due to the importance of ancestor veneration in New Orleans Voodoo.

As the Loa of the Dead, he is actually the one who fits best into the world of Hazbin Hotel, which takes place in the afterlife.

My desire to delineate him from Papa Legba.

The Real Hell mechanic, which should totally be his signature move!

For now, I am operating under the assumption that Papa Gede might have been worshiped as “the Spirit of Death” / “The Devil” in America. If I am wrong about this, just…just let me get out that clown makeup… Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a lot of information about “the Devil” in the “high silk hat”, or the “Spirit of Death” that Marie Laveau might have worshiped. Since Hazbin Hotel takes place in a fictional setting with its own mythology, this character cannot be the actual Baron Samedi, or Papa Gede. Because Alastor was born right at the end of the 19th century, I think the “Spirit of Death” should embody the angered, ancestral spirits of New Orleans, who were persecuted and targeted by raids following the Haitian Revolution - especially in the years leading up to the Civil War. I have chosen to make him AFAB / female-to-male transgender because the primary targets of these raids were Black and AFAB (I elaborate on this later).

In creating this character, I attempted to incorporate elements from Haitian Vodou. This is to honor his origins as a Haitian deity. Many of the lwa – such as Papa Legba, Damballah, and Ogou Feray – can trace their origins back to Dahomean and/or Yoruba mythology. The Gede (and by extension, the Bawons) are unique in that they are native to Haiti.  

To quote Zora Neale Hurston’s Tell My Horse (1938):  

Guedé has another distinction. It is the one loa which is entirely Haitian. There is neither European nor African background for it. It sprang up or was called up by some local need and now is firmly established among the blacks.

This character is not actually Baron Samedi, but can be viewed as a tribute to two different Haitian deities: Baron Samedi and Papa Gede. Ironically, I think he’s probably got more Papa Gede in him than Baron Samedi, though he’s definitely supposed to combine elements from both. More broadly, he is a tribute to the Gede and Bawons as a whole, as the actual Baron Samedi rules over the Gede. In real life, Baron Samedi and Papa Gede are not the same deity, but in this fictional work I think it’s prudent to merge them into one character. I just don’t see how you can work both of them into Hazbin Hotel when the cast is already so packed. (This might be the one L I have ever taken in my entire goddamn life…!)

I have more to say on this matter, but in a nutshell: If you put the Loa in Hazbin Hotel, I think it’s a huge mistake to limit them to how they are portrayed in New Orleans Voodoo. In real life, the lwa are worshiped all across the African diaspora. As such, the Loa themselves should pull from multiple traditions, such as New Orleans Voodoo, Haitian Vodou, Santería, etc... That way, you can naturally introduce characters from other regions of the diaspora (e.g. The Caribbean, West Africa, Latin America…) who also worship and use the magic of the Loa (and Orisha). In real life, it is important not to conflate these religions. But because Hazbin Hotel does not take place in the real world, I think it is totally warranted to do this. 

Granted, it is very important to document which elements come from which tradition, so that non-casual fans can learn about the differences between New Orleans Voodoo, Haitian Vodou, Santería, etc…

As for the non-Haitian elements, this character is designed to embody every aspect of New Orleans Voodoo (Vodou) that was feared and branded as “evil” by the white, slave-owning class. He also personifies the aforementioned spirits of the dead, as ancestor veneration has always been such an important aspect of New Orleans Vodou. “Big Papa” serves as commentary on the demonization of the real-life Papa Legba (and by extension, Vodou as a whole); “The Baron” is commentary on the misrepresentation of Vodou as “black magic”.

I must stress that my Original Character Do Not StealTM is VERY different from the deities who inspired him. The same can be said for “Big Papa”. There are many differences between them and the actual deities! I just want The Baron to be a crazy One Piece character that can kill anyone by touching them and make black holes of torture… HE MUST BE BIG PAPA”S FIRST MATE!!!!!

I totally think the single coolest mechanic that could be introduced to Hazbin Hotel is Real Hell. That should 100% be the signature move of The Loa of the Dead from Voodoo. Real Hell is in fact Baron Samedi (Hazbin Hotel)’s signature move. It’s called ETERNAL TORMENT, where he slows down time exponentially from your perspective while he rips apart your soul in the most excruciating way possible. In other words, you experience torture forever. It is Real Hell. 

I know this is not how time dilation actually works. It’s not really a black hole, it just looks like a black hole because black holes are cool as fuck!

There are a couple of other people who can make The Black Hole of Torture, but they can only make one at a time. (I am going to cry myself to sleep every night if ALASTOR RA D. IO D. EMON doesn’t know how to make REAL HELL!!!) It is very difficult for them to make even one of these Black Holes. On the other hand, it is really easy for The Loa of DEATH to make these BLACK HOLES OF TORTURE. If you think about it, this is actually a really weak move for THE GOD OF DEATH, as it only destroys a single human soul. This is the man who can kill EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE instantaneously without breaking a sweat!! That’s why it’s a similar situation to BIG PAPA’s inter-dimensional portals, where he can make trillions of these BLACK HOLES OF TORTURE all at once, without any difficulty at all. 

He turns his head into a SKULL (as in, an actual SKULL!) and swallows the BLACK HOLES when he’s done. He literally feeds off pain and fear! For this reason he also likes to pop into people’s dreams and infect them with horrifying nightmares. (In real life, the lwa are described as communicating with humans via dreams)

Baron Samedi (Hazbin Hotel) is THE GOD OF DEATH, for he can kill a human by looking at them, touching them, or standing near them. He radiates death because his magic - BLACK MAGIC - is simply DEATH itself. He is actually restraining his power by a HUGE AMOUNT all of the time; if he stopped restraining his power, he could kill every human in existence all at once, VERY easily!

His role in the Hellaverse is to serve as the grim reaper. As THE GOD OF DEATH, he moves freely between the living and the afterlife. He actually has complete control over who lives and dies, as a human does not actually die until he touches their soul with his Scary Skeleton Hands! (or just looks at them hard) (or just stands close to them) (or just wills them to die) (usually he just appears out of nowhere and touches you with his Scary Skeleton Hands because he’s not that creative, but he has TONS of different ways he can kill you!) Due to his extremely ruthless and sadistic nature, you really have to be in his good graces for him not to kill you or your loved ones. He really likes killing people! But he’s very wise, and he really doesn’t want to get fired from his job (he loves killing people!) so he generally doesn’t kill people before it’s their time. Every human sees him at least once, but most humans are so terrified of him that they black out the memory. He escorts all souls to their final destination: Heaven or Hell. 

There is also a third option - The Underworld. This is a primordial realm that he personally rules, populated by the Gede. Very few people go to the Underworld, as he only offers this to his favorite humans, and he doesn’t give a shit about the vast majority of humans! There is a great benefit to joining the Gede, as those who join are personally empowered by the killing and healing magic of the Baron and Maman. This makes them much stronger than ordinary angels and demons! However, most people decide not to join the Gede, either because they are too scared / distrusting of the Baron, or because they want to rejoin their family in Heaven. As a consequence of this, the vast majority of those who join the Gede are Black, dark-skinned, and LGBTQ - specifically, those who didn’t have anyone waiting for them in Heaven.

On the subject of his Scary Skeleton Hands, those are made out of his magic, which is literally the color black. He is not actually the scary skeleton man, but a giant spirit made of black-colored magic! So his “hair” is not actually hair, it’s magic. One of his bullshit anime superpowers is that he can concentrate his black-colored magic into spikes of pure PAIN, or other shapes. Do you have any idea how STRONG this guy’s magic is? HE”S THE GOD WITH THE HIGHEST ATTACK STAT!!! You really don’t want to get fucked on by this guy…! If there’s enough of his magic that is super-concentrated into three-dimensional space, so much so that a human eye can see it, it just does INFINITE DAMAGE to a fragile human soul. That’s what he’s doing with his hands and hair. 

If you ever touch his hands or hair, you’re super dead!

While he is extremely ruthless and sadistic, The Baron is not actually evil. He killed Anne Frank AND Adolf Hitler! He is neither Good nor Evil, and is actually very wise. The only people smarter than this guy are just completely next-level and insane in their intelligence. Due to his OUTRAGEOUSLY high power level, he’s a really good ally to have in your corner!

He is the tallest of the Loa that isn’t a fucking Gary Stu and has the deepest voice. I haven’t defined his height yet, but he’s supposed to be roughly a head taller than Big Papa and a bit taller than Zestial (Big Papa likes to shapeshift his height a lot, but his default height is around a head shorter than The Baron…at least, there is a visible height gap that is no more than a head) Zestial is a pretty good approximation for how tall he is, although he is slightly taller than him. To be precise, this is how he appears before humans. Heights get NUTS in Hazbin Hotel, so when he’s around non humans he’ll make his height taller. He’s just a crazy One Piece character in terms of height! His voice is somehow very rough and very suave at the same time. 

He has two musical themes to him: heavy metal and rap/hip hop. While he loves hip hop, his single favorite musical genre is heavy metal. But he’s not just from any heavy metal scene. He is specifically inspired by the underground metal scene from Botswana. That’s why he’s got chains and cowboy boots on.

Those guys look so fucking cool.

They all wear cowboy hats.

This is the best fashion trend since zoots!

It is probably impossible for him to pick a single favorite metal band. But if you forced him to answer, on a given day the probability is highest that he would say Judas Priest. He can play all their songs on the electric guitar. His coat is supposed to make him look a bit like Rob Halford, specifically this fit:

I don’t think the Judas Priest influence is obvious enough, so he also has Judas Priest on the bottom of his boot. 

He really likes Judas Priest. (His voice is WAY THE FUCK deeper than Rob Halford’s though!!) But he loves tons of other bands too. The skull he wears on his belt is inspired by a Motörhead Warpig. He can play pretty much any quality metal track on the electric guitar. I also want him to look a bit like a Battle Angel Alita character, because Battle Angel Alita is METAL AS HELL!

Did you know that Alita’s younger brother is female-to-male transgender?

Baron’s second favorite musical genre is rap/hip hop, specifically West Coast hip hop. Because I am FULLY INSANE I have thought up an alternate universe of an alternate timeline of American history where the boys aren’t gods, they’re humans instead. In this alternate universe of an alternate timeline of American history, Baron is actually not from New Orleans. He’s a dude who immigrated from Haiti to Los Angeles when he was like 5 years old (originally, he was going to be from South Africa, but Haiti makes more sense. this has been retconned!). How the fuck did he end up in New Orleans? That’s a story for another time! But this is why it’s specifically West Coast hip hop. His single favorite hip hop artist is Tupac Shakur. 

I decided to link him to Tupac after reading Zora Neale Hurston’s description of Papa Gede, found in Tell My Horse (1938):  

One can see the hand of the Haitian peasant in that boisterous god, Guedé, because he does and says the things that the peasants would like to do and say. You can see him in the market women, in the domestic servant who now and then appears before her employer “mounted” by this god who takes occasion to say many stinging things to the boss. You can see him in the field hand, and certainly in the group of women about a public well or spring, chattering, gossiping and dragging out the shortcomings of their employers and the people like him. Nothing in Haiti is quite so obvious as that this loa is the deification of the common people of Haiti. The mulattoes give this spirit no food and pay it no attention at all. He belongs to the blacks and the uneducated blacks at that. He is a hilarious divinity and full of the stuff of burlesque. This manifestation comes as near a social criticism of the classes by the masses as anything in all Haiti. Guedé has another distinction. It is the one loa which is entirely Haitian. There is neither European nor African background for it. It sprang up or was called up by some local need and now is firmly established among the blacks.

Papa Gede is not just associated with sexual/gender minorities, but the Black proletariat. In a similar fashion, Tupac - really, the genre of hip hop as a whole - was a voice for those at the bottom of race and class hierarchies. The profanity of the genre alienates the privileged classes, but the wisdom speaks to the poor and Black. This is why his shirtless appearance is specifically inspired by the album cover of All Eyez On Me. But unlike Tupac, he wears a black inverted cross. Technically, they are shape-shifting crosses. At the beginning of time, they looked like regular crosses, but by the end of the 19th century, he switched the default state to an inverted cross. He shapeshifts them between regular and inverted crosses, depending on who he is talking to.

His second favorite hip hop artist is Kendrick Lamar. One of the weird things about this dude is that he doesn’t actually have hair. He just makes magic come out of his head! Don’t think too hard about this… But if he was a human, his hairstyle should a bit like this photo of Kendrick Lamar: 

If you are wondering why his cross is inverted, it is because the resident Voodoo magic wielder - Alastor - features a prominent black, inverted cross on his chest. I assume there is a reason for this. If not, let…let me just get out that clown nose…! But if we approach Alastor from a realistic perspective, his black inverted cross must have significance, as he must have been raised Catholic by his mother. The coolest (and dare I say, most logical!) explanation for this trait would be if he’s resentful of the white Catholic church, who harassed, raided, and persecuted his people! 

Assuming Alastor’s inverted cross has narrative significance, The Baron has chosen to wear inverted crosses as a deliberate challenge to the white Catholic church. He is not critical of the Black Catholics who worship him, but despises the white Catholics who persecuted the Vodouisants. If you are one of the few people he actually likes and you are Catholic / Christian, he shapeshifts the crosses to make it look like regular crosses. Many of the things he does seem to be obscenity for the sake of obscenity, when they are actually full of hidden wisdom. For example, his magic is the color black as a jab at those who believe Vodou is “black magic”. He constantly indulges in sexual orgies as a “fuck you” to the newspapers who defamed Vodouisants with false accusations of sexual orgies. Everything about his physical form is designed to inspire hatred and fear in those who enslaved his people. This “hidden wisdom” is actually something he shares with the real life Gede and hip hop artists – both known for gratuitous profanity that is actually deliberate social commentary!

The ideal person to voice him would be someone with a really cool, rough, deep voice, who LOVES West Coast hip hop and heavy metal, who really knows how to rap, and he doesn’t have to be transgender. Like, bro… He’s been on testosterone for over a decade… We are so far past “you sound so masculine”.

The skeleton markings he has tattooed onto his body are inspired by the Chimbu tribe of Papua New Guinea. I already mentioned this, but top surgery scars are not normally this disfiguring. He just likes disfiguring himself ON PURPOSE to make himself look as freakish and frightening as possible! Additionally, the skulls he forms with his magic (shown here and here) are inspired by the paintings of Frantz Zéphirin, specifically the piece Death is about to carry out two contracts.

As a tribute to the Gede as a whole, Baron embodies every aspect of masculine sexuality - especially that which is taboo. This is one reason he has chosen to assume the form of a female-to-male transsexual. The more important reason is to inspire fear.

The demonization of Black female sexuality factors greatly into the persecution of New Orleans Vodou. Following the Haitian Revolution, the white ruling class became scared of the power the lwa and gris-gris could have to inspire slave insurrections. Slanderous, sensationalist news pieces spread - especially in the years leading up to the Civil War, when paranoia reached a peak. This is why New Orleans Voodoo has a bad name – even to this day! It’s not because Voodoo is actually evil, but because the community was aggressively defamed and persecuted by white authorities due to the threat it posed to “the safety of the institution of slavery”. Tragically, this attitude spread into the African American community, which is why the word “voodoo” is sometimes used as a synonym for “black magic” / “bad work”. This forced Vodouisants to go underground, which is why New Orleans Voodoo remains a closed religion in the present day. 

Two of the most common types of accusations lodged against Vodouisants were false claims of sexual orgies and prostitution. These were generally directed against Voodoo priestesses, especially Black priestesses. The Black high priestess Betsy Toledano - a figure who has been pushed to the margins of history - was a main target of the raids that took place during the mid 19th century. The late and great Marie Laveau largely (but by no means exclusively!) served white and light-skinned clients, but Betsy Toledano was known for serving a diverse crowd. The Daily Crescent vividly described her followers like so (as you can imagine, the language is super racist): 

"Great was the scattering of the inmates of the rude chapel in which the legends of motherland were chaunted in Ethiopia's choicest strains-- and quickly did the police pursue the dusky forms which flitted hither and thither, to avoid the clutches of the Law! The assemblage was composed of every grade of color, from the lightest tinge of the flat-nosed race to the brightest ebony that ever glowed in the cotton field."

Source: “The Rites of Voudou”. The Daily Crescent. (New Orleans, LA), Jul. 31 1850, p. 3 https://www.loc.gov/resource/sn82015378/1850-07-31/ed-1/?sp=3 

Among those she served were enslaved, dark-skinned Black women, including a girl (possibly, woman) who was literally named “Darkie”. She was one of the enslaved girls/women arrested alongside Toledano:

"The parties taken into custody were Betsy Toledano, a free colored woman, and two slave girls, Leonora, belonging to Mr. Grivot, and Darkie, belonging to Mr. McCracken...A number of colored women were present, who escaped. Betsy Toledano, the chief priestess of the heathen temple, stoutly defended the ceremonies from any wrong construction; said that its signs and symbols were derived from the mother-land, and that the incantations were harmless...The charge in this case was that of an unlawful assemblage of free people and slaves, and on this charge the accused are required to answer at a future day."

Source: “The Rites of Voudou”. The Daily Crescent. (New Orleans, LA), Jul. 31 1850, p. 3 https://www.loc.gov/resource/sn82015378/1850-07-31/ed-1/?sp=3 

This is not the only time Toledano was harassed and arrested. In A New Orleans Voudou Priestess (2007), Carolyn Morrow Long describes how Toledano was repeatedly targeted by white reporters and law enforcement, accused of luring “respectable women” into harlotry. 

It is due to this history that The Baron has chosen to inhabit an AFAB body. It is an intentional choice to embody everything white, Christian slave owners feared and hated about Voodoo – including, in the most literal sense, the sex organs of the Black female.

(In the deepest lore of my non-canon fanfiction, all of the Loa (Hazbin Hotel) are lesser gods that have existed since the beginning of time. But as the Loa of the Dead, The Baron can somehow merge the spirits of the dead into him… It is weirdly implied that Besty Tole D. Ano and the two enslaved girls/women (and others) are somehow Steven’s Universe fused into this guy. But in this crazy alternate timeline, I guess Toledano was enslaved for at least the beginning of her life…!)

(But ironically, this guy totally settled on an FTM trans avatar way back at the beginning of time, because he knows it freaks humans out and he thinks orgasms feel best in this form…!) I’m goin on ALL SORTS of tangents now, but the politics of race might actually explain why it is difficult to find clear evidence that Baron Samedi / Papa Gede were worshiped by Vodouisants of 19th Century New Orleans. As previously quoted, Papa Gede was a favorite deity of poor, Black Haitians, and is usually depicted as dark-skinned. Being Creole, Marie Laveau may have neglected to worship him, in favor of Damballah, who is often depicted as light-skinned. This may explain why “the Devil” in the “high silk hat” is found among the poor African Americans of the South, rather than Marie Laveau and her followers. As I have written elsewhere, it might be relevant that “the Devil” was often described as a less evil entity by African Americans from the South.

Because he is similar to the real-life Papa Gede, Baron is essentially a spirit of masculine sexuality itself. By inhabiting an AFAB body, he immediately transforms it into an aggressively masculine and sexual trans man. He is also LGBTQ to draw historical parallels between 19th century raids of Voodoo ceremonies and the 20th century raids of gay and lesbian bars. 

There is a claim floating around the internet that Baron Samedi is sometimes depicted as a “bisexual dandy”. I myself quoted this, but have since realized that this claim is actually quite dubious. (I may have thus contributed to the spread of misinformation…) I still chose to make the Baron queer, so that he can embody every aspect of masculine sexuality - including the queer aspect. In making him queer, I attempted to stay pretty close to Eziaku Nwokocha’s description of Papa Gede in Vodou en Vogue (2023), which I quote in a later section. The labels “bisexual” or “pansexual” could be used to describe him, but his queer sexuality is supposed to be understood through a Haitian or African American framework. 

I don’t know if he would actually identify with labels like “bisexual” or “pansexual”, due to feeling alienated by predominantly white LGBTQ communities. This is how I would describe the “queerness” of his sexuality: While he is queer, his attraction is not split 50/50. Around 90% (or more!) of his sexual attraction is directed towards women. But if he wants to screw a guy, he’ll screw a guy! No matter who he’s sticking it into, he is usually very dominating. But if he wants to take it up the front and/or back holes, he’ll do that too! Most of the time, he is a CRAZY sexual sadist, but on rare occasion he is a CRAZY sexual masochist. He is the opposite of Alastor D. Ace Radio Demon. He loves every form of sex, and does whatever the fuck he wants!

The Baron is a god of Sadomasochism – the perfect melding of violence (that which kills) with sex (that which gives life). He is extreme in his sexual sadism, and extreme in his sexual masochism. He is ultra violent and obscene.

It would be completely inappropriate to suggest that the actual Baron Samedi or the actual Papa Gede are AFAB. But because he's not actually Baron Samedi or Papa Gede - rather, a tribute to the Gede as a whole - I would argue that he is actually the best candidate to make transgender!

Believe it or not, the two best candidates are actually 'The Doorkeeper' character or ‘The Loa of the Dead’ / ‘The Ruler of the Gede’ character. In real life, the Legba and Gede are deities of liminality. The Legba occupy the liminal space between human and divine, while the Gede occupy the liminal space between life and death. Between the two, the Gede are probably more important to the side of Vodou that is LGBTQ-positive. Because the Gede are these spirits of liminality, they embody the taboo, and are associated with marginalized gender and sexual identities (at least, in some places of the world). As I elaborate on later, Papa Gede himself is sometimes associated with female-to-male gender transformations and queer sexuality. Additionally, one of the Gede (Gede Nibo) is unapologetically Black AND queer! For this reason, I just think it would be really fucking cool if ‘the Ruler of the Gede’ character was transgender himself! 

I must emphasize that this is not at all true for the actual Baron Samedi; he is very aggressively AMAB. In making this character transgender, I do not want to emasculate him at all. This is why I chose to make him a completely masculine-presenting, binary trans man, who is still very phallic and aggressive in his sexuality. He sounds totally indistinguishable from a cishet man, and it is completely impossible to tell that he is trans when he is fully dressed.

The creative team behind Hazbin Hotel is so LGBTQ positive, they're really good about queer and trans representation (especially in Helluva Boss!) For this reason, I think it would be really cool if one of the Loa was transgender! It would be a unique opportunity to show the side of Vodou / Voodoo that is LGBTQ positive. While I tried to incorporate more elements from Haitian Vodou, there is also a side of New Orleans Voodoo that is LGBTQ positive, where there are trans and queer people who are part of the community. This is another positive aspect of Voodoo (Vodou) that is never shown in popular media!

Additionally, diverse representation of trans men is totally lacking. Historically, trans men have been invisible in popular media. The few examples that exist are overwhelmingly white and/or emasculated, usually both. There are very few good examples of Black trans men – more broadly, trans men of color. Generally speaking, trans men of color are not given anything more than a minor role, and are often whitewashed and/or emasculated in some way. Speaking to my experience as a biracial transgender broke bitch, there’s a lot of transphobia in real life, where people literally don’t think masculine trans men of color exist, and liken all trans men to women! It would be awesome to have an important character who is an unapologetically Black, masculine, trans man!

However, if you go down this road, I cannot stress how important it is to establish that this character is not actually Baron Samedi. I would argue that, after Papa Legba, Baron Samedi is the second most misrepresented of lwa in popular media, by virtue of being the most visible one. Major complaints include that he is emasculated and turned into a racist stereotype of Black men. He is also often turned into a villain, even though the actual deity isn’t evil. Baron Samedi is also linked to male sexuality. The autocratic, Haitian president François Duvalier co-opted his image because he symbolizes male sexual power over the female. 

It is actually Papa Gede who has some association with female-to-male gender transformations. In Vodou, females are spiritually transformed into men when they are possessed (“mounted”) by masculine lwa, such as Ogou (spirit of masculinity) and Papa Gede (spirit of masculine sexuality). Eziaku Nwokocha documents this in her book Vodou en Vogue (2023). Specifically, the section titled “Look at Me!”: Dressing Gede to the Nines describes at length the “mounting” of Manbo Maude Evans by Papa Gede. From the description and photographs of Manbo Maude and other priestesses, one can easily draw comparisons to drag kings and the transmasculine spectrum. Nwokocha elaborates on the “queerness” and sexual masculinity of Papa Gede, stating: “Often Gede’s interactions with men walk the line between flirtatious and dominating…Gede’s potentially dominating overtures toward men during ceremonies indicate the queerness of the spirit, yet that queerness is not centered; it is not the aspect of his persona that is emphasized in Manbo Maude’s ceremonies. The focus is trained on his masculinity and his predilection for sexual contact, particularly with women. Frequently, there is an outward embrace of cisgender heterosexual constructions of gender and sexuality that is simultaneously contradicted by the spirits and the practicalities of performing religious rituals. This duality is inherent to Manbo Maude’s ceremonies: it is a feature, not a bug, and it expresses the possibilities of gender fluidity present in Vodou practices.”

There are a few additional sources that suggest that Papa Gede – possibly even Baron Samedi! –  was historically associated with sexual / gender queerness. 

Zora Neale Hurston’s Tell My Horse (1938) describes Baron Samedi as forcing humans to dress and behave in a “transgendered” manner: 

Baron Samedi delights in dressing his “horses” in shabby and fantastic clothes like Papa Guedé. Women dressed like men and men like women. Often the men, in addition to wearing female clothes, thrust a calabash up under their skirts to simulate pregnancy. Women put on men’s coats and prance about with a stick between their legs to imitate the male sex organs. 

Famous African American dancer and social activist Katherine Dunham says the following about Baron Samedi in Dances of Haiti (1983):

One of the common and fearsome possessions is by Papa Gede, whose special emissary is Baron Samedi. Baron Samedi fancies himself quite a dandy, is a heavy drinker, and expresses himself in foul language and lascivious movements. He wears a top hat, a black tail coat, a skirt of cloth or grass, and at times dark glasses. If dark glasses are not available, he may simply wear battered rims without lenses. Baron Samedi's dual sexuality is expressed in gesture and language as well as clothing.

Famous Ukrainian dancer and ethnographer Maya Deren – herself inspired by Dunham – attributes similar “transgendered” qualities to Papa Gede (Ghede) in Divine Horsemen (1953): 

Although Ghede's vast range of power and information never confuses him, he may delight in using it to confound others. He is both tattered and beautiful. He confounds sex with sex, dressing women as men and men as women.* 

*Though it is rarely explicit, there is frequently a suggestion of Ghede as a hermaphroditic deity, like Legba.

Notably, all of these sources conducted their ethnographic work in the 1930s-40s – a time period closer to that of Alastor’s death. That being said, it is possible that these accounts contain inaccuracies, as all three were written by outsiders to Haitian culture. Especially in Baron Samedi’s case, I think he might have been confused for some other deity.

As it is crucial to immediately establish that this character is not the actual Baron Samedi or Papa Gede, I propose two possible approaches:

APPROACH 1: At some point, just show these two framed pictures on a wall with the names “Baron Samedi” and “Papa Gede” on them. Inside the frames are the actual Baron Samedi and the actual Papa Gede (or, two characters who look physically identical to them). The actual deities can’t be part of the jazz band, since Hazbin Hotel doesn’t take place in the real world and has its own mythology. So I guess those two just decided to go on vacation and put this guy in charge instead… It’s really funny if you stop and think who my DeviantArt OC would actually be. 

He’s just some guy who joined the Gede!

To make it even more obvious, you can also reveal that “Baron Samedi” is not his real name. He just forces everyone to call him that because he hates being called his legal name.

(It is implied that his real name is just Borrowin Samedi)

(But you can’t put this in the show, because it makes him look lame)

(Vivienne D. Me D. rano would just have to Tweet / livestream about this!)

If you somehow figure out what this dude’s legal name is and call him that, he takes it as disrespect. Everyone who calls him that gets thrown in a BLACK HOLE OF TORTURE!

APPROACH 2: Just don’t name him Baron Samedi. Give him a different name. 

The only reason I have not done this is because it breaks the naming convention of Hazbin Hotel. But I’m really starting to question if this was the right choice. With every passing day, it’s getting weirder to me that these cartoon characters have the same names as the actual deities. At some point, I really gotta sit down and think about this seriously… 

Anyways, it will never not be funny to me that this guy is not just stealing the actual Baron Samedi's look. He's also stealing the look of Croco D. Ile (One Piece)!

As he should. Those two are the most stylish men who ever fucking lived!

Also I forgot to mention this but he also cut off his tongue in addition to his hands nose and ears… He’s just freaky in every fucking way!

* * *

ENDNOTE: Regarding the origins of Baron Samedi

In this commentary, I mentioned that Papa Gede is Haitian in origin, asserting that Bawons “by extension” are also Haitian in origin. To be precise, I should have said that the Bawons are Haitian origin, in the sense that they are presently defined by their role in relation to the Gede. I actually don’t know off the top of my head if the Bawons can trace their roots back to an African, or non-Haitian deity. 

There is a section of Maya Deren’s Divine Horsemen in which she states the following: 

“Above all, America contributed the complex divinity Baron Samedi, at once Lord of the Cemetery, of the cross-roads (as brother to Mait Carrefour, the Petro equivalent of Legba) and of the magic related to both the Dead and the cross-roads, whose major, or at least, best-known expression is the zombie. Both the word zombie and Samedi are from the Indian Zemi which connotes both the spirit of the dead, the soulless living, and the fetish stone by which magic is accomplished."

Source: Deren, M. (1983). Divine Horsemen: the living gods of Haiti. New Paltz, NY, McPherson, pp. 69-70: https://archive.org/details/divinehorsemenli00dere/page/68/mode/2up 

Although she uses the word “America”, I think what she means by this is “Native American”. The word “Zemi” isn’t really Native American, but comes from the indigenous Taíno people of the Caribbean. But I suppose they could be described as “Native American”, since Taíno trace their roots back to South America. 

It is due to his alleged origins in Taíno spirituality that I think Baron Samedi is also indigenous to Haiti. I could be wrong about this, though. It might just be the Gede who are truly Haitian in origin, not the Bawons.

[chainofclovers]

Being a human is literally like this weird combo of being okay and not okay that goes on forever except there is also death

[iniziare]

Inquisitor: The Evanuris were elven mages? How did they come to be remembered as gods? Solas: Slowly. It started with a war. War breeds fear. Fear breeds a desire for simplicity. Good and evil. Right and wrong. Chains of command. After the war ended, generals became respected elders, then kings, and finally gods. The Evanuris. Inquisitor: You said that the elven gods went too far. What did they do that made you move against them? Solas: They killed Mythal. (Chuckles.) A crime for which an eternity of torment is the only fitting punishment. Inquisitor: I thought Mythal was one of the Evanuris? Solas: She was the best of them. She cared for her people. She protected them. She was a voice of reason. And in their lust for power, they killed her.

You know, sometimes I wonder about him in regards to Mythal. Not only over how intensely he struck down those who slayed her (and the severe repercussions thereof, even if he didn't realize they'd occur as they did), but the sheer conviction he holds in regards to the future. He banished the Evanuris, and in doing so, single-handedly brought devastation to his people, and Mythal's, leaving their descendants scarred and 'weak', shadows of their former selves. But it's the 'and Mythal's' that gets me. He 'avenged' her and in turn, became the 'undoing' of the elven civilization she'd loved and protected above all?

Inquisitor: That's the past. What about the future? Solas: (...) My people fell for what I did to strike the Evanuris down, but still some hope remains for restoration. I will save the Elven people, even if it means this world must die.

[lovingaeth]

god bless and protect queer elders

[eeblouissant]

do you ever find a song that reminds you so violently of a favourite character that you kind of just like. freeze there once the realization hits

so anyway I found a new Dorothy song and I’ve paused everything I was doing to talk about it because. oh my god. come cry with me.

Flowers by Marina, here’re the lyrics:

obviously I’ve related this back to her marriage with/& divorce from stan, but I feel like this song really encapsulates how easy it is/has been for Dorothy to fall right back into his arms at the slightest show of affection, regardless of how far along she is in her own healing journey, and how awful she knows he is. “And it’s most tempting to give in when you hear the firin shots, when you’re steps from winning back all the happiness you lost.”

She’s very weak to emotional temptation, it’s one of her biggest character flaws. It doesn’t take much to convince her to do something she has already been yearning for even slightly. (I could connect this back to her recovering gambling addiction on so many different levels but thats another post entirely, and kind of self explanatory) ie: the episode stan takes a wife, where he shows affection for Sophia in crisis, keeps dorothy company, and now - regardless of the fact that she’s about to ruin a planned wedding and that, stan is stan - dorothy is determined to take stan back and completely convinced that he wants her back, too. We see dorothy in a similar situation with stan in season one also, to a little bit of a lesser extent. There are so many big and small examples of this that it would be impossible to name them all individually, but I think the examples involving stanley are most relevant here. oh god, not to mention the time they almost actually get married again … spare me. Eventually, everytime, when he proves once again to be the asshole that cheated & left her, she comes to her senses. But oh my god sometimes it just takes so much for her to see that someone is bad for her. “–but I would rather not, betray myself, just to keep your love at any cost”

Sophia comments on this flaw once or twice in canon too (OUCH, BTW.) and it just … dorothy is always so defensive. girl your mother is correct I fear!!!

“If you’d just bought me flowers, maybe I would have stayed”… the slightest show of affection would have kept her there with him for even longer, I’m so sure of it – thank god he stayed gone for as long as he did. Should have been forever!!!!!!! she had been slipping away from him since day one.

Do I even need to start talking about “and now my future gleams with colours bold and bright, in a home that’s filled with love and hope and a life that just feels right.” PLEASE. PLEASE… I’m so fragile …… please … I feel like this one speaks for itself. And right after a line that so perfectly describes her home life while married to stan? I’m not well oh my god this is sick