#but if you start to misuse the water there will be consequences

[tariah23]

Finally watched the substance…..

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Kathleen Stock

Published: Apr 14, 2024

It is a cliché that when the US sneezes, the world catches a cold. Thankfully, when it comes to the phenomenon of wokeness — loosely understood as a box set of holier-than-thou attitudes about race, gender identity and sexual minorities, with accompanying punishment beatings for dissenters — many now appear to be reaching for the antivirals.

A friend of mine who teaches in a famous North American liberal arts college, full of achingly cool rich kids, tells me her undergrads are “so over” pronoun rounds, eye-rolling whenever staff try to introduce them in the classroom. Taste-making East Coast broadsheets are dipping nervous toes in the water on subjects such as unfair male advantage in women’s sport and the experimental status of medicalised child transition, having avoided or spiked such stories for years. The once ubiquitous hashtag #BlackLivesMatter has fallen out of favour with many, after accusations that the founders of the namesake organisation misused donations and enriched themselves.

Meanwhile in Britain, football players taking the knee are an increasingly rare sight. Organisations such as Sports England and the Arts Council are quietly exiting Stonewall’s Diversity Champions scheme, and the once-ebullient charity no longer feels confident enough to advertise the list of members on its own website. Free speech societies are forming with renewed vitality in British universities; and last week even saw those bellwethers of middle-class humour, the blokes on Have I Got News For You, pluck up courage to make a tentative joke about gender identity flags in NHS hospitals.

So can the rest of us — the ones who knew all along that wokeness was a pseudo-progressive hobby for guilty rich people, role-playing as meaningful political action — relax? Unfortunately not yet. For I’m afraid the demise of woke won’t be like the end of toothbrush moustaches, indie folk music or any other temporary behaviour supercharged by the whims of the young and the hip, then dropped without consequence. Wokeness, in contrast, is a bit like a hulking great boulder launched into the middle of a calm lake: waves will be crashing on the shoreline long after the epicentre bears no trace.

The most obvious difference between wokeness and other passing fashions is that nobody working in HR ever decreed that moustache-wearers or indie folk-listeners be considered uniquely oppressed minority groups. In contrast, thanks to wild and unevidenced claims made at the height of wokemania by lobbying groups, thousands of organisations have been left with unfair, illiberal and sometimes even illegal policies that blatantly cater to the special interests of a few: rules about how social spaces can be accessed and by whom; what data can and cannot be collected; what conversations are allowed and which are not. Policies tend to dictate organisational behaviour long after those who first championed them move on ideologically; and especially when propped up by a raft of specially created career positions, whose occupants have a financial interest in maintaining the momentum.

And alongside such policies, superficially moralised gestures have become embedded in many workplaces, embraced by senior figures for no better reason than they think everyone else is doing it too and by junior figures because the boss is doing it. Students at liberal arts colleges may no longer be listing their pronouns but the head of MI6 currently has his in his Twitter/X bio. Activist-sanctioned holy weeks and days are carefully observed by blue-chip managers. Hospitals, construction sites, police stations, council buildings, banks and hotels are festooned with the visual monstrosity that is the Progress flag. None of this happened with the craze for platform shoes or Agas.

In effect, the storm-surge of wokeness throughout British institutions from 2020 onwards was what the political scientist Cass Sunstein has called a “reputational cascade”: a relatively small number of people started acting in a certain way, each for roughly independent reasons; then at a certain point, a wider group of people started observing the behaviour of the smaller group and copying them, each privately assuming their reputations would be damaged if they did not. Before long, this pattern expanded exponentially, helped by the odd bit of public witch-burning.

Here again is a difference with more benign aesthetic crazes: if you don’t keep up with the moral version, you risk losing your social circle or even your job. But the reputational cascade that was wokeness didn’t just deter dissent from those frightened to swim against the perceived tide. It also incentivised opportunists, who actively used the surging tide to swim further ahead than their competitors. Many organisations latched on to it as a positive marketing strategy, thereby creating workplace structures and habits that, from the inside, now seem very difficult to unpick.

Perhaps, though, we shouldn’t be too gloomy. For of course, the existence of a reputational cascade doesn’t require sincere belief in the rectitude or wisdom of whatever behaviours you are copying, only the sincere belief that nearly everybody else thinks such behaviours are good ones. And, while no doubt depressing as a fact about human nature, this also has an upside: it only takes widespread realisation that other people don’t actually believe what you thought they believed for a reputational cascade to collapse. As organisations start to cotton on properly to the fact the tides of fashion are turning, it will be interesting to see what happens next.

[ Via: https://archive.today/z6ilh ]

==

This feels like it belongs with my "decline of religion" tag.

We're going to see a lot of historical revisionism, lying, ass-covering and gaslighting as the hold of "woke" falls apart, first gradually, then very, very quickly.

The Salem Witch Trials ended almost as quickly as they began once people in charge stopped pretending that they believed the crazy little girls and their theatrics.

The fallout and damage is going to be with us for a long time to come, though.

[delightfulpainterdelusion]

Swapping Smiles and Wonders: My Dive into the World of PTool and Faceswap

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to see your face swapped with a celebrity's, or how you'd look with a different nationality's facial features? As someone who's always been curious about technology and its quirky corners, I found myself drawn to PTool's AI Face Swap—a tool that promised to transform photos in ways that seemed almost magical. But as I dove deeper, I finded that the waters of this technology were far more complex than they appeared on the surface.

It all started as a simple experiment. I was at a friend’s house, and he mentioned this online tool he had stumbled upon. "You can swap faces with anyone," he said with a grin. "Let's try it out." Intrigued, I pulled up a picture of myself and another with my friend's face. Within minutes, PTool was working its magic, and there I was, staring back at myself with his features. It was a surreal experience, to say the least.

But as I played around with PTool, the fun quickly turned into a contemplative exploration. The technology behind Faceswap is impressive, there's no doubt about that. It’s like stepping into an alternate reality where you can literally put yourself in someone else's shoes—or rather, someone else's skin. However, it wasn't long before I began to ask myself: what are the boundaries of this technology? And what does it mean for privacy and consent?

The ethical questions started piling up. For instance, what if someone used PTool to swap my face without my permission? The idea of someone taking my image and altering it in ways I hadn't agreed to felt like a violation of privacy. It brought to light the fact that with great technology comes great responsibility—or at least, it should.

I delved deeper into the legal landscapes, trying to understand the implications of using PTool and similar tools. It turns out that the law is still catching up to this brave new world of deepfake technology. While there are some regulations in place, they often seem to be lagging behind the rapid advancements in AI. This lag leaves a lot of grey area where misuse can occur, and potentially cause harm.

One of the most concerning aspects I finded was the potential for deepfake content to be used for malicious purposes. Imagine someone using PTool to create a video that looks like a public figure saying or doing something they never did. The consequences could be significant—ruining reputations or even impacting elections. The power of Faceswap is undeniable, but so too is the potential for misuse.

Now, I'm not suggesting we should shut down PTool or similar tools. After all, technology itself is neutral; it's how we choose to use it that defines its impact. But I do believe there needs to be a conversation about the ethical use of these tools. Shouldn't there be guidelines or regulations to protect individuals from having their faces—or their likenesses—used without consent?

As I think abouted these questions, I realized that my simple curiosity had turned into a quest for understanding. PTool had given me a taste of the future, but it was a future with many twists and turns yet to be navigated. The fun of swapping faces had given way to a serious consideration of the responsibilities we all carry as users of such technology.

So, where does this leave us? As I wrapped up my experiments with PTool and Faceswap, I found myself both in awe of the technology and cautious about its potential. It's a tool that can be used for fun and creativity, yes, but also one that requires careful handling. The faces we swap are not just pixels on a screen; they represent real people with real lives and real emotions.

The next time I fire up PTool or any other deepfake technology, I'll be more mindful. I'll consider the implications, respect privacy, and remember that with the power to change faces comes the duty to use that power wisely. And if we all take a moment to reflect before we swap, we might just direct the ethical minefields of deepfake technology with a bit more grace—and a lot more care.

[rainbowbookcasesandlargemugs]

Okay I know this one!!!!

Short summary:

The human brain has a reward system run by dopamine. When you do a thing like eating or sleeping or having sex, your reward system goes fuck yeah! Have some dopamine! Do that again! It's what programs you to do all the things that keep humans humaning.

Some substances and behaviours override the natural state of your reward system and give you a a huge rush of dopamine. So your body goes fuck yeah! Do that again! The survival system thought that was AWESOME.

If you keep doing that substance or behaviour, your brain starts thinking that's how much dopamine it's supposed to get from things, and if you stop doing it it thinks you've stopped performing a necessary human behaviour, and freaks the fuck out. If you do the substance or behaviour enough, or if its a particular type of substance, your brain can also lose some neurochemical receptors because it's so used to the substance providing that thing, and if you stop doing it there are more serious consequences (eg. Alcohol)

That's what addiction is. It's not some classist or ableist invention by doctors to stop you from getting your adhd meds (NOTE: IT CAN BE USED BY SOME DOCTORS FOR THIS PURPOSE BUT IS IN A VACUUM A NEUTRAL BIOLOGICAL STATE). ADHD meds are usually powerful stimulants that stimulate the reward part of your brain, and so absolutely fuck with this reward system.

The difference is just that people with ADHD don't have an effective reward system. We forget to eat, and sleep, or we overeat and oversleep, and hypersexuality is a common symptom. We take ADHD medication to regulate our reward systems, but not enough is understood about ADHD to safely say that it 100% protects you from the addicting effects, because that's straight up just a physiological process that's happening, and ADHD isn't so straight forward. There's a theory it's due to dopamine receptivity issues but we really don't know that much!

So guys, please. Yes, actually, you are functionally addicted to drinking water, and eating, and sleeping. That's the whole point of the system that facilitates addiction. And ADHD medication IS a dangerous and powerful drug when misprescribed or misused, and your doctor has a duty to inform you of these risks.

(This is Also the reason why pain medication is so tightly controlled. Opioids also target the reward system. But that is another rant for another day lmfao)

Sources Below

Tello, C., 2021. Effect of ADHD Medications on the Brain - SelfDecode Drugs. [online] SelfDecode Drugs. Available at: <https://drugs.selfdecode.com/blog/adhd-medications-brain-effects/>

Dresden, D., 2019. Concerta crash: What it is and how to prevent symptoms. [online] Medicalnewstoday.com. Available at: <https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325673#causes>

Ismail, S. and Essawi, M., 2012. Genetic polymorphism studies in humans. [online] Middle Eastern Journal of Medical Genetics. Available at: <https://journals.lww.com/mejmedgen/Fulltext/2012/07000/Genetic_polymorphism_studies_in_humans.1.aspx>

Youn, J. and Ellenbrook, B., 2016. Gene-Environment Interactions In Psychiatry. [ebook] Wellington: Academic Press, pp.19-46. Available at: <https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/B9780128016572000021>

Gornick, M., Shaw, P. and Lerch, J., 2007. Polymorphisms of the Dopamine D4 Receptor, Clinical Outcome, and Cortical Structure in Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. [online] Jana Psychiatry. Available at: <https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/482389

Ptáček, R., Kuželová, H. and Stefano, G., 2011. Dopamine D4 receptor gene DRD4 and its association with psychiatric disorders. [online] Ncbi.nlm.nih.gov. Available at: <https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3560519/pdf/medscimonit-17-9-ra215.pdf>

Lembke, A. (2016). Drug dealer, MD : how doctors were duped, patients got hooked, and why it’s so hard to stop. [online] Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press. Available at: https://www.nyjournalofbooks.com/book-review/drug-dealer-md

Kosten, T.R. and George, T.P. (2002). The neurobiology of opioid dependence: implications for treatment. Science & practice perspectives, [online] 1(1), pp.13–20. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2851054/

United States Drug Enforcement Administration (2019). Drug Scheduling. [online] Dea.gov. Available at: https://www.dea.gov/drug-scheduling

How was my doctor like "okay we'll try ADHD medication but we gotta be careful cause it's addictive" when I'm going through my day like "shit I forgot my meds. Shit I forgot my meds. Shit I forgot my meds. Shit I f

[the-firebird69]

"Danny Boy" played on the bagpipes

There are a lot of giant sighted and Trump got excited and he was horrible and they're missing but their vocal cords are not those we installed in our pipes temporarily and they are a little small but they still work and you will hear them from time to time and space for a few seconds and it'll sound like you're off in China and people have heard it before like mac and are completely disgusted and they cannot stand you people you don't do any work at all matter of fact you're a severe detriment and the max are not doing any work either to stop you so we're going to take advantage of it and the creatures can eat actual Earth but they need to have some supplements in it just like dried potatoes you need water but not as much water as an analogy. And they're going to aim it correctly and you are not going to see them but they send it off into space. And their parties were devoured quickly and so with the troops a lot of them were this wise ass Dave so he's a b**** this morning and he started saying it too he's threatening me and her son says how did you figure that out I'm screaming at you don't do this or I'll drop you. so the stupid son of a b**** Dave is saying it back so we're going to nail him. And he's just a****** in the post office so he tried to do stuff and he lost and we took a host out and now I'm going to feed them they're going to be huge and they're going to run the mission we have them working okay and we are working very hard but we do have to follow procedure as we did last time and she's out and about and she's working and helping her son and has the power and he is curious just now and sees it and he is going to go for it right now and last night Dan AKA Dave provided the fuel necessary to start it and this is going to burn brightly it was going to win everybody will have to do what he's doing of ours or suffer what could be dire consequences no but we have to have power okay.

Thor Freya

Okay well it's kind of a misuse of it no I don't know I don't think I can get any grocer than that.. and that is what our son and daughter say and it's true that is pretty gross and we don't expect you to get any groceries and that's pretty high up there and we are seeing a lot of things happen because of last night they're all going down there and they're getting butchered they're not really doing anything but that's normal. I need my Giants up it's round two and I need mine up and I'm using it as cover and we are in a different location and it is working we pull those out last time but he just has three times as many and we can't have that we have to have as many and we're moving on it now

Nuada Arrianna

Olympus

[mariagarciav]

project

STORY

a description, either true or imagined, of a connected series of events

TALE

A tale is a story, especially one that's full of creative embellishments. You can read a tale from a book, or tell a bedtime tale to the kids you're babysitting. Tales can be true or fictional, but they generally consist of a narrative, with a beginning and an end, made more interesting and exciting with vivid details.

SCIENCE FICTION

is fiction that either explores mankind's relationship with technology/scientific advancements, such as Isaac Asimov's I, Robot, or uses a science fiction framework to offer up social commentary, such as Ursula K. Le Guin's The Left Hand of Darkness.

SCIENCE FICTION STORY

A long time ago, in the year 2020, the oceans had dried up almost completely. Moreover, rivers had turned into barren lands, and humanity was on the verge of extinction due to water scarcity. Fortunately, at that time, a group of scientists started developing a revolutionary machine. This invention would allow humans to skip using water for bathing while maintaining hygiene, eradicating bacteria and body odors simultaneously. This innovative device, named "InAqua," utilized nanotechnology to break down bacteria and neutralize body odors without the need for water. Thus, people could stay clean and fresh without wasting water on traditional showers and baths.

Despite this advancement for the world, scientists knew they needed to do more than just preserve water; they had to correct the mistakes that had led the world to this critical point. With the help of the brilliant physicist and quantum mathematician Dr. Marck Wright, they built a time-travel device. This would enable them to intervene in key moments in history to stave off the misuse of water. They traveled to the year 2000, a time when water wastage was still a global concern. Their initial task was to persuade nations worldwide to adopt the use of InAqua, thus conserving large amounts of water that would have been otherwise used in people's daily bathing. Additionally, this water could be purified and used for drinking.

However, just when the scientists believed they had accomplished their mission, they discovered that a mega-corporation from the future was manipulating InAqua technology for its own benefit, exacerbating water scarcity. Consequently, they decided to travel to the future to confront this corporation and halt its malicious plans. They arrived in the year 2050, infiltrated the corporation's headquarters, and dismantled its operation. However, they realized that the true cause of the water crisis was not only mismanagement of resources but also humanity's lack of awareness and empathy. As a result, they embarked on one last mission: to travel to a distant future where Earth had fully recovered. They aimed to bring back evidence that a better future was possible if humanity learned to value and conserve its natural resources.

The team returned to the present with advanced technology and knowledge of how to prevent the world's apocalyptic future. Eventually, Earth was not merely saved from drought; it was revitalized. Consequently, lush green forests once again stretched toward the sky, rivers flowed freely, and the oceans teemed with life. The air was filled with the fragrance of blooming flowers, and the world resonated with the harmonious melodies of rejuvenated wildlife. Thanks to the lessons learned, humanity, having internalized the invaluable lesson of responsibility, not only thrived in this revitalized world but also actively participated in ongoing preservation efforts. Through dedicated care and mindful practices, they ensured a lasting legacy of harmony and sustainability for future generations.

I created this image with the help of Canva, which has an artificial intelligence that generates images based on the description provided. In this case, I asked it to create a machine for bathing without water, and this was the image it created.

VIDEO LINK

References.

A Beginner’s Guide to Science Fiction | The New York Public Library. (2019, January 2). The New York Public Library. https://www.nypl.org/blog/2019/01/02/beginners-guide-science-fiction#:~:text=In%20short%2C%20science%20fiction%20is,The%20Left%20Hand%20of%20Darkness.

story. (2023, October 11). https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/story

Tale - Definition, Meaning & Synonyms. (n.d.). Vocabulary.com. https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/tale#:~:text=A%20tale%20is%20a%20story,and%20exciting%20with%20vivid%20details.

[circlecast]

How To Forgive Yourself and Move On

Welcome to this episode of The Relaxed Male, where I, Brian, the host, will be diving into the topic of forgiveness. We all have those moments in life where we make terrible mistakes and feel a deep sense of regret. Today, I want to emphasize the importance of forgiving oneself for these screw-ups. As the host of The Relaxed Male, my mission is to help men remove the "nice guy" persona from their lives and live life on their own terms. As a certified men's coach, I work closely with men who are going through challenging times such as divorces or job losses. My goal is to assist them in finding clarity and relaxation amidst their suffering.

Each episode of the show focuses on changing one's perspective on life, identity, and thoughts to overcome pain and become victors instead of victims. In fact, I have some exciting plans coming up, including going live on YouTube and participating in a podcast posting challenge in November. But that's not all! I want to invite you, my listeners, to a try coaching event that I'll be hosting via Zoom. This is an opportunity for you to experience the power of coaching firsthand and learn how it can help you achieve your goals. You can sign up for the event and find all the details on the website.

I want to thank each and every one of you for your continued support. The show is experiencing steady growth, and it wouldn't be possible without your listenership. If this is your first time tuning in, welcome!

We have a lot to talk about, so let's dive into today's episode on how to forgive yourself. It's common to reflect on our past actions and realize that some choices were not the best. We may feel regret, self-shame, and start self-hating. But it's crucial to move past these feelings and give ourselves grace. We are human, and humans make mistakes.

Constantly beating ourselves up and dwelling on past mistakes is not productive. It's important to pay attention to our thoughts because our mind has a tendency to ruminate and go over the same scenario repeatedly without finding any solutions. We need to stop criticizing ourselves and others. The shoulda, woulda, coulda mentality is not helpful. Instead, let's be aware of our thoughts and where they track to. 

Our mind tries to muddy the water by offering alternative scenarios, making it difficult to see the actual circumstance. Taking responsibility for our actions and not making excuses is crucial. Forgiveness starts with accepting that we made a mistake and taking responsibility for it. It's about recognizing that it was the wrong thought and replacing it with a better thought. We must voice our mistakes out loud, removing the shame and guilt associated with them. It's important to acknowledge and address whatever is eating away at us.

Granting ourselves grace and forgiveness is essential, especially when we find ourselves dwelling on past wrongdoings. While some crimes may have legal consequences, forgiving ourselves is essential for our mental well-being. Shame, often influenced by religion or societal norms, can cause severe harm if we don't forgive ourselves.

Misusing the power of our minds can be damaging, just like misapplying nutrition. Let's strive for moderation in all aspects of our lives and let go of past mistakes to maintain a healthy state of mind. 

Bottling up secrets and not forgiving ourselves can lead to long-term adverse effects. I recently came across a book called "The Body Keeps the Score" and I'm curious to explore its content and see if it lives up to its praise. Being intentional with our thoughts and redirecting them away from self-criticism and shame is crucial. Granting ourselves grace and forgiveness is essential for personal growth and the ability to extend grace to others. If you're interested in taking your personal growth to the next level, I offer coaching services. Y

ou can find more information on my website and check out the upcoming "try coaching" event on October 14th. I encourage you to share this message with others if you found it helpful or insightful. The Relaxed Male community is focused on helping men improve themselves in all aspects, including their mind, body, soul, and community. By working on these pillars, men can become more balanced and masculine, which is crucial in today's society. Once again, thank you all for your support and for tuning in. I wish you well until the next episode. 

https://www.relaxedmale.com/trycoaching

00:00:00 The Struggle of Forgiving Yourself for Mistakes

00:03:09 Announcement: Try Coaching Event on October 14th

00:06:17 Growing the podcast and encouraging listeners to subscribe

00:10:04 Overcoming self-doubt and shame

00:12:58 Breaking free from rumination and finding solutions

00:13:46 Building a Bridge to Forgiving Yourself

00:15:12 Muddying the Water and Breaking Free from Guilt

00:23:53 The power of our mind and religion

00:25:20 The impact of secrets and fibromyalgia

00:32:50 Introduction to Coaching and Try Coaching Event

Newest podcast episode to change your Mindset

[loishuddleston6]

The Undesirable Consequences of Misusing Micronized Creatine Monohydrate

Micronized creatine monohydrate has gained popularity as a dietary supplement among athletes and fitness enthusiasts due to its potential benefits in enhancing muscle strength and performance. However, it is essential to recognize that abusing any supplement, including creatine monohydrate, can have negative effects on the body. In this article, we will explore the potential adverse consequences associated with the misuse of micronized creatine monohydrate.

Gastrointestinal Distress

One of the commonly reported side effects of abusing micronized creatine monohydrate is gastrointestinal distress. Excessive intake or improper usage of this supplement may lead to bloating, gas, nausea, cramping, and diarrhea. These symptoms can be quite uncomfortable and may disrupt normal daily activities, affecting overall well-being.

Dehydration and Imbalance in Fluid Levels

Creatine monohydrate supplementation has been linked to increased water retention within muscle cells, which can provide temporary weight gain. However, abusing this supplement without consuming sufficient fluids can lead to dehydration. This imbalance in fluid levels can cause symptoms such as dry mouth, dizziness, fatigue, and impaired cognitive function.

Kidney Stress

While the effects of creatine monohydrate on kidney health are still under investigation, there is some concern that excessive and prolonged use of this supplement may strain the kidneys. This can be particularly problematic for individuals with pre-existing kidney conditions or those consuming inadequate water intake. It is crucial to consult a healthcare professional before using any supplements, especially if you have underlying kidney issues.

Liver Function Impairment

Although creatine monohydrate is primarily metabolized and excreted by the kidneys, long-term and excessive abuse of this supplement may affect liver function. The liver plays a vital role in metabolizing various substances, and its overload can lead to complications. It is advisable to follow recommended dosage guidelines and monitor liver function regularly when using creatine monohydrate.

Imbalanced Electrolyte Levels

In some cases, overconsumption of creatine monohydrate can disrupt the balance of electrolytes within the body. Electrolytes, such as sodium, potassium, and magnesium, are essential for proper nerve and muscle function. Imbalances in these electrolytes can lead to muscle cramps, weakness, irregular heartbeats, and other adverse effects.

Conclusion

While micronized creatine monohydrate can offer benefits when used responsibly and in moderation, abusing this supplement can have negative consequences for overall health. Gastrointestinal distress, dehydration, kidney stress, liver function impairment, and imbalanced electrolyte levels are potential side effects associated with the improper use of creatine monohydrate.

To ensure your safety, it is important to follow the recommended dosage, consult a healthcare professional before starting any supplementation regimen, and maintain a healthy lifestyle overall. Your well-being should always be a priority, and it is crucial to listen to your body's signals and adjust your supplement intake accordingly.

#HEALTH #FITNESS #BODYBUILDING #MEN #WOMEN

[adviserbabycom]

Car Seat Safety Tips for Road Trips and Long Drives with Kids

Throughout this article, I will provide you with valuable car safety tips that all parents should be aware of. We will discuss important topics such as properly installing and utilizing car seats, as well as strategies for managing long car rides with children to ensure their safety and contentment. By the end of this post, you will have a comprehensive understanding of how to protect your child on the road, so let's get started! Driving Safely with Kids: Understanding Child Safety in Cars When it comes to traveling with children in the car, safety is a top priority for all parents. However, many may not be aware of the most effective measures to ensure their child's protection while on the road. Child safety in the car encompasses several factors, including proper car seat usage, seat belt placement, and age-appropriate seating arrangements. Despite the importance of car seats, it's not uncommon for parents to make mistakes in their usage. Some of the most common misuses include using an incorrectly sized car seat, placing the seat in the wrong position, and improperly securing the child within the seat. However, these issues can be easily avoided with proper education and awareness. Overall, child safety in the car is achievable with the right precautions and knowledge. By understanding the proper usage of car seats and other safety measures, parents can ensure their child's protection while on the road. Let's work together to make traveling with kids a safe and stress-free experience. Road Trip Ready: Car Seat Safety Tips for Long Drives with Kids Going on a road trip with your family can be an exciting adventure, but it's essential to prioritize safety while on the road. Car seat safety tips for road trips and long drives with kids can help ensure that your journey is as safe and stress-free as possible. First and foremost, make sure that your child's car seat is appropriately installed and secured. Before you leave, double-check that the car seat is adjusted to fit your child's size and weight and that the straps are tightened snugly. Also, consider using a rear-facing car seat for infants and toddlers, as this provides the best protection for their head, neck, and spine. In addition to proper car seat usage, there are other safety measures you can take to ensure a safe journey. Plan for frequent breaks to allow your child to stretch their legs and use the restroom. Bring along plenty of snacks, water, and entertainment to keep your child happy and engaged during the trip. Best Car Seats With High Safety on Amazon Prioritizing Car Safety Features for Your Next Family Road Trip Selecting the right car for your family road trip is an important step in ensuring everyone's safety on the road. When making your decision, it's crucial to prioritize safety features that will protect your family in case of an accident. One of the most crucial safety features is airbags, which are designed to reduce the risk of injury in the event of a collision. Look for a car that has side airbags as well, as these provide extra protection in the event of a side-impact collision. Another important safety feature to consider is anti-lock brakes, which prevent your car's wheels from locking up during sudden stops or slippery road conditions. This can help you maintain control of the car and avoid collisions. Electronic stability control is also a vital safety feature that helps prevent skids and slides during sudden turns or swerves. When it comes to specific cars that are highly rated for safety, the Toyota Camry, Honda Accord, and Subaru Outback are all excellent options to consider. These cars have consistently scored high in safety ratings due to their advanced safety features, making them ideal for long drives and road trips. Car Seat Safety Tips for Long Drives with Kids When it comes to traveling long distances with kids, car seat safety is crucial. As I have seen the dire consequences of improperly installed or used car seats, I strongly advise following some safety tips to ensure the protection of your children while on the road. One essential safety tip is to ensure that the car seat is appropriately installed before embarking on your journey. You should adjust the seat according to your child's size and weight and ensure that the straps are properly secured. It's also wise to bring along additional pillows and blankets to help your child remain comfortable and safe during the long drive. Taking frequent breaks during the journey is also crucial to allow your child to stretch their legs and use the restroom. This can help prevent discomfort and minimize the risk of deep vein thrombosis (DVT), a blood clot that can develop from prolonged sitting. When it comes to car seat materials and products, I recommend investing in a high-quality seat that adheres to safety standards and is certified by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). Following the manufacturer's instructions when installing and using the car seat is essential to ensure proper usage. Essential Car Seat Safety Tips As a pediatrician and mother, I understand the importance of prioritizing car seat safety while traveling with children on long drives and road trips. Here are some essential car seat safety tips that can help ensure your child's protection while on the road: Following these car seat safety tips can help ensure your child's safety while traveling on long drives and road trips. Remember to prioritize car seat safety and make sure that the car seat is correctly installed and secured according to the manufacturer's instructions. With the right precautions and knowledge, you can have a safe and enjoyable journey with your little ones. Car Seat Checklist for Safe Road Trips with Kids Before embarking on a long drive or road trip with your child, use this car seat checklist to ensure that you have everything in order for a safe and comfortable journey: How to Make Road Trips and Long Drives with Kids Easier: A Step-by-Step Guide Taking a long road trip or drive with kids can be challenging, but with the right preparation and tools, you can make the journey more comfortable and enjoyable for everyone.  Step 1: Prepare your vehicle. Before setting out on your journey, make sure that your vehicle is in good working order and has all necessary car accessories. Install a sunshade to protect your child from the sun's glare and bring a portable trash can or garbage bag to keep your car clean. Step 2: Pack essential items. Bring along essential items to keep your child comfortable and occupied during the journey. Pack snacks, drinks, and non-messy activities such as books, games, or electronic devices to keep them entertained. Step 3: Dress for comfort. Dress your child in comfortable, loose-fitting clothes and shoes. Avoid anything too tight or constricting that may cause discomfort during the journey. Step 4: Use car accessories. Consider using car accessories that can make the journey more comfortable for your child. A seat organizer can help keep toys and snacks organized, while a car seat travel tray can provide a flat surface for activities and snacks. Step 5: Take frequent breaks. Plan for regular breaks during the journey to let your child stretch their legs and use the restroom. This can help prevent discomfort and reduce the risk of deep vein thrombosis (DVT), a blood clot that can develop from prolonged sitting. Remember to prioritize car seat safety and make sure that the car seat is correctly installed and secured according to the manufacturer's instructions. By following these steps and ensuring a safe and comfortable journey, you and your child can enjoy the adventure of a family road trip. My Top 3 Resources for Car Seat Safety Tips on Road Trips with Kids The American Academy of Pediatrics: Car Seats and Booster Seats https://www.aap.org: This website is an excellent resource for parents who are looking for reliable information about car seat safety. The American Academy of Pediatrics provides guidelines for car seat usage, including how to choose the right car seat, how to install it properly, and when to transition to a booster seat. National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA): Car Seat Recommendations for Children https://www.nhtsa.gov: The NHTSA is a reliable source of information for car seat safety. Their website provides guidance on how to choose the right car seat for your child's age and weight, how to install it correctly, and how to keep your child safe in the car. They also have a search tool to help you find a car seat inspection station near you. AAA Exchange: Child Passenger Safety https://exchange.aaa.com: AAA Exchange is a resource provided by the American Automobile Association. Their website includes information on child passenger safety, including how to choose the right car seat, how to install it correctly, and how to travel safely with kids. They also provide a list of car seat inspection stations across the United States. Car Seat Safety Tips for Road Trips with Kids FAQ It is generally not recommended to use a secondhand car seat, as it may not be up to current safety standards and may have been in a crash or otherwise damaged. It is safer to use a new car seat that meets current safety standards. There are many ways to keep your child entertained and comfortable during a long road trip. Bring plenty of snacks, drinks, and toys to keep your child occupied. You can also play games or sing songs together, or let your child watch a movie or play on a tablet or other electronic device. If you have questions or concerns about car seat safety for a road trip, you can contact the NHTSA or other organizations for guidance. You can also consult with a certified child passenger safety technician, who can help you choose and install the right car seat for your child. Read the full article

[punchequipmentt]

How to Properly Care for Your Boxing Gloves and Extend Their Lifespan

Are you a boxing enthusiast or someone just starting out in the sport? If so, you'll need to familiarize yourself with the best way to take care of your equipment. Boxing gloves are essential pieces of equipment that protect both boxer and sparring partner from injury during a match. However, if you don't take proper care of your gloves, they will begin to lose their protective qualities and won’t last as long—meaning more money spent on new ones. This blog post provides tips for properly caring for boxing gloves and extending their lifespan.

What You Need to Know About Caring for Boxing Gloves

The most important part of taking care of your boxing gloves is understanding the material they are made from. Most boxing gloves are constructed out of leather or synthetic materials such as vinyl. Both have their own unique properties that require different types of maintenance and cleaning. For example, leather must be treated regularly with leather conditioners while vinyl needs regular wiping down with a damp cloth to remove sweat and dirt particles. It's also important to allow your gloves time to air dry after use before storing them away so bacteria don’t accumulate inside them.

Another crucial factor when it comes to maintaining boxing gloves is their shape. After using your gloves for an extended period of time, the padding can become malformed or even compressed due to compression from sweat or regular use over time. To avoid this problem it is important that you choose a pair that fits snugly around your hands without being too tight or too loose—this will also help protect against potential injuries during sparring matches. Additionally, try not to store them in tight spaces where additional pressure can cause permanent damage to the gloves themselves.

Tips For Keeping Your Boxing Gloves Clean

One way to make sure that your boxing gloves stay clean and free from excess bacteria is by washing them regularly with mild soap and warm water (not hot water). Make sure not to scrub too hard as the material may rip easily depending on what type you have purchased—vinyl or leather—as well as its size and weight rating (for professional fighters heavier-duty materials are usually recommended). Once washed, let them air dry naturally or use a blow dryer set at a low heat setting if available-never put them in direct sunlight as this could damage the material they are made out of further leading up faster deterioration than normal wear-and-tear would occur in a shorter amount of time

Additionally, consider applying a special conditioner specifically designed for leathers such as those found in sporting goods stores every few months in order to keep it soft and supple which will help prevent cracking due to dryness which can lead to tears over time especially if used often all year round regardless whether indoors/outdoors activities occur at night/daytime temperatures respectively

Lastly, an antibacterial spray like Lysol can be kept handy near where you store your gloves which should then be sprayed lightly inside each glove prior to every use avoiding overspray onto surface materials where it may interact negatively with paint finishes etcetera

Final Thoughts On Taking Care Of Your Boxing Gloves

Taking care of your boxing gear is incredibly important if you want them lasting longer than expected! A good quality pair of boxing gloves can make all the difference between having fun learning how to throw punches correctly while protecting those around us & ourselves versus accidents occurring leading to needless injuries not considering other regrettable consequences stemming forth directly related towards misusing our equipment life expectancy altogether

Cleaning & conditioning whenever necessary plus finely choosing mitts that fit well into our palms instead of shopping discount items solely based on price tags alone should ensure overall satisfaction during training sessions thereby ultimately maximising our investment's returns at greater lengths

By following these guidelines we should definitely increase our chances of prolonging availing opportunities offered through such powerful sports tools thus helping extend our beloved pugilistic wrappers' beneficial lifespan.

[imfiguringitoutlovely]

Hiii idk if I'm doing this exactly right but I thought it'd be fun!

This is kinda basic my baddd

Element

The user can control any element. The amount of air the user can use is limited to how long they can hold their air. The amount of water and earth they can control is dependent on how much they weigh. They can control about twice their mass. Earth is hard to control and is stubborn, strong forceful movements are needed to control earth. Water is delicate and needs precision to be able to control it to it's fullest. Fire is limited by how much energy the user has. Using too much energy will cause cells to die and lead to them passing out. They can't control the element if they have nothing to draw from.

No relation to the cannon

No relation to pre-existing characters

X class 1a can be platonic or romantic

class 1a with a lifebender that they will protect with their l i v e s

pairing: platonic!class 1a x gn!reader (they/them)

genre: fluff! fun!!

warnings: none!

author's notes: mhm! you did it right, and it's not basic! the idea is common, but the details you added make it very special and interesting! i had a ton of fun writing this :D

i also didn't add any relation to canon, but did make reader a child of a non-canon hero couple

ALSO YEAH I. I KNOW I NOW HAVE A PATTERN OF FOCUSING ON KACCHAN FOR A WHOLE LIKE THREE POINTS BUT IM LIKE IN LOVE? SO LEAVE ME BE-

expectations were fucking high, ok? you didn't have a choice as to whether or not you'd succeed; you HAD to.

not only were you the child of two very prominent heroes who happen to be alumni of UA themselves, but you had an incredibly powerful quirk.

hell, it was so strong that theorists started using it as a prime example of quirk singularity theory.

of course your quirk wasn't perfect, and if misused, the consequences were very dangerous.

this meant a lot of training and discipline on your part, something that all your peers of course needed and utilized but you had to do almost two times more. elements wasn't just any quirk, and that was clear during the initial training process in your new hero costumes.

there was half-hot, half-cold and now someone who could control the damn elements? jesus was that battle... interesting-

todoroki has the benefit of focusing on two areas, and both come soley from him, his body. you had to make use of what was around you, and you had four different areas to master. fair to say he was a bit more advanced than you.

that didn't mean you didn't catch him off guard when the ice was creeping up on you and your partner and suddenly it just went up. yes. up.

with patient, focused, graceful movement, you were able to manipulate his ice,, since it's literally just very very cold water. you weren't able to control all of it, but definitely a solid amount, snd the temperature left shoji, his partner, stunned for a few moments, almost literally frozen.

shoto eventually still got the W, but dAMN WAS THAT WILD-

you and shoto have this silent understanding throughout the rest of the year that this was a competition, though he was far more aggressive about it. you were still willing to be friends (and eventually you are) but for a long time he's like "im not here to make friends"

(sure you're not, you fruity son of a-)

you're kind, and a great leader, but you tend to sit back and mind your own business unless told to do otherwise. you're not there to be miserable, but you're not there to get into drama outside of the situations already planted in front of you.

you're a lot like shoji, ojiro, etc. in that sense, and everyone really respects that.

PLUS YOUR QUIRK IS FUCKING COOL AND EVEN BAKUGOU IS HESITANT TO FUCK W YOU-

and omg omg omg omg yes yes yES YOU AND KODA END UP VEING BEST FRIENDS AND YOU'RE NEVER. EVER. E V E R . gonna change my mind

yes, he's quiet at first, but my BOY HE OPENS UP TO YOU W TIME I PROMISE. he gets closer w people through quality time tbh and acts of service. yall work sooo well together, esp in different terrains! you can bring ocean animals to him like the waves in moana hehe and he can speak to the fish to get them to help yall 🥺

and the bugs in the earth!! and the birds in the air!!! and you work so so well together it's really great!!!!!

🥺 y'all can literally just sit in nature together, under a tree and feeling super connected to it all and to each other,, yes y'all are super ultra mega besties 🥺

people tbh entranced by your ability to go between the four elements. like the grace in your movements, your ability to go from fluid movement into strong, sharp movements to absolute peaceful focus and aH you're so cool. AND YOU GET SO MUCH BETTER AND SWITCHING THROUGHOUT WITH TIME

YOU FUCKING BOSS YOUR PROVISIONAL LICENSE TEST TBH LIKE 😳 YOU A T E FR 😭

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE SPORTS FESTIVAL, YOU LEFT NO C R U M B S. NONE.

HELL, YOU BEAT BAKUGOU'S ASS, YOU ALMOST GOT HIM TO TAP OUT AND HONESTLY HE'S KINDA SCARED FOR YEAR TWO SPORTS FEST

DEKU AND TODO TOO

yes, you're in the top four fs.

aizawa a lil scared tbh.

well like

the class is as time goes on. you keep getting stronger and stronger. but with this, cells were dying quick.

somewhere near the end of the first year, you were forced to begin a regular meetings with a very specific doctor who had a cell regeneration quirk. down the road, like mirio, you cross your fingers a little tighter on eri's quirk progress. ofc you kept it to yourself, though.

outside of that, you kept to your sessions. it still didn't stop the passing out when you pressed too hard, though, and it worried everyone. the harder you trained, the more often they happened.

so, in the same way they'd bOnk deku when he keeps breaking his damn bones, they are willing to bOnk you if you don't fUCKING REST-

REST, BITCH, YOU DESERVE IT,, YOU NEED IT PLEASE IT'S GONNA BE OKAY YOU DON'T NEED TO BE AT 100 ALL THE TIME :((((

but yes they love you v much

esp koda

hehe i love that...

oRGANIC OPPOS- 😭

[amor-immortalem]

Everything Undesired

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort

Warnings: dead dove: do not eat, heavily implied rape, gross misuse of a pact, dissociation victim blaming

Summary: not all pact masters use their pacts judiciously or in a positive way. What happens when a pact is misused in one of the worst ways possible?

A/N: so a while back I did a comic by the name of ‘Meet Me Under the Azaleas’ I’m no longer happy with the writing I put into it originally so I wanted to rewrite it using the same plot line and adding some extra scenes that weren’t in the original comic which I’ll be taking down tonight. It should work better as a fic anyway.

Chapter 1

“You are ours. We own you.”

Those words rang in his head over and over as he stumbled his way into his room, overstimulated, exhausted- a mess. He knew it was a mistake to answer the call of those witches tonight. The thoughts of what they did, how their hands ran over his body, what they had taken away. It made his stomach churn and tie itself in knots with guilt and shame. It burned just the same as the rope marks on his wrists and ankles- wounds that would heal within the hour.

“You won’t breathe a word of this to anyone- this we command of you, Avatar of Greed.”

Those women -no, they were monsters- abused the innate trust that comes with a demon who enters a pact with a human, multiple in this case. They had violated the boundaries he’d put in place the day he started dating his human. Oh God, what would she think if word ever got out? He had no way of speaking out- to scream the truth until his voice was raw.

He needed to shower, to get the stench of sex and sweat off of him. He had to get their scent off of him. As he entered the bathroom, Mammon tore off his clothes as he started the water. The lights remained off as he couldn’t bare to look at himself after what happened. Not after how he just let them use him like that.

He stepped under the boiling water and just let it run against him. The falling water did nothing to drown out the deafening voices running rampant in his mind.

“Disgusting!” They roared, “Useless! Pathetic! Weak! Whore! ….. Scum!”

He falls to the floor of his shower, hands gripping at his hair as he let out a whimper that eventually turned into quiet sobs. The steamy air making it harder to breathe. Why didn’t he fight against them harder- against their orders. No, he just laid there and took it.

He grabbed the soap and a wash rag and scrubbed his body until every bit of him was raw and even then he wouldn’t stop. It was only when he saw the blood swirling around the drain that Mammon realized what he was doing to himself- how bad the water burned the exposed skin. It felt like hellfire raining down upon him.

He felt horrible as he reached up and switched the water off. He could still hear it in his head as he reached for a towel- all the crying, screaming, begging for them to stop.

He was a pathetic, sorry excuse of a demon, he thinks as he wraps the towel around his waist and travels down the his stairs quietly. It’s early morning now. There was only a few hours left before he would have wake up for school. He contemplated just skipping the entire day. There would be know way he’d be able to function. He could always say he feels sick- its not that far from the truth. He would decide in a few hours, he thought as he crawled into bed. It didn’t take long for her to move closer to him. His naturally warmer body temperature was what drew her to him. His body involuntarily tensing as she nuzzled into his chest, arms slipping around his body. He would only tuck her head under his chin and drape and arm over her side as he let the scent of her shampoo relax him enough to fall into a light sleep.

After a short while, someone's alarm blared among the sheets- whether it his or Arella's, he couldn't be sure. Mammon patted around for the offending phone, just wanting to get five more minutes of shut eye. He eventually succeeded but not without waking his partner.

"Morning, Love," Arella sighed, her voice still laced with the grogginess of sleep.

"Mornin', Treasure," The demon yawns as he curls back up, pulling her closer to his chest. "Sleep well?"

"I did. What time you get back last night?" Arella's voice is soft as her hand slides under his shirt, rubbing gently along his side.

"5 this mornin'." He says as he tries to hide the way his body recoils from her touch, a pang of guilt strikes his heart as she notices. "Sorry... 'm not really feelin' all that great right now..."

"No, that's alright." She removes her hand from his side, choosing instead to rest it against his cheek as she readjusts herself so she's eye-level with him on the pillow. "How selfish of those witches to keep you out so late on a school night..." Its at this point she notices the puffiness and how red his eyes are. "You look like you've been crying... Is everything alright?"

He just shakes his head. Mammon wants so badly to tell her what happened to him the night before- the real reason he got home so late, but unsurprisingly, no words come out. He just closes his eyes, letting himself relax under her gentle touch. "I'm jus' really tired s'all."

"I believe it. You only got a hour and a half's worth of sleep. Would you like to just stay home all day, just the two of us?" Arella moves him so he's resting with his head on her chest.

"That's sounds.... nice," he hums quietly, so close to falling back into the clutches of sleep.

"Alright then. Go on and go back to sleep," She kisses the top of his head, carding her fingers through the soft, fluffy locks the other hand rubbing small circles in the center of his back. "I've got you."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This carried on for months. The witches would summon him and as long as he complied with their wishes, they would hold his secret. By the third time, he would check out- let his mind escape to anywhere but the present until it was over. It became a vicious cycle. They would call, he would go to them, and then he would crawl into his bed for maybe an hour or two before forcing himself to get up for classes that he often fell asleep in. After the tenth, once they had finished with him, he asked why they were doing this and they told him.

“We desire something to bind you to us for the rest of our lives.”

“A child.”

The demon’s eyes widened at that. Never in his life had he been so opposed to the idea of having children. In fact, just before all of this happened he had been daydreaming about what his children with Arella would look like if they were ever so fortunate to have any but a child with one of the witches? It made him sick. A half-demon born from a demon of his status had a high probability of killing its mother- one who he would then have to raise. How could he explain that to his brothers- to Arella? The very thought filled him with dread. How could he ever bring himself to care for a child conceived from a crime? A child that would always be nothing but a constant reminder of the worst nights of his life. They didn’t deserve a life like that.

And so Mammon did the only thing he could think to do: he fled. He ran back to the Devildom, back to House of Lamentation as fast a his legs would carry him. He crashed through the doors of the house. Never had he been so greatful to be the first one home. As he climbed the steps up to his room he vowed to himself never again. He wouldn’t give them what they wanted, consequences be damned.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been six months since his last encounter with the witches. There was nothing on their end- absolute radio silence. Part of Mammon wondered if they'd gotten what they wanted from him after all. Everyday was filled with the anxiety of not knowing. His nightmares had gotten worse. Most of them were based around those nights he'd spent with them, others involved everyone finding out a one-sided version of what had happened, all spun in the favor of the witches. He dreamed of Arella leaving him, heart-broken from the implication that he would stray from her and running into the arms of one of his brothers. The worst ones- the ones he would wake up from covered in a cold sweat in the dead of night- consisted of him standing in the witches' home, the sounds of screaming, the smell of blood, the piercing first cries somewhere between the call of a demon and the screams of a human baby infecting his senses. It all felt too real. It felt like a crushing weight on his chest.

Over this time, Mammon had grown distant from both his brothers and Arella, hardly spending anytime with them. He fell apart. The grades he worked so hard to pull up had taken a nose dive, he was hardly eating- choosing only to consume just barely enough to sustain himself. He no longer slept for fear of the nightmares and he instead threw himself into side jobs that would keep him out of the house well passed curfew as well as earn him plentiful amounts of grimm. He couldn't go on like this much longer.

Everyone was worried for him. None of them had ever seen the Avatar of Greed in this manner and the gradual change in his demeanor alarmed them. Despite everyone’s best attempts, Mammon hardly smiled anymore. He just simply didn't seem to enjoy all of the things he once did. They all knew something was wrong but when asked the white haired demon would shrug it off, say he was fine when he very obviously was not. Everything came to a head the night Mammon collapsed, finally falling victim to exhaustion and hunger.

It was after this that Lucifer called the family to a meeting while Arella sat with Mammon in his room as he slept fitfully.

"What do we do, Lucifer?" Asmo seemed distraught with fear. "Our brother is suffering from something and we don't even know where to start in trying to help him."

"We have to get him to talk somehow," Satan quipped, "Perhaps Arella can-"

"If this were any other situation, I would suggest it but right now, I don't think that's a very wise move. If she forces him to talk it could very well damage the bond they share." For the first time in thousands of years, Lucifer didn't know what to do. Whatever was causing this shift in personality was eating away at Mammon. "We'll try to think of a way to fix this- to find out what happened to our dear brother. So let's start at the beginning of all of this. What do we know about what he was doing before this happened?"

"Well, Levi started, "He was getting called up by those witch sisters with more and more frequently. I heard him come home super late- like early morning hours late..."

"And after that is when he practically stopped eating." Beel chimed in.

"And he was having nightmares almost nightly, afterwards." Belphie nodded. "I did my best with my powers to look into them but there were so many mental blocks that he subconsciously put up, I couldn't see or hear anything very well and what I could see didn't make a whole lot of sense. They weren't very clear, but they had something to do with the witches... and I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt associated with them."

"Then obviously something happened while he was with them," Satan said, brow furrowed. "But what that may be, we won't know until he talks."

"Asmo, I see the look on your face." Lucifer called out to the Avatar of Lust. "Is there something, you'd like share with the group?"

Everyone's eyes were locked onto Asmodeus as the demon sat with a contemplative look on his face. He was very slowly starting to piece together what had been going on.

"Not yet, but I may have a hunch." He finally said. "Mammon has a pact with these women, correct?"

Next

Masterlist 2

[a-queer-seminarian]

So sorry if this is breaking news to anyone, but: the Bible is ableist. Its pages hold some really shitty stuff about disabled persons.

...AND it’s also affirming of the goodness and wholeness of disabled persons, just as we are!

it turns out that among the many authors of the many texts collected into the Bible, there were differing views around what we now call disability!

so whenever disability comes up in a given passage, i can’t keep my brain from immediately trying to sort it: is it a Good Text for disabled persons, or a Bad Text?

i try to resist that easy binary, because the answer is usually somewhere in between. that certainly seems to be the case for this week’s lectionary reading from Mark 9.

there’s so much wild stuff in Jesus’s little monologue in this lectionary passage, but let’s start with verses 43-47 (my rough translation incoming):

If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it all the way off; it is better for you to enter into The Life impaired than, while having two hands, to go away into the gehenna, into the unquenchable fire.

And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it all the way off! It is better for you to enter into The Life limping than, while having two feet, be cast into the gehenna.

And if your eye should cause you to stumble, cast it out; it is better for you to enter into the Kingdom of God one-eyed than, while having two eyes, be cast into the gehenna, where their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched. For everyone will be salted with fire.

oh lord, not the hell talk!! anything but hell talk!! this whole passage bristles with a million ways to misuse it. (homophobia cw: anyone else ever get told “if your sexuality causes you to sin, cut it off — this passage is proof gay people should be celibate!” just me?)

now, my focus is on what Jesus says here about disability, but as we talk about that, better ways of reading the text will come up. for instance, that last verse about how everyone will be salted with fire? to me, that suggests Jesus’ vision of this “gehenna” place does NOT = the standard Christian idea of hell. first off, it’s a place not of punishment, but purification — which is a word heavy with baggage these days...what if I say “reformation” instead? And if that’s the case, i imagine one’s stay there isn’t eternal — why bother reform people who are gonna be shut off in a fire-filled jail forever?

once those fires “purify” you, i imagine your stay is through and off you go into “The Life,” because you’ll finally be ready for it. so that’s one option for getting ready for The Life / The Kingdom of God — or, Jesus says, you can opt instead to get rid of the things that “cause you to stumble” in advance by......cutting off a limb or gouging out an eye??

now. i could be wrong but. if we start by taking this text as literally as possible, with physical stumbling and a physical limb-removal taking place......wouldn’t it be easier to avoid tripping if you’ve got two eyes to see obstacles with, two feet to step over potholes with?? even today when prosthetics are sometimes an option, there’s an adjustment period where you have to relearn walking.

so it seems that Jesus is making one of his trademark statements meant to subvert expectations -- the last will be first, the foolish are proven wise, and those with two feet are more likely to stumble. chances are, he’s not speaking literally. it’s not your literal foot or hand you should be chopping off -- it’s a metaphor for something else.

but before we consider what exactly it’s a metaphor for...where does this ironic little twist leave actually disabled persons? is it shitty of Jesus to be using disability in this way? is this like his “blind leading the blind” & “spiritually blind” comments elsewhere in the Gospels, where he stamps a disability with a moral judgement?

yeah, i do think it’s kinda crappy to use real disabilities for an object lesson, for hyperbolic effect, for shock value. “better to be impaired” (even tho, the subtext seems to be, It Sucks To Be Impaired) “than end up in Gehenna. Trade one terrible thing for a still bad but not as bad thing!” My impulse is thus to throw this passage right into the Bad Text box —except!

Except, i feel like this text holds some positive implications about how Jesus viewed disability, too. 

First off, there’s the implication that one can enter into “The Life” — abundant life, “the world to come,” God’s Kingdom — while disabled. (i wish that were just a given, but it’s not; it’s actually exciting to hear confirmed!)

In the Hebrew Bible (the “Old Testament,” the scriptures we share with our Jewish neighbors, the texts that Jesus would have read and known), the most common assumption about disability is unfortunately that disability = imperfection, and imperfection is something that should be kept out of contact with God.

Now, there are authors & stories within the Hebrew Bible that offer a counter-narrative to that assumption! Two quick examples: Exodus 4 establishes Moses as having a speech impediment, yet he has many close encounters with the Divine. Meanwhile, in Isaiah 56:1-8, God not only welcomes in eunuchs — whom Deuteronomy 23:1 forbade from entering God’s Assembly — but even gives them a place of honor there!

So Jesus’s perspective is not brand new; he simply continues the counter-narrative that other Jewish rabbis and prophets established before him. Still, it is significant that he takes the status-quo-subverting perspective that actually, disability and wholeness are not at odds!

While Jesus’s primary aim with this little passage is not about disability, his weird self-disabling metaphor does imply an attitude of welcome for disabled persons, in that he seems to take it for granted that disabled persons are not barred from The Life of wholeness and abundance he’s talking about.

It’s obvious to him that they don’t even need to be made not-disabled to get there! (Plus, there is no suggestion that once there, one regrows one’s lopped-off limbs or eye / becomes abled again.) This isn’t the only time Jesus expresses this idea of disabilities present in God’s Kingdom, either — my fave is the parable of the banquet in Luke 14 (i have a whooole video about that passage, if you’re interested).

Moreover, Jesus’s closing remarks about salt — which at first glance seem to be something of a non sequitur — can be linked to the Gehenna fire stuff when it comes to the theme of im/purity. Let’s look at that last verse of the lectionary reading, which follows right after Jesus’s claim that “everyone will be salted with fire”:

“Salt is good; but if salt becomes unsalty, with what will you season it? Hold salt in yourselves, and keep peace with one another.”

Another weird little riddle from our favorite riddle-master. unsalty salt? instructions to stay salty?

One way to read this is to focus on the purifying and preserving uses of salt — the way it can keep food from going bad, which was particularly important in a time before refrigerators. in the previous verses, Jesus told his disciples what to cut off — anything that impedes them on the way into abundant Life. Now, he tells them what to hold on to — the stuff that, like salt, clean out harmful things and preserve helpful things, thus enabling abundant Life.

So yeah. In naming something culturally considered an imperfection — disability — as something that can easily enter The Life, no problem, Jesus is making an argument for what is truly impure, what truly impedes wholeness. And it’s not disability! ...So what is it? What are these stumbling blocks that Jesus likens to feet, hands, and eyes?

To find out, we have to rewind to the start of the lectionary reading, a comment from the disciple John that actually kicks off Jesus’s whole spiel:

John informed him, “Teacher, we saw someone throwing out demons in your name, and we stopped him, because he wasn’t following our way.”

But Jesus said, “Do not ever prevent him! For there is no one who will do a powerful work in my name, and will be quickly able to speak evil of me. For whoever is not against us, is for us. Whoever might give you a cup of water to drink because you are in Christ’s name, amen I say to you, that one will not utterly lose his reward.”

The disciples have a certain way of seeing the world, and their actions against someone who is not one of them, but still using Jesus’s name to cast out demons, show us what that way is. They see the world in terms of us vs. them, in vs. out, one right way and many wrong ways. It’s this perspective that impedes them from supporting other people’s kin(g)dom-building work when it differs from their own.

But Jesus tells them they need to stop thinking this way, and start recognizing that there isn’t just one road to the Kin(g)dom, but many — and to quote Jesus’s words from other parts of scripture, you’ll know that someone’s work is good when it produces good fruit. This dude might be doing things differently from how they do it, but the fruits of his efforts are good — the casting out of demons, which frees people up for new life. So don’t stop him — support him! Be glad for his work!

To sum up the entire passage now that I’ve laid it all out and shown how the seemingly-disjointed parts of Jesus’s speech connect, I see his argument as something like this: “That dude you tried to stop is not against us; we can see that by the consequences of his actions, which are positive! His goals are the same as ours, so don’t hinder him just because his path is different from yours! Now, here’s an example of people/behaviors that ARE against us: people who cause little ones to stumble. And you know what you should do with such stumble-makers (or else the stumble-causing behaviors/attitudes)? Cut them off. Let go of anyone or anything that keeps you from abundant life, from the liberation God intends for all. Meanwhile, hold on to the things which purify you like salt — the things that liberate you to enter wholeness. Do it now of your own accord, or accept that it’ll happen later, and it won’t be very fun.”

To reiterate what all of that has to do with disability theology, I’ll share what my friend Laura said when I brought all these ideas to them. (Laura is the host of the Autistic Liberation Theology podcast, which i highly recommend for anyone who wants to hear more Bible stories told through a disability lens!)

Laura noted how common perspectives around dis/ability lead people wrong today, impeding our liberation. Our society teaches us that in order to function as whole persons, we need to be able-bodied (and neurotypical), and that the kinds of accommodations that disabled persons require limit their quality of life. When those ableist assumptions are the lens through which we view the world, that can “cause us to stumble” in the metaphorical sense — can impede us from loving ourselves and one another fully, and from fully participating in the diverse Kin(g)dom of God.

They offered two examples:

When a person with a mobility impairment that could be improved with a wheelchair avoids using that wheelchair because of internalized ableism, preferring the increased suffering that walking more than their body can healthily do over being “wheelchair bound,” that internalized ableism is a stumbling block keeping them from abundant life. Learning to let go of those beliefs, to use a wheelchair when they need to, will — contrary to that “wheelchair bound” language — bring liberation. 

Their next example imagined a parent who puts their autistic child through ABA therapy in order to get them to talk, make eye contact, and otherwise behave like a non-autistic person, due to the belief that autistic persons are missing elements of a full personhood, or that they can only live a happy life if they learn how to mask their autistic traits. However, in reality, ABA therapy brings the child pain and trauma — it impedes rather than enables their quality of life. Letting go of that need for your child to communicate through spoken language and otherwise behave like an allistic will make room for celebration of who they really are!

As Jesus’s comments in this passage imply, a disabled person can enter into “The Life” of wholeness and kinship that is the Kin(g)dom of God just as they are. To try to sever their disability from them would be the hindrance to that liberation. To deny that there are many ways to participate in the Body of Christ  impedes the incoming Kin(g)dom.

So let’s take this message to heart. Let’s consider what points of view, what assumptions about what is necessary for wholeness, are currently keeping us from abundant life, or causing us to stop others from their abundance-bringing work. It’s time to learn how to let those harmful assumptions go — and hold tight to the things that bring true wholeness.

For more on this text, check out my translation notes, which include a lot of commentary from D. Mark Davis’s own exegetical work.

For more on disability theology, you might enjoy my #disability theology tag on tumblr or my Disabled AND Blessed YouTube series. This video exploring the many different perspectives on disability found within the Bible is particularly pertinent.

Finally, what do you think? What good news do you hear in this Mark 9 text? What parts of it feel like a stumbling block for you, dredging up hurt or confusion?

[spicycreativity]

Intertwined - Chapter 4

Chapter: 4/8

Additional Notes: My AO3, WizardGlick, is 3 chapters ahead on this. Critical thinking exercise: Read the following Twin Peaks quote and consider how it related to Intertwined and to post-PoF as a whole:

WINDOM EARLE: What do you fear most in the world?

MAJOR BRIGGS: The possibility that love is not enough.

Chapter Content Warnings: Again, it's a hanahaki fic.

Excerpt: "Here's what I want you to do," Janus said, and his voice was surprisingly tender given the hard look on his face. "Cook for yourself. Don't make something you can take to the others later. Don't make something to share with me. I'm giving you a free pass to be selfish."

Yesterday, Patton supposed, could have gone worse. He had haunted the kitchen after his departure from Janus, begging the mindscape for some sort of hint. Like the answer to all their troubles was lurking in Thomas’ subconscious, just out of reach.

When morning came, he returned to Roman and Logan's rooms, was again rebuffed, and so floated back to the kitchen, made himself some coffee, and sat down at the counter. Again, he reached out with his mind for some kind of reassurance. He had to fix this. There had to be something he could do.

A 5,000 piece puzzle appeared in front of Patton. The image on the box was that of dogs playing poker, captioned A Friend in Need. The subconscious was funny sometimes, in a way that made Patton feel kind of sick and hollow. He opened the box and shook the puzzle pieces put onto the counter. It was a way to pass the time, at least.

A few hours crawled by. Patton’s hands began to shake from the caffeine, and he knew he should eat something, but… It almost didn’t seem worth the effort. He was happy to cook for his fam-ILY, but, when it was just him, what was the point? He put down another edge piece and flinched at the sudden appearance of Virgil in front of the coffee pot. Virgil had made himself scarce after yesterday’s meeting, only reappearing to turn down Patton’s offer of dinner. Patton couldn’t even blame him. How terrible, to wake up after a bad day and find your friends inconsolable and enemies at your door.

“Hi,” Patton said. Finding faux-happiness out of reach, he settled for ‘not completely miserable’ instead.

“Did you eat?” Virgil asked, pouring coffee into a purple mug decorated with this logo.

Patton saw no reason to lie, not about this. “Not yet. I got a little distracted.”

“Mm-hm,” said Virgil.

“Listen,” Patton said, already getting up to make toast. “Are you okay?”

Virgil shrugged and opened up another cabinet. “Want some orange juice?”

"Um, sure." Patton got out the bread and popped a few slices into the toaster. "Thank you."

"No prob." Virgil stood on his toes and got down two glasses, pivoted to the fridge for the orange juice.

"It's just," Patton said, "You don’t seem very upset?" It wasn't that Virgil was necessarily acting upbeat , but… Well, Patton had been expecting something more intense than Virgil's baseline levels of casualty.

"I am," Virgil said. "But I also want orange juice."

"Oh." Patton fell silent. His own feelings were so big and loud in his head they didn't really leave room for anything else. In the light of everything that had happened, Virgil's response felt cold. Patton had half a mind to tell him so, except that… Well, he had no room to talk about 'proper' emotional responses to things. If this was how Virgil wanted to navigate the situation, that was his right. "Did you talk to Roman yesterday?"

"Sorta." Virgil put the orange juice back, scooted a glass to Patton, and took a seat on the counter. "He said he wasn't ready to talk, but might be soon."

"To you?"

"Yeah." Virgil's expression was cloudy. "To me."

"That's a lot," Patton said, treading cautiously. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

Virgil's knuckles went white around his glass, so much that Patton was worried he might break it. "Oh, there's plenty I want to say," he said darkly. "To you and to-- to him."

"Janus," Patton said, feeling it important, somehow, to say his name.

"Yeah. To Janus."

"You can," Patton said. "To me. I won't get mad."

"I just don't understand!" Virgil said, the words exploding from his chest. "What did he say to you to make you trust him? After everything he did to Roman, to you, to Thomas! What did he say?" It was almost a plea, "What did he say?"

"I already told you, kiddo," Patton said, poking at the water droplets collecting on the side of his glass, unable to remember that they were called. Logan would know. "I made a choice to trust him."

"But why ?"

"I don't know, I just-- I felt something. I don't know if I can explain it in a way you can understand. I just got it. I understood what it was all for. "

"So, what, he just gets a free pass for treating us all like crap? Just gets to talk his way out of consequences?"

"Well, no." Patton kicked the toes of his loafers against the molding under the counter. "But I don't know that it would do any good to… punish him? Be cold, be mean, yell at him. What's done is done. I'm not asking you to forgive him."

"Good, 'cause I don't."

"But I also need you to understand that I made my choice and I'm committing to it. I…" Patton smiled sadly, gazing at the countertop without really seeing it. "I gave my word, in a way."

"Fine," Virgil growled. "But if he hurts you, if he does what he did to Roman and Logan, I swear, I swear--" Patton covered his ears briefly and Virgil seemed to get the message. "Well. I'll avenge you."

"Thanks, Virgil." Patton smiled again, happier this time, and looked Virgil in the face. It really wasn't all that long ago that he had thought of Virgil as an enemy. And now look at them. "I'm proud of you, you know."

"You are?"

"Of course I am! You've been a really good friend to, to all of us. And I'm so happy--"

"Stop," Virgil said, pulling up his hood. "Stop, stop, stop."

"Aw, did I make you blush?" Patton teased.

"Yeah," Virgil said, his voice breaking on that one syllable. He cleared his throat. "Let's not-- I'm gonna--"

"Is something wrong?" Patton asked, already reaching out for a hug. Virgil couldn't see him with his face buried in his hood, so Patton stopped short and let his arms fall to his sides.

"I just, uh." Virgil took a deep breath and let it out in a huff, swept his hood back with a jerky motion. "Sometimes I don't feel like I deserve all this."

"Oh, kiddo, of course you do!" Patton said, again holding out his arms for a hug. Virgil instead held out his hand, and Patton took it in his own, determined to communicate all the love and devotion he could through that simple contact. He smiled at the matching weave of their friendship bracelets, smiled at the memory of sitting side-by-side with Virgil as they both struggled with five-strand braids.

Virgil nodded, and his breathing was still shaky and spastic when he said, "I'm gonna go-- I'm not going off to cry all by myself, if, uh, if you're worried about that. I just need… Uh. Yeah."

Patton nodded, hurriedly snatching the half-cooked toast from the toaster and imagining it smeared with Crofter’s and butter, arranged neatly on a plate. "Okay!" He said with false cheer, passing the plate to Virgil. "Come get me if you need anything! Maybe we can watch Ghost Adventures tonight."

"Sounds good," Virgil said, slightly muffled around his hand, as he was chewing at his thumbnail. "Later." He sank out.

Patton sighed and stared at their untouched orange juice glasses. Even when he was trying to fix things, he made people upset.

A drop of water slid down the side of Virgil's glass, pooled on the countertop. Patton stared at it as another followed.

What did it truly mean to deserve something, anyway? It was something Janus would probably have an opinion on. He seemed to have opinions on most things. Maybe Patton could ask him in a bit.

“Did you need me for something?

Oh, okay, or Patton could ask him now. He turned, unsmiling to Janus. It wasn’t that he wasn’t cheered by Janus’ presence, but that he had no reason to lie. Janus had made it abundantly clear that he wasn't depending on Patton for anything. “Sorry,” he said, embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to steal you.”

“No harm, no foul,” Janus said, and sighed so heavily his breath displaced a few puzzle pieces. “As you can see, I was hard at work.” Despite this claim, he wore a hard, annoyed expression and Patton remembered with a sinking feeling in his stomach that he was dealing with a liar. "Did you need help with your puzzle?" Janus asked.

Just like that, Patton's heart leapt. "You'll stay?"

Janus shrugged. "I suppose I can clear a space in my schedule."

Patton stood to get him some coffee. The pot was empty, but it was simple enough to imagine it full again. Ordinarily, he disliked the laziness of misusing Thomas' imagination, but he couldn't deny that it was convenient sometimes. He could tell he was on the brink of annoying Janus (somehow) and didn't want to risk pushing him over the edge. "Have you eaten?"

"Have you?" Janus asked, side-eyeing the remaining slices of toast sitting in the toaster. Patton had forgotten all about them.

"I guess it slipped my mind," Patton turned around and set a coffee mug on the counter in front of Janus, then rounded it to sit down again. He tried not to notice that Janus had scooted his chair away from Patton's, that he leaned on his elbow so they were even farther apart.

"Hm," said Janus, making a face. He didn't push it, and Patton was grateful for that. "Oh, and thank you."

"Of course," Patton said.

He watched Janus for a moment. He handled the puzzle pieces with difficulty, his gloves impeding his ability to pick them up. When he realized he was staring, he turned away and started fitting more edge pieces into place.

He couldn't decide if the quiet was pleasant or awkward. It was kind of nice, kind of domestic, sitting here with Janus, but he couldn't help but feel a kind of tension in the air.

Then Janus turned away and started coughing. Patton reached out to put a hand on his back, caught himself, pulled away. The deep, jagged sound made him cringe. He was no stranger to coughing fits, none of them were, brought on by Thomas' cat allergy. But this had come out of nowhere.

"You okay?" Patton asked when Janus resurfaced. Maybe he was just projecting, but he thought Janus looked a little pale on his human side.

"It's warmer today, isn't it?" Janus said, not looking at Patton.

"Huh?"

"It's not as cold. Roman seems to have gotten ahold of himself somewhat."

"Um, yeah, I guess." Patton furrowed his brow, trying to get a good look at Janus. "But Janus, are you okay?"

"Fine," said Janus. "Just inhaled some coffee, that's all."

But his hands shook as he slid a blue puzzle piece down the counter, and Patton was already halfway out of his seat before he even realized what he was doing. "You know, I think I will make breakfast."

"A little late now," Janus said. "By the way, did you really call me all the way down here just to work on a puzzle?"

"So brunch, then," Patton said. "And to be honest, no."

"Oh, do be honest," Janus said, leaning against the counter and resting his chin in his palm.

But Patton's priorities had shifted beyond philosophical debate. He had to take care of Janus now, get him comfortable, get him honest. He had to. "It's not important anymore."

"Hm," said Janus. He cleared his throat quietly, winced. "Well, now I'm not curious at all."

"It's okay," Patton said, trying for a reassuring smile. "We can talk about it later." He spun around, trying to decide what to make. Toast sounded wholly unappealing now, and he should choose something that would be easy on Janus' throat--

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing, by the way," Janus said.

"Making brunch?" Patton said with faux-innocence.

"Mm-hm. And what did you have in mind?"

"Soup."

"Patton," Janus said in a chastising tone. "I don't need you to take care of me. I need you to take care of you."

"That cough sounded like it hurt," Patton said, defeated.

Janus sat back and spread his arms out as though to show himself to Patton. "It did. It went away on its own. I'm fine."

Patton wasn't sure what to say to that. He scratched at his friendship bracelets, embarrassed. "Oh."

"Here's what I want you to do," Janus said, and his voice was surprisingly tender given the hard look on his face. "Cook for yourself. Don't make something you can take to the others later. Don't make something to share with me. I'm giving you a free pass to be selfish."

"But that's wrong!" Patton said reflexively. He regretted it as soon as the words were out of his mouth, but it wasn't like he could take them back. "Not for you," he hastened to explain. "That's your job. But me?"

"I can't very well be selfish for you," Janus said. He seemed annoyed, digging his fingers into both sides of his midriff in a way that looked decidedly painful. "Just try it. It won't be the end of the world."

And Patton wanted to. He didn't want to let Janus down, but… Where did it end? Where did it stop?

"Patton," Janus said. "I can see you catastrophizing."

"Sorry," said Patton, feeling close to tears. "Sorry, sorry, sorry. I just… I don't know who I am or what I want or if I'm even allowed to want."

"Breakfast, Patton. That's all. One little thing."

"Okay," Patton took a deep breath. Calm down. Make food. He could do that.

"There's nothing else," Janus said. "Just us, right now. Just this room. No consequences."

"Okay," Patton said. Cinnamon rolls. He wanted mini cinnamon rolls.

"Good," said Janus. "You're okay." He cleared his throat again, coughed a little behind closed lips. Patton forced himself not to notice, knowing that it would make Janus annoyed if he pointed it out or tried to help.

"I hope so," Patton muttered, half to himself, as he got his ingredients together. A phrase popped into his head and he shouted it out impulsively, "Mise en place!"

"Bless you?" Janus said, raising an eyebrow.

"No, no." Patton smiled. "Getting all your ingredients together. Mise en place."

"Ah," said Janus. He smiled too, his human eye crinkling at the corner. Patton almost sighed at the sight. Janus seemed to hold himself above human standards sometimes. He presented himself as something cold and pure, unbreakable and untouchable and utterly perfect. There was something so beautiful about seeing him step down from the pedestal. Janus seemed to notice Patton staring and turned away, surprisingly demure. "How about some music?"

A turntable appeared on the counter, spinning something inoffensive and charmingly lo-fi. "That's nice," Patton said. He didn't recognize the artist, but it didn't really matter. The music seemed to slide into the cracks of their conversation, filling out the empty spaces and projecting calm throughout the kitchen.

So Patton made cinnamon rolls and Janus worked on the puzzle while he sipped his coffee, and they both pretended not to notice the ragged coughs that Janus couldn't bury under the music no matter how hard he tried.

[theworldbrewery]

manual monday!

here at The World Brewery, we finally got our hands on that most basic of tools, the Player’s Handbook.

as a consequence, today I’m unpacking an oft-overlooked section of the PHB: “The Environment,” spanning pages 183-185 for those following along at home.

this section is professed as rules covering “the most important ways in which adventurers interact with the environment” in dungeons and dangerous places. so, naturally, it begins with the rules on Falling.

Falling

Unless your PCs can fly, falling can be a deeply dangerous thing. the rulebook mainly states that a creature takes 1d6 bludgeoning damage per 10 feet fallen, to a max of 20d6 (read: after 200ft, you’re probably screwed no matter the change in distance). For context, falling 200ft will deal an average of 70 damage. For a low-level PC, that’s instant death; for a mid-level PC, it’s instant unconsciousness, but not necessarily insta-kill. Crucially, you also land prone, which means in battle, a hostile creature can attack (in melee) with advantage.

But most falls are not, in fact, 200ft. More often, a fall is 10, maybe 20--the depth of a pit trap, or a few stories if the party is in a cave system and goes down a vertical tunnel unexpectedly.

It does not, however, discuss how to handle rolling for these things. In the case of pit traps, the DMG does have handy guides on perceiving traps, but notably does not require a saving throw to evade falling. As far as the DMG is concerned, if you miss the signs of an imminent fall, you can’t avoid it. 

However, many DMs house-rule in a Dex save, either to avoid falling altogether, or to reduce the overall damage. In that case, I recommend Dex checks when a character is trying to maneuver around a trap or chasm, and Dex saves to potentially halve the damage of a fall by bracing for impact.

Suffocating

Every PC can hold its breath for 30 seconds, regardless of how bad their Con modifier is. The PHB does not specify whether or not a creature has to make some kind of check if they start suffocating suddenly, so as a general rule, I would go with no. That is, if a character is surprised in combat and the enemy holds a bag over their head, they still get their usual held-breath amount before they start suffocating. Use suffocation judiciously--it’s less a combat mechanic and more a feature of underwater passages, areas filled with natural gas, or other terrain effects.

When you run out of air, you do get at least 1 round before you drop to 0 HP and are dying. This has everything that comes with it, including Death Saves, falling prone, and all the rules of the unconscious condition.

Vision and Light

Vision is hotly contested, frequently brought up, and oft-misused. According to the PHB, we can divide light into 3 categories: Bright light, Dim light, and Darkness. In bright light, most creatures have normal vision; overcast skies, torches, and lanterns generally provide bright light. Dim light refers to twilight or dawn hours or the area around an area of bright light. Darkness is present at night, even when the moon is out, in unlit areas, or in magical darkness.

The rules of light intersect with the rules of obscured areas. Lightly obscured areas can be caused by dim light as well as weather effects like fog, or terrain effects like some foliage. In a lightly obscured area, creatures have disadvantage on perception checks--but a reminder that creatures with Darkvision are able to see normally when the obscured area is caused by dim light. Similarly, heavily obscured areas include darkness and more opaque versions of other obstructions (fog, foliage)--so again, creatures with Darkvision are not affected by the rules of heavily obscured areas when it comes to darkness. And that’s a good thing, too--because creatures are effectively blinded when trying to see a heavily obscured area.

Blindsight similarly is not affected by these rules of light and obscurity, nor are creatures with Truesight.

Food and Water

I’ll be honest, I don’t know any DMs who care about tracking food and water--largely because PCs can afford to stock up well on rations. However, there are moments when it can be useful: say the water supply was poisoned by an enemy, and the party is trying to survive without it. In the wilderness, they may need to find a water source before starting to accrue exhaustion-- which makes them weaker and weaker. Worse, when it comes to food and water, if you already have a level of exhaustion, going without food or water causes two levels of exhaustion to be added, rather than just one, so the effects are increasingly dire with time. Now, characters can usually ration just fine, but again--if food is eaten by a hungry pack of rats, or spoiled by a regional effect like intense heat, the rations may dwindle and characters could have to spend time dealing with that.

If that sounds intensely boring, no big deal! Either ignore the consequences of food and water entirely, or use them to lead characters to other storylines. For instance, running low on rations might make characters explore an area in search of wild game, and from there they stumble upon a den of Giant Elk...which have made their home near the entrance of a mysterious ruin. Seeking water might be dull until the local water source is being contaminated by evil magic, and the party has to find a solution or die of dehydration. Not to be overused, but these are certainly options to incorporate these rules.

Interacting with Objects

Most objects are up to the DM’s discretion--requiring a Strength check to move a rusted lever, for instance--but there are more guidelines when it comes to breaking objects: objects are immune to poison and psychic damage, but they can be attacked. The DM sets an object’s AC and hit points, and adds in any other caveats for damaging an object. When it comes to saving throws, they are immune to all saves except Strength and Dexterity, which they automatically fail. Objects break when they reach 0HP. Strength checks can also be used to break an object outright, using the DM’s DC.

In house-rule terms, a DM might also decide to add a check of Intelligence or Wisdom for a character to determine how to use an unfamiliar object. I would use something like that sparingly, though, since most objects are fairly intuitive and you don’t want to accidentally give a PC the power to use an item when it would normally require proficiency to use. In my own game, such rolls apply for properly using tools that a character lacks proficiency in, as well as situations where characters are faced with totally unfamiliar or even alien technology.

[husbandograveyard]

-rolls in- Pumpkin here!! Congratulations with all the followers!! I'm new but I'm loving your work so much!!!! Could I request 41 with Crocodile please :)

My very very first time writing for Sir Crocodile, I hope I did him a little bit justice so you can enjoy some of that SandPumpkin goodness!  (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡

Ranting to one croc about the other - Crocodile x Reader 

Cliché with Bae event - Prompt #41: Overhearing they have feelings for you

Character: Crocodile - Word Count: 1.9k words (oop it long!) 

No other warnings 

He hadn’t meant to stop and listen. He actually was on his way to something way more important. But when he heard your familiar soft voice speak up in frustration from the room where the Bananawanis were fed, he just had to stop, telling himself it was just to make sure you were okay. After all, his beloved pets could be vicious and he should’ve known better than to make his assistant handle feeding time. But you had insisted, telling him you found it therapeutic to do, and that you loved the animals just as much as he did. But well, he would lie if he’d say he wasn’t a little bit concerned for your safety and thus he had stopped and listened, just to hear what you were saying, ready to bust in and save you from his pets, if it needed be. Of course, he’d be denying that he checked up on you, only half a lie since he did intend to do something else. You were just a little bit too distracting.

“I don’t get it… he hires me, clearly not needing an assistant, cause he keeps an eye on everything himself. So I think, hmmm, maybe he’s interested. Gets me gifts, makes sure I don’t do dangerous stuff, even wanted me to stay away from you lovely bananababies.”

You smooched the smaller bananawani’s face a little bit, something that the beast would normally chomp someone’s head off for, but for some reason, it stayed still, contently nomming on the food you brought it earlier, letting you pet its rough leathery skin and smoosh its face. It was quite the sight that would have made Crocodile chuckle if he wasn’t so focussed on the things you were saying.

It was clear you were talking about him. And well, you were right in your observations, he had noticed you in the casino, clearly feeling uncomfortable with whoever your company was that had dragged you there. He usually couldn’t care less about who was in his establishments and whether they were enjoying themselves or not, but there was something about you that had pulled him in, and he had made some of the staff go over to you so you could ‘escape’ from your company and get some rest.

Whatever happened after had been a real rollercoaster of emotions, from relief to terror about leaving them behind, to confusion to ultimately even more confusion when the staff had told you that Sir Crocodile himself had offered you to stay the night so you wouldn’t have to return to an uncomfortable and possibly dangerous situation. An offer you couldn’t refuse, after all, anything was better than going back inside, and on top of that, who would dare to say no to Sir Crocodile.

You didn’t even see him the very first days, but staff had told you you could stay around as long as you wanted. You didn’t want to impose on them, but after ditching your company, you didn’t really have anywhere else to go to and stayed a couple of days. You only met Crocodile a handful of times before he offered you to stay and live in the mansion, in exchange for being his secretary. It was a strange offer, but at the time, you didn’t know any better and had accepted. The life you had been leading for the past couple of days was much better than how you had been living before, and the small tasks Crocodile made you do were not even close to the amount of work you had to do before. It was well worth it.

It was months later now, you regularly spending time with your boss and finding yourself enjoying his company a lot more than you had initially anticipated. And you had thought because of his strange actions, offering you a job and a new home, making sure you weren’t in need of anything, getting you gifts that you were sure of were extremely expensive, and every now and then he had been extremely pleasant company if he had the time to relax in between his work, so you thought that he might be feeling the same way. Yet he had made no moves or advances at all, keeping quite some physical distance. It confused you and made you feel insecure, maybe he did all of that out of pity? Then again, he didn’t seem like the person to do so much for someone out of pity. You didn’t know anymore, and that had lead up to the conversation you were now having with the bananawani.

“But he does keep his distance… so I don’t know, I clearly have fallen for him and it’s getting harder and harder to hide it around him, he sees right through people, y’know? And well, I don’t want him to hate me, or even fire me, I kind of like the life here. So I guess I should wait until I get over it. But God knows how long that is going to take... “ You sighed deeply, giving the gator another piece of meat before continuing your rant, the animal almost nodded as it grabbed the meat, and you took it as an encouragement to keep talking.

“My sweet wani, why must feelings and love always be so complicated?” You lovingly patted the banana shape on its head. “I wish I could just go up to him and tell him: Sir, I really love you, but y’know.. without facing the consequences. I am just absolutely terrified, and I’d never do that, just imagine,” you nervously chuckled to yourself, “I might just as well pack up all my stuff and go live in the streets somewhere.”

It was all Crocodile had to hear. Of course, he had been interested in you, from the very moment you first captured his attention in the casino without even knowing it. After that, in the first times you met, he was sure that there was something there he had never felt before. He absolutely hated it, no time for love in his line of work, but couldn’t keep you out of his mind, so decided to keep you around, as a secretary, a selfish way to make sure you were safe and not going off with some other men that would do nothing but break your heart.

After all this time, there was no denying that he had feelings for you too, but he had kept his distance. For one, he didn’t want to scare you away or make you feel as if he was using his position of power to simply get what he wanted, which was you, but he was far above misusing his power to such an end. And besides that, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted a relationship at all. Having feelings did not mean one must act upon them.

Overhearing this did change the game. He didn’t want to impose himself on you, but hearing that you were basically frustrated by him not making any advances… he’d be more than willing to fulfill your request. And thus, he casually entered the Bananawani enclosure, pretending he hadn’t been listening for all this time, already decided whatever work he was going to do could wait for him.

You jerked your head up the moment you heard the door open up, and your eyes widened at the sight of your boss walking into the room. You felt your cheeks heat up immediately: had he overheard what you were saying? Because in that case, you might just fling yourself in the gator pool as their next snack. You were so embarrassed already, and he had yet to say a word. You, on the other hand, started stammering half-sentences and words in order to come up with an excuse for what he might have heard as well as the fact that you were just shamelessly petting the creatures he had warned you multiple times to just feed and leave because they could get vicious.

“ehm.. Sir...I, I don’t know if you… ehm.. I.. no… you, I just… ehm”. You stood up, giving the gator one more pat on his banana as it retreated back into the water, content with all the attention it had gotten, and also slightly intimidated by the man who was now only mere inches away from you, his taller figure towering over yours.

“You just…?” there was some amusement in his voice that you had rarely heard before. At this point, you were sure he overheard you and you weren’t sure whether to laugh nervously or cry. Other than the slight amusement, you couldn’t read his expression at all. Was he mad and about to fire you? Did he think you were disrespectful? Ungrateful? Did he just think it was hilarious someone like you could fall for someone like him? That you even hoped you had a chance?

You let your head hang low. “I am sorry Sir Crocodile. I know… I know that what I said was very inappropriate… can… could you please forgive m-”. Before you could even finish your sentence you felt the cold metal of his hook under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. You could feel your legs shaking but complied, there was no way you could not do as he said.

“Don’t tell me you’re about to take your words back y/n. It’d be a shame if you didn’t feel comfortable enough to be honest towards the person you claim to love.” You were turning even redder now, not sure what he even meant, not sure what exactly to reply. You were completely speechless and overwhelmed, but also relieved, as he did not seem to be angry at you. Maybe you wouldn’t have to pack your bags just yet. The smallest of smiles formed on his lips as he discarded the cigar that was in between them, still waiting on your reply.

“I… no, Sir. I did mean what I said. It just wasn’t meant for your ears. -Yet. I am sorry.”

“No need to be sorry, if anything I need to apologize for making you feel as if you would not be good enough.”

At this point, you noticed how close his face was to yours, he had leaned down, but not even intimidatingly so, it felt almost...tender. You kept staring into his light eyes and just stammered, not sure to think up coherent sentences anymore, let alone get them over your lips. Not that that was necessary anymore as they were soon too occupied by those of Crocodile. You were pretty sure your legs gave in completely and you would have fallen to the ground during the kiss, if it wasn’t for the strong hand that was now wrapped around your waist, supporting your lower back.

The kiss was short, crocodile made sure not to overwhelm you with too much all of a sudden, which was a good idea cause the moment he broke away and straightened up a little, you could only stare at him and blink. A slight grin spread across his features, obviously pleased with the reaction he had provoked, and he wondered what other reactions he’d be able to get out of you now that you had taken this step to start an entirely new kind of relationship between the two of you.

“Change out of your work clothes and meet me at my study in half an hour. Work can wait. We’re going for dinner.”