#which ive been procrastinating by writing this instead

[nonbinary-eddie-munson]

Steve is Robins beard/no upside down AU where Robin and Steve run away and get married after Robin graduates because she gets outed in the last few weeks of highschool and its the only way to stop her parents from sending her to a christan all girls college.

Originally the cover up plan is for Robin and Steve to tell her parents that they just recently started dating and a girl in band started the rumor about Robin being a lesbian because she was jealous and hoped it would make Steve and Robin break up. They can fake date and then "break up" after Robin goes off to college in Chicago, claiming the distance was too much.

Robins mom is fully ready to accept this as fact, after all it will do so much for their status in town if her daughter marries into the Harrington family

Robins dad, on the other hand, hates the idea of his only daughter being with the son of Richard Harrington. He watched the bastard play with his sisters heart in highschool before running off to marry some rich girl and will be damned if he sees the same happen to his daughter. No it will be better if he put an end to all of this and ships her off to Mount Saint Marys so she never has to see the Harrington boy again.

Cue Robin and Steve aided by Joyce and Hopper making a plan for them to run away because Steve will be damned if all of Robins dreams are crushed because her father wants to be an over protective asshole. They decide the easiest way to stop her dad from tracking them down and forcing Robin to come home is if they get married.

So the night after graduation, Robin sneaks out of her house and steals away into the night with Steve. They drive all night until they make it to chicago as the sun is rising. Joyce has a cousin who lives in the city and is willing to let Robin and Steve stay in her spare room until they get settled.

Carina has the same motherly warmth as Joyce, though she never married or had kids instead choosing to live with her " Capital R Roomate" Marjorie. Of course, the two women know the truth of Robin and Steves situation and as soon as the court house opens, they bear witness as Steve and Robin sign the marriage papers and offically become Steve and Robin Buckley-Harrington

They actually fought quite a bit on last names Steve insisting that he should take the last name Buckley because fuck his parents, while Robin still angry at her father wanted to become a Harrington just to spite him. Carina is the one who convinces them to hyphenate after, to her horror and amusement they suggest combining their lastnames and becoming the Buckington's (Steves idea) or the Harringley's (Robins idea)

Steve and Robin find jobs together at a local coffee shop and after Robins first semester at school working towards a degree in linguistics, Steve decides to apply for community college eventually deciding he wants to become a school councilor, he loves working with kids and hey if he can help atleast one kid all the schooling will be worth it.

Steve and Robin love the city and once they both graduate -Robin ending up adding a teaching degree in with her linguitics- they get jobs teaching at a local middle school Steve as the guidance counciler and Robin teaching French and Latin. They talk briefly about getting divorced after a few years but after almost dying in a fire together when starcourt burned down they're trauma bonded for life, honestly steve doesnt know who he was kidding thinking he'd be fine staying in Hawkins until the kids graduated while Robin went off to Chicago.

Carina and Marjorie introduce Robin and Steve to the queer scene in Chicago and Steve has his bisexual awakening. Robin becomes Steves beard just as much as he is hers. They both date around a bit, but nothing serious ever comes of it theres not many people who can handle the combined force that is "Steve And Robin Platonic With A Capital P Soulmates"

Enter professional substitute teacher/drama club advisor Eddie Munson and brand new lead journalist of the Chicago Tribune Nancy Wheeler, who are both confused, gay and unwilling to be homewreckers but cant help but to be sucked into Robin and Steves orbit all the same

[ghastbutlikegay]

ouhhh the time loop......

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[lfghughes]

Hey congrats on finishing your assignments!! Could you write something for Quinn that is kinda based on Arms by Christina Perri?

a/n: thank you! i'm a pretty bad procrastinator so there was plenty of reason to celebrate. thank you for requesting this too! i've been loving all these song requests ive been getting ngl

Relationships were not your strong point. A bad break up had really made it hard for you trust again and it wasn’t Quinns fault that you struggled with this which is why you felt bad that you couldn’t be the person he deserved. You two had started dating a few months back and you were definitely the one taking it slow in the relationship. He was patient though and he never rushed you into anything.

When he had told you he loved you last week though you panicked. You couldn’t say it back even though you knew that you did love him too. There were too many thoughts in your head and insecurities about how he could leave you but now you concern was also how you were damaged goods and you were going to accidentally bring him down with you.

Instead of talking it out with him and trying to explain it, you distanced yourself from him and it was clear to him that you were in the process of doing this. Your texts to him were becoming further apart and less enthusiastic every day. You shouldn’t have been surprised when he showed up at your front door tonight after the way you’ve been blowing him off. “Hey can we talk?” He asked, nodding his head towards your front stoop.

You sat down on the stoop and he sat next to you, your stomach already twisting from what you would hear. “Did I freak you out with the I love you stuff? Because it’s okay if you’re not there yet, I just…I know I’m there and I wanted you to know.” His words made you place your head in your hands, the tears immediately coming to your eyes and you didn’t want him to see you cry about this. “Hey, hey. I’m sorry.” He told you and it only made it worse because here he was apologizing for nothing.

His arm went around you as he pulled you into a hug, you could smell the cologne on him and the way his body wrapped around you made you feel safe. “I just think it would be better for you if you let me go, you deserve someone so much better.” You told him, your voice quiet as you pulled away slightly. He shook his head at you “I don’t want that. Like I said it’s okay if you’re not there yet. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you with saying it.”

“I’m not scared of you being in love, I’m scared that I’m in love with you too and that I’ll mess this up somehow.” His hand cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing away the tears that were still falling. “You won’t mess this up, I’m here for as long as you want me.” Those were the words you needed to hear and immediately your arms went around him, his own wrapping back around you. “I’ll always want you, you feel like home.”

[keystrokecascade]

ok so its only been a week or two since i completely overhauled my website and wrote an SSG in python to maintain it for me but i accidentally completed the next item on my list which was a blog!

i had a few things ive written over the years with the intention of hosting them (thats how long ive been procrastinating) and now theyre up on a cute book-themed (instead of crt themed) website made in the Zola SSG.

in case anyone wants to check it out :3

[kingdoms-and-empires]

I chose the OP option (because I can't decide which stats I wanna focus on 😭) and I developed a little head canon to explain why my character is good at everything. In his former life he was less than OP. He was one of those people who have potential, but never applied himself, out of a mixture of laziness, procrastination, and a crippling fear of failure! When he died he was extremely disappointed in himself. He always figured that he'd pull himself together in the future, but now he's dead and he never achieved anything he wanted, other than gathering some useless facts (like maybe ancient technology such as the treadwheel crane perhaps 👀). When he got his second chance he decided he was gonna make full use of it. The instant he was able to comprehend the language of the world and was able to read, he'd sneak books and accelerate his education through reading things someone as young as him shouldn't understand. He also would go through physical training, again in secret, and watch the guards train in swordsmanship in hopes of picking something up. Since for years he had little to no responsibilities, and the mind of an adult, he has been able to devote almost all his time to developing his mind and body

TL;DR: my MC went from a procrastinator to a try hard and it payed off

Nice headcanon!

i think alot of people would be similar if they had their old memories and would give themselves a strong head start

Its really interesting to think about how you'd really act in a similar situation to the MC as you yourself.

The MC is canon to be "good" from the start, and its up to the player to choose how the MC progresses over time...honestly the best reincarnation works ive seen out there arent the traditional Isekai protag animes, its actually works that deal with a woman being reincarnated or isekai'd. Either a reincarnated villainess trope, or general isekai trope work, the ones with female leads are generally better in my opinion since it usually aint a power fantasy

Eh idk where i went with all this but it was fun to think about haha, so thanks!

Oh, some of my favorite anime that deal in reincarnation and isekai with female leads or kingdom simulators in general that do it well with male or female leads are these:

Fuuuuuck youre making me break out my old bookmarks and im seeing my mangas are now updated with new chapters...dozens of new chapters!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANNA STOP WRITING AND READ INSTEAD

This one has adorable art that I feel in love with as the MC starts as a baby lol, and the MC is competent, which is really nice

The MC is alright, she tries doing stuff to get out of shitty circumstances but the real highlight of the story are the titular Monster Duchess and her husband. Nooo idea how it is now but theres literally double the chapters now from where i left of and im so tempted to read lolololol

OMFGGGGG I FORGOT ABOUT THIS!! This is a fav of mine since it deals with the cinderella story! The MC is a reincarnated chick who plays as the evil stepmother in cinderella's story, but omfg its such a good twist on the trope and it really does alot of things well, and THERES SO MANY NEW CHAPTERSSSSSS

YOOOOOOOOOO I forgot this one too lmaoooo ima bad fan haha

Anyways, this is another great subversion of the reincarnating trope since the MC is on her THIRD reincarnated life, and she actually conquered EVERYTHING in her second life. But she got betrayed and killed by people and she said mannnnnn fuck this, ima get hitched with the dude who was nice to me in my old life and never asked for shit! And so begins a funny as romance story lol, GOD DAMN AND THEYRE ON THE SECOND SEASON NOOOOOOW

Someone either here or on Discord recommended this to me, and whoever did so, I love you! This is a weirdly realistic take on the historical figures of the Sengoku period having to deal with this weird girl who appears to have come out of nowhere but knows a bit of practical modern knowledge that helps Oda Nobunaga win some victories. Honestly, i really appreciate how grounded it is for a manga! The truth of the matter is, we really wouldnt be able to do that much if we were in her shoes either lol!

Bruhhhh when i tell you i squealed when i saw how many chapters this has now! Without a doubt, this is my favorite! The MC is hyper competent, she uses her femineity to her advantage and doesnt fight against it like other works do when they wanna show their female lead "isnt like other girls", and shes honestly such a joy to watch running circles around other people that screwed her over in her past life. Read this one for sure!!!!

Another competent female lead how got reincarnated and has to survive death flags by marrying one of the romance options, but the world system keeps screwing her over and its funny to see how she has to navigate trying to romance obviously shitty romance options who sound really hot (like the enemies to lovers trope would NOT be easy in real life lmao) or (the crazy mfer who makes you scared but horni)

Read this and then decide if you'd survive lol

AHGHGHGHHHH This is so good!!! Basically a girl has to become the stepmother to children how are close in age to her. She tries to do things her own way at first, but she dies. So she gets reincarnated and tries to do better the second time around. If you wanna read a good female lead doing introspection and learning from her past mistakes, read this. Its really good!

Alrighty. This is honestly a guilty pleasure, and should really be read after reading alot of villainess or female lead reincarnation manga to basically cleanse your palate with this funny ass story lol. Instead of playing by the rules of society like the previous stories, the main character does "not like other girls" very well and its enjoyable to watch lol! Use it once you get tired of the previously mentioned ones!

Annnnnnd that's it! Thank you for making me out myself lmaooooo

[wewontdieunbloomed]

this is part two of unlearning the bad things i unconsciously learnt from last year.

part one was the negative default pessimism i fall in to, which i keep calling it me being emo which means i dwell in my “misery” for far too long, instead of trying to think of something positive to get myself moving out of the bad zone i am in. as we are often told, sadness and negativity gets comforting, it feels like you are protecting yourself. but one cannot see beauty in life and find joy for oneself if one does not make oneself vulnerable.

and so making myself vulnerable is what ive been doing. trying to romanticise this state that im in, a liminal space, at crossroads. its not the most ideal, too many things are unknown and for the first time in my life im dealing with having barely any structure to my days, with nothing to do yet so much i should do.

it took me quite a while to stop lamenting this unknown and start returning to the foundations i built this blog and my entire philosophy off, the whole concept of “lest we die unbloomed” of making sure i dont realise one day ive wasted my time. and in small parts i like to think ive made progress on that

the focus now is the second part. i lost a lot of my attention span and impulse control, and today i reached a horrible point where i am sitting on the kitchen floor at 9 with no dinner, having ruined my microwave dinner out of a lack of common sense. i am not sure if all this recent muddling is because of covid brain fog or the horrifying amount of screen time i have had recently, but i was so sick of it. i have done a lot of things on impulse recently, and though today i had a really fulfilling day spending time with people i havent in a long time, when i got home and im back to reality of the things i havent done and been procrastinating for too long on, i felt horrible. this need to change, i realised.

so this is part two. it calls back to one of the values i set as something important to myself, being honest with myself. i know what im doing now is not working. i know that even though i use my planner im not sticking to it. i know my todo lists are not helping me. then why do i stubbornly stick to methods i know dont work? i told myself a year ago i would not change my system if it doesnt need to be changed. i have forgotten that i need to change it when it does. how silly! so im changing.

so in the last 2 hours in order to get myself up ive written todo lists on paper instead of in my journal. used a timer for every single step from shower to sweeping the floor to brushing my teeth. enough lazing around and letting simple things occupy too much time. its a parkinsons law thing.

enough doomscrolling and opening instagram when i have nothing to do. im setting a limit for a block of time in the day where i am not allowed to use social media, pwrhaps not any internet at all. i need to make drastic change, even if it seems inconsequential. it might not be academic but its personal. and my personal life and what i want to do with my time is worth taking big measures for, because it should be more important than all that revision for exams i used to do.

so the point f this ramble is to clear things out with myself. make some sense of whats goijg on. have a direction. tomorrow i have an interview. ill come home and do the chores i have to. prepare for my afternoon activity. go for lunch and my afternoon appointment. go for a run. buy dinner. write my applications. research on uni stuff. read a book. and all the other tint things i need to give more importance to even though they seem inconsequential. it sa new mantra ive gotten into ever since part one of this. that “this is the way” this is the new way. enough lazing. its time to go hard and be rurhless. take things up a notch because when else can i do it? go big from experiences to measures i have to take to discipline myself. this is the way.

04.04.2023

[ethernetmeep]

I really enjoy the way you write/talk/ramble. Very eloquent. Personal but abstract. Transparent but opaque. I hope that doesn't sound too weird for me to say.

Anyway, because of that I wanted to ask: what do you like to read? What are your favourite books?

as soon as i saw this, i felt a bit dizzy— flattered, indefinitely! i write so many anonymous messages, that i forget what its like to get one myself.. i really do appreciate your kind words, i would give you a hug but doing so for an anon feels almost intrusive— so instead i offer a hypothetical little tea party :^)

as for the quote, weirdness factor, never worry about something like that. well.. with me, i mean. it wasn’t weird at all, and even in the offhand chance it was, i quite like the strange. being alive shouldn’t always have to be conforming to a majority, but thats a different discussion..

what do i like to read, huh? hmmmmmm… thats a really good question. (i almost said ‘actually’ which implied the question had any percentage to not be good; this isn’t true! i appreciate all questions) its an odd mix, but i thoroughly enjoy scientific books, whether that be about a broad subject like space or a book dedicated to solely spiders. learning about this world i inhabit means quite a lot to me. i also enjoy books which are a bit complex, although i wouldn’t say i go out of my way to say esoteric; mainly because… i tend to procrastinate many things, especially reading. it would be a lie if i said i read most of the books to fit that supposed genre… i have read house of leaves, though. one of my favorite books ever….

i’ve talked about this in length before, so excuse me if i sound redundant, but the motif of haunted* houses is quite special to me. notice the asterisk on haunted. anatomy by kitty horrorshow, the haunting of hill house, house.wad…. anything in that vein, absolutely enamored with. funnily enough, still have to read the haunting of hill house. thoroughly excited. then again, thats a very specific kind of media, and not a book genre

other favorites include the metamorphosis & innumerable insects. love those… have a photo of franz kafka in my wallet at all times. i also am quite fond of junji ito’s work, although i haven’t read some from my shelf in awhile. i know manga is technically different from the textbook definition of book, but i put it here anyway to be more thorough

to be honest, i like to read anything which seems intriguing and captivates my attention, and that is.. many things. i have more books i want to read then books actually read, i think. for example, ive been wanting to read no longer human, (read the manga version junji ito created; still different, though) but i’ve simply haven’t gotten around to it. its quite silly… and my interest is genuine in them, i should add— i get immensely excited at their ideas & concepts, i just lose track of time quite easily. my lack of reading isn’t because i don’t want to, but because i simply… how do the kids say this… forgor…

thank you very much for the ask— it means quite a lot to me to be able to converse with others ^_^ and, as i said earlier, your compliments are much appreciated.. very much so.. i do hope you’re doing okay, wherever you are & whomever you are. 🫂

(if you do not like a tea party or tea, then maybe hot chocolate will suffice. i know i enjoy hot chocolate, but it varies for everyone..)

[ghostofscarley]

hello everyone.. alas i am bored and instead of finishing my prepls or school work (aha procrastination), i saw an author write out their entire playlist that fit with their fic and gave mini explanations as to why they paired each song.. so i would like to present, ahem

GHOSTOFSCARLEY's REASONS FOR THE SONGS OF HER PLAYLIST; RWTS

now ofc, all credit isnt mine.. my lover @emso12 wrote 'Rewrite The Stars' and ive been in love with it for just over a year, id say, now, however i made the playlist not too long ago, which consist songs that just made sense following the storyline of this fic.. now, whilst a good lot of the songs cannot simply be explained, i removed them for the sake of this post and so if i remember them, ill add them again.. that being said, it still left a good 6 hours left of songs so we're in for a ride..

fair warning; quite a lot of songs, therefore this is basically a rant.. a hefty one.. read at own risk (the risk being pure boredom unless this somewhat interests you like it interested me) spoilers too for those who are yet to read RWTS

lets get started !!!

Rewrite The Stars - Zac Efron, Zendaya

obviously, as the name of the book itself, and a running metaphor throughout as the chapters as the book progressed, it only made sense. the song focuses on the differences between y/n and adrian and how they overcome those differences as they grow older and mature and write their own story; their love story

Wanna Know - Sabrina Claudio

my perception of this song is that a couple is within the stage in which they're now sharing the 'l' word. obviously this is a big commitment and sometimes one can wonder whether their significant other truly means it. this can be set when adrian first says it to y/n or when they're broken up (temporarily). if they were so hurt from the actions of the other, were they truly in love?

I Don't - Sabrina Claudio

now this song is moreso focused on the lovely miss emilia morales and well.. the dick-ish miles bletchley. this song focuses on a toxic relationship. similarly, no matter how much miles seemed to hurt our girl, because of her love for him, all of those reasons meant nothing, she was so in love with him that she could not bring herself to leave him. she knew that he meant well and would better himself

Frozen - Sabrina Claudio

now again this song can be set when y/n and adrian are younger and are just lounging during a break or a weekend at hogwarts in a common room OR when they have moved in together. this was chosen to show how no matter what, they always knew the other would be the ONE for them, they would love each other no matter what.

Orion's Belt - Sabrina Claudio

so, talking about a constellation and relating it to freckles? i immediately thought of adrian and how his upbringing (as well as his kids names) being somewhat related to space. this song is also about familiarising the feeling of love and romantic warmth together. they create a safe space that was to only be shared between them.

We Have Time - Sabrina Claudio

not too far into their relationship, or maybe even before it became official, adrian has said that he did not want to rush things; i mean this was his first serious relationship. so this song represents how they slowed the pace and took their time to really get to know and inevitably fall in love with each other. through this, it evolved into a loving relationship in which they both gained a significant other and best friend, and it did not feel forced.

Natural - Sabrina Claudio

this song focuses in on the development of a crush that they held on each other and how quick it was to happen. having both been in relationships, it felt new when they started falling for each other, because it was real. not just physical or shy and awkward, but tender and warm and with a friendship already developed, it meant they already knew each other to some degree. and they both continued to fall harder for the other.

Best of the Kind - Jereena Montemayor

now when people say that their significant other is their 'other half', it cannot be portrayed better than in this song. its vaguely implicated. with adrian, y/n felt like a better version of herself. no matter what issues or problems they went through, they knew they would get through it together. they truly were each others better half; they completed each other and it would be hard to imagine one without the other.

Close As Strangers - 5 Seconds of Summer

this takes place during the break up as well. of course the lyrics insinuate that they would still be together, but for the sake of this fic, not quite. it still, however conveys the pain that they felt. in fact, when it comes to lyrics like ' late night calls and another text', this could be happy memories of letters sent between the two when they were still together. but then it says 'but you know that i'll always wait for you', so despite being apart and even somewhat seeing other people, they still hold an amount of love for the other. they could never truly let the other go

Moving Along - 5 Seconds of Summer

whilst y/n showed signs of having moved on (and actually being interested in joseph), it was clear that whatever adrian did with pansy was to streak a sense of jealousy through y/n, yet it was clear he was never truly into pansy, just needed a distraction from the pain. that he had unwillingly caused. adrian tried hard to get through to her, it was never his intentions to hurt her, but for the moment, it was clear that the issue was beyond repair. oh and y/n specifically said 'i know youll find someone else who you can love'.

Lie To Me - 5 Seconds of Summer

this can be set anytime adrian sees y/n with joseph, perhaps when they are together near the black lake or just outside of the gryffindor quidditch tent. seeing her happy after the downfall of the 'it' couple of hogwarts, it was clear that she had moved on (though it was otherwise). at this point, the supposedly new couple is moreso a rebound from the pain that was mistakenly thrown onto y/n

She Looks So Perfect - 5 Seconds of Summer

a more happy song with a happier interpretation. often people find this song silly due to the lyrics. but personally, i find this song quite sweet. no matter what, she would always look perfect in his eyes. i relate this song specifically to the scene in which y/n gave birth to baby z, with fly away hairs, sweat dripping down her forehead and the softest smile as she held the first born pucey against her chest, adrian had never thought that she had looked more perfect then in that moment. the yule ball look was quaking.

Wherever You Are - 5 Seconds of Summer

and we are back to the breakup. though they were separated, in this case romantically and physically, though y/n was in a committed relationship that, though controlling, was respected, it meant that boundaries were created and thus the closeness between her and her friends severed more. so through this song, it insinuates no matter where she may be, near or far, though they may no longer be together, she will always be a lingering thought of adrian's.

Not In The Same Way - 5 Seconds of Summer

ooh a bit spicy. well this takes place during (i was gonna say the first) both trips to france, where, fun times in the sheets happen between miss y/l/n and mr pucey. suck on that joseph. obviously this does not fix what was lost, but they allow themselves to embrace each other as if it is to be their last. they still feel the same love that remains from their past relationship, however the pain of the 'affair' is what holds y/n back.

Want You Back - 5 Seconds of Summer

think this is pretty self explanatory, however, this is set closer to the breakup. obviously in this stage, adrian is still working hard to get his girl back (despite still being seen with pugface), however as time progresses, its not that he stops trying, but rather, that he believes she would be happier with someone else. so he lays off, seeing as his past efforts were rather futile.

Better Man - 5 Seconds of Summer

now this relates moreso to his years before he met y/n. he was, to use emilias words, a man whore. obviously as he indulges in her and starts his first serious relationship, it is shown to his friends just how much y/n changed him. for the better. she had really tamed him

Disconnected - 5 Seconds of Summer

they were officially in love and in love with the idea of losing themselves in each other. they had truly found their safe place. their happy place. the soft and happy yet upbeat song perfectly defines the 'love' stage of y/n and adrian in my opinion. they were completely enamoured with every little thing the other did, and quite literally felt themselves disconnect from the world that surround them as they only needed each other.

Lover Of Mine - 5 Seconds of Summer

this is set just after the battle, when adrian finally gets his girl back. maybe even a little after. he finally reflects on the mistakes that his younger self made, how idiotic he was, and how he would only need y/n, for all that she would take of him. he would continue to better himself and vow to never make those mistakes again for he could not bare to lose her. she was it for him. and he was to make sure that she knew that.

Story Of Another Us - 5 Seconds of Summer

sad again. this is set during the breakup. maybe just after pansy has slapped adrian and y/n is officially with joseph. despite the upbeat tone and quick tempo, the lyrics hold a sombre mood and saddening message, yet so beautiful. every happy memory with y/n is like a movie. and adrian can only hope can he can start a new story with his love. though for the moment, it would have to be but a wish.

Ghost Of You - 5 Seconds of Summer

as they drift further apart, the memory of each other becomes like that of a ghost. the side that the other may have once occupied, the indent of what once was a familiar body begins to flatten out. the familiar music that may have echoed in the room, is now only danced to by a single person rather than a pair. and the company of a past lover is replaced with someone who could never be the other. 'that my feet don't dance like they did with you'.

Best Years - 5 Seconds of Summer

similar to my fic, this song is set just after the battle when our lovers reconcile. adrian promises that shes it for him (though we all knew that already), that he wouldn't make that mistake again, that there was no one else he'd rather, even if she didn't want him anymore. spoiler; she still wanted him.

If You Love Her - Forest Blakk

when adrian had come to terms with y/n and joseph being a thing (understanding that she had cut contact to respect her relationship), i pictured this song. i pictured adrian telling joseph to look after y/n and more importantly, her heart. to never hurt her. i pictured this thru an unsent letter where he then went on to rant abt the small yet simple things she loved, because to him that's when his love for her grew, watching her eyes glow as she did the things she loved. 'shes the best thing that you'll ever have. she'll love you if you love her'.

Kiss Me - Sixpence None The Richer

when i think of the moments where y/n and adrian sit together out by the black lake near their initial-carved tree, i think of this song. i think of the more intimate yet non-sexual moments, the ones of just pure love and admiration that they share between them. and i think of the desperate whispers shared as they lie in bed together, drowning everything else out

Till The End - Jessie Ware

this one is pretty self explanatory and similar to my own fic of the song. it is set around both the end of the war, their makeup and when they get married. it's a promise to be each other's 'other half', till the end of time

Can't Help Falling In Love - Kina Grannis

obviously this song is a classic love song by the king, elvis presley, however i chose this version as even tho the story is set in the 1980s-1990s, the softness of Kina's voice (and the fact that it was used during the wedding in Crazy, Rich Asian' just made sense to me), it just seemed right to incorporate it with the wedding between y/n and adrian

[i-like-gay-books]

long post so i GUESS i’ll put it under the cut

so i’ve been really reflecting lately on my self diagnosis of autism, especially since i’ve been really coming into myself and managing my anxiety better than ever before, and ive been wondering whether it might be that the symptoms i thought were attached to being autistic are just how anxiety manifests in me and the things about myself that i thought proved that i dont have adhd in any way may also just be how anxiety manifests in me. because also even though ive really related with autism and the social symptoms, i’ve never really been sure i have sensory processing issues, at least not to the extent that the dsm specifies in order to be autistic. and what i really HAVE related to is the inability to just sit down and get shit done. so i took another self assessment with this clearer knowledge i have of myself and how i really function as a human being when im on my own and living as an adult and

the only ones that arent high levels are literally the ones that i can directly pinpoint as one of my biggest concerns with my anxiety. impulsivity is the one that makes adhders more likely to butt into conversations or keep going on for a long time or make decisions and later regret them. as you may have noticed i am particularly long winded when im typing, but is that true of me in real life? like at all? not really. i struggle to get two words out sometimes. i was selectively mute in my childhood. i can say for a fact that the reason for this in my hyper-awareness of the potential of making a faux pas or embarrassing myself in social situations. and i have decision paralysis due to the same phenomenon. im very aware of the potential of disappointing other people if i make a bad decision. im not sure if impulsivity would manifest itself in the “typical” adhd way if my anxiety wasn’t there, but i have no way of ever knowing that because it is.

and forgetfulness. i beat that shit out of myself when i was younger. i can clearly remember a time in elementary school, then in middle school, then in high school (before i started writing sticky notes for myself) when i would get myself in trouble just simply because of forgetting about assignments. my family is very academically oriented. my parents wouldnt be SUPER mad at me if i was trying my best and didnt get good grades, but i knew they would be disappointed if i didnt try my best. i have so many systems in place so as to never ever forget about schoolwork any more. you have no clue how revolutionary it is for me that college professors actually put all of the assignments for the semester of the syllabus. one of my biggest gripes about high school was that the teachers would just assign homework seemingly at random? it was easy to forget if you werent writing it all down, ok? and for appointments? same deal. my parents kind of took care of the remembering appointments part before i got older and by now i do have these systems in place for myself. i do often forget to make calls, mostly because i dont make a point of writing it down as a task for myself because making calls gives me anxiety. yeah.

also i sat here and took this assessment and wrote all of this instead of working on my 2000 word midterm paper due next tuesday for which i have exactly one sentence written. listen, procrastination is a universal trait, but i just felt like it was relevant.

[fictionfixations]

oc-insert

resigned to never writing multi-chaptered and naruto fics because 1. procrastination. 2. id say id need to watch naruto first to write anything about it, even if ive read an absurd amount of time travel fics, yknow?

so. uh. here. this is old. i dont need these notes anymore. so im dumping them here.

-----------------------------

the oc test: insert into naruto

no but seriously theres a stupidly large amount of more oc-inserts in naruto then any other fandom ive seen and that might be because of dreaming of sunshine (finally succumbed and read it. its not bad but my first instinct is 1. not to read first person. 2. not to read female pov. but there was a really good naruto x hp crossover with female harry. and i just had to bite the bullet at that point aghh.) i mean. im not trying to be sexist with it. but i mean. ive read way too many male/nonbinary povs that im just used to it. two, i got horribly dysphoric over she/her, although its better now (i was just in a really bad place mentally) but since i avoided it, now i avoid it out of habit and sometimes f/m relationships make me cringe. and thats probably because ive always seen the really bad ones portrayed which whoops

anyway reinen!! my beloved oc who ive only written once (in khr) which is a crime and i should write more. he/they pronouns my precious …they're probably eccentric enough that they'd belong to a clan. their appearance, he usually has his eyes closed like ranpo from bsd (but can still see), and sometimes opens their eyes in moments of shock or seriousness or something something (they have golden eyes)

also they have white hair.

they're portrayed with tan skin cause i have tan skin (reinen was originally meant to be like an oc for me the creator instead of making it look like me like i had before. but then it became something entirely different lmfao. reinens not an author insert because they're nothing like me hehe) but i honestly dont care what color skin they have? i dont even mention appearances half the time cause i always forget to write it

naruto-sasuke-reinen

i know sakura gets bashed on a lot (and i adore bamf sakura) and seen as the weak link or 'civilian' but hgiuf

or maybe. reinens a hatake (Hatake Rei). younger then kakashi but maybe as a assistant sensei for team 7???

naruto vocal tics (is tics the right word?)

Kakashi: maa maa (well well)

Naruto: Dattebayo! (Y'know! or Believe it!)

Kushina: Dattebane? (Yeah?)

Sasuke: hnn. (hnn.)

I'm realizing I write 'yo' a lot as a greeting

alternatively is ciao, which might be because they're first introduced in khr. as someone with mafia ties. italian. yknow.

so now i just. kind of connect reinen with italian.. ;-;

reinen being more lean and flexible? graceful in a sense. i always think of them as a performer.

although. really good at T&I? well it's less torture and more on the interrogation aspect. leaning more towards.. kunoichi aspects. i think. (they're androgynous. think epel felmier from twisted wonderland because its pretty close in appearance actually) seduction probably. (where kakashi hides his appearance, reinen flaunts it probably [kakashi pointy hair, reinen curled hair]) scarily good at acting

conflict conflict like: kakashi: you shouldve been their sensei. reinen: no-- what?? kakashi: you're better. reinen: that's not… listen. they need you. i can help them on other aspects, but im not nearly as good at being on the frontlines. your team to me looks like they'll be a bunch of heavy hitters, and i cant do that. im not good at rushing in, that's not my fighting style. i get that you feel like you're broken, that you feel like you're going to ruin them. but listen. If you don't believe me on anything else, believe me on this. It's not about you. It's about your kids. So what if you 'don't deserve them' or 'you'll get them killed'? They don't have anyone else to turn to! And you know I'm busy with other responsibilities. I can't take over your job as sensei, because that's not my job. You were assigned that job and you better do it, or I swear Kakashi. What are you going to do when they die because you didn't bother to train them properly? 'You don't know how'? You have so many people you have connections to that would be willing to help if you just ask! I know Gai's had a team for a year, he'd be overjoyed to help. Or you could at least pull a few favors, I know you have a bunch of those to get other people to train them, but you can't just leave them in the deep end. That's the thing about responsibility over people. You don't do something, other people suffer. So get it together. you don't need to be perfect

Dammit, Kakashi, those kids love you already. They adore you! They don't need you to be the best, they just need you to be there. Okay? And. Maybe this is cruel. But you're not dead. They don't need you anymore. You know who does? The living people around you. That are breathing and moving. I get that maybe you won't ever feel over it, not really, but you can't prioritize them over the living. I think you should be there more often, okay? Let them know that you're first priority will always be them, not whatever they think you're doing while you're running late and still not appearing. Let them know they can trust you to be there for them. And if you can't, let them know. Indra knows those kids need an adult in their life they can trust.

(i cant find any naruto swears in place of stuff. in some uchiha-centered fics they use like Amaterasu! or Indra, i think, although im not sure how reinen would know it. but shut up i dont know of a person and i dont think god is valid here. …that is an oddly funny part. 'i don't think god is valid here'. hehehe..)

They need someone in their corner. You can be that person. Sakura has civilian parents, they wouldn't be able to understand her and she'd have no one to vent to. Maybe she'll go to you or me, we can't force her, but what we can do is make it clear she has an option. That she doesn't have to keep it inside, and that we have a lending ear for her. I can't be that alone because I won't always be free for them. I'm not their sensei, I can't excuse myself from work for them, but you can. I can't do it all for you.

Naruto has never actually had someone who'd be there for him, who'd listen, and maybe even do anything for him. I don't think he even knows it's a thing that people usually do for those they care about! Sure, there's Iruka-san but he also has responsibilities over other children, and honestly probably overworked.

The Sandaime? The hokage is meant to be unbiased.

He can't just take a break to care about some orphan nobody likes. He doesn't even stop by that often, no matter how much he probably wants to. Naruto can't rely on him to be on his side all the time.

You can be there.

Sasuke's lost in grief and anger. He hasn't had anyone to talk it through, to actually move past it. Everyone had been too worried about catching a rogue jounin, not about how traumatized a harmless little kid might've been.

…

he was left with the consequences alone. you know how that feels. remember? good ol dad was too disgraced, nobody wanted to clean the compound. you had to do it. scrubbing it off the floors.

wanna bet sasuke had to do the same? or maybe there were cleaners, but whose to say they didn't miss a spot or two? is it any better, in a place that was once filled with people, to be entirely empty? we moved for a reason sasuke deserves the same.

help him. i was too young, you did all the work then in finding somewhere else. if not opening up our home to him, then you could at least help him in the process. make it easier.

------------

wow thats long

[baekhvuns]

hey sunbae ik im probably sending this in a bad timing but i genuinely feel like the dumbest person in the world due to my grades in uni and i know this is not accurate ive been in constant psicological treatment since i was like 9 but i keep feeling i have no strenght or intelligence to do things what do you and baekhvuns villagers suggest i really dn what to do atp

-hoobae anon

no no it’s not!! sorry i went on a whole tangent on here bc this is quite similar to what i used to feel 😭 tho anyone! pls feel free to add on!!!

ooooooo okay this was me in my first year in uni, absolute rock bottom as in like academic probation and all </3 but id say from what i did- this actually sounds so stupid but id stumble upon those ‘inspo reels’ that would show like A+‘s and 100%’s which! made me want to replicate it and it actually works, like i shit u not i kept seeing them and id say to myself “damn ok fine lemme do that to”

find the inspiration to get thru your classes— again sounds like an absolute dumb thing to say but those reels with “idk why im doing this” to “my daughter is a ____” is one thing that riled me up. i was self talking and being “if this person can, why can’t i? what’s stopping me?” instead of being scared as fuck, id be looking forward to it (like looking up the syllabus or past course outlines from previous years + past assignments to get a knowledge of how things are meant to be done and what the specific teacher likes)

i think ur probably experiencing overwhelming of work in which case, literally for a day or two, do not think about your uni. just relax, put a movie on, be lazy, get good sleep and stop questioning yourself or blaming yourself AND then when u get back to studying— physically write things u have to do, it’ll make you want to do the things more !!

visualize yourself getting those grades and those honours, do literally anything for that grade, extra help, ask the teacher, email the TA’s, go to your academic advisors, bother + communicate the hell out of them (bc u paid shit ton so might as well get good out of it) + try to understand what ur studying style is, mine is hands on tho unfort i didn’t realize that until later— if u have readings given to u, print them out and highlight, write or draw over them !!!

also take a time limited approach in which you schedule your tasks, ask if “can i get this done in 2 hrs? or how much can i get done in 2hrs?” (set timers or do the methods of 2 hour study, 1hour break for walking around, eating and more) divide it into sections and get on with it, yes procrastination will be present, u will question everything but it’ll also motivate you to do better, it’ll make you feel as if your excited to study and not have it as a burden on u !!!

[lesbicosmos]

bored and procrastinating being productive so im doing this instead‼️

1. how did you find out about merlin?

either during or just after lockdown one of my friends had started watching it and was on about s2 and told me id like it. i started it and then binged it too far and she finished it like at least a month after i did

2. do you have a ship? if so, when did you start shipping them?

i have more ships for this show than any other show ever icl everyone's so in love with everyone else. like most people i was shipping merthur from the very start and also started shipping morgana and gwen at like episode 3. they're still my main two but i love mergana, mergwaine, mercelot, gwencelot, pergwaine and freylin (even tho they were only in one ep they were so sweet😭) and literally all the other main ones. this show turned me into a multishipper istg

3. what's your favourite episode/two parter?

much like 90% of the fandom, a servant of two masters is my favourite episode ever. but also some of my favs are the poisoned chalice, the moment of truth, the lady of the lake, goblin's gold, the sword in the stone two parter and also diamond of the day, no matter how much i sob every time

4. what's your favourite scene?

oh god too many. merlin trying to kill arthur and failing and gwen thwacking him round the head with a jug is up there icl. any scene in the early seasons where arthur and morgana are being so siblings. the entire section of the s4 finale where arthur's enchanted. the magic reveal. there are so many i can't list them all

5. what's your favourite quote or interaction?

it's probably gotta be "i don't want you to change. i want you to always be you." from the finale i think. but so many others - "you're the only friend i have and i couldn't bear to lose you", "he is your destiny and he is your doom"/"she is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love", also every time merlin is sarcastic and anything dragoon ever says ever.

6. how do you feel about the ending?

gay fan brain is screaming in agony but vaguely more stable brain thinks its good. nowhere near perfect, i think it was too fast and there needed to be more time where arthur knew about merlin's magic and we saw him dealing with the mental battle. but on the whole i think it was pretty good, the performances in it are amazing and it still makes me sob every single time. i do also love the open ending with the time jump!! it's like they gifted us fic bases on a silver platter

7. what's your favourite headcanon in merlin?

i love the idea that there were characters who knew about merlin's magic but never said anything, especially gwen and gwaine because you cannot tell me those two didn't already know. in fics i love when arthur knows and has been struggling with figuring out what to do for a while but in canon i think he was just too dumb lmao

i also love the headcanon (which is basically canon let's be real) that basically all of the servants and guards and anyone who ever met merlin and arthur just Know abt them and treat merlin like arthur's mistress

8. do you have a favourite merlin fic?

again too many i can't choose one

it's like The merlin fic rec but i LOVE and like the cycle of the year we begin again by katherynefromphilly

there are three i read the other day that i'm just in love with, all magic reveal fics and all by the same author. i love the writing style and characterisation so much 😭 in some sad way i already knew, something immortal and revelations by loser_angel

a sweet magic reveal rewrite of the end of the poisoned chalice - what most likely probably actually happened by TrebleMaker07 (can you tell ive been binge reading magic reveal fics recently)

gotta get a crack fic in here, this one's the knights playing gwen or merlin abt things they've heard arthur say - the servant or the wife? by diabeetus

and it wouldnt be a sarah fic rec list without the sapphics, so here's a really sweet morgwen au one i love, a little piece of home by doylefan22

this just turned into me recommending a bunch of my bookmarks but i love merlin fic writers so much ur all amazing

9. what is your personal headcanon for post-s5

if we're saying canon happens here, im a big fan of arthur returns from avalon for merlin. not for the country or for some big thing, but for merlin when his need is greatest because he's the only thing left of arthur's albion

if we're ignoring the canon ending, i love the idea that arthur lifts the magic ban and makes merlin court sorcerer. it's a common one but i can't help but love a fix it where everyone's happy 🤷‍♀️ i think gwen would know about arthur's Feelings for merlin and vice versa and would be fine with it, with either her and arthur staying together as a marriage of convenience or they're poly, either way i just need those three ruling camelot together

10. what's your favourite character?

morgana. partially because it's katie mcgrath and im very in love with her but also bc i just generally love mildly fucked up female characters. i can't say i entirely love what the writers did with her storyline in later seasons but she's so interesting as a character and she deserved so much better and i just wanna give her a hug

close second being merlin himself because who doesnt love him😭 i also just wanna give him a hug. every character in this show needs a hug wtf

Merlin questions to do when you’re bored

1. How did you find out about merlin?

2. Do you have a ship? If so, when did you start shipping them?

3. What’s your favorite episode/two-parter?

4. What’s your favorite scene?

5. What’s your favorite quote/interaction? (ex | merlin: “how long have you been training to be a prat, my lord?” | arthur: “i love poetry” merlin: 😀)

6. How do you feel about the ending? 😉

7. What’s your favorite headcanon in merlin?

8. Do you have a favorite merlin fic? Please share 😍

9. What is your personal head-canon after s5? (Ex: arthur dies and merlin waits for 1500 years | the roundtable lives | merlin becomes court-sorcerer)

10. What’s your favorite character?

That’s all!! Tell me if you want more!! Answer in the reblogs!! Or comment!! Or anywhere!!

[orcelito]

aw fuck i just remembered akira’s birthday in discacc passed a few days ago

im a sham of a writer 

[desichameleon]

Hey I just wanted to let you know that I really love your stuff and was wondering if you could write one for me. I love Camilo so much and wanted a fic that I could relate to (im 15 btw). I am tall, curvey,and self conscious and I love to craft. I really want an angst fic where we break up and than get back together when we realize how much we love each other.

If you can't, that's fine, I just thought I would ask.

You do great things!

ofc darling ! i struggled quite a bit since ive never wrote angst before but im procrastinating from doing my english essay

i love you

pairings : camilo x fem!reader

request : yes / no

warnings : angst kinda?, break ups, crying, insecurities, spanish errors, english errors, i think thats it !

summary : (y/n) feels as if she’s holding the love of her life back, how else can she solve the problem other than break his and her own heart.

a / n : sorry for so many time skips and the ending i literally couldn’t be arsed to write in between days and couldn’t find a good ending

As you walked the streets of the Encanto you noticed how the other girls looked different to you, how they were shorter and walked with so much more confidence and grace. You also noticed the way they’d look at your Camilo, how they’d flirt with your Camilo, they seemed so unbothered that he was taken. It made you wonder... were you even good enough for him ? 

In Camilo’s eyes yes.

But in your own ? no.

that’s when problems started, you started doubting yourself more and more each day and Camilo noticed this and tried to reach out and ask what’s wrong but you always seemed to push him away. The truth was you were doing it on purpose thinking he’d be much happier with one of the other girls, the girls who could give him some of their confidence instead of him always having to give them confidence.

 Camilo never minded you having a lack of confidence, he actually made it his life mission to make you feel even a little bit better about yourself. He loved your curves the you’d sway your hips when dancing, he loved the way you were just an inch or two taller than him and the little girts you’d make for him randomly. 

- 

One morning Camilo decided he would go and give you a surprise visit and find out what’s wrong, unfortunately for him that was the same time you decided you would break up with him. Camilo shoved the last few spoonful's of changua into his mouth before heading off to find you. A the boy arrived at your house he saw the door open and you step out. Perfect timing, or so he thought. 

“¡Amor! ¿Cómo estás?” Camilo asked as he approached you, you quietly winced at the cheeriness in his voice knowing it’d all be gone in just a few minutes “Soy bueno Camilo, ¿cómo estás?” you replied in a deadpan tone. Camilo was confused at your coldness but just thought you had had a rough morning, “Soy bueno mi vida, are you sure you’re okay though?” worry was laced in his voice at the last part.

 “actually no... I wanted to talk to you” “about what mi vida?” he asked raising an eyebrow, smile slightly faltering. “Camilo there’s...” you heaved a sigh as you hold back a tidal waves of tears “I-I think we should... break up.” you finished the last bit in a rush which made Camilo blink at you confused before it soaked in... “why (y/n/n)? Is it s-something I did? Do you want to ta-” you cut him off, “no. Camilo I just think its best for... the both of us.” and with that you left, you hated to do that you really did but it was for the best, for both of you. Camilo was left stunned, rooted to the ground, tears silently falling down his face as he watched you walk away. 

-

Its been a few weeks since you had broken up and the whole town seemed to have dimmed, at least for the two of you it seemed like. Both of you barley leaving your rooms, both of you crying late into the night wishing for the other back. You kept telling yourself it was a mistake, Camilo’s happier now he’s found someone good enough for him.

  Someone who wasn’t you. But you were wrong, very very wrong. Camilo was miserable without you in his eye’s there was no one better than you, you were his vida and now, not even his tía Julieta’s cooking could make the pain go away. There was a soft knock at his door “Camilo I have your breakfast, its your favourite, bandeja paisa” he heard his sisters soft voice from the other side of the door, “not right now Dolores” he mumbled and turned to face the wall. Just incase she would walk in and see him crying, he hated anyone seeing him cry. 

-

“(y/n), querido please come out. We’re worried, you haven’t seen the sun is days think about your vitamin D!” your parents called for you but you never came. How could you? You didn’t have the energy to do anything but cry, cry about Camilo. “no mamá, solo déjame en paz por favor” “but Mirabel is here!”. With that you quickly jumped out of bed, opened the door enough to pull Mira in and shut it on your poor mamas face (not without opening it again to hug her and apologise). 

Before you could even turn around Mirabel burst out “why did you and Camilo break up? ¡¿Has perdido la cabeza?! You two were perfect for each other! Whats wro-” you cut her off abruptly, “Mira I-” you sighed and sat down on your bed Mirabel following you. “I just think he deserves better, you know? I was holding him back an-” “no you weren’t.” “yes I was” Mirabel laughed as you looked at her slightly hurt. 

“oh. My. Gosh (y/n) ¿Estás demente? Camilo was at his best with you.” you were surprised to hear that, was he really at his best with you? Getting up you go over to your drawers where inside was a small necklace you had made for Camilo, well before you decided to break the poor boys heart. It had small pale yellow and white beads that looked like pearls and on the bottom was a small heart pendent, “Mira I swear to God you better be serious” you said meeting her eyes, she nodded. You’re mind was set the, you were getting your Cami back.

- 

After cleaning yourself up and Mirabel insisting you that you shouldn’t wear makeup which led to a small quarrel you were off to win the shape-shifters heart back with the necklace, a basket full of empanadas and some tissues just in case. 

As you walked up to Casita the houses shutters opened and closed as if it was waving at you in which you waved back, as you got to the door before you could even knock Dolores opened the door smiling at you, “hola (y/n), are you here to see Camilo?” she said in her slightly hushed voice “yeah” you laughed awkwardly as she let you in and walked away.

 You quickly made your way up the stairs and towards Camilo’s room, “here goes nothing” you murmured to yourself as you knocked on the door glowing door. There was no response for a few minutes before a slightly horse voice said “mama please, vete.”

 “C-Cami its me, (y/n)” you had whispered shakily slowly regretting coming here. What if he doesn’t love you anymore? What if he hates you? ¡Dios mío! Before you could run away the door opened and you were pulled into the arms of a very red and tear stained Camilo, you dropped everything you were holding and hugged him back letting tears slip down your face.

 “lo siento, lo siento” you sobbed into his shoulder as he rubbed your back trying to hold back his own tears, “mi vida” he said shakily not letting go of you “why did you leave me? ¿Te lastimé?” the Madrigal said as he pulled away to look you in the eye. You looked at him, glossy eyes and red cheeks “because I thought I was holing you back amor...” you said, voice cracking as Camilo sighed and pulled you back in “you never held me back. 

You pushed he forward to be better (y/n), I love you” sure now wasn’t the time but Camilo felt that he had to let you know even if you didn’t want to get back together. You let out small gasp, when you heard him say those three words. I love you. Should you say it back? Heck yes! “I love you too” you smiled at him.

[castee-yel]

Its 2021, Happy New Years everyone!

I would like to take a moment to thank everyone on here for being so immensely supportive of my blog restart and of course all the support towards my art/content, it truly means a lot. I appreciate all the content you guys have put out there throughout this year making this ending a little easier for us.

This is the first year without supernatural, no upcoming episodes, no upcoming promos, nothing, but I do not believe this fandom will die due to it, we've built such a kind and funny community throughout the years and the show "ending" wont be the end for us. In fact for a lot of us it wont be ending until another 6 years on the Supernatural Thursdays server, where we've been airing an episode a week (next ep is s01ep7, theres also a catchup day for new folks)

What I'm saying is, we got through one of the worst years most of us have lived through and made it easier with fanfiction, art, shitposts, our favourite characters and i'm glad we did.

heres to some of my favourite mutuals on this hellsite (appreciative):

@rambleoncas ely you're one of the dumbest (affectionate) kindest n sweetest people i know on here, thanks for consistently making me cackle at my own dumbassery.

@antifacas thanks for making me laugh with practically every one of your posts, legend.

@heller-jensen props to you for putting your creativity on my dash constantly and blessing my feed, i look forward to seeing more of your art this year, and ofc the occasional cackle at something you say.

@castyel thank you eSPECIALLY for creating gifsets so beautiful i stare at them for days on end and go back to them when feeling sad bc they are comforting to look at.

@bowie-boy super thanks to you for makinb me laugh every time you post, and also putting good content on my feed, that i appreciate loads.

@lawboy-stanford-edu MEGA THANK YOU because you have always been so immensely kind and supportive towards me and i could not thank you enough for it <3

@mirrorsball favourite heller swiftie out there, always one of my favourite people to talk to ily.

@acklesy kels, every single take you've made about spn has unlocked an idea for a film visual in my head which makes you probably one of the people that inspire me the most?? unreal.

@samuelswinchester thanks for being so supportive of my stuff and also always being kind to me, never stop creating the content you make 🥺

@friedchickenangelwings ANOTHER ONE of my favourite blogs to look at when bored/sad, idk what it is but your sense of comedy is perfectly complimentary to mine so i love every post you've ever made.....👀

@joharvele definitely one of my favourite 3 writers here, all i ever do is turn to your work instead of do my actual work. heres to you hopefully giving me more opportunities to procrastinate by indulging in your splendid written work.

more people/mutuals i'd like to thank for their content and also the content theyve intoduced me to:

@mishha @casnaturals @casisalamp @cas-the-alien @acabdean @abracakillme @wonder @gaydurden @tearsofgrace @yoursmokesignals @idiotsintheimpala @otto-wood-protection-squad @oyuumachi @plantdadcas @profoundsbond @splendidcas @supergaycas @dean-the-trickster @dovestiel @doctorprofessorsong @fluffiestlou @finallydeancas @jacks-word-of-the-day (i love ur blog idea sm) @jensen-frackles @b-spn @jenderoftheday (i adore your EVERY post, that is all)

[please do not kill me if i missed your name, ive been dealing with chronic fatigue for a while now and got a bit tired writing this and scared ive forgotten someone💀]