#which just means i want to watch it when I'm in a mindset to appreciate it

[thatwitchrevan]

I did vote for Stede just for fun but honestly any character from Black Sails would kill him easily except for an absolute comedy of errors.

[11cupids-tarot11]

What has your future spouse been dreaming about lately?

For the divine feminine seeking the divine masculine •°. *࿐

1 -> 4

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Pile 1- The Chariot, Two of Swords, The Hanged Man

I'm getting the feeling your spouse really wants to make a move on you! He's dreaming about what it's like to be all in your space, he really wants to know what you're like. I was thinking at first that maybe he wants to spend time with you and know what it would be like to do mundane things with you like grocery shopping, but I think this guy is more curious than that. I think he wants to know just about you in general and what you like doing, he's the type to watch what you pick up and glance at during shopping just to get a feel of what you like. He wants to know your schedule, how your day went, he'll probably ask this a lot.

I feel like this person has a crush on you? He feels kinda stuck, like the hanged man lol. I'm not sure the circumstances or the dynamic of the relationship/how you'll come together but it surely feels like this person is very secretive with his thoughts of you, like he's very open telling me but he's scared to tell you? Like maybe this is someone you know of and you guys are friends and they're secretly crushing lol, that was very specific so it's okay if it doesn't resonate with everyone. This could also be a secret admirer for some.

But he's dreaming about changing something with you, planting roots and something stable. I'm not sure what the change will be, but I am seeing him thinking of different approaches to overcome whatever hardship is happening between you two, it could also be something on their end like maybe shadow work still needs to be done or they're still dealing with a karmic relationship of some sort.

It seems to me like they're sorting through everything, they might fantasize about things finally coming to an end and being able to start something with you. I know as soon as this is finished they're spreading towards you. I think they really just want you to know they're still coming? I got this rush feeling, like an adrenaline rush feeling? I think this person just wants you to know they're still clearing through some things! "Just hang in a little longer!" I'm hearing with a cute little smiley face ☺️. Your person is adorable! I think they love acts of service too!

I think if this were to be a 18+ reading they'd definitely tell you about all of the things they'd love to focus on your body and needs lol.

I have to make an 18+ version of this now 😂 stay tuned!

Don't forget to do the poll below! Talk again soon!!

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Pile 2- Six of Coins, Eight of Swords in reverse, The moon, Temperance, Ten of Cups.

Your person dreams about spoiling you, pampering you, taking you out on really fancy dates (plus showing you off 😵‍💫) just treating you like you are their everything. I hear it's because you are their everything! They adore you so much!

This person talks a lot too and wanted to pull extra cards when I usually only do a three card pull spread lol.

This card makes me feel like your person kinda feels like a spider stuck in it's own web right now, they're really in their head :( I getting your person has a negative mindset? For some of you it could be specific as they feel like they're not on the same level as you whatever that might mean to them. They dream about cutting out of their web, I think for the benefit of the connection really but also for their piece of mind, yk?

Maybe this person feels like they have to achieve a certain amount of wealth before they come to you, which goes hand in hand what I was saying about really wanting to spoil you lol they want to save up a bunch so they can have a great future with you and for those of you who want children they also want to build a family for you so of course they want to save for this too.

They dream about having a steady home with you, I think they like to fantasize about your future a lot lol. They say it won't be perfect but it'll be the definition of love like a real family should be lol. They want a balance with you, they're also the type to be very balanced in a relationship, they'll balance work and you at the same time. I honestly get the vibe that's why they're working so hard right now, so they can spend the rest of their time with you more!

I think this person dreams about the day you two unite! With the ten of cups I feel they dream about a happy home with you a lot, but also a happy relationship. I can guarantee this relationship will be very fulfilling and healing and loving. Their energy feels so excited to meet you if you guys haven't already, a healthy and loving relationship could be something they've always wished for so this is a wish fulfillment for them, they can't wait to experience real love with you. 🩵 The color blue might be specific for a few of you?

Don't forget to do the poll below! Talk to you soon love :))

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Pile 3- Knight of Coins, Justice (clarification cards- Death, and Strength), Two of Wands, Seven of Cups (clarification cards- Ten of Cups), and King of Swords (clarification cards- Knight of Wands)

I needed so much clarification for this group xD

Every time I look at the ducks eyes they always look so full of administration, anyone else see it? It's adorable. I channeled right away your person will adore you like this picture so I chose it!

I heard they think about this every day straight away lol.

Your future spouse fantasizes about putting hard work into you, really showing up for you I'm feeling. Like I feel like it's deeper than a materialistic matter, I feel like he really wants to support you emotionally. He doesn't want to be your therapist or anything it's like he just wants to make sure you're okay, he really cares about your well being. A better way to put this is that they really want to show up as a man in your life, one that doesn't have a toxic sense of masculinity and really respects women and wants to understand your needs, wants and boundaries I'm hearing. He likes to solve your problems because your problems are his problems.

He's dreaming about justice in a situation, I'm going to pull clarification cards for the Justice card to help understand a bit better because I want to know possibly in what situation, I can't figure that out on my own I'm not hearing much channeling on this card. The clarification cards just are making me feel it's probably a too personal situation they don't want me to know about, but maybe when you meet this person you will know because it's making me feel like it's linked to you, he probably doesn't want you to understand much either right now but he says he's working hard on getting justice in a situation he really wants to come to an end soon, I think when it's over it'll bring a lot of happiness, a shift in energy, a really big change :) He wants you to encourage him to be strong as he encourages you, it's a very tough situation maybe? Heavy energy kind of just came through me, like a little random rush of sadness just thinking about the question so I will move on now :)

This person fantasizes about making everything perfect a lot in a way, he really likes to plan. You'll notice this about them right away lol. They probably have a hectic schedule right now I'm hearing. They're possibly planning on how to get to you? This feels like a soulmate connection, something that's just supposed to happen because it just makes so much sense because you two love each other and really care for one another. This is someone who you can spend the rest of your life with because they're confident you two are a perfect match. Very equal in the relationship which is why it would work perfectly I'm hearing. He's just doing a bunch of planning right now, lots of thinking things over and through.

He dreams about probably having a lot of money, a level of fame? Maybe he's a celebrity or wants to be, he could be very creative and expensive. He dreams a lot very dreamy they could have water in their chart, they do feel emotional. They're so cute 😭

This person dreams about picking a path and advancing in it basically, they really want to be the boss, be at the top of their game whatever career or field it might be. They want a lot of abundance! They fantasize about being given an opportunity to present themselves, show off maybe. They could be a really good singer/rapper or some kind of performer. They could play an instrument.

I feel like they really want to settle down with you for sure though, they want to offer you a lot as well so they work really hard to show up financially, they could've grown up in poverty I'm hearing a specific message for some of you so being financially stable is everything for them. They want you right by their side ;)

This person was kinda hard to read but I think that's cause how dreamy they felt, thoughts kinda bouncing around everywhere haha, so take this how it resonates with you!

Don't forget to do the poll below!! Talk to you soon!

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Pile 4- Seven of Coins, The Magician (clarification cards- Three of wands), Seven of Wands (clarification cards- Death and Queen of Swords)

This person wants to start off with the seven of wands first even though it was the last card to be pulled lol.

They want to maybe draw attention to dreaming about fighting for something? They are very protective and will stand their ground and fight for what's theirs. I can't really tell, so I'm going to ask for clarification ;) I don't know why but I feel like they want to sabotage a relationship between you and someone else? I feel like they fantasize about this a lot! I feel like your energy is the Queen of wands but you don't really see this person! This could be a clue your future spouse is someone you already know!

They dream about making you theirs lol stealing you away. 😋

So with that, they're also dreaming about the future with you! Working on their finances as well, but also thinking about what it would be like in the future with you. This person feels like they're confident they will have a future with you lol. Maybe they're not making a move right now because they want to build up their finances more for the long run with you, because when they do make a move on you they plan to commit deeply and I'm hearing they fell hard for you, and you possibly don't even know it 😵‍💫.

😭 🩷 you probably drive this person crazy lmao

He's probably manifesting you lol?

I asked for clarification for the magician as well and it just makes me think he's really brainstorming a lot right now? I think every pile had a lot of thinking in them but never really being too specific on what and I'm always left with so much quietness so I'm left in the dark😭

They're just really thinking a lot which makes me think it's only about you. They seem shy, they could be younger than you? They seem like they're too scared to tell you how they really feel. Could be scared of rejection? But they really do fantasize about you a lot! They think about you constantly and different ways to impress you, how to get your attention. They really want you my pile 4's and they're fighting hard hehe. They won't back down either!

They think you're very pretty, like the bunny in the picture 😻. Hehe cute.

They might call you princess a lot, or other cute little pet names. They feel very affectionate, they have a lot of love to give! This person isn't someone to be scared of, they do care about you! It's not all about lust, there's love here as well as admiration! They do adore you!

Don't forget to do the poll below!! Talk again soon love!!

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[misctf]

Hey I've always been a pudgy and geeky type of guy and now at 50 I wish I had done things different. Could you change reality so I've always been a bear or daddy or age regress me so I'm a jock or himbo?

Are you sure you want this? I mean, I appreciate where you’re coming from. Really, I do. But are you sure? There’re risks and.... Okay I’ll spare you the details. You seem pretty set on this.

Cracks fingers.

Where to start... 50 years old, a tad pudgy, and I can tell that Star Wars shirt you’re wearing hasn’t been washed in a while. Not to worry!

Snaps fingers. The cold air now caressing your naked body.

Much better! Now I can see what I’m working with. Stay still please.

You feel my hands run along your pudgy, hairy gut. You wince as I give it a squeeze. You watch as I saunter behind you and yelp when I tug at the back hair that wraps up and around your shoulders. And as my hand runs along the thinning hair on your head, you gasp as a pressure emanates from within your brain.

Ah...Interesting... I can see it. Who you want to be... Okay, okay. This is gonna be tough, but just take a deep breath. And before I begin, you should know I set my clients up for success, which means... So... right... You’re full steam ahead. Sounds good!

You wince when I firmly grab your flabby chest and start massaging. A groan escapes your lips and you watch as the fat melts from your chest, leaving it flat. But with another squeeze, you watch as my hands begin to fill again. This time with your new muscle tit flesh. Bigger and bigger, until my hands can’t contain them. Firm and bounceable. Simultaneously, your skin heats up as your chest and back hair vanish, leaving you clean shaven. You watch as I give your nipples a squeeze and... the pleasure nearly knocks you off your feet. You moan as I pinch them between my fingers.

Like that? Yeah I can tell. I made them extra sensitive. Like so sensitive that the fabric of a shirt might make you cum. Oh don’t give me that look. Trust me, you’ll want to show off what I’m giving you. Okay... let’s...

My hands run along your abdomen and you feel like the wind is knocked out of you. The pudgy gut you sported before is starting to melt. Painful at first, but when you see the six pack you’re now sporting, you grin. But it’s short lived. You feel my hands firmly grip your ass. And this time, you moan as you feel your flabby ass firm up, filling with firm, bouncy fat and muscle. An ass that’ll always turn heads. And when I give your bubble butt a gentle slap, you moan loudly.

Yeah... what can I say? I want you to really enjoy your new body. Yeah... okay... I get you’re horny. Like hornier than you’ve ever been. But you’re turning out so well. We can’t stop now! Oh! Look at that! Your skin is starting to tan! See? We just need to get started and the rest follows. It’s like your body knows what its destined to become. But we’re missing something...

I run my hands up and down your arms, filling each of them with muscle. And then more. And then even more. They feel heavier to you. Bulging as if you’d just done curls for days. My hands don’t even come close to being able to wrap around them. And your shoulders... you’d never thought the whole ‘shoulders like boulders’ would ever apply to you. Now you’re a shining example.

Yeah, I know. Damn, dude. And I should ask... what’s your skin care routine? I jest, I jest. You’re 21, of course you have great skin! Haha you look so happy! Beats being 50, right? Oh! Before I forget...

You watch as I pull out a baseball cap and slap it on your head. Beneath it, you feel a burning sensation as your thinning hair grows in rapidly. And a few blond curls poke out from beneath your new hat.

So, what do you think? Of course, of course. I told you I’d help. And god, I gotta say you turned out hot. Now, I did tell you earlier that I set my clients up for success. And right now, you might have the body, but do you have the mindset? Okay, calm down... I did say there were risks, right? And I can’t let you ruin my work. Just stay still and...

You feel my hand on your head. And another around your growing cock.

Right... how does computer science fit into the new you? Or comic books? Okay, let’s get rid of that... and let’s move this here... and... Hey you good? You’re drooling all over yourself.

I give your cock a few tugs. A moan escapes your lips.

Phew! We’re still here. Right... okay let’s get rid of that... definitely get rid of this... Perfect! It’ll take a bit of space for all the knowledge to maintain this look. You’ll need most of your brain dedicated to workouts and diet. And since I doubt academics is your ticket to success, I might as well give you the knowledge to set up a successful OnlyFans account. Have any problems with that? I didn’t think so.  

I tug again on your cock, the pleasure somehow even more intense and your eyes roll back into your head.

Alright, but deep down you’re still that geeky guy. But with a body like this, it would be a waste not to have the right mindset for it. So, you get the idea? Shirtless, cocky, alpha douchebag. No more quiet geeky nerd. Yeah... look at that smirk. You’re getting it, now.

You flex in the mirror, the smirk never leaving your face. And then you turn back to me, gesturing toward your raging erection.

Well, what can I say. I.... Oh... Well, I mean if you insist. Might as well finish what I started. On my knees? Oh, okay... You want me to stop talking? Alright I.......

And as your cock meets the back of my throat and your moans fill the room, I couldn’t help but wonder if adding another douchey alpha bro to the world was worth it.

[lesbianphan]

I know this is gonna be mushy and overly emotional and I'm sorry for oversharing a bit, but I feel like it's necessary to put into words what rewatching We're All Doomed means to me personally. I watched the kiswe premiere event live and it was one of the most fun nights I've had in a while, even though my life felt extremely hopeless at the time.

And, look, here's the thing: when the WAD premiere dropped, I had completely given up on improving things. In fact, I was very much in the 'doomed' mentality. I had long accepted that there was no way my life would get better. So Dan's message really resonated with me: it's easy to settle for being at rock bottom and thinking that's all there is for me. I was happy to see Dan doing better, but deep down I didn't truly believe his words either, not really. I did want to, but I wasn't quite there. And I don't believe them all the time, as he himself said he doesn't, and doing the show many times hammers the point home into his head.

After experiencing it, I thought maybe, just maybe, I could stop only embracing the void, but start having the courage to exist as well. Putting myself out there more, trying to make a world for myself in which I'm not the :/ emoji all the time. So I applied for the jobs, I wrote what I wanted, I unapologetically embraced the nerdy things and the fandoms I enjoyed. I decided I can choose happiness in the smallest of ways, even when it sounds silly and unimportant. Because it isn't unimportant really if it means something to me.

Rewatching the show last night showed me how much it changed my life and the big leaps it helped me take in life. I have so much more to learn, but I keep telling myself to be brave (lmao sorry had to sneak the Phil reference) and have the courage to exist. Really truly exist out in the world, not hidden inside my room. And sure, some days are harder than the others, some days I really don't like myself at all. Even in those days, though, I tell myself: all I have to do is have the courage to exist.

I went in to watch WAD with no expectations, and I feel like the message of appreciating the little moments was so monumental, it truly absolutely had a huge impact in my own life. I have a job now, and some financial stability. To be honest, I never thought I'd get this job, I might not even have applied if I wasn't in this mindset. In so many ways, Dan and Phil have profoundly changed my life, and I think WAD is just one of those big examples.

I doubt the real humans Dan and Phil will ever understand the impact they've had on this world, but I'll forever wish them the best. I'll always support them, because their creations have irrevocably changed me as a person, and as much as I like joking around and stuff, I'm just thankful that we share this existence, and we get to have fun and be forever changed by it.

Thanks @danielhowell, you'll never know how huge the impact of this show was, but I am truly crying writing this and I hope one day I get to tell you in person how much you inspired me to keep going when no one else would.

[iris-sistibly]

I know I need to calm the fuck down first but one word to describe episode 6: STRESS!!

📍I love seeing Hyun-woo and Hae-in having a...sort of second honeymoon in Germany but I couldn't really enjoy every scene because I'm stressing out at how fucking OBLIVIOUS the Hong family is like bitch y'all are surrounded by snakes and they're so complacent 😭😭😭 I mean it's not really their fault that there are opportunists who'd earn their trust first then slither their way to bite them in the ass, but I just find it ironic at how protective they are at their family business and wealth but they can't see through the REAL people who has every intention to bring them down.

📍Speaking of which, I have read a fan theory somewhere that Mo Seul-hee is the mom of Eun-seong and Da-hye. Could be, OR Grace could be Da-hye's mom considering how Grace acted towards her. But why are they so keen at bringing the Hong family down?

📍Maybe it's just me but I don't think Da-hye is that bad, I have a feeling that she'll eventually come to her senses and take Hyun-woo's side and expose Eun-seong and co.

📍My overthinker/delulu self thinks that Soo-cheol and Da-hye's baby is actually Hyun-woo and Hae-in's kid. I mean, it wasn't shown how they lost their baby...yet. So Hae-in either miscarried, or she gave birth to a still born child? But what if the child is actually alive and one of those evil bitches cooked up some shit to make it seem like Hyun-woo and Hae-in's baby died, and then that baby was registered as Soo-cheol and Da-hye's kid? I know it sounds insane, but we're only on episode 6 so more crazy shit could happen in the future episodes, you'll never know. But my normal self says I've watched too many Filipino dramas growing up (and yes, that shit happens a lot in Filo-dramas).

📍Speaking of that kid, another theory is...what if that kid is actually Eun-seong and Da-hye's? Soo-cheol is a dumbass, and again, those bitches could have manipulated that baby's DNA test result or something. Again, that's just me being an overthinker, also I hate my Filo-drama mindset.

📍Aunt Beom-ja being so concerned about Hae-in and her dad but I also appreciate the fact that she respected her niece's request to not tell anyone about her illness. I also hope that she'll be able to help Hyun-woo clear his name and uncover Seul-hee and gang's dirty little secret.

📍BUT Y'ALL KNOW WHO STRESSED THE SHIT OUT OF ME THIS EPISODE? BAEK FUCKING HYUN-WOO!!! I am so freaking annoyed that he didn't tell Hae-in about the divorce when he had the chance. He was probably worried at how Hae-in would react plus the latter was going through medical treatments so he probably didn't want to put too much stress on her, but Hae-in was bound to find out either way so...yeah I do get why he chose to keep the divorce to himself but he could have just told the truth and suck it up, and perhaps they could communicate better when it comes to issues like this.

📍One thing I noticed about Hyun-woo is that he's brave in so many ways but also a coward on one thing. I mean he talks with Hae-in about nice things and all, and he is his wife's confidante, but I don't think I've ever heard him talk the way Hae-in does, meaning he never had the balls to talk to his wife about the..."unpleasant" side of their marriage. Hae-in was able to talk to him about her illness, the last will and testament that her mom pressured her to write, and Hyun-woo didn't even think about bringing up the divorce papers.

Prior to episode 5, I really thought that Hae-in was the one who shut him out but it was actually the other way around. Wifey may seem cold and nonchalant but if there's one person she'd listen to, it's him. Perhaps he doesn't want to say something that would upset Hae-in but the point is...she's his wife, she's supposed to know what he thinks, how he feels about certain things, even the not-so-pleasant side of their relationship. I really hope that in the next episode or the episode after that he'll be able to communicate better.

📍Hae-in's mom is terrible af. Imagine blaming your own daughter for the death of your son. I mean she didn't deserve to lose a child, but it's unfair to put all the blame on Hae-in (like why?). It's not like she endangered herself on purpose, and she had the audacity to be upset when Hae-in did something nice to her in-laws? Like what is wrong with this woman? Why can't see realize her own mistakes?

📍I kind of teared up when Hae-in was telling Hyun-woo about the things the latter should do when she dies. She could die, and this show might give us a bittersweet ending but when that time comes I'd be really, really hurt. Also, Hae-in confessing that the only reason she wrote her will about Hyun-woo not getting anything should they divorce was so that she'll be allowed to marry him 😭 (just shows she fought hard for him and she'll do absolutely anything to be with him). God I hate her mom! And yes the epilogue was so cute, now we know that they have always been in-love with each other. But I guess...they need a time-out 🤷.

📍Hae-in called Hyun-woo "yeobo" 🥹🥹🥹

[caputvulpinum]

Hey, this is a weird and heavy question that could land you in hot water no matter which direction you answer in, so feel free to just ignore me, it's not imperative that you answer or anything. But I don't have a lot of kink-positive (or frankly sex-positive) people that I trust and you seem to have put a lot of time and work into that kind of stuff (or maybe it just comes naturally to you! Regardless, I value your opinion).

I don't know how to make my peace with age regression as a kink, or if I even need to. I've done a lot of unlearning when it comes to a sanitized, puritanical mindset that I was raised with. My general opinion now is "if no one's in danger of getting hurt just leave it be". But I can't help but see people who participate in age regression as a huge red flag- depending on their role in the situation. If I'm friends with someone and they tell me they have a "little" persona or whatever sure that makes me internally cringe but mostly I just feel bad for them because they almost always have trauma. (Baby talk makes me wanna barf but maybe that's a me problem). But when I learn that someone is into people who essentially act like a child or a baby in the bedroom, I'm gonna run for the fucking hills. That just seems like a giant red flag to me- if someone is able to get into a mindset where they can be sexual with someone who's acting like a child, I have a hard time feeling okay around that person.

I know you're no professional, and I'm not here to get validation. Like I said, I just value your insight and I'm wondering if you can introduce me to a new way of thinking about this. Am I wrong to write off someone for a sexual preference as long as it's technically between two consenting adults? Should I be challenging my thinking?

If you do take the time to answer this, know that I appreciate you so much. If you can't answer, I hope you have a good day anyways.

I feel as though relatively often there is confusion when it comes to the idea of kink positivity with regards to this sort of context. It can seem confusing or even impossible, because there are those who act as though being kink positive is the same thing as being personally anything-goes, fetishwise. It's just a matter of vocabulary--we hear "kink positive" and logically assume "we need to feel positive about this kink", right?

Except that's really not the case, no more than landback as a movement demands for creating native american ethnostates by "giving all the private property of america back". The reality is always a bit more complex.

For your specific example of age regression as a kink, it's a pretty common sentiment to just not like it and not want to engage with it. I feel that way--it isn't a matter of value or moral, it's just something that on a personal level I don't like and want nothing to do with.

But the key part of kink positivity is that I need to recognize that I can not be into something without making it a moral judgement on those who are. As you say: If the people involved are all consenting adults, it isn't my place to pass judgement or tell them how to live their lives so long as no one is getting hurt. I need to trust that as adults, they are capable of handling their own sex lives without my intervention. It is not my place to butt in and tell people that because I find their kinks gross that they need to watch out for red flags, any more than it would be anyone else's place to do the same to you.

Anon, you seem to be sort of trapped halfway. You are capable of understanding what kink positivity is supposed to be, but you're not--and forgive me if I'm wrong--really willing to seriously examine what "supposed to be" means when your personal tastes are being challenged. You're saying you're not asking me for validation, but you are asking verbatim "Am I wrong to write off someone for sexual preference as long as it's between two consentint adults?".

I don't really feel like I need to clarify the answer on that, Anon. I'll just point out that you should imagine how you would feel if someone wrote you off morally for one of your sexual preferences when it takes place between yourself and other consenting adults, and whether or not you feel the justifications you'd make against that person could be meaningfully different than the ones someone who participates in age regressions would make to you.

At the end of the day, framing it internally as "It seems like a red flag" is just a way to frame your reaction as morally superior. It is a way of saying "I'm not judging this badly because I don't personally enjoy it, I'm trying to help people. Them doing this is dangerous and I need to be involved and even be against them doing this for their own good". It is the same pearl-clutching Puritan thinking as any fundamentalist Christian would, and it leads to the same thing: Telling full-grown adults that how they have sex between themselves is fundamentally wrong and that your dislike at the very idea of them partaking in it takes priority over their ability to partake in it at all.

I'd suggest asking yourself whether or not you feel as though you'd be respected if someone approached you and told you that, yes, they understand that you're a fully grown adult consenting to sex in this manner, but they don't trust your ability to consent because it seems to them as though there's red flags involved and therefore they DO have a right to get involved in your sex life. For your own good, of course. It isn't your fault that you're into something bad like this. You're traumatized. It's just that people who want to have sex with you are actually taking advantage of you and hurting you, and you just don't know it because you're traumatized, so it's up to other people to tell you how you should and shouldn't have sex and who you shouldn't have sex with.

[rebouks]

Having read/reread Somnium this past week/two-ish... I have some theories about Wyatt.

Every character we create has a bit of us, our experiences, and our biases. On that same note, I think every persona Wyatt has projected contained a bit of truth, but also a fair bit of fabrication. Of all the characters in Somnium, I think he had the worst childhood. It's really a miracle he's alive and not completely batshit crazy. And it's understandable why he learned to shut down emotions from a tiny age.

But Wyatt is AND isn't who we've seen. That nerdy, awkward doofus Courtney got to know, there a bit of truth there. But he exaggerated it for her. The absolute psycho that everyone shied away from... There's a bit of truth there, but I think also a fair amount of embellishment. If you're gonna be surrounded by homicidal thugs, then by all means, be the craziest one in the room. The one person that everyone is wary of. When he had his years alone in Mt. Komo (aka his purgatory), it was the first time his survival didn't depend on acting FOR someone else. He could just BE.

Wyatt says he isn't wired right and that he's emotionally faulty. But is he really as bad off as he thinks or is that what he's always been told? Obviously empathy is not his strong suit, but we've seen him: jealous/envious (others' relationships), selfless (letting Darien & Brynn go), appreciative (Oscar's help), petrified (to the point of throwing up), kind (to Ichiro, Mayo, and Brynn), and managed to (while sweating) mumble an ILY. All of which are normal emotions. He tried to make amends where he could. He adopted a cat ffs. A street cat that now has the poshest looking cat bed I've seen lol And the last time he choked someone was out of passion and (somewhat righteous) anger, not emotionless calculation.

I think who Wyatt was (and thought he was) is fading away, however damaged his past left him. I don't think he'll ever be a soft guy/touch to the world at large. Only a select few will be privy to that side if him. But I think his true nature is finally being revealed. Or am I reading him wrong? Enlighten me, Becca!

Ohhh you've read him remarkably well indeed! I truly love Wyatt's character, he's so complex and he really did have a nasty childhood.. on the surface I'm sure it looked like he had everything he ever wanted, but that's faaar from the truth.

I think he's only just realised that he's not actually a psychopath at all, he just kinda learnt how to be one as a coping mechanism when he was very young, so young that it almost seemed like reality in the end, even to other people! (There's a reason it seemed so genuine ⚆_⚆) I suppose in a way he lied to himself for so long it became reality. Ask Bruno.. he's still convinced he's a psycho! 😅

I rlly think smth shifted the moment he became suspicious of Oscar tho, and whilst at first he was intent on protecting the "family" and doing the "right" thing, the more he thought about it, the more he realised how done he was. No one listened to him, no one respected him, but he knew he was right! It was like he realised he'd never progressed from being a small child, pushed out of the way and ignored, even when they're begging to tell you something important! Arturo wasn't interested, so instead.. he had to pay. Wyatt didn't want to be loyal to him anymore! At the time, he didn't help Oscar n' co. just to do the right thing, he wanted to fuck his father over more than anything, so.. still pretty self-serving in a way but he's had a loooot of time to think since then and it's been so intriguing watching the slow shift in his mindset.

He's everything he's ever been, pretended to be and everything he never was, all bundled up into a ball that he buried deep inside; only when he was free did it all start to unravel.

I adore the examples of humanity you've picked up on tho, all those tiny hints we got that maybe he's not completely devoid of emotion after all... He's still Wyatt, but he's also Kaito too.. he's intelligent, he CAN be kind - to the right people, tho he definitely struggles with empathy - he's jealous, possessive, ambitious, confident, not confident at all 😆 he doesn't know, actually.. maybe we should check back in on him in a little while lmao

Hurray for the truly grey man!

Also.. I kinda started putting together a lil timeline of posts/moments that I thought were pivotal to his slow lil journey but this is long af as is so I'll work on that and post it separately 👀

[stellaluna33]

How about that time when ASP bragged that Rory only had her first time when she was 19/20 or something, wasn’t it weird that she was so proud of that, especially when she “made” her have such a lousy first time, married man and all?

Why was Rory being a virgin until “late” that groundbreaking for ASP, I wonder?

If I’m not mistaken she was shading other teen shows that had their protagonists/leading ladies having their first times earlier, and idk once again it just looks like she digs shaming girls for having sex.

Personally, I used to love that Rory was still a virgin until college bc I could relate to her even more because of that, haha, I just got kinda disappointed that Amy seemed to see it as some sort of quality?

Sorry, English is not my first language so idk if I’m expressing myself very well, but yeah I’m curious to o know more opinions about this.

The way I understand it, Amy was under a lot of pressure from the network to make Rory "sexier." But why should a teenage girl character HAVE TO have sex to be a worthwhile or relatable character? She shouldn't! But that kind of mindset was what ASP was pushing back against, and maybe it's an unpopular opinion, but I actually really appreciated that. What you have to understand is that when I grew up watching teen media from the 80s and 90s (and going into the early 2000s), there was persistent messaging that still being a "virgin" by the time you graduated from highschool was kind of embarrassing. Losing your virginity was widely viewed as some sort of necessary "milestone" instead of a very personal and optional choice. (Especially for boys, but there was a lot of that for girls in TV and movies also) It wasn't until right around the turn of the millennium that I remember starting to see movies/shows that QUESTIONED that idea, that started asking well, WHY, though? When there started occasionally being characters who expressed that they shouldn't HAVE to have sex just to fit in. That it should be a PERSONAL choice. And like, I'm not a historical scholar- I haven't done a STUDY of whether this is accurate or not, but this is what it FELT LIKE to me as a teenager. And it FELT LIKE Rory was a really refreshing character for nerdy girls like me and my friends- that it was OKAY if you hadn't had sex yet. It was OKAY for a teenage girl to be focused more on academic or career aspirations rather than "losing her V-card," or that maybe she just doesn't feel ready yet, and it doesn't make her a "loser" or a "prude!" Like, that felt like SUCH a rare thing! ASP wanted to write a character like that, partly because it hadn't been done much, and she got a lot of pushback from the Network about it (which is kind of gross?). And I just... don't think that necessarily means that she was "slut shaming" anyone else.

I confess to being surprised when I started seeing people on here saying that Gilmore Girls had a "negative" view of sex. (This got long, sorry!)

Like, Lorelai has an active sex life with a variety of different partners over the course of the series, and that seems to be portrayed as normal and morally neutral. Sookie has an active and healthy sex life. When Rory is sleeping with Logan in college, the narrative seems to paint Richard and Emily (and the unfortunate Reverend they brought in) as ridiculous and controlling for objecting. Paris and Doyle have an active and enthusiastic sex life, and the narrative doesn't seem to judge them for it... I do admit that there does seem to be a pattern of unfortunate "first times" for the younger characters, but I wonder if that's more about Amy's addiction to "drama" than her views on sex. About Paris specifically, I always interpreted her paranoia about being "punished" for having sex as being commentary about how SOCIETY judges girls for having sex (because Reality for girls was a lot different from the pop culture fantasy norms). Gilmore Girls just wasn't interested in portraying some kind of "ideal world." They were just "putting these guys in Situations." And I mean... it's a show largely about generational trauma stemming from a teenage pregnancy! The characters are going to have some complicated and probably even unhealthy feelings about sex! And can I be honest for a minute? Much like attitudes towards our bodies, I'm honestly a proponent of what I'm going to call "sex neutrality." Because, yeah, sex is supposed to be fun and feel good and even be beautiful... And ideally it is! But sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's bad or painful or awkward or emotionally messy or damaging or degrading. Are we supposed to pretend that doesn't happen? Because it does. Are TV characters just not supposed to acknowledge that side of it? I don't know. I don't think Gilmore Girls is a perfect show. I don't agree with everything ASP thinks or everything the characters do. But I do think sometimes viewers want to see some kind of "message" where there just isn't one. Anyway, this is just my opinion, and I may be wrong about one or several things! 😆

[adamworu]

hii i just wanted to say thank you for the years uve been posting eva and hyper-analyzing the series and kaworu especially .. i found ur blog after watching the series back when the Kaworu Database consisted mostly of soundboards and shit like that and despite my waning interest in the series ive not had the impulse to unfollow u. which is weird for me, because at the ripe age of 26 there’s a lot about nge that doesnt sit right with me anymore.

i got my boyfriend to watch NGE and the rebuilds with me and found myself genuinely ashamed way more than i’d anticipated. the last movie was the nail in the coffin for me specifically because of, let’s face it, the surplus of self-aware asuka fanservice. i was repulsed and denounced my interest in the series entirely. it was difficult to make such a claim because of how important to me the series was (still is, if im being honest) and how pivotal it was to my growth at the time i first watched it.

saw one of your posts on my dash today and went to take a casual look at your blog cuz i was curious as to how you were faring in the sea of eva content after a solid 10 years. looked at one of your posts explaining what nge is at its core and the messages it means to send and How it sends them and found myself falling back into the mindset of “fuck, i missed this shit.”

i appreciate how many years you’ve spent looking at evangelion as a piece of psychological horror, how many years you’ve spent dissecting it under a microscope with 50000x magnification. you’ve been the Only thing that’s brought eva back to the front of my feeble little brain over the past, idk five years or so, and youve now been the reason why i can still appreciate the series despite its flaws. you don’t focus on those flaws and it reads that you do so not because you don’t care, but because they’re obvious and don’t need to be stated. im starting to ramble and im sorry that this ask was long but dming you felt too.. personal despite this message being exactly that.

TL;DR, thank you for analyzing evangelion and kaworu nagisa for many years and singlehandedly reminding me of all the reasons why i enjoyed the series as much as i did when i first watched it. i know your interest in eva is waning, so thank you for what youve given the world over the last 10 years <3

Thank you ever so much! This blog sort of started as a way for me to navigate Eva myself. It's been 10 years and though my passion has fizzled, I still get those visceral feelings of Eva no matter what. It always pulls me in. I still have some of that juice left in me, but mostly I found other source material at the moment I'm highkey obsessed over (I'll give you a hint: cult classic, starts with V, ends with D). It's not all bad. I hope you have a wonderful day :)

[cozage]

If we're getting another chapter for made for two can we know the real reason why Zoro decided to end the relationship? I feel like there's something more than him getting annoyed at us like cheating or jealousy or whatever

Hello dear reader!

I'm so glad you're enjoying the fic and are super invested in it all! I actually did consider having Zoro do something awful like cheat on you or something, but (even for the sake of moving the story forward) I don't think he'd do that. Let me explain more below the cut (and show you why it's still just as tragic)

TL;DR: Zoro and the reader do love each other, but show it in very different ways, and they were doomed from the start because of it.

I think Zoro does care about and loves the reader in his own way, but Zoro doesn't show it in the same way other people on the crew do, especially you. Just because he cares about you doesn't mean he's going to alter his day to be with you more often, and in his mind, training (so he can protect you and the other people he cares about on the crew) is the most important thing. He's selfish, and he doesn't care about large romantic gestures. He doesn't remember important events like birthdays or anniversaries or even what day it is in general.

He's the kind of person who likes you around when he needs you around - which we see at the beginning of the story when he's playful in bed. But after his morning shower, his mindset shifts to training, and he doesn't need you around anymore because you'll just distract him. He's not the kind to spare feelings or tell you unnecessary words of affirmation. He gets to the point because that's what he understands, especially when he's upset.

And then we have the reader, who is someone that loves quality time, and wants to spend time together with not just Zoro but everyone on the ship. They love loudly and they want to be loved the same, which is something that Zoro has never had the capacity to understand or appreciate. This has resulted in months of arguments; most days looking like the one I had written.

The day written wasn't any different than most island days, expect for the date. The island you all landed on marked 6 months of you all dating, and Zoro never commented on it, he didn't want to be around you, he broke his promise and his compromise made with you, and he purposely avoided the one thing you guys do on a normal day (watching the sunset). He was angry with you and purposely avoided it all out of spite. He was itching for a screaming match because normally those types of fights end with you begging for forgiveness and you tiptoeing around him for the next few days because you don't want to lose him, and thats what he expected. But today was the day you gave up fighting, because of how hurt you were over the 6 months being forgotten by him. It was the straw that broke the camels back.

Sometimes people love each other deeply, but they simply aren't compatible. Such is the case with the reader and Zoro (which we can see from your POV and Zoro's argument with Sanji). That doesn't nullify the love that still remains between you two, in fact it makes it all the more painful. It's the reason I added a very small line into Dance for Two, actually.

"You wanted to run away, restart the day, or just go back to when you and Zoro first broke up and beg for his forgiveness."

It's a line that most people probably miss or doesn't mean anything to them. But the reader is used to this to portray just how messy their relationship is with Zoro. They're used to screaming and fighting, just to make up the next. This is the way their relationship has always been, so it must be normal.

You know how you're in a dimly lit room and you can almost see everything then a bright light blinds you? But when your eyes adjust, you realize you've been missing out on so many details and colors while you were sitting in the dark. It's a whole new world now, something you didn't know was possible.

I imagine Sanji is that light for the reader, and now that you've learned that there are people who will sacrifice for you rather than give you an occasional compromise, it's impossible to go back to the way it was before.

I must admit, I know this is not as enthralling as catching him cheating or having some other big thing happen that is earth-shattering for the reader. I don't think Zoro is a bad person, after all. He's just bad for you.

[the-tarot-witch22]

Okay so I am back again Hehe! (Evil laugh lmao) I absolutely love your games and the fact idk why I was feeling this eagerness to create a moodboard about your relationship I even don't know why?? At first i thought about sending it but because i ain't a tarot reader i felt like it's not good. But now I got the chance so I'm sending in two moodboards. Keep them as a gift from you, you really appreciate me and supported me with my non tarot exachanges which means so much to me!! Love youuuu 🫶🏻🤍🫂

Okay so note; The post might be long. Sorry for that in advance. 😭

Moodboard of your higher self;

I believe your higher-self is someone who's very feminine, motherly and kind. Like she has this bubbly side to her as well but she's mature and a homemaker too. She knows her worth, is confident within herself, her body and most of the above her soul, she doesn't hold onto the past she, doesn't have unhealthy attachments, heals, spiritually awakened and intune with her spiritual and feminine side. She is a giver but a receiver too, just like sunshine she's hopeful and shines bright, maybe your smile is very Beautiful or when you smile it radiates sunshine, sparkly, and glowing. She knows what she wants, nature is her place. She reminds of the water, river flowing in the garden, in the woods, calm and collected, flowing. Helping others but knows her boundaries too, faithful. Carefree, high spirited, light femine energy tbh, takes care of herself, love love, knows how to stand up for herself and Knows when to walk away. Also something about hait was coming so maybe you have brown and beautiful hair or she does. She also seems domaint and bold, like doesn't let anyone walk over her, is at peace with what happened focuses on her future and know what she wants in relationships, approach things in a more healthy way, takes care of herself, doesn't dwell on past. Healthy mindset and colourful something is colourful about her. I also feel physically too she might be more caring like good clothes, takes cares of herself, and also like maybe you'll physically be more attractive?! Like something about appreance or how you present yourself from bow is different. Positive and pure hearted. Ofcourse you already are sweetheart 🫶🏻🤍

Moodboard of your and your fs;

Okay first of all I do have said this many times I'll say that again, your fs seems very masculine and domaint. Like someone who knows what he's doing, big boy energy, mature, knows how to handle things, uhm uhm, but at the same time i think he's soft and caring, like maybe physical touch is his love language, I do feel you are more clingy one in the relationship and he's not clingy but he has his way to show that you are his, his touches could be very common for you and make you feel things, dresses well, most likely pants and shirts, watches, Acts of service could be his love language too, like helping you with your clothes (yes clothes specially like tying the knot something like that), forehead kisses, physical attraction is there too, manly aura, good hands, you to give off vibes of like a masculine x feminine, you are soft, kind and sweet he seems a bit cold, bold and confident. Your relationship seems very traditional maybe you two are from same culture or religion but at the same time you two are exactly that traditional you two are open minded. Staring at you while you aren't watching, domaint one in the relationship, whole you are the one who surrenders but you no less than him you are also domaint in your own way, talkative (you) while he loves listening to you, your relationship is passionate and loving not too much pda in public bit still shows everyone you two are in love. Perfect for each other, he might find you cute or your mannerism, you both seem jealous type, but different way of jealous. He's like the bread winner and you are the homemaker but in a postive and healthy way. There is a good balance between you two, he might not be too expressive about himself or very private and maybe you'll help him with that. Eldest son energy tbh, grumpy vibes, b/w yes again the colour black popped up again. 😭

Hopefully something resonates also please takes this with grain of salt as i ain't a tarot reader so this is non tarot exachange.

I'm Jasmine, a Capricorn sun, Virgo moon and Taurus rising. Dob; 18th January. Love travelling and exploring things.

Thankyou so much for everything sweetheart, hope you have an amazing day ahead. Lots of love to you 🫶🏻🤍✨🧿

Be more confident my love the reading was so so beautiful and on top of that two moodboard!? and messages??? I am in love!!! the reading resonates, the message from future self? wow, i can see my higher self like that she just sounds so amazing, and someone i can look upto, i am so glad she is a reciever too, i am glad she knows her worth, the fact i am literally trying to be more calm and collected and i got it in this reading makes me happy, and not dwelling on past i am learning right now i am glad my future self is bad ass, she sounds so sweet, thank you so much for this detailed message it just made me emotional in a good way, i love you sm!

the future spouse one- I HAVE ONE WORD WOW! and it resonates so much, girl you are so amazing and talented!!! he is dominant i always got that, plus i am so clingy and you picked up on that!? so fucking amazing i can imagine myself being clung on to him lmao some reader said same religion some said different religion, so many instances haha, i am gonna *cough cough cough* lmao okay you got the idea *wink*

I loved the moodboard , reading, and it resonated thank you so mich for doing this for me!

I will start with your reading!

Okay so the cards I got for you (6 of cups, the star, king of pentacles, the hierophant, the high priestess and the lovers)

The first thing I feel and hear is you are more than happy, content and healed, you are so in love with yourself and person you are with, you will earn so much, you will transform your life completely, i am seeing lots of spiritual and life changing developments, I heard "go for it" for idk what but i think your higher self wants to comfort you and tell you to not doubt your abilities. Your higher self has met lifelong friends, the people she never wants to lose or let go of, I also feel you having the luxuries to yourself, you might also inherited or gotten money from your hard work, you being like fuck it and more into divine era, your spiritual era, not caring what other people think of you and your choices, I also feel you have met your lover, or soulmate, the person you have shared past life connection with, i feel you will feel very nostalgic your higher self is much more sombre like they miss old things too or things they have left behind but not being obsessing over it but with more like they taught you so you are grateful for it type of thing, I also feel pink, green (pastel) or dark shades have importance in your life, your higher self is very much healed and secure in herself, i heard body positivity and felt you standing in front of mirror and admiring it, like you will love what you see, your higherself has forgiven herself and others who did her wrong, you might have already have too, but your higher self is much much more mature, and just herself, you have grown a lot in your life in such a short period of time, you have also become rich or have enough money, or being more successful, luxury i saw lots of that, comfy bed so random, the clouds that are so dark right now will be clear, i heard let go, you are not alone, you are so so strong and brave, your higher self has found herself a good job or business for herself, like she has enough of it i feel you will be in a higher position in your office or work, I also feel your intuition will play a very big role, you trusting it more, your higherself has some mysteries or secrets that i cant know yet, or just something she wants to keep hidden from me, might be something personal to you, but that thing is also have success, i also feel you higher self took a higher education somewhere you love, again "i heard thank you for meeting me baby" it might be your soulmate, you found him.

That's all love, thank you please give feedback <3

[taegularities]

i love love love jk. but i hate that he criticizes his body too much. he's constantly talking about eating 1 meal a day or not eating for a week and just drinking water (which he did during butter mv i think) i mean it's so unhealthy. intermittent fasting is okay! i do it too. im not overweight but i am curvy, built like a door, have a double chin and cheeks. i have cellulite, a little belly fat and stretchmarks. seeing jungkoom constantly touching and poking his cheeks and being like "aah ive gained weight gotta loose it". makes me feel so insecure. i saw myself not eating for 2 days straight when he said he felt like he gained weight, i felt so bad and guilty when i looked in the mirror. it makes me feel like jungkook has major body dysphoria, and it's just not healthy. what's even worse is that he talks about it publicly, knowing very well people out there are dying to have a body like him.

i get it, in south korea it's this whole thing to be very fit and skinny. i mean yes it's a great country for not having too many issues with obesity. but it also makes me so sad thinking that most of the population is so judgy about themselves and other people. correct me if I'm wrong or of im being too emotional or delusional, i feel like he probably doesn't like people who seem overweight? or are chubby? it's been a pattern with jimin as well. it's just so concerning. it's concerning for the members ofc but also the fans :(

sorry for the rant ...

hey love. gosh, i'm so sorry that all that talk from the boys made you feel that way :( and i totally understand. i can't say what jk likes about others or not, but he does seem to think about his own weight a lot. i noticed that much about all members, really, the constant touching their faces and comments such as, "my face looks so swollen today" and it sucks that they perceive themselves in such a way when i'd die to be that pretty lol!! but you know.. knowing jk, i'm sure he doesn't do it to make anyone feel bad – the kpop industry has always been pretty strict with their idols' appearance, so i think the boys have gotten used to not eating too much during promotions or being pushed to look skinny and healthy. maybe it has kind of become their mindset atp?

sometimes i watch their stuff and see them appreciate food so much – as if they didn't get enough of it back then, which is sadly true (and was even mentioned in the book, right?) :( i think it's gotten a lot better tho!! like, i think most of the members, like yoongi or tae don't care much about that anymore and just do whatever they want. i hope jk is able to see his beauty for what it is at some point, too.. because man is truly gorgeous and deserves to feel good in his body, as do we all. you do, too <3

[sodiumlamp]

Picard

I just did the math, and Star Trek: Picard is approximately 22.5 fucking grueling hours, so that made me kind of sad.

This episode tries. It doesn't quite succeed, but I see the effort and I appreciate it. I'd like to believe that this marks a turning of the corner, and the rest of this season will get better, but it's too late to redeem this series, which currently stands as one of the all-time worst shows I've ever seen.

With a lot of bad media, I will often see apologists offering up defenses like "It had some good ideas, but they were poorly executed." And I have watched TV shows where that simply isn't true. The ideas were bad and the execution was bad, so it was bad all around. Picard, on the other hand, actually does have some pretty great ideas. There's a lot of stuff that would totally work if only it were being done anywhere else but here. And that's actually more tragic, because Star Trek Picard is like this graveyard where good ideas go to die. And of course, they're buried alongside a ton of bad ideas, which the show also has.

All right, so in this episode, they're stuck in the gravity well of a nebula that isn't actually a nebula, and they've only got four hours left to live. The gang have hit rock bottom, but they slowly start to dig their way out, which is kind of uplifting to see. Riker admits to Picard that he was right about not wanting to fight the Shrike. Picard spends some QT with his new son Jack Crusher. Seven and Captain Shaw have to work together to flush out the Changeling saboteur. Beverly figures out that the nebula is actually some sort of alien womb, because it's sending out energy pulses at regular intervals, comparable to a human experiencing contractions during childbirth.

I mean, that last part is pretty ridiculous, but I'll allow it, because it's on-brand for Star Trek. Still... I'm beginning to wonder if anyone in Starfleet has ever seen an actual nebula before. It just seems like this thing turned out to be very different from a nebula, which makes me wonder why anyone thought it was a nebula in the first place.

Anyway, they finally come up with a plan to use the energy pulses from the space-womb to carry the ship back out before they all die. It mostly relies on this weird premise that's also on-brand for Star Trek: that all starships can magically be drained of their power, or absorb power like a sponge. In this case, Bev can predict the next wave, so once they're prepared they can just time it right and use the power of the wave to re-energize the ship. When they escape, they're treated to a swarm of alien squid creatures born from the "nebula".

So what's the problem? Well, two main issues here. First, even though there's a happy ending to this crisis, this episode gets really fucking dark. The crew morale is in the toilet. Riker confesses that he's in a profound depression from the death of his son, so he left his family to get back into space just to try and feel something. He tries recording a message for his family when he thinks they're all going to die, and when the others come to him with their escape plan, he's so despondent that he thinks it would be better to wait for a rescue, because at least that way the ship might still be intact and they could leave something behind. I don't know what the hell happened between Season 1 and this, but that's a pretty dark mindset he's in.

We also learn that Jack approached Picard years ago, without telling him who he was, and asked Picard if he ever considered having a family, and Picard replies that Starfleet was the only family he ever needed, which would have been an innocuous comment except he was saying it to his son without even realizing it, so that's really grim. Also, Jack has some spooky hallucinations near the end of the episode. I guess he really is his father's son, since Picard had the prophetic dreams in Season 1 and the Silent Hill jumpscare flashbacks in Season 2.

Oh, and there's a lot of body bags in this thing. It's kind of tough to appreciate the Titan surviving this mess when you see so many crewmen who definitely did not survive it.

Oh, and Captain Shaw is high on painkillers and he finally opens up about why he's such a giant douche: Turns out he was at Wolf 359, and he and 50 of his closest friends had to figure out which ten of them got to use the only functioning escape pod. Did anyone actually die at Wolf 359? The way I remember it, there were a lot of broken hulls and the Enterprise scanned for life signs and found none. But Sikso got out and Shaw got out. Shaw describes himself as a "dipshit from Chicago," and I gotta admit, ripping off Ben Sisko's origin story is a pretty dipshit move. I'm voluntarily subjecting myself to Star Trek: Picard, so I can't judge.

Oh, right, there were two issues with this episode, but there was so much dark stuff in this one that I got sidetracked.

The other issue is that they just sort of blew off the original problem that got them in trouble in the first place: The Shrike. On their way out of the "nebula" they almost run right into it, but Riker uses the tractor beam to snag an asteroid and fling it into the Shrike before it can attack. It's kind of cool that he got his groove back and managed to one-shot this enemy that had seemed unstoppable a few hours earlier, but it also undermines all the buildup we had with the Shrike in the previous two episodes.

The Shrike's captain looks like she's auditioning for the role of Oswald Cobblepot. She acts like a maniac, and her ship is supposed to be loaded with incredibly powerful weapons. When Titan falls into the gravity well of the "nebula" she cuts off her own hand, which then turns into a floating head and it orders her to pursue the Titan and recover Jack Crusher at all costs, and she reluctantly obeys. The Shrike sucks and she sucks as a villain, and Episodes 2 and 3 sucked, but I assumed they were going somewhere with all of this. Instead, Riker throws a rock at them and that seems to solve everything.

I mean, they didn't destroy the Shrike, so maybe it comes back to menace Picard later, but we spent three episodes on it and I'm not impressed at all. I'm certainly not looking forward to a rematch.

Worf isn't in this one, which is pretty disappointing, but it allowed the episode to focus on the A-plot, which was a good thing. Also we get a day off from Raffi's nonsense. Wait, that means we'll probably have to get double the Raffi in the next episode. Where the fuck is Geordi, anyway? They promised us the whole TNG crew would reunite for Season 3, and we can barely get more than three of them in a single place. At least Worf and Troi are in the show, though. Data's not around, but he's dead, so what's Geordi's excuse?

[but-ter-flie-ge]

'Ollo

I'm back. Pahahaha. That sounded so menacing in my brain. Anyways it's six of crows time again. Crazy I know.

I reread the first book and had to get some thoughts out of my jelly brain:

Firstly: the last time I read the duology I didn't really get the hype around the first book.

It just wasn't that interesting to me and the whole ice court heist felt very... faulty and too fast paced. Everything was kind of weirdly put together and rushed. Fight scenes. Emotional scenes. Most of it except for the flashbacks and the banter felt too quick.

I couldn't connect with the characters and I feel like I also didn't really understand a lot of them. Maybe the fact that I read it in German changed something as well, probably changed something.

Now being older and rereading it after the show while properly indulging in the fandom I found myself enjoying every interaction between the characters and actually really noticed a lot of their growth. I appreciate them more and while reading I could overlook that the ice court heist still felt weird. Or rather the heist wasn't weird but it's weird to me that people call it an absolute masterpiece.

I think it should just be seen as something that it is: "A bunch of messed up teenagers doing the impossible with the help of luck and a few good tricks."

That's a mindset I ought to keep when musing about the heist, I suppose. I'm not sure if it was intended as such but it is what I gathered from it.

Secondly: I cherish the characters way more than before and that makes a major difference. Since what I've mentioned before and I have been constructing the characters in my brain as who they are and what I appreciate about them the first book became 10 times better.

This point is also related to the fact that everything feels rushed because when you barely know the characters their banter might be funny but it doesn't affect you as much as it does once you know them. Now it feels like you're reading of friends joking around instead of strangers.

Kaz:

During the first read I really despised Kaz. I may said I found him interesting but now I feel more like I just said that out of a want to understand what the rest of the world apparently agreed upon which is that Kaz is phenomenal. He's great he's wonderful and a big player when it comes to book crushes.

What I can say is that the TV series really helped me understand and ultimately like Kaz more. Specifically the second season. In the first season, I don't connect Book-Kaz with the Kaz on screen but the second season did him justice. To a degree. (Idk why he gives Nikolai his cane (please fix that)) Probably also because in season 2 he was in his actual plot and habitat.

This time when I write:"I find him interesting." I mean it. I actually really enjoy watching how his character moves and tada! I now even acknowledge his crush on Inej. Because in my first read I subconsciously never really believed him. He was too much of an asshole to me. But even if I believed him I didn't have any pity left to sympathize with him. Blinded by hate I suppose.

This time I actually had an understanding of his actions, why he takes them, and what they mean to him.

I still view him as a ruthless fucker who only has space for himself when it comes to his friends but it's easier to bear when I actually want to know more about his rage and logical reasoning. The way he gets to where he is.

Inej:

In the first read, I may liked Inej. In the second read, I put her on a pedestal and prayed next to her feet every night.

I don't know what hold me from seeing Inej for who she is in my first read but I know that now I could explode with love for her. It's funny to me because I thought I quite enjoyed reading about her but for some reason, it intensified.

Anyways her character growth and the resolve she finds in herself to say no, choosing what's best for her. Oof-

Also, Danielle Galligan (actress of Nina Zenik) said that Inej is just so authentic she brings other people to be truthful in her presence. I just really loved that statement.

Nina and Jesper:

I still adore both of them as I did when I first read it. Nothing much changed. Except maybe it got worse. But all in all, I'm the same old simp.

Wylan and Matthias:

Matthias I found way funnier. During the first read, I was just hating on him for obvious reasons. And even at the end of it all I wasn't a big fan and I didn't grab a lot of his pov nor what Nina meant when she said that he's just a boy with rage planted inside of him.

Now I understand that better and of course, he's still an annoying stupid big honk that doesn't know shit about the world but at least his confusion and the others mocking him were enjoyable. And the character development will forever make me happy.

I adore him and Nina. They're so sweet together and I didn't think I'd ever say that after my first read. But here we are. What a journey it has been.

It's the same as the first time with Wylan. I loved him but I didn't get any chapters from his pov so I was pissed. The show slaughtered the reveal of his dyslexia which I still don't support but maybe they can make the angst work somehow if there's to be a spin-off.

Also, I was scared that he would be useless throughout the whole book. Because in my memory, he wasn't but maybe that's just my old memory blinded by the pink glasses.

However, I think it's often hard to judge Wylan on this since he operates more in the background and with the few resources he has. Of course, he's still a weight the others drag along during the heist but let's be honest: Wylan was less of a problem than other characters messing up.

Obviously one has to consider that Wylan doesn't get the big jobs to begin with but one can counter-argue that Kaz could've left Pekka alone in the cell instead of taking too long and risking all their lives for his vendetta.

This reminds me: the scene where Kaz exposes Jesper about having told a dime lion he's leaving town will forever make me mad for this exact reason.

Kaz says he can't trust Jesper anymore. He says he wanted to punish him by not telling him about Wylan looking like Kuwei or that Wylan and Nina were actually safe when Van Eck destroyed their ship.

I don't even know where to start. Did Kaz ever really trust Jesper? Don't think so. He just knew how to use him but trust? The only one he ever conceded to was Inej which could be considered a spark of trust. That's it. I feel like he doesn't have the right to speak of trust when all he ever gave were simple orders.

Then his thoughts about punishing him.

Dear Kazzle Dazzle, did anyone punish you when your weakness showed and you collapsed in a prisoner wagon even though you knew this could've happened? Did anyone punish you when you left Nina alone in the corridor of a high-security prison? Did anyone punish you when you sent Nina in a death trap with Matthias and Brum that could've gone very wrong very quickly? It was a gamble and he says it himself. He even says he would be the one to pay for all these "tree jokes". But no Kaz. You wouldn't have been the one to take the brunt of this. It would've been Nina. She would've paid with her consciousness. Worse than death.

Nina was lucky that luck was on your side. I guess the third scenario is still very different from the first and second ones because at least Kaz tried to save her but nonetheless it annoyed me that he made it about himself. I get why but the why doesn't help him.

Thirdly: I have my problems with the writing style and plot.

By no means am I a professional especially not when it comes to English as it is not my mother tongue but I just wanted to describe the feeling I've got from it.

This is a tricky one because I'm not the biggest fan of either. I mean the only reveals or plot-twists that really hit home are the ones not related to the ice court. So the biggest portion of the book I wasn't too keen whenever some grand scheme worked because it didn't seem like a scheme at all. It was a lot of luck.

In the first read that bothered me. In the second read it didn't too much.

The writing style isn't my favourite. I don't hate it though. I feel like some of the similes are pretty damn good and the train of thought of the characters and descriptions are nicely woven together. The dialogues are very strong and the banters may be some of the best I've ever read. Even fanfiction got some serious competition here.

However, as I said it felt rushed and like sometimes there wasn't the right feeling for how the scenes should end. When I first read it I found this even worse than in my second read. For instance, the fight with Jesper and Wylan against the Tidemakers doesn't take much longer than a few seconds to read. But apparently, that fight had a big impact on Jesper. It's never mentioned again in the book but it's the start of him questioning whether he should go and learn about his powers. And since we already don't get any background about him in the first book I feel like this at least could've been a longer struggle.

In conclusion, I know it's not all about the plot and a book can be about good characterization and everything. But I also know that I can love something and still criticise it. Usually makes the media even better.

The characters are where the book shines which means a reread or watching the show and then reading it feels like the smarter option to me. It's worth it and it lets you see things in a different light. That's me speaking from my subjective point of view but it's also my review so. Get wrecked I guess?

[thecoolerliauditore]

I know I don't deserve another response from you, so just ignore this if you want. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sent that message. I appreciate the kindness you gave me that I don't really deserve.

Honestly... I just can't believe that artists don't have a knack to start with. Because I've always had a knack for anything I'm good at, like math. I never really had to put effort into learning math. And even the things that I'm good at that did take effort I still had a knack at the beginning. I'm not trying to downplay artists' effort, I know it does take effort, but I don't think you can just start from 0. Or at least, I can't. So I'm not making that conclusion just on other people's art but also in other things I'm good at.

By the way, I'm not the person who sent the "life is unfair" ask, but I was already feeling negative and saw Struda's response and I reacted even worse.

My life's going pretty well all things considered, and I'm going to a good college to study some STEM related stuff. In the background I've struggled with this desire to be creative, though, and I'm trying to stifle that desire but it's not working, and no one really seems to have tutorials on how to get rid of that desire. I have a therapist and parents I could talk to, but doing so didn't help, either, because they don't understand what I'm trying to say.

I'm sorry also that it came off as guilt trippy. I'm really bad with managing my tone, especially when I'm feeling like this. I don't mean that as an excuse but as an explanation.

nah this is way more like it, i think we all need a bit of practice online with talking to each other like actual human beings and not text boxes to write ur entire internal monologue into 👍

happy to hear your life is going okay! If anything I'm just glad you're an adult who can reflect on yourself enough to recognize what you were doing was not great. I was trying to keep things vague as possible because, again, idk you and you could've been a 13 year old with no allowance for all i know lol.

i've noticed alot of beginner artists tend to have this.. all or nothing mindset? i don't really understand the desire to stifle your need to create. like. are you not allowed to have a hobby lol. amateur means to love yada yada. especially if you're not trying to make a living out of it where's the rush 😭😭

Going to link this marco bucci video again because even tho it's long it's probably one of the most eye-opening things I've ever watched in terms of his view on talent, gifted kid syndrome, etc.

I used to say I had a 'knack' for art tbh. then i realised i.. really didn't? i just drew more than the other kids in my class because i didn't like sports or maths and got the reputation for being "the art kid". funnily enough i was also into creative writing and history but no one looks at reciting historical facts like they do with drawing 🤷‍♂️

it wasn't til i was in a course with other artists everywhere when I realised just how not-talented i really was. and thats fine cus none of us really were. some of us were just better at learning than others (which is a trained skill in of itself) and that's about it. 👍

if it helps at all, I have gotten into sports recently despite being useless at it all my life and have realised that it was more that I just needed an environment to flourish in instead of any problem with my athleticism itself (which is STILL BAD don't get me wrong but im not hopeless like my gym teachers thought i was 😭😭). so maybe what u need is just the right people? try finding an online artist community that you fit in, make some friends, and just chill with them while making art together?

again i dunno you so idk what would work lmao

so uh yeah 👍

[spiritelectric3]

My journey through Homestuck Act 2 (Part 1)

Splitting these into parts so these posts aren't toooo long. (This goes to page 002284, about where the towel falls on Dave's head).

-Did we... need a walkthrough of Sburb?

-Okay, actually this is pretty good exposition.

-As much as one generally doesn't know what they're getting into when they read this, I do really like how willing the comic is to establish very quickly how mind-bending it is. Looking back, I think I might've appreciated reading it when I was 14-16 (2015-2017). Alas, twas not to be. Before I stop writing this note, I would like to make note of what I did get into when I was in that age range. I got into surreality and weirdness in media. This was the time I watched Serial Experiments Lain. This was the time I got into art video games, like The Beginner's Guide. It was also when I discovered the wonderfully weird world of Adult Swim. However, a lot of that energy was also dedicated to surreality in filmmaking, which was heavily dominated by very poor understandings of morality, due to not only the mindset of the time, but also the mindset of the priveleged men who made these films, most of which were dominated by the ideas of Sigmund Freud. Let me ask you this. If instead of getting so invested in art cinema as a teenager, I spent that time reading Homestuck, would that have been a more positive force on my life? That remains to be seen.

-the blue jester has the ARMS

-I love treating the ominous blue jester like they can definitely be trusted

-Wait. Is the implication that we, the readers are the blue jester? What are we?

-Why am being LECTURED by the narrator. Stop being MEAAAN

-It's honestly kind of sad how John just wanted to play a video game, and now the world is ending, that that him playing it is what is specifically ending the world.

-woah, time traveling messages, or something.

-Earlier I questioned the use of the walkthrough. However, I think it's important to understand this comic as a comic written as though it were a video game. You cannot understand what's going on if you read this like you would an issue of Marvel. You actively must shift your mind that with which you would approach a different medium in order to make sense of it. So, a walkthrough to help understand the mechanics of this story is unsurprising.

-wow, my apocalypse is pretty good, but my neighbor has an apocalypse+ subscription. I'm thinking of getting one for myself, but it's just so pricey you know?

-This is like if Jorge Luis Borges attempted to write the Bible

-I was a bar code once.

-Rose is just intelligent

-The use of multiple types of grist, and most importantly, Rose's response to it show an interesting parallel with the fault in one's approach to understanding something. On a proper game walkthrough, you would see a system such as grist typically get its own section as a means of understanding of the base mechanics of the game, especially if the game doesn't explain it for you. However, due to the extremely restrictive nature of the opening of Sberb, Rose cannot figure out the very base mechanics of the game, focusing instead on how to use those mechanics to succeed. In this way, Rose cannot understand Sberb because she does not have access to the experience and thought process of better understanding how it actually works. Think of it like school, and how oftentimes, they teach how to do well on tests, but fail to teach the very ideas, concepts, and ways of thinking that they are supposed to. Sberb is a game based on complicated systems, and yet those who do well are rewarded for making logical leaps, not actually understanding Sberb. (Note from later on that I thought of. The above methodology is essentially how John already behaves, reacting to whatever he has in his hands, or captchalog for that matter. Rose on the other hand, is better at understanding systems like Sburb overall, which shows the dire nature of the situation when Rose is thinking more like John)

-Oh, Rose is PISSED

-It is nice to see the characters act like kids again, even if for a moment.

-Wait, the blue jester isn't a communication device?

-or IS IT!?

-I.... have been spelling Sburb wrong, haven't I? Eh. I'll leave the misspelling up for authenticity.

-that car better come back

-oh-no... I've forgotten about GG. That's not good. I hope I don't have to go back through the old messages.

-I do not like TG

-The second person narrator changing is a bit weird. It sort of begs the question of why even have a second person narrator. I'll see how this goes though.

-tfw bags exist in Homestuck

-I was about to write a rant about Rose's captchalog being inconvenient to use because it autobalances, though using my brain has allowed me to realize that that like gives her more selection options in the long run, so its a moot point.

-this eldritch deity list is ever so slightly tedious.

-Also, I'm gonna make note of the summoning ritual, as this is another example of a system of thought that our main characters do not seem to understand. I'll likely note systems of thought in the future, since they seem to be the building blocks of the series.

-Okay, this is hilarious

-Wait, why was this game STILL IN BETA!?

-I can NOT believe they brought back the piss apple juice joke from the beginning that was initially just a reference to the movie Little Monsters

-OH GOD, he's doing to Game Bro what I'M DOING TO HOMESTUCK

-Oh my goodness, a game based comic inside a game based comic. What'll happen next?

-I... do not like this section

-Wow. Homestuck. Homestuck jokes about Homestuck. Homestuck.

-shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!

-lol i guess

-Another observation I think is important. If you understand the base rules of the comic, you don't really seem to need to recall everything that happened up until now exactly. Here's where we see the benefits of understanding the system the comic operates on. The question here though is this: To what extent can one keep this system in their head, and how useful will it be once so much happens in the future?

-I am not amused by the medium

-I love how obscure this piss joke is, and thus far, it is one of the primary recurring gags in the series.

-Wait, I thought the strife deck lets you have that item infinitely, but I guess I'm wrong? What's the point then? Is it just a talent box?

-Dave should have used the hash map that pushes inhabited boxes over in the event that two inhabit the same box... it's been a bit since I took data structures, though you could probably gather that from my take on stacks and queues from the last part.

-wow, dave being VULNERABLE

-Quick observation about time in Homestuck: Time is pretty loose in this series, at least in act 2. The very basis for a lot of the motivations comes from something that will happen in the future. Our interactions with Dave are in the past. What Homestuck is communicating to us as the readers is to not be quite so concerned with time dilating or shifting around, but rather to pay heed to time as a construct, for what is time but distance?

-Thus far, Rose is DEFINITELY my fav character. Who knows how long it'll stay that way once GG (whose real name I do know but shhh authenticity) and the trolls come in, but I'm liking her thus far.

-note to self: write long take on labrynthian setting design if it continues.

-it's stupid how the bronze not copper joke got a chuckle out of me.

-From what I can tell from the series thus far, and what I know of it going forward, every aspect of every character's life is going to become horrifyingly relevant to lore, so every detail feels like horrifying foreshadowing.

-another interesting aspect of the writing style is in how such aforementioned details are brought forth. Think about adventure games, and how there's always a bunch of stuff to click on/interact with that aren't story relevant, but contribute to the tone and atmosphere of the game. For Homestuck, the work needs to reproduce that in order to match the tone, but must do so without the reader's choice. So, we're left with information that both is and isn't relevant simultaneously.

-Rose's relationship to her mother is... interesting

-WORSHORSHOR SAUCE!? EEYUK! I HATE WORSHORSHOR SAUCE!

-So, it's interesting how the parents are portrayed in this series in that they are effectively dehumanized into strange entities whose reasoning and mind cannot be understood. For John's father, this made for goofy hijiinks, but for Rose's mother, it's different. Rose's mother is in some way, eldritch. I'm not exactly sure quite where I'm going with this in total, but I think it's important to remember that the system that the world of Homestuck operates on is more or less the system that the minds of the kids operate on. This means that the much different systems the parents operate on is objectively false, and therefore something about them is incomplete.

-The youth roll is an example of the above concept.

-I like how Dave and GG actively get along

-Dave hates dogs. Evil. Did everything wrong

My thoughts thus far are this. I think we've definitely hit the point post inciting incident where the story is slogging a little. Right now the story is taking off, but it needs to move somewhere while still introducing the rest of the characters, and that takes time. It's normal for stories to slow down at that point. There is still so much to be revealed of layer two. By the fractal theory of storytelling, we are only at about the end of act one of act two. That being said, I think act two is demonstrating the importance of systems and understanding of systems within Homestuck. This is revealing the mentality with which I am approaching this series. I'll also say that I'm enjoying meeting the characters and getting to know them. If anything, it could be worse. It could be a 1960s-1980s art film. Anyway, looking forward to the rest of Act 2.