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jennycalendar · 3 years ago

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ok you know what i think it’s actually really vital that i talk a little bit about tea time. buckle up kiddos.

first off, a brief and relatively spoiler-free summary: the premise of the issue is very simple. the kiddos (aged up, if willow’s mention of being engaged is any indication) are hanging out in the library to help giles with research, swapping stories about what it would be like were giles a vampire. each of them, save giles, gets a chance to tell a detailed story -- xander tells two! -- and each story plays out in a way that says a lot about the scooby that’s telling it AND the way they view giles.

obviously this is a VERY character-driven issue, and it’s a really really interesting look at giles and how he is perceived as well! shit like that is my bread and butter, so this has honestly become one of my favorite things that boom has put out -- possibly my ACTUAL top favorite issue if we’re being real here.

below the cut is a spoilery dissection of every story told -- a literal summary of Every Single Thing that happens in this issue, as well as what it has to say about the scoobies and their perception of giles, so definitely keep that in mind.

as can be seen in the preview, xander’s first story is about giles rising from the grave as an ineffectual british caricature, who is easily defeated by smoldering, sexy xander harris (and xander in turn walks off with buffy and willow draped all over him, cooing about how amazing he is). it’s more of an intro to the premise than anything, but it still sets the tone pretty clearly wrt how xander handles this situation: there’s some laughter and levity, and he’s center stage. obviously a lot can be said about xander’s self-esteem issues and how he overcompensates by casting himself as the main protagonist both in canon and here. however, i wanna save my more in-depth xander analysis for his second, longer, story, so i’ll stop myself there.

willow immediately responds with skepticism: she’s of the mind that giles would be an incredibly serious big-bad level threat. the tale she spins involves giles as a dangerous vampire cleric with access to a cryptic altar, killing xander almost immediately and slaughtering buffy as a sacrifice to create eternal night. her view of giles is more clinical than anything -- and, i would argue, the most perceptive and realistic from a threat standpoint. the guy knows a fuckton of magic and he is incredibly well-read and powerful. he’d have some kind of terrifying master plan. where xander goes for comedy, willow goes straight for logistics, already looking at the battle like it’s a battle rather than laughs aplenty.

xander and buffy have a bone to pick with willow’s story (xander is indignant that he’s immediately and brutally killed, buffy is of the mind that she would easily defeat giles in hand-to-hand combat even if he IS a vampire), so (after one more teasing story where buffy lives and xander dies) willow gracefully alters her narrative to reflect her friends’ objections: after a dramatic tussle, xander helps willow and buffy unceremoniously stakes giles in the heart. still pretty straightforward and plausible. willow sees vamp giles primarily as a threat -- one not easily neutralized. one who could easily wipe them out.

buffy, about to tell her story, is interrupted by xander, who “had an even better idea!” the web he weaves is this time purported as realistic and entertaining: while partying at the bronze, buffy and co. are interrupted by a bunch of balding, greying vampires in curlers and bathrobes, led, of course, by giles -- who is wearing a hair bonnet and disapprovingly informing the bouncers how late it is at eight PM. a knockdown brawl breaks out at the bronze -- old people feeding on and decimating the young -- and culminates in giles and the geezers taking over the band to sing “some terrible song” that’s “probably something really old and bad!” the rest of the story descends into b-movie chaos, with buffy throwing a broken guitar neck up at the stage lights to send the whole thing crashing down onto vampire giles and his vampire old person band. it’s categorically absurd.

the thing that really sticks with me about this story is how dumb it is. xander’s take on giles is not even slightly serious and wholly underestimates him. fandom at large talks a lot about how giles dropped the ball with xander, but i think tea time explores an easily overlooked factor: xander constantly, consistently underestimates giles. in canon, xander’s view of giles is not often challenged: to him, giles is a bumbling, british librarian who regularly gets his ass handed to him by vamps and demons and the like. certainly part of his story’s intent is about laughingly entertaining his gal pals, but there’s a very real and consistent thread involving giles being hilariously nonthreatening.

giles, taking umbrage at this particular tale, calls out both xander and willow: xander’s story, in giles’s opinion, emasculates vamp giles and turns him into a ridiculous caricature -- and willow’s story, though much more flattering, lacks the kind of imagination that vamp giles would clearly have. he then offers a suggestion of his own. it’s worth mentioning here that both xander’s and willow’s stories get gorgeous multiple-page spreads depicting the vampy action, but giles’s is a simple and chilling little thing: this is his vampire story. this meeting, called to ostensibly “research” a vampire altar, is really an excuse to get the scoobies to do his dirty work and find the thing for him. they’re tired and silly because the tea and donuts he’s given them are drugged, and their library location is to keep them out of daylight. he laughs it off when he sees they’re bothered, and the meeting is then adjourned when willow finally finds what they’re all looking for.

buffy’s left her phone in the library, so she doubles back, and accidentally wakes up a dozing giles. just as she’s about to leave, he inquires, casually, “...you never did tell your version of the story.”

and good god here is where it gets interesting.

see, buffy’s take is simple: she’s fighting giles in a cemetery, she’s given the chance to kill him, and she is entirely unable to do it. they share a tearful embrace as she sobs about the unfairness of it all -- “you’re giles! and you’ll always be! ...how will i do this without you? without your guidance?” and as the sun is rising, giles turns her into a vampire, with no resistance whatsoever from buffy. the next handful of pages depict bloody, indulgent violence on the parts of giles and buffy, the two of them cuddled up together as they watch the world burn.

buffy’s tale is the most emotive, the most loving, which makes me so damn soft! i love this girl so much! she is unable to even joke about giles as a foe to be taken down -- he is her watcher. he is her friend. she loves him endlessly and that does not change when he’s a vampire. vamp giles as she portrays him is gentle and understanding, holding her as she cries, because he knows that they’re connected. it’s easily my favorite part of this whole issue.

notably, there is a definite buffy/giles bend that the comic itself tries to contradict. the art is sensual in nature -- vamp buffy all dolled up in a way somewhat evocative of drusilla, giles tenderly caressing her face as he waits for her to wake up. ��watcher and slayer connected forever” being the quote chosen to describe the situation. i think it’s kind of what naturally happens in a vamp giles sitch, especially if he turns buffy -- the childe/sire bond is incredibly sexual in nature, especially in canon, and a lot of frustrating human sentiment gets translated into something sexual as well. sex is a big BIG part of the relationships between vampires we see in canon; it would make a lot of sense for that to hold true for buffy and giles.

the comic is reticent about Going There, which i can understand -- though buffy is decisively aged up in this issue (willow mentions being engaged to a woman, later revealed to be tara), the buffy/giles bond is always seen through a father/daughter lens in canon. i do think it’s also important to always recognize how desperately giles wishes to escape the label of father in reference to buffy, pretty much entirely because there is no way to parent a child soldier who you’re also training, but that’s a whole other kettle of fish. point is, buffy very pointedly refers to vamp giles as her father not once, but twice -- once as a human, once as a vampire herself. it’s a very clear attempt, imo, to un-sexualize the vampy experience. the reason it doesn’t totally work, at least for me, is the fact that -- like i said -- the childe/sire bond is VERY sexual (spike and dru, angel and darla, angel and dru) and it seems just totally implausible that vamp buffy/vamp giles (two people who, as human were both VERY repressed) would chastely remain within the socially acceptable version of their relationship.

i can definitely understand why they did their best to blur that line, though. the idea of buffy and giles being romantically involved as vampires is 1) Kind Of A Lot and 2) not exactly the target demographic that i think this comic is going for. but the subtext is there, to the point where the issue itself has to actively obfuscate it, which i think is .... so interesting? especially as a counterpoint to the way i often see buffy/giles in fandom, wherein the father/daughter subtext in canon is at times actively obfuscated in fic in an attempt to push a preferred reading.

the ending i particularly enjoyed: after buffy leaves, it is lightly and ambiguously implied that giles might really be a vampire. works GREAT as a standalone, imo, and the end is like the cherry on top. it’s a really REALLY interesting issue and i highly recommend it for any giles fan.

#meta #btvs comics #buffy and giles #''a little bit'' they say. and write a full fucking essay #anyway i love this issue it's my prized possession i am dying for at least one (1) person to read this insane summary and talk to me abt it

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wintervvidow · 4 years ago

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apricity pt. two

apricity - the warmth of the sun in winter

warnings: angst, blood, violence,

pairing: bucky barnes x female oc

word count: 2,956

A/N: part two is here! I did unintentionally rush through this chapter because I am so excited to start the civil war segment of this story. feedback is welcomed, let me know how you are liking it! thank you for reading!

MASTERLIST

Bucky’s cheek stung after the third slap from Pierce, the flesh bright red and warm to the touch. He continued fighting his restraints as he had been for the past hour. He had just been wiped, HYDRA needed to start fresh. Sweat trickled from his hairline to his jugular as he yanked and squirmed in the chair.

Alexander lost his patience an hour ago, Bucky hadn’t stopped talking about the girl on the bridge, “She doesn’t love you! If she did, she would have come back for you. We’re trying to correct the world, and we need you to do that. You want to be useful, don’t you?”

Bucky stared ahead emotionless, ignoring Pierce’s words. She loved him. Her eyes told him so, the look on her face from the bridge continued to haunt him even after being reprogrammed. He knew her. She was good. She was home.

A hand came down against Bucky's face again, harder than the last, “You are an asset. She is what we are fighting against. The world deserves freedom and that is what HYDRA is doing. You don’t do your part and I can’t do mine.”

Bucky softly murmured, voice raw from screaming, “But I knew her.”

Alexander clenched his fist as he stood from his chair placed in front of Bucky, “Wipe him again.”

Soon the air was filled with Bucky’s screams again, torturous and raw. Brock Rumlow looked on in silence, taking in the sight before him. This, he could work with.

The team consisting of Florence, Steve, Natasha, Sam, Maria, and Fury were littered throughout the vacant underground room, lights dim and the air heavy with stale humidity. Steve and Sam stood while the remaining few were seated at a long conference table. Fury had documents scattered in front of him, Maria with a laptop, typing away intently.

Fury held an image of Pierce from the ’80s in his hand, “This man declined the Nobel Peace Prize. He said peace wasn’t an achievement, it was a responsibility.” Fury threw the picture onto the table, “See, it’s stuff like this that gives me trust issues.”

Natasha speaks from her chair next to her fellow redheaded friend, a solemn expression on her face, “We have to stop the launch.” Alexander was planning on using Project Insight, which consisted of three helicarriers that patrolled the Earth to eliminate threats, deployed after the Battle of New York, only this time it was being planned to be used as a way for HYDRA to eliminate any threats to themselves. The operation was now turned against them.

Fury looked at Natasha with an eyebrow raised, “I don’t think the Council’s accepting my calls anymore.” He flipped open a briefcase, revealing three data chips.

Behind Florence, Sam spoke with arms crossed tightly over his chest, “What’s that?”

Maria flipped her laptop around, showing the team a diagram of data, “Once the helicarriers reach 3,000 feet, they’ll triangulate with Insight satellites, becoming fully weaponized.”

“We need to breach those carriers and replace their targeting blades with our own.” Fury gestured to the case in front of him.

Maria flipped her laptop back around, “One or two won’t cut it. We need to link all three carriers for this to work because if even one of those ships remains operational, a whole lot of people are gonna die.” The entire team grimaced.

All eyes were on Fury as he spoke, “We have to assume everyone on those carriers is HYDRA. We have to get past them, insert these server blades. And maybe, just maybe we can salvage what’s left.”

Florence and Steve shared a look, Florence knew Steve wouldn’t let that happen, “We’re not salvaging anything. We’re not just taking down the carriers, Nick. We’re taking down S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Fury snapped back at Steve, “S.H.I.E.L.D. had nothing to do with this.”

“You gave me this mission, this is how it ends. S.H.I.E.L.D.’s been compromised. You said so yourself. HYDRA grew right under your nose and nobody noticed.” Steve’s face was set, his entire body taking on the posture of command.

Fury gestured around the room with his hands before setting them back on the table, “Why do you think we’re meeting in this cave? I noticed.”

Steve’s face remained cold, “How many paid the price before you did?” Florence read between the lines, she knew what he was asking and it felt like a punch to the gut.

Fury bowed his head as Florence looked away, “Look, I didn’t know about Barnes.” No one did.

Steve scoffed, “Even if you had, would you have told me? Or would you have compartmentalized that too? Like Florence.”

“Hey, she did what she had to. You did not go through what she did.” Florence looked to Fury with kindness in her tired eyes, silently thanking him.

Steve interrupted the tender moment, continuing his speech, “S.H.I.E.L.D., HYDRA, it all goes.”

“He’s right. It all has to go.” All eyes darted to Maria, a silent understanding that Steve was right. This was the beginning of the end.

Fury looks around, eyes landing on Sam, “Don’t look at me.” Sam nods his head to Steve, “I do what he does, just slower.”

Steve stood at the head of the table, staring at Fury as he leaned back in his chair, “Looks like you’re giving the orders now, Captain.”

The team was given their tasks, parting their separate ways before the mission.

Florence found Steve outside, standing on the bridge lost in thought.

Florence sided up next to him, “Hey, I know you probably hate me right now, but-”

Steve cut her off, turning to face her, “I don’t hate you. I don’t. I’m just struggling to wrap my head around the fact that he’s been alive this entire time and you haven’t told one person. Not even me.”

“Steve, I tried. After I ran, I tried to go back for him but he wouldn’t let me; told me to run and to never come back for him. So I had to go into hiding. Seventeen years Steve. It’s not like I could walk into a government building and tell them without HYDRA catching wind. Hell, I could have been walking straight back into HYDRA. You have to understand that everything I’ve done has been to protect him. Everything.” By the end of the redheads’ speech, she was choking back tears, hands trembling at her sides. She bit her lip to quell the emotions running through her.

Steve placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, “I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

Silence fell over the two friends as both reminisced on the past, staring off into space.

Flashback:

Florence climbed the stairs behind Bucky and Steve to Steve’s family home. The mood was somber, Florence’s black funeral dress grazing her ankles as she stepped up the last step, standing next to Bucky.

“We looked for you after. My folks wanted to give you a ride to the cemetery.” Bucky’s tone was soft as he spoke to the heartbroken Steve.

“I know. Kinda wanted to be alone.” Steve stared at the ground as he spoke, never making eye contact with either Florence or Bucky.

Florence cocked her head to one side, gaze softly inquisitive as she looked at the small-statured man in front of her, “How was it?”

“It was okay. She’s next to dad.” The blonde’s tone was monotonous and quiet, understandably so.

Bucky shrugged his shoulders, “I was gonna ask-”

Steve cut him off as he reached his front door, hands fumbling in his pocket for the key, “I know what you’re gonna say, Buck, I just-”

“You can put the couch cushions on the floor, like when we were kids. It’ll be fun, all you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash.” Bucky reached down to move a brick, grabbing the key to the door and handing it to Steve, “Come on.”

Steve took the key, finally looking him in the eye, “Thank you, Buck. But I can get by on my own.”

Florence looked to Bucky, silently telling him to comfort their friend. Bucky nodded, speaking again, “The thing is, you don’t have to.” Bucky’s large hand clapped Steve on the shoulder, “Cuz me and Florence? We’re with you till the end of the line, pal.”

The moment was broken up by Sam, approaching the two old friends, “He’s gonna be there you know.”

“We know.” Both Steve and Florence were painfully aware of that fact.

“Look, whoever he used to be and the guy he is now, I don’t think he’s the kind you save. He’s the kind you stop.”

Steve looked to Sam, “I don’t know if I can do that.” Florence knew she couldn’t. Everything she has ever done, Bucky has always crossed her mind- how to help him, save him, protect him; always concerned about his well-being. And now she was forced to go against him.

“Well, he might not give you a choice. He doesn’t know either of you.” Sam twisted the knife with his last sentence, Florence and Steve grimacing at one another.

Steve spoke, looking at Florence for a last time then at Sam, “He will.” The blonde looked over the bridge, “Gear up. It’s time.”

The team changed into their gear and split up to where they were appointed: Natasha infiltrating a meeting with Alexander as a congresswoman with Fury as backup and releasing all HYDRA files, Maria preparing to order the attack to bring down the helicarriers, and Steve, Sam, and Florence to board the helicarrier to replace the targeting blades.

Sam called out to Steve as he walked away, "Wearing that?"

“No. If you’re gonna fight a war, you have to wear a uniform.”

Florence ran through the ship deck as fast as she could, doing her best to not get shot. Her earpiece kept her up to date, Natasha had just started releasing all of the files; her and Natasha’s secrets were now public along with the rest of HYDRA’s. Steve had already made it to the helicarrier, the redhead had gotten caught up with a HYDRA agent on the ground.

Florence was late to the party, Steve, and Bucky already furiously exchanging punches. She got to the top of the carrier as fast as she could with the help of Sam, her feet moving without thought. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Sam deploy his parachute after being kicked off by Bucky, now he was grounded.

Steve and Florence were on opposite ends of the carrier, Florence quickly making her way toward the two men.

Bucky threw Steve off of the top-level, Steve landing below with a thud, shield long gone in the Potomac beneath them.

Florence stared ahead, Bucky finally noticing her arrival. Both looked at the other in silence, gauging the situation at hand. His eyes were void of all emotion, this was not Bucky. The Soldier had a mission to kill her and Steve. Florence had a mission to keep Bucky alive, no matter the cost. If he was alive that meant there was hope to save him. You can’t save a dead man.

The silence was erupted by Florence, her mouth moving before her brain could stop, "Bucky, don't do this. You don't have to do this."

Tears welled up in her eyes unwillingly, the dam threatening to burst. Even if she knew deep down that he had been alive this entire time, a sliver of her always thought he was dead. Maybe her subconscious came up with that thought to protect herself, to make herself feel better about not being able to get him out. And she did try to get him out; she tried like hell. The first five years of her seventeen-year stint of being on the run was the worst. She was constantly moving locations, barely sleeping. And when she did sleep, she dreamt of Bucky- he was always screaming at her to go, save herself, and leave him behind. That was a detail that she would never tell Steve; if they even made it out alive of this situation. Steve wouldn’t understand, he was too stuck in his ways, he would have tried to get him out anyway. He would disregard any command in order to save Bucky even if the demand came straight from Bucky’s mouth. He would never truly understand why Florence did what she did. Maybe it was better that way.

He furrows his brow, lines etching themselves between his steel-blue eyes, "You're my mission."

A single breath is taken before he swings at her, metal arm glinting in the light as she dodges his punch, sweeping under his outstretched arm. She wasn't going to fight back. She couldn't.

Bucky turns violently, eyes hard, set on her. He lunges again as her weapon clatters to the ground of the helicarrier. Now Florence was defenseless. Although it's not like she was fighting back anyway. She'd let him kill her. If that kept him alive, she'd do it. It's not like he remembers her anyway, you can't mourn a person you don't remember.

She takes three steps back, her back colliding with the wall behind her as Bucky stalks forward. His breath fans across her face as he stands in front of her. She notices a stall in his motions, practically seeing his brain malfunction. His head was fighting with his heart.

A fist flies next to her head, Bucky purposely missing as he punches the wall again. His face twisted in pain, he was fighting himself. He couldn't do this. He knew her. His body knew her, pieces of memories played through his brain as he continued to punch the wall, a ring, her hand in his, dog tags being placed around her neck, all of it hurt. Florence was frozen in place as Bucky's fists continued flying next to her, "Go! You need to go!"

He remembered her.

Just as Steve ordered Maria to fire at the carrier, Bucky shoved Florence, causing her to tumble over the edge, joining Steve at the bottom of the carrier as it went up in flames. The carrier was under fire from all sides, jostling violently, causing Bucky to fall along with her. He landed away from Florence and Steve, being pinned under the debris.

Steve got to his feet, swaying as he stumbled over to Bucky who was struggling under the weight of the metal beam. Steve wedged the beam up, freeing Bucky. The girl remained on the ground, curling into a ball from the pain of the impact of the fall.

Florence rose to her feet as Steve told Bucky that he knew them. Bucky’s metal arm reeled back, punching Steve in the face as he screamed, “No I don’t!”

“Buck, we’ve known you your whole life.” Florence’s voice trembled as he hit Steve again, effectively knocking him to the ground.

Steve stood again, “Your name is James Buchanan Barnes.”

Bucky punched Steve in the face for a final time, the force knocking him off the carrier and into the river below. Florence scrambled to stand in front of Bucky, making him really look at her. To truly see her, to see what he was doing. Her face was bleeding, soot smudged across her forehead, sweat mixing with tears and blood flowing down her face.

“I’m not gonna fight you. I love you.” Florence’s body shook with sobs as Bucky tackled her to the ground.

His frame towered over hers, his body heaving as he spoke, “You’re my mission.” His fist flew next to her head, once, twice; never actually hitting her. Florence could see the struggle in his eyes. He was a broken man without a home.

“You don’t love me. You left me!” Bucky’s fist continued flying next to Florence’s head, the plexiglass cracking. Pierce’s words looped in his mind, she didn’t love him. She left him. She abandoned him. She was his mission.

Florence took a heaving breath in, “Yes I do, I do love you. I tried to get you out, I did, you wouldn’t let me, I tried, I-” Bucky interrupted her by pressing his flesh hand against her throat and applying pressure.

He leaned down, only inches between their faces as he applied more pressure around her throat and choking her. He grit his teeth as he choked her harder, brunette hair dangling in his face. This was it. This was Florence’s last chance, “It’s okay. It’s okay. I love you, it’s okay.” If these were the last words Bucky would ever hear from her, she was okay with that. She needed him to know that it was okay. He was doing what he had been forced to do, it wasn’t him. She needed him to know that she understood.

The hand from her throat disappeared, Bucky leaning back above her, staring at her with glassy eyes. Florence struggled for breath as she watched Bucky process her words. Debris fell around them, Bucky hovering over her to protect her from the falling particles. A large engine fell next to them, shattering the glass and sending Florence falling straight into the Potomac, Bucky hanging onto the carrier from a beam as he watched his lover fall into the water below.

Bucky dragged Steve out of the water with his metal arm while the other balanced Florence against his shoulder, ignoring the burning pain of his flesh arm as her head rested on his neck. He placed the two unconscious Avengers on the riverbank, taking one last look at them before he disappeared, becoming a ghost yet again.

FEEDBACK IS WELCOMED. IF YOU ENJOYED, PLEASE REBLOG!

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tatttletale · 3 years ago

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Moving On | Mystery Skulls Animated

In which Lewis isn't vengeful or corporeal. AU, I guess?

I wrote this tiny piece in an hour for an exam and I think it turned out okay?? So I'm just... leaving it here for angst...

The shop's doorbell rings and Arthur sits up from his place on the ground, ever attentive.

This is the fourth car in as many hours and yet he immediately agrees to fix it, promising its return at the same time tomorrow. He smiles and chats effortlessly as the customer fills out the form, hands over his keys and leaves again just as quickly, adding yet another project—another distraction—to the queue.

Arthur does not falter. Instead, the mechanic gulps water from a plastic bottle, signs agreement on the form and cycles around to the Toyota on the far side of the garage, delivered this morning with a crumpled bonnet. Before removing the engine, he decides to check underneath and stretches out on a creeper, pulling himself under the mangled car. I catch a glimpse of dark bruises under his eyes before he disappears.

I huff in frustration, glancing again at the front desk. A drained mug has been left on top of the paperwork, staining the service sheets underneath with coffee rings. Uncle Lance hasn't uttered a word to his nephew all week, which is extraordinary, considering how high the head mechanic's standards are. I can hear him in another room, barking orders at employees.

I walk to the Toyota and stand beside it. Arthur seems to notice me because he stops work and pushes himself out on the creeper.

"Arthur," I sigh. "You can't work all day. You need some sleep."

Irritated, he sighs, sits up and rubs his eyes.

He signs himself out early.

*****

When we get home, Arthur immediately disappears into his room, avoiding my violin stand in the hall. Our home is cozy like that, packed with knick knacks, with memories.

I don't follow him. It's three hours later when Vivi finally saunters up and knocks.

"Artie? You wanna come out for dinner? It's pizza night tonight."

Good on you, Vivi. That will bring him out.

"Gimme a minute," comes Arthur's strained voice.

He emerges twenty minutes later for dinner, eyes bloodshot. Dios mio, is he tired.

Arthur's quiet at the table. He looks sullen. Whenever Vivi speaks, he engages with her, smile taut and a little too wide. Fifteen minutes later the pizza boxes are empty and he goes back to his room. This time, I decide to peek.

When I open the door and look through, Arthur's sprawled on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Thick tear trails run down his face and his pillow is wet.

He doesn't seem to notice me as I enter, padding across the carpet to sit on the bed next to him. "Arthur, we love you," I tell him, resting a hand on his knee. "And we're worried about you. Please tell us what's wrong."

He doesn't respond. I sigh and remain, waiting for the silent tears to stop.

When he finally wipes them away, he doesn't talk to me. He rolls over and sets his alarm for 7:30am—that's the usual. His shift starts at 8:00.

He kicks off his shoes and flicks the lamp off. I leave then.

He doesn't even change into pyjamas.

****

Arthur drops the keys back into the customer's hand and flashes him a smile. The garage is now empty, all distractions gone.

Uncle Lance is about to speak to him, I can see it. The doorbell rings before he can open his mouth and we turn to find Mama walking in. Her lush skin looks like the night against mine. Her crimson curls starkly contrast my own unremarkable hair.

"Mrs Pepper," Arthur greets her, ever formal.

"Arthur, please, it's Camila," she smiles, like she does every time.

"Camila," Uncle Lance says, stepping forward. "'Scuse me fer askin', but what're yer here for? Yer car broke down too?"

"No," she assures him, throwing a wink at Arthur. "But I'm sure your nephew would have no trouble fixing it if it were."

"Tell me 'bout it," Lance grunts. "Artie here's been takin' half the damn cars that drive in!"

She smiles kindly at him. "You must be so proud of how hard he works. My Lewis used to cook for us all the time."

I smile at her, warm pride in my chest.

"Well, I came here to invite you two to dinner," Mama continues. "And Vivienne too, of course. Any friend of Lewis' is a friend of ours."

"Thank you, Mrs Pepper," Arthur says weakly. She gives him a light squeeze on the shoulder.

"Artie, why don't yer go home."

Arthur turns to Lance in surprise. "But my shift ends at five."

"And yer been workin' yer arse off," Lance retorts. "Yer needa rest sometime. 'Sides, I wanna have a talk with Camila. You go home now."

Arthur does what he's told. Thankfully.

*****

Tonight plays out the same as before. The same as every night.

After dinner I go back to his room to check on him. He's crying again.

"Oh, Artie," I sigh, but I leave him alone this time. Instead I take notice of the photos on the walls. All three of us, mucking around. The walls at the garage are bare.

It seems like hours before he quiets and kicks off his shoes. He sets his alarm to 6:00am, and I raise my eyebrows. He sleeps.

*****

The next morning he drags himself out of bed before the alarm, taking care to shut it off before it blares and wakes Vivi. He ambles to the kitchen and pours himself coffee, gulping it down and leaving through the front door. Concerned, I follow him out to the van, slipping into the passenger seat.

He ignores me, turning the key in the ignition and pulling out of the driveway. Down the road, he pulls up to the florist's and disappears inside. I frown. Arthur isn't a flowers guy—that's more my thing.

He reappears a few minutes later with roses—my favourite colour, too. He hops in and I breathe in the scent of the purple blooms as we cruise down the road, the town waking from slumber around us.

Finally we pull up to a tall iron fence, and he cuts the engine, grabbing the flowers and jumping out. I follow him tentatively into the cemetery—why here?

We weave through gravemarkers, past multiple rows, Arthur precise in his direction. Eventually, we stop by a black marble headstone, and I bend to read the inscription.

Here lies LEWIS PEPPER Beloved son, brother and friend.

1998—2019

It's been a year. Arthur sets the roses down and I see the tears. My heart sinks.

All those nights awake. . . the never-ending work. . . the fights. . . the tears. . .

Because of me?

I kneel in front of him. I know he can't see me, so I take his face into my hands. He seems to shudder.

"We love you," I tell him, sincere, and press my forehead to his. "And we want you to be happy."

He closes his eyes. "We love you," he echoes. "And I know you want me to be happy."

He sighs, and stands, walking away. I take one last sweet smell of the roses and follow, leaving them to wither. Some things are more important than rest.

Check out this story on: - Wattpad - FanFiction - Archive Of Our Own

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bourbonbees · 3 years ago

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Suptober Day 6- Cemetery Boys

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34336042

Rating- G Jack POV

Jack has discovered there are a great deal of things that he loves about being human, he loves eating cake, taking his dog for walks, and swimming, but there’s nothing he loves more than his family. His family is not conventional, he’s got three dads, one of which is an angel, but all of them love him unconditionally. It’s rocky at first with Dean but after some quality time spent listening to Zep and going fishing together, the grumpy hunter warms up to him. It also doesn’t hurt that Jack’s first dad, Castiel, is also Dean’s partner and therefore holds a lot of sway over him, whether he likes it or not. Sam, his third dad was the best! He’s the one that establishes family movie night, Jack’s favorite night of the week!

Sam lets Jack pick the movies pretty much every week, much to Dean’s dismay. This week Jack chooses Ghostbusters as his pick. It’s great, he especially loves the jokes and the Stay Puffed Marshmallow man. He isn’t sure where the writers did their research for the movie though, his experiences with ghosts contain a lot less whimsy and a lot more salting and burning. The movie is just wrapping up when it hits him, they don’t have a name, every great team of heroes has a name.

“Hey, why don’t we have a name?” Jack poses the question, looking to Dean for a response.

“Kid, how much candy have you had? Are you sugar crashing? Remember, me Dean, you Jack, that annoying guy over there, Sam, this adorable ray of sunshine, Castiel.” Dean is concerned, he feels Jack’s forehead and looks him over, his parental instincts kicking in.

“No like a team name! Like there’s The Avengers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, uh The Fellowship of the Ring.” Jack lists off, Sam sending him a proud smile at the last one.

“Jack, hunters don’t really do teams. We’re kinda solitary, it’s our nature.” Sam explains, causing Jack even further confusion as he looks around at his family. They do everything together, live together, celebrate wins together, spend holidays together, work together, is that not a team?

“We’re not a team? Isn’t a family a team?” Jack frowns, worrying that he’s misread a long series of social cues. He is prone to that sometimes, his brain working a bit differently from his dads, neurodivergent, that’s what Sam had called it.

“Jack, oh, of course we’re a team. But more than that, we’re family.” Cas swoops in, reaching over and patting Jack on the shoulder. Cas is always the gentlest of his dads, he gives really good hugs, and is the one Jack goes to on the days where being a human is too much to deal with.

“Would it make you feel better if we had a team name?” Dean offers, following Cas’ lead. Jack doesn’t miss when Cas sends Dean a small nod of approval. Dean has a different parenting approach, sometimes he’s a bit harder on Jack. Jack doesn’t like that but he understands that Dean is trying.

“Yeah, I was thinking Cemetery Boys!” Jack says right away, looking around the room expectantly. Sam chokes slightly on his beer while Cas smiles approvingly, Dean laughs softly, shaking his head at Jack.

“Well we do spend a disproportionate amount of time in cemeteries, so it makes sense to me.” Jack defends, his cheeks feeling hot, blushing, that’s what Sam had told him it was. Sometimes Jack hates being human, blushing is embarrassing and makes him feel a bit like a baby.

“Shouldn’t we be cemetery men?” Dean questions, raising a quizzical brow at Jack.

“Technically speaking, Jack and myself are neither male nor female. So, no.” Cas supplies, shrugging his shoulders at Dean and earning an eye roll. Jack doesn’t understand why his dads enjoy teasing each other so much, maybe annoying someone was another human way to express love?

“So, you’re telling me, I came out as bisexual for nothing because, I’m not really dating a man?” Dean blanches, gently smacking Cas on the shoulder. Hitting people is another love language Jack has learned, but not too hard, he learned that after accidently punching Sam a little too enthusiastically on the shoulder. Play fighting is good, actual violence is bad, he had explained that to him.

“We’re non-binary! Claire taught me that.” Jack is happy to interrupt, always happy to share the latest things he’d learned. He loves Claire for that reason, she’s always full of new things to learn, she is an excellent big sister. “Claire, Me, Cas, and Dean, we’re all LGBLT? Or is it LGBTQ? Either way, Claire is a lesbian, she also taught me that. And Dean, you’re a bisexual! Cas, you’re gay, I think? So, you didn’t come out for nothing, you came out for your non-binary partner.” Ha! Jack is very proud, this is one area he feels confident he knows more about than Sam, Dean, or even Cas.

“You’re surprisingly well informed for a toddler.” Sam compliments, tipping his beer bottle at him.

“The toddler age range ends at 3, I assure you, Jack is 4. He is no longer a toddler. I read all the development books.” Cas corrects, earning a laugh from Dean and a groan from Sam.

“He did, trust me Sammy, made me read some of them as well. Babies are weird man. Glad you came out fully formed kid, it was a relief.” Dean chuckles. Jack is relieved he came out fully formed too, it’s a lot more fun hanging out with his family when he can talk to them like this.

“I’m a celestial being, age doesn’t exist for me. I am as old or as young as I want to be at any given minute. Isn’t that neat?” Jack prides himself on choosing this form, a teenage body, he likes it because he can help his family. He likes going hunting, driving cars, and helping Dean cook dinner, a baby couldn’t do any of that!

“He really is your son-uh I mean they really are your child?” Dean self corrects, Jack notices he does that a lot more lately, again he really is trying to be better. Jack admires that about Dean, it’s something he tries to emulate as best as he can, always working to be a better person and make his mistakes right.

“Oh, I’m comfortable with he/they, just like my dad! I do feel like a boy most of the time.” Jack looks to Cas who nods along with him. They’d talked about it once, Cas explained that Jack could change a number of things about himself if he wished, if it would better match his soul. But Jack is really and truly happy with who he is. So is Cas.

“Yeah that’s my son.” Cas says fondly, pulling Jack into a hug. This is a good hug, the kind that makes Jack feel safe and cared for. Cas always makes him feel like he belongs, that no matter what he has a place in his arms.

That night, Jack sets a plan into motion. He waits until everyone is asleep and gets to work on creating gifts for his family. He uses his powers to manifest a set of matching black crew neck sweatshirts with the words ‘Cemetery Boys’ embroidered on the front in white thread. He then designs a magnet, putting a little ghost and tombstone on it. Once he’s satisfied he goes through the recycling and finds a box to put the sweatshirts in.

The next part is the most dangerous. Jack, creeps down the hall to the door that leads into the garage attached to the bunker. His eyes glimmer when he finds his target, the black 67 Impala, sitting dead center in the garage. Dean had just waxed her the day before so she was extra shiny. Jack likes when Baby is shiny, it makes the sun reflect on his face, nice and warm. He takes the magnet and carefully places it on the bumper, making sure not to scuff or scratch the shiny metal. Then in a flash, he is back in his room, laying in his bed as if nothing has happened.

Dean doesn’t notice the magnet until they are packing for a hunt the next day, a simple salt and burn case in Wisconsin. The whole family is going! Dean has even promised Jack that he will take him to Wisconsin Dells if it goes well and they will go to a place called Deer Park where he could pet and feed a bunch of deer. Jack likes animals, sometimes more than people, they’re much less complicated.

“Oh my god! My Baby is a whore! You gave her a tramp stamp?” Dean gasps, pointing to the offending ‘Cemetery Boys’ magnet on the bumper.

“You like it? I made it myself!” Jack beams with pride, hoping Dean was speechless because he was blown away by his ability to create magnets.

“Also, the term you’re looking for is sex worker. You need to be more sex positive Dean, especially for someone, who from the sound I hear coming from your room at night, seems to enjoy sex a great deal.” Jack blurts out nervously when Dean doesn’t respond. Jack tends to do that, he wishes he could stop, another part of what makes him different from most people.

“Oh, for the love of Christ. Please Jack, no.” Sam is doing something Claire told Jack is a facepalm, meaning he was either embarrassed or frustrated, perhaps both?

“Do not be ashamed of our healthy sex life, Dean. But do but ashamed of your gendered slurs and generally overdramatic demeanor. The car is unharmed, it’s a magnet.” Cas steps in, doing the teasing thing again. Jack really doesn’t understand his dads, but he’s glad they seem happy together.

“I swear one day Baby and I will drive away and leave you all behind. Traitors.” Dean threatens, this is a joke, Jack measures. Dean does that a lot, uses sarcasm and empty threats, at first they used to confuse and frighten Jack but now he just accepts it’s part of his nature. Dean is grumpy. Loveable but grumpy.

“See your theatrics are quite comical. You couldn’t leave us if you tried. Who would open the pickle jars for you, darling?” Cas smirks, Jack remembers witnessing this scene, Dean saying all the “no words” at a jar of gherkins as he struggled for a good 5 minutes, until his dad took the jar and opened it within two seconds.

“It was one time! And I swear I loosened it!” Dean glowers, clearly ashamed by the great pickle debacle of last week.

“Dads, stop. I will remove the magnet.” Jack decides it’s his job to play peacemaker, he steps up and gently takes the magnet off baby’s bumper, Dean visibly sighs in relief. Jack tries to hide his disappointment, he’d meant the sticker as a gift.

Cas notices his mood shift and is by his side, pulling Jack into a side hug. “Hey, you can put it on my truck.” He offers, rubbing Jack’s back and making him instantly feel better, must be magic dad powers Jack figures.

“Thanks dad, this is why you’re my favorite.” He says without thinking, Sam and Dean giving him matching offended expressions.

“Uh-what about me, I’m the one that sneaks you candy when Cas isn’t looking.” Sam makes a good point, he is exceptionally good at sneaking. He and Jack have so much fun together, that’s how they ended up with Miracle the dog. Sam had helped Jack smuggle him into the bunker and once both Jack and Cas had bonded with the dog, Dean couldn’t kick him out. Though Jack knows that Dean loves the dog just as much, he’s caught him slipping Miracle some of the good bacon when he thinks no one is looking.

“No Dean is the one that gives me candy. You help me pull pranks!” Jack laughs as Dean, flinches, quickly busing himself with packing all their bags in the trunk along with the weapons they’d need.

“Dean!” Cas says in his low, ‘oh no you’re in trouble,’ voice. “We’ve dicussed this, Jack’s intake of high fructose corn syrup is frighteningly high. He needs to eat real food.” He adds. Nougat is a food, Jack thinks privately, nougat might be his favorite food in fact.

“He’s a kid, he’ll be fine. Dean and I lived on that shi-stuff as kids and we turned out alright.” Sam, usually the vegetable police, surprisingly comes to Jack and Dean’s rescue, earning a matching raised brow from them both.

“Did you though?” Cas challenges, hand on his hip, sometimes dad gets sassy. Jack likes when dad gets sassy because it’s funny, makes him laugh.

“Well damn, don’t sugar coat it or anything babe.” Dean says in disbelief, opening the passenger door for Cas, Sam climbing into Baby’s backseat before Dean motions for Jack to come sit behind him. “Do I even want to know?” He sighs as he spots the box Jack is carrying.

“Well you’ve all been distracting me, I almost forgot.” Jack pauses as he opens the box and holds up the Sam sized sweatshirt. “I made us all shirts! Team shirts, we’re the Cemetery Boys!” He says proudly, shoving the shirt at Sam, then two at Cas, one for him and one for Dean. Jack pulls on his own shirt right away, stretching his arms and modeling it for them all.

“Can you all wear them for me?” Jack pulls out his trump card for this one, using the ‘look’ that Sam had taught him. He made his eyes big and kept them open just long enough so they were watering slightly, then bit his lip.

“I really screwed myself when I taught you my secrets. Really, using my own puppy eyes on me. Really short sighted of me to teach you that.” Sam sighs as he pulls on the sweatshirt, Cas doing the same.

“Nope, still not doing it. I don’t do matching shirts.” Dean holds firm, shaking his head at Cas when he holds out the sweatshirt to him as they pull out of the garage.

“Dean, the couch in the library is awfully uncomfortable. It’d be a shame if you had to sleep there.” Cas is firmly on team Cemetery Boys, pulling out the big threats to get Jack his way.

“Ugh fine, but no one can ever find out about this!” Dean groans, waiting until he’s at a stop sign at the end of the road to pull it on. Jack lights up, his team is complete, all three dads are wearing his shirt!

“It’s funny how easily emasculated you are Dean. Life is a lot more fun when you stop caring about gender expectations.” Cas smirks, Dean rolling his eyes at Cas and mimicking his know it all expression.

“Dean is sensitive, dad, and he’s really good at making pies! I think he cares less than you think he does.” Jack pauses, pleased when Dean makes eye contact with him in the rearview mirror and smiles. “Besides, I saw the pink underwear he hides when I helped with that laundry that one time.” He adds, Dean’s smile quickly disappearing, his eyes wide as he tightly gripped the steering wheel.

“Jesus Christ, kid, stop selling out all my secrets.” Dean grits between his teeth, now he is blushing. Jack knows Dean hates blushing just as much as he does.

“Oh that’s good! Can’t wait to tell Claire that one!” Sam barks out a laugh, taking his phone out of his pocket.

“You wouldn’t!” Dean hangs his head in shame when they stop for a train.

“Already did!” Sam sing songs, holding up his phone. Jack is sometimes thankful that Claire doesn’t live with them, living with your sibling seems exhausting sometimes, if Sam and Dean are any indication.

“Alright that’s enough Jack, don’t spill all the coffee. Your dad is allowed to have his secrets.” Cas intervenes, gently patting Dean’s thigh.

“Tea, dad, its spill the tea!” Jack sometimes can’t handle how out of touch his dad is. Guess that’s what happens when you’re millions of years old.

“Oh right, what’s the difference?” Cas sighs, laying his head back against the headrest as if he’s exhausted, Jack knows it’s just for dramatic effect because Cas doesn’t sleep.

“Cas, there’s big difference! One is the nectar of the gods and the other is glorified leaf water.” Dean defends, holding Cas’ hand, it’s meant to be a private gesture, but Jack can see it and it makes his heart happy.

“Tea is good.” Sam tries.

“I rest my case.” Dean counterpoints.

The case is a rough one, it turns out to be a bit more than a simple salt and burn. The ghost, a family annihilator was coming from beyond the grave to try to kill his son who had survived his attack. They had split into two groups, Dean and Cas at the cemetery burning the bones and Jack and Sam with the victim, trying to keep him safe.

“Do you think maybe we can take a photo together in our shirts?” Jack asks offhandedly as he and Sam roam the house looking for any objects that might still tether the ghost to the house.

“Why do you care so much about these shirts and taking a photo together?” Sam asks curiously, making Jack pause to think for a moment.

“Because, I’ve been watching a bunch of shows and movies, and all the families in them, they have all these photos together. They make all these memories together and they display them in their houses for everyone to see. I want that. The fact that we don’t have that makes me kind of scared, like this isn’t real. Like you all are prepared to run at a moment’s notice if I go nuclear.” Jack explains, using air quotes around the word nuclear.

“Oh. Oh. Jack, hey, it’s not like that. I guess, well we’ve been so busy saving people and hunting things, we’ve lost track of normal family things. You’re family Jack. Promise.” Sam says right away, pulling Jack into a crushing hug. Sam is strong, Jack hopes to be that strong someday.

“Can we take a photo then, a family portrait?” Jack asks hopefully.

“Family portrait? Family portrait. Shit! Jack, the family portrait!” Sam gasps, letting Jack go and looking around the room with wild eyes.

“Huh?” Jack is trying to catch up before he spots the family portrait hanging above the fireplace, both the victim and his evil departed dad in the photo. He rushes to grab it off the wall and tosses it into the fireplace. Sam pulls out a container of salt and lighter fluid, coating the portrait, then Jack tosses a match, lighting it on fire.

“Good work kid.” Sam grins as the ghost appears and then bursts into flames. “I think you’ve earned that portrait.”

True to his word, the first thing in the morning, Sam helps Jack use the laptop to find the closest portrait studio. It happens to be a JC Penney portrait studio, making Dean groan and complain about cheesy backgrounds and awkward poses that they’d likely endure. With much coaxing and further threats from Cas to relegate Dean to sleeping with Miracle on the dog bed, he agrees to the photoshoot.

Jack gets several copies of the photos made. He hands out wallet sized copies to Mary and Eileen who both coo over how adorable they look. Cas gets it framed and hangs it in the library, Dean never admits he likes it, but Jack catches him stopping to look at it every day, a proud smile on his face.

This is Jack’s family. His team. His Cemetery Boys.

#suptober21 #cemetery boys #supernatural #destiel #jack kline #jack kline pov #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #fan fiction

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ssvgawara · 4 years ago

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Haikyuu boys and some oddly specific crime they’d commit

a/n: I come back and the first thing I write is a shitpost!! enjoy </3 tw for drugs, murder, alcohol and general crime committing xoxo

Karasuno

Daichi- he’s a cop sorry that’s all there is to it man

Suga- Suga has multiple charges of 1st-degree murder against him but they can’t seem to find his identity so he continues committing murder and will continue until he gets caught or ends up murdering enough people to be put in a position of power

Asahi- everyone is probably like “Oh Asahi is innocent” NO. He has learned that his slightly scary face will let him get away with a lot, he is buying alcohol illegally because he looks old enough to, and he’s buying so much other shit and just getting away with it

Nishinoya- This man gives fucking pimp vibes I can just see him in the big leopard print fur coat with a pretty girl in his lap and he calls himself big poppa but no one else will

Tanaka- Drug dealer vibes, probably runs an entire fucking drug ring with his sister and not just a Lil weed these mfkas have the hard shit too like you could probably buy meth from them, he’s not using it but it’s good business

Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita- They literally rob a bank they have an entire scheme and get away with multiple bank robberies and this goes on for MONTHS

Kageyama- We know he’s volleyball smart but otherwise he’s so mfing stupid and I love him for it but he is a chronic shoplifter. Just picks something up and takes it, has walked out of a store without paying for an entire bed set once and got away with it somehow so idk props to him

Hinata- He is the little guy in any heist situation, he fits anywhere so he can sneak in and out the best, he gave himself the stupid ass code name tiny giant but everyone goes with it because somehow he is the best

Tsukishima- armed robbery, but he doesn’t have a gun just a knife like he’s tall and as an attitude, a knife will get him whatever he needs he doesn’t need the gun

Yamaguchi- He runs a catfishing scheme where he pretends to be a naive girl, scams old men out of their money, and then ghosts them and I think it’s what he deserves let him carry on especially because no one would believe it’s him. Also not really like a crime crime but still a crime in a way

Kiyoko- She kills men and I know it, Queen Kiyoko ending the patriarchy one shitty man at a time like she only kills men who deserve it bc some have rights.

Yachi- She’s too anxious to commit an in-person crime so she does a lot of cybercrime, hacking government databases and releasing info to the people, truly the anonymous we deserve

Saeko- She’s running that drug ring with Tanaka, and she loves it because there’s a thrill to it even though yknow she’s dealing literal meth but like its fine plus she loves rocking people’s shit when they get too handsy, which bring me to my next point underground MMA Saeko, like the illegal one with no rules yeah <3

Ukai- this man probably sells all kinda shit to minors that he shouldn’t he is so unbothered a 7-year-old could probably walk in ask for a pack of camels and get them and leave before he noticed what was going on.

Takeda- Did y’all see how scared Hinata was when Takeda gave him that lecture? This dude could kidnap someone and scare them into giving all the information he needed, a legend truly

Aoba Johsai

Oikawa- took steroids one time. And of course in sports, that’s not allowed. But he only did it once and regretted it for months afterward. Never told anyone and was just relieved he didn’t have to piss in a cup and have someone find out.

Matsukawa- Without hesitation, I know this man takes dead people’s bones and sells them on the internet. Has dubbed himself the bone man and he feels so much power when someone buys a femur or sumn. It’s kinda funny honestly he has a hoard of bones to sell, his fave is the pelvis.

Hanamaki- He’s in between jobs because he stole money from his last job, like he said he was sorry he just needed a little extra for gas but was sad to find out that’s a literal crime and he was laundering money.

Iwaizumi- he’s a street racer, like the fast and furious style and it’s so sexy of him like late-night races ugh to be in an expensive fast car with him where he has one hand on my thigh okay that’s enough of that.

Kunimi- Look me in the eye and tell me he does not do drugs. He does and if you don’t believe me you are wrong and I will fight you on this one.

Kyotani- If there is a crime he will commit it for fun. Like he will do it with no hesitation. He has a record longer than twilight and I’m not sure how he is not in prison actually nvm he escaped and is a wanted criminal lol

Shiritorizawa

Ushijima- Assault, he just reeks of getting into bar fights when he’s absolutely wasted. Like he most likely didn’t start it but he will be finishing it

Tendou- grave robbing, he just goes into the cemetery picked the oldest plots, and gets to digging. Has made thousands on dead people jewelry and probably won’t get caught, like besides the groundskeeper there’s no security he will never stop.

Semi- he breaks copyright laws on the daily. He’s sampling music in his all the time but he’s doing it so sneakily it’s fine its what deserves stream his band on Spotify right now,

Shirabu- His bangs are criminal enough. No, but he has stolen drugs from the hospital before he just wanted to try the Xanax, and yeah he could just write himself a prescription for it nut like it’s so easy to just go get some and no report it so that’s what he did.

Goshiki- y’all want me to say arson don’t you?? Fine. He commits arson multiple times and kills 7 people with fire before getting arrested and he doesn’t even feel bad so in prison he probably fucking runs a gang he is crazy.

Nekoma

Kuroo- he is a capitalist and class traitor and that’s crime enough I don’t care is he’s attractive or rich, He commits crimes daily by just existing but I still love him anyway.

Kai- Could not commit a crime he just wants to garden and live his life. Jk there’s at minimum one body in that garden let him kill a man he deserves it just let him have one dead body

Yaku- he keyed someone’s car once just because they pissed him off. Was it kuroo? Yes. But that’s fine because he also keyed Lev’s car but blamed lev for keying kuroo’s and Kuroo for keying Lev’s. He just wants to watch the world burn.

Kenma- cyberbullying but man he is mean. Like no bars held we will dig into every insecurity he can and that shit hurts and he doesn’t even feel bad about it he will just be as mean as he can if you’re not careful

Lev- his crime is being tall and dumb also doesn’t understand the economy and prints counterfeit money because why can’t we print more money? The government should get on that.

Inuoka- He released all the animals from a zoo, like snuck in one night and just let them all free, I’m surprised the tiger didn’t eat him but hey the animals are free, there’s still some missing uh oh he’s very proud of himself for it. After the rush, he starts sneaking into shelters and freeing all the dogs and cats

Yamamoto and Fukunaga- Have egged a house before, it was Kuroo’s he deserves all this bullying and you can’t stop me.

Date Tech

Aone- Criminal Conspiracy, sure he had an entire foolproof plan to get away with the perfect crime but someone found out, and now his plans are ruined, damn </3 and no one ever suspects the quiet guy either.

Futakuchi- Having a prostitute, he just wanted some company like mans is lonely so he paid a girl to just spend a Lil time with him it’s all good.

Fukurodani

Bokuto- I know we all haha funny laugh at tax evader bokuto and sure maybe he evades his taxes but he’s also committed vehicular manslaughter, he cannot drive and has killed someone with his car maybe even multiple someones but he always drives off in a panic because he doesn’t know what else to do.

Akaashi- Hasn’t actively committed a crime but has been an accomplice in every vehicular manslaughter Bokuto has committed why the fuck does he keep letting bokuto drive? He really needs to stop that.

Konoha- A master scammer he is so convincing everyone gives him money even if they’re a little sus because he’s just that good each scheme is so convincing.

Inarizaki

Kita- He grows weed, you can’t tell me those rice fields are just for rice he’s got all this space he is growing marijuana and selling it, let him do it I want him to be my plug.

Atsumu- "What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier."

Osamu- resisting arrest. He just said no and ran. Granted he shouldn’t have punched the cop in the first place to have to be arrested but like that’s not the point here.

Aran- accidental child abandonment, like he just forgot he was babysitting and left the kid alone for like a day. He felt terrible but he still forgot the kid and now is fearful of parenthood

Suna- owns an illegal weapon, like he just never registered it and keeps it around and would use it if needed Suna please just point the weapon at me maybe

Others

Terushima- Graffiti, he loves painting on the walls of buildings and tagging them, has so much spraypaint and his day isn’t complete if he doesn’t tag at least one building or train car.

Daishou- Public intoxication- he got a little too fucked up and stripped on the street he will forever have to live with everyone knowing he has an ass tattoo like damn bruh

Sakusa- Perjury he simply wanted to get out of court so he said some shit so he could leave granted he lied under oath but whatever, did they ever find out? No, so he’s fine and he’d do it again if it meant he could leave faster. Like sure he was a witness to a murder but bruh he pretends he does not see.

Hoshihumi- driving without a license he simply thought you didn’t need one because why do you need a piece of plastic to say you can drive a car like??? Just know how to drive it.

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batarella · 4 years ago

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I Don’t Hate You - Part 16 (Jason Todd x Reader)

this is the only part of the series when I was actually bawling my eyes out while writing it. I hope this makes up for the past two chapters (not sorry though)

WORDS: 6610 WARNINGS: Grieving, Guilt, Heartbreak, Death of loved one, still so much angst

Masterlist

I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST

-----

Now

“Y/N…”

You didn’t notice just how long you sat there silently, watching the lint stuck to the carpet move about from the tiny push of the ceiling fan.

“Do you hear what I’m saying?”

Reluctantly, you looked up from the not too interesting carpet and saw how the therapist was looking at you. You could tell how much she was trying to hold back from being too overly comforting to the point where you’d feel like you were being pitied on. Which you were. Everyone did. You hated it to the bloody core at first, but once you got used to it all, when you’d grown used to the ever-lingering pain in your gut, you learned to let it slide.

“Yes…”

The therapist took your empty mug and poured more water into it. Your tears have dried. You knew what she said was right.

“I know this is a lot to process… but once you truly realize none of it was your fault, it’s the first step to moving on.”

You heard the blades of the fan swing around. You focused on that sound. Anything to help stop yourself from sobbing too much as if you still had any tears left within you.

“Can't you see?” you whispered. “I don’t want to move on…”

You stared at the water, focused on the sound of the fan. In the bottom of your throat, there was an itch you couldn’t reach. And the more you stood silent, the more you felt it.

“I understand that is the case-“

“You don’t. I tell myself that all this is my fault on purpose. Because moving on…” you gulped. “It just feels like I’m purposely trying to forget him. I don’t want to forget him. Everything we had. I don’t want to throw away like some happy memory I’ll never get to relive. I love him. Present tense. I love him…”

“But he’s gone…” she leaned over to you. “You can't throw your life away for him. That isn’t what he’d want.”

“No. It’s what I want. Three years, I never did so much as talk to another guy. The thought of it disgusts me… I can't give myself away to another when he’s all I ever wanted. So no, I never want to see myself move forward and have a family with anyone else that isn’t him. It’s cruel and unhealthy, but this is how I want things to be.”

The therapist watched your mouth tremble. You had so many more things to say. And from the look on her face, she knew this was the first time you’ve put these thoughts into words.

“After we broke up…” you said. “I thought I never wanted anything to do with him anymore. I never wanted to see him again. I wanted nothing more than to forget him. I tried… so hard… to convince myself that I hated him, that I was so much better off. For days, I stayed in bed, I didn’t eat, sleep, shower, anything. He hurt me so much and I knew any thought of him will subject me into more of that hurt…

“But then… when they told me he was gone…”

You closed your eyes and felt the cold tears sting your cheeks.

“I hated myself. For ever thinking that about him. I realized just how much of the things I did, if done differently, would have changed so many things for the better. I betrayed him… when all he ever did was love me… And the guilt eats me up so much… every single day. I could never hate him. I could never wish we never happened. And I hate myself everyday for getting out of that car, for not handling it the best way I should’ve thought of. But even with what we had, how everything happened, I’ll take that short while I had with him over a lifetime without him at all…

“I let that guilt consume me. I wanted it to. I let the idea of him stick to me so much that I could never bring myself to even imagine that I could ever belong to another. I don’t want to move on. I still want him the same way I did when I first met him. As far as I know, I’m still his. I’m still Jason’s. Whatever happens, I’m always, always, going to belong to him. Dead or alive. I don’t care if it isn’t what he’d want. He doesn’t get to tell me what to do. Not anymore…”

It definitely wasn’t what he’d want at all. Even until now, you haven’t changed your phone’s wallpaper since before you even broke up. It had been three, very long years.

“I see…”

The therapist took a drink from her mug, the laid back to stare at her notes.

“You don’t want to move on because you still wish he’d somehow come back-“

“No. Not even that. I don’t want to move on because forgetting him seems like the worst thing I could ever do to myself… He was the best person I ever met. All those days in the library…” you closed your eyes and let yourself smile. “All the fights we had… I’d give my life to have those back.”

The therapist almost didn’t want to say anything to change your mind. And you made sure she knew you had no plans on changing your mind.

“You’d rather go up against the forces of nature than to find happiness?”

“I just can't see myself being happy with anyone else other than him…”

She licked her lips. “It may seem that way at first.”

“It’s been three years. It’s still what I feel. Nothing’s changed.”

“Okay,” she said.

“What if I asked you to look back on how you dealt with his death? Tell me how you got to that point.”

You didn’t know where to start.

-----

Then

The last thing you wanted was to receive even more condolences from people you barely even know. There were the Wayne’s, Jason’s friends, other parts of an extended family you didn’t know much about. You were alone. Just as you had been since he was gone.

They buried him in the cemetery outside the manor. You were the last to stay behind at his grave before you’d walk back inside for the gathering. You preferred not to be in there with so many other people. You wanted to be alone. Be with him. Even when you didn’t have much to say. You barely even said anything since they gave you the news. All you were was a silent, empty pile of bones, flesh, and skin.

Jason Peter Todd

Brother. Son. Friend.

You hated every word being engraved on a block of decorated cement. Even his beautiful name.

But even you, someone who’s hated almost everything around her at one point, had stopped and let everything slide. Your tears had run out. You felt like a dark, empty slate. You had so many days waiting for you to go through with and all you wanted right now was to stay put, take this all in as slowly as you could before your body goes into shock.

Dipping your head to the ground, and after a reasonable amount of hours standing in front of his grave, you walked into the manor.

Dick Grayson was waiting for you at the foyer.

“There you are,” he said. You let him place his hand behind your back, leading you inside. “It’s getting a bit rainy out there.”

People. Too many. Even when it was just their family, you wanted no part of this.

“Dick…”

“Yeah?”

You sighed. “Do you think it’s okay if I go up to his room?”

He breathed out and held your shoulder gently. “Of course. If it helps you in any way.”

“I just want to be close to him.”

“Anything you want.”

You smiled. “Thank you.”

“You know where it is. Call me if you need me.”

You looked up at the grand staircase and started making your way up the steps. No one was upstairs, and with the size of the manor so large, you barely heard any voices when you reached the hallways.

Third one to the left. The one with a console table and a vase full of flowers next to it. You placed your hand on the doorknob, your forehead touching the cold wood, then you closed your eyes.

If only, when you’d open the door, you’d see him waiting for you in bed, reading The Scarlet Letter for the fifth time since he first learned how to read, you’ll never wish for anything else your whole life ever again.

But you stepped in, and his untouched, empty bed was the first thing you saw.

The air around looked just about as gray and blank as the silence was around you. It smelled the same, looked just about as he’d have left it. But there were details only you’d have noticed. His bed wasn’t made the same way he always did. Jason always tucked the blanket under the pillows, which were always perfectly puffed. Alfred, on the other hand, covered the pillows with the blankets.

And the books. They weren’t arranged the way he liked them to be. The shelves looked different as well. He had on a new desk chair. A new mirror. His curtains looked newly patched up.

No one had to tell you why. Jason died when his room was still a destroyed mess and Alfred had to be the one to clean everything up post-partum.

So there was even less of him in that room than you’d hoped.

But you still felt him. Despite everything. You could feel him watching over you, smiling at you as you walked in, closed the door behind you, then sat on the bed.

You took a good look around and watched the floating specks of dust around the dead air.

Silent, subtle tears fell down your face, streaming down your chin and your neck.

You lied down, placed your head into his pillow and breathed in. You could smell him. Even with it so faint. You could smell his hair. His neck. That scent you always loved. And you sobbed into his sheets.

It dawned to you that no one was to lie on this bed ever again. That this was the state it was always going to be. You were never going to stay in this room and have his strong arms wrap around you so tightly that you’ll fall asleep almost in an instant. This room, the last of what’s left of him other than the beautiful memories you’ll never forget to treasure, it felt like stepping into his mind and somehow talk to him even when he wasn’t there.

And you had so, so much to tell him, you had no idea where to begin.

So then, you just kept your silence. If you were to tell him anything, even in the afterlife, you’ll have to carefully pick out your words, know exactly what you wanted to say and make sure nothing but your love and eternal loyalty to him would leave your lips. You spent too much time with him, with you speaking without much thought on your words that it’d eventually grow to hurt him. It’s what caused this in the first place.

You looked up the ceiling, hands over your stomach, then you watched on as the light grew to a dim and the night came.

-----

A week before graduation.

He was supposed to be the class valedictorian. The brilliant, incredibly gifted mind of his. No one else deserved that place more than he did. He was supposed to go up on that stage, deliver a beautiful message to all his peers while looking at you in the crowd, smiling from ear to ear. You’ll be the proudest girlfriend there was, and you still are. It would have all gone through exactly as you hoped.

But all there was left of him now was a tribute. A few mere minutes of mentioning his name, talking about what he did, while some other nerd gets to graduate on top. For formalities, they said. You tried to combat it. You talked to the Principal, the Vice Principal, the student council. Everyone. But they wouldn’t budge. Jason was just a memory to them.

He didn’t mean as much to them as he did to you. And he meant everything to you.

And as if you actually wanted to hurt yourself even further than you already did, you took all the guts you had, took deep, calculated breaths,

Then you stepped into the beautiful, empty school library.

Exactly as you left it. You haven’t been here for weeks. Even before Jason left.

And your heart warmed up in the pit of your chest the more you inhaled the dusty scent, the familiar cold breeze from the fan on the ceiling, the wood of the chairs and tables, the browning pages of the old books.

This was yours and Jason’s place. Forever.

You walked to the tables, placed your hand on the surface on the very spot you and Jason often sat in when you rewrote the library’s handwritten records all afternoon. Where you barely slept that time you were locked in. Where you’d sneak glances up at him, catch him staring at you for long minutes.

You ran a hand across the back of his favorite chair.

The shelves. There was a cart nearby, one with a few piles of books in it that hadn’t been arranged. You saw yourself sitting in that very same cart, holding out the books for Jason as he pushed you through the aisles, placed the books into their places and playfully pulled on your hair.

You had the time. For old time’s sake.

You took the cart, pulled out the first book that immediately caught your eye.

Edgar Allan Poe’s Collection of Stories.

You fought back the tears. You’ve cried too much already.

Slowly, you pushed it into its place into the shelves.

You saw him, behind the spaces of the books, peering his eye in and smiling at you. He followed you as you went on, passing by the different aisles and placing the books you’ve longed memorized even after more than a year.

He was there, but each time you turned to the corners, he disappeared.

You tried not to think much of it and went on.

You loved the feel of it. The spines of the old, beautiful books. And when you had some of Jay’s favorites in your hand, you opened it up and read a few passages. Even with your heart practically sinking to the ground, your eyes about to burst into tears, you were smiling. A small, heavy smile.

You passed by the stoner’s aisle, the mattress aisle, the aisle with the flask hidden, all the shelves you were as familiar with as your own house. This was a beautiful place. The library.

You didn’t take long to finish through the cart. If it had been you on your first day, it would’ve taken you the whole two hours. But Jason had taught you everything you needed to know. It was one of the more useless, yet most treasured life skills you ever got to learn.

Once you finished with the cart, you immediately smiled when you reached the romance section. The Boner Aisle.

And for the first time in weeks, you let out a small chuckle.

You had way too much fun in this library.

And as you turned around, leaned your back against the shelf with the window right by your side, you let all the memories take over what was left of your sanity. You closed your eyes. You relived it all. You tried, with all your might, to remember the feel of him, holding and kissing you right in this very spot. You remembered all the little arguments you had about all the books you didn’t arrange. You saw the darkness when you spent the night, the night you swore changed so much about the way you saw him.

And the tears never stopped flowing. You wouldn’t let it. You let them take over. You let it hurt you. You wanted it to. You were always going to remember him, and not a second will go by when you’ll forget the sound of his voice, his handsome face, his scent, the feel of his skin.

You slid to the floor, knees folded up your chest. Then you cried.

All the books you read together, in the library, in the manor, in your room. The books he read to you. Edgar Allan Poe. The Raven. The Murder of Rue Morgue. The classics he loved to re-read thousands of times. The books he had in his room.

All the songs you shared with him. The songs you sang for him. The songs from Kodaline playing when you first kissed him and on that night in the chapel. The songs you screamed your hearts out to in the car. The songs he told you to sing saying they suited your voice.

The movies you watched. The horror flicks he was practically covering his eyes from. The sappy love stories you poked fun on. The movies you did your research on so you’d visit abandoned places that inspired them. Movies with abandoned carnivals. Movies about asylums.

And most of all…

The places.

The school. The cafeteria. The abandoned house with the piano. The gym. The football field. The chapel. Your room. The manor. The playground. The Christmas Market. The Walmart parking lot.

The beautiful, damned library.

Everything.

They will always be with Jason. For the rest of your life.

Your head buried into your knees, you slightly looked up at the sound of footsteps.

And at the sight of a grouchy old woman, well into her years with a mouth dirtier than a 12-year-old boy’s, you breathed out a laugh.

“You look like shit, girl,” Ms. Peterson said.

You smiled and wiped the tears from your eyes. “Thanks, Ms. P.”

You thought she’d send you out, and you were prepared for that, but the old woman, who looked just as distraught as you were, walked over to stand right by her side, leaning against the shelf.

“I’m sorry about your boy…”

“You don’t have to… Seriously… I’m sick of people apologizing to me.”

“I know…” she said. “People tend to do that.”

“Are you going to send me out or what?”

She looked down at you, and you looked up at her.

She smiled for the first time. It was warming.

“No… You can stay here as long as you want.”

You sniffed and wiped your snot with your sleeve. “He really liked you, you know. Jason.”

The old woman laughed. “That boy was a menace.”

All the times you messed with this woman almost to the point of insanity. You loved those memories.

“Don’t get me wrong, I hated both your guts. I asked the Vice Principal to send you over to cafeteria duty. But they kept you here. And I had to deal with your antics.”

You smiled. “Messing with you was the most fun I had in detention.”

“I know. You both couldn’t stop laughing all day, it was insane. Like you were perfectly made for each other just to mess with me.”

You lost your smile, looking at the line of books in front of you.

“I’m sorry…”

“I said don’t be. Really.”

Then, Ms. Peterson placed her hand on your shoulder. You sighed.

“Your little pranks were only the start of all the other things I noticed…”

You swallowed. “What do you mean?”

The old woman took in the silence, looked over to the shelves and all the books and tables and the whole of the room. She was smiling, like she was watching something going on.

“I’ve worked in this library for fifty years, girl. Since I got out of college. I loved it. I loved the books and how I was tasked to take care of them. I loved every part of it. I will die with this job and whoever takes my place will never love it as much as I do…”

“I thought you hated it-“

“Shh.”

You kept silent.

“But the work, it was only one thing about it that made this job so beautiful. I’ve seen kids from the seventies, courting each other the old fashioned way leaving flowers and handwritten notes they had left in the books. I’ve seen teachers come in, crying about the work load they had that no student seems to care about. In the eighties, I saw how people started listening to music while they read. They sent cassette tapes over to each other. They talked with their friends, and I had to shut them up so much more than I do now. Then your phones came in. Laptops. The computers. I’ve seen this place change. I’ve seen so many different kinds of people in them, grow old, grow up. I tend to take notice of the littlest details, if you already didn’t know.”

You laughed. You did know. Any book out of place and she’d flip.

“I’ve seen stories. People’s stories. They happen in this library. I’ve seen kids come in just to cry, fall asleep in the middle of studying. I’ve seen people cram for exams at the last minute. I’ve seen prom proposals happen more often than they should. You have no idea. And of course, there are the trouble makers. I didn’t get to thank you, girl. You helped me a lot in taking care of that.”

“Eh,” you shrugged.

“But…”

She paused, smiling at the thought.

“You know what I didn’t expect to see?”

You shook your head.

The old woman looked down at you.

“In my fifty years in this library, I never thought I’d get to watch two kids slowly fall in love with each other. And I got front row seat…”

You closed your eyes, leaned your head back, then bit your lips.

“And I didn’t just see the obvious. No. It was already there before either of you even noticed. You hated each other at first, sure. But even then, I saw it. I saw the everything. I knew you were going to love each other before either of you did. The little things, they’ve been always there.”

You wiped a tear away. “Like what, Ms. P?”

“Well… I’m sure you know how much of a brood that boy is?”

“Yeah…”

Ms. P smiled.

“I’ve seen him in the years before. That kid never smiled. He stays in the library almost every time he wasn’t in class. And he was always reading, doing his homework, taking a nap.

“And the thing about that Jason, he was always so sad. He had some issues. Most probably at home. I never saw that kid laugh so hard until… well, until you…”

You felt your face burn the way it did the first few months you got together.

“What you also didn’t know, Y/N, was how much his face would light up the moment you walked in. The way he talks, smiles, the way he interacts with everyone else. When you were in the room, it was like you wiped away just about all of his sad little thoughts. And that was only the first week.

“I started seeing him listen closely to you when you sang. I knew because he came up to me once, told me if I ever heard you sing. I said no, and the boy told me I was missing out on one of the best voices in the world.

“When you weren’t around, he’ll come over to my desk, ask where you were. And he’d act so differently without you. He was almost always silent, didn’t like talking to anyone else. And your bickering, dear god, I hated it. I wanted my ears to bleed out the sounds of your voices so much. But then I’d look closer, see how it was most often just cries of attention for each other, how your arguments really made you both smile more than get angry...”

It was also what tore you apart, you thought.

“You had your own set of secrets, Y/N.”

“Me?” you quirked up a brow.

“Oh, hush. You liked that boy the minute you were given your first carts to shelf-“

“I did not-“

“Oh yes you did. You had all those books in the wrong shelves for all those weeks because you wanted to work on the shelves close to him all the time. Follow him around. It drove me nuts.”

“I-“

She smirked at you, and you, rolling your eyes, looked back in front of you.

You smiled even wider. Yeah. It was true.

“I thought you had your eyes glued to your card games, Ms. P.”

“I did. All it took were some glances. I already knew. He watched you through the shelves, you watched him sleeping in front of you in the table, he watched you when you worked, you both had smiles on your eyes when you talked. The way he smiled with you…”

Ms. Peterson looked down at you and placed a hand on your head.

“Well,” you sighed. “He probably hated me before he died. We broke up just before that… I hate it.”

She shook her head.

“The way that boy cared for you… I don’t think he could ever hate you, Y/N. Fifty years of watching people go by, never have I seen two people fall in love as hard as you both did.”

“Weren’t you married, Ms. P?”

“Oh yes. Four times actually.”

You almost choked.

“Not one of my husbands had half of what that boy had for you. And all it took was a few glances up from my card games. I just knew. You can't tell me otherwise…”

She walked to stand in front of you, hands on her hips. “I can't believe I’m saying this, but thank you. For giving me quite a show…”

You were crying in front of her, but you didn’t care.

“Now get your ass up from the floor. You don’t want me locking you in here again.”

You laughed, dusting off your jeans as you walked out of the doorway. You turned around, took one last glance at the shelves, the books, the tables, the desks.

You saw Jason, right by the carts, smiling back at you.

You looked away before your heart broke even more.

“Also,” Ms. Peterson held your shoulder. “I’m in need of a library assistant for hire. When you’re in college, you might be needing a part time job…”

You like that. You like the idea of holding onto Jason as much as you could. No matter how much it hurt.

“I’d love that.”

Ms. Peterson gave you her number.

“You’re going to be okay, girl.”

She walked away, and you closed up the library doors.

No, you won't.

You could go home.

But you had one last thing you wanted to do…

And you were going to need to be alone for this one. Really alone. And you were going to need a space enough to give you all the comfort you were going to need.

You took out your phone.

You, all alone in the now dark school campus, walked over to the back of the school, past the hallways and the classrooms.

You stepped out the back doors and walked into the middle of the football field.

Wide. Open. Empty.

You didn’t have much attachment to this place, but this was what you needed. You needed the cold rush of the fresh air. You needed the earthy grass beneath your feet. You needed to look at the sky. Where Jason was looking down at you, watching you.

You were going to need all that to cope.

And by God, this was a lot to cope with.

You opened your unopened messages.

‘Jason Todd. 1 voicemail. 11:38 pm. April 27.’

You didn’t open it the first time it popped on your phone. You didn’t know he’d…

They said the bomb exploded at April 27, 11:43 pm.

These were his last words. He chose to use them on you.

And now, now that you knew these were his last, you were undeniably terrified to listen to it

It was a few minutes long. Whatever he had to say, you were ready now. You were going to cherish them, whatever it was he said to you.

Fuck, you were so scared.

You looked up above, at the empty black sky. Wherever he was, you were here now. For him.

The large field was enough to calm you, at least enough to give you the courage to do this. The bleachers, they looked like they were watching you, seeing how you were going to deal with this. You looked around, with your trembling breath, and hoped the light breeze will be enough to sooth you.

With your fingers shaking, you pressed play and held it up to your ear.

“Y/N…”

You closed your eyes.

“I… I’m not really sure what to say to you… You probably don’t want to hear anything from me right now… but… fuck, you’ll kill me if you knew where I put myself into…”

Drums. They were beating somewhere. Much like your heart was.

“I shouldn’t have said we were done. We could never be over. You and me… we had it in us to last forever. You said that to me once… and I believed it. I still do… B-but then I…” You heard him grunt in pain “I let you get out of that car. I was stupid to hurt you like this. I never should have, and maybe then I can tell myself that I actually deserve you… I don’t. And don’t I know that…”

Your hair in the wind, you looked up at the sky. The tears were colder against your skin.

“Fuck. I don’t know if I’m getting out of this… I’m scared. I probably won't… I just wanted to let this out before it’s too late…”

You sobbed, crying into the emptiness.

“I love you s-so much... Whether I’m there or I’m not. And you can ignore it if you want, but I love you. You are always going to be mine, and you’ll always have my heart. You have no idea the lengths I’d go just to make you happy, and I’ll do it all again. I don’t care if we fight. I don’t care if you hate me. I love you. always. Always…”

You fell to the ground, your other hand gripping onto the grass. You tried to hold back your sobs, but they kept coming. I don’t hate you… I never could…

“Jason…” you cried, hoping this was a call. Not a voicemail.

“Y/N,” he said, and your heart warmed up at the thought of him hearing you right at that moment. “If I don’t make out of this alive, please let me go…”

No... not a chance... No…

“Let me go. But don’t forget about me. Look back at our time together so you’ll find what truly makes you happy. Please, promise me. Promise me you’ll move on…”

The cries of pain he made in between the words. It all made everything so much worse than it already did.

“Go to arts college. Be the best singer in the world. Promise me that… Promise that you’ll stop finding things to hate and find more things to love, just as I know you loved me. And I know you did, because you made me the happiest I ever could be… Promise me you’ll be nicer to people. Stop throwing coffee at people’s faces or stabbing them with your scissors. For fuck’s sake, please do.”

He even managed a chuckle, and with that, so did you.

“I love you, Y/N…”

You said into the phone, “I love you so much, Jason… I’m so sorry…”

You head was against the dewy grass, crying the hardest than you ever had your whole life.

“I’m sorry things didn’t turn out the way we wanted it, baby. I’m so sorry… For everything I did. I wanted a life with you more than anything. And after you listen to this, I hope you forgive me… The last thing I want is to get in the way of your happiness.”

Of course you forgave him. You forgave him before you even knew.

“Look up, my Y/N. I can't thank you enough for everything… And know I’m always here. Always.”

Always.

It ended.

Your screams, you couldn’t even hear them.

Everything was a dead, muted blur.

Your tears soaked the ground.

Your palms covered in dirt and grass from how much you pulled on them.

You clutched your phone to your chest and cried out all the tears you’ve held back. All this couldn’t be real. You couldn’t possibly have lost him like this.

But you did…

And there was nothing you could do. Nothing to change the past. He was gone. Jason was gone.

He wanted you to move on from that.

No. Absolutely not. You were never going to move on from him. Not even the slightest.

You’ll keep his other promises. You’ll go to the College of the Arts. You’ll be the best goddamn singer in the fucking east coast. You’ll love everything that comes your way. You’ll be the nicest fucking person there was. You’ll do all those faithfully. For him.

But the one thing you’re never going to do was move on. Never.

You looked up.

A single, shining star, looking down at you like it was listening.

“I’m sorry, Jay…” you said, hoping he was listening. “But I can't keep that promise…”

Nothing happened. Nothing said anything back.

You closed your eyes.

-----

Now

You weren’t crying anymore. You were calm.

The therapist, on the other hand, looked just about breaking down from your sob, shitty story. You smiled.

“I’m not supposed to have my favorites,” she said.

“But you have the most beautiful story… Not everyone can find a love like that…”

“I know. That’s why I refuse to let him go. I love him. Always. I never stopped.”

The therapist nodded, grabbing her mug and taking a drink.

“I’m sorry,” she wiped a tear with her sleeve. “I don’t cry often with my clients around.”

“It’s alright…”

She smiled at you. “You fell in love with him in your library detention work, huh?”

“Yes… I did…”

Then, the therapist nodded but started to frown.

“You know,” you leaned forward. “If it weren’t for him… I wouldn’t have changed. I’d still be that mean, bratty bully he still had the guts to fall in love with. And if I hadn’t changed…”

You looked up at the pair of cat-eye glasses, the same ones that looked at you in so much dismay and annoyance all those years in high school. The same ones that told you off like she was your mother. The same ones you were awfully familiar with, but never grew comfortable of.

“I’d say all this was your fault, Vice Principal Watson…”

The therapist, Dr. Heather Watson, the former Vice Principal of Gotham High, now a reputable therapist from her deeply beloved passion for helping out the troubled youth find their way (mostly inspired by a particular mean girl in her school who needed a lot of her help), let out a short, chuckling breath through her nose and shook her head.

“I was afraid you’d call me that eventually…”

You shrugged. “You’d have seen it coming.”

“Well…” she bit both her lips, trying not to look at you. “I can't say I blame you for blaming me…”

“None of this would have happened if it weren’t for you, you know. You remember that day you gave me that library sentence? You told me I needed someone to hold me back from terrorizing the school. You said I needed a boyfriend.”

Ms. Watson smiled at the memory.

“Turns out, you were right. And it just so happens that a troubled boy, Jason Todd, someone as you said, wouldn’t be afraid of me even if I tried, started a fight at the cafeteria that day and somehow, while we were both in that office of yours, you had the brilliant idea of giving us a completely unnecessary ten weeks-worth of detention with no one else but each other. Tell me, Ms. Watson, that you didn’t do that on purpose because some part of you just knew we’d be perfect together, and I’ll eat my words.”

She stuck her tongue to the side of her mouth.

“I won't deny it.”

You breathed out an airy laugh, looking out into the window.

“I’m sorry…” she said. “No one would have seen this coming-“

“No…”

You bit your lip.

“Did you come here just to tell me that? If it helps, you can place the blame on me. Even his death-“

“Stop it.”

You looked at Ms. Watson.

“I came here to thank you…”

You gave her a sad, yet genuine smile.

“Jason was the best thing that ever happened to me… Doesn’t matter where I am now. I’d never give up the time we had for anything…”

Watson nodded understandingly. She looked down at her notes, flipping to another page. She cleared her throat.

“You changed so much since high school… I’m glad you see it that way, Y/N.”

You looked down at your hands. It’s all thanks to him.

Just as if it were on purpose, the alarm on her table rang.

“Well,” she sighed, turning the alarm off. “Your time’s up.”

You stood up, and you shook Dr. Watson’s hand.

“Thank you, VP.”

“Stop calling me that.”

You laughed. She smiled at you the whole time you went out her office, paid at the reception, then stepped out the building.

It was a warm, summer’s day.

And it was just as warm within your heart.

You breathed in.

“Dick?”

The voice at the other end of the line was rushing to get somewhere quiet. You, still standing outside the office, held your phone tightly to your ear.

“Hi, Y/N. Is everything okay?”

“Yes…”

You thought it was going to make things easier. And somehow, in a way, it did.

“I just got out of therapy.”

“How’d it go?”

You licked your lips. “Better than I expected, I guess?”

“Yeah, well, I thought you’d need some help to get your head straight. Figure things out.”

“It helped remembering how I got here in the first place…”

“Of course. I’m glad it went well.”

The question was itching in your throat.

“How is he?”

You heard Dick sigh.

“Well, he isn’t trying to kill us on sight anymore, I suppose. He just runs away.”

You looked up at the rooftops.

“Did you find out what brought him back to life?”

“I’m still not sure. Ra’s Al Ghul definitely had something to do with it. He’s a lot stronger now. And a lot more dangerous. Only his Lazarus pit can make that happen…”

You breathed in.

“I’ll need some time. I know you called because you needed me to deal with him, Dick. And I appreciate Bruce paying for the therapy session to help me deal with… this... But I’ll have to think about it.”

“Come meet me at Pauli’s. We’ll talk it through if you want.”

You wanted this.

You had to do this.

“Okay.”

-----

I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST

-----

DON’T KILL ME ANYMORE

everyartistwas-firstanamateur @sarcasmismyfirstlove @damned-queen-of-gotham @idkmanicantenglish @wunderstell @birdy-bat-riya @get-loki@everyday-imfangirling @comic-nerd-dc @multifandoms916 @icequeen208@offendedfishnoises @egdolan @xemiefx @arkhamtoddler @elsenthal@mythicbitchx @supremehaunter @ burning-alive @lucy-roo roseangel013bf @ loxbbg reclusive-chicken-nuggethttp-cherries shadowsndaisiesriver9noble zphilophobiazannoylinglyaries @knightfall05x @l-horizon11

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x reader angst #jason todd angst #jason todd fluff #robin #dc comics #batarella #batarella fluff #batarella angst #i don't hate you series #i don't hate you #jason todd x reader series #jason todd reader insert #batarella series

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kaitycole · 4 years ago

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Two Worlds Collide

Summary: Liam and Luke talk, Liam visits his mother’s actual resting spot and Liam goes back to Walker Ranch.

Word Count: 2014

Pairings: Drake x Riley, Jackson x Eleanor

Warnings: Mentions of character death, loss of a mother,

A/N: Just a reminder, here’s a link to my character profiles if you’re interested. You learn somethings about a few that won’t be written directly in the series: here.

Song Choice: n/a

Part 18 of WP. To catch up, read here.

It doesn’t take Luke long at all to find Riley on social media. It also didn’t hurt that she seemed to lack privacy settings. He was a bit shocked at how quickly she replied and gave him the information he inquired. So here he sits, a foreign number on his phone waiting to be filed. Call or text? Most people his age text; the thoughts of holding a verbal conversation was just anxiety inducing. However, would a king text? Just thinking like this caused Luke to short circuit. He decides to leave the decision up to his older brother.

Luke: It’s Luke, can we talk? (8:40 am)

Liam scrunches his face when he hears his personal cellphone start to buzz. There were only a handful of people who had the number and only a few of them actually used it. He almost ignores the unsaved number but doesn’t.

“Uhm, excuse me.” Liam stands up from the kitchen table, leaving the breakfast Riley has prepared and steps outside.

He starts typing before deleting it and starting over. He does this a few times before giving up momentarily. He really wasn’t someone who enjoyed texting, there was too much left unknown about tone and meaning. It was usually only Riley that he’d even humor texting back half the time, but he wasn’t sure about Luke.

Liam: What would you like to talk about? (8:51 am)

Luke is pacing around his room, worried he might have offended his brother. Maybe he should’ve asked Riley, or maybe she had sent him another message and he missed it. Quickly switching back to the social media app, he scrolls but finds no message detailing whether or not he should text or call Liam.

Part of him wants to just go back in time and not have sent the message, but when his phone finally buzzes, he feels relief.

Luke: There’s somewhere I’d like to show you. Are you free? (8:54 am)

Liam looks at his screen, sitting down on the back-porch steps. He really wasn’t ready to go back to the ranch or to even see Jackson. Drake had just barely forgiven him for punching Jackson and he’s sure if it wasn’t for Riley, Drake wouldn’t have been so understanding.

But at the same time, he really doesn’t want to disappoint his brother.

Liam: I don’t think I should be around Jackson today. I am sorry. (9:02 am)

Luke figured that would be the case which is why he has no plans on them being at the ranch, to be honest he doesn’t want to be around his father himself.

Luke: Good thing where we are going isn’t near the ranch, eh? Wanna go? (9:06 am)

Liam: Where should I pick you up? (9:07 am)

Liam shakes his head with a laugh, if looks didn’t prove they were related, the clear evidence of this mother’s laidback attitude surely would.

* * “It’s just up here, around this corner.” Luke says to Bastien as they drive silently. Shortly after Luke had given Liam the address of the corner store he had been waiting at, he was picked up and the two brothers started their journey.

The ride, for the most part, is silent, the directions Luke gives the guard being the only ones spoken, but it’s comfortable. There’s something about being around each other that both Luke and Liam enjoy.

“This is it. We can walk from here.” Luke says, rushing to take his seatbelt off and jump out the door just as Bastien pulls the car to a stop.

“Walk? Are you sure about this, Your Majesty?” Bastien doesn’t even try to mask his hesitation; Liam had refused to allow the guard to do any investigating/background checks on his younger brother, though the king already knew he had them waiting if he ever wanted them.

“I’m not going to take him out in a cemetery, how morbid.” Luke teases and Liam fails at holding in a chuckle; Bastien just glares.

“It’s fine, Bas.” Liam rests a calming hand on the guard’s shoulder before looking at Luke, “lead the way before you give my best guard a heart attack.”

Luke tilts is head to the right, “this way.”

They share a brief amount of small talk, mostly about things they recall about their mother. Luke has more memories but they both just find comfort in hearing about their mother, Luke asks a little about this Leo he heard about the other day.

“He seems like the opposite of you.”

Liam laughs, “I hear that a lot. But he can be a really decent guy when he wants to.”

“Here we are.” Luke points at the freshly cleaned gravesite. Liam feels a knot form in his throat as he tries to swallow it, his heart drops.

When he learned his mother had left Cordonia, he felt a relief when he went to her grave in the royal cemetery. To be completely honest, he had felt silly for all the years of going there to talk when in reality he was talking to an empty casket. But here, now, this was it. She really was here, there was no more hopeful thinking that she was still alive somewhere, this casket was full.

Liam feels himself get uneasy, his legs act as if they might give out, causing him to extend a hand to press it against the tree nearby. He’s not sure why, but he feels sick and he for a brief moment regrets not begging Olivia to accompany him; he knows it’s wrong to put that emotional burden on her, but in this instance, he needs no one but her. Luke clearly picks up on him unease and reaches out for his brother.

“I’m sorry, if it’s too much, I can go get Bastien.”

“No, no I’m fine.” He clears his throat, “I just realized that she’s really here. At home, it’s empty, but this one isn’t.”

It finally dawns on Luke that all the years that he had Eleanor, Liam grieved her. Liam didn’t get birthdays and holidays with his warm and loving mother, but instead he only had the comfort of what he thought was her resting place. He knows that Liam already told him that he doesn’t blame him, that the decision was between their parents, but how can he not feel guilty in some way? How can he just not feel as if he’s part of the reason his older brother grew up without a mom, how his other brother and sister grew up with their dad.

“I’ll uh, give you some time.” Luke waits for Liam to nod before he walks a little bit away, stopping when he sees Bastien walking towards him.

“How is he?” Bastien doesn’t look at Luke, rather his gaze is trained on Liam. It hurt him to see the King like this, he’s known him for years, watched him grow up, and Bastien himself had also mourned the loss of the Queen and guardsman. He’s been trained in various fighting styles, both offensive and defensive types, but he didn’t know anything to help the King right now.

“Better than I would be.” His voice cracks which gets Bastien’s attention, “I don’t know how he doesn’t hate me or maybe he’s just that good at lying.” “King Liam doesn’t lie.” Bastien’s voice is steady, his words clear and concise. “He’s a fair person, so if he said he doesn’t hate you then he simply doesn’t. There’s no reason for him to, is there?”

“It’s my fault he lost his mom.”

“Children often end up carrying the burdens of their parents’ decisions. Liam understand that more than most.”

Luke looks at the black-haired man in a suit, feeling an odd sense of relief even though his words were a bit riddle-like. He stands there next to Bastien, silently, allowing Liam the time to actually finally grieve.

* * “I’ve been doing this for years, but this time it feels awkward.” He laughs, looking at the tombstone with his mother’s name. This time is different than all the times he visited her so-called grave in Cordonia, this time she was actually here which makes him feel suddenly self-conscious about talking to her. Not to mention he knows Bastien and Luke are close by which just adds to the anxiety.

“I know I couldn’t possibly understand what you went through, how scared you must have been especially of Constantine. But that doesn’t mean I’m not mad at you because part of me is. You just left me, left me with him all alone and came here to raise your new family.” Tears start to slip down his cheeks, part of him hating the fact that he’s mad at the one woman he’s always held up.

“I won’t understand why you made the decisions that you did nor can I judge the ones you made, but I’m struggling to give that same curtesy to Jackson. You would probably tell me to judge you both equally since you were both involved in the decisions made, but I can’t. Everyone says that I was born to be King and a fair ruler,” he trails off, “oh yeah, I’m the King, Mom. Leo abdicated.”

“But how am I fair when I can’t be fair in a personal matter? Though you’d probably tell me that it’s normal to not think clearly when personal feelings are in play, that there’s councils for those moments, but where’s my council for this? I don’t want your memory tarnished in Cordonia, but other than Olivia, I have no one to talk to at court that I trust with this.”

Olivia expressed hesitation on him even coming, which is why he’s avoided calling her. Riley also didn’t care for Jackson, so she wasn’t exactly as third party as he needed nor was Drake who in Liam’s opinion was too caught up on the fact his dad was alive rather than what his dad did all those years ago.

Liam starts crying, not really caring to hide it. He wasn’t in Cordonia, he isn’t King right now, he doesn’t need to appear strong when he’s falling apart inside. He raises his hand to place it on the top of the tombstone, dragging it down slowly to trace the engraved letters of her name. His voice breaks as the sobs wedge their way in between his words, “I needed you…I need you, Mom.”

He leans his head back, letting out a deep breath and taking one in, trying to calm himself. He realizes that he never really cried at her grave in Cordonia, only ever at her portrait and maybe some how he knew, but he thinks it’s mostly because kings don’t show their emotions in public. Standing up, he pats the tombstone, realizing who he really needs to talk to about all of this, who can actually give him the answers that he needs.

* * “You know, today’s been pretty emotional, you can always come back tomorrow.” Luke tries to reason with Liam, mostly wanting the chance to talk to Jackson before Liam does. Though Luke can’t be sure if Jackson would even be telling the truth if he talked to Luke separately or all of them together.

“As much as the idea of a lengthy stay is ideal, I do have a country to run so I can’t drag out these things.” “Oh, yeah.” Luke is still struggling to comprehend his eldest brother’s life and title. Maybe he was being selfish, but all he really wanted was to sit down and just chat with him, like brothers do, right?

Liam smile, patting his younger brother’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, regardless of the continent I plan on being a good big brother.”

Luke looks away, cheeks blushing before he shakes off Liam’s hand, “I wasn’t worried.”

“Luke, where on earth have you been?” Jackson comes rushing out the front door, ruining the small moment between the brothers before his eyes land on Liam and he stops. “Liam.”

“Jackson, I think we have a lot to talk about.”

#witness protection #witness protection au fic #the royal romance #choices #trr Liam rys #trr Jackson walker #trr Eleanor rys #trr drake walker #oc luke walker

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ireadyabooks · 4 years ago

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Books to Read After Watching Julie and the Phantoms

By Mackenzie Cutruzzula

First things first...

If you’re anything like me you haven’t been able to get the songs from Julie and the Phantoms out of your head. Whether you love music, a good ghost story, or a little bit of both, these books are on the edge of great.

Julie and the Phantoms: The Edge of Great by Micol Ostow (On Sale December 29)

After the passing of her mom, Julie has lost her passion for music and is on the verge of being kicked out of her performing arts high school. That is, until she makes the ultimate comeback with her new band, Julie and the Phantoms. There’s only one catch: all of her bandmates are ghosts.

Back in the 1990s, Luke, Reggie, and Alex were on the cusp of rock stardom with their band, Sunset Curve, before an unfortunate encounter with Los Angeles street food brought their rock band dreams—and lives—to an end. Now, with Julie as their lead singer, the guys have a second chance to make it big and to help Julie discover the real power of music.

This novel based on Season 1 of the hit Netflix series is told in alternating points of view and include a full-color photo insert and exclusive story content not seen on the show!

If you love the music of Julie and the Phantoms try these reads:

P.S. I Like You by Kasie West

While spacing out in Chemistry class, Lily scribbles some of her favorite song lyrics onto her desk. The next day, she finds that someone has continued the lyrics on the desk, and added a message to her. Soon, Lily and her anonymous pen pal are exchanging full-on letters -- sharing secrets, recommending bands, and opening up to each other. Lily realizes she's kind of falling for this letter writer. Only who is he? As Lily attempts to unravel the mystery, and juggle school, friends, crushes, and her crazy family, she discovers that matters of the heart can't always be spelled out...Kasie West brings irresistible wit, warmth, and sparkle to this swoon-worthy story of love showing up when you least expect it.

Turn It Up by Jen Calonita

The Nightingales are in a serious funk. Bradley Academy's all-girl a cappella group used to be the pride of the sunshine state, but the Nightingales have recently fallen out of harmony. Best friends and co-captains Lidia Sato and Sydney Marino haven't been speaking ever since a boy came between them. And not just any boy-none other than Griffin Mancini, the lead singer of Bradley Academy's smug all-boy a capella group, the Kingfishers.The Nightingales have no chance of making it to the big state final if their captains are at each other's throats. Their only hope is new girl Julianna Ramirez. But in addition to her serious pipes, she has some serious stage fright.The Nightingales will have to come together if they want to shine at the upcoming competition and restore the group to its former glory.

K-Pop Confidential by Stephen Lee

When Candace Park secretly enters a global audition held by the same music label that made the K-pop boy band SLK famous, the last thing she expects is to actually get a coveted spot in their trainee program. And convincing her strict parents to let her to go is all but impossible ... although it's nothing compared to what comes next. Under the strict supervision of her instructors at the label's headquarters in Seoul, Candace must perfect her performance skills to within an inch of her life, learn to speak Korean fluently, and navigate the complex hierarchies of her fellow trainees, all while following the strict rules of the industry. Rule number one? NO DATING, which becomes impossible to follow when she meets a dreamy boy trainee. And in the all-out battle to debut, Candace is in danger of planting herself in the middle of a scandal lighting up the K-pop fandom around the world.

Kill the Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky

Just know from the start that it wasn't supposed to go like this. All we wanted was to get near them. That's why we got a room in the hotel where they were staying. We were not planning to kidnap one of them. Especially not the most useless one. But we had him-his room key, his cell phone, and his secrets. We were not planning on what happened next. We swear.

Muted by Tami Charles (On Sale February 2, 2021)

For seventeen-year-old Denver, music is everything. Writing, performing, and her ultimate goal: escaping her very small, very white hometown. So Denver is more than ready on the day she and her best friends Dali and Shak sing their way into the orbit of the biggest R&B star in the world, Sean "Mercury" Ellis. Merc gives them everything: parties, perks, wild nights -- plus hours and hours in the recording studio. Even the painful sacrifices and the lies the girls have to tell are all worth it. Until they're not. Denver begins to realize that she's trapped in Merc's world, struggling to hold on to her own voice. As the dream turns into a nightmare, she must make a choice: lose her big break, or get broken. Inspired by true events, Muted is a fearless exploration of the dark side of the music industry, the business of exploitation, how a girl's dreams can be used against her -- and what it takes to fight back.

Spin by Lamar Giles

When rising star Paris Secord (aka DJ ParSec) is found dead on her turntables, it sends the local music scene reeling. No one is feeling that grief more than her shunned pre-fame best friend, Kya, and ParSec's chief groupie, Fuse -- two sworn enemies who happened to be the ones who discovered her body. The police have few leads, and when the trail quickly turns cold, the authorities don't seem to be pushing too hard to investigate further. But nobody counted on Paris's deeply loyal fans, ParSec Nation, or the outrage that would drive Fuse and Kya to work together. As ParSec Nation takes to social media and the streets in their crusade for justice, Fuse and Kya start digging into Paris's past, stumbling across a deadly secret. With new info comes new motives. New suspects. And a fandom that will stop at nothing in their obsessive quest for answers, not even murder...

If you love the ghosts in Julie and the Phantoms and are looking for something a little spooky, try these reads:

City of Ghosts by Victoria Schwab

Ever since Cass almost drowned (okay, she did drown, but she doesn't like to think about it), she can pull back the Veil that separates the living from the dead . . . and enter the world of spirits. Her best friend is even a ghost. So things are already pretty strange. But they're about to get much stranger. When Cass's parents start hosting a TV show about the world's most haunted places, the family heads off to Edinburgh, Scotland. Here, graveyards, castles, and secret passageways teem with restless phantoms. And when Cass meets a girl who shares her "gift," she realizes how much she still has to learn about the Veil -- and herself. And she'll have to learn fast. The city of ghosts is more dangerous than she ever imagined.

All the Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater

Any visitor to Bicho Raro, Colorado, is likely to find a landscape of dark saints, forbidden love, scientific dreams, miracle-mad owls, estranged affections, one or two orphans, and a sky full of watchful desert stars. At the heart of this place you will find the Soria family, who all have the ability to perform unusual miracles. And at the heart of this family are three cousins longing to change its future: Beatriz, the girl without feelings, who wants only to be free to examine her thoughts; Daniel, the Saint of Bicho Raro, who performs miracles for everyone but himself; and Joaquin, who spends his nights running a renegade radio station under the name Diablo Diablo. They are all looking for a miracle. But the miracles of Bicho Raro are never quite what you expect.

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

Bestowed by the ancient goddess of death, Yadriel and the gifted members of his Latinx community can see spirits: women have the power to heal bodies and souls, while men can release lost spirits to the afterlife. But Yadriel, a trans boy, has never been able to perform the tasks of the brujas - because he is a brujo. When his cousin suddenly dies, Yadriel becomes determined to prove himself a real brujo. With the help of his cousin and best friend Maritza, he performs the ritual himself, and then sets out to find the ghost of his murdered cousin and set it free. However, the ghost he summons is not his cousin. It's Julian Diaz, the resident bad boy of his high school, and Julian is not about to go quietly into death. He's determined to find out what happened and tie off some loose ends before he leaves. Left with no choice, Yadriel agrees to help Julian, so that they can both get what they want. But the longer Yadriel spends with Julian, the less he wants to let him leave.

The Ghost and the Goth by Stacey Kade

After a close encounter with a bus, Alona Dare goes from homecoming queen to Queen of the Dead. She’s stuck as a ghost in the land of the living with no sign of the big, bright light to take her to a better place. To make matters worse, the only person who might be able to help her is Will Killian, a total loser outcast. More than anything, Will wishes he didn’t have the rare ability to communicate with the dead, especially the former mean girl of Groundsboro High. He’s not filling out any volunteer forms to help her cross to the other side, though it would bring him some welcome peace and quiet. Can they get over their mutual distrust -- and quasi-attraction -- to work together? Readers of this spirited paranormal comedy won't want this odd couple to ever part.

#I read YA #blog #K-pop Confidential #kill the boy band #julie and the phantoms #unsaid emily #the edge of great #spin #all the crooked saints #city of ghosts #muted #turn it up #p. s. i like you

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tatttletalesocial · 4 years ago

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Moving On | Mystery Skulls Animated

The shop's doorbell rings and Arthur sits up from his place on the ground, ever attentive.

I walk to the Toyota and stand beside it. Arthur seems to notice me because he stops work and pushes himself out on the creeper.

"Arthur," I sigh. "You can't work all day. You need some sleep."

Irritated, he sighs, sits up and rubs his eyes.

He signs himself out early.

*****

When we get home, Arthur immediately disappears into his room, avoiding my violin stand in the hall. Our home is cozy like that, packed with knick knacks, with memories.

I don't follow him. It's three hours later when Vivi finally saunters up and knocks.

"Artie? You wanna come out for dinner? It's pizza night tonight."

Good on you, Vivi. That will bring him out.

"Gimme a minute," comes Arthur's strained voice.

He emerges twenty minutes later for dinner, eyes bloodshot. Dios mio, is he tired.

When I open the door and look through, Arthur's sprawled on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Thick tear trails run down his face and his pillow is wet.

He doesn't respond. I sigh and remain, waiting for the silent tears to stop.

When he finally wipes them away, he doesn't talk to me. He rolls over and sets his alarm for 7:30am—that's the usual. His shift starts at 8:00.

He kicks off his shoes and flicks the lamp off. I leave then.

He doesn't even change into pyjamas.

****

Arthur drops the keys back into the customer's hand and flashes him a smile. The garage is now empty, all distractions gone.

"Mrs Pepper," Arthur greets her, ever formal.

"Arthur, please, it's Camila," she smiles, like she does every time.

"Camila," Uncle Lance says, stepping forward. "'Scuse me fer askin', but what're yer here for? Yer car broke down too?"

"No," she assures him, throwing a wink at Arthur. "But I'm sure your nephew would have no trouble fixing it if it were."

"Tell me 'bout it," Lance grunts. "Artie here's been takin' half the damn cars that drive in!"

She smiles kindly at him. "You must be so proud of how hard he works. My Lewis used to cook for us all the time."

I smile at her, warm pride in my chest.

"Well, I came here to invite you two to dinner," Mama continues. "And Vivienne too, of course. Any friend of Lewis' is a friend of ours."

"Thank you, Mrs Pepper," Arthur says weakly. She gives him a light squeeze on the shoulder.

"Artie, why don't yer go home."

Arthur turns to Lance in surprise. "But my shift ends at five."

"And yer been workin' yer arse off," Lance retorts. "Yer needa rest sometime. 'Sides, I wanna have a talk with Camila. You go home now."

Arthur does what he's told. Thankfully.

*****

Tonight plays out the same as before. The same as every night.

After dinner I go back to his room to check on him. He's crying again.

"Oh, Artie," I sigh, but I leave him alone this time. Instead I take notice of the photos on the walls. All three of us, mucking around. The walls at the garage are bare.

It seems like hours before he quiets and kicks off his shoes. He sets his alarm to 6:00am, and I raise my eyebrows. He sleeps.

*****

He reappears a few minutes later with roses—my favourite colour, too. He hops in and I breathe in the scent of the purple blooms as we cruise down the road, the town waking from slumber around us.

Finally we pull up to a tall iron fence, and he cuts the engine, grabbing the flowers and jumping out. I follow him tentatively into the cemetery—why here?

We weave through gravemarkers, past multiple rows, Arthur precise in his direction. Eventually, we stop by a black marble headstone, and I bend to read the inscription.

Here lies LEWIS PEPPER Beloved son, brother and friend.

1998—2019

It's been a year. Arthur sets the roses down and I see the tears. My heart sinks.

All those nights awake. . . the never-ending work. . . the fights. . . the tears. . .

Because of me?

I kneel in front of him. I know he can't see me, so I take his face into my hands. He seems to shudder.

"We love you," I tell him, sincere, and press my forehead to his. "And we want you to be happy."

He closes his eyes. "We love you," he echoes. "And I know you want me to be happy."

He sighs, and stands, walking away. I take one last sweet smell of the roses and follow, leaving them to wither. Some things are more important than rest.

This is a piece I wrote for an hour-long exam (since edited a little in my leisure time, but I did try to keep it as close to the time-restrained original as possible). The prompt was dichotomy between settings but it ended up more as an experiment with perspectives.

Find it on: Archive Of Our Own Wattpad

#mystery skulls animated #mystery skulls #msa #arthur kingsmen #lewis pepper #vivi yukino #msa arthur #msa lewis #mystery skulls arthur #mystery skulls lewis #mystery skulls animated arthur #mystery skulls animated lewis #writing #writing prompts #writing prompt

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idolistic-dreams · 5 years ago

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Lurking in the Dark; 8

♥︎ Genre: Vampire au, lots of angst, fluff, maybe some smut later on.

♥︎ Pairing: Vampire! Jaehyun x Reader

♥︎ Warnings: Language, Violence, Blood.

♥︎ Word Count: 3K

♥︎ A/N: I love this part honestly. I’m excited to get into what happens next ~

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8

Spinoffs following the series; Serious // Hesitation // Believe (happens before part 8 but not needed )

A deep sigh leaves your lips as a flash of lightning is quickly followed by loud thunder that shakes the windows. With a wince of pain you set the box down which you had carried into your new room. A soft knock on the door brings your attention over to the three other girls standing in your room.

“You need to talk to him…” your cousin Melody frowns. She had recently transferred schools and helped to find a bigger place to move into after meeting her own mate, Johnny. Another loud crack of thunder shakes the apartment. You shake your head and look out at the storm.

“How can I? They don’t exactly have phones to talk to us and we can’t go to the cemetery, bad weather or not,” the ache in your chest grows causing you to gasp.

“Y/N, you’re hurting… badly. If you’re hurting you know he is too,” Hana walks over and sits next to you on the floor, pushing some boxes aside. You lean tiredly onto your best friend.

“The guys are coming later to help us unpack. We can tell them to get Jaehyun for you,” Prita sits in front of you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. You shake your head.

“No. If he wanted to fix this he could. He lied to me, they all lied to us, and I understand that it was for our safety, but you know how I am. I don’t like to be told what to do, I like to take care of myself and I also like the truth. If he had just told me he that we couldn’t come to the cemetery for our protection instead of sending us off and telling us to stay out I wouldn’t have gotten so upset. We have a right as their mates to know what’s happening, don’t you think?” You take a deep breath as you finish your rant.

“Look, I may have gotten here late to the game, and I haven’t even been to this place yet, but Y/N does have a point. I’m a lot like my cousin and I’d want to know what was going on if it somehow involved me,” Melody sits at your other side, rubbing your back soothingly. The front door suddenly opens and shuts, and four guys walk into the room before pausing and looking at the four girls sitting on the ground.

“T-Taeil what are you doing here?” you look concerned. He was known for being the one who’d help take care of people when something was wrong, Taeyong’s right hand man. Something must have gone wrong because he had never come to visit before.

“Is there somewhere comfortable where we can all sit down? I have to talk to you guys and Jeno is on his way with Mei,” he questions. You nod slowly.

“Y-yeah… we have the couches set up in the living room, we can all sit in there,” you frown, getting up along with the other girls.

Once everyone was sat down in the living room, it didn’t take long for Jeno and Mei to show up. They join the group and Taeil stands up in front of you all.

“So, as you girls have figured out, we don’t include you in our meetings. We’ve kept important information from all of you, and it’s been more than this one time you’re thinking of you just didn’t find out about it. There’s a reason we’ve kept you all away from that part of our lives,” he sighs and looks at you, making sure you’re all listening.

“Wait so you’re telling me we’re still being kept out of the loop?” you whine, now even more upset.

“Yes, let me continue before you get upset,” he looks at you, waiting to see if you’d speak again before he starts back up, “When this group first started to get together, Taeyong was already a vampire, so was I. This was a long time ago, and over the years we met, or turned, everyone who is in the clan now. However, before we met any of you, before Jeno and the rest of your friend were turned, even before Johnny was a part of the clan, we had let our mates be a part of our business, human or vampire.”

“So, what changed?” Hana asks the question you were all thinking.

“Taeyong did,” Yuta’s voice is grim, like he’s remembering a horrible tragedy.

“Taeyong? You mean he wasn’t always that pissy?” You scoff, finding it hard to believe that the leader who barely said two words to you and seemed to glare at you whenever you’d been around could be anything more than rude and unwelcoming.

“No, he wasn’t. He’s a good guy… he just has a hard time letting people in now. Anyway, after what happened he stopped letting human mates be involved in meetings and being put into our business. He does this because it’s too much of a risk. He doesn’t want anyone to go through what he’s been through. What he still goes through,” Taeil finishes. It only leaves you with more questions.

“Wait, but what exactly happened that made him change?” Prita was looking more at Yuta than Taeil as she asked.

“He lost his mate,” you could see Yuta’s grip tighten on Prita’s should where his hand was as he uttered the words.

“She’s dead? Look, I’m happy with my new relationship and all, but uh… I’m too young to die,” Melody laughs a forced laugh. She’s much more tense.

“Calm down, she’s not dead,” Taeil rolls his eyes, “She got hurt. She was human and the injuries were too severe the only way Taeyong could save her was to turn her. The problem with that was that after she turned, she was upset that she had even been put in the position to get hurt in the first place. It was actually pretty similar to what’s going on now.”

“You mean other vampires?” a cough rattles your chest causing you to wince and another loud burst of thunder almost drowns out your question.

“Yeah, it was another group like this one, back in 1990. We thought they’d be okay with humans, most clans are,” Yuta starts.

“Some clans hold on to the old ways though. The fear from the 1700 and 1800’s of being killed if anyone found out about us still lingers. They aren’t too many of them, but they’re dangerous,” Taeil finishes.

“Like the group that’s in town now… haven’t any of them had mates they found while they were human?” Hana asks, one of her hands clasped tightly with Sicheng’s.

“Well yes, but with these clans when they find mates that are human, they usually just turn them. This group in particular has been together since 1747 and they haven’t added anyone else to the group unless they were previously mated vampires since 1793,” Taeil looks almost disappointed as he says this.

“Great, so you’re dealing with a bunch of stiff old idiots who can’t move into the future,” you scoff, causing some of your friends around you to giggle.

“Hey, watch who you’re calling old,” Yuta groans and Taeil chucks, the mood in the room slightly lifted. Another flash of lightning has more thunder following closely behind and the room is quiet for a few moments after.

“So, this other group, the one from 1990… what happened?” You break the silence. Taeil turns to you and sighs.

“We had a meeting one day, everyone was there. All of the guys and our mates were gathered, talking about a new group that was passing through on their way to new territory,” he shakes his head, “We didn’t know that they were one of these groups so we didn’t think anything of having the mates around. At the time, Taeyong was the only one who had a human mate, she didn’t want to be turned until she graduated from university.”

“I haven’t even thought about becoming a vampire,” Prita mumbles so quietly you almost don’t hear it. You can tell Yuta did from the way he stiffens.

“The group got there, and we were ready to greet them and tell them about the area, where and how to hunt in our territory so that nothing would go wrong…” Taeil pauses as another crash of thunder shakes the room. You were surprised the power hadn’t gone out yet.

“Everything went wrong that night,” Yuta says dryly, “We almost lost Ten’s mate, Yoona. She was the one who went to take Elena somewhere safe when things started to go south.”

“When the other group realized that we had a human with us they freaked out, thought Elena was waiting for the right moment to rat everyone out and get them killed,” Taeil frowns, “After that it’s kind of a blur but we managed to take most of them down, two of them got away. Elena and Yoona had been thrown into a wall and Yoona was fine, but…”

“Elena was hurt, really bad. Yoona kept protecting her though. So much so it almost got her killed in the process,” Yuta follows up.

“The only way to save her was to turn her. When she woke up and found out, Elena was pissed to say the least. She blamed it on Taeyong for letting her be there. She thought he should have known the other clan was against humans,” Taeil looks at the ground, his fists clenched.

“Yeah, so she ran off and she’s been gone ever since. It’s been about 30 years,” Yuta finished the story.

“Wait so if she’s been gone all those years, how is Taeyong okay?” You tilt your head, thinking about how you’d been away from Jaehyun for weeks and were slowly getting more worn down.

“It affects human mates more than vampires… we’re immortal, you aren’t so at some point... humans die. He’s still hurting, he’s just learned out to hide it. After a while the bond is weakened anyway so he isn’t physically affected, just more mentally and emotionally,” Yuta shrugs. You feel the tug in your chest hurt even more at his words. Would it really kill you to be away from Jaehyun?

“If… if I could die then why hasn’t Jaehyun come to see me?” You feel your eyes water up, voice quivering. You had been waiting for him to come apologize. You didn’t think he would actually stay away when you told him you weren’t coming back. You expected him to fight for you, not let you die.

“Jae’s been wanting to talk to you for a while, but he’s trying to protect you so he stays away. One of these other vampires has taken a liking to him and has been following him around, it’s actually pretty annoying. Jaehyun is rarely alone and if he tries to go anywhere outside of where we stay this guy follows,” Jeno growls. He feels terrible, you were one of his closest friends and he could see how badly you were hurting.

“Why are they still here anyway? Weren’t they supposed to be gone a week or so ago?” Mei sighs and looks over at you in concern, “I mean honestly, I don’t think Y/N can go much longer without seeing him. I barely lasted a week before I was at the point of passing out just from walking when Jeno turned me away.”

“That’s actually why Taeil is here to explain everything. They won’t leave. A few of them did for a day or so, and when they came back they said the place they were going to originally had been taken over by a larger clan,” Johnny rolls his eyes as if he doesn’t believe that, “I think they just got too comfortable here.”

“But didn’t you say that they don’t take in people who don’t have mates? So why would they wanted to stay were a bunch of new, unmated vampires are?” Melody asks Taeil.

“Yeah, they don’t. We think they’re staying because they want to try to take over our spot,” he answers, “This is a good area, a lot of teenagers and university students manage to find their way into the cemetery to do dumb shit which makes them easy targets for blood.”

“Whoops,” You, Jeno, Hana, and Sicheng all say around the same moment.

“Is there no way to make them leave?” You ask, you wanted to see Jaehyun, to apologize. You wanted to fix things and tell him you’re not going anywhere. You wanted to be his.

“Not without suspicion. They’re going to wonder why we want them out so badly. Most clans usually just let others stay as long as they need, but with clans like this it’s more difficult,” Taeil puts a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“I need him here with me. It’s not fair. I shouldn’t have told him I’d never come back,” tears start to fall, and your words come in chocked sobs. You were both hurting, and it felt like it was all your fault. You think that maybe if you hadn’t pushed him away and just listened to him things would be okay.

“Y/N, it’s not your fault. This guy would be following him even if you two hadn’t had that argument,” he tries to comfort you, moving his hand to rub your back soothingly. Melody takes one of your hands in hers and squeezes it reassuringly. Another flash of lightning seems to light up the whole room and the thunder sounds louder than ever causing some of you to jump in fright as the power shuts off.

“Oh great, just great,” you hiccup as your sobs calm down. A sudden knock sounds at the door.

“Who the hell is that? We aren’t expecting anyone else” Prita whispers. You all stay still and quiet as can be. There’s another knock, slightly louder this time. Taeil walks to the apartment door slowly, looking through the peep hole. He looks shocked after he sees who it is and struggles as to whether or not he should open the door.

“Guys I swear no one followed me, Taeyong and the others have them distracted, let me in. Please, this is my only chance to see her,” the all too familiar voice calls from behind the door. Your eyes widen and you stand from the couch, looking at Taeil.

“Let him in,” you say sternly. Taeil hesitates for another moment.

“Please, I don’t have time for this,” Jaehyun begs. Taeil finally opens the door and your rush past him, flinging yourself into Jaehyun’s arms. He drops down to his knees with you in his arms, holding you like you would disappear if he let go.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it Jae,” you cry into him, arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. He shushes you and runs a comforting hand through your hair.

“No, I’m sorry—” Jaehyun is quickly cut off by Taeil who was still holding the door open.

“Can you two come inside already?” He rolls his eyes. Jaehyun stands up with you still clutching onto him. You wrap your legs around his waist and he carries you inside. Taeil shuts the door behind you after making sure no one was in the hall.

“I don’t have long they’re going to wonder where I ran off to soon,” Jaehyun sighs, sitting you on the couch where you had previously been. He kneels in front of you and pushes a strand of hair behind your ear, “Gosh, Y/N… I’m so sorry. I did this to you.”

“Jae, stop. There’s nothing you could have done, Taeil and Yuta told us everything,” you smile softly at him. He frowns and scans over your tired looking features.

“I should have tried to get away sooner,” you roll your eyes as he speaks.

“Not if you’re being stalked by some crazy vampire,” you giggle, trying to lighten the mood again. He lets out a light chuckle and puts a hand on the back of your neck. You both look at each other intently before he makes his move. Your eyes flutter shut as his lips meet yours in a tender kiss. In that moment, everything felt like it would be okay. You felt better too. It wasn’t until Johnny let out a cough that you two pulled away from each other.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for ages,” Jaehyun sighs, still holding your face close to his. Everyone suddenly jumps as a knock sounds on the door.

“Okay now this time there really shouldn’t be anyone here,” Taeil whispers, you barely manage to hear it. He walks to the door as he had before and looks through the peep hole again. The others start to get defensive and pull you up from the couches, walking you silently to Prita’s room which was the furthest from the door.

“You girls stay here, and don’t make a sound. Got it?” Johnny eyes all of you. You watch as Jaehyun walks back into the living room with Jeno and Sicheng.

“Got it,” You all whisper as he shuts the door and walks off with Yuta. You can hear the front door open and voices a second later, but you’re unable to make out words. The five of you sit huddled on the floor looking between each other and the door of the room, waiting for someone to return. Suddenly the front door is slammed an footsteps rush through the hall to the door. Taeil opens the door, looking irritated.

“We have to go. The other clan is asking where we all went and is trying to look for us. Do us a favor and don’t leave the apartment for a few days for your safety,” he frowns before turning and leaving as the others had shortly before him.

“W-wait—” Melody calls out, but the door shuts somewhat loudly behind him.

“Well… I guess we’re ordering takeout the next few days,” Prita mutters.

“They didn’t eve say bye,” Hana rolls her eyes and pouts.

“And I guess I’m crashing here with you until they tell us it’s okay to leave,” Mei sighs.

“Something is wrong,” you look out of the window but can barely see anything with the storm still raging and the power still out. The pit in your stomach grows, “Really wrong…”

#lurking in the dark #lurking #nct imagine #nct au #nct vampire au #kpop vampire au #vampire au #kpop imagines #kpop imagine #vampire jaehyun #jaehyun imagine #jaehyun imagines #nct imagines

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #453

“you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave”

What health problems run in your family? Diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol, depression, cancer, a LOT more that I'm forgetting. Where did you last have sex? I have zero memory of the last time that was, so I wouldn't know. But probably a bed? How long have you known your best friend? Since we were around 8 and 11. What’s something people criticize you the most for? That I rely on the computer too much. Are spiders scary? I mean some are, but they're also extremely fascinating animals that I really enjoy observing. Cheetos. Poofy or regular? Regular, for sure. The poofy ones get stuck in your teeth SO badly. What's your favorite music genre? Heavy metal. Be honest. What are you most afraid of? Doing nothing with my life. What's your favourite type of survey to take? The ones with really random questions that you don't see in every single one. However, I don't like "random" to where the questions are just inapplicable to almost everyone. I also enjoy questions that allow me to vent about stuff I have going on. If I'm in the right mood, deep questions are great, too. What was the last topic you read about? In detail? I don't know. What shirt do you wear the most? Besides tank tops, my Cloak "equal in our bones" Day of the Dead shirt. What's your go-to order from KFC? I don't eat at KFC. Did you have hand-me-down clothes when you were growing up? Yes. What was the last song you listened to? Well, NOW I'm obsessed with Violet Orlandi's cover of "Hotel California." I keep finding new songs that I just loop for days, man, lol. I'm still not over her "The Unforgiven" cover. Did you have long hair as a young kid? I did. How many songs do you know by the band you are listening to? I'm still listening to Violet's "Hotel California" cover, which is originally by The Eagles. I obviously know this song, as well as "Heartache Tonight." Probably more, just those are the two I know and like. What podcasts do you listen to, if any? I don't listen to any. What was your most recent binge watch? Gab Smolders' playthrough of Final Fantasy X. What’s the oldest thing currently in your house? Hell, possibly my bed frame. I don't know. If you use Snapchat, do you post to your story or send individual snaps more often? I don't have one. When was the last time you rolled your eyes? At what? Not too long ago. Mom said something that really annoyed me. Do you like mozzarella sticks? No. If you had to name one of your children after a friend, solely based on their name alone, who would you choose? Probably Alon. Everything about her is beautiful, ha ha. Have you ever watched anime porn? I can confidently say I have not... Are ladybugs cute? Yes! Would you wear something made from snake skin? Fuck no. I won't wear anything that comes from an animal. Will you leave the house without fragrance on? Yeah, idc. What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever done for a significant other? In art class, I made an anatomically correct heart out of clay and put it in a shadow box along with a poem as the background. I honestly really hope Jason still has it, because I worked my ass off on it. What do you think of naming your son after the father (ex. Roy Jr.): It's not my business what other parents name their kids, but for me personally, I really don't like it. Like... give your child their own identity. It also feels kinda arrogant to me? Like are you so important that you have to force your name onto your kid? Do you like Death Cab For Cutie? I only know "I Will Follow You Into the Dark," which I adore. Do walking near or past cops make you feel uncomfortable? Yes. I just feel like I'm doing something wrong somehow. Do you think stretching (or gauging) your ears is disgusting? When they get to a certain size, to me it is. Small ones are no biggie. What piercing or body modification do you think is really gross? Oh my god, those corset piercings people get on their backs. Just... no. What would you do if your bf/gf told you they were going into the army? I'd be fucking devastated, in a hypothetical relationship where we're serious. What is the nearest gas station called? Uhhhh... I forgot lol. The second-closest though, which is almost like, RIGHT beside the other one, is Sheetz. Do you think bearded dragons are cute? omg YES!!!!!!!! What is your father’s best friend’s name? Do you know them personally? I have no idea. Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? No. Are you someone who tends to take a whole lot of naps? Too many, honestly. I'm just like... always tired. What is your favorite nickname you like to be called? Why do you like it? Hm. My favorite I've ever had was "Bee," which Megan called me, but I don't like others calling me that. Ever meet someone whose house has burned down spontaneously? Yes, in middle school. Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I kinda am. I reached out to him. What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive? Guys: shoulder blades. Girls: hips. Any friends that you’d go on a date with? Yeah. I think I want to try that with Girt and see how it goes and decide what the fuck I want. Is it cute when someone calls you babe? It's funny, I used to hate that, but now I imagine I wouldn't mind? Do you like Muse? Yeah! "Unnatural Selection" and "Psycho" are especially BANGERS. What’s your favorite flavor of jello? Strawberry. What song is stuck in your head right now? I'm bingeing the absolute fuck outta the song I mentioned earlier, ha ha. Do you have a niece or nephew? I have a lot, but only three I see regularly. Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? idk What did you receive for Valentine’s Day? I think Mom got me a chocolate bar? When was the last time you went to a cemetery, and why were you there? I want to say this was many years ago when I went with Colleen to her church. Her stillborn brother was buried there. Have you ever owned a plant? What was it? I grew habaneros once, along with some sort of succulents from Colleen. What was the most interesting animal you have seen in the wild? I saw a mink jump into the river once when I was out fishing with Dad at our favorite spot. Were you born in the state you live in? Yep. Always lived here. What’s a smell that makes you feel ill? Dog shit. Do you like to sleep? Yes and no. I like falling asleep if it's quick, because I'm all comfy, but I also dread sleep because of my nightmares. Even with my mask, they're starting to become regular again. After last night's, I am legitimately beginning to fear something is psychologically wrong with me. Like, I cried to my mom. Do you like the smell of gasoline? Ugh, no. It gives me a headache. Have you lost contact with anyone you wish you haven’t? Many people. Did you give anyone his/her first kiss? No. Should you ever have gone to the hospital but didn’t? Vice versa? No. Who do you miss the most? Jason. What do you miss the most? Being happy. What is your birthstone? Do you have any jewelry with it? Amethyst. I have a really cute guardian angel pin with one given to me by my grandmother. What is the last dream you remember having? Last night was... awful. I remember Mom and I getting in a MASSIVE fight, and also literally yelling at my late beloved dog something about crushing his head in if he didn't stop barking. Like I mentioned earlier, I'm really scared something is really wrong with me. Have you had a church confirmation, bar/bat mitzvah, or something similar? Growing up Roman Catholic, I had a Confirmation ceremony. What was the last baby animal you saw? I wanna say a puppy on Facebook. A friend just got one.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''hotel california'' by the eagles

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babygirlkiki1016 · 4 years ago

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Tough Love

After what happened to Sammy's girlfriend we decided to pay our respects to her. I could hear the birds chirping as Sam, who is wearing a suit and tie, holds a bouquet of various flowers excluding roses. Me and Dean watched from afar as he walks through an otherwise deserted cemetery. From what I could see Sam sighs and stops next to a gravestone. It reads "Jessica Lee Moore, Beloved Daughter, January 24th 1984 - November 2nd 2005."

"How did she die?" I ask Dean, after a few minutes of silence.

"....She died in a fire."

"I know that...but what caused it?"

"A demon...the same one that killed our mother."

".....I'm sorry....." Dean glances over at me and puts an arm around my shoulder.

"You have nothing to be sorry about....besides, we'll get the son of a bitch." I give him a small smile, then focus back on Sam. I spot a small picture of Jessica grinning that's set into the stone above her name, then a black-and-white picture of her leaning against the stone between a white teddy bear and a wooden box with a crucifix leaning on the picture. Sam looks between the gravestone and the flowers. "I, uh..." I heard Sam laugh. "You always said roses were, were lame, so I brought you, uh..." Sam looks at the picture set into the gravestone, then looks away, choking back tears. He steps closer to the gravestone. "Jess...oh God..." Sam kneels to set down the flowers. "I should have protected you. I should have told you the truth."

I look over at Dean who is just staring at him. Pain was shown across his features, I could tell Dean did not wanna watch this. After Sam put flowers on his girlfriends grave, we went back on the road again. I was sitting in the back while the boys were in the front. Sam was asleep, at least until he jerked awake and sighs as he hears "Hot-Blooded" is playing. Sam rubs his eyes and Dean looks over, concerned.

"You okay?" I questioned, Sam glances back and then away.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Nightmare?" Dean chimes in, Sam clears his throat, signaling he doesn't wanna talk about it.

"You wanna drive for a while?" Sam laughs.

"Dean, your whole life you never once asked me that." I grin and lean forward.

"Hold on, so you've never driven the impala?"

"No, but it's ok. I'll be able to drive it one day." Dean glances over at Sam.

"Yea, still gonna kill you for that little stunt Sammy, letting her drive baby into a house. But uh....I just thought you might want to....Never mind."

"Look, guys, you're worried about me." Sam replies "I get it, and thank you, but I'm perfectly okay."

"Mm-hm." Dean agrees knowing Sams not okay, Sam grabs a map.

"All right, where are we?"

"We are just outside of Grand Junction I believe." I say. Sam folds down the map, which is of Colorado and has a large red X labeled 35-111.

"You know what? Maybe we shouldn't have left Stanford so soon." Sam admits.

"Sam, we dug around there for a week. We came up with nothing. If you wanna find the thing that killed Jessica-"

"We gotta find Dad first." Sam interrupted Dean.

"Not to be nosy but...you still didn't tell me how she died?" I ask.

"Y/n now's not the time." Dean says while looking at me through the mirror.

"....Jess, my girlfriend died stuck to the ceiling with a stab wound in her stomach while being burned.....She was killed by the demon that killed my mother."

"How can a monster be capable of something like that?"

"I don't know, but our mother's death was the whole reason dad started training us."

"Yea..which your dad kinda helped ours with the whole 'how to kill monsters' thing." Dean smiled. "If it wasn't for Y/D/N, Dad would've probably been dead by now." Sam nods in agreement.

"So..with your dad disappearing and this thing showing up again after so many years, it's no coincidence. That's for sure." I pointed out.

"Dad will have answers. He'll know what to do."

"It's weird, these coordinates he left us. This Blackwater Ridge." Sam replies.

"What about it?" Dean asked.

"There's nothing there. It's just woods." Sam puts down the map. "Why is he sending us to the middle of nowhere?"

"Sam it's not the place, it's the monster. Just like in Jericho there could be a monster we have to fight, right Dean?" However Dean stays silent and just keeps driving. For the next few hours no one says anything. I decided since it was quiet that I could get some shut eye and after a few minutes I fell asleep with my cheek planted against the window.

When I wake up, the Impala comes to a stop and is parked next to a sign that says "RANGER STATION Lost Creek Trail, Lost Creek National Forest". I follow the boys out of the car, still tired. Sam smiles at me "How did you sleep?" He asks.

"Fine, I guess."

"I think you slept more than the both of us combined." Dean jokes.

"Well see if someone would let me drive-."

"Nope never again!" Sam laughs at our little feud and we keep walking.

"So Blackwater Ridge is pretty remote." Sam says as he looks at a 3D map of the national forest, paying particular attention to the ridge labeled "BLACKWATER RIDGE" as Dean looks at the decorations. "It's cut off by these canyons here, rough terrain, dense forest, abandoned silver and gold mines all over the place."

"Dude, check out the size of this freaking bear." Dean fantasizes, me and Sam look over. Dean is looking at a framed photo of a man standing behind a much larger bear. Me and Sam go to stand next to Dean.

"Eh I've seen bigger bears." I say.

"There's no way." Dean says.

"My dad used to take me hunting, it was part of my training." I laugh. "I took down my first grizzly when I was nine."

"Well there's a dozen or more grizzlies in the area. It's no nature hike, that's for sure, at least we have an expert with us." Sam says, I just roll my eyes. A forest ranger, walks up to us when he speaks, the three of us whip around.

"Y'all aren't planning on going out near Blackwater Ridge by any chance?" The ranger wonders.

"Oh, no, sir, we're environmental study majors from UC Boulder, just working on a paper." Sam laughs a little. Dean grins and raises a fist.

"Recycle, man." Sam's eyes flick to Dean, who doesn't move.

"You're friends with that Haley girl, right?" The ranger asks, Dean considers.

"Yes. Yes, we are, Ranger-" Dean checks the ranger's nametag. "-Wilkinson."

"Well I will tell you exactly what we told her. Her brother filled out a backcountry permit saying he wouldn't be back from Blackwater until the twenty-fourth, so it's not exactly a missing persons now, is it?" Dean shakes his head. "You tell that girl to quit worrying, I'm sure her brother's just fine.".

"We will. Well that Haley girl's quite a pistol, huh?"

"That is putting it mildly."

"Actually you know what would help is if I could show her a copy of that backcountry permit. You know, so she could see her brother's return date." Dean suggests and Wilkinson eyes Dean as Dean raises his eyebrows. After we get the permit we leave the ranger station. Dean is holding a piece of paper and laughing.

"What, are you cruising for a hookup or something?" Sam jokes.

"What do you mean?"

"The coordinates point to Blackwater Ridge, so what are we waiting for? Let's just go find Dad. I mean, why even talk to this girl?" The boys stop on opposite sides of the Impala.

"Maybe we should know what we're walking into before we actually walk into it?" I suggest.

"Pretty smart." Dean agrees.

"Since when are you all shoot first ask questions later, anyway?" Sam wonders.

"Since now." I laugh as me and Sam get in the car

"Really?" I hear Dean say and he gets in as well.

"Could you guys drop me off at the metro store? I need a new phone." I ask.

"No need." Dean smirks at me, and goes through the glove box. Then he leans back and hands me a small flip phone. "There, so you can call us if you get in trouble."

"Thanks..." I take it from him but sigh in sadness, I miss my dad, I thought.

"What is it?" Sam worries.

"I just miss my dad...I mean I left him a letter telling him I was ok but..."

"Hey, cheer up, you'll get to see him soon. Besides everyday we get closer to dad, you'll see him before you know it." Dean smiles and begins to drive away.

Deans Pov-

After we got to the motel, I asked Y/n if she wanted her own room, she just shrugged and said she didn't care. So I originally planned on getting her own room but in all honesty...I don't want her to die like Jessica. So we got a two bed room, she'd have to sleep with one of us. I put my duffel bag on my bed and sigh, Sam does the same. Y/n was outside calling her dad, letting him know she was ok but she had a time limit so he wouldn't track us.

"We'll isn't this place homey." I comment.

"Yeah...so what do you think of Y/n?" Sam asks.

"I've gotta be honest..She's not suited for this."

"C'mon she isn't that bad."

"Are you kidding? Sure she's smart, and pretty, and helpful..." I smiled to myself, lately I've been having weird feelings around her. "She's...badass."

"Dean, kinda getting off topic."

"Right uh, sorry. Anyways, she's never done this before, I don't think she's ready for this."

"Her dad trained her for this, just like our dad trained us. She maybe haven't done this before but she's been a lot of help. When we were facing Constance, if it wasn't for her I would have probably died."

"She's reckless, she drove baby through the side of a house."

"It was the only way to stop her! I probably would've done the same thing."

"What about the dent that suddenly appeared while we were at the bridge?"

"That was Constance-"

"No, if it was Constance then Y/n would have gotten hit. That....That was something entirely different, and besides that she didn't even talk to us for an entire three hours."

"She was scared-"

"We don't have time to be scared!"

"Dean that was her first hunt, look she did pretty well in the end."

"Yeah well...."

"Well what?"

"We have to take her home...."

"Dean come on."

"No!" I stand up and point a finger at him. "You were the one who was angry at me for bringing her into this. Now that I want to take her out your upset?"

"...I-I...Why don't we let her stay a while longer?"

"Why?"

"Dean she was gonna learn about this sooner or later, might as well be now. And if she wasn't here we would still be stuck in Jericho. How bout this, if she gets hurt or acts immature we'll take her home but for now she stays." I stayed silent, thinking about my next move. Should I really let her stay? What if she gets hurt or even worse...dies. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the door open and close, quickly I put a smile on my face and turned to Y/n. Although she wasn't smiling, she was....heartbroken.

"Y-Y/n?" I called out, and with those sad E/C eyes, she looks at me.

"....I'm no longer welcome home."

Y/n's Pov-

*10 minutes earlier*

This was it, the moment I would call my dad after almost a week. Slowly I pressed in the numbers and the phone began to ring as I put it up to my ear.

"Hello?" A gruff voice said, it was dad, my dad. He seemed sad, and instantly I was filled with regret.

"Hey dad...."

"Y/n!? Where are you?!"

"I'm safe dad....it's ok."

"No it's not ok, me and your mother have been worried sick! If I find you with Dean-"

"Dad please I'm just help-"

"No don't give me that bullshit, you are just being rebellious because I was strict on you."

"No I'm doing this because you wouldn't help Dean find John!"

"I only said no because I don't trust Winchesters! And neither should you! They only care about themselves, not anyone else. Everyone they know dies around them!"

"I haven't died-"

"Which is a miracle, but it's only a matter of time. You better come home this instance or I'm sending out a missing person's add. And when they find you with a twenty-six year old man-"

"Your bluffing, even if you did that they would escape."

"Your not safe Y/n-"

"I never was! No one is every safe in this world! Besides you were training me for hunting my entire life so what's the big deal?!"

"Your only seventeen that's the big deal!"

"Well I'm not going home unless they make me."

"They? Who-Please don't tell me John is there!"

"No it's not John, it's Sam."

"Sam? You mean Sam from Stanford? That's even worse! Y/n you have to get out of there! Something...Something is wrong with that boy!"

"There is nothing wrong with him or Dean, I'm staying here whether you like it or not."

"Then you better stay gone cause I'm tired of a disobedient brat like you! If you don't come home right now I-I'll disown you!" Those words, we're like knives, they went straight into my heart. Tears ran down my cheeks as I realized....I would never be able to go home...

".....Wow.." I say after a minute, "...you say you don't trust the Winchester's, more specifically John....but your just like him." And with that I hung up, what else was there to say? If dad wasn't gonna support me helping someone in need then...there's no point of going home. I have to finish what I started, silently I entered the motel room. I could feel the boy's staring at me.

"Y-Y/n?.." Dean called out, slowly I meet his gaze and say "....I'm no longer welcome home."

"What do you mean no longer welcome home?" Sam questioned, for the last ten minutes I had been crying my heart out in Dean's chest. I told him how the conversation played out, and by the end both of them were furious.

"I knew Y/D/N had a little anger issues, but to go that far?....That's just low." Dean said.

"Don't worry Y/n...you'll always have a home with us." Sam soothed, making me smile.

"Thanks guys....for the record, if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change my decision."

"Well I'm glad." Dean smiled and kissed me on the forehead, making me instantly blush. "Cause I wouldn't want you to change it either." No one said anything after that, we just continued with our mission. Later after we got settled in our motel, we drive to the girls house. We stand at the door and it opens to reveal Haley Collins.

"You must be Haley Collins. I'm Dean, this is Sam and Y/n, we're, ah, we're rangers with the Park Service. Ranger Wilkinson sent us over. He wanted us to ask a few questions about your brother Tommy." Haley hesitates.

"Lemme see some ID." She says. Sam pulls out his fake ID with the name 'Samuel Cole' and held it up against the screen. Haley looks at it, then at me and Dean, then opens the door.

"Come on in."

"Thanks." The door swings open as Haley catches sight of the Impala.

"That yours?" She asks.

"Yeah." Dean says proudly, Sam looks back at the Impala.

"Nice car." Haley leads us into the kitchen, where a boy is sitting at the table on a laptop. Dean turns his head to mouth something to Sam, who rolls his eyes. We show her the permit but she just scoffs and leaves the kitchen.

"So if Tommy's not due back for a while, how do you know something's wrong?" Sam asks. Haley comes back into the room with a bowl she places on the table. "He checks in every day by cell. He emails, photos, stupid little videos-we haven't heard anything in over three days now." She answers.

"Well, maybe he can't get cell reception."

"He's got a satellite phone, too."

"Could it be he's just having fun and forgot to check in? Maybe it dropped in the lake or something." I say.

"He wouldn't do that." The boy at the table says, I eye him, but he looks away. Haley comes back putting more food on the table and says. "Our parents are gone. It's just my two brothers and me. We all keep pretty close tabs on each other."

"Can I see the pictures he sent you?" Sam asks.

"Yeah." On the laptop, she pulls up pictures.

"That's Tommy." She clicks twice and another picture comes up, then the still frame opening the latest video.

"Hey Haley, day six, we're still out near Blackwater Ridge. We're fine, keeping safe, so don't worry, okay? Talk to you tomorrow." I spot something on the video however, it was like a shadow.

"Well, we'll find your brother. We're heading out to Blackwater Ridge first thing." Dean smiles.

"Then maybe I'll see you there. Look, I can't sit around here anymore. So I hired a guy. I'm heading out in the morning, and I'm gonna find Tommy myself." Hayley confessed.

"I think I know how you feel."

"Hey, do you mind forwarding these to me?" Sammy asks.

"Sure." We smile and leave, departing from them.

After the meeting with Haley, we decided to go to the bar, after I got a fake ID. Now I was Y/n Dixon, a twenty-five year old female. The three of us were sitting down at a table.

"So, Blackwater Ridge doesn't get a lot of traffic. Local campers, mostly. But still, this past April, two hikers went missing out there. They were never found." I mention as I was using Sam's laptop, he told me I'd probably get better luck if I'd try to find information. Sam was opening John's journal, searching it for clues.

"Any before that?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, in 1982, eight different people all vanished in the same year. Authorities said it was a grizzly attack. And again in 1959 and again before that in 1936. So every twenty-three years, this thing comes out. Okay so since Haley sent Sam the video, watch this." I put the laptop where both of the boys can see go through three frames of the video one at a time. A dark shadow, like the one I saw earlier crosses the screen.

"Do it again." Dean says. I repeat the frames.

"That's three frames, a fraction of a second. Whatever that thing is, it can move."

Dean hits Sam.

"Told you something weird was going on."

"Yeah you were right." Sam smiles.

"The only thing that I know that can move that fast is a werewolf." I state.

"That's what I thought to." Sam says. "However I got one more thing." Sam hands over a newspaper article. "In 'fifty-nine one camper survived this supposed grizzly attack. Just a kid. Barely crawled out of the woods alive." I nod and the hand it to Dean who looks at newspaper.

"Is there a name? Uh...Oh here, Mr. Shaw." Dean reads.

"So then we go talk to him now, right?' I ask.

"That should be the plan." Sammy says.

"Ok what's up with your hair?" Dean asks.

"What?.."

"It was just H/C now it's yellow, is it like some kind of special hair dye?" I grab a lock of my hair, and he was right, it was bright yellow.

"No I haven't dyed my hair since I was fifteen."

"Ok something is definitely going on with you. First dad mentions you, then you somehow put a dent in my car without touching it and now your hair is yellow." The moment he said that my hair changed to purple.

"See there it goes again!"

"I...I don't know." My heart starts beating faster by the second, what's happening to me me?

"Dean I think you scaring her. Maybe we should call Y/D/N.." Sam suggests but Dean shakes his head.

"No screw that guy, look we'll figure it out. For now try to...keep it one color."

"You think I have control over this?"

"Maybe it's connected to your emotions?" Sam says grabbing his laptop and starts typing.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Keeping notes. Maybe if we keep track of what's happening to you then we can figure out what's going on. So purple is fear, then that would mean yellow is joy and when your hair is H/C it means you are experiencing no emotions."

"Well, other than this magical weird...stuff. What now?"

"To the store, we need to get you a business suit, then to Mr. Shaw." Dean says.

"A business suit? What for?" I wonder, but Dean only smirks.

Finding the perfect suit was hard, it wasn't until I walked out of the dressing room for the 5th time. This time both of the boys smiled, and Dean looked away blushing a bit. It was like a coat that went halfway down my thigh, however you could see my cleavage a little bit.

"How bout this one?" I ask.

"Y-Yea yea, that's good. Nice and formal." Dean stutters.

"Good, now I guess we buy this and then we can be on our way."

After we bought the suit, we went to go see Mr. Shaw. He talks to the three of us while leading us inside his house. He has a cigarette in his mouth, I coughed a little from the smoke.

"Look, ranger, I don't know why you're asking me about this. It's public record. I was a kid. My parents got mauled by a-" Sam interrupts.

"Grizzly? That's what attacked them?" Shaw takes a puff of his cigarette, takes it out, and nods.

"The other people that went missing that year, those bear attacks too?" The room went quiet. "What about all the people that went missing this year? Same thing? If we knew what we were dealing with, we might be able to stop it." Dean says.

"I seriously doubt that. Anyways, I don't see what difference it would make." Mr. Shaw sits down with a sad look on his face. "You wouldn't believe me. Nobody ever did...."

"Try me."

"I said no and that's final." He huffed, I knew he wasn't gonna tell us. I hesitantly sit down across from him.

"Mr. Shaw, what did you see?...I know you think we won't believe you but your our last resort. If you help us, I promise you we will get revenge for your parents." He looks at me like I was lyin, but sighs in defeat.

"Nothing. It moved too fast to see. It hid too well. I heard it, though. A roar. Like...no man or animal I ever heard."

"It came at night?" Shaw nods. "Got inside your tent?"

"It got inside our cabin. I was sleeping in front of the fireplace when it came in. It didn't smash a window or break the door. It unlocked it. Do you know of a bear that could do something like that? I didn't even wake up till I heard my parents screaming."

"It killed them?"

"Dragged them off into the night." He shakes his head. "Why it left me alive...been asking myself that ever since." Shaw's hands go to his collar. "Did leave me this, though." He opens his collar to reveal three long scars. Claw marks. Sam and Dean look at them. "There's something evil in those woods. It was some sort of a demon."

The three of us walk the length of a corridor with rooms on either side. "Spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. If they want inside, they just go through the walls." Dean says.

"So it's probably something else, something corporeal." I state.

"Corporeal? Excuse me, professor."

"So what do you think?" Sam chimes in.

"The claws, the speed that it moves...could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog"

"No it looked more human...what about a Wendigo? I don't know. I can do some research when we get to where ever were goin next." I offered.

"Where were goin next is our motel." Dean says. We drove back to motel, and I get out of the car as Dean opens the trunk of the Impala, then the weapons box, and props it open with a shotgun. He puts some guns in a duffel bag as Sam leans in.

"We cannot let that Haley girl go out there."

"Oh yeah? What are we gonna tell her? That she can't go into the woods because of a big scary monster?"

"Yeah." Dean looks at Sam.

"I may not know much about monsters Sam but that is probably the most stupidest idea." I intervene. "Besides her brother's missing, Sam. She's not gonna just sit this out."

"Then we go with her, we protect her, and we keep our eyes peeled for our fuzzy predator friend." Dean says picking up the duffel.

"Finding Dad's not enough?" Sam slams the weapons box shut, then the trunk. "Now we gotta babysit too?" Dean stares at Sam in annoyance.

"What?"

"Nothing." He throws the duffel bag at Sam and walks off. I follow in pursuit, when I walk through the door Dean looks at me and Sam who is behind me.

"So Y/n, you have to sleep with one of us tonight since there's only two beds."

"She can sleep with me." Sam offered.

"Well I mean it's up to her."

"I don't care, you two do rock, paper, scissors shoe whoever wins gets the bed to themselves."

"Alright seems fair enough." Dean says and holds out his hand in the formation. Sam rolls his eyes and throws the duffel bag onto one of the bed then gets into formation.

"Ok one, two, three!" I count down and both of them go, Dean chose rock while Sam chose paper. Dean smiles but quickly hides it and enters the bathroom.

"Is it just me or is he happy that he lost?" I ask making Sam shake his head.

"That's a first, though if he tries anything let me know. I'll let you sleep with me."

"Eh if he tries anything I'll break his hand." Sam chuckles.

"That's our girl."

Later that night all three of us was in bed. I couldn't sleep though, I still kept hearing my dad's words over and over. "I'll disown you", how could he say something like that to me? Tears began to form, I cover my mouth trying to keep quiet but Dean heard me.

"Y/n?" He quietly calls out. "You ok?"

"Y-Yeah...."

"Is this about your dad?...." Slowly I nod and Dean pulls me closer.

"It's gonna be ok, ok? He didn't mean it, he probably just said that so you'd come home....if you ever wanna...don't hesitate."

"But you said once I'm in this-"

"And I was wrong, your just a kid, you don't deserve this life...." I could hear the sadness in his voice, I look up at him. Those big green eyes stare down at me, making me smile.

"Neither do you...."

"...It'll be ok, I promise." He gently puts a hand on my cheek and caresses it with his thumb. I felt that urge, I wanted to kiss him, it was the perfect moment. It was like a moment in a movie where everyone is waiting for that kiss, waiting for the love to blossom. I slowly lean in, while staring into those beautiful forest green eyes. He doesn't move, which makes me nervous and my hair turns purple.

"Why are you scared?" He asked. "Was it something I said?"

"No I just....No it wasn't you....well I guess I'll let you sleep. Goodnight Dean." Quickly I move so I'm facing away from him, my cheeks are burning. Did I really just try to kiss Dean?

The New Hunter Masterlist

@samsgirl93 @nani-gram @eliwinchester99

#dean supernatural #dean winchester #dean winchester imagines #sam winchester #sam winchester imagines #dean winchester smut #dean x reader #dean x y/n #sam x you #sam fanfiction #sammy #sam winchester smut #sam and dean #supernatural

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cyanidefilledcandy · 4 years ago

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I’m about to talk about death, so...

So, last night, I had another dream about my little sister. Oddly enough, I don’t dream about her super often and I was and am both...disturbed and grateful for that.

It’s not unusual for me to dream about dead relatives I was close to. My grandmothers (my paternal and maternal and maternal great grandmother), I dream about frequently. (My paternal grandfather not so much, and that makes me sad and makes me feel like I must not have cared about him enough. ...though, the real culprit is likely memory. He died when I was in middle school; my grandmothers all died when I was in adulthood.)

Usually when I dream about them, it’s like business as usual. It’s literally just mundane life things. We’re just going about our regular lives, and they’re just there like they had been when they were here. We talk a lot of the times, but it’s nothing significant; just regular conversation and they’re....just there.

With my sister, it’s been the complete opposite.

In EVERY dream I’ve had about my sister, she’s been dead. Except for one I had recently, and in the end, she just turned into my niece. And if she looks to be alive, then the dream will remind that she’s dead. Like one I had...

It was another of those mundane dreams where she, my mom, and I were in car driving, and she was in the backseat and we were just bantering. The subject of her pregnancy came up, but again, nothing out of the ordinary. We were just talking about how many issues she had. I jabbed at her that next time she would be in Georgia or a better hospital or just somewhere with better doctors. And she just kind of gave me an incredulous look and was like “WHAT next time?” and I just kind of stopped and was like “....oh right...” Cause she’s dead... And I’m honestly surprised that I thought that.

Again, usually in my dreams about my dead relatives, there’s nothing out of the ordinary to even suggest that they’re dead. And my sister and I used to have back and forths like that frequently, especially when her first child was born. I’d say something like, “When are you having the next one?” and she’d be like “Not.” Or “who?!” So for that to happen...

Maybe it’s because I felt....feel her death harder than any other I’ve experienced in my life...but I hate that even in my dreams, I can’t seem to think of her in any other context. As if there’s no reprieve from this most unfair reality. But last night’s dream was especially weird.

I was with someone...maybe it was my mom, and we drove up to the cemetery. I paused for a moment before getting out of the car. The other person turned to ask me, “Uh...do you know whose grave this is?” as if asking if I was SURE I wanted to get out and look. And I answered in a kind of “duh” fashion. We buried my sister next to my paternal grandparents, so I figured I could pay some respects to both of them. So, I got out and turned to their graves and they were covered by a plastic tent to protect them from the elements. I noticed it looked like a heavy storm was brewing like a hurricane or something. I then looked back to the graves and my sister’s coffin was out of the ground, open, and empty. It also looked like it had been ransacked. The lining in the lid was torn almost off and the was hanging out and getting wet in the muddy ground.

Of course, I was outraged and just as I was about to start a fight with someone, out a small building in the distance (the mortuary I somehow knew), out walks the female mortician who handled my sister, along with my maternal grandmother. They were both carrying my sister back to the coffin.

I instantly relaxed, knowing my grandma wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her. The mortician explains that they had to do something... I don’t remember what it was, but it was likely something that would only make sense in a dream. I nodded and waited for them to put her back in. This part is a bit fuzzier, but other members of my family were suddenly there and everyone was trying to prepare her coffin....or something. There were these little cloth dolls of I guess family members and people were trying to figure out which ones they wanted to keep and which ones they wanted my sister to be buried with. I remember they kept exchanging them or something, and they were some kind of collectable? Again, that part is really fuzzy.

The mortician finally puts my sister back and kind of haphazardly drop her in the coffin, like she was too heavy and she just couldn’t hold her anymore. Of course, I don’t like this, but figure I’m no one to criticize someone at their profession. My sister ends up not even fully in the coffin and the bottom padding is missing. She’s also wearing the wig I just bought, which looks amazing on her and much better than the one I ended up picking IRL. And then all of a sudden, she starts convulse every few seconds. Like a twitch or jump of her limbs and eventually, her mouth starts to hang open. Almost like she’s having a seizure.

The mortician or my mom or someone tells me that “Don’t worry. Sometimes dead bodies move involuntarily and it means nothing. I’m annoyed because this is something I already know, even if part of me (I guess my waking mind) knew that she was way too animated for this to just be muscle spasms.

The spasming gets worse to the point that she falls completely out of the coffin. This time however, her eyes open and her mouth is shut (because morticians wire them shut). She keeps convulsing and I’m repeating in my head that “this doesn’t mean anything. this doesn’t mean anything.” But suddenly her head goes back and her eyes are staring at me, desperately and I immediately know a horrible mistake was made.

Have you guys ever seen The Haunting of Hill House? That scene where Olivia has a vision of an adult Nell dead before she rises and desperately tries to beg Olivia to save her...this was very similar to that. She was even dressed in red like Nell was in the show (I had her dressed in red because it was her favorite color). Except my sister looked like she wanted to move and couldn’t. Like her body was too stiff and her mouth was wired shut, so she couldn’t speak and looked like she desperately wanted to.

So, I immediately go “Something’s wrong. We were wrong! She’s alive! Someone help her!” And I had a few people trying to calm me down. They weren’t exactly denying the fact just trying to calm me down. I get more and more frantic and weirdly see some kind of countdown...

And 3, 2, 1, I woke up and my sister was still and silent and I realized I had went through that all in my head. They ended up reburying her and my grandmother stood beside me crying. I hugged her and tried to give her words of comfort. I told her not to worry because her other grandmother and grandfather (the grandmother I was talking to’s husband) and Pepper (our childhood pet) were all looking after her. Again...the grandmother I was talking to is also dead and she died before my maternal grandmother did, so....that was weird...

The next part is a bit fuzzy, but I wound up having a conversation with my sister. We just casually talking about her experience of....dying and being buried? It seemed and felt like one of my other mundane dreams about dead relatives, but I knew very well that she was dead. She told me she was tired of the dolls she was buried with (those weird collectable family dolls) and she said a few other things, and mentioned that she just didn’t have an appetite and some other things where she was just sick and uncomfortable (similar to all the stuff she went through while she pregnant). I told her, “I’m sorry, baby.” And she said a couple other things again very casually before I woke up.

Oddly enough...I felt strangely calm and peaceful when I woke up.

I don’t know if this is common or not, but my dreams MAJORLY affect my mood and usually whatever feeling I was feeling when I was dreaming carries on with me when I wake up. And not JUST when I wake up; it stays as if it happened to me IRL. Just like yesterday, where I had another apocalypse dream where me and my mom were at odds, and I was depressed all day yesterday. Or a major dream I had long ago where my sister got shot and was dying right in front of my eyes and I had to try and carry her to the hospital. I’ll never forget how she looked in that dream....literally dying. Usually when I dream of someone dying, it’s like a movie death. This dream was eerily realistic with how she was dying. ....that dream had me depressed and physically sick for days after, and has stuck with me... (I wasn’t kidding when I said my sister dying was my worst nightmare...)

I guess it was because we were just talking like normal. However, once I thought back on the dream and the strangeness of it, Depression set in fast. Though, it wasn’t so much the dream than I just feel that loss all over again.

IDK...I kind of wanted to document this dream because the strangeness of it, I guess. Some things I think I know what they mean or represent and others are just...weird...

Visiting the grave is obvious... I think the changing of her hair and shoddy state of the coffin is my own insecurities and unsatisfaction with how her burial was handled. Everyone tells me I did a good job with picking out everything, but I wasn’t satisfied at all with how she looked and I keep imagining if by some miracle I DO see her after death, that she’d have a few choice words. ...jokingly and good-naturedly, of course, but still...

I didn’t realize it until after I woke, but the convulsions she had I thought looked seizure like...and I wonder if that’s what my mind thinks happened in her last moments... I wasn’t there, but my mom just describes it has blood coming out of her eyes, nose, and mouth. That wasn’t present in the dream, but she also says that when she went, my mom couldn’t get her mouth to close...and the dream, her mouth was open when the convulsions started.

When she falls to the ground and looks at me desperately to help....I think it harkens back to a thought I had when she first died that maybe she wasn’t really dead, but in a deep coma and she would wake up in the coming days. Even after we buried her, part of me still held on to the belief that she wasn’t really dead and had the horrible idea of her waking up in her coffin under a ton of concrete and couldn’t get out (which has always been a deep dark fear of mine for myself). It’s a dumb thought...not only was she autopsied, but embalmed. I know it’s dumb, but when I said I went through every stage of grief at once, I mean it... Part of me is still going through all of those stages at once...Part of me is still searching desperately for a way to go back and save her from this fate...

Denial and bargaining...

The rest I’m not so sure about... I don’t know what the family doll things represent and I don’t know why my dream acknowledged that all my relatives were dead, except my maternal grandmother. I know her being with the mortician was just knowing she was in good hands with my grandmother. Maybe me dreaming of comforting her was just me wishing I had her here to go through this with... But who knows?

I know this was a HELL of a long read. I don’t expect anyone to actually read through this shit. I just wanted to get it out and....analyze it I guess. And also just...DO something with this grief instead of just replaying the dream in my head on repeat all day...

If one of you DID read this, I appreciate that you think so highly of me to read through my long-winded ramblings. ....and I’m also sorry for that because I’m not worthy of that. But, I love you dearly.

#death #a lot of fucking death...#dream journal

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qbrooklyn1056 · 4 years ago

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El angelito que cambió NYC!

The lack of resources when it comes to children should never be an issue. Why is it that rich children get treated so, much better than less fortunate children? Aren't children, children and they all should be loved and tread equally? This is no where near the case for most poor children. The system seems like they fail to protect black and brown babies, like to them its not as important as finding justice for white baby. When describing children, you think of lovable, sweet and some of the smartest little humans you’ll come across. Children are the key to joy some may say and their pure innocence makes up for some of the most hilarious and memories moments. What happens when you have people who use their children innocence for their own personal gains, and the lack of a system making sure putting the safety of children needs at top priority. You get a dead child and a ton of excuses. Either way, 6-year-old Elisa Izquierdo, who would have been 32 years old this year, but instead is resting in Cypress Hills Cemetery. This would be at the hands of the people who she should’ve been most protected by.

Elisa Izquierdo was born on February 11th 1989, in Brooklyn NY, at Woodhull hospital. She was born to Gustavo Izquierdo, who was a Cuban immigrant dancer, and her mother Awilda Lopez who was Puerto Rican. The pair met in a homeless shelter in Fort Greene Brooklyn, where Izquierdo was a caretaker, and she was a resident of the shelter. Two years into the relationship Lopez got pregnant with Elisa. Izquierdo would break up with Lopez after discovering she was heavy into using crack cocaine, and that was actually part of the reason she was into the shelter anyway. She would lose her two oldest kids to child welfare (Now ACS), the same year Elisa was born. Elisa had crack cocaine in her system and Elisa was permanently place with her father. He made sure she was his world and got her into a good school, but a health condition would interfere with him paying for Elisa schooling. Says the daily news, who covered the whole story throughout the trail.

Should a parent that had been on drugs get their children back? For most, I would say, Hell No, not untroubled the child is 17 and older. This way the child can fight back or speak up against the abuse if its happening. Plus,, most abuse patents, usually only go after the weak and small, because they can't fight back. Now, the same year her mother claimed to completely drug treatment and had an apartment on Manhattan Lower East side, Rutgers Houses projects. She was now married to a maintenance worker named Carlos Lopez. Lopez was granted unsupervised visits every second weekend. This is where her two oldest siblings would tell family, that Elisa was being abused and lock in a cupboard by their mom and step-dad. (Family members did nothing). While Elisa would return home and begin bedwetting and had scars all over including her genitalia. She would vomit after coming from her mom house and would refuse to go in bathrooms. (Information also provided by the daily news), I don't know about most people, but if a child is showing all these signs, something is very wrong. This is nothing you sweep under a rug this is something the U.S. Marshall's should even be notified of. This little girl was being treated like a human punching bag, all for just being herself. Elisa story should be made into a movie or shown at them programs for people who abuse kids. Should also be shown to new parents, so they can have an understanding of the real world. Even people thinking about having a baby Should see this story, so they know how much work kids are but they may also come to realize they're not ready for a child.

Her father is the type of dad I believe anybody wouldn't want as a dad or any woman would love to have a baby by him, because of how much he cared and loved his daughter. He was a real standup guy who just wanted the best for his baby girl. He never could imagine that the person he had a baby with, was the devil in the flesh. Himand teacher notice the bruises, and she said she didn’t want to go back to her house ever again. Elisa also, told a social worker what had happened, and Izquierdo tried everything to stop the visitation rights, but the courts said she could continue to see her daughter, but under the conditions she doesn’t hit her child Izquierdo would purchase tickets for Cuba for the date of May 26, 1994, he planned on moving him and Elisa there. He would be rushed to the hospital in May, finding that he had Lung Cancer, he would pass on the same day him and his daughter was supposed to start their new life May 26, 1994. The director of the school still tried to report the mother after the father died because the school was worried. Since he wasn’t there to fight for her anymore. I sometimes wonder why God took him away from that Elisa, because she really needed him at this time, but even though this story is tragic. It's because of Elisa's story a rules and regulations have change when it comes to children.

This is were we see things get really bad for little Elisa. This is were child welfare dropped the ball over and over. This is were this beautiful little girl will lose her life because everyone around her was dropping the ball. Her mother would get temporary custody after she filed a permanent custody order of Elisa, Izquierdo family would challenge the decision, Lopez lawyer made her seem like a saint, who wasn’t going to use drugs again, and Elisa wanted to be with her biological mother. Judge Phoebe Greenbaum approved permanent custody in September 1994. Elisa was withdrawn from private school and sent to public school 126 in Manhattan. She was said to be “uncommunicative, emotionally disturbed, and urinated often”. Also, the principle at the new school said “Elisa was tearing out hair and walking with difficulty.” In 1995, some ones sent an anonymous letter to child welfare and said Lopez cut off Elisa hair and was locking her in dark rooms. The school kept reporting and child welfare kept saying “Not reportable “due to lack of evidence. The evidence was obviously there. It was supposed to be a caseworker checking on Elisa all the time. Lopez back on drugs and that spring withdrew Elisa from 126 and didn’t enroll her another school. She was in her six child and but Elisa for some reason was always her target. Why wasn't this judge disbarred? This is a slap in the face to any child going through abuse. You are basically giving the abuser a pass to do whatever they want to the child with no consequences. Do you really think that a person on drugs, who beats her child everyday, is going to change overnight? I'm here to tell you absolutely not, Not when they don't even like there own child. I believe a lot of these people should have been brought up on charges and given prison time to show the world we will not tolerate this kind of abuse.

To imagine this poor little girl being beating and abused by somebody that she hope would protect, turned out to be a monster. The mother was an evil women with real problems, besides drug use. In my opinion she knew exactlywhat she was doing, because she didn'treat all her kids that way or even think about doing half the things she did to Elisato the others. I mean this women made this child. eat her own feces, sexually assaulted with a hairbrush, hair mopped with the floor, and way more horrible things. Carlos Lopez would beat Elisa and the oldest two because they weren’t his. November 22nd. Lopez would phone her sister and says her daughter was “retarded on the bed" and she had fluid coming from her nose and mouth, which was said to be brain fluid. She was told to take her to the hospital and she said “I’ll think about it after she did the dishes.” The next day a neighbor came to see what was going on and told Lopez to call the police and she said “No.” The neighbor did and Lopez talked of committing suicide. She would admit that she threw her daughter into a wall two days prior. The autopsy revealed broken fingers, vaginal tear, burns, welts, and a bone protruding through her skin.

Elisa story gained lots of media attention and the Newspapers, such as dateline, New York times, and time magazine just to name a few. Everyone was in some way scolding child welfare services for dropping the ball horribly. Judge Phoebe Greenbaum faced a lot of backlash and claimed she followed proper procedures in the case. Then Mayor Rudolph Giulliani would create ACS (Administration for Children Services). Devoted to child welfare, which years down the line would have a lot of similar cases like Elisa. In 1996 then Governor George Pataki signed Elisa's law which is for every agency whether private or city work together to make sure children are safe, and to also protect the child’s privacy or workers in case of any situation with abuse. This is about the need to increase accountability in the city.

This whole situation is just wrong, so many people failed this child and looked the other way. I guess it goes back to what I was asking at the beginning. I believe poverty can play a big part in children not getting enough love and support from their families, because they have to work and make sure things are taking care of. One thing I learned is no matter what, talk to a child and see if anything is going on. Any little sign of anything you confront the situation, you don’t want to wait until it too late to do something about it. Hurting one of most God creatures is absolutely disgusting, and there should be no coming back from that. I wonder if she was from a family with money would child service had taken her case way more serious? The answer most likely is yes. Money talks in this country and the sad part is, people don’t take action until its always too late. One child is too many to lose to child abuse.

• Daily News

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