#which just means i want to watch it when I'm in a mindset to appreciate it

[misctf]

Hey I've always been a pudgy and geeky type of guy and now at 50 I wish I had done things different. Could you change reality so I've always been a bear or daddy or age regress me so I'm a jock or himbo?

Are you sure you want this? I mean, I appreciate where you’re coming from. Really, I do. But are you sure? There’re risks and.... Okay I’ll spare you the details. You seem pretty set on this.

Cracks fingers.

Where to start... 50 years old, a tad pudgy, and I can tell that Star Wars shirt you’re wearing hasn’t been washed in a while. Not to worry!

Snaps fingers. The cold air now caressing your naked body.

Much better! Now I can see what I’m working with. Stay still please.

You feel my hands run along your pudgy, hairy gut. You wince as I give it a squeeze. You watch as I saunter behind you and yelp when I tug at the back hair that wraps up and around your shoulders. And as my hand runs along the thinning hair on your head, you gasp as a pressure emanates from within your brain.

Ah...Interesting... I can see it. Who you want to be... Okay, okay. This is gonna be tough, but just take a deep breath. And before I begin, you should know I set my clients up for success, which means... So... right... You’re full steam ahead. Sounds good!

You wince when I firmly grab your flabby chest and start massaging. A groan escapes your lips and you watch as the fat melts from your chest, leaving it flat. But with another squeeze, you watch as my hands begin to fill again. This time with your new muscle tit flesh. Bigger and bigger, until my hands can’t contain them. Firm and bounceable. Simultaneously, your skin heats up as your chest and back hair vanish, leaving you clean shaven. You watch as I give your nipples a squeeze and... the pleasure nearly knocks you off your feet. You moan as I pinch them between my fingers.

Like that? Yeah I can tell. I made them extra sensitive. Like so sensitive that the fabric of a shirt might make you cum. Oh don’t give me that look. Trust me, you’ll want to show off what I’m giving you. Okay... let’s...

My hands run along your abdomen and you feel like the wind is knocked out of you. The pudgy gut you sported before is starting to melt. Painful at first, but when you see the six pack you’re now sporting, you grin. But it’s short lived. You feel my hands firmly grip your ass. And this time, you moan as you feel your flabby ass firm up, filling with firm, bouncy fat and muscle. An ass that’ll always turn heads. And when I give your bubble butt a gentle slap, you moan loudly.

Yeah... what can I say? I want you to really enjoy your new body. Yeah... okay... I get you’re horny. Like hornier than you’ve ever been. But you’re turning out so well. We can’t stop now! Oh! Look at that! Your skin is starting to tan! See? We just need to get started and the rest follows. It’s like your body knows what its destined to become. But we’re missing something...

I run my hands up and down your arms, filling each of them with muscle. And then more. And then even more. They feel heavier to you. Bulging as if you’d just done curls for days. My hands don’t even come close to being able to wrap around them. And your shoulders... you’d never thought the whole ‘shoulders like boulders’ would ever apply to you. Now you’re a shining example.

Yeah, I know. Damn, dude. And I should ask... what’s your skin care routine? I jest, I jest. You’re 21, of course you have great skin! Haha you look so happy! Beats being 50, right? Oh! Before I forget...

You watch as I pull out a baseball cap and slap it on your head. Beneath it, you feel a burning sensation as your thinning hair grows in rapidly. And a few blond curls poke out from beneath your new hat.

So, what do you think? Of course, of course. I told you I’d help. And god, I gotta say you turned out hot. Now, I did tell you earlier that I set my clients up for success. And right now, you might have the body, but do you have the mindset? Okay, calm down... I did say there were risks, right? And I can’t let you ruin my work. Just stay still and...

You feel my hand on your head. And another around your growing cock.

Right... how does computer science fit into the new you? Or comic books? Okay, let’s get rid of that... and let’s move this here... and... Hey you good? You’re drooling all over yourself.

I give your cock a few tugs. A moan escapes your lips.

Phew! We’re still here. Right... okay let’s get rid of that... definitely get rid of this... Perfect! It’ll take a bit of space for all the knowledge to maintain this look. You’ll need most of your brain dedicated to workouts and diet. And since I doubt academics is your ticket to success, I might as well give you the knowledge to set up a successful OnlyFans account. Have any problems with that? I didn’t think so.  

I tug again on your cock, the pleasure somehow even more intense and your eyes roll back into your head.

Alright, but deep down you’re still that geeky guy. But with a body like this, it would be a waste not to have the right mindset for it. So, you get the idea? Shirtless, cocky, alpha douchebag. No more quiet geeky nerd. Yeah... look at that smirk. You’re getting it, now.

You flex in the mirror, the smirk never leaving your face. And then you turn back to me, gesturing toward your raging erection.

Well, what can I say. I.... Oh... Well, I mean if you insist. Might as well finish what I started. On my knees? Oh, okay... You want me to stop talking? Alright I.......

And as your cock meets the back of my throat and your moans fill the room, I couldn’t help but wonder if adding another douchey alpha bro to the world was worth it.

[11cupids-tarot11]

What has your future spouse been dreaming about lately?

For the divine feminine seeking the divine masculine •°. *࿐

1 -> 4

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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☆

Pile 1- The Chariot, Two of Swords, The Hanged Man

I'm getting the feeling your spouse really wants to make a move on you! He's dreaming about what it's like to be all in your space, he really wants to know what you're like. I was thinking at first that maybe he wants to spend time with you and know what it would be like to do mundane things with you like grocery shopping, but I think this guy is more curious than that. I think he wants to know just about you in general and what you like doing, he's the type to watch what you pick up and glance at during shopping just to get a feel of what you like. He wants to know your schedule, how your day went, he'll probably ask this a lot.

I feel like this person has a crush on you? He feels kinda stuck, like the hanged man lol. I'm not sure the circumstances or the dynamic of the relationship/how you'll come together but it surely feels like this person is very secretive with his thoughts of you, like he's very open telling me but he's scared to tell you? Like maybe this is someone you know of and you guys are friends and they're secretly crushing lol, that was very specific so it's okay if it doesn't resonate with everyone. This could also be a secret admirer for some.

But he's dreaming about changing something with you, planting roots and something stable. I'm not sure what the change will be, but I am seeing him thinking of different approaches to overcome whatever hardship is happening between you two, it could also be something on their end like maybe shadow work still needs to be done or they're still dealing with a karmic relationship of some sort.

It seems to me like they're sorting through everything, they might fantasize about things finally coming to an end and being able to start something with you. I know as soon as this is finished they're spreading towards you. I think they really just want you to know they're still coming? I got this rush feeling, like an adrenaline rush feeling? I think this person just wants you to know they're still clearing through some things! "Just hang in a little longer!" I'm hearing with a cute little smiley face ☺️. Your person is adorable! I think they love acts of service too!

I think if this were to be a 18+ reading they'd definitely tell you about all of the things they'd love to focus on your body and needs lol.

I have to make an 18+ version of this now 😂 stay tuned!

Don't forget to do the poll below! Talk again soon!!

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Pile 2- Six of Coins, Eight of Swords in reverse, The moon, Temperance, Ten of Cups.

Your person dreams about spoiling you, pampering you, taking you out on really fancy dates (plus showing you off 😵‍💫) just treating you like you are their everything. I hear it's because you are their everything! They adore you so much!

This person talks a lot too and wanted to pull extra cards when I usually only do a three card pull spread lol.

This card makes me feel like your person kinda feels like a spider stuck in it's own web right now, they're really in their head :( I getting your person has a negative mindset? For some of you it could be specific as they feel like they're not on the same level as you whatever that might mean to them. They dream about cutting out of their web, I think for the benefit of the connection really but also for their piece of mind, yk?

Maybe this person feels like they have to achieve a certain amount of wealth before they come to you, which goes hand in hand what I was saying about really wanting to spoil you lol they want to save up a bunch so they can have a great future with you and for those of you who want children they also want to build a family for you so of course they want to save for this too.

They dream about having a steady home with you, I think they like to fantasize about your future a lot lol. They say it won't be perfect but it'll be the definition of love like a real family should be lol. They want a balance with you, they're also the type to be very balanced in a relationship, they'll balance work and you at the same time. I honestly get the vibe that's why they're working so hard right now, so they can spend the rest of their time with you more!

I think this person dreams about the day you two unite! With the ten of cups I feel they dream about a happy home with you a lot, but also a happy relationship. I can guarantee this relationship will be very fulfilling and healing and loving. Their energy feels so excited to meet you if you guys haven't already, a healthy and loving relationship could be something they've always wished for so this is a wish fulfillment for them, they can't wait to experience real love with you. 🩵 The color blue might be specific for a few of you?

Don't forget to do the poll below! Talk to you soon love :))

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Pile 3- Knight of Coins, Justice (clarification cards- Death, and Strength), Two of Wands, Seven of Cups (clarification cards- Ten of Cups), and King of Swords (clarification cards- Knight of Wands)

I needed so much clarification for this group xD

Every time I look at the ducks eyes they always look so full of administration, anyone else see it? It's adorable. I channeled right away your person will adore you like this picture so I chose it!

I heard they think about this every day straight away lol.

Your future spouse fantasizes about putting hard work into you, really showing up for you I'm feeling. Like I feel like it's deeper than a materialistic matter, I feel like he really wants to support you emotionally. He doesn't want to be your therapist or anything it's like he just wants to make sure you're okay, he really cares about your well being. A better way to put this is that they really want to show up as a man in your life, one that doesn't have a toxic sense of masculinity and really respects women and wants to understand your needs, wants and boundaries I'm hearing. He likes to solve your problems because your problems are his problems.

He's dreaming about justice in a situation, I'm going to pull clarification cards for the Justice card to help understand a bit better because I want to know possibly in what situation, I can't figure that out on my own I'm not hearing much channeling on this card. The clarification cards just are making me feel it's probably a too personal situation they don't want me to know about, but maybe when you meet this person you will know because it's making me feel like it's linked to you, he probably doesn't want you to understand much either right now but he says he's working hard on getting justice in a situation he really wants to come to an end soon, I think when it's over it'll bring a lot of happiness, a shift in energy, a really big change :) He wants you to encourage him to be strong as he encourages you, it's a very tough situation maybe? Heavy energy kind of just came through me, like a little random rush of sadness just thinking about the question so I will move on now :)

This person fantasizes about making everything perfect a lot in a way, he really likes to plan. You'll notice this about them right away lol. They probably have a hectic schedule right now I'm hearing. They're possibly planning on how to get to you? This feels like a soulmate connection, something that's just supposed to happen because it just makes so much sense because you two love each other and really care for one another. This is someone who you can spend the rest of your life with because they're confident you two are a perfect match. Very equal in the relationship which is why it would work perfectly I'm hearing. He's just doing a bunch of planning right now, lots of thinking things over and through.

He dreams about probably having a lot of money, a level of fame? Maybe he's a celebrity or wants to be, he could be very creative and expensive. He dreams a lot very dreamy they could have water in their chart, they do feel emotional. They're so cute 😭

This person dreams about picking a path and advancing in it basically, they really want to be the boss, be at the top of their game whatever career or field it might be. They want a lot of abundance! They fantasize about being given an opportunity to present themselves, show off maybe. They could be a really good singer/rapper or some kind of performer. They could play an instrument.

I feel like they really want to settle down with you for sure though, they want to offer you a lot as well so they work really hard to show up financially, they could've grown up in poverty I'm hearing a specific message for some of you so being financially stable is everything for them. They want you right by their side ;)

This person was kinda hard to read but I think that's cause how dreamy they felt, thoughts kinda bouncing around everywhere haha, so take this how it resonates with you!

Don't forget to do the poll below!! Talk to you soon!

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Pile 4- Seven of Coins, The Magician (clarification cards- Three of wands), Seven of Wands (clarification cards- Death and Queen of Swords)

This person wants to start off with the seven of wands first even though it was the last card to be pulled lol.

They want to maybe draw attention to dreaming about fighting for something? They are very protective and will stand their ground and fight for what's theirs. I can't really tell, so I'm going to ask for clarification ;) I don't know why but I feel like they want to sabotage a relationship between you and someone else? I feel like they fantasize about this a lot! I feel like your energy is the Queen of wands but you don't really see this person! This could be a clue your future spouse is someone you already know!

They dream about making you theirs lol stealing you away. 😋

So with that, they're also dreaming about the future with you! Working on their finances as well, but also thinking about what it would be like in the future with you. This person feels like they're confident they will have a future with you lol. Maybe they're not making a move right now because they want to build up their finances more for the long run with you, because when they do make a move on you they plan to commit deeply and I'm hearing they fell hard for you, and you possibly don't even know it 😵‍💫.

😭 🩷 you probably drive this person crazy lmao

He's probably manifesting you lol?

I asked for clarification for the magician as well and it just makes me think he's really brainstorming a lot right now? I think every pile had a lot of thinking in them but never really being too specific on what and I'm always left with so much quietness so I'm left in the dark😭

They're just really thinking a lot which makes me think it's only about you. They seem shy, they could be younger than you? They seem like they're too scared to tell you how they really feel. Could be scared of rejection? But they really do fantasize about you a lot! They think about you constantly and different ways to impress you, how to get your attention. They really want you my pile 4's and they're fighting hard hehe. They won't back down either!

They think you're very pretty, like the bunny in the picture 😻. Hehe cute.

They might call you princess a lot, or other cute little pet names. They feel very affectionate, they have a lot of love to give! This person isn't someone to be scared of, they do care about you! It's not all about lust, there's love here as well as admiration! They do adore you!

Don't forget to do the poll below!! Talk again soon love!!

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[study-diaries]

Productive Things To Do Over Senior Year Summer Year [Guide + List]

Here is something that most don't tell you. After high school is over, everyone goes into a break mode. Which is completely fine, but the tricky part comes when they completely spend the days scrolling Instagram and watching YouTube videos.

I'm not against social media, definitely no. But I still feel that there is a way to productively use that time spent on your phone. I also don't believe in blindly hustling, so this is fully going to be customized and focused on what you specifically want. Literally.

So, here's how to have a productive and fun summer break.

Step 1: Figure Out What You Want

You have to honestly answer these questions in order for this to work. No influences.

So, take a pen and let's figure it out together: -

What are you currently interested in? (Could be anything. Literally. Finance, marketing, riding a bike, photography)

What kind of person do I want to be by the end of this summer? (Give every detail. Is it productive with a skill? Or is it just a more peaceful person with a more stable mindset?)

What opportunities might come in the next year that I want to be prepared for? (Again, you have to think about this. All on your own)

What times of day am I most focused?

What responsibilities do I need to work around? (family, chores, part-time jobs etc)

Once you have the answers to these questions, you have a general idea of what you want to do, not what you have to do or whatever your delusional idea of productivity is.

Step 2: Create Your Plan

Based on whatever those answers are, create a plan. Not just any plan, it should be something you like. See, most don't like school because they don't see the point of it, they get restricted access of learning that depends mostly on grades.

This would be something that you chose on your own, so obviously there are more chances of you getting it down and actually being excited for it.

So, Make a list of around 3-4 goals that you have to reach by the end of summer. It could be anything. Learning a skill, language or just habit building.

Step 3: Hack Your Algorithms

I don't think most people highlight this specific thing but it's honestly really easy. Social media is not the problem, literally it's not. Here's an easy way to use it that is actually productive:

Search For Things That You Want To Learn.

Watch Content Only Related To That.

If you look at my YouTube homepage, you'd only find business, marketing, coding and finance related videos. Because that is what I actually watch. My screen time on YouTube is at least 3-4 hours. And that is what gets recommended to me every time I open any platform. The more you search for content you're interested about, the more it gets recommended to you.

Step 4: Take Action

I could give you a blueprint and it would not be enough if you don't follow it. So, take actions. Literally. Mini steps every day that pile up when you look back after 3 months.

Small actions performed consistently every day for a week is better than time intensive actions performed only once a week.

Step 5: Have Fun Too. Major Priority

Just because you find yourself wanting to be productive, that doesn't mean you should completely ignore having fun. Set your goals, take steps and actually have fun too.

You need a holistic development plan, not a narrow one. So, go out, have sleepovers, plan loosely and actually live.

You can be productive and fun!

A List Of 15 Things [For People Who Actually Have No Idea What They Want To Do]

📖 Read — Fiction, non-fiction, historical... just something that moves you. 🧑‍💻 Take a course — Online or offline. Choose something you’re curious about. 🎨 Learn basic graphic design — Try Canva, Photoshop, or GIMP . Anything. 💸 Start learning financial literacy — Budgeting, saving, investing. 🎬 Watch documentaries — Pick a topic that fascinates you and dive straight in 🚶 Go on walks — Move your body, appreciate your surroundings 💪 Exercise — It doesn’t have to be intense. Just to keep yourself active. 🧺 Plan a picnic with friends — No productivity, just having fun. 👨‍💻 Learn to code — There are so many free resources. Learn anything. Front end. Backend. 🧹 Declutter your surroundings — Because it helps you to clear your mind. 🛏️ Clean your room and move stuff around — You probably haven't done that in a while. 👩‍🏫 Tutor someone — Keeps you occupied. You help someone and can even charge some meagre charges. 🖌️ Paint, draw, or create — Creativity is really important. 📓 Journal your thoughts — Just let it out. No prompts. Just write what you feel 🍳 Learn to cook — It helps in the long run and you get to eat it later ;)

_______________________________

I hope it helps ! :)

[musette22]

I don't know why, but I keep seeing fans who say they're stucky fans but they seem to like one guy and hate the other. Like some Bucky fans complain about how Steve abandoned Bucky and wasn't nice to him, and some Steve fans complain every time you talk about Bucky and his trauma, going 'What about Steve!?' It feels like you have to pick one or the other. It feels almost weird that I love about care about both of them. Why is that so difficult? Why can't you just enjoy the characters and how much they love each other?

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear you'be been struggling with this! That sounds very tiring and a bit upsetting. First of all, I have to admit that I don't really share your experience, which might have something to do with the people I follow and the fandom bubble I'm in, in which most people share my own mindset and preferences. I almost exclusively know and follow people on here who, like me, love both Steve AND Bucky equally, and who either ship Stucky or at least care a lot about their relationship. So in my experience, everyone is just enjoying the characters and how much they love each other! I'm not saying this to be like "what are you talking about", by the way, but more to show you that it is possible to enjoy both characters and how much they love each other, without people coming at you from all sides <3

Having said that though, I am of course aware of the widespread Steve criticism (if not to say hate) that got a lottt of traction after Endgame (which, fuck Endgame), but I am personally of the opinion that if someone really thinks Steve would abandon Bucky like he did in Endgame, and you blame the character for that decision rather than the writers etc, then you don't know Steve at all, ergo your opinion on him is void, as far as I'm concerned. If I see people saying nonsense like that on here, I will either roll my eyes or just block them outright, to protect my peace. And that works really well, generally speaking.

As for Steve fans going "What about Steve!?" when you want to talk about Bucky - Although I'm sure there are some Steve fans who prefer Steve over Bucky or even don't really care about Bucky (which is wiiiiiiild to me, because how can you say you care about a character but not care about what that character cares about most at all??), generally speaking, I don't know that I see people asking "But what about Steve" as an inherent dismissal of Bucky, or people expecting others to choose sides? It may well be the case sometimes, but I doubt that's always what it means, you know? Perhaps that helps?

I think that in the fandom spaces we're in, Bucky is a lot more popular and loved as a character (especially these days, post EG) than Steve is, which makes sense considering Bucky's kind of the perfect blorbo, and there is still new Bucky content coming out, and, of course, he is just really fucking amazing and loveable. But yeah, there is no shortage of Bucky love or discussion in this fandom, which I am personally delighted about and will always do my best to contribute to as well because he is my forever blorbo too. But I guess I can see why people would sometimes feel like Steve is not quite getting the love he deserves, you know? Still though, if someone goes "But what about Steve!?" on a post that is about Bucky, that is just very annoying and unnecessary, I totally agree. If people feel that way, they should make their own post about it, not hinder others in their Bucky loving!

I do get hate sometimes from people who say I don't appreciate the characters enough on their own because I always discuss them as a package deal, but frankly, I don't really give a damn about that. I am a Stucky shipper first and foremost, and for me, these characters ARE just inextricably connected. A Steve without Bucky by his side, or a Bucky without Steve by his side, just doesn't feel right to me, which is one of the reasons why I choose not to watch any post-Endgame content. And if others have an issue with that, well, then that's their issue, not mine.

So perhaps you could try and apply that kind of mindset to your situation as well, anon? Focus on loving our boys, equally, and together, and don't let anyone get in your way! The block button and tag filters are your best friends, and following the right people - people who are kind and reasonable and who share your mindset - is essential. I don't know if this helps at all, and do let me know if you want to talk about this some more, but I hope this is useful in some way! Sending love and hugs, and ALLLLL of the love for both our beautiful boys ❤️

[dano-or-not]

I have periods every once in a while where I freak out and get sad thinking "oh no Reigen has treated Mob kind of shitty in the past :(". I think it is a byproduct of so much media having their characters be angels who never do something just genuinely shitty and the common "it's better to do nothing wrong than one thing right" mentality. And then I have to fight to get back to the mindset of "yeah he does have flaws. He did try to hold Mob back because of his own insecurities, lied about who he is, didn't appreciate Mob, and had Mob order a smaller portion of ramen than himself. But then he realized that, owned up to it, and made the conscious effort to become the person he is now; the person who would put his life on the line for kids multiple times, the person who helps train for marathons, the person who encourages others to do the right thing, the person who takes friends on vacations, the person who gives people a second chance, the person who often buys his student’s favorite food to share with said student, the person who people can come to with issues they don’t feel comfortable going to anyone else with, the person who cares so much about the little boy who changed his life that he'll do anything to make that little boy love himself even if it means he has to stand back and watch him forge a new path that isn't as deeply interwoven with his own anymore.

But even before the Separate Ways arc, he was an asshole sometimes but not a bad person. He did good things for strangers and friends alike for no reason. He encouraged Mob to be an individual even though doing such directly contradicted why he originally hired Mob, he put his life on the line both with the Claw 7th Division and Mogami for Mob, on jobs he’d lie about what he was doing but still do his damn hardest to solve their problems, he was always on Mob's side, and encouraged the Claw lackeys to be better people, just for example. The biggest part of Mob's development was accepting his powers, and he probably would have stopped using them altogether after hurting Ritsu had Reigen not found a way for him to use them comfortably by setting ground rules and letting using them be something Mob has control over and never pushing for him to use them when he doesn't want to (which he was the only person to do so). And that's why he is one of my favorite characters of all time. and why I can safely agree with Mob that he is genuinely a good guy."

I'm not saying he never did anything wrong and that his mistakes are nonexistent. The point is the opposite. His strengths and goodness can be focused on instead of his flaws because his flaws don't define him and he's grown beyond that. "Yeah, that was a crappy thing for him to do. He made mistakes, just like Mob and Dimple and Ritsu and every single person on the entire planet because all human beings do crappy things and make mistakes. Good thing he apologized, made up for it, and grew up. Now he gets to be silly goofy bff."

What's more important; the fact that he was an asshole, or that he isn't one anymore?

[olderthannetfic]

Weird take I saw: you know how everyone hates the word "content"? Apparently the word "creator" is catching stray bullets meant for it. Three times now, I've seen people get angry at the term "creator" being used to refer to people who make stuff in fandom. Twice for people who were both writers and fanartists, and once for someone who does fanart, fanfic, cosplay, cosplay tutorials, fanvids, and custom dolls that look like characters. The word is allegedly a sign you're viewing your own work through an algorithm-focused mindset. You must be terminally online. You're content-brained. You're using marketing language. You must be thinking of yourself in terms of making content to be consumed instead of making art to be appreciated.

I'm an animation nerd and this was wild to me because "the creator of [show here]" has been standard nomenclature since... I'm actually not sure when? I know 20 years ago I heard it on the DVD commentary of Invader Zim, and if there's one man who doesn't play to an algorithm but instead appears to be just heeding the whims of his creative mind, it's Jhonen Vasquez. The man who made a cartoon in which one of the main characters gleefully tells the title character, "They might even name your autopsy video after me!" and has an episode about the title character stealing people's organs isn't trying to go viral or be palatable to the masses or be popular. Not only because the algorithm didn't exist at the time, but because sometimes the result of your creative vision is only going to be of interest to a certain demographic of people, period. (Also, for all the concern about this being marketing language, you'd only get to it if you'd already bought the DVD.)

I also remember 28 years ago when I was watching my little brother and he was watching PBS. Arthur was credited as "created by Mark Brown". Was Mark Brown chasing the algorithm? Was PBS thinking of him in terms of making content to be consumed instead of art to be appreciated?

I'm sure someone will take issue with this but I think it's fine to refer to yourself as the creator of something. The creator of this AU, this cosplay, this whatever - creator means the person who made it. If that is in fact you, then I don't see what the issue is beyond "well it has a word in common with content creator and I don't like that term!"

And y'know, we all have words we dislike. Obviously. That's fine. You're not obligated to like the word creator. But asking people drop something that's been common vocabulary for at least 30 years if not more or else you'll judge them as "content brained" seems unreasonable. I'm very much a pessimist and even I find this too pessimistic.

Sometimes someone did in fact create something and it's not a bad thing if they say that. You're only going to miss out on good art by doing this, you're not going to actually meaningful fight the increasing number of people who actually are "content brained".

--

If you want to understand this kind of gripe, you're going to have to pay significantly more attention to grammar and context.

[lesbianphan]

I know this is gonna be mushy and overly emotional and I'm sorry for oversharing a bit, but I feel like it's necessary to put into words what rewatching We're All Doomed means to me personally. I watched the kiswe premiere event live and it was one of the most fun nights I've had in a while, even though my life felt extremely hopeless at the time.

And, look, here's the thing: when the WAD premiere dropped, I had completely given up on improving things. In fact, I was very much in the 'doomed' mentality. I had long accepted that there was no way my life would get better. So Dan's message really resonated with me: it's easy to settle for being at rock bottom and thinking that's all there is for me. I was happy to see Dan doing better, but deep down I didn't truly believe his words either, not really. I did want to, but I wasn't quite there. And I don't believe them all the time, as he himself said he doesn't, and doing the show many times hammers the point home into his head.

After experiencing it, I thought maybe, just maybe, I could stop only embracing the void, but start having the courage to exist as well. Putting myself out there more, trying to make a world for myself in which I'm not the :/ emoji all the time. So I applied for the jobs, I wrote what I wanted, I unapologetically embraced the nerdy things and the fandoms I enjoyed. I decided I can choose happiness in the smallest of ways, even when it sounds silly and unimportant. Because it isn't unimportant really if it means something to me.

Rewatching the show last night showed me how much it changed my life and the big leaps it helped me take in life. I have so much more to learn, but I keep telling myself to be brave (lmao sorry had to sneak the Phil reference) and have the courage to exist. Really truly exist out in the world, not hidden inside my room. And sure, some days are harder than the others, some days I really don't like myself at all. Even in those days, though, I tell myself: all I have to do is have the courage to exist.

I went in to watch WAD with no expectations, and I feel like the message of appreciating the little moments was so monumental, it truly absolutely had a huge impact in my own life. I have a job now, and some financial stability. To be honest, I never thought I'd get this job, I might not even have applied if I wasn't in this mindset. In so many ways, Dan and Phil have profoundly changed my life, and I think WAD is just one of those big examples.

I doubt the real humans Dan and Phil will ever understand the impact they've had on this world, but I'll forever wish them the best. I'll always support them, because their creations have irrevocably changed me as a person, and as much as I like joking around and stuff, I'm just thankful that we share this existence, and we get to have fun and be forever changed by it.

Thanks @danielhowell, you'll never know how huge the impact of this show was, but I am truly crying writing this and I hope one day I get to tell you in person how much you inspired me to keep going when no one else would.

[anti-dazai-blog]

miniseries -- BSD Characters as Musicals

part 1 -- ADA part 2 -- PM part 3 -- Guild part 4 -- DOA + Hunting Dogs

*standard disclaimer that this isn't meant to be taken too seriously

[content warning for musicals that heavily feature. 1930s-40s Germany and sexual abuse? I guess? not even sure what to call some of these]

Part 5 -- 15 + Stormbringer original Characters

Rimbaud -- Moulin Rouge

why? -- the whole 'I love you. But I have a job to do.' that he's got going on with Verlaine.

Rimbaud 🤝 Satine: 'I love you, I would die for you, but you are actively doing something that will put us both in danger and you gotta stop this.'

---

Verlaine -- Epic

why? -- he really does live by the "ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves" mindset.

he's really out here killing everyone. just to be safe. just to make sure there's no one left alive who could mess up his epic plans of hanging out with his brother.

very intentional of me to choose the Ocean Saga cover for the image here

---

Albatross -- Starlight Express

why? -- it's trains. it's about trains racing. and he's the fast transportation guy.

---

Pianoman -- Beetlejuice

why? -- they.. they like to wear the same aesthetic.

I'm positive he owns a black and white striped suit. it's practically canon.

---

Lippmann-- Mean Girls

why? -- well I'm not calling my guy Regina George but he sure does know how to play politics. Mr PR man. Beautiful. Can destroy your life if he so wished.

---

Iceman -- A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder

why? -- he's known to kill with whatever's on hand or available. Doesn't even bring his own weapons to a murder. Very Monty Navarro of him.

Monty 🤝 Iceman: getting a bit creative with the murder methods

---

Murase -- Cabaret

why? -- similar to Clifford Bradshaw, when he was desperate for work, he took a job that ultimately lead to him doing something harmful (in his case, killing children)

and I'd like to think that similar to Clifford, if he had the chance to just. straight up beat up the government (or his brother) that had him doing this job, he would.

although he's still in contact with N, I'd like to think that if he were made aware of what was going on, he would choose violence.

[content warning before you go and listen to cabaret: if you're not familiar with Cabaret, this is fully about nazi germany. and although clifford (the male lead) does beat up a nazi, it ultimately doesn't end well for anyone. so. do with that what you will.]

---

N -- G*psy

why? -- it's the whole Making someone into something they're not. whether they like it or not. Molding someone into what you want them to be. Forcibly.

I was debating between N or Mori for this one, but Mori's more subtle than this.

The scene where Rose forces Louise to do the strip show really was just. blatant. The taking of someone's bodily autonomy through force for personal gain.

Both N and Rose use more manipulation tactics than physical force to strong-arm people. And both are convinced that they're not doing anything wrong. No matter how bad their actions are, they're convinced that they're working towards some greater goal.

and they both pretty much get away with it

(N dying doesn't count because from his pov he still succeeded in every way)

---

Dr. Mary Wollstonecraft -- Firebringer

why? -- we're back to the silly goofy musicals!! yeah it's just for the whole appreciation of innovation. hot take, Mary and Zazzalil would get along. in fact Mary would respect her. The inventor of fire and the inventor of sentient androids. they'd love that.

---

Adam -- Maybe Happy Ending

why? -- androids going against their programming by falling in love with each other? This would be his new 'watch on repeat' show

which he could do literally. as an android. he could attend the show once and record it with his internal cameras, and then watch it whenever he wants.

I recognize that he's a law enforcement officer of some sort and it's probably not encouraged for him to take illegal recordings, however. he does have free will. so let him do with that what he will.

---

Shirase -- Bad Cinderella

why? -- Thinks of himself as cool. Everyone around him finds him annoying.

I'm so sorry Shirase I love you but you're objectively an annoyance to everyone who puts up with you.

[iris-sistibly]

I know I need to calm the fuck down first but one word to describe episode 6: STRESS!!

📍I love seeing Hyun-woo and Hae-in having a...sort of second honeymoon in Germany but I couldn't really enjoy every scene because I'm stressing out at how fucking OBLIVIOUS the Hong family is like bitch y'all are surrounded by snakes and they're so complacent 😭😭😭 I mean it's not really their fault that there are opportunists who'd earn their trust first then slither their way to bite them in the ass, but I just find it ironic at how protective they are at their family business and wealth but they can't see through the REAL people who has every intention to bring them down.

📍Speaking of which, I have read a fan theory somewhere that Mo Seul-hee is the mom of Eun-seong and Da-hye. Could be, OR Grace could be Da-hye's mom considering how Grace acted towards her. But why are they so keen at bringing the Hong family down?

📍Maybe it's just me but I don't think Da-hye is that bad, I have a feeling that she'll eventually come to her senses and take Hyun-woo's side and expose Eun-seong and co.

📍My overthinker/delulu self thinks that Soo-cheol and Da-hye's baby is actually Hyun-woo and Hae-in's kid. I mean, it wasn't shown how they lost their baby...yet. So Hae-in either miscarried, or she gave birth to a still born child? But what if the child is actually alive and one of those evil bitches cooked up some shit to make it seem like Hyun-woo and Hae-in's baby died, and then that baby was registered as Soo-cheol and Da-hye's kid? I know it sounds insane, but we're only on episode 6 so more crazy shit could happen in the future episodes, you'll never know. But my normal self says I've watched too many Filipino dramas growing up (and yes, that shit happens a lot in Filo-dramas).

📍Speaking of that kid, another theory is...what if that kid is actually Eun-seong and Da-hye's? Soo-cheol is a dumbass, and again, those bitches could have manipulated that baby's DNA test result or something. Again, that's just me being an overthinker, also I hate my Filo-drama mindset.

📍Aunt Beom-ja being so concerned about Hae-in and her dad but I also appreciate the fact that she respected her niece's request to not tell anyone about her illness. I also hope that she'll be able to help Hyun-woo clear his name and uncover Seul-hee and gang's dirty little secret.

📍BUT Y'ALL KNOW WHO STRESSED THE SHIT OUT OF ME THIS EPISODE? BAEK FUCKING HYUN-WOO!!! I am so freaking annoyed that he didn't tell Hae-in about the divorce when he had the chance. He was probably worried at how Hae-in would react plus the latter was going through medical treatments so he probably didn't want to put too much stress on her, but Hae-in was bound to find out either way so...yeah I do get why he chose to keep the divorce to himself but he could have just told the truth and suck it up, and perhaps they could communicate better when it comes to issues like this.

📍One thing I noticed about Hyun-woo is that he's brave in so many ways but also a coward on one thing. I mean he talks with Hae-in about nice things and all, and he is his wife's confidante, but I don't think I've ever heard him talk the way Hae-in does, meaning he never had the balls to talk to his wife about the..."unpleasant" side of their marriage. Hae-in was able to talk to him about her illness, the last will and testament that her mom pressured her to write, and Hyun-woo didn't even think about bringing up the divorce papers.

Prior to episode 5, I really thought that Hae-in was the one who shut him out but it was actually the other way around. Wifey may seem cold and nonchalant but if there's one person she'd listen to, it's him. Perhaps he doesn't want to say something that would upset Hae-in but the point is...she's his wife, she's supposed to know what he thinks, how he feels about certain things, even the not-so-pleasant side of their relationship. I really hope that in the next episode or the episode after that he'll be able to communicate better.

📍Hae-in's mom is terrible af. Imagine blaming your own daughter for the death of your son. I mean she didn't deserve to lose a child, but it's unfair to put all the blame on Hae-in (like why?). It's not like she endangered herself on purpose, and she had the audacity to be upset when Hae-in did something nice to her in-laws? Like what is wrong with this woman? Why can't see realize her own mistakes?

📍I kind of teared up when Hae-in was telling Hyun-woo about the things the latter should do when she dies. She could die, and this show might give us a bittersweet ending but when that time comes I'd be really, really hurt. Also, Hae-in confessing that the only reason she wrote her will about Hyun-woo not getting anything should they divorce was so that she'll be allowed to marry him 😭 (just shows she fought hard for him and she'll do absolutely anything to be with him). God I hate her mom! And yes the epilogue was so cute, now we know that they have always been in-love with each other. But I guess...they need a time-out 🤷.

📍Hae-in called Hyun-woo "yeobo" 🥹🥹🥹

[danganronpadedication]

DAY 16: DANGANTOBER

Day 16: Favorite Scene

There are so many scenes that I could call my favorite of the series. I like scenes that are silly and lighthearted, and some that are bone-chilling. There were scenes that I was delighted by, and scenes that left me with a sinking pit of dread in my stomach. The scene that I decided to go with is one that caught me off-guard on first viewing. When it played out on my screen late one Wednesday night, it EMBEDDED itself in my memory, and crosses my mind at least once a week. Yep, the GIF is a dead giveaway, it's a scene that I call "Makoto's Despair".

Original Uploader: Nagito Komeada on YouTube (yes, it's spelled that way in their user)

When I say my jaw dropped during this scene, I meant it. I'm someone who really appreciates when things get more disturbing in this way, even if the scene itself involves subject matter that scares me. It shows guts, and its a good way to make me feel the stakes and tension that is needed to become invested. Readers of my posts will know exactly the reason this scene freaks me out, and if you're unfamiliar, I have my makeup post for yesterday coming out very soon and it will talked about on there. Some background information and summary on the scene for those of you who didn't watch the anime, or are too chicken to watch the scene. This scene takes place in Episode 11 'All Good Things' of Future Arc. After Kyoko's death in episode 10 'Death, Destruction, and Despair', Aoi finds a journal underneath her body. Written in the journal is Kyoko's deduction and conclusion on who the traitor in the Future Foundation killing game is. She hypothesized that there was no traitor, and that the monitors placed throughout the hallways of the facility were somehow brainwashing whoever was closest to them between rounds to commit unalive. To test her theory, Makoto decides to use himself as the subject for the experiment. He is tied to a chair in front of a monitor, while everyone else goes into a room without monitors. The round ends, and everyone is put to sleep. Makoto is woken up shortly afterwards by the red glow of the monitor. The monitor begins to play a video of Monokuma, and begins the brainwashing sequence. Makoto finds himself in a strange, void-like place. Kyoko and Sayaka appear, taunting him with reminders of the Hope's Peak killing game. Sayaka reminds him that he was unable to get her out like he promised, and Kyoko blames him for her death. His other deceased classmates also appear, and their bodies start to change to resemble how they looked when they died. Makoto tries to apologize, saying he just wanted everyone to be together and happy.

Outside of this void, which is assumedly his mind, Makoto is screaming and struggling to get off the chair. He gets himself free, and a knife drops from the monitor. He picks it up, and in his mind, Kyoko and Sayaka tell him to join them. Makoto has a strained grin on his face, and opens his eyes, now swirling with red spirals. He says he'll join them, but he's stopped by Juzo Sakakura. Juzo uses some 'not so gentle' means to get Makoto to snap out of it. Makoto then returns to the others with confirmation for Kyoko's theory.

This scene is one that provides good insight into who Makoto is as a person. In my Day 3 post for Dangantober, I briefly talked about Makoto having survivor's guilt, and this scene is my basis for that claim. It's very on the nose about it. Survivor's guilt is a trauma response that can happen when someone feels guilty over surviving an event where others died. It can cause similar symptoms to PTSD and other traumatic disorders. It's the idea of "why was I the one to live, and not these other people?", which is obviously an unhealthy mindset.

Makoto hides it well, but he does display certain symptoms of survivor's guilt. In episode 6, 'No Man Is An Island', Makoto has a vivid nightmare of Kyoko's death, with Munakata blaming Makoto for her death. Specifically, saying that Makoto was at fault for thinking he would be able to go through the entirety of this game without sacrificing someone close to him. Intense and vivid nightmares that harken back to whatever traumatic event happened or is currently happening, is one of the main symptoms of survivor's guilt.

Aside from serving as excellent foreshadowing for episode 10, this nightmare is a sign that the active stress from being in this new killing game is getting to him. His survivor's guilt would worsen as a result of Kyoko's real death, since the circumstances would lead him to believe it was his fault for just surviving.

See, the Future Foundation killing game has a special twist to it. Everyone has a bracelet on their wrist, that has a "Forbidden Action" on it. Doing this action will result in your death via the release of a certain poison. For example, Makoto's forbidden action is running in the halls, so Aoi gives him a piggyback ride. Kyoko's forbidden action is "Passing the 4th time limit with Makoto Naegi alive". If he lives past the fourth round, which he did, she would die. She deliberately hides this from him, not wanting him to worry.

Now that she's dead, he learns about her forbidden action, and he nearly shuts down with grief. Yet another person he cares about, gone instead of him. From this point onwards, he spends a lot of his time doing more reckless actions in order to stop this game, from confronting Munakata (who wants Makoto dead or captured) to this very incident with the video.

The guilt is pushing him to move without regard for himself, which is very close to more self-destructive symptoms of survivor's guilt. That's also why Kyoko plays such a big part in this scene. It's fresh trauma, fresh pain, that only serves to amplify these feelings within him.

Of course, Makoto manages to recover and pick himself back up with help from the people around him, like Aoi, and Munakata after a change of heart. He's a strong person, he's resilient, and he is the Ultimate Hope for a reason. There is no easy wrap-up for dealing with survivor's guilt. He's always going to be dealing with these feelings, but hopefully, as the world heals, so will he.

Besides, it definitely helps that Kyoko actually survives.

-Mod Tsumugi

[m1ssunderstanding]

Thank you for tagging me @glowing-gold and @crepesuzette2023 it's always fun to talk about writing with you guys.

How many works do you have on A03?

Five

What's your total word count?

141,094

What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Cast Iron Shore -- The Reeperbahn -- Fixing a Hole -- The Importance of Being Erstwhile -- Taking Trophies

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always respond eventually. I tend to go through self-hate spirals after posting things where I can't even acknowledge that the thing exists and looking at comments would be acknowledging that so i ignore everything for a long time. But. I will respond eventually because I sincerely appreciate comments. I love that people take the time to let me know what they liked. I'm sorry and I'm working on this!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Definitely Taking Trophies. It's literally just angry sex that resolves nothing.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

The Reeperbahn had to end gloriously golden for all the shit I put them through for all that time to be worth it.

Do you write crossovers?

Lol in high school I wrote a fic where Marius and Cosette are the Parents in Cinderella 2015. So no. The answer is no.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes and it was the greatest day of my life.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. My inclination is to go kinky but I try to keep it vaguely normal lol

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope:)

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. That would be so cool!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Mclennon is the only thing I've actually ever shipped

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

The Mystery of the Missing Paul is what I've been calling it lately. It would just have to be so long in order to be done right and I'd want it done right, you know? It's just got to be novel length with actual novel amount of planning and development and structuring etc which I can't commit to unfortunately.

What are your writing strengths?

I mean everybody thinks this, but I think I really *get* both John and Paul and can put myself convincingly in their messed-up heads. As far as actual writing, I love to write dialogue. It's always what I write first, actually and comes pretty naturally.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Smut! Embarrassing but true. When some people talk about how difficult it is to write in a second language, I'm like yes! That sounds like me trying to write sex! And it's because only in the last few years of my life have I been breaking out of the puritanical mindset I was raised with. So while I love reading smut, writing it is extremely difficult for me.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

basically my rule is this: if we were watching this, would there be subtitles provided on the screen? Or would we be able to get what they're saying from context clues? If it's the former, just say "in German" or something. If it's the later, and it's just a few lines, it's fine.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Les Miserables. That book took over my life for a few years. I wrote a 30k fix-it just for myself before I even knew people published fanfiction.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for but really want to?

I mean it's still in the Beatles, but I'd love to write a Linda/Yoko fic where they run away back to New York together and live their best independent artistic lives and raise Heather and Kyoko and go down in history as avant garde lesbians. John and Paul continue to bitch at each other tangentially and Yoko and Linda are unconcerned even though they both agree their exes are gay idiots. Maybe they decide to help them. Maybe they decide to Live and Let Die, who knows. But it would center on them.

tagging @adriennefrombrooklyn @eveepe @scurator @notgrungybitchin @saint-mona

[vacate-et-scire]

hi!!! omg i love (blue lock) matchups so when i saw that u we’re doing one i couldn’t resist hehe ^^

i’m an pisces (or isfj if mbti is better) and i think i’m a pretty awkward person ö i over share a lot in uncomfortable environments but ive gotten a lot better at socializing with ppl i don’t know that well. i loveee to do charcoal drawings specifically still lifes or reproductions bc i lowk suck at doing anything original ^^; i play the sims TOO much, like recently hit 1100 hours

i loveee to dress girly i don’t wear pants, usually skirts and dresses only, and i have a super complex nighttime routine. i go to bed at 8 and wake up at 5 and my friends make fun of me for it all the time :,( despite liking traditionally feminine things i suck at sewing, baking, and cooking. ive burnt a frozen pizza before. i try to keep an open mindset with hobbies but domestic stuff is noottt my thing. i mostly value intelligence in romantic partners and sense of humor!! i think im a nice person but sometimes i can be a little mean, so somebody who isnt offended easily either. i love these events TYSM <3

Your Blue Lock Matchup: Yoichi Isagi

When I think about someone who could perfectly complement your personality, Yoichi Isagi comes to mind. He's empathetic and adaptable, which makes him the ideal match for someone who’s working on socializing and their own awkwardness. Isagi thrives on connection and understanding, which means he’d never judge you for oversharing or feeling uncomfortable in certain situations. Instead, he’d actively listen and offer the kind of reassurance that puts you at ease. He has a knack for making people feel seen and appreciated, and that’s exactly the kind of energy you deserve in a partner.

Your love of art would captivate Isagi. He has a deep appreciation for dedication and effort people put into their passions, and you would inspire him, even if he's never really been an art guy himself, not that he doesn't like in, no, Isagi loves art he's just never been good at it without instructions. Even if you’re self-conscious about not being “original,” Isagi would be your biggest supporter, reminding you that talent shines in all forms. He’d probably sit by your side, watching you draw with fascination, and ask questions about your process.

Your 1100+ hours of Sims gameplay?(Sorry this is insane btw holy that's a lot, as someone who plays the sims I'm impressed) He might tease you about it at first, but secretly, he’d love watching you design houses and create drama for your virtual families. He’s the type of person who’d be down to play alongside you, even if he doesn’t understand all the mechanics. He'd try and recreate his own family in the Sims, including himself, and then he'd attempt to make you as well.

Your girly, feminine style would absolutely charm Isagi. He’s a guy who appreciates beauty in the little things. Your nighttime routine would impress him, since I think he's always wanted to try skincare before, but he simply never got into it beyond a moisturizer and facial cleanser. He also keeps a rather well maintained sleep schedule, making sure your time together fits seamlessly into your routine.

When it comes to domestic hobbies like sewing, baking, or cooking, Isagi wouldn’t mind your mishaps at all. He’d be the kind of partner who laughs it off with you. Isagi himself can cook, he learned from his mother early on, and I believe this to the high heavens because he is a walking green flag, he'd love to teach you how to cook or bake since he has the basics down.

Most importantly, Isagi aligns with your values as a partner. He’s highly intelligent, both on and off the field, and his sharp thinking would keep you engaged and intrigued. His sense of humour, though subtle, is quick and clever, and he’d know just how to make you laugh, and he loves making you laugh, your smile is probably one of his favourite things ever. If you’re in a mood where you might come off as a little mean, Isagi wouldn’t be fazed, I mean, have you seen how he handles some of his more gruff teammates? His even temperament and ability to laugh things off would make him a perfect match for someone who needs a partner who doesn’t take things too personally.

[liketwoswansinbalance]

Part II of Control vs. Apathy vs. Power Themes

(Really just another attempt at figuring out what drives Rafal part of the time, in the rare, non-ambitious contexts. As always, feel free to disagree with me!)

If anyone is intrigued by the concept of never having been born or the mind being incapable of imagining it, watch this philosophical video. It became a source of inspiration for this and...

Unrelatedly, here was an excerpt I found interesting:

"[Something is] just a symbol and yet it's real. It has real power. How? Where does meaning come from? It only exists because of our imagination. Fantasy is not a supplement to reality. It isn't some extraneous alternative. Fantasy is the only thing that makes it all work. Anything that means anything falls under Lacan's category of the symbolic. A symbol only communicates something properly if you and I agree on what it means."

Aside from the philosophy, a nameless character the video discussed also happened to remind me of the general Rafal vs. identity conflict.

Now, the following post can be considered a continuation of this post and this ask which discusses asceticism/mindset, making this post Part III of this unintended "series."

This post deals also with themes of misanthropy and apathy (similar thought process, of just not caring, delineated in the reblog here and in this ask).

I suppose you could consider the following a web-weave of some form?

I think Rafal oscillates, or more gradually alternates, between states of misanthropy (like: "What's your damage, man?") and apathy (he doesn't seem to (often) feel rage affectively and highly outwardly every time, does he? He does act on feelings though).

What of his is performative? (I've asked this question before. This time, it's in reference to the quote: "The seats are empty. The theatre is dark. Why are you still acting?") Actually, the question of who you are when the lights are off and no one's watching is always a classic, fascinating one, to me. This concept relates to this quote as well:

"Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides." — André Malraux

Anyway, I just have the feeling that if he were in an apathy phase, if someone said, directly to his face, "I hate you," he would respond, for once like an unintentional "pacifist," with something approximately like: "Ok. You're unworthy of my time and I have neither the will nor the patience to deal with you. Goodbye." (This would have to discount the possibility that the person with the utterance could mean something to him, so it couldn't be the Never students as we've seen that play out with Fala's pained moment.)

Potentially, the least weird non-critique I have of Rafal is that he's a stagnant character. And I don't mind it, but the inertia/general "unaliveness" in him is funny when I think about it.

He's not quite allergic to excitement because we saw a bit of his inner life and apathy, and then, in contrast, his appreciation of The Black Rabbit or the understanding(?) and stimulation it brought him, of Evil or Akgul's way of life.

And it's not that he's entirely flat without his Evil tendencies, even if a case could be made. (Counterpoint: Hook sensed something deeper, love, below the "villainous purpose" of Rafal's soul.) But, beyond that, I do think that without his ambition/Evil, he'd be relatively boring and potentially a lackadaisical shut-in? Again, I'm just reminded of his slow heart rate and the purpose Hook felt.

Question: Yet who is he without pawns as his victims and other sources of external conflict?

Potential answer: The Rafal who was or may've been content to simply not attend the Snow Ball at the start (under the assumption of there being no wager), if we were to speculate. (This is partly rhetorical, but I'm open to other takes.)

Because we see his power-hungry side, I'm tempted to say that when we replace that very hunger with control (a poor man's version of power), then we're left with more of a husk of a man, who's more likely to just want a quiet, stable, orderly, and most importantly, autonomous life—away from the School, in Gavaldon—despite the bit of ego he has, still insisting he's deserving of more, of power as well.

When we stop to think about it, his only two "hobbies" are brooding and torture... he's almost entirely defined by his post/role and can barely exist apart from it. He only holds out for six months alone, even if I suspect that with no impetus to return, he could've lasted out there in the world forever, that is, until he canonically seems to panic over his own mortality (and Rhian's) and decides to return posthaste.

Thus, the final question, parallel to the last, that remains is: who is he really when we strip away the worldly (self-imposed?) ambition?

[rebouks]

Having read/reread Somnium this past week/two-ish... I have some theories about Wyatt.

Every character we create has a bit of us, our experiences, and our biases. On that same note, I think every persona Wyatt has projected contained a bit of truth, but also a fair bit of fabrication. Of all the characters in Somnium, I think he had the worst childhood. It's really a miracle he's alive and not completely batshit crazy. And it's understandable why he learned to shut down emotions from a tiny age.

But Wyatt is AND isn't who we've seen. That nerdy, awkward doofus Courtney got to know, there a bit of truth there. But he exaggerated it for her. The absolute psycho that everyone shied away from... There's a bit of truth there, but I think also a fair amount of embellishment. If you're gonna be surrounded by homicidal thugs, then by all means, be the craziest one in the room. The one person that everyone is wary of. When he had his years alone in Mt. Komo (aka his purgatory), it was the first time his survival didn't depend on acting FOR someone else. He could just BE.

Wyatt says he isn't wired right and that he's emotionally faulty. But is he really as bad off as he thinks or is that what he's always been told? Obviously empathy is not his strong suit, but we've seen him: jealous/envious (others' relationships), selfless (letting Darien & Brynn go), appreciative (Oscar's help), petrified (to the point of throwing up), kind (to Ichiro, Mayo, and Brynn), and managed to (while sweating) mumble an ILY. All of which are normal emotions. He tried to make amends where he could. He adopted a cat ffs. A street cat that now has the poshest looking cat bed I've seen lol And the last time he choked someone was out of passion and (somewhat righteous) anger, not emotionless calculation.

I think who Wyatt was (and thought he was) is fading away, however damaged his past left him. I don't think he'll ever be a soft guy/touch to the world at large. Only a select few will be privy to that side if him. But I think his true nature is finally being revealed. Or am I reading him wrong? Enlighten me, Becca!

Ohhh you've read him remarkably well indeed! I truly love Wyatt's character, he's so complex and he really did have a nasty childhood.. on the surface I'm sure it looked like he had everything he ever wanted, but that's faaar from the truth.

I think he's only just realised that he's not actually a psychopath at all, he just kinda learnt how to be one as a coping mechanism when he was very young, so young that it almost seemed like reality in the end, even to other people! (There's a reason it seemed so genuine ⚆_⚆) I suppose in a way he lied to himself for so long it became reality. Ask Bruno.. he's still convinced he's a psycho! 😅

I rlly think smth shifted the moment he became suspicious of Oscar tho, and whilst at first he was intent on protecting the "family" and doing the "right" thing, the more he thought about it, the more he realised how done he was. No one listened to him, no one respected him, but he knew he was right! It was like he realised he'd never progressed from being a small child, pushed out of the way and ignored, even when they're begging to tell you something important! Arturo wasn't interested, so instead.. he had to pay. Wyatt didn't want to be loyal to him anymore! At the time, he didn't help Oscar n' co. just to do the right thing, he wanted to fuck his father over more than anything, so.. still pretty self-serving in a way but he's had a loooot of time to think since then and it's been so intriguing watching the slow shift in his mindset.

He's everything he's ever been, pretended to be and everything he never was, all bundled up into a ball that he buried deep inside; only when he was free did it all start to unravel.

I adore the examples of humanity you've picked up on tho, all those tiny hints we got that maybe he's not completely devoid of emotion after all... He's still Wyatt, but he's also Kaito too.. he's intelligent, he CAN be kind - to the right people, tho he definitely struggles with empathy - he's jealous, possessive, ambitious, confident, not confident at all 😆 he doesn't know, actually.. maybe we should check back in on him in a little while lmao

Hurray for the truly grey man!

Also.. I kinda started putting together a lil timeline of posts/moments that I thought were pivotal to his slow lil journey but this is long af as is so I'll work on that and post it separately 👀

[tabris-esque]

I am playing origins and contemplating da2 and uhhh maybe avoiding an inquisition playthrough a little and i STILL haven't finished my "canon" run of veilguard but. I am thinking about Rook!Evura again.

Her dynamic with Emmrich is a really easy one to conceptualize even with how complex it is because like. She is a woman whose whole life has been defined by death even before becoming a warden, and now that she's older she's watched multiple peers go off to die (including Alistair bc i'm a glutton for angst) and feels like she is just. Waiting for her turn. And then Emmrich has such a vastly different take on what it means to be dead because where Evura has never been afraid to die, she just wants it to be a surprise, he is afraid to die and finds comfort in the certainty surrounding death. So these two older people contending with death in their own ways can help each other redefine that relationship with death. And also something something finding love after losing a love you thought would last you until death, that's a big part of it.

But Emmrich is not the only one she has a fascinating vibe with! Because there's Davrin, and by now Evura has been the experienced warden for a whole host of grey wardens, seen so many Joinings and led so many people, and Davrin is by no means inexperienced - but he is still so young in her eyes. A youth that thinks death is a noble ending instead of a harsh cutoff, someone who (unlike her) appreciates seeing death coming. And yet when davrin survives killing an archdemon (something she tried to take on herself) the survivors guilt they bear has the same shape. Neither expected to make it out of that, both thinking they'd take the final blow - to Evura it would only be fair having cheated death once with her first archdemon and now with whatever it is keeping her around and unaffected by the taint/calling. Davrin is, of course, Davrin, and has seen himself only as a weapon for so long. In talking Davrin down from this Evura starts to see that she's walked into that mindset herself, believing that she was wrong to survive. She wants Davrin to see the world ahead of him as open with possibility, something worth living for, and it forces her to realise that she no longer sees it that way.

I have more thoughts about other companions but GAH this story was perfectly calibrated to be About Evura and no amount of "this is a new protagonist actually" will ever stop my brain from going "ok but what if -" because WHAT IF it was my warden ok. What if Evura has the worst life and the best friends in the world (between her multiple parties, to be clear. Nobody is ever beating Zevran in the bestie department) (which while I am on the subject. The dynamic with her and the crows especially lucanis gets its own post bc oooohhhhh boy.)

[stellaluna33]

How about that time when ASP bragged that Rory only had her first time when she was 19/20 or something, wasn’t it weird that she was so proud of that, especially when she “made” her have such a lousy first time, married man and all?

Why was Rory being a virgin until “late” that groundbreaking for ASP, I wonder?

If I’m not mistaken she was shading other teen shows that had their protagonists/leading ladies having their first times earlier, and idk once again it just looks like she digs shaming girls for having sex.

Personally, I used to love that Rory was still a virgin until college bc I could relate to her even more because of that, haha, I just got kinda disappointed that Amy seemed to see it as some sort of quality?

Sorry, English is not my first language so idk if I’m expressing myself very well, but yeah I’m curious to o know more opinions about this.

The way I understand it, Amy was under a lot of pressure from the network to make Rory "sexier." But why should a teenage girl character HAVE TO have sex to be a worthwhile or relatable character? She shouldn't! But that kind of mindset was what ASP was pushing back against, and maybe it's an unpopular opinion, but I actually really appreciated that. What you have to understand is that when I grew up watching teen media from the 80s and 90s (and going into the early 2000s), there was persistent messaging that still being a "virgin" by the time you graduated from highschool was kind of embarrassing. Losing your virginity was widely viewed as some sort of necessary "milestone" instead of a very personal and optional choice. (Especially for boys, but there was a lot of that for girls in TV and movies also) It wasn't until right around the turn of the millennium that I remember starting to see movies/shows that QUESTIONED that idea, that started asking well, WHY, though? When there started occasionally being characters who expressed that they shouldn't HAVE to have sex just to fit in. That it should be a PERSONAL choice. And like, I'm not a historical scholar- I haven't done a STUDY of whether this is accurate or not, but this is what it FELT LIKE to me as a teenager. And it FELT LIKE Rory was a really refreshing character for nerdy girls like me and my friends- that it was OKAY if you hadn't had sex yet. It was OKAY for a teenage girl to be focused more on academic or career aspirations rather than "losing her V-card," or that maybe she just doesn't feel ready yet, and it doesn't make her a "loser" or a "prude!" Like, that felt like SUCH a rare thing! ASP wanted to write a character like that, partly because it hadn't been done much, and she got a lot of pushback from the Network about it (which is kind of gross?). And I just... don't think that necessarily means that she was "slut shaming" anyone else.

I confess to being surprised when I started seeing people on here saying that Gilmore Girls had a "negative" view of sex. (This got long, sorry!)

Like, Lorelai has an active sex life with a variety of different partners over the course of the series, and that seems to be portrayed as normal and morally neutral. Sookie has an active and healthy sex life. When Rory is sleeping with Logan in college, the narrative seems to paint Richard and Emily (and the unfortunate Reverend they brought in) as ridiculous and controlling for objecting. Paris and Doyle have an active and enthusiastic sex life, and the narrative doesn't seem to judge them for it... I do admit that there does seem to be a pattern of unfortunate "first times" for the younger characters, but I wonder if that's more about Amy's addiction to "drama" than her views on sex. About Paris specifically, I always interpreted her paranoia about being "punished" for having sex as being commentary about how SOCIETY judges girls for having sex (because Reality for girls was a lot different from the pop culture fantasy norms). Gilmore Girls just wasn't interested in portraying some kind of "ideal world." They were just "putting these guys in Situations." And I mean... it's a show largely about generational trauma stemming from a teenage pregnancy! The characters are going to have some complicated and probably even unhealthy feelings about sex! And can I be honest for a minute? Much like attitudes towards our bodies, I'm honestly a proponent of what I'm going to call "sex neutrality." Because, yeah, sex is supposed to be fun and feel good and even be beautiful... And ideally it is! But sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's bad or painful or awkward or emotionally messy or damaging or degrading. Are we supposed to pretend that doesn't happen? Because it does. Are TV characters just not supposed to acknowledge that side of it? I don't know. I don't think Gilmore Girls is a perfect show. I don't agree with everything ASP thinks or everything the characters do. But I do think sometimes viewers want to see some kind of "message" where there just isn't one. Anyway, this is just my opinion, and I may be wrong about one or several things! 😆